"My limbs were stiff and sore, for I was still
bound to the cannon, which was a nine-pounder
fieldpiece.
"The chief, Ali Khan, whose whim it was to
keep me prisoner instead of cutting me to pieces,
was an outlaw now; several regiments of Gough's
army, both infantry and cavalry were sent into
the country of the Mahrattas at the expense of
the Gwalior Government, to enforce peace and
order; so he, with his followers, were compelled
to lurk among the mountains in the north-west
of Scinde.
"There were times when I repined bitterly,
and thought that but for Riversdale's presence in
front of the village, when he ought to have been
in the rear of the attacking column looking after
the wounded, I should not have made that desperate
onslaught to rescue him, and so been taken
myself!
"Alas! you see that my story, unlike most
others, begins with a happy marriage instead of
ending with it, as most novels do, and all
comedies at the fall of the curtain.
"Like most, if not nearly all the Mahratta
troops, the followers of Ali Khan were cavalry,
hardy and ferocious fellows. Their only arms
were swords, spears, and matchlocks, like those
used in the wars of Cromwell; their only
equipage, blankets and horse-cloths. With these
slight incumbrances they easily rode fifty miles
a day, feeding their horses on whatever they
would eat; whether it was the ripe corn growing
in the fields or the dry thatched roofs of a village,
was all the same to the Mahrattas of Ali Khan,
who was a stern and unyielding warrior, vain of
real or supposed descent from Sevajee, the
founder of the old Mahratta empire.
"En route he carried off several children, and
I now learned for the first time that his people
were fond of possessing slaves, and hence their
capture of me.
"Over miles upon miles of a flat country
covered with wild bushes, and many more of
desert sand, they fled from Maharajpore, till we
entered upon a district studded by almost
impervious thickets and tamarisk shrubs which also
entwine their branches; and beyond this desolate
region we reached the mountains that look down
on Western Scinde, where they halted, encamped,
and lurked for several weeks to rest and heal
their wounds, subsisting the while by forays and
the plunder they carried off in their march.
Sometimes All Khan made the neighbourhood too
hot to hold him; and then, by a swift movement,
he would favour other regions, perhaps in
Beloochistan, with a short residence; but he generally
preferred to hover in the hills to the north of
Tattah, which are barren and totally uninhabited,
so that we were often compelled to plunder for
food, almost to the gates of Brahminabad, its
ancient capital.
"Chained to that accursed gun, my sole
sleeping-place being between its wheels at night,
exposed to the dews with only a horse-rug to cover
me (while the Mahrattas lived in tents), exposed
to the risks of being helplessly strangled by
Thugs, devoured by tigers or jackals, or being
bitten by serpents such as the terrible Braminee
cobra, stung by insects all day, and having the
disgusting green bugs among my matted locks
and beard by night—chained to the gun, I say,
like Ixion on his wheel in the Infernal Regions,
I thought—oh, how deeply and desperately—of
her I loved, of my home, of free and pleasant
England, far, far away; of Stoketon Moat and
Cheshire with all its shady woods, its lakes and
meres; its parks of emerald green, its shady lanes
and hedgerows; of the broad Mersey winding to
the sea; of budding spring and glorious summer,
brown autumn, with its golden harvest fields and
crisp foliage, and jolly winter, with its snow on
hill and wold, its green bays and scarlet berries
in church-porch and in hall.
"Changes like these I had none!
"It was a period of horror, weariness, and
despair—a despair that was black and hopeless,
and daily, with a sickened heart, I surveyed the
arid plains on one hand and the barren mountains
of Tattah on the other, hoping against hope for
some rescue or relief, and in this slavery more
than a year passed away, without an event save
an occasional buffalo hunt, when hides were
wanted for shields or harness, (as the Mahrattas
cared not for the beef), or an occasional kutha, a
popular amusement of the tribe, when recitations
and songs are given by professional musicians or
story-tellers; and frequently I heard them sing
of the battle of Maharajpore, and how the great
Sahib-log, Ellenborough Bahadour, had been
amid the thickest of the conflict, mounted
on a snow-white elephant, in the howdah of
which I had certainly seen his lordship freely
exposing himself to the risks of shot and shell.
