By Phyllis Bottome, Author of “The ImperfectGift,” “Crooked Answers,” “The Common Chord,” etc.
BOSTON AND NEW YORK: HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
THE RIVERSIDE PRESS, CAMBRIDGE
1914
Printed in Great Britain
DEDICATION
“To the Memory of the Siegfried Idyll”
PREFACE BY THE AUTHOR. — TABLE OF CONTENTS
The material for the French life in this book I
owe entirely to a friend, without whose knowledge
and assistance it would not have been written, but
whose name I am not at liberty to disclose.
The faults of the work are my own, but the
merit, if there is any merit, is his; if there is not,
the misfortune is his as well as the public’s, since
an abler hand should have made something of the
material he placed at my disposal.
The actual characters are not, as children say
of fairy tales, “true”; but many of them belong
to that system of parallel cases which runs side
by side with the truth.
“SO she’s sent for you too, has she?” said
the doctor. Of course he knew that Miss
Prenderghast must have sent for Monsieur le Curé
as she had sent for the doctor himself, for neither
of them would have gone to the Castle uninvited.
They would have cheerfully borne with many things
for the sake of Jean D’Ucelles, but they would not
have gone uninvited to see his aunt, especially
not for déjeuner.
The Curé hesitated; if he could have made a
mystery out of his invitation he would have done
so; he loved mysteries quite as much as the doctor
loved probing them, but he was not quite such an
adept at inventing them—he preferred those which
had been already invented for him.
“She intimated that she desired to see me,”
he cautiously replied. “I could have refused,
but she is, as we all know, alas! a Protestant,
and as such her soul is in hourly peril. I said to
myself: ‘Perhaps this is an awakening to the
truth.’ It’s true I should have preferred to go up
to the Castle after déjeuner. It is a strange thing—I
have often remarked it—that Protestants
enjoy neither the fruits of the spirit nor the fruits
of the earth. It was not so always at the Château.
I can remember well enough in the late Baron’s
time what a table she kept—the poor young
English wife—even in his absence. She was not
born a Catholic, it is true; but she became one.
She spared no expense, and she had a great respect
for the clergy. She was always telling me to take
care of myself. She had a cook trained in Paris.”
“Perhaps she was able to train her cook,” said
the doctor. “The more pity she couldn’t train her
husband—the poor Baron, he was always a wild
one. I had hoped the marriage would steady him,
but it never did! How well I remember his saying
to me: ‘You believe in nature, then, Monsieur;
so do I. She has made the plants to keep still,
but men she has made to move about—do not
trouble yourself, then, that I fulfil my destiny!’
He was going to Paris, of course; he always was.
I remember it was before Monsieur Jean’s birth.
I had ventured to implore him to remain. I knew
it was a liberty, but what would you? The
Baronne was in a very delicate condition. I feared
that she had anxieties, there was much talk about
the Baron’s long absences—always without her,
you understand, but not always, I fear, without
others—and I had much sympathy with the poor
lady, alone, and in a strange land. She was very
young, too, and neurotic; she wanted to die.” The
doctor blew his nose.
“That was a sin,” said the Curé severely. “I
can hardly believe that of Madame; she never
mentioned the fact to me. I think you must be
exaggerating.”
“Bah!” snapped Dr. Bonnet. “I am not a
priest. I have some experience of women; she
was in love with her husband. English women are
droll; it is a great mistake, I find, this love of the
husband—it leads nowhere. However, it is not
so easy to die when one is twenty-five and has a
man of science against one, and then when
Monsieur Jean was born it was all another story!
The Baron sent a telegram in the best of taste,
and came down later with the Comte and Comtesse
D’Ucelles to the christening.”
The Curé nodded.
“It was a magnificent christening,” he said.
“I myself officiated. There was talk of the Bishop
of the Diocese, but Madame was firm; she said I
should be the one to make her son a Christian, as
I had made his mother Catholic. Yes, yes, doubtless
she is with the Blessed Saints—the little English
lady—and I hope the Baron too, though of that
we cannot be quite so sure.”
Monsieur le Curé made the sign of the cross and
looked very grave. There was every reason why
he should, for the Baron D’Ucelles had shot himself
through the head five years ago—two years
after his wife’s death. It was natural that he
should regret her. She had spent six months in
giving him what he wanted, and thirteen years
in not giving him what he didn’t want. She would
have made an ideal wife for any man. Still it was
not altogether on her account that he had followed
her to the grave. The late Baron had been a
little extravagant both with his money and with
his life, and when he had at length discovered that
he would shortly become a helpless paralytic on a
very small income, he had decided to take the
only means left him to avoid these issues. He
had left behind him only Ucelles itself and two
small farms, which was all that could be saved for
his son out of his once handsome inheritance.
His family said that this was what came of having
married an English woman without a dot.
“There is one thing,” said the Curé, after a
pause, “that I have never quite understood, and
this is why Monsieur Jean should have been brought
up by this English relation?”
The doctor shrugged his shoulders.
“I too have wondered,” he said. “But what
will you? The Comte, his guardian, married a rich
wife of the bourgeoisie, and they have a large
house in Paris and a big income; they have no
children of their own. What more likely, it would
seem, than that they should adopt Monsieur Jean?
In this world, so I take it, what is likely does not
happen. Instead, one fine day this English aunt
arrives, who knows nothing of our tongue or of our
ways, and nothing—it would seem—of children,
it is to her, then, that they entrust our little Baron.
For myself, I am a philosopher, I have no theories—all
I believe is that in the long run nature has
her way, and her way is, perhaps, the best; at any
rate it is the only one I know.”
“I have always endeavoured to guard him
against her errors,” said the Curé; and indeed
he had done his best. He had baptized Jean, he
had taught him his catechism, and prepared him
for confirmation and for his first communion;
he had also taught him a little Latin, a great deal
of theology, and what he thought was literature.
He really believed that Jean thought so too, but
then he had watched Jean so carefully and incessantly
for twenty years that he knew nothing about
him at all. The doctor, who had not seen nearly
so much of Jean, understood him a great deal better.
He had kept a fresher eye for change.
Both men were silent after this. Little St.
Jouin lay in the broiling sun behind them, a small,
huddled town in the ancient stubble-fields of the
plain. The broad white road, through which life
flashed by in swift, infrequent modern traffic, divided
it from a fashionable watering-place on the one
side and from a commercial seaport on the other.
But nobody ever stopped at St. Jouin, there was
no reason why they should; it had nothing rare
enough about it to ensure its ruin and there was
no one to realize that in being so near modernity
it had altogether escaped it. Certainly the two
figures that plodded along the broad white road
had no such fancies; they had no fancies at all.
They had lived in St. Jouin nearly all their lives.
Monsieur le Curé in particular, with his high, narrow
head and irritable, unseeing eyes (the kind of eyes
that are always glancing about, driven by a
suspicion that there is something wrong to be observed,
and overlooking everything else), was not
likely to approve of fancies. Why should he?
his religion was sufficient for him. He was the
most important person in St. Jouin; there was no
unbelief there (in spite of the newspapers) and very
little faith. Everybody went to church, so that
their lives were always under the Curé’s eyes;
only their souls escaped him.
The doctor had his ideas, of course, but he was
terribly scientific; he had spent a year in Paris
thirty years ago, and he took in a Radical
newspaper. He thought he was a red-hot
Socialist and a cynic, but he was really a very
kind-hearted man and treated all his poorest
patients free of charge, only he was a little impatient
about what he did not understand. He
was quite sure that what did not appeal to him
personally was either old-fashioned or new-fangled,
and when he talked about progress, he meant his
own ideas.
The great bell at the Château rang out the hour of
noon; it seemed to shake the hot air round them
and to keep the silence listening to its deep reverberations.
The Curé stopped, crossed himself, and
repeated his Ave with bowed head. The doctor,
who was a stout man, was glad of the pause, but
lest his friend should suppose that he was putting
it to a religious purpose, he whistled—at least he
tried to; but he was too much out of breath to
make a success of it.
Through the opening in the trees beyond them
Ucelles itself appeared. It was a long, low house,
with a steep, grey roof, in which tiny round windows
were thickly set. At a distance it still looked,
what it had once been, the chief mansion in the
district—the Château of Ucelles. The garden had
been allowed to run to seed, but the long avenue
of limes approaching the house made stout sentinels
for its dignity.
In a small wood of fir and plane trees, close to
the house, stood the family chapel; the sun shone
through the leaves above it, and the priest and the
doctor caught a glimpse through the open grille of
a tiny altar covered with fresh flowers. In front
of the house stretched an uncultivated meadow,
but in the centre a square was trimmed with neat
little box hedges, and in the middle of the square
was a small pond covered deep with water-lilies.
Around it late roses and early chrysanthemums
mingled their blooms together.
“He has always kept his mother’s garden gay,”
said the Curé approvingly; “and the flowers in
the chapel there are fresh. I prefer myself the
artificial ones, but we must be indulgent to youth;
the Church has always recognized that.”
The doctor frowned. The Curé had never revealed
to him what his ambition for Jean was, but
the doctor had long ago guessed it. You cannot
know a man for thirty years and be entirely ignorant
of his favourite idea, especially when he has not
got more than one. The Curé wished Jean to
become a priest, and the doctor hated the idea with
all his heart. He was a Socialist, you must remember,
a Radical and a cynic, so of course he wanted
Jean to become a grand seigneur—a man of the
world, and at the same time noted for his domestic
happiness, with a large family of sons.
As for Jean himself, he wanted to become a
musician, but nobody minded very much what
Jean wanted.
“It has occurred to me,” said the Curé, after he
had finished saying his Ave, “that we have been sent
for—of course, you must understand that I have
no authority for my idea; I am merely expressing
what has passed through my mind—that we may
be asked to consult with Mademoiselle Prenderghast
on the subject of Monsieur Jean’s future.” The
Curé coughed.
“There’s his uncle,” growled the doctor. “He
ought to settle the question.”
“I think the boy’s taste should be considered,”
suggested the Curé. He thought that he had formed
Jean’s taste, and that he might safely leave it to
settle matters his way.
“I wish he could have done his military service,”
said the doctor. “If I had been the fool at the
Maire de Valbranche I would have passed him;
he is delicate, but it’s only raw, untrained nerves and
morbid religious fancies. The old adhesion in the
left lung they thought themselves so clever in
spotting, why, it’s nothing—nothing at all, I tell
you; just the result of that English spinster’s notion
of how to treat a delicate child with measles. But
there! modern science only goes by what’s at the
end of a stethoscope, or a microscope, or a misanthrope,”
said the doctor. He was not quite sure
what a misanthrope was; however, it sounded all
right, and, after all, the Curé wouldn’t know any
better. “It doesn’t allow for life forces.”
“I have often told you that,” said the Curé
complacently; “only I expressed it better. Science
has tried to lead faith when she should have
knelt before her.”
“Rubbish!” said the doctor.
By this time they had reached the house. Ucelles
did not look quite so grand on a near approach.
The long French windows opening on the terrasse
had a cold and vacant air, most of the
house was closed, so that it appeared half blind
and wholly dumb; it needed all the sunshine of
summer to help the observer to bear the freezing
sense of departed life. When the doctor rang the
bell it echoed hauntingly through the empty corridors,
and it was a long while before Miss Prenderghast’s
reliable English maid answered it. She
did at last, and received the men’s greetings with
all the sourness of an exiled mind. If Miss Prenderghast
was not at home in France, Elizabeth was
still less likely to be so. Miss Prenderghast regarded
it with suspicion, but Elizabeth with open-eyed
hostility. Everything was different from what
Elizabeth had been accustomed to, and Elizabeth
knew that everything which was different was wrong.
But all human consistency breaks down somewhere;
Elizabeth’s broke down over Jean. When she
first saw him he was a little French boy, very French
indeed, and a Catholic; and he was not the less
French now nor less Catholic at twenty; but
Elizabeth was human and she loved him. That
was why she stayed in a heathen country.
“If you will please to come this way, sir,” she
said, addressing the doctor—she pretended not to
see the Curé, she was Protestant to the core; then
she led them along the polished parquet corridor,
till at last they reached the smallest of a suite of
reception-rooms. It was full of sunshine and
golden dust that glistened in the sunbeams between
the ceiling and the floor, but there was very little
else in the room except Miss Prenderghast; she
was knitting.
“You can serve lunch, Elizabeth,” she said,
before she greeted her visitors.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Elizabeth, but she did
not intend to serve lunch until Jean came; her
idea of veracity was as strictly relative as if she
had been a Jesuit.
Miss Prenderghast’s dress was very high about
the neck and rather short about the ankles. Her
nose was her most prominent feature, and she
looked as if she felt cold but would have thought
it extremely foolish to take any precautions against
it.
It is easy to distinguish in the faces of the
middle-aged those from whom life has receded
from those, in whose existence, it has never played
a formidable part. It was to this latter category
that Miss Prenderghast belonged. From her
earliest years she had been taught to repress all
her emotions, and she had repressed them so
thoroughly that at times it seemed even to herself
as if she no longer had any to suppress. She had
put her heart into her sense of duty, a performance
which had resulted in developing her conscience
at the expense of all her natural instincts. Nobody
likes having to deal with a robust conscience and
anæmic emotions, the Latin races least of all.
The two men, who bowed low, and obediently took
the two small cane chairs provided for them, never
considered Miss Prenderghast in the light of a
human being. She appeared to them as a natural
phenomenon of a disagreeable nature, such as a
land-slide or a series of bad harvests.
“English ladies can have no temptations,”
thought the Curé. “That is why they are
Protestants.”
“We shall have trouble with Jean sooner or
later,” the doctor said to himself; “he has his
father’s blood in him, and he has been brought
up by a stone.”
“It was very kind of you both to come,” said Miss
Prenderghast coldly; “you must have found the
walk from St. Jouin long and dusty.”
“On the contrary,” said the doctor politely,
“where the destination is agreeable the path is
scattered with flowers.”
“The wild flowers in this part of the country
are remarkably scarce,” observed Miss Prenderghast.
“I have often regretted it.”
A silence followed. The Curé drew out his handkerchief
and spilt some snuff on the floor. The
doctor sneezed and Miss Prenderghast frowned.
She disliked French habits.
“I have received a letter from the Comte
D’Ucelles,” she observed finally; “he is, as you
may remember, Jean’s nearest relation upon the
French side—in fact, his only near French relation.”
“Parfaitement,” replied the doctor, “he is a
gallant man and has had a certain success in Paris.
There is a remarkable resemblance between him
and the late Baron.”
“Ah!” said Miss Prenderghast thoughtfully,
“I trust it is only superficial. Still it cannot be
helped; he is Jean’s uncle, and he has at last chosen
to intimate some interest in the boy’s future.”
“Very natural, very natural indeed,” exclaimed
the Curé. “Nothing could be more convenable,
madame, the true spirit of a good Catholic and
of an uncle!”
“It may be as you say,” replied Miss Prenderghast,
with knitted brows. “In any case, he has
waited long enough before showing either of them.
However, it is not easy for me to make up my
mind what it is best to do.”
“And Jean, what is his opinion?” asked the
doctor.
“I have not consulted him upon the question,”
said Miss Prenderghast. “It is possible I should
have done so, in which case I should hardly
have troubled you for your advice; but yesterday
a very, very painful incident occurred, which
has greatly shaken my intention.”
Both the doctor and the priest started; they did
not look at each other, though they were thinking
the same thought.
“He has fallen from grace,” the priest said to
himself.
“He has become a man,” thought the doctor.
