Mr. Bertram Greene, emerging from the King Edward Terminus of
the Great Indian Railway at Madrutta, squared his shoulders,
threw out his chest, and, so far as he understood the process and
could apply it, strode along with the martial tread and military
swagger of all the Best Conquerors.
From khaki helmet to spurred brown heel, he was in full
panoply of war, and wore a dangerous-looking sword. At
least, to the ignorant passer-by, it appeared that its owner was
in constant danger of being tripped up by it. Bertram,
however, could have told him that he was really in no peril from
the beastly thing, since a slight pressure on the hilt from his
left elbow kept the southern end clear of his feet.
What troubled him more than the sword was the feeling of
constriction and suffocation due to the tightness of the belts
and straps that encompassed him about, and the extreme heat of
the morning. Also he felt terribly nervous and
unaccustomed, very anxious as to his ability to support the
weight of his coming responsibility, very self-distrustful, and
very certain that, in the full active-service kit of a British
Officer of the Indian Army, he looked a most frightful ass.
For Mr. Bertram Greene had never before appeared on this, or
any other stage, in such a part; and the change—from a
quiet modest civilian, “bashful, diffident and shy,”
to what his friends at dinner last night had variously called a
thin red hero, a licentious soldiery, a brutal mercenary, a hired
assassin, a saviour of his Motherland, a wisp of cannon-fodder, a
pup of the bull-dog breed, a curly-headed hero, a bloody-minded
butcher, and one who would show his sword to be as mighty as his
pen—was overwhelmingly great and sudden. When any of
the hundreds of hurrying men who passed him looked at him with
incurious eyes, he felt uncomfortable, and blushed. He knew
he looked an ass, and, far worse, that whatever he might look, he
actually was—a fraud, and a humbug. Fancy him,
Bertram Greene, familiarly known as “Cupid,” the
pale-faced “intellectual,” the highbrowed hero of the
class-room and examination-hall, the winner of scholarships and
the double-first, guilty of a thin volume of essays and a thinner
one of verse—just fancy him, the studious, bookish
sedentary, disguised as a soldier, as a leader of men in the day
of battle, a professional warrior! . . . He who had never
played games was actually proposing to play the greatest Game of
all: he who had never killed an animal in his life was going to
learn to kill men: he who had always been so lacking in
self-reliance was going to ask others to rely on him!
And, as his spirits sank lower, Bertram held his head higher,
threw back his shoulders further, protruded his chest more, and
proceeded with so firm a tread, and so martial a demeanour, that
he burst into profuse and violent perspiration.
He wished he could take a taxi, but even had there been one
available, he knew that the Native Infantry Lines almost adjoined
the railway terminus, and that he had to cross a grass
maidan [17a] on foot.
Thank heaven it was not far, or he would arrive looking as
though he had come by sea—swimming. A few more steps
would take him out of this crowd of students, clerks, artisans,
and business-men thronging to their schools, colleges, offices,
shops, mills, and works in Madrutta. . . . What did they
talk about, these queer “city men” who went daily
from the suburbs to “the office,” clad in turbans,
sandals, dhoties, [17b] and cotton
coats? Any one of these bare-legged, collarless, not
very clean-looking worthies might be a millionaire; and
any one of them might be supporting a wife and large family on a
couple of pounds a month. The vast majority of them were
doing so, of course. . . . Anyhow, none of them seemed to
smile derisively when looking at him, so perhaps his general
appearance was more convincing than he thought.
But then, short as had been his sojourn in India, he had been
in the country long enough to know that the native does not look
with obvious derision upon the European, whatever may be the real
views and sentiments of his private mind—so there was no
comfort in that. . . . Doubtless the Colonel and British
officers of the regiment he was about to join would not put
themselves to the trouble of concealing their opinions as to his
merits, or lack of them, as soon as those opinions were
conceived. . . . Well, there was one thing Bertram Greene
could do, and would do, while breath was in his body—and
that was his very best. No one can do more. He might
be as ignorant of all things military as a babe unborn: he might
be a simple, nervous, inexperienced sort of youth with more
culture and refinement than strength of character and decision of
mind: he might be a bit of an ass, whom other fellows were always
ragging and calling “Cupid”—but, when the end
came, none should be able to say that he had failed for want of
doing his utmost, and for lack of striving, with might and main,
to learn how to do his duty, and then to do it to the
limit of his ability.
A couple of British soldiers, privates of the Royal Engineers,
came towards him on their way to the station. Bertram
attempted the impossible in endeavouring to look still more
inflexibly and inexorably martial, as he eyed them hardily.
Would they look at him and smile amusedly? If so, what
should he do? He might be a fool himself, but—however
farcically—he bore the King’s Commission, and it had
got to be respected and saluted by all soldiers. The men
simultaneously placed their swagger-sticks beneath their left
arms, and, at three paces’ distance, saluting smartly and
as one man, maintained the salute until they were three paces
beyond him.
Bertram’s heart beat high with pride and
thankfulness. He would have liked to stop and shake hands
with the men, thanking them most sincerely. As it was, he
added a charming and friendly smile to the salute which he gave
in acknowledgment of theirs.
He passed on, feeling as though he had drunk some most
stimulating and exhilarating draught. He had received his
first salute! Moreover, the men had looked most
respectfully, nay, almost reverentially, if with a certain
stereotyped and bovine rigidity of stare, toward the officer they
so promptly and smartly honoured. He would have given a
great deal to know whether they passed any contemptuous or
derisive comment upon his appearance and bearing. . . . In
point of fact, Scrounger Evans had remarked to Fatty Wilkes, upon
abandoning the military position of the salute: “Horgustus
appears to ’ave ’ad a good night at bridge, and took a few
’undreds orf Marmadook an’ Reginald.
Wot?”
Whereunto Fatty had murmured:
“Jedgin’ by ’is ’appy liddle
smile,” as he sought the smelly stump of a cigarette in its
lair behind his spreading shady ear.
Enheartened, but perspiring, Bertram strode on, and crossed
the broad grass maidan, at the far side of which he could
see the parallel streets of the Native Infantry Lines, where lay
the One Hundred and Ninety-Ninth Regiment, to which he had been
ordered to report himself “forthwith.”
Yesterday was but crowded, excited yesterday, terminating in a
wild farewell dinner and an all-night journey.
To-day was “forthwith.” . . . What would
to-morrow be? Perhaps the date of the termination of his
career in the Indian Army—if the Colonel looked him over,
asked him a few questions, and then said: “Take away this
bauble!” or “Sweep this up!” or words to that
effect. He had heard that Colonels were brief, rude, and
arbitrary persons, sometimes very terrible. . . .
Approaching the end of the first long row of the mud buildings of
the Native Infantry Lines, Bertram beheld a sentry standing
outside his sentry-box, in the shade of a great banyan
tree. The man was clad in khaki tunic, shorts and puttees,
with a huge khaki turban, from which protruded a fringed scrap of
blue and gold; hob-nailed black boots, and brown belt and
bandolier. His bare knees, his hands and face were very far
from being black; in fact, were not even brown, but of a pale
wheat-colour.
The thoughts of Private Ilderim Yakub were far away, and his
eyes beheld a little sungar-enclosed watch-tower that
looked across a barren and arid valley of solid rock. In
the low, small doorway sat a fair-faced woman with long plaits of
black hair, and, at her feet, crawled a tiny naked boy . . . and
then the eyes of Private Ilderim Yakub beheld a British officer,
in full war-paint and wearing his sword, bearing down upon
him. By Allah the Compassionate and the Beard of the
Prophet! He had been practically asleep at his post, and
this must certainly be the Orderly Officer Sahib or the Adjutant
Sahib, if not the Colonel Sahib himself! Possibly even the
“Gineraal” Sahib (from the neighbouring Brigade
Headquarters) having a quiet prowl round. It must be
somebody, or he wouldn’t be “in drill order
with sword,” and marching straight for the guard-room.
Private
Ilderim Yakub (in the days when he had been a—well—a
scoundrelly border-thief and raider) had very frequently been in
situations demanding great promptitude of thought and action; and
now, although at one moment he had been practically asleep and
his wits wool-gathering in the Khost Valley, the next moment he
had sprung from his box, yelled “Guard turn
out!” with all the strength of his leathern lungs and
brazen throat, and had then frozen to the immobility of a bronze
statue in the attitude of the salute.
In response to his shout, certain similarly clad men arose
from a bench that stood outside a large thatched, mud-built hut,
another, wearing a red sash and three white stripes on the sleeve
of his tunic, came hurrying from within it, and the party, with
promptitude and dispatch, “fell in,” the Sergeant (or
Havildar) beside them.
“Guard!” roared that bearded worthy,
“’Shun! Present arms!” and,
like the sentry, the Sergeant and the Guard stood as bronze
statues to the honour and glory of Second-Lieutenant Bertram
Greene—the while that gentleman longed for nothing more
than that the ground might open and swallow him up.
What on earth ought he to do? Had he not read in his
newly purchased drill-book that the Guard only turned out for
Emperors or Field-Marshals, or Field Officers or something?
Or was it only for the Colonel or the Officer of the Day?
It most certainly was not for stray Second-Lieutenants of the
Indian Army Reserve. Should he try to explain to the
Sergeant that he had made a mistake, and that the Guard was
presenting arms to the humblest of God’s creatures that
wore officer’s uniform? Should he “put on
dog” heavily and “inspect” the Guard?
Should he pretend to find fault? No! For one thing he
had not enough Hindustani to make himself intelligible.
(But it was a sign that a change was already coming over Bertram,
when he could even conceive such a notion, and only dismiss it
for such a reason.)
What should he do, in these distressingly painful
circumstances?
Should he absolutely ignore the whole lot of them, and swagger
past with a contemptuous glance at the fool Sergeant who had
turned the Guard out? . . . It wasn’t his
fault that the wretched incident had occurred. . . .
He hadn’t made the mistake, so why should he be made
to look a fool? It would be the others who’d look the
fools, if he took not the slightest notice of their silly antics
and attitude-striking. . . (Heavens! How they’d
made the perspiration trickle again, by putting him in this
absurd and false position.) . . . Yes—he’d just
go straight past the lot of them as if they didn’t exist. .
. . No—that would be horribly rude, to say the least
of it. They were paying him a military compliment, however
mistakenly, and he must return it. Moreover—it
wasn’t the Sergeant-fellow’s fault. The sentry
had shouted to the Guard, and the Sergeant had naturally supposed
that one of those Great Ones, for whom Guards turn out, was upon
them.
Should he march past with a salute, as though he were
perfectly accustomed to such honours, and rather bored with
them? Unless he were near enough for them to see the single
“pip” on his shoulder-strap, they would never know
they had made a mistake. (He would hate them to feel as
horribly uncomfortable as he did.)
And if he did, where should he go? He must find the
Officers’ Lines, and go to the Officers’ Mess and
inquire for the Colonel. Besides, this was his
regiment; he was attached to it, and these men would all see him
again and know who and what he was. . . .
Of course—he would do the correct and natural thing, and
behave as though he were merely slightly amused at the
sentry’s not unnatural mistake and its results. . . .
With a smart salute to the Guard, Bertram smiled upon the
puzzled, imperturbable and immobile Havildar, with the
remark:
“Achcha, [21a] Sergeant.
Guard, dismiss karo” [21b]—upon hearing
which barbarous polyglot of English and Hindustani, the
Non-Commissioned Officer abandoned his rigid pose and roared,
with extreme ferocity, in the very ears of the Sepoys:
“Guard! Order-r ar-r-rms. Stannat
eashe. Deesmees!” and with another
salute, again turned to Bertram to await his further
pleasure.
“Ham Colonel Sahib mangta. Kither
hai?” [21c] said that gentleman, and the
intelligent Havildar gathered that this young and strange Sahib
“wanted” the Colonel. He smiled behind his vast
and bushy beard at the idea of sending a message of the
“Hi! you—come here! You’re wanted”
description to that Great One, and pictured the meeting that
would ensue if the Colonel Sahib came hastily, expecting to find the
Commander-in-Chief-in-India awaiting him.
No—since the young Sahib wanted the Colonel, he had
better go and find him. Calling to a young Sepoy who was
passing on some fatigue duty, he bade him haste away, put on his
tunic, tuck his long khaki shirt inside his shorts, and conduct
the Sahib to the Adjutant Sahib’s office. (That would
be quite in order; the Adjutant Sahib could decide as to the
wisdom of “wanting” the Colonel Sahib at
this—or any other—hour of the day; and responsibility
would be taken from the broad, unwilling shoulders of Havildar
Afzul Khan Ishak.)
An uncomfortable five minutes followed. Bertram, longing
with all his soul to say something correct, natural, and
pleasant, could only stand dumb and unhappy, while the
perspiration trickled; the Havildar stood stiffly at attention
and wondered whether the Sahib were as old as his son, Private
Mahommed Afzul Khan, new recruit of the One Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth; and the Guard, though dismissed, stood motionless
in solemn row beside the bench (on which they would sit as soon
as the Sahib turned his back), and, being Indian Sepoys, emptied
their minds of all thought, fixed their unseeing gaze upon
Immensity and the Transcendental
Nothingness-of-Non-existent-Non-entity-in-Oblivion, and tried to
look virtuous.
Returning and saluting, the young Sepoy wheeled about and
plodded heavily down the road, walking as though each hob-nailed
boat weighed a ton. But pride must suffer pain, and not for
worlds would this young man (who had, until a few months ago,
never worn anything heavier than a straw-plaited sandal as he
“skipped like a young ram” about his native
hill-tops) have been without these tokens of wealth and
dignity. What he would have liked, had the Authorities been
less touchy about it, would have been to wear them slung about
his neck, plain for all to admire, and causing their owner no
inconvenience.
Following his guide through the lines of mud huts, saluted
every few yards by passing Sepoys and by groups who sat about
doorways and scrambled to their feet as he passed, Bertram found
himself in a broad sandy road, lined by large stone European
bungalows, which ran at right-angles across the ends of the
Sepoys’ lines. Each bungalow stood in a large
compound, had a big lawn and flower-gardens in front of it, and
was embowered in palm-trees. Turning into the garden of the
largest of these, the young Sepoy pointed to the big house,
ejaculated: “Arfeecers’ Mess, Sahib,” saluted,
performed a meticulously careful “about turn,” the
while his lips moved as though he were silently giving himself
the necessary orders for each movement, and solemnly marched
away.
A pair of large old-fashioned cannon and a white flagstaff
gave the place an important and official appearance. Beyond
the big porch stretched to left and right a broad and deep
verandah, in the shady recesses of which Bertram could see a row
of chairs wherein lay khaki-clad figures, their feet, raised upon
the long leg-rests, presented unitedly and unanimously towards
him. Indeed, as he advanced with beating heart and sense of
shy discomfort, all that he could see of the half-dozen gentlemen
was one dozen boot-soles backed by a blur of khaki. Up to
the time he had reached the flight of steps, leading up from the
drive to the verandah, no one had moved. Mounting the
steps, and coming to the level of the recumbent figures, ranged
along the rear wall of the verandah and on each side of an open
door, the unhappy Bertram, from this new standpoint, saw that the
face of each officer was hidden behind a newspaper or a magazine.
. . . Profound silence reigned as he regarded the twelve
boot-soles, each crossed by a spur-chain, and the six
newspapers.
Another embarrassing and discomfortable situation. What
should he do? Should he cough—as the native does when
he wishes to attract your attention, or to re-affirm his
forgotten presence? It seemed a rather feeble and banal
idea. Should he pretend he had not seen the six stalwart
men lying there in front of his nose, and shout: “Qui
hai!” as one does to call an invisible servant?
And suppose none of them moved, and a Mess servant came—he
had no card to send in. He couldn’t very well tell
the man to announce in stentorian voice and the manner of a
herald: “Behold! Second-Lieutenant Bertram Greene, of
the Indian Army Reserve, standeth on the threshold!”
And supposing the man did precisely this and still nobody
moved, what a superlative ass the said Second-Lieutenant
Bertram Greene would feel! . . . But could he feel a bigger
ass than he did already—standing there in awkward silence
beneath the stony regard, or disregard, of the twelve
contemptuous boot-soles? . . .
Should he walk along the row of them, giving each alternate foot a heavy
blow? That would make them look up all right. . . .
Or should he seize a couple of them and operate them in the
manner of the young lady in the Railway Refreshment Rooms or the
Village Inn, as she manipulates the handles of the
beer-engine? The owners of the two he grabbed and pulled
would come from behind their papers fast enough. . . .
Bertram moved, and his sword clanked sharply against a
pillar. None of the readers had looked up at the sound of
footsteps—they were resting from the labours of breakfast,
and footsteps, as such, are of no interest. But, strange to
say, at the sound of a sword clanking, they moved as one man; six
papers were lowered and six pairs of eyes stared at the unhappy
Bertram. After three seconds of penetrating scrutiny, the
six papers rose again as one, as though at the sound of the
ancient and useful military order, “As you
were.”
Major Fordinghame beheld a very good-looking boy, who appeared
to be taking his new sword and revolver for a walk in the nice
sunshine and giving the public a treat. He’d hardly
be calling on the Mess dressed up in lethal weapons.
Probably wanted the Adjutant or somebody. He was quite
welcome to ’em. . . . These “planter”
cheroots were extraordinarily good at the price. . . .
Lieutenant and Quartermaster Macteith wondered who the devil
this was. Why did he stick there like a stuck pig
and a dying cod-fish? Still—if he wanted to stick,
let him stick, by all means. Free country. . . .
Captain Brylle only vaguely realised that he was staring hard at
some bloke or other—he was bringing all the great resources
of his brain to bear upon a joke in the pink paper he
affected. It was so deep, dark and subtle a joke that he
had not yet “got” it. Bloke on the
door-mat. What of it? . . . Captain Tavner had
received a good fat cheque that morning; he was going on ten
days’ leave to-morrow; he had done for to-day; and he had
had a bottle of beer for breakfast. He didn’t
mind if there were a rhinoceros on the doorstep. Doubtless
someone would take it into the Mess and give it a drink. . .
. Cove had got his sword on—or was it two
swords? Didn’t matter to him, anyway. . . .
Captain Melhuish idly speculated as to whether the chap would
be “calling” at so early an hour of the
morning. It was the Mess President’s business,
anyhow. . . . Why the sword and revolver? And
mentally murmuring: “Enter—one in armour,” Captain
Melhuish, the doyen of the famous Madrutta Amateur
Dramatic Society, returned to his perusal of The Era. .
. Lieutenant Bludyer didn’t give a damn, anyhow. . .
. And so none of these gentlemen, any one of whom would
have arisen, had he been sitting there alone, and welcomed
Bertram hospitably, felt it incumbent upon him to move, and the
situation resumed what Bertram privately termed its
formerness.
Just as he had decided to go to the nearest reader and flatly
request him to arise and direct him to the Colonel, another
officer came rushing from the room whose open doorway faced the
porch. In his mouth was a quill pen, and in his hands were
papers.
“Lazy perishers!” he remarked as he saw the
others, and added: “Come along, young Macteith,” and
was turning to hurry down the verandah when Bertram stepped
forward.
“Excuse me,” he said, “d’you think I
could see the Colonel? I have been ordered to report to
this regiment.”
“You could see the Colonel,” replied this
officer, “but I shouldn’t, if I were you.
I’d see the Adjutant. Much pleasanter sight.
I’m the Adjutant. Come along to my office,” and
he led the way down the verandah, across a big whitewashed room,
simply furnished with a table, a chair, and a punkah, to a
smaller room, furnished with two of each of the above-mentioned
articles.
Dropping the pen and papers upon the table, the Adjutant
wheeled round upon Bertram, and, transfixing him with a cold grey
eye, said, in hollow voice and tragic tones:
“Do not trifle with me, Unhappy Boy! Say those
blessed words again—or at once declare them false. . .
. Did I hear you state that you have been ordered to
join this corps—or did I not?”
“You did, sir,” smiled Bertram.
“Shake,” replied the Adjutant. “God
bless you, gentle child. For two damns, I’d fall on
your neck. I love you. Tell me your honoured name and
I’ll send for my will. . . .”
“I’m glad I’m welcome,” said the
puzzled and astonished Bertram; “but I’m afraid I
shan’t be very useful. I am absolutely
ignorant—you see, I’ve not been a soldier for
twenty-four hours yet. . . . Here’s the telegram I
got yesterday,” and he produced that document.
“Good youth,” replied Captain Murray.
“I don’t give a tinker’s curse if you’re
deaf, dumb, blind and silly. You are my deliverer. I
love you more and more. I’ve been awaiting you with
beating heart—lying awake for you, listening for your
footprints. Now you come—I go.”
“What—to the Front?” said Bertram.
“You’ve guessed it in once, fair youth. East
Africa for little Jock Murray. We are sending a draft of a
hundred men to our link battalion there—awfully knocked
about they’ve been—and I have it, straight from the
stable, that I’m the lad that takes them. . . . They
go in a day or two. . . . I was getting a bit anxious, I
can tell you—but my pal in the Brigade Office said they
were certain to send a Reserve man here and relieve me. . .
. Colonel will be pleased—he never says
anything but ‘H’m!’ but he’ll bite
your ear if you don’t dodge.”
“I suppose he’ll simply hate losing an experienced
officer and getting me,” said Bertram, apprehensively.
“He’ll make himself perfectly miserable,”
was the reply, “but nothing to what he’ll make
you. I’m the Adjutant, you see, and there’ll be
a bit of a muddle until my successor has picked up all the
threads, and a bit of extra bother for the Colonel. . . .
Young Macteith’ll have to take it on, I expect. . . .
He’ll bite your other ear for that. . .” and Murray
executed a few simple steps of the can-can, in the joy of
his heart that the chance of his life had come. No one but
himself knew the agonies of mind that he had suffered, as he lay
awake at night realising that the war might he a short one, time
was rushing on, and hundreds of thousands of men had gone to
fight—while he still sat in an office and played
C.O.’s lightning conductor. A usually undemonstrative
Scot, he was slightly excited and uplifted by this splendid turn
of Fortune’s wheel. Falling into a chair, he read the
telegram:
To Second-Lieutenant Bertram Greene, A.A.A.
You have been appointed to Indian Army Reserve of Officers
with rank of Second-Lieutenant, and are ordered to report
forthwith to O.C. One Hundred and Ninety-Ninth Regiment,
Madrutta. A.A.A. Military
Secretary.
“Any relation to Major Walsingham Greene?”
enquired Murray.
“Son,” replied Bertram, “and nephew of
General Walsingham.”
“Not your fault, of course,” observed
Murray. “Best to make a clean breast of these things,
though. . . . Had any sort of military training?” he
added.
“Absolutely none whatever. Soon after war broke
out I felt I was a disgrace to my family—they are all
soldiers—and I thought of going home and enlisting. . .
. Then I thought it was a pity if nearly twenty years of
expensive education had fitted me for nothing more useful than
what any labourer or stable-boy can do—and I realised that
I’m hardly strong enough to be of much good in the trenches
during a Belgian winter—I’ve been there—so I
wrote to my father and my uncle and told them I’d like to
get into the Indian Army Reserve of Officers. I thought I
might soon learn enough to be able to set free a better man, and,
in time, I might possibly be of some good—and perhaps go to
the Frontier or something. . . .”
“Goo’ boy,” said the merry
Murray. “I could strain you to my bosom.”
“Then I received some papers from the Military
Secretary, filled them up, and returned them with a medical
certificate. I bought some kit and ordered a uniform, and
studied the drill-book night and day. . . . I got that wire
yesterday—and here I am.”
“I love you, Bertram,” repeated the Adjutant.
“I feel a dreadful fraud, though,” continued the
boy, “and I am afraid my uncle, General Walsingham, thinks
I am ‘one of the Greenes’ in every way, whereas
I’m a most degenerate and unworthy member of the
clan. Commonly called ‘Cupid’ and
‘Blameless Bertram,’ laughed at . . . . Really
he is my father’s cousin—but I’ve always called
him ‘Uncle,’” he added ingenuously.
“Well—sit you there awhile and I’ll be free
in a bit. Then I’ll take you round the Lines and put
you up to a few things. . . .”
“I should be most grateful,” replied Bertram.
Macteith entered and sat him down at the other desk, and for
half an hour there was a va et vient of orderlies, clerks,
Sepoys and messengers, with much ringing of the telephone
bell.
When he had finished his work, Murray kept his promise, gave
Bertram good advice and useful information, and, before tiffin,
introduced him to the other officers—who treated him with
cordial friendliness. The Colonel did not appear at lunch,
but Bertram’s satisfaction at the postponement of his
interview was somewhat marred by a feeling that Lieutenant
Macteith eyed him malevolently and regarded his advent with
disapproval.
That afternoon the Adjutant very good-naturedly devoted to
assisting Bertram to remedy his utter nakedness and ashamedness
in the matter of necessary campaigning kit. Taking him in
his dog-cart to the great Madrutta Emporium, he showed him what
to buy, and, still better, what not to buy, that he might be
fully equipped, armed and well prepared, as a self-supporting and
self-dependent unit, provided with all he needed and nothing he
did not need, that he might go with equal mind wheresoever
Fate—or the Military Secretary—might suddenly send
him.
After all, it was not very much—a very collapsible
camp-bed of green canvas, hardwood and steel; a collapsible
canvas washstand to match; a collapsible canvas bath (which was
destined to endanger the blamelessness of Blameless
Bertram’s language by providing more collapses than baths);
a canteen of cooking utensils; a green canvas valise which
contained bedding, and professed to be in itself a warm and happy
home from home, even upon the cold hard ground; and a sack of
similar material, provided with a padlock, and suitable as a
receptacle for such odds and ends of clothing and kit as you
might choose to throw in it.
“Got to remember that, if you go on active service, your
stuff may have to be carried by coolies,” said the
Adjutant. “About forty pounds to a man. No good
trying to make one big package of your kit. Say, one sack
of spare clothing and things; one bundle of your bed, bath, and
washing kit; and the strapped-up valise and bedding. If you
had to abandon one of the three, you’d let the camp-bed,
bath and wash-stand go, and hang on to the sleeping-valise and
sack of underclothes, socks, boots, spare uniform and
sundries,” and much other good advice.
To festoon about Cupid’s person, in addition to his
sword, revolver, water-bottle and haversack, he selected a
suitable compass, map-case, field-glasses, ammunition-pouch,
whistle and lanyards, since his earnest and anxious
protégé desired to be fitted out fully and properly
for manœuvres, and as though for actual active service.
Assurance being received that his purchases would be forthwith
dispatched to the Adjutant’s bungalow, Bertram drove back
to the Mess with that kindly officer, and gratefully accepted his
invitation to dine with him, that night, at the famous Madrutta
Club.
“What about kit, though?” enquired Bertram.
“I’ve only got what I stand up in. I left all
my—”
“That’s all right,” was the reply.
“Everybody’s in khaki, now we’re
mobilised—except the miserable civilians,” he added
with a grin, whereat Bertram, the belted man of blood, blushed
and smiled.
At dinner Bertram sat respectfully silent, collecting the
pearls of wisdom that fell from the lips of his seniors,
fellow-guests of the Adjutant. And his demeanour was of a
gravity weighty and serious even beyond his wont, for was he not
now a soldier among soldiers, a uniformed, commissioned, employed
officer of His Majesty the King Emperor, and attached to a famous
fighting regiment? Yes—a King’s Officer, and
one who might conceivably be called upon to fight, and perhaps to
die, for his country and for those simple Principles for which
his country stood.
He was a little sorry when some of his bemedalled
fellow-guests joked on solemn and sacred subjects, and spoke a
little slightingly of persons and principles venerable to him;
but he comforted and consoled himself with the recollection and
reflection that this type of man so loathed any display, or even
mention, of sentiment and feeling, that it went to the opposite
extreme, and spoke lightly of things weighty, talked ribaldly of
dignitaries, and gave a quite wrong impression as to its burning
earnestness and enthusiasm.
After dinner, when the party broke up for bridge, billiards or
the bar, he sat on, listening with all his ears to the
conversation of the Adjutant and an officer, who seemed
exceedingly well informed on the subject of the battle of Tanga,
in German East Africa, concerning which the general public knew
nothing at all.
Murray noticed his intelligent and attentive silence, and counted it
for righteousness unto the boy, that he could “keep his
head shut,” at any rate. . . .
And next day The Blow fell!
For poor Captain and Adjutant Murray, of the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth Infantry, it dawned like any ordinary day, and
devoid of baleful omens.
There was nothing ominous about the coming of the tea, toast,
and oranges that “Abdul the Damned,” his bearer,
brought into the big, bare and comfortless room (furnished with
two camp-beds, one long chair, one almirah [30] and a litter on the floor) in which he
and Bertram slept.
Early morning parade passed off without unusual or untoward
event.
Breakfast was quite without portent, omen, or foreshadow of
disaster. The Colonel’s silence was no more eloquent
than usual, the Major’s remarks were no ruder, the Junior
Subaltern’s no sillier, and those of the other fellows were
no more uninteresting than upon other days; and all unconscious
of his fate the hapless victim strayed into his office, followed
by his faithful and devoted admirer, Second-Lieutenant Bertram
Greene, who desired nothing better than to sit at his feet and
learn. . . .
And then it came!
It came in the shape of a telegram from the Military
Secretary, and, on the third reading of the fair-writ type,
Murray had to realise that the words undoubtedly and unmistakably
were:
To O.C. 199th Infantry, A.A.A.
Second-Lieutenant Greene, I.A.R., to proceed
to Mombasa forthwith in charge of your draft of one hundred
P.M.’s and one Native Officer, by s.s. Elymas
to-morrow and report to O.C., One Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth immediately. A.A.A.
Military Secretary, Delhi.
He read it through once again and then laid it on his table,
leant his head on his hand and felt physically faint and sick for
a moment. He had not felt quite as he did then more than
three or four times in the whole of his life. It was like
the feeling he had when he received the news of his
mother’s death; when his proposal of marriage to the
one-and-only girl had been rejected; when he had been bowled
first ball in the Presidency Match, and when he had taken
a toss from his horse at the Birthday Parade, as the beast,
scared at the feu-de-joie, had suddenly bucked and bounced
like an india-rubber ball. . . . He handed the telegram to
Bertram without comment.
That young gentleman read it through, and again. He
swallowed hard and read it once more. His hand shook.
He looked at the Adjutant, who noticed that he had turned quite
pale.
“Got it?” enquired Murray. “Here, sit
down.” He thought the boy was going to faint.
“Ye-e-s. I—er—think so,” was the
reply. “I am to take the draft from the
Hundred and Ninety-Ninth to the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth in East
Africa! . . . Oh, Murray, I am sorry—for you.
. . . And I am so utterly inadequate and incompetent. . .
. It is cruel hard luck for you. . . .”
The Adjutant, a really keen, good soldier, said nothing.
There was nothing to say. He felt that his life lay about
him in ruins. At the end of the war—which might come
anywhen now that Russia had “got going”—he
would be one of the few professional soldiers without active
service experience, without a medal or decoration of any sort
whatever. . . . Children who had gone straight from
Sandhurst to the Front would join this very battalion, after the
war, with their honours thick upon them—and when he, the
Adjutant, tried to teach them things, they’d smile and say:
“We—ah!—didn’t do it like that at the
Marne and Ypres. . . .” He could go straight away and
shoot himself then and there. . . . And this pink civilian
baby! This “Cupid”! No, there was nothing
to say—apart from the fact that he could not trust himself
to speak.
For minutes there was complete silence in the little
office. Bertram was as one in a dream—a dream which
was partly sweet and partly a nightmare. He to go to
the Front to-morrow? To go on Active Service? He whom
fellows always ragged, laughed at, and called Cupid and Blameless
Bertram and Innocent Ernest? To go off from here in sole
charge of a hundred of these magnificent fighting-men, and then
to be an officer in a regiment that had been fighting for weeks
and had already lost a third of its men and a half of its
officers, in battle? He, who had never fired a gun in his
life; never killed so much as a pheasant, a partridge, a grouse
or a rabbit; never suffered so much as a tooth-extraction—to shoot at his fellow-men, to
risk being horribly mangled and torn! . . . Yes—but
what was that last compared with the infinitely greater horror,
the unspeakable ghastliness of being inadequate, of being
too incapable and inexperienced to do his duty to the splendid
fellows who would look to him, the White Man, their Officer, for
proper leadership and handling?
To fail them in their hour of need. . . . He tried to
moisten dry lips with a dry tongue.
Oh, if only he had the knowledge and experience of the
Adjutant—he would then change places with no man in the
world. Why had the England that had educated him so
expensively, allowed him to grow up so hopelessly ignorant of the
real elemental essentials of life in the World-As-It-Is? He
had been brought up as though the World were one vast Examination
Hall, and nothing else. Yes—he had been prepared for
examinations all his life, not prepared for the World at
all. Oh, had he but Murray’s knowledge and
experience, or one-tenth part of it—he would find the
ability, courage, enthusiasm and willingness all right.
But, as it was, who was he, Bertram Greene, the
soft-handed sedentary, the denizen of libraries and
lecture-rooms, the pale student, to dare to offer to command,
control and guide trained and hardy men of war? What had he
(brought up by a maiden “aunt”!) to do with arms and
blood, with stratagems and ambuscades, with gory struggles in
unknown holes and corners of the Dark Continent? Why, he
had never shouted an order in his life; never done a long march;
never administered a harsh reprimand; never fired a revolver nor
made a pass with a sword. (If only he had had more
to do with such “passes” and less with his confounded
examination passes—he might feel less of an utter fraud
now.) At school and at Oxford he had been too delicate for
games, and in India, too busy, and too interested in more
intellectual matters, for shikar, sport and hunting. He had
just been “good old Blameless Bertram” and “our
valued and respected Innocent Ernest,” and “our
pretty pink Cupid”—more at home with antiquarians,
ethnologists, Orientalists and scientists than with sportsmen and
soldiers. . . .
The fact was that Civilisation led to far too much
specialisation and division of labour. Why shouldn’t
fellows be definitely trained and taught, physically as well as
mentally? Why shouldn’t every man be a bit of an artisan, an
agriculturalist, a doctor, and a soldier, as well as a mere
wretched book-student? Life is not a thing of books. . .
.
Anyhow, in the light of this telegram, it was pretty clear
that his uncle, General Sir Hugh Walsingham, K.C.S.I., had
described him more optimistically than accurately when forwarding
his application for admission to the Indian Army Reserve of
Officers, to the Military Secretary. . . . Another awful
thought—suppose he let Uncle Hugh down badly. . . .
And what of his father? . . .
Well—there was one thing, he would do his absolute
utmost, his really ultimate best; and no one could do more.
But, oh, the fathomless profundity of his ignorance and
inexperience! Quite apart from any question of leading men
in battle, how could he hope to avoid incurring their contempt on
the parade-ground? They’d see he was an Ass, and a
very ignorant one to boot, before he had been in front of them
for five minutes. . . . One thing—he’d know
that drill-book absolutely by heart before long. His
wretched examination training would stand him in good stead
there, at any rate. . . .
“Must tell the Colonel,” said Murray suddenly, and
he arose and left the office.
A few minutes later the Quartermaster, Lieutenant Macteith,
entered. Instead of going to his desk and settling down to
work, he took a powerful pair of field-glasses from their case on
Murray’s table and carefully examined Bertram through
them.
Bertram coloured, and felt quite certain that he did not like
Macteith at all.
Reversing the glasses, that gentleman then examined him
through the larger end.
“Oh, my God!” he ejaculated at last, and then
feigned unconquerable nausea.
He had heard the news, and felt personally injured and
insulted that this miserable half-baked rabbit should be going on
Active Service while Lieutenant and Quartermaster Macteith was
not.
An orderly entered, saluted, and spoke to him in
Hindustani.
“Colonel wants you,” he said, turning to Bertram,
as the orderly again saluted, wheeled about, and departed.
“He wants to strain you to his breast, to clasp your red
right hand, to give you his photograph and beg for yours—or else to
wring your neck!” And as Bertram rose to go, he
added: “Here—take this pen with you.”
“What for?” asked Bertram.
“To write something in his autograph-album and
birthday-book—he’s sure to ask you to,” was the
reply.
Bertram turned and departed, depressed in spirit. He
hated anyone to hate him, and he had done Macteith no harm.
But in spite of his depression, he was aware of a wild little
devil of elation who capered madly at the back of his
brain. This exuberant little devil appeared to be screaming
joyous war-whoops and yelling: “Active Service! . .
. You are going to see service and to fight! . .
. You will have a war-medal and clasps! . . .
You are going to be a real war-hardened and experienced
soldier! . . . You are going to be a devil of a
fellow! . . . Whoop and dance, you Ass! .
. . Wave your arms about, and caper! . .
. Let out a loud yell, and do a fandango! . .
.” But in the Presence of the Colonel, Bertram
declined to entertain the little devil’s suggestions, and
he neither whooped nor capered. He wondered, nevertheless,
what this cold monument of imperturbability would do if he
suddenly did commence to whoop, to caper and to dance before
him. Probably say “H’m!”—since that
was generally reported to be the only thing he ever said. . .
.
Marching into the room in which the Colonel sat at his desk,
Bertram halted abruptly, stood at attention stiffly, and saluted
smartly. Then he blushed from head to foot as he realised
that he had committed the ghastly faux pas, the horrible
military crime, of saluting bare-headed. He could have wept
with vexation. To enter so smartly, hearing himself like a
trained soldier—and then to make such a Scarlet Ass of
himself! . . . The Colonel gazed at him as at some very
repulsive and indescribable, but very novel insect.
“. . . And I’ll make a list of the
cooking-pots and other kit that they’ll have to take for
use on board, sir, and give it to Greene with a letter to Colonel
Rock asking him to have them returned here,” the Adjutant
was saying, as he laid papers before the Colonel for
signature.
“H’m!” said the Colonel.
“I have ordered the draft to parade at seven to-morrow,
sir,” he continued, “and told the Bandmaster they
will be played down to the Docks. . . . Greene can take them over
from me at seven and march them off. I have arranged for
the kits to go down in bullock-carts beforehand. . . .”
“H’m!” said the Colonel.
“I’ll put Greene in the way of things as much as
possible to-day,” went on the Adjutant.
“I’ll go with him and get hold of the cooking-pots
he’ll take for the draft to use on board—and then
I’d better run down and see the Staff Embarkation Officer
with him, about his cabin and the men’s quarters on the
Elymas, and. . .”
“H’m!” said the Colonel, and taking up his
cane and helmet, departed thence without further remark.
“. . . And—I hope you’ll profit by
every word you’ve heard from the Colonel, my lad,”
the Adjutant concluded, turning ferociously upon Bertram.
“Don’t stand there giggling, flippant and
indifferent—a perfect picture of the Idle Apprentice, I
say,” and he burst into a peal of laughter at the solemn,
anxious, tragic mask which was Bertram’s face.
“No,” he added, as they left the room.
“Let the Colonel’s wise and pregnant observations
sink into your mind and bring forth fruit. . . . Such
blossoming, blooming flowers of rhetoric oughter bring
forth fruit in due season, anyhow. . . . Come along
o’ me.”
Leaving the big Mess bungalow, the two crossed the
maidan, wherein numerous small squads of white-clad
recruits were receiving musketry-instruction beneath the shady
spread of gigantic banyans. The quickly signalled approach
of the dread Adjutant-Sahib galvanised the Havildar and Naik
instructors to a fearful activity and zeal, which waned not until
he had passed from sight. In one large patch of shade the
Bandmaster—an ancient Pathan, whose huge iron-rimmed
spectacles accorded but incongruously with his fierce hawk face,
ferocious curling white moustache and beard, and bemedalled
uniform—was conducting the band’s tentative rendering
of “My Bonnie is over the Ocean,” to Bertram’s
wide-eyed surprise and interest. Through the Lines the two
officers made a kind of Triumphal Progress, men on all sides
stiffening to “attention” and saluting as they
passed, to where, behind a cook-house, lay nine large
smoke-blackened cooking-pots under a strong guard.
“There they are, my lad,” quoth the hitherto
silent Adjutant. “Regard them closely, and
consider them well. Familiarise yourself with them, and
ponder.”
“Why?” asked Bertram.
“For in that it is likely that they, or their astral
forms, will haunt your thoughts by day, your dreams by
night. Your every path through life will lead to
them,” answered the Adjutant.
“What have I got to do with them?” enquired
Bertram, with uncomfortable visions of adding the nine big black
cauldrons to his kit.
“Write about them,” was the succinct reply.
“To whom?” was the next query.
“Child,” said the Adjutant solemnly, “you
are young and ignorant, though earnest. To you, in your
simplicity and innocence—
‘A black cooking-pot by a cook-house door
A black cooking-pot is, and nothing more,’
as dear William Wordsworth so truly says in his Ode on the
Imitations of Immorality, is it—or is it in
‘Hark how the Shylock at Heaven’s gate
sings’? I forget. . . . But these are
much more. Oh, very much.”
“How?” asked the puzzled but earnest one.
“How? . . . Why they are the
subject-matter, from this moment, of a Correspondence which will
be still going on when your children’s grandchildren are
doddering grey-beards, and you and I are long since swept into
the gulf of well-deserved oblivion. Babus yet unborn
will batten on that Correspondence and provide posts for their
relatives unnumbered as the sands of the seashore, that it may be
carried on unfailing and unflagging. As the pen drops from
their senile palsied hands they will see the Correspondence take
new lease of life, and they will turn their faces to the wall,
smile, and die happy.”
“I am afraid I don’t really understand,”
admitted Bertram.
“Do you think Colonel Rock will return these
pots? Believe me, he will not. He will say,
‘A pot in the hand is worth two in the
bush-country,’ or else ‘What I have I
hold,’ or ‘Ils suis, ils
reste’—being a bit of a scholar like—or
perhaps he’ll just swear he bought ’em off a man he
went to see about a dog, just round the corner, at the pub.
I don’t know about that—but return them he
will not. . . .”
“But if I say they belong to Colonel Frost and
that he wants them back—and that I promised to make it
clear to him that Colonel Frost desires their immediate
return,” protested Bertram, who visualised himself between
the anvil of Colonel Rock and the hammer of Colonel Frost.
“Why then he’ll probably say they now
‘belong to Colonel Rock and that he doesn’t
want them to go back, and that you must promise to make it clear
to Colonel Frost that he desires his immediate
return’—to the devil,” replied the
Adjutant.
“Yes—every time,” he continued.
“He will pretend that fighting Germans is a more urgent and
important matter than returning pots. He will lay aside no
plans of battle and schemes of strategy to attend to the
pots. He will detail no force of trusty soldiers to convoy
them to the coast. . . . He will refuse to keep them
prominently before his vision. . . . In short, he will hang
on to the damn things. . . . And when the war is o’er
and he returns, he’ll swear he never had a single
cooking-pot in Africa, and in any case they are his own private
property, and always were. . . .”
“I shall have to keep on reminding him about
them,” observed Bertram, endeavouring to separate the grain
of truth from the literal “chaff” of the
Adjutant—who seemed to be talking rapidly and with bitter
humour, to keep himself from thinking of his cruel and crushing
disappointment, or to hide his real feelings.
“If you go nightly to his tent, and, throwing yourself
prostrate at his feet, clasp him around the knees, and say:
‘Oh, sir, think of poor pot-less Colonel
Frost,’ he will reply: ‘To hell with Colonel
Frost! . . .’ Yes—every time. . . .
Until, getting impatient of your reproachful presence, he will
say: ‘You mention pots again and I’ll fill you
with despondency and alarm. . .’ He’ll do
it, too—he’s quite good at it.”
“Rather an awkward position for me,” ventured
Bertram.
“Oh, quite, quite,” agreed Murray.
“Colonel Frost will wire that unless you return his pots,
he’ll break you—and Colonel Rock will state that if
you so much as hint at pots, he’ll break you. . .
. But that’s neither here nor there—the
Correspondence is the thing. It will begin when you are
broke by one of the two—and it will be but waxing in volume
to its grand climacteric when the war is forgotten, and the pots
are but the dust of rust. . . . A great thought. .
. Yes. . .”
Bertram
stared at the Adjutant. Had he gone mad? Fever?
A touch of the sun? It was none of these things, but a
rather terrible blow, a blighting and a shattering of his
almost-realised hopes—and he must either talk or throw
things about, if he were not to sit down and blaspheme while he
drank himself into oblivion. . . .
For a time they regarded the pots in awed contemplative
silence and felt themselves but ephemeral in their presence, as
they thought of the Great Correspondence, but yet with just a
tinge of that comforting and sustaining quorum pais magna
fui feeling, to which Man, the Mighty Atom, the little devil
of restless interference with the Great Forces, is ever
prone.
In chastened silence they returned to the Adjutant’s
office, and Bertram sat by his desk and watched and wondered,
while that official got through the rest of his morning’s
work and dealt faithfully with many—chiefly sinners.
He then asked the Native Adjutant, who had been assisting him,
to send for Jemadar Hassan Ali, who was to accompany Bertram and
the draft on the morrow, and on that officer’s arrival he
presented him to the young gentleman.
As he bowed and shook hands with the tall, handsome Native
Officer, Bertram repressed a tendency to enquire after Mrs. Ali
and all the little Allies, remembering in time that to allude
directly to a native gentleman’s wife is the grossest
discourtesy and gravest immorality. All he could find to
say was: “Salaam, Jemadar Sahib! Sub
achcha hai?” [38a] which at any rate
appeared to serve, as the Native Officer gave every demonstration
of cordiality and pleasure. What he said in reply, Bertram
did not in the least understand, so he endeavoured to put on a
look combining pleasure, comprehension, friendliness and
agreement—which he found a slight strain—and
remarked: “Béshak!
Béshak!” [38b] as he nodded his
head. . . .
The Jemadar later reported to his colleagues that the new
Sahib, albeit thrust in over the heads of tried and experienced
Native Officers, appeared to be a Sahib, a gentleman of
birth, breeding, and good manners; and evidently possessed of far
more than such slight perception and understanding as was
necessary for proper appreciation of the worth and virtues of
Jemadar Hassan Ali. Also that he was but a hairless-faced
babe—but doubtless the Sircar knew what it was about, and was
quite right in considering that a young boy of the Indian Army
Reserve was fitter to be a Second-Lieutenant in the
pultan, than was a Jemadar of fifteen years’
approved service and three medals. One of his hearers
laughed sarcastically, and another grunted approval, but the
Subedar-Major remarked that certain opinions, however tenable,
were, perhaps, better left unvoiced by those who had accepted
service under the Sircar on perfectly clear and definite terms
and conditions.
When the Jemadar had saluted and left the office, Murray
turned upon Bertram suddenly, and, with a concentrated glare of
cold ferocity, delivered himself.
