The 17th of December, 1566, was the christening
day of Mary Stuart's infant son. Amongst the
festivities arranged in celebration of the event, there
was a "great banquet", to which the representatives
of foreign sovereigns had been invited, and at
which a foremost place had been assigned to Hatton
and the Englishmen who had accompanied him to
Scotland. To enliven the entertainment, George
Buchanan had written a masque, in which the
actors were satyrs who, whilst reciting his complimentary
verses, were to bring various symbolical
gifts to the royal infant. The performance of this
interlude had been entrusted to a Frenchman named
Bastien. As the meat was being brought through
the great hall, on a "trim engine", that seemed to
move of itself, he made his appearance with a band
of men disguised to represent the mythological
monsters, and wearing long tails, in keeping with
their assumed character. But he and his associates
"were not content only to red roun". Whether
merely acting on a mischievous impulse or deliberately
carrying out a preconcerted joke, the mummers,
as they passed near the English guests, put their
hands to their tails and began wagging them.
Hatton and his party "daftly apprehending that
which they should not seem to have understood",
and placing the worst construction on the silly and
unseemly trick, chose to believe that it had been
planned in derision of them and out of spiteful
jealousy "that the Queen made more of them than
of the Frenchmen". To mark their sense of the
insult offered them, "they all set down upon the
bare floor behind the back of the board, that they
should not see themselves scorned, as they thought".
In relating the incident to Sir James Melville, who
records it in his Memoirs, Hatton added that, if it
had not taken place in the Royal palace and in
presence of the Queen herself, he would "have
put a dagger to the heart of the French knave
Bastien".[291]
Coarse and unmannerly as was the satyrs' by-play,
it would hardly seem to have deserved to be
taken so seriously and so ill by the English guests,
if it were not remembered that it expressed in dumb
show what had for centuries been looked upon by
Englishmen as a deadly insult—a reference to the
popular belief that they were distinguished from the
natives of other countries by the physical monstrosity
of bearing tails. That this was accepted as an actual
and disgraceful fact there is abundant evidence to
prove. In a medieval Latin poem[292]
devoted to an enumeration of the distinctive characteristics of the
various nations of Europe, the unflattering lines that
fall to the share of the English, jeer at them for this
deformity, whilst not omitting to denounce the
treachery so commonly and so spitefully attributed
to them by their enemies:
A brute beast is the Englishman,
For he doth bear a tail;
Beware, and treat him as a foe,
E'en when he bids thee "Hail!"[293]
The anonymous satirist, however, was not original.
He had not the merit, such as it might be,
of having invented the slander which he flung as
an insult at the people against whom he obviously
entertained a bitter animosity. If, as there is reason
to believe, he was a Frenchman, he merely repeated
a gibe which had long been one of the commonplaces
of vulgar vituperation amongst his compatriots.
In the description which the thirteenth-century
chronicler, Jacques de Vitry, gives of the
depraved state of Paris in his day, and more particularly
of the rude behaviour and coarse jests of the
students who flocked to its famous university, he
states that diversity of nationality aroused amongst
them dissensions, hatred and violent animosities, to
which they gave vent by indulging in all kinds of
invectives against each other. As an example of
their scurrility, he mentions that they called the
English drunkards and "tailards".[294]
To suppose, from the very absurdity of the imputation, that it
was merely cast as a taunt, and that no actual belief
lay behind it, would be to ignore all that medieval
credulity was capable of. Moreover, the attitude
taken up by the English themselves, implied shame
at an alleged deformity fully as much as anger at a
wanton insult. On this point evidence is supplied
by the Dominican monk Etienne de Bourbon, a
moralist who flourished about the middle of the
thirteenth century. In a treatise which is devoted
to the exposition of subjects suitable for the pulpit,
and which abounds in quaint stories as well as in
caustic commentaries on contemporary manners, he
does not omit to deal with the inordinate love of
dress displayed by women, and to denounce the
prevailing fashion of wearing extravagantly long
trains to their gowns. He rebukes them for impiously
presuming to better God's work, for doing
away with the honourable distinction conferred upon
them as human beings, and for deliberately assuming
that which brings them down to the same level as
brute beasts. As a climax, he inveighs against their
shamelessness in making themselves what the English
blush to be called—"tailards".[295]
The events that were chiefly instrumental in
bringing the English into either contact or conflict
with Continental nations, during the Middle Ages,
were the Crusades and the Hundred Years' War.
The chronicles that deal with these are not wanting
in instances from which it may be gathered how
readily the obnoxious gibe came to the lips of those
that wished to show their contempt for the islanders.
Richard of Devizes, who wrote one of the earliest
and most authentic narratives of the reign of
Richard I, with whom he was contemporary, describes
how, in 1190, the inhabitants of Messina
manifested their hatred for the strangers whom the
King had brought to their shores, and how they
tried to wreak vengeance on him and his "tailards";
for, explains the chronicler, the Greeks and the
Sicilians gave the name of "tailards" to all who
followed the English monarch.[296]
Another very early reference to the use of the
term "tailard" as an opprobrious synonym for
"Englishmen" is that which occurs in a metrical
romance dealing with the same period and also recording,
but with poetical freedom, the life and
exploits of Richard Cœur de Lion. The exact date
of the poem is unknown; but the fact of its being
mentioned in the Chronicles of Richard of Gloucester
and in those of Robert de Brunne, supplies evidence
of its having been written earlier than the year 1300.
It is confessedly a translation from the French; and
that may account for the appearance in it of an insulting
epithet which an English writer might have
hesitated to use, even as an invective in the mouth
of an enemy. The Second Book of this romance
is devoted to a journey to the Holy Land, which
the English King is supposed to have undertaken
prior to the actual crusade, but which is, however,
made to include the well-known incident of his
capture. The poet tells how, when returning from
Palestine, with "Sir Foulke Doyly of renown, and
Sir Thomas of Multoun", Richard was betrayed,
captured, and brought as a prisoner before the King
of Allemayne; and how, when he represented himself
and his companions as pilgrims,
"The Kyng callid Rychard be name,
And clepyd him 'taylard', and sayde him schame."[297]
In the Sixth Book of the same poem, it is related
how the English King, on his way to Acre, put in at
Cyprus and sent messengers to the Emperor, and
how that monarch "began to rage", threw a knife
at one of them, and followed this up by peremptorily
ordering them out of his presence, with the
words:—
"Out, 'taylards', of my paleys!
Now go and say your 'tayled' King
That I owe him no thing."[298]
When the Emperor's steward ventured to represent
to his master that such treatment of honourable
knights who came to him in the character of
ambassadors was not justifiable, the furious but
apocryphal potentate
"Carved off his nose by the grusle,
And said: Traytour, thief, steward,
Go, playne to English 'taylarde'."[299]
There is a further account of Richard's journey
to the Holy Land in a poem by a writer of whom
we know that his name was Ambrose, and that he
witnessed various historical events between 1188
and 1196. It would also appear from his narrative
that he actually accompanied the Crusaders on the
expedition which he records. He, too, refers to
the hostile attitude assumed by the inhabitants of
Messina towards the English King's followers, and
states that they jeered at the foreigners and called
them "foul dogs", an epithet which, in the light
of the parallel texts, may be looked upon as an
allusion to the tails which the English were commonly
believed to bear.[300]
At the beginning of the thirteenth century, there
is an instance of the use of the offensive gibe which
shows to what purpose it was beginning to be turned
by the literate class of the day. During the minority
of Henry III, Louis VIII, continuing the aggressive
policy inaugurated by his father, Philip Augustus,
against the incapable administration of King John,
made a vigorous effort to wrest Poitou from the
English. Amongst the most noteworthy achievements
of this campaign, was the capture of La
Rochelle, in 1224. In celebration of this event,
a poetaster of the day wrote some doggerel
verses, which the Chronicle of Lanercost[301]
has preserved:—
'Tis our own native King, 'tis a stranger no more,
Who reigns in Rochelle, by the fortune of war;
And the fear of the English no longer prevails,
For he's made them all harmless by breaking their tails.[302]
On the other side, however, it was not forgotten
that, a few years earlier, in 1217, the same Louis,
after being deserted by the discontented barons who
had called him over, had suffered a crushing defeat
at Lincoln. This supplied fair material for a retort
in the same style:—
We have dragged our French foes,
Strung like larks in long rows,
And made fast to our tails with a rope;
That it really was so,
Why, there's Lincoln to show,
And that won't be questioned, I hope.[303]
The circumstances in which we next hear the
contemptuous appellation of "tailards" applied to
the English are particularly dramatic. It is in the
course of the seventh crusade, that which was undertaken,
in 1248, by Louis IX with an English contingent,
and of which Matthew of Paris is one of
the chroniclers. This time, however, it is not from
the enemy that the insult comes. It is from an
impetuous and overbearing ally, from the French
King's brother, Count Robert of Artois. The Count
was jealous of William Longsword; and on one
occasion, when the leader of the English was returning
from a successful but unauthorized raid,
he was arbitrarily deprived by his arrogant rival
of the booty which he was bringing back to the
camp. Having in vain appealed to Louis, who
appears to have been quite powerless against his
brother's presumption, the English chief retired to
Acre, with his two hundred knights; and the news
of their departure drew from Artois the scornful
exclamation that the army of the noble French was
well purged of those "tailards".[304]
Longsword was ultimately prevailed upon by the king to return;
but it was not long before he had again to bear the
brunt of Artois' overweening pride and insolence.
