A SOUTH-AUSTRALIAN STORY.
Towards the end of November, about two years
ago, I received the following curt note from my
brother Donald, who like myself is a sheep-farmer
in South Australia. ‘My dear Jerry,
Lizzie sends her love, and hopes to see you when
your shearing is over, as usual. If you’ll say
what day, I’ll fetch you from Ballarat.—Yours
affectionately,
Don Gardiner.’
‘N.B.—Just begun to wash the wool. Lizzie’s
sister says she has seen my apparatus at Conolly’s,
but I don’t think it. Ask Conolly.’
Conolly was a neighbour of mine, and he
chanced to have brought me Don’s letter, and to
be lighting his pipe at my elbow while I read it.
‘Conolly,’ said I, ‘do you know any of Mrs
Gardiner’s sisters? She has an unlimited number,
I believe, for I have met a fresh one—sometimes
two fresh ones—every Christmas for about half-a-dozen
years, and here is still another I never
heard of. She appears to be acquainted with you
and this neighbourhood’——
‘O yes; that’s Cinderella,’ interrupted Conolly,
as he abstracted a bundle of newspapers from our
joint post-bag and began to rip the wrapping
from them. ‘Haven’t you seen Cinderella? She
was never out of Tasmania, I suppose, until last
spring, when she was staying up here with
the Macdonalds. The Macdonald girls called
her Cinderella because she had always been the
one to stay at home and keep house while the
others went about. Her proper name is Rachel.
O Jerry, Jerry!’ he broke out suddenly, laughing
in what seemed to me a very offensive manner
(my proper name I may mention being Gerald),
‘your sister-in-law Lizzie will be too many for
you. She won’t let you escape this time. She
has kept Rachel as her last card.’
‘If ever I marry a woman with such a name
as that, I hope I shall be a henpecked husband
for the rest of my life!’ I retorted angrily, seizing
a paper-knife and beginning to tear away at the
Australasian, so as to drown further conversation
upon what was a very sore subject.
My brother Donald’s wife Lizzie was as good
and kind a little woman as ever breathed, but like
many young wives in happy circumstances, she
was a matchmaker. And being impulsive, effusive,
and not quite—what shall I call it? I don’t like
to say she was not quite a lady, but that would
suggest my meaning—she did not pursue her
calling with that tact and judgment which its
delicate nature required. I need not say more,
except that she had a number of spinster sisters,
and one only bachelor relative, who lived all by
himself in single-blessedness on his own fine and
thriving property, and that I was that male victim.
I beg pardon of all the Misses Lindsay for using
such a term; I was not a victim as far as they
were concerned. But I did feel it hard that I
should be laughed at wherever I went as the
captive knight of half-a-dozen fair ones, when I
had never had the choosing of one of them.
When I received the above letter I had just
seen my last wool-bale packed on the last bullock-dray
and started on its slow journey to Melbourne;
and the day after I set off myself on
my yearly visit to Don. He was less fortunate
in respect of sheep-shearing than I, for living in
an exceptionally cool district, where an exceptionally
wet and wintry spring had kept everything
behindhand, he had still all his troubles to come.
I thought of that as I buttoned myself into my
Ulster, which I was glad of that cold morning,
though Christmas was only a month off; and I
reflected that I should be the only unemployed
man at the disposal of the household until the
shearing was over, and foresaw (as I thought) the
consequences. I made up my mind, however,
that I would defy Lizzie’s machinations in a more
systematic manner than heretofore. May I be forgiven
for so priggish a determination.
It was midnight before I reached Ballarat, where
Don usually met me; but upon this occasion I
found a telegram stating that he was too busy to
leave his farm, and would send for me next day.
So I had one game of pool at the club and went to
bed; and next morning enjoyed an hour or two
over newly arrived English papers and periodicals,
and a solitary lunch; and then the familiar old
ramshackle buggy and the beautiful horses Don
was famed for made their appearance, and I
set off on the last stage of my journey. When
I arrived at my destination it was dark and
raining heavily; and the groom who opened the
stable-gate told me that my brother had not long
come up from the wash-place and was interviewing
shearers at the hut. I was wet and muddy,
so I went straight to my room without even
asking for my sister-in-law, who was usually in
her nursery at that hour, and proceeded to make
myself respectable for dinner. Presently I heard
Don about the passages (the house was ‘weather-board’
and the partitions extremely thin) asking
the servants where I was; and then his head and
a half-bared neck appeared in the narrow aperture
between my door and the door-post.