“Young Greene,” quoth he, “yesterday I said
you were a Good Egg and a desirable. I called you Brother,
and fell upon your neck, and I welcomed you to my hearth. I
overlooked your being the son of a beknighted General. I
looked upon you and found you fair and good—as a
‘relief.’ You were a stranger, and I took you
in. . . . Now you have taken me in—and I say
you are a cuckoo in the nest, a viper in the back-parlour, a worm
in the bud, a microbe in the milk, and an elephant in the
ointment. . . . You are a—a—”.
“I’m awfully sorry, Murray,”
interrupted the unhappy Bertram. “I’d do
anything—”
“Yes—and any body,” continued the
Adjutant. “I say you are a pillar of the pot-houses
of Gomorrah, a fly-blown turnip and a great mistake. Though
of apparently most harmless exterior and of engaging manners, you
are an orange filled with ink, an addled egg of old, and an Utter
Improbability. I took you up and you have done me
down. I took you out and you have done me in. I took
you in and you have done me out—of my chance in life. . .
. Your name is now as a revolting noise in my ears, and
your face a repulsive sight, a thing to break plates on . . . and
they ‘call you Cupid’!”
“I can’t tell you how distressed I am about it,
Murray,” broke in the suffering youth. “If only
there were anything I could do so that you could go, and not
I—”
“You can do nothing,” was the cold reply.
“You can not even, in mere decency, die this night like a
gentleman. . . . And if you did, they’d only send
some other pale Pimple to take the bread out of a fellow’s
mouth. . . . This is a civilians’ war, mark you; they
don’t want professional soldiers for a little job like
this. . . .”
“It wasn’t my fault, Murray,”
protested Bertram, reduced almost to tears by his sense of wicked
unworthiness and the injustice to his kind mentor of
yesterday.
“Perhaps not,” was the answer, “but why were
you ever born, Cupid Greene, that’s what I
ask? You say it isn’t your fault—but if
you’d never been born . . . Still, though I can never
forget, I forgive you, and would share my last pot of rat-poison
with you cheerfully. . . . Here—get out your
note-book,” and he proceeded to give the boy every
“tip” and piece of useful advice and information that
he could think of as likely to be beneficial to him, to the men,
to the regiment, and to the Cause.
That night Bertram could not sleep. The excitement of
that wonderful day had been too much for his nerves, and he lay
alternating between the depths of utter black despair, fear,
self-distrust and anxiety on the one hand, and the heights of
exultation, hope, pride, and joy on the other.
At one moment he saw himself the butt of his colleagues, the
contempt of his men, the bête noir of his Colonel,
the shame of his Service, and the disgrace of his family.
At another, he saw himself winning the approval of his brother
officers by his modesty and sporting spirit, the affection and
admiration of his men by his kindness and firmness, the good-will
of his Colonel by his obvious desire to learn and his keen
enthusiasm in his duty, the respect of his Service for winning a
decoration, and the loving regard of the whole clan of Greene for
his general success as a soldier.
But these latter moments were, alas, far less realistic and
convincing than the others. In them he merely hoped and
imagined—while in the black ones he felt and
knew. He could not do otherwise than realise that he
was utterly inexperienced, ignorant, untried and incompetent, for
it was the simple fact. If he could be of much use,
then what is the good of training men for years in colleges,
in regiments, and in the field, to prepare them to take their
part in war?
He knew nothing of either the art or the science of that great
and terrible business. He had neither the officer’s
trained brain nor the private soldier’s trained body;
neither the theory of the one nor the practice of the
other. Even if, instead of going to the Front to-morrow as
an officer, he had been going in a British regiment as a private,
he would have been equally useless. He had never been
drilled, and he had never used a weapon of any kind. All he
had got was a burning desire to be of use, a fair amount of
intelligence, and, he hoped, the average endowment of
courage. Even as to this last, he could not be really
certain, as he had never yet been tried—but he was very
strongly of opinion that the dread of showing himself a coward
would always be far stronger than the dread of anything that the
enemy could do to his vile body. His real fear was that he
should prove incompetent, be unequal to emergency, and fail those
who relied upon him or trusted in him. When he thought of
that, he knew Fear, the cold terror that causes a fluttering of
the heart, a dryness of the mouth, a weakness of the knees, and a
sinking of the stomach.
That was the real dread, that and the fear of illness which
would further decrease capacity and usefulness. What were
mere bullets and bayonets, wounds and death, beside revealed
incompetence and failure in duty?
Oh, that he might have luck in his job, and also keep in
sufficient health to be capable of his best—such as it
was.
When Hope was in the ascendant, he assured himself that the
greatest work and highest duty of a British officer in a Native
regiment was to encourage and enhearten his men; to set them a
splendid example of courage and coolness; to hearten them up when
getting depressed; to win their confidence, affection and
respect, so that they would cheerfully follow him anywhere and
“stick it” as long as he did, no matter what the
hardship, danger, or misery. These things were obviously a
thousand times more important than parade-ground knowledge and
such details as correct alignment, keeping step, polishing
buttons, and so forth—important as these might be in their
proper place and season. And one did not learn those
greater things from books, nor on parade, nor at colleges.
A man as ignorant as even he of drill, internal economy, tactics
and strategy, might yet be worth his rations in the trenches, on the
march, yes, or in the wild, fierce bayonet-charge itself, if he
had the attributes that enable him to encourage, uplift,
enhearten and give confidence.
And then his soaring spirit would swiftly stoop again, as he
asked himself: “And have I those qualities and
attributes?” and sadly replied: “Probably
not—but what is, at any rate, certain, is the fact that I
have no knowledge, no experience, no understanding of the very
alphabet of military lore, no slightest grasp of the routine
details of regimental life, discipline, drill, regulations,
internal economy, customs, and so forth—the things that are
the elementary essentials of success to a body of armed men
proceeding to fight.” . . . And in black misery and
blank despair he would groan aloud: “I cannot
go. I cannot do it.” . . . He was
very young, very much a product of modern civilisation, and a
highly specialised victim of a system and a generation that had
taken too little account of naked fact and elemental basic
tendency—a system and a generation that pretended to
believe that human nature had changed with human
conditions. As he realised, he had, like a few million
others, been educated not for Life and the World-As-It-Is, but
for examinations and the world as it is not, and never will be. .
. .
He tossed and turned through the long hot night on the little
hard camp-bed, listening to Murray’s regular breathing and
the scampering of the rats as they disported themselves on the
other side of the canvas ceiling cloth and went about their
unlawful occasions. . . .
He reviewed the events of that epoch-making day from the
arrival of the telegram to his getting into bed. . . . A
memorable morning, a busy afternoon and evening, a rotten
night—with a beastly climax—or anti-climax. . .
. Would he never get to sleep on this hard, narrow bed? . .
. What would he be fit for on the dreadful morrow if he
slept not at all? . . . What a day it had been!
Rather amusing about those cooking-pots. It wouldn’t
be very amusing for him if the situation developed as
Murray had prophesied. . . . Rather a good bit of work that
he had put in between lunch and dinner with the drill-book and a
box of matches. Matches made good sections, companies, and
battalions for practising drill-manœuvres on a
desk—but it would he a different thing to give the orders
correctly and audibly to hundreds of men who watched one with
inscrutable eyes. . . . How he wished he had declined the
invitation of Bludyer to accompany him and Macteith to the
theatre. . . . They had proceeded in a car to the Club and
there picked up some other fellows. The play was The
Girl in the Taxi, and Bertram sat ashamed, humiliated and
angry, as a third-rate company of English actors and actresses
performed their sorry parts in a travesty of European life and
manners, before the avid eyes of hundreds of natives. There
they sat, with faces contemptuous, sensual, blank, eager, gleeful
or disgusted, according to their respective conditions and
temperaments—the while they gathered from the play that
English life is a medley of infidelity, dissipation, intrigue and
vulgarity.
And, after the play, Macteith had said: “Let’s go
to the Home-from-Home for a
‘drink-and-a-little-music—what—what’?”
Bertram had thought it a somewhat strange proceeding to go to
a Home, at eleven o’clock at night, for music, and he would
greatly have preferred to go to bed. However, he could not
very well say that they must take him back to bed first, nor
announce his intention of leaving the party and walking home. . .
.
. . . Macteith having given instructions to the Eurasian
chauffeur, the taxi sped away and, skirting the sea-shore, turned
off into a quiet avenue of giant palms, in which stood detached
bungalows of retiring and unobtrusive mien. Into the
compound of one of these the taxi turned, and a bell rang loudly,
apparently of its own volition. As they got out of the car,
a lady came out to the brilliantly lighted verandah from the
drawing-room which opened on to it. Bertram did not like
the look of this lady at all. Her face reminded him of that
of a predatory animal or bird, with its fierce eyes, thin, hard
lips and aquiline nose. Nor, in his estimation, did the
obvious paint and powder, the extreme-fashioned satin gown, and
the profusion of jewellery which she wore, do anything to
mitigate the unfavourable impression received at first sight of
her face. . . . Really the last person one would have
expected to find in charge of a Home. . . . Nor was
Macteith’s greeting of “Hullo, Fifi, my dear!
Brought some of the Boys along,” calculated to allay a
growing suspicion that this was not really a Home at all.
Entering the drawing-room with the rest, Bertram beheld a bevy
of ladies sitting in an almost perfect circle, each with a vacant
chair beside her. Some of them were young, and some of them
presumably
had been. All were in evening dress and in the exaggerated
extreme of fashion. All seemed to be painted and powdered,
and all looked tired and haggard. Another attribute common
to the whole party was that they all seemed to be
foreigners—judging by their accents as they welcomed
Macteith and some of the others as old acquaintances.
Bertram liked the look of these ladies as little as he did
that of the person addressed as “Fifi,” and he hoped
that the party would not remain at the house long. He was
tired, and he felt thoroughly uncomfortable, as noisy horse-play
and badinage began, and waxed in volume and pungency. A
servant, unbidden, entered with a tray on which stood three
bottles of champagne and a number of glasses. He noticed
that the bottles had been opened, that the corks and gold-foil
looked weary and experienced, and that the wine, when poured out,
was singularly devoid of bubbles and froth. He wished he
had not come. . . . He did not want to
drink alleged champagne at midnight. . . . There was no
music, and the people were of more than doubtful breeding, taste
and manners. . . . Macteith had actually got his arm round
the waist of one woman, and she was patting his cheek as she
gazed into his eyes. Another pair exchanged a kiss before
his astonished gaze. He decided to walk out of the house,
and was about to do so when the girl nearest to him seized his
hand and said: “You seet daown ’ere an’ spik to
me, sare,” as she pulled him towards the chair that stood
vacant beside her. In an agony of embarrassment born of a
great desire to refuse to stay another minute, and a somewhat
unnecessary horror of hurting the young lady’s feelings by
a refusal, he seated himself with the remark: “Merci,
mam’selle—mais il se fait tard. Il est sur les
une heure . . .” as she appeared to be a French woman.
“Laissez donc!” was the reply. “Il est
l’heure du berger,” a remark the point of which he
missed entirely. Finding that he knew French, she rattled
on gaily in that tongue, until Bertram asked her from what part
of France she came. On learning that she was from Alais in
Provence, he talked of Arles, Nismes, Beaucaire, Tarascon,
Avignon and the neighbourhood, thinking to please her, until, to
his utter amazement and horror, she turned upon him with a vile,
spitting oath, bade him be silent, and then burst into
tears. Feeling more shocked, unhappy and miserable than he
had ever felt before, he begged the girl to accept his regrets and
apologies—as well as his farewell—and to tell him if
he could in any way compensate her for the unintentional hurt he
had somehow inflicted.
On her sullen reply of “Argent comptant porte
médecine,” Bertram dropped a fifty rupee note into
her lap and literally fled from the house. . . .
. . . Yes—a rotten night with a beastly
anti-climax to the wonderful day on which he had received . . .
he, of all people in the world! . . . had received orders
to proceed to the Front. . . . Bertram Greene on Active
Service! How could he have the impudence—and it all
began again and was revolved once more in his weary mind. . .
.
Dawn brought something of hope and a little peace to the
perturbed soul of the over-anxious boy.
As he arrayed himself in all his war-paint, after his
sleepless and unhappy night, Bertram felt feverish, and
afraid. His head throbbed violently, and he had that
distressing sensation of being remorselessly urged on, fatedly
fury-driven and compelled to do all things with terrible haste
and hurry.
Excitement, anxiety, sleeplessness and the conflicting
emotions of hope and fear, were taking their toll of the nervous
energy and vitality of the over-civilised youth.
He felt alarmed at his own alarm, and anxious about his own
anxiety—and feared that, at this rate, he would be worn out
before he began, a physical and mental wreck, fitter for a
hospital-ship than a troop-ship, before ever he started.
“The lad’s over-engined for his beam,”
observed Murray to himself, as he lay on his camp cot, drinking
his choti hazri tea, and watching Bertram, who, with white
face and trembling fingers, stood making more haste than speed,
as he fumbled with straps and buckles. “Take it easy,
my son,” he said kindly. “There’s tons of
time, and then some. I’ll see you’re not late.
. . .”
“Thanks, Murray,” replied Bertram,
“but—”
“Here—take those belts off at once,”
interrupted the Adjutant. “Take the lot off and lie
down again—and smoke this cigarette. . . . At
once, d’ye hear?” and the tone was such that
Bertram complied without comment. He sank on to the
camp-bed, swung up his long legs, with their heavy boots, shorts,
and puttees and puffed luxuriously. He had intended to be a
non-smoker as well as a teetotaller, now that he was
“mobilised,” but it would be as well to obey Murray
now and begin his abstinence from tobacco when he got on
board. He lay and smoked obediently, and soon felt, if not
better, at least calmer, cooler and quieter.
“Blooming old tub won’t start till
to-night—you see’f she does,” said
Murray. “Sort of thing we always do in the Army. . .
. Always. . . . Harry and hurry everybody on
parade at seven, to catch a boat that doesn’t profess to
sail till two, and probably won’t actually do it till
midnight.”
“I should die of shame if I were late for my first
parade,” said Bertram anxiously.
“You’d die of the Colonel, if you didn’t of
shame,” was the reply. . . . “I’ll see
you’re not late. You take things a bit easier, my
son. Your King and Country want you in East Africa, not in
a lunatic asylum—”
“Pappa! What part did you take in the
Great War?” squeaked a falsetto voice from the door,
and looking up, Bertram beheld Lieutenant Bludyer, always merry
and bright, arrayed in crimson, scarlet-frogged pyjama coat, and
pink pyjama trousers. On his feet were vermilion velvet
slippers.
“I’ll take a leading part in your dirty
death,” said the Adjutant, turning to the speaker, or
squeaker.
“Thought this might be useful, Greene,” continued
Bludyer in his natural voice, as he handed Bertram a slab of thin
khaki linen and a conical cap of a kind of gilded corduroy.
“Make yourself a regimental puggri in the day of
battle. Put the cap on your nut and wind the turban over
it. . . . Bloke with a helmet and a white face hasn’t
an earthly, advancing with a line of Sepoys in
puggris. The enemy give him their united attention
until he is outed. . . .”
“Oh, thanks, awfully, Bludyer,” began Bertram.
“So go dirty till your face is like Murray’s, grow
a hoary, hairy beard, an’ wear a turban on your fat
head,” continued Bludyer. “Your orderly
could do it on for you, so that it wouldn’t all come down
when you waggled. . . .”
“Thanks, most awfully. It’s exceedingly kind
of you, Bludyer,” acknowledged Bertram, and proceeded to
stuff the things into his haversack.
“Wow! Wow!” ejaculated Bludyer.
“Nice-mannered lad and well brought up, ain’t he,
Randolph Murray?” and seating himself on that
officer’s bed, he proceeded to use the tea-cosy as a
foot-warmer, the morning being chilly.
The Adjutant arose and proceeded to dress.
“Devil admire me!” he suddenly shouted, pointing
at Bertram. “Look at that infernal lazy swine! Did
you ever see anything like it, Bludyer? Lying hogging
there, lolling and loafing in bed, as if he had all day to finish
nothing in! . . . Here, get up, you idle hound, and earn
your living. Dress for parade, if you can do nothing
else.”
And Bertram gathered that he might now get on with his
preparations.
“Yes,” added Bludyer, “you really ought to
get on with the war, Greene. Isn’t he a
devil-may-care fellow, Murray? He don’t give a damn
if it snows,” and adding that it was his flute-night at the
Mission, and he now must go, the young gentleman remained seated
where he was.
“You aren’t hurrying a bit, Greene,” he
remarked, after eyeing Bertram critically for a few
minutes. “He won’t prosper and grow rich like
that, will he, Randolph Murray? That is not how the
Virtuous Apprentice got on so nicely, and married his
master’s aunt. . . . No. . . . And Samuel
Smiles was never late for parade—of that I’m quite
certain. No. ‘Self-help’ was
his motto, and the devil take the other fellow. . .
. Let me fasten that for you. This strap goes under
not over. . . .” And, with his experienced
assistance, Bertram was soon ready, and feeling like a trussed
fowl and a Christmas-tree combined, by the time he had festooned
about him his sword, revolver, full ammunition-pouches,
field-glasses, water-bottle, belt-haversack, large haversack,
map-case, compass-pouch, whistle-lanyard, revolver-lanyard,
rolled cape, and the various belts, straps and braces connected
with these articles.
By the time the last buckle was fastened, he longed to take
the whole lot off again for a few minutes, and have a really comfortable
breathe. (But he did wish Miranda Walsingham could
see him.)
* * * * *
In a corner of the parade-ground stood the Hundred, the
selected draft which was to proceed to Africa to fill the gaps
that war had torn in the ranks of the Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth. On their flank the regimental band was drawn
up in readiness to play them to the docks. The men wore
khaki turbans, tunics, shorts, puttees and hob-nailed boots, and
carried only haversacks, water-bottles, bandoliers, rifles and
bayonets. The rest of their kit, each man’s done up
in a neat bundle inside his waterproof ground-sheet and striped
cotton sleeping-dhurrie, had gone on in bullock-carts to
await them at the wharf.
Around the Hundred stood or squatted the remainder of the
battalion, in every kind and degree of dress and undress.
Occasionally one of these would arise and go unto his pal in the
ranks, fall upon his neck, embrace him once again, shake both his
hands alternately, and then return to the eligible site whence,
squatting on his heels, he could feast his eyes upon his
bhai, his brother, his friend, so soon to be torn from
him. . . . As the officers approached, these spectators
fell back. Bertram’s heart beat so violently that he
feared the others would hear it. Was he going to have
“palpitations” and faint, or throw a fit or
something? He was very white, and felt very ill. Was
his ignorance and incompetence to be exposed and manifested now?
. . .
“Look fierce and take over charge, my son,” said
the Adjutant, as the small party of officers came in front of the
draft.
“Company!” shouted Bertram,
“Shun!”
That was all right. He had hit the note nicely, and his
voice had fairly boomed. He had heard that men judge a new
officer by his voice, more than anything.
The Hundred sprang to attention, and Bertram, accompanied by
the Adjutant and Macteith, walked slowly down the front rank and
up the rear, doing his best to look as though he were critically
and carefully noting certain points, and assuring himself that
certain essentials were in order. He was glad that he had
not suddenly to answer such a question as “What
exactly are you peering at and looking for?” He
wished he had sufficient Hindustani to ask a stern but not
unkindly question here and there, or to make an occasional
comment in the manner of one from whom no military thing is
hid. He suddenly remembered that he knew the Hindustani for
“How old are you?” so he asked this question of a man
whose orange-coloured beard would obviously have been white but
for henna dye. Not in the least understanding the
man’s reply, he remarked “H’m!” in
excellent imitation of the Colonel, and passed on.
“Not the absolute pick of the regiment, I should think,
are they?” he remarked to Murray, as they returned to the
front of the company.
“They are not,” he said.
“Pretty old, some of them,” added Bertram, who was
privately hoping that he did not look such a fraudulent Ass as he
felt.
Major Fordinghame strolled up and returned the salutes of the
group of officers.
“This experienced officer thinks the draft is not the
pure cream of the regiment, Major,” said Murray, indicating
Bertram.
“Fancy that, now,” replied Major Fordinghame, and
Bertram blushed hotly.
“I thought some of them seemed rather old, sir,”
he said, “but—er—perhaps old soldiers are
better than young ones?”
“It’s a matter of taste—as the monkey said
when he chewed his father’s ear,” murmured
Bludyer.
Silence fell upon the little group.
“And both have their draw-backs—as the monkey said
when she pulled her twins’ tails,” he added
pensively.
Bertram wondered what he had better do next.
The Native Officer of the draft came hurrying up, and
saluted. Another Hindustani sentence floated into
Bertram’s mind. “You are late, Jemadar
Sahib,” said he, severely.
Jemadar Hassan Ali poured forth a torrent of excuse or
explanation which Bertram could not follow.
“What do you do if a Havildar or Naik or Sepoy is late
for parade?” he asked, or attempted to ask, in slow and
barbarous Hindustani.
Another torrent of verbiage, scarcely a word of which was
intelligible to him.
He put on a hard, cold and haughty look, or attempted to do
so, and kept, perforce, an eloquent but chilling silence.
Murray and the Major exchanged glances.
“Greene Sahib is very particular and very
strict, Jemadar Sahib,” said the Major. “You had
better bear it in mind, and tell the men too. He’ll
stand no sort of nonsense from anybody. You’ll find
him very kind so long as he is satisfied, but if he
isn’t—well!” and the Major shrugged his
shoulders expressively.
Bertram looked gratefully at the Major (for he understood
“Englishman’s Hindustani”), and as sternly as
he could at the Jemadar, who saluted again and retired.
The Colonel rode up, and the officers sprang to attention.
“Everything ready, sir,” said the Adjutant.
“They can march off when you like.”
“H’m!” said the Colonel, and stared at
Bertram as though he honestly and unaffectedly did wonder why God
made such things. He then wheeled his horse towards the
waiting Hundred. “Men of the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth,” said he in faultless Hindustani, “you
are now going across the Black Water to fight the enemies of the
King Emperor, and of yourselves. They would like to conquer
your country and oppress you. You go to fight for your own
homes and children, as well as for your Emperor. Bring
honour to your regiment and yourselves. Show the
Germanis and their Hubshis [50] what Indian Sepoys can do—both in
time of battle and in time of hunger, thirst, and hardship.
Before God I say I would give anything to come with you, but I
have to do my duty here—for the present. We may meet
again in Africa. Good-bye. Good luck. . . .
Good-bye. . . .” The Jemadar called for three cheers
for the Colonel, and the Hundred lustily cried:
“’Eep, ’Eep,
’Oorayee.” The remainder of the regiment
joined in, and then cheered the Hundred. Meanwhile, the
Colonel turned to Bertram.
“Good-by, young Greene. Good luck,” he said,
and leaning from his horse, wrung Bertram’s hand as though
it had been that of his only son.
Similarly did the others, with minor differences.
“Well—it’s useless to weep these unavailing
tears,” sobbed Bludyer. “There’s an end
to everything, as the monkey said when he seized the tip of his
mother’s nose. . . .”
“Farewell, my blue-nosed, golden-eyed, curly-eared
Mother’s Darling,” said Macteith.
“Good luck, sonny. Write and let me know how you
get on,” said Murray. “You’ll do.
You’ve got the guts all right, and you’ll very soon
get the hang of things. . . .”
“March ’em off, now,” he added.
“Chuck a chest, and don’t give a damn for
anybody,” and Bertram carefully collected his voice,
swallowed a kind of lump in his throat, bade his wildly beating
heart be still, gave thought to the drill-book, and roared:
“Company! . . . ’Shun! . . .
Slope Arms! . . . Form fours! . . .
Right! . . . Quick march!”—the
band struck up—and they were off.
Yes, he, Bertram Greene, pale clerkly person, poet and
æsthete, was marching proudly, in full military attire, at
the head of a hundred fighting-men—marching to the
inspiring strains of the regimental band, to where the trooper
waited on the tide! If his father could only see him!
He was happy as he had never been before in his life, and he was
proud as he never had been before. . . . If Miranda
could only see him! He, Bertram Greene, was actually
marching to war, with sword on thigh, and head held high, in sole
command of a hundred trained fighting-men!
His heart beat very fast, but without pain now, and he was,
for the moment, free of his crushing sense of inadequacy,
inexperience and unworthiness. He was only conscious of a
great pride, a great hope, and a great determination to be
worthy, so far as in him lay the power, of his high fate. . .
.
No man forgets his first march at the head of his own force,
if he forgets his first march in uniform. For Bertram this
was both. It was his first march in uniform, and he was in
whole and sole control of this party—like a Centurion of
old tramping the Roman Road at the head of his hundred
Legionaries—and Bertram felt he would not forget it if he
lived till his years equalled the number of his men.
It was not a very long march, and it was certainly not a very
picturesque one—along the cobbled Dock Road, with its
almost innumerable cotton-laden bullock-carts—but Bertram
trod on air through a golden dream city and was exalted, brother
to the Knights of Arthur who quested for the Grail and went about
to right the wrong and to succour the oppressed. . . .
Arrived at the dock-gates, he was met and guided aright, by a
brassarded myrmidon of the Embarkation Staff Officer, to where His
Majesty’s Transport Elymas lay in her basin beside a
vast shed-covered wharf.
Beneath this shed, Bertram halted his men, turned them into
line, and bade them pile arms, fall out, and sit them down in
close proximity to their rifles.
Leaving the Jemadar in charge, he then went up the gangway of
the Elymas in search of the said Embarkation Staff
Officer, who, he had been told, would allot him and his men their
quarters on the ship. As he gazed around the deserted
forward well-deck, he saw an officer, who wore a lettered red
band round his arm, hurrying towards him along the promenade
deck, his hands full of papers, a pencil in his mouth, and a
careworn, worried look upon his face.
“You Greene, by any chance?” he called, as he ran
sideway down the narrow ladder from the upper deck.
“Yes, sir,” replied Bertram, saluting as he
perceived that the officer was a captain. “Just
arrived with a draft of a hundred men from the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth,” he added proudly.
“Good dog,” was the reply, “keep the
perishers out of it for a bit till I’m ready. . . .
Better come with me now though, and I’ll show you,
one, where they’re to put their rifles; two,
where they’re to put themselves; three, where they
will do their beastly cooking; and four, where you will
doss down yourself. . . . Don’t let there be any
mistakes, because there are simply millions more coming,”
and he led the way to a companion hatch in the after well-deck,
and clattered down a ladder into the bowels of the ship, Bertram
following him in his twists and turns with a growing sense of
bewilderment.
He was very glad to hear that he and his merry men were not to
have the ship to themselves, for there were a thousand and one
points that he would be very glad to be able to refer to the
decision of Authority, or the advice of Experience.
The Embarkation Officer, dripping and soaked and sodden with
perspiration, as was Bertram himself, wound his devious way,
along narrow passages, ladders and tunnels, to a kind of
cage-like cloak-room fitted with racks.
“Your men’ll come here in single file, by the way
we have come,” said he, “enter this armoury one by
one, leave their rifles on these racks, and go up that ladder to
the deck above, and round to the ladder leading out on the
forward well-deck. You’ll have to explain it
carefully, and shepherd ’m along too, or there’ll be
a jam and loss of life and—worse—loss of time. . .
. In the early days we managed badly on one occasion and
got a crowd of Sikhs pushing against a crowd of Pathans. . .
.” He then led the disintegrating Bertram by devious
paths to a dark oven-like and smelly place (which Bertram
mentally labelled “the horizontal section of the
fo’c’sle, three storeys down”) in which the
Hundred were to live, or to die—poor devils! There
would hardly be standing room—and thence to the scene of
their culinary labours. Lastly, when the bewildered youth
was again feeling very ill, the Embarkation Officer retraced his
steps, showed him certain water-taps for the use of his men, and
led the way up and out to the blessed light of day, fresh air,
and the comparative coolness of the deck. “Your
cabin’s along here,” said he, entering a long
corridor that debouched on to the well-deck.
“Let’s see, Number 43, I think. Yes. A
two-berth cabin to yourself—and last trip we had three
generals in a one-berth cabin, four colonels in a bath at once,
and five common officers on top of one another in each chair at
table. . . . Fact—I assure you. . . . Go in and
chuck away all that upholstery—you can run about in your
shirt-sleeves now, or naked if you like, so long as you wear a
helmet to show you are in uniform. . . . Bye-bye—be a
good boy,” and he bustled away.
Bertram thankfully took the Embarkation Officer’s
advice, and cast off all impedimenta until he was clad only in
khaki shirt, shorts, puttees and boots. He thought he could
enter into the feelings of a butterfly as it emerges from the
constricting folds of its cocoon.
He sat down for a minute on the white bed prepared for his
occupation. The other was cumbered with his valise, sack,
and strapped bundle, which had come down on the first of the
bullock-carts and been brought on board at once. He looked
round the well-appointed, spotless cabin, with its white paint
and mahogany fittings, electric fans and lights. That one
just beside his pillow would be jolly for reading in bed.
Anyhow, he’d have a comfortable and restful voyage.
What a blessing that he had a cabin to himself, and what a pity
that the voyage took only about ten days. . . . Would life
on a troop-ship be a thing of disciplined strenuousness, or would
it be just a perfectly slack time for everybody? . . . It
should be easy for him to hide his ignorance while on
board—there couldn’t be very much in the way of
drill. . . . How his head throbbed, and how seedy and tired
he felt! . . . He lay back on his bed and then sprang up in
alarm and horror at what he had done. A pretty way to
commence his Active Service!—and, putting on his heavy and
uncomfortable helmet, he hurried to the wharf.
Going down the gangway, he again encountered the Embarkation
Officer.
“Better let your men file on board with their rifles
first, and then off again for their kits and bedding, and then
back again to the quarters I showed you. Having pegged out
their claims there, and each man hung his traps on the peg above
his sleeping-mat, they can go up on the after well-deck and
absolutely nowhere else. See? And no man to leave the
ship again, on any pretence whatever. Got it?”
“Yes, sir,” replied Bertram, and privately
wondered if he would even find his way again to that cage-like
cloak-room in the hold, and that “horizontal section of the
fo’c’sle three storeys down.”
But he must do this, his very first job, absolutely
correctly, and without any bungling and footling. He must
imagine that he was going in for an examination again—an
examination this time in quite a new subject, “The art of
getting men on board a ship, bedding them down, each with his own
bundle of kit, in one place, and storing their rifles in another,
without confusion or loss of time.” Quite a
new subject, and one in which previous studies, Classics,
Literature, Philosophy, Art, were not going to be of any great
value.
Perhaps it would be as well to take the Jemadar, Havildars and
Naiks on a personally conducted tour to the armoury, quarters,
cooking-places and taps, and explain the modus operandi to
them as well as he could. One can do a good deal to eke out
a scanty knowledge of the vernacular by means of signs and
wonders—though sometimes one makes the signs and the other
person wonders. . . .
Returning to the oven-like shed, resonant with the piercing
howls of byle-ghari-wallas, [54] coolies, Lascars and
overseers; the racking rattle and clang and clatter of chains,
cranes, derricks and donkey-engines; the crashing of iron-bound
wheels over cobble-stones, and the general pandemonium of a busy
wharf, he beckoned the Jemadar to him and made him understand
that he wanted a couple of Havildars and four Naiks to accompany
him on board.
Suddenly he had a bright idea. (Good old drill-book and
retentive memory of things read, heard, or seen!) . . .
“Why have you set no sentry over the arms, Jemadar
Sahib? It should not be necessary for me to have to give
the order,” he said as well as he could in his halting
Hindustani.
The Jemadar looked annoyed—and distinctly felt as he
looked. Half the men had heard the reproof. He, an
old soldier of fifteen years’ service, to be set right by a
child like this! And the annoying part of it was that the
amateur was right! Of course he should have put a sentry
over the arms. It was probably the first time he had
omitted to do so, when necessary, since he had first held
authority . . . and he raged inwardly. There are few things
that annoy an Indian more than to be “told off”
before subordinates, particularly when he is obviously in the
wrong. Was this youthful Greene Sahib a person of more
knowledge and experience than had been reported by the
Adjutant’s Office babu? The babu had
certainly described him as one whom the other officers laughed at
for his ignorance and inexperience. Had not the worthy
Chatterji Chuckerbutti related in detail how Macteith Sahib had
called upon his gods and feigned great sickness after offensively
examining Greene Sahib through his field-glasses? Strange
and unfathomable are the ways of Sahibs, and perhaps the true
inwardness of the incident had been quite otherwise? It
might have been an honorific ceremony, in fact, and Macteith
Sahib might have feigned sickness at his own unworthiness,
according to etiquette? . . . After all, the military
salute itself is only a motion simulating the shading of
one’s eyes from the effulgent glory of the person one
salutes; and the Oriental bowing and touching the forehead is
only a motion simulating taking up dust and putting it on
one’s head. . . . Yes—the babu may have
been wrong, and Macteith Sahib may really have been acclaiming
Greene Sahib his superior, and declaring his own miserable
unworthiness. . . . One never knew with Sahibs. Their
minds are unreadable, and one can never get at what they are
thinking, or grasp their point of view. One could only rest
assured that there is always method in their madness—that
they are
clever as devils, brave as lions, and—averse from giving
commissions as lieutenants, captains, majors, and colonels to
Indian Native Officers. . .
“Get a move on, Jemadar Sahib,” said the voice of
Greene Sahib curtly, in English, and the Jemadar bustled off to
set the sentry and call the Havildars and Naiks—rage in his
heart. . . .
More easily than he had expected, Bertram found his way, at
the head of the party, to the required places, and showed the
Jemadar and Non-commissioned Officers how the men should come and
depart, in such manner as to avoid hindering each other and to
obviate the possibility of a jam.
The Jemadar began to ask questions, and Bertram began to
dislike the Jemadar. He was a talker, and appeared to be
what schoolboys call “tricky.” He knew that
Bertram had very little Hindustani, and seemed anxious to
increase the obviousness of the fact.
Bertram felt unhappy and uncomfortable. He wished to be
perfectly courteous to him as a Native Officer, but it would not
do to let the man mistake politeness for weakness, and
inexperience for inefficiency. . . . Was there a faint
gleam of a grin on the fellow’s face as he said: “I
do not understand,” at the end of Bertram’s attempt
at explanation?
“Do you understand?” the latter said,
suddenly, turning to the senior Havildar, the man who had turned
out the Guard for him on his first approach to the Lines on that
recent day that seemed so long ago.
“Han, [56a]
Sahib,” replied the man instantly and readily.
“Béshak!” [56b]
“Then you’d better explain to the Jemadar Sahib,
who does not,” said Bertram with a click of his jaw, as he
turned to depart.
The Jemadar hastened to explain that he fully
understood, as Bertram strode off. Apparently complete
apprehension had come as soon as he realised that his dullness
was to be enlightened by the explanation of the quicker-witted
Havildar. He gave that innocent and unfortunate man a look
of bitter hatred, and, as he followed Bertram, he ground his
teeth. Havildar Afzul Khan Ishak should live to learn the
extreme unwisdom of understanding things that Jemadar Hassan Ali
professed not to understand. As for Second-Lieutenant
Greene—perhaps he should live to learn the unwisdom of quarrelling
with an experienced Native Officer who was the sole channel of
communication between that stranger and the Draft at whose head
he had been placed by a misguided Sircar. . . .
Returning to the wharf, and conscious that he had a splitting
head, a sticky mouth, shaking limbs, sore throat and husky voice,
Bertram roared orders to the squatting Sepoys, who sprang up,
fell in, unpiled arms, and marched in file up the gangway and
down into the bowels of the ship, shepherded and directed by the
Non-commissioned Officers whom he had posted at various strategic
points. All went well, and, an hour later, his first job
was successfully accomplished. His men were on board and
“shaking down” in their new quarters. He was
free to retire to his cabin, bathe his throbbing head, and lie
down for an hour or so.
* * * * *
At about midday he arose refreshed, and went on deck, with the
delightful feeling that, his own labours of the moment
accomplished, he could look on at the accomplishment of those of
others. Excellent! . . . And for many days to come he
would be free from responsibility and anxiety, he would have a
time of rest, recuperation, and fruitful thought and study. . .
. Throughout the morning detachments of Sepoys of the
Indian Army and Imperial Service Troops continued to arrive at
the wharf and to embark. Bertram was much interested in a
double-company of Gurkhas under a Gurkha Subedar, their yellowish
Mongolian faces eloquent of determination, grit, and
hardiness.
They contrasted strongly with a company of tall, hairy Sikhs,
almost twice their size, man for man, but with evidences of more
enthusiasm than discipline in their bearing. Another
interesting unit was a band of warriors of very mixed
nationality, under a huge Jemadar who looked a picture of fat
contentment, his face knowing no other expression than an
all-embracing smile. It was whispered later that this unit
saw breech-loading rifles for the first time, on board the
Elymas, having been more familiar, hitherto, with jezails,
jingals, match-locks, flintlocks, and blunderbusses.
Probably a gross exaggeration, or an invention of Lieutenant
Stanner, of the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth, who gave them the name
of “The Mixed Pickles.”
All three of these detachments were Imperial Service
Troops—that is to say, were in the service of various Indian
Rajahs—but were of very different value, both the Gurkhas
and the Sikhs being as good material as could be found among
native troops anywhere in the world.
To Bertram, the picture of the little Gurkha Subedar, the tall
Sikh Subedar, and the burly Jemadar of the Mixed Pickles, was a
very interesting one, as the three stood together on the wharf,
eyeing each other like three strange dogs of totally different
breeds—say, a fighting terrier, a wolf-hound and a
mastiff.
With a snap and a slick, and a smart “One
two,” a company of British Infantry arrived and
embarked. Beside the Mixed Pickles they were as a Navy
motor-launch beside a native bunderboat. At them they
smiled amusedly, at the Sikhs they stared, and at the Gurkhas
they grinned appreciatively.
The news having spread that the Elymas would not start
until the morrow, various visitors came on board, in search of
friends whom they knew to be sailing by her. Captain Stott,
R.A.M.C., came over from the Madras hospital ship, in
search of Colonel Haldon. Murray and Macteith came down to
see Stanner, of the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth, and one Terence
Brannigan, of the Baluchis. . . .
“Who’s the chap on your right, Colonel?”
asked Captain Stott, of gentle and kindly old Colonel Haldon at
dinner that evening. “Rather an unusual face to be
‘in’ khaki—or one would have said so before the
war,” and he indicated Bertram.
“Dunno,” was the reply. “Stranger to
me. Nice-lookin’ boy. . . . Looks a wee-trifle
more like a chaplain than a butcher, as you say,” though
Captain Stott had not said that at all.
Seeing Bertram talking to Murray and Macteith after dinner,
Captain Stott asked the latter who he was, for physiognomy and
character-study were a hobby of his.
Macteith told him what he knew, and added: “And
they’re sending that half-baked milksop to British
East” (and implied: “While I, Lieutenant and
Quartermaster Reginald Macteith, remain to kick my heels at the
depot.”)
Next day the Elymas began her voyage, a period of
delightful dolce far niente that passed like a dream,
until one wonderful evening, the palm-clad shores of Africa
“arose from out of the azure sea,” and, with a great
thrill of excitement, hope, anxiety and fear Bertram gazed upon the
beautiful scene, as the Elymas threaded the lovely
Kilindini Creek which divides the Island of Mombasa from the
mainland.
And on those same palm-clad shores that arose from out the
azure sea, an unhappy woman had been expiating, by long years of
bitter suffering, in tears and shame and humiliation, the madness
of a moment. . . .
Mrs. Stayne-Brooker’s life in German East Africa was, if
possible less happy than her life in the British colony.
The men she met in Nairobi, Mombasa, Zanzibar, Witu or Lamu,
though by no means all gentlemen, all treated her as a
gentlewoman; while the men she met in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanga,
Tabora, Lindi or Bukoba, whether “gentlemen” or
otherwise, did not. In British East Africa her husband was
treated by planters, Government officials, sportsmen, and Army
men, as the popular and cheery old Charlie Stayne-Brooker—a
good man in the club-bar, card-room and billiard-room, on the
racecourse, at the tent club, and on shooting trips. With
several Assistant District Commissioners and officers of the
King’s African Rifles he was very intimate. In German
East Africa he was treated differently—in a way difficult
to define. It was as though he were a person of importance,
but déclassé and contemptible, and this
impression she gained in spite of her knowing no German (a
condition of ignorance upon which her husband insisted).
The average German official and officer, whether of the exiled
Junker class, or of plebeian origin, she loathed—partly
because they seemed to consider her “fair game,” and
made love to her, in more or less broken English, without shame
or cessation. Nor did it make life easier for the poor lady
that her husband appeared to take delight in the fact. She
wondered whether this was due to pride in seeing a possession of
his coveted by his “high-well-born,” and other,
compatriots, or to a desire to keep ever before her eyes a
realisation of what her fate would be if he cast her off, or she
ran away from him.
Worst of all was life in the isolated lonely house on his
coffee and
rubber plantation, where for months on end she would never see a
white face but his, and for weeks on end, when he was away on his
mysterious affairs, no white face at all. . . . And at the
bottom of his compound were bandas, grass huts, in an
enclosure, wherein dwelt native women. . . .
One night, in the year 1914, she sat alone in the silent
lonely house, thinking of her daughter Eva at Cheltenham, of her
happy, if hapless, girlhood in her father’s house, of her
brief married life with an honourable English gentleman (oh, the
contrast!), and wondering how much longer she could bear her
punishment. . . Suddenly and noiselessly appeared in the
verandah her husband’s chief factotum, head house-boy, and
familiar, one Murad, an Arab-Swahili, whom she feared and
detested.
“Bwana coming,” said he shortly, and as
noiselessly disappeared.
Going out on to the verandah, she saw her husband and a few
“boys” (gun-bearers, porters, and servants) coming
through the garden. It was seven weeks since she had seen
or heard anything of him.
“Pack,” was his greeting, “at once.
You start on safari to the railway as soon as possible, or
sooner. You are going to Mombasa. I have cabled to
Eva to come out by the next boat. . . . P. and O. to Aden,
and thence to Mombasa. . . . She should be here in three
weeks or so . . .” and he went off to bath and
change. At dinner he informed her that she was to settle at
Mombasa with Eva, make as many new friends as possible,
entertain, and generally be the most English of English matrons
with the most English of English daughters—the latter fresh
from boarding-school in England. . . . Dear old Charlie
Stayne-Brooker, it was to be known, had gone to Bukoba, to the
wonderful sleeping-sickness hospital, for diagnosis of an
illness. Nothing serious, really, of course—but one
couldn’t be too careful when one had trouble with the
glands of the neck, and certain other symptoms, after spending
some time in that beastly tsetse-fly country. . . . She was
to give the impression that he had made light of it, and quite
“taken her in”—wouldn’t dream of allowing
his wife and daughter to go up there. People were to form
the opinion that poor old Charlie might be in a worse way than
his wife imagined.
And if such a thing as war broke out; if such a
thing came to pass, mark you; her house in Mombasa was to be a
perfect Home-from-Home for the officers of the British
Expeditionary Force which would undoubtedly be dispatched from
India. It would almost certainly be the Nth Division from
Bombay—so she need not anticipate the pleasure of receiving
her late husband and his friends. . . . Further
instructions she would receive in the event of war, but
meanwhile, and all the time, her business was to demonstrate the
utter Englishness of the Stayne-Brooker family, and to keep her
eyes and ears open. What General or Staff-Officer will not
“talk” to a beautiful woman—of the right
sort? Eh? Ha-Ha! That was her business in Mombasa
now—and ten times more so if war broke out—to
be a beautiful woman—of the right sort, tremendously
popular with the people who know things and do things.
Moreover, Eva, her daughter, was to be trained right sedulously
to be a beautiful woman—of the right sort. . . .
Staff-officers in her pocket. Eh? Ha-Ha! . . .
And, sick at heart, loving her daughter, loathing her husband,
and loathing the unspeakable rôle he would force upon her,
Mrs. Stayne-Brooker travelled to Mombasa, met her daughter with
mingled joy and terror, happiness and apprehensive misery, and
endeavoured to serve two masters—her conscience and her
husband.
“If you’d like to go ashore and have a look at
Mombasa after tiffin, Mr. Greene,” said the fourth officer
of the Elymas to Bertram, the next morning, as he leant
against the rail and gazed at the wonderful palm-forest of the
African shore, “some of us are going for a row—to
stretch our muscles. We could drop you at the Kilindini
bunder.”
“Many thanks,” replied Bertram. “I
shall be very much obliged,” and he smiled his very
attractive and pleasant smile.
This was a welcome offer, for, privately, he hated being taken
ashore from a ship by natives of the harbour in which the ship
lay. One never knew exactly what to pay the wretches.
If one asked what the fare was, they always named some absurd
amount, and if one used one’s common sense and gave them
what seemed a reasonable sum they were inevitably hurt, shocked,
disappointed in one, indignantly broken-hearted, and invariably
waxed clamorous, protestful, demanding more. It had been
the same at Malta, Port Said and Aden on his way out to
India. In Bombay harbour he had once gone for a morning
sail in a bunderboat, and on their return, the captain of the
crew of three had demanded fifteen rupees for a two-hour
sail. A pound for two hours in a cranky
sailing-boat!—and the scoundrels had followed him up the
steps clamouring vociferously, until a native policeman had
fallen upon them with blows and curses. . . . How he wished
he was of those men who can give such people their due in such a
manner that they receive it in respectful silence, with apparent
contentment, if not gratitude. Something in the eye and the
set of the jaw, evidently—and so was glad of the fourth
officer’s kind suggestion.
He would have been still more glad had he heard the fourth
officer announce, at table, to his colleagues: “I offered
to drop that chap, Lieutenant Greene, at Kilindini this
afternoon, when we go for our grind. He can take the
tiller-ropes. . . . I like him the best of the lot—no
blooming swank and side about him.”
“Yes,” agreed the “wireless” operator,
“he doesn’t talk to you as though he owned the earth,
but was really quite pleased to let you stand on it for a bit. .
. . I reckon he’ll do all right, though, when he
gets-down-to-it with the Huns—if he doesn’t get done
in. . . .”
And so it came to pass that Bertram was taken ashore that
afternoon by some half-dozen officers and officials (including
the doctor, the purser, and the Marconi operator) of the
Elymas—worthy representatives of that ill-paid,
little-considered service, that most glorious and beyond-praise,
magnificent service, the British Mercantile Marine—and,
landing in state upon the soil of the Dark Continent, knew
“the pleasure that touches the souls of men landing on
strange shores.”
Arrived at the top of the stone steps of the Kilindini quay,
Bertram encountered Africa in the appropriately representative
person of a vast negro gentleman, who wore a red fez cap (or
tarboosh), a very long white calico night-dress and an
all-embracing smile.
“Jambo!” quoth the huge Ethiopian, and
further stretched his lips an inch nearer to his ears on either
side.