A difference of opinion had arisen between the rash
and headstrong Count and the more cautious Master
of the Templars, as to the advisability of following
up a successful attack that had just been made on
the infidels. Longsword was present and attempted
to intervene as a peacemaker between the disputants;
but he only succeeded in drawing on himself the
anger of the hot-headed Frenchman, who put a
climax to his violent invectives by insultingly referring
to the pusillanimity of the timid "tailards",
and expressing a wish that the army might, once
for all, be purged of tails and "tailards".[305]
Even the dignified self-possession of Longsword was not
proof against such jeers. "Count Robert," he
replied, "I shall certainly proceed, undismayed by
any peril of impending death. We shall, I fancy,
be to-day where you will not dare to touch my
horse's tail."[306]
In the engagement thus recklessly
forced on—it was the battle of Mansourah—both
Artois and Longsword perished. But whilst the
French prince lost his life when trying to swim his
horse across a river, after ignominiously turning
tail,[307]
the English knight fell fighting valiantly with
his face to the overwhelming foe.
The chronicles which record the events that
marked the closing years of the thirteenth century
supply a grim illustration of the ignominious treatment
which their reputation as "tailards" sometimes
brought upon the English. The war which
broke out about this time between Edward I and
Philip IV of France had for its cause, or, perhaps
more correctly, for its pretext, one of the brawls
which frequently arose when the sailors of the two
countries met in the ports on either side of the
Channel. Whether rightly or wrongly, the Frenchmen
represented the English as the aggressors.
They brought the matter under the notice of their
own king, and represented it as an insult to him
and to the whole nation that they should have been
so wantonly ill-used by the "tailards". In the
reprisals which followed, Philip's brother, Charles,
took a conspicuous part. Having a previous and
personal grievance against the English, he vented
his spite even on unoffending pilgrims and students.
He hanged several of the poor wretches who fell
into his hands; and, adding insult to injury, strung
up dogs side by side with them, to intimate, says
the Chronicle of Lanercost, the resemblance which
he thought to exist between the two, or, as another
record even more plainly puts it, to show that he
made no difference between a dog and an Englishman.
Amongst the State Papers relative to the
history of Edward I, there is a document which
very strikingly confirms the truth of this barbarous
incident. It consists of a long roll containing an
account of the various outrages committed by the
French on English mariners and on inhabitants of the
Cinque Ports. One of the charges brought against
the Norman seamen is illustrated in the margin by a
contemporaneous sketch representing a row of Englishmen
hanging up, with a dog between each two.[308]
It is suggestive of the annoyance which the
English felt at their opprobrious nickname that,
when we find their writers noticing it, it is almost
invariably under provocation and in a tone of indignant
protest. One noteworthy exception to this
is to be met with in a curious, half-literary, half-historical
production, attributed to John of Bridlington.
It is a political retrospect of the reign of
Edward III, and consists of a supposed ancient text,
in Latin verse, with a recent commentary on it.
The poem itself purports to be a prophecy, whilst
the notes indicate in what manner the predictions
were fulfilled. As the leading event for the year
1356, the date of the battle of Poitiers, it is foretold
that,
"The four cockrels shall learn what defeat is, that day
When the French meet the English in battle array,
And the big-buttocked bullies are shamefully routed
By the men whom as 'tailards' their ribaldry flouted".[309]
The imaginary scholiast explains the meaning of
this to be, that the brood of the Gallic cock, or, in
other words, the French, will be vanquished by the
English, whom they jeeringly call "tailards"; that
the appellation which is here applied to them and
which has been somewhat euphemistically translated
by "big-buttocked", is intended as a set-off against
the ignominious term by which they commonly
designate the English; and that the four cockrels
especially referred to, are the king and his three
sons. "And, indeed, these four," it is added,
"were actually vanquished in that battle, the King
himself being captured with one of his sons, whilst
the other two fled from the field."[310]
After Poitiers, the invasion of France by Henry
V is chronologically the next important event in
the long medieval struggle between England and
France. The initial success of the English, whilst
embittering the animosity of their enemies, inspired
a restraining respect; and there is an expression of
those mingled feelings of aversion and of fear in
the lines which a poetaster of the day addressed to
the invaders, partly as a reproach, partly as an
appeal:
"Perfidious race that perjured England breeds,
Whose evil nature shows in all your deeds,
Why must you still, with baneful purpose, seek
Your spite on righteous Frenchmen thus to wreak?
Christ's servants they, and constant to the faith
Which twice from you has suffered wanton scathe;
Your words are fair, but yet in all you do,
The crooked paths of falsehood you pursue;
Cut off that poisonous tail you long have worn,
A byword to the nations, and their scorn!
For thee, their king, be not my warning vain,
And, in thy mem'ry let this truth remain:
That God who willed thou shouldst a 'tailard' be
Has not denied his hallowing grace to thee."[311]
But the fortune of war began to turn against the
English on the death of Henry V in 1422; and the
exultation caused by that event is voiced by Olivier
Basselin, in one of his popular poems:—
"The King who sat upon the English throne
The crown of France claimed also for his own;
He strove to drive as outcasts from their land
The men that dared to stem the invading tide;
But, when death dashed the sceptre from his hand,
The alien host was scattered far and wide,
And France is now from English 'tailards' freed;
May curses light on all the recreant breed!"[312]
A few years later, possibly about 1430, a popular
ballade, in which an unknown writer celebrated the
exploits of Jeanne d'Arc, opened with a repetition of
the old insult:—
"Back, English 'tailards', back!"[313]
And Enguerrand de Monstrelet, the Burgundian
chronicler of the events that marked the latter
half of the Hundred Years' War, records another
historical occasion on which the French gave utterance
to their triumph in the traditional gibe at the
alleged monstrosity of their old enemies. In his
account of the evacuation of Paris, in 1436, he
relates that, as the English retired from the city
which they had held for sixteen years, the inhabitants
hooted them with great cries of "Tails!"[314]
Coming down to the sixteenth century, we find
that, in the early years of it, when hostilities broke
out between Louis XII and Henry VIII, the old
insult fell readily from the pen of the French versifiers
who found subjects for their rhymes in the
military incidents of the time. Thus, in the Dépucellage
de la ville de Tournay, the town, referring
to its ill-advised refusal of help when the English
laid siege to it, is made to say:—
"To guard my ramparts from the foe's attack
A ready offer from the King was brought;
But, I refused, and sent the answer back:
'With men for watch and ward, no means I lack
To bring the "tailards'" enterprise to nought'".[315]
But pride went before a fall. Tournay was occupied
by the English in 1513.
In Anatole de Montaiglon's collection of fifteenth
and sixteenth century verse, there is a poem which
bears the title of Courroux de la Mort contre les Anglois,
and which is in substance a bitter invective against
the English generally. It is undated; but an allusion
to the porcupine, the well-known emblem of
Louis XII, points to its having also been written at
this same period. In an apostrophe, the poet promises
his countrymen an easy victory over the
English:—
"In war your arms will speedily prevail
Against your foe, the King 'that wears a tail'".[316]
The fight of Guinegate, commonly known as the
battle of the Spurs, can hardly have been looked
upon by him as a fulfilment of his prophecy. It
may rather, if that were still possible, have increased
the animosity which inspired the two scurrilous lines
in which he strung together as many opprobrious
epithets as the measure of his verse would admit,
and which duly included the traditional slander,
linked, in this instance, with the equally popular
nickname of "godon", supposed to have originated
in the frequent and profane use which the English
made of God's name:—
"Ye noisome, greedy, fetid braggarts, go!
Ye 'tailard' godons, rid me of your sight!"[317]
So far, the use of the abusive term "tailard", in
French coué and in Latin caudatus, has been traced
in immediate connection with events that brought
the English into direct conflict with their enemies.
There are not wanting instances, however, to show
that no special provocation was required, and that
from century to century it currently served the purpose
of those whom national antipathy prompted to
revile the English, or to hold them up to ridicule.
To begin with Eustache Deschamps, the most prolific
and versatile versifier of the late fourteenth and
the early fifteenth centuries, we find him giving
Englishmen and their tails a conspicuous place in
his satirical verses. In a poem of which only a
fragment remains, he describes how
"They swagger grandly down the street,
An awsome sight to all they meet";
but how, in order not to mar the effect of the imposing
appearance which they assume,
"Between their legs they hide with care
The tail which rumour says they wear".[318]
The Englishmen's tails also supply the subject of
a rondeau in which Deschamps mockingly compares
the strength of the French with that of the English,
ironically proclaiming the superiority of the latter
as proved by the greater mass of flesh they have
to carry, and the additional appendage they are
obliged to drag about with them:—
The English are more stout, 'tis clear,
Than any Frenchman you can meet.
Slight burdens only Frenchmen bear;
The English are more stout, 'tis clear.
Two butts they carry everywhere,
And eke a tail, so trig and neat,
The English are more stout, 'tis clear,
Than any Frenchman you can meet.[319]
In addition to this, Deschamps has a satirical
ballade, in which he again drags in the English by
the tail, professing concern for the inconvenience
which it must cause them, and earnestly advising
them to hold it up. "Billy", the predecessor of John
Bull, as a typical Englishman, opens the poem with
a gibe at the "French dogs", who "do nothing but
drink wine". "Frenchy" does not deny the soft
impeachment, but retorts that he considers it better
to indulge in the juice of the grape than to swill
beer. Then, by an abrupt transition and, if with
rhyme, without any special reason, he compares red-haired
Englishmen to mastiffs. On the strength of
that canine similitude, he impresses upon them the
necessity for holding up their tails. He commiserates
them on the additional burden which they have to
carry, though not endowed with the physical vigour
of Jacques Thommelin, the strong man of the day.
