“You actually mean to tell me that you don’t
want to get out of this dripping hole?”
“My dear old ass, why on earth should
I want to get out of it?”
Anthony Christopher Stoningham Calvert faced
the incredulous glare of the freckle-faced young
gentleman from Ohio with engaging candour.
Four years of soaking in tropical pest holes
and rioting from Monte Carlo to Rio, from
Shanghai to Singapore, since they had met,
and yet there he sat, sprawled out full length
in his great cane chair, as cool and shameless and
unconquerably youthful as though he had just
been sent down from Oxford for the first time.
Even in the light that filtered in through the cane
shutters, green and strange as the pallid glow that
washes through aquariums, it was clear that time
had found no power to touch that long grace, that
bright head with its ruffled crop of short hair, those
gay eyes, wide set and mischievous in the brown
young face, those absurd dimples, carved deep into
the lean curve of the cheek. Young Ledyard
gave a bark of outraged protest, his pleasant face
flushed and exasperated under its thatch of sandy
hair.
“You mean it? You aren’t coming back with
me?”
“Not for all the gold in the Indies, my dear kid—or
out of them either, if it comes to that.” The
Honourable Tony, as he had been dubbed by a
scandalized and diverted public, grinned alluringly
through the vaguely sinister light at his onetime
comrade at arms. “The whole thing is absolutely
ripping, I tell you, and the only thing that I ask
is to spend the next sixty years doing precisely
what I’m doing now.”
“I don’t believe you,” rejoined his baffled guest
flatly. “Why in God’s name should you want to
rot your life away in a little backwater Hell, when
I can give you a first-rate job twenty-four hours
after we land in America?”
“But, my dear fellow, I wouldn’t have your job
as a birthday gift. You may be the heir apparent
to the greatest rubber business in the whole jolly
globe, but try to bear in mind that you see before
you the chief, sole, and official British Imperial
Adviser to the fattest little Sultan in Asia—who
incidentally eats up every word of wisdom that
falls from his adviser’s lips and sits up and begs
for more, let me tell you.”
“And let me tell you that it’s common gossip in
every gutter in Singapore that your Sultan’s a
black-hearted scoundrel who’s only waiting for a
chance to double-cross England and do you one in
the eye.”
“What happens to be the current gutter gossip
about his adviser?” inquired that gentleman
blandly.
Ledyard’s jaw looked suddenly aggressive.
“Never mind what it happens to be. What I
want to know is why your friend Bhakdi isn’t back
in his dirty little capital trying to straighten out
some of the messes he’s got himself into instead of
squatting up here in the jungle hunting tigers?”
“Because his invaluable adviser advises him to
stay precisely where he is,” explained the Honourable
Tony cheerfully. “Just between us, there
are several nasty bits of international complications
and one or two strictly domestic ones that
make a protracted absence from the native heath
highly advisable—oh, highly. Besides, you’d
hardly have us trot back without a tiger, would
you? I assure you that so far we haven’t bagged a
solitary one. Not a tiger, Bill, not a tiger!”
“Oh, for the love of the Lord, shut up! I tell
you this whole thing’s a rotten, ugly, dangerous
business, and I didn’t come crawling up through
Hades to have you turn it into a joke. I can’t
stay jawing about it, and you know it—it’s going
to be a darned close squeak to make connections
with the steamer as it is. Are you coming or are
you not?”
“I are not. Do quiet down and tell me why it
is that you’re totally unable to distinguish between
comic opera and melodrama? This whole performance
is the purest farce, I swear! Wait till
you see his Imperial Majesty—as nice a buttery,
pompous little blighter as you’d want to lay eyes
on, who’s spent six months at Cambridge and
comes to heel like a spaniel if you tell him that
anything in the world ‘isn’t done.’ He has a solid
gold bicycle and four unhappy marriages and a
body-guard with bright green panties and mother-of-pearl
handles to their automatics! You
wouldn’t expect even a Chinaman to take that
seriously, would you?”
“I should think you’d go mad in your head trying
to get along with a bounder who doesn’t know
the first thing in the world about your code of
standards or——”
“William, you are the most frightful donkey!
The only code that I’ve recognized since I pattered
off the ancestral estate is the jolly dot-dash
thing that they use for telegrams. I’ve finally got
our Bhakdi to the point where he drills his troops
in pure British and plays a cracking good game of
auction bridge without cheating—civilization’s
greatest triumph in the Near or Far East. Personally,
I ask no more of it!”
Ledyard mopped his brow despairingly. The
dim room with its snowy matting and pale green
cushions looked cool enough, but the heat outside
would have penetrated a refrigerator. Just the
other side of those protecting shutters the sun was
beating down on the quiet waters until they glared
back like burning silver—the tufts of palm and
bamboo were hanging like so many dejected jade
banners in the breathless air—the ridiculous little
houses were huddled clumsily together on their
ungainly piles, shrinking unhappily under their
huge hats of nippa thatch.
“It’s a filthy, poisonous hole!” he protested
fiercely. “It beats me why you can’t see it. If
anything went wrong here, you wouldn’t have a
white man in a hundred miles to turn to. You
needn’t laugh. There’s nothing so howlingly
funny about it. What about that Scotch engineer
who was so everlastingly intimate with your
precious Bhakdi’s next-door neighbour?”
“Well, what about him? The poor chap fell
down a shaft and broke his neck.”
“Oh, he did, did he? Well, believe me, that’s
not what they say in Singapore! Calvert, for
God’s sake, get out of this infernal place. Every
inch of it smells of death and damnation. How
any one who calls himself an English gentleman can
stick it for a minute——”
“But I don’t call myself an English gentleman,”
the Honourable Tony assured him earnestly.
“God forbid! I call myself an out-and-out waster
exiled for ever from the Mother Country by a cruel
and powerful elder brother. The only trick in it
is that I’m simply cuckoo with ecstasy over the
entire situation. Not according to Kipling, what?
No, the glittering prospect of spending the remaining
years of a misspent life in the largest
rubber factory in Ohio leaves me considerably
colder than ice.”
“I suggested Ohio because I happen to be in
charge of that plant myself,” returned Ledyard
stiffly. “If you’d rather have a go at one of the
others——”
“But, my good child, it seems impossible to
make you understand that the factory has not
been built for which I would exchange one single
baked banana soaked in rum and moonlight.
Think of the simply hideous sacrifices that I’d
make, can’t you?—taking advice instead of being
paid good round guineas for giving it—working
for one beastly hour after another instead of slipping
from one golden minute to the next—drinking
nasty chemical messes in constant terror of
sudden death or prison bars, instead of tossing off
bumpers and flagons and buckets of delectable
fluids that smell like flowers and shine like jewels—dragging
around to the most appalling festivals
where pampered little females tip up their ridiculous
powdered noses and distribute two minutes
of their precious dances as though they were conferring
the Order of the Garter, instead of——”
Ledyard looked suddenly three shades hotter
beneath his freckles.
“Thanks—glad to know how much you enjoyed
your visit.”
“I enjoyed every minute of it to the point of
explosion, as you are thoroughly well aware. If I
live to ninety-two, I shall remember the excellent
yarns that your father spun over those incredibly
good cigars and that simply immortal corn pudding,
and the shoulders on the little red-headed
creature in the black dress at the Country Club—good
Lord, William, the shoulders on that creature!
After four years of not especially pretty smells and
not especially pretty noises, what do you think that
those July evenings under the awnings on your
veranda meant to a God-forsaken flying chap
back from the wars, William?”
William looked frankly unappeased.
“A hell of a lot of difference it makes what I
think! I know one God-forsaken flying chap who
thought it wasn’t good enough for him, by a long
shot. Not while he could hop off and rot his soul
out in a water-logged bamboo shack in Asia!”
The owner of the bamboo shack settled deeper
into his chair with a graceless and engaging grin.
“My dear chap, it was Heaven, pure and simple—but
a dash too pure and simple for some of us.
Every man his own Heaven, what? Well, you’re
sitting in mine at the present. Of course it
mightn’t suit any one with even an elementary code
of principles, but having none of any kind or
description it suits me down to the ground and up
to the sky.”
“Oh, bunk!” commented Ledyard with fervent
irritation. “You’ve got all the principles you
need; do you think that I’d have come chasing up
this unspeakable river in everything from a motorboat
to a raft after any howling blackguard?”
“Well, it’s rather one on you, isn’t it, dear boy?
Because it’s so absolutely what you’ve up and gone
and done—though through no earthly fault of
mine, you know! Rather not. Didn’t I spend
four jolly busy years trying to get it through your
thick skull that I was ninety-nine different varieties
of blighter, and that nice little American kids
with freckles on their noses shouldn’t come trotting
around my propellers?”
“Hey, how do you get that way?” The nice
little American kid raised his voice in poignant
irritation. “Kid! If any one ever took the trouble
to give you two looks they’d think you’d
bounced straight out of rompers into long trousers
without waiting for knickerbockers. Kid!”
“Old in iniquity, William, old in iniquity,” explained
the Honourable Tony blithely. “Physically
I grant that I’m fairly in the pink, but morally
I’m edging rapidly into senile decay. I pledge
you my word, which is worth considerably less
than nothing, that I haven’t as many morals as I
have side whiskers. And even you, my dear old
chap, will be willing to admit that I don’t go in
heavily for side whiskers. Take a long piercing
look.”
