Funny Stories Told by the Soldiers

About this eBook

Author

Case, Carleton B. (Carleton Britton), 1857-1936

Title

Funny stories told by the soldiers : pranks, jokes and laughable affairs of our boys and their allies in the Great War

Credits

Produced by Brian Coe, Emmy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by the Library of Congress)

Language

English

LoC Class

D501: History: General and Eastern Hemisphere: World War I (1914-1918)

Subject

World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.

Category

Text

eBook-No.

48168

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/48168

Release Date

February 5, 2015

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.FUNNY STORIES
2. 2.PREFACE
3. 3.SECRETARY BAKER TELLS A GOOD ONE
4. 4.DID SHE SAVE DOC ONE?
5. 5.WANTED TO KILL THE COOKS
6. 6.YOU CAN’T BEAT THE IRISH
7. 7.ASK SOMEONE FROM MISSOURI
8. 8.CLARK STREET ENGLISH
9. 9.HIS MASTER’S VOICE
10. 10.ELEGY WRITTEN IN A BELGIAN DOORYARD
11. 11.WHEN PRESIDENT WILSON LAUGHED
12. 12.BEEF, MILK AND BEER
13. 13.TOO BAD SHE HADN’T MORE SONS
14. 14.WHY HE GOT THIRTY DAYS
15. 15.TIME TO SWEAR OFF
16. 16.THE CHOCOLATE SOLDIERS
17. 17.NO FOOTSTEPS IN THE AIR
18. 18.CHICKEN FEED ON BROADWAY
19. 19.THIS WAS IN ENGLAND
20. 20.VERY LADYLIKE
21. 21.HE DROPS INTO POETRY — WHERE DO I SLEEP NEXT?
22. 22.THIS PLEASED THE COLONEL
23. 23.DID THE CHAPLAIN SWEAR?
24. 24.ONE SWEET KISS LOST
25. 25.A COINCIDENCE OF WAR
26. 26.GERMAN PAPERS, PLEASE NOTE
27. 27.UNANIMOUS
28. 28.PA WAS THE GENERAL
29. 29.TOUGH ON GOMPERS
30. 30.HAD THE RIGHT DOPE
31. 31.TELL THIS NOT IN BOSTON
32. 32.THE MESSAGE WAS SOBER, ANYHOW
33. 33.HE HADN’T FINISHED
34. 34.THE OOZING OF THE COONS
35. 35.SHE WAS IN UNIFORM
36. 36.NO CHALLENGING OUT OF HIS CLASS
37. 37.CALLING HIM SISSY?
38. 38.HOW DISAPPOINTED HE’LL BE
39. 39.AMERICAN HUMOR IN FRANCE
40. 40.SNOBBERY SQUELCHED
41. 41.BLASTED HOPES
42. 42.PROFITABLE AUTHORSHIP
43. 43.THE “LONG, LONG TRAIL” OVER THERE
44. 44.HIS OWN PERSONAL WAR
45. 45.WHEN TOMMY LAUGHS
46. 46.ONE OF THOSE IRISH BULLS
47. 47.WHEN GERMANY SALUTED A PIG
48. 48.AND SO IT PROVED
49. 49.WASHINGTON GETS THESE, TOO
50. 50.BLACK MAGIC
51. 51.SUCH EXCUSES AS THEY MAKE
52. 52.HE HAD TROUBLES, TOO
53. 53.WHAT COULD HE MEAN?
54. 54.NEVER MIND THE TARGET
55. 55.A LADY FROM HELL
56. 56.THEORY VS. FACT
57. 57.ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIER!
58. 58.WHO WAS THE JOKE ON?
59. 59.REAL YANKEE LANGUAGE
60. 60.DAMN THE KAISER
61. 61.FUN FOR THE MISSUS
62. 62.GERMAN RESTITUTION
63. 63.BUT DID CHARLEY TELL IT?