He warns them against walking abroad in dirty
weather; and if, in spite of the rain, they must
take their corn to the mill or gather grapes in the
vineyard, he bids them imitate their four-footed
neighbours the dogs, and hold up their tails to
prevent their trailing in the mud. The satire is
not keen, nor is the humour brilliant; and the whole
point lies in the rather scurrilous than apt refrain:
—
BALLADE
(Sur les Anglais)
"Franche dogue," dist un Anglois,
"Vous ne faites que boire vin."
"Si faisons bien," dist le François,
"Mais vous buvez le henequin;
Roux estes com pel de mastin,
Vuillequot, de moy aprenez,
Quant vous yrez par le chemin:
Levez vostre queue, levez!
Vous n'estes pas de membres fais
Si comme est Jaques Thommelin
Qui porte si merveilleus fais
Que vous n'y pourriez mettre fin:
Ce sont deux tonneaulx de sapin,
C'est voir, et la queue delez.
Advisez-vous, dit Franchequin;
Levez vostre queue, levez!
N'alez a piet, par le temps frais,
Porter vostre blé au moulin;
S'il pluet, troussez vo queue prés,
Autel facent vostre voisin;
Et si vous pinciez le raisin,
Afin que vous ne vous crotez,
Soit en France ou en Limosin,
Levez vostre queue, levez!"[320]
Another ballade records an incident which is supposed
to have happened in Calais. In company with
Granson, a mercenary captain in English pay, but
without the necessary safe-conduct, the poet entered
the town, which was then in possession of the
English. He was at once pulled up by two men-at-arms
who addressed him in language of which
he quotes such scraps as "dogue" and "goday",
"ride" and "commidre". He, on his side, intimated
his recognition of their nationality by exclaiming:
"Oh yes! I see your tail!" Whilst Granson,
who had led him into the trap, made off laughing
and calling out that he had no wish to stand surety
for him, Deschamps was told that he would be kept
in durance, an announcement which again drew from
him the taunt, "Oil, je voy vo queue!" Though
confessedly blue with fright, he nevertheless summoned
up enough courage to make a dash for
liberty. Digging his heels vigorously into his cob,
he made it rear with a suddenness that sent his
captors sprawling; and whilst they lay helplessly on
the ground, he hastily betook himself out of their
reach, uttering the inevitable refrain:—
BALLADE
(Récit d'une Aventure à Calais)
Je fu l'autrier trop mal venuz
Quant j'alay pour veir Calays;
J'entray dedenz comme cornuz,
Sanz congié; lors vint deux Anglois,
Granson devant et moy aprés,
Qui me prindrent parmi la bride:
L'un me dist: "dogue", l'autre: "ride";
Lors me devint la coulour bleue:
"Goday", fait l'un, l'autre: "commidre".
Lors dis: "Oil, je voy vo queue."
Pour mal content s'en est tenuz
L'un d'eulx, qui estoit le plus lays,
Et dist: "Vous seres retenuz
Prinsonnier, vous estes forfais."
Mais Granson s'en aloit adés
Qui en riant faisait la vuide:
A eulx m'avoit trahi, ce cuide,
En anglois dist: "Pas ne l'adveue."
Passer me font de Dieu l'espite;
Lors dis: "Oil, je voy vo queue."
Puis ay mes talons estenduz
De mon roucin, le serray prés,
Lors sault, si furent espanduz;
Delez Granson fut mes retrais
Là ne me vault treves ne pais,
De paour la face me ride,
De tel amour ma mort me cuide;
Au derrain leur dist: "Je l'adveue."
"Chien, faisoit l'un, vez vous vo guide?"
Lors dis: "Oil, je voy vo queue!"[321]
Another writer of the same period, Olivier Basselin,
refers to the Englishmen's tails in a satirical poem,
in which he alleges this physical deformity as his
reason for not wishing to live in their country:—
"Do you think it's a joke that I never would dwell
'Mongst the English, as oft I declare?
Nay, believe me, my friend, 'tis the truth that I tell,
For I hate the long tails that they wear."[322]
In one of his minor poems, Jean Molinet, part-author
of the Roman de la Rose, who also belongs
to the fifteenth century, humorously goes one step
further than his fellow satirists, and gives even
animals of English race a share in the distinctive
peculiarity which birth in England entailed on the
human Islanders. Of a certain tom-cat he says:—
"This Cat for his mother had Cathau the Blue,
To Calais he does not belong;
There's something about him of English breed, too,
And that's why his tail is so long."[323]
About the beginning of the sixteenth century,
Crétin, a Norman poet, combines encouragement of
the French with the usual abuse of the English:—
"Praise shall reward the doughty deeds you do,
And store of crowns, and golden angels, too;
And, in the ransom of the 'long-tailed' crew,
Their flesh and bone shall be as gold to you."[324]
As late as the seventeenth century, an echo of the
gibe may still be heard. Larivey, in one of his
comedies, Les Tromperies, makes a swaggering captain
boast of the reputation which he has acquired
by valiantly charging the English "tailards" when
they attempted to land at Dieppe.[325]
Still nearer our own day, Saint-Amant, who, indeed, is so modern
that he was one of the original members of the
French Academy and figures in Boileau's satires,
has a reference to the English longtails in his Rome
Ridicule. He incidentally claims for the French the
strange merit of having rid their country of the
goitre and of the king's evil by making carrion of
the English invaders:—
"The goitre now we never see,
And cruels, too, have ceased to be,
E'er since we slew our 'tailard' foes
And made them food to gorge the crows".[326]
By this time, however, the tradition had ceased to
be popular; for in a note on this passage, Saint-Amant's
contemporary, Conrart, thought it necessary
to give an explanation of the epithet "quouez".
According to him, it was justified by the fact that,
in the case of the majority of Englishmen, the end
of the os sacrum, called coccyx, actually protrudes
and forms a tail![327]
But, even yet, the old cry has not wholly died
out. In the Island of Guernsey, that genuine bit of
Normandy, where it was once so frequently heard, it
is perpetuated by the country children. They have
a custom of slyly throwing at passers-by a hairy,
clinging weed, which grows abundantly by the wayside.
If any of it catches on to the victims of their
childish trick, these are made aware of it by hearing
themselves jeered at with cries of "la Coue!" The
words are the very same as those recorded by
Monstrelet; and this identity seems to justify the
belief that they are a survival of the medieval scoff.
The Scots, sharing as they did the feeling of animosity
entertained by the French against their English
foes, were no less ready than they to give it expression;
and the insulting taunt which they had learnt from
their continental allies was adopted as an effective
means to that end. It is not, however, amidst the
excitement of international strife that the cry is first
heard. The earliest instance of its use in the North
Country is given by Bower. Under the date of
1217, he has an account of the mission to Scotland,
undertaken by the Prior of Durham and the Archdeacon
of York, in connection with the interdict
under which the kingdom had been laid. These
two prelates made themselves very unpopular by
the mercenary spirit which they displayed; and a
monkish satirist voiced the irritation which they
aroused, in a strongly worded Latin poem, containing
amongst other terms of reproach and invective,
a denunciation of them as "tailards":
—
"Those clerics, both in treach'rous England born,
Are of the breed by whom long tails are worn".[328]
As regards the other instances supplied by the
chroniclers, it is noteworthy that the insult was, in
each case, avenged by the defeat of those who flung
it at their enemies. The first occasion on which
this is reported to have occurred was the battle of
Dunbar, in 1296. The Castle, at that time one of
the most important in Scotland, had been delivered
over to the Scottish leaders by the Countess of
Dunbar. Edward I at once sent John Plantagenet,
Earl of Warrenne and Surrey, to recapture it. The
garrison, conscious of its inability to hold out against
the ten thousand foot and the thousand heavy-armed
horse which the English leader commanded, agreed
to surrender to him if it were not relieved within
three days. In the meantime, John Baliol, anxious
to retain so important a stronghold, sent his whole
army of forty thousand foot and fifteen hundred
horse to its succour. When the besieged saw this
formidable force encamped on the heights above
Spot, they felt confident of success; and in their premature
exultation, they jeered at the English, calling
them "tailed dogs", and threatening not only to
kill them, but also to cut off their tails. Their
boasts were not justified by the result. In the engagement
that followed, the rashness of the Scots in
abandoning their favourable position proved disastrous.
Ten thousand of them fell on the field or
during the pursuit; and next day the Castle surrendered
at discretion to Edward, who came up from
Berwick with the remainder of his army.[329]
In the following year, Lord Robert Clifford made
an incursion into Annandale, at the head of twenty
thousand infantry, preceded by a body of only one
hundred cavalry. On passing the Solway, it was
proclaimed by sound of trumpet that every soldier
might plunder for himself and keep his own booty.
On hearing this welcome announcement, the infantry
dispersed over the country, and the horse alone
remained together and marched on Annan, where
the Scots, thinking they had to do with a mere
handful, received them with jeers and insults, as a
pack of "tailed" dogs. But when it came to actual
fighting, the heavy-armed cavalry proved too much
for the dalesmen. They were driven into marshy
ground, where they were easily overpowered by the
infantry that had hurried up to reinforce the vanguard.
Over three hundred of the Scots were slain,
many prisoners were taken; and before the Englishmen
returned to Carlisle with their booty, the destruction
of ten villages had given the scoffers
good reason to think less contemptuously of the
"tailards".[330]
At least once again the ill-omened cry was heard.
