Humorous Hits

About this eBook

Compiler

Kleiser, Grenville, 1868-1953

Title

Humorous Hits and How to Hold an Audience A Collection of Short Selections, Stories and Sketches for All Occasions

Credits

Produced by Chris Curnow, Robert Morse, Anna Whitehead and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net

Language

English

LoC Class

PN: Language and Literatures: Literature: General, Criticism, Collections

Subject

Comedy sketches

Category

Text

eBook-No.

47194

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/47194

Release Date

October 25, 2014

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.HUMOROUS HITS AND How to Hold an Audience
2. 2.INTRODUCTORY
3. 3.CONTENTS
4. 4.PART I HOW TO HOLD AN AUDIENCE — THE VOICE — THE BREATH — MODULATION — PAUSING — FEELING AND ENERGY — GESTURE AND ACTION — IMPERSONATION — ARTICULATION AND PRONUNCIATION — IMAGINATION — HOW TO MEMORIZE A SELECTION — BEFORE THE AUDIENCE
5. 5.PART II HUMOROUS HITS — THE TRAIN-MISSER BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY — THE ELOCUTIONIST'S CURFEW BY W. D. NESBIT — MELPOMENUS JONES BY STEPHEN LEACOCK — HER FIFTEEN MINUTES BY TOM MASSON — THE FOXES' TAILS ANONYMOUS — THE DEAD KITTEN ANONYMOUS — THE WEATHER FIEND ANONYMOUS — THE RACE QUESTION BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR — WHEN THE WOODBINE TURNS RED ANONYMOUS — CUPID'S CASUISTRY BY W. J. LAMPTON — WHEN MAH LADY YAWNS BY CHARLES T. GRILLEY — WATCHIN' THE SPARKIN' BY FRED EMERSON BROOKS — THE WAY OF A WOMAN BY BYRON W. KING — THE YACHT CLUB SPEECH ANONYMOUS — MAMMY'S LI'L' BOY BY H. S. EDWARDS — CORYDON BY THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH — GIB HIM ONE UB MINE BY DANIEL WEBSTER DAVIS — A LESSON WITH THE FAN ANONYMOUS — THE UNDERTOW BY CARRIE BLAKE MORGAN — MARKETING ANONYMOUS — A SPRING IDYL ON "GRASS" BY NIXON WATERMAN — INTRODUCIN' THE SPEECHER BY EDWIN L. BARKER — COUNTING ONE HUNDRED BY JAMES M. BAILEY — THEY NEVER QUARRELED ANONYMOUS — SONG OF THE "L" BY GRENVILLE KLEISER — THE VILLAGE ORACLE BY J. L. HARBOUR — IF I CAN BE BY HER BY BENJAMIN FRANKLIN KING — McCARTHY AND McMANUS ANONYMOUS — AND SHE CRIED BY MINNA IRVING — DOT LEEDLE BOY BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY — MR. DOOLEY ON THE GRIP BY FINLAY PETER DUNNE — A RAINY DAY EPISODE ANONYMOUS — I KNEW HE WOULD COME IF I WAITED BY HORACE G. WILLIAMSON — LOVE'S MOODS AND SENSES ANONYMOUS — A NOCTURNAL SKETCH BY THOMAS HOOD — KATIE'S ANSWER ANONYMOUS — "'SPÄCIALLY JIM" ANONYMOUS — AGNES, I LOVE THEE! ANONYMOUS — THE GORILLA ANONYMOUS — BANGING A SENSATIONAL NOVELIST ANONYMOUS — HOPKINS' LAST MOMENTS ANONYMOUS — THE FAIRIES' TEA ANONYMOUS — COUNTING EGGS ANONYMOUS — THE OATMOBILE ANONYMOUS — ALMOST BEYOND ENDURANCE BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY — PROOF POSITIVE ANONYMOUS — THE IRISH PHILOSOPHER ANONYMOUS — BELAGCHOLLY DAYS ANONYMOUS — A PANTOMIME SPEECH ANONYMOUS — THE ORIGINAL