Easter—it fell on April twenty-third that
year—dawned splendidly, a real day of
gladsome spring.
The company was off duty. We had worked
for a month on the fortifications in the front-line
trenches and we deserved this fine day.
In addition the sector was quiet. There hadn’t
been an engagement or a skirmish since February.
This large village—more than a village, a town
almost—scarcely five miles from the Boche lines,
absolutely unprotected, not concealed in the slightest
by a bend in the terrain, by a hill or a wood,
had not received a single shell in three months.
Of course it is true that the church, town hall
and some factories were injured, but not very
much. They had some large shell holes, but they
hadn’t fallen in or tumbled down. The church
and town hall still had their roofs, and if the
chimneys of the sugar refineries were cut on the
bias, it was high up, almost at the top, as if they
wanted to blunt them, or spare them, or preserve
them.
We were now accustomed to this incomprehensible
calm, in fact the officers were often heard
to say,
“This quiet bodes no good to us.”
All day and nearly all night, too, we hear the
shriek of French and Boche shells in the air. Batteries
of heavy artillery search for their marks,
but all that misses us and passes over our heads
or strikes in front. We know that they aren’t
aimed at us, and we take no interest in them. So
with that fine carelessness of men long since accustomed
to the worst dangers, we live in absolute
security.
That Easter morning a musical mass was sung
in an immense great hall which had been used formerly
for entertainments. A crowd of soldiers of
every branch of the service and from all the regiments
encamped in the neighborhood packed the
place. In the crowd was a goodly number of civilians,
including women and girls who were wearing
their best dresses for the first time in a year.
The band of the ... first Territorials played.
Someone beside me dared to murmur,
“All the same, if a Boche shell fell in that
crowd, what a mess it would be!”
“Don’t think,” came from several sides at
once, “about Boche shells. They fire them.
They know we are here. They are afraid—”
The chaplain, assisted by two clerical stretcher
bearers, began worship on the improvised altar
on the stage.
Soldiers sang the psalms of the liturgy.
I was nervous, and sobs came to my throat. In
order not to make a ridiculous spectacle of myself
with my tears I went out. I ran to the cantonment,
saddled my horse, and we galloped at random
through the sunny country on paths covered
with flowers. I stopped in the depths of a valley
under the poplars and stretched out on the grass.
My horse laid down beside me. And while he
munched the grass entirely indifferent to me, I
said:
“Kiki, old Kiki, if an unexpected shell fell on
us now and blotted us out, that would be much
less disastrous than if it fell among those who at
this hour are praying in that chapel. They are
praying for their faraway firesides, their mothers,
their wives.
“They are praying for the preservation of the
past and for the future. They have the joy of believing,
and that belief, that faith, has steeped
them in a special life to which they remain
attached.
“But we, old horse? If a shell annihilates us,
what of it?
“We have never believed anything and we
never will.
“I have impressed my brutal scepticism on the
beings who are nearest and dearest to me. I
have torn down the faith of their cradles ... a
faith in the Beyond.
“So when we shall be under the sod sleeping
our long night, before next spring has awakened
its green verdure on our remains, base and nameless
oblivion will already have overtaken us. On
the simple white cross my hastily traced name
will not even be read....
“Perhaps in passing near my abandoned grave
someone will say, ‘Poor fellow!’ Perhaps someone
more sentimental than the rest will throw
flowers on it.
“But in disappearing, old horse, we shall harm
no one.
“The tears on the beautiful eyes I know so well
will at first be bitter, but they will be dried at
last.”
This rather melancholy monologue was not to
Kiki’s taste at all. He interrupted me by whinnying
loudly. He knew it was time for oats.
So we went back to the cantonment under the
fine midday sun. Before our door at the last
house on the left, on the road to the sugar refinery,
Burette, the quartermaster-sergeant, was going
through his matutinal ablutions. He generally
began them about eleven, just as they were calling
dinner, which made him twenty minutes late and
gave him a chance to growl about the cooking,
which was not hot enough to suit him, or about
his share, which, according to his appetite, was reduced
to a proper allowance.