It was on the eve of the battle of Dupplin, which
was fought on the 12th of August, 1332, between
Edward Baliol, with his English supporters, and the
army of David II, under the Earl of Mar. Trusting
to their superior numbers and to their advantageous
position, the Scots were confident of success.
They spent a part of the night in drinking and in
singing songs that contained insulting reference to
"The English 'tailards', jeered at for their tails",
and they bragged that they would turn those same
tails to practical use, by binding their wearers, and
dragging them to the gallows with them.[331]
But the boastful Scots were beaten, and one of the chroniclers
who record their defeat, reminds them of Seneca's
saying, that never did proud joy stand on a sure
footing. "Now," he adds, by way of moral, "you
who, but the day before, declared you would make
ropes of the Englishmen's tails to bind them with,
are yourselves bound in real fetters."[332]
In Wright's collection of medieval political songs,
there are some doggerel verses, which are ascribed
to this same half of the fourteenth century, and
which probably refer to the driving out of the English
from some of the strongholds which they had
occupied. In his crabbed Latin, the writer, doubtless
some monkish patriot, bids Scotland rejoice at
the happy deliverance:
"The 'tails' appeared, a while they held their sway,
But now, at last, they've all been lopped away;
The 'tails' have gone, and fearlessly we may
Proclaim 'O Scotland, hail the happy day!'"[333]
Those lines, such as they are, may serve as a
connecting link between the historical instances of
the use of the derogatory appellation and those
which refer to no special incident, but are merely
adaptations of the old scoff for the purpose of
literary invective. The latter are not numerous;
but one of them is interesting from the fact that it
introduces the familiar "tails" under a new name.
It occurs in The Flyting of Dunbar and Kennedy,
that remarkable production which, though probably
nothing more than a jeu d'esprit, a kind of friendly
sparring-match between two adversaries "who give
each other plaguy knocks with all the love and
fondness of a brother", is assuredly one of the
most astonishing instances of verbal scurrility to be
found in literature. In this wordy tournament the
two poets allude in uncomplimentary language to
each other's family history, and Kennedy reproaches
Dunbar, who was a native of Lothian, with being
descended from a traitor, from Corspatrick, who,
"Throu his tressoun brocht Inglis 'rumpillis' in".[334]
John Skelton, a satirist of the late fifteenth and
the early sixteenth century, has preserved three
Latin hexameters in which a Scottish scholar, George
Dundas, at one time a professor at the University
of Aberdeen, scoffs at the English in the familiar
way, by alluding to their tails. The Englishman
himself, after the battle of Flodden, had written
against the Scots, with the scurrility which characterized
him and which made him obnoxious even to
his own countrymen; and it seems probable that
Dundas's lines occurred in a poem written as a retort.
The only connection between them, however,
consists in the repetition of the same idea in a
slightly different form; and it is hardly possible to
assume that they stood together, and are to be taken
as an epigram. It may also be noted that the first
of them is almost identical with one that is known
to have been current at a much earlier date:
"An Englishman's a dog, because we find
That, like a dog he bears a tail behind".
"Thou English 'tailard', hold thy tail with care,
For fear it drop from thee, at unaware."
"By reason of their tails, the English race
Must bear about a burden of disgrace."[335]
In whatever connection the lines may have appeared,
they provoked "the noble poet Skelton",
as he styles himself, to a reply which has for its
heading the statement that, "The most vile Scot,
Dundas, alleges that Englishmen have tails".
Apostrophizing him as a "shameless, noxious, foul-mouthed,
lying Scot", he asks him how he dares
utter such a slander. Then, dropping into macaronic
verses, he adorns them with such flowers of
vituperation as these:
This Dundas,
This Scottishe as,
He rymes and railes
That Englishmen have tailes.
Skelton Laureat
After this rate
Defendeth with his pen
All Englishmen
Agayn Dundas
The Scottishe as.
Shake thy tayle, Scot, like a cur,
For thou beggest at every mannes dur.
Tut, Scot, I sey,
Go, shake the, dog, hey!
Dundas of Galaway
With thy versyfyeng rayles
How they have tayles.[336]
Though recalled, some half a century later, by
the insulting piece of by-play which it suggested
to Mary Stuart's French courtiers, and at which, as
we have already recorded, Hatton and his countrymen
waxed so wroth, the "tailard" taunt is not
again heard in the story of the old feud between
England and Scotland. From the sixteenth century
to its final disappearance from use and even from
memory, it seems to have remained as exclusively
French as it doubtless was in its origin.
The use which some of the Latin chroniclers and
verse-makers make of the words caudatus and cauda
suggests that the former of these may have been
intended to bear the sense of "cowed" or "coward",
and the latter to symbolize the evil qualities, more
particularly, perhaps, the treachery ascribed to the
English. Thus, in Matthew of Paris, one, at least,
of Count Robert's insulting outbursts, though hardly
both, remains perfectly intelligible even if a figurative
rather than a literal meaning be given to the
epithet.[337]
And, again, when John Oxenedes, in his
account of the battle of Lewes, fought, in 1264,
between Henry III and the Barons, under Simon
of Montfort, places it in immediate juxtaposition to
"full of guile", "false", "unstable", and "dispirited",
it seems more natural to interpret it as a
reference to a moral defect than to take it as a taunt
at a physical deformity.[338]
As regards the substantive, a symbolical sense, not, indeed, excluding the
primary meaning, but rather taken in combination
with it, is obviously consistent with the anonymous
poetaster's advice to "cut off that poisonous tail".[339]
And the Annales Gandenses, the most noteworthy
chronicle of the closing years of the thirteenth and
the beginning of the fourteenth century, whilst
doubtless alluding to the popular belief in a real
caudal appendage worn by Englishmen, seem to
employ the word metaphorically in the passage
which records the incendiarism and the looting by
which the troops of Edward I disgraced themselves
in Ghent, where they had been cordially received
and hospitably entertained by the inhabitants in
1298. "The English, like the most ungrateful
men that they were," says the Minorite author,
"dragging after them their habitual tail, and eager
to plunder the town of Ghent and to slay those that
resisted them, set fire to it in four places, at the
four corners, so to speak, in order that the people
of Ghent, whilst endeavouring to extinguish the
conflagration, should be less careful about the
custody of their property."[340]
In the Eulogium Historiarum, too, there is a passage where the word
cauda occurs in such a connection as to make it
quite clear that the literal acceptation would be out
of place, the more so, indeed, from the circumstance
that the "tail" is bestowed, not on an
Englishman, but on a Scot, and on a Scot no less
genuine than Robert the Bruce. Referring to the
capture and punishment of the Scottish King's adherents,
the chronicler adds that Bruce himself
found safety in flight and concealment, but that
this did not in the least trouble Edward, who, now
that his enemy's tail was completely cut off, was
quite willing that he should wander about, wherever
he found it easiest to save his life.[341]
And if, in this instance, the amputation of the tail is a figure of
speech intended to convey the notion of reducing to
powerlessness, it might be argued, with some show
of reason, that, even when applied to Englishmen,
as in the lines which exultingly proclaim how the
French King made them harmless by submitting
them to similar treatment, the expression does not
necessarily imply the actual possession of a real tail.
This would add yet another passage to those which,
if they stood by themselves, would justify some
hesitation in accepting them as proofs of a serious
conviction as to the alleged anatomical peculiarity
of Englishmen. But when the fullest allowance
has been made for all of them, they do not appreciably
affect the evidence of the many witnesses who
not only testify to the general acceptance of the
phenomenon as an actual fact, but are also ready
with a reason for its cause and an explanation of its
origin. The first of these in age, and by no means
the least in point of standing and respectability, is
the biographer Goscelin. He is said to have been
born at or near Terouanne, and was originally a
monk in the monastery of St. Bertin, but was
brought over to England, possibly as early as 1053,
by Hermann, Bishop of Salisbury. Being a monk
at Canterbury, he became interested in the founder
of the see, and not only drew up an account of the
translation of Augustine, a ceremony at which he
was present, but also wrote a life of the Saint. He
professes to have based this work on older records;
and it may be assumed that it embodied local tradition
as it existed prior to the Norman Conquest.
It consists of two versions of the story of the life
of the Apostle of England. One of them, known
as the Historia Minor Sancti Augustini, is brief and
compendious. The other, or Historia Major as it is
called, which enjoys the distinction of having been
selected by the Bollandists for inclusion in their
Acta Sanctorum, whilst identical with it in substance,
has that greater fulness of details which its
title suggests.
Both texts relate an incident which is said to
have taken place in the province of Dorset, in a
little village which, for its heathenish impiety, is
likened to the nether regions themselves. There,
the devil-inspired inhabitants not only refused to
give the messenger of the Gospel a hearing, but
also raised a very storm of mocking and contumely
against the Saint and his companions. In their
shameless audacity, they fastened the tails of sea-fish
to the garments of the holy men. Indignant
at this sacrilegious outrage, the Spirit of the Lord,
through the mouth of Augustine, condemned those
who had committed it to perpetuate in themselves
and in all their posterity the ignominy to which they
had submitted the saints of God.[342]
Shorn of its miraculous and spiteful sequel, and
presented in a form to which critical history is not
compelled to raise objection, the same episode reappears
about the middle of the twelfth century,
that is, approximatively, a hundred years later, in
the Gesta Pontificum of William of Malmesbury.