Not
being aware that the African “Jambo” is
equivalent to the Indian “Salaam,” and means
“Greeting and Good Health,” or words to that effect,
Bertram did not counter with a return “Jambo,”
but nodded pleasantly and said: “Er—good
afternoon.”
Whereupon the ebon one remarked: “Oh, my God, sah, ole
chap, thank you,” to show, in the first place, that he
quite realised the situation (to wit, Bertram’s excusable
ignorance of Swahili-Arabic), and that he was himself,
fortunately, a fluent English scholar. Bertram stared in
amazement at the pleasant-faced, friendly-looking giant.
“Bwana will wanting servant, ole chap,”
continued the negro, “don’t it? I am best
servant for Bwana. Speaking English like hell, sah,
please. Waiting here for Bwana before long time to
come. Good afternoon, thank you, please, Master, by damn,
ole chap. Also bringing letter for Bwana. . .
. You read, thanks awfully, your mos’ obedient
servant by damn, oh, God, thank you, sah,” and produced a
filthy envelope from some inner pocket of the aforementioned
night-dress, which, innocent of buttons or trimming, revealed his
tremendous bare chest.
Bertram felt uncomfortable, and, for a moment, again wished
that he was one of those men-with-an-eye-and-a-jaw who could give
a glare, a grunt, and a jerk of the head which would cause the
most importunate native to fade unobtrusively away.
On the one hand, he knew it would be folly to engage as a
servant the first wandering scoundrel who accosted him and
suggested that he should do so; while, on the other, he
distinctly liked this man’s cheery, smiling face, he
realised that servants would probably be at a decided premium,
and he recognised the extreme desirability of having a servant,
if have one he must, who spoke English, however weird, and
understood it when spoken. Should he engage the man then
and there? Would he, by so doing, show himself a man of
quick decision and prompt action—one of those forceful,
incisive men he so admired? Or would he merely be acting
foolishly and prematurely, merely exhibiting himself as a rash
and unbalanced young ass? Anyhow, he would read the
“chits” which the filthy envelope presumably
contained. If these were satisfactory, he would tell the
man that the matter was under consideration, and that he might
look out for him again and hear his decision.
As
Bertram surmised, the envelope contained the man’s
“chits,” or testimonials. The first stated that
Ali Sloper, the bearer, had been on safari with the
writer, and had proved to be a good plain cook, a reliable and
courageous gun-carrier, a good shot, and an honest, willing
worker. The second was written by a woman whose house-boy
Ali Suleiman had been for two years in Mombasa, and who stated
that she had had worse ones. The third and last was written
at the Nairobi Club by a globe-trotting Englishman named
Stayne-Brooker, who had employed the man as personal
“boy” and headman of porters, on a protracted
lion-shooting trip across the Athi and Kapiti Plains and found
him intelligent, keen, cheery, and staunch. (Where had
he heard the name Stayne-Brooker before—or had he dreamed
it as a child?) Certainly this fellow was
well-recommended, and appeared to be just the man to take as
one’s personal servant on active service. But
did one take a servant on active service? One could
not stir, or exist, without one in India, and officers took syces
and servants with them on frontier campaigns—but Africa is
not India. . . . However, he could soon settle that point
by asking.
“I’ll think about it,” he said, returning
the chits. “I shall be coming ashore again to-morrow.
. . . How much pay do you want?”
“Oh, sah! Master not mentioning it!” was the
reply of this remarkable person. “Oh, nothing,
nothing, sah! Bwana offering me forty rupees a
mensem, I say ‘No, sah! Too much.’ . . .
Master not mention it.”
“It might not be half a bad idea to mention it,
y’know,” said Bertram, smiling and turning to move
on.
“Oh, God, sah, thank you, please,” replied Ali
Sloper, alias Ali Suleiman. “I do not wanting
forty. I am accepting thirty rupees, sah, and am now your
mos’ obedient servant by damn from the beginning for
ever. And when Bwana, loving me still more, can pay
more, ole chap. God bless my thank-you
soul”—and “fell in” behind Bertram as
though prepared to follow him thence to the end of the world or
beyond.
Bertram gazed around, and found that he was in a vast yard,
two sides of which were occupied by the largest corrugated-iron
sheds he had ever seen in his life. One of these appeared
to be the Customs shed, and into another a railway
wandered. Between two of them, great gates let a white
sandy road escape into the Unknown. On the stone quay the
heat, shut in and radiated by towering iron sheds, was the
greatest he had ever experienced, and he gasped for breath and
trickled with perspiration. He devoutly hoped that this was
not a fair sample of Africa’s normal temperature.
Doubtless it would be cooler away from the quay, which, with the
iron sheds, seemed to form a Titanic oven for the quick and
thorough baking of human beings. It being Sunday afternoon,
there were but few such, and those few appeared to be thoroughly
enjoying the roasting process, if one might judge from their
grinning faces and happy laughter. They were all Africans,
and, for the most part, clad in long, clean night-dresses and fez
caps. Evidently Ali Sloper or Suleiman was dressed in the
height of local fashion. On a bench, by the door of the
Customs shed, lounged some big negroes in dark blue tunics and
shorts, with blue puttees between bare knees and bare feet.
Their tall tarbooshes made them look even taller than they were,
and the big brass plates on their belt-buckles shone like
gold. Bertram wondered whether the Germans had just such
brawny giants in their Imperial African Rifles, and tried to
imagine himself defeating one of them in single combat. The
effort was a failure.
At the gates was a very different type of person, smarter,
quicker, more active and intelligent-looking, a Sikh Sepoy of the
local military police. The man sprang to attention and
saluted with a soldierly promptness and smartness that were a
pleasure to behold.
Outside the dock, the heat was not quite so intense, but the
white sandy road, running between high grass and palms, also ran
uphill, and, as the perspiration ran down his face, Bertram
wished he might discover the vilest, most ramshackle and
moth-eaten tikka-ghari that ever disgraced the streets of
Bombay. That the hope was vain he knew, and that in all the
island of Mombasa there is no single beast of burden, thanks to
the tsetse fly, whose sting is death to them. . . . And the
Mombasa Club, the Fort, and European quarter were at the opposite
side of the island, four miles away, according to report.
Where were these trolley-trams of which he had heard? If he
had to walk much farther up this hill, his uniform would look as
though he had swum ashore in it.
“Master buck up like hell, ole chap, thank you,”
boomed a voice behind. “Trolley as nearer as be
damned please. Niggers make push by Jove to Club, thank
God,” and turning, Bertram beheld the smiling Ali beaming down
upon him as he strolled immediately behind him.
“Go away, you ass,” replied the hot and irritated
Bertram, only to receive an even broader smile and the assurance
that his faithful old servant would never desert him—not
after having been his devoted slave since so long a time ago
before and for ever more after also. And a minute or two
later the weary warfarer came in sight of a very narrow, single
tram-line, beside the road. Where this abruptly ended stood
a couple of strange vehicles, like small, low railway-trolleys,
with wheels the size of dinner-plates. On each trolley was
a seat of sufficient length to accommodate two people, and above
the bench was a canvas roof or shade, supported by iron
rods. From a neighbouring bench sprang four men, also clad
in night-dresses and fez caps, who, with strange howls and
gesticulations, bore down upon the approaching European.
“Hapa, [66] Bwana!”
they yelled. “Trolley hapa,” and, for a
moment, Bertram thought they would actually seize him and
struggle for possession of his body. He determined that if
one of the shrieking fiends laid a hand upon him, he would smite
him with what violence he might. The heat was certainly
affecting his temper. He wondered what it would feel like
to strike a man—a thing he had never done in his
life. But, on reaching him, the men merely pointed to their
respective trolleys and skipped back to them, still pointing, and
apparently calling Heaven to witness their subtle excellences and
charms.
As Bertram was about to step on to the foremost trolley, the
men in charge of the other sprang forward with yelps of anguish,
only to receive cause for louder yelps of deeper anguish at the
hands of Ali, who, with blows and buffets, drove them before
him. Bertram wondered why the pair of them, each as big as
their assailant, should flee before him thus. Was it by
reason of Ali’s greater moral force, juster cause, superior
social standing as the follower of a white man, or merely the
fact that he took it upon him to be the aggressor. Probably
the last. Anyhow—thank Heaven for the gloriously cool
and refreshing breeze, caused by the rapid rush of the trolley
through the heavy air, as the trolley-“boys” ran it
down the decline from the hill-top whence they had started.
As soon
as the trolley had gained sufficient momentum, they leapt on to
the back of the vehicle, and there clung until it began to slow
down again. Up-hill they slowly pushed with terrific
grunts, on the level they maintained a good speed, and down-hill
the thing rattled, bumped and bounded at a terrific pace, the
while Bertram wondered how long it would keep the rails, and
precisely what would happen if it jumped them. Had he but
known it, there was a foot-brake beneath the seat, which he
should have used when going down-hill. ’Twas not for
the two specimens of Afric’s ebon sons, who perched and
clung behind him, to draw his attention to it. Was he not a
Bwana, a white man, and therefore one who knew all
things? And if he wanted to break his neck had he not a
right so to do? And if they, too, should be involved in the
mighty smash, would not that fact prove quite conclusively that
it was their kismet to be involved in the smash, and
therefore inevitable? Who shall avoid his fate? . . .
And so, in blissful ignorance, Bertram swooped down-hill in
joyous, mad career. He wished the pace were slower at
times, for everything was new and strange and most
interesting. Native huts, such as he had seen in pictures
(labelled “kaffir-kraals”) in his early geography
book, alternated with official-looking buildings, patches of
jungle; gardens of custard-apple, mango, paw-paw, banana, and
papai trees; neat and clean police-posts, bungalows, cultivated
fields, dense woods and occasional mosques, Arab houses,
go-downs, [67] temples, and native infantry
“lines.”
On the dazzlingly white road (which is made of coral and
nothing else) were few people. An occasional Indian Sepoy,
a British soldier, an askari of the King’s African
Rifles, an official peon with a belt-plate as big as a
saucer (and bearing some such legend as Harbour Police or
Civil Hospital), a tall Swahili in the inevitable long
night-dress and tarboosh, or a beautifully worked skull cap, a
file of native women clad each in a single garment of figured
cotton which extended from arm-pit to ankle, leaving the arms and
shoulders bare. The hairdressing of these ladies interested
Bertram, for each head displayed not one, but a dozen, partings,
running from the forehead to the neck, and suggesting the seams
on a football. At the end of each parting was a brief
pigtail bound with wire. Bertram wondered why these women
always walked one behind the other in single file, and decided that it was
an inherited and unconscious instinct implanted by a few thousand
years of use of narrow jungle-paths from which they dared not
stray as the armed men-folk did. . . .
After half an hour or so of travelling this thrillingly
interesting road, Bertram perceived that they were drawing near
to the busy haunts of men. From a church, a congregation of
Goanese or else African-Portuguese was pouring. The scene
was a very Indian one—the women, with their dusky faces and
long muslin veils worn sari-fashion over their European
dresses of cotton or satin; the men, with their rusty black suits
or cotton coats and trousers and European hats or solar
topis. One very venerable gentleman, whose ancestors
certainly numbered more Africans than Portuguese, wore a golfing
suit (complete, except for the stockings), huge hob-nailed boots,
and an over-small straw-yard with a gay ribbon. A fine
upstanding specimen of the race, obviously the idol of his young
wife, who walked beside him with her adoring gaze fixed upon his
shining face, began well with an authentic silk hat, continued
excellently with a swallow-tailed morning-coat, white waistcoat,
high collar and black satin tie, but fell away from these high
achievements with a pair of tight short flannel tennis-trousers,
grey Army socks, and white canvas shoes.
“An idol with feet of pipe-clay,” smiled Bertram
to himself, as his chariot drove heavily through the throng, and
his charioteers howled “Semeele!
Semeele!” at the tops of their voices.
Soon the tram-line branched and bifurcated, and tributary
lines joined it from garden-enclosed bungalows and side
turnings. Later he discovered that every private house has
its own private tram-line running from its front door down its
drive out to the main line in the street, and that, in Mombasa,
one keeps one’s own trolley for use on the public line, as
elsewhere one keeps one’s own carriage or motor-car.
On, past the Grand Hotel, a stucco building of two storeys,
went the rumbling, rattling vehicle, past a fine public garden
and blindingly white stucco houses that lined the blindingly
white coral road, across a public square adorned with flowering
shrubs and trees, to where arose a vast grey pile, the ancient
blood-drenched Portuguese fort, and a narrow-streeted,
whitewashed town of tall houses and low shops began.
Here the trolley-boys halted, and Bertram found himself at the
entrance of the garden of the Mombasa Club, which nestles in the
shadow of
its mighty neighbour, the Fort—where once resided the
Portuguese Governor and the garrison that defied the Arab and
kept “the Island of Blood” for Portugal, and where
now reside the Prison Governor and the convicts that include the
Arab, and keep the public gardens for the public.
Boldly entering the Club, Bertram left his card on the
Secretary and Members (otherwise stuck it on a green-baize board
devoted to that purpose), and commenced a tour of inspection of
the almost empty building. Evidently Society did not focus
itself until the cool of the evening, in Africa as in India, and
evidently this club very closely resembled a thousand others
across the Indian Ocean from Bombay to Hong Kong, where the
Briton congregates in exile. The only difference between
this and any “station” club in India appeared to be
in the facts that the servants were negroes and the trophies on
the walls were different and finer. Magnificent horns, such
as India does not produce, alternated with heads of lion and
other feral beasts. Later Bertram discovered another
difference in that the cheery and hospitable denizens of the
Mombasa Club were, on the whole, a thirstier race than those of
the average Indian club, and prone to expect and desire an equal
thirst in one their guest. He decided that it was merely a
matter of climate—a question of greater humidity.
Emerging from an airy and spacious upstairs bar-room on to a
vast verandah, his breath was taken away by the beauty of the
scene that met his eye, a scene whose charm lay chiefly in its
colouring, in the wonderful sapphire blue of the strip of sea
that lay between the low cliff, on which the club was built, and
the bold headland of the opposite shore of the mainland, the
vivid emerald green of the cocoa-palms that clothed that same
headland, the golden clouds, the snowy white-horses into which
the wind (which is always found in this spot and nowhere else in
Mombasa) whipped the wavelets of the tide-rip, the mauve-grey
distances of the Indian Ocean, with its wine-dark cloud-shadows,
the brown-grey of the hoary fort (built entirely of coral), the
rich red of tiled roofs, the vivid splashes of red, orange,
yellow and purple from flowering vine and tree and shrub—a
wonderful colour-scheme enhanced and intensified by the dazzling
brightness of the sun and the crystal clearness of the limpid,
humid air. . . . And in such surroundings Man had earned
the title of “The Island of Blood” for the beautiful
place—and, once again, as in those barbarous far-off days of Arab
and Portuguese, the shedding of blood was the burden of his song
and the high end and aim of his existence. . . . Bertram
sank into a long chair, put his feet up on the mahogany
leg-rests, and slaked the colour-thirst of his æsthetic
soul with quiet, joyous thankfulness. . . . Beautiful! . .
.
What would his father say when he knew that his son was at the
Front? . . .
What was Miranda doing? Nursing, probably. . . .
What would she say when she knew that he was at the Front?
. . . Dear old Miranda. . . .
Where had he heard the name, Stayne-Brooker,
before? Had he dreamed it in a nightmare as a
child—or had he heard it mentioned in hushed accents of
grief and horror by the “grown-ups” at Leighcombe
Priory? . . . Some newspaper case perhaps. . . . He
had certainly heard it before. . . . He closed his eyes. .
. .
A woman strolled by with a selection of magazines in her hand,
and took a chair that commanded a view of his. Presently
she noticed him. . . . A new-comer evidently, or she would
have seen him before. . . . What an exceedingly nice face
he had—refined, delicate. . . . Involuntarily she
contrasted it with the face of the evil and sensual satyr to whom
she was married. . . . She would like to talk to him. . .
.
Bertram opened his eyes, and Mrs. Stayne-Brooker became
absorbed in the pages of her magazine. . . .
What a beautiful face she had, and how sad and weary
she looked . . . drawn and worried and anxious. . . . Had
she perhaps a beloved husband in the fighting-line
somewhere? He would like to talk to her—she looked so
kind and so unhappy. . . . A girl, whose face he did not
see, came and called her away. . .
As Bertram lay drinking in the beauty of the scene, the Club
began to fill, and more particularly that part of it devoted to
the dispensation and consumption of assorted alcoholic
beverages. Almost everybody was in uniform, the majority in that of
the Indian Army (as there was a large base camp of the Indian
Expeditionary Force at Kilindini), and the remainder in those of
British regiments, the Navy, the Royal Indian Marine, the Royal
Engineers, the Royal Army Medical Corps, Artillery, local
Volunteer Corps, and the “Legion of
Frontiersmen.” A few ladies adorned the lawn and
verandahs. Two large and weather-beaten but
unascetic-looking men of middle age sat them down in chairs which
stood near to that of Bertram. They were clad in khaki
tunics, shorts and puttees, and bore the legend
“C.C.” in letters of brass on each
shoulder-strap.
“Hullo!” said the taller of them to Bertram, who
was wondering what “C.C.” might mean.
“Just come ashore from the Elymas? Have a
drink?”
“Yes,” replied he; “just landed. . . .
Thanks—may I have a lime-squash?”
“What the devil’s that?” asked the other,
and both men regarded him seriously and with a kind of shocked
interest. “Never heard of it.”
“Don’t think they keep it here,” put in the
shorter of the two men. “How d’you make
it?”
“Lemon-juice, soda-water, and sugar,” replied
Bertram, and felt that he was blushing in a childish and absurd
manner.
Both men shook their heads, more in sorrow than in
anger. They looked at each other, as might two physicians
at the bedside of one whose folly has brought him to a parlous
pass.
“Quite new to Africa?” enquired the taller.
“Yes. Quite,” confessed Bertram.
“Ah! Well, let me give you a word of advice
then,” continued the man. “Don’t touch
dangerous drinks. Avoid all harmful liquor as you would
poison. It is poison, in this climate. Drink is the
curse of Africa. It makes the place the White Man’s
Grave. You can’t be too careful. . . . Can you,
Piggy?” he added, turning to his friend.
“Quite right, Bill,” replied “Piggy,”
as he rang a little bell that stood on a neighbouring
table. “Let’s have a ‘Devil’s
Own’ cocktail and then some beer for a start, shall we? . .
. No—can’t be too careful. . . . Look at
me f’r example. Been in the country quarter of a
century, an’ never exceeded once! Never tasted
it, in fact.”
“What—alcohol?” enquired Bertram.
“No. . . . I was talking about harmful
liquor,” replied Piggy patiently. “Things
like—what did you call it? . . .
Chalk-squash?”
“Lime-squash,” admitted Bertram with another
glowing blush.
“Give it up, Sonny, give it up,” put in
Bill. “Turn over a new leaf and start afresh.
Make up your mind that, Heaven helping you, you’ll never
touch a drop of the accursed poison again, but forswear slops and
live cleanly; totally abstaining from—what is
it?—soda-crunch?—fruit-juice, ginger-beer, lemonade,
toast-water, barley-water, dirty-water, raspberryade, and all
such filthy decoctions and inventions. . . .”
“Yes—give the country a chance,” interrupted
Piggy. “Climate’s all right if you’ll
take reasonable care and live moderately,” and he
impatiently rang the little bell again.
“’Course, if you want to be ill and come to an
early and dishonourable grave, drink all the rot-gut you can lay
hands on—and break your mother’s heart. . .
.”
Piggy lay back in his chair and gazed pensively at the
ceiling. So did Bill. Bertram felt
uncomfortable. “Dear, dear, dear!” murmured
Bill, between a sigh and a grunt. “Chalk-powder and
lemonade! . . . what a nerve! . . . Patient, unrecognised,
unrewarded heroism. . . .”
“Merciful Heaven,” whispered Piggy,
“slaked-lime and ginger-beer! . . What rash, waste
courage and futile bravery. . . .” And suddenly leapt
to his feet, swung the bell like a railway porter announcing the
advent of a train, and roared “Boy!” until a
white-clad, white-capped Swahili servant came running.
“N’jo, Boy!” he shouted.
“Come here! . . . Lot of lazy, fat
n’gombe. [72a] . . . Three
‘Devil’s Own’ cocktails, late
hapa,” [72b] and as, with a humble
“Verna, Bwana,” the servant hurried to
the bar, grumbling.
“And now he’ll sit and have a shauri [72c] with his pals, while we die of thirst
in this accursed land of sin and sorrow. . . . Beastly
shenzis. [72d] . . .”
“You don’t like Africa?” said Bertram, for
the sake of something to say.
“Finest country on God’s earth. . . .
The only country,” was the prompt reply.
“I suppose the negro doesn’t make a very good
servant?” Bertram continued, as Piggy rumbled on in
denunciation.
“Finest servants in the world,” answered that
gentleman. “The only servants, in fact. . .
.”
“Should I take one with me on active service?”
asked Bertram, suddenly remembering Ali Suleiman, alias
Sloper.
“If you can get one,” was the reply.
“You’ll be lucky if you can. . . . All snapped
up by the officers of the Expeditionary Force, long
ago.”
“Yes,” agreed Bill. “Make all the
difference to your comfort if you can get one. Don’t
take any but a Swahili, though. . . . You can depend on
’em, in a tight place. The good ones, that is. . .
.”
A big, fat, clean-shaven man, dressed in white drill, strolled
up to the little group. He reminded Bertram of the
portraits of Mr. William Jennings Bryan who had recently visited
India, and in three days unhesitatingly given his verdict on the
situation, his solution of all political difficulties, and his
opinion of the effete Britisher—uttering the final
condemnation of that decadent.
“Hello! Hiram Silas P. Pocahantas of Pah,”
remarked Piggy, with delicate pleasantry, and the big man nodded,
smiled, and drew up a chair.
“The drinks are on me, boys,” quoth he.
“Set ’em up,” and bursting into song, more or
less tunefully, announced—
“I didn’t raise my boy to be a
soldier,”
whereat Bill hazarded the opinion that the day might
unexpectedly and ruddily dawn when he’d blooming well wish
he bally well had, and that he could join them in a
cocktail if he liked—or he could bung off if he
didn’t. Apparently William disapproved of the
American’s attitude, and that of his Government, toward the
War and the Allies’ part therein; for, on the
American’s “allowing he would consume a
highball” and the liquor arriving, he drank a health to
those who are not too proud to fight, to those who do not give
themselves airs as the Champions of Freedom, and then stand idly
by when Freedom is trampled in the dust, and to those whose
Almighty God is not the Almighty Dollar!
Expecting trouble, Bertram was surprised to find that
the American was apparently amused, merely murmured
“Shucks,” and, in the midst of a violent political
dissertation from Bill, ably supported by Piggy, went to sleep
with a long thin cigar in the corner of his long thin
mouth. He had heard it all before.
Bertram found his Devil’s Own cocktail an exceedingly
potent and unpleasant concoction. He decided that his first
meeting with this beverage of the Evil One should be his last,
and when Piggy, suddenly sitting up, remarked:
“What’s wrong with the drinks?” and tinkled the
bell, he arose, said a hurried farewell in some confusion, and
fled.
“’Tain’t right to send a half-baked lad like
that to fight the Colonial German,” observed Bill, idly
watching his retreating form.
“Nope,” agreed the American, waking up.
“I was going to say it’s adding insult to
injury—but you ain’t injured Fritz any, yet, I
guess,” and went to sleep again before either of the
glaring Englishmen could think of a retort.
Ere Bertram left the Club, he heard two pieces of
“inside” military information divulged quite openly,
and by the Staff itself. As he reached the porch, a lady of
fluffy appearance and kittenish demeanour was delaying a
red-tabbed captain who appeared to be endeavouring to escape.
“And, oh, Captain, do tell me what
‘A.S.C.’ and ‘C.C.’ mean,” said the
lady. “I saw a man with ‘A.S.C.’ on his
shoulders, and there are two officers with ‘C.C.,’ in
the Club. . . . Do you know what it means? I
am so interested in military matters. Or is it a
secret?”
“Oh, no!” replied the staff-officer, as he turned
to flee. “‘A.S.C.’ stands for Ally
Sloper’s Cavalry, of course, and ‘C.C.’ for
Coolie Catchers. . . . They are slave-traders, really, with
a Government contract for the supply of porters. They get
twenty rupees for each slave caught and delivered alive, and ten
for a dead one, or one who dies within a week.”
“What do they want the dead ones for?” she
whispered.
“That I dare not tell you,” replied the
officer darkly, and with a rapid salute, departed.
Emerging from the Club garden on to the white road, Bertram
gazed around for his trolley-boys and beheld them not.
“All right, ole chap,” boomed the voice of Ali,
who suddenly appeared beside him. “I looking after
Bwana. Master going back along shippy? I fetch
trolley now and see Bwana at Kilindini, thank you, please
sah, good God,” and he disappeared in the direction of the
town, returning a couple of minutes later with the trolley.
“Master not pay these dam’ thieves too much, ole
chap,” he remarked. “Two journey and one hour
wait, they ask five rupees. Master give
two-an’-a-puck.”
“How much is a ‘puck’?” enquired
Bertram, ever anxious to learn.
“Sah?” returned the puzzled Ali.
“What’s a puck?” repeated Bertram, and a
smile of bright intelligence engulfed the countenance of the big
Swahili.
“Oh, yessah!” he rumbled. “Give two
rupee and what Bwana call
‘puck-in-the-neck.’ All the same,
biff-on-the-napper, dig-in-the-ribs, smack-in-the-eye,
kick-up-the—”
“Oh, yes, I see,” interrupted Bertram,
smiling—but at the back of his amusement was the sad
realisation that he was not of the class of bwanas who can
gracefully, firmly and finally present two-and-a-puck to
extortionate and importunate trolley-boys.
He stepped on to the trolley and sat down, as Ali, saluting
and salaaming respectfully, again bade him be of good cheer and
high heart, as he would see him at Kilindini.
“How will you get there? Would you like to
ride?” asked the kind-hearted and considerate Bertram (far
too kind-hearted and considerate for the successful handling of
black or brown subordinates and inferiors).
“Oh, God, sah, no, please,” replied the smiling
Ali. “This Swahili slave cannot sit with
Bwana, and cannot run with damn low trolley-boys.
Can running by self though like gentleman, thank you,
please,” and as the trolley started, added: “So long,
ole chap. See Master at Kilindini by running like
hell. Ta-ta by damn!” When the trolley had
disappeared round a bend of the road, he generously kilted up his
flowing night-dress and started off at the long loping trot which
the African can maintain over incredible distances.
Arrived at Kilindini, Bertram paid the trolley-boys and
discovered that, while they absorbed rupees with the greatest
avidity, they looked askance at such fractions thereof as the
eight-anna, four-anna, and two-anna piece, poking them over in
their palms and finally tendering them back to him with many grunts
and shakes of the head as he said:
“Well, you’ll have to take them, you silly
asses,” to the uncomprehending coolies.
“That lot makes a rupee—one half-a-rupee and
two quarters, and that lot makes a rupee—four two-anna bits
and two four-annas, doesn’t it?”
But the men waxed clamorous, and one of them threw his money
on the ground with an impudent and offensive gesture.
Bertram coloured hotly, and his fist clenched. He
hesitated; ought he. . . . Smack! Thud!
and the man rolled in the dust as Ali Sloper, alias
Suleiman, sprang upon him, smote him again, and stood over him,
pouring forth a terrific torrent of violent vituperation.
As the victim of his swift assault obediently picked up the
rejected coins, he turned to Bertram.
“These dam’ niggers not knowing annas,
sah,” he said, “only cents. This not
like East Indiaman’s country. Hundred cents making
one rupee here. All shopkeepers saying, ‘No damn
good’ if master offering annas, please God, sah.”
“Well—I haven’t enough money with me,
then—” began Bertram.
“I pay trolley-boys, sah,” interrupted Ali
quickly, “and Master can paying me to-morrow—or on
pay-day at end of mensem.”
“But, look here,” expostulated Bertram, as this
new-found guide, philosopher and friend sent the apparently
satisfied coolies about their business. “I might not
see you to-morrow. You’d better come with me to the
ship and—”
“Oh, sah, sah!” cried the seemingly hurt and
offended Ali, “am I not Bwana’s faithful ole
servant?” and turning from the subject as closed, said he
would produce a boat to convey his cherished employer to his
ship.
“Master bucking up like hell now, please,” he
advised. “No boat allowed to move in harbour after
six pip emma, sah, thank God, please.”
“Who on earth’s Pip Emma?” enquired the
bewildered Bertram, as they hurried down the hill to the
quay.
“What British soldier-mans and officer-bwanas in
Signal Corps call ‘p.m.,’ sah,” was the
reply. “Master saying ‘six p.m.,’ but
Signal Bwana always saying ‘six pip
emma’—all same meaning but different language,
please God, sah. P’r’aps German talk,
sah? I do’n’ know, sah.”
And Bertram then remembered being puzzled by a remark of
Maxton (to the effect that he had endeavoured to go down to his
cabin at “three ack emma” and being full of
“beer,” had fallen “ack over tock” down
the companion), and saw light on the subject. Truly these
brigade signaller people talked in a weird tongue that might seem
a foreign language to an uninitiated listener.
At the pier he saw Commander Finnis, of the Royal Indian
Marine, and gratefully accepted an offer of a joy-ride in his
launch to the good ship Elymas, to which that officer was
proceeding.
“We’re disembarking you blokes to-morrow
morning,” said he to Bertram, as they seated themselves in
the stern of the smart little boat. “Indian troops
going under canvas here, and British entraining for
Nairobi. Two British officers of Indian Army to proceed by
tug at once to M’paga, a few hours down the coast, in
German East. Scrap going on there. Poor devils will
travel on deck, packed tight with fifty sheep and a gang of
nigger coolies. . . . Some whiff!” and he
chuckled callously.
“D’you know who are going?” asked Bertram
eagerly. Suppose he should be one of them—and in a
“scrap” by this time to-morrow! How would he
comport himself in his first fight?
“No,” yawned the Commander. “O.C.
troops on board will settle that.”
And Bertram held his peace, visualising himself as collecting
his kit, hurrying on to a dirty little tug to sit in the middle
of a flock of sheep while the boat puffed and panted through the
night along the mysterious African shore, landing on some white
coral beach beneath the palms at dawn, hurrying to join the
little force fighting with its back to the sea and its face to
the foe, leaping into a trench, seizing the rifle of a dying man
whose limp fingers unwillingly relaxed their grip, firing rapidly
but accurately into the—
“Up you go,” quoth Commander Finnis, and Bertram
arose and stepped on to the platform at the bottom of the ladder
that hospitably climbed the side of His Majesty’s
Troop-ship Elymas.
However nonchalant in demeanour, it was an eager and excited
crowd of officers that stood around the foot of the boat-deck
ladder awaiting the result of the conference held in the
Captain’s cabin, to which meeting-place its proprietor had
taken Commander Finnis before requesting the presence of Colonel
Haldon, the First Officer, and the Ship’s Adjutant, to
learn the decision and orders of the powers-that-be concerning
all and sundry, from the ship’s Captain to the
Sepoys’ cook.
Who would Colonel Haldon send forthwith to M’paga, where
the scrap was even then in progress (according to Lieutenant
Greene, quoting Commander Finnis)? What orders did the
papers in the fateful little dispatch-case, borne by the latter
gentleman, contain for the various officers not already
instructed to join their respective corps? Who would be
sent to healthy, cheery Nairobi? Who to the vile desert at
Voi? Who to interesting, far-distant Uganda? Who to
the ghastly mangrove-swamps down the coast by the border of
German East? Who to places where there was real active
service, fighting, wounds, distinction and honourable
death? Who to dreary holes where they would “sit
down” and sit tight, rotting with fever and dysentery,
eating out their hearts, without seeing a single German till the
end of the war. . . .
Bertram thought of a certain “lucky-dip bran-tub,”
that loomed large in memories of childhood, whence, at a
Christmas party, he had seen three or four predecessors draw most
attractive and delectable toys and he had drawn a mysterious and
much-tied parcel which had proved to contain a selection of
first-class coke. What was he about to draw from
Fate’s bran-tub to-day?
When the Ship’s Adjutant, bearing sheets of foolscap,
eventually emerged from the Captain’s cabin, ran sidling
down the boat-deck ladder and proceeded to the notice-board in
the saloon-companion, followed by the nonchalantly eager and
excited crowd, as is the frog-capturing duck by all the other
ducks of the farm-yard, Bertram, with beating heart, read down
the list until he came to his own name—only to discover
that Fate had hedged.
The die was not yet cast, and Second-Lieutenant B. Greene would
disembark with detachments, Indian troops, and, at Mombasa, await
further orders.
Captain Brandone and Lieutenant Stanner would proceed
immediately to M’paga, and with wild cries of
“Yoicks! Tally Ho!” and “Gone
away!” those two officers fled to their respective cabins
to collect their kit.
Dinner that night was a noisy meal, and talk turned largely
upon the merits or demerits of the places from Mombasa to Uganda
to which the speakers had been respectively posted.
“Where are you going, Brannigan?” asked Bertram of
that cheery Hibernian, as he seated himself beside him.
“Where am Oi goin’, is ut, me bhoy?” was the
reply. “Faith, where the loin-eating man—Oi
mane the man-eating loins reside, bedad. Ye’ve heard
o’ the man-eaters of Tsavo? That’s where
Oi’m goin’, me bucko—to the man-eaters of
Tsavo.”
Terence had evidently poured a libation of usquebagh before
dining, for he appeared wound up to talk.
“Begorra—if ut’s loin-eaters they are,
it’s Terry Brannigan’ll gird up his loins
an’ be found there missing entoirely. . . .
Oi’d misloike to be ’aten by a loin, Greene . .
.” and he frowned over the idea and grew momentarily
despondent.
“’Tis not phwat I wint for a sojer for, at all, at
all,” he complained, and added a lament to the effect that
he was not as tough as O’Toole’s pig. But the
mention of this animal appeared to have a cheering effect, for he
burst into song.
“Ye’ve heard of Larry
O’Toole,
O’ the beautiful town o’ Drumgool?
Faith, he had but wan eye
To ogle ye by,
But, begorra, that wan was a jool. . . .”
After dinner, Bertram sought out Colonel Haldon for further
orders, information and advice.
“Everybody clears off to-morrow morning, my boy,”
said he, “and in twenty-four hours we shall be scattered
over a country as big as Europe. You’ll be in
command, till further orders, of all native troops landed at
Mombasa. I don’t suppose you’ll be there long,
though. You may get orders to bung off with the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth draft of the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth, or you may
have to see them off under a Native Officer and go in the
opposite direction yourself. . . . Don’t worry,
anyway. You’ll be all right. . . .”
That night Bertram again slept but little, and had a bad
relapse into the old state of self-distrust, depression and
anxiety. This sense of inadequacy, inexperience and unworth
was overwhelming. What did he know about Sepoys that he
should, for a time, be in sole command and charge of a mixed
force of Regular troops and Imperial Service troops which
comprised Gurkhas, Sikhs, Pathans, Punjabi Mahommedans, Deccani
Marathas, Rajputs, and representatives of almost every other
fighting race in India? It would be bad enough if he could
thoroughly understand the language of any one of them. As
it was, he had a few words of cook-house Hindustani, and a man
whom he disliked and distrusted as his sole representative and
medium of intercourse with the men. Suppose the fellow was
rather his mis-representative? Suppose he fomented
trouble, as only a native can? What if there were a sudden
row and quarrel between some of the naturally inimical
races—a sort of inter-tribal shindy between the Sikhs and
the Pathans, for example? Who was wretched little
“Blameless Bertram,” to think he could impose his
authority upon such people and quell the riot with a word?
What if they defied him and the Jemadar did not support
him? What sort of powers and authority had he? . . .
He did not know. . . . Suppose there were a row, and
there was real fighting and bloodshed? It would get into
the papers, and his name would be held up to the contempt of the
whole British Empire. It would get into the American papers
too. Then an exaggerated account of it would be published
in the Press of the Central Powers and their wretched allies, to
show the rotten condition of the Indian Army. The neutral
papers would copy it. Soon there would not be a corner of
the civilised world where people had not heard the name of
Greene, the name of the wretched creature who could not maintain
order and discipline among a few native troops, but allowed some
petty quarrel between two soldiers to develop into an
“incident.” Yes—that’s what would
happen, a “regrettable incident.” . . . And the
weary old round of self-distrust, depreciation and contempt went
its sorry cycle once again. . . .
Going on deck in the morning, Bertram discovered that
supplementary orders had been published, and that all native
troops would be disembarked under his command at twelve noon,
and that he would report, upon landing, to the Military Landing
Officer, from whom he would receive further orders. . . .
Troops would carry no ammunition, nor cooked rations. All
kits would go ashore with the men. . . .
Bertram at once proceeded to the companion leading down to the
well-deck, called a Sepoy of the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth, and
“sent his salaams” to the Jemadar of that regiment,
to the Subedar of the Gurkhas, the Subedar of the Sherepur Sikhs
and the Jemadar of the Very Mixed Contingent.
To these officers he endeavoured to make it clear that every
man of their respective commands, and every article of those
men’s kit, bedding, and accoutrements, and all stores,
rations and ammunition, must be ready for disembarkation at
midday.
The little Gurkha Subedar smiled brightly, saluted, and said
he quite understood—which was rather clever of him, as his
Hindustani was almost as limited as was Bertram’s.
However, he had grasped, from Bertram’s barbarous and
laborious “Sub admi . . . sub saman . . .
sub chiz . . . tyar . . . bara badji . . .
ither se jainga . . .” that “all men . . . all
baggage . . . all things . . . at twelve o’clock . . . will
go from here”—and that was good enough for him.
“Any chance of fighting to-morrow, Sahib?” he
asked, but Bertram, unfortunately, did not understand him.
The tall, bearded Sikh Subedar saluted correctly, said nothing
but “Bahut achcha, Sahib,” [81] and stood with a cold sneer frozen upon
his hard and haughty countenance.
The burly Jemadar of the Very Mixed Contingent, or Mixed
Pickles, smiled cheerily, laughed merrily at nothing in
particular, and appeared mildly shocked at Bertram’s
enquiry as to whether he understood. Of course, he
understood! Was not the Sahib a most fluent speaker of most
faultless Urdu, or Hindi, or Sindhi, or Tamil or something?
Anyhow, he had clearly caught the words “all men ready at
twelve o’clock”—and who could require more than
a nice clear hookum like that.
Jemadar Hassan Ali looked pained and doubtful. So far as
his considerable histrionic powers permitted, he gave his
rendering of an honest and intelligent man befogged by perfectly
incomprehensible orders and contradictory directions which he may not
question and on which he may not beg further enlightenment.
His air and look of “Faithful to the last I will go
forth and strive to obey orders which I cannot understand,
and to carry out instructions given so incomprehensibly and in
so strange a tongue that Allah alone knows what is required of
me” annoyed Bertram exceedingly, and having smiled upon
the cheery little Subedar and the cheery big Jemadar, and looked
coldly upon the unpleasant Sikh and the difficult Hassan Ali, he
informed the quartette that it had his permission to depart.
As they saluted and turned to go, he caught a gleam of
ferocious hatred upon the face of the Gurkha officer whom the
Sikh jostled, with every appearance of intentional rudeness and
the desire to insult. Bertram’s sympathy was with the
Gurkha and he wished that it was with him and his sturdy little
followers that he was to proceed to the front. He felt that
they would follow him to the last inch of the way and the last
drop of their blood, and would fight for sheer love of fighting,
as soon as they were shown an enemy.
After a somewhat depressing breakfast, at which he found
himself almost alone, Bertram arrayed himself in full war paint,
packed his kit, said farewell to the ship’s officers and
then inspected the troops, drawn up ready for disembarkation on
the well-decks. He was struck by the apparent cheerfulness
of the Gurkhas and the clumsy heaviness of their kit which
included a great horse-collar roll of cape, overcoat or
ground-sheet strapped like a colossal cross-belt across one
shoulder and under the other arm; by the apparent depression of
the men of the Very Mixed Contingent and their slovenliness; by
what seemed to him the critical and unfriendly stare of the
Sherepur Sikhs as he passed along their ranks; and by the
elderliness of the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth draft. Had
these latter been perceptibly aged by their sea-faring
experiences and were they feeling terribly terra marique
jactati, or was it that the impossibility of procuring henna
or other dye had caused the lapse of brown, orange, pink and red
beards and moustaches to their natural greyness? Anyhow,
they looked distinctly old, and on the whole, fitter for the ease
and light duty of “employed pensioner” than for
active service under very difficult conditions against a
ferocious foe upon his native heath. His gentle nature and
kindly heart led Bertram to feel very sorry indeed for one
bemedalled old gentleman who had evidently had a very bad crossing,
still had a very bad cough, and looked likely to have another go
of fever before very long.
As he watched the piling-up of square-sided boxes of rations,
oblong boxes of ammunition, sacks, tins, bags and jars, bundles
of kit and bedding, cooking paraphernalia, entrenching tools,
mule harness, huge zinc vessels for the transport of water,
leather chhagals and canvas pakhals or waterbags,
and wished that his own tight-strapped impedimenta were less
uncomfortable and heavy, a cloud of choking smoke from the top of
the funnel of some boat just below him, apprised him of the fact
that his transport was ready. Looking over the side he saw
a large barge, long, broad, and very deep, with upper decks at
stem and stern, which a fussy little tug had just brought into
position below an open door in the middle of the port side of the
Elymas. It was a long way below it too, and he
realised that unless a ladder were provided every man would have
to drop from the threshold of the door to the very narrow edge of
the barge about six feet below, make his way along it to the
stern deck, and down a plank on to the “floor” of the
barge itself. When his turn came he’d make an ass of
himself—he’d fall—he knew he would!
He tried to make Jemadar Hassan Ali understand that two
Havildars were to stand on the edge of the barge, one each side
of the doorway and guide the errant tentative feet of each man as
he lowered himself and clung to the bottom of the doorway.
He also had the sacks thrown where anyone who missed his footing
and fell from the side of the barge to the bottom would fall upon
them and roll, instead of taking the eight feet drop and hurting
himself. When this did happen, the Sepoys roared with
laughter and appeared to be immensely diverted. It occurred
several times, for it is no easy matter to lower oneself some six
feet, from one edge to another, when heavily accoutred and
carrying a rifle. When every man and package was on board,
Bertram cast one last look around the Elymas, took a deep
breath, crawled painfully out backwards through the port, clung
to the sharp iron edge, felt about wildly with his feet which
were apparently too sacred and superior for the Havildars to grab
and guide, felt his clutching fingers weaken and slip, and then
with a pang of miserable despair fell—and landed on the
side of the barge a whole inch below where his feet had been when
he fell. A minute later he had made his way to the prow, and,
with a regal gesture, had signified to the captain of the tug
that he might carry on.
And then he sat him down upon the little piece of deck and
gazed upon the sea of upturned faces, black, brown,
wheat-coloured, and yellow, that spread out at his feet from end
to end and side to side of the great barge.
Of what were they thinking, these men from every corner of
India and Nepal, as they stood shoulder to shoulder, or squatted
on the boxes and bales that covered half the floor of the
barge? What did they think of him? Did they really
despise and dislike him as he feared, or did they admire and like
and trust him—simply because he was a white man and a
Sahib? He had a suspicion that the Sikhs disliked him, the
Mixed Contingent took him on trust as an Englishman, the Hundred
and Ninety-Ninth kept an open mind, and the Gurkhas liked
him—all reflecting really the attitude of their respective
Native Officers. . . .
In a few minutes the barge was run alongside the Kilindini
quay, and Bertram was, for the second time, climbing its stone
stairs, in search of the Military Landing Officer, the arbiter of
his immediate destiny.
As he reached the top of the steps he was, as it were,
engulfed and embraced in a smile that he already knew—and
he realised that it was with a distinct sense of pleasure and a
feeling of lessened loneliness and unshared friendless
responsibility that he beheld the beaming face of his
“since-long-time-to-come” faithful old retainer Ali
Suleiman.
“God bless myself please, thank you,
Bwana,” quoth that gentleman, saluting
repeatedly. “Bwana will now wanting Military
Embarkation Officer by golly. I got him, sah,” and
turning about added, “Bwana come along me, sah, I
got him all right,” as though he had, with much skill and
good luck, tracked down, ensnared, and encaged some wary and wily
animal. . . .
At the end of the little stone pier was a rough table or desk,
by which stood a burly officer clad in slacks, and a vast
spine-pad of quilted khaki. On the tables were
writing-materials and a mass of papers.
“Mornin’,” remarked this gentleman, turning
a crimson and perspiring face to Bertram. “I’m
the M.L.O. You’ll fall your men in here
and they’ll stack their kits with the rations and
ammunition over there. Then you must tell off
working-parties to cart the lot up to the camp. I’ve
only got two trucks and your fatigue-parties’ll have to
man-handle ’em. You’ll have to ginger ’em
up or you’ll be here all day. I don’t want you
to march off till all your stuff’s up to the camp. . .
. Don’t bung off yourself, y’know. . . .
Right O. Carry on. . . .” Bertram saluted.
Another job which he must accomplish without hitch or
error. The more jobs he could do, the better.
What he dreaded was the job for the successful tackling of which
he had not the knowledge, ability or experience.
“Very good, sir,” he replied.
“Er—where are the trolleys?” for there
was no sign of any vehicle about the quay.
“Oh, they’ll roll up by and by, I expect,”
was the reply. Bertram again saluted and returned to the
barge. Calling to the Native Officers he told them that the
men would fall in on the bunder and await further orders, each
detachment furnishing a fatigue-party for the unloading of the
impedimenta. Before very long, the men were standing at
ease in the shade of a great shed, and their kits, rations and
ammunition were piled in a great mound at the wharf edge.
And thus, having nothing to do until the promised trucks
arrived, Bertram realised that it was terribly hot;
suffocatingly, oppressively, dangerously hot; and that he felt
very giddy, shaky and faint.
The sun seemed to beat upward from the stone of the quay and
sideways from the iron of the sheds as fiercely and painfully as
it did downward from the sky. And there was absolutely
nowhere to sit down. He couldn’t very well squat down
in the dirt. . . . No—but the men could—so he
approached the little knot of Native Officers and told them to
allow the men to pile arms, fall out, and sit against the wall of
the shed—no man to leave the line without permission.
Jemadar Hassan Ali did not forget to post a sentry over the
arms on this occasion. For an hour Bertram strolled up and
down. It was less tiring to do that than to stand
still. His eyes ached most painfully by reason of the
blinding glare, his head ached from the pressure on his brows of
his thin, but hard and heavy, helmet (the regulation pattern,
apparently designed with an eye to the maximum of danger and
discomfort) and his body ached by reason of the weight and
tightness of his accoutrements. It was nearly two
o’clock and he had breakfasted early. Suppose he got
sunstroke, or collapsed from heat, hunger, and weariness?