‘Glad to see you, old boy; but I’m too dirty
to come in,’ said he. ‘Seen Lizzie?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Seen Rachel?’
‘Not yet. But I say, old man, would you mind
telling me how many more sisters you’ve got?’
‘No more,’ said Don with a grin. ‘She’s the
last one, and she’s the best of them all.’
‘Then I hope I may be allowed for once to
enjoy the society of one of Lizzie’s sisters, in a
friendly way,’ I grumblingly responded (for I may
as well admit that Don and I had had confidences
of old on this subject). ‘Don’t you think you
could give Lizzie a notion that I don’t mean to
get married, or that I’ve a sweetheart up the
country, or something of that sort?’
‘Not I,’ rejoined my brother, laughing. ‘I’m
not going to spoil her fun, poor little soul; you’re
old enough to take care of yourself.’ And with
that he went off, whistling cheerfully, to his
dressing-room.
When I had completed my toilet, I gathered up
some boxes of choice cigars that I had been purchasing
in town, and carried them to the door
of the adjoining apartment, which had been Don’s
smoking-room ever since I had known it. To
my surprise, the bolt shot sharply as I touched the
handle, and I heard a rustle of drapery inside.
A housemaid coming along with lamps for the
dinner-table called out hastily: ‘O sir, that is Miss
Rachel’s room now. The smoking-room is at the
end of the verandah, where Miss Carry slept last
year. Mrs Gardiner wished it to be changed
because she didn’t like the smell of tobacco so
near the bedrooms.’
I took back my boxes, thinking no more about
it, and went on to the drawing-room, which was
full of light and warmth and comfort, as usual,
and where I found two of my little nieces sitting
demurely on a sofa in their best frocks, ready to
rush into my arms. Lizzie came hurrying in
after me, rosy and radiant, and with plenty of
flounces and colours about her, and gave me her
own enthusiastic welcome; and then Don, spruce
and perfumed, joined us. Don in his early years
had been a dandy, and a little youthful weakness
remained in him still. He never came to dinner
without rings on his fingers and subtle odours in
his clothes; and he was at great pains to keep a
pair of Dundreary whiskers accurately adjusted on
each side of a closely shaven chin. He had been
ten years in the Bush, and had never objected
to ‘roughing it’ in a general way; but he persisted
in shaving himself every morning, let what
would, happen; which singular habit in an Australian
country gentleman very much puzzled his
bearded friends. I for one, used to quiz him
as well as I knew how, when I saw him swathe
his neck in a handkerchief, before going out to his
work, if the sun shone too strongly; but I respect
his little vanities nowadays, and hope he will keep
his white throat and his Dundreary whiskers as
long as he lives, bless him. He took one of his
little girls on his knee, and questioned me about
my station matters and about Conolly’s sheep-wash
(which was not so well furnished with improvements
as his own, much to his satisfaction);
and Lizzie gave me an account of the development
of her respective children since I had seen them
last, including the cutting of the baby’s teeth;
and then the dinner-bell rang.
‘Where’s Rachel?’ inquired Don.
I turned a languid eye upon the door when we
heard the sound of a distant rustle, expecting to
see one of the smart and smiling damsels I was so
used to, and wondering whether this one would
be dark or fair. With a slow and quiet step she
came along the hall and entered the room, and
my heart began suddenly to beat in a very unpleasant
manner. She had a delicate, thoughtful,
but piquant face, wavy brown hair modestly
and becomingly set, and a slight figure daintily
dressed in pale blue silk, with a little white lace
about throat and arms; and yet she was the image
of Marie Antoinette in Delaroche’s picture, only
with a more majestic dignity of carriage, if that
could be, and a more cold and calm disdain upon
her face. As soon as I saw her, and felt the exceedingly
faint acknowledgment she vouchsafed
when we were formally introduced, I intuitively
guessed—with a horrible sense of shame and mortification—that
she had overheard what I said to
Don in my bedroom through those card-paper
walls!