“He has written an opera,” said Miss Prenderghast
impressively. Neither of the men could
help looking a little disappointed.
“You may well be surprised,” said Miss Prenderghast
with satisfaction. “I was myself perfectly
unprepared for this blow. I knew he was
musical and that—as I thought most unnecessarily,
Monsieur le Curé—you had encouraged it by
allowing him to play the organ in your church.”
The Curé collapsed, the doctor looked radiant.
“And you, doctor,” said Miss Prenderghast, “have
not improved matters by insisting upon him
attending the meetings of a disreputable orchestral
society! This is the result.”
“Well, well,” said the doctor bravely, “his
mother was a neurotic!”
“There are certain professions,” said the Curé
mildly, “in which a knowledge of music is not
altogether a misfortune. I have myself studied
harmony for a fortnight during my training at
the Seminary. I have never regretted it.”
“No, but your congregation has,” snapped the
doctor.
“What do you suggest?” asked Miss Prenderghast.
The doctor looked at the Curé. He really had
no idea in his head at all, but the Curé looked so
full of his own importance and so determined
on making Jean a priest that the doctor found
himself saying:
“Paris!” He only meant it as a joke.
“Paris?” said Miss Prenderghast thoughtfully.
“Paris!” echoed the Curé in horror.
“Paris?” said a clear boy’s voice just behind
them.
It was Jean himself, fresh from a morning in
the woods, with a retriever puppy gamboling
at his heels. It was youth, and hope, and ardour,
and all incredible, dauntless things! It was the
spirit of growing life and spring, and it was followed
by Elizabeth, who promptly announced déjeuner,
half an hour after the usual time.
“We will finish this discussion later on,” said
Miss Prenderghast.
Jean greeted his two old friends cordially.
“But what is all this about Paris, Aunt Anne?”
he asked, smiling a little as he held back the
portière for her to pass out. “Have you and
Monsieur le Curé and the doctor just discovered
it?”
“You should not come into rooms suddenly,”
said Miss Prenderghast coldly. “Then you would
not overhear parts of other people’s conversations
which were not meant for your ears.”
Jean frowned and apologized. Miss Prenderghast
resented the frown, and ignored the apology.
It is so seldom that the very observant observe
the right things. It was a dull lunch party; the
doctor was a little frightened at Miss Prenderghast’s
reception of his suggestion; the Curé
was thinking how bad the lunch was, and how
he could influence Jean to accept his point of
view. Miss Prenderghast was greatly annoyed
with Elizabeth. And to Jean the word “Paris”
was like a lighted torch to a bundle of dry hay.
Suddenly all his ideas had taken fire—but like all
the fires of youth it burned silently, and none of
his elders had the least idea that they were attending
at a conflagration.
CHAPTER II
AFTER lunch Jean went to Elizabeth. She was
washing up the dishes, or she preferred to let
Jean think she was; as a matter of fact, she had
been having what is known in servants’ quarters as
a “snack,” but like all healthy, properly brought up
English servants, she liked her employers to
fancy that she lived upon air alone. Jean sat on
the kitchen table and swung his legs to and fro in
a confidential manner. He had an implicit
masculine confidence in Elizabeth’s sympathy—Elizabeth
was perhaps only a sour old maid, but
she would know that he was there to have his
grievance produced, and she would in time produce
it for him. So he took a cigarette and waited.
“Oh, Master Jean, if Miss Anne should see you
now!” said the scandalized Elizabeth. Jean was
forbidden to smoke, but he knew Elizabeth admired
it. His melancholy deep brown eyes had a sudden
charming twinkle in them; he had a curious face,
irregular as to its features, but very much alive;
it reminded the observer of a young wild thing
in the woods absorbed in the deep business of life.
“Though you do look nearly a man now,” went
on Elizabeth, “and are grown so lately, Master
Jean, and if I may say so, a thought more English
about the shoulders.”
“I am a man,” said Jean. “I’m twenty,
Elizabeth, and they’ve turned me out of their
consultation as if I were a schoolboy, and I’m
positive it’s about me.”
“There, there, Master Jean!” said Elizabeth
soothingly. “You know you can get it all out of
the doctor afterwards; ’e’s as easy to get into as a
tin of apricots—’im and ’is professional secrets!”
Elizabeth snorted.
“I don’t like getting things out of people when
they’re the things they ought to tell me any way,”
said Jean. “When I went in this morning,
Elizabeth, they were all saying ‘Paris’ as if they’d
heard of it for the first time.”
Elizabeth looked at him thoughtfully.
“There was a letter from there this very morning,”
she said, “with a seal on the back; perhaps
it’s a fortune, Master Jean, come from your rich
uncle in Paris.”
“More likely a misfortune, I’m afraid,” said Jean
gloomily. “Well, Elizabeth, I think I’m going off
to the woods again. Put something cold out for
me to-night; I shan’t be back till late.”
Elizabeth looked anxious, but she knew better
than to expostulate with her idol. She was allowed
to worship only on the distinct understanding that
she never interfered. A worshipper that tries to
manage his god is confusing the situation. From
his tenth birthday on, Jean had ruled Elizabeth
with a rod of iron. It was a small kingdom, perhaps,
for the little lonely boy, it only contained his dog
and Elizabeth, but he ruled it well, and there had
never been a hint of rebellion. Elizabeth knew that
Miss Prenderghast had noticed these increasing
despotic absences of Jean’s. He went away almost
daily now for hours at a time, and gave no account
whatever of his proceedings. Miss Prenderghast
shook her head over them; she had a shocked
suspicion, not unlike the priest and the doctor, that
he might be meeting some woman; but she would
have been even more shocked if she had known he
was meeting his own soul. A woman would not
have prevented Jean from becoming a bank clerk,
but no one knows what a man’s soul may prevent
him from becoming. It has led him before now to
become an artist, and it has even taught him (and
this is the hardest thing perhaps for thoroughly good,
religious people to understand) to develop into
a saint.
But Jean wasn’t going to become a saint, he was
only born a musician, and he had inherited on both
sides of his nature a certain recklessness, only thinly
covered by a reticence which was not natural to
him, the inevitable result of a sensitive nature that
has not found in its early years any direct response.
His mother had had a romantic zest for all the
adventures of the spirit, even her broken heart had
not checked her dauntless craving for the impossible;
she had ceased to look for it in her
husband, but she had never found that the world
was small. The Baron on his side had a lucid,
unwavering instinct for pleasure, it was his intention
to make everything serve his senses. This instinct
had descended upon Jean in the shape of a fierce
desire, of which he was hardly conscious, to tear
something living and responsive from the grip of
his future. As he strode off once more upon his
innocent adventures his mind was fiercely and
ardently awake and busy. “What had he done
with his life?” he asked himself, in frenzied self-reproach.
Here he was at twenty—no older, no
more experienced, no more active than many a
boy of fourteen. He did not take his attempted
opera nearly as seriously as Miss Prenderghast had
taken it; he was possessed by melody, he always
had been; ever since he could remember he seemed
to have been listening to a tune, but he hardly
knew that he was peculiar in this, and he knew
enough of the music to which great musicians had
listened not to think too much of his own ambitious
flutterings. “I have done nothing,” he said to
himself bitterly. “I am nothing—I have no
powers!” And he flung himself face downwards
on the dry, dead leaves of the late summer in the
terrible abandonment of youth. To have never
left Ucelles in his life, to have been brought up a
good Catholic, to have no friends but a sour-faced
English cook and a few inarticulate peasants (it is
sad to say that Jean forgot the Curé and the doctor),
wasn’t that a certain proof of his failure in life?
He thought of Maurice Golaud, that magnificent
young man he had met at the Choral Society.
Maurice had all the world before him—money, a
family of admiring sisters, and that unacquirable
self-confidence which the artist, except in rare
moments of creation, never knows! Jean had tried
to play to Maurice once, but he had broken down in
the middle; it was the only thing he could do—play—and
it had come over him suddenly that Maurice
did not think much of playing. He thought a
great deal more of how to curl your moustache
and look at a woman, and for the moment Jean
was not sure that Maurice was not right.
Jean buried his face in the long dried grass, and
drank in the haunting, fresh scent of the dead
leaves; the air was full of a faint, warm haze that
crept across the distant fields and hung above the
trees. The leaves that were still upon them were
very dry with the heat and rattled a little as the
soft breeze shook them together. The birds spoke
in sharp, disconnected twitters; all the sounds and
all the life of the earth seemed interrupted now,
and yet urgent. The swallows flung themselves in
long, unsettled curves about the sky; everything
was changing, moving, departing. Jean alone must
stay here always to the bitter sound of his own
wasted life! He watched himself grow tamely,
narrowly old, through the coming years; there would
be nothing in him to challenge life. Maurice and
his fellow-officers and their fun would go out once
more into the merry world, Jean would remain.
In time he would cease attending the Lycée, he would
come home and farm Ucelles. In the evenings he
would play a little if he was not too tired, but
never his own music any more! Why should he
shame the divine flickering gift within him, which
he could never develop, nor yet throw away? He
wanted to be a musician—he wanted only that—and
he buried his face in the friendly dry leaves
that scratched his cheeks, and wept.
“I shall never be able to do anything,” sobbed
Jean. “I shall never be able to go anywhere, and
I shall never meet anyone to love.”
Miss Prenderghast waited half an hour for dinner.
It was an unfortunate half hour; in it all the sacrifices
she had made for Jean increased with the
inroad he was making upon punctuality.
For the last ten years Miss Prenderghast had been
practising the stoic virtues, and though these are
probably the hardest of all the virtues to practise,
they rarely, if ever, make the possessor lovable.
In this one half hour Miss Prenderghast saw their
worthlessness, but she could not admit that she
was to blame; surely the guardians of youth only
owed to their special charges the one great duty
of correction, to be met by youth in its turn with
implicit obedience? And Miss Prenderghast knew
that she had corrected Jean and that he had
usually obeyed her. Between them these two
admirable virtues had destroyed any human relationship.
“He is lacking in consideration,” said
Miss Prenderghast to herself, and she wiped her
glasses. She had given Jean a gold watch for his
birthday present, and he had not kissed her. She
had told him at the time that she hoped it would
make him more punctual.
Elizabeth brought in the soup at nine.
“Master Jean is very late,” said Miss Prenderghast;
“put something cold on the sideboard,
Elizabeth, and go to bed. I will sit up for him.”
There was such a tone of finality in Miss Prenderghast’s
voice that Elizabeth almost obeyed her.
She put some soup on the kitchen fire and began to
do her hair in curl-papers on the stairs.
Jean came in a few minutes afterwards. He
apologized perfunctorily for the lateness of the hour,
and his aunt remarked that careless people always
gave trouble. Jean accepted the thrust in silence;
he did not think it fair to receive an apology with
further correction; it had the result also of drying
up any possible springs of remorse.
“He is becoming hardened,” thought his aunt
miserably; then she advised him not to take
butter with meat; she said it was an extravagant
habit and un-English. Jean took more butter.
Miss Prenderghast sighed and shook her head.
“Well, Jean,” she said at last, “I daresay you
wonder why I have been sitting up here for you,
just as I have been wondering what has made you
so late. Have you no explanation you can offer
me?”
“No, ma Tante,” said Jean, without lifting his
eyes from his plate. He looked very guilty.
“I would have forgiven him anything if he were
not so secretive,” thought his aunt; aloud she
said, “I am afraid you have been idling—or worse!
You are twenty, old enough to be doing some
good in the world if you have any capacity for it.
The time has come for something to be decided
about your future.”
Miss Prenderghast was only expressing in her
own familiar way the very thoughts that had kept
Jean lingering in the field, but it is extraordinary
how very different our own thoughts about ourselves
can sound from the lips of our nearest relatives!
Jean had not felt in the least hostile to himself
as he lay in the long grass, speculating as to his
lack of the talents necessary for life, but he felt
very hostile to Miss Prenderghast now; he kicked
the table leg.
“I daresay you hardly remember your Uncle
Romain,” she went on, with a grieved glance at
the furniture; “you are hardly likely to, as
hitherto his only interest in you has been displayed
by his remarkable confidence in my powers of
bringing you up. However, it appears he has
suddenly remembered that he is your natural
guardian, and has written to suggest a profession
for you.”
“I remember my Uncle Romain extremely well,”
said Jean with more haste than accuracy, “and I
am grateful to him for his interest. What profession
does he suggest?”
“The Banque de Paris et des Pays-Bas,” said
Miss Prenderghast. “You are to receive no salary
for the first six months, and your uncle does not
apparently intend to offer you his hospitality.
I cannot congratulate you upon the generosity
of your French relatives.”
Jean said nothing, he looked more than ever
like a trapped wild thing in the flickering candlelight.
His brown eyes shone with a fierce glint
peculiar to them in moments of excitement, his
thin, long brown hands moved with nervous gestures,
and his nostrils quivered and dilated like those
of an excited horse. It seemed a good moment
to his aunt to make an appeal to his feelings.
“My dear boy,” she said, “if you go to Paris,
as I fear you must, I foresee great temptations
for you. I have done all I could to bring you up
a decent, respectable member of society, and to
bring out in you the strain of your English blood;
but several things have been against me, your
Roman Catholic religion and your naturally difficult
temper. I have never quite felt as if you understood
me, but that doesn’t matter now. Try to be
honourable, straightforward and economical, and
whatever you do, don’t be like your father—I don’t
like to mention such horrors, but there it is; you
have that to fight against as well as the temptations
natural to any young man—the poor man came,
as we know, to a shocking end.”
Jean flung back his chair and sprang to his
feet. He spoke in a tone Miss Prenderghast had
never heard him use before, and he lapsed into
quick, explosive French, which she always found it
difficult to follow.
“Do not dare to say these things to me, Madame,”
he said hoarsely. “Respect my father’s memory,
if you respect nothing else that is mine. He had
courage, he was a gallant man, he never did a
dishonourable thing in his life—he died sadly!”
“He died by his own hand,” interrupted Miss
Prenderghast dryly, “after he had lived what,
in my religion, would very rightly be termed a
life of sin.”
“Mon Dieu! you shall not say these things to
me,” cried Jean, and suddenly he caught up the
plate nearest him, and with the quick gesture of
an angry child, flung it through the nearest window-pane.
It crashed through the glass of the long
French window, out on to the terrace beyond.
The boy trembled all over with excitement and
fury. Miss Prenderghast regarded him with
scandalized contempt. He had really startled
her, but even in her astonishment she was scornful.
Shame overwhelmed him; he rushed past her out
into the long corridor, and tore upstairs to his
room.
Elizabeth heard him; she ran out of her room
to intercept him in a sulphur-coloured dressing-gown,
her gray hair hanging about her head in
rigid wisps.
“Ah, Master Jean! Master Jean! Whatever
in the world ’ave you been and done?” she moaned
in terror.
“Let me go! Let me go, Elizabeth! or I
shall go mad,” gasped the boy.
“There, there! don’t you take on so, Master
Jean,” said Elizabeth softly, but she let him go—she
knew that there is one thing a man prefers
even to a woman’s sympathy, and that is his own
freedom.
Jean reached his room and flung himself headlong
on his bed, shaking with sobs. “Why should he
feel so—why should he always feel so much too
much?” he asked himself. “He had acted like
a bad child, like a mere boy; his aunt despised
him. Who was he to go out and face the world,
to see Paris—a man who could not keep his temper
with his aunt?” Even lying there alone in the
dark he felt the hot waves of colour rushing over
him afresh. He had been rude to her, and she
was a woman, and she had done so much for him!
How he hated her having done so much for him—why
couldn’t she have left him alone?