Ledyard scowled wretchedly at the impish
countenance blandly presented for inspection.
“The trouble with you is that you simply can’t
take it in that any one on the whole bally globe
could prefer a Bengal tiger to a British lion and a
bird of paradise to an American eagle. You see
before you a foul monstrosity who would trade all
the British Isles for twenty yards of jungle, and
gloat over his bargain. Have a cigarette?”
“No, I won’t have a cigarette. You make me
so sick and tired with all that jaw about what a
devil you are that I could yell. Once and for all,
are you going to drop it and come back with me?”
“Once and for all I am not going to move one
quarter of an inch. Stop jawing yourself for a
minute, and try to see it my way. If you’d been
chivvied about for your entire life by a lot of
frenzied vestals for aunts who were trying to guide
you to what they unfortunately considered grace,
and three simply appalling bounders for brothers
who set up the most frightful howl over the Bolingham
name and the Bolingham honour and the
Bolingham fortune every time the youngest member
of the Bolingham family picked a primrose,
you’d good and well think you were in Heaven if
you could get out of earshot of their ghastly
voices.”
“Damn it all!” cried young Ledyard violently.
“You haven’t got the nerve to sit up there and tell
me that you call this filthy water-hole Heaven?”
“Oh, I haven’t, haven’t I?” The Honourable
Tony regarded the flushed countenance with
pensive amusement. “I say, you Americans do
have the most amazing cheek! Who ever asked
you to come puffing and blowing into my own particular
earthly Paradise and start in slanging it all
over the shop? Filthy water-hole, by Gad! You
won’t recognize Heaven when you have the milk
and gold and harps and honey stuck under your
silly nose.”
Ledyard rose sharply to his feet.
“All right, I’ll be off, then, and not waste any
more of the valuable time that you’re employing so
profitably. As you suggest, no one asked me to
hurl myself into your affairs, and you’ve managed
to make it good and clear that I was a lunatic to
think that you’d take advice or help from me or
any other well-meaning fool on the face of the
earth. If you’ll get hold of one of those black
swine that make up your circle of friends, these
days, and tell them to get my men and the
raft——”
“My dear old chap!” The Honourable Tony
was at Ledyard’s side in two great strides, his arm
was about Ledyard’s shoulders in the old, remembered
gesture of gay affection. “For God’s
sake, do try to remember that I am simply a
feather-headed goat who can’t for the life of him
say three consecutive inoffensive syllables—I give
you my word that I was born with both feet in my
mouth—actually! As for your taking the time
and trouble to come tooting up that frightful river
in order to throw me a life-line, I could sit down
and howl with emotion whenever I think of it—no,
I swear that’s the truth! Do sit down again
like a good chap—it’s absolute rot to talk about
going before sundown; the sun would simply melt
you down like a tallow candle. Besides, the jetty-eyed
companion of your travels isn’t back from her
interview with His Majesty, and you can hardly
abandon her to our tender mercies—oh, well,
hardly! I say, didn’t you gather that she was
going to romp straight back to our sheltering wings
as soon as she’d presented the heart-wrung petition?”
“If you believe two words the lying little devil
says, you’re a worse fool than I am!” said Ledyard
gloomily.
The Honourable Tony shouted his delight.
“Where’s all this hundred per cent. American
chivalry? What an absolutely shocking way to
talk about a perfect lady who touchingly relies on
your being a perfect gentleman. ‘Meestair Billee
Ledyar’, allaways, allaways he conduck heemself
like a mos’ pairfick genteelman!’”
He shouted again at the sight of Meestair
Billee Ledyar’s revolted countenance.
“Calvert, when I think what I’ve been through
with that beastly limpet, jabbering all day and
hysterics all night—it’s nothing short of a miracle
that I didn’t bash her head against the anchor
and feed her to the crocodiles. Who the devil is
she, anyway?”
“Daisy de Vallorosa? My dear chap, why ask
me?”
“Well, I do ask you. She seems to know who
you are all right!”
“Does she, indeed? Upon my word, that’s
interesting!”
He cocked his head attentively, guileless and
inscrutable.
“Yes, she does indeed. Come on—let me in on
this! Did she honestly come up here to get help
for a brother dying in the tin mines, or is this a
rendezvous that the two of you fixed up in Singapore?”
His host looked shocked but magnanimous.
“William, William—no, frankly, you appall me!
What a sordid mind you have under that sunny
exterior; out upon you! I never make rendezvous—absolutely
not.”
“Well, she swore that she’d met you and Bhakdi
at a special concert while he was visiting Singapore.”
“Oh, extremely special,” murmured the Honourable
Tony, a reminiscent gleam in his eye.
“Rather! She sang some little songs that were
quite as special as anything I’ve ever heard in my
life, and at one time or another I’ve heard a good
few. Bhakdi was most frightfully bowled over;
he gave her two hammered gold buckles and a
warm invitation to drop in on him at any time that
she was in the neighbourhood. I rather fancy
that that’s what’s at the bottom of all this; taking
one thing with another, I’m inclined to believe that
Necessity became a Mother again when our little
Daisy barged into you, and that the expiring
brother is simply one of her inventive offspring.
Hence, death and the tin mines! By the way, just
how did the young female barge into you?”
“She had the next seat on the train from Singapore,
curse her!” replied Ledyard vindictively.
“And she sat there as good and quiet as pie,
squeaking out, ‘Yes, I sank you’ and ‘No, I sank
you’ every time I asked her if she wanted the
window up, or the shades down or—or anything.
I tell you butter wouldn’t have melted in her nasty
little painted mouth! Then when we found that
you and Bhakdi had lit out after tigers, and I
decided that I’d just have time before the next boat
to hire a crew and hunt you down, she went off into
twenty-one different kinds of hysterics until I
promised to bring her along, too. ‘Five meenit—only
five small lil’ meenit to spik weeth the gr-reat,
the good Sultan, and the gr-reat, nobl’ Honable
Meestaire Tonee Calver’, and her Manuelo would
be restore once more to her arms.’ When I think
that I fell for that I could choke down a quart of
carbolic straight.”
“Oh, I can quite see how it came about—quite,
quite!” murmured the Honourable Tony, pensively
sympathetic.
“Believe me, you can’t see the half of it!”
Ledyard ran a frenzied hand through the sandy
hair. “Listen, how about getting away now, before
she turns up?”
“Well, upon my word, you unprincipled young
devil, I’ve yet to hear a cooler proposition!
Damme if you don’t curdle the blood—damme if
you don’t. Are you asking me to sit by and condone
a callous desertion of this young female to
the lures of a wily and dissolute potentate?”
Ledyard faced his delighted inquisitor unabashed.
“Oh, go on—I’ll bet that’s what she’s after—and
if you ask me, he’s plenty good enough for her.
She’s probably a cousin of his; any one with all that
fuzzy black hair and those black saucer eyes and
nasty glittery little teeth——”
“Wrong again, dear boy. The lady is undeniably
the legitimate offspring of Lady Scott’s
English maid and a Portuguese wine merchant, born
in Madeira. She is also a British subject, being
the legitimate widow of the late Tommy Potts,
one-time pianist of the Imperial Doll Baby Girls.”
“Widow?” demanded Ledyard incredulously.
“Widow and orphan, William. You ought to
be ashamed of yourself. Tommy, alas, passed
away while they were touring New Zealand, in a
distressingly complicated attack of appendicitis
and D. T.’s. She didn’t tell you?”
“No, she did not tell me,” replied William somewhat
aggressively. “See here, how do you happen
to know so much about this Portuguese Empire
Doll Baby?”
“A trifling matter of a passport, William.
Purely as a business matter it became my painful
duty to excavate the lady’s buried past.”
Ledyard eyed him suspiciously.
“I believe she’s gone on you and you know it,”
he said gloomily. “Anyway, if she doesn’t turn
up pretty soon, I’m going to pull out, and that’s
that. You and Bhakdi can fight it out between
the two of you—I’m through chaperoning Daisy de
Vallorosa Potts from now on.”
“Sorry, but you’re going to have to chaperon
her clear back to Singapore,” the Honourable
Tony assured him inflexibly. “If there’s one
thing that I simply cannot and will not stick it’s
cheap powder, and if there are two things that I
simply cannot and will not stick—it’s cheap perfume.
The less they cost, the more they use.
Lord, Lord, the perfume that little hussy uses!”
“If she’s a British subject, it’s your job to look
out for her. She’s under your protection.”
“My dear kid, I wouldn’t disturb this enchanting
existence by lifting a finger to protect Queen
Victoria from Don Juan.”
“Well, she’d better step lively,” remarked her
late escort ominously. “I’m not joking, you
know—if I don’t make connections with that boat
in Singapore, I’m as good as disinherited! My
Governor’s not so gone on you that he’d consider
you any excuse for missing two boats, you know.”
“Not for missing one, you young ass.” The gay
eyes dwelt on him deeply for a moment, mocking
and affectionate. “Your very able parent was one
fellow who never entertained any illusions as to
my intrinsic merit, wasn’t he?”
