ALL ABOUT TIM DELANEY. HOW HE WINT COORTIN' WID HIS MASTHER, AND THE CONSEQUENCES.
BY SYLVANUS URBAN, THE YOUNGER.
"Wanst upon a time—an', sure, that's not so
long ago, afther all—there wor a grate fri'ndship
betune the familees of the Sullivans an' the
O'Briens; but, by raison of their livin' a long
ways apart, they niver sot eyes on ache other
for many's the year, though they kep' up the
ould good-will by writin' letthers back an' fore,
wid the shuperscupshins of, 'Yer humble sarvint
to command, Murtoch O'Brien ma bouchal,'
or, 'May the heavins be yer bed, an'
glory be wid ye, Dennis Sullivan a hagur!'
"Well, the years rowled by, an', in the mane
time, the sunshine lived foriver in the house of
Murtoch O'Brien, in the shape of a daughther
that bate the wureld for beauty; while Dinnis
Sullivan wor prouder of his son Maurice nor if
he had found all the goold mines of Californy,
wid all the jooels of the Aist Injees to the top
of 'em. Oh, faix, but ye may be sartin that the
ould min in their letthers gossipped about the
childher, an' that Misther O'Brien, bein' discinded
from the anshint kings of Munsther,
belaved his daughther Norah the aquil of any
princess in Eurip and Aishey, lettin' alone the
Turkeys and the Roosthers—Rooshins, I mane—an'
the Jarmans, an' the Frinch, an' all the
other haythens.
"Well, by coorse, by an' by, young Masther
Maurice an' the butyful Miss Norah wor conthracted
thegither by the ould people; though,
it's the thruth I'm sayin', nayther of the
youngsthers wor beknowin' to it at all, until
wan day, when Maurice wor near grown to be
a man, his fadher up an' tould him what he had
done. 'Well an' good!' sez Maurice, for he
wor a mighty purty behaved young jintleman;
an', wid that, he crasses over the salt say into
forrin parts, where he larned to ate frogs in
France, an' to sleep undher a feather bed in
Jarmany, wid his exthremities stickin' out. By
an' by, whin he had finished his eddicashin at
the Jarman Univarsity, by dhrillin' a hole wid
a small sword through the arum of wan Count
Dondher an' Blixum, an' by bein' mortially
wounded in his undher garmint hisself, Maurice
thravels back to the ould counthry. Oh, but
Dinnis Sullivan wor mighty plased to shake
hands wid his darlin' boy agin! an' he grown
so tall, an' sthrong, an' manly like.
"'Maurice, avourneen!' sez his fadher, tindherly,
'seein' 'tis of age ye are, an' may be I'll
not be wid ye long, sure it 'u'd be plasin' me to
see yeez marri'd at wanst to Norah O'Brien,'
sez he.
"'But how will I tell whether I'll like her or
no?' sez Maurice, dub'ously.
"'By raison that she's a hairess and a grate
beauty,' sez the ould jintleman.
"'Thim's good things in their way,' sez Maurice;
'but may be I'll be ruinashin'd, afther
all, wid the crooked timper.'
"'Make yerself parfaitly aisey on that score,
Maurice ma bouchal,' sez his fadher. 'Honey
isn't swater, nor butther safter.'
"'May be 'tis too saft she is,' sez Maurice.
"'Tare an' ounties!' sez the ould jintleman,
in a grate passion. 'What 'u'd yees like to
have, I'd be plased to know? Isn't Murtoch
O'Brien my ould fri'nd, an' wan I niver had a
quarrel wid in my life, batin' the bottle he
throw'd at my head at ould Thrinity, an' the
bullet I lodged in his side on the banks of the
Liffey one morn? Sure, afther that affeckshinate
raymonsthrance we wor betther fri'nds nor
iver we wor before.'