He raised his eyes to where he knew his mother’s
crucifix was hung, but his Aunt Anne had said such
things about his father—his poor father whose
beautiful, unharassed eyes Jean so well remembered;
and Jean had adored the father, who came so seldom
but so grandly to Ucelles. His mother had been
his life’s companion, but his father had been his
dream—at the thought of the words his Aunt Anne
had used about the late Baron the tears dried on
his cheeks.
“No, I won’t apologize to her. I won’t,” said
Jean, looking in the direction of the crucifix. Then
he went on his knees and took out his rosary and
prayed afresh all those special prayers the Curé
had taught him to pray for his father’s wandering
soul.
He felt vaguely comforted when he lay down
again. His window was wide open and his room
was full of the autumn evening. The night was
very still; high above the avenue of whispering
limes the waning moon slid idly through the sky.
She was warped and twisted and out of shape,
and silvery pale—she stood to Jean as a symbol
of all perverted, tortured lives, his father’s, and
his own too, perhaps; who knew what would
happen to him in Paris? Not what his Aunt
Anne thought, nothing ever happened quite as
she thought, because life always leans a little to
the side of the ideal, even in its ugliest moments;
but strange things other than Jean could yet
imagine? He prayed again that he might not
disgrace his name and his blood.
Even his Aunt Anne had good blood, he remembered;
she had never stirred when he had looked
his savage rage at her and flung the plate through
the window. No! he could not apologize to her,
but he would pray too for his Aunt Anne. He
was not quite sure what form his prayer should
take—the Curé had told him always to pray that
Miss Prenderghast might become a Catholic;
but Jean had never felt that this was quite fair,
for he knew how very little his Aunt Anne herself
wanted it; at present, too, he particularly wished
to be fair. So he decided at last to pray to St.
Joseph, who was well known to be particularly
benevolent, to grant his Aunt Anne any good thing
that she might want. “And if she doesn’t want
any good thing,” he argued to himself, “it really
isn’t my fault!”
He would have been very much surprised, and
even a little touched, if he had known that his
aunt was at that very moment praying for him.
“I do not think I have been very wise,” Miss
Prenderghast prayed, “but I cannot approve of
his French relations, and I knew it was my duty
to warn him against his father’s awful example.
If I have done aught amiss—and I do not think
the boy’s temper entirely his own fault (the Prenderghasts,
too, always as a family had hasty
tempers)—forgive me—lay his temper to my
charge, and protect him, if it is possible, from
Paris!”
As for Elizabeth, she prayed that Jean might
enjoy himself. (In spite of her appearance, there
was something rather Greek about Elizabeth.)
CHAPTER III
THE doctor gave Jean a thermometer as a
parting present, and the Curé brought him
a little medal of St. Francis; he gave it to Jean
after mass on his last morning.
“Always wear this, my son,” he said, “it has
been blessed by the Bishop. I tried to get a
eucalyptus rosary which had received the Holy
Father’s own touch, but it had been sent by mistake
to Adélaide la Court, who is just going into service.
It was necessary for her to be safeguarded in every
way. I think, however, you will find this medal
very efficacious. Do not forget your prayers, go
to Mass regularly, and never miss a fast. You
will find Paris very different in some ways from
St. Jouin, at least I have always gathered so; but
the Church is the same, nothing ever changes that.
Keep your vocation.”
Jean nodded—he was not quite sure what his vocation
was, but he foresaw no difficulty in keeping it.
Miss Prenderghast had been lying awake half
the night, thinking how she should say good-bye
to Jean. She said it very badly; he was all she
had in the world, and she had never really had
him. Jean made her a polite little speech in which
he thanked her for all she had done for him, and
Miss Prenderghast said, “Nonsense, somebody
had to do it!” and “For goodness sake, boy, don’t
gush; it’s not English.”
Jean hesitated for a moment, bowed, kissed her
hand and left her. Then he ran into the kitchen
and threw his arms around Elizabeth.
“For shame, Master Jean,” cried Elizabeth,
with gratified horror. “You a great big man,
how could you go for to do such a thing?”
“Oh, Elizabeth,” said Jean, and he was laughing
and almost crying at the same time, “a man
must kiss somebody, you know. You’ve been very
good to me, Elizabeth!”
“There! there! Master Jean,” said Elizabeth,
who was wholly crying. “You’ll take care of yourself,
my lamb, now, won’t you? And don’t pay no
attention to what nobody says to you in that there
wicked Paris full of hussies and what not? You
go your own way, Master Jean dear, and if you’re
ever in want of anything you’ll write and tell me,
won’t you? I know what young men and short
commons is, and I’ve saved my wages for many
a year a-purpose!”
“Oh, Elizabeth!” said Jean at last, “but you
know a man can’t take money from a woman!”
“Can’t ’e though, my dear?” said Elizabeth
grimly. “Then all I can say is ’e can take many
other things which are a sight worse for ’im—for
’im and for ’er too, for the matter of that! Don’t
you go muddlin’ yer ’ead with them notions, and
oh! for ’eaven’s sake, Master Jean, don’t sit in
yer wet feet or go short of your food!”
Elizabeth hadn’t any parting present to give
Jean—but when he went out of the kitchen, he
ran by a back way across the fields, because he did
not want anyone just then to see his face, and
Elizabeth sat at the kitchen table with her head
on her arms, and refused to answer the bell to clear
away the breakfast. She was the only person in
St. Jouin who realized that Jean would never come
back again—someone like him would return, no
doubt, with his eyes and his voice, but the Jean
D’Ucelles who ran across the wet, wind-blown
fields that autumn morning would be a different
person altogether.
On the railway station Jean found several of his
class-mates from the Lycée, and among them
Maurice Golaud, the young officer who was quartered
at St. Jouin.
“Ah, you lucky beggar!” he cried. “Just to
think that in seven hours’ time you will be in the
heart of the universe, while I am wasting away in
this old, aimless penitentiary of a spot. You don’t
know what’s before you, my boy! The cafés, the
good little drinks, the fine little dinners, the dear
little women! I am sick for the sound of the
streets and the lights down the Champs-Elysées in
the evening! What a world, and what a place
this country, where you go about knee-deep in mud
to each other’s funerals, with only the cows to look
at! But you’ll be strange at first, mon cher!
Look here, I know what I’ll do,” and he took out
a card with an address on it and pushed it into
Jean’s hand. “Go and call there,” he said, as the
train started. “If I can’t run up and put you
through your paces, you’ll see someone there who’s
worth seeing; at least she is usually considered
to be so!” Maurice gave a significant twist to
his moustache as he spoke. He was really more
proud of the lady who lived at the address than
of that extremely handsome feature, in fact he
considered them both his features, and he thought
he was very generous to let Jean have the unexampled
opportunity of observing them. As for
Jean, he put the address carefully in his pocket;
it seemed to him that after all he should not be
so very friendless in Paris.
The train took its short, uneven way through the
flat lands of France.
Poplars and a pale sky, with peasants working in
the fields, stretched through an eternity of daylight.
Here and there towers of grey stone and groups
of tall, narrow houses broke through the long
monotony of the fields, and Jean’s heart beat faster
with the hope that this time it was really Paris.
The rain came on again, and the short day was
closing before Jean realized that the sudden stream
of grey houses was after all not going to break again
into empty fields, but was Paris herself, the great
insignificant fringe of the world’s enigma, the city
where there is most pleasure and least happiness—the
cleverest thought and the vainest action—where
more ideas are born and more perish in their
tarnished bloom than any other place on earth.
None of these things did Jean dream of, as out of
the grey evening the lights of Paris broke, wave
after wave of them, through the curtain of rain,
like handfuls of splendid jewels prodigally flung
into colourless mud. And with the lights came the
sound—the sound of Paris, which is so different
from the soft, dull roar of London or the sharp,
hysterical scream of New York, the sound that is
pitilessly light and infinitely gay—the voice of
Paris, which is like the laughter of a heartless
woman mocking at a life she has wrecked. And
when Jean heard it he drew his breath in for a
moment and felt afraid.
Jean had never seen so many people in his life
as he saw at the terminus of the Gare St. Lazare,
nor had he ever seen people move so freely and so
quickly; there was neither stiffness nor bustle in
the swiftly circulating crowd. He dragged his
valise on to the platform, feeling strange and
isolated in this new, bewildering world.
“I beg your pardon, sir,” said a voice behind
him, “but I think you must be Monsieur le Baron.
I come from the Comte D’Ucelles, sir.”
Henri would have liked extremely to have come
to Jean’s assistance, but beyond seeing after his
scanty luggage and placing the oldest rug over him
in the motor as comfortably as possible, there was
nothing he could do. Still, Jean saw the friendliness
in his eyes and liked it. It was the only
friendliness he was to see for some time.
As he was dressing as quickly as he could for
eight o’clock dinner (his train had been late and
Henri had warned him to hurry) the Comte
D’Ucelles tapped at his door and entered. Romain
was a man who wore fifty years easily, he had a
most charming manner and a perpetual smile;
what he looked like when he wasn’t smiling no one
ever knew, for no one had ever seen his face in
repose. He smiled when he was pleased, when he
was bored, and when he was angry. He did not
smile when he was amused, because he had not
been amused for some time; he had long ago worn
out his capacity for amusement. He met Jean
with a generous outburst of reproach.
Upon his honour—was this really Jean? And
why on earth hadn’t he seen him all these
preposterous years? Jean had really behaved
abominably to them; and how immensely he had
grown, and what a charming time he would have in
Paris! He asked after Miss Prenderghast, he
rallied Jean on the broken hearts he was certain
to have left behind him in the country; he made
the most lavish excuses for having put Jean into
such a wretched room, though it was the handsomest
Jean had ever seen.
“It’s intolerable, my dear fellow, that I can’t put
you up permanently,” he went on, with his hard,
light eyes wandering about the stately apartment
and taking in the shabby luggage, the shy youth,
the pitiful, small appearance which made Romain
after all think that his wife had been right; “but
as a matter of fact, you know, your good aunt is
a little strict—young men will be young men, and
in Paris—well! well! Paris isn’t a young man’s
class of the Catechism, and the home is sacred! I
assure you, my dear boy, I keep it so, and so must
you, you know, when you marry; and meanwhile
have rooms—have rooms—they’ve fascinating
places in Paris to be had for almost nothing; we’ll
look into all that to-morrow. And now we mustn’t
keep your aunt waiting. To-morrow I’ll send you
to a decent tailor; that suit won’t quite do for
Paris, you know!”
Jean felt it wouldn’t. He had thought it very
smart before, but he was broader and taller than
his father, and the sleeves were too short, and the
back too tight; besides, it looked different from
his uncle’s.
Romain laughed genially, not cruelly, at Jean’s
embarrassment; still Jean felt that he had disappointed
this brilliant being; he wished he could
think of something suitable to say, something
dashing and witty and in the tone of his uncle’s
talk; but he could think of nothing. He had
always fancied before that conversation was a
means of expressing what you wanted to say, a
direct channel, as it were, for some very definite
idea, but this hardly seemed Romain’s notion of
the art. His words seemed to stand like a screen
between Jean and his thoughts, and to take the place
of some hard, light enamel covering a hidden
substance. He ran on with his continual easy
banter, quite as if he were Jean’s age, or as if Jean
were his; and as if nothing in the world mattered, or
could be worth a moment’s uneasiness or discomfort.
“We’ve very few people to-night,” he said.
“I would have kept you quite to ourselves, you
know, if I could, but one’s funny little social life
here beats up like a tide; you cannot keep the waves
off your particular piece of shore without being
as ridiculous as King Canute was with the Atlantic,
in your charming old England—which reminds me,
my dear boy, I am sending you in to-night with
an American girl; she can’t talk French, of course,
or at least we hope against hope that she won’t
try, and no one else can talk English, so you’ll have
the very great honour! Make an impression upon
her, I assure you it’s quite worth your while; she’s
immensely rich and immensely handsome, and is
going to be, I believe, quite the rage. I must
confess to you American women don’t suit me, I
prefer flesh and blood in a woman, not sawdust and
cold steel. All the same, she has a ravishing figure,
and I believe the figure of her income is still more
magnificent. They may both be quite natural, for all
I know to the contrary, but your dear aunt has
made certain of the money!”
Jean was accustomed to a large house full of old
things, but they were an entirely different type of old
things from that of which his Uncle Romain had
acquired possession. They were old because they
were worn out and shabby, they were not old because
they were precious and rare. The reception-rooms
through which he passed with Romain to the
drawing-room, where Madame D’Ucelles awaited
them, were not larger than those he had left behind
him, but they seemed so, because of their extraordinary
brilliant emptiness. The first that they
passed through had nothing in it but portraits,
and a wonderful old bronze on a pedestal;
this opened into another, with very little, very
perfect Louis XVI. furniture. The chimney was in
marble, with a delicate Sèvres china clock; in the
corner was a grand piano covered with ancient
jewel-encrusted embroidery. A screen of painted
leather stood by the side of the fireplace, and one wall
was entirely covered with shelves of oriental china.
Madame D’Ucelles and a small group of friends
stood by the fire. Jean had seen evening dress
before in a provincial theatre, but it was not in
the least like this. He hardly recognized his aunt
in the bedizened, exposed, and highly coloured
lady leaning over an old rose-pink sofa in an attitude
that she tried to make as gracefully light as she
could.
Madame la Comtesse D’Ucelles was extremely
handicapped in the social race by a hopeless lack
of the souplesse she adored.
One of Romain’s friends said of her: “Our poor
Marie would so love to be thought indiscreet, but
what can one say? She fights hard to produce
the appearance of evil, but the upper lip and the
stubborn bourgeois blood refuse to permit such
laxity. She is hopelessly bonne femme, she cannot
be anything wilder than a dear old cow. It is true
that she can, if she likes, kick over the pail, but
what she can’t do is to produce champagne instead
of good rich country milk, and that, poor dear, is
what she wants to do! She cannot go to anyone’s
head, she is not intoxicating, she can only (look at
our good Romain) help to create an embonpoint!”
Madame D’Ucelles’ upper lip might be against
her, but she and her dressmaker had fought hard
to defeat it! Of all the little group around her,
she most looked to her nephew from the country,
the extreme presentment of the ultra-fashionable
life he had heard of and read about. Perhaps if
Marie had known of this impression she might have
allowed it to soften her manner a little; but as it
was, she fixed her small, round, brown eyes on
Jean, and despised him.
He was all the things she hated—poor, young,
without even an incipient material value, and yet,
even in his badly-fitting clothes and in the midst
of a room full of strange sounds and light, and
critical human beings, there was in him that
ineradicable ease of race.
He was shy but he was not awkward; he was
embarrassed but he was not as the men of her
class would have been, clumsy. He did not, indeed,
know quite what to say, but he lifted clear eyes
to her face; and if there was anything that Madame
D’Ucelles never forgave, it was dignity in an inferior.
Jean had not felt his uncle’s light laughter at his
appearance half as much as he felt the scornful
glitter in his aunt’s eyes. Without moving her
elbow from the sofa on which she leaned, she gave
him her heavily bejewelled fingers to kiss.
“Your train must have been late, I fancy,”
she said. “I hope you left your aunt well in
the country; we must discuss our family affairs
by and by. Miss Vanderpool, let me introduce
my nephew to you—le Baron D’Ucelles, Miss
Vanderpool. Romain, dinner has already been
announced.”
Jean turned his attention to a magnificent young
woman who seemed to take instant possession of
him with a flicker of her stony, flat, grey eyes.