"My sabre wound had been allowed to heal
as Nature chose, and after hemorrhage ceased it
closed rapidly; but unluckily for myself, by the
skilful and tender manner in which I bound up a
bayonet-stab received by Ali Khan, the Mahrattas
conceived that I was a doctor, and hence kept
me closely secured to the gun, to frustrate any
attempt to escape.
"Isabel's letter was found upon my person,
and conceived to be some great medical secret;
the ink lines were carefully washed off the paper,
and the dilution swallowed on speculation by Ali
Khan and his favourite wife; but I had many
cures to perform, many cuts and stabs and bullet-holes
to probe and patch and bind, with the terror
of death hanging over me if I failed, or a patient
fevered or died; but luckily for me the
Mahrattas were all Hindus, extremely temperate in
what they ate or drank, so I was pretty successful
in my practice, and earned the goodwill of all,
particularly that of the women of the tribe, who
were as hardy and as muscular as the men, and
regularly shared every labour with them save
that of fighting; but it was long before I
succeeded in convincing them that I was not a
doctor, and by that time I was so weary of existence,
as to care little whether they shot me, to
save further feeding or trouble.
"Released but at rare intervals, and even then
always closely watched, I had been five years
chained to the gun, when it was abandoned in a
deep nullah as a useless incumbrance. I was
then worn to bone and brawn; but I had lost
all heart and hope. Heaven knows how I had
been fed, for I had been treated often like a
dog—a creature of the lowest caste.
"Offers of ransom I had often made in vain;
and chance of rescue I had none. Neither had
I any prospect of escape. I was without horse,
or arms, or money, or even a knowledge of where
I was, so devious had been our wanderings; and
at times I could not say with certainty whether
we were on the confines of Beloochistan, or
among the mountains of Kelat.
"The Hindu religion admits of no proselytes, so
I was never troubled with any attempts to
convert me; the institutes of Menou, compiled
1200 B.C., had quite settled all that, so that I was
safer than if in the hands of Mohammedans, who
might have compelled me to choose between the
turban and the bowstring.
"And so a sixth year passed away!
"Was my Isabel living or dead? Had she
perished of a broken heart? I tried to remember of
a widow that had done so, but failed. Was our
little child living now? If so he should be
verging on seven years old. Seven years old—oh
my God! I would press my hands over my
eyes and strive to portray him, for I knew that
the child must grow, and change with his growth;
but I could only picture him as I had seen him
last, nestling in his mother's bosom.
"Then I would think with a shudder, Alas! how
long may he have been in his little grave?
"Ever present were such thoughts as these;
of Isabel and the baby in 'the woollen bootikins'
which had been worked for it, as her last and
only letter told, by Katie—little Katie, whom I
remembered with her masses of golden hair; the
rippling locks of which would neither keep in
knot or net, but hung like an aureole, a shining
glory round her smiling face.
"Kate would be four-and-twenty now, and
most likely herself a mother.
"I knew that I must long, long since have
been gazetted out of the service; numbered with
the lost, the missing, or the dead; that another
must have filled my rank and place in the
regiment, where by that time my very name must be
forgotten!
"And so I grieved at the thought of these
things, till my heart grew sick with sorrow and
grieving. Oh, how true it is, that 'the heart
knoweth its own bitterness, and a stranger
intermeddleth not with its joys.'
"Times there were when I longed for death,
for, as Dryden says in his 'Don Sebastian,' I felt
keenly but bitterly that 'Death is to man in
misery, a sleep;' but in that sleep, I should have
no dreams of Isabel or home.