"Well, by this an' by that, seein' the ould jintleman
wor bint upon the match, Maurice consints
to ride over an' coort the young lady, purvided
he might take wid him his fostherer, wan
Tim Delaney. Sure I know'd him well, for he
wor own cousin to myself by the mudher's side,
an' he it wor as tould me this sthory.
"'Take him by all manes,' sez the ould jintleman.
'I've not the laste objeckshin. 'Tis
a dacent lad he is, an' a betther face or a n'ater
figure, barrin' yer own, Maurice dear, there's
not to be found in all the county. He desarves
to be put forrid in the wureld. He's not althegither
an' ignoraymus nayther,' sez he, 'for
Fadher Doran thried to bate the humanities into
him for the matther of two saisons; an', though
he butthers his mattymatticks wid poetical conthribushins,
an' peppers an' salts the larned
langwidges wid aljebrayickal calkilations, there's
a dale of larnin' in that head of his, av he only
understhood the manage of it.'
"So, wid that, Misther Maurice sed he wor
contint, an', sendin' his thrunk on afore him by
the faymale stage, he"——
"Stop! stop! Mulrooney! I was not aware
of any distinction between one stage and another.
Will you do me the favor to enlighten
me?"
"Arrah now," said Peter, boldly, "don't I
know the differ? Sure, if the coaches as carries
the letthers is the male stages, it stands to raison
thim as doesn't must be the faymales."
"Humph! Admirably defined! Well, go
on."
"An' thin—an' thin—och, wirrasthrue! but
I've lost the sthory complately an' enthirely,
by makin' a dickshunary of myself."
"Let me jog your memory, then. Maurice
sent his trunk on before"——
"That's it," said Peter, "by the faymale
stage, an' set out on horseback wid hisself an'
Tim, bright an' early the nixt morn, for Carrigathroid.
Well, they hadn't gone more nor a
few miles, afore little Micky Dunn, the stable
boy, comes tearin' down the road to say that the
masther had been takin' suddintly wid a fit of
the gout, an' that Misther Maurice must go back
an' attind the sale of Ned Ryan's place, as the
ould jintleman wanted it to square off the corner
of the upper farm.
"'Oh, musha, thin, but what'll I do?' sez
Maurice. ''Tis unlucky to turn back; an', besides,
my thrunk is gone on afore, wid all the
b'utyful clothes in it I brought from France an'
Jarmany.'
"'Faix, but that's bad!' sez Tim; 'an' I
misthrustin' Andy Shehan, the dhriver. May
be 'tis betther I'd thravel on afther him?'
"''Deed an' 'deed, I think so,' sez Maurice.
'An' take this kay along wid ye, Tim,' sez he,
'an' sarch if the things isn't spirited away, or
smashed up enthirely. An', Tim,' sez he,
'there's a letther of interjuckshin in the thrunk
which I want yees to deliver at wanst, for fear
the ould squireen'll be onaisey, as he expected
me the day. An', Tim,' sez he, lowerin' his
voice, 'I'll be plased if ye'll take it to Carrigathroid
yerself, an' see if Miss Norah is half so
purty an' good as fadher sez she is.'
"'Why wouldn't she be,' sez Tim, 'if the
masther sez so?'
"'Throth an' I dun 'no',' sez Maurice; 'but
I'd like to larn that aforehand from yer own
lips, Tim, avick.'
"'Faix, that's aisey enough, I does be thinkin','
sez Tim. 'You folly afther as quick as
ye can, Misther Maurice; an', in the mane
time,' sez he, 'I'll pay my respicts to the
family.'
"So, wid that, they took lave of one another,
an' Tim thravelled on to the town where the
young masther's thrunk wor left, a bit mile or
so from O'Brien's, of Carrigathroid.
"'Where's the thrunk as wor left here by
Andy Shehan?' sez he to the woman of the
stage-house.
"'Up stairs,' sez she, 'all safe an' sound.'