Ledyard drew a long breath, his face a little pale.
“Yes,” he said slowly, “he was. That was one
of the things I wanted to talk to you about. It’s
hard to talk to you about anything like that,
Calvert!”
“Like what?”
The tone was hardly encouraging for all its
amiability, but young Ledyard pushed doggedly
ahead.
“Like that—anything serious or intimate or real.
You make it darned difficult, let me tell you.”
“Then why do it?”
“Oh, not because I want to!” His angry, tired
young face bore unmistakable testimony to that.
“Believe me, if I were consulting my own pleasure
I’d have told you to go to the devil the first time
you tried any of that condescending impertinence
of yours on me.”
“Is it beside the mark to ask you just whose
pleasure you are consulting, then?”
Young Ledyard set his teeth hard.
“Pattie’s,” he said, very distinctly.
The Honourable Tony did not stir, but the eyes
that he fixed on Pattie’s brother went suddenly
and incredibly black. After a long pause he repeated,
evenly and courteously,
“Pattie’s?”
“Yes, Pattie’s. That’s half of why I came—the
other half, if you want to know, is because
I’m fool enough to care more about you than
any other man I ever met—than any other two
men.”
The wide eyes were suddenly blue again.
“Thanks,” said the Honourable Tony, and there
was something startlingly sweet in his smile.
“Thanks awfully. It’s quite mutual, you know—any
three men, I should say offhand. Suppose
we simply let it go at that? And do try one of
these cigarettes; they really are first-rate.”
“I can’t let it go at that, I tell you—I wish to the
Lord I could. Pattie had it all out with Dad, and
she made me swear that I’d run you down when I
got out here and bring you back. She said that if
I couldn’t work it any other way I was to tell you
that she said ‘Please.’ I’m at the end of my rope,
Calvert—and Pattie says ‘Please.’”
The Honourable Tony raised his hand sharply,
staring through Pattie’s brother as though he saw
someone else. Possibly he did see someone else—someone
as clear and cool in that dim, hot room as
a little spring, someone who stood there very small
and straight with young Ledyard’s sandy hair
clasping her brows like a wreath of autumn leaves,
and young Ledyard’s gray eyes turned to two
dancing stars, and young Ledyard’s freckles trailing
a faint gold powder across the very tip of her
tilted nose—someone as brave and honest as a
little boy and as wistful and gentle as a little girl,
who stood clasping her hands together tightly, and
said “Please.”
“No, by God!” cried the Honourable Tony
loudly. “No!”
“Don’t yell like that.” Ledyard rapped the
words out fiercely. “I’m not deaf—all you have
to say is ‘no’ once. If it’s any satisfaction to you
to know it, I’m through.”
He rose to his feet and his host rose, too,
swiftly, catching at his arm.
“Rather got the wind up, haven’t we, old thing?
No, don’t jerk away; it’s simply rotten bad manners,
and throws me off my stride completely when
I’m preparing to do the thing in the grand manner—apologies,
and amendes honorables and every
mortal trick in the bag. You’re absolutely right,
you know. It’s far too hot to start shouting, and
I swear that I’ll keep quiet if you will. We might
toss off a stirrup cup of quinine, what?”
“I believe that you’d laugh at a corpse,” said
Ledyard fiercely.
The Honourable Tony eyed him for a moment
strangely—and then shrugged his shoulders.
“At a corpse—exactly. And there you are!”
“Well, where am I? D’you want me to tell
Pattie that all you have to say to her is ‘No, by
God’?”
“I want you to tell Pattie just exactly nothing
whatever; say that I was off tiger hunting with
the Sultan, and that you couldn’t get track of me
to save your soul.”
“Thanks; I don’t go in for lies—more especially
not with Pattie.”
“I see.” The Honourable Tony, his hands deep
in his pockets, evidently saw something not entirely
flattering, judging from the curl to his lip.
After a minute, however, he dismissed it with another
careless shrug. “Oh, spare your conscience
by all means. Give Pattie my love, then, and tell
her that I’d like most awfully to run up and wipe
her out at tennis, but that I’m so indispensable
here that I can’t possibly make it.”
“That all?”
“Quite all, thanks.”
“But, good Lord, I tell you that she wants
you——”
“You misunderstood her.”
“Don’t be a fool. She told me——”
The Honourable Tony jerked forward suddenly,
his fingers biting into Ledyard’s arm, his low voice
savage as a whip.
“Drop it, will you? Drop it!” At the sight
of the blank and stricken amazement in the other’s
eyes he broke off sharply, his fingers relaxing their
grip. “Oh, Lord love us, we’re both fit for a madhouse!
Throw some water over me—pound my
head against the wall—do something but stand
there staring like another lunatic. Pull your jaw
back, there’s a good kid.”
Ledyard stared at him wretchedly.
“But, Calvert, I swear that I don’t understand.
I thought—we all thought—that you—that you
cared for her——”
“My dear fellow, what in the world has that got
to do with it? The more I cared for her the less
likely I’d be to go within a thousand miles of her.
For God’s sake, and Pattie’s sake, and my sake,
try to get this straight. I am absolutely no good.
I don’t mean that I’m one of your deep-dyed,
hair-raising villains—no such luck; I’m simply a
waster and rotter of the very first water who’s
gone to and fro over the face of the earth doing the
things that he ought not to have done, and leaving
undone the things that he ought to have done for
more years than he cares to remember. You’re
worse than mad to tempt me to forget it; don’t do
it again, there’s a good chap. And while you’re
about it, try and remember that the best there is
isn’t half good enough for Pattie.”
Ledyard swallowed hard.
“I don’t care—you can talk till you’re black in
the face, and I won’t believe that you know yourself.
If it came to a show-down, you’d be as good
as the best.”
“Thanks. As it’s not likely to, you can take
my word for it that I’m not of the stuff of which
heroes are made, even in a pinch. Now that that’s
settled, how about hunting up the little Vallorosa
hussy? It’s getting on a bit.”
“I hope to the Lord she’s decided to settle here
for life.”
“Oh, rot. Tell you what, if the young thing
doesn’t turn up pretty promptly, we’ll call out the
royal, holy, gold-fringed, pearl-tasselled, diamond-studded
red parasols, and romp over in time to
cadge some light refreshments from His Majesty.
He has a cognac that will make you sit up and yelp
with excitement; Napoleon—the real stuff, I pledge
you my word. I suppose that it will be simply
thrown away on you; half a nip of prune cordial
sets the good old world going round for you Yankee
martyrs these days, what?”
“Help!” invoked Ledyard with gloomy fervour.
“Glad to know you get the comic sections regularly.”
“My priceless old thing, we get nothing whatever
regularly; that’s one of the unholy charms.
When my royal master and pupil feels any craving
for mail and newspapers and other foreign frivolities
he summons about twenty of the stalwart
flowers of the masculine population and bids them
oil and decorate and adorn themselves as befits the
occasion and pop into the old lacquer sampans
and yo heave ho on business of state. A few days
or a few weeks later they turn up like Santa Claus
bearing gifts, and I take all the pretty envelopes
with an English postmark and put them in a nice
tin can with a nice round stone, and drop ’em out of
the window plop into the jolly old river—returned
unopened, with many, many thanks! You never
can tell when one of the tricky little devils might
read ‘Anthony, come home, all is forgiven.’”
“But, my Lord, they must be worried half
frantic! How do they know whether you’re alive
or dead?”
“My dear chap, the only thing that the Bolinghams
have ever worried about as far as little
Anthony Christopher’s concerned was that he
mightn’t have the grace to die before one of his
waggish pranks landed him in jail or actually cost
them something in pounds and shillings instead of
mere lamentations! That’s why I gratified them
by throwing over my share of the title when
I came of age. Lord Anthony, what? No,
thanks. But it’s all too clear that you don’t know
Aunt Pamela and Aunt Clarissa, the last of the
Bolingham vestals, or those splendid fellows,
Roderick, Cyril, and Oliver.”
“Good-night, I’d hate to be as bitter as that
about my worst enemy.” Ledyard’s honest drawl
was chilled and thoughtful.
“Bitter? About my priceless family?” His
careless mirth flooded the quiet room. “No, I
swear that’s good! Why, my child, I revel in
’em; I have ever since Oliver used to jerk me out of
bed at two in the morning to wallop the everlasting
soul out of me because he’d lost at écarté—ragging
along all the time about how it was his sacred duty
as head of the Bolingham family to see that I
learned not to disgrace it again by getting in
through the scullery window at nine o’clock of a
fine August night. I wasn’t more than three feet
high, with a face no bigger than a button, but I
couldn’t keep it straight then and I can’t keep it
straight now when I think of that enormous red
mug of his with all those noble sentiments pouring
out of it—and the harder he walloped and the
nobler he gabbled, the more I knew he’d lost. I
was Satan’s own limb even in those days, and he
generally managed to dig up some excellent and
fruity reason for improving the witching hours with
a boot-strap, but it undeniably was one on both
of us that the night that he lost one hundred and
thirty-seven golden guineas I’d been in bed in a
state of grace since early dawn, with a nice bit of
fever and a whopping toothache.”
“And just what did he do about that?” inquired
Ledyard grimly. He did not seem to be as carried
away by the humour of the situation as the
Honourable Tony, whose carved dimples had become
riotous at memory.