“I am delighted you can talk English,” she said
to her companion. “My! I do get so weary
of trying to slip into French; not that I ever do try
very hard, though I take lessons every day, but
one has to understand a bit, so as not to be taken
in.”
Jean did not imagine that the young woman
beside him would ever run much risk in that
direction. Pauline Vanderpool was indeed, as
Romain had told him, a very handsome young
woman, but Jean thought she could never under
any circumstances have been a young girl. She
was dressed with consummate taste, though she wore
rather too many pearls. She had the finished
manner of a woman who is accustomed to admiring
obedience, and he could never imagine anyone
venturing either to deceive her or to disagree
with her.
“I think the Comtesse is a real smart woman,”
she obligingly added to Jean, as they took their
seats. “She’s your aunt, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is my uncle’s wife,” said Jean.
“Well! that’s a good enough aunt in America,”
conceded his companion. “She says she likes me,
she says she adores me; do you think she’s sincere?”
Jean looked rather helpless.
“I don’t know my aunt very well,” he said at
last.
Pauline threw back her head and laughed.
“Well, it’s easy to see that your mother was an
Englishwoman,” she said. “Why, if I’d given
your Uncle Romain that opening, he’d have sent
me blushing into next week.”
“I’m afraid I am very stupid, mademoiselle,”
said poor Jean. “I’ve only just come to Paris.”
It was evident that whatever blushing there was
going to be, would be entirely on Jean’s part.
Pauline laughed again.
“I suppose you are going to live right away
with the D’Ucelles, aren’t you?” she asked curiously.
“No, I don’t think so, mademoiselle,” said Jean.
“My! but that’s odd,” cried Pauline, regarding
him closely. “Why ever not?—where are you
going to live, then?”
“I shall find rooms to-morrow, I imagine.”
“You people over here are funny,” said Pauline.
“I suppose as your uncle and aunt haven’t any
children, you are their heir, aren’t you?”
Jean shrugged his shoulders; he was getting
angry, and it improved his manner.
“I am really afraid you must ask them, mademoiselle,”
he said gently. “I know so very
little myself about their affairs.”
“I suppose you have money of your own, then?”
inquired the relentless Pauline.
“Mademoiselle, I have enough,” said Jean,
trembling with rage.
“All the same,” Pauline went on, “I think it’s
real mean of them not to keep you on here.
Why, their house is as big as an hotel. Doesn’t it
make you mad?”
“If you do not mind, mademoiselle, I should
prefer not to discuss my relations in a language
that they do not understand,” said Jean, biting
his lip.
Pauline stared at him.
“Goodness me!” she exclaimed. “You wouldn’t
discuss them in a language they could, I
suppose?”
Jean hesitated.
“In France,” he said gently, “it is not our
custom to discuss our relations at all.” And this
time Pauline did understand. She did not blush,
nor did she show any sign of displeasure. She
measured Jean with a calculating eye; he was a
negligible quantity, poor Jean—he was not even
good looking; his face was too thin and too pallid,
his features too angular, only his clear-cut, sensitive
mouth and a certain shining eagerness in his vivid
dark eyes held the observer’s attention, but they
did not hold Pauline’s.
“In America,” she said, with calm distinctness,
“we discuss what we choose, and I guess I intend
to allow myself the very same licence over here!”
And she turned a beautiful white shoulder upon
Jean and devoted the rest of dinner to her other
neighbour.
It was the second time that evening in which
Jean discovered that if you have no material value
you are not supposed to claim the right of a
spiritual one.
Romain laughed at him after dinner.
“My dear boy!” he said, “what on earth did
you say to La Belle Américaine to make her deluge
poor Le Blanc with her atrocious French. He says
she gave him a tooth ache; were you trying to
snub her?”
Jean flushed scarlet.
“You did not tell me she had no manners!”
he muttered.
Romain laughed again.
“My poor child,” he said, “good manners are
historical nowadays; they are the survival of race.
One does not expect them from Americans; they
have—those charming children of yesterday—nothing
to survive from. It is true one hears
of the Pilgrim Fathers, but that can hardly be
looked upon as a satisfactory pedigree, particularly
as one gathers from the absence of all allusion to
the mothers that ‘ces gens-là’ married beneath
them! I don’t offer people advice as a rule, it
might bore them and it would certainly bore me;
still I will go so far as to say to you that you mustn’t
think too much about manners. You see the rich
have inherited the earth, but they’ve kept, poor
dears, the manners of the soil, and it’s considered
a little diplomatic just now to meet them half
way. You take me, perhaps? An air just a little
less rigid than your own, my dear Jean,
will find itself more at home in Paris. Don’t
trouble to go into the drawing-room again; if you’re
tired go to bed.”
Jean escaped with relief. He thought his Uncle
Romain fascinating, but he felt horribly raw and
exposed, and quite appallingly young. When he
reached his room he found that Henri had unpacked
all his things, and put the thermometer and the
medal on the dressing-table. There was an
absence of direct utility about these memorials
that went to Jean’s very heart.
At the sight of his incompetent treasures, all the
jumbled impressions of the day rose up before
him, the surprises, the shames, the bewilderments,
and the loneliness. He too, like them, had nothing
about him that seemed fitted to shine in this new
existence; but they were more fortunate than he,
for they did not lie awake far into the night wishing
that they were ten years older, and could talk
without meaning anything, and had a new dress-coat.
They lay on the dressing-table surrounded by
beautiful silver ornaments, quite as if they were on
the old wooden washing-stand in St. Jouin and
not in the least aware of any depreciation in their
value.
CHAPTER IV
“MY dear fellow,” said Romain, wandering
vaguely into the breakfast-room at about
eleven the following morning. “I really am quite
desolated, but I find I can’t take you to the Bank
to-day. It appears that I promised your aunt in
some dreadful forgotten hour to go to a wedding,
a funeral, or a christening—I never can keep any
account of church functions, can you?—of a
distant cousin on her side of the family. You
and I, my dear Jean, manage better; we keep, as
it were, our relatives down—between us I doubt if
we could raise half a dozen; but I have always
noticed a terrible tendency in families such as your
aunt’s to have relations, here, there, and everywhere,
and such substantial people too; and one
can’t get away from substantial people in church.
For my part I am a good Catholic, I think I may
fairly say. I have the mind of a Byzantine, but I
do not like the personal note in religion. I would
so very much rather not know whom I am praying
beside. A smart wedding is one thing, but your
aunt’s relations do not have smart weddings. One
goes to out-of-the-way churches where large, red-faced
women in purple dresses weep into their
handkerchiefs. I do not find myself inspired to
comfort them. No, I have had my déjeuner,
thanks, in my room—and you?”
It seemed that Henri had brought Jean something
more than an hour ago.
“Yes,” said Romain thoughtfully, “Henri is an
excellent servant, he thinks of things. Do you
know I have such a good idea. He shall take
you to the Bank this morning, and afterwards find
you rooms! After all I do not think I should be
of the least use in looking for rooms, candidly—I
am not a man of affairs, and when it comes to
questions of money I am very like the lilies of the
field; as I have neither toiled nor spun, you know,
I don’t quite appreciate how to economize. I
daresay Henri knows a great deal about Paris,
and I recommend you to find out what. Henri,
take Monsieur le Baron to this address, and afterwards
put yourself at his disposal to look for rooms.
Now, my dear Jean, I don’t think there is anything
more I can do for you, is there? Your aunt finds
herself a little fatigued this morning, and I believe
will not be able to give herself the pleasure of seeing
you. That matters the less as I shall expect you,
of course, to look on this house as your headquarters;
come in and out whenever you like, you
know. Au revoir!”
It would hardly be worth while relating the
parting blessing of Romain if Jean had been so
fortunate as to see him in the weeks that followed;
but though he called six times upon his uncle in the
next fortnight, he never found Romain in. Once
indeed he met him in the evening entering a café,
but Romain did not seem to see him. He was
very much pre-occupied at the moment, preserving
in his own inimitable way the sanctities of the
home; but there was something in his eyes as he
looked at Jean without seeing him which decided
Jean not to call again without an invitation; and
the invitation did not come. It was to Henri
instead that Jean owed his introduction to Paris.
So this was Paris—Paris the siren city of all
the world—this drenched, grey, violently noisy
spectacle. The streets were full of thick and
greasy mud, a multitude of shrieking taxis, thundering
drays, and bustling tradesmen’s carts flung
themselves fantastically through the crowded
thoroughfares. The shrouded, dripping houses
seemed to Jean to look disreputably, unwholesomely
fatigued; the raw, heavy air made him
shiver, and hurt his chest.
“Could we,” he asked Henry, “go by the Louvre
and Nôtre Dame?”
Henri looked surprised, but he only replied:
“Where you wish, Monsieur; that you see away
there on your left is the Louvre. Myself I think it
triste, but it is worse inside; there is a cemetery
there, and a cemetery indoors—there is something
about it that chills the spine! Monsieur does
not want to enter now, does he?”
“Just a minute,” pleaded Jean, “only a minute,
if we have time.”
“But yes,” said Henri, giving in with a good
grace when he found he must. “All the time in
the world, only Monsieur le Baron must not expect
to find much to amuse him in the Louvre; places
of that kind in Paris are chiefly valuable for the
English and the Americans—for that, yes, they are
useful; but for us, I assure Monsieur, they are not
at all considered the thing. There is the Luxembourg,
now, which is far more gay, and one need
not have been dead many years before one appears
in it. But Monsieur will please himself.”
Jean did please himself; he left Henri in an
outer court, and hardly knowing what led him,
Jean went straight through the long corridor to
the little room at the end where against her red
curtain the Venus of the soul leans a little forward
in tender welcome to her worshippers. Jean stood
there for a long time, his hat in his hand, his eyes full
of tears, looking at her. He felt as if amongst a
crowd of hostile strangers he had seen his mother’s
face.
There are certain moments in life that can never
be repeated—one’s first great sorrow—one’s first
great temptation—and one’s first sight of a divinely
beautiful created thing.
Henri regarded Jean with perplexity when he
came out of the Louvre.
“Monsieur le Baron has perhaps met a friend?”
he asked inquisitively.
Jean blushed a little.
“Yes,” he said simply, “I have met a friend.”
“Monsieur begins well,” replied Henri with
relief. “In Paris one needs friends. And now
for the Bank, Monsieur le Baron. This to your
left here is the Luxembourg; in the summer the
garden has a most chic appearance. One finds
there the smartest nursemaids in Paris; there are
also pictures within. I have an idea that we may
find Monsieur rooms behind the Luxembourg. I
shall make the endeavour; since Monsieur is to be
alone at first, cheerful surroundings are of importance.
Here is the Banque de Paris et des
Pays-Bas, as Monsieur le Baron sees.”
Jean hesitated a moment before the heavy front
of his future prison. He knew quite well it would
be to him a prison, and he feared his first deliberate
entrance into it. He had not realized how he
had counted on his light-hearted, unembarrassed
uncle to help him make the first plunge into a
serious life, but he remembered that he was after
all Jean D’Ucelles, and that he would not have
liked the Venus of Milo to be ashamed of him;
so he pushed back the heavy doors and entered,
presenting his letter quite firmly to a youth who
was under the impression that it was his place as
doorkeeper to impede as far as possible anyone who
wished to go out or in. After a contemptuous stare
at Jean, he turned the letter over, whistled, and
vanished. By and by a much more important
individual requested Jean to follow him; and he
passed through a green-baize door shrouded in
mystery, and found himself in the Directors’
room.
The Director gave him fully five minutes; he
told him where to go next morning, and said that
he might begin his duties then, and that the head
clerk would tell him what to do. The Director
asked after the Comte D’Ucelles and suggested
that some day Jean might dine with him. Then
he rang the bell and dismissed him. The one
idea that had come to Jean during this important
interview was that there was something the matter
with his clothes. He explained his fears to Henri
and consulted him about Romain’s tailor, though he
thought he would probably prove too expensive.
“Why should Monsieur le Baron pay for his
clothes at all?” asked Henri. “The name is
the same.”
Jean was very indignant with Henri, which was
a mistake, because Henri instantly retired into
his shell.
“Mon Dieu!” he said to himself. “They come
from the country with their eyes glued shut and
their mouths open, and then wonder why they
remain hungry! It is, after all, only in Paris
that we know how to get the world between our
teeth! Let him learn this! For myself, I shall
do better to keep my mouth shut. It is a terrible
task to teach a fool.” And so Jean lost his only
friend in Paris.
In the end Jean ordered the suit, and was relieved
to find that he should not have to pay for it at
once.
“He has come to Paris straight from the bon
Dieu,” thought Henri. “Quelle bêtise!”
“Monsieur le Baron will get very wet if he wishes
to go as far as Nôtre Dame,” he remarked aloud.
“But from this bridge here across the Seine we
can see it very well. I should say if anything
better; it is not a fashionable church!”
Jean strained his eyes through the curtain of
rain to catch the towers of Nôtre Dame. To-day
there was no sunshine, and the cathedral crouched
menacingly under the dispirited sky, a big, colourless
block of time-defiant stone. Henri shivered ostentatiously—he
did not wish to encourage Jean to
remain out longer in the rain. He ventured to
suggest that rain in Paris being, as a well known
fact, highly dangerous for strangers, Monsieur
le Baron would do well first to get something
of a cordial nature to drink, and then to find his
lodgings as soon as possible. Jean obeyed both
suggestions, and Henri benefited, as he had intended,
by the first.
It was not, however, so easy to find lodgings;
everything—even the least attractive rooms at the
top of the steepest flight of stairs—seemed to Jean’s
country mind wickedly extravagant.
“But one cannot need to pay all that just for a
room to sleep in?” he expostulated over and over
again.
“In Paris,” observed Henri, “the very air is
worth more than elsewhere, but, Monsieur le Baron,
I grieve very much to have to say it, hitherto we
have made an attempt to keep to the fashionable
quarter. I know very well where we can get rooms
cheaper, but I had not wished to mention it. On
my return, Monsieur le Comte will snap his fingers
and say to me, ‘Then you have buried Monsieur
my nephew in a neighbourhood of greengrocers; I
am to fall over cabbages in order to see him, hein!’
And yet if one cannot have Bohemian pheasants,
one need not starve on soup made from bones!
That is how I look at it, Monsieur le Baron. Shall
we try another quarter?”
“Yes,” said Jean impatiently. “Any other
quarter. I do not wish to be fashionable to sleep!
Anywhere that I can find a clean, decent room,
and get into it out of this noise and rain, I shall
be satisfied.”
“Noise, Monsieur?” said Henri, a little shocked.
“What you hear is not noise, it is Paris. Down
here by the river then and across the bridge. There,
Monsieur, is the Académie Française. People think
very much of it, I am told. I prefer Les Capucines,
but chacun son goût, non? And here in the Rue
de Seine is perhaps something for Monsieur.”
Jean was by this time so tired that even if Numéro
5, Rue de Seine, had been more grey, more dirty,
more coldly stuffy and draughty than it was, he
would have closed with it thankfully. Henri
persisted in seeing the bright side of things—there
were but four flights of stairs—the room was, he
really thought, a marvel of cheapness; the
concierge’s wife said so—there was a café opposite,
so convenient for the meals of Monsieur—and then
the view! Monsieur, being fresh from the country,
would appreciate the fact that it was at the back
of the house, where it had the quiet of a desert
and a view of the sky itself. Henri thought there
was something very cheerful about so many gilt
mirrors, and he pointed out to Jean that with the
help of a few photographs of beautiful women and
a chair, which he could hire for a trifle from Henri’s
nephew only two streets away, the room would have
a distinguished air that would impress his uncle;
in short (with a wink at the concierge’s wife) he
thought that Monsieur le Baron was to be congratulated;
and now was there anything more
that he, Henri, could do for him?