64. 64.LONG-DISTANCE FAREWELL
65. 65.NINE GIRLS TOO MANY
66. 66.WHY NOT BOTH?
67. 67.ONLY GOOD GERMANS WERE LEFT
68. 68.A BREEZY RETORT
69. 69.PATTING MISSOURI ON THE BACK
70. 70.YOU CAN’T BEAT SUCH BOYS
71. 71.HOW TO BE FUNNY IN WARTIME
72. 72.NOW ON A WAR-BASIS
73. 73.HUMANITY IN WAR
74. 74.FLATLY IMPOSSIBLE
75. 75.THE FRATERNAL SIDE OF WAR
76. 76.NO TIME TO WASTE
77. 77.HER GENTLE COME-BACK
78. 78.HIS MIND WAS WANDERING
79. 79.THE SEX OF THE KILTIES
80. 80.PLAY BALL!
81. 81.HE’D BEEN THERE HIMSELF
82. 82.EIGHTEEN YEARS OF HOPE
83. 83.A NICKNAME THAT STUCK
84. 84.PAT WAS SMOKING
85. 85.FORGOT HIS LINES
86. 86.SO THERE’S PLENTY OF IT
87. 87.LIVELY ENEMY
88. 88.NO REGRETS
89. 89.TOO MUCH WASTED EFFORT
90. 90.MAD ENOUGH TO LICK ANYONE
91. 91.WORKING THE WAR
92. 92.SANDY WAS SCOTCH
93. 93.BROWN WASN’T GREEN
94. 94.ANYTHING TO GET AWAY
95. 95.NATURALLY WISHED TO SEE HER
96. 96.ZEPPELINITIS
97. 97.PALESTINE VS. PURGATORY
98. 98.DON’T ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
99. 99.WELL SEASONED
100. 100.NOT TO BE DONE
101. 101.UNCERTAIN TRAIN SCHEDULE
102. 102.REAL STRATEGY
103. 103.HE KNEW THE BREED
104. 104.DESERVED PROMOTION
105. 105.MIXED HER DATES
106. 106.HOOVER, GOD AND THREE OTHERS
107. 107.IT TAKES FIFTEEN YEARS, SON
108. 108.AW, BE A SPORT, HUBBY
109. 109.NOT ON THE PROGRAM
110. 110.WHERE HIS AUTHORITY BEGAN
111. 111.A TENNYSONIAN TODDY
112. 112.WHY REMIND THEM OF IT?
113. 113.HE’D HEARD HER SING
114. 114.WHY FRANCE WON
115. 115.MUCH THE SAFEST PLAN
116. 116.THE OLD FAMILIAR WORDS
117. 117.WITH A COMMA AFTER “RED”
118. 118.HOLES CLEAR THROUGH HIM
119. 119.WAS THIS FOREORDAINED?
120. 120.WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE
121. 121.WAR’S COMPENSATIONS
122. 122.CAP WAS A SURE WINNER
123. 123.ONLY A RUSE AFTER ALL
124. 124.TRY IT ON THE YANKS
125. 125.HER MEASURE OF SUCCESS
126. 126.BETTER MAKE AN OMELET
127. 127.THE USUAL PREFERENCE
128. 128.NOTHING TO FIGHT FOR
129. 129.BOTH UP AND DOWN, AUNTIE
130. 130.SECURING A TEMPORARY DIVORCE
131. 131.REMINDS ONE OF PLATTSBURG
132. 132.MONOLOGUE, BY NAT M. WILLS
133. 133.PARDONABLE MISTAKE
134. 134.HE WAS REAL MAD ABOUT IT
135. 135.HE KNEW WHERE THEY WERE
136. 136.JUST A BIT OF TRENCH REPARTEE
137. 137.NOT MENTIONABLE IN SOCIETY
138. 138.NOW SHE KNOWS WHY
139. 139.INTERCEPTED WAR MESSAGES
140. 140.WHAT MOTHERS ALWAYS SAY
141. 141.FASHION NOTE FROM THE FRONT
142. 142.ONE GERMAN WE FORGIVE
143. 143.EQUINE “NOW I LAY ME”
144. 144.ONE BRITISH ATROCITY
145. 145.NEVER MIND THE NAME
146. 146.FRENCH IN THE TRENCH
147. 147.SCOTCH PROVISIONS