I never thought I should feel so concerned at
standing ill with one of Lizzie’s sisters as I felt
before that evening came to an end. All through
dinner I saw, without looking, offended dignity in
the poise of her head and the studied repose of
her manner, and heard the ring of it in every
inflection of her voice, though it was so subtle and
delicate that only a guilty conscience could detect
it. It was a great deal worse in the evening, when
Lizzie began her fussy little contrivances for
throwing us together. The poor little woman
never had so impracticable and aggravating a sister
to manage; and I never met one who attempted
to treat me with such open indifference and thinly-veiled
contempt. It is unnecessary for me to state
the consequences. I began to interest myself in
this Miss Lindsay as I had never interested myself
in the others. I began to hanker for her good
opinion, as I had never hankered for theirs. I
longed to set myself straight with her, and beg her
forgiveness for a thoughtless insult that I would
have given worlds to recall, and to feel that the
way was open between us to meet and associate as
friends. This longing grew apace as the evening
wore on, but the prospect of its gratification grew
less and less. Until the little ones were taken
away by their nurse she devoted herself to them,
telling them stories most of the time in a dark
corner, whence merry chatter and ripples of subdued
laughter came flowing out to us; but when
they were gone, the bright vivacity that was her
true characteristic went too, and she became Marie
Antoinette again.
With an amiable wish to make things pleasant,
Lizzie asked her to pour out the tea; but she
merely stood in front of me at the tea-table, with
her little nose in the air, and asked me whether
I took sugar and cream, in a high clear tone
that brought a puzzled wonder into her sister’s
face and a slow smile to Don’s. I came and
stood beside her, to take the cups from her
hand (her pretty head was about level with the
flower in my button-hole), and she tried to ignore
me, but could not. Her hands shook slightly and
a little angry flush came and went in her face;
but I preferred that to having no notice at all.
Later on she went to the piano, and sung song
after song for the delectation of Lizzie and Don,
neither of whom had the hearing ear and the
understanding heart to appreciate the pure quality
and poetic sweetness of her voice. By this time I
was very low-spirited, and I drew away from my
host, who was growing sleepy after his hard day’s
work, and took a chair near her—which of course
was a signal to Lizzie to leave the room. As
she sung on, forgetful of me and of everything but
the poetry awaking in her, and as I studied the
pose of her slight figure and half-bent head, and
the now dreamy happiness in her face, and listened
for the first time after many years to the true
translation of a language that I loved, a vague perception
dawned in me that there was some latent
fellowship between us. And then I felt that
Fate had indeed been hard.
The silence of the room was presently brought
into strong relief by a deep snore from Don,
whereupon she suddenly rose from the piano and
saw that we were virtually alone. ‘Good-night,
Mr Gardiner,’ she said promptly, holding out a
somewhat reluctant hand and stiffening back into
her unnatural stateliness.
I took it and held it and looked into her face;
and I tried to tell her, as well as plain ‘good-night’
would do it, that I knew what had happened
and wanted her to forgive me. I think she
guessed what my look meant, by the sudden
crimson flame in her face; but she walked out of
the room with as much dignity as she had first
walked into it, without another word.
The early days of December were cold and wet,
and the shearing was a protracted and troublesome
affair. Don hovered about restlessly, whether in
or out of the house, always bothered and anxious,
and paying frequent visits to the barometer. The
ladies clung to their fireside as if they had been in
England; and I tied myself to Lizzie’s apron-string
with an abject alacrity that puzzled and charmed
her. My opportunities for ‘improving the occasion’
were many, but somehow I could never turn
them to account. The pride of that little maiden
was quite beyond my management. Lizzie threw
us together; she left us alone; she did all that in
her lay to further my desires for a reconciliation
and an understanding; but the implacable resentment
of the last of the Lindsays towards me for
that wretched slip of the tongue was a stone wall
I could not climb over. The worst of it was,
she did and said nothing tangibly offensive; and
I was precluded by all sorts of considerations from
mentioning the subject we were both (and that we
both knew we were) thinking of. So matters went
on day after day. And before a great many days
were past I was over head and ears in love—I may
as well say it and have done with it—and began
to feel desperate and dangerous. She walked
about the house with her grand air, my Queen
Marie Antoinette, my little tyrant that I could
almost have demolished with a finger and thumb;
and I, standing six feet three in my stockings, had
to acknowledge that she was invincible as well as
unmerciful. Unregenerate savage as I was, I had
faint longings now and then to take her by those
slender shoulders, and shake her.
There were times when she became her sweet
self, and could not help it though she tried; and
these times were born of music. She and I both
loved music with that special love that nature
permits to a few people; but to no one else in the
house did the ‘heaven-born maid’ present attractions.
Don, hard at work all day, could go to
sleep after dinner in his arm-chair; and Lizzie,
after her manner, could go out of the room in the
middle of the most charming song. Then, when
we were singing together, or when she was gentle
and gracious with the spirit of melody in her, then
was the oil thrown upon my troubled waters. At
times such as these it flashed across me that she
was aware of it.