Inside, seated before an open canteen which
served him equally as a seat or a writing desk,
was Adjutant Dotan reading and re-reading and
sighing over the letters he took from a voluminous
package in front of him. In a loud voice he
mused over the problem which haunted his days
and nights:
“Shall I marry? Or, shall I not?”
For two years now Dotan had seen the realization
of his matrimonial projects grow further and
further away from week to week, from month to
month.
On the first leave the Regimental Administrative
Council had not acted on his request. Then,
for two consecutive times, leave was stopped on
the day before he was going to go. And despite
the advice of the colonel, to whom he told his
grievance, Dotan would not marry by proxy.
This ceremony in partibus, entrusted to a third
party, seemed to him the least bit ridiculous, and
he had a well-developed desire for the whole of
the wedding ceremonies.
“Shall I marry? Or, shall I not?”
While he thought over his dilemma, he read
for the hundredth time the letters from his gentle
fiancée, who awaited him in Provence. And he
occupied the monotony of the long hours in writing
her two letters a day, one in the morning and
another in the evening, with sometimes a supplementary
postal card in addition.
“To think that if I were married I should have
already been so happy!”
“Three days,” Morin let fall cynically in his
innocent voice.
“Yes, I should have been happy.”
“Three days,” insisted Morin, “the second
day before, the day before, and the day of your
wedding until noon. And then you wouldn’t be
as you are now—free, tranquil, and without a
care.”
“Free, tranquil, without a care! Oh, yes, you
say. You’re always the same. Free, tranquil
and happy! You must have learned that by looking
out of your window, you, say....”
Morin, in accordance with his parsimonious use
of words, did not want to carry on this tedious
discussion. He would have answered, nevertheless,
had not Dedouche announced that the table
was set, and that there was a wonderful menu, a
real Easter menu.
Chevalier, the mess corporal, both our Vatel
and cup bearer, had come back from leave the
day before. Before our ravished eyes he untied
his packages, spread out sumptuous, epicurean
dainties, and drew from their thick straw covers
generous bottles of wine whose very appearance
made us joyful.
Morin had been a constant guest at the select
restaurants of La Cannebière and at the famous
inns of La Corniche, and is an expert in the art
of opening a fine wine without shaking it, and he
also knows how to carve roasts and chickens skilfully
and symmetrically.
He was opening with suitable impressiveness
an old bottle of Sauterne, whose bright golden
color brought smiles to our faces, when a tremendous
explosion brought us to our feet and
threw down the single partition in the room.
“The gun back in the garden draws the fire,”
mumbled Dedouche with his mouth full, and without
letting go of his plate which he was rubbing
carefully with a large bit of bread.
But as he spoke a still more violent explosion
shattered all the window panes in the house to
bits.
A great Boche shell had fallen thirty yards
from us in the street which had been recently
covered with hard flint and which it scattered into
innumerable fragments. We heard the cries of
the wounded and the dying outside.
“Quick! Into the cellar!”
But none of us lost our heads sufficiently to
take refuge in the cellar without our munitions.
One brought the fowl, another the bottles, a
third the sauce, and someone the cheese and
candles, and under the threat of shots which
speeded us we reached our underground shelter.
The light of two candles stuck in bottles showed
us the table in the darkness and we spread out
our dinner things anew.
Above was the bombardment in all its intensity.
Shots landed in the road level with our air-hole,
which, as a provision against such an occurrence,
had long since been stuffed with sandbags.
We heard things falling!
“Mince! what are they offering us for Easter
eggs?”
This ready joke made us laugh, and we forgot
the tragedy of the hour. In the heady anesthesia
of real Pommard, and not christened “Pommard”
for use at the front, but which had a real
Burgundian bouquet, we forgot that the shells
were raging in all their fury above us.
The shadow of a man appeared at the entrance
to the cellar. Illuminated by the wavering yellow
lights of our candles, it stood out in sharp contrast
in the darkness of the staircase.