"'I'll see that,' sez he. An' up stairs he
goes an' opens the thrunk, an' looks over the
clo'es, an' the dimont pins, and the goold watch,
an' the chains an' rings galore; an', sure enough,
they wor all there nate an' nice, as Ally Bawn
said when the six childher fell into the saft of
the bog. Oh, murther, but now comes the
sthrangest part of the sthory. When Tim seen
the things forenent him, an' how b'utyful they
wor, he begins to wondher how he'd look in
thim; an' thin he looks at his own coorse
clothes, all plasthered and besmudthered over
wid the dirthy wather of the road.
"'How will I carry the masther's letther to
the big house, an' I lookin' for all the wureld
like a dirthy bogthrotter?' sez he. 'Sure I'd
be shamefaced to show myself in dacent company.
'Tis a mighty fine thing to be a jintleman,'
sez he, lookin' at the thrunk ag'in. 'Oh,
but thim's the grand coats, an' pantalloons, an'
goolden things,' sez he; 'sure, I thinks the
likes of 'em wor niver seed afore. May be,'
sez he, coagitatin' the matther—'may be Misther
Maurice wouldn't be onaisey if I loaned
thim of him for a bit while, ispishilly as it's his
sarvice that I'll be on. Sure, 'tis no harum to
thry if they fits me,' sez he. An', begorra,
afore he know'd it, he wor dhressed in thim
b'utyful garmints, an' lookin' grander nor iver
he did in his mortial life. Prisently, he flings
back the dure, an' discinds the stairs wid all the
goold chains a danglin' about his neck, an' wid
a fine goold watch fasthened by a raal dimont
pin to the breast of his flowery silk weskit:
'For,' sez he, 'sure they wouldn't know I had
sich purty things, if I didn't show thim.'
"'Oh, but it does my heart good to see sich a
han'some jintleman!' sez the misthress of the
house, makin' a low curchey. 'Didn't I know,'
sez she, 'yer honnor wor the raal quality the
minnit I seen the shine of yer face at the dure.
Indade, an' faix, it's the thruth I'm sayin', plase
goodness.'
"'Arrah, now, be done wid yer blarney,' sez
Tim, flourishin' a white han'kercher as wor
sthronger wid sint nor a flower-garden. 'Don't
conthaminate yer centhrifujals bu spakin' so
odoriferously,' sez he; 'but tell me, like the
dacent woman ye are, where'll I sarch for a
barber?'
"'That's aisey,' sez she; 'for sure there's
wan next dure to the corner.'
"So, wid that, out goes Tim, houldin' up his
pantaloons wid both hands to keep thim clane,
an' prisently he steps in at the barber's shop as
bould as a lord.
"'Barber!' sez he.
"'Sir,' sez a little thin-shanked man.
"'Shave me,' sez Tim, settin' hisself down in
the big chair, while the little man wor sthrappin'
away at the razhier. 'Aisey, my good
man,' sez Tim, 'an' cut the stubble clane.'
"'Oh, I'll do that same,' sez the barber. 'Be
du husht, av ye plase.' An', afore Tim could
say Larry Houlaghan, his beard wor off.
"'Barber,' sez Tim.
"'Sir,' sez the little man.
"'Frizzle my head,' sez Tim.
"An', widout any ghosther at all, the spry
little man pokes a long iron thing into the fire.
"'Oh, murther!' sez Tim. 'What's that?'
"'Thim's the curlin'-tongs,' sez the barber.
"'Oh,' sez the cunnin' Tim, turnin' up his
nose, 'thim's the ould time fashion. May be
ye niver seen the frizzlin' insthrument they use
in forrin parts?'
"'Sorra one have I seed, barrin' the masheen
in my hand,' sez the barber.
"''Tworn't to be expected of yees, in this
outlandish place,' sez Tim.
"'Hould still, if ye pl'ase,' sez the barber,
takin' a grip of his hair.
"'Ouch!' sez Tim. 'L'ave me go, will yees?
By japurs, but 'tis pullin' all my hair off ye
are!'