"One day—I shall never, never forget it—these,
and such sad and bitter thoughts as these,
were maddening me while I was grooming the
horses of Ali Khan, beautiful animals of the
Candahar and Thibet breeds, and when my task
was over I sat down beside a tamarisk tree, and
actually gave way to tears. We were then
encamped, as I knew, not far from the Indus, in a
place where a grove of peepul trees grew round a
little lake beside a Hindu temple of white marble,
the bronze idols in which the Mahratta women
were wont to fan for hours, after smearing them
with ointments, butter, and ghee.
"'The Sahib-log (white gentleman) is always
sad?' said a voice close by me; and on looking
up I saw Ali Khan, with his shield of buffalo
hide slung on his back, and leaning on his long
Kelat spear, while his dark gleaming eyes
observed me with something of wonder and much
of contempt.
"'I have thoughts, O Khan, that make me
sad,' said I, rising and crossing my hands upon
my breast.
"'Are you not kindly used among us?' he asked.
"'I have certainly eaten your salt and bread;
but both have been watered by the tears of
misery.'
"'Why?'
"'I have a wife and child——'
"'I have several wives and children too; yet
were I a captive, would they cost me a tear? No.
I am a man! Go—our lives are in the hands of
Bramah—our doom in the hands of Kali—even
yours, a creature without caste or future.'
"And turning away with stolidity and scorn,
he mounted the horse I had just saddled for
him, and with his long tasselled spear in his
hand, rode off on a scouting expedition—for
the appearance of some Bombay cavalry in our
vicinity had rendered him somewhat uneasy.
"He had scarcely left me, when I heard some
shrill cries from the women of his followers
who were dipping and bleaching their linen
dresses in the little lake beside the peepul
grove. A child had fallen into it from a
rock where he had been gathering flowers; it
was the deepest part of the lake, and the little
creature rose twice and sank again before I
stirred myself.
"'What is it to me?' thought I bitterly;
'would that every Mahratta in the land were in
the same perilous predicament.'
"A third time the boy rose and wildly threw
up his little brown hands and arms, while his
half-shriek came over the water as he vanished
again. At that moment a thought of my own child
flashed upon my mind, and plunging in, I dived
successfully, saved and brought the little
Mahratta cub to dry land; but barely in time, for
some hours elapsed before I succeeded in
perfectly restoring him to life and consciousness,
and ere I became aware that it was Sevajee, the
favourite child of Ali Khan, I had rescued from
a watery grave!
"With all his assumed stolidity and apparent
sternness of heart, the Mahratta chief was melted
towards me now, and in a burst of gratitude he
gave me my liberty!
"'Go,' said he; 'here are a swift horse, good
arms, my own, and a bag of rupees. You are
free to join your people. Thirty miles from this,
near a temple of Seva, on the left bank of the
Indus, you will find them. Go—and Brahma,
Kali, and Vishnu be your guides, and may their
arms overshadow you, even as those of the
blessed banian tree overshadow the earth!'
"This was the best and holiest wish a Hindu
could give me, as they pay divine honours to
this enormous tree.
"You may imagine that I was not long in
availing myself of the permission so suddenly
given.
"Like one in a dream, one who had suddenly
shaken off a long nightmare that has been
protracted to the verge of madness, I rode all that
afternoon at a breathless pace, not without fears
that Ali Khan might change his mind, or my
horse, arms, and rupees should excite the cupidity
of some of his people who might follow me; and
ere nightfall I found myself in a little flying camp
formed by a battalion of the Queen's troops (the
'old Springers'), and a squadron of the 1st
Bombay Lancers, whose French grey uniforms, faced
with white, I hailed with a shout of joy as I rode
towards their videttes.
"On that day I had been exactly six years and
four months a prisoner!
"On hearing my story, the officers treated me
with every kindness and commiseration, and
while the Lancers departed on a vain search for
Ali Khan and his people, no time was lost in
having me transmitted to Bombay.
"I had been returned among the killed at
the battle of Maharajpore, and so circumstantial
were the details of my having been cut
down and dreadfully mangled by the Mahratta
swordsmen, that I had some trouble in proving
my own identity.
