June 18th.—Memorable day! Some time before
daybreak the bombardier who had been despatched
to Langeveldt returned with a supply of
ammunition. He reported that he had been much
impeded by the confusion on the road, which was
everywhere crowded with waggons, &c. Many
he had seen overturned, and many plundered, or
being plundered; but his account by no means
justified those who stated the road to be blocked
up in such a manner as to be impassable. Indeed,
considering all things, he had performed his
journey in sufficiently reasonable time.
With the providence of an old soldier, he had
picked up and brought on a considerable quantity
of beef, biscuit, and oatmeal, of which there was
abundance scattered about everywhere. Casks of
rum, &c., there were, and having broached one of
these—he and his drivers—every one filled his
canteen—a most considerate act, and one for
which the whole troop was sincerely thankful.
Nor must I omit to remark that, amidst such
temptations, his men had behaved with the
most perfect regularity, and returned to us
quite sober!
The rum was divided on the spot; and surely
if ardent spirits are ever beneficial, it must be
to men situated as ours were; it therefore came
most providentially. The oatmeal was converted
speedily into stirabout, and afforded our people a
hearty meal, after which all hands set to work to
prepare the beef, make soup, &c. Unfortunately,
we preferred waiting for this, and passed the stirabout,
by which piece of folly we were doomed
to a very protracted fast, as will be seen. Whilst
our soup was cooking, it being now broad daylight,
I mounted my horse to reconnoitre our
situation. During the night another troop (I
think Major Ramsay’s) had established itself in
our orchard, and just outside the hedge I found
Major Bean’s, which had also arrived during the
night, direct from England. Ascending from the
farm towards the ground we had left yesterday
evening, the face of the slope, as far as I could see,
to the right and left, was covered with troops en
bivouac—here, I think, principally cavalry. Of
these some were cleaning their arms, some cooking,
some sitting round fires smoking, and a few,
generally officers, walking about, or standing in
groups conversing. Many of the latter eagerly
inquired where I was going, and appeared very
anxious for intelligence, all expecting nothing less
than to recommence our retreat. I continued on
to the position we had occupied last, and thence
clearly saw the French army on the opposite hill,
where everything appeared perfectly quiet—people
moving about individually, and no formation
whatever. Their advanced-posts and vedettes in
the valley, just beyond La Haye Sainte, were also
quiet. Having satisfied my curiosity, I returned
the way I came, communicating my observations
to the many eager inquirers I met with. Various
were the speculations in consequence. Some
thought the French were afraid to attack us,
others that they would do so soon, others that the
Duke would not wait for it, others that he would,
as he certainly would not allow them to go to
Brussels; and so they went on speculating, whilst
I returned to my people. Here, finding the mess
not yet ready, and nothing to be done, I strolled
into the garden of the farm, where several Life
Guardsmen were very busy digging potatoes—a
fortunate discovery, which I determined to profit
by. Therefore calling up some of my men, to work
we went without loss of time.
Whilst thus employed, I noticed a very heavy
firing going on in front, but this did not make us
quit our work. Shortly after, to my great astonishment,
I observed that all the bivouacs on the
hillside were deserted, and that even Ramsay’s
troop had left the orchard without my being
aware of it, and my own was left quite alone, not
a soul being visible from where I stood in any
direction, the ground they had quitted presenting
one unbroken muddy solitude. The firing became
heavier and heavier. Alarmed at being thus left
alone, when it was evident something serious was
going on, I hastened back and ordered the horses
to be put to immediately.
Away went our mess untasted. One of the
servants was desired to hang the kettle with its
contents under an ammunition-waggon. The stupid
fellow hung the kettle as desired, but first emptied
it. Without orders, and all alone, the battle (for
now there was no mistaking it) going on at the
other side of the hill, I remained for a few minutes
undecided what to do. It appeared to me
we had been forgotten. All, except only ourselves,
were evidently engaged; and labouring
under this delusion, I thought we had better get
into the affair at once. As soon, therefore, as the
troop was ready, I led them up the hill on the
highroad, hoping to meet some one who could
give me directions what to do. We had not proceeded
a hundred yards, when an artillery officer
came furiously galloping down towards us. It
was Major M‘Lloyd, in a dreadful state of agitation—such,
indeed, that he could hardly answer
my questions. I learned, however, that the battle
was very serious and bloody. Their first attack
had been on that part of our position where his
battery stood; but now the principal efforts were
making against our right. All this was told
in so hurried and anxious a manner, that one
could hardly understand him. “But where are
you going?” he added. I told him my plan.
“Have you no orders?” “None whatever; I
have not seen a soul.” “Then, for God’s sake,
come and assist me, or I shall be ruined. My
brigade is cut to pieces, ammunition expended,
and, unless reinforced, we shall be destroyed.” He
was dreadfully agitated, and when I took his
hand and promised to be with him directly,
seemed transported with joy; so, bidding me
make haste, he darted up the hill again, and went
to receive that death-stroke which, ere long, was
to terminate his earthly career. I trust before
that termination he heard the reason why I never
fulfilled that promise; for weeks elapsed ere he
died, no doubt—otherwise he must have set me
down for a base poltroon. My destiny led me
elsewhere. My tutelary spirit was at hand: the
eternal Major M‘Donald made his appearance,
and, giving me a sharp reprimand for having
quitted my bivouac, desired me instantly to return
to the foot of the hill, and there wait for orders.
Sulkily and slowly we descended, and forming in
line on the ground opposite the farm of Mont St
Jean, with our left to the road, I dismounted the
men that they might be a little less liable to be
hit by shot and shells which, coming over the
hill, were continually plunging into the muddy
soil all around us. This was a peculiarly dismal
situation—without honour or glory, to be knocked
on the head in such a solitude, for not a living
being was in sight.
It was while thus standing idle that a fine tall
upright old gentleman, in plain clothes, followed
by two young ones, came across our front at a
gallop from the Brussels road, and continued on
towards where we supposed the right of our army
to be. I certainly stared at seeing three unarmed
civilians pressing forward into so hot a fight.