The chronicler narrates how, at Cerne, in Dorsetshire,
the infuriated inhabitants, at the instigation of
the Evil One, attacked Augustine and his brethren,
and expelled them from their midst, after having
heaped insults upon them, and how they carried the
indignity of their conduct so far as to fasten the
tails of ray-fish, or skate, to the clothes of the
holy missionaries. The attitude which William of
Malmesbury credits Augustine with assuming in
the circumstances seems less in keeping with what
we elsewhere read of the Saint's temper than does
the vengeful sentence which Goscelin makes him
pronounce against the offenders. William says of
him that, for Christ's sake, he bore their affronts
patiently, modestly, and even joyfully, and shaking
against them the dust of his feet, retired a distance
of some three miles, as a precaution against further
irritating the insane anger of the poor people.[343]
When next the story of the insult offered to
Augustine reappears, the Divine vengeance, which
Goscelin hardly does more than suggest, is unhesitatingly
asserted, and is recorded with a fullness
of details such as medieval credulity would readily
accept as evidence of a genuine miracle. The writer
to whom we owe the legend in this complete form
is Robert Wace, of Jersey, the Anglo-Norman poet
and author of the Brut, a rhymed chronicle written
but a few years, probably not more than a decade,
after William of Malmesbury's Gesta Pontificum.
Differing from his predecessors who referred to a
small village as the scene of the incident, Wace lays
it in Dorchester itself, although the conduct which
he attributes to its inhabitants seems in keeping with
rural coarseness rather than with the more refined
civilization of a county town:
"Saint Austine came and to the heathen folk
He preached God's law. Full earnestly he spoke;
But they, as men by nature vile and naught,
Were careless of the holy truths he taught;
And even as he stood before them, there,
—One sent by God, God's precepts to declare—
They fastened to his garments tails of ray,
And with those tails they drove the Saint away.
Then Austine prayed that, for His servant's sake,
The judgment of the Lord might overtake
The impious scoffers and His wrath proclaim
Against the men who did the deed of shame.
And so it was and shall be through all time,
In punishment of their detested crime:
For, sooth to say, to every man among
The rabble rout by whom the tails were hung
There grew a tail; and thus, for evermore
This token of disgrace the tailards bore;
And all their progeny, from sire to son,
Have suffered for the deed which then was done;
And so 'tis now, for all the kith and kin
Are tailards, too, in memory of the sin
Incurred by those who, lewd and reprobate,
Defiled the friend of God with tails of skate."[344]
Some fifty years after Robert Wace wrote his
Brut, Layamon translated, or rather, paraphrased and
expanded the poem. In this Old English version
of it, St. Augustine's adventure is enriched by the
addition of further details. Layamon's most interesting
contribution to the history of the development
of the legend consists of the information that
an exaggerated notion as to the extent of the Saint's
vengeance had, by this time, got abroad, and that
foreigners now credited all Englishmen indiscriminately
with the tails which the transgressors themselves
and their posterity had alone been condemned
to bear. That those tails were called "muggles",
and that the men whom they disgraced were nicknamed
"mugglings", are further circumstances for
the knowledge of which we are indebted to Layamon.
And the fact that, whilst one manuscript of his poem
follows Wace with regard to the locality of the
incident, another transfers it from Dorchester to
Rochester, suggests a desire on the part of the
scribe to exonerate the West Country, with which
he may possibly have been connected.[345]
In Sir F. Madden's prose rendering of the old English Brut,
the whole episode is thus given:
"And so St. Austin drew southward, so that he
came to Dorchester; there he found the worst men
that dwelt in the land. He told them God's lore,
and they had him in derision; he taught them
Christendom, and they grinned at him. Where
the Saint stood, and his clerks with him, and spake
of Christ, as was ever their custom, there they approached
to their injury, and took tails of rays and
hanged them on his cope, on each side. And they
ran beside, and threw at him with the bones, and
afterwards attacked him with grievous stones. And
so they did him shame and drove him out of the
place. To St. Austin they were odious, and he
became exceeding wroth; and he proceeded five
miles from Dorchester, and came to a mount that
was mickle and fair; there he lay on his knees in
prayer and called ever toward God, that he should
avenge him of the cursed folk, who had dishonoured
him with their evil deeds. Our Lord heard him, in
heaven, and sent his vengeance on the wretched folk
that hanged the rays' tails on the clerks. The tails
came on them—therefore they be tailed! Disgraced
was all the race, for muggles they had; and in each
company men call them mugglings, and every freeman
speaketh foul of them, and English freemen in
foreign lands have a red face for the same deed,
and many a good man's son, in strange lands, who
never came there nigh, is called base."[346]
The same occurrence is related in the English
prose version of the Brut, with the addition of aggravating
circumstances of violence and contumely.
But what imparts special interest to the passage is
the mention of the ingenious means adopted for
the purpose of evading the hereditary curse:
"And in the menewhile that the peple turnede
ham to God, seynt Austyn came to Rochestre and
there prechede Goddis worde. The paynnemys
therefor him scornede and caste uppon hym reyghe
tayles, so that al his mantel was hongede ful of
reyghe tailes; and for more despite thai keste uppon
hym the guttis of reyghes and of other fysshe,
wherefore the good man seynt Austyn was sore
anoyede and grevede, and prayede to God that alle
the childerne that shulde be borne afterward in that
citee of Rochestre muste have tayles. And wherre
the kyng herde and wiste of this vengaunce that was
falle thurghe seynt Austynus praier, he lette make
one howse in the honoure of God, wherein wymmen
shulde have hire childerne, at the brugges ende: in
whiche howse wymmen yette of the citee be delyveride
of child."[347]
The Story of Inglande, written by Robert Manning
of Brunne, in 1338, contains a section which has the
marginal summary, "Qua de causa Anglici vocantur
Caudati". In his explanation of the reason why
Englishmen are called "tailards", Manning closely
follows Wace, some of whose lines, indeed, he
translates with literal accuracy. He closes his narrative
of the incident, however, in the same manner
as does Layamon, with a protest against the unfairness
of attributing to all Englishmen indiscriminately
the degrading stigma inflicted on a few only of his
countrymen:
"But there he stod them to preche
And ther savacion for to teche;
Byhynd hym on his clothes they henge
Righe taillis on a strenge.
When they had don that vyleny
They drof hym thenne wyth maistri;
Fer weys they gan hym chace;
Tailles they casten in hys face.
Thys holy man God bisought,
For they hym that vileny wrought,
That on them and on al their kynde
Tailled alle men schulde hem fynde;
And God graunted al that he bad,
For alle that kynde tailles had—
Taillis hadde and tailles have;
Fro that vengaunce non may them save;
For they wyth tailles the goodeman schamed,
For tailles al Englische kynde ys blamed;
In manie sere londes seyd
Of tho tailles we have umbreyde."[348]
The Bibliothéque Nationale possesses a manuscript,[349]
which is ascribed by experts to the fourteenth
century, and in which the legend of St. Augustine
and the tails—no longer those of ray-fish, however—supplies
materials for a quaint satire against the
inhabitants of Rochester. It begins with a mock-serious
discussion as to the species of animals to
which they belong. That they are not men is quite
clear, for they have tails, and Aristotle has conclusively
established that men have no tails. And yet
those strange animals have something human about
them, too—they reason and have laws. For all that,
however, there remains the stern fact that they bear
tails, and this quite precludes the possibility of classing
them as perfect human beings. In the course
of the satire reference is naturally made to the outrage
of which St. Augustine was the victim. After
giving an account of the saint's mission to England,
the anonymous author continues: "As he went
about from city to city, preaching, it happened that
he preached in the city which is called Rochester.
But, whilst he was preaching, the inhabitants of the
city flocked together about him, and, deeming his
words to be lies, subjected him to many insults.
After reviling him with opprobrious words, they
fastened tails of swine and of cows to the skirt of
his garments, spat into his face, and drove him out
of the city."[350]
The saint prayed that they who had
insulted him might be punished, to the end that the
divinity of his mission should be brought home to
them. At the conclusion of his prayer, he wept
bitterly, but was comforted by receiving the assurance
that his petition would be granted. And so,
God, wishing to avenge the insult done to Him and
to his servant, ordained that all who, from that time,
might be born in the city of Rochester, should have
tails, after the fashion of swine. And nothing could
be done to prevent their having tails. From that
day to this, the natives of Rochester have been
tailed, and they shall remain tailed for ever. It is
consequently evident that they are not human beings.
Amongst the inconveniences resulting from this
peculiarity of theirs, is that of not being able to
sit down when they are angry; for, at such a time,
their tails stand erect, as is the case with other
animals.[351]
During the fourteenth century, too, the myth, in
its restricted and local form, makes its appearance
in Continental literature, other than that of France.