“Oh, you simply have to credit Noll for resource—he
trounced the skin off me for adding hypocrisy
to my list of iniquities! And there was I, innocent
as a water baby of guilt or guile for twenty-four
priceless hours—you’ll have to admit that it was a
good one on me. I’ve taken jolly good care from
that day to this that I didn’t let a night come
around without deserving a simply first-rate caning,
let me tell you!”
Ledyard made a gesture of fierce disgust.
“Do you mean to tell me that your own brother
beat you night after night and no one lifted a hand
to stop him?”
“Oh, well, come, who do you think was going
to stop him?” inquired the Honourable Tony with
indulgent amusement. “After all, the noble Duke
had a fairly good right to see that a cheeky brat
learned all of the sacred traditions of the family
from the sacred head of the family, hadn’t he?
Well, rather! All the more to his credit that the
little jackanapes wasn’t his own brother.”
“Wasn’t?” echoed Ledyard blankly.
“Oh, come, come—you don’t mean to say that
no one’s told you the true history of the little black
sheep rampant on the Bolingham arms? No?
Oh, I say, I am let down—— I thought all you
chaps used to jaw about it for hours between
flights! No one even said a word about it down
the river? Well, there’s glory for you; it begins
to look as though I’d won your kind attentions
under entirely false pretences, my dear kid. All
the time that you’ve been thinking me a purely
blue specimen of the British aristocracy I’ve been a
black skeleton and a dancing sheep and a mere
paltry half brother to His Grace the Duke of
Bolingham—and it begins to look as though I
were an impostor to boot. I say, I am sick.”
He looked far from sick; leaning back in the long
chair with his brown hands clasped behind his
bright head, he looked radiantly and outrageously
amused.
Ledyard gave a vicious kick to an innocuous
rattan stool.
“I don’t know what you’re driving at, but if
you’re implying that the reason that I was misguided
enough to choose you for a friend, was that
you happened to have a duke for your father, you
can shut your mouth and eat your words. I’d
always understood that you were Bolingham’s
son, but I don’t give a curse if he picked you out of
an ash-can, and you know it. Dukes mean nothing
in my young life, let me tell you. If you aren’t
Bolingham’s son, who are you?”
“Oh, I’m Bolingham’s son, all right enough,
only unlike Noll and Cyril and Roddie, I don’t
happen to be able to claim the Lady Alicia Honoria
Fortescue as my mother. No, no, nothing to
bring the blush of shame to that ingenuous brow,
William. The lady died some eighteen years before
I arrived on the scene, so neither of us can be
blamed, you’ll admit. My mother’s name happened
to be Biddy O’Rourke, and I’d be willing to
take an oath that she was prouder of that and
being able to dance longer on her toes than any one
else in the London music halls, than of the minor
matter of bearing the title of Duchess of Bolingham
and having forty-two servants call her ‘Your
Grace.’ Your Grace! I shouldn’t be surprised
if it fitted her better than the Lady Alicia Honoria.”
“You mean he was married to her?”
“Rather—rather, my young sleuth! There
was all too little doubt on that score to make it
pleasant for any one but the unregenerate Duke
and his Duchess. It seemed to afford them considerable
amusement.”
“I didn’t know that dukes married—married
artists.” Young Ledyard eyed his host with suspicion;
he had fallen victim more than once to the
soaring flights of that gentleman’s imagination.
“They don’t; that was exactly what furnished
all the ripe excitement. He not only married her,
but he was most frightfully set up about it—fairly
swollen with pride. Nothing damped them, as
far as I can learn; Society and the Court and the
whole blooming family went off their heads with
excitement and cut her and insulted her and disowned
her—and she laughed in their faces and
danced on their toes. She thought that the whole
thing was the most stupendous joke; Bunny says
that there never were five minutes after she came
to Gray Courts that you couldn’t hear her laughing
or singing somewhere about the place—and sometimes
doing both at once.”
“Who’s Bunny?”
“Bunny was her maid—afterward she was my
own private slave until the magnificent Noll showed
her the gates of the ancestral home after she’d
locked me up in her room one night when he was
out hunting for me with the boot-strap! She
went off into the most stunning hysterics right outside
the door and called him a bloody roaring monster
what ought to have his heart cut out for laying
a finger on an innocent lamb. And when they
fished the innocent lamb out from under the bed
and informed him between larrups that his Bunny
had been hurled into outer darkness by two footmen
and an under-gardener, he let out the last
howls of his life. He’d reached the mature age of
six and a half, but he hasn’t lost or found anything
since worth a single solitary howl!”
“Why didn’t your mother and father stop
them?” demanded Ledyard, looking stern and
sick and still faintly incredulous.
“Because the only active interference they were
capable of at the time would have been with a
Ouija board,” explained the Honourable Tony
affably. “Exit Biddy, Duchess of Bolingham,
laughing, on the day that young Anthony Christopher
Stoningham Calvert makes his first bow to a
ravished family. I’ll wager that before she slipped
off she realized that it was a good one on all of us,
too!”
“Well, but what happened to your father?”
“Oh, the Black Duke, as he was impolitely referred
to, hadn’t extracted any amusement from
life before he discovered his Biddy, and once she
was gone, he evidently considered it a dingy affair.
He slunk around the empty corridors for a bit
hunting for the echo of her laughter, but he got
tired of that game, too, and died of pneumonia and
boredom without making any particular fuss—though
Bunny swears that after everyone in the
room thought he was gone for good and they all
were filing out of the room on the tips of reverent
toes, he flung back his head and gave one great
roar of laughter—the kind of a roar that he used
to give when he’d come on little Biddy in a dark
hall, dancing out an imitation of the Bolingham
vestals at their weekly task of patronizing the
parish poor. Bunny said that it fair scared the
breath out of their bodies, but when they went
back he was lying there as dead as last year’s wild
boar.”
“Calvert, are you making this up?”
The Honourable Tony turned his head sharply
toward his interlocutor, his dark eyes narrowed to
slits. After a moment’s cold scrutiny of the
troubled countenance, he shrugged his shoulders
with a not highly diverted laugh.
“My dear kid, I suppose that I’ve asked for this
by over-valuing your powers of discrimination!
Just as a tip, though, I may pass on to you the information
that even the clown in the circus is apt
to draw the line at playing the giddy fool over his
mother. I might add, moreover, that my fertile
imagination would balk at inventing any one as
delightful as the lady who did me the honour to be
mine.”
Ledyard, flushed to the bone, met the ironic
gaze with considerable dignity.
“I beg your pardon,” he said. “As you imply,
I’m a tasteless fool.”
“And so you’re in excellent company!” his host
assured him. “I will now rapidly descend from
the ancestral high-horse and prove to you, strictly
as a matter of penance, that I am not invariably a
liar. If you’ll wait just half a shake, I’ll present
you to Biddy, ninth Duchess of Bolingham.”
He vanished into the room at the back with a
reassuring gleam over his shoulder at young Ledyard’s
startled countenance, and was back in
rather less than half a shake with a shabby black
case in his hands. He put it carefully on the table
between them, touched a spring, and stepped with
a low bow.
“There!” he announced. “Madame Biddy,
the American kid with the freckles—you know the
one. Mr. Bill Ledyard from Ohio, the Duchess of
Bolingham—from Ireland.”
Out of the black velvet frame there smiled,
wicked and joyful, a tiny vision of gold and ivory
and sapphire. The head, with its froth of bright
curls, lightly tilted—the nose tilted, too—and the
lips tilted, too—there she sat laughing down the
years, gay as a flower, reckless as a butterfly, lovely
as a dream.
“Buffets and insults and three inimitable step-children
and four incomparable sisters-in-law—and
then some artist chap came along and painted
her like this!” The Honourable Tony leaned
over, touching the gauzy folds of the dress with a
light and caressing finger. “She’s a bit incredible,
after all, you know! They were going to crush all
that life and laughter clear down into the earth,
and away she went dancing through their fingers
into the dust that was just a flower garden to her.
She’s more alive this minute than they’ll ever be in
all their everlasting stale lives. Ah, Biddy darlin’,
look at you now after flirtin’ with the fine young
man from America, and you with the blessed
saints to teach you wisdom all these weary long
years.”
Ledyard stared down at her, young and awed
and tongue-tied.
“She’s—she’s the prettiest thing that I ever
saw—honestly.”
“Oh, prettier than that, young Bill. She’s the
prettiest thing that ever lived—or ever died.
And she was such a lovely little lunatic herself that
we get on famously. We know what a joke it all
is, don’t we, Biddy? God be praised, we even
know when it’s on us. There now, back you go,
mavourneen, while Mr. Billee Ledyar’ and I start
out hunting for another lady. Bill, take a look
across the kampong at the sun while I hunt up my
helmet—if it’s lower than Bhakdi’s roof you’d
better be off. It goes down like a rocket in these
parts, once it gets started.”
Young Ledyard flung open the great wooden
door that had barred out the heat, and a little
breeze came dancing in, barely stirring the strange
glossy leaves that clustered about the ladder-like
steps. The sky was blue as steel; behind the black
shadow of the Sultan’s residence there were livid
streaks—the world was silent and alien as a dream.