No, Jean thought there wasn’t, and he was very
grateful and shook hands so cordially with Henri,
not forgetting either to give him ten francs, that
Henri felt quite cross and bitter as he went downstairs;
he almost refused the ten francs, and all
the rest of the day he was sorry he had not refused
them. However, he eased his conscience by speaking
very handsomely of Jean to the concierge’s wife,
and telling her it would be well worth her while
to look after Jean as if he were her own son; and
he arranged that Jean should have the armchair
for less than his nephew would have wished to
charge.
As for Jean, left alone in the gathering dusk of
the autumn afternoon, there was nothing more anyone
could do for him, and he realized, as he had
never done before, what a very great deal there
was left for him to do for himself.
CHAPTER V
JEAN tried hard to be interested in his daily work.
The day after Henri left him he went to the
Bank with the greatest punctuality, and had in
consequence to walk up and down the pavement
for half an hour outside, before the door opened.
It was a chastening experience and Jean did not
repeat it. He worked with diligence and industry
at the tasks the head clerk assigned him, and found
that by so doing he had hours on his hands with
nothing to do at all; he also annoyed his fellow
clerks, and they told him so. Jean was an extremely
good-natured person upon all indifferent
subjects (and like all artists, most subjects were
indifferent to him). His pride was far too deep-seated
an affair ever to appear in the presence of
his inferiors, so that he gave up any inordinate desire
to distinguish himself among columns of figures
and bundles of cheques, and wrote bars of music
on all available scraps of paper instead. This
amused Jean and appeased the clerks, and the
business of the Bank, not being entirely in the
hands of these young gentlemen, went on in much
the same manner as before.
After a fortnight the clerks decided that as Jean
had shown no nonsense about him, had borne
ridicule with indifference and accepted tips of the
trade with a clear desire to show himself amenable,
he might, if he responded favourably, be introduced
into their real life.
Jean was intensely anxious to see real life and
without the remotest notion of what it meant, so
he responded with enthusiasm. He was invited
to dine with three men at a café and go on to a
few little things afterwards.
It was then that Jean made a most shocking discovery—he
did not like life!
No! there was no doubt about it whatever; he
was twenty-one, and in full possession of his
faculties, and this presentment of existence so
handsomely offered him by these junior clerks of
the Banque de Paris et des Pays-Bas did not amuse
him at all. It even appeared to him ugly, meaningless
and vulgar. This then was what the Curé
meant by temptation, and what the doctor meant
by “life,” and what his Aunt Anne would doubtless
mean—a little sweepingly perhaps—by “sin.”
And it was this kind of thing which destroyed his
father?
It could not help surprising Jean; and it did
not occur to him that there are as many forms of
one particular kind of temptation as there are
shapes of one particular feature, and because you
do not admire a snub nose there is still the possibility
of submission to the shape of a perfect Greek.
At first Jean thought that perhaps the world was
right and he was wrong (this is a great admission
for any youth to make) and that the only difficulty
lay in amusement being an acquired taste. So
without confiding to his fellow clerks how extremely
he disliked their little parties (which were for the
most part harmless enough and not more vulgar
than the extremely small salaries at their disposal
warranted) Jean set himself to acquire the missing
flavour. He was very much in earnest about it,
and he spent an awful evening trying to entertain
a little lady, who sang at a café, and to whom he
had been introduced as a great and enormous
privilege the evening before. The little lady had
one idea of amusement and poor Jean had quite
another. She wanted to attract attention, and it
appeared that Jean did not. When at the end of
the evening she got up on a table and danced, Jean
would have liked to get under it and be no more
seen.
It was then that he made his second decision.
He saw that he was meant to be a hermit. It was
quite probable that the lady would have agreed
with him.
Jean set about altering his life as fast as possible;
at twenty-one there is never any time to lose. So
far his religion had been as natural as the air he
breathed, but it had not been, so he owned himself,
very practical. He had been born a good Catholic,
as he had been born a gentleman, and he had considered
his faith in the light of spiritual good
manners. One fasted on Fridays and vigils and
went to Mass on Sunday; it would have been
extremely bad form and regrettably republican not to
do so; still Jean felt that there were depths he had
never plumbed. He told his Confessor this, and
he pointed out to him that he was drawn to a higher
life; he also added that he could not for a moment
understand a taste for any other. The Confessor
was an old man, he knew a good deal about life,
and he listened very humbly to Jean. He saw
that Jean was suffering from a feeling that the
Church had hardly done its duty in permitting
sin at this time of day to exist, and that something
ought to be done about it at once. Jean explained
to the Confessor that he thought the world, the
flesh and the devil overrated as temptations,
and if only the Church would show people how
dull and vulgar all life that was not a direct spiritual
vocation was, hermits would increase from that
moment. The Confessor did not say that this, to
him, would hardly be a desirable termination. He
was not at all a sarcastic Confessor, and he was very
fond of young men.
“I think, perhaps,” he said rather cautiously,
“you do not know all about it yet. There are”—he
hesitated again; he seemed a painfully slow
old man to Jean—“so many different kinds of
things.” He finished very lamely, Jean thought.
“To me there are only two kinds of things,”
said Jean firmly—“what is beautiful and what
is not. I have chosen.” He expected the priest
to say something more, something a little appreciative
perhaps, but he only sighed. “Of course,
other people may be different,” added Jean, who
was afraid he might have sounded intolerant.
“But I do not think they are,” said his Confessor
gently. “My dear son, I think we are all very
much alike. I have lived a long while, and I have
seen very few different people, and those
who have sometimes thought themselves so have
not always proved very wise.”
Jean let this pass, it did not sound to him very
probable.
“But you approve of my desire, do you not,
father?” he added with impatience; he was
beginning to think he had not made a good choice
of a Confessor.
“I do not think I know quite what it is,” said
the priest, after a pause.
“I mean to join the Third Order of St. Francis,
and, while endeavouring, for a year at least, to
stay in the world, to be preparing myself possibly
for a sterner vocation.” How proud and pleased
the good Curé at home would have been if he could
have heard Jean, and how disgusted the doctor!
But Jean’s present auditor was neither pleased
nor disgusted, nor even very much surprised.
“I should not join any Order yet if I were you,”
he answered. “You have told me that you are
twenty-one—no, I should not join any Order; but
for the rest I approve, my son, only——” The
Confessor paused again.
“Yes, my father?” said Jean. He felt that
every moment was wasted in which he was not
leading the higher life, and he was impatient for
the Confessor to give him some rules.
“Only,” said the father at last, “I think we
should all beware of spiritual pride, it is apt to
weaken the mind. I fancy we cannot see very
clearly what is right if we are too sure about what
is wrong. I fear I express myself very badly.”
Jean privately thought he did, but he could not
very well say so; besides, he knew that he was
in no danger from spiritual pride, he meant to be
very humble and absolutely obedient, even to this
rather foolish old man. It was a great sacrifice
to Jean not to join the Third Order, but he never
dreamed of doing so after his Confessor had advised
him not to.
“If you can help it,” added his Confessor, “do
not make up your mind very much about anything
else, just now.”
“But do not you think it well to be definite,
my father?” Jean asked, in great astonishment.
The old priest spoke quite firmly this time, it
was the end of the interview.
“No, my son,” he said. “I do not think it
well to be very definite; I think it better to be
obedient. We all know a great deal—that is our
danger; let us see that we do a little of it—this is
our security.” And he dismissed Jean, to whom
he had not given a single rule, at least Jean could
not remember that he had.
CHAPTER VI
JEAN bore his new resolutions very easily at
first; they filled up his days and they gave
him an incentive, and for a time he did not
come into contact with any other point of view.
“Voyons,” the concierge’s wife exclaimed to
Henri, “you have sent us a saint. I am not the
less careful of him on that account, you may imagine.
For myself, I believe there is luck in such things.
My husband is, as you know, a sceptic; he says
that it will not last. Poor young man! I sometimes
think to myself it is a little sad—so young
and with so much to see, and always to be looking
at Heaven!”
But Jean did not find it sad; he thought it
was well to keep up his music—monks have been
composers before now. So he spent all his spare
time at the piano and bought the latest compositions
of a famous Russian composer. One could
hardly call his music strictly religious, perhaps,
but Jean felt confident that it could be religiously
applied. Then it occurred to him one day that
he was a little selfish. Here he was, professedly
conscious of a new truth, leading a splendid and
invigorating life and making no attempt to share
it. It was not that Jean wanted to preach; he
was not a prig, even though he was very much
in earnest; but he did want to do good and communicate,
and he also wanted sympathy, but of
this he was perhaps hardly aware. At twenty-one
we are not likely to know very much about
our own characters. We are too busy making
them. Jean was extremely susceptible to sympathy.
Appreciation and approval were like wings to his
efforts, even opposition made life easier to him
than indifference.
He could not really enjoy being a hermit without
someone to say that it was, if not a great success,
at least an astonishing attempt, and so far Jean
had not surprised anyone in Paris. It came to
him one Sunday afternoon with a flash of inspiration,
why should he not reveal his new way of life
to Maurice Golaud? He was almost certain to
be in Paris now; he had said he would, as a matter
of course, come up for the winter, and it was already
late in December. It was improbable that Maurice
would at once desire to share Jean’s austere
existence, but he could discuss its charms with
Maurice, and point out to him how disappointed
he had been in what Maurice had called “life.”
Perhaps by this time Maurice was disappointed
too. At any rate, it would be very jolly to see
Maurice again. He ought to go and see Maurice,
and he re-read the address. The name Mademoiselle
Liane de Brances meant nothing at all to Jean.
He did not know that she was a lovely French
actress, almost of the first class. How should he?
As a hermit he had never entered the theatre,
and in his pre-hermit days his fellow clerks had
introduced him chiefly to music halls. He did
think that it was a pity he should have to find
Maurice at this lady’s address; he even thought
of writing and arranging an appointment in his
own room; but there was that fatal and entrapping
confusion between desire and duty. Surely he
ought not to waste any time in going to Maurice?
He would waste no time—and he went.
Everything was different from what Jean had
expected. To begin with, the maid did not think
it necessary to inform Jean that Maurice was out;
she knew her mistress to be alone and in a bad
temper, and in these circumstances she had
experienced before the extreme efficacy of a young
man. He acted upon Liane’s nerves like a sedative,
and Liane’s servants made a point of considering
her nerves. So she took Jean’s card straight to
her mistress and left him to make what he could
of a fashionable actress’s boudoir, while he waited.
Maurice had often spoken to Jean of his “little
place” in Paris, but Jean in his wildest dreams
had never imagined a little place like this. The
room was not very large, but it was extraordinarily
light and gay. Great bowls full of scented flowers
stood everywhere. Signed photographs of names
that had reached even to St. Jouin were flung
carelessly about, exquisite small ivories and dainty
bonbonnières were set out on little tables. By the
delicately curtained windows stood a screen of
very fine old miniatures, and on a long, narrow
table was a valuable collection of old snuff-boxes.
Everywhere were mirrors—long mirrors, short
mirrors, round mirrors, oval mirrors; the tables
and chairs were white and gold, and here and
there on the walls hung toneless Japanese prints,
pale grey, or white with wavy black lines.
There was only one painting in the room—it
hung over the mantelpiece, and after Jean had
looked at it he saw nothing else.
It was a painting of a woman. She seemed
almost to speak as she leaned with bent head out
of the picture. There was no smile on her face—lovely
and blooming and intensely gay, there was
about her an enormous and unlimited satisfaction.
She seemed, as it were, clothed in a dauntless
confidence. There she sat with uplifted shining
eyes, waiting for her opportunity, and relentlessly
competent to take it.
Jean heard a faint sound behind him, and turning,
he saw the original of the picture.
Liane was fifteen years older now, and she was
no longer waiting for her opportunity.
She was a tall woman, whose figure already
required care; she had thick coils of magnificent
chestnut hair, much of which was still her own.
Her arched eyebrows gave a questioning, mysterious
look to her wide grey eyes with their deep
bisque shadows. She had the most beautiful
mouth in Paris, and she had been famous for her
smile. Poets had sung of it, artists had tried to
paint it, lovers had sworn they would die for it.
They had not found that necessary, but many of
them had found it remarkably expensive.
Ten years ago that smile of Liane’s was the talk
of Paris, but perhaps rather too many other things
had been talked of since. It was by now a little
blurred, tightened by repetition, and hardened by
inevitable usage, still even now it was a work of
art, and, without the stage, it would have afforded
Liane a handsome income. It was perhaps no
mean test of a hermit.
Jean stood watching her with a hypnotized air;
it was a great tribute to Liane, but as an attitude
in a Parisian boudoir it was a trifle awkward.
Poor Jean! How beautiful this woman was,—and
he had never seen a beautiful woman before.
Liane hardly seemed to move as she approached
him; her figure glided through the room like the
idle wing of a bird in slow flight across a summer
sky. It had taken a danseuse two years to teach
Liane how to walk.
She was dressed in a pale dove-grey tea-gown,
with a knot of violets at her breast. It was not
surprising that Maurice admired her more even
than his own imperially cut and waxed moustache;
nevertheless, he had gone to the courses this afternoon
without her, and Liane de Brances did not
like being left alone.
“Vous êtes le bien-venu, Monsieur,” said Liane,
in the modulated musical tone which she had
learned for the theatre. It was not her natural
voice, and she looked at Jean with a soft enclosing
look which seemed to shut out the world.
No woman is very dangerous to a man unless
she is a little self-conscious, and Liane was so completely
self-conscious that she could afford to be
perfectly natural. She knew herself as an artist
knows his picture or a captain his ship.
“I think you have fallen from heaven!” she
said, sinking into a chaise longue and patting the
cushions left and right of her into a suitable background.
“Or if you have come from the other
place that will be more amusing still! Think of
it, Maurice has gone to the races, and left me alone
in the rain! It was clothes of course—the clothes
of a woman, Monsieur, are her tragedy. Mon
Dieu! the life one leads! I can assure you, it is
a slavery, and yet what can we do? For if one
does not strain every nerve to succeed, it becomes
a massacre! I believe I may truly say that every
woman in the company would murder me with a
new costume to-morrow if I did not put myself in
the hands of the greatest tyrant in Paris. You
know Madame Berthe, of course? She dresses
half the world, and we must attempt to accommodate
her. I was, then, at her house, if you will believe
me, at ten o’clock this morning—an hour when I
am never awake—I must have been driven there
in my sleep, I fancy, and if I have caught a cold
and ruined my voice, one sees very well why!
And after I had sat there an hour—an hour!—and
I am without exception the busiest woman in Paris—I
am sent a message that she cannot see me until
three! I assure you that for two pins I would
have burst into her private room and destroyed all
the costumes within sight! But I was handicapped
by thoughts of the future; I restrained myself, and
I return here furious. Maurice appears. I cannot
accompany him to the courses; instead I have to
go back to that infamous woman, or she won’t have
the second act ready at all; as it is, I shall have to
run in and out in pins. And they accuse us of being
gay. What a calumny! No housewife works as
I do. I have three parts a mile long to learn for
next week, and I haven’t looked at one of them!