What an exhibition! When would the men get their next
meal? Where were those trolleys? It was two hours
since the Military Landing Officer had said they’d
“roll up by and by.” He’d go and remind
him.
The Military Landing Officer was just off to his lunch and
well-earned rest at the Club. He had been on the beastly
bunder since six in the morning—and anybody who wanted him
now could come and find him, what?
“Excuse me, sir,” said Bertram as Captain Angus
flung his portfolio of papers to his orderly, “those trucks
haven’t come yet.”
“Wha’ trucks?” snapped the Landing
Officer. He had just told himself he had done for
to-day—and he had had nothing since half-past five that
morning. People must be reasonable—he’d been
hard at it for eight solid hours damitall y’know.
“The trucks for my baggage and ammunition and
stuff.”
“Well, I haven’t got ’em, have
I?” replied Captain Angus. “Be reasonable about
it. . . I can’t make trucks. . .
Anybody’d think I’d stolen your trucks. . . .
You must be patient, y’know, and do be
reasonable. . . . I haven’t got
’em. Search me.”
The Military Landing Officer had been on his job for months
and had unconsciously evolved two formulæ, which he used
for his seniors and juniors respectively, without variation of a
word. Bertram had just heard the form of prayer to be used
with Captains and unfortunates of lower rank, who showed
yearnings for things unavoidable. To Majors and those
senior thereunto the crystallised ritual was:
“Can’t understand it, sir, at all. I issued
the necessary orders all right—but there’s a terrible
shortage. One must make allowances in these times of
stress. It’ll turn up all right.
I’ll see to it . . .” etc., and this applied
equally well to missing trains, mules, regiments, horses, trucks,
orders, motor-cars or anything else belonging to the large class
of Things That Can Go Astray.
“You told me to wait, sir,” said Bertram.
“Then why the devil don’t you?” said
Captain Angus.
“I am, sir,” replied Bertram.
“Then what’s all this infernal row
about?” replied Captain Angus.
Bertram felt that he understood exactly how children feel
when, unjustly treated, they cannot refrain from tears. It
was too bad. He had stood in this smiting sun for
over two hours awaiting the promised trucks—and now he was
accused of making an infernal row because he had mentioned that
they had not turned up! If the man had told him where they
were, surely he and his three hundred men could have gone and got
them long ago.
“By the way,” continued Captain Angus,
“I’d better give you your route—for when you
do get away—and you mustn’t sit here all day
like this, y’know. You must ginger ’em up a
bit” (more formula this) “or you’ll all take
root. Well, look here, you go up the hill and keep straight
on to where a railway-bridge crosses the road. Turn to the
left before you go under the bridge, and keep along the railway
line till you see some tents on the left again. Strike
inland towards these, and you’ll find your way all
right. Take what empty tents you want, but don’t
spread yourself too much—though there’s only
some details there now. You’ll be in command of that
camp for the present. . . . Better not bung off to the Club
either—you may be wanted in a hurry. . . . I’ll
see if those trucks are on the way as I go up. Don’t
hop off till you’ve shifted all your stuff. . . So
long! . . .” and the Military Landing Officer bustled off
to where at the Dock gates a motor-car awaited him. . . .
Before long, Bertram found that he must either sit down or
fall down, so terrific was the stifling heat, so heavy had his
accoutrements become, and so faint, empty and giddy did he
feel.
Through the open door of a corrugated-iron shed he could see a
huge, burly, red-faced European, sitting at a little rough table
in a big bare room. In this barn-like place was nothing
else but a telephone-box and a chair. Could he go in and
sit on it? That dark and shady interior looked like a
glimpse of heaven from this hell of crashing glare and gasping
heat. . . . Perhaps confidential military communications
were made through that telephone though, and the big man, arrayed
in a singlet and white trousers, was there for the very purpose
of receiving them secretly and of preventing the intrusion of any
stranger? Anyhow—it would be a minute’s blessed
escape from the blinding inferno, merely to go inside and ask the
man if he could sit down while he awaited the trucks.
He could place the chair in a position from which he could see
his men. . . . He entered the hut, and the large man raised
a clean-shaven crimson face, ornamented with a pair of piercing
blue eyes, and stared hard at him as he folded a pinkish
newspaper and said nothing at all, rather disconcertingly.
“May I come in and sit down for a bit, please?”
said Bertram. “I think I’ve got a touch of the
sun.”
“Put your wacant faice in that wacant chair,” was
the prompt reply.
“Thanks—may I put it where I can see my
men?” said Bertram.
“Putt it where you can cock yer feet on this ’ere
table an’ lean back agin that pertition, more sense,”
replied the large red man, scratching his large red head.
“You don’ want to see yore men, you
don’t,” he added. “They’re a
’orrid sight. . . . All natives is. . . . You
putt it where you kin get a good voo o’ me. . .
. Shed a few paounds o’ the hup’olstery and
maike yerself atome. . . . Wisht I got somethink to orfer
yer—but I ain’t. . . . Can’t be
’osspitable on a basin o’ water wot’s bin
washed in—can yer?”
Bertram admitted the difficulty, and, with a sigh of intense
relief, removed his belt and cross-belts and all that unto them
pertained. And, as he sank into the chair with a grateful
heart, entered Ali Suleiman, whom he had not seen for an hour,
bearing in one huge paw a great mug of steaming tea, and in the
other a thick plate of thicker biscuits.
Bertram could have wrung the hand that fed him. Never
before in the history of tea had a cup of tea been so
welcome.
“Heaven reward you as I never can,” quoth Bertram,
as he drank. “Where on earth did you raise
it?”
“Oh, sah!” beamed Ali. “Master not
mentioning it. I am knowing cook-fellow at R.E.
Sergeants’ Mess, and saying my frien’ Sergeant Jones,
R.E., wanting cup of tea and biscuits at bunder P.D.Q.”
“P.D.Q.?” enquired Bertram.
“Yessah, all ’e same ‘pretty dam
quick’—and bringing it to Bwana by
mistake,” replied Ali, the son of Suleiman.
“But isn’t there some mistake?” asked
the puzzled youth. “I don’t want to .
. .”
“Lookere,” interrupted the large red man,
“you don’ wanter discover no mistakes, not
until you drunk that tea, you don’t. . . .
You push that daown yore neck and then give that nigger a cent
an’ tell ’im to be less careful nex’
time. You don’ wanter discourage a good lad
like that, you don’t. Not ’arf, you
do.”
“But—Sergeant Jones’s tea” began
Bertram, looking unhappily at the half-emptied cup.
“Sergeant Jones’s tea!” mimicked the
rude red man, in a high falsetto. “If ole
Shifter Jones drunk a cup o’ tea it’d be in all the
paipers nex’ mornin’, it would. Not arf it
wouldn’t. Don’ believe ’e ever tasted
tea, I don’t, an’ if he did—”
But at this moment a white-clad naval officer of exalted rank
strode into the room, and the large red man sprang to his feet
with every sign of respect and regard. Picking up a Navy
straw hat from the floor, the latter gentleman stood at attention
with it in his hand. Bertram decided that he was a naval
petty officer on some shore-job or other, perhaps retired and now
a coast-guard or Customs official of some kind. Evidently
he knew the exalted naval officer and held him, or his Office, in
high regard.
“Get my message, William Hankey?” he snapped.
“Yessir,” replied William Hankey.
“Did you telephone for the car at once?”
“Nossir,” admitted Hankey, with a fluttering
glance of piteous appeal.
The naval officer’s face became a ferocious and menacing
mask of wrath and hate, lit up by a terrible glare. Up to
that moment he had been rather curiously like Hankey. Now
he was even more like a very infuriated lion. He took a
step nearer the table, fixed his burning, baleful eye upon the
wilting William, and withered him with the most extraordinary
blast of scorching invective that Bertram had ever heard, or was
ever likely to hear, unless he met Captain Sir Thaddeus
Bellingham ffinch Beffroye again.
“You blundering bullock,” quoth he; “you
whimpering weasel; you bleating blup; you miserable dog-potter;
you horny-eyed, bleary-nosed, bat-eared, lop-sided, longshore
loafer; you perishing shrimp-peddler; you Young Helper; you
Mother’s Little Pet; you dear Ministering Child; you
blistering bug-house body-snatcher; you bloated bumboat-woman;
you hopping hermaphrodite—what d’ye mean by it?
Eh? . . . What d’ye mean by it, you
anæmic Aggie; you ape-faced anthropoid; you adenoid; you
blood-stained buzzard; you abject abortion; you abstainer;
you sickly, one-lunged, half-baked, under-fed alligator; you
scrofulous scorbutic; you peripatetic pimple; you perambulating
pimp-faced poodle; what about it? Eh? What about
it?”
Mr. William Hankey stood silent and motionless, but in his
face was the expression of one who, with critical approval,
listens and enjoys. Such a look may be seen upon the face
of a musician the while he listens to the performance of a
greater musician.
Having taken breath, the Captain continued: “What have
you got to say for yourself, you frig-faced farthing freak,
you? Nothing! You purple poultice-puncher; you
hopeless, helpless, herring-gutted hound; you dropsical
drink-water; you drunken, drivelling dope-dodger; you mouldy,
mossy-toothed, mealy-mouthed maggot; you squinny-faced,
squittering, squint-eyed squab, you—what have you got to
say for yourself? Eh? . . . Answer me, you
mole; you mump; you measle; you knob; you nit; you noun; you
part; you piece; you portion; you bald-headed, slab-sided,
jelly-bellied jumble; you mistake; you accident; you imperial
stinker; you poor, pale pudding; you populous, pork-faced
parrot—why don’t you speak, you doddering,
dumb-eared, deaf-mouthed dust-hole; you jabbering, jawing,
jumping Jezebel, why don’t you answer me? Eh?
D’ye hear me, you fighting gold-fish; you whistling
water-rat; you Leaning Tower of Pisa-pudding; you beer-belching
ration-robber; you pink-eyed, perishing pension-cheater; you
flat-footed, frog-faced fragment; you trumpeting
tripe-hound? Hold your tongue and listen to me, you
barge-bottom barnacle; you nestling gin-lapper; you
barmaid-biting bun-bolter; you tuberculous tub; you mouldy
manure-merchant; you moulting mop-chewer; you kagging, corybantic
cockroach; you lollipop-looting lighterman; you naval
know-all. Why didn’t you telephone for the
car?”
“’Cos it were ’ere all the time, sir,”
replied Mr. William Hankey, perceiving that his superior officer
had run down and required rest.
“That’s all right, then,” replied
Captain Sir Thaddeus Bellingham ffinch Beffroye pleasantly, and
strode to the door. There he turned, and again addressed
Mr. Hankey.
“Why couldn’t you say so, instead of chattering
and jabbering and mouthing and mopping and mowing and yapping and
yiyiking for an hour, Mr. Woozy, Woolly-witted, Wandering William
Hankey?” he enquired.
The
large red man looked penitent.
“Hankey,” the officer added, “you are a
land-lubber. You are a pier-head yachtsman. You are a
beach pleasure-boat pilot. You are a canal
bargee.”
Mr. Hankey looked hurt, touché, broken.
“Oh, sir!” said he, stricken at last.
“William Hankey, you are a volunteer,”
continued his remorseless judge.
Mr. Hankey fell heavily into his chair, and fetched a deep
groan.
“William Hankey-Pankey—you are a conscientious
objector,” said the Captain in a quiet, cold and cruel
voice.
A little gasping cry escaped Mr. Hankey. He closed his
eyes, swayed a moment, and then dropped fainting on the table,
the which his large red head smote with a dull and heavy thud, as
the heartless officer strode away.
A moment later Mr. Hankey revived, winked at the astonished
Bertram, and remarked:
“I’d swim in blood fer ’im, I would, any
day. I’d swim in beer wi’ me mouf shut, if
’e ast me, I would. . . . ’E’s the
pleasant-manneredest, kindest, nicest bloke I was ever shipmates
wiv, ’e is. . .”
“His bark is worse than his bite, I suppose?”
hazarded Bertram.
“Bark!” replied Mr. Hankey. “’E
wouldn’ bark at a blind beggar’s deaf dog, ’e
wouldn’t. . . . The ship’s a ’Appy Ship
wot’s got ’im fer Ole Man. . . .
Why—the matlows do’s liddle things jest to git
brought up before ’im to listen to ’is voice. . .
. Yes. . . . Their Master’s Voice. . . .
Wouldn’ part brass-rags wiv ’im for a nogs’ead
o’ rum. . . .”
Feeling a different man for the tea and biscuits, Bertram
thanked Mr. Hankey for his hospitality, and stepped out on to the
quay, thinking, as the heat-blast struck him, that one would
experience very similar sensations by putting his head into an
oven and then stepping on to the stove. In the shade of the
sheds the Sepoys sprawled, even the cheery Gurkhas seemed unhappy
and uncomfortable in that fiery furnace.
Bertram’s heart smote him. Had it been the act of
a good officer to go and sit down in that shed, to drink tea and
eat biscuits, while his men . . . ? Yes, surely that was
all right. He was far less acclimatised to heat and glare than they,
and it would be no service to them for him to get heat-stroke and
apoplexy or “a touch of the sun.” They had
their water-bottles and their grain-and-sugar ration and their
cold chupattis. They were under conditions far more
closely approximating to normal than he was. Of course it
is boring to spend hours in the same place with full equipment
on, but, after all, it was much worse for a European, whose
thoughts run on a cool club luncheon-room; a bath and change; and
a long chair, a cold drink and a novel, under a punkah on the
club verandah thereafter. . . . Would those infernal trucks
never come? Suppose they never did? Was he to
stay there all night? He had certainly received definite
orders from the “competent military authority” to
stay there until all his baggage had been sent off. Was
that to relieve the competent military authority of
responsibility in the event of any of it being stolen? . .
. Probably the competent military authority was now having
his tea, miles away at the Club. What should he do if no
trucks had materialised by nightfall? How about consulting
the Native Officers? . . . Perish the thought! . . .
They’d have to stick it, the same as he would. The
orders were quite clear, and all he had got to do was to sit
tight and await trucks—if he grew grey in the process.
Some six hours from the time at which he had landed, a couple
of small four-wheeled trucks were pushed on to the wharf by a
fatigue-party of Sepoys from the camp; the Naik in charge of them
saluted and fled, lest he and his men be impounded for further
service; and Bertram instructed the Gurkha Subedar to get a
fatigue-party of men to work at loading the two trucks to their
utmost capacity, with baggage, kit, and ration-boxes. It
was evident that the arrival of the trucks did not mean the early
departure of the force, for several journeys would he necessary
for the complete evacuation of the mound of material to be
shifted. Having loaded the trucks, the fatigue-party pushed
off, and it was only as the two unwieldy erections of baggage
were being propelled through the gates by the willing little men,
that it occurred to Bertram to enquire whether they had any idea
as to where they were going.
Not the slightest, and they grinned cheerily. Another
problem! Should he now abandon the force and lead the
fatigue-party in the light of the Military Landing
Officer’s description of the route, or should he endeavour to
give the Gurkha Subedar an idea of the way, and send him off with
the trucks? And suppose he lost his way and barged ahead
straight across the Island of Mombasa? That would mean that
the rest of them would have to sit on the wharf all
night—if he obeyed the Military Landing Officer’s
orders. . . . Which he must do, of course. . .
. Bertram was of a mild, inoffensive and quite unvindictive
nature, but he found himself wishing that the Military Landing
Officer’s dinner might thoroughly disagree with him. . .
. His own did not appear likely to get the opportunity. . .
. He then and there determined that he would never again be
caught, while on Active Service, without food of some kind on his
person, if he could help it—chocolate, biscuits, something
in a tablet or a tin. . . . Should he go and leave the
Native Officer in command, or should he send forth the two
precious trucks into the gathering gloom and hope that,
dove-like, they would return? . . .
And again the voice of Ali fell like balm of Gilead, as it
boomed, welcome, opportune and cheering.
“Sah, I will show the Chinamans the way to camp and
bring them back P.D.Q.,” quoth he.
“Oh! Good man!” said Bertram.
“Right O! But they’re not Chinamen—they
are Gurkha soldiers. . . . Don’t you hit one, or
chivvy them about. . . .”
“Sah, I am knowing all things,” was the modest
reply, and the black giant strode off, followed by the empiled
wobbling waggons.
More weary waiting, but, as the day waned, the decrease of
heat and sultriness failed to keep pace with the increasing
hunger, faintness and sickness which made at least one of the
prisoners of the quay wish that either he or the Emperor of
Germany had never been born. . . .
Journey after journey having been made, each by a fresh party
of Gurkhas (for Bertram, as is customary, used the willing horse,
when he saw that the little hill-men apparently liked work for
its own sake, as much as the other Sepoys disliked work for any
sake), the moment at last arrived when the ammunition-boxes could
be loaded on to the trucks and the whole force could be marched
off as escort thereunto, leaving nothing behind them upon the
accursed stones of that oven, which had been their gaol for ten
weary hours.
Never
was the order, “Fall in!” obeyed with more alacrity,
and it was with a swinging stride that the troops marched out
through the gates in the rear of their British officer, who
strode along with high-held head and soldierly bearing, as he
thanked God there was a good moon in the heavens, and prayed that
there might soon be a good meal in his stomach.
Up the little hill and past the trolley “terminus”
the party tramped, and the hot, heavy night seemed comparatively
cool after the terrible day on the shut-in, stone and iron
heat-trap of the quay. . . . As he glanced at the
diamond-studded velvet of the African sky, Bertram thought how
long ago seemed that morning when he had made his first march at
the head of his company. It seemed to have taken place, not
only in another continent, but in another age. Already he
seemed an older, wiser, more resourceful man. . . .
“Bwana turning feet to left hands here,”
said Ali Suleiman from where, abreast of Bertram, he strode along
at the edge of the road. “If Bwana will
following me in front, I am leading him behind”—with
which clear and comprehensible offer, he struck off to the left,
his long, clean night-shirt looming ahead in the darkness as a
pillar of cloud by night. . . .
Again Bertram blessed him, and thanked the lucky stars that
had brought him across his path. He had seen no
railway-bridge nor railway-line; he could see no tents, and he
was exceedingly thankful that it was not his duty to find, by
night, the way which had seemed somewhat vaguely and
insufficiently indicated for one who sought to follow it by
day. Half an hour later he saw a huge black mass which,
upon closer experience, proved to be a great palm grove, in the
shadow of which stood a number of tents.
* * * * *
In a remarkably short space of time, the Sepoys had occupied
four rows of the empty tents, lighted hurricane lamps, unpacked
bedding and kit bundles, removed turbans, belts and
accoutrements, and, set about the business of cooking,
distributing, and devouring their rations.
The grove of palms that had looked so very inviolable and
sacredly remote as it stood untenanted and silent in the
brilliant moonlight, now looked and smelt (thanks to wood fires
and burning ghee) like an Indian bazaar, as Sikhs, Gurkhas,
Rajputs, Punjabis, Marathas, Pathans and
“down-country” Carnatics swarmed in and out of tents,
around cooking-fires, at the taps of the big railway water-tank,
or the kit-and-ration dump—the men of each different race
yet keeping themselves separate from those of other races. . .
.
As the unutterably weary Bertram stood and watched and
wondered as to what military and disciplinary conundrums his
motley force would provide for him on the morrow, his ancient and
faithful family retainer came and asked him for his keys.
That worthy had already, in the name of his Bwana,
demanded the instant provision of a fatigue-party, and directed
the removal of a tent from the lines to a spot where there would
be more privacy and shade for its occupant, and had then
unstrapped the bundles containing his master’s bed, bedding
and washhand-stand, and now desired further to furnish forth the
tent with the suitable contents of the sack. . . .
And so Bertram “settled in,” as did his little
force, save that he went to bed supperless and they did
not. Far from it—for a goat actually strayed bleating
into the line and met with an accident—getting its silly
neck in the way of a kukri just as its owner was, so he
said, fanning himself with it (with the kukri, not the
goat). So some fed full, and others fuller.
Next day, Bertram ate what Ali, far-foraging, brought him; and
rested beneath the shade of the palms and let his men rest also,
to recover from their sea-voyage and generally to find
themselves. . . . For one whole day he would do nothing and
order nothing to be done; receive no reports, issue no
instructions, harry nobody and be harried by none. Then, on
the morrow, he would arise, go on the warpath in the camp, and
grapple bravely with every problem that might arise, from
shortage of turmeric to excess of covert criticism of his
knowledge and ability.
But the morrow never came in that camp, for the Base
Commandant sent for him in urgent haste at eventide, and bade him
strain every nerve to get his men and their baggage, lock, stock
and barrel, on board the Barjordan, just as quickly as it
could be done (and a dam’ sight quicker), for
reinforcements were urgently needed at M’paga, down the
coast.
Followed a sleepless nightmare night, throughout which he
worked by moonlight in the camp, on the quay, and on the
Barjordan’s deck, reversing the labours of the
previous day, and re-embarking his men, their kit, ammunition, rations and
impedimenta—and in addition, two barge-loads of
commissariat and ordnance requisites for the M’paga
Brigade.
At dawn the last man, box, and bale was on board and Bertram
endeavoured to speak a word of praise, in halting Hindustani, to
the Gurkha Subedar, who, with his men, had shown an alacrity and
gluttony for work, beyond all praise. All the other Sepoys
had worked properly in their different shifts—but the
Gurkhas had revelled in work, and when their second shift came at
midnight, the first shift remained and worked with them!
Having gratefully accepted coffee from Mr. Wigger, the First
Officer, Bertram, feeling “beat to the world,” went
down to his cabin, turned in, and slept till evening. When
he awoke, a gazelle was gazing affectionately into his face.
He shut his eyes and shivered. . . . Was this sunstroke,
fever, or madness? He felt horribly frightened, his nerves
being in the state natural to a person of his temperament and
constitution when overworked, underfed, affected by the sun,
touched by fever, and overwrought to the breaking-point by
anxiety and worry.
He opened his eyes again, determined to be cool, wise and
brave, in face of this threatened breakdown, this hallucination
of insanity.
The gazelle was still there—there in a carpeted,
comfortable cabin, on board a ship, in the Indian Ocean. . .
.
He rubbed his eyes.
Then he put out his hand to pass it through the spectral Thing
and confirm his worst fears.
The gazelle licked his hand, and he sat up and said:
“Oh, damn!” and laughed weakly.
The animal left the cabin, and he heard its hoofs pattering on
the linoleum.
Later he found it to be a pet of the captain of the
Barjordan, Captain O’Connor.
Next morning the ship anchored a mile or so from a mangrove
swamp, and the business of disembarkation began again, this time
into the ship’s boats and some sailing dhows that had met
the Barjordan at this spot.
When all the Sepoys and stores were in the boats and dhows, he
put on the puggri which Bludyer had given him, with the assistance of
Ali Suleiman and the Gurkha Subedar, looked at himself in the
glass, and wished he felt as fine and fierce a fellow as he
looked. . . . He then said “Farewell” to kindly
Captain O’Connor and burly, energetic Mr. Wigger—both
of whom he liked exceedingly—received their hearty good
wishes and exhortations to slay and spare not, and went down on
the motor-launch that was to tow the laden boats to the low
gloomy shore—if a mangrove swamp can be called a shore. . .
.
One more “beginning”—or one more stage on
the road to War! Here was he, Bertram Greene, armed
to the teeth, with a turban on his head, about to be
landed—and left—on the shores of the mainland of this
truly Dark Continent. He was about to invade Africa! . .
.
If only his father and Miranda could see him now!
Bertram waded ashore and looked around.
Through a rank jungle of high grass, scrub, palms, trees and
creepers, a narrow mud path wound past the charred remnants of a
native village to where stood the shell-scarred ruins of a
whitewashed adobe building which had probably been a
Customs-post, treasury, post-office and Government Offices in
general. . . . He was on the mainland of the African
Continent, and he was on enemy territory in the war area!
How far away was the nearest German force? What should he
do if he were attacked while disembarking? How was he to
find the main body of his own brigade? What should he do if
there were an enemy force between him and them? And what
was the good of asking himself conundrums, instead of
concentrating every faculty upon a speedy and orderly
disembarkation?
Turning his back upon the unutterably dreary and depressing
scene, as well as upon all doubts and fears and questions, he
gave orders that the Gurkhas should land first. His only
object in this was to have what he considered the best fighting
men ashore first, and to form them up as a covering force, ready
for action, in the event of any attack being made while the main
body was still in the confusion, muddle and disadvantage of the act of
disembarkation. And no bad idea either—but the
Subedar of the Sherepur Sikhs saw, or affected to see, in this
Gurkha priority of landing, an intentional and studied insult to
himself, his contingent, and the whole Sikh race. He said
as much to his men, and then, standing up in the bows of the
boat, called out:
“Sahib! Would it not be better to let the Sherepur
Sikh Contingent land first, to ensure the safety
of—er—those beloved of the Sahib? There might
be an attack. . . .”
Not understanding in the least what the man was saying,
Bertram ignored him altogether, though he disliked the sound of
the laughter in the Sikh boat, and gathered from the face of the
Gurkha Subedar that something which he greatly resented had been
said.
“Khabadar . . . tum!” [98] the Gurkha hissed, as he stepped
ashore, and, with soldierly skill and promptness, got his men
formed up, in and around the ruined building and native village,
in readiness to cover the disembarkation of the rest. Five
minutes after he had landed, Bertram found it difficult to
believe that a hundred Gurkha Sepoys were within a hundred yards
of him, for not one was visible. At the end of a couple of
hours the untowed dhows had arrived, all troops, ammunition,
supplies and baggage were ashore, the boats had all departed, and
Bertram again found himself the only white man and sole authority
in this mixed force, and felt the burden of responsibility heavy
upon him.
The men having been formed up in their respective units, with
the rations, ammunition, and kit dump in their rear, Bertram
began to consider the advisability of leaving a strong guard over
the latter, and moving off in search of the brigade camp.
Would this be the right thing to do? Certainly his force
was of no earthly use to the main body so long as it squatted in
the mud where it had landed. Perhaps it was urgently wanted
at that very moment, and the General was praying for its arrival
and swearing at its non-arrival—every minute being
precious, and the fate of the campaign hanging upon its immediate
appearance. It might well be that an attack in their rear
by four hundred fresh troops would put to flight an enemy who, up
to that moment, had been winning. He would not know the
strength of this new assailant, nor whether it was to be measured
in hundreds or in thousands. Suppose the General was, at that very
moment, listening for his rifles, as Wellington listened for the
guns of his allies at Waterloo! And here he was, doing
nothing—wasting time. . . . Yes, but suppose this
dense bush were full of scouts and spies, as it well might be,
and probably was, and supposing that the ration and ammunition
dump was captured as soon as he had marched off with his main
body? A pretty start for his military career—to lose
the ammunition and food supply for the whole force within an hour
or two of getting it ashore! His name would be better known
than admired by the British Expeditionary Force in East Africa. .
. . What would Murray have done in such a case? . . .
Suppose he “split the difference” and neither left
the stores behind him nor stuck in the mud with them?
Suppose he moved forward in the direction of the Base Camp,
taking everything with him? But that would mean that every
soldier in the force would be burdened like a
coolie-porter—and, moreover, they’d have to move in
single file along the mud path that ran through the impenetrable
jungle. Suppose they were attacked? . . .
Bertram came to the conclusion that it may be a very fine
thing to have an independent command of one’s own, but that
personally he would give a great deal to find himself under the
command of somebody else—be he never so arrogant,
unsympathetic and harsh. Had Colonel Frost suddenly
appeared he would (metaphorically) have cast himself upon that
cold, stern man’s hard bosom in transports of relief and
joy. . . . He was going to do his very best, of course, and
would never shirk nor evade any duty that lay before
him—but—he felt a very lonely, anxious, undecided
lad, and anxiety was fast becoming nervousness and
fear—fear of doing the wrong thing, or of doing the right
thing in the wrong way. . . . Should he leave a strong
guard over the stores and advance? Should he remain where
he was, and protect the stores to the last? Or should he
advance with every man and every article the force possessed? . .
.
Could the remainder carry all that stuff if he told off a
strong advance-guard and rear-guard? And, if so, what could
a strong advance-guard or rear-guard do in single file if the
column were attacked in front or rear? How could he avoid
an ambush on either flank by discovering it in time—in
country which rendered the use of flank guards utterly
impossible? A man could only make his way through that
jungle of thorn, scrub, trees, creepers and
undergrowth by the patient and strenuous use of a broad axe and a
saw. A strong, determined man might do a mile of it in a
day. . . . Probably no human foot had trodden this soil in
a thousand years, save along the little narrow path of black
beaten mud that wound tortuously through it. Should he send
on a party of Gurkhas with a note to the General, asking whether
he should leave the stores or attempt to bring them with
him? The Gurkhas were splendid jungle-fighters and
splendidly willing. . . . But that would weaken his force
seriously, in the event of his being attacked. . . . And
suppose the party were ambushed, and he stuck there waiting and
waiting, for an answer that could never come. . . .
With a heavy sigh, he ran his eye over the scene—the
sullen, oily water, the ugly mangrove swamp of muddy, writhing
roots and twisted, slimy trunks, the dense, brooding jungle, the
grey, dull sky—all so unfriendly and uncomfortable, giving
one such a homeless, helpless feeling. The Gurkhas were
invisible. The Sherepur Sikhs sat in a tight-packed group
around their piled arms and listened to the words of their
Subedar, the men of the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth squatted in a
double row along the front of the adobe building, and the
Very Mixed Contingent was just a mob near the ration-dump, beside
which Ali Suleiman stood on guard over his master’s kit. .
. . Suppose there were a sudden attack? But there
couldn’t be? An enemy could only approach down that
narrow path in single file. The impenetrable jungle was his
friend until he moved. Directly he marched off it would be
his terrible foe, the host and concealer of a thousand
ambushes.
He felt that he had discovered a military maxim on his own
account. Impenetrable jungle is the friend of a force in
position, and the enemy of a force on the march. . .
. Anyhow, the Gurkhas were out in front as a line of sentry
groups, and nothing could happen to the force until they had come
into action. . . . Should he—
“Sahib! Ek Sahib ata hai. . .
. Bahut hubshi log ata hain,” said a voice,
and he sprang round, to see the Gurkha Subedar saluting.
What was that? “A sahib is coming. .
. . Many African natives are coming!” . .
. Then they were attacked after all! A German
officer was leading a force of askaris of the Imperial African
Rifles against them—those terrible Yaos and Swahilis whom
the Germans had disciplined into a splendid army, and whom they
permitted to loot and to slaughter after a successful fight. . .
.
His mouth went dry and the backs of his knees felt loose and
weak. He was conscious of a rush of blood to the heart and
a painful, sinking sensation of the stomach. . . . It had
come. . . . The hour of his first battle was upon him. . .
.
He swallowed hard.
“Achcha, [101a] Subedar
Sahib,” he said with seeming nonchalance,
“shaitan-log ko maro. Achcha kam
karo,”[101b] and turning to
the Sherepur Sikhs, the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth and the Very
Mixed Contingent bawled: “Fall in!” in a voice
that made those worthies perform the order as quickly as ever
they had done it in their lives.
“Dushman nahin hai, [101c]
Sahib,” said the Gurkha Subedar—as he realised
that Bertram had ordered him “to kill the
devils”—and explained that the people who approached
bore no weapons.
Hurrying forward with the Subedar to a bend in the path beyond
the burnt-out native village, Bertram saw a white man clad in
khaki shirt, shorts and puttees, with a large, thick
“pig-sticker” solar-topi of pith and quilted khaki on
his head, and a revolver and hunting-knife in his belt.
Behind him followed an apparently endless column of unarmed
negroes. Evidently these were friends—but there would
be no harm in taking all precautions in case of a ruse.
“Be ready,” he said to the Subedar.
That officer smiled and pointed right and left to where,
behind logs, mounds, bushes, and other cover, both natural and
hastily prepared, lay his men, rifles cuddled lovingly to
shoulder, fingers curled affectionately round triggers, eyes
fixed unswervingly upon the approaching column, and faces grimly
expectant. So still and so well hidden were they, that
Bertram had not noticed the fact of their presence. He
wondered whether the Subedar had personally strewn grass, leaves
and brushwood over them after they had taken up their
positions. He thought of the Babes in the Wood, and
visualised the fierce little Gurkha as a novel kind of robin for
the work of burying with dead leaves. . . .
He
stopped in the path and awaited the arrival of the white man.
“Good morning, Mr. Greene,” said that individual,
as he approached. “Sorry if I’ve kept you
waiting, but I had another job to finish first.”
Bertram stared in amazement at this person who rolled up from
the wilds of the Dark Continent with an unarmed party, addressed
him by name, and apologised for being late! He was a
saturnine and pessimistic-looking individual, wore the South
African War ribbons on his breast, and the letters C.C. on his
shoulders, and a lieutenant’s stars.
“Good morning,” replied Bertram, shaking
hands. “I’m awfully glad to see you. I
was wondering whether I ought to push off or stay here. . .
.”
“No attractions much here,” said the
new-comer. “I should bung off. . . . Straight
along this path. Can’t miss the way.”
“Is there much danger of attack?” asked
Bertram.
“Insects,” replied the other.
“Why not by Germans?” enquired Bertram.
“River on your left flank,” was the brief answer
of the saturnine and pessimistic one.
“Can’t they cross it by bridges?”
“No; owing to the absence of bridges. I’m
the only Bridges here,” sighed Mr. Bridges, of the Coolie
Corps.
“Why not in boats then?”
“Owing to the absence of boats.”
“Might not the Germans open fire on us from the opposite
bank then?” pursued the anxious Bertram, determined not to
begin his career in Africa with a “regrettable
incident,” due to his own carelessness.
“No; owing to the absence of Germans,” replied Mr.
Bridges. “Where’s your stuff? I’ve
brought a thousand of my blackbirds, so we’ll shift the lot
in one journey. If you like to shove off at once,
I’ll see nothing’s left behind. . . .”
And then, suddenly realising that there was not the least
likelihood of attack nor cause for anxiety, and that all he had
to do was to stroll along a path to the camp, where all
responsibility for the safety of men and materials would be taken
from him, Bertram relaxed, and realised that the heat was
appalling and that he felt very faint and ill. His kit had
suddenly grown insupportably heavy and unsufferably tight about his chest; his turban gave no
shade to his eyes nor protection to his temples and neck, and its
weight seemed to increase by pounds per minute. He felt
very giddy, blue lights appeared before his eyes, and there was a
surging and booming in his ears. He sat down, to avoid
falling.
“Hullo! Seedy?” ejaculated Bridges, and
turned to a big negro who stood behind him, and appeared to be a
person of quality, inasmuch as he wore the ruins of a helmet, a
khaki shooting-jacket much too small for him, and a whistle on a
string. (“Only that and nothing more.”)
“Here, MacGinty-my-lad,” said Bridges to this
gentleman, “m’dafu late hapa,” and with
a few whistling clicks and high-pitched squeals, the latter sped
another negro up a palm tree. Climbing it like a monkey,
the negro tore a huge yellow coco-nut from the bunch that
clustered beneath the spreading palm leaves, and flung it
down. This, Mr. MacGinty-my-lad retrieved and, with one
skilful blow of a panga, a kind of machete or
butchers’ axe, decapitated.
“Have a swig at this,” said Bridges, handing the
nut to Bertram, who discovered it to contain about a quart of
deliciously cool, sweet “milk,” as clear as distilled
water.
“Thanks awfully, Bridges,” said he. “I
think I had a touch of the sun. . . .”
“Had a touch of breakfast?” enquired the
other.
“No,” replied Bertram.
“Hence the milk in the coco-nut,” said Bridges,
and added, “If you want to live long and die happy in
Africa, you must do yourself well. It’s the
secret of success. You treat your tummy well—and
often—and it’ll do the same for you. . . . If
you don’t, well, you’ll be no good to yourself nor
anyone else.”
“Thanks,” said the ever-grateful Bertram, and
arose feeling much better.
“Fall in, Subedar Sahib,” said he to the Gurkha
officer, and the latter quickly assembled his men as a company in
line.
The Subedar of the Sherepur Sikhs approached and
saluted. “We want to be the advance-guard,
Sahib,” he said.
“Certainly,” replied Bertram, and added
innocently, “There is no enemy between here and the
camp.”
The Sikh flashed a glance of swift suspicion at him. . .
. Was this an intentional riposte? Was the
young Sahib more subtle than he looked? Had he meant
“The Sikhs may form the advance-guard because there
is no fear of attack,” with the implication that the
Gurkhas would again have held the post of honour and danger if
there had been any danger?
“I don’t like the look of that bloke,”
observed Bridges, as the Sikh turned away, and added:
“Well—I’ll handle your stuff now, if
you’ll bung off,” and continued his way to the dump,
followed by Mr. MacGinty and a seemingly endless file of very
tall, very weedy, Kavirondo negroes, of an unpleasant, scaly,
greyish-black colour and more unpleasant, indescribable, but
fishlike odour. These worthies were variously dressed, some
in a panga or machete, some in a tin pot, others in
a gourd, a snuff-box, a tea-cup, a saucepan or a jam-jar.
Every man, however, without exception, possessed a red blanket,
and every man, without exception, wore it, for modesty’s
sake, folded small upon his head—where it also served the
purpose of a porter’s pad, intervening between his head and
the load which it was his life’s work to bear thereupon. .
. . When these people conversed, it was in the high, piping
voices of little children, and when Bridges, Mr. MacGinty-my-lad,
or any less neapara (head man), made a threatening
movement towards one of them, the culprit would forthwith put his
hands to his ears, draw up one foot to the other knee, close his
eyes, cringe, and emit an incredibly thin, small squeal, a sound
infinitely ridiculous in the mouth of a man six feet or more in
stature. . . . When the last of these quaint creatures had
passed, Bertram strode to where the Sherepur Sikhs had formed up
in line, ready to march off at the head of the force. The
Subedar gave an order, the ranks opened, the front rank turned
about, and the rifles, with bayonet already fixed, came down to
the “ready,” and Bertram found himself between the
two rows of flickering points.
“Charge magazhinge,” shouted the Subedar,
and Bertram found an odd dozen of rifles waving in the direction
of his stomach, chest, face, neck and back, as their owners gaily
loaded them. . . . Was there going to be an
“accident”? . . . Were there covert smiles on
any of the fierce bearded faces of the big men? . . .
Should he make a dash from between the ranks? . . .
No—he would stand his ground and look displeased at this
truly “native” method of charging magazines. It
seemed a long time before the Subedar gave the orders,
“Front rank—about turn. . . . Form fours. . .
. Right,” and the company was ready to march off.
“All is ready, Sahib,” said the Subedar,
approaching Bertram. “Shall I lead on?”
“Yes, Subedar Sahib,” replied Bertram, “but
why do your men face each other and point their rifles at each
other’s stomachs when they load them?”
His Hindustani was shockingly faulty, but evidently the
Subedar understood.
“They are not afraid of being shot, Sahib,” said
he, smiling superiorly.
“Then it is a pity they are not afraid of being called
slovenly, clumsy, jungly recruits,” replied
Bertram—and before the scowling officer could reply, added:
“March on—and halt when I whistle,” in sharp
voice and peremptory manner.
Before long the little force was on its way, the Gurkhas
coming last—as the trusty rear-guard, Bertram
explained—and, after half an hour’s uneventful march
through the stinking swamp, reached the Base Camp of the
M’paga Field Force—surely one of the ugliest,
dreariest and most depressing spots in which ever a British force
sat down and acquired assorted diseases.
Halting his column, closing it up, and calling it to
attention, Bertram marched past the guard of King’s African
Rifles and entered the Camp. This consisted of a huge
square, enclosed by low earthen walls and shallow trenches, in
which were the “lines” of the Indian and African
infantry, composing the inadequate little force which was
invading German East Africa, rather with the idea of protecting
British East than achieving conquest. The
“lines” of the Sepoys and askaris consisted of
rows of tiny low tents, while along the High Street of the Camp
stood hospital tents, officers’ messes, the General’s
tent, and that of his Brigade Major, and various other tents
connected with the mysteries of the field telegraph and
telephone, the Army Service Corps’ supply and transport,
and various offices of Brigade and Regimental Headquarters. As he
passed the General’s tent (indicated by a flagstaff and
Union Jack), a tall lean officer, with a white-moustached,
keen-eyed face, emerged and held up his hand. Seeing the
crossed swords of a General on his shoulder-straps, Bertram
endeavoured to rise to the occasion, roared: “Eyes
right,” “Eyes front,” and then
“Halt,” saluted and stepped forward.
The General shook hands with him, and said: “Glad to see
you. Hope you’re ready for plenty of hard work, for
there’s plenty for you. . . Glad to see your men
looking so businesslike and marching so smartly. . . . All
right—carry on. . . .”
Bertram would gladly have died for that General on the spot,
and it was positively with a lump (of gratitude, so to speak) in
his throat that he gave the order “Quick
march,” and proceeded, watched by hundreds of native
soldiers, who crawled out of their low tents or rose up from
where they lay or squatted to clean accoutrements, gossip, eat,
or contemplate Infinity.
Arrived at the opposite entrance of the Camp, Bertram felt
foolish, but concealed the fact by pretending that he had chosen
this as a suitable halting place, bawled:
“Halt,” “Into line—left
turn,” “Stand at ease,”
“Stand easy,” and determined to wait
events. He had carried out his orders and brought the
troops to the Camp as per instructions. Somebody else could
come and take them if they wanted them. . . .
As he stood, trying to look unconcerned, a small knot of
British officers strolled up, headed by a tall and
important-looking person arrayed in helmet, open shirt, shorts,
grey stockings and khaki canvas shoes.
“Greene?” said he.
“Yes, sir,” said Bertram, saluting.
“Brigade Major,” continued the officer, apparently
introducing himself. “March the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth on and report to Colonel Rock. The Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth are outside the perimeter,” and he pointed to
where, a quarter of a mile away, were some grass huts and rows of
tiny tents. “The remainder will be taken over by
their units here, and your responsibility for them
ceases.”
Bertram, very thankful to be rid of them, marched on with the
Hundred, and halted them in front of the low tents, from which,
with whoops of joy, poured forth the warriors of the Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth in search of any bhai, pal, townee, bucky,
or aunt’s cousin’s husband’s sister’s
son—(who, as such, would have a strong claim upon his good
offices)—in the ranks of this thrice-welcome
reinforcement.
Leaving the Hundred in charge of Jemadar Hassan Ali to await
orders, Bertram strode to a large grass banda, or hut,
consisting of three walls and a roof, through the open end of
which he could see a group of British officers sitting on boxes
and stools, about a long and most uneven, undulating table of
box-sides nailed on sticks and supported by four upright
logs.
At the head of this table, on which were maps and papers, sat
a small thick-set man, who looked the personification of vigour,
force and restless activity. Seeing that this officer wore
a crown and star on his shoulder-strap, Bertram went up to him,
saluted, and said:
“Second-Lieutenant Greene, I.A.R., sir. I have
brought a hundred men from the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth, and nine
cooking-pots—which Colonel Frost wishes to have returned at
once. . . .”
“The men or the cooking-pots, or both?” enquired
Colonel Rock, whose habit of sarcastic and savage banter made him
feared by all who came in contact with him, and served to conceal
a very kindly and sympathetic nature.
“The cooking-pots, sir,” replied Bertram, blushing
as the other officers eyed him critically and with half-smiles at
the Colonel’s humour. Bertram felt, a little
cynically, that such wit from an officer of their own rank would
not have seemed so pleasingly humorous to some of these
gentlemen, and that, moreover, he had again discovered a Military
Maxim on his own account. The value and humorousness of
any witty remark made by any person in military uniform is in
inverse ratio to the rank and seniority of the individual to whom
it is made. In other words, a Colonel must smile at a
General’s joke, a Major must grin broadly, a Captain laugh
appreciatively, a Subaltern giggle right heartily, a Warrant
Officer or N.C.O. explode into roars of laughter, and a private
soldier roll helpless upon the ground in spasms and convulsions
of helpless mirth.
Hearing a distinct snigger from the end of the table, Bertram
glanced in that direction, said to himself, “You’re a
second-lieutenant, by your appreciative giggle,” and
encountered the sneering stare of a vacant-faced youth whom he heartily
disliked on sight.
“Wants the cooking-pots back, but not the men,
eh?” observed the Colonel, and, turning to the officer who
sat at his left hand, a tall, handsome man with a well-bred,
pleasant, dark face, who was Adjutant of the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth, added:
“Better go and see if there’s good reason for his
not wanting them back, Hall. . . . Colonel Frost’s a
good man at selling a horse—perhaps he’s sold us a
pup. . . .”
More giggles from the vacant faced youth as Captain Hall arose
and went out of the shed of grass and sticks, thatched on a
framework of posts, which was the Officers’ Mess of the
Hundred and Ninety-Eighth Regiment.
Feeling shy and nervous, albeit most thankful to be among
senior officers who would henceforth relieve him of the lonely
responsibility he had found so trying and burdensome, Bertram
seized the opportunity of the Adjutant’s departure to
escape, and followed that officer to where the Hundred awaited
the order to dismiss.
“Brought a tent?” asked Captain Hall, as they went
along.
“No,” replied Bertram. “Ought I to
have done so?”
“If you value your comfort on these picnics,” was
the answer. “You’ll find it a bit damp o’
nights when it rains, in one of these grass huts. . . . You
can pig in with me to-night, and we’ll set a party of
Kavirondo to build you a banda to-morrow if you’re
staying on here.”
“Thanks awfully,” acknowledged Bertram.
“Am I likely to go on somewhere else, though?”
“I did hear something about your taking a provision
convoy up to Butindi the day after to-morrow,” was the
reply. “One of our Majors is up there with a mixed
force of Ours and the Arab Company, with some odds and ends of
King’s African Rifles and things. . . . Pity you
haven’t a tent.”
After looking over the Hundred and committing them to the
charge of the Subedar-Major of the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth,
Captain Hall invited Bertram “to make himself at
home” in his hut, and led the way to where a row of green
tents and grass huts stood near the Officers’ Mess.
On a Roorkee chair, at the door of one of these, sat none other
than the Lieutenant Stanner whom Bertram had last seen on the
deck of Elymas. With him was another subaltern, one of
the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth.
“Hullo, Greene-bird!” cried Stanner.
“Welcome home. Allow me to present you to my friend
Best. . . . He is Very Best to-day, because he has got a
bottle of whisky in his bed. He’ll only be Second
Best to-morrow, because he won’t have any by then. . .
. Not if he’s a gentleman, that is,” he added,
eyeing Best anxiously.
That officer grinned, arose, and entering the hut, produced
the whisky, a box of “sparklets,” a kind of siphon,
and a jug of dirty water.