At length on one of these occasions I made a
dash at her guarded citadel; I will not say in what
words, but with the blundering foolishness that
I suppose characterises all implied aspirations;
albeit with sufficient plainness to leave no chance
of being misunderstood; and then I had indeed to
bite the dust for once in my life. She had been
singing Ruth with the most touching pathos and
abandonment—‘Where thou goest I will go, and
there will I be buried’—and I could not stand it.
Don was in the room, but snoring in that comfortable
undertone which denoted a sound and quiet
slumber. She stood with her back to the piano,
and the sheet of music trembling and rustling in
her hands, watching his nodding head in the
distance, and turning her delicate profile to my
view.
‘No; I will not,’ she half whispered with
haughty rapidity. ‘You should have known I
would not. I do not particularly want to marry
anybody,’ she added, flashing round upon me with
her crimson face; ‘but I will never marry you.
I made up my mind to that long ago.’
Everybody knows how, in the supremely solemn
moments of one’s life, one is apt to be assailed with
most incongruously ludicrous ideas. In spite of
my bitter mortification at her reply, an absurd
rhyme that I had heard somewhere, flashed into
my head:
Do not be like Nancy Baxter,
Who refused a man before he’d axed her.
I believe she saw the ghost of a smile that might
have hovered round my eyes when I begged to
know why she had made up her mind never to
marry me; and that made her savage.
‘Because you think I came here to be made
love to,’ she retorted, with all the concentrated
contempt that her sweet face and voice could hold.
‘You think Lizzie and I have been plotting to
catch you—you think we wanted to inveigle you
into marrying me! I know what you are going to
say’—as I rose and seized her hands, to stop her—‘but
it is not the truth. I heard you’—lifting her
angry eyes, now wet with unshed tears, to mine—‘I
heard you, with my own ears, tell Don to warn
Lizzie beforehand that you did not want to be
married.’
‘I know you did,’ I replied, tightening my
hold of her hands, while she made feeble efforts to
get away; ‘and I wish my tongue had been cut
out before I could have insulted you and her like
that. Forgive me, Rachel; I have been punished
enough.’
‘I cannot,’ she answered, still panting with
her excitement. ‘I should be ashamed of myself
if I could take a man who had even thought of me
like that.’
Two tears began to trickle from her eyes, and a
little hysterical catch in her breath betrayed to me
that her defiant courage was failing her. I would
not let her go. Love and shame and a resentful
disappointment made me a little savage too.
‘I never did think of you like that,’ I said
sternly; ‘and you know it. I must hold you till
I clear myself—I cannot bear it’——
A log tumbled in the grate, and Don woke up.
She caught away her hands and sped out of the
room; and I walked through a French window
into the cool summer night, too full of wrath and
love to speak to anybody.
This was how we stood when at last (on Saturday,
the 18th of December) the true Christmas
weather came, and we found ourselves in the hot
afternoon alone on the croquet-lawn—alone for the
first time since my stormy wooing was interrupted.
Don being still busy in the sheep-yards and shearing-shed,
I had been playing singly against
Lizzie and her; and now Lizzie had been called
away to the nursery to consult with a needlewoman
who was at work there. We were both
anxious (though for very different reasons) to
leave off playing when our chaperon had departed;
but it was not easy to do so in the middle of a
game, especially as she had instructed her partner
to play for both of them until she returned. So
we knocked the balls about for a few minutes in
embarrassed silence, and then had an altercation
as to which hoop Lizzie had been through; and
then we both got a little huffy, and played, first
with indifference, and then with a malicious
energy, which resulted at last in my sending her
partner’s ball into the thickest Portugal laurels in
the shrubbery.
‘Oh, I beg your pardon!’ I exclaimed with
compunction, as she solemnly marched off to look
for it. ‘Let me find it for you.’
‘Do not trouble yourself,’ she replied sharply;
and immediately dashed in between the laurel
and a very prickly rose-bush, whose long sprays
caught her muslin dress and tore it. I saw her
straw-hat amongst the big dark branches, and
her little hand searching under them for a
moment or two; then she started up suddenly
with a quick cry, and bounded into the path
again.
‘What is the matter? Have you hurt yourself,’
I asked anxiously.
Her hat fell to the ground, and she stood before
me with the blazing sun on her pretty head, and
a wide-eyed horror in her face. ‘Wait a minute
for me!’ she panted breathlessly; ‘I want you to
help me—I have been bitten.’ Before I could
collect my senses to understand what she meant,
she had sped like a flash of light into the house;
and dashing into the laurel bush, I saw what had
happened. A big black snake was gliding away
from the spot where she had been kneeling.