“Is the margis here?... Margis, the lieutenant
says you are to bring all the horses at once
to the gulley in the Caix woods and shelter them
from the bombardment.”
“All right, I’m coming. Go on, Dedouche,
pour out another glass of Pommard. I’ll take
my dessert in my pocket.”
I picked up my helmet, mask and cane and was
ready to go, as I listened through the vaults and
hoped for a let-up in the storm.
“It’s over. We can go.”
“When you wish, old fellow. They’ve stopped
for breath.”
“You’ll find out in five minutes.”
“Bah! I’ve more time to go than I need.”
“Good luck, and if you find any Easter eggs
on the way bring them back for dinner.”
The adjutant’s reiterated joke no longer had
the same zest for me and it hardly made me
smile.
Outside, the streets were empty, and there
wasn’t a soul in sight.
The bombardment had stopped, but no one
was taken in by this deceptive calm. From one
moment to another we waited for a new bombardment
even more violent than the first. The
Boches are creatures of habit and this is not the
first time they’ve played this trick. When they
bombard a cantonment, they very often interrupt
their bombardment some minutes so as to make
us think it is over; then, when the men have
ventured into the streets, they suddenly begin
again and make fresh victims.
A house has fallen in the middle of the road
some steps from our cantonment. Débris block
the way, and we have to climb over them. Farther
along, at the other end of the street, a house
which was still intact this morning is now in
flames.
There is no time to lose. Already several
shells, advance messengers of the coming storm,
begin to fall. I was about to dart across the
Place when a “105” fell on the pavements and
burst.
A poor little soldier carrying two enormous
bags, a great bundle of linen, and some souvenirs
in his hands passed just then. He was on his
way to the station at Guillaucourt to take the train,
for he was going on leave.
Rejoicing in his approaching happiness he
walked on without paying the slightest attention
to this atmosphere where death was hovering.
A shot hit him in the back and passed out the
other side. I jumped to aid him. He was bathed
in blood. In a gentle, caressing, almost timid
voice he said to me:
“Oh, it’s not painful. I am dying.”
And then with his lips, with an expression of
kindness and thankfulness which I shall never
forget, he murmured, “Yvonne.” ... And his
face haloed with blessedness like the religious
images of the martyrs, he died.
I stood there in ecstasy, transfixed, before that
beauty in death, before that strength of love
which lights the final hour.
How many I have seen die in this way! In
their last breaths all had the name of some woman,
and their eyes lighted at the name.
In the final moment of a life which is going
out physical suffering no longer counts. The
name of the loved one embodies all the vanishing
mirage of the future, the end of a too beautiful
dream, the memories of a happy past ... of a
happy past, for the bad times are forgotten.
Before the quivering body of this poor little
soldier, struck down fiercely just as he was going
on leave, full of hope, of plans, of dreams, a
song on his lips, I forgot the threatening shells.
An artilleryman went by on the run and shouted
at me:
“Get out of that. You’ll get done up.” And
I fled.
Our horses were bivouacked in the courtyard
of a sawmill. Not an accident there. I counted
them all at a glance.
The underground shelter of the men was in
the back of the yard, and I went to the air-hole
which was stopped up by a piece of sheet-iron
which served as a screen against splinters.
“Oh, down there! Men of the echelon. All
outside. To horse. We must hurry. Come on,
hurry up! Your masks, helmets, forward with
just the bridle!”
One by one they jumped out of their lairs,
grimacing as the bright sun struck them full in
the face as they came out of the darkness.
“Each one two horses, by squads of six....
One hundred yards between each squad. The
other men will remain here and mobilize the
pack saddles and caissons in the cellar. Take the
road to the Caix station ... on the road lined
with poplars.... On the gallop ... no
straggling.”
Some minutes later we were already going out
of the village. It was a bad passage, but the
only one and the shortest one to reach our destination,
but three hundred yards had to be covered
on entirely unprotected ground opposite the
Boches.