“You already know Hall?” continued Stanner, the
loquacious. “I was at school with his father.
He’s a good lad. Address him as Baronial Hall when
you want something, Music Hall when you’re feeling girlish,
Town Hall when he’s coming the pompous Adjutant over you,
and Mission Hall when you’re tired of him.”
“Don’t associate with him, Greene. Come
away,” said Captain Hall. “He’ll teach
you to play shove-ha’penny, to smoke, and to use bad
language,” but as Best handed him a whisky-and-dirty-water,
feebly aerated by a sparklet, he tipped Stanner from his chair,
seated himself in it, murmured, “When sinners entice thee,
consent thou some,” and drank.
“Why are you dressed like that? Is it your
birthday, or aren’t you very well?” enquired Stanner
suddenly, eyeing Bertram’s lethal weapons and Sepoy’s
turban. Bertram blushed, pleaded that he had nowhere to
“undress,” and had only just arrived. Whereupon
the Adjutant, remarking that he must be weary, arose and took him
to his hut.
“Get out of everything but your shirt and shorts, my
son,” said he, “and chuck that silly puggri
away before you get sunstroke. All very well if
you’re going into a scrap, but it’s as safe as
Piccadilly round here.” Bertram, as he sank into the
Adjutant’s chair, suddenly realised that he was more tired
than ever he had been in his life before.
“Where Bwana sleeping to-night, sah, thank you,
please?” boomed a familiar voice, and before the tent stood
the faithful Ali, bowing and saluting—behind him three tall
Kavirondo carrying Bertram’s kit. Ali had
commandeered these men from Bridges’ party, and had hurried
them off far in advance of the porters who were bringing in the
general kit, rations, and ammunition. By means best
known to himself he had galvanised the “low niggers”
into agility and activity that surprised none more than
themselves.
“Oh—it’s my servant,” said Bertram to
the Adjutant. “May he put my bed in here,
then?”
“That’s the idea,” replied Captain Hall,
and, in a few minutes, Bertram’s camp-bed was erected and
furnished with bedding and mosquito net, his washhand-stand was
set up, and his canvas bucket filled with water. Not until
everything possible had been done for his master’s comfort
did Ali disappear to that mysterious spot whereunto native
servants repair beyond the ken of the master-folk, when in need
of food, leisure and relaxation.
Having washed, eaten and slept, Bertram declared himself
“a better and wiser man,” and asked Hall if he might
explore the Camp, its wonders to admire. “Oh,
yes,” said Hall, “but don’t go into the
gambling dens, boozing-kens, dancing-saloons and faro tents, to
squander your money, time and health.”
“Are there any?” asked Bertram, in
wide-eyed astonishment.
“No,” replied Hall.
Bertram wished people would not be so fond of exercising their
humour at his expense. He wondered why it was that he was
always something of a butt. It could not be that he was an
absolute fool, or he would not have been a Scholar of
Balliol. He sighed. Could one be a Scholar of
Balliol and a fool? . . .
“You might look in on the General, though,”
continued Hall, “and be chatty. . . . It’s a
very lonely life, y’know, a General’s.
I’m always sorry for the poor old beggars.
Yes—he’d be awfully glad to see you. . . . Ask
you to call him Willie before you’d been there a couple of
hours, I expect.”
“D’you mean I ought to call on the General
formally?” asked Bertram, who knew that Hall was
“ragging” again, as soon as he introduced the
“Willie” touch.
“Oh, don’t be too formal,” was the
reply. “Be matey and cosy with him. . . . I
don’t suppose he’s had a really heart-to-heart chat
with a subaltern about the things that really
matter—the Empire (the Leicester Square one, I mean);
Ciro’s; the girls; George Robey, George Graves, Mr.
Bottomley, Mrs. Pankhurst and the other great
comedians—since I dunno-when. He’d love
to buck about what’s doing in town, with you,
y’know. . . .”
Bertram sighed again. It was no good.
Everybody pulled his leg and seemed to sum him up in two
minutes as the sort of green ass who’d believe anything he
was told, and do anything that was suggested.
“I say, Hall,” he said suddenly, “I’m
a civilian, y’know, and a bit of a fool, too, no
doubt. I am absolutely ignorant of all military matters,
particularly those of etiquette. I am going to ask you
things, since you are Adjutant of the corps I’m with.
If you score off me, I think it’ll be rather a cheap
triumph and an inglorious victory, don’t you? . . .
I’m not a bumptious and conceited ass, mind—only an
ignorant one, who fully admits it, and asks for help. . .
.”
As the poet says, it is a long lane that has no public-house,
and a long worm that has no turning.
Hall stared.
“Well said, Greene,” quoth he, and never jested at
Bertram’s expense again.
“Seriously—should I leave a card on the
General?” continued Bertram.
“You should not,” was the reply.
“Avoid Generals as you would your creditors.
They’re dangerous animals in peace-time. On
manœuvres they’re ferocious. On active service
they’re rapid. . . .”
“Any harm in my strolling round the Camp?” pursued
Bertram. “I’m awfully interested, and might get
some ideas of the useful kind.”
“None whatever,” said Hall. “No reason
why you shouldn’t prowl around like the hosts of Midian
till dinner-time. There’s nothing doing in the
Hundred and Ninety-Eighth till four a.m. to-morrow, and
you’re not in that, either.”
“What is it?” asked Bertram.
“Oh, a double-company of Ours is going out to mop up a
little post the Germans have established across the river.
We’re going to learn ’em not to do such,” said
Hall.
“D’you think I might go?” asked Bertram,
wondering, even as he spoke, whether it was his voice that was
suggesting so foolish a thing as that Bertram Greene should arise
at three-thirty in the morning to go, wantonly and without
reason, where bullets were flying, bayonets were stabbing, and
death and disablement were abroad.
“Dunno,” yawned Hall. “Better ask the
Colonel. What’s the matter with bed at four ack
emma? That’s where I’d be if I weren’t in
orders for this silly show.”
As Bertram left the tent on his tour of exploration he decided
that he would ask the Colonel if he might go with the expedition,
and then he decided that he would do nothing so utterly foolish.
. . . No, of course he wouldn’t. . . .
Yes, he would. . . .
Rightly or wrongly, Bertram gathered the impression, as he
strolled about the Camp, that this was not a confident and
high-spirited army, drunk with the heady fumes of a debauch of
victory. The demeanour of the Indian Sepoys led him to the
conclusion, just or unjust, that they had “got their tails
down.” They appeared weary, apprehensive, even
despondent, when not merely apathetic, and seemed to him to be
distinctly what they themselves would call
mugra—pessimistic and depressed.
The place alone was sufficient to depress anybody, he freely
admitted, as he gazed around at the dreary grey environs of this
little British pied-à-terre—grey thorn bush;
grey grass; grey baobab trees (like hideous grey carrots with
whiskerish roots, pulled up from the ground and stood on end);
grey shell-strewn mud; grey bushwood; grey mangroves; grey
sky. Yes, an inimical minatory landscape; a brooding,
unwholesome, sinister landscape; the home of fever, dysentery,
disease and sudden death. And over all hung a horrible
sickening stench of decay, an evil smell that seemed to settle at
the pit of the stomach as a heavy weight.
No wonder if Indians from the hills, deserts, plains and towns
of the Deccan, the Punjab, Rajputana, and Nepal, found this
terrible place of most terrific heat, foul odour, bad water and
worse mud, enervating and depressing. . . . Poor
beggars—it wasn’t their war either. . .
. The faces of the negroes of the King’s African
Rifles were inscrutable, and, being entirely ignorant of their
ways, manners, and customs, he could not tell whether they were
exhibiting signs of discouragement and depression, or whether
their bearing and demeanour were entirely normal. Certainly
they seemed a stolid and reserved folk, with a kind of dignity
and self-respecting aloofness that he had somehow not
expected. In their tall tarbooshes, jerseys, shorts and
puttees, they looked most workman-like and competent soldiers. .
. . Certainly they did not tally with his preconceived idea
of them as a merry, care-free, irresponsible folk who grinned all
over their faces for sheer light-heartedness, and spent their
leisure time in twanging the banjo, clacking the bones, singing
rag-time songs and doing the cake-walk. On duty, they stood
like ebon statues and opened not their mouths. Off duty
they squatted like ebon statuettes and shut them. Perhaps
they did not know that England expects every nigger to do his
duty as a sort of born music-hall, musical minstrel—or
perhaps they were depressed, like the Sepoys, and had laid
aside their banjoes, bones, coon-songs and
double-shuffle-flap-dancing boots until brighter days? . .
. Anyhow, decided Bertram, he would much rather be with
these stalwarts than against them, when they charged with their
triangular bayonets on their Martini rifles; and if the German
askaris were of similar type, he cared not how long his
first personal encounter with them might be postponed. . .
. Nor did the Englishmen of the Army Service Corps, the
Royal Engineers, the Signallers and other details, strike him as
light-hearted and bubbling with the joie de vivre.
Frankly they looked ill, and they looked anxious. . . .
Strolling past the brushwood-and-grass hut which was the
R.A.M.C. Officers’ Mess, he heard the remark:
“They’ve only got to leave us here in peace a
little while for us all to die natural deaths of malaria or
dysentery. The wily Hun knows that all right. . .
. No fear—we shan’t be attacked here. No
such luck.”
“Not unless we make ourselves too much of a nuisance to
him,” said another voice. “’Course, if we
go barging about and capturing his trading posts and
‘factories,’ and raiding his shambas,
he’ll come down on us all right. . . .”
“I dunno what we’re doing here at all,” put
in a third speaker. “You can’t invade a
blooming continent like German East with a weak brigade of
sick Sepoys. . . . Sort of bloomin’ Jameson’s
Raid. . . . Why—they could come down the railway from
Tabora or Kilimanjaro way with enough European troops alone to eat us
alive. What are we here, irritating ’em at all for,
I want to know? . . .”
“Why, to maintain Britain’s glorious
traditions—of sending far too weak a force in the first
place,” put in the first speaker.
“They’ll send an adequate army later on, all right,
and do the job in style. We’ve got to demonstrate the
necessity for the adequate army first, though. . . .”
“Sort of bait, like,” said another, and
yawned. “Well, we’ve all fished, I expect. . .
. Know how the worm feels now. . . .”
“I’ve only fished with flies,” observed a
languid and euphuistic voice.
“What an honour for the ’appy fly!”
replied the worm-fisherman, and there was a guffaw of
laughter.
Bertram realised that he was loitering to the point of
eavesdropping, and strolled on, pondering many things in his
heart. . . .
In one corner of the great square of mud which was the Camp,
Bertram came upon a battery consisting of four tiny guns.
Grouped about them stood their Sepoy gunners, evidently at drill
of some kind, for, at a sudden word from a British officer
standing near, they leapt upon them, laboured frantically for
five seconds, stood clear again, and, behold, each gun lay
dismembered and prone upon the ground—the wheels off, the
trail detached, the barrel of the gun itself in two parts, so
that the breech half was separate from the muzzle half. At
another word from the officer the statuesque Sepoys again sprang
to life, seized each man a piece of the dismembered gun, lifted
it above his head, raised it up and down, replaced it on the
ground and once more stood at attention. Another order,
and, in five seconds, the guns were reassembled and ready to
fire.
“A mountain-battery of screw guns, so called because
they screw and unscrew in the middle of the barrel,” said
Bertram to himself, and concluded that the drill he had just
witnessed was that required for putting the dissected guns on the
backs of mules for mountain transport, and rebuilding them for
use. Certainly they were wonderfully nippy, these Sepoys,
and seemed, perhaps, rather more cheery than the others.
One old gentleman who had a chestful of medal-ribbons raised and
lowered a gun-wheel above his head as though it had been of
cardboard, in spite of his long grey beard and pensioner-like
appearance.
Bertram envied the subaltern in command of this battery.
How splendid it must be to know exactly what to do and to
be able to do it; to be conscious that you are adequate and
competent, equal to any demand that can be made upon you.
Probably this youth was enjoying this campaign in the mud and
stench and heat as much as he had ever enjoyed a picnic or
tramping or boating holiday in England. . . . Lucky dog. .
. .
At about seven o’clock that evening, Bertram
“dined” in the Officers’ Mess of the Hundred
and Ninety-Eighth. The rickety hut, through the walls of
which the fires of the Camp could be seen, and through the roof
of which the great stars were visible, was lighted, or left in
darkness, by a hurricane-lamp which dangled from the
ridge-pole. The officers of the corps sat on boxes,
cane-stools, shooting-seats, or patent “weight-less”
contrivances of aluminium and canvas. The vacant-faced
youth, whose name was Grayne, had a bicycle-saddle which could be
raised and lowered on a metal rod. He was very proud of it
and fell over backwards twice during dinner. Bertram would
have had nothing whatever to sit on had not the excellent and
foresighted Ali discovered the fact in time to nail the two sides
of a box in the shape of the letter T by means of a stone and the
nails still adhering to the derelict wood. On this Bertram
balanced himself with less danger and discomfort than might have
been expected, the while he viewed with mixed feelings
Ali’s apologies and promise that he would steal a really
nice stool or chair by the morrow.
On the mosaic of box-sides that formed the undulating, uneven,
and fissured table-top, the Mess servant places tin plates
containing a thin and nasty soup, tasting, Bertram thought, of
cooking-pot, dish-cloth, wood-smoke, tin plate and the thumb of
the gentleman who had borne it from the cook-house, or rather the
cook-hole-in-the-ground, to the Mess hut. The flourish with
which Ali placed it before his “beloved ole marstah”
as he ejaculated “Soop, sah, thick an’ clear
thank-you please” went some way to make it interesting, but
failed to make it palatable.
Although sick and faint for want of food, Bertram was not
hungry or in a condition to appreciate disgraceful cooking
disgustingly served.
As he sat awaiting the next course, after rejecting the
thick-an’-clear “soup,” Bertram took stock of
the gentlemen whom, in his heart, he proudly, if shyly, called
his brother-officers.
At
the head of the table sat the Colonel, looking gloomy and
distrait. Bertram wondered if he were thinking of the
friends and comrades-in-arms he had left in the vile jungle round
Tanga—his second-in-command and half a dozen more of his
officers—and a third of his men. Was he thinking of
his School—and Sandhurst—and life-long friend and
trusted colleague, Major Brett-Boyce, slain by the German
askaris as he lay wounded, propped against a tree by the
brave and faithful dresser of the subordinate medical service,
who was murdered with him in the very midst of his noble work, by
those savage and brutal disciples of a more savage and brutal
kultur?
Behind him stood his servant, a tall Mussulman in fairly clean
white garments, and a big white turban round which was fastened a
broad ribbon of the regimental colours adorned with the
regimental crest in silver.
“Tell the cook that he and I will have a quiet chat in
the morning, if he’ll be good enough to come to my tent
after breakfast—and then the provost-marshal shall show him
a new game, perhaps,” said the Colonel to this man as he
finished his soup.
With the ghost of a smile the servant bowed, removed the
Colonel’s plate and departed to gloat over the cook, who,
as a Goanese, despised “natives” heartily and without
concealment, albeit himself as black as a negro.
Returning, the Colonel’s servant bore a huge metal dish
on which reposed a mound of most repulsive-looking meat in lumps,
rags, shreds, strings, tendrils and fibres, surrounded by a
brownish clear water. This was a seven-pound tin of
bully-beef heated and turned out in all its native ugliness,
naked and unadorned, on to the dish. Like everyone else,
Bertram took a portion on his plate, and, like everyone else,
left it on his plate, and, like everyone else, left it after
tasting a morsel—or attempting to taste, for bully-beef
under such conditions has no taste whatever. To chew it is
merely as though one dipped a ball of rag and string into dirty
water, warmed it, put it in one’s mouth, and attempted to
masticate it. To swallow it is moreover to attain the same
results—nutrient, metabolic and sensational—as would
follow upon the swallowing of the said ball of rags and
string.
The morsel of bully-beef that Bertram put in his mouth abode
with him. Though of the West it was like the unchanging
East, for it changed not. He chewed and chewed, rested
from his labours, and chewed again, in an honest and earnest
endeavour to take nourishment and work out his own insalivation,
but was at last forced to acknowledge himself defeated by the
stout and tough resistance of the indomitable lump. It did
not know when it was beaten and it did not know when it was
eaten; nor, had he been able to swallow it, would the
“juices” of his interior have succeeded where those
of his mouth, aided by his excellent teeth, had failed. In
course of time it became a problem—another of those small
but numerous and worrying problems that were fast bringing
wrinkles to his forehead, hollows to his cheeks, a look of care
and anxiety to his eyes, and nightmares to his sleep. He
could not reduce it, he could not swallow it, he could not
publicly reject it. What could he do? . . . A
bright idea. . . . Tactics. . . . He dropped his
handkerchief—and when he arose from stooping to retrieve
it, he was a free man again. A few minutes later a lump of
bully-beef undiminished, unaffected and unfrayed, travelled
across the mud floor of the hut in the mandibles of an army of
big black ants, to provide them also with a disappointment and a
problem, and, perchance, with a bombproof shelter for their young
in a subterranean dug-out of the ant-hill. . . .
Bertram again looked around at his fellow-officers. Not
one of them appeared to have reduced the evil-looking mass of
fibrous tissue and gristle that lay upon his plate—nor,
indeed, did Bertram, throughout the campaign, ever see anyone
actually eat and swallow the disgusting and repulsive muck served
out to the officers and European units of the Expeditionary
Force—hungry as they often were.
To his foolish civilian mind it seemed that if the money which
this foul filth cost (for even bully-beef costs money—ask
the contractors) had been spent on a half or a quarter or a tithe
of the quantity of edible meat—such as tinned
ox-tongue—sick and weary soldiers labouring and suffering
for their country in a terrible climate, might have had a
sufficiency of food which they could have eaten with pleasure and
digested with benefit, without costing their grateful country a
penny more. . . . Which is an absurd and ridiculous notion
expressed in a long and involved sentence. . . .
Next, to the Colonel, eyeing his plate of bully-beef through
his monocle and with patent disgust, sat Major Manton, a
tall, aristocratic person who looked extraordinarily smart and
dapper. Hair, moustache, finger-nails and hands showed
signs of obvious care, and he wore tunic, tie and, in fact,
complete uniform, in an assembly wherein open shirts, bare arms,
white tennis shoes, slacks, shorts, and even flannel trousers
were not unknown. Evidently the Major put correctness
before comfort—or, perhaps, found his chief comfort in
being correct. He spoke to no one, but replied suavely when
addressed. He looked to Bertram like a man who loathed a
rough and rude environment having the honour or pleasure or
satisfaction of knowing that he noticed its existence, much less
that he troubled to loathe it. Bertram imagined that in the
rough and tumble of hand-to-hand fighting, the Major’s
weapon would be the revolver, his aim quick and clean, his
demeanour unhurried and unflurried, the expression of his face
cold and unemotional.
Beside him sat a Captain Tollward in strong contrast, a great
burly man with the physiognomy and bull-neck of a prize-fighter,
the hands and arms of a navvy, and the figure of a brewer’s
dray-man. Frankly, he looked rather a brute, and Bertram
pictured him in a fight—using a fixed bayonet or clubbed
rifle with tremendous vigour and effect. He would be purple
of face and wild of eye, would grunt like a bull with every blow,
roar to his men like a charging lion, and swear like a bargee
between whiles. . . . “Thank God for all
England’s Captain Tollwards this day,” thought
Bertram as he watched the powerful-looking man, and thought of
the gladiators of ancient Rome.
Stanner was keeping him in roars of Homeric laughter with his
jests and stories, no word of any one of which brought the shadow
of a smile to the expressionless strong face of Major Manton, who
could hear every one of the jokes that convulsed Tollward and
threatened him with apoplexy. Next to Stanner sat Hall, who
gave Bertram, his left-hand neighbour, such information and
advice as he could, anent his taking of the convoy to Butindi,
should such be his fate.
“You’ll see some fighting up there, if you ever
get there,” said he. “They’re always
having little ‘affairs of out-posts’ and patrol
scraps. You may be cut up on the way, of course. . .
. If the Germans lay for you they’re bound to get
you, s’ far as I can see. . . . How can you
defend a convoy of a thousand porters going in single file through
impenetrable jungle along a narrow path that it’s
practically impossible to leave? . . . You can have an
advance-guard and a rear-guard, of course, and much good may they
do you when your safari covers anything from a couple of
miles to three or four. . . . What are you going to do if
it’s attacked in the middle, a mile or so away from where
you are yourself? . . . What are you going to do if they
ambush your advance-guard and mop the lot up, as they perfectly
easily could do, at any point on the track, if they know
you’re coming—as of course they will do, as soon as
we know it ourselves. . . .”
“You fill me with despondency and alarm,” said
Bertram, with a lightness that he was far from feeling, and a
sinking sensation that was not wholly due to emptiness of
stomach.
Suddenly he was aware that a new stench was contending with
the familiar one of decaying vegetation, rotting shell-fish, and
the slime that was neither land nor water, but seemed a foul
grease formed by the decomposition of leaves, grasses, trees,
fish, molluscs and animals in an inky, oily fluid that the tides
but churned up for the freer exhalation of poisonous miasma, and
had not washed away since the rest of the world arose out of
chaos and darkness, that man might breathe and thrive. . .
. The new smell was akin to the old one but more
penetrating, more subtly vile, more vulgar, than that
ancient essence of decay and death and dissolution,
and—awaking from a brown study in which he saw visions of
himself writhing beneath the bayonets of a dozen gigantic
savages, as he fell at the head of his convoy—he perceived
that the new and conquering odour proceeded from the
cheese. On a piece of tin, that had been the lid of a box,
it lay and defied competition, while, with the unfaltering step
of a strong man doing right, because it is his duty, Ali Suleiman
bore it from bwana to bwana with the booming
murmur: “Cheese, please God, sah, thank you.”
To the observant and thoughtful Bertram its reception by each
member of the Mess was interesting and instructive, as indicative
of his character, breeding, and personality.
The Colonel eyed it with a cold smile.
“Yes. Please God it is only cheese,”
he remarked, “but take it away—quick.”
Major Manton glanced at it and heaved a very gentle
sigh. “No, thank you, Boy,” he said.
Captain Tollward sniffed hard, turned to Stanner, and
roared with laughter.
“What ho, the High Explosive!” he shouted, and
“What ho, the Forty Rod Gorgonzola—so called because
it put the battery-mules out of action at that distance. . .
. Who unchained it, I say? Boy, where’s its
muzzle?” and he cut himself a generous slice.
Stanner buried his nose in his handkerchief and waved Ali away
as he thrust the nutritious if over-prevalent delicacy upon his
notice.
“Take it to Bascombe Bwana and ask him to fire it
from his guns,” said he. “Serve the Germans
right for using poison-gas and liquid fire. . . . Teach
’em a lesson, what, Tollward?”
“Don’t be dev’lish-minded,” replied
that officer when laughter permitted him to speak.
“You’re as bad as the bally Huns yourself to suggest
such an atrocity. . . .”
“Seems kinder radio-active,” said Hall, eyeing it
with curiosity. “Menacing . . .” and he also
drove it from him.
Bertram, as one who, being at war, faces the horrors of war as
they come, took a piece of the cheese and found that its bite,
though it skinned the roof of his mouth, was not as bad as its
bark. Grayne affected to faint when the cheese reached him,
and the others did according to their kind.
Following in the tracks of Ali came another servant, bearing a
wooden box, which he tendered to each diner, but as one who goeth
through an empty ritual, and without hope that his offering will
be accepted. In the box Bertram saw large thick biscuits
exceedingly reminiscent of the dog-biscuit of commerce, but paler
in hue and less attractive of appearance. He took one, and
the well-trained servant only dropped the box in his
surprise.
“What are you going to do with that?”
enquired Hall.
“Why!—eat it, I suppose,” said Bertram.
“People don’t eat those,” replied
Hall.
“Why not?” asked Bertram.
“Try it and see,” was the response.
Bertram did, and desisted not until his teeth ached and he
feared to break them. There was certainly no fear of
breaking the biscuit. Was it a sort of practical joke
biscuit—a rather clever imitation of a biscuit in concrete,
hardwood, or pottery-ware of some kind?
“I understand why people do not eat them,”
he admitted.
“Can’t be done,” said Hall.
“Why, even the Kavirondo who eat live slugs, dead snakes,
uncooked rice, raw flesh or rotten flesh and any part of any
animal there is, do not regard those things as food. . . .
They make ornaments of them, tools, weapons, missiles, all sorts
of things. . . .”
“I suppose if one were really starving one could live on
them for a time,” said the honest and serious-minded
Bertram, ever a seeker after truth.
“Not unless one could get them into one’s stomach,
I suppose,” was the reply; “and I don’t see how
one would do it. . . . I was reduced to trying once, and I
tried hard. I put one in a basin and poured boiling water
on it. . . . No result whatever. . . . I left it to
soak for an hour while I chewed and chewed a piece of bully-beef.
. . . Result? . . . It was slightly darker in colour,
but I could no more bite into it than I could into a tile or a
book. . . .”
“Suppose you boiled one,” suggested Bertram.
“Precisely what I did,” said Hall, “for my
blood was up, apart from the fact that I was starving. It
was a case of Hall versus a Biscuit. I boiled
it—or rather watched the cook boil it in a chattie.
. . . I gave it an hour. At the end of the hour it
was of a slightly still darker colour—and showed signs of
splitting through the middle. But never a bit could I get
off it. . . . ‘Boil the dam’ thing all day and all
night, and give it me hot for breakfast,’ said I to the
cook. . . . As one who patiently humours the headstrong,
wilful White Man, he went away to carry on the foolish struggle.
. . .”
“What was it like in the morning?” enquired
Bertram, as Hall paused reminiscent, and chewed the cud of bitter
memory.
“Have you seen a long-sodden boot-sole that is resolving
itself into its original layers and laminæ?” asked
Hall. “Where there should be one solid sole, you see
a dozen, and the thing gapes, as it were, showing serried rows of
teeth in the shape of rusty nails and little protuberances of
leather and thread?”
“Yes,” smiled Bertram.
“That was my biscuit,” continued Hall.
“At the corners it gasped and split. Between the
layers little lumps and points stood up, where the original
biscuit holes had been made when the dreadful thing was without form, and
void, in the process of evolution from cement-like dough to
brick-like biscuit. . . .”
“Could you eat it?” asked Bertram.
“Could you eat a boiled boot-sole?” was the
reply. “The thing had turned from dry concrete to wet
leather. . . . It had exchanged the extreme of brittle
durability for that of pliant toughness. . . . Eat
it!” and Hall laughed sardonically.
“What becomes of them all, then, if no one eats
them?” asked Bertram.
“Oh—they have their uses, y’ know.
Boxes of them make a jolly good breastwork. . . The Army
Service Corps are provided with work—taking them by the ton
from place to place and fetching them back again. . . . I
reveted a trench with biscuits once. . . . Looked very
neat. . . . Lonely soldiers, in lonely outposts, do GOD
BLESS OUR HOME and other devices with them—and you can
make really attractive little photo-frames for
‘midgets’ and miniature with them if you have a
centre-bit and carving tools. . . The handy-men of the R.E.
make awf’ly nice boxes of children’s
toy-building-bricks with them, besides carved plaques and
all sorts of little models. . . . I heard of a prisoner who
made a complete steam-engine out of biscuits, but I never saw it
myself. . . . Oh, yes, the Army would miss its
biscuits—but I certainly never saw anybody eat one. . .
.”
Nor did Bertram, throughout the campaign. And here again
it occurred to his foolish civilian mind that if the thousands of
pounds spent on wholly and utterly inedible dog-biscuit had been
spent on the ordinary biscuits of civilisation and the
grocer’s shop, sick and weary soldiers, working and
suffering for their country in a terrible climate, might have had
a sufficiency of food that they could have eaten with pleasure
and digested with benefit, without costing their grateful country
a penny more.
“Which would be the better,” asked Bertram of
himself—“to send an army ten tons of
‘biscuit’ that it cannot eat, or one ton of real
biscuit that it can eat and enjoy?”
But, as an ignorant, simple, and silly civilian, he must be
excused. . . .
Dessert followed, in the shape of unripe bananas, and Bertram
left the table with a cupful of thin soup, a small piece of
cheese, and half a crisp, but pithy and acidulous banana beneath
his belt. As the Colonel left the hut he hurried after
him.
“If you please, sir,” said he, “may I
go out with the force that is to attack the German post
to-morrow?”
Having acted on impulse and uttered the fatal words, he
regretted the fact. Why should he be such a silly fool as
to seek sorrow like this? Wasn’t there danger and
risk and hardship enough—without going out to look for
it?
“In what capacity?” asked Colonel Rock, and added:
“Hall is in command, and Stanner is his
subaltern.”
“As a spectator, sir,” said Bertram, “and I
might—er—be useful
perhaps—er—if—”
“Spectator!” mused the Colonel.
“Bright idea! We might all go, of course. . .
. Two hundred men go out on the job, and a couple of
thousand go with ’em to whoop ’em on and clap,
what? Excellent notion. . . . Wonder if we could
arrange a ‘gate,’ and give the gate-money to the Red
Cross, or start a Goose Club or something. . .” and he
turned to go into his tent.
Bertram was not certain as to whether this reply was in the
nature of a refusal of his request. He hoped it was.
“May I go, sir?” he said.
“You may not,” replied the Colonel, and Bertram
felt very disappointed.
That night Bertram was again unable to sleep. Lying
awake on his hard and narrow bed, faint for want of food, and
sick with the horrible stench of the swamp, his mind revolved
continually round the problem of how to “personally
conduct” a convoy of a thousand porters through twenty
miles of enemy country in such a way that it might have a chance
if attacked. After tossing and turning for hours and vainly
wooing sleep, he lay considering the details of a scheme by which
the armed escort should, as it were, circulate round and round
from head to tail of the convoy by a process which left ten of
the advance-guard to occupy every tributary turning that joined
the path and to wait at the junction of the two paths until the
whole convoy had passed and the rear-guard had arrived. The
ten would then join the rear-guard and march on
with them. By the time this had been repeated sufficiently
often to deplete the advance-guard, the convoy should halt while
the bulk of the rear-guard marched up to the head of the column
again and so da capo. It would want a lot of
explaining to whoever was in command of the rear-guard, for it
would be impossible for him, himself, to struggle up and down a
line miles long—a line to which anything might happen, at
any point, at any moment. . . . He could make it clear that
at any turning he would detail ten men from the advance-guard,
and then, when fifty had been withdrawn for this flanking work,
he would halt the column so that the officer commanding the
rear-guard could send fifty back. . . . Ten to one the fool
would bungle it, and he might sit and await the return of the
fifty until the crack of doom, or until he went back and fetched
them up himself. And as soon as he had quitted the head of
the column there would be an attack on it! . . .
Yes—or perhaps the ass in command of the ten placed to
guard the side-turnings would omit to join the rear-guard as it
passed—and he’d roll up at his destination, with a
few score men short. . . . What would be done to him if
he—
Bang! . . .
Bertram’s heart seemed to leap out of his body and then
to stand still. His bones seemed to turn to water, and his
tongue to leather. Had a shell burst beneath his bed? . .
. Was he soaring in the air? . . . Had a great mine
exploded beneath the Camp, and was the M’paga Field Force
annihilated? . . . Captain Hall sat up, yawned, put his
hand out from beneath the mosquito curtain of his camp-bed and
flashed his electric torch at a small alarm-clock that stood on a
box within reach.
“What was that explosion?” said Bertram as soon as
he could speak.
“Three-thirty,” yawned Hall. “Might as
well get up, I s’pose. . . . Wha’? . . .
’Splosion? . . . Some fool popped his rifle off at
nothing, I sh’d say. . . . Blast him! Woke me
up. . .”
“It’s not an attack, then?” said Bertram,
mightily relieved. “It sounded as though it were
right close outside the hut. . . .”
“Well—you don’t attack with one rifle
shot—nor beat off an attack with none. I
don’t, at least,” replied Hall. . . “Just
outside, was it?” he added as he arose.
“Funny! There’s no picket or sentry
there. You must have been dreaming, my lad.”
“I was wide awake before it happened,” said
Bertram. “I’ve been awake all night. . .
. It was so close, I—I thought I was blown to bits. .
. .”
“’Oo wouldn’ sell ’is liddle farm
an’ go ter War,” remarked Hall in Tommy vein.
“It’s a wearin’ life, being blowed outer yer
bed at ar’ pars free of a mornin’, ain’t it,
guv’nor?”
A deep and hollow groan, apparently from beneath
Bertram’s bed, almost froze that young gentleman’s
blood.
Pulling on his slippers and turning on his electric torch,
Hall dashed out of the hut. Bertram heard him exclaim,
swear, and ask questions in Hindustani. He was joined by
others, and the group moved away. . . .
“Bright lad nearly blown his hand off,” said Hall,
re-entering the hut and lighting a candle-lamp. “Says
he was cleaning his rifle. . . .”
“Do you clean a rifle while it is loaded, and also put
one hand over the muzzle and the other on the trigger while you
do it?” asked Bertram.
“I don’t, personally,” replied
Captain Hall, shortly. He was loath to admit that this
disgrace to the regiment had intentionally incapacitated himself
from active service, though it was fairly obvious.
“I wish he’d gone somewhere else to clean his
rifle,” said Bertram. “I believe the thing was
pointed straight at my ear. I tell you—I felt as
though a shell had burst in the hut.”
“Bullet probably came through here,” observed Hall
nonchalantly as he laced his boots. (Later Bertram
discovered that it had actually cut one of the four sticks that
supported his mosquito curtain, and had torn the muslin
thereof.)
Sleep being out of the question, Bertram decided that he might
as well arise and watch the setting-forth of the little
expedition.
“Going to get up and see you off the premises,”
said he.
“Stout fella,” replied Hall. “I love
enthusiasm—but it’ll wear off. . . . The
day’ll come, and before long, when you wouldn’t get
out of bed to see your father shot at dawn. . . . Not
unless you were in orders to command the firing-party, of
course,” he added. . .
Bertram dressed, feeling weak, ill and unhappy. . . .
“Am I coming in, sah, thank you?” said a
well-known voice at the doorless doorway of the hut.
“Hope so,” replied Bertram, “if
that’s tea you’ve got.”
It was. In a large enamel “tumbler” was a
pint of glorious hot tea, strong, sweet and scalding.
“Useful bird, that,” observed Hall, after
declining to share the tea, as he was having breakfast at four
o’clock over in the Mess. “I s’pose you
hadn’t ordered tea at three forty-five, had you?”
Bertram admitted that he had not, and concealed the horrid
doubt that arose in his mind—born of memories of Sergeant
Jones’s tea at Kilindini—as to whether he was not
drinking, under Hall’s very nose, the tea that should have
graced Hall’s breakfast, due to be on the table in the Mess
at that moment. . . .
If Captain Hall found his tea unduly dilute he did not mention
the fact when Bertram came over to the Mess banda, and sat
yawning and watching him—the man who could nonchalantly sit
and shovel horrid-looking porridge into his mouth at four a.m.,
and talk idly on indifferent subjects, a few minutes before
setting out to make a march in the darkness to an attack at dawn.
. . .
Ill and miserable as he felt, Bertram forgot everything in the
thrilling interest of watching the assembly and departure of the
little force. Out of the black darkness little detachments
appeared, sometimes silhouetted against the red background of
cooking fires, and marched along the main thoroughfare of the
Camp to the place of assembly at the quarter-guard.
Punctual to the minute, the column was ready to march off, as
Captain Hall strolled up, apparently as unconcerned as if he were
in some boring peace manœuvres, or about to ride to a meet,
instead of to make a cross-country night march, by compass,
through an African jungle-swamp to an attack at dawn, with the
responsibility of the lives of a couple of hundred men upon his
shoulders, as well as that of making a successful move on the
chess-board of the campaign. . . .
At the head of the column were a hundred Sepoys of the Hundred
and Ninety-Eighth, under Stanner. In the light of the
candle-lantern which he had brought from the banda,
Bertram scrutinised their faces. They were Mussulmans, and
looked determined, hardy men and fine soldiers. Some few
looked happily excited, some ferocious, but the prevailing
expression was one of weary depression and patient misery.
Very many looked ill, and here and there he saw a sullen and
resentful face. On the whole, he gathered the impression of
a force that would march where it was led and would fight bravely,
venting on the foe its anger and resentment at his being the
cause of their sojourning in a stinking swamp to rot of malaria
and dysentery.
How was Stanner feeling, Bertram wondered. He was
evidently feeling extremely nervous, and made no secret of it
when Bertram approached and addressed him. He was anything
but afraid, but he was highly excited. His teeth chattered
as he spoke, and his hand shook when he lit a cigarette.
“Gad! I should hate to get one of their beastly
expanding bullets in my stomach,” said he.
“They fire a brute of a big-bore slug with a flat
nose. Bad as an explosive bullet, the swine,” and he
shuddered violently. “Stomach’s the only part I
worry about, and I don’t give a damn for bayonets. . .
. But a bullet through your stomach! You live for
weeks. . . .”
Bertram felt distinctly glad to discover that a trained
regular officer, like Stanner, could entertain these sensations
of nervous excitement, and that he himself had no monopoly of
them. He even thought, with a thrill of hope and
confidence, that when his turn came he would be less nervous than
Stanner. He knew that Stanner was not frightened, and that
he did not wish he was snug in bed as his brother-officers were,
but he also knew that Bertram Greene would not be frightened, and
hoped and believed he would not be so palpably excited and
nervous. . . .
Behind the detachment of the Hundred and Ninety-Eighth came a
machine-gun team of askaris of the King’s African
Rifles, in charge of a gigantic Sergeant. The dismounted
gun and the ammunition-boxes were on the heads of Swahili
porters.
Bertram liked the look of the Sergeant. He was a picture
of quiet competence, reliability and determination.
Although a full-blooded Swahili, his face was not unhandsome in a
fierce, bold, and vigorously purposeful way, and though he had
the flattened, wide-nostrilled nose of the negro, his mouth was
Arab, thin-lipped and clear cut as Bertram’s own.
There was nothing bovine, childish nor wandering in his regard,
but a look of frowning thoughtfulness, intentness and
concentration.
And Sergeant Simba was what he looked, every inch a soldier,
and a fine honourable fighting-man, brave as the lion he was
named after; a subordinate who would obey and follow his white
officer to certain death, without question or wavering; a leader
who would carry his men with him by force of his personality, courage and
leadership, while he could move and they could follow. . .
. Beside Sergeant Simba, the average German soldier is a
cur, a barbarian, and a filthy brute, for never in all the twenty
years of his “savage” warfare has Sergeant Simba
butchered a child, tortured a woman, murdered wounded enemies,
abused (nor used) the white flag, fired on the Red Cross, turned
captured dwelling-places into pig-styes and latrines in
demonstration of his kultur—nor, when caught and
cornered, has he waggled dirty hands about cunning, cowardly head
with squeal of Kamerad! Kamerad! . . .
Could William the Kultured but have officered his armies with a
hundred thousand of Sergeant Simba, instead of with his
high-well-born Junkers, the Great War might have been a
gentleman’s war, a clean war, and the word German
might not have become an epithet for all time, nor the
“noble and knightly” sons of ancient houses have
received commissions as Second Nozzle-Holder in the Poison-Gas
Grenadiers, Sub Tap-Turner in a Fire-Squirting Squadron, or Ober
Left-behind to Poison Wells in the Prussic (Acid) Guard. . .
.
As Bertram watched this sturdy-looking Maxim-gun section, with
their imperturbable, inscrutable faces, an officer of the
King’s African Rifles emerged from the circumambient gloom
and spoke with Sergeant Simba in Swahili. As he departed,
after giving his orders and a few words of advice to Sergeant
Simba, he raised his lantern to the face of the man in charge of
the porters who carried the gun and ammunition. The
man’s face was instantly wreathed in smiles, and he giggled
like a little girl. The officer dug him affectionately in
the ribs, as one smacks a horse on dismounting after a long run
and a clean kill, and the giggle became a cackle of elfin
laughter most incongruous. Evidently the man was the
officer’s pet butt and prize fool.
“Cartouchie n’gapi?” asked the
officer.
“Hundrem millium, Bwana,” replied the man,
and as the officer turned away with a laugh, Bertram correctly
surmised that on being asked how many cartridges he had got, the
man had replied that he possessed a hundred million.
Probably he spoke in round numbers, and used the only English
words he knew. . . . The African does not deal in larger
quantities than ten-at-a-time, and his estimates are vague, and
still more vague is his expression of them. He will tell
you that a place is “several nights distant,” or
perhaps that it is “a few rivers away.” It is only
just, however, to state that he will cheerfully accept an equal
vagueness in return, and will go to your tent with the alacrity
of clear understanding and definite purpose, if you say to him:
“Run quickly to my tent and bring me the thing I
want. You will easily distinguish it, as it is of about the
colour of a flower, the size of a piece of wood, the shape of
elephant’s breath, and the weight of water.
You know—it’s as long as some string and
exactly the height of some stones. You’ll find it
about as heavy as a dead bird or a load on the conscience.
That thing that looks like a smell and feels like a sound. . .
.” He may bring your gun, your tobacco-pouch, your
pyjamas, your toothbrush, or one slipper, but he will bring
something, and that without hesitation or delay, for he
immediately and clearly grasped that that particular thing, and
none other, was what you wanted. He recognised it from your
clear and careful description. It was not as though you had
idly and carelessly said: “Bring me my hat” (or my
knife or the matches or some other article that he handled
daily), and left him to make up his mind, unaided, as to whether
you did not really mean trousers, a book, washhand-stand, or the
pens, ink, and paper of the gardener’s aunt. . . .
Behind the Swahili was a half-company of Gurkhas of the
Kashmir Imperial Service Troops. As they stood at ease and
chatted to each other, they reminded Bertram of a class of
schoolboys waiting to be taken upon some highly pleasurable
outing. There was an air of cheerful excitement and joyous
expectancy.
“Salaam, Subedar Sahib,” said
Bertram, as the fierce hard face of his little friend came within
the radius of the beams of his lantern.
“Salaam, Sahib,” replied the Gurkha
officer, “Sahib ata hai?” he asked.
“Nahin,” replied Bertram.
“Hamara Colonel Sahib hamko hookum dea ki
‘Mut jao,’” and the Subedar gathered
that Bertram’s Colonel had forbidden him to go. He
commiserated with the young Sahib, said it was bad luck, but
doubtless the Colonel Sahib in his wisdom had reserved him for
far greater things.
As he strolled along their flank, Bertram received many a
cheery grin of recognition and many a “Salaam,
Sahib,” from the friendly and lovable little hill-men.
In their rear, Bertram saw, with a momentary feeling that was
something like the touch of a chill hand upon his
heart, a party of Swahili stretcher-bearers, under an Indian of
the Subordinate Medical Department, who bore, slung by a
crossbelt across his body, a large satchel of dressings and
simple surgical appliances. . . . Would these
stretcher-bearers come back laden—sodden and dripping with
the life-blood of men now standing near them in full health and
strength and vigour of lusty life? Perhaps this fine
Sergeant, perhaps the Subedar-Major of the Gurkhas?
Stanner? Hall? . . .
Suddenly the column was in motion and passing through the
entrance by which Bertram had come into the Camp—was it a
month ago or only yesterday?
Without disobeying the Colonel, he might perhaps go with the
column as far as the river? There was a water-picket there
permanently. If he did not go beyond the picket-line, it
could not be held that he had “gone out” with the
force in face of the C.O.’s prohibition.
Along the narrow lane or tunnel which wound through the
impenetrable jungle of elephant-grass, acacia scrub, live oak,
baobab, palm, thorn, creeper, and undergrowth, the column marched
to the torrential little river, thirty or forty yards wide, that
swirled brown, oily, and ugly, between its reed-beds of sucking
mud. Here the column halted while Hall and Stanner, lantern
in hand, felt their slow and stumbling way from log to log of the
rough and unrailed bridge that spanned the stream. On the
far side Hall waited with raised lantern, and in the middle
stayed Stanner and bade the men cross in single file, the while
he vainly endeavoured to illuminate each log and the treacherous
gap beside it. Before long the little force had crossed
without loss—(and to fall through into that deep, swift
stream in the darkness with accoutrements and a hundred rounds of
ammunition was to be lost for ever)—and in a minute had
disappeared into the darkness, swallowed up and lost to sight and
hearing, as though it had never passed that way. . . .
Bertram turned back to Camp and came face to face with Major
Manton.
“Morning, Greene,” said he. “Been to
see ’em off? Stout fella.” And Bertram
felt as pleased and proud as if he had won a decoration. . .
.
The day dawned grey, cheerless and threatening over a landscape
as grey, cheerless and threatening as the day. The silent,
menacing jungle, the loathsome stench of the surrounding swamp,
the heavy, louring sky, the moist, suffocating heat; the sense of
lurking, threatening danger from savage man, beast and reptile,
insect and microbe; the feeling of utter homelessness and rough
discomfort, combined to oppress, discourage and disturb. . .
.
Breakfast, eaten in silence in the Mess banda,
consisted of porridge that required long and careful mastication
by any who valued his digestion; pieces of meat of dull black
surface and bright pink interior, also requiring long and careful
mastication by all who were not too wearied by the porridge
drill; and bread.
The bread was of interest—equally to the geologist, the
zoologist, the physiologist, the chemist, and the merely
curious. To the dispassionate eye, viewing it without
prejudice or partiality, the loaf looked like an oblate spheroid
of sandstone—say the Old Red Sandstone in which the curious
may pick up a mammoth, aurochs, sabre-toothed tiger, or similar
ornament of their little world and fleeting day—and to the
passionate hand hacking with prejudice and partiality (for
crumb, perhaps), it also felt like it. It was Army Bread,
and quite probably made since the outbreak of the war. The
geologist, wise in Eras—Paleolithic,
Pliocene, Eocene, May-have-been—felt
its challenge at once. To the zoologist there was immediate
appeal when, by means of some sharp or heavy tool, the outer
crust had been broken. For that interior was honey-combed
with large, shiny-walled cells, and every cell was filled with a
strange web-like kind of cocoon of finest filaments, now grey,
now green, to which adhered tiny black specks. Were these,
asked the zoologist, the eggs of insects, and, if so, of what
insects? Were they laid before the loaf petrified, or
after? If before, had the burning process in the kiln
affected them? If after, how did the insect get
inside? Or were they possibly of vegetable
origin—something of a fungoid nature—or even on that
strange borderland ’twixt animal and vegetable where roam
the yeasty microbe and boisterous bacillus? Perhaps, after
all, it was neither animal nor vegetable, but mineral? . .
. So ponders the geologist who incurs Army Bread in the
wilds of the earth.
The physiologist merely wonders once again at the marvels of
the human organism, that man can swallow such things and live;
while the chemist secretes a splinter or two, that he may make a
qualitative and quantitative analysis of this new,
compound, if haply he survive to return to his laboratory.