What was to be done? I stood still for a moment
paralysed; then I sent up a hurried prayer for
help, and simultaneously ‘cooeyed’ three or four
times with all the force of a powerful pair of
lungs, for Don at the wool-shed. Then I hurried
after her, and met her coming through the door
of my brother’s dressing-room with one of his
razors in her hand. Her face was white and set
as she seized my hand and hurried me into the
smoking-room, which was near us, and turned the
key in the lock. I knew what she wanted; and I
set my teeth in an agony that no words could
express, and which I can never think of now
without a shudder.
‘Look!’ she said piteously, with a little sob
in her throat; and I looked, and saw one of the
fingers of her left hand tied round tightly with a
piece of string below the first joint, and the end
of it already livid and swollen and shewing the
unmistakable punctures of the snake’s fangs. She
laid her other hand on my arm, and looked up at
me with a beseeching face that nearly unmanned
me.
‘Help me!’ she whispered eagerly; ‘now—now;
before the others come!’ And she held out the
razor, open and shining. ‘It is no use to suck it—it
only wastes time,’ as I seized her finger and
put it in my mouth. ‘Don’t, don’t! I want to
be on the safe side. I don’t want to die! O pray,
pray help me!’—now sobbing passionately—’or
else I must try to do it myself. I won’t cry out;
I won’t mind it. I will turn my head away.’
She laid her finger on the edge of the table, and I
took the razor from her, and with all the courage
I could muster, excised the wounded part. She
bore the cruel operation without a murmur.
An hour afterwards the commotion in the house
was over, but the shadow of death was on it.
Rachel was in her bed, white and faint and breathing
heavily, twitching with weak fingers at the
bedclothes, and staring with dull eyes into the
sad faces around her. I knelt in my room close
by with my head on my outspread arms, weeping
like a child as if my heart would break, and
listening to the creaking of the doctor’s boots and
the whisking of skirts and whispering of awed
voices on the other side of the thin wall. There
was nothing else that I was privileged to do, now
that I had done that dreadful thing which they
told me might be the saving of her precious life.
As the twilight fell, the voices in the sick-room
took a louder and more cheerful tone; and
presently one of them called softly: ‘Jerry, I want
you.’ Lizzie met me in the passage with a tremulous
tear-stained smiling face. ‘The doctor says
she will be all right now, and that she has to
thank you for it,’ she whispered. ‘Don’t stay
here any longer; go and have a cigar with Don.’
I seized her hand and kissed it, and looked at
her with my wet eyes full of foolish emotion, too
glad for speech; and the brightening intelligence
of her countenance was curious to note. ‘I thought
you didn’t care for each other,’ she said archly;
‘but,’ she added drily, ‘I suppose I was mistaken.’
‘Don’t suppose anything, Lizzie, there’s a good
girl. But let me know when I may see her,’ I
replied earnestly.
‘All right—I understand—I’ll let you know,’
she said, nodding her head vigorously with an air
of mystery and importance; and then I went,
not to have a cigar with Don, but to walk
about the dark garden alleys, alone with my
thoughts.
Our patient improved steadily all night, so
much so that the family assembled at breakfast as
usual. Then a great hunt was made for the snake
(at Lizzie’s instigation, on the children’s behalf),
which lasted a long while and was wholly unsuccessful.
Then church-time came, and the buggy
was ordered to take the servants and the little
girls to church; and the hot day wore on.
Towards evening, as I was loafing about the
garden, Lizzie came running across the croquet
lawn—where the balls and mallets were still lying
about as we had left them, though it was Sunday—and
told me that Rachel was up and dressed, and
that she chanced to be alone in the drawing-room.
I stole in to her in the twilight with my heart
beating fast; and for a few moments she did not
notice me. She was standing by the open piano,
small and white and weak, with a shawl wrapped
round her, gazing at the silent key-board, with
tears running down her face. No one could look
less like Delaroche’s Marie Antoinette than she
looked then.
I took three long steps and reached her side;
she gave a great start and turned round to meet me.
‘I shall not again be able to play to you for a long
while!’ she said, looking up at me for sympathy
in this new trouble with her soft wet eyes.
When she said that—instead of making me the
little speech I had expected, thanking me for
saving her life—I put out my arms. And though
we said no word, we forgave one another.
And how pleased Lizzie was when she saw the
last of the Lindsays transferred to my unworthy
self.