These were the Duke of Richmond and his two
sons. How long we had been in this position, I
know not, when at length we were relieved from
it by our adjutant (Lieutenant Bell), who brought
orders for our removal to the right of the second
line. Moving, therefore, to our right, along the
hollow, we soon began a very gentle ascent, and
at the same time became aware of several corps
of infantry, which had not been very far from us,
but remained invisible, as they were all lying
down. Although in this move we may be said
to have been always under a heavy fire, from the
number of missiles flying over us, yet were we
still so fortunate as to arrive in our new position
without losing man or horse. In point of seeing,
our situation was much improved; but for danger
and inactivity, it was much worse, since we were
now fired directly at, and positively ordered not
to return the compliment—the object in bringing
us here being to watch a most formidable-looking
line of lancers drawn up opposite to us, and threatening
the right flank of our army. A scientific relation
of this great struggle, on which the fate of
Europe hinged, I pretend not to write. I write
neither history, nor ‘Mémoires pour servir à l’Histoire,’
&c. &c., but only pure simple gossip for my
own amusement—just what happened to me and
mine, and what I did see happen to others about me.
Depend upon it, he who pretends to give a general
account of a great battle from his own observation
deceives you—believe him not. He can
see no further (that is, if he be personally engaged
in it) than the length of his nose; and how is he
to tell what is passing two or three miles off, with
hills and trees and buildings intervening, and all
enveloped in smoke? Busaco might have been
tolerably described, but there are no Busacos in
the Pays Bas. The back of the principal ridge on
which our army was posted descended by a pretty
regular slope in the direction of Waterloo, and
but just in rear of its right another shorter and
lower ridge ran a little way almost parallel to it.
The highroad to Nivelle passed along the hollow
between the two. Both ridges terminated in a
ravine that enclosed our right flank, running
down from the Château de Hougoumont (although
it be pretended now that the name is
“Goumont,” I persist in the orthography which is
found in all the old maps of this department) in
the direction of Merke Braine; in short, a contracted
continuation of the greater valley lying
between the two armies and nearly at right angles
to it.
The sides of this ravine (much steeper than
any other ground near), as far as I can recollect,
were partially covered with bushes; and, from the
summit of the one opposite to us, the ground
ascended by a very gradual slope for about 800
or 1000 yards; and there, on what appeared as the
height of the land, there were several small clumps
of wood. This slope itself was still covered with
fine crops of standing corn. The crest was occupied
by the long line of lancers already spoken of,
whose movements I was ordered to watch, but on
no account to interfere with, unless they attempted
to pass the ravine.[17] Such was our front view.
To the right we looked over a fine open country,
covered with crops and interspersed with
thickets or small woods. There all was peaceful
and smiling, not a living soul being in sight.
To our left, the main ridge terminated rather
abruptly just over Hougoumont, the back of it
towards us being broken ground, with a few old
trees on it just where the Nivelle road descended
between high banks into the ravine. Thus we
were formed en potence with the 1st line, from
which we (my battery) were separated by some
hundred yards. In our rear the 14th Regiment
of infantry (in square, I think) lay on the ground.
In our front were some light dragoons of the
German Legion, who from time to time detached
small parties across the ravine. These pushed
cautiously up the slope towards the line of lancers
to reconnoitre. The corn, down to the edge of
the ravine nearer the Nivelle road and beyond it,
was full of French riflemen; and these were
warmly attacked by others[18] from our side of the
ravine, whom we saw crossing and gradually
working their way up through the high corn, the
French as gradually retiring. On the right of
the lancers, two or three batteries kept up a continued
fire at our position; but their shot, which
could have been only 4-pounders, fell short—many
not even reaching across the ravine. Some, however,
did reach their destination; and we were particularly
plagued by their howitzer shells with
long fuses, which were continually falling about
us, and lay spitting and sputtering several seconds
before they exploded, to the no small annoyance of
man and horse. Still, however, nobody was hurt;
but a round-shot, striking the ammunition-boxes
on the body of one of our waggons, penetrated
through both and lodged in the back of the rear
one, with nearly half its surface to be seen from
without—a singular circumstance! In addition
to this front fire, we were exposed to another on
our left flank—the shot that passed over the main
ridge terminating their career with us. Having
little to occupy us here, we had ample leisure to
observe what was passing there. We could see
some corps at the end near us in squares—dark
masses, having guns between them, relieved from
a background of grey smoke, which seemed to
fill the valley beyond, and rose high in the air
above the hill. Every now and then torrents of
French cavalry of all arms came sweeping over
the ridge, as if carrying all before them. But,
after their passage, the squares were still to be seen
in the same places; and these gentry, who we
feared would next fall on us, would evaporate,
nobody could well say how. The firing still increased
in intensity, so that we were at a loss to
conjecture what all this could mean.
About this time, being impatient of standing
idle, and annoyed by the batteries on the Nivelle
road, I ventured to commit a folly, for which I
should have paid dearly had our Duke chanced
to be in our part of the field. I ventured to disobey
orders, and open a slow deliberate fire at
the battery, thinking with my 9-pounders soon to
silence his 4-pounders. My astonishment was
great, however, when our very first gun was responded
to by at least half-a-dozen gentlemen
of very superior calibre, whose presence I had
not even suspected, and whose superiority we
immediately recognised by their rushing noise
and long reach, for they flew far beyond us. I
instantly saw my folly, and ceased firing, and
they did the same—the 4-pounders alone continuing
the cannonade as before. But this was
not all. The first man of my troop touched was
by one of these confounded long shot. I shall
never forget the scream the poor lad gave when
struck. It was one of the last they fired, and
shattered his left arm to pieces as he stood between
the waggons. That scream went to my
very soul, for I accused myself as having caused
his misfortune. I was, however, obliged to conceal
my emotion from the men, who had turned
to look at him; so, bidding them “stand to their
front,” I continued my walk up and down, whilst
Hitchins ran to his assistance.