Costumes! Costumes! And then a silly author
appears at lunch expecting me to know his twaddle
by heart and praise him for it. Oh la! la! the
vanity of these men who expect gratitude in return
for parts only fit for a sick crow! You have seen
La Fin de l’Amour of course? I ask you frankly,
how do I appear in it? You like it, hein? I
assure you I can do better than that; but one is
ruined of course by the rest of the cast. I told
Colin so yesterday—the premier is so careless, he
forgets half his words and apparently he imagines
that the front of the stage was meant only for
him. The less said of the women the better, it
is a marvel to me they are not hissed off the stage.
But my public are always good to me. You like
it?”
How was Jean to explain that he had never
heard of it, that even if he had, he should have
avoided it, that this lady’s whole profession appeared
to him to be wrong?
He hesitated, but he did not explain; he said:
“Then, Mademoiselle, you are an actress?”
Liane flung back her head and laughed and
laughed.
“Oh, Mon Dieu! An actress—I?” she cried,
when she could speak. “But do you not know
me, then? Have you never heard of me? I am
Liane de Brances? Ma foi, I did not expect to
have to explain myself at this time of day! I am
not a vain woman, but, Monsieur, Paris knows me!”
And she dropped her eyes and lifted them again,
with her head bent like the girl in the picture. She
spoke no more than the truth. Paris did know her.
“Maurice told me you came from the country,”
she added. “But it appears I had over-estimated
what the country amuses itself with. Perhaps
you have never seen an actress before?”
“Oh yes, I have,” said Jean, flushing a little,
“but I have not before had the pleasure——” and
he broke off, for Liane was laughing again.
“I am the first, then?” she exclaimed, with caressing
mockery. “Really the first? And you are not
afraid to meet a lady who is to be seen on the
posters? Quel courage, Monsieur!”
Here was Jean’s opportunity presented to him
afresh. Now was the time for him to tell Liane
that he had come to see Maurice, and Maurice alone,
and that his views of life were so different from
her own as to make all future communications
impossible between them.
Jean saw himself telling Liane this, he saw the
incredulous amusement, the offended dignity, and
his own ignominious retreat; and then, after all,
would it be right to leave her like this? Perhaps
if they became friends she might listen more
sympathetically to his point of view. It never
did to be premature. If he had but known it, this
was his one opportunity of escape—women like
Liane do not give a second opportunity. But he was
fated never to tell her his point of view. He
hesitated and was lost.
“Now you must make up for all you have not
known, Monsieur,” said Liane, with her enchanting
smile, “and I myself will teach you.”
It was a little difficult for Liane to talk to Jean,
still for another quarter of an hour she tried. She
really made an effort, because she was grateful to
him for the passionate adoration in his eyes. It
renewed her youth and gave her a feeling of ease
and comfort. It was the sensation of a tired
swimmer when the breeze drives back the salt
water from his mouth, and nerves him afresh for
the struggle. Liane was thirty-five, and lately
the salt waters of life had risen threateningly close
to those still perfect lips. In the end she knew
she must yield to age, and she liked Jean because
he made the end seem further off.
She asked him about his uncle, whom everybody
knew and who was so charming; she asked him
about his aunt, who of course was charming too,
but whom unfortunately Liane had not happened
to meet.
She was interested, to the point of stifling a
yawn, in the Banque de Paris et des Pays-Bas;
and where Jean lived and what he thought of Paris.
It was rather like talking in letters of the alphabet
to him instead of using civilized words.
But behind the talk she was busily thinking.
Who was it Jean reminded her of so much? Someone
she had known very well, whose little habits
and tricks of talking were familiar to her; she
must remember, and yet the name would not come
back to her mind. Then her eyes fell on Jean’s
hands and she started, they were narrow, well-shaped
hands with long fingers and a wide gap between
the thumb and the hand, and they were exactly
like the hands of a musician—a musician whom
Liane would never forget—the only real figure in
her life, perhaps. Certainly the only man for whom
she had really cared, and oh! how he had cared
for Liane! It was long before she was famous, or
it would never have done at all. He was poor and
struggling and the most unpractical person on
earth; he had no idea of what was due to a woman,
but he loved fiercely, with the wild, unappeasable
hunger of the soul which Liane never attempted
to satisfy. Still he had made her laugh and cry,
and in the end he had made her famous; because
he killed himself for her. It was all a mistake
really—it came of his taking things so seriously.
He never had any souplesse about him, and men
who will not bend, break. She had only made an
appointment to meet a friend; it was certainly
unfortunate that he should happen to hear of it,
and then he had promptly and publicly shot himself
in her presence, and Liane became the talk of Paris.
Through it she was offered the engagement which
gave her her great opportunity. Certainly he was
not a man to forget. Liane smiled a little as she
thought of him, not cruelly at all, but with a feeling
of grateful security, and amusement at her own
power. She had many rivals on the stage, but she
did not think that any woman had ever made men
feel so much. She was a queen of the emotions.
She leaned forward and laid her soft, perilous fingers
on Jean’s.
“You have a musician’s hands,” she said. Jean
did not attempt to return the pressure of her hand;
it would, he felt, have been taking advantage of
her heavenly kindness.
“I am not yet a musician,” he said, “but it is
true that is what I want to be. It is the thing I
love best and understand most in life.”
Had he already forgotten his new vocation?
It would have astounded Jean to know that he had.
Liane considered; she could not talk to him
any more, and he was obviously unfitted at present
for any other form of amusement; perhaps he
could play, she was really fond of music.
“Play to me then,” she said very gently. Jean
drew in his breath. Play to her! Oh, if he could!
He who was so little accustomed to play to anybody,
how dared he play to her—to the exquisite and
angelic human being whom merely to look at and
speak to was a delicious and mysterious fever?
“Do you—do you really want me to?” he
asked. For of course, if she really wanted him to,
he must! Liane smiled.
“Well, yes,” she said. “I really want you
to, Monsieur. Do you know ‘Les Jeux d’Eaux,’
that has an especial appeal to me, or better still,
Debussy’s ‘Les Jardins sous la Pluie?’”
“I don’t know either of them,” said Jean.
Liane thought him an idiot.
“Play, then, what you will,” she said, and
resignedly wondered if she could safely light a
cigarette, but she decided to wait. However,
she leaned back on the chaise longue luxuriously
and closed her eyes. Unless he played too badly
she could perhaps go to sleep.
Jean found himself trembling all over when he
rose to go over to the piano. Liane had talked
to him so cleverly that it had not appeared to him
that he had failed to amuse her. On the contrary,
he had enjoyed their conversation intensely.
Elizabeth was the most sympathetic woman he
had ever met, but her conversation was not nearly
so interesting as Liane’s. But music! music
was different; here he was really afraid to fail,
because he knew what good music was, and he
knew nothing about amusing conversation. In
half an hour’s time he felt he would be eternally
disgraced in his own eyes and in Liane’s. Then
he began to play some of the Russian music he
had just been learning by heart in his rooms as
a hermit. In a moment he realized that the music
expressed Liane, expressed the wonder of her, the
sacred beauty, the incredible force and joy! He
was not nervous any more after that, the music
became a communication between them, and he
let himself go. Jean’s music was an original and
instinctive note. He had spoken the truth when
he had told Liane it was the only thing for which
he cared. It was his only personal channel of
expression, roughened by inexperience and without
the bell-like clarity of disciplined practice, but it
was an authentic, living talent, and it shook the
artist in Liane wide awake. She sat up suddenly
and opened her eyes. Who was this young man
who was playing to her? This quite ordinary,
inarticulate young man, with his cachet of fils de
famille written all over him? The little Baron
D’Ucelles, who oughtn’t by all the rules of the
game to do anything better than anyone else?
He had caught at her heart and was holding
it with those hands of the master; he was
making her think and feel and forcing her
back into the currents of life. The notes flowed
from his fingers like fire and dew, his vivid impetuosity
awaked and astonished her. He had
come out of the world where, to Liane, men were
as trees walking; and he had become a distinct
value. When he stopped playing and came back
to her, she looked straight in his eyes.
“Bon!” she cried, “you deceived me, my
friend. I thought you were a young gentleman,
it appears you are an artist. What, may I ask in
the name of all the blessed saints, are you doing
in the Bank?”
“Ah!” cried Jean, exhausted but triumphant.
“Then you really think I can play? You really
believe in me?” Liane looked at her watch.
“I have listened to you for an hour, my child,”
she said; “do you not call that belief in you?”
“Oh, but Mademoiselle, I am ashamed, horrified—I
have played to you for an hour, a thousand
pardons!”
“A thousand nothings of the kind,” interrupted
Liane impatiently. “We drop all this now, you
know, you and I—we are artists, and artists, as
you probably don’t know, are very simple people
when they are together and attend strictly to
business. You will, of course, throw up this performance
at the Bank to-morrow. You had better
come here on Sunday at ten o’clock (the evening,
you know, mon petit; nothing is done at ten o’clock
in the morning but the saying of one’s prayers,
unless, indeed, one is under the tyranny of a dressmaker).
Then you must play to Cartier; he will
take you in hand, I fancy. I will have some other
men here too; this affair of yours must be well
looked into—and fancy that that crétin of a Maurice
hadn’t the sense to tell me you were an artist,
and there I was stiffening my jaws with the rubbish
of an afternoon call.”
Liane spoke to him simply, plainly, and like a
man. The awe of her exquisite manner fell away.
She no longer seemed to Jean like a mysterious
and potent being from another world; but he had
no time to regret the destruction of his illusion.
For the first time in his life he was talking to a
real comrade. Bliss had come out of solitude,
and submitted joyously to the reinforcement of
humanity. The names of great musicians flashed
between them. Liane flung her experiences into
his hands and drew out of him in return his
ambitions and desires; these at present, it seemed,
did not include retirement into a monastery or the
rules of the Third Order.
“You are one of the emotional players,” she
said to him. “Not the great, broad interpreters
who give you the picked bones of a musician’s
work—but one of their own brothers, who fire you
afresh with their laughter and their tears. You
will play Chopin most, I fancy. Schumann and
Grieg, and the Russian men—our French moderns
too, of course, Debussy above all; for there is
so much dream in you—but Cartier won’t let you
specialize yet. What he’ll give you is Bach and
Mozart; he’ll stuff it into you by the yard. You
must meet some singers, too, and play for them.
Often one must begin this way.”
In the middle of their talk the door opened and
Maurice Golaud stood there, tired and wet from
the courses, but looking at them nevertheless with
curious amusement in his eyes.
Jean stood up half embarrassed, with the burden
of his youth upon him, and as he did so he saw
Liane’s face change; it was as if she had covered
herself subtly and suddenly with a veil of intangible
gauze, the artist had retreated once more.
She was the beautiful woman with the lure in her
eyes. Her lips parted, and a glance ran between
her and Maurice which seemed to Jean like quick
flame. The smile in Maurice’s eyes deepened.
“Ah, you have found us at last, mon ami?”
Maurice said to Jean. “For my part, I was fancying
you must have picked up some pretty amusements
elsewhere, since you have been in Paris nearly a
month before looking us up. You should have
been at the courses this afternoon; it was really
not half bad. No, it wouldn’t have amused you,
ma chérie, no one was killed and no one was ruined,
and the ladies’ clothes looked passés in the rain.
You really did better for yourself remaining here,
and entertaining my dear old Jean.”
Liane smiled, but she did not say anything.
She no longer looked at Jean.
He got up to go; they both of them urged him to
remain, though Maurice went to the door with him
in a bland cordiality of farewell.
“Well, and now you have found your way here
you must come often,” he said. “I can see already
that Liane likes you.”
It was not easy for Jean to explain to Maurice
about his vocation now, but Maurice was, after all,
only another man, and Jean was not a coward.
“This is not the kind of life I have been living,”
he began lamely. “You see, Maurice, I am bound
to say so, I don’t like the—the ways of Paris.”
“No?” said Maurice cheerfully. “Well, that
is a pity! Still, if you have been leading a dull
life and not mixing with clever people like ourselves—one
understands. We must alter all that, you
know; I’ll talk to Liane about it. Au revoir,
Jean.”
The rain had stopped, and for the first time
Jean discovered a charm in the streets of Paris.
There was something mysterious and beautiful in
the air to-night. The faces of the women in the
crowd seemed as fresh as summer flowers, the
lights along the Seine wound their way into the
heart of the city like a string of fallen stars.
Jean held his head up as he walked; he felt an
indefinable sense of youth and vigour in his veins.
He noticed that one or two of the women as he
passed looked at him; and he no longer felt like
a ghost.
After dinner he went back to his rooms, but he
could not stay there. He was dissatisfied with
himself and he did not want to think. He went
to the window and looked out. It was ten o’clock;
if he was going to early Mass to-morrow as usual,
he had better go to bed.
La Fin de l’Amour was on at the Odéon. Jean
had never been to the Odéon, but he knew where
it was. If he went at once he would be in time
to see Liane in the last act.
After all, he had decided nothing, he had taken
no vows. How wrong it was of the old Confessor
not to let him join the Third Order! If he were
living under rule now—then for one moment Jean
faced his own soul and would not lie to himself.
“If I were living under rule now,” he said beneath
his breath, “I should break the rule.” After that
he thought no more about the higher life.
“Bon!” said the concierge’s wife, as she saw
him swing off down the street. “One knows very
well when they begin to walk like that what has
happened to them; but that will not make him
better off; one must be careful now about the rent,”
and she sighed. She was really at heart rather
sad to lose her little saint; her husband, she knew,
would triumph over her.
For the concierge’s wife, too, realized that Jean
had ceased to be a hermit.
CHAPTER VII
JEAN did see Liane in the last act of La Fin
de l’Amour, and Liane saw him.
Up to that moment she had no very definite
intentions about Jean. She thought if she wasn’t
too busy she would really give him an “evening”
to meet a few artists. She was good-natured and
liked to do inexpensive good turns, and if there
was really anything remarkable in Jean’s powers
it would decidedly prove something of a réclame
for Liane herself. But it had never occurred to
her to regard him more personally. Now as she
looked over the footlights and saw in one of the
front stalls the fierce ardour of his eyes, another
idea occurred to her. She was extremely sentimental
and not a little superstitious. “My first
musician brought me luck,” she said to herself,
“why not try the second? It is of course an
extravagance. He has no money and no importance,
but one never knows what may come
of a good action.”
From this reflection it will be seen that Liane’s
moral code was a trifle perverted. Still she had
a moral code, as most of us have, and Liane’s took the
form of occasionally doing things that did not pay
her. It almost seemed to Jean that Liane’s smile
was specially for him; perhaps it was. The next
evening he came in time for the first act of La
Fin de l’Amour though he could not again afford
the stalls. It was all very wonderful to Jean, but
it soon became merged and forgotten in the central
wonder of Liane.
To Liane acting was a business, but it was a
business brought to such perfection that it became
an art. It is not enough in Paris for an actress to
be beautiful, she must also act, and Liane on the
stage was a very tremendous power indeed.
It seemed inconceivable to Jean that he should
ever have had the privilege of words with her in
private; his love became an effortless, impassioned
dream. It was no use his thinking about her, so
of course he thought of nothing else. Then one
night he actually received a message from behind
the scenes:
“Won’t you come and see me? Liane de
Brances.”
He followed her messenger, though he still
believed there was some mistake. Liane could
not have seen him, and if she had, why should
she remember him? It was five days since he
had called upon her, but it had seemed like five
years to Jean. The Odéon is a very big theatre—old-fashioned
and given up to long passages and
bare rooms; it lacks the exquisite arrangements
of the first artists’ boudoir, the colour schemes
and artistic furniture of the more modern theatres,
but to Jean it all seemed magnificent enough, and
Liane’s room of white and gold, stiflingly hot and
brilliantly lighted, with a small dressing-room
leading out of it, astounded him by its importance.