LAMB ANONYMOUS — WHEN PA WAS A BOY BY S. E. KISER — THE FRECKLED-FACED GIRL (She entertains a visitor while her mother is dressing) ANONYMOUS — WILLIE BY MAX EHRMANN — AMATEUR NIGHT ANONYMOUS — BOUNDING THE UNITED STATES BY JOHN FISKE — DER DOG UND DER LOBSTER ANONYMOUS — HE LAUGHED LAST ANONYMOUS — NORAH MURPHY AND THE SPIRITS BY HENRY HATTON — OPIE READ BY WALLACE BRUCE AMSBARY — THE VILLAGE CHOIR After the Charge of the Light Brigade ANONYMOUS — BILLY OF NEBRASKA BY J. W. BENGOUGH — DOT LAMBS VOT MARY HAF GOT ANONYMOUS — GEORGA WASHINGDONE ANONYMOUS — DA 'MERICANA GIRL BY T. A. DALY — BECKY MILLER ANONYMOUS — PAT AND THE MAYOR ANONYMOUS — THE WIND AND THE MOON BY GEORGE MACDONALD — TOTAL ANNIHILATION ANONYMOUS — UPS AND DOWNS OF MARRIED LIFE ANONYMOUS — THE CROOKED MOUTH FAMILY ANONYMOUS — "IMPH-M" ANONYMOUS — THE USUAL WAY ANONYMOUS — NOTHING SUITED HIM ANONYMOUS — A LITTLE FELLER ANONYMOUS — ROBIN TAMSON'S SMIDDY BY ALEXANDER RODGER — A BIG MISTAKE ANONYMOUS — LORD DUNDREARY'S LETTER ANONYMOUS — SLANG PHRASES ANONYMOUS — THE MERCHANT AND THE BOOK AGENT ANONYMOUS — THE COON'S LULLABY ANONYMOUS — PARODY ON BARBARA FRIETCHIE ANONYMOUS — BEFORE AND AFTER BY CHARLES T. GRILLEY — WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK ANONYMOUS — MR. POTTS' STORY BY MAX ADELER — AT FIVE O'CLOCK TEA BY MORRIS WADE — KEEP A-GOIN'! BY FRANK L. STANTON — A LOVER'S QUARREL BY CYNTHIA COLES — CASEY AT THE BAT BY PHINEAS THAYER — FAMILIAR LINES ANONYMOUS — A FRIENDLY GAME OF CHECKERS ANONYMOUS — MODERN ROMANCE BY HENRY M. BLOSSOM, JR. — LULLABY BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR — THE REASON WHY BY MARY E. BRADLEY — HOW A BACHELOR SEWS ON A BUTTON ANONYMOUS — CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS ANONYMOUS — THE FLY ANONYMOUS — THE YARN OF THE "NANCY BELL" BY W. S. GILBERT — I TOL' YER SO BY JOHN L. HEATON — "YOU GIT UP!" BY JOE KERR — PRESENTATION OF THE TRUMPET ANONYMOUS — DON'T USE BIG WORDS ANONYMOUS — DER MULE SHTOOD ON DER STEAMBOAD DECK ANONYMOUS — THE NEW SCHOOL READER ANONYMOUS — THE POOR WAS MAD A FAIRY SHTORY FOR LITTLE CHILDHER BY CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS — LIDES TO BARY JADE ANONYMOUS — "CHARLIE MUST NOT RING TO-NIGHT" Parody on "Curfew Must not Ring To-night" ANONYMOUS — A SHORT ENCORE — MY DOUBLE, AND HOW HE UNDID ME BY EDWARD EVERETT HALE — ROMANCE OF A HAMMOCK ANONYMOUS — FINNIGIN TO FLANNIGAN BY S. W. GILLINAN — AN INTRODUCTION BY MARK TWAIN — THE HARP OF A THOUSAND STRINGS A Hard-shell Baptist Sermon BY JOSHUA S. MORRIS — THE DIFFICULTY OF RIMING ANONYMOUS — SO WAS I BY JOSEPH BERT SMILEY — THE ENCHANTED SHIRT BY JOHN HAY — DER OAK UND DER VINE BY CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS — THE SHIP OF FAITH ANONYMOUS — HE WANTED TO KNOW ANONYMOUS — AN OPPORTUNITY ANONYMOUS — GAPE-SEED ANONYMOUS — LARIAT BILL ANONYMOUS — THE CANDIDATE BY BILL NYE — ONE AFTERNOON ANONYMOUS — NOT IN IT ANONYMOUS — A TWILIGHT