Amidst such stirring scenes, emotions of this
kind are but of short duration; what occurred
immediately afterwards completely banished Gunner
Hunt from my recollection. As a counterbalance
to this tragical event, our firing produced
one so comic as to excite all our risibility. Two
or three officers had lounged up to our guns to
see the effect. One of them was a medico, and
he (a shower having just come on) carried an
umbrella overhead. No sooner did the heavy
answers begin to arrive amongst us than these
gentlemen, fancying they should be safer with their
own corps, although only a few yards in the rear,
scampered off in double-quick, doctor and all, he
still carrying his umbrella aloft. Scarcely, however,
had he made two paces when a shot, as he
thought, passing rather too close, down he dropped
on his hands and knees—or, I should rather say,
hand and knees, for the one was employed in
holding the silken cover most pertinaciously over
him—and away he scrambled like a great baboon,
his head turned fearfully over his shoulder, as if
watching the coming shot, whilst our fellows
made the field resound with their shouts and
laughter.
I think I have already mentioned that it was
not until some days afterwards that I was able
to resume my regular journal, consequently that
everything relative to these three days is written
from memory. In trying to recollect scenes of
this nature, some little confusion is inevitable;
and here I confess myself somewhat puzzled to
account for certain facts of which I am positive.
For instance, I remember perfectly Captain Bolton’s
brigade of 9-pounders being stationed to the
left of us, somewhat in advance, and facing as we
did, consequently not far from the Nivelle road.
Bolton came and conversed with me some time,
and was called hastily away by his battery commencing
a heavy fire. Query—Who, and what,
was he firing at? That he was himself under a
heavy fire there is equally no doubt, for whilst
we were not losing a man, we saw many, both of
his men and horses, fall, and but a few minutes
after leaving me, he was killed himself—this is a
puzzle. I have no recollection of any troops
attempting to cross the ravine, and yet his fire
was in that direction, and I think must have
been toward the Nivelle road. A distressing circumstance
connected with this (shall I confess it?)
made even more impression on my spirits than
the misfortune of Gunner Hunt. Bolton’s people
had not been long engaged when we saw the men
of the gun next to us unharness one of the horses
and chase it away, wounded, I supposed; yet the
beast stood and moved with firmness, going from
one carriage to the other, whence I noticed he
was always eagerly driven away. At last two or
three gunners drove him before them to a considerable
distance, and then returned to their
guns. I took little notice of this at the time,
and was surprised by an exclamation of horror
from some of my people in the rear. A sickening
sensation came over me, mixed with a deep
feeling of pity, when within a few paces of me
stood the poor horse in question, side by side
with the leaders of one of our ammunition-waggons,
against which he pressed his panting
sides, as though eager to identify himself as of
their society—the driver, with horror depicted on
every feature, endeavouring by words and gestures
(for the kind-hearted lad could not strike)
to drive from him so hideous a spectacle. A
cannon-shot had completely carried away the
lower part of the animal’s head, immediately
below the eyes. Still he lived, and seemed fully
conscious of all around, whilst his full, clear eye
seemed to implore us not to chase him from his
companions. I ordered the farrier (Price) to put
him out of misery, which, in a few minutes, he
reported having accomplished, by running his
sabre into the animal’s heart. Even he evinced
feeling on this occasion. Meantime the roar of
cannon and musketry in the main position never
slackened; it was intense, as was the smoke arising
from it. Amidst this, from time to time, was to be
seen still more dense columns of smoke rising
straight into the air like a great pillar, then
spreading out a mushroom-head. These arose
from the explosions of ammunition-waggons,
which were continually taking place, although
the noise which filled the whole atmosphere was
too overpowering to allow them to be heard.
Amongst the multitudes of French cavalry
continually pouring over the front ridge, one
corps came sweeping down the slope entire, and
was directing its course straight for us, when
suddenly a regiment of light dragoons (I believe
of the German Legion) came up from the ravine
at a brisk trot on their flank. The French had
barely time to wheel up to the left and push their
horses into a gallop, when the two bodies came in
collision. They were at a very short distance from
us, so that we saw the charge perfectly. There
was no check, no hesitation, on either side; both
parties seemed to dash on in a most reckless
manner, and we fully expected to have seen a
horrid crash—no such thing! Each, as if by
mutual consent, opened their files on coming
near, and passed rapidly through each other,
cutting and pointing, much in the same manner
one might pass the fingers of the right hand
through those of the left. We saw but few fall.
The two corps re-formed afterwards, and in a
twinkling both disappeared, I know not how or
where. It might have been about two o’clock
when Colonel Gould, R.A., came to me, perhaps
a little later. Be that as it may, we were conversing
on the subject of our situation, which
appeared to him rather desperate. He remarked
that in the event of a retreat, there was but one
road, which no doubt would be instantly choked
up, and asked my opinion. My answer was, “It
does indeed look very bad; but I trust in the
Duke, who, I am sure, will get us out of it somehow
or other.” Meantime gloomy reflections
arose in my mind, for though I did not choose to
betray myself (as we spoke before the men), yet
I could not help thinking that our affairs were
rather desperate, and that some unfortunate catastrophe
was at hand. In this case I made up
my mind to spike my guns and retreat over the
fields, draught-horses and all, in the best manner
I could, steering well from the highroad and
general line of retreat.
We were still talking on this subject, when
suddenly a dark mass of cavalry appeared for an
instant on the main ridge, and then came sweeping
down the slope in swarms, reminding me of
an enormous surf bursting over the prostrate hull
of a stranded vessel, and then running, hissing
and foaming, up the beach. The hollow space
became in a twinkling covered with horsemen,
crossing, turning, and riding about in all directions,
apparently without any object. Sometimes
they came pretty near us, then would retire a
little. There were lancers amongst them, hussars,
and dragoons—it was a complete mêlée.