Nothing could be too important for her, but he
had never known that artists’ dressing-rooms
would be the least like this. Liane was giving
the little finishing touches to her third-act costume.
The dresser was still in her room, passing her all
the things she might want, and receiving a running
fire of dispassionate abuse for her pains.
“What animals these women are!” said Liane,
giving Jean her left hand, while she touched up
the thick bisque of her arched eyebrows. “They
are born clumsy, awkward, infuriating—now you
may go,” she added to the impassive dresser, “and
don’t forget to come in time for the next act; if
I have to ring twice for you again, you shall be
sent to paint the clown’s cheek in the next pantomime!
Well, Monsieur Jean, do you realize that
to-morrow is Sunday and that I wish you to meet
all those grand music-makers I told you about
at ten o’clock, chez moi; and how do you find La
Fin de l’Amour? I perceive you have been
here often enough; am I to congratulate its author
on having at last found his public? The same
piece five nights running—that I call faithfulness!
And it is evident that no woman has influenced
you, for you have never been seen in the green
room!”
“I have not come to see the play,” said Jean
quite simply. “I have come to see you.” He
looked a little frightened at his boldness, but Liane
only laughed, and ran a powder-puff lightly over
her cheek and lips. “And I shall go on coming
to see you,” he added firmly.
“But of course; it would be dreadful if you
stopped!” said Liane, “that would be the end
of the compliment; but does the front of the house
satisfy you?”
Jean trembled. He could hardly believe his
ears, but his eyes were more faithful witnesses,
and he saw that Liane was still smiling.
“Not now,” he interposed, “not now, Liane.”
An electric bell rang out with a terrible persistent
sound, close to Jean’s ear. Liane caught up a soft
gauze wrap that lay on a chair.
“I must be off,” she said placidly. “A demain,
mon petit; run away now, this passage to your
right. But yes, you may kiss my hand if you
like. Au revoir!” And Liane sailed swiftly off,
leaving Jean to find his way back to his seat in
the house, dizzy and stunned with emotion.
He did not ask himself what she meant; he
did not ask himself what he meant. There are
times when we do not care to look too closely at our
intentions. He only said to himself: “I shall see
her again,” and it appeared to him as if the entire
theatre and the whole of Paris could read this
splendid promise in his eyes. A week ago and
the thought of actually seeing—and more tremendous
still—playing before des hommes arrivés
in the musical world would have absorbed his every
thought. But at present he did not greatly consider
these gentlemen—he was to see Liane again,
and not once only. And every word she had said
in their short interview wrote itself across his
brain and heart like fire.
Liane’s Sunday evenings were famous all over
Paris. She was in the habit of gathering together
a brilliant circle of writers, musicians, artists, and
actors. Maurice was seldom made particularly
welcome on these occasions. Liane preferred to
keep her intimes separate, but she could not very
well refuse to allow him to attend Jean’s début,
so that when Jean arrived the first figure his eyes
fell on was that of his old friend, trying to play the
experienced host and man of the world to a group
of men who were more successful in ignoring him.
They did not want Maurice to put them at their
ease, for they were at their ease already, and they
still less cared to be entertained, for they were
more than capable of entertaining and being
entertained by each other. Liane was dressed
in a close-fitting gown of sea-green satin, without
a single ornament. She was not in the very best
of tempers, but that hardly appeared for the
moment, though Maurice, who saw that it would
probably manifest itself to some purpose in the
future, felt extremely nervous and kept pressing
earnest offers of food and drink upon everyone
he could get to listen to him.
“Ah, my dear fellow!” he cried, with real delight,
when Jean was announced. “I am so glad to see
you. Come here! come here! You needn’t be
alarmed with all these big-wigs; they are very
good friends of mine and Liane’s—and I’ll introduce
them all to you presently. Come into the
dining-room and have a drink—you can smoke here
also, you know.”
Liane’s velvety voice cut across Maurice’s bluff
hospitality with merciless softness.
“Monsieur D’Ucelles will stay here with me,
Maurice,” she said gently. There was a little
silence for a moment. Maurice bit his lips and
escaped into the dining-room by himself. He was
relieved later by the appearance of two actress
friends of Liane’s who greatly preferred his company
to hers. At another time Liane would have resented
this, but at present it suited her purpose, and she
let it pass. Even the attraction of other women
can be useful sometimes.
“Here is the Baron D’Ucelles,” said Liane,
after Maurice’s disappearance. “He really plays,
you know, and you must listen to him, comme de
bons enfants. Afterwards,” she said smilingly to
Jean, “you shall hear their names, but not until
you have made your own. Have I not put that
prettily?” And as all Liane’s friends were bons
enfants and quite acknowledged Liane to be one
too, they prepared to listen.
Jean, seeing the keen, impassive attention on the
faces before him, felt physically incapacitated to
move. There were no young men present, the
youngest could not have been under forty. Life
and struggle and success were written in the lines
of their faces. Liane had more than kept her word
to him, these were all des hommes arrivés—the
picked brains of Paris, which is the brain of the
world. Liane glanced at Jean impatiently, but
one of the men near her came forward and put his
hand on Jean’s shoulder. He looked quite as
confident and sure of himself as the other men did,
but he looked something else too, he looked confident
and sure of Jean.
“We’ve all of us been through this, you know,”
he said, with a charming smile. “It’s deuced
uncomfortable, of course, but it doesn’t last; nothing
does, you know. Come over by the window, and
when they’ve all forgotten what we’re about, you
can make a start.” Jean obeyed him mechanically.
The other men nodded, and began to discuss with
neat, finished phrases the last great exhibition of
Van Gogh; it seemed that they knew all about
pictures. The room was full of smoke and soft
light. Liane lay back on her chaise longue, just as
she had done when Jean played to her a week ago,
only this time her eyes were open; she kept them
away from Jean, though, for she was annoyed with
him for not playing at once.
This did not have as devastating an effect upon
Jean as it might have had—for once Jean had
succeeded in forgetting Liane, as a man will always
forget a woman when he is face to face with the
thing to be done. He could not so easily get away
from the piano. He looked hesitatingly at his companion,
Jacques Cartier.
“Our good Liane tells me you are fond of
Russian music, it seems,” he said. Then Jean,
hardly knowing what he was doing, found himself
on the music-stool at last. “I, too, am very fond
of it; we go to the Russians, we Frenchmen, to learn
what is primitive again—for ourselves we have
none of that genre left, you know. We can only
create complications, and complications are a purely
modern note, don’t you think so?”
“I don’t know,” faltered Jean stupidly. He
was trying to think of the first bar of anything; it
seemed to him as if there were no first bars left.
Then he began to play; he was not quite sure how
it happened, because he didn’t consciously remember
the first bar even then, but it appeared as if his
fingers took volition into themselves and began
without him. There was an instant lull in the
conversation. Cartier leaned forward a little, listening.
They all listened as men in Paris listen, with
ruthless criticism and quite deadly lucidity of brain.
Jean played nervously and unequally at first, but
he soon began to gather strength out of the very
thinness of the sound, and at last he made his attack,
stung to desperation by the fear of failure, and
flung himself headlong into the music, dragging
out from his inmost being his own authentic note.
Then the listening artists nodded across Liane
to each other. “She has found someone, the
good girl,” their eyes said; and when he finished
they attacked him with one voice.
They pointed out that he couldn’t play a chord;
that that wasn’t the way to strike a note; they
assured him that his style was feeble and that his
conceptions wanted training. As for Jacques
Cartier, he was the most merciless of all.
“What you want,” he explained, “is brain,
pure brain, Monsieur; feeling runs about on the
surface like a dog with a tin can tied to his tail.
Anyone can hear him howl, yes, but that obtained,
what follows? With brain it is different, that is
walking about inside of yourself, and arriving at
something.”
“Practice is what you want,” said an old man
on the other side of Liane. “Practise eight hours
a day; you were born with velvet in those finger-tips
of yours; practise till one feels the steel behind
them.”
Then they all began together again, and pointed
out to Jean that he wouldn’t do at all as he was,
and that he must take instant steps towards
becoming different, and Jean was overwhelmed
with delight, because he saw that they really took
him seriously, and that they meant that he could
one day do something after all, and behind them
was Liane smiling at him, as if she were pleased
(as indeed she really was). The hubbub of sound
drew Maurice and the actresses into the room again,
and then Monsieur Cartier got on to the piano-stool
and played an imitation of Jean, just to show him
where his faults were, and it was quite screamingly
funny, and not at all unkind, because everyone
took Jean into the joke and chaffed him unmercifully
in the jolliest, friendliest way, as if they were
all schoolboys together, but none of them praised
him and said flattering things. They took him
far too seriously for that. Maurice clapped him on
the back, and the actresses made eloquent eyes at
him, when they thought Liane couldn’t see them.
And Liane found out, and there would have been
terrible trouble, only that Liane discovered that Jean
hadn’t known they were in the room; how could
he look at anyone but her? Which made everyone
begin laughing except the two actresses, who
were naturally a little annoyed.
And Jean was so glad, so relieved, and so bewildered
with their friendliness that for the first
time in his life he got very drunk indeed, and
Liane and the two other ladies, with the help of
Maurice, who had at last begun to enjoy himself,
had to put him to bed in the flat, where he fell
happily asleep to the sound of immoderate laughter,
and it was no wonder that the head clerk spoke
to the Director about Jean’s appearance at twelve
o’clock on the following morning.
It was really a very happy time if one swallowed
the bad moments quickly and ran on fast enough
into the good ones. Monsieur Jacques Cartier
gave Jean lessons every Sunday morning for
nothing, and the other men were always sending
him tickets when they were going to perform,
and often asking him to play for them. It was
a fascinating world, but none of it meant money,
and all of it meant life. So that at the end of
just six months in Paris, neither the Curé nor the
doctor would have recognized Jean. Miss Prenderghast
might have done so, because she had made
up her mind that Jean was going to change very
much, and that all of it would be for the worse.
CHAPTER VIII
LIANE was not fond of preliminaries. She
considered that life was short and that
love was infinitely shorter, and she thought that
the best plan with both was to live in the
present.
Jean perplexed and amused her; he adored
her ardently and blindly, and yet he seemed reluctant
to give himself up to the elements which
drew him. He was caught off his feet, but he
struggled and fought with the power that held him.
He had scruples and he wanted time. Liane gave
him no time and she laughed immoderately at
his scruples.
“You do not deceive your friend, mon ami,”
she said one night as they were returning from
the theatre. “If there is any deception on hand,
it is certainly my own. But, I assure you, your
friend Maurice does not consider me a nun, as you
appear to do. I do not know that I have given
him, or you either, any reason to suppose that I
find myself at home in a convent! He is a man
of the world, the good Maurice, at least he wishes
to be thought so. Bon! he must accept the world.
It is doubtless as the good God made it, and he
did not make it expressly for the jeune fille! In
Paris we get out of it what we can. Maurice is
the size of his income, neither larger nor smaller,
and I give him his money’s worth, rest assured!
Why should I give him more? He is not an object
of charity! For myself I am an artist; I should
bore myself prettily if I sat and pined all day for
your little man of the world! I need a friend
who is also an artist. It is you to-day; I remind
you, though you do not like it, that there have
been yesterdays, and that if you are not very good,
there will be to-morrows.”
Jean closed his eyes. He hated what Liane was
saying, and he thought if he shut his eyes he might
not see her words. He loved Liane best when he
was away from her and she could not disfigure
herself in his eyes; when he was in his dark and
lonely little room, and could feel a passionate
impatience and disgust with Maurice, his old hero—who
had long ago ceased to be a hero
in Paris, where young man at twenty-five, with
moustaches, self-importance, and a sense of life
were not particularly rare.
But when Jean found himself with Liane in
Maurice’s motor, he was apt to feel the disgust
and impatience with himself, instead of with
Maurice, and he was far too proud to like to feel
himself to blame. Liane saw this quite plainly,
even though she did not understand it. To-night
she had decided to cure it. She laid her hand
on his arm.
“Alors,” she whispered, “is it for me to tell you
to profit by to-day? I give you all that an artist
should give an artist; but, Jean, that is not all I
have to give!”
Jean’s eyes were drawn to her face; she knew
that was the way to make him forget all inconvenient
ideas; and he forgot them. He looked
at her and everything vanished, the cold of the
night around them, the flashing lights, the swift,
sharp cries of the streets, the softened whirr and
buzz of the passing cars, the houses, those sheltered
screens of human life, standing between them and
the sky—all these outer things, and all the inner
things too, Jean’s scruples and his struggles, his
reluctance, and the safeguard of his pride, failed
and fell away from him, under the spell of Liane’s
eyes. A hard compulsion came upon him; at
that moment he ceased to worship Liane, he wanted
her. He ceased to reflect; he could not speak.
He put out his hand and caught hers. He hurt
her, but she did not wince; like the girl in the
picture, she met his demand with serene, satisfied
eyes, waiting for inevitable surrender.
“Maurice is away to-night,” she whispered.
Jean followed her into the flat without a word.
The fortnight that followed Jean never cared
greatly to recall. There was still the Bank in the
daytime; sometimes he fell asleep over his work,
but his fellow clerks were very kind; they woke
him up and said to each other: “See how he
has begun to live, this little one!”
When he was roused, Jean used to shiver and
feel horribly sad; at these times he wished that
he had never seen Liane; a fierce thirst for loneliness,
and freedom for his soul, possessed him; he hungered
to shut out Liane’s face and get back to his piano,
his empty room, and the liberty of his dreams.
The long, dull day cramped and stiffened him, and
the money that ran through his hands seemed to
his nervous fancy to stain them like an unclean thing.
It was as if in its monotonous reiteration it spelt
Liane. It was for her that it came there, for her
that it increased, and then ran back into the streets
of Paris, a golden, sordid stream. The sound of
the money made Jean yearn for the sound and
smell of the earth at St. Jouin, for the clean air
and sweet loneliness of the woods. But when
evening fell and the lights came out, and Paris
awoke, when the streets filled with the stir of a well-dressed,
living throng, then Jean’s heart quickened,
and the Bank and St. Jouin, and even the piano
and its dreams, sank back into a hidden place in
his soul, and he became the happiest and gayest
young man in Paris, inconceivably loved by the
most splendid woman in the world.
It was not possible that he could wholly succeed
in hiding from Liane his intense separation of
spirit. She knew, indeed, extremely little about
spirit, but on the other hand she knew a great deal
about lovers, and it did not escape her that Jean
had, at moments, the power of estranging himself
from her possession. At the end of the fortnight
Maurice returned from the provinces, and Jean
explained to Liane in her dressing-room at the
Odéon that he had met Maurice.
“Well,” said Liane impatiently. “I do not see
anything very extraordinary in that. I have also
met him, mon cher; what then?”
“But you must not meet him again, Liane, not
now,” said Jean quietly. “You say the flat is
your own, so I shall not ask you to leave it, but
you must not allow Maurice to visit you there
again.”
Liane was silent a moment from sheer astonishment.
It was true that with a desire to spare Jean’s
feelings she had told him the flat was her own. It
was equally true that it was not—not in the sense
in which she had led Jean to believe it to be.
“Must not, Jean!” she repeated, laying down
her powder-puff and regarding him with blank
amazement. “Are you mad? What has this
poor Maurice done, then, that I am not to receive
him?”
“Liane! Liane!” cried Jean, taking both her
hands in his. “Why do you pretend that you do
not understand me? You do! you do! you
do!”
Liane withdrew her hands and returned to her
powder-puff.