"The years of my captivity had seen many
changes, and thus I, who had gone out by the
Rangoon, Indiaman, round the Cape, and up the
Arabian Sea, came home by the overland route,
which was just being got into working order, but
we crossed the desert with a caravan. So eager
was I, that the six weeks of the homeward
journey, with its ever-changing scenes, seemed
interminable; and telegraph, or Indian cable, there
were none. I reached London well nigh destitute;
but burning with impatience for news of
Isabel and home, having counted more than ever
the hours since I was a free man.
"I attended the Commander-in-Chief's levee at
the Horse Guards, where my weird and wild, or
hunted aspect, excited considerable speculation
among the fashionably-dressed loungers in the
ante-room. He promised to look after me
promptly; but 'the Liberals were in office,' as
he told me, with a peculiar and inexplicable
smile: so my back pay was refused on the plea
that 'the country had lost my services for six
years and four months;' my progressive rank
also was declined, so that I, who had been well
up among the subalterns of my own corps at the
battle of Maharajpore, was now, when gazetted
anew, placed at the foot of twenty-four lieutenants
of the Royal Fusileers.
"My wife! They could tell me nothing
about her. 'Why?' I asked passionately.
"'Because my rank and services did not entitle
her to a pension;' so I turned on my heel with
mutiny in my heart, and on my lips a bitter
malison on 'the Liberals' who were in office.
"On my aunt, Lady Singleton, depended all
my hopes now; so I set out for Stoketon by the
first train from London.
"Already in the whirl of events my past
period of love, and my marriage with Isabel
Vane, had begun to seem but a tiny patch in the
chequered web of my existence; but it was a
spot so bright and fair, so pure and happy, that I
clung to the memory of it, as being well worth
ten times all my other years together.
"My heart and soul yearned for her, and as
the train bounded along the London and
North-Western line my mind went back to the day
when we set out from Stoketon on our joyous
wedding trip to Wales, and the affectionate
energy with which she insisted we were married
'for love and for life!' Would that gush of
affection fill our hearts again? or was it one of
those joys which have no renewal in this world of
change?
"As I approached Stoketon Moat, and saw the
dear old house with its clustered chimneys, its
quaint oriels and deeply-mullioned windows
shining in the sun, and half-hidden by dark-green
ivy, flowering clematis, and fragrant jasmine,
I lifted my hat, and inspired by the memory of
all the terrors and hardships I had undergone,
exclaimed in a low voice—
"'My God—I thank Thee for this day!'
"Is it blasphemy—oh, I hope not—to say that
I had little perhaps to be thankful for in having
escaped the perils of Maharajpore, and survived
my sufferings among the mountains of Tattah
and Beloochistan?
"The house was occupied by strangers, who
viewed me with coldness and mistrusted my
appearance of agitation.
"'Lady Singleton had died three years
ago—Mr. Vane's people they knew nothing about—had
never even heard of them,' I was informed
by a sleek and well fed butler, who was about to
close the door in my face—the door of the house
that was once my home.
"'Are any of Dr. Riversdale's family in the
neighbourhood?' I inquired anxiously.
"'Yes; the doctor has resided at his father's
house since the old gentleman died about a year
ago.'
"'Thanks,' said I, and turned wearily away,
and conscious that I was a source of vulgar
speculation to the menials of the strange family now
occupying what, as I have said, was once my home,
I passed down the old and well-known avenue to
issue out upon the highway that led to Warrington.
"Riversdale, I learned from the lodge-keeper,
had retired upon half-pay, and had now an
extensive practice in the neighbourhood. From
him, then, I should perhaps learn all, and a few
minutes' brisk walking brought me to his villa, a
handsome new house, embosomed among some
fine old trees.