He shivered strongly, and stepped back into the
room.
“The sun’s set,” he said. “There’s someone
coming across from that shack you call a palace.”
The Honourable Tony strolled leisurely out of
his bedroom.
“Ghundi!” he commented after a brief inspection.
“The incomparable Ghundi.”
“Who the devil’s Ghundi?”
“He’s my head boy, William, and the delight
of my soul; the only honest man I ever knew, saving
your presence. I’ve taught him English, and
he’s taught me considerably more than that—oh,
considerably. What tidings, Ghundi?”
The bronze statue saluted with a grave and
beautiful precision.
“Master, the Great One says that the white
woman stays. Let your friend return down the
waters without her.”
The Honourable Tony lifted his brows.
“Stays with the Great One, Ghundi?”
“With the Great One, Master.”
The Honourable Tony glanced pensively at the
dark bulk of the palace.
“So much for that!” he murmured gently.
“Bear my compliments to the Great One, Ghundi.
Is all in readiness at the beach?”
“The raft waits, Master. Go swiftly, or your
friend will stumble in the night.”
“Excellent advice! Latch the door after you,
and on your way, William; I’ll come as far as the
beach. No, this way. The air feels cool as water,
doesn’t it? Smell that breeze; it’s straight down
from the jungle.”
“It smells of poison,” cried young Ledyard
fiercely. “The whole place is rank with it—it’s
crawling. Calvert—Calvert, come back with me.
I swear I’ll never let you regret it; I swear——”
“And here we are. Gad, we’re just in time if
you want to tell the raft from the river. In you
go, my lad, and off you go. Lord love you for
coming!”
“Calvert, I won’t—I’m not going.”
The Honourable Tony laid his hands lightly and
strongly on the boy’s shoulders, pushing him relentlessly
toward the water.
“My dearest kid, don’t be an ass. If you
stayed one minute longer, you’d ruin the best
memory of my life. I mean it. Off with
you.”...
He stood with one arm flung up in a reassuring
gesture of farewell until the bamboo raft with its
sandy-haired occupant vanished around the dim
curve of the river. The night was falling with the
velvet precipitation of the tropics—even while he
stood its dark mantle was about him; new perfumes
stole from its folds, troubling and exquisite,
and one by one its jewels shone out—the small,
ruddy fires of the kampong, an occasional lantern
swinging hurriedly by and, square by square, the
distant windows in the Sultan’s residence, flashing
aggressive as a challenge. He lowered his arm
somewhat abruptly. Very gay to-night, the Sultan’s
residence; gayer than was its wont—gay as
for some high festivity. The imperial Bhakdi
was not greatly given to such prodigal display of
oil and tallow; his mentor eyed the illumination
critically, and then, with the old indifferent shrug,
swung leisurely off through the blackness toward
the shadow deeper than the surrounding shadows
that was home. He ran lightly up the crazy steps,
felt for the latch—and drew back his hand as
sharply as though he had touched hot coal. He
had touched something more startling than any
coal; the groping fingers had closed on emptiness.
The latched door was open.
“Ghundi!” His voice cut sharply into the dark
space that a few minutes before had been a room,
green-cushioned, white-matted, commonplace, and
serene. “Ghundi!”
Silence—haunted and ominous. The Honourable
Tony leaned against the door frame and
addressed the shadows.
“Of course, this is frightfully jolly! I’d have
laid out a mat with welcome drawn up all over it
if I’d had the faintest notion of what was in store
for me—though that would have been a bit superfluous,
come to think of it! You seem to have
managed nicely without any mat at all. I hope
you’ve made yourself quite at home?”
Silence. The Honourable Tony did not move,
but he raised his voice.
“Mrs. Potts! I say, I hope you’ve made yourself
quite at home?”
From the hushed depths came a small, frantic
commotion.
“Ah, be qui-yet!” The desperate whisper
came toward him in a rush. “Be qui-yet, I do
implore!”
“Oh, my dear girl, come now! Silence may be
golden, and all that—and naturally I’m enormously
flattered at finding you lurking around the
corners of my humble abode, but before we do
away with the human voice entirely, why not have
a go at straightening out one or two minor matters?
The first being just precisely what in the devil
you’re doing here instead of on Ledyard’s boat?”
“Meestaire Honable Tonee, on my knees I pray
to you, be more quiyet! Lissen, lissen, come more
close. I tell you evairy thing. No, come more
close. Do not let them see—do not, do not let
them hear. Ah—ah—more sof’, more still! So!”
Out of the blackness the suppliant whisper drew
him like a taut thread—nearer, nearer—he stumbled
over something small and yielding, swore and
laughed in the same quick breath, and felt two
fluttering hands clutch at him, closing over his
wrist in frantic protest.
“No, no, do not laff—hush, do not laff, I say.”
“Well, but what in hell?” inquired the Honourable
Tony, softly enough to satisfy even his exigent
audience. “No, I say, drop it, there’s a good
little lunatic! I’m after the matches; they’re on
this table somewhere——”
“Honable Tonee—lissen—eef one of those
matches you should light, we die.”
“Oh, we do, do we? Well, death will be a
blessed relief for one of us and a just retribution
for the other. Why hasn’t someone killed you for
using that simply frightful stuff long before this,
Daisy?”
“What stuff ees that? Ah, ah, Honable Tonee,
I am a-frighten to die; I am a-frighten!”
“But after all, that hardly alters the merits of
the case, now does it? Though even death doesn’t
seem to quite expiate the crime! Do you bathe in
it?”
“But in what? Lissen—I tell you, lissen——”
“Lissen yourself, my child; it’s I who am going
to tell you. Apparently you’ve had no guidance
whatever so far, but precisely here is where you
acquire a guardian angel. Daisy, little girls have
been boiled in oil for less than using one drop of
the noxious fluid in which you are drowning.”
“No, I do not onnerstan’—no, but lissen, I beg,
I pray—you mus’ hide me, Honable Tonee, you
mus’ hide me fas’ before he come to keel us both.”
“Hide you?” The Honourable Tony yielded
to unregenerate mirth above the terrified murmurs
of protest. “My dear Potts, you might precisely
as well ask a thimble to hide a perfume
factory! Actually, you know, when I was clean
over there by the door, it fairly bowled me off my
feet.”
“Hush—oh, hush—eet ees my pairfume?”
“It is indeed—it most emphatically is.”
“You could know eet from that door?”
“I could know it from the far edge of the kampong.”
“Then they fin’ me—then, oh, they fin’ me!”
At the sick terror of that small wail the Honourable
Tony stirred.
“I say, you’re not really frightened, are you?”
“I am vairy frighten’ to die,” his visitor told him
simply. “You are not?”
“Well, I’d be jolly well let down, I can tell you!
It would upset my schedule no end; so if it’s all
right with you we might go on living for a bit.”
“But that I think we cannot do,” said the small,
chilled whisper.
“The deuce you say!” commented the Honourable
Tony pensively. He swung himself up onto
the table, and sat staring into the darkness for a
minute, his head cocked on one side, swinging his
long legs over its edge. “Look here, suppose we
stop entertaining each other and bag a few of the
blood-curdling facts. What do you say to diving
in again at the beginning of all the small talk, and
telling me just exactly what you’re doing trotting
into my humble dwelling and turning it into a
cross between a madhouse and a cemetery? The
woman’s touch, so long lacking, what? Do stop
crying; nothing in the whole world’s worth crying
about like that—not even that infernal perfume!”
“I cry becaus’ vairy greatly I am afraid,” she
explained gently. “An’ vairy greatly I am sorry
that I bring to your poor abode such pain an’ grief
an’ danger. I make you all excuse; I did not know
wair else to go—no, truly, truly I did not
know——”
“But why in the name of grief didn’t you go to
the boat?”
“Honable Tonee, eet was gone, eet was gone!”
“Oh, rot! The boat was here until a few minutes
ago. Look here, my dear child, if you’re
trying any of your little tricks on me, I can save
you any amount of time and trouble by tipping you
off to the fact that you’re heading straight for a
wash-out. This whole performance looks most
frightfully dodgy and I’m beginning to be pretty
fairly fed up. From brother Manuelo on——”
The limp bundle shivering quietly beneath his
fingers shivered more deeply still, and sighed.
“About Manuelo, that was a lie.”
“Well, it’s gratifying to have my worst suspicions
confirmed, naturally! But of all the confounded
cheek——”
“Eet was jus’ a lie that Manuelo he was my
brothair. Manuelo, he ees the belove’ of my
heart.”
“The devil he is!” The Honourable Tony’s
voice was edged with mild interest. “And may
I ask why the brotherly transformation?”
“What ees that?”
“Why the lie, Daisy?”
“Because men, too well do I know them. Ah,
ah, too well! Eef I say to Meestair Ledyar’, to
that black devil out from hell, to your own self,
Honable Tonee, that eet ees tryin’ to save the belove’
of my heart that I go crezzy in my haid and
die two thousan’ death from terror, you think they
lissen to me then? You think they help me then?
Well, me, I think not.”
“And me, I think not, too!” agreed the Honourable
Tony promptly. “Quite a student of human
nature, in your quiet way, aren’t you, Daisy?