On the main ridge no squares were to be seen;
the only objects were a few guns standing in a
confused manner, with muzzles in the air, and
not one artilleryman. After caracoling about for
a few minutes, the crowd began to separate and
draw together in small bodies, which continually
increased; and now we really apprehended being
overwhelmed, as the first line had apparently
been. For a moment an awful silence pervaded
that part of the position to which we anxiously
turned our eyes. “I fear all is over,” said Colonel
Gould, who still remained by me. The thing
seemed but too likely, and this time I could not
withhold my assent to his remark, for it did indeed
appear so. Meantime the 14th, springing from
the earth, had formed their square, whilst we,
throwing back the guns of our right and left
divisions, stood waiting in momentary expectation
of being enveloped and attacked. Still they
lingered in the hollow, when suddenly loud and
repeated shouts (not English hurrahs) drew our
attention to the other side. There we saw two
dense columns of infantry pushing forward at a
quick pace towards us, crossing the fields, as if
they had come from Merke Braine. Every one,
both of the 14th and ourselves, pronounced them
French, yet still we delayed opening fire on
them. Shouting, yelling, and singing, on they
came, right for us; and being now not above
800 or 1000 yards distant, it seemed folly allowing
them to come nearer unmolested. The
commanding officer of the 14th, to end our
doubts, rode forward and endeavoured to ascertain
who they were, but soon returned, assuring
us they were French. The order was already
given to fire, when, luckily, Colonel Gould recognised
them as Belgians. Meantime, whilst
my attention was occupied by these people, the
cavalry had all vanished, nobody could say how
or where.
We breathed again. Such was the agitated
state in which we were kept in our second position.
A third act was about to commence of a
much more stirring and active nature.
It might have been, as nearly as I can recollect,
about three P.M., when Sir Augustus Frazer
galloped up, crying out, “Left limber up, and
as fast as you can.” The words were scarcely
uttered when my gallant troop stood as desired in
column of subdivisions, left in front, pointing towards
the main ridge. “At a gallop, march!”
and away we flew, as steadily and compactly as
if at a review. I rode with Frazer, whose face
was as black as a chimney-sweep’s from the
smoke, and the jacket-sleeve of his right arm
torn open by a musket-ball or case-shot, which
had merely grazed his flesh. As we went along, he
told me that the enemy had assembled an enormous
mass of heavy cavalry in front of the point to
which he was leading us (about one-third of the
distance between Hougoumont and the Charleroi
road), and that in all probability we should immediately
be charged on gaining our position.
“The Duke’s orders, however, are positive,” he
added, “that in the event of their persevering
and charging home, you do not expose your men,
but retire with them into the adjacent squares of
infantry.” As he spoke, we were ascending the
reverse slope of the main position. We breathed
a new atmosphere—the air was suffocatingly hot,
resembling that issuing from an oven. We were
enveloped in thick smoke, and, malgré the incessant
roar of cannon and musketry, could distinctly
hear around us a mysterious humming
noise, like that which one hears of a summer’s
evening proceeding from myriads of black beetles;
cannon-shot, too, ploughed the ground in all
directions, and so thick was the hail of balls and
bullets that it seemed dangerous to extend the
arm lest it should be torn off. In spite of the
serious situation in which we were, I could not
help being somewhat amused at the astonishment
expressed by our kind-hearted surgeon
(Hitchins), who heard for the first time this sort of
music. He was close to me as we ascended the slope,
and, hearing this infernal carillon about his ears,
began staring round in the wildest and most comic
manner imaginable, twisting himself from side to
side, exclaiming, “My God, Mercer, what is that?
What is all this noise? How curious!—how
very curious!” And then when a cannon-shot
rushed hissing past, “There!—there! What is
it all?” It was with great difficulty that I persuaded
him to retire: for a time he insisted on
remaining near me, and it was only by pointing
out how important it was to us, in case of being
wounded, that he should keep himself safe to be
able to assist us, that I prevailed on him to
withdraw. Amidst this storm we gained the
summit of the ridge, strange to say, without
a casualty; and Sir Augustus, pointing out our
position between two squares of Brunswick infantry,
left us with injunctions to remember the
Duke’s order, and to
economise our ammunition.
The Brunswickers were falling fast—the
shot every moment making great gaps in their
squares, which the officers and sergeants were
actively employed in filling up by pushing their
men together, and sometimes thumping them ere
they could make them move. These were the
very boys whom I had but yesterday seen throwing
away their arms, and fleeing, panic-stricken,
from the very sound of our horses’ feet. To-day
they fled not bodily, to be sure, but spiritually,
for their senses seemed to have left them. There
they stood, with recovered arms, like so many
logs, or rather like the very wooden figures which
I had seen them practising at in their cantonments.
Every moment I feared they would
again throw down their arms and flee; but their
officers and sergeants behaved nobly, not only
keeping them together, but managing to keep
their squares closed in spite of the carnage made
amongst them. To have sought refuge amongst
men in such a state were madness—the very
moment our men ran from their guns, I was convinced,
would be the signal for their disbanding.