It is referred to by Fazio degli Uberti, an Italian
poet who lived between 1326 and 1360, and whom
D. G. Rossetti deals with and translates in his
work Italian Poets chiefly before Dante. In a description
of England which Fazio gives in the Ditta
Mondo, he says:
"Now this I saw not; but so strange a thing
It was to hear, and by all men confirmed,
That it is fit to note it as I heard,
To wit, there is a certain islet here
Among the rest where folk are born with tails,—
Short as are found in stags and suchlike beasts".[352]
Fazio is probably Boccaccio's authority for the
statement, unaccompanied with any further details,
however, that "certain Englishmen were born with
tails".[353]
The chronicle which is commonly known as Alexander
of Essebye's, and which exists in manuscript
only, has been quoted as briefly stating that "when
fish tails were despitefully thrown at him by certaine
men of Dorsetshire", St. Augustine "was so furiously
vexed therewith that he called upon God for revenge
and He forthwith heard him and strake them with
tails for their punishment". Greater interest attaches
to the story as told in the English version of the
Golden Legende. Though not less credulous than
were his predecessors as to the punishment inflicted
on the impious people who insulted the saint, the
writer who interpolated the narrative—for it does
not appear in the Latin original—prepares the way
of the sceptic by limiting the duration of the penalty,
and by testifying with an earnestness suggestive of
personal knowledge to the immunity of some, at
least, of those who were believed to be stricken for
the transgression of their forefathers:
"After this Saynt Austyn entryd into Dorsetshyre
and came into a towne whereas were wycked peple
and refused his doctryne and prechyng utterly, and
droof him out of the towne, castyng on him the
tayles of thornback or like fisshes, wherefor he besought
Almyghty God to shewe his jugement on
them, and God sente to them a shameful token, for
the children that were borne after in that place had
tayles, as it is said, tyl they had repented them. It
is sayd comynly that thys fyl at Strode in Kente;
but, blessyd be God, at this day is no such deformyte."[354]
By the middle of the fifteenth century, the legend
of the tails had undergone important modifications.
The original account of the outrage and of its
punishment was still current; but, by the side of it,
there existed several versions which affected not
merely the circumstances of time and place, but also
the individuality of the persons concerned in the
incident. We are indebted to Walter Bower, who
expanded and continued Fordun's Scotichronicon, for
an interesting passage in which the old story and
its subsequent variants are presented together. The
Scottish chronicler, taking Wace's narrative as his
starting-point, relates that when St. Augustine was
preaching the word of life to the heathen, amongst
the West Saxons, in the county of Dorset, he came
to a certain town where no one would receive him
or listen to his preaching. They opposed him rebelliously
in everything, contradicted all he said, did
their utmost to distort his actions, on which they
put sinister interpretations, and, impious to relate,
carried their audacity so far as to sew and hang fish
tails to his garments. But what they intended as
an insult to the holy father brought eternal disgrace
on themselves and on their posterity, and opprobrium
on their unoffending country. He smote
them in the hinder parts and cast lasting shame
upon them by causing similar tails to grow both on
their own persons and on those of their offspring.
And here the Abbot of Inchcolm becomes particularly
interesting by reason of the wholly new information
which he imparts. He states that there was
a special name for the punitive tail. "Such a tail,"
he says, "is called Mughel by the natives, in the
language of their country; and because of this, the
place where St. Augustine was thus insulted received
the name of Muglington, that is, the town
of the Muglings, and still bears it at the present
day." It is to be regretted that the topographical
indication is not more definite. The modern map
of England knows no Muglington. Wherever it
may have been, it would seem that it did not stand
alone as a monument of St. Augustine's power and
spite. According to Bower, it is also related that
a similar indignity was done to him in the province
of Mercia, by the inhabitants of a town called
Thamewyth. But they were not allowed to go
unpunished either; for, "as is known to all", they
were put to shame by the infliction of the like opprobrious
punishment.
It is from its concluding part, however, that
Bower's account derives its chief importance and its
value as a contribution to the history of the development
of the myth. "Something similar," he says,
"happened at a later period, during the exile of
St. Thomas, Primate of England, when the people
of Rochester, intending it as an insult to him,
docked his horse's tail. But their iniquitous action
was foiled of its purpose and recoiled on themselves;
for it was found that thenceforth all the children
born in that place were tailed."[355]
From this we first
learn that a new character had by this time assumed
a part in the story. Hitherto, the responsibility for
having endowed Englishmen with tails had rested
with St. Augustine alone. And his monopoly of
the doubtful honour had endured through four
centuries. Henceforth, though he was not to disappear
altogether, he was to have a rival.
In the case of Becket, as in that of his predecessor,
there was a basis of historical fact on which to build
up a legend.
The chroniclers Ralph de Diceto, Roger de Hoveden,
and both William and Gervase of Canterbury,[356]
who record the murder of Becket, and whose proximity,
in point of time, to the events that took place
on those memorable December days of the year
1170, gives them indisputable authority, all agree
in narrating, with such slight variations in matters
of detail as serve to show that they did not merely
repeat each other, an incident which happened to
the Archbishop shortly before his death. They
state that Robert Broc, a groom of the royal bedchamber,
who, together with Nigel de Sacheville,
incumbent of Harrow, was solemnly excommunicated
by the Primate, on Christmas day, had cut
off the tail of Becket's horse, as an insult to its
owner. According to the two brother-monks, the
Archbishop made direct reference to this indignity
in his interview with the four conspirators, Reginald
Fitzurse, Hugh de Moreville, William de Tracy,
and Richard le Breton. "The tail of a mare in my
service," he said, "has been shamefully cut off, as
if I could be disgraced by the docking of a brute
beast."[357]
It was not, however, for this cowardly and
contemptible act of spite that Broc was excommunicated,
but because, being a layman, he had appropriated
ecclesiastical revenues. And, though William
of Canterbury records that the very dogs refused
to be fed by the hand of the man whom the Prelate
had banned, neither he nor any of the other
chroniclers refers to the infliction of tails on him
or his posterity. It was only at a later date, and
when Broc had been lost sight of, as the perpetrator
of the outrage, that the miraculous punishment was
thought of.
Although there is the evidence of Bower to show
that, in his day, Becket's name had already begun
to be connected with the legend of the tails, Augustine
still continues to hold his own through the
whole of the first half of the sixteenth century. It
is he who figures as the hero, or the victim, in the
account given by John Major, an account which is
noteworthy by reason of the very cautious spirit in
which it is written. It may be said to mark the
beginning of a transition from unquestioning credulity
to uncompromising scepticism. It also seems
to imply that, so far as the author's reading of the
chroniclers extended, he found the English, if not
yet ready to deny the supernatural punishment of
the insult offered to the saint, at least convinced
that it had not been perpetuated through the ages.
The chapter in which Major recapitulates the old
story, is mainly devoted to the outward form and
appearance of the English, and contains a great deal
about "skiey influence". Thus, it comes of "skiey
influence" that close by the Arctic pole people are
of foul aspect. And, if in some parts of Africa
men are born with the head of a dog, "this, too, is
a matter of skiey influence and carries with it no
other influence". After this preamble the author
proceeds to relate the conversion of Kent—how
Augustine laboured so strenuously that, in a short
space of time, he brought to the faith the king himself
and almost the whole people; how, passing on
to Rochester, he began there, too, to preach the
word of God; and how the common people derided
him, and threw fish tails at the holy man. "Wherefore
Augustine made his prayer to God that, for
punishment of this sin, their infants should be born
with tails, to the end they might be warned not to
contemn the teachers of divine things. And, for
this reason, as the English chroniclers relate, the
infants were born with tails; but for a time only,
and to the end that an unbelieving race might give
credence to their teacher, was this punishment inflicted."
The Scots and the Gauls, it is true, "assert
the opposite". But, Major "cannot agree with
them". And, further, the phenomenon having been
only temporary, he gives it as his opinion that it
had "very little to do with the skiey influence".[358]
Nicole Gilles whose "very elegant and copious
annals of Gaul" were published in 1531, being a
French chronicler, is one of those who believe that
the divine anger has not ceased to manifest itself,
and that the descendants of the men of Dorchester,
who mocked and derided St. Augustine, still have
"tails behind, like brute beasts, and are therefore
called tailed Englishmen". It is worthy of notice
that, owing, doubtless, to the misreading of some
Latin text and to the intelligible confusion of raia
or raria, both of which are used to translate "rayfish",
with the more familiar rana, Gilles makes the
impious Dorchestrians hang frogs—"des raynes ou
grenouilles"—to St. Augustine's garments.[359]
Bellenden, who belonged to the next generation,
took the liberty of introducing the Augustinian
myth into his Scottish prose rendering of Hector
Boece, although there was nothing in the Latin
original to justify him in doing so.
"Quhen this haly man, Sanct Austine, wes
precheand to the Saxonis in Miglintoun," he says,
"thay wer nocht onlie rebelland to his precheing,
but in his contemptioun thay sewit fische talis on
his abilyements. Otheris alliegis thay dang him
with skait rumpillis. Nochtheless, this derisioun
succedit to thair gret displesoure: for God tuke on
thaim sic vengeance, that thay and thair posteritie
had lang talis mony yeris eftir. In memorie heirof,
the barnis that are yit borne in Miglintoun hes the
samin deformite, but the wemen havand experience
thairof fleis out of this toun in the time of thair
birth and eschapis this malediction be that way."[360]
Bower and the prose Brut are obviously the
authorities for Bellenden's statements, and it is not
without interest to note that whilst drawing from
the latter his knowledge of the subterfuge by means
of which cunning mothers might secure for their
children immunity from the consequences of the
saint's vindictiveness, it is from his Scottish predecessor
that he takes the name of the town which
witnessed the affront, and in which the punishment
was perpetuated. And the question arises whether
the chronicler's apparently deliberate choice of
Miglinton is to be taken as evidence that a place
bearing that name, or rather nickname, really existed.