"''Tisn't likely I'd do that, wid my exparience,'
sez the little man. 'Sure, many's the
quality I've dhressed the heads of in my day.'
An', wid that, he saizes hould of another lock
of hair, an' gives it a grip and a twist.
"'Tundher an' turf!' sez Tim, startin' up in
a mighty big passion. 'Would ye burn my head
aff afore my eyes? 'Tisn't a stuck pig I am
that ye're singein' for bacon,' sez he.
"'Musha, thin, but that's thrue, anyhow,'
sez the barber. An' on he wint, frizzlin' first
one side and thin the other, till, by an' by, Tim's
head wor all over corkskrews, like a haythen
naygur's.
"'How will I look?' sez Tim, goin' to a
glass. 'Augh! millia! murther! 'Tisn't my
own face that I see yondher?'
"''Deed but it is,' sez the barber.
"'Oh, wirrasthrue!' sez Tim, wringin' his
hands. 'What'll I do? 'Tis ruinashin'd I
am, clane out an' inthirely! I'll be mistakin'
myself for a sthranger!'
"'Yea, thin,' sez the little man, 'there's no
denyin' but yees wondherfully improved in apparence.'
"'Botherashin!' sez Tim; 'but how will I
raycognize myself, I'd like to know?'
"Sure, but he had the throubled look whin he
mounted his horse; but, by the time he got to
Carrigathroid, his spirits came back agin, an' he
fasthens the baste to the swingin' bough of a
three, an' steps up to the dure an' knocks as
bould as Joolyus Saizer.
"'Hallo! House! Whoop!'
"'What's the matther, my good man?' sez a
sarvant, answerin' the dure.
"'Matther?' sez Tim. 'Plinty's the matther.
Here's a letther for Misther O'Brien, wid the
respicts of the owner.'
"'Yer name, sir, if ye pl'ase,' sez the man.
"'Tell him Misther Sullivan sint it,' sez Tim.
"'Oh!' sez the man, makin' a low bow.
'Obleege me by walkin' in; ye're expicted.'
"An', wid that, he marches on afore, Tim
followin' afther, an' flings open the dure of a
grand room all blazin' wid light, an' sings out—
"'Misther Sullivan!'
"'Oh, murther!' sez Tim to hisself. ''Tis
changed I am by that frizzlin' barbarian!'
"'Ah, my young fri'nd,' sez Misther O'Brien,
takin' him by the hand, ''tis pl'ased I am to see
ye the day! Let me presint ye to my daughther.
Norah, mavourneen, this is Misther Maurice
Sullivan.'
"'Och, the beauty of the wureld!' sez Tim,
quite flusthrated. 'Call me Delaney, av ye
pl'ase.'
"'Ah, I undherstand,' sez the ould squireen,
wid a smile. 'The Delaneys is yer relashins.'
"Troth, an' indade they are,' sez Tim.
"'Thim's good blood, I does be thinkin',' sez
the squireen.
"'Sorra betther to be found anywhere,' sez
Tim.
"'I beg yer pardin, 'tis standin' ye are the
while,' sez the ould jintleman. 'Will ye take a
sate on the ottimin?'
"'Sure, 'tisn't the grand Turkey ye mane?'
sez Tim, gettin' frikened.
"'Oh no,' sez the ould jintleman; ''tis the
fine flahool stool standin' forenenst ye.'
"'Ayeh!' sez Tim. 'The ould name's the
betther.'
"May be so,' sez the squireen, puttin' on his
specktickles, an' starin' at Tim as if he wor a
wild baste. An' sorry I am to tell ye that purty
Miss Norah likewise hadn't no betther manners,
but set starin' too at the bouchal wid her great
black eyes.
"'What's the matther?' sez Tim, as red as a
b'iled lobsther. 'Isn't it all right?'
"'How will I know?' sez the squireen.