We had better, then, fall at our posts than in
such a situation. Our coming up seemed to reanimate
them, and all their eyes were directed to
us—indeed, it was providential, for, had we not
arrived as we did, I scarcely think there is a
doubt of what would have been their fate.[19] Our
first gun had scarcely gained the interval between
their squares, when I saw through the
smoke the leading squadrons of the advancing
column coming on at a brisk trot, and already
not more than one hundred yards distant, if so
much, for I don’t think we could have seen so
far. I immediately ordered the line to be formed
for action—case-shot! and the leading gun was
unlimbered and commenced firing almost as soon
as the word was given: for activity and intelligence
our men were unrivalled. The very first
round, I saw, brought down several men and
horses. They continued, however, to advance. I
glanced at the Brunswickers, and that glance told
me it would not do; they had opened a fire from
their front faces, but both squares appeared too
unsteady, and I resolved to say nothing about
the Duke’s order, and take our chance—a resolve
that was strengthened by the effect of the remaining
guns as they rapidly succeeded in coming
to action, making terrible slaughter, and in
an instant covering the ground with men and
horses. Still they persevered in approaching us
(the first round had brought them to a walk),
though slowly, and it did seem they would ride
over us. We were a little below the level of the
ground on which they moved—having in front of
us a bank of about a foot and a half or two feet
high, along the top of which ran a narrow road—and
this gave more effect to our case-shot, all of
which almost must have taken effect, for the carnage
was frightful.[20] I suppose this state of
things occupied but a few seconds, when I observed
symptoms of hesitation, and in a twinkling,
at the instant I thought it was all over with
us, they turned to either flank and filed away
rapidly to the rear. Retreat of the mass, however,
was not so easy. Many facing about and
trying to force their way through the body of the
column, that part next to us became a complete
mob, into which we kept a steady fire of case-shot
from our six pieces. The effect is hardly
conceivable, and to paint this scene of slaughter
and confusion impossible. Every discharge was
followed by the fall of numbers, whilst the survivors
struggled with each other, and I actually saw
them using the pommels of their swords to fight
their way out of the mêlée. Some, rendered desperate
at finding themselves thus pent up at the muzzles
of our guns, as it were, and others carried
away by their horses, maddened with wounds,
dashed through our intervals—few thinking of
using their swords, but pushing furiously onward,
intent only on saving themselves. At last the rear
of the column, wheeling about, opened a passage,
and the whole swept away at a much more rapid
pace than they had advanced, nor stopped until
the swell of the ground covered them from our
fire. We then ceased firing; but as they were
still not far off, for we saw the tops of their caps,
having reloaded, we stood ready to receive them
should they renew the attack.
One of, if not the first man who fell on our
side was wounded by his own gun. Gunner
Butterworth was one of the greatest pickles in
the troop, but, at the same time, a most daring,
active soldier; he was No. 7 (the man who
sponged, &c.) at his gun. He had just finished
ramming down the shot, and was stepping back
outside the wheel, when his foot stuck in the
miry soil, pulling him forward at the moment the
gun was fired. As a man naturally does when
falling, he threw out both his arms before him,
and they were blown off at the elbows. He
raised himself a little on his two stumps, and
looked up most piteously in my face. To assist
him was impossible—the safety of all, everything,
depended upon not slackening our fire, and I was
obliged to turn from him. The state of anxious
activity in which we were kept all day, and the
numbers who fell almost immediately afterwards,
caused me to lose sight of poor Butterworth;
and I afterwards learned that he had succeeded
in rising and was gone to the rear; but on inquiring
for him next day, some of my people
who had been sent to Waterloo told me that they
saw his body lying by the roadside near the farm
of Mount St Jean—bled to death! The retreat
of the cavalry was succeeded by a shower of shot
and shells, which must have annihilated us had
not the little bank covered and threw most of
them over us. Still some reached us and knocked
down men and horses.
At the first charge, the French column was
composed of grenadiers à cheval[21] and cuirassiers,
the former in front. I forget whether they had or
had not changed this disposition, but think, from
the number of cuirasses we afterwards found, that
the cuirassiers led the second attack. Be this as it
may, their column reassembled. They prepared
for a second attempt, sending up a cloud of skirmishers,
who galled us terribly by a fire of carbines
and pistols at scarcely 40 yards from our
front. We were obliged to stand with port-fires
lighted, so that it was not without a little difficulty
that I succeeded in restraining the people
from firing, for they grew impatient under such
fatal results. Seeing some exertion beyond words
necessary for this purpose, I leaped my horse up
the little bank, and began a promenade (by no
means agreeable) up and down our front, without
even drawing my sword, though these fellows
were within speaking distance of me. This
quieted my men; but the tall blue gentlemen,
seeing me thus dare them, immediately made a
target of me, and commenced a very deliberate
practice, to show us what very bad shots they
were and verify the old artillery proverb, “The
nearer the target, the safer you are.” One fellow
certainly made me flinch, but it was a miss; so I
shook my finger at him, and called him coquin,
&c. The rogue grinned as he reloaded, and again
took aim. I certainly felt rather foolish at that
moment, but was ashamed, after such bravado,
to let him see it, and therefore continued my
promenade. As if to prolong my torment, he
was a terrible time about it. To me it seemed
an age. Whenever I turned, the muzzle of his
infernal carbine still followed me. At length
bang it went, and whiz came the ball close to the
back of my neck, and at the same instant down
dropped the leading driver of one of my guns
(Miller), into whose forehead the cursed missile
had penetrated.
The column now once more mounted the
plateau, and these popping gentry wheeled off
right and left to clear the ground for their charge.
The spectacle was imposing, and if ever the word
sublime was appropriately applied, it might surely
be to it. On they came in compact squadrons,
one behind the other, so numerous that those of
the rear were still below the brow when the head
of the column was but at some sixty or seventy
yards from our guns. Their pace was a slow but
steady trot. None of your furious galloping
charges was this, but a deliberate advance, at a
deliberate pace, as of men resolved to carry their
point. They moved in profound silence, and the
only sound that could be heard from them amidst
the incessant roar of battle was the low thunder-like
reverberation of the ground beneath the simultaneous
tread of so many horses. On our part
was equal deliberation. Every man stood steadily
at his post, the guns ready, loaded with a round-shot
first and a case over it; the tubes were in
the vents; the port-fires glared and sputtered behind
the wheels; and my word alone was wanting
to hurl destruction on that goodly show of
gallant men and noble horses. I delayed this,
for experience had given me confidence. The
Brunswickers partook of this feeling, and with
their squares—much reduced in point of size—well
closed, stood firmly, with arms at the recover,
and eyes fixed on us, ready to commence their
fire with our first discharge. It was indeed a
grand and imposing spectacle! The column[22]
was led on this time by an officer in a rich uniform,
his breast covered with decorations, whose
earnest gesticulations were strangely contrasted
with the solemn demeanour of those to whom
they were addressed. I thus allowed them to
advance unmolested until the head of the column
might have been about fifty or sixty yards from
us, and then gave the word, “Fire!” The effect
was terrible. Nearly the whole leading rank fell
at once; and the round-shot, penetrating the
column, carried confusion throughout its extent.