Though Dunbar's brief reference to the insult
offered to St. Augustine proves nothing beyond his
acquaintance with the legend, it may be quoted, for
the sake of completeness. It occurs in the Flyting
with Kennedy, at whom his adversary flings the jeer,
"he that dang Sanct Augustine with an rumple
Thy fowll front had".[361]
The Frenchman Génébrard is the last of those
who, as long as the story continued to be accepted
or, at least, not openly scouted, connected it with
Augustine. He confines himself to recording the
outrage, and to stating, with due caution, that,
because of it, the people of Dorchester "are said to
have had tails like beasts". His own belief in the
prodigy does not appear to have been very firm.[362]
Of those who, after Bower, present St. Thomas
as the central figure in the incident, the first in
date is a foreigner, Wilwolt of Schaumburg. This
German gentleman errant visited England about the
end of the fifteenth century, and an account of his
travels was published in 1507. He appears to have
been greatly impressed by the story of St. Thomas
of Candlwerg, as he calls him, and relates how
"he left behind him a wonderful token which will
perhaps endure to the day of judgment". On one
occasion, he says, riding like a pious and upright
man, on his little ass, the holy man came to a certain
village where he stopped to take some food. Here
the country folk made fun of his lowly mount, and
cut off the poor ass's tail. Thereupon, the dear
saint complained to Almighty God, and prayed to
such purpose that, even to this very day, all the
boys that are born in that village bring with them
into the world little tails rooted to their hinder parts.
From this circumstance has arisen the byword
which so greatly annoys the English: "Englishman,
show your tail!" And continues Wilwolt, "I
should like to see the foolhardy man who dared to
call out, 'English tailard' in that same village. He
would have to take himself off very quickly if he
did not wish to be beaten to death." The German
traveller also learnt how, at the right moment,
women could avert from the expected child the
grievous consequences of its forefathers' fault.
They only had to cross the water and go into the
next village.[363]
Another and better known foreigner, no less a
personage, indeed, than Polydore Vergil, continues,
at the same time that he considerably restricts, the
legend of the tails. As narrated by him in the
Anglica Historia, published in 1534, Becket's misadventure
appears to have been one of the minor
incidents in the quarrel between him and the king.
It had become known that Henry had been moved
to exclaim, "Wretched me! Can I not have peace
in my own kingdom because of one priest? Is
there none of all my subjects who will rid me of
that annoyance?" And there were not wanting evil
men who understood this to mean that, in his heart,
he desired the death of the Archbishop who, in
consequence, began to be generally neglected, despised,
and hated. Such was the position of affairs
when Thomas one day came to Stroud, on the
Medway, near Rochester. There, the inhabitants,
anxious to inflict some insult on the good father,
now that he was in disgrace, did not hesitate to cut
off the tail of the horse on which he was riding.
By this act, however, it was on themselves that they
brought lasting shame. For, by the judgment of
God, it happened that the descendants of the men
who had perpetrated this outrage were born with
tails, like brute beasts. But if the learned Italian
was superstitious enough to believe in the miraculous
punishment of an offence which, at its worst, involved
far less moral guilt than was incurred by the
murderers of Becket, against whom no divine retribution
was recorded, he was too intelligent not
to see the absurdity of making it perpetual, and of
inflicting it on the community at large, as earlier
chroniclers had done. He admitted that the mark
of infamy had not survived the family of the immediate
offenders.[364]
The next and last writer of what may be called
the period of credulity, though that credulity had
begun to wane long before it reached its vanishing
phase in him, was Guillaume Paradin, of Cuiseaux.
He confesses to a suspicion that what tradition has
handed down concerning the tails of Englishmen is
mere nonsense, and apologizes for reproducing it,
on the score that English chroniclers themselves
report it quite seriously. The Becket legend which
he thus introduces affords him an opportunity of
adapting to the English the words of the Royal
prophet, "He smote them in the hinder parts and
put them to a perpetual shame"; and of perpetrating,
at their expense, some doggerel lines of which
he has the good sense not to acknowledge the
authorship:—
Of old, some Britons docked the tail
Of Becket's nag, they say,
And that is why all Englishmen
Have short tails to this day.[365]
By the middle of the sixteenth century, saints had
ceased to command the same popular reverence as
before, and their alleged miracles were put by many
on the same level as the myths of antiquity. There
is, consequently, from that date onwards an absolute
change in the tone and temper of those who
allude to the legend of the tails. Most of them,
indeed, do so for the sole purpose of denying the
miracle and of sneering at those who superstitiously
gave it credence. The first and not least indignant
of the denunciators is John Bale, Bishop of Ossory.
After indicating the discrepancy between John Capgrave
and Alexander of Esseby—that is, Ashby—who
record that, "for castynge of fyshe tayles at
thys Augustine, Dorsett shyre men had tayles ever
after", and Polydore Vergil, who "applyeth it unto
Kentysh men at Stroude, by Rochester, for cuttynge
of Thomas Beckett's horse's tayle", the author of the
Actes of Englysh Votaryes says: "Thus hath England,
in all other landes, a perpetual dyffamy of tayles by
their wrytten legendes of lyes, yet can they not wele
tell where to bestowe them trulye".[366]
In another passage he inveighs still more bitterly against "the
Spiritual Sodomytes" who "in the legends of their
sanctyfied sorcerers", have "dyffamed the Englyshe
posteryte with tayles", and to whom it is due "that
an Englishman now cannot travayle in any other
lande by way of merchandyce or anye other honest
occupyenge, but yt ys most contumelyousslye
throwne in his teeth, that all Englishmen have
tayles". And concludes the Bishop in his wrath,
"that uncomlye note and report have the nacyon
gotten without recover, by these laysye and idell
lubbers, the munkes and the prestes, whiche coulde
fynde no matters to advance their canonysed Cayns
by, or their Sayntes (as they call them) but manyfest
lyes and knaveryes".[367]
Bale's Actes appeared in 1546. Seventy years later,
William Lambarde published a Perambulation of Kent.
Coming to Stroud, in this topographical and historical
account of his native county, he eagerly avails
himself of the opportunity offered him to record his
protest against the attribution of tails, not only to
the natives of that locality, but to the Kentish men
generally, and that—unkindest cut of all—by their
own fellow countrymen. He is evidently acquainted
with several versions of the story; but whilst denouncing
the authors of all of them, he is particularly
incensed against Polydore, whom he quite unjustly
accuses of "lashing out further" than his authorities,
and of endeavouring "to outly the lowdest Legendaries".
It is bad enough that "the whole English
nation should be earnestly flowted" with the "dishonourable
note" of having tails; but what Lambarde
obviously finds it more difficult to bear, and makes
Polydore responsible for, is that "Kentish men be
heere at home merily mocked". In his most entertaining
contribution to the history of the legend, the
Kentish apologist says:
"A name, or family of men, sometime inhabiting
Stroude (saith Polydore) had tailes clapped to their
breeches by Thomas Becket, for revenge and punishment
of a dispite done to him, in cutting of the
taile of his horse. The author of the new Legend
saith, that after St. Thomas had excommunicated
two Brothers (called Brockes) for the same cause,
that the Dogges under the table would not once
take bread at their hands. Such (belike) was the
vertue of his curse, that it gave to brute beasts,
a discretion and knowledge of the persons, that
were in danger of it. Boetius (the Scotishe chronicler)
writeth, that the lyke plague lighted upon the
men of Midleton in Dorsetshire: who because
they threwe Fish tailes in great contempt at Saint
Augustine, were bothe themselves and their posteritie,
stricken with tailis, to their perpetual infamy
and punishment. All whiche their reportes (no
doubt) be as true, as Ovides Historie of Diana,
that in great angre bestowed on Actæon a Deares
head with mighty anthlers.
"Much are the Western men bound (as you see)
to Polydore, who taking the miracle from Augustine,
applieth it to S. Thomas, and removing the infamous
revenge from Dorsetshire, laieth it upon
our men of Kent. But little is Kent, or the whole
English nation beholding, either to him, or his
fellowes, who (amongst them) have brought upon
us this ignominie and note with other nations
abrode, that many of them believe as verity, that
we have long tailes and be monsters by nature, as
other men have their due partes and members in
usual number. Polydore (the wisest of the companye)
fearing that issue might be taken upon the
matter, ascribeth it to one speciall stocke and family,
which he nameth not, and yet (to leave it the more
uncertain) he saith, that, that family is worne out
long since, and sheweth not when; he goeth about
in great earnest (as in sundrie other things) to
make the world beleave he cannot tell what: he
had forgotten the Lawe whereunto an Hystorian is
bound, 'Ne quid falsi audeat, ne quid veri non
audeat'. That he should be bold as to tell the
trueth, and yet not so bolde as to tell a lye."
To his credit, however, Lambarde does Polydore
the justice of admitting that his history, "without
all doubt", is "a worthy work", in places not
blemished with such follies. But, seeing that he
does insert them often and without discretion, he
must be read with great suspicion and wariness.
"For, as he was by office Collector of the Peter
pence to the Popes gaine and lucre, so sheweth he
himselfe throughout by profession, a coveteous
gatherer of lying fables, fained to advance the
Popish religion, kingdome and myter."[368]
In the seventeenth century, the story of the tails,
which, by that time, however, had ceased to be
attributed to Englishmen at large and were humorously
regarded as distinctive of Kentish men alone,
was incidentally referred to by several poets. It
supplied Sir John Mennis, the author of Musarum
Deliceæ, with a coarse joke. Andrew Marvel, in
his Loyal Scot, cites it in illustration of the danger
incurred by provoking the anger of a prelate:—
"There's no 'Deliver us' from a Bishop's wrath:
Never shall Calvin pardoned be for sales,
Never, for Burnet's sake, the Lauderdales;
For Becket's sake, Kent always shall have tails."[369]
In Drayton's Polyolbion, the "Blazons of the
Shires", as set forth by Helidon, open with the lines:
"Kent first in our account, doth to itself apply
(Quoth he) this Blazon first, 'Long tails and Liberty!'"[370]
Butler, in his Hudibras, has a couplet which
declares that:
tails by nature sure were meant
As well as beards, for ornament.