I say, do let’s have some light on this! I don’t
think that Manuelo would fancy it for a moment
if he knew that we were all huddled up here
in the pitch-black whispering things at each
other.”
“Manuelo, one thousan’ time he have tell me eef
he fin’ me with a man alone, he cut the heart out
from our body.”
“Perhaps it’s all for the best that he’s going to
remain in the tin mines,” suggested the Honourable
Tony philosophically. “No cloud without a
silver lining, what? However, I’m going to humour
Manuelo to the extent of seeing that we have
all the light that a large lamp can cast over what I
trust is going to prove a brief interview. Do stop
whimpering, there’s a good child!”
“Honable Tonee, thees lamp you mus’ not light.
See, no longer I cry—no longer I make one soun’—only
thees lamp you mus’ not light. No, wait,
you do not onnerstan’——”
“You’re putting it conservatively, Daisy!”
“Wait, then, I tell you—all I make clear—but
no light. Eef there is a light, he know you are
here; eef he know you are here, he know that I, too,
am here—an’ eef he know I, too, am here, then we
die. That ees clear now?”
“Well, frankly, it still leaves a bit to be desired.
One or two minor gaps—who is it that’s going to
slay us when he comes to the conclusion that we’re
both here, Daisy? Manuelo?”
“No, no, no—Manuelo, I tell you, he dyin’ in
those tin mines.”
“Oh—well, then, candidly, you have me. If it
isn’t Manuelo, my mind is a perfect blank as to
who would profit by doing away with us. Unless—you
haven’t misled me about Mr. Potts, have
you?”
“Ah, what now?”
“Mr. Potts is still dead?”
“Honable Tonee, eet ees not well to mock—eet
ees not well to laff! He was dead like I say; eet
ees not good to mock the dead.”
“He has my abject apologies. But that brings
us back to the murderer.”
“Murderair?”
“By all means—the cove who’s going to dash in
and dispose of us if I light the lamp.”
“Honable Tonee, you know well eet ees he, that
mos’ accurse’ black devil of all black devils to
whom I pray to save my Manuelo.”
“Daisy, it can’t be our royal Bhakdi that you’re
referring to in these unmeasured terms?”
And suddenly she clung to him, weeping abjectly
through her clicking teeth.
“No, no, nevair say hees name—nevair spik it!
Wair ees there I can be hid—wair ees there I can
be hid far away? I am a-frighten to die—Manuelo—ah-h—Manuelo!”
The Honourable Tony felt for the small, untidy
silken head in the darkness, patting it with deft
but reluctant fingers.
“My dear kid, if it’s Bhakdi who’s been frightening
you into this state, it’s a good deal simpler
than one, two, three to straighten it out. Tell you
what: you curl up in this wicker chair—there, put
your head back, and take a long breath—and I’ll
stroll over to the royal residence and put the fear
of God and England into the little blighter. Don’t
howl; it’s going to be absolutely all serene, I
swear——”
But at that the soft convulsion of weeping
deepened to mysterious vehemence.
“No, no, nevair stir—nevair—nevair! He mus’
not know I come here; he mus’ not know I have
see you—eef he know that, you die——”
“Daisy, you’ve been running in too much to the
cinemas. What you need is a good stiff dose of
‘Alice in Wonderland.’ ‘Off with his head’, what?
My good child, the little bounder eats out of my
hand—either or both. He——”
“No, no, no, he keel you,” the frantic, obstinate
little voice stammered in desperate urgency.
“That he tell to me—that he say to me—he keel
you.”
“But in the name of the Lord, why?”
“Becaus’ I tell to heem that if once more he lay
on me hees black an’ dirty han’s I go to you for
help. Ah, Maria, hees han’s—ah, Manuelo,
Manuelo!”
“Daisy—Daisy, this is all simply too good to be
true; no, honestly, I’m wrenching my mind out of
its socket trying to believe you. You’ll swear he
said that he’d kill me? But why? Why?”
“Becaus’ ovair me he ees gone crezzy.” The
tear-sodden whisper was charged with mournful
pride. “Ovair me he ees gone crezzy mad. He
tell to me that he marry with me—that the jewels
from hees las’ two wive he give to me for prezzens——”
The Honourable Tony yielded to another gale of
delighted mirth.
“Well, upon my word, you couldn’t ask for anything
fairer than that! Why not accept?”
“Hush—hush—more still! You have forgot
Manuelo?”
“To be entirely candid, my child, I had forgot
Manuelo. It’s delightful to know that you haven’t,
however! Well, but then how in the world did
you get here?”
“I have jump out from a window.”
“From a—— Daisy, you’re making this up!”
“No, no—for why, for why should I make thees
up, Honable Tonee? Lissen, he have lock me up
in a great ogly room, until I come back into my
sense, he say, becaus’ so bad I cry an’ scream, an’
cry an’ scream—lissen, so then I jump from out
that window. Ah, ah, Dios, eet was too high,
that window; my haid eet ache, my haid eet ache
so bad, while I have crawl an’ crawl through all the
black—but that boat he was gone away, Honable
Tonee, an’ me, I am a-frighten till I die, becaus’ I
do not know wair to go. Lissen, I am a mos’ bad
girl—I bring to you danger an’ worry, but my haid
eet hurt, and I do not know wair——”
“My dear Daisy, you knew exactly.” The
Honourable Tony administered a final reassuring
pat, and swung off from the table. “You showed
really extraordinary judgment, not to go into the
matter of taste. This is Liberty Hall, my priceless
child; you should feel entirely at home with
practically no effort. Before you settle down
definitely, however, we might run over our
lines in case the Imperial Bhakdi takes it into
his head to drop in on us before we’ve worked
out any very elaborate campaign for Liberty
and Manuelo, the heart’s belove’. D’you think
he’s liable to dash over before I could hunt
up Ghundi and a sampan, and head you down
stream?”
“No, no—no, no, no—do not leave me! No, I
die when you shall leave me!”
“Oh, come!” remonstrated the Honourable Tony
blithely. “That’s spreading it on fairly thick,
you know—I don’t believe that Manuelo would
pass over that kind of thing for a minute. Look
here, I’ll be back before you can get through Jack
Robinson——”
“No! No!”
It was indecent for any living creature to show
such abject terror, more like a tortured and
frenzied kitten than a sane human being. The
Honourable Tony shrugged his shoulders.
“Oh, it’s quite all right with me, you know! I
simply thought if the little beggar was roving about
it might be tidier and simpler to get you out of the
way—though it would be any amount jollier if
you were around, naturally. We could do something
nice with a screen—or there’s the other
room; on the whole, that has more possibilities.
By Gad, we can get some simply stunning effects,
with practically no trouble at all. I’ve an automatic
in there.”
“Ah-h-h!”
“My dear kid, don’t go off like that again, or I
won’t let you put a finger on it. In the extremely
remote event that I am dragged kicking and
screaming from the scene of action, however, you
could do some very amusing tricks with it, including
potting our imperial friend. Are you a good
shot, Daisy?”
“No, no—what you say now? Do not let heem
come; do not let heem—no thing could I shoot—no
thing——”
“Well, there’s one thing that any duffer in the
world can shoot,” said the Honourable Tony
soothingly. “There’s absolutely no use shaking
like that; not as long as any stupid little girl in the
world can shoot herself! It’s a simply ripping
pistol, Daisy.” He put one arm about her, light
and close, and she relaxed against it with a strange,
comforted little moan. “So that’s that; of course
there’s not half a chance in a thousand that the
little beggar won’t grovel all over the place; I’ll tell
him that if he lays one finger on a British subject,
I’ll take jolly good care that England turns it into
an international matter——”
“Oh, for that, he does not care!”
“How do you mean, doesn’t care?”
“No, for Englan’ he does not care—no, not
that! When I say to heem that great Englan’
will protec’ me, he laff right out an’ say, ‘Englan’,
bah!’”
“Oh, he said that, did he?” inquired the Honourable
Tony grimly. “Well, that’s not a pretty
thing for any fat little Sultan to say.” He grinned
suddenly into the darkness. “‘Englan’, bah!’
Come to think of it, I’ve murmured something
fairly like it myself once or twice. But then I’m
not a fat little Sultan; I happen to be an Englishman!
Daisy, will you swear not to howl if I tell
you something?”
“What now?”
“Well, now it begins to look as though things
were going to happen. There’s a fair-sized cluster
of lights bearing down this way from the royal
imperial palace at a good fast clip, and I’m rather
inclined to think that it’s time for little girls that
have heart’s beloveds in the mines to be trotting
off to a more secluded spot. How about it?”
“Yes, yes, I go.” There was a strange and
touching docility in the small voice. “Wair now
do I go, Honable Tonee?”
“Here—this way—where’s your hand? Quiet,
now; sure you aren’t going to howl?”
“No; no.”
“That’s right; here’s the door—nothing in the
world to howl about, naturally. Wait, and I’ll
find you a chair; or you can curl up on the bed if
you’d rather. That comfortable?”
“Oh, that—that is mos’ comfortable.”
“Good. Now for God’s sake, emulate the well-known
mouse! The revolver’s on the table. No—no—don’t
touch it now. Oh, Lucifer, that
perfume! It’ll be our ruin—a headless jackass
could smell it in Singapore. Here, let’s have your
handkerchief—quick! Steady on there. We’re
about to receive callers, Daisy!”