The ground, already encumbered with victims of
the first struggle, became now almost impassable.
Still, however, these devoted warriors struggled
on, intent only on reaching us. The thing was
impossible. Our guns were served with astonishing
activity, whilst the running fire of the
two squares was maintained with spirit. Those
who pushed forward over the heaps of carcasses
of men and horses gained but a few paces in advance,
there to fall in their turn and add to the
difficulties of those succeeding them. The discharge
of every gun was followed by a fall of
men and horses like that of grass before the
mower’s scythe. When the horse alone was killed,
we could see the cuirassiers divesting themselves
of the encumbrance and making their escape on
foot. Still, for a moment, the confused mass (for
all order was at an end) stood before us, vainly
trying to urge their horses over the obstacles presented
by their fallen comrades, in obedience to
the now loud and rapid vociferations of him
who had led them on and remained unhurt. As
before, many cleared everything and rode through
us; many came plunging forward only to fall,
man and horse, close to the muzzles of our guns;
but the majority again turned at the very moment
when, from having less ground to go over, it
were safer to advance than retire, and sought a
passage to the rear. Of course the same confusion,
struggle amongst themselves, and slaughter
prevailed as before, until gradually they disappeared
over the brow of the hill. We ceased
firing, glad to take breath. Their retreat exposed
us, as before, to a shower of shot and shells: these
last, falling amongst us with very long fuses,
kept burning and hissing a long time before they
burst, and were a considerable annoyance to man
and horse. The bank in front, however, again
stood our friend, and sent many over us innocuous.
Lieutenant Breton, who had already lost two
horses, and had mounted a troop-horse, was conversing
with me during this our leisure moment.
As his horse stood at right angles to mine, the
poor jaded animal dozingly rested his muzzle on
my thigh; whilst I, the better to hear amidst the
infernal din, leant forward, resting my arm between
his ears. In this attitude a cannon-shot
smashed the horse’s head to atoms. The headless
trunk sank to the ground—Breton looking pale
as death, expecting, as he afterwards told me,
that I was cut in two. What was passing to the
right and left of us I know no more about than
the man in the moon—not even what corps were
beyond the Brunswickers. The smoke confined
our vision to a very small compass, so that my
battle was restricted to the two squares and my
own battery; and, as long as we maintained our
ground, I thought it a matter of course that others
did so too. It was just after this accident that
our worthy commanding officer of artillery, Sir
George Adam Wood, made his appearance through
the smoke a little way from our left flank. As I
said, we were doing nothing, for the cavalry were
under the brow re-forming for a third attack, and
we were being pelted by their artillery. “D—n
it, Mercer,” said the old man, blinking as a man
does when facing a gale of wind, “you have hot
work of it here.” “Yes, sir, pretty hot;” and I
was proceeding with an account of the two
charges we had already discomfited, and the prospect
of a third, when, glancing that way, I perceived
their leading squadron already on the
plateau. “There they are again!” I exclaimed;
and, darting from Sir George sans cérémonie, was
just in time to meet them with the same destruction
as before. This time, indeed, it was child’s
play. They could not even approach us in any
decent order, and we fired most deliberately; it
was folly having attempted the thing. I was
sitting on my horse near the right of my battery
as they turned and began to retire once more.
Intoxicated with success, I was singing out,
“Beautiful!—beautiful!” and my right arm was
flourishing about, when some one from behind,
seizing it, said quietly, “Take care, or you’ll strike
the Duke;” and in effect our noble chief, with
a serious air, and apparently much fatigued,
passed close by me to the front, without seeming
to take the slightest notice of the remnant of
the French cavalry still lingering on the ground.
This obliged us to cease firing; and at the same
moment I, perceiving a line of infantry ascending
from the rear, slowly, with ported arms, and uttering
a sort of feeble, suppressed hurrah—ankle-deep
in a thick tenacious mud, and threading
their way amongst or stepping over the numerous
corpses covering the ground, out of breath
from their exertions, and hardly preserving a line,
broken everywhere into large gaps the breadth
of several files—could not but meditate on the
probable results of the last charge had I, in
obedience to the Duke’s order, retired my men
into the squares and allowed the daring and formidable
squadrons a passage to our rear, where
they must have gone thundering down on this
disjointed line. The summit gained, the line was
amended, files closed in, and the whole, including
our Brunswickers, advanced down the slope
towards the plain.
Although the infantry lost several men as they
passed us, yet on the whole the cannonade began
to slacken on both sides (why, I know not), and,
the smoke clearing away a little, I had now, for
the first time, a good view of the field. On the
ridge opposite to us dark masses of troops were
stationary, or moving down into the intervening
plain. Our own advancing infantry were hid
from view by the ground. We therefore recommenced
firing at the enemies’ masses, and the
cannonade, spreading, soon became general again
along the line. Whilst thus occupied with our
front, we suddenly became sensible of a most destructive
flanking fire from a battery which had
come, the Lord knows how, and established itself
on a knoll somewhat higher than the ground we
stood on, and only about 400 or 500 yards a little
in advance of our left flank. The rapidity and
precision of this fire were quite appalling. Every
shot almost took effect, and I certainly expected
we should all be annihilated. Our horses and
limbers, being a little retired down the slope, had
hitherto been somewhat under cover from the
direct fire in front; but this plunged right amongst
them, knocking them down by pairs, and creating
horrible confusion. The drivers could hardly extricate
themselves from one dead horse ere another
fell, or perhaps themselves. The saddle-bags, in
many instances, were torn from the horses’ backs,
and their contents scattered over the field. One
shell I saw explode under the two finest wheel-horses
in the troop—down they dropped. In some
instances the horses of a gun or ammunition-waggon
remained, and all their drivers were killed.[23]
The whole livelong day had cost us nothing like
this. Our gunners too—the few left fit for duty
of them—were so exhausted that they were unable
to run the guns up after firing, consequently at
every round they retreated nearer to the limbers;
and as we had pointed our two left guns towards
the people who were annoying us so terribly, they
soon came altogether in a confused heap, the
trails crossing each other, and the whole dangerously
near the limbers and ammunition-waggons,
some of which were totally unhorsed, and others in
sad confusion from the loss of their drivers and
horses, many of them lying dead in their harness
attached to their carriages. I sighed for my poor
troop—it was already but a wreck.