Boom! It was the expected. The shells began
to fall again. A cloud tinted with red from the
tiles of a falling house rises in the air and makes
a large spot in the sky back by the church.
Boom! There’s another one now and nearer
to us, near the sugar refinery.
A crash, an avalanche of bricks; this time it
is the chimney of the sawmill which falls on the
horses’ cantonment. It was time, five minutes
sooner and we would have been under it.
“Go on, go on.... Gallop, for God’s sake.
Corporals ... keep the distances.... Spread
out the squads.... Get into the fields ... behind
the trees.”
We reach the deep path like a whirlwind, while
the bombardment rages over the village more than
ever.
“Any accident? Anyone hit? Good. Assemble,
and on the trot now.”
Ten minutes later we are in the shelter of
Muguet wood, completely shut off from the view
of the Boche artillery.
The wood deserves its name, for it scents the
air a hundred yards about with the perfume of
violets and lilies of the valley, which form a carpet
between the trees and which our mules, entirely
insensible to the subtle beauties of nature,
begin to eat as though they were common fodder.
“Corporals ... look to your sections....
Is everyone here?... All the horses too?”
I cast a rapid glance over the parked beasts.
“Look, Liniers, where is Chocolate?”
And indeed where was Chocolate?
How did it happen that Chocolate wasn’t
there?
Still he had been with the rest at the sawmill.
Chocolate, as the veteran of the echelon, received
special consideration from the men. As
far as the dispositions of the cantonment permitted,
they reserved for him a covered shelter,
a feeding rack, and a manger.
This time the sawmill offered many resources.
The stable walls still stood with only a few gaps,
and the roof was still intact. Beside some artillery
horses, who were generally absent, there was
an available place and they had given it to Chocolate.
And there the drivers had forgotten him.
If it had been any other animal we would have
let him go, but Chocolate was an entirely different
matter and we must go and find him.
“Raynal, I hand over the command of the
detachment to you. Liniers, come with me, we’ll
go and find Chocolate.”
We went back over the path, on foot this time,
but as fast as our legs would go. As we reached
the village the intensity of the bombardment
seemed to decrease. Were we going to be lucky
enough to strike another lull? Again there
were particularly violent explosions, nearer, then
nothing more.
We reached the village entirely out of breath.
As we turned into the street which led to the
sawmill Liniers stopped suddenly, as if petrified,
and began to wave his hands.
“M ...!”
“What?”
“The shed....”
“Well, what about the shed?”
“Demolished. Can’t you see? It’s gone.”
We ran still faster.
The shed was absolutely demolished and is
now only a shapeless mass of rubbish, but there
are no signs of a shell—no traces of burned
timbers, no splinters. One would have thought
that it had folded up and laid down on its side
like a house of cards.
When we reached the shed we saw Chocolate’s
great neck and shoulders and enormous head free
from the rubbish which hid the rest of his body.
He was stretched out full length on his side,
browsing serenely on the young shoots of an
apple tree, which had gone down with the building.
His large eye looked us over as we stood
there, overcome and absolutely stupefied with
amazement, as much as to say:
“What ... you’ve come at last ... you
needn’t have been in so much of a hurry.”
I ran to the air-hole of the cellar.
“Hey there, men with spades; quick, come, dig
out Chocolate.”
“Dig out Chocolate!” and they all rushed out
utterly surprised by the announcement of such a
job.
The bricks were scattered with a few blows of
the shovels, the beams raised, and the place cleared
away.
With all the ease of a circus horse who has
been playing dead, Chocolate stretched out his
front feet, then his hind ones, balanced himself
two or three times, took a spring, and without
the slightest hurry stood up, shaking himself all
over like a dog coming out of the water.
There were a few scratches on his hide, but it
was an old hide, hard and tanned, which resists
everything. Nothing broken! Brave Chocolate,
come on! The men all look at him, admire him,
and fondle him. He seemed somewhat surprised
by such manifestations of great affection.
And without a care in the world for the bombardment
which was beginning again, he went to
the nearby pond and drank deeply.