148. 148.VERY LIKE MOSES
149. 149.THEY FIXED YOU, WILLIE
150. 150.SAFETY FIRST
151. 151.NO SUGAR IN HEAVEN
152. 152.YOU CAN’T DO THIS IN BATTLE
153. 153.NOW IT’S “ALL DUNN”
154. 154.A LAST FAREWELL
155. 155.TOO MODEST BY FAR
156. 156.ANOTHER WAR CASUALTY
157. 157.PREACHER HAD A SCOOP
158. 158.THERE IS TIME FOR BOTH
159. 159.THEY DO SOUND ALIKE
160. 160.NO TIME TO SAY ALL OF IT
161. 161.NO MAIL TO HADES
162. 162.MORE TO THE PURPOSE
163. 163.WHAT WE MAY EXPECT NOW
164. 164.EIGHT MILES FOR HIM
165. 165.NO FIGHTING FOR HIM
166. 166.HOW HUNS TICKLED THEMSELVES
167. 167.’TWASN’T HIS FAULT
168. 168.VERY GOOD, PUNCH
169. 169.HE KNEW ABOUT COWS
170. 170.WILLING TO TREAT
171. 171.AND FULL OF TABASCO
172. 172.CAUSE FOR DEPRESSION
173. 173.ENOUGH TO WARRANT EXEMPTION
174. 174.CHANGED HIS TUNE
175. 175.FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW
176. 176.THOSE PET NAMES FOR OFFICERS
177. 177.TOO MUCH HARVARD
178. 178.WOULDN’T INSULT THE JACK
179. 179.ONE WAY TO GET EVEN
180. 180.“HONEY” DRAWS THE LINE
181. 181.WILLING TO EXPLAIN
182. 182.CAUSE FOR ANNOYANCE
183. 183.SHE KNEW HIS MERITS
184. 184.CENSORING THE CLOUDS
185. 185.IT CAN’T BE DONE
186. 186.A TWO-BIT HERO
187. 187.ONE OF THE FEW THAT HAVE
188. 188.HOWL INDEFINITELY POSTPONED
189. 189.AND THEY DRINK GRAPE JUICE
190. 190.LESS METERS, LESS GAS
191. 191.YOU KNOW THAT PAPER
192. 192.CHANCE TO GET EVEN
193. 193.THE WAY THINGS LOOKED IN 1916
194. 194.CAUSE FOR REJOICING
195. 195.BUT NOT THIS TIME
196. 196.EVIDENCE OF REFINEMENT
197. 197.EVENING THINGS UP
198. 198.AN INTERIOR PROBLEM
199. 199.BEEN “GETTING UP” EVER SINCE
200. 200.MERELY A WAY-STATION
201. 201.OBEYING ORDERS
202. 202.NO ABSENT TREATMENT WANTED
203. 203.CAUSE FOR CONFIDENCE
204. 204.JUST GOT ON TO IT
205. 205.READY FOR ANY SNAKE
206. 206.DID HE GET HER MEANING?
207. 207.IT’S THE SHELLS
208. 208.OFFENSIVE PREPARATIONS
209. 209.GETTING BACK AT HEINE
210. 210.ZOOLOGICAL MONSTROSITY
211. 211.NOT WANTED ANYWHERE
212. 212.THERE WAS A PAIR OF THEM
213. 213.NOT AS INTENDED
214. 214.CHEERING NEWS
215. 215.WHY THIS DELAY?
216. 216.PERHAPS YOU HAVE WONDERED
217. 217.NO CREEDS IN WARTIME
218. 218.BUT IT’S MEN WHO PAY THEM
219. 219.ACQUIRING WIFELY ARTS
220. 220.THE NERVE OF THE COOK
221. 221.FOOD WILL WIN THE WAR
222. 222.GIVING THEM A SEND-OFF
223. 223.DON’T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR
224. 224.YOU’VE SEEN THEM
225. 225.PLACING THE BLAME
226. 226.PROOF POSITIVE
227. 227.CARBOLIC STARTED THIS
228. 228.BY JOVE, QUITE RIPPING
229. 229.FROM SANTA CLAUS IN WASHINGTON