I had dismounted, and was assisting at one of
the guns to encourage my poor exhausted men,
when through the smoke a black speck caught my
eye, and I instantly knew what it was. The conviction
that one never sees a shot coming towards you
unless directly in its line flashed across my mind,
together with the certainty that my doom was
sealed. I had barely time to exclaim “Here it is
then!”—much in that gasping sort of way one does
when going into very cold water takes away the
breath—“whush” it went past my face, striking
the point of my pelisse collar, which was lying
open, and smash into a horse close behind me. I
breathed freely again.
Under such a fire, one may be said to have had
a thousand narrow escapes; and, in good truth, I
frequently experienced that displacement of air
against my face caused by the passing of shot
close to me; but the two above recorded, and a
third which I shall mention, were remarkable
ones, and made me feel in full force the goodness
of Him who protected me among so many dangers.
Whilst in position on the right of the second line,
I had reproved some of my men for lying down
when shells fell near them until they burst. Now
my turn came. A shell, with a long fuse, came
slop into the mud at my feet, and there lay fizzing
and flaring, to my infinite discomfiture. After
what I had said on the subject, I felt that I must
act up to my own words, and, accordingly, there I
stood, endeavouring to look quite composed until
the cursed thing burst—and, strange to say, without
injuring me, though so near. The effect on my
men was good. We had scarcely fired many
rounds at the enfilading battery when a tall man
in the black Brunswick uniform came galloping
up to me from the rear, exclaiming, “Ah! mine
Gott!—mine Gott! vat is it you doos, sare? Dat is
your friends de Proosiens; an you kills dem! Ah,
mine Gott!—mine Gott! vill you no stop, sare?—vill
you no stop? Ah! mine Gott!—mine Gott! vat
for is dis? De Inglish kills dere friends de Proosiens!
Vere is de Dook von Vellington?—vere is
de Dook von Vellington? Oh, mine Gott!—mine
Gott!” &c. &c., and so he went on raving like
one demented. I observed that if these were our
friends the Prussians they were treating us very
uncivilly; and that it was not without sufficient
provocation we had turned our guns on them,
pointing out to him at the same time the bloody
proofs of my assertion. Apparently not noticing
what I said, he continued his lamentations, and,
“Vill you no stop, sare, I say?” Wherefore,
thinking he might be right, to pacify him I
ordered the whole to cease firing, desiring him to
remark the consequences. Psieu, psieu, psieu,
came our friends’ shot, one after another; and our
friend himself had a narrow escape from one of
them. “Now, sir,” I said, “you will be convinced;
and we will continue our firing, whilst
you can ride round the way you came, and tell
them they kill their friends the English; the
moment their fire ceases, so shall mine.” Still he
lingered, exclaiming, “Oh, dis is terreebly to see
de Proosien and de Inglish kill vonanoder!” At
last darting off I saw no more of him.[24] The fire
continued on both sides, mine becoming slacker
and slacker, for we were reduced to the last extremity,
and must have been annihilated but for
the opportune arrival of a battery of Belgic artillery
a little on our left, which, taking the others
in flank nearly at point blank, soon silenced and
drove them off. We were so reduced that all our
strength was barely sufficient to load and fire
three guns out of our six.
These Belgians were all beastly drunk, and,
when they first came up, not at all particular as
to which way they fired; and it was only by keeping
an eye on them that they were prevented
treating us, and even one another. The wretches
had probably already done mischief elsewhere—who
knows? My recollections of the latter part
of this day are rather confused; I was fatigued,
and almost deaf. I recollect clearly, however,
that we had ceased firing—the plain below being
covered with masses of troops, which we could
not distinguish from each other. Captain Walcot
of the horse-artillery had come to us, and we
were all looking out anxiously at the movements
below and on the opposite ridge, when he suddenly
shouted out, “Victory!—victory! they fly!—they
fly!” and sure enough we saw some of the
masses dissolving, as it were, and those composing
them streaming away in confused crowds over the
field, whilst the already desultory fire of their
artillery ceased altogether. I shall never forget
this joyful moment!—this moment of exultation!
On looking round I found we were left almost
alone. Cavalry and infantry had all moved forward,
and only a few guns here and there were
to be seen on the position. A little to our right
were the remains of Major M‘Donald’s troop under
Lieutenant Sandilands, which had suffered much,
but nothing like us. We were congratulating
ourselves on the happy results of the day, when
an aide-de-camp rode up, crying “Forward, sir!—forward!
It is of the utmost importance that
this movement should be supported by artillery!”
at the same time waving his hat much in the
manner of a huntsman laying on his dogs. I
smiled at his energy, and, pointing to the remains
of my poor troop, quietly asked, “How, sir?”
A glance was sufficient to show him the impossibility,
and away he went.
Our situation was indeed terrible: of 200 fine
horses with which we had entered the battle,
upwards of 140 lay dead, dying, or severely
wounded. Of the men, scarcely two-thirds of
those necessary for four guns remained, and these
so completely exhausted as to be totally incapable
of further exertion. Lieutenant Breton had
three horses killed under him; Lieutenant Hincks
was wounded in the breast by a spent ball; Lieutenant
Leathes on the hip by a splinter; and
although untouched myself, my horse had no less
than eight wounds, one of which—a graze on the
fetlock joint—lamed him for ever. Our guns and
carriages were, as before mentioned, altogether
in a confused heap, intermingled with dead and
wounded horses, which it had not been possible
to disengage from them. My poor men, such at
least as were untouched, fairly worn out, their
clothes, faces, &c., blackened by the smoke and
spattered over with mud and blood, had seated
themselves on the trails of the carriages, or had
thrown themselves on the wet and polluted soil,
too fatigued to think of anything but gaining a
little rest. Such was our situation when called
upon to advance! It was impossible, and we
remained where we were. For myself, I was
also excessively tired—hoarse, to making speech
painful, and deaf from the infernal uproar of the
last eleven hours. Moreover, I was devoured by
a burning thirst, not a drop of liquid having
passed my lips since the evening of the 16th;
but although, with the exception of the chicken’s
leg last night, I may be said to have eaten nothing
for two whole days, yet did I not feel the least
desire for food.