"'Och! och!' sez Tim, 'why did I make a
"behay" of myself? Blessin's on yer darlin'
face!' sez he, turnin' to Miss Norah; 'an' may
goodness purtect ye! an' the daisies grow up under
yer purty feet! an' may all the fairies in
Ireland bring good luck to ye, an' a dale of it!
But oh, be pl'ased to take pity on a poor boy as
is quite dumbfounder'd at yer b'utyful countenance,
and burnt into ashes by the blaze from
yer eyes! An' now don't be afther colloguing
wid the ould man that a way, an' I kep' in the
dark, like Shaun Dooley, the blind fiddler.'
"'Indade, an' in throth, 'tis very mystharious,'
sez Miss Norah, whisperin' to the fadher.
''Tisn't the first ha'porth of manners the crayther
has. Sure I am I'll not like him, any way.'
"'L'ave him to me,' sez the ould man. 'May
be he's betther nor he seems. Get ye gone,
acushla, an' ordher Michael to bring up a pitcher
of st'amin' hot potheen; that's the raal stuff to
bring out a man's charackther. Misther Sullivan,'
sez he, as the daughther disapp'ared—'Misther
Sullivan'——
"'Delaney, av ye pl'ase,' sez Tim.
"'I beg yer pardin, Misther Delaney Sullivan.
May I be so bould, an' m'anin' no offince, as to
be axin' ye what makes ye carry all thim goold
chains, an' the han'some goold watch, an' the
dimont pin, in sich a sthrange way?'
"'Oh,' sez Tim, mightily relaved, an' pokin'
the ould man for fun undher the fifth rib, ''tis
there ye are! Sure, 'tis raisonable,' sez he, 'a
young jintleman should folly the fashi'ns.'
"'Oh,' sez the squireen, 'an' thim's the
fashi'ns, is they?'
"'What 'u'd they be good for, if they worn't?'
sez Tim.
"'Faix, nothin' at all, I b'lieve,' sez the
squireen. 'Whin did ye l'ave home, Misther
Sullivan?' sez he.
"'Delaney, av ye pl'ase.'
"'Blur an' agars!' sez the ould man, 'don't I
know that, Misther Delaney Sullivan?'
"'Well,' sez Tim to hisself, ''tis no matther.
Any way, I'll be kilt an' transported, whin
Masther Maurice comes. Sure, if he will parsist
in callin' me Sullivan, 'tisn't good manners
to conthradict him.'
"'An' how did ye l'ave the family?' sez the
squireen.
"'Well an' hearty,' sez Tim; 'wid no sarious
disordher, barrin' the loss of a suckin' pig wid the
maisles.'
"'A suckin' pig in the family!' sez the ould
man. 'A suckin' pig, did ye say? Sure, thim's
not human.'
"'Och! what'll I be sayin' wid the grate
blisther on my tongue? Sure, tworn't any pig
at all, at all. 'Twas the babby wid the shmallpox.'
"'The shmallpox!' shrieks the squireen.
'Oh, be aff wid ye! Don't come a near me!
I'm frikened to death a'ready!'
"'Millia murther!' sez Tim. 'I'll be beside
myself prisintly. I don't mane the shmallpox,
nor the childher. Where 'u'd they come from,
I'd like to know? But the docther—no, I
don't mane that—the masther—no, not the masther—the
weeny. Arrah, botherashin to me,
I'd be obleeged to ye if ye'd tell me what I
mane; for, 'deed an' 'deed, the beauty of the
young lady has put the comether on my sinses
enthirely!'
"'Faix, I b'lieve so,' sez the squireen. 'But
here comes the potheen,' sez he; 'an' 'tis the
sovre'nst thing in the wureld for a crooked
tongue.'
"'Mostha, but it's the raal stuff, too!' sez
Tim, takin' a long pull at the noggin, an' smackin'
his lips.
"'An' so ye left the ould folk quite well?'
sez the squireen.