To the merely curious it is merely curious—until he
essays to eat it—and then his utterance may not be merely
precious. . . .
After this merry meal, Bertram approached the Colonel,
saluted, and said:
“Colonel Frost, of the Hundred and Ninety-Ninth, ordered
me to be sure to request you to return his nine cooking-pots at
your very earliest convenience, sir, if you please.”
Colonel Rock smiled brightly upon Bertram.
“He always was a man who liked his little joke,”
said he. . . . “Remind me to send
him—”
“Yes, sir,” interrupted Bertram, involuntarily, so
pleased was he to think that the Pots of Contention were to be
returned after all.
“. . . A Christmas-card—will you?” finished
Colonel Rock.
Bertram’s face fell. He thought he could hear,
afar off, the ominous sound of the grinding of the mill-stones,
between the upper and the nether of which he would be ground
exceeding small. . . . Would Colonel Frost send him a
telegram? What would Colonel Rock say if he took it to
him? Could he pretend that he had never received it.
Base thought! If he received one every day? . . .
Suppose he were wounded. Could he pretend that his mind
and memory were affected—loss of memory, loss of identity,
loss of cooking-pots? . . .
“By the way,” said the Colonel, as Bertram saluted
to depart, “you’ll leave here to-morrow morning with
a thousand porters, taking rations and ammunition to
Butindi. You will take the draft from the Hundred and
Ninety-Ninth as escort, and report to Major Mallery there.
Don’t go and get scuppered, or it’ll be bad for them
up at Butindi. . . . Start about five. Lieutenant
Bridges, of the Coolie Corps, will give you a guide.
He’s been up there. . . . Better see Captain Brent
about it to-night. He’ll hand over the thousand
porters in good condition in the morning. . . . The A.S.C.
people will make a separate dump of the stuff you are to take. .
. . Make sure about it, so that you don’t pinch the
wrong stuff, and turn up at Butindi with ten tons of Number Nine
pills and other medical comforts. . . .”
Bertram’s heart sank within him, but he strove to
achieve a look that blent pleasure, firmness, comprehension, and
wide experience of convoy-work into one attractive whole.
Wending his way to his banda, Bertram found Ali Suleiman
making work for himself and doing it.
“I am going to Butindi at five to-morrow morning,”
he announced. “Have you ever been that
way?”
“Oh, yes, sah, please God, thank you,” replied
Ali. “I was gun-bearer to a bwana, one
’Mericani gentlyman wanting to shoot sable
antelope—very rare inseck—but a lion running up and
bite him instead, and shocking climate cause him great loss of
life.”
“Then you could be guide,” interrupted Bertram,
“and show me the way to Butindi?”
“Yes, sah,” replied Ali, “can show
Bwana everythings. . . . Bwana taking much
quinine and other n’dawa [133a] there though. Shocking climate
causing Bwana bad homa, bad fever, and perhaps
great loss of life also. . . .”
“D’you get fever ever?” asked Bertram.
“Sometimes, sah, but have never had loss of life,”
was the reassuring answer. . . .
That morning and afternoon Bertram spent in watching the work
of the Camp, as he had no duties of his own, and towards evening
learnt of the approach of the expedition of the morning. . .
.
The column marched along with a swing, evidently pleased with
itself, particularly the Swahili detachment, who chanted a song
consisting of one verse which contained but one line.
“Macouba Simba na piga mazungo,” [133b] they sang with wearying but unwearied
regularity and monotony. At their head marched Sergeant
Simba, looking as fresh as when he started, and more like a
blackened European than a negro.
The Subedar and his Gurkhas had been left to garrison the
outpost, but a few had returned on the stretchers of the medical
detachment.
Bertram, with sinking heart and sick feelings of horror,
watched these blood-stained biers, with their apparently lifeless
burdens, file over the bridge, and held his breath whenever a
stretcher-bearer stumbled on the greasy logs.
As the last couple safely crossed the bridge and laid their
dripping stretcher down for a moment, the occupant, a Gurkha
rifleman, suddenly sat up and looked round. His face was corpse-like, and his uniform looked as though it had
just been dipped in a bath of blood. Painfully he rose to
his feet, while the Swahili bearers gaped in amazement, and
tottered slowly forward. Reeling like a drunken man, he
followed in the wake of the disappearing procession, until he
fell. Picking up the empty stretcher, the bearers hurried
to where he lay—only to be waved away by the wounded man,
who again arose and reeled, staggering, along the path.
Bertram met him and caught his arm as he collapsed once
more.
“Subr karo,” said Bertram, summoning up
some Hindustani of a sort. “Stretcher men
baitho.” [134a]
“Nahin, Sahib,” whispered the
Gurkha; “kuch nahin hai.” [134b] He evidently understood and
spoke a little of the same kind. No. It was
nothing. Only seven holes from Maxim-gun fire, that had
riddled him as the German N.C.O. sprayed the charging line until
a kukri halved his skull. . . . It was nothing. . .
. No—it would take more than a Germani and his
woolly-haired askaris to put Rifleman Thappa Sannu on a
stretcher. . . .
Bertram’s hand seemed as though it were holding a wet
sponge. He felt sick, and dreaded the moment when he must
look at it and see it reeking red.
“Mirhbani, Sahib,” whispered the man
again. “Kuch nahin hai. Hamko mut
pukkaro.” [134c]
He lurched free, stumbled forward a dozen yards, and fell
again.
There was no difficulty about placing him upon the stretcher
this time, and he made no remonstrance, as he was dead.
Bertram went to his banda, sat on the edge of his bed,
and wrestled manfully with himself.
By the time Hall had made his report to the Colonel and come
to the hut for a wash and rest, Bertram had conquered his desire
to be very sick, swallowed the lump in his throat, relieved the
stinging in his eyes, and contrived to look and behave as though
he had not just had one of the most poignant and disturbing
experiences of his life. . . .
“Ripping little show,” said Captain Hall, as he
prepared for a bath and change. “The Gurkhas did in their
pickets without a sound. Gad! They can handle those
kukris of theirs to some purpose. Sentry on a mound
in the outpost pooped off for some reason. They must just
have been doing their morning Stand-to. . . . All four
sides of the post opened fire, and we were only attacking on one.
. . . They’d got a Maxim at each corner. . . .
Too late, though. One hurroosh of a rush before they knew
anything, and we were in the boma with the bayonet.
Most of them bunked over the other side. . . . Got three
white men, though. A Gurkha laid one out—on the
Maxim, he was—and the Sergeant of the Swahilis fairly
spitted another with his bayonet. . . . Third one got in
the way of my revolver. . . I don’t s’pose the
whole thing lasted five minutes from the time their sentry fired.
. . . The Hundred and Ninety-Eighth were fine. Lost
our best Havildar, though. He’d have been Jemadar if
he’d lived. He was leading a rush of his section in
fine style, when he ‘copped a packet.’ Stopped
one badly. Clean through the neck. One o’ those
beastly soft-nosed slugs the swine give their askaris for
‘savage’ warfare. . . . As if a German knew of
any other kind. . . .”
“Many casualties?” asked Bertram, trying to speak
lightly.
“No—very few. Only eleven killed and seven
wounded. Wasn’t time for more. Shouldn’t
have had that much, only the blighter with the Maxim was nippy
enough to get going with it while we charged over about forty
yards from cover. The Gurkhas jumped the ditch like
greyhounds and over the parapet of the inner trench like birds. .
. . You should ha’ been there. . . .
They never had a chance. . . .”
“Yes,” said Bertram, and tried to visualise that
rush at the belching Maxim.
“Didn’t think much of their
bundobust,” continued Hall. “Their
pickets were pretty well asleep and the place hadn’t got a
yard of barbed wire nor even a row of stakes. They
hadn’t a field of fire of more than fifty yards anywhere. .
. . Bit provincial, what? . . .”
While Hall bathed, Bertram went in search of Captain Brent of
the Coolie Corps.
Dinner that night was a vain repetition of yesterday’s,
save that there was more soup and cold bully-beef gravy
available, owing to the rain.
The
roof of the banda consisting of lightly thatched grass,
reeds, twigs, and leaves, was as a sieve beneath the tropical
downpour. There was nothing to do but to bear it, with or
without grinning. Heavy drops in rapid succession pattered
on bare heads, resounded on the tin plates, splashed into food,
and, by constant dropping, wore away tempers. By comparison
with the great heat of the weather, the rain seemed cold, and the
little streams that cascaded down from pendent twig or reed were
unwelcome as they invaded the back of the neck of some depressed
diner below.
A most unpleasant looking snake, dislodged or disturbed by the
rain, fell with sudden thud upon the table from his lodging in
the roof. Barely had it done so when it was skewered to the
boards by the fork of Captain Tollward. “Good
man,” said Major Manton, and decapitated the reptile with
his knife.
“Just as well to put him out of pain,” said he
coolly; “it’s a mamba. Beastly
poisonous,” and the still-writhing snake was removed with
the knife and fork that had carved him. “Lucky I got
him in the neck,” observed Tollward, and the matter
dropped.
Bertram wondered what he would have done had a small and
highly poisonous serpent suddenly flopped down with a thump in
front of his plate. Squealed like a girl perhaps?
Before long he was sitting huddled up beneath a perfect
shower-bath of cold drops, with his feet in an oozy bog which
soon became a pool and then a stream, and by the end of
“dinner” was a torrent that gurgled in at one end of
the Mess banda, and foamed out at the other. In this
filthy water the Mess servants paddled to and fro, becoming more
and more suggestive of drowned birds, while the yellowish
khaki-drill of their masters turned almost black as it grew more
sodden. One by one the lamps used by the cook and servants
went out. That in the banda went out too, and the
Colonel, who owned a tent, followed its example. Those
officers who had only huts saw no advantage in retiring to them,
and sat on in stolid misery, endeavouring to keep cigarettes
alight by holding them under the table between hasty puffs.
Having sat—as usual—eagerly listening to the
conversation of his seniors—until the damp and depressed
party broke up, Bertram splashed across to his banda to
find that the excellent Ali had completely covered his bed with
his water-proof ground-sheet, had put his pyjamas and a change of
underclothing into the bed and the rest of his kit under
it. He had also dug a small trench and drain round the hut,
so that the interior was merely a bog instead of a pool. . .
.
Bertram then faced the problem of how to undress while
standing in mud beneath a shower-bath, in such a manner as to be
able to get into bed reasonably dry and with the minimum of mud
upon the feet. . . .
As he lay sick and hungry, cold and miserable, with apparently
high promise of fever and colic, listening to the pattering of
heavy drops of water within the hut, and the beating of rain upon
the sea of mud and water without, and realised that on the morrow
he was to undertake his first really dangerous and responsible
military duty, his heart sank. . . . Who was he to
be in sole charge of a convoy upon whose safe arrival the
existence of an outpost depended? What a fool he had
been to come! Why should he be lying there half
starving in that bestial swamp, shivering with fever, and feeling
as though he had a very dead cat and a very live one in his
stomach? . . . Raising his head from the
pillow, he said aloud: “I would not be elsewhere for
anything in the world. . . .”
When Bertram was awakened by Ali at four o’clock the
next morning, he feared he would be unable to get up. Had
he been at home, he would have remained in bed and sent for the
doctor. His head felt like lead, every bone in his body
ached, and he had that horrible sense of internal malaise,
than which few feelings are more discouraging, distressing and
enervating.
The morning smelt horrible, and, by the light of the
candle-lamp, the floor was seen to have resigned in favour of the
flood. Another problem: Could a fair-sized man dress
himself on a tiny camp-bed beneath a small mosquito
curtain? If not, he must get out of bed into the water, and
paddle around in that slimy ooze which it hid from the eye but
not from the nose. Subsidiary problem: Could a man step straight
into a pair of wet boots, so as to avoid putting bare feet into
the mud, and then withdraw alternate feet from them, for the
removal of pyjamas and the putting-on of shorts and socks, while
the booted foot remained firmly planted in the slush for his
support?
Or again: Sitting precariously on the edge of a canvas bed,
could an agile person, with bare feet coyly withdrawn from
contact with the foulness beneath, garb his nether limbs to the
extent that permitted the pulling-on of boots? . . .
He could try anyhow. . . . After much groping and
fumbling, Bertram pulled on his socks and shorts, and then, still
lying on his bed, reached for his boots. These he had left
standing on a dry patch beneath his bed, and now saw standing,
with the rest of his kit, in a couple of inches of filthy
water. Balancing himself on the sagging edge of the strip
of canvas that served as bed-laths, palliasse and mattress, he
struggled into the resisting and reluctant boots, and then boldly
entered the water, pleased with the tactics that had saved him
from touching it before he was shod. . . . It was not until
he had retrieved his sodden puttees and commenced to put them on,
that he realised that he was still wearing the trousers of his
pyjamas!
And then it was that Bertram, for the first time in his life,
furiously swore—long and loud and heartily. Let those
who say in defence of War that it rouses man’s nobler
instincts and brings out all that is best in him, note this
deplorable fact.
Could he keep them on, or must he remove those clinging,
squelching boots and partially undress again?
Striped blue and green pyjamas, showing for six inches between
his shorts and his puttees, would add a distinctly novel touch to
the uniform of a British officer. . . . No. It could
not be done. Ill as he felt, and deeply as he loathed the
idea of wrestling with the knots in the sodden boot-laces of
those awful boots, he must do it—in spite of trembling
hands, swimming head, and an almost unconquerable desire to lie
down again.
And then—alas! for the moral maxims of the copy-books,
the wise saws and modern instances of the didactic
virtuous—sheer bad temper came to his assistance.
With ferocious condemnations of everything, he cut his
boot-laces, flung his boots into the water, splashed about
violently in his socks, as he tore off the offending garments and
hurled them after the boots, and then completed his dressing with as
little regard to water, mud, slime, filth, and clay as though he
were standing on the carpet of his dressing-room in England.
“I’m fed up!” quoth he, and barged
out of the banda in a frame of mind that put the Fear of
God and Second-Lieutenant Bertram Greene into all who crossed his
path. . . . (Cupid forsooth!)
The first was Ali Suleiman, who stood waiting in the rain,
until he could go in and pack his master’s kit.
“Here—you—pack my kit sharp, and don’t
stand there gaping like a fish in a frying-pan. Stir
yourself before I stir you,” he shouted.
The faithful Ali dived into the banda like a rabbit
into its hole. Excellent! This was the sort of
bwana he could reverence. Almost had he been
persuaded that this new master was not a real gentleman—he
was so gentle. . . .
Bertram turned back again, but not to apologise for his harsh
words, as his better nature prompted him to do.
“Where’s my breakfast, you lazy rascal?” he
shouted.
“On the table in Mess banda, please God, thank
you, sah,” replied Ali Suleiman humbly, as one who prays
that his grievous trespasses may be forgotten.
“Then why couldn’t you say so,
you—you—you—” and here memories of the
Naval Officer stole across his subconsciousness, “you
blundering burden, you posthumous porridge-punter, you myopic
megalomaniac, you pernicious, piebald pacifist. . . .”
Ali Suleiman rolled his eyes and nodded his head with every
epithet.
“Oh, my God, sah,” said he, as Bertram paused for
breath, “I am a dam man mos’ blasted
sinful”—and, so ridiculous a thing is temper, that
Bertram neither laughed nor saw cause for laughter.
Splashing across to the Mess banda, he discovered a
battered metal teapot, an enamelled tumbler, an almost empty tin
of condensed milk, and a tin plate of very sad-looking
porridge. By the light of a lamp that appealed more to the
olfactory and auditory senses than to the optic, he removed from
the stodgy mess the well-developed leg of some insect unknown,
and then tasted it—(the porridge, not the leg).
“Filthy muck,” he remarked aloud.
“Sahib calling me, sir?” said a voice that made
him jump, and the Cook’s Understudy, a Goanese youth, stepped
into the circle of light—or of lesser gloom.
“Very natural you should have thought so,”
answered Bertram. “I said Filthy
Muck.”
“Yessir,” replied the acting deputy assistant
adjutant cooklet, proudly, “I am cooking breakfast for the
Sahib.”
“You cooked this?” growled Bertram, and
half rose, with so menacing an expression and wild an eye that
the guilty fled, making a note that this was a Sahib to be
properly served in future, and not, as he had foolishly thought
him, a poor polite soul for whom anything was good enough. . .
.
Pushing the burnt and nauseating horror from him, Bertram
essayed to pour out tea, only to find that the fluid was readily
procurable from anywhere but the spout. A teapot that will
not “pour out” freely is an annoyance at the best of
times, and to the most placid of souls. (The fact that tea
through the lid is as good as tea through the spout is more than
counter-balanced by the fact that tea in the cup is better than
tea on the table-cloth. And it is a very difficult art,
only to be acquired by patient practice, to pour tea into the cup
and the cup alone, from the top of a spout-bunged teapot.
Try it.)
Bertram’s had temper waxed and deepened.
“Curse the thing!” he swore, and banged the
offending pot on the table, and, forgetting his nice
table-manners, blew violently down the spout. This sent a
wave of tea over his head and scalded him, and there the didactic
virtuous, and the copy-book maxims, scored.
Sorely tempted to call to the cooklet in honeyed tones, decoy
him near with fair-seeming smiles, with friendly gestures, and
then to fling the thing at his head, he essayed to pour
again.
A trickle, a gurgle, a spurt, a round gush of tea—and
the pale wan skeletal remnants of a once lusty cockroach, sodden
and soft, leapt into the cup. Swirling round and round, it
seemed giddily to explore its new unresting-place, triumphant, as
though chanting, with the Ancient Mariner, some such pæan
as
“I was the first that ever burst
Into this silent tea. . . .”
Heaven alone knew to how many cups of tea that disintegrating
corpse had contributed of its best before the gusts of
Bertram’s temper had contributed to its dislodgment.
(Temper seems to have scored a point here, it must be
reluctantly confessed.)
Bertram arose and plunged forth into the darkness, not daring
to trust himself to call the cook.
Raising his clenched hands in speechless wrath, he drew in his
breath through his clenched teeth—and then slipped with
catastrophic suddenness on a patch of slimy clay and sat down
heavily in very cold water.
He arose a distinctly dangerous person. . . .
Near the ration-dump squatted a solid square of naked black
men, not precisely savages, raw shenzis of the jungle, but
something between these and the Swahilis who work as personal
servants, gun-bearers, and the better class of safari
porters. They were big men and looked strong. They
smelt stronger. It was a perfectly indescribable odour,
like nothing on earth, and to be encountered nowhere else on
earth—save in the vicinity of another mass of negroes.
In the light of a big fire and several lanterns, Bertram saw
that the men were in rough lines, and that each line appeared to
be in charge of a headman, distinguished by some badge of rank,
such as a bowler hat, a tobacco tin worn as an ear-ring, a pair
of pink socks, or a frock coat. These men walked up and
down their respective lines and occasionally smote one of their
squatting followers, hitting the chosen one without fear or
favour, without rhyme or reason, and apparently without doing
much damage. For the smitten one, without change of
expression or position, emitted an incredibly thin piping squeal,
as though in acknowledgment of an attention, rather than as if
giving natural vent to anguish. . . .
Every porter had a red blanket, and practically every one wore
a panga. The verbs are selected. They
had blankets and they wore pangas. The
blankets they either sat upon or folded into pads for insertion
beneath the loads they were to carry upon their heads. The
pangas were attached to strings worn over the
shoulder. This useful implement serves the African as
toothpick, spade, axe, knife, club, toasting-fork, hammer,
weapon, hoe, cleaver, spoon, skinning-knife, and every other kind
of tool, as well as being correct jungle wear for men for all
occasions, and in all weathers. He builds a house with it;
slays, skins and dismembers a bullock; fells a tree, makes a
boat, digs a pit; fashions a club, spear, bow or arrow; hews
his way through jungle, enheartens his wife, disheartens his
enemy, mows his lawn, and makes his bed. . . .
Not far away, a double company of the Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth “stood easy.” The fact that they
were soaked to the skin did nothing to give them an air of
devil-may-care gaiety.
The Jemadar in command approached and saluted Bertram, who
recognised the features of Hassan Ali.
“It’s you, is it!” he grunted, and
proceeded to explain that the Jemadar would command the
rear-guard of one hundred men, and that by the time it was
augmented to a hundred and fifty by the process of picking up
flankers left to guard side-turnings, the column would be halted
while fifty men made their way up to the advance-guard again, and
so on.
“D’you understand?” concluded Bertram.
“Nahin, Sahib,” replied the
Jemadar.
“Then fall out,” snapped Bertram.
“I’ll put an intelligent private in command, and you
can watch him until you do,” and then he broke into
English: “I’ve had about enough of you, my lad, and
if you give me any of your damned nonsense, I’ll twist your
tail till you howl. Call yourself an officer! . .
.” and here the Jemadar, saluting repeatedly, like an
automaton, declared that light had just dawned upon his mind and
that he clearly understood.
“And so you’d better,” answered Bertram
harshly, staring with a hard scowl into the Jemadar’s eyes
until they wavered and sank. “So you’d
better, if you want to keep your rank. . . . March
one hundred men down the path past the Officers’ Mess, and
halt them a thousand yards from here. . . . The coolies
will follow. You will return and fall in behind the coolies
with the other hundred as rear-guard. See that the coolies
do not straggle. March behind your men—so that you
are the very last man of the whole convoy. D’you
understand?”
Jemadar Hassan Ali did understand, and he also understood that
he’d made a bad mistake about Second-Lieutenant
Greene. He was evidently one of those subtle and clever
people who give the impression that they are not hushyar,
[142] that they are foolish and incompetent,
and then suddenly destroy you when they see you have thoroughly
gained that impression.
Respect and fear awoke in the breast of the worthy Jemadar, for he
admired cunning, subtlety and cleverness beyond all things. . .
. He marched a half of his little force off into the
darkness, halted them some half-mile down the path (or rivulet)
that led into the jungle, put them in charge of the senior
Havildar and returned.
Meanwhile, Lieutenant Bridges, in a cloak and pyjamas, had
arrived, yawning and shivering, to superintend the loading up of
the porters. At an order, given in Swahili, the first line
of squatting Kavirondo arose and rushed to the dump.
“Extraordinary zeal!” remarked Bertram to
Bridges.
“Yes—to collar the lightest loads,” was the
illuminating reply.
The zeal faded as rapidly as it had glowed when he coldly
pointed with the kiboko, which was his badge of office and
constant companion, to the heavy ammunition-boxes.
“I should keep that near the advance-guard and under a
special guard of its own,” said he.
“I’m going to—naturally,” replied
Bertram shortly, and added: “Hurry them along,
please. I want to get off to-day.”
Bridges stared. This was a much more assured and
autocratic person than the mild youth he had met at the
water’s edge a day or two ago.
“Well—if you like to push off with the
advance-guard, I’ll see that a constant stream of porters
files off from here, and that your rear-guard follows
them,” said he.
“Thanks—I’ll not start till I’ve seen
the whole convoy ready,” replied Bertram.
Yesterday he’d have been glad of advice from
anybody. Now he’d take it from no one. Orders
he would obey, of course—but “a poor thing but mine
own” should be his motto with regard to his method of
carrying out whatever he was left to do. They’d told
him to take their beastly convoy; they’d left him to do it;
and he’d do it as he thought fit. . . . Curse the
rain, the mud, the stench, the hunger, sickness and the beastly
pain that nearly doubled him up and made him feel faint. . .
.
Grayne strolled over.
“Time you bunged off, my lad,” quoth he,
loftily.
“If you’ll mind your own business, I shall have
the better chance to mind mine,” replied Bertram, eyeing
him coldly—and wondering at himself.
Grayne stared open-mouthed, and before he could speak Bertram was
hounding on a lingering knot of porters who had not hurried off
to the line as soon as their boxes of biscuit were balanced on
their heads, but stood shrilly wrangling about something or
nothing.
“Kalele! Kalele!” shouted
Bertram, and sprang at them with raised fist and furious
countenance, whereat they emitted shrill squeals and fled to
their places in the long column.
He had no idea what “Kalele!” meant, but
had heard Bridges and the headman say it. Later he learnt
that it meant “Silence!” and was a very useful word.
. . .
Ali Suleiman approached, seized three men, and herded them
before him to fetch Bertram’s kit. Having loaded them
with it, he drove them to the head of the column and stationed
them in rear of the advance-guard.
Returning, he presented Bertram with a good, useful-looking
cane.
“Bwana wanting a kiboko,” said
he. “Shenzis not knowing anything without
kiboko and not feeling happy in mind. Not thinking
Bwana is a real master.”
Yesterday Bertram would have chidden Ali gently, and explained
that kind hearts are more than coronets and gentle words than
cruel whips. To-day he took the cane, gave it a vicious
swish, and wished that it were indeed a kiboko, one of
those terrible instruments of hippopotamus hide, four feet in
length, as thick as a man’s wrist at one end, tapering
until it was of the thinness of his little finger at the
other. . . .
A big Kavirondo seized a rum jar. His bigger neighbour
dropped a heavy box and tried to snatch it from him. He who
had the lighter jar clung to it, bounded away, and put it on his
head. The box-wallah, following, gave him a sudden violent
blow in the back, jerking the jar from his head.
Raising his cane, Bertram brought it down with all his
strength on the starboard quarter of the box-wallah as he stooped
to grab the jar. With a wild yelp, he leapt for his box and
galloped to his place in the column.
“Excellent!” said Bridges, “you’ll
have no trouble with the safari people, at any
rate.”
“I’ll have no trouble with anybody,” replied
Bertram with a quiet truculence that surprised himself,
“not even with a Balliol negro.”
Bridges decided that he had formed his estimate of
Lieutenant Greene too hastily and quite wrongly. He was
evidently a bit of a tough lad when he got down to it. Hot
stuff. . . .
At last the dump had disappeared completely, and its original
components now swayed and turned upon the heads of a thousand
human beasts of burden—human in that they walked erect and
used fire for cooking food; beasts in that they were beastly and
beast-like in all other ways. Among them, and distinguished
by being feebler of physique, and, if possible, feebler of mind,
was a party of those despised savages, the Kikuyu, rendered
interesting as providing the great question that shook the Church
of England to its foundations, and caused Lord Bishops to forget
the wise councils of good Doctor Watts’ hymn. (It is
to be feared that among the even mightier problems of the Great
War, the problem of the spiritual position and ecclesiastical
condition of the Communicating Kikuyu has been temporarily lost
sight of. Those who know the gentleman, with his
blubber-lipped, foreheadless face, his teeth filed to sharp
points, his skin a mass of scar patterns, done with a knife, and
his soulless, brainless animalism and bestiality, would hate to
think he was one short on the Thirty-Nine Articles or anything of
that sort.)
Bertram gave a last injunction to Jemadar Hassan Ali, said
farewell to Bridges, and strode to the head of the column.
Thence he sent out a “point” of a Havildar and three
men, and waited to give the word to advance, and plunge into the
jungle, the one white man among some fifteen hundred people, all
of whom looked to him, as to a Superior Being, for guidance and
that competent command which should be their safeguard.
As the point disappeared he turned and looked along the
apparently endless line, cried “Quick March,”
and set off at a smart pace, the first man of the column.
He was too proud and excited to realise how very ill he felt,
or to be ashamed of the naughty temper that he had so clearly and
freely exhibited.
Bertram never forgot this plunge into the primeval jungle with
its mingled suggestions of a Kew hot-house, a Turkish bath, a
shower bath, a mud bath and a nightmare.
His mind was too blunted with probing into new things, his
brain too dulled by the incessant battering of new ideas, too
drunk with draughts of strange mingled novelty, too covered with
recent new impressions for him to be sensitive to fresh ones.
Had an elephant emerged from the dripping jungle, wagged its
tail and sat up and begged, he would have experienced no great
shock of surprise. He, a town-bred, town-dwelling, pillar
of the Respectable, the Normal and the Established, was marching
through virgin forest at the head of a thousand African porters
and two hundred Indian soldiers and their camp-followers,
surrounded by enemies—varying from an ex-Prussian
Guard armed with a machine-gun to a Wadego savage armed with a
poisoned arrow—to the relief of hungry men in a stockaded
outpost! . . . What further room was there for marvels,
wonders, and surprises? As he tramped, splashed, slipped
and stumbled along the path, and the gloom of early morning,
black sky, mist, and heavy rain slowly gave way to dawn and
daylight, his fit of savage temper induced by
“liver,” hunger, headache and disgust, slowly gave
way, also, to the mental inertia, calm, and peace, induced by
monotonous exercise. The steady dogged tramp, tramp, tramp,
was an anodyne, a sedative, a narcotic that drugged the mind,
rendering it insensitive to the pains and sickness of the body as
well as to its own worries, anxieties and problems. . . .
Bertram felt that he could go on for a very long time; go on
until he fell; but he knew that when he fell it would be quite
impossible for him to get up again. Once his legs stopped
moving, the spell would be broken, the automaton would have
“run down,” and motion would cease quite finally. . .
.
As daylight grew, he idly and almost subconsciously observed
the details of his environment.
This was better than the mangrove-thicket of the swamp, in a
clearing of which the base camp lay. It was the densest of
dense jungle through which the track ran, like a stream through a
cañon, but it was a jungle of infinite
variety. Above the green impenetrable mat of elephant grass
and nameless tangle of undergrowth, scrub, shrub, liana, bush,
creeper, and young trees, stood, in solid serried array, great
trees by the million, palm, mango, baobab, acacia, live oak, and
a hundred other kinds, with bamboo and banana where they could,
in defiance of probability, squeeze themselves in. Some of
the trees looked like the handiwork of prentice gods, so crude
and formless were they, their fat trunks tapering rapidly from a
huge ground-girth to a fine point, and putting forth little
abortive leafless branches suggestive of straggly hairs.
Some such produced brilliant red blossoms, apparently on the
trunk itself, but dispensed with the banality of leaves and
branches. Some great knotted creepers seemed to have
threaded themselves with beads as big as a man’s head, and
the fruit of one arboreal freak was vast sausages.
Through the aerial roadways of the forest, fifty feet above
the heads of the safari, tribes of monkeys galloped and
gambolled as they spied upon it and shrieked their comment.
Apparently the varied and numerous birds held views upon the
subject of safaris also, and saw no reason to conceal
them.
One accompanied the advance-guard, piping and fluting:
“Poli-Poli! Poli-Poli!” which, as
Ali Suleiman informed Bertram, is Swahili for
“Slowly! Slowly!”
Another bird appeared to have fitted up his home with a chime
of at least eight bells, for, every now and then, a sweet and
sonorous tolling rang through the jungle. One bird, sitting
on a branch a few feet from Bertram’s head, emitted two
notes that for depth of timbre and rich sonorous sweetness could
be excelled by no musical instrument or bell on earth. He
had but the two notes apparently, but those two were
marvellous. They even roused Bertram to the reception of a
new impression and a fresh sensation akin to wonder.
From many of the overhanging trees depended the beautifully
woven bottle-like nests of the weaver-bird. Brilliant
parrots flashed through the tree-tops, incredible horn-bills
carried their beaks about, the hypocritical widower-bird flaunted
his new mourning, the blue starling, the sun-bird, and the
crow-pheasant, with a score of other species, failed to give the
gloomy, menacing jungle an air of brightness and life, seemed
rather to emphasise its note of gloom, its insistence upon itself
as the home of death where Nature, red in tooth and claw,
pursued her cycle of destruction with fierce avidity and wanton
masterfulness. . . .
Suddenly a whistle rang out—sharp, clear,
imperative. Its incisive blow upon the silence of the
deadly jungle startled Bertram from his apathy. His tired
wits sprang to life and activity, urged on his weary flagging
muscles. He wheeled round and faced the Sepoys just behind
him, even as the blast of the whistle ceased.
“Halt! Baitho!” [148] he shouted—gave the drill-book
sign to lie down—and waited, for a second that seemed like
a year, to feel the withering blast of fire that should tear
through them at point-blank range. . . . Why did it not
come? . . . Why did no guttural German voice shout an order
to fire? . . . . He remained standing upright, while the
Sepoys, crouching low, worked the bolts of their rifles to load
the latter from their magazines. He was glad to see that
they made ready thus, without awaiting an order, even as they
sank to the ground. Would it not be better to march in
future with a cartridge in the chamber and the cut-off of the
magazine open? . . . Accidents? . . . Not if he made
them march with rifles at the “slope.” . . .
Better the risk of an accident than the risk of being caught
napping. . . . Why did not the accursed German give the
order to fire? . . . Was it because Bertram had got his men
crouching down so quickly? . . . Would the crashing volley
thunder out, the moment they arose? . . . They could not
stay squatting, kneeling and lying in the mud for ever. . .
. Where was the ambush? . . . Had they Maxims in
trees, commanding this path? . . . Were the enemy massed in
a clearing a foot or two from the road, and separated from it
only by a thin screen of foliage? . . . . What should he do
if there were a sudden bayonet-charge down the path, by huge
ferocious askaris? . . . You can’t meet a
charge with efficient rifle-fire when you are in single file and
your utmost effort at deployment would get two, or possibly three
crowded and hampered men abreast. . . . On the other hand,
the enemy would not be charging under ideal conditions either. .
. . More likely a machine-gun would suddenly nip out, from
concealment beside the path, and wither the column away with a
blast of fire at six hundred rounds a minute. . . . Perhaps
the “point” marching on ahead would have the sense
and the courage and the time to get into the gun-team with their
bayonets before it got the gun going? . . . Why did not the enemy
fire? . . . He would go mad if they didn’t do so
soon. . . . Were they playing with him, as a cat plays with
a mouse? . . .
The whistle rang out again, harsh, peremptory,
fateful—and then Ali Suleiman laughed, and pointed at a
small bird. As he did so, the bird whistled again, with
precisely the note of a police-whistle blown under the stress of
fear, excitement or anger, a clamant, bodeful, and insistent
signal.
Bertram would have welcomed warmly an opportunity to wring
little birdie’s neck, in the gust of anger that followed
the fright.
Giving the signal to rise and advance, Bertram strode on, and,
still under the stimulus of alarm, forgot that he was tired.
He analysed his feelings. . . . Was he frightened and
afraid? Not at all. The whistle had “made him
jump,” and given him a “start,” of
course. The waiting for the blast of fire, that he knew
would follow the signal, had been terribly trying—a torture
to the nerves. The problem of what to do, in response to
the enemy’s first move, had been an agonising
anxiety—but he would certainly have done
something—given clear orders as to object and distance if
there had been anything to fire at; used his revolver coolly and
set a good example if there had been a charge down the path;
headed a fierce rush at the Maxim if one had come out of cover
and prepared to open fire. . . . No—he decidedly was
not frightened and afraid. . . He was glad that he had
remained erect, and, with his hand on his revolver, had, with
seeming coolness, scanned the surrounding trees and jungle for
signs of an ambushed enemy. . . .
The road forked, and he turned to Ali Suleiman, who had
marched near him from the start, in the proud capacity of
guide.
“Which of these paths?” said he.
“The left hands, sah, please God,” was the reply;
“the right is closed also.”
“What d’you mean?” asked Bertram, staring
down the open track that branched to the right.
“See, Bwana,” replied Ali, pointing to a
small branch that lay in the middle of the path, with its broken
end towards them and its leaves away from them. “Road
closed. I ’spec askari patrol from Butani
putting it there, when they know Bwana coming, thank God,
please.”
Apparently this twig, to the experienced eye, was precisely equivalent
to a notice-board bearing the legend, No
Thoroughfare. Bertram signalled a halt and turned to
the Havildar at the head of the advance-guard.
“Take ten men and patrol down that path for a thousand
yards,” said he. “Then march back, wait for the
rear-guard, and report to the Jemadar Sahib.”
The man saluted, and Bertram saw him and his patrol move off,
before he gave the order for the column to advance again. . .
. That should secure the safari from attack down
that path, anyhow. Ten determined men could hold up
any number for any length of time, if they did the right thing. .
. . These beastly bush fighting conditions cut both ways. .
. . Yes—then suppose a small patrol of enemy
askaris were on this track in front of him, and decided to
hold the convoy up, what could he do?
To advance upon them, practically in single file, would be
like approaching a long stick of sealing-wax to the door of a
furnace—the point would melt and melt until the whole stick
had disappeared without reaching the fire. . . . Of course,
if there was a possibility of getting into the jungle, he would
send out parties to take them in flank as he charged down the
path. But that was just the point—you
couldn’t get more than a few yards into the jungle
in the likeliest places, and, when you’d done that,
you’d be utterly out of touch with your right and left-hand
man in no time—not to mention the fact that you’d
have no sense of direction or distance. . . .
No. . . . He’d just head a charge straight for
them, and if it were a really determined one and the distance not
too great, enough of the advance-guard might survive to reach
them with the bayonet. . . . Evidently, if there were any
rules at all in this jungle warfare, one would be that the
smaller of the two forces should dispose itself to bring every
rifle to bear with magazine fire, and the larger should make the
swiftest charge it possibly could. If it
didn’t—a dozen men would be as good as a
thousand—while their ammunition held out. . . . What
an advantage over the Indian Sepoy, with his open order
maidan [150] training, the askari, bred and
born and trained to this bush-fighting, would have! The
German ought to win this campaign with his very big army
of indigenous soldiers and his “salted”
Colonials. What chance had the Sepoy or the British Regular
in these utterly strange and unthought-of conditions? . . . As
well train aviators and then put them in submarines as train the
Indian Army for the frontier and the plains and then put them in
these swamps and jungles where your enemy is invisible and your
sole “formation” is single file. What about the
sacred and Medean Law: Never fire until you can see something
to fire at? They’d never fire at all, at that
rate, with an enemy who habitually used machine-guns from
tree-tops and fired from dense cover—and small blame to
him. . . .
A sound of rushing water, and a few minutes later the path
became the edge of a river-bank beneath which the torrent
swirled. It looked as though its swift erosion would soon
bring the crumbling and beetling bank down, and the path would
lead straight into the river. He must mention the fact at
Butindi.
He stared at the jungle of the opposite bank, apparently
lifeless and deserted, though menacing, secretive and
uncanny. An ugly place. . . . Suppose the Germans
bridged the river just here. . . . He found that he had
come to a halt and was yearning to sit down. . . . He must
not do that. He must keep moving. But he did not like
that gap in the path where, for some yards, it ran along the edge
of the bank. It was a gap in the wall, an open door in the
house, a rent in the veil of protection. The jungle seemed
a friend instead of a blinding and crippling hindrance,
impediment, and obstacle, now that the path lay open and exposed
along that flank. Suppose there were an ambush in the
jungle on the other side of the narrow rushing river, and a heavy
fire was opened upon his men as they passed? He could not
get at an enemy so placed, nor return their fire for long, from
an open place, while they were in densest cover. They could
simply prohibit the passing of the safari. . . .
Anyhow, he’d leave a force there to blaze like fury into
the jungle across the river if a shot were fired from there.
“Naik,” said he, to a corporal, “halt here
with twenty men and line the edge of the bank. If you are
fired at from across the river, pour in magazine fire as hard as
you can go—and make the porters run like the devil
across this gap.” He then translated, as well as he
could, and marched on. He had done his best, anyhow.
For another hour he doggedly tramped on. The rain
ceased, and the heat grew suffocating, stifling, terrible to
bear. He felt that he was breathing pure steam,
and that he must climb a tree in search of air—do
something to relieve his panting lungs. . . . He
tore his tunic open at the throat. . . . Help! he
was going to faint and fall. . . . With a great effort he
swung about and raised his hand for the “halt” and
lowered it with palm horizontal downward for the “lie
down.” . . . If the men were down themselves they
would not realise that he had fallen. . . . It would not do
to fall while marching at their head, to fall and lie there for
the next man to stumble over him, to set an example of weakness.
. . . The officer should be the last man to succumb to
anything—but wounds—in front. . . .
He sank to the ground, and feeling that he was going to faint
away, put his head well down between his knees, and, after a
while, felt better.
“Bwana taking off tunic and belts,” said
Ali Suleiman, “and I carry them. Bwana keep
only revolver, by damn, please God, sah.”
A bright idea! Why not? Where was the sense in
marching through these foul swamps and jungles as though it were
along the Queen’s Road at Bombay? And Ali, who would
rather die than carry a load upon his head, like a low
shenzi of a porter, would be proud to carry his
master’s sword and personal kit.
In his shirt-sleeves, with exposed chest, Bertram felt another
man, gave the signal to advance, and proceeded free of all
impedimenta save his revolver. . . .
Suddenly the narrow, walled-in path debouched into a most
beautiful open glade of trees like live oaks. These were
not massed together; there was no undergrowth of bush; the grass
was short and fine; the ground sloping slightly upward was
gravelly and dry—the whole spot one of Africa’s
freakish contrasts.
Bertram determined to halt the whole safari here, get
it “closed up” into something like fours, and see
every man, including the rear-guard, into the place before
starting off again.
With the help of Ali, who interpreted to the headmen, he
achieved his object, and, when he had satisfied himself that it
was a case of “all present and correct,” he returned
to the head of the column and sat him down upon the trunk of a
fallen tree. . . .
Everybody, save the sentries, whom he had posted about the
glade, squatted or lay upon the ground, each man beside his load.
. . .
Though free now of the horrible sense of suffocation,
he felt sick and faint, and very weary. Although he had not
had a proper meal since he left the Barjordan, he was not
hungry—or thought he was not. . . . Would it be his
luck to be killed in the first fight that he took part in?
His good luck? When one is ill and half starved,
weary beyond words, and bearing a nightmare burden of
responsibility in conditions as comfortless and rough as they can
well be, Death seems less a grisly terror than a friend, bearing
an Order of Release in his bony hand. . . .
Ali stood before him unbuckling his haversack.
“Please God, sah, I am buying Bwana this
chocolates in Mombasa when finding master got no grubs for
emergency rasher,” said he, producing a big blue packet of
chocolate.
“Good man!” replied Bertram. “I meant
to get a stock of that myself. . . .”
He ate some chocolate, drank of the cold tea with which the
excellent Ali had filled his water-bottle, and felt better.
After an hour’s rest he gave the order to fall in, the
headmen of the porters got their respective gangs loaded up
again, and the safari wound snake-like from the glade
along the narrow path once more, Bertram at its head. He
felt he was becoming a tactical soldier as he sent a lance-naik
to go the round of the sentries and bid them stand fast until the
rear-guard had disappeared into the jungle, when they were to
rejoin it.
On tramped the safari, hour after hour, with occasional
halts where the track widened, or the jungle, for a brief space,
gave way to forest or dambo. Suddenly the head of
the column emerged from the denser jungle into an undulating
country of thicket, glade, scrub, and forest. Bertram saw
the smoke of campfires far away to the left; and with one accord
the porters commenced to beat their loads, drum-wise, with their
safari sticks as they burst into some tribal chant or
pæan of rejoicing. The convoy had reached Butindi in
safety.
Half a mile beyond a village of the tiniest huts—built
for themselves by the Kavirondo porters, and suggesting beehives
rather than human habitations—Bertram beheld the entrenched
and stockaded boma, zariba, or fort, that was to be his
home for some months.
At that distance, it looked like a solid square of grass huts
and tents, surrounded by a high wall. He guessed each side
to be about two hundred yards in length. It stood in a
clearing which gave a field of fire of some three hundred yards
in every direction.
Halting the advance-guard, he formed it up from single file
into fours; and, taking his kit from Ali, resumed it.
Giving the order to march at “attention,” he
approached the boma, above the entrance to which an
officer was watching him through field-glasses.
Halting his men at the plank which crossed the trench, he bade
them “stand easy,” and, leaving them in charge of a
Havildar, crossed the little bridge and approached the gateway
which faced sideways instead of outwards, and was so narrow that
only one person at a time could pass through it.
Between the trench and the wall of the boma was a space
some ten yards in width, wherein a number of small men in blue
uniform, who resembled neither Indians nor Africans, were
employed upon the off-duty duties of the soldier—cleaning
rifles and accoutrements, chopping wood, rolling puttees,
preparing food, washing clothing, and pursuing trains of thought
or insects.
Against the wall stood the long lean-to shelters, consisting
of a roof of plaited palm-leaf, supported by poles, in which they
lived. By the entrance was a guard-house, which suggested a
rabbit-hutch; and a sentry, who, seeing the approach of an armed
party, turned out the guard. The Sergeant of the Guard was
an enormous man with a skin like fine black satin, a skin than
which no satin could be blacker nor more shiny. He was an
obvious negro, Nubian or Soudanese, but the men of the guard were
small and fair, and wore blue turbans, of which the ornamental
end hung tail-wise down their backs. Beneath their blue
tunics were unpleated kilts or skirts, of a kind of blue tartan,
reaching
to their knees. They had blue puttees and bare feet.
Saluting the guard, Bertram entered the boma and found
himself in the High Street of a close-packed village of huts and
tents, which were the dwelling-places of the officers, the
hospital and sick-lines, the commissariat store, the
Officers’ Mess, the cook-house, orderly-room, and
offices.
In the middle of the High Street stood four poles which
supported a roof. A “table” of posts and
packing-case boards, surrounded by native bedsteads of wood and
string—by way of seats—constituted this, the
Officers’ Mess, Club, Common Room and Bar. A bunch of
despondent-looking bananas hanging from the ridge-pole suggested
food, and a bath containing a foot of water and an inch of mud
suggested drink and cholera.
About the table sat several British officers in ragged shirts
and shorts, drinking tea and eating native
chupatties. They looked ill and weary. The
mosaic of scraps of stencilled packing-case wood, the tin plates,
the biscuit-box “sugar-basin,” the condensed milk tin
“milk-jug,” the battered metal teapot and the pile of
sodden-looking chupatties made as uninviting an afternoon
tea ménage as could be imagined, particularly in that
setting of muddy clay floor, rough and dirty angarebs, and
roof-and-wall thatch of withered leaves and grass. A
typical scene of modern glorious war with its dirt, discomfort
and privation, its disease, misery and weary boredom. . . .
Bertram approached the rickety grass hut and saluted.
A very tall man, with the face and moustache of a Viking, rose
and extended his hand.
“How do, Greene?” said he. “Glad to
see you. . . . Hope you brought the rum ration safe. . .
. Take your bonnet off and undo your furs. . . . Hope
that pistol’s not loaded. . . . Nor that sword sharp.
. . . Oughtn’t to go about with nasty, dangerous
things like that. . . . Hope the rum ration’s safe. .
. . Have some tea and a bloater. . . . Berners, go
and do Quartermaster, like a good lad. . . . Have some rum
and a bloater, Greene. . . .”
“Thank you, sir,” said Bertram, noting that the
big man had a crown on one shoulder of his shirt and a safety-pin
spanning a huge hole on the other. His great arms and chest
were bare, and a pair of corduroy riding-breeches, quite
unfastened at the knee and calf, left an expanse of bare leg
between their termination and the beginning of grey, sagging
socks. Hob-nailed boots, fastened with string, completed his
attire. He looked like a tramp, a scarecrow, and a strong
leader of men.