There was the sound of feet on the rickety
steps—the sound of hands at the outer door.
The Honourable Tony bent down swiftly; kicked
off one shoe—the other—ripped off the white linen
coat and the blue silk scarf, and strode leisurely
across the threshold of his bedroom door with his
head on one side and his hands in his pockets.
“What in the devil?” he inquired amiably of
the bronze statue standing in the pool of light at
the head of the stairs. The statue stirred, and
behind it other lights gleamed and danced in darkness.
“Oh—it’s you, Ghundi! What’s the row?
“Master, the Great One bids that you bring the
woman and come swiftly to the palace.”
“Bring what woman?” inquired the Honourable
Tony, lazily diverted. “I say, Ghundi, the Great
One hasn’t been having a go at that brandy again,
has he?”
The statue did not move but in the pool of light
its eyes shone, eloquent and imploring.
“Master, jests will not serve you now. She was
seen to enter here by the little son of the head-beater.
The Great One says to make all haste.”
“Well, inform the Great One from me with cordial
salutations that haste is totally foreign to my
nature,” remarked the Honourable Tony affably.
“If the largest tiger in the jungle was sitting a paw’s
length off, I couldn’t possibly move rapidly—it’s
a most frightful handicap, I can tell you! As for
the little son of the head-beater, let him be well
beaten and allowed no fish for three days, or he
will grow up to be as great a liar as his father.
Shocking what these infants go in for! Did he
mention the lady’s name?”
“Master, master, it is well known that it is the
white woman who came up the waters with your
friend. You do ill to delay.”
“Ghundi, it’s never Mrs. Potts? Not the ravishing
Mrs. Potts? You know, that’s pretty
priceless in itself. Now suppose you collect all
your little playmates out there and totter back to
the Great One and inform him as gracefully as
possible that the ineffable Potts has gone down the
waters that she came up, reluctantly escorted by
Mr. Billee Ledyar’. Present my condolences.
She just caught the boat by the skin of her little
white teeth. I agree with the Great One that it’s
a thousand pities that she caught it at all.”
“Master, I am your servant. I have served you
well—I have loved you better. My heart is yours
to use for your meat, my skin for your carpet; for
them I care nothing. If I return without you,
they slay me—if I remain with you, they slay me—it
is all one. But you—you are my master—you
are my son—you are my father. Delay no longer;
the woman was seen to enter here—she has not
come out.”
The Honourable Tony did not stir from his careless
station before the bedroom door, but something
leapt across the guarded space to that dark
and lonely figure—something more warm, more
friendly, more reassuring than any touch of hands.
“Ghundi, there are two fellows this side of
Heaven that I’d give a good bit to take there with
me when I go. That sandy-haired young lunatic
who came up the waters is one of them—and you’re
the other. Now cut along back to the Great One,
like a good fellow, and tell him that I was as good as
tucked in for the night when you found me, with a
nice little flicker of fever. If I wasn’t cagy about
this dashed night air I’d nip over with you and
explain; as it stands, I’ll trot over the first thing in
the morning. Good-night, old chap; wish the
Great One happy dreams.”
Ghundi’s grave voice was suddenly heavy with
despair.
“Master, she is here. The air about us cries it
to all who breathe.”
“Absolutely sickening, what?” agreed the Honourable
Tony. “Jockey Club, I understand. I
picked up her beastly little handkerchief on the
beach path, coming back from the boat—it’s
fairly sopped in it. Here, catch—I was going to
send it back to her, but God knows when it would
reach her. The Great One might fancy it; compliments
of the season—corking souvenir, what?”
Ghundi stared down at the wet white ball in his
clenched fist.
“Master—I was told to search——”
“And that’ll be about all of that,” remarked the
Honourable Tony. A peculiarly ingratiating smile
curved the corners of his lips, and he took both
hands from his pockets and made an expressive
gesture toward the long windows above the water.
“A little more chatter like that and out you go to
the crocodiles. Come on now, cut along like a
nice chap—my head’s buzzing no end, and I’m mad
for sleep. I’ll have my tea at seven on the tick.
And some of that jolly sticky preserve——”
The dark, troubled face was lit suddenly by a
smile, gleaming white as a benediction, grave and
tender and indulgent.
“Where you go,” said Ghundi, “there may I be
to serve you! Farewell, little master.”
He turned back to the dancing lights below him
with a sharp word of command, and as quietly as
he had come was gone, passing silently down the
rickety steps into the night. There was a swift
murmur of protest from the waiters, quelled; the
light shuffle of feet; the rustle of parted leaves—silence.
The Honourable Tony stood for a moment
listening for any echo of the small dying
sounds—whistled the opening bars of “Where Do
We Go From Here, Boys?” twice over with fine
accuracy and restraint, shoved open the bedroom
door, and yielded himself unreservedly to joyous
retrospection.
“My word, fairly neat, eh, Daisy? What price
the bit about the handkerchief? And the buzzing
head, what? I swear I had no idea I’d be so good.
Fancy what a loss to the stage—or Scotland Yard—no,
no, more sport keeping out of Scotland Yard;
well, then, so that’s that. Now what?”
There was a small sound that might have been
a shiver, and a whisper, strange and lonely as a
dream, answered him.
“Now then, farewell, Honable Tonee.”
“Farewell? Thinking of leaving me, Daisy?”
“Yes. Now I am thinkin’—of leavin’ you.”
“My poor kid, you’ll shiver your pretty teeth
out if you keep up like this; I swear I ought to be
drawn and quartered for a thumping brute.
After all, it isn’t as much of a lark for you as it is
for me, is it? Now just what are we going to do
about you?”
“Honable Tonee, eet ees not for me I shiver; eet
ees for you. Becaus’ you do not onnerstan’—becaus’
you laff—becaus’ you do not know that all,
all ees end. That is mos’ terrible—that you who
are good an’ great an’ love’ by all those Saints do
not know that eet ees end. Of all those Saints
and you I ask pardon—I ask pardon, pardon that
thees I have done to you——”
“My dear little lunatic, you’ve done nothing in
the world to me; the blighter knows that if he laid
a finger on me he’d be as good as cutting his throat.
While I’m not much given to swanking about it,
half of the big sticks in England are my cousins
and my uncles and my aunts, and though it’s
rather a grief to us all, they’d simply chew him up
if he administered as much as a scratch to anything
as sacred as a Bolingham hide. No, I’m a good
deal righter than rain and you take a weight off
my mind about the sentiments of all those Saints;
the question before the house is, what about you?”
“Me? Oh, me, eet ees no mattair. Me, I am
through.”
“Daisy, I’m just a bit afraid you’re right. We
might as well face the fact at the start that I’m
no match for the entire Imperial army, even if an
important item of their defence does consist of
green panties. You wouldn’t consider chucking
it?”
“How, chuckin’?”
“You don’t think that Manuelo would understand
if you took the two last wives’ jewels
and——”
“Ah,” moaned the little voice in the darkness,
“that ees a wicked, that ees a black an’ ogly thing
to say. Me, I am no good—me, I am no good at
all—but that you should have nevair say to
me——”
“My dear,” said the Honourable Tony gently,
“you’re as good as gold, and I’m a black-hearted
scoundrel that Manuelo ought to flog from here to
his tin mines. In this world or the next, he has
my congratulations; tell him from me that he’s a
lucky devil, won’t you? Now then, I’m off for
the other room. I’ll light the lamp, and give a
cracking good imitation of an earnest reader for
the benefit of any callers. In case it doesn’t meet
with the proper applause—just in case, you know—here’s
the revolver. You might bolt the door
after I’m gone; that way you’ll have any amount
of time. Not going to be lonely, are you? You
can hear me just as well as though I still were in
the room. Moreover, I’m leaving a lady to take
care of you.”
“A ladee?”
“The Duchess of Bolingham. Feel this little
black frame? Well, she’s in there; hold on tight
to her. You two are going to adore each other.”
“No, but I do not onnerstan’; what, what ees
thees?”
“This is my mother, Daisy; her first name is
Biddy. I think she’s going to want you to call her
by her first name.”
“But she ees daid, your mothair?”
“Dead? That’s the most idiotic description of
Biddy; however, there may be something in what
you say, though you’ll never get her to admit it.
Now, then, quite all right? Sure? Good-bye,
little Daisy.”
“Honable Tonee.”
He had to bend his head to catch that faint and
wavering whisper.
“Yes?”
“Honable Tonee, becaus’ thees room eet ees so
black an’ still—not, not that I am a-frighten, but
becaus’ thees room eet ees so black an’ still, would
you be so vairy kin’ to kiss me good-bye? Manuelo—Manuelo,
he would onnerstan’. You do not
think that ladee would be angery?”
The Honourable Tony bent his bright head to
the dark one, and laid his gay lips swiftly and
surely on the small painted mouth.
“That lady would be terrible in anger if I didn’t.
Daisy, what nice perfume! Nicest I ever smelled
in all my life. I’m going to get bottles and bottles
of it. All right now, little thing? Good-night
then—Biddy, you look after her; show her all the
prettiest places up there—mind the two of you
keep out of mischief! Slip the bolt behind me,
Daisy.”