"'Brave an' hearty,' sez Tim. 'The ould
man wor br'akin' stones to mend the pike wid,
an' the ould mother wor knittin' new heels to
an ould pair of Connemara stockin's.'
"'I'm t'undhersthruck!' sez Misther O'Brien.
To think that the blood of the Sullivans should
demane thimselves by br'akin' stones for a road
an' patchin' stockin's!'
"'Thim's figgers of spache,' sez Tim. 'Sure,
I mane shuperintindin' of thim.'
"'Throth, it's hard to tell what ye mane,
Misther Delaney Sullivan,' sez the squireen.
'A young jintleman as is college-bred shouldn't
condiscend to quare figgers the likes o' thim.
An' now I'll be pl'ased to have a taste of yer
larnin'.'
"'Sure, it 'u'd nayther be dacent, nor proper,
nor expadient, in one of my birth an' breedin',
to show off my parts upon a jintleman of your
wondherful sagashity. The natheral modesty
that is the predominatin' trait in my charackther
won't let me. Thim as is my aquils has acknowledged
my shupariority; an' the masther hisself
couldn't folly me in the langwidges, an' the humanities,
an' in single an' double fluckshins, to
say nothing of my extinsive ackwiremints in
algebrayickal mattymattocks, an' the other parts
of profane histhory of a similar cognashus charackther.'
"'Spake plainer,' sez the squireen, 'for ye
does be puzzlin' me wid the hard words as seems
to have no sinse in 'em.'
"'I'd be bothered to find it if they did,' sez
Tim, slyly, to hisself. But he sez to the squireen,
sez he, 'How will I diffinitively expurgate the
profound m'anin' of the anshint frelosophers
widout smudherin' ye wid the classicalities?
Isn't it the big words as makes the l'arnin'?
Axin' yer pardin, Misther O'Brien, but 'tis well
beknownst to a jintleman of your exthraordinary
mintal an' quizzical fackilties that the consthruction
of the words consthitutes the differ of langwidges,
of which pothooks an' hangers is the
ilimints.'
"'Bedad, but there's some thruth in that,'
sez the squireen, 'barrin' the manner of expressin'
it.'
"'Arrah, thin,' sez Tim, 'I'm pl'ased to hear
ye say so; an', if it's agreeable to yees, we'll
dhrop the discourse for the prisint. To tell ye
the blessed thruth, Misther O'Brien, 'tis dead
bate wid the long thravel I am, an', wid your
permission, I'll be bould to throuble yer sarvint
to fling me a clane lock o' sthraw in one corner
of yer honor's kitchen for the night.'
"Oh, but may be the ould squireen didn't
stare at Tim wid all his eyes in raal arnest,
thin—
"'Sthraw!' sez he. 'Do ye take this for a
boccoch's shealin'? Well, I must say, Misther
Delaney Sullivan,' sez he, 'that, for a jintleman's
son, born an' brid, 'tis monsthrous quare
ways ye have.' An', wid that, he rings for the
futman, an' tells him to show Tim to bed. 'I'll
be wantin', Misther Sullivan, to spake the sarious
word wid ye the morrow morn,' sez the ould
man, dhrawin' hisself up grand like; 'for, on
my conscience, there's many things about ye as
does be puzzlin' me exthramely.'
"''Tis no matther,' sez Tim to hisself, follyin'
afther the sarvint. 'Sure, I'm in for it now,
anyhow. Ayeh! is thim the stairs? Musha,
thin, but 'tis wide enough they are for a drove
of fat cattle. Hould on a bit, will ye, or I'll be
fallin' over the ballisthers. I wonder where
thim crass passiges lades too beyant? Sure, I'd
give all I'll be like to have in the wureld to
quit the place. Och, Tim Delaney, 'tis a bad
ind ye're comin' to wid settin' yerself up for a
jintleman; an', begorra, if the young masther
murdhers ye enthirely, it sarves ye right, any
way, an' that's no lie.'