“’Fraid you’ll have to drink out of a
condensed milk tin, until your kit turns up. . .” said a
pale and very handsome youth. “You get a flavour of
milk, though,” he added with an air of impartiality,
“as well as of tin and solder. . . . They burn your
fingers so damnably, though, when you go to pick ’em up. .
. . Or why not drink out of the teapot, if everyone has
finished? . . . Yes—I’ll drop in a spot of
condensed milk.”
“No—damn it all, Vereker,” put in the Major,
“let’s do him well and create an impression.
Nothing like beginning as you don’t mean to go on—or
can’t possibly go on. . . . He can have The Glass
this evening. And some fresh tea. And his own tin of
condensed. . . . And a bloater. Hasn’t he
brought us rum and hope? . . .”
The pale and handsome Vereker sighed.
“You create a false impression, sir,” he
said, and, taking a key from his neck, arose and unlocked a big
chop-box that stood in a corner of the banda. Thence
he produced a glass tumbler and set it before Bertram.
“There’s The Glass,” said he.
“It’s now in your charge, present and correct.
I’ll receive it from you and return the receipt at
‘Stand-to.’ . . .”
Bertram gathered that the tumbler was precious in the
Major’s sight, and that honour was being shown him.
He had a faint sense of having reached Home. He was
disappointed when a servant brought fresh tea, a newly-opened tin
of milk, and the lid of a biscuit-box for a plate, to discover
that the banana which reposed upon it was the
“bloater” of his hopes and the Major’s
promise.
“For God’s sake use plenty of condensed
milk,” said that gentleman, as Bertram put some into the
glass, preparatory to pouring out his tea. Bertram thought
it very kind and attentive of him—until he added:
“And pour the tea on to it, and not down the side of
the glass. . . . That’s how the other tumbler got
done in. . . .”
As he gratefully sipped the hot tea and doubtfully munched a
chapatti, Bertram took stock of the other members of the
Mess. Beside Major Mallery sat a very hard-looking person,
a typical fighting-man with the rather low forehead, rather
protruding ears, rather high cheek-bones, heavy jaw and jutting chin of
his kind. He spoke little, and that somewhat truculently,
wore a big heavy knife in his belt, looked like a refined
prize-fighter, and answered to the name of Captain Macke.
Beside him, and in strong contrast, sat a young man of the
Filbert genus. He wore a monocle, his nails were manicured,
he spoke with the euphuism and euphemism of a certain Oxford
type, he had an air of languor, boredom and acute refinement, was
addressed as Cecil Clarence, when not as Gussie Augustus Gus, and
seemed to be one of the very best.
On the same string bed, and in even stronger contrast, sat a
dark-faced Indian youth. On his shoulder-straps were the
letters I.M.S. and two stars. A lieutenant of the Indian
Medical Service, and, as such, a member of this British
Officers’ Mess. Bertram wondered why the fact that he
had been to England and read certain books should have this
result; and whether the society of the Subedar-Major of the
regiment would have been preferred by the British officers.
The young man talked a lot, and appeared anxious to show his
freedom from anxiety, and his knowledge of English idiom and
slang. When he addressed anyone by the nickname which
intimate pals bestowed upon him, Bertram felt sorry for this
youth with the hard staccato voice and raucous, mirthless
laugh. Cecil Clarence said of him that “if one gave
him an inch he took an ’ell of a lot for
granted.” His name was Bupendranath Chatterji, and
his papa sat cross-legged and bare-footed in the doorway of a
little shop in a Calcutta bazaar, and lent moneys to the poor,
needy and oppressed, for a considerable consideration.
“’Bout time for Stand-to, isn’t it?”
said the Major, consulting his wrist-watch. “Hop it,
young Clarence. . . . You might come round with me
to-night, Greene, if you’ve finished tea. . . .
Can’t offer you another bloater, I’m afraid. . .
.”
The other officers faded away. A few minutes later a
long blast was blown on a whistle, there were near and distant
cries of “Stand-to,” and Cecil Clarence returned to
the Mess banda. He was wearing tunic and
cross-belt. On his cheerful young face was a look of
portentous solemnity as he approached the Major, halted, saluted,
stared at him as at a perfect stranger, and said:
“Stand-to, sir. All present and correct.”
Over the Major’s face stole a similar expression.
He looked as one who has received sudden, interesting and important
but anxious news.
“Thank you,” said he.
“I’ll—ah—go round. Yes. Come
with me, will you? . . .” Cecil Clarence again
saluted, and fell in behind the Major as he left the
banda. Bertram followed. The Major went to his
tent and put on his tunic and cross-belt. These did little
to improve the unfastenable riding-breeches, bare calves and grey
socks, but were evidently part of the rite.
Proceeding thence to the entrance to the boma, the
Major squeezed through, was saluted by the guard, and there met
by an English officer in the dress of the small men whom Bertram
had noticed on his arrival. His white face looked
incongruous with the blue turban and tartan petticoat.
“All present and correct, sir,” said he. Half
his men were down in the trench, their rifles resting in the
loop-holes of the parapet. These loop-holes were of
wicker-work, like bottomless waste-paper baskets, and were built
into the earthwork of the parapet so that a man, looking through
one, had a foot of earth and logs above his head. The other
half of his blue-clad force was inside the boma and lining
the wall. This wall, some eight feet in height, had been
built by erecting two walls of stout wattle and posts, two feet
apart, and then filling the space between these two with
earth. Along the bottom of the wall ran a continuous
fire-step, some two feet in height, and a line of wicker-work
loop-holes pierced it near the top. In the angle, where
this side of the boma met the other, was a tower of posts,
wattle and earth, some twelve feet in height, and on it, within
an earth-and-wattle wall, and beneath a thatched roof, was a
machine-gun and its team of King’s African Rifles
askaris, in charge of an English N.C.O. On the roof
squatted a sentry, who stared at the sky with a look of rapt
attention to duty.
“How are those two men, Black?” asked the Major,
as the N.C.O. saluted.
“Very bad, sir,” was the reply.
“They’ll die to-night. I’m quite sure the
Germans had poisoned that honey and left it for our askari
patrols to find. I wondered at the time that they
’adn’t skoffed it themselves. . . . And it so
near their boma and plain to see, an’ all. . .
. I never thought about poison till it was too late. . .
.”
“Foul swine!” said the Major. “I
suppose it’s a trick they learnt from the shenzis,
this poisoning wild honey? . . .”
“More like they taught it ’em, sir,”
was the reply. “There ain’t no savage as low as
a German, sir. . . . I lived in German East, I did, afore
the war. . . . I know ’em. . . .”
The next face of the boma was held by the Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth. Captain Macke met the Major and saluted him
as a revered stranger. He, too, wore tunic and cross-belt
and a look of portentous solemnity, such as that on the faces of
the Major, Cecil Clarence, and, indeed, everybody else.
Bertram, later, labelled it the Stand-to face and practised to
acquire it.
“How many sick, Captain Macke?” enquired the
Major.
“Twenty-seven, sir,” was the reply. Bertram
wondered whether they were “present” in the spirit
and “correct” in form.
“All fever or dysentery—or both, I suppose?”
said the Major.
“Yes—except one with a poisoned foot and one who
seems to be going blind,” was the reply.
As they passed along, the Major glanced at each man, looked
into the canvas water-tanks, scrutinised the residential sheds
beneath the wall—and, in one of them discovered a scrap of
paper! As the ground was covered with leaves, twigs, and
bits of grass, as well as being thick with mud, Bertram did not
see that this piece of paper mattered much. This only shows
his ignorance. The Major pointed at it, speechless.
Captain Macke paled—with horror, wrath or grief.
Gussie Augustus Gus stooped and stared at it, screwing his
monocle in the tighter, that he might see the better and not be
deceived. Vereker turned it over with his stick, and only
then believed the evidence of three of his senses. The
Jemadar shook his head with incredulous but pained
expression. He called for the Havildar, whose mouth fell
open. The two men were very alike, being relatives, but
while the senior wore a look of incredulous pain, the junior, it
seemed to Bertram, rather wore one of pained incredulity.
That is to say, the Jemadar looked stricken but unable to believe
his eyes, whereas the Havildar looked as though he could not
believe his eyes but was stricken nevertheless.
All stared hard at the piece of paper. . . . It was a
poignant moment. . . . No one moved and no one seemed to
breathe. Suddenly the Havildar touched a Naik who stood
behind his men, with his back to the group of officers, and
stared fixedly at Nothing. He turned, beheld the paper at
which the Havildar’s accusing finger pointed, rigid but
tremulous. . . . What next? The Naik pocketed the
paper, and the incident was closed.
Bertram was glad that he had witnessed it. He knew,
thenceforth, the proper procedure for an officer who, wearing the
Stand-to face, sees a piece of paper.
The third wall of the boma was occupied by a company of
Dogras of an Imperial Service Corps, under a Subedar, a
fine-looking Rajput, and a company of Marathas of the Hundred and
Ninety-Eighth, under the Subedar-Major of that regiment.
Bertram was strongly attracted to this latter officer, and
thought that never before had he seen an Indian whose face
combined so much of patient strength, gentle firmness, simple
honesty, and noble pride.
He was introduced to Bertram, and, as they shook hands and
saluted, the fine old face was lit up with a smile of genuine
pleasure and friendly respectfulness. A man of the old
school who recognised duties as well as
“rights”—and in whose sight “false to
his salt” was the last and lowest epithet of uttermost
degradation.
“You’ll have charge of this face of the fort
to-morrow, Greene,” said the Major, as they passed
on. “Subedar-Major Luxman Atmaram is a priceless old
bird. He’ll see you have no trouble. . . .
Don’t be in a hurry to tell him off for anything, because
it’s a hundred to one you’ll find he’s
right.”
Bertram smiled to himself at the thought of his being the sort
to “tell off” anybody without due cause and was
secretly pleased to find that Major Mallery had thought such a
thing possible. . . .
The remaining side of the fort was held by Gurkhas, and
Bertram noted the fact with pleasure. He had taken a great
fancy to these cheery, steady people. Another machine-gun,
with its team of askaris of the King’s African
Rifles, occupied the middle of this wall.
“Don’t cough or sneeze near the gun,”
murmured Vereker to Bertram, “or it may fall to pieces
again. The copper-wire is all right, but the boot-lace was
not new to begin with.”
“What kind of gun is it?” he asked.
“It was a Hotchkiss once. It’s a Hot-potch
now,” was the reply. “Don’t touch it as
you pass,” and the puzzled Bertram observed that it was
actually bound with copper-wire at one point and tied with some
kind of cord or string at another.
By
the hospital—a horrible pit with a tent over it—stood
the Indian youth and a party of Swahili stretcher-bearers.
Bertram wondered whether it would ever be his fate to be
carried on one of those blood-stained stretchers by a couple of
those negroes, laid on the mud at the bottom of that pit, and
operated on by that young native of India. He
shuddered. Fancy one’s life-blood ebbing away into
that mud. Fancy dying, mangled, in that hole with no one
but a Bupendranath Chatterji to soothe one’s last agonies.
. . .
Having completed his tour of inspection, Major Mallery removed
the Stand-to face and resumed his ordinary one, said: “They
can dismiss,” to Captain Macke and the group of officers,
and tore off his cross-belt and tunic.
All his hearers relaxed their faces likewise, blew their
whistles, cried “Dismiss!” in the direction of their
respective Native Officers, and removed their belts and tunics
almost as quickly as they had removed their Stand-to faces.
They then proceeded to the Bristol Bar.
“Come along to the Bristol Bar and have a drink,
Greene,” said Cecil Clarence, alias Gussie Augustus
Gus, emerging from his banda, into which he had cast his
tunic and Sam Browne belt.
“Thanks,” replied Bertram, wondering if there were
a Jungle Hotel within easy reach of the boma, or whether
the outpost had its own Place, “licensed for the sale of
beer, wine, spirits, and tobacco, to be consumed on the premises.
. . .”
In the High Street, next door to the Officers’ Mess,
were two green tents, outside one of which stood a rough
camp-table of the “folding” variety, a native string
bed, and a circle of Roorkee chairs, boxes and stools. On
an erection of sticks and withes, resembling an umbrella stand,
stood an orderly array of fresh coco-nuts, the tops of which had
been sliced off to display the white interior with its pint or so
of sweet, limpid milk.
Emerging from the tent, an Arab “boy” in a blue
turban, blue jacket buttoning up to the chin, blue petticoat and
puttees, placed bottles of various kinds on the table, together
with a “sparklet” apparatus and a pannikin of
water. The Bristol Bar was open. . . . From the other
tent emerged an officer in the blue uniform of the little fair
men.
He eyed the muddy ground, the ugly grey bandas of
withered grass and leaves, the muddy, naked
Kavirondo—piling their loads on the commissariat dump, and
the general dreary, cheerless scene, with the cold eye of extreme
distaste and disfavour.
“Yah!” said he. He eyed the bottles
on the table.
“Ah!” said he, and seated himself behind
the Bristol Bar.
“Start with a Ver-Gin, I think, as I’ve been such
a good boy to-day,” he murmured, and, pouring a measure of
Italian vermuth into an enamelled mug, he added a smaller
allowance of gin.
“Wish some fool’d roll up so that I can get a
drink,” he grumbled, holding the mug in his hand.
It did not occur to him to “faire Suisse,”
as the French say—to drink alone. He must at least
say “Chin-chin” or “Here’s how” to
somebody else with a drink in his hand. Had it been cocoa,
now, or something of that sort, one might drink gallons of it
without a word to a soul. One could lie in bed and wallow
and soak, lap it up like a cat or take it in through the
pores—but this little drop of alcohol must not be drunk
without a witness and a formula. So Lieutenant Forbes
possessed his soul in impatience.
A minute later, from every banda and tent, from the
Officers’ Mess and from all directions, came British
officers, bearing each man in his hands something to drink or
something from which to drink.
The Major bore The Glass, and, behind him, the Mess butler
carried a square bottle of ration whisky. He was followed
by a Swahili clasping to his bosom a huge jar of ration rum,
newly arrived. “Leesey” Lindsay, of the
Intelligence Department, brought a collapsible silver cup, which,
as he said, only wanted knowing. It leaked and it collapsed
at inappropriate moments, but, on the other hand, it did
collapse, and you could put it in your pocket—where it
collected tobacco dust, crumbs, fluff, and grit. Vereker
carried a fresh coco-nut and half a coco-nut shell. This
latter he was going to carve and polish. He said that
coco-nut shells carved beautifully and took a wonderful polish. .
. . His uncle, an admiral, had one which he brought from
the South Sea Islands. It was beautifully carved and had
taken a high polish—from someone or other. A cannibal
chief had drunk human blood from it for years. . . .
Vereker was going to drink whisky from his for years, and keep it
all his life—carving and polishing it between whiles. . .
. “Yes. I used that as a drinking-cup all
through my first campaign. It nearly fell on my head in the
first battle I ever fought. Cut off the tree by a
bullet. Carved and polished it myself,” he would be
able to say, in years to come. Meanwhile it looked a very
ordinary half-shell of the common coco-nut of commerce as known
to those who upon Saints’ Days and Festivals do roll, bowl,
or pitch. . . .
Captain Macke brought a prepared siphon of
“sparklet” water and his ration whisky. Gussie
Augustus Gus walked delicately, bearing a brimming condensed milk
tin, and singing softly—
“Dear, sweet Mother,
Kind and true;
She’s a boozer,
Through and through . . . .
But roll your tail,
And roll it high,
And you’ll be an angel
By and by. . . .”
Lieutenant Bupendranath Chatterji brought a harsh laugh and an
uncultivated taste, but a strong liking, for assorted liquors,
preferably sweet. The officer who had been in command of
the side of the fort occupied by the men in blue entered the tent
and, having removed his belt, seated himself beside Lieutenant
Forbes, behind the bar.
“Good evening, Major,” said he; “won’t
you come and have a drink? . . . Do!”
Regarding The Glass with a look of surprise, and as though
wondering how the devil it came to be there, the Major considered
the invitation.
“Thanks!” said he. “Don’t mind
if I do sit down for a moment.” And he placed
The Glass upon the table. Strangely enough, his own Roorkee
chair was already in the centre of the circle facing the said
table, as it had been any evening at this time for the last fifty
nights. The Mess butler put the rum and whisky beneath his
chair. “Let me introduce Lieutenant Greene, attached
to Ours. Wavell . . .” said he. . . .
“Captain Wavell of Wavell’s Arabs,
Greene,” and Bertram shook hands with a remarkable and
romantic soldier of fortune, explorer and adventurous
knight-errant, whom he came to like, respect, and admire with the
greatest warmth. The others drifted up and dropped in,
accidentally and casually, as it were, until almost all were
there, and the Bristol Bar was full; the hour of the evening star
and the evening drink had arrived; l’heure
d’absinthe, l’heure verte had struck; the
sun was below the yard-arm; now the day was over, night was
drawing nigh, shadows of the evening stole across the sky; and,
war or no war, hunger, mud, disease and misery, or no hunger,
mud, disease and misery, the British officer was going to have
his evening cocktail, his evening cheroot, and his evening
“buck” at the club bar—and to the devil with
all Huns who’d interfere with his sacred rights and their
sacred rites.
“Here’s the best, Major,” said Forbes, and
drank his ver-gin with gusto and appreciation. His very
fine long-lashed eyes beneath faultlessly curving
eyebrows—eyes which many a woman had enviously and
regretfully considered to be criminally wasted on a mere
man—viewed the grey prospect with less disgust. The
first drink of the day provided the best minute of the day to
this exile from the cream of the joys of Europe; and he eyed the
array of bottles with something approaching optimism as he
considered the question of what should be his drink for the
evening.
“Cheerioh!” responded the Major, and took a pull
at the whisky and slightly-aerated water in The Glass.
“Here’s to Good Count Zeppelin—our finest
recruiting agent, and Grandpa Tirpitz—who’ll bring
America in on our side. . . .”
“What’ll you drink, Greene?” asked
Wavell. “Vermuth? Whisky? Rum?
Gin? Try an absinthe? Or can I mix you a
Risky—rum and whisky, you know—or a Whum—whisky
and rum, of course?”
“They’re both helpful and cheering,” added
Forbes.
“Let me make you a cock-eye,” put in Gussie
Augustus Gus. “Thing of my own. Much better
than a mere cocktail. Thought of it in bed last night while
I was sayin’ my prayers. This is one,” and he
raised his condensed milk tin. “Cross between
milk-punch, cocktail, high-ball, gin-sling, rum-shrub, and a
bitters. . . . Go down to posterity as a
‘Gussie’—along with the John Collins and Elsie
May. . . . Great thought. . . . Let us pause before
it. . . .”
“What’s in it?” asked Captain
Macke.
“Condensed milk,” replied Augustus, “ration
lime-juice, ration rum, ration whisky, medical-comfort brandy,
vermuth, coco-nut milk, angostura, absinthe, glycerine. . .
.”
“And a damn great flying caterpillar,” added the
Major as a hideous insect, with a fat, soft body, splashed into
the pleasing compound.
“Dirty dog!” grumbled Augustus, fishing for the
creature. “Here, don’t play submarines in the
mud, Eustace—be a sport and swim. . . . I can drink
down to him, anyhow,” he added, failing to secure the
enterprising little animal with a finger and thumb that groped
short of the bottom stratum of his concoction. “Got
his head stuck in the toffee-milk at the bottom.”
Bertram declined a “Gussie,” feeling unworthy, also
unable.
“Have you tried rum and coco-nut milk?” asked
Wavell. “It’s a kind of local industry since
we’ve been here. The Intelligence Department keeps a
Friendly Tribe at work bringing in fresh coco-nuts, and our
numerous different detachments provide fatigue-parties in
rotation to open them. . . . Many a worse drink than half a
tumbler of ration rum poured into the coco-nut. . . .”
“Point of fact—I’m a teetotaller just at
present,” replied Bertram, sadly but firmly.
“May I substitute lime-juice for rum? . . .”
Vereker screwed in his monocle and regarded him. Not
with astonishment or interest, of course, for nothing astonished
or interested him any more. He was too young and wise for
those emotions. But he regarded him.
“What a dreadful habit to contract at your age,
Greene,” observed Augustus, slightly shocked.
“Y’ought to pull yourself together, y’know. . .
. Give it up. . . . Bad. . . . Bad. . .”
and he shook his head.
“What’s it feel like?” asked Captain
Macke.
“You’ve been getting into bad company, my
lad,” said Major Mallery.
“Oah! Maan, maan! You must not do
thatt!” said Mr. Chatterji.
“I’ve got some ration lime-juice here,” said
Wavell, “but I really don’t advise it as a drink in
this country. It’s useful stuff to have about when
you can’t get vegetables of any sort—but I believe it
thins your blood, gives you boils, and upsets your tummy. . .
. Drop of rum or whisky in the evening . . . do you more
good.”
Bertram’s heart warmed to the kindly friendliness of his
voice and manner—the more because he felt that, like
himself, this famous traveller and explorer was of a shy and
diffident nature.
“Thanks. I’ll take your advice then,”
he said, and reflected that what was good enough for Wavell was
good enough for him, in view of the former’s unique
experience of African and Asiatic travel. “I’ll
try the rum and coco-nut milk if I may,” he added.
“Three loud cheers!” remarked Augustus.
“Won’t mother be pleased! . . . I’m going
to write a book about it, Greene, if you don’t mind. . .
. ‘The Redemption of Lieutenant Greene’ or
somethin’. . . . You know—how on the Eve
of Battle, in a blinding flash of self-illuminating
introspection, he saw his soul for the Thing it was, saw just
where he stood—on the brink of an Abyss. . . . And
repented in time. . . . Poignant. . . . Repented and
drank rum. . . . Searching.”
“Probably Greene’s pulling our legs the whole
time, my good ass,” put in Vereker. “Dare say
he’s really a frightful drunkard. Riotous reveller
and wallowing wassailer. . . . He’s got rather a wild
eye. . . .”
Bertram laughed with the rest. It was impossible to take
offence, for there was nothing in the slightest degree offensive
about these pleasant, friendly people.
Berners joined the group and saluted the Major.
“Ammunition and ration indents all present and correct,
sir,” said he.
“Rum ration all right?” asked the Major.
“How do you know the jars aren’t full of
water?”
“P’raps he’d better select one at random as
a sample and bring it over here, Major,” suggested
Macke. And it was so. . . .
Another officer drifted in and was introduced to Bertram as
Lieutenant Halke of the Coolie Corps, in charge of the Kavirondo,
Wakamba, and Monumwezi labourers and porters attached to the
Butindi garrison.
He was an interesting man, a big, burly planter, who had been
in the colony for twenty years. “I want your birds to
dig another trench to-morrow, Halke,” said the Major.
“Down by the water-picket.”
“Very good, sir,” replied Halke.
“I’m glad that convoy rolled up safely to-day.
Their posho [167] was running rather
low . . .” and the conversation became technical.
Bertram felt distinctly better for his rum and milk. His
weariness fell from him like a garment, and life took on brighter
hues. He was not a wretched, weary lad, caught up in the
maelstrom of war and flung from pleasant city streets into deadly
primeval jungles, where lurked Death in the form of bacillus,
savage beast, and more savage and more beastly Man. Not at
all. He was one of a band of Britain’s soldiers in an
outpost of Empire on her far-flung battle-line. . . . One
of a group of cheery comrades, laughing and jesting in the face
of danger and discomfort. . . . He had Answered His
Country’s Call, and was of the great freemasonry of arms,
sword on thigh, marching, marching. . . . Camp-fire and
bivouac. . . . The Long Trail. . . . Beyond the
Ranges. . . . Men who have Done Things. . . . A
sun-burnt, weather-beaten man from the Back of Beyond. . .
. Strong, silent man with a Square Jaw. . . .
Romance. . . . Adventure. . . . Life. He drank
some more of his rum and felt very happy. He nodded,
drooped, snored—and nearly fell off his stool. Wavell
smiled as he jerked upright again, and tried to look as though he
had never slept in his life.
“So Pappa behaved nasty,” Gussie Augustus Gus was
saying to a deeply interested audience. “He’d
just been turned down himself by a gay and wealthy widowette whom
he’d marked down for his Number 2. When I said,
‘Pappa, I’m going to be married on Monday,
please,’ he spake pompous platitudes, finishing up with:
‘A young man married is a young man marred.’ .
. . ‘Yes, Pappa,’ says I thoughtlessly,
‘and an old man jilted is an old man jarred.’
. . . Caused quite a coolness. So I went to
sea.” Augustus sighed and drank—and then almost
choked with violent spluttering and coughing.
“That blasted Eustace!” he said, as he suddenly
and vehemently expelled something.
“Did you marry her?” asked Vereker, showing no
sympathy in the matter of the unexpected recovery of the body of
Eustace.
“No,” said Augustus. “Pappa
did.” . . .
“That’s what I went to see,” he added.
“Don’t believe you ever had a
father,” said Vereker.
“I didn’t,” said Gussie Augustus Gus.
“I was an orphan. . . . Am still. . . .
Poignant. . . . Searching. . . .”
Lieutenant Bupendranath Chatterji listened to this sort of
thing with an owlish expression on his fat face. When
anybody laughed he laughed also, loudly and raucously.
It was borne in upon Bertram that it took more than fever,
hunger, boredom, mud, rain and misery to depress the spirits of
the officers of the garrison of Butindi. . . .
“Khana tyar hai, [168a]
Sahib,” announced the Major’s butler,
salaaming.
“Come and gnaw ropes and nibble bricks, Greene,”
said the officer addressed, and with adieux to Wavell and Forbes,
who ran a mess of their own, the guests departed from the Bristol
Bar and entered the Officers’ Mess. Here Bertram
learnt the twin delights of a native bedstead when used as a
seat. You can either sit on the narrow wooden edge until
you feel as though you have been sitting on a hot wire for a
week, or you can slide back on to the string part and slowly,
slowly disappear from sight, and from dinner.
“This water drawn from the river and been standing in
the bath all day, boy?”
“Han, [168b]
Sahib,” replied that worthy.
“Alum in the water?”
“Han, Sahib.”
“Water then filtered?”
“Han, Sahib.”
“Water then boiled?”
“Han, Sahib.”
“Pukka boiled?”
“Han, Sahib, all bubbling.”
“Filtered again? You saw it all done
yourself?”
“Han, Sahib.”
“That’s all right, then,” concluded the
Major.
This catechism was the invariable prelude to the Major’s
use of water for drinking purposes, whether in the form of
aqua pura, whisky and water, or tea. For the only
foe that Major Mallery feared was the disease-germ. To
bullet and bayonet, shrapnel and shell-splinter, he gave no
thought. To cholera, enteric and dysentery
he gave much, and if care with his drinking water would do it, he
intended to avoid those accursed scourges of the tropics.
Holding up the glass to the light of the hurricane lamp which
adorned the clothless table of packing-case boards, he gazed
through it—as one may do when caressing a glass of crusted
ruby port—and mused upon the wisdom that had moved him to
make it the sole and special work of one special man to see that
he had a plentiful supply of pure fair water.
He gazed. . . . And slowly his idle abstracted gaze
became a stare and a glare. His eyes protruded from his
head, and he gave a yell of gasping horror and raging wrath that
drew the swift attention of all—
While round and round in the alum-ised, filtered, boiled and
re-filtered water, there slowly swam—a little fish.
* * * * *
Dinner was painfully similar to that at M’paga, save
that the party, being smaller, was more of a Happy Family.
It began with what Vereker called “Chatty” soup
(because it was “made from talkative meat, in a
chattie”), proceeded to inedible bully-beef, and terminated
with dog-biscuit and coco-nut—unless you chose to eat your
daily banana then.
During dinner, another officer, who had been out all day on a
reconnaissance-patrol, joined the party, drank a pint of
rum-and-coco-nut milk and fell asleep on the bedstead whereon he
sat. He looked terribly thin and ill.
Macke punched him in the ribs, sat him up, and banged the tin
plate of cold soup with his knife till the idea of
“dinner” had penetrated the sleepy brain of the
new-corner. “Feed yer face, Murie,” he shouted
in his ear.
“Thanks awf’ly,” said that gentleman, took
up his spoon, and toppled over backwards on to the bed with a
loud snore.
“Disgustin’ manners,” said Gussie Augustus
Gus.
“I wish we had a siphon of soda-water. I’d
wake him all right.”
“Set him on fire,” suggested Vereker.
“He’s too beastly wet, the sneak,”
complained Gussie.
“Oah, he iss sleepee,” observed Lieutenant
Bupendranath Chatterji.
Vereker regarded him almost with interest.
“What makes you think so?” he asked
politely. In the laugh that followed, the sleeper was
forgotten and remained where he was until Stand-to the following
morning. He was living on quinine and his
nerves—which form an insufficient diet in tropical
Africa.
“Where Bwana sleeping to-night, sah, please
Mister?” whispered Ali, as, dinner finished, Bertram sat
listening with deep interest to the conversation.
Pipes alight, and glasses, mugs and condensed milk tins
charged, the Mess was talking of all things most distant and
different from jungle swamps and dirty, weary war. . . .
“Quite most ’sclusive Society in Oxford, I tell
you,” Gussie was saying. “Called ourselves
The Astronomers. . . .”
“What the devil for? Because you were generally
out at night?” asked Macke.
“No—because we studied the Stars—of the
Stage,” was the reply. . . .
“Rotten,” said Vereker, with a shiver.
“You sh’d have called yourselves The
Botanists,” he added a minute later.
“Why?”
“Because you culled Peroxide Daisies and Lilies of the
Ballet.”
“Ghastly,” observed Gussie, with a shudder.
“And cull is a beastly word. One who culls is
a cully. . . . How’d you like to be called
Cully, Murie?” he shouted in that officer’s
ear. Receiving no reply, he pounded upon the
sleeper’s stomach with one hand while violently rolling his
head from side to side with the other.
Murie awoke.
“Whassup?” he jerked out nervously.
“How’d you like to be called Cully?”
shouted Gussie again.
Murie fixed a glassy eye on him. His face was chalky
white and his black hair lay dank across his forehead.
“Eh?” said he.
Gussie repeated his enquiry.
“Call me anything—but don’t call me
early,” was the reply, as he realised who and where he was,
and closed his eyes again.
“You’re an ornament to the Mess.
You add to the gaiety of nations. You ought
to be on the halls,” shouted the tormentor.
“You’re a refined Society Entertainer. . .
.”
“Eh?” grunted Murie.
“Come for a walk in the garden I said,” shouted
Augustus. “Oh, you give me trypanosomiasis to look at
you,” he added.
“You go to Hell,” replied Murie, and snored as he
finished speaking.
Bertram felt a little indignant.
“Wouldn’t it be kinder to let him sleep?” he
said.
“No, it wouldn’t,” was the reply.
“He’ll sleep there for an hour, and then go over to
his hut and be awake all night because he’s had no
dinner.”
“I beg your pardon,” said Bertram—and asked
the Major where he was to sleep that night.
“On your right side, with your mouth shut,” was
the reply; to which Augustus added:
“Toe of the right foot in line with the mouth; thumb in
rear of the seam of the pyjamas; heel of the left foot in the
hollow of the back; and weight of the body on the
chin-strap—as laid down in the drill-book.”
“Haven’t you a tent?” asked the Major, and,
in learning that Bertram had not, said that a banda should
be built for him on the morrow, and that he could sleep on or
under the Mess table that night. . . .
When the Major had returned to his tent with the remark
“All lights out in fifteen minutes,” Ali set up
Bertram’s bed in the Mess banda, and in a few
minutes the latter was alone. . . . As he sat removing his
boots, Bertram was surprised to see Gussie Augustus Gus return to
the Mess, carrying a native spear and a bundle of white
material. Going to where Murie lay, he raised the spear and
drove it with all his force—apparently into Murie’s
body! Springing to his feet, Bertram saw that the spear was
stuck into the clay and that the shaft, protruding through the
meshes of the bed string, stood up beside Murie. Throwing
the mosquito-net over the top of it, Gussie enveloped the sleeper
in its folds, as well as he could, and vanished.
Bertram was awakened at dawn by the bustle and stir of
Stand-to. He arose and dressed, by the simple process of
putting on his boots and helmet, which, by reason of rain, wind, mud
and publicity, were the only garments he had removed.
Proceeding to that face of the fort which was to be his special
charge, he found that one half of its defenders were lining its
water-logged trench, and the other half, its wall. It was a
depressing hour and place. Depressing even to one who had
not slept in his wet clothes and arisen with throbbing head,
horrible mouth, aching limbs and with the sense of a great
sinking void within.
Around the fort was a sea of withering brushwood, felled
trees, scrub and thorn, grey and ugly: inside the fort, a lake of
mud. Burly Subedar-Major Luxman Atmaram seemed cheery and
bright, so Bertram endeavoured to emulate him.
The Major, accompanied by Vereker (who called himself Station
Staff Officer, Aide-de-camp to the O.C. Troops, Assistant Provost
Marshal, and other sonorous names), passed on his tour of
inspection. Bertram saluted.
“Good morning, sir,” said he.
“Think so?” said the Major, and splashed upon his
way.
“Good morning, Vereker,” said Bertram, as that
gentleman passed.
“Nothing of the sort. Wrong again,” replied
Vereker, and splashed upon his way.
Both were wearing the Stand-to face, and looked coldly upon
Bertram, who was not.
After “Dismiss,” Bertram returned to the Mess
banda.
“Good morning, Greene,” said the Major, and:
“Good morning, Greene,” echoed Vereker.
Bertram decided that his not being properly dressed in the
matter of the Stand-to face, was overlooked or condoned, in view
of his youth and inexperience. . . . The vast metal teapot
and a tray of dog-biscuits made their appearance.
“I’m going to have my bloater now,” said
Berners, plucking a banana from the weary-looking bunch.
“Will someone remind me that I have had it, if I go to take
another?”
“I will,” volunteered Augustus. “Any
time you pluck a bloater and I hit you on the head three times
with the tent-peg mallet, that means ‘Nay,
Pauline.’ See?” . . .
“What’s the Programme of Sports for to-day,
sir?” asked Berners of the Major, as he cleansed his
fingers of over-ripe banana upon Augustus’s silky hair.
“Macke takes a strong Officer’s Patrol
towards Muru,” replied the Major. “Halke starts
getting the trenches deepened a bit. You can wrestle with
commissariat and ammunition returns, and the others might do a
bit of parade and physical jerks or something this morning.
I’m going to sneak round and catch the pickets on the
hop. You’d better come with me, Greene, and see where
they’re posted. Tell the Subedar-Major what you want
your men to do. Wavell’s taking his people for a
march. Murie will be in charge of the fort. . .
.”
“Murie has temperature of one hundred and five,”
put in Lieutenant Bupendranath Chatterji. “He has
fever probably.”
“Shouldn’t be at all surprised,” observed
the Major dryly. “What are you giving him?”
“Oah, he will be all right,” was the reply.
“I’ve got three fresh limes I pinched from that
shamba,” [173] said
Augustus. “If he had those with a quart of boiling
water and half a tin of condensed milk, he might be able to do a
good sweat and browse a handful of quinine.”
“No more condensed milk,” said Berners.
“Greene had the last tin last night, and the hog
didn’t bring any with him.”
“I shall be delighted to contribute the remainder of
it,” said Bertram, looking into his tin.
“There’s quite three-quarters of it left.”
“Good egg,” applauded Augustus. “If
you drink your tea from the tin, you’ll get the flavour of
milk for ever so long,” and Ali having been despatched to
the cook-house for a kettle of boiling water, Augustus fetched
his limes and the two concocted the brew with their condensed
milk and lime-juice in an empty rum-jar.
“What about a spot of whisky in it?” suggested
Vereker.
“Better without it when fever is violent,” opined
the medical attendant, and Augustus, albeit doubtfully, accepted
the obiter dicta, as from one who should know.
“Shall I shove it into him through the oil-funnel if he
is woozy?” he asked, and added: “Better not,
p’r’aps. Might waste half of it down his lungs
and things . . .” and he departed, in search of his
victim.
As Bertram left the boma in company of the Major, he
found it difficult to realise that, only a few hours earlier he
had not set eyes on the place. He seemed to have been
immured within its walls of mud and wattle for days, rather than
hours.
About the large clearing that lay on that side of the fort,
Sepoys, servants, porters and askaris came and went upon
their occasions; the stretcher-bearers, gun-teams, and a company
of Gurkhas were at drill; and in the trenches, the long, weedy
bodies of the Kavirondo rose and fell as they dug in the mud and
clay. Near the gate a doleful company of sick and sorry
porters squatted and watched a dresser of the Indian Subordinate
Medical Department, as he sprinkled iodoform from a pepperbox on
to the hideous sores and wounds of a separate squad requiring
such treatment. The sight of an intensely black back, with
a huge wound of a glowing red, upon which fell a rain of
brilliant yellow iodoform, held Bertram’s spell-bound gaze,
while it made him feel exceedingly sick. Those patients
suffering from ghastly sores and horrible festering wounds seemed
gay and lighthearted and utterly indifferent, while the
remainder, suffering from tumbo, [174] fever, cold in the head, or
world-weariness, appeared to consider themselves at the last
gasp, and each, like the Dying Gladiator, did lean his head upon
his hand while his manly brow consented to Death, but conquered
agony.
“The reason why the African will regard a gaping wound,
or great festering sore, with no more than mild interest, while
he will wilt away and proceed to perish if he has a stomach-ache
is an interestin’ exemplification of omne ignotum pro
magnifico,” remarked the Major.
Bertram stared at his superior officer in amazement. The
tone and language were utterly different from those hitherto
connected, in Bertram’s experience, with that
gentleman. Was this a subtle mockery of Bertram as a
civilian Intellectual? Or was it that the Major liked to be
“all things to all men” and considered this the style
of conversation likely to be suitable to the occasion?
“Yes, sir?” said Bertram, a trifle shortly.
“Yes,” continued Major Mallery. “He
believes that all internal complaints are due to Devils. A
stomach-ache is, to him, painful and irrefragible proof that he
hath a Devil. One has entered into him and abideth.
It’s no good telling him anything to the
contrary—because he can feel It there, and surely
he’s the best judge of what he can feel? So any internal
complaint terrifies him to such an extent that he dies of
fright—whereas he’ll think nothing of a wound that
would kill you or me. . . .”
Here, apparently, the Major’s mocking fancy tired, or
else his effort to talk “high-brow” to an
Intellectual could be no further sustained, for he fell to lower
levels with the remark:
“Rum blokes. . . Dam’ funny. . .” and
fell silent.
A well-trodden mud path led down to the river, on the far side
of which was the water-picket commanding the approach, not to a
ford, but to the only spot where impenetrable jungle did not
prevent access to the river. . . .
“Blighters nearly copped us badly down here before we
built the fort,” said the Major. “Look in here
. . .” and he parted some bushes beside the path and
disappeared. Following him, Bertram found himself in a
long, narrow clearing cut out of the solid jungle and parallel
with the path.
“They had a hundred men at least, in here,” said
Major Mallery, “and you might have come along the path a
hundred times without spotting them. There was a
machine-gun up that tree, to deal with the force behind the point
of ambush, and a big staked pit farther down the path to catch
those in front who ran straight on. . . . Lovely trap. . .
. They used to occupy it from dawn to sunset every day,
poor fellers. . . .”
“What happened?” asked Bertram.
“Our Intelligence Department learnt all about it from
the local shenzis, and we forestalled them one merry
morn. They were ambushed in their own ambush. . . .
The shenzi doesn’t love his Uncle Fritz a bit.
No appreciation of Kultur-by-kiboko. He calls
the Germans ‘the Twenty-Five Lashes People,’
because the first thing the German does when he goes to a village
is to give everybody twenty-five of the best, by way of
introducing himself and starting with a proper
understanding. Puts things on a proper footing from the
beginning. . . .”
“Their askaris are staunch enough, aren’t
they?” asked Bertram.
“Absolutely. They are well paid and well fed, and
they are allowed to do absolutely as they like in the way of
loot, rape, arson and murder, once the fighting is over. . .
. They flog them most unmercifully for disciplinary
offences—and the nigger understands that. Also they
leave the defeated foe—his village, crops, property, women,
children and wounded—to their mercy—and the nigger
understands that too. . . . Our askaris are
not nearly so contented with our milder punishments, cumbrous
judicial system, and absolute prohibition of loot, rape, arson
and the murder of the wounded. Yes—the German
askari will stick to the German so long as he gets the
conqueror’s rights whenever he conquers—as is the
immemorial law and custom of Africa. . . .
‘What’s the good of fighting a cove if you’re
going to cosset and coddle him directly you’ve won, and
give him something out of the poor-box—instead of
dismembering him?’ says he. . . . You might say the
askari-class is to the Native what the Junker-class is to
the peasant, in Germany.”
And conversing thus, the two officers visited the pickets and
the sentries, who sat on machans in the tops of high trees
and, in theory at any rate, scoured the adjacent country with
tireless all-seeing eye.
Returning to the fort, Bertram saw the materials for his own
private freehold residence being carried to the eligible site
selected for its erection by the united wisdom of the Station
Staff Officer and the Quartermaster. It was built and
furnished in less than an hour by a party of Kavirondo, who used
no other tools than their pangas, and it consisted of a
framework of stout saplings firmly planted in the ground, wattle,
and thatched leaves, twigs and grass. It had a window-frame
and a doorway, and it kept out the sun and the first few drops of
a shower of rain. If a banda does little else, it
provides one’s own peculiar place apart, where one can be
private and alone. . . . On the table and shelf—of
sticks bound together with strips of bark—Ali set forth his
master’s impedimenta, and took a pride in the Home. . .
.
Finding that the spine-pad of quilted red flannel—which
Murray had advised him to get and to wear buttoned on to the
inner side of his shirt, as a protection against the sun’s
actinic rays—was soaked with perspiration, Bertram gave it
to Ali that it might be dried. What he did not foresee was
that his faithful retainer would tie a long strip of bark from
the new banda to the opposite one across the
“street,” and pin the red flannel article to flap in
the breeze and the face of the passer-by. . . .
“Oh, I say, you fellers, look here!” sang out the
voice of Gussie Augustus Gus, as Bertram was finishing his shave,
a few minutes later. “Here’s that careless fellow,
Greene, been and left his chest-protector off! . . .
It’s on the line to air, and I don’t know what
he’s doing without it.” The voice broke with
anguish and trouble as it continued: “Perhaps running about
with nothing on at all. . . . On his chest, I mean. . .
.”
There was a laugh from neighbouring bandas and tents
where Vereker, Berners, Halke and “Leesey” Lindsay
were washing by their cottage doors, preparatory to
breakfast.
Bertram blushed hotly in the privacy of his hut.
Chest-protector! Confound the fellow’s
impudence—and those giggling’ idiots. He had
half a mind to put his head out and remark; “The laughter
of fools is as the crackling of thorns beneath a pot,” and
in the same moment wiser counsels prevailed.
Thrusting a soapy face out of the window, he said, in a tone
expressive more of sorrow than of anger:
“I am surprised at you, Clarence! . . . To
laugh at the infirmities of your elders! . . . Is it
my fault I have housemaid’s knee?”
To which Augustus, with tears in his eyes and voice,
replied:
“Forgive me, Pappa. I have known trouble
too. I had an Aunt with a corn. . . .
She wore one. . . . Pink, like yours. . . .
Poignant. . . . Searching. . . .”
This cheerful and indefatigable young gentleman had, in his
rôle of Mess President, found time, after parade and
kit-inspection that morning, to prepare a breakfast
menu. Consulting it, Bertram discovered promise
of
1. Good Works. Taken out of
some animal, or animals, unknown. Perhaps Liver.
Perhaps not. Looks rather poignant.
2. Shepherd’s Bush (or is it Plaid or Pie?)
or Toed-in-the-Hole. Same as above, bedded down in
manioc. Looks very poignant.
3. There were Sausages on Toast, but they are in
bad odour, uppish, and peevish to the eye, and there is no
bread.
4. Curried Bully-beef. God help us.
And Dog-biscuit.
5. Arm of monkey. No ’arm in
that? But—One rupee reward is offered for a
missing Kavirondo baby. Answers to the name of Horatio, and
cries if bitten in the stomach. . . . Searching.
“Great news,” quoth the author of this document,
seating himself on the bed-frame beside Bertram and eyeing a
plate of Good Works without enthusiasm.
“There’s to be a General Court-Martial after
breakfast. You and I and Berners. Leesey Lindsay is
prosecuting a bloke for spying and acting as guide to German
raiding parties—him bein’ a British subjick an’
all. . . Splendid! . . . Shall we hang him or shoot
him? . . .”
“I am Provost-Marshal,” put in Vereker,
“and I shall hang him. I know exactly how to
hang, and am a recognised good hanger. Anyhow, no one has
complained. . . . Wish we had some butter. . . .”
“Whaffor?” asked Augustus.
“Grease the rope,” was the reply.
“They like it. Butter is awfully good.”
“Put the knot under the left ear, don’t
you?” asked Augustus.
“I do,” answered Vereker. “Some
put it under the right. . . . I have seen it at the
back. Looks bad, though. Depressin’.
Bloke hangs his head. Mournful sight. . . .”
“Got any rope?” enquired Augustus.
“No! . . . How thoughtless of me! . . .
Never mind—make up something with strips of bark. . .
. Might let the bloke make his own—only himself to
blame, then, if it broke and he met with an accident.”
“I have heard of suicides—and—people
hanging themselves with their braces,” observed
Augustus.
“Wadego shenzis don’t have braces,”
replied Vereker.
“No, but Greene does. I’m perfectly sure
he’d be delighted to lend you his. He’s
kindness itself. Or would you rather he were shot,
Greene? We must remember there’s no blood about a
hanging, whereas there’s lots the other
way—’specially if it’s done by askaris
with Martinis. . . . On the other hand, hanging lasts
longer. I dunno what to advise for the best. . .
.”
“Suppose we try him first,” suggested Bertram.
“Of course!” was the somewhat indignant
reply. “I’m surprised at you,
Greene. You wouldn’t put him to the edge of the sword
without a trial, would you?”
“No, Greene,” added Vereker. “Not
goin’ to waste a good shenzi like that.
We’re goin’ to have a jolly good Court-Martial out of
him before we do him in. . . . And I shall hang him,
Clarence—rope or no rope.”
“May I swing on his feet, Vereker?” begged
Augustus. “Do let me! . . . Be a sport.
. . .”
“Everything will be done properly and nicely,” was
the reply, “and in the best style. There will be no
swinging on the prisoner’s legs while I’m M.C. . .
. Not unless the prisoner himself suggests it,” he
added.