With a last touch on her hair, light and caressing
as his voice, he was gone through the darkness.
He pulled the door to behind him noiselessly, and
stood leaning against it for a moment with bowed
head, listening. Silence—a faint patter of feet—the
heavy grating of the bolt driven home. He
raised his head.
“Good girl!” said the Honourable Tony clearly.
He swung across to the table, felt for the
matches, and lit the lamp deftly and swiftly, pulling
the long chair into its friendly aura and distributing
the cushions with a rapid dexterity that
belied the lethargy that he had maintained tigers
incapable of disturbing. But then, a little wind
had just passed through the quiet room—a little
wind that blew in heavy with darkness and fragrance
and something else—heavy with a distant
murmur of voices, and far-off footsteps coming
nearer through the night. It passed as it came,
but the flame in the lamp flickered and burned
brighter, and the flame that danced in the eyes of
the gentleman reclining in the long chair flickered
and burned brighter, too, though they were discreetly
lowered over the account of a highly unsavory
Bazaar murder in a two-month-old paper
from Singapore. Even when the footsteps were
on the rickety stairs he continued to read; even
when they were on the threshold he only bent his
head a little lower, intent and absorbed; even when
the knocks rang out, ominous and insistent, he did
not lift those dancing eyes. He flipped over the
first page of the Singapore paper with a dexterous
thumb and finger, and lifted his voice in welcome
leavened with surprise.
“Come in!” called the Honourable Tony to
those who stood in darkness. And the door
opened and they came in.
First there came a small, plump, swarthy gentleman
in immaculate white linen of an irreproachable
cut. He had small neat feet shod
in the shiniest of patent-leather boots, and small
fat hands adorned with three superb emeralds,
and a set of highly unpleasant little cat whiskers
curling into a grizzled gray at the ends.
About his throat was a scarlet watered ribbon
from which dangled a star as glittering as a
Christmas tree ornament, and about his head was
wound a turban of very fine red silk pierced by a
brooch in which crouched another emerald large as
a pigeon egg, flawed and sinister and magnificent.
In one fat little hand he held a pair of white kid
gloves and a small handkerchief badly crumpled;
in the other a swagger stick of ebony banded with
smooth gold. He walked on the tips of his patent-leather
toes, and behind him came ten gigantic
figures in incredible green uniforms with gold-laced
jackets that were debtors to the Zouaves, and
fantastic caps strapped under their chins reminiscent
of the organ-grinder’s monkey and the dancing
vaudeville bellboy. Lanterns light as bubbles
swung from their great paws and in the gilded holsters
at their waists the mother-of-pearl handles of
the famous automatics gleamed like the Milky Way.
They padded behind their master, silent as huge
cats, and smiled at one another like delighted
children. His Imperial Majesty, the Sultan
Bhakdi, accompanied by the Royal Body Guard,
was making a call on the British Adviser.
The British Adviser rose easily to his feet.
“Your Majesty!” he saluted, with precisely the
correct inflection of gratified amazement.
“Excellency!” His Majesty’s accent was a
trifle more British than the Honourable Tony’s,
but he purred in his throat, which is not done.
“We were alarmed by the good Ghundi’s report of
your health. You suffer?”
“Oh, Ghundi’s overdone it!” protested the
Honourable Tony, all courteous regret, but the
carved dimples danced. “I’m no end sorry that
you’ve had all this bother. It’s frightfully decent
of you to give it a thought; nothing in the world
the matter but a rather stiff nip of fever. I was going
to turn in in another minute, and sleep it off. I
beg any number of pardons for this costume; it’s
hardly one that I’d have chosen for such an honour.”
“Hardly!” agreed the Sultan cordially.
“Hardly! However, as the visit was unheralded,
and as the defects of the costume may be so easily
remedied, we dismiss it gladly. Come, we waive
formality; we have been bored most damnably
without you and the excellent bridge. The mountain
comes to Mahomet; my good Mahomet, on
with your boots, on with your coat, and out with
your cards. We will drive off this pestilential
fever with three good rubbers and four good drinks.
Ahmet will fetch your coat. It is in your room?
Ahmet!”
The Honourable Tony moved more swiftly than
Ahmet. He laid one hand on the handle of the
bedroom door, but he did not turn it.
“I’m absolutely sick over making such an ass of
myself,” he said with pleasing candour. “But I
do honestly feel too rotten bad to last out even a
hand. I’ll be fit as a fiddle in the morning, and
entirely at Your Majesty’s disposal; but for to-night
I’m going to ask you to excuse me.”
“But to-night we will most certainly not excuse
you,” His Imperial Majesty replied amiably.
“No, no, on the contrary. Rather not, as you
say. To-night, Excellency, we are quite through.
We have been culpably lenient and indulgent in
the past; we have overlooked one hundred stupid
impertinences and five hundred impertinent stupidities,
but your bridge—your bridge was impeccable
and we have long desired to perfect our
game. Now, however, you outreach our patience.
Stand aside, I beg you. When Ahmet fetches
your Excellency’s coat and your Excellency’s
boots, he will also fetch your Excellency’s lady.”
The Honourable Tony gave a shout of astounded
delight.
“My hat!” he cried. “But this is simply gorgeous.
All this time that I’ve been ragging you
you’ve been plotting a bloody revenge?”
“Revenge,” replied His Imperial Majesty, with
an impatient flick of the white gloves, “is an incident.
I wish the woman. Stand aside!”
“It’s a dream,” decided the Honourable Tony,
cocking his head with Epicurean satisfaction.
“No, by Heaven, it’s better than a dream. Just
what are you going to do if I don’t stand aside?”
“Shoot you where you stand. Come, come—we
are over-patient.”
The Honourable Tony sighed beatifically, as one
whose cup of joy was full to overflowing.
“Oh, come now, if you ask me, you’re dashed
impatient. Shooting me down in this damn casual
way—what d’you think the British Government’s
going to make of it?”
“Nothing,” replied the British Government’s
loyal ally blandly. “Nothing whatsoever. In due
time the proper authorities will be informed that
you were lost overboard on an expedition after
crocodiles, and owing to the unfortunate proclivities
of those depraved reptiles, your body was not
recovered. I do not imagine that the loss will afflict
the Government so deeply as you imagine.”
The Honourable Tony’s manner changed
abruptly from enchanted amusement to the cold
insolence of a badly spoiled young man dismissing
his valet.
“And that’s enough,” he said. “Take your
army and be off. You’re dashed amusing, but
you overdo it. If an apology from you were worth
the breath you draw, I’d have one out of you for
the country that I represent and its representative.
As it is, I give you fair warning to clear out; I’m
about fed up.”
“Till I count three to stand aside,” remarked
His Imperial Majesty conversationally, abandoning
the royal “we” as though it were no longer
necessary in so informal a discussion, “I shall regret
the bridge.”
“You can count to three thousand if you can
get that far,” the Honourable Tony informed him
politely. “But while you’re about it you might
remember that we’re in the twentieth century, not
the Adelphi Theatre.”
“We are in Asia,” said His Imperial Majesty.
“Life is good, Excellency, and Death, I am told, is
a long and dreary affair. The woman is not
worth it—a gutter rat out of the music halls.
It is her good fortune to amuse me. Stand aside,
I beg!”
“My mother was from the music halls,” said the
Honourable Tony. “I have half a mind to mop
up the floor with you before I turn in.”
“You are a brave man,” said His Imperial
Majesty equably. “And a fool.” He turned to
the black and emerald giants, and they quivered
slightly. “Attention!”
The giants ceased quivering and stood very
straight.
“Ready!” said Bhakdi softly. The pearl-handled
automatics flashed like jewels.
“Aim!” said Bhakdi with a flick of the handkerchief
toward the slim figure framed in the doorway.
“You ought to be jolly grateful to me for teaching
you all those nice words,” remarked the figure
reproachfully. “They sound simply corking when
you snap ’em out like that.”
“I count,” said Bhakdi. “One.”
“I wish you could see yourselves,” said the
Honourable Tony admiringly. “For all the world
like a lot of comic-opera pirates panting to get into
the chorus when the tenor says ‘go.’ ‘For-I’m-the-big-bad-black-faced-chief’—you
know the
kind of thing.”
“Two,” said Bhakdi.
“I say, you are going it!” cried the British Adviser.
In the gleam from the lanterns his hair
was ruffled gold and his eyes black mischief.
“Aren’t you afraid of its being a bit of a let-down
to the Imperial Guard after all this?”
“Three!” said Bhakdi, and he flicked the
handkerchief again. “Fire!”
There was a rip and a rattle of sound along the
green line—from the other side of the bolted door
there came a faint reply, precise and sharp as an
echo. The Honourable Tony sagged forward to
his knees, still clutching at the handle, his face lit
with an immense, an incredulous amazement.
“By God!” he whispered. “By God, you’ve
done it!”
And suddenly in the lean curve of his cheek the
dimples danced once more, riotous and unconquered.
“I say,” he murmured, “I say, Biddy, that’s—that’s
a good one! Comic opera, what? That—that’s
a good one—on me——”
His fingers slipped from the door, and he was
silent.