"'Will ye be pl'ased to inter?' sez the sarvint,
throwin' open the dure of a big room,
where the windys wor all ornaminted wid b'utyful
curt'ins, an' likewise the grate bed wid goold
angels at the corners of the posts, lettin' alone
the fringes an' the tassels, an' many other b'utyful
things too tadious to mintion.
"'Och,' sez Tim, 'is that my bid? How will
I git in widout tumblin' myself on the flure?
Thim steps, did ye mane? Arrah, now, have
done wid yer nonsince! Sure, I niver heard of
goin' to bid wid a step-laddher afore.'
"'Thim's the fashi'n,' sez the futman.
"'To the divil wid the fashi'n!' sez Tim.
'What are ye laughin' at, ye ugly spalpeen?
L'ave the light, an' go. Oh, murther!' sez Tim,
whin he was all alone by hisself. 'If I wor out
of this scrape, a thousand goold guineas wouldn't
timpt me to do the likes agin.'
"An', wid that, he sarches the windys, manein'
to make his escape, but they wor too high;
an' thin he opens the dure saftly an' looks into
the passiges, but they twisted all about, so he
didn't dare to thry thim for fear they would be
afther takin' him for a robber; so, wid many
muttherin's an' moanin's, he lays hisself down
on the bid wid all his clothes on, an', by an' by,
falls into a throubled sleep.
"Well, all this time, ye may be sure young
Masther Maurice wor not lettin' the grass grow
undher his feet. So, whin he had bought the
land, he takes a fresh baste an' hurries afther
Tim. By hard ridin' he got to the town late
that same night; an', whin he l'arned that Tim
wor gone up to Carrigathroid all cock-a-hoop
in his own fine clo'es an' jooels, he flies into a
tearin' passion, and makes bould to ride over at
wanst. As it happened, the squireen an' Miss
Norah wor still up, for the raal genteels do kape
mighty late hours; and so it worn't long afore
he makes hisself beknownst to the ould jintleman
an' his daughther, an' up an' tells 'em his
sthory. Oh, but thin they all laughed more nor
iver they did in their born days afore; more by
token that the squireen wor glad to have a disilushin
of the mysthery, an' Miss Norah bein'
aiquilly pl'ased to find the thrue Masther Maurice
wid the best quality manners, an', at the
same time, so mortial han'some.
"'An' now,' sez Maurice, 'what'll I do wid
that rogue of a Tim?'
"'L'ave him to me,' sez the squireen, wid a
knowin' wink. 'Myself bein' a justus-o'-p'ace,
a good frikenin' 'll be of sarvice to the saucy
Omadhaun. But we'll say no more till the
morn,' sez he; 'an', in the mane time, we'll
thry an' find ye a supper an' a bed.'
"Well, to be sure, bright an' airly, while Tim
wor tossin' an' tumblin' about in his fine flahool
bid, an' dhramin' of witches, an' spooks, an'
leprawhauns, an' even of the ould bouchal hisself,
there's comes a t'undherin' whack at his
dure; an', prisintly, in walks four sthrappin'
fellows right to his bedside.
"'What's wantin'?' sez Tim, settin' boult
up, wid his curly hair all untwistin' itself an'
standin' on end like a porkepine's. 'Is it lookin'
for me ye are?'
"'Troth, but ye're a quick hand at guessin','
sez the biggest man. 'Where's yer masther, ye
thafe of the wureld? Tell me that.'
"'Oh, murther!' sez Tim. 'It's all out!'
"'Sure, he confisses it a'ready,' sez another.
'Bring him along, Tony.'
"'Confisses what?' sez Tim, wid his face as
white as the bed-hangin's. 'Confisses what?
Spake out, will ye?'
"'The murther!' sez Tony. 'Isn't thim his
clo'es ye're wearin' now?'
"'Murther? Och! ochone! ochone!' sez
Tim, wringin' his hands. 'That I iver lived to
see this day! An' is the young masther dead?