“How’ll we tell him of his many blessin’s,
and so on?” enquired Berners.
“There’s an Arab blighter of Lindsay’s who
professes to know a tongue spoken by a porter who knows
Wadego. The bloke talks to the porter in Wadego, the porter
talks to the Arab in the Tongue, the Arab talks to Wavell in
Arabic, and Wavell talks to us in any language we
like—French, German, Swahili, Hindustani, Latin, Greek,
American, Turkish, Portuguese, Taal or even English. He
knows all those. . . .”
“Let’s ask him to talk them all at once, while we
smoke and quaff beakers of rum,” suggested Augustus.
“And I say—couldn’t we torture the
prisoner? I know lots of ripping tortures.”
“Well, I’m not going to have him ripped,”
vetoed Vereker. “You gotter hand him over to the
Provost-Marshal in good condition. . . Fair wear and tear
of trial and incarceration allowed for, of course. . . .
Bound to be some depreciation, I know.”
“What’s ‘to incarcerate’ mean,
exactly?” enquired Augustus.
“Same as ‘incinerate.’”
“Can we do it to him by law?” asked Augustus.
“You read the Orders, my lad,” replied
Vereker. “On the notice-board in the Orderly
Room. That post’s the Orderly Room. Written and
signed by the Station Staff Officer. And look up Field and
General Court-Martials in the King’s Regulations and
you’ll know what your Powers are.”
“I say, Berners. Let me find you the least
contrary of those turned sausages, and have it nicely fried for
you,” begged Augustus. “You’d hardly
taste anything awkward about it if you had some lemon-peel done
with it. Plenty of lemon-peel and some coco-nut.
I’ll find the peel I threw away this morning. . . .
Do.”
“This is very kind and thoughtful of you, Gussie.
What’s the idea?” replied Berners.
“I want to propitiate you, Berners. You’ll
be President of the Court-Martial.”
“And?”
“I want you to promise you won’t have the prisoner
found Guilty unless Vereker promises to let me swing on his feet.
. . . I’ve never once had the chance. . .
. And now my chance has come. . . . And Vereker feels
thwartful. . . . It’s due to his having a
boil—and no cushion with him. . . . Be a good soul,
Berners. . . ”
“Let’s see the sausages,” said the
President-elect.
“That’s done it,” admitted Augustus, and
dropped the subject with a heavy sigh.
Bertram noticed that, in spite of his flow of cheery nonsense,
Augustus ate nothing at all and looked very ill indeed. He
remembered a sentence he had read in a book on board the
Elymas:
“Comedy lies lightly upon all things, like foam upon the
dark waters. Beneath are tragedy and the tears of
time.”
After breakfast Bertram attended Court, which was a table
under a tree, and took his seat on the Bench, an inverted pail,
as a Ruler and a Judge, for the first and last time in his
life. He felt that it was a strange and terrible thing that
he should thus be suddenly called upon to try a man for his
life.
Suppose that his two fellow-judges, Berners and Clarence,
disagreed as to the death-sentence, and he had to give his
verdict, knowing that a man’s life depended on it! . .
.
A couple of askaris of the King’s African Rifles,
police-orderlies of “Leesey” Lindsay’s, brought
in the prisoner. He was a powerful and decidedly
evil-looking negro, clad in a striped petticoat. He had
more of the appearance of furtive intelligence than is usual with
shenzis of his tribe. Bertram decided that he
carried his guilt in his face and had trickster and traitor
written all over it. He then rebuked himself for
pre-judging the case and entertaining prejudice against an
untried, and possibly innocent, man.
“Guilty,” said Augustus Gus.
“Who’s coming for a walk?”
“I’m President of this Court,” replied
Berners. “Who asked you to open your head? If
I’m not sure as to his guilt, I may consult you
later. Or I may not.”
“Look here, Berners—let’s do the thing
properly,” was the reply. “There’s a
Maxim—or is it a Hotchkiss—of English Law which says
that a man is to be considered Guilty until he is proved to be
Innocent. Therefore we start fair. He is Guilty, I
say. Now we’ve got to prove him Innocent. Do be
a sport, and give the poor blighter a show.”
“I b’lieve it’s the other way about,”
said Berners.
“Oh, indeed!” commented Augustus.
“You’d say the feller’s innocent and then start
in to prove him guilty, would you? . . . Dirty trick, I
call it. Filthy habit.”
Wavell appeared at the entrance to his tent, holding a green,
silk-covered book in his hand. The cover was richly
embroidered and had a flap, like that of an envelope, provided
with strings for tying it down. It was a copy of the Koran,
and on it all witnesses were sworn, repeating an oath
administered by Wavell in Arabic. . . .
“Ready?” asked he of the President, and proceeded
with great patience, skill and knowledge of languages and
dialects, to interpret the statements of Wadegos, Swahilis,
Arabs, and assorted Africans. Occasionally it was beyond
his power, or that of any human being, to convey the meaning of
some simple question to a savage mind, and to get a rational
answer.
For the prosecution, Lindsay, who was down with dysentery, had
produced fellow-villagers of the accused, from each of whom
Wavell obtained the same story.
Prisoner was enamoured of a daughter of the headman of the
village, and, because his suit was dismissed by this gentleman,
he had led a German raiding-party to the place, and, moreover,
had shown them where hidden treasures were cached, and
where fowls, goats, and cattle had been penned in the jungle, and
where grain was stored. Also, he had “smelt
out” enemies of the Germanis among his former
neighbours, wicked men who, he said, had led English
raiding-parties into the country of the Germanis, and had
otherwise injured them. These enemies of the
Germanis were all, as it happened, enemies of his own. . .
. When this raiding-party of askaris, led by half a
dozen Germanis, had burnt the village, killed all the
villagers who had not escaped in time, and carried off all they
wanted in the way of livestock, women, grain and gear, they had
rewarded accused with a share of the loot. . . .
“Do they all tell the same tale in the same way, as
though they had concocted it and learnt it by heart?” asked
Bertram.
“No,” replied Wavell. “I didn’t
get that impression.”
“Let’s question them one by one,”
said Berners.
A very, very old man, a sort of “witch-doctor” or
priest, by his ornaments, entered the witness-box—otherwise
arose from the group of witnesses and stood before the
Court—to leeward by request.
“Hullo, Granpa! How’s things?” said
Augustus.
The ancient ruin mumbled something in Swahili, and peered with
horny eyes beneath rheumy, shrivelled lids at the Court, as he
stood trembling, his palsied head ashake.
“Don’t waggle your head at me,
Rudolph,” said Augustus severely, as the old man fixed him
with a wild and glassy eye. “I’m not
going to uphold you. . . . Pooh! What an odour
of sanctity! You’re a high priest,
y’know,” and murmured as he sought his handkerchief,
“Poignant! . . . Searching. . . .”
The old man repeated his former mumble.
“He says he did not mean to steal the tobacco,”
interpreted Wavell.
“Sort of accident that might happen to anybody,
what?” observed Augustus. “Ask him if he knows
the prisoner.”
The question was put to him in his own tongue, and
unfalteringly he replied that he had not meant to steal the
tobacco—had not really stolen it, in fact.
Patiently Wavell asked, and patiently he was answered.
“Do you know the prisoner?”
“I never steal.”
“Do you know this man?”
“Tobacco I would never steal.”
“What is this man’s name?”
“Tobacco.”
“Have you ever seen that man before?”
“What man?”
“This one.”
“Yes. He is the prisoner.”
“When have you seen him before?”
“Last night.”
“When, before that?”
“He ate rice with us last night. He is the
prisoner.”
“Do you know him well?”
“Yes, I know he is the prisoner. He stole
the tobacco.”
“Have you known him long?”
“No. He is only a young man. He
steals tobacco.”
“Does he come from your village?”
“Yes.”
“Have you known him all his life?”
“No, because he went and spent some time in the
Germanis’ country. I think he went to steal
tobacco.”
“Did he come back alone from the Germanis’
country?”
“No. He brought askaris and
muzangos. [183a] They
killed my people and burnt my village.”
“You are sure it was this man who brought
them?”
“Is he not a prisoner?”
Suddenly an ancient hag arose from the group of witnesses and
bounded into Court. At the feet of Wavell she poured forth
a torrent of impassioned speech.
“Cheer up, Auntie!” quoth Augustus, and as the
woman ceased, added: “Ask her if she’d come to Paris
for the week-end.”
“What does she say?” enquired the President of the
Court.
“In effect—that she will be security for
witness’s good behaviour, as he is her only child
and never steals tobacco. He only took the tobacco because
he wanted a smoke. He is ninety years of age, and a good
obedient son to her. It is her fault for not looking after
him better. She hopes he will not be hung, as she is
already an orphan, and would then be a childless orphan. . .
. She undertakes to beat him with a runga.” [183b]
“Does she identify prisoner as the man who led the
German raiding-party?” asked Bertram, after Augustus had
called for three loud cheers for the witness, had been himself
called to order by the President, and had threatened that he
would not play if further annoyed by that official.
Again, in careful Swahili, Wavell endeavoured to find traces
of evidence for or against the accused.
“Do you know this man?”
“Yes, Bwana.”
“Who is he?”
“The prisoner, Bwana Macouba (Great
Master).”
“Why is he a prisoner?”
“Because he brought the Germanis to Pongwa, oh,
Bwana Macouba Sana (Very Great Master).”
“How do you know he brought the Germanis to
Pongwa?”
“Because he has been made prisoner for doing so,
oh, Bwana Macouba Kabeesa Sana (Very Greatest
Master).”
“Do you know anything about him?”
“He is the man who stole the tobacco which my little boy
took.”
All being translated and laid before the Court, it was decided
that, so far, prisoner was scarcely proven guilty.
“Let’s ask him whether he would like to say
anything as to the evidence of the last two witnesses,”
suggested Bertram.
“He doesn’t understand Swahili,” objected
Berners.
“I feel sure he does,” replied Bertram.
“I have been watching his face. He half grinned when
they talked about tobacco, and looked venomous when they talked
about him.”
“Do you understand Swahili?” asked Wavell,
suddenly, of the prisoner.
“No, not a word,” replied that individual in the
same tongue.
“Can you speak it?”
“No, not a word,” he reaffirmed in Swahili.
“Well—did the last two witnesses tell the truth
about you?”
“They did not. I have never seen them
before. They have never seen me before. I do not know
where Pongwa is. I think this is a very fine trial. I
like it.”
Other witnesses swore that the accused had indeed done the
treacherous deed. One swore with such emphasis and
certainty that he carried conviction to the minds of the
Court—until it was discovered that witness was swearing
that prisoner had stolen a bundle of leaf-tobacco from the son of
the woman who was an orphan. . . .
The Court soon found that it could tell when a point was
scored against the defendant, without waiting for translation,
inasmuch as he always seized his stomach with both hands,
groaned, rolled his eyes, and cried that he was suffering
horribly from tumbo, when evidence was going
unfavourably.
At length all witnesses had been examined, even unto the last,
who swore he was the prisoner’s brother, and that he saw
the prisoner leading the Germanis and, lo, it wasn’t
his brother at all, and concluded with: “Yes—this is
true evidence. I have spoken well. I can prove it,
for I can produce the sufuria [184] which prisoner
gave me to say that I am his brother, and to speak these truths.
He is my
innocent brother, and was elsewhere when he led the
Germanis to Pongwa.”
“Let’s give him something out of the
poor-box,” suggested Augustus when this speech was
interpreted, and then marred this intimation of kindly feelings
by adding: “and then hang the lot of them.”
“Has the prisoner anything to say?” asked the
President.
The prisoner had.
“This is a good trial,” quoth he, in
Swahili. “I am now an important man. All the
witnesses are liars. I have never seen any of them
before. I do not associate with such. I have never
seen Pongwa, and I have never seen a Germani. I will
tell . . .”
Wavell looked at him suddenly, but made no movement.
“Noch nichte!” said he in German, very
quietly.
The man stopped talking at once.
“You understand German. You speak German!”
said Wavell, in that language, and pointing at him
accusingly. “Answer quickly. You speak
German.”
“Ganz klein wenig—just a very
little,” replied the prisoner, adding in English: “I
am a very clever man”—and then, in German:
“Ich hab kein Englisch.”
“Prisoner has never seen a Germani—but he
understands German!” wrote Bertram in his notes of the
trial. “Also Swahili and English.”
“Please ask him if he hasn’t had enough trial now,
and wouldn’t he like to be hanged to save further
trouble,” said Augustus.
“Tiffin tyar hai, [185]
Sahib,” said the Mess butler, approaching the
President, and the Court adjourned.
The afternoon session of the Court proved dull up to the
moment when the lady who was an orphan and the mother of the
ninety-year-old, bounded into Court with a scream of:
“Ask him where he got his petticoat!”
Apparently this was very distressful to the defendant, for he
was instantly seized with violent stomachic pains.
“Poignant! . . . Searching! . . .” murmured
Augustus.
“Where did you get that ’Mericani?”
asked Wavell of the prisoner, pointing to his only garment.
“He got it from the Germanis. It was part
of his share of the loot,” screamed the old
lady. “It is from my own shop. I know it by
that mark,” and she pointed to a trade-mark and number
stencilled in white paint upon the selvedge of the
loin-cloth.
Terrible agonies racked the prisoner as he replied: “She
is a liar.”
“Trade-mark don’t prove much,” remarked the
President. “My pants and vest might have same
trade-mark as the Kaiser’s—but that wouldn’t
prove he stole them from me.”
The sense of this remark was conveyed to the witness.
“Then see if a mark like this is not in the
corner of that piece of ’Mericani,” said the
old lady, and plucking up her own wardrobe, showed where a small
design was crudely stitched.
The askaris in charge of the prisoner quickly
demonstrated that an identical “laundry-mark”
ornamented his also. Presumably the worthy woman’s
secret price-mark, or else her monogram.
Terrific agonies seized the prisoner, and with a groan of
“Tumbo,” he sank to the ground.
A kick from each of the askaris revived him, and he
arose promptly and took a bright interest in the subsequent
proceedings, which consisted largely in the swearing by several
of the villagers that they had seen the Germanis loot the
old lady’s store and throw some pieces of the
’Mericani to the accused. Two of the witnesses
were wearing petticoats which they had bought from the female
witness, and which bore her private mark. . . .
“Gentlemen,” said the President at length,
“I should like your written findings by six o’clock
this evening, together with the sentence you would impose if you
were sole judge in this case. The Court is deeply indebted
to Captain Wavell for his courteous and most valuable assistance
as interpreter. The witnesses may be discharged, and the
prisoner removed to custody. . . . Clear the blasted Court,
in fact, and come to the Bristol Bar. . . .”
“Oh, hang it all, Berners,” objected Augustus,
“let’s hang him now. We can watch him
dangle while we have tea. . . .” But the Court had
risen, and the President was asking where the devil some bally,
fat-headed fool had put his helmet, eh? . . .
For an hour Bertram sat in his banda with throbbing,
aching head, considering his verdict. He believed the man
to be a spy and a treacherous, murderous scoundrel—but what
was really proven, save that he knew German and wore a
garment marked similarly to those of three inhabitants of
Pongwa? Were these facts sufficient to warrant the
passing of the death sentence and to justify Bertram Greene, who,
till a few days ago, was the mildest of lay civilians, to take
the responsibility of a hanging judge and imbrue his hands with
the blood of this man? If all that was suspected of him
were true, what, after all, was he but a savage, a barbarous
product of barbaric uncivilisation? . . . What right had
anyone to apply the standards of a cultured white man from London
to a savage black man from Pongwa? . . . A savage who had
been degraded and contaminated by contact with Germans moreover.
. . .
After many unsatisfactory efforts, he finally wrote out his
judgment on leaves torn from his military pocket-book, and
proposed, as verdict, that the prisoner be confined for the
duration of the war as a spy, and receive twenty-five strokes of
the kiboko for perjury. . . .
On repairing to Berners’ hut at the appointed time, he
found that Clarence had written a longer and better judgment than
his own, and had proposed as sentence that the accused be
detained during the King’s pleasure at Mombasa Gaol, since
it was evident that he had dealings with Germans and had recently
been in German East Africa. He found the charge of leading
a German raiding-party Not Proven.
The sentence of the President was that prisoner should receive
twenty lashes and two years’ imprisonment, for receiving
stolen goods, well knowing them to be stolen, and for committing
perjury.
“And that ought to dish the lad till the end of the
war,” observed he, “whereafter he’ll have
precious small use for his German linguistic lore—unless he
goes to Berlin for the Iron Cross or a Commission in the
Potsdammer Poison-Gas Guards, or somethin’,
what?”
There was a sound of revelry by night, at the Bristol
Bar. A Plum Pudding had arrived. Into that lonely
outpost, where men languished and yearned for potatoes, cabbage,
milk, cake, onions, beer, steaks, chocolate, eggs,
cigarettes, bacon, fruit, coffee, bread, fish, jam, sausages,
honey, sugar, ham, tobacco, pastry, toast, cheese, wine and other
things of which they had almost forgotten the taste, a Plum
Pudding had drifted. When it had begun to seem that food
began and ended with coco-nut, maize, bully-beef and
dog-biscuit—a Plum Pudding rose up to rebuke error.
At least, it was going to do so. At present it lay,
encased in a stout wooden box and a soldered sarcophagus of tin,
at the feet of the habitués of the Bristol Bar, what time
they looked upon the box and found it good in their sight. . .
.
“You’ll dine with us and sample it, I hope,
Wavell?” said the Major, eyeing the box ecstatically.
“Thanks,” was the reply. “Delighted. .
. . May I bring over some brandy to burn round
it?”
“Stout fella,” said the Major warmly.
“Do we eat it as it is—or fry it, or something, or
what?” he added. “I fancy you bake ’em. .
. .”
“I believe puddings are boiled, sir,” remarked
Bertram.
“Yes—I b’lieve you’re right,
Greene,” agreed Major Mallery. . . . “I seem to
know the expression, ‘boiled plum-pudding.’ . .
. Yes—boiled plum-pudding. . . .”
“Better tell the cook to boil the bird at once,
hadn’t we?” suggested Captain Macke.
“Yes,” agreed Vereker. “I fancy
I’ve heard our housekeeper at home talk about boiling
’em for hours. Hours and hours. . . .
Sure of it.”
“But s’pose the beastly thing’s bin
boiled already—what then?” asked Augustus.
“Bally thing’d dissolve, I tell you. . .
. Have to drink it. . . .”
“Very nice, too,” declared Halke.
“I’d sooner eat pudding and drink brandy, than
drink pudding and burn brandy,” stated Augustus
firmly. “What would we boil it in, anyhow?” he
added. “It wouldn’t go in a kettle, an’
if you let it loose in a dam’ great dekchi or
something, it’d all go to bits. . . .”
“Tie it up in a shirt or something,” said Forbes.
. . . “What’s your idea, Greene—as a man
of intellect and education?”
“I’d say boil it,” replied Bertram.
“I don’t believe they can be boiled too much.
. . . I fancy it ought to be tied up, though, as Clarence
suggests, or it might disintegrate, I suppose.”
“Who’s got a clean shirt or vest or pants
or something?” asked the Major. “Or could we
ram it into a helmet and tie it down?”
It appeared that no one had a very clean shirt, and it
happened that nobody spoke up with military promptitude and smart
alacrity when Lieutenant Bupendranath Chatterji offered to lend
his pillow-case.
“I know,” said the Major, in a tone of decision
and finality. “I’ll send for the cook, tell him
there’s a plum-pudding, an’ he can dam’ well
serve it hot for dinner as a plum-pudding ought to be
served—or God have mercy on him, for we will have none. . .
.”
And so it was. Although at first the cook protested that
the hour being seven and dinner due at seven-thirty, there was
not time for the just and proper cooking of a big
plum-pudding. But, “To hell with that for a
Tale,” said the Major, and waved pudding and cook away,
with instructions to serve the pudding steaming hot, in half an
hour, with a blaze of brandy round it, a sprig of holly stuck in
it, and a bunch of mistletoe hung above it.
“And write ‘God Bless Our Home’ on
the banda wall,” he added, as a happy
after-thought. The cook grinned. He was a Goanese,
and a good Christian cheat and liar.
The Bristol Bar settled down again to talk of Home, hunting,
theatres, clubs, bars, sport, hotels, and everything
else—except religion, women and war. . . .
“Heard about the new lad, Major?” asked
Forbes. “Real fuzzy-wuzzy dervish Soudanese.
Lord knows how he comes to be in these parts. Smelt war
like a camel smells water, I suppose. . . . Got confused
ideas about medals though. . . . Tell the tale,
Wavell.”
“Why—old Isa ibn Yakub, my
Sergeant-Major—you know Isa, six-feet-six and nine medals,
face like black satin”—began Wavell, “brought
me a stout lad—with grey hair—who looked like his
twin brother. Wanted to join my Arab Company.
He’d come from Berbera to Mombasa in a dhow, and then
strolled down here through the jungle. . . . Conversation
ran somewhat thus:
“‘You want to enlist in my Arab Company, do
you? Why?’
“‘I want to fight.’
“‘Against the Germanis?’
“‘Anybody.’
“‘You know what the pay is?’
“‘Yes. It is enough. But I also want
my Omdurman medal—like that worn by Isa ibn
Yakub.’
“‘Oh—you have fought before? And at
Omdurman.’
“‘Yes. And I want my medal.’
“‘You are sure you fought at Omdurman?’
“‘Yes. Was I not wounded there and left for
dead? Look at this hole through my side, below my
arm. I want my medal—like that of Isa ibn
Yakub.’
“‘How is it that you have not got it, if you
fought there as you say?’
“‘They would not give it to me. I want you
to get it for me.’
“‘I do not believe you fought at Omdurman at
all.’
“‘I did. Was I not shot there?’
“‘Were you in a Soudanese Regiment?’
“‘No.’
“‘What then?’
“‘In the army of Our Lord the Mahdi. And I
was shot in front of the line of British soldiers who wear
petticoats! . . .’”
“Did you take him?” asked the Major, as the laugh
subsided.
“Rather!” was the reply. “A lad who
fought against us and expects us to give him a medal for it,
evidently thinks we are sportsmen, and probably is one
himself. I fancy he’s done a lot of mixed fighting at
different times. . . . Says he knew Gordon. . .
.”
The cook, Mess butler, and a deputation of servants
approached, salaamed as one man, and held their peace.
“What’s up?” asked the Major.
“Anyone dead?”
“The Pudding, sah,” said the cook, and all the
congregation said, “The Pudding.”
A painful brooding silence settled upon the Bristol Bar.
“If you’ve let pi-dogs or shenzis or kites
eat that pudding, they shall eat you—alive,” promised
the Major—and he had the air of one whose word is his
bond.
“Nossir,” replied the cook. “Pudding
all gone to damn. Sahib come and see. I am knowing
nothing. It is bad.”
“What?” roared the Major, and rose to his
feet.
“Sah, I am a poor man. You are my father and my
mother,” said the cook humbly, and all the congregation
said that they were poor men and that the Major was
their father and their mother.
The Major said that the congregation were liars.
“Bad?” stammered Forbes.
“Puddings can’t go bad. . . .”
“Oh, Mother, Mother!” said Augustus, and cried,
his head upon his knees.
“Life in epitome,” murmured Vereker.
“Tout lasse; tout passe; tout
casse.”
“Strike me blind!” said Halke.
“Feller’s a purple liar. . . . Must
be,” opined Berners.
“Beat the lot of them,” suggested Macke.
“Puddings keep for ever if you handle ’em
properly.”
“Yes—the brutes haven’t treated it
kindly,” said Augustus, wiping his eyes. “Here,
Vereker, you’re Provost-Marshal. Serve them so that
they go bad—and see how they like it.”
“It may just have a superficial coating of mould or
mildew that can be taken off,” said Bertram.
“Let’s go an’ interview the dam’
thing,” suggested Augustus. “We can then take
measures—or rum.”
The Bristol Bar was deserted in the twinkling of an eye as,
headed by the Major, the dozen or so of British officers sought
out the Pudding, that they might hold an inquest upon it. . .
.
Near the cooking-fire in the straw shed behind the
Officers’ Mess banda, upon some boards beside a tin
sarcophagus, lay a large green ball, suggestive of a moon made of
green cheese.
In silent sorrow the party gazed upon it, stricken and
stunned. And the congregation of servants stood afar off
and watched.
Suddenly the Major snatched up the gleaming panga that
had been used for prising open the case and for cutting open the
tin box in which the green horror had arrived.
Raising the weapon above his head, the Major smote with all
his might. Right in the centre of the Pudding the heavy,
sharp-edged blade struck and sank. . . . The Pudding fell
in halves, revealing an interior even greener and more horrible
than the outside, as a cloud of greenish, smoke-like dust went up
to the offended heavens. . . .
“Bury the damned Thing,” said the Major, and in
his wake the officers of the Butindi garrison filed out, their
hearts too full, their stomachs too empty for words.
And the servants buried the Pudding, obeying the words of the
Major.
But
in the night the Sweeper arose and exhumed the Pudding and ate of
it right heartily. And through the night of sorrow he
groaned. And at dawn he died. This is the truth.
* * * * *
Dinner that night was a silent meal, if meal it could be
called. No man dared speak to his neighbour for fear of
what his neighbour might reply. The only reference to the
Pudding was made by Augustus, who remarked, as a servant brought
in a dish of roasted maize-cobs, where the Pudding should have
come—chicken-feed where should have been Food of the
Gods—“I am almost glad poor Murie and Lindsay are so
ill that they couldn’t possibly have eaten any Pudding in
any case. . . . Seems some small compensation to ’em,
don’t it, poor devils. . . .”
“I do not think Murie will get better,” observed
Lieutenant Bupendranath Chatterji. “Fever and
dysentery, both violent, and I have not proper things. . .
.”
The silence seemed to deepen as everybody thought of the two
sick men, lying in their dirty clothes, on dirty camp-beds, in
leaky grass huts, with a choice of bully-beef, dog-biscuit,
coco-nut and maize as a dysentery diet.
Whose turn next? And what sort of a fight could the
force put up if attacked by Africans when all the Indians and
Europeans were ill with fever and dysentery? Heaven bless
the Wise Man who had kept the African Army of British East Africa
so small and had disbanded battalions of the King’s African
Rifles just before the war. What chance would Indians and
white men, who had lived for months in the most pestilential
swamp in Africa, have against salted Africans led by Germans
especially brought down from the upland health-resorts where they
lived? . . .
“Can you give me a little quinine, Chatterji?”
asked Augustus. “Got any calomel? I
b’lieve my liver’s as big as my head to-day. I
feel a corner of it right up between my lungs. Stops my
breathing sometimes. . . .”
“Oah, yees. Ha! Ha!” said the medical
gentleman. “I have a few tablets. I will
presently send you some also. . . .”
Next morning Augustus came in last to breakfast.
“Thanks for the quinine tablets, Chatterji,” said
he. “The hospital orderly brought them in his bare
palm. I swallowed all ten, however. What was
it—twenty grains?”
“Oah! That was calomel!” replied the worthy
doctor, and Augustus arose forthwith and retired, murmuring:
“Poignant! Searching!”
He had once taken a quarter of a grain of calomel, and it had
tied him in knots.
When Bertram visited Murie, Lindsay and Augustus in their
respective huts, Augustus seemed the worst of the three.
With white face, set teeth, and closed eyes, he lay bunched up,
and, from time to time, groaned, “Oh, poignant!
Searching! . . .”
It being impossible for him to march, it fell to Bertram to
take his duty that day, and lead an officers’ patrol to
reconnoitre a distant village to which, according to information
received by the Intelligence Department, a German patrol had just
paid a visit. For some reason the place had been sacked and
burnt.
It was Bertram’s business to discover whether there were
any signs of a boma having been established by this
patrol; to learn anything he could about its movements; whence it
had come and whither it had gone; whether the massacre were a
punishment for some offence, or just the result of high animal
(German) spirits; whether there were many shambas, of no
further use to slaughtered people, in which the raiders had left
any limes, bananas, papai or other fruits, vegetables, or crops;
whether any odd chicken or goat had been overlooked, and was
wanting a good home; and, in short, to find out anything that
could be found out, see all that was to be seen, do anything that
might be done. . . . As he marched out of the Fort at the
head of a hundred Gurkhas, with a local guide and interpreter, he
felt proud and happy, quite reckless, and absolutely indifferent
to his fate. He would do his best in any emergency that
might arise, and he could do no more. He’d leave it
at that.
He’d march straight ahead with a “point” in
front of him, and if he was ambushed, he was ambushed.
When they reached the village, he’d deploy into line and
send scouts into the place. If he was shot dead—a
jolly good job. If he were wounded and left lying for the
German askaris to find—or the wild beasts at night .
. . he turned from the thought.
Anyhow, he’d got good cheery, sturdy Gurkhas with him,
and it was a pleasure and an honour to serve with them.
One jungle march is precisely like another—and in three
or four hours the little column reached the village, deployed,
and skirmished into it, to find it a deserted, burnt-out
ruin. Kultur had passed that way, leaving its
inevitable and unmistakable sign-manual. The houses were
only blackened skeletons; the gardens, wildernesses; the byres,
cinder-heaps; the fruit-trees, withering wreckage. What had
been pools of blood lay here and there, with clumps of feathers,
burnt and broken utensils, remains of slaughtered domestic
animals and chickens.
Kultur had indeed passed that way. To Bertram it
seemed, in a manner, sadder that this poor barbarous little
African village should be so treated than that a walled city of
supermen should suffer. . . “Is there not more
cruelty and villainy in violently robbing a crying child of its
twopence than in snatching his gold watch from a portly
stockbroker?” thought he, as he gazed around on the scene
of ruin, desolation and destruction.
To think of Europeans finding time, energy, and occasion to
effect this in such a spot, so incredibly remote from
their marts and ways and busy haunts! Christians! . . .
Having posted sentries and chosen a spot for rally and
defence, he sent out tiny patrols along the few jungle paths that
led to the village, and proceeded to see what he could, as there
was absolutely no living soul from whom he could learn
anything. There was little that the ablest scoutmaster
could deduce, save that the place had been visited by a large
party of mischievously destructive and brutal ruffians, who wore
boots. There was nothing of use or of value that had not
been either destroyed or taken. Even papai trees that bore
no fruit had been hacked down, and the panga had been laid
to the root of tree and shrub and sugar-cane. Not a
plantain, lime, mango, or papai was to be seen.
Bertram entered one of the least burnt of the well-made huts
of thatch and wattle. There was what had been blood on the
earthen floor, blackened walls, charred stools, bed-frames and
domestic utensils. He felt sick. . . . In a corner
was a child’s bed of woven string plaited over a carved
frame. It would make a useful stool or a resting-place for
things which should not lie on the muddy floor of his
banda. He picked it up. Underneath it was a
tiny black hand with pinkish finger-tips. He dropped the
bed and was violently sick. Kultur had indeed passed
that way. . . .
Hurrying out into the sunlight, as soon as he was able to do
so, he completed his tour of inspection. There was little
of interest and nothing of importance.
Apparently the hamlet had boasted an artist, a
sculptor, some village Rodin, before the Germans came to freeze
the genial current of his soul. . . . As Bertram studied
the handiwork of the absent one, his admiration diminished,
however, and he withdrew the “Rodin.” The man
was an arrant, shameless plagiarist, a scoundrelly pick-brain
imitator, a mere copying ape, for, seen from the proper end, as
it lay on its back, the clay statue of a woman, without form and
void, boneless, wiggly, semi-deliquescent, was an absolutely
faithful and shameless reproduction of the justly world-famous
Eppstein Venus.
“The man ought to be prosecuted for infringement of
copyright,” thought Bertram, “if there is any
copyright in statues. . . .”
The patrols having returned with nothing to report, Bertram
marched back to Butindi and reported it.
And so passed the days at Butindi, with a wearisome monotony
of Stand-to, visiting the pickets, going out on patrol, improving
the defences of the boma, foraging, gathering information,
reconnoitring, trying to waylay and scupper enemy patrols,
communicating with the other British outposts, surveying and
map-making, beating off half-hearted attacks by strong
raiding-patrols—all to the accompaniment of fever,
dysentery, and growing weakness due to malnutrition and the
terrible climate.
To Bertram it all soon became so familiar and normal that it
seemed strange to think that he had ever known any other kind of
life. His chief pleasure was to talk to Wavell, that most
uncommon type of soldier, who was also philosopher, linguist,
student, traveller, explorer and ethnologist.
From the others, Bertram learnt that Wavell was, among other
things, a second Burton, having penetrated into Mecca and Medina
in the disguise of a haji, a religious pilgrim, at the
very greatest peril of his life. He had also fought, as a
soldier of fortune, for the Arabs against the Turks, whom he
loathed as only those who have lived under their rule can loathe
them. He could have told our Foreign Office many interesting
things about the Turk. (When, after he had been imprisoned
and brutally treated by them at Sanaa, in the Yemen, he had
appealed to our Foreign Office, it had sided rather with the Turk
indeed, confirming the Unspeakable One’s strong impression
that the English were a no-account race, even as the Germans
said.) So Wavell had fought against them, helping the
Arabs, whom he liked. And when the Great War broke out, he
had raised a double company of these fierce, brave, and
blood-thirsty little men in Arabia, and had drilled them into
fine soldiers. Probably no other Englishman—or
European of any sort—could have done this; but then Wavell
spoke Arabic like an Arab, knew the Koran almost by heart, and
knew his Arabs quite by heart.
That he showed a liking for Bertram was, to Bertram, a very
great source of pride and pleasure. When Wavell went out on
a reconnoitring-patrol, he went with him if he could get Major
Mallery’s permission, and the two marched through the
African jungle discussing art, poetry, travel, religion, and the
ethnological problems of Arabia—followed by a hundred or so
Arabs—Arabs who were killing Africans and being killed by
Africans, often of their own religion and blood, because a gang
of greedy materialists, a few thousand miles away, was suffering
from megalomania. . . .
Indeed to Bertram it was food for much thought that in that
tiny boma in a tropical African swamp, Anglo-Indians,
Englishmen, Colonials, Arabs, Yaos, Swahilis, Gurkhas, Rajputs,
Sikhs, Marathas, Punjabis, Pathans, Soudanese, Nubians, Bengalis,
Goanese, and a mob of assorted shenzis of the primeval
jungle, should be laying down their lives because, in distant
Berlin, a hare-brained Kaiser could not control a crowd of greedy
and swollen-headed military aristocrats.
* * * * *
“Your month’s tobacco ration, Greene,” said
Berners one morning, as he entered Bertram’s hut,
“and don’t leave your boots on the floor to
attract jigger-fleas—unless you want blood-poisoning
and guinea-worm—or is it guinea-fowl? Hang them on
the wall. . . . And look between your toes every time you
take ’em off. Jigger-fleas are, hell, once they get
under the skin and lay their eggs. . .” and he handed
Bertram some cakes of perfectly black tobacco.
“But, my dear chap, I couldn’t smoke
that,” said Bertram, eyeing the horrible stuff
askance.
“Of course you can’t smoke it,”
replied Berners.
“What can I do with it, then?” he asked.
“Anything you like. . . . I don’t care. . .
. It’s your tobacco ration, and I’ve issued it
to you, and there the matter ends. .. . You can
revet your trench parapet with it if you like—or give it to
the Wadegos to poison their arrows with. . . . Jolly useful
stuff, really. . . . Sole your boots, tile the roof of your
banda, make a parquet floor round your bed, put it in
Chatterji’s tea, make a chair seat, lay down a pathway to
the Mess, make your mother a teapot-stand, feed the
chickens—oh, lots of things. But you can’t
smoke it, of course. . . . You expect too much, my
lad. . . .”
“Why do they issue it, then?” asked Bertram.
“Same reason that they issue inedible bully-beef and
unbreakable biscuits, I s’pose—contractors must
live, mustn’t they? . . . Be reasonable. . .
.”
And again it seemed to the foolish civilian mind of this young
man that, since tons of this black cake tobacco (which no British
officer ever has smoked or could smoke) cost money, however
little—there would be more sense in spending the money on a
small quantity of Turkish and Virginian cigarettes that
could be smoked, by men accustomed to such things, and
suffering cruelly for lack of them. Throughout the campaign
he saw a great deal of this strong, black cake issued (to men
accustomed to good cigarettes, cigars or pipe-mixture), but he
never saw any of it smoked. He presented his portion to
Ali, who traded it to people of palate and stomach less delicate
than those the British Government expects the British officer to
possess. . . .
“You look seedy, Greene,” observed the Major that
same evening, as Bertram dragged himself across the black mud
from his banda to the Bristol Bar—wondering if he
would ever get there.
“Touch of fever, sir. I’m all right,”
replied he, wishing that everyone and everything were not so
nebulous and rotatory.
He did not mention that he had been up all night with
dysentery, and had been unable to swallow solid food for three
days. (Nor that his temperature was one hundred and
four—because he was unaware of the fact.) But he knew
that the moment was not far off when all his will-power
and uttermost effort would be unable to get him off his
camp-bed. He had done his best—but the worst climate
in the world, a diet of indigestible and non-nutritious food,
taken in hopelessly inadequate quantities; bad water; constant
fever; dysentery; long patrol marches; night alarms; high
nerve-tension (when a sudden bang followed by a fusillade might
mean a desultory attention, a containing action while a more
important place was being seriously attacked, or that final and
annihilating assault of a big force which was daily expected);
and the monotonous, dirty, dreary life in that evil spot, had
completely undermined his strength. He was “living on
his nerves,” and they were nearly gone. “You
look like an old hen whose neck has been half-wrung for
to-morrow’s dinner before she was found to be the wrong
one, and reprieved,” said Augustus. “You let me
make you a real, rousing cock-eye, and then we’ll have an
n’goma [198]—all the lot
of us. . . .”
But finding Bertram quite unequal to dealing with a cock-eye
or sustaining his part in a tribal dance that should
“astonish the natives,” he helped Bertram over to his
banda, took off his boots and got him a hot drink of
condensed milk and water laced with ration rum.
In the morning Bertram took his place at Stand-to and
professed himself equal to performing his duty, which was that of
making a reconnoitring-patrol as far as Paso, where there was
another outpost. . . .
Here he arrived in time for tea, and had some with real fresh
cow’s milk in it; and had a cheery buck with Major Bidwell,
Captains Tucker and Bremner, and Lieutenants Innes (another
Filbert), Richardson, Stirling, Carroll, and Jones—stout
fellows all, and very kind to him. He was very sorry indeed
when it was time for him to march back again with his patrol.
He started on the homeward journey, feeling fairly well, for
him; but he could never remember how he completed it. . . .
The darkness gathered so rapidly that he had a suspicion that
the darkness was within him. Then he found that he was
continually running into trees or being brought up short by
impenetrable bush that somehow sprang up before him. . . .
Also he was talking aloud, and rather surprised at his eloquence.
. . . Then he was lying on the ground—being put on
his feet
again—falling again . . . trying to fight a bothering swarm
of askaris with a quill pen, while he addressed the House
of Commons on the iniquity of allowing Bupendranath Chatterji to
be in medical charge of four hundred men with insufficient
material to deal with a street accident. . . . Marching
again, falling again, being put on his feet again. . . .
* * * * *
After two days on his camp-bed he was somewhat better, and on
the next day he found himself in sole command of the Butindi
outpost and a man of responsibility and pride. Urgent
messages had taken Major Mallery with half the force in one
direction, and Captain Wavell with half the remainder in
another.
Suppose there should be an attack while he was in
command! He half hoped there would be. . . .
Towards evening an alarm from a sentry and the turning out of
the guard brought him running to the main gate, shouting
“Stand-to!” as he ran.
Through his glasses he saw that a European and a small party
of natives were approaching the boma. . . .
The new-comer was an Englishman of the name of Desmont, in the
Intelligence Department, who had just made a long and dangerous
tour through the neighbouring parts of German East in search of
information. Apparently Butindi was the first British
outpost that he had struck, as he asked endless questions about
others—apparently with a view to visiting them en
route to the Base Camp. Bertram extended to him such
hospitality as Butindi could afford, and gave him all the help
and information in his power. He had a very strong
conviction that the man was disguised (whether his huge beard was
false or not), but he supposed that it was very natural in the
case of an Intelligence Department spy, scout, or secret
agent. Anyhow, he was most obviously English. . . .
While he sat in the Officers’ Mess and talked with the
man—a most interesting conversation—Ali Suleiman
entered with coco-nuts and a rum-jar. Seeing the stranger,
he instantly wheeled about and retired, sending another servant
in with the drinks. . . .
After a high-tea of coco-nut, biscuit, bully-beef, and roasted
mealie-cobs, Desmont, who looked worn out, asked if he might lie down
for a few hours before he “moved off” again.
Bertram at once took him to his own banda and bade him
make himself at home. Five minutes later came Ali with an
air of mystery to where Bertram paced up and down the “High
Street,” and asked if he might speak with him.
“That man a Germani, sah!” quoth he.
“Spy-man he is. Debbil-man. His own name
not Desmont Bwana, and he is big man in
Dar-es-Salaam and Tabora, and knowing all the big Germani
bwanas. I was his gun-boy and I go with him to
Germani East. . . . Bwana go and shoot him
for dead, sah, by damn!”
Bertram sat down heavily on a chop-box.
“What?” gasped he.
“Yessah, thank you please. One of those porters
not a shenzi at all. He Desmont Bwana’s
head boy Murad. Very bad man, sah. Master look in
this spy-man’s chop-boxes. Germani uniform in
one—under rice and posho. Master see. . .
.”
“You’re a fool, Ali,” said Bertram.
“Yessah,” said Ali, “and Desmont
Bwana a Germani spy-man. Master go an’
shoot him for dead while asleep—or tie him to tree till
Mallery Bwana coming. . . .”
Now what was to be done? Here was a case for
swift action by the “strong silent man” type of
person who thought like lightning and acted like some more
lightning.
If he did nothing and let the man go when he had rested, would
his conduct be that of a fool and a weakling who could not act
promptly and efficiently on information received—conduct
deserving the strongest censure? . . .
And if he arrested and detained one of their own Intelligence
Officers, on the word of a native servant, would he ever hear the
last of it?
“Bwana come and catch this bad man Murad,”
suggested Ali. “Bwana say,
‘Jambo, Murad ibn Mustapha! How much
rupees Desmont Bwana paying you for spy-work?’ and
Bwana see him jump! By damn, sah! Bwana
hold revolver ready.” . . .
“Does the man know English then?” asked the
perturbed and undecided Bertram.
“Yessah—all the same better as I do,” was
the reply. “And he pretending to be poor
shenzi porter. He knowing Germani too. . .
.”
At
any rate, he might look into this, and if anything
suspicious transpired, he could at least prevent Desmont from
leaving before Mallery returned.
“Has he seen you?” asked Bertram.
“No, sah, nor has Desmont Bwana,” was the
reply—and Bertram bade Ali show him where the porters
were.
They were outside the boma, squatting round a
cooking-fire near the “lines” of the Kavirondo
porters.
Approaching the little group, Bertram drew his revolver and
held it behind him. He did not know why he did this.
Possibly subconscious memory of Ali’s advice, perhaps with
the expectation that the men might attack him or attempt to
escape; or perhaps a little pleasant touch of melodrama. . .
.
“Jambo, Murad ibn Mustapha!” he said
suddenly. “Desmont Bwana wants you at
once. Go quickly.”
A man arose immediately and approached him. “Go
back and sit down,” said Bertram, covering the man with his
revolver and speaking in German. He returned and sat
down. Evidently he understood English and German and
answered to the name of Murad ibn Mustapha! . . .
Ali had spoken the truth and it was now up to Bertram Greene
to act wisely, promptly and firmly. This lot should be kept
under arrest anyhow. But might not all this be part of
Desmont’s game as a scout, spy and secret service agent of
the British Intelligence Department. Yes, or of the
German Intelligence Department.
If there was a German uniform in one of the chop-boxes, it
might well be a disguise for him to wear in German East. Or
it might be his real dress. Anyhow—he shouldn’t
leave the outpost until Major Mallery returned. .
. . And that was a weak shelving of
responsibility. He was in command of the post, and Major
Mallery and the other officers with him might be scuppered.
It was quite possible that neither the Major’s party nor
Captain Wavell’s might ever get back to Butindi. He
strolled over to his banda and looked in.
Desmont was evidently suffering from digestive troubles or a
bad conscience, for his face was contorted, he moved restlessly
and ground his teeth.
Suddenly he screamed like a woman and cried:
“Ach! Gott in Himmel!
Nein, Nein! Ich . . .”
Bertram drew his revolver. The man was a
German. Englishmen don’t talk German in their
sleep.
The alleged Desmont moaned.
“Zu müde,” he said. “Zu
müde.” . . .
Bertram sat down on his camp-stool and watched the man.
* * * * *
The Herr Doktor Karl Stein-Brücker had made a name for
himself in German East, as one who knew how to manage the
native. This in a country where they all pride themselves
on knowing how to manage the native—how to put the fear of
Frightfulness and Kultur into his heart. He had once
given a great increase to a growing reputation by flogging a
woman to death, on suspicion of unfaithfulness. He had
wielded the kiboko with his own (literally) red right hand
until he was aweary, and had then passed the job on to Murad ibn
Mustapha, who was very slow to tire. But even he had had to
be kept to it at last. . . .
“Noch nichte!” had the Herr Doktor said,
“Not yet!” as Murad wished to stop, and
“Ganz klein wenig!” as the brawny arm
dropped. “Just a little more.” . . .
It had been a notable and memorable punishment—but the
devil of it was that whenever the Herr Doktor got run down or
over-ate himself, he had a most terrible nightmare, wherein
Marayam, streaming with blood, pursued him, caught him, and
flogged him. And when she tired, he was doomed to urge her
on to further efforts. After screaming with agony, he must
moan “Zu müde! Zu
müde!” and then—when she would have
stopped—“Noch nichte!” and
“Ganz klein wenig!” so that she began
afresh. Then he must struggle, break free, leap at
her—and find himself sweating, weeping and trembling beside
his bed.
Presently the moaning sleeper cried “Noch
nichte!” and a little later “Ganz klein
wenig!”—and then with a scream and a struggle,
leapt from the camp cot and sprang at Bertram, whose revolver
straightway went off. With a cough and a gurgle the
soi-disant Desmont collapsed with a ·450 service
bullet through his heart.
When Major Mallery returned at dawn he found a delirious
Second-Lieutenant Greene (and a dead European, and a wonderful
tale from one Ali Suleiman. . . .)
With
a temperature of 105·8 he did not seem likely to live. . .
.
Whether Bertram Greene lived or died, however, he had, albeit
ignorantly, avenged the cruel wrong done to his father. . .
. He—the despised and rejected one—had avenged
Major Hugh Walsingham Greene. Fate plays some queer tricks
and Time’s whirligig performs some quaint gyrations!