"'Doctor Riversdale is always visiting his
patients at this hour,' the servant informed me;
'but Mrs. Riversdale is at home,' she added,
ushering me into a drawing-room, the splendour
of which seemed wondrous to me after my sojourn
among the sordid tents of Ali Khan.
"'I have no card,' said I, having omitted to
provide myself with such a luxury, or forgotten
all about such things, 'and the lady cannot know
me: but say an old brother officer of the doctor
is anxious to see her.'
"'Why did I become a soldier?' thought I,
while surveying the comforts of Riversdale's
home, and seeing his children. I had no doubt
they were his; two boys and a girl, fair-haired
little things, gambolling on the lawn in the
sunshine; and all the inclination for what Jean
Paul Richter calls 'cottage smoke and
sitting-still-comfort' came over me. Thus might mine
have been merry among the Stoketon woods!
Oh, the years I have lost—years of love and
joy with Isabel!
"Escaping from her brothers, the little girl
toddled through the drawing-room window,
which opened in the French fashion down to
the floor; and then impelled, I know not by
what secret impulse, I drew her towards me
and kissed her so tenderly on the forehead, that
she shrank back abashed and eyed me dubiously,
for I was tanned to almost negro blackness, had
a bushy beard, together with what must have
seemed to her the eyes of an ogre—the eyes of
one who for fully seven years, had been daily
face to face with Death!
"Just as the poor child shrunk from me, the
drawing-room door opened, and there entered a
lady who bowed with a well bred smile of inquiry
and paused, surveying me earnestly.
"Though more matronly in form, and a trifle
rounder perhaps, her face was still that of Isabel,
the girl I had left behind me. Womanly and
thoughtful, her eyes were as sparkling and
inquiring as of old, but animated by wonder
now and inexpressible tenderness (for my aspect
seemed so war-worn), till suddenly tears and
terror filled them as they gazed into mine. The
mouth, so exquisitely cut, was full and fine, till
it quivered and blanched, while the skin of her
delicate face was smooth as the lining of a white
and pink shell.
"'Isabel,' I exclaimed, and opened my arms;
but shrinking back, she uttered a wild cry of
anguish and despair, and sank on a sofa, half
fainting, and holding up her hands, deprecatingly,
between herself and me. 'Touch me not,' was
what her mute gesture seemed to say.
"I then perceived that she had two plain hoops
upon her wedding finger.
"Two?
"I dared not approach, but stood bewildered
as if rooted to the carpet, for now I saw it all—I
saw it all; and that a great and terrible grief
was about to come upon me!
"She was the wife of Robert Riversdale!
"We stood apart, she shrinking and I doubting.
Oh! was this the meeting—this the moment—for
which I had longed and yearned, and thirsted,
amid the protracted misery of the years that
were past? Gasping, she gazed at me, while she
did so, clutching wildly the cushions of the sofa;
and there was an expression of unutterable
bewilderment, of keen intensity, in her eyes.
"'Oh, merciful Heaven! Conyers Singleton,
can this be you?' she exclaimed, in a low
voice, like a wail.
"There was no embrace between us—no gladness,
but only intolerable fear in both our hearts;
we did not even shake hands, and she was my
wife!
"'Oh, Isabel, and is it so? while I, after all
those years that I have been a prisoner of war,
a hunted fugitive, a wretched Christian slave,
chained by the leg to a field-piece, among people
whose faces and voices were to me but as those
of wild animals—is it thus we meet and thus you
greet me?' I said, mournfully. 'Isabel, what
weariness of the world is in my heart—speak, or
I shall fall at your feet!'
"Indeed, the room seemed to whirl round me,
and I clung to the marble mantelpiece for
support.
"'You seem to have come back as it were
from the grave to reproach me; yet, oh, Conyers!
I have nothing to reproach myself with,' she
replied, speaking with great difficulty, while she
placed a hand upon her heart as if to stay its
wild beating, and a ghastly whiteness blanched
all her beautiful face. 'The misery of this
meeting is known only to—to God and me.'