Why, thin, upon my oath an' my conscience, I
niver had a hand in it! Sure, 'tis well the
darlin' knowed I'd lay down my life for him.
Oh, jintlemen, take pity on a poor innocent boy
that's in the black throuble, an' all bekase he
put on the young masther's things for a bit of
spoort!'
"'An' a purty spoort ye'll find it,' sez the
futman, for be sure he wor one of thim. 'But
here comes Misther O'Brien.'
"'Stand aside, all of yees, an' let me look at
the thraitor!' sez the squireen, burstin' into the
room. 'Oh, 'tis there ye are, ye villin, wid yer
mattymattox an' yer single an' double fluxshins.
Saize him, men, wid a sthrong grip, an' bring
him to the hall. 'Tis well myself's a magisther,
an' can set upon the case at wanst.'
"'Oh, Misther O'Brien,' sez Tim, dhroppin'
on his knees, ''tis innocent I am the day! I'll
tell ye about it. You see, the young masther an'
I'——
"'Isn't thim his clo'es?" sez the squireen.
"'Ayeh, but that's thrue. Let me tell ye,
an' hear r'ason. The young masther an' I'——
"'Kape yer sthories to yerself,' sez the
squireen, puttin' on a black frown. 'Why
would I listen to yer diabolickle invintions whin
thim things is witness agin ye? Hould him
fast, boys, an' off wid him. May be I won't
live to hang him, afther all.'
"'Help! help! murther!' sez Tim, sthrugglin'
wid all the power that wor in him. 'I
didn't do it! It's clane hands I have! I won't
be murthered! L'ave me go, I say! What 'u'd
ye hang a poor innocent for? Murther! murther!'
"All at wanst, as he wor skreekin' and kickin',
who should walk in from behind the dure
but Misther Maurice an' Miss Norah.
"'Whoop! whoroo!' sez Tim. 'There's
the young masther now! Hands off wid ye!
Don't ye see him wid Miss Norah?'
"'Hould on a minnit, men,' sez the squireen.
'May be 'tis a mistake, afther all. Is that
young jintleman Misther Sullivan?'
"'Oh, to be sure it is,' sez Tim. 'Who else
'u'd it be, I'd like to know? Misther Maurice!
Maurice, achorra, spake to thim, av ye pl'ase,
an' tell thim it's yerself that I see.'
"'Why will I do that?' sez the young jintleman,
laughin'. 'Sure, 'twould be wastin' my
breath, an' they knowin' it a'ready.'
"'Oh, murther! see that now!' sez Tim.
'An' they a frikenin' me out of my siven sinses
all the while. Ayeh! Maurice a vick, but I
forgive ye the bad thrick yees played me the
day.'
"'Musha, thin, an' thank ye for nothin',' sez
Maurice; 'for I does be thinkin' that 'tis yerself,
Tim, as is to blame, seein' the fine clo'es on
yer back.'
"'Yea, thin,' sez the squireen, burstin' into a
great laugh, ''twore hisself, sure enough, as played
the bould thrick, an' bothered me all out wid
his single an' his double fluxshins; but, bedad,
if the thrick wor in his hands last night, sure
he'll confiss I trumped it dacently this mornin'.'"
BY H. H., M. D.
Oh, love! What is love? 'Tis a tender vine,
Amid shadow and sunshine growing;
In the soft summer hours will its tendrils twine,
To cling when the wild winds are blowing.
Though through calm sunny days it will put forth its bloom,
It is greenest when tears are flowing;
And it climbeth—how mournfully!—oft o'er the tomb,
Gray shadows around it throwing.
The germs its fresh blossoms fling forth to the air
Are wafted, on white wings, to heaven;
Here though it may wither, yet, evergreen there,
A crown unto angels 'tis given!
Then tend it most gently. Though care bids it grow,
And it ever roots deepest in sorrow,
Yet the love that to-day smiles o'er dreariest woe,
Neglected, may wither to-morrow.