The evening had become fine, and but for an
occasional groan or lament from some poor
sufferer, and the repeated piteous neighing of
wounded horses, tranquillity might be said to
reign over the field. As it got dusk, a large body
of Prussian artillery arrived, and formed their
bivouac near us. There was not light to see
more of them than that their brass guns were
kept bright, and that their carriages were encumbered
with baggage, and, besides, appeared but
clumsy machines when compared with ours. All
wore their greatcoats, which apparently they had
marched in. As they looked at us rather scowlingly,
and did not seem inclined to hold any
communication with us, I soon returned to my
own people, whom I found preparing to go
supperless to bed—the two remaining officers,
the non-commissioned officers and men having
all got together in a heap, with some painted
covers spread under and others drawn over
them—at a distance from our guns, &c., the
neighbourhood of which, they said, was too
horrible to think of sleeping there. For my part,
after standing all day amongst all these horrors,
I felt no squeamishness about sleeping amongst
them; so pulling down the painted cover of a
limber over the footboard in the manner of a
tent roof, I crept under it, and endeavoured to
sleep. The cramped situation in which I lay,
and the feverish excitement of my mind, forbade,
however, my obtaining that sound and refreshing
sleep so much needed—I only dozed. From one
of these dozes I awoke about midnight, chilled
and cramped to death from the awkward doubled-up
position imposed upon me by my short and
narrow bed. So up I got to look around and
contemplate a battle-field by the pale moonlight.
The night was serene and pretty clear; a few
light clouds occasionally passing across the moon’s
disc, and throwing objects into transient obscurity,
added considerably to the solemnity of the
scene. Oh, it was a thrilling sensation thus to
stand in the silent hour of the night and contemplate
that field—all day long the theatre of noise
and strife, now so calm and still—the actors
prostrate on the bloody soil, their pale wan faces
upturned to the moon’s cold beams, which caps
and breastplates, and a thousand other things,
reflected back in brilliant pencils of light from
as many different points! Here and there some
poor wretch, sitting up amidst the countless dead,
busied himself in endeavours to stanch the flowing
stream with which his life was fast ebbing
away. Many whom I saw so employed that
night were, when morning dawned, lying stiff
and tranquil as those who had departed earlier.
From time to time a figure would half raise
itself from the ground, and then, with a despairing
groan, fall back again. Others, slowly and
painfully rising, stronger, or having less deadly
hurt, would stagger away with uncertain steps
across the field in search of succour. Many of
these I followed with my gaze until lost in the
obscurity of distance; but many, alas! after staggering
a few paces, would sink again on the
ground, probably to rise no more. It was heart-rending—and
yet I gazed! Horses, too, there
were to claim our pity—mild, patient, enduring.
Some lay on the ground with their entrails hanging
out, and yet they lived. These would occasionally
attempt to rise, but, like their human
bed-fellows, quickly falling back again, would
lift their poor heads, and, turning a wistful gaze
at their side, lie quietly down again, to repeat the
same until strength no longer remained, and then,
their eyes gently closing, one short convulsive
struggle closed their sufferings. One poor animal
excited painful interest—he had lost, I believe,
both his hind legs; and there he sat the long
night through on his tail, looking about, as if in
expectation of coming aid, sending forth, from
time to time, long and protracted melancholy
neighing. Although I knew that killing him at
once would be mercy, I could not muster courage
even to give the order. Blood enough I had
seen shed during the last six-and-thirty hours,
and sickened at the thought of shedding more.
There, then, he still sat when we left the ground,
neighing after us, as if reproaching our desertion
of him in the hour of need.
The Prussian bivouac near at hand offered a
far different and more cheering scene. There all
was life and movement. Their handsome horses,
standing harnessed and tied to the carriages, sent
forth neighings of another character. Dark
forms moved amongst them; and by the bivouac-fires
sat figures that would have furnished studies
for a Salvator. Dark, brown, stern visages, rendered
still sterner by the long drooping mustache
that overshadowed the mouth, from which appended
their constant companion, the pipe.
Many there were, too, busily occupied with the
first great care of all animals—cooking, or eating
the mess already cooked. Save these I have
mentioned, no living being moved on the moon-lit
field; and as I cast up my eyes at the
lustrous lamp of heaven, I thought on the thousand
dear connections far, far away, on whose
peaceful dwelling it now looked down, their
inmates sleeping in tranquil security, ignorant as
yet of the fatal blow which had now for ever
severed them from those they loved, whose bodies
encumbered the ground around me. And here,
even here, what a contrast between this charnel-house
and the distant landscape within my ken!
Over it the same fair planet shed her mild beams,
illuminating its groves and yellow corn-fields, its
still and quiet villages, whose modest spires here
and there arose from the horizon—emblems of
peace, tranquillity, and repose. Long I continued
to gaze on this sad and solemn scene; and all
this slaughter, I said, to gratify the ambition of
one man, and that man—whom?—one who has
risen from a station humble as my own, has
already devastated Europe, and filled it with
blood and mourning—who only recently left
behind him 400,000 gallant men, a prey to the
sword and the intemperance of a northern clime—fearful
holocaust on the altar of that ambition!
At length I again crept into my cell, and again
slept by fits and starts, until the first blush of
day reddened the eastern sky, and aroused us all
to new exertion. As I emerged from under my
cover a shudder crept over me, when the stronger
light of day enabled me to see the corpse of one
of my drivers lying mangled and bloody beneath
my lair.