"'And you have in my absence given to
another your heart, your affection, which I
deemed my own—for life, you once said?'
"'Reproach me not; all the world told me
you were dead. I read the Gazette myself, and
but too keenly remember, even at this hour, the
agony of that in which I saw your name as
among the killed. My hand, in time, was given
to another.'
"'To Riversdale?'
"'To Riversdale; but my heart never—never.
Oh, I shall go mad!' She began to speak wildly
and incoherently, and then added, 'In those
dear past days I loved you and you only—oh,
yes, I loved you then so dearly, so truly,
Conyers!'
"'And now, Isabel!'
"'I love you still, dearest Conyers, but that
love will turn my brain. My little child—our
little child, Conyers,' she added, with moving
pathos in her voice and eyes, 'was dead; Lyla
and Katie were about to be married. I had no
one to love, and no tie seemed to bind me to you,
but sad, sad memory. Oh, what shall I say? how
explain myself? A mother—a wife, and yet
no wife! Riversdale loved me before I saw
you, Conyers.'
"'Nay, not before your girlhood.'
"'Before your return from Ghuznee; but that
pleads nothing, I am aware, for I loved you then
and you only.'
"'And since, Isabel—since?'
"'Alas! do not question me—and yet you
must.'
"'Surely some little explanation is due to me?'
said I, with the forced calmness of settled despair.
'Oh that I had never returned from Ghuznee
or learned to love you; or would to God that
He had permitted me to perish at Maharajpore?'
"'I was lonely and helpless, Conyers—oh, so
lonely and helpless in my supposed widowhood,'
said she, making a great effort to speak, for
voice and sense seemed alike to be failing her.
'I respected the long-tried affection of Riversdale,
which had survived even my marriage with
you. He told me that he owed his life on that
fatal field to you. Oh, how I mourned for you
and how I loved your memory are known only to
myself and One with whom there can be no
secrets, and who knows all things! Could I
help myself? and now—now—NOW,' she
exclaimed, while casting her eyes despairingly to
Heaven, and striking her hands together, 'am I
to be torn from my children—his children, his
and mine—even from the little helpless baby in
its berceaunette!'
"'Not by me, Isabel,' said I, while on my
aching heart those piercing words fell like drops
of molten lead; 'not by me. I shall go forth
again to seek death more surely now, and cross
your path no more. One kiss—only one kiss—even
he could not refuse me that, and then
never again shall we meet on this side of the
grave.'
"We both sobbed bitterly as I took one brief
but passionate embrace. I laid her gently on the
sofa and rang the bell, because she had fainted.
Then I quitted the house of Riversdale never to
enter it again!
"To me it seemed that I must be in a dream
from which I should surely waken. The sun was
shining in all the glory of a summer noontide on
the green woodlands and greener meadows, but
I felt no warmth in its rays, and my teeth
chattered as I walked on, I knew not, cared not
whither. So ended this terrible meeting—this
interview of agony.
"I felt as one who was enveloped in the
horror of a great and sudden darkness—one who
had gone from the world itself, into the cold
shadow of death.
"I have but little more to tell you now.
Believing that I was dead, my aunt, Lady Singleton,
on the death of my infant boy, bequeathed
all she possessed to charitable institutions; and
I cared not to dispute her will, for a few months
after saw me again in India, and face to face
with the hard fighting Sikhs at Chillianwallah.
I strove hard to throw my life away; but it
seemed to be charmed now. I never received a
scratch, nor has bullet or blade been near me
since the day of Maharajpore.
"A few weeks after our victory over the
Sikhs, I read the death of Isabel in the Times,
and then I knew that my interview with her, and
the intolerable mental agony consequent to the
falsehood of her position, had destroyed her!
My poor Isabel!
"We were then on the march for Goojerat,
and none of my comrades knew why in that
battle, and for many a day long after it, the hilt
of my sword was covered with crape—the only
mourning in which I dared indulge, for the
miserable fate of the girl I had left behind me."