According to an annotator, "Mr. Butler here
alludes to Dr. Bulwer's Artificial Changeling", where,
besides the story of the Kentish men, near Rochester,
who had tails clapped to their breeches by Thomas
à Becket, he gives an account, on the authority of
"an honest young man of Captain Morris's company
in Lieutenant-General Ireton's company", of
how "at Cashell in the County of Tipperary, in the
province of Munster, in Carrick Patrick church,
seated on a hill or rock, stormed by the Lord
Inchequine, and where were neare 700 put to the
sword and none saved but the Mayor's wife and
his son, there were found among the slain of the
Irish, when they were stript, divers with tailes
near a quarter of a yard long. The relator being
very diffident of the truth of this story, after
enquiry was ensured of the certainty thereof by
forty souldiers, that testified upon their oaths that
they were eyewitnesses, being present at the
action." With such testimony in support of his
assertion that "the rump bone among brutish and
strong-docht nations doth often spread out with
such an excrescence or beastly emanation", Dr. Bulwer
is not disinclined to believe in the possession
of tails by the inhabitants of Stroud.
In the Church History of Britain by Dr. Bulwer's
contemporary, Thomas Fuller, modern scepticism
again asserts itself. Quoting from Hierome Porter,
in the Flowers of the Lives of the Saints, to the effect
that when the villagers in Dorsetshire beat Augustine
and his fellows, and in mockery fastened fish tails
at their backs, in punishment hereof, "all that
generation had that given them by nature, which
so contemptibly they fastened on the backs of these
holy men", Fuller adduces this to show that "most
of the miracles assigned unto Augustine, intended
with their strangeness to raise and heighten, with
their levity and absurdity do depress and offend,
true devotion". In equal contempt of those who
relate such a story as that of the Dorsetshire folk
and of those who accept it, the author exclaims,
"Fie for shame! He needs an hard plate on his
face that reports it, and a soft place in his head that
believes it".[371]
In his Worthies of England, the same writer
discusses at some length the origin of the nickname
applied to the Kentish men. "Let me premise,"
he says, "that those are much mistaken, who first
found the proverb on a miracle of Austin the
Monk, for the scene of this lying wonder was
not laied in any part of Kent, but pretended many
miles off, nigh Cerne in Dorsetshire." His own
opinion is that the saying is "first of outlandish
extraction and cast by Forrainers as a note of
disgrace on all the English, though it chanceth to
stick only on the Kentish men at this day". In
support of this view, Fuller relates the incident
of the quarrel "betwixt Robert, Brother of Saint
Louis, King of France and our William Longspee,
Earle of Salisbury". Continuing his disquisition
he says:—
"Some will have the English so-called from wearing
a pouch or poake (a bag to carry their baggage
in) behind their backs, whilst probably the proud
Monsieurs had their lacquies for that purpose; in
proof whereof, they produce ancient Pictures of the
English Drapery and Armory, wherein such conveyances
doe appear. If so, it was neither sin nor
shame for the common sorte of people to carry their
own necessaries; and it matters not much whether
the pocket be made on either side, or wholly behind.
If any demand how this nickname (cut off from the
rest of England) continues still entailed on Kent.
The best conjecture is, because that County lieth
nearest to France, and the French are beheld as the
first founders of this aspersion. But if any will
have the Kentish men so-called from drawing and
dragging boughs of trees behind them, which afterwards
they advanced above their heads, and so
partly cozened, partly threatened, King William the
Conqueror to continue their ancient customes; I
say, if any will impute it to this original, I will not
oppose."[372]
The incident upon which Fuller bases the explanation
which he considers most plausible, without,
however, expressing himself dogmatically with regard
to it, is related by the chronicler Willam
Thorne, and also forms the subject of an old ballad
quoted by Thierry. So modern an historian as
Lappenberg thinks that "perhaps the tradition is
not unfounded, that the Kentish army, advancing
under the covering of branches from the trees,
might have appeared to the enemy as a wood, until,
standing in face of them and casting down their
leafy screen, they at once appeared threatening with
sword and spear". Freeman rejects the story altogether.
But even its truth, which Fuller may be
excused for accepting, would hardly support his
theory. The only credit which it deserves is perhaps
the negative one of being a little less fanciful
than that put forward by Fynes Moryson, who states
that "the Kentish men of old were said to have
tayles, because trafficking in the Low Countries,
they never paid full payments of what they did
owe, but still left some part unpaid".[373]
The author of the early sixteenth-century Mad
Pranks and Merry Jests of Robin Goodfellow, contributes
no less than three other explanations, of
which one bears considerable resemblance to that
favoured by Fuller. After relating how he dropped
into an alehouse, whilst travelling in "that noble
county of Kent", he continues:—
"The ale being good, and I in good company,
I lapt in so much of this nappy liquor, that it begot
in mee a boldnesse to talk and desire of them to
know what was the reason that the people of that
country were called Long-tayles. The hoast said,
all the reason that ever he could heare was, because
the people of that country did use to goe in side-skirted
coates. There is (sayd an old man that sat
by) another reason that I have heard: that is this.
In the time of the Saxons' conquest of England
there were divers of our countrymen slaine by
treachery, which made those that survived more
carefull in dealing with their enemies, as you shall
heare. After many overthrowes that our countrymen
had received by the Saxons, they dispersed
themselves into divers companies into the woods,
and so did much damage by their suddaine assaults
to the Saxons, that Hengist, their king, hearing the
damage that they did (and not knowing how to
subdue them by force) used this policy. Hee sent
to a company of them and gave them his word for
their liberty and safe returne, if they would come
unarmed and speake with him. This they seemed
to grant unto, but for their more security (knowing
how little hee esteemed oaths or promises) they went
every one of them armed with a shorte sword, hanging
just behind under their garments, so that the
Saxons thought not of any weapons they had: but
it proved otherwise, for when Hengist his men (that
were placed to cut them off) fell all upon them,
they found such unlooked a resistance that most
of the Saxons were slain, and they that escaped,
wond'ring how they could do that hurt, having no
weapons (as they saw), reported that they strucke
downe men like lyons with their tayles; and so
they, ever after, were called Kentish Long-tayles.
I told them this was strange, if true, and that their
countries honor bound them more to believe in this,
than it did me. Truly, Sir, said my hoastesse, I
thinke we are called Long-tayles, by reason our tales
are long, that we use to passe the time withall, and
make ourselves merry."
Du Cange considered the problem more seriously,
without, however, being able to find a satisfactory
solution. He suggests that the epithet "tailed"
may have been applied to Englishmen because of
the excess to which they carried the fashion of wearing
toes of extravagant length to their shoes, but
admits that the explanation does not greatly appeal
to him. With still more diffidence he hints at the
possibility of considering the Latin "caudatus" as
equivalent to either "foppish" or "cowardly". But
whilst none of the cited instances of its use justifies
the former of these interpretations, there are only a
very few of them that can be strained into imparting
even slight plausibility to the latter. Neither does
there appear to be anything to support Professor
Wattenbach's suggestion that Englishmen may have
been called "tailed" because of the way in which
they wore their hair. Finally, a work entitled
England under the Normans has a chapter on the
measurement of land, in which the author states
that "there was a mile peculiar to Kent, as well as
a customary field admeasurement", and that "these
'long tales' are possibly the 'long tails' of which
the county used to be so proud". The history of
the medieval myth does not lead to the belief that
either Englishmen generally, or, as here stated,
Kentishmen in particular, ever looked upon the
nickname otherwise than as an insult.
The attempts that have been made to fix upon
some actual fact as originating the attribution of
tails to Englishmen seem as uncalled for as most of
them are fanciful and absurd.[374]
They are all based on the hypothesis that the epithet "caudatus",
"coué", and "tailard" was first applied for some
reason other than the belief in the existence of a
tail, and that only subsequently, if, indeed, ever,
was it taken literally. But our investigation has
proved that there is nothing to warrant this assumption.
It has been shown that, on the contrary,
the actual monstrosity was accepted as a fact from
the outset. Nor does it seem impossible to explain
how this came about. Given the insult offered to
St. Augustine, about which there is no room for
scepticism, it only requires a knowledge of the
medieval spirit to account for the sequel. Impressed
by the sanctity of the apostle of England and by
the greatness, or, indeed, the divinity of his mission,
the early biographer looked upon it as inevitable
that the sacrilege of those who dishonoured him
should draw down upon them the wrath of Heaven.
Was not the disrespect of the children who called
the Prophet "bald head" visited upon them? The
conviction that this should be the case easily led to
the assumption that it was. And a very slight
effort of imagination sufficed to devise a punishment
suited to the offence. It was suggested by
the very nature of the impious deed. And what,
to the chronicler, seemed the application of an
obvious principle—that the transgression should
fall back upon the transgressor—was accepted by
the credulity of the age. Then there was the
animosity of other nations, of France in particular,
and of Scotland, her ally. If, at home, the manifestation
of divine anger and of saintly power was
thought to be limited to the kith and kin of the
offenders, such nicety of distinction was ignored
abroad. It suited the enemies of England that all
Englishmen should be "tailards", and "tailards"
they were universally and indiscriminately called.