230. 230.THIS BEATS ALL
231. 231.PAT WAS STRINGING HIM
232. 232.ANOTHER HUN ATROCITY
233. 233.KNEW HIM WELL
234. 234.ENOUGH TO MAKE A KING LAUGH
235. 235.TOO SLEEPY TO BE SCARED
236. 236.SHE UNDERSTOOD WOMEN
237. 237.WELL, THAT WAS HIS COMPANY
238. 238.SPOIL OF WAR
239. 239.CHEERFUL NEWS FROM ‘OVER THERE’
240. 240.HE KNEW WHAT TO USE
241. 241.THEY CAN’T WORK THIS ANY MORE
242. 242.IMPORTANT INFORMATION WANTED
243. 243.THAT WAS THE HYMN NUMBER
244. 244.TEMPORARY
245. 245.BOOZE FIGHTERS
246. 246.VERY PROPER ANSWER
247. 247.WHAT DISCOURAGED HIM
248. 248.GOING SOMEWHERE
249. 249.OUTRANKED IN THE KITCHEN
250. 250.SURPRISE FOR THE GERMANS
251. 251.NO LEAD PIPE CINCH
252. 252.SERVED HIM RIGHT!
253. 253.QUITE A CONTRAST
254. 254.AND HOLDING IT YET
255. 255.FOOLING THE COOTIES
256. 256.THIS IS A MAN
257. 257.WANTED SOMETHING STATIONARY
258. 258.YET THEY FOUGHT NOBLY
259. 259.PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY
260. 260.THE QUICKER THE SOONER
261. 261.TRANSPORTS OF JOY
262. 262.WHERE HE IS EXPERT
263. 263.NO MULES IN THE AIR
264. 264.DEAR LITTLE BOY
265. 265.THEN SHE HAD THEM PRESSED
266. 266.UNUSUAL OFFICER
267. 267.NOT SERIOUSLY DAMAGED
268. 268.ORDERS, BUT NO SALES
269. 269.THOSE FOOL QUESTIONS
270. 270.PROUD OF THEIR SOLDIERS
271. 271.NOT FLATTERING HIM ANY
272. 272.ONLY KIND HE KNEW
273. 273.NOT HIS KIND OF JEWELRY
274. 274.MORE DANGEROUS, ALSO
275. 275.SAME IN ALL LANGUAGES
276. 276.SHE KNEW JIM
277. 277.THEN HE GOT THIRTY DAYS K. P.
278. 278.PLEASED IS NO NAME FOR IT
279. 279.GENUINE CHICKEN DINNER
280. 280.ON THE ORIGINAL FIRING LINE
281. 281.PLAY THE GAME
282. 282.SHE WAS USED TO IT
283. 283.SPIRIT OF FRANCE
284. 284.RECOGNIZED THE RESEMBLANCE
285. 285.PROOF POSITIVE
286. 286.CAN SHOW WHAT HE’S GOOD FOR
287. 287.GLAD HE TALKED TO GEN. PERSHING
288. 288.BEFORE ONE CAN TURN AROUND
289. 289.ONE ON THE COLONEL
290. 290.A GRAND STAND PLAY
291. 291.THE NEGRO IN AUTHORITY
292. 292.DON’T YOU DO IT, TOMMY
293. 293.NO PROHIBITION THERE
294. 294.CHAFFING EACH OTHER
295. 295.GETTING ON FAST
296. 296.NO WONDER HE REBELLED
297. 297.THEY ALL GET ’EM
298. 298.REACHED HIS LIMIT
299. 299.SEEKING INFORMATION
300. 300.BIRDS FAR SURPASSED
301. 301.NO KICK COMING
302. 302.A REAL SPREE
303. 303.MOVING PICTURE IN ONE REEL
304. 304.USEFUL AND ORNAMENTAL
305. 305.THE MILITARY HAIR CUT
306. 306.BASEBALL IN BLIGHTY
307. 307.UNIVERSAL COMPLAINT
308. 308.SAMPLE WAS SATISFACTORY
309. 309.NO FUN WITHOUT FUNDS
310. 310.THOUGHT HE HAD ARRIVED
311. 311.“COUNT ’EM NOW, MISTAH KAISER”

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