IDYL BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE — LAVERY'S HENS ANONYMOUS — LISP ANONYMOUS — THEY MET BY CHANCE ANONYMOUS — THE BRIDEGROOM'S TOAST ANONYMOUS — REHEARSING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS BY STANLEY HUNTLEY — THE V-A-S-E BY JAMES JEFFREY ROCHE — PAPA AND THE BOY BY J. L. HARBOUR — THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT IN THE PIT BY F. ANSTEY — HULLO BY S. W. FOSS — THE DUTCHMAN'S TELEPHONE ANONYMOUS — DOCTOR MARIGOLD BY CHARLES DICKENS — THE RULING PASSION BY WILLIAM H. SIVITER — THE DUTCHMAN'S SERENADE ANONYMOUS — WIDOW MALONE BY CHARLES LEVER — HIS LEG SHOT OFF ANONYMOUS — THE STUTTERING UMPIRE BY THE KHAN — THE MAN WHO WILL MAKE A SPEECH ANONYMOUS — CARLOTTA MIA BY T. A. DALY — THE VASSAR GIRL BY WALLACE IRWIN — A SHORT SERMON ANONYMOUS — A LANCASHIRE DIALECTIC SKETCH (Tummy and Meary) ANONYMOUS — HIS BLACKSTONIAN CIRCUMLOCUTION ANONYMOUS — KATRINA LIKES ME POODY VELL ANONYMOUS — AT THE RESTAURANT ANONYMOUS — A-FEARED OF A GAL ANONYMOUS — LEAVING OUT THE JOKE ANONYMOUS — THE CYCLOPEEDY BY EUGENE FIELD — ECHO BY JOHN G. SAXE — OUR RAILROADS ANONYMOUS — WAKIN' THE YOUNG 'UNS (The old man from the foot of the stairs—5 a. m.) BY JOHN C. BOSS — PAT'S REASON ANONYMOUS — QUIT YOUR FOOLIN' ANONYMOUS — SHE WOULD BE A MASON BY JAMES L. LAUGHTON — HENRY THE FIFTH'S WOOING BY SHAKESPEARE — SCENE FROM "THE RIVALS" BY RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN — SCENES FROM "RIP VAN WINKLE" AS RECITED BY THE LATE A. P. BURBANK
6. 6.PART III SERIOUS HITS — IF WE HAD THE TIME BY RICHARD BURTON — THE FOOL'S PRAYER BY EDWARD ROWLAND SILL — THE EVE OF WATERLOO BY LORD BYRON — THE WRECK OF THE JULIE PLANTE BY WILLIAM HENRY DRUMMOND — FATHER'S WAY BY EUGENE FIELD — I AM CONTENT TRANSLATED BY CARMEN SYLVA — THE EAGLE'S SONG BY RICHARD MANSFIELD — BREAK, BREAK, BREAK BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON — VIRGINIUS BY MACAULAY — THE WOMEN OF MUMBLES HEAD BY CLEMENT SCOTT — WILLIAM TELL AND HIS BOY BY WILLIAM BAINE — LASCA BY F. DESPREZ — THE VOLUNTEER ORGANIST BY S. W. FOSS — LIFE COMPARED TO A GAME OF CARDS ANONYMOUS — OLD DADDY TURNER ANONYMOUS — THE TRAMP ANONYMOUS — THE DANDY FIFTH BY F. H. GASSAWAY — ON LINCOLN BY WALT WHITMAN — THE LITTLE STOWAWAY ANONYMOUS — SAINT CRISPIAN'S DAY BY SHAKESPEARE — THE C'RRECT CARD BY GEORGE R. SIMS — THE ENGINEER'S STORY BY ROSA H. THORPE — THE FACE UPON THE FLOOR BY H. ANTOINE D'ARCY — THE FUNERAL OF THE FLOWERS BY T. DE WITT TALMAGE — CATO'S SOLILOQUY ON IMMORTALITY BY JOSEPH ADDISON — OPPORTUNITY BY JOHN J. INGALLS — OPPORTUNITY'S REPLY BY WALTER MALONE — THE ERL-KING BY JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ( Translated by Sir Walter Scott ) — CARCASSONNE BY M. E. W. SHERWOOD — THE MUSICIANS ANONYMOUS — ON THE RAPPAHANNOCK ANONYMOUS — COMO BY JOAQUIN MILLER — AUX ITALIENS BY OWEN MEREDITH
7. 7.INDEX

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