“You are absurd,” she said coldly. “Do not
enrage me with your virtues from the provinces.
I will not be taught how to live by a chicken whose
shell I have just broken. I shall receive whom I
like when I like. One would think, Monsieur,
that I was your wife. Let me hear no more of these
impertinences!”
Jean went to the window and opened it; something
in his brain seemed to be burning to escape;
he felt hot, savage, and reckless. No, she was
not his wife; he supposed if she were he might have
trusted her, he might have respected her. As it
was, he did not, he hated her. All his heart seemed
filled with a hard exasperation. When he turned
to face her again, his eyes were fierce.
“I told him he could not come,” he said; “if
you receive him you do it at your own risk.”
“You told Maurice—told him he could not
come?” Liane gasped.
“I told him you must choose between us,” Jean
continued doggedly. “I know he has all the things
I have not got. I have nothing to offer you—yes,
that is true. You see me here, Liane; how much
do you suppose I have in my pocket? I think I
have three francs. Well, it is all I shall have till
the end of the month. Maurice is, I believe, rich;
but there is one thing I have which I will not give
up, and that is my pride. Now which is it to be,
tell me. If it is Maurice, I go!”
Liane contrived to stare at him for a moment
without speaking. She could say a good deal,
but she was not going to say any of it at present.
Jean with his ardent eyes full of fire and tears
charmed her jaded senses. He was a new experience,
she valued him. As for Maurice, that
was another story. She could, she fancied, make
some arrangement about Maurice. He would not
cry for the moon, and she could manage for him
to have something short of that commodity. As
far as Jean was concerned, it was quite unnecessary
that he should know anything about her arrangements.
The blank look passed out of her eyes,
she opened her arms to him and he knelt beside
her, a child in her hands, trembling with distress
at his own temerity.
“Only trust me, Jean,” she whispered. “You
do trust me?”
“You won’t see him, Liane?”
“Selfish little boy, to please you then—no.”
Jean gave a long sigh of relief. Where was
his hatred now? His bitter antagonism? that
feeling in his heart of remorseless hardness? It
seemed impossible that they had ever existed and
incredible that they should ever exist again; but
even now they were only hidden, like the sharp
teeth of rocks covered for the moment by the
rush of the incoming tide.
Liane carried out a suitable arrangement, and
Jean believed that she had obeyed him; it made
him extraordinarily humble and tender with her;
he could not do enough to show his gratitude; and
Liane was not always easy to serve, she required
so much and she had a most terrible temper. Jean
set himself to please her with an almost feminine
gentleness and tact. He did not ask from her
refined sensibilities or quick perceptions. He
called her to himself a great artist, and he made
himself believe that this excused everything.
He was very young and he loved her, and the
young cannot love without the divine fire. They
must look for their vine to bring forth grapes, and
when it brings forth wild grapes they shut their
eyes.
They will believe in beauty though they must
go blind to keep their vision; they would rather
enter into the kingdom of heaven maimed than
know it is not the kingdom of heaven.
Jean persisted in believing in Liane in spite of
Liane, but sometimes she made it very hard for
him.
“There is still an arrangement we must make,”
she said to him one day. “I cannot have anyone
going about with me who is dressed like a piano-tuner.
You carry yourself well, it is true. You
have the good little air which says: ‘I own myself,’
but that is not enough when you are with me. It is
necessary that you show a great deal more importance,
you must, in short, look as if you owned me!
and for that, mon cher, you will require clothes.
I cannot put a placard on your back—‘I beseech
you, here is a man who is about to become a great
musician; refrain from regarding his cravat!’ And
I will not be seen with a nobody! In Paris it is
necessary to have a note, a tone, to express one’s
self in such a way that the world cannot readily
overlook you.”
Jean looked dogged, he did not wish to say he
was too poor. He had already been forced into
this confession rather frequently by Liane, who
never understood anything about money, except
that you spent it—yours or any one else’s—like
water, and that when it was finished you made
yourself excessively agreeable or disagreeable
(according to the requirements of the case) till
you were given more. There is more than one way
of paying for your fun, and since Jean’s pockets
were empty, he had had to pay for it lately with
his pride, and he had several times made a stand
about the price. He did not like supping here and
there and everywhere at enormous expense, for
which Liane paid; he did not like the invariable
use of the expensive motor, and Liane never walked
a step and never used anything else. He did not
like his position as the man who carried things,
shared things, bought things, and for none of
which his whole salary (he had just been started
on a hundred francs a month) would have covered
the tips for one busy night. Cravats and tie-pins
he had hardly seen his way to escape, but he drew
the line at a silk hat for the Opera, and a new suit,
and took the first opportunity during a short
afternoon’s shopping to say so.
Liane stared at him.
“Pourquoi, mon ami?” she said, in a voice of
toneless gentleness, which Jean had learned to
dread as the preliminary of a rising fury.
“Pourquoi pas?” And she went out of the
shop where she had turned over everything and
bought nothing—she was a difficult shopper—with
the air of a tragedy queen.
If she would only be angry, Jean thought he
might manage to keep the little golden coin of
his pride, but she wasn’t only angry. She was
angry at first, splendidly, furiously angry, till
she saw it was no use. Then she melted and
entreated Jean with that flexible, dramatic tenderness
which attacks all the weak places in a man’s
heart and tyrannizes over them; but still Jean
held out. She made him feel that he was a brute
and know that he was a fool, but he clung to his
pride and faced her with drawn lips and haggard
eyes.
“Please, please don’t tempt me, Liane,” he
pleaded. “I literally haven’t a penny except
some money, a very small sum, my mother left
me, which I have promised to keep intact for an
emergency. You don’t want me to use that?
I don’t even know if I legally can, and you certainly
can’t suppose that I will accept clothes from you.
It’s just like you to be generous enough to offer
anything you have, but it would be impossible for
me to take it. I know I’m not very smart, my
poor Liane, but try to put up with me as I am!
Perhaps I shall make something by playing soon,
and every bit of it shall go to a jeweller for you,
and a tailor for me; only have patience.”
Unfortunately Jean asked Liane for the quality
she most despised and least possessed.
“So you will not even do this one little thing
for me?” she said, gazing tragically in front of her.
“I would do anything in all the world for you,
Liane,” said Jean, his voice trembling, “but I
can’t take money!”
Liane flung her pathos from her as if it were an
old shoe.
“Bah!” she said. “That same old story, then!
The things a man will do for you! How often have
I not heard them! Hein! What are they, mon
ami? First, die for me! You would naturally put
this first, as it is the last thing I should ask of you!
It is true you could die for me in any old suit, but
how would it profit me? I am not a cannibal,
nor am I a murderer. I do not desire the death
of my friends! It would not contribute, this
sacrifice of yours, anything to my safety, my comfort
or my amusement! Anything! I again ask
you—will you give up your Bank for me? No!
You have already said that you cannot risk having
no profession. I do not know what you call ten
sous a month, but it appears that it may pass for
a profession. You cannot offer me money—you
have not got it. Talent? You will not use it.
Beauty? Your friend Maurice with his ox eyes,
his butcher’s moustache, his figure enlaced, presents
something better to the eye than you. What then?
Your wit? My poor Jean, you have just given me,
it seems, a specimen. Pardon me if I prefer my
own. You have not the sense to see that there
are only two things worth having—money and life—and
that one pays for the other! What can
you do for me, then? I will tell you. You can
take things when I want you to take them! But
that, it seems at present, you can only do when
you yourself want them! You are willing enough
to take my time, for example, and also what you
are so good as to call my charms? I introduce
you into the artist world, I lift you here, I lift you
there, I carry you about, I get myself even laughed
at. They say: ‘The good Liane has turned
nursemaid; behold how she trains her little one!’
I ask in return what? That you should not go
about with me in rags from a country village. No,
I do not care if the chauffeur hears or not—yes,
rags! Yes! I say a suit left over from the year
of your first Communion, and you say ‘No! this
I will not do; this goes too far; this risks too
much!’——”
“Liane,” entreated Jean. “The people on the
pavement, everyone is staring at us!” Liane was
enjoying herself. What if everyone was staring
at them? She preferred an audience. She did
not lower her tone at all as she continued:
“Mon ami, I am very reasonable. I am very
calm, I am quite patient, moi! I say only this—”
and she made a superb gesture with her hands
which took in half the Bois de Boulogne, through
which they were dashing at a magnificent pace,
“which of us two is it, then, who asks too much?”
Jean capitulated. He answered that he would
try and draw out the sum his mother had left for
the special emergency.
Liane became pacific; they would dismount,
she said, and take a stroll in the Bois, where they
would have tea—the whole world was out this
afternoon.
She did not at all mind what money Jean used,
the great thing was that they should both be well
dressed and that she should have what she wanted
without any dispute about it.
“Now, mon ami, are you happy?” she asked
Jean, with the acquired sublimity of the Liane smile
as she led the way under the sun-touched, wintry
trees of the Bois. Jean could not honestly say
that he was happy, but he was at least glad that
Liane should be so. Lately, he was beginning to
realize that the desire to appease her was taking the
place of finding in her his own tremendous joy.
Instead of rapture at the miracle of her presence
he felt relief if they succeeded in spending a peaceful
hour together; and once or twice he had not been
quite sure that the relief was due to the peace so
much as to the fact that the hour was over, and he
could go back once more to his stolen moments at
the piano, the only free ones of his life. He began
to think, too, more good-naturedly of Maurice,
and less—very much less—proudly of himself;
but he still thought that he loved Liane. It takes
a great deal to kill love, for after the glory of the
individual has faded, there still remains the inmost
unquenchable fire—the love of love. Perhaps it
would not be true to say that Jean still loved Liane.
She had very much disgusted and distressed him,
but she could still make him love love, and while
she could do that there was no real danger of his
escaping her.
CHAPTER IX
IT was the night of the presentation of Liane’s
new play. Jean sat down on a box in one of the
wings; he could see part of the sloping stage from
where he sat, and far up above him in the distance
the pale gleam of the footlights, with now and
then the graceful sweep of a woman’s dress.
He heard without listening to the words the
sound of Liane’s rich, penetrating voice; it did
not seem to him as sweet as usual. There was a
strange sense of fatigue and bitterness upon him
to-night, in the moments when he had time to
think, his life seemed cheap, he could not forgive
the world its failure to meet his passionate expectations.
It was not remorse that possessed him,
but the revolt of the soul against the senses, which
is sometimes more bitter even than remorse.
Had he reached the truth, he asked himself,
about Maurice? Surely Liane had kept her
promise not to see him again? But had she?
Did people in Liane’s world ever keep their
promises?
For the moment Jean shrank from asking her,
he dared not put his love to the test of her possible
treachery; it seemed to Jean like undermining
something already frail. He was sick of the great
foyer of the Odéon—everyone had business there
but himself. He had to stand aside while the
stage carpenters made their way here and there
in the busy scene-shifting foyer behind him,
pulling great planks forward, or manipulating
yards of rope with one hand while they pushed
the next scene’s furniture further forward with
the other. The supers hung about, giggling as
loud as they dared, and every now and then, one
of the more important artists swept in and out of
the distant dressing-rooms.
A voice sounded at Jean’s shoulder; it was
low, but pitilessly distinct and sharp, “Voyons
Selba,” it said, “we have gone through this before,
and I am telling you now for the last time, I cannot
employ an untrained voice here. It is not any
use for you to say you cannot afford to have it
trained; you have lived long enough in Paris to
know that is not true. There are Marcet and
Dubarras—have they not both made you offers?
Eh bien! accept, then, one of them. Accept, or
leave my company. I am giving you this one
more chance because there are qualities in your
voice that please; it is a pity, too, for so young a
girl to throw away a career. Go to Torialli or
Barrière and learn the new part. Do not dare
to come here again without an idea and stand up on
the stage like a charity-school girl saying her prayers!
“I tell you, my girl, this is Paris! This is a
theatre! You don’t come here to be prepared
for your first Communion. I do not care whom
it is, it is all one to me, Marcet or Dubarras, take
your choice. But you must have money, you
must have lessons. Now pull yourself together—there
is your first call—go!”
Jean recognized that it was the voice of Monsieur
Picot, the Régisseur of the Odéon. He turned
his head to see to whom the succinct advice had
been given, and saw just behind him the small
figure of what seemed to him to be a little child.
In another moment Jean saw that she was, after
all a grown-up young girl, but her obvious fear, her
tiny stature, the great fawn-like eyes, the freshness
and innocence of the round little face were astonishingly
out of place in the Odéon. She did not see
Jean. She looked over her shoulder at the
manager, who had turned his attention to a clumsy
scene shifter. “Mais Monsieur,” she whispered,
stammering and trembling, on the verge of tears.
Monsieur Picot turned his back and walked away.
A second sharp electric bell rang out her call, she
drew herself together, and hurried past Jean on
to the stage.
Jean leaned forward, excited and curious; who
was this little girl with her untouched bloom and
her frightened eyes?
He caught a glimpse of the huge stage and Liane
standing with easy majesty, her head bent low,
her smile fixed, heavily rouged and over-emphasized.
He could not see Margot Selba, but in a
moment he heard her; her voice rose against the
heavy background of light and heat, the thick
scents and the rich, dead gleam of jewelled stuffs,
like the voice of a bird when spring is young. It
seemed the only living thing in a dead world
to Jean. The tears came to his eyes as he listened,
good, honest tears, that washed away the bitter
sense of degradation from his heart. He felt
himself back in the country again, with the freedom
of the fields before him and the greater freedom of
his own unstained, innocent heart. The song
ceased, and Liane’s powerful voice took its place,
showy, flexible, practised. She did what she liked
with it and the scene before her, but it seemed
to Jean like the change from a hillside into a hothouse.
The girl crept back into the wings again;
no one took any notice of her; she found a corner
where an old box had been left by the scene-shifters,
and then she crouched down on it, burying her
face in her hands.
Jean moved quickly towards her.
“Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle,” he whispered,
“do not cry so, do not be distressed—tell me about
your troubles?”
The child lifted her head with a frightened
movement.
“It is nothing, it is nothing,” she muttered
between her trembling lips.
But Jean sat down on the box beside her, and
would not be denied. “It is not nothing,” he said
firmly, “that you are here in trouble and alone!
It is not nothing that you, who are no more than
a child, should be spoken to as I have heard
Monsieur Picot speak to you to-night. Mon Dieu!
I had no idea such infamies could go on here in
Paris! Mademoiselle, I implore you, trust me!
Speak to me, tell me what I can do for you, and
believe that is the only advantage I will take of
your confidence.”
“Help me, Monsieur?” asked Margot, sitting
up straight and regarding this strange young man
with wide-open, astonished eyes. “Why, what
should you do for me? Are you not a friend of
de Brances?”
Jean shook his head impatiently. “What
difference does that make?” he exclaimed. “Am
I not a man and an artist; do you suppose all
men are inhuman and monstrous like that crétin
who spoke to you just now? My poor child, I will
prove to you that all are not!”
“No, no,” said Margot quickly, “indeed I do
not think it. I know that you, Monsieur, are for
certain different. You have not seen me before,
perhaps, but I have seen you often; you are not like
the other gentlemen who come here and never
leave us alone. I have often wondered what you
came here for, but of course de Brances has many
friends who like to see her on the stage, some of
them may be—” Margot hesitated; it looked a little
ungracious to admit to a friend of de Brances that
some few of that lady’s intimates might behave
with tolerable decency behind her back!—“may
be artists,” she finished instead, “and that makes
always for a kind of sympathy.”
“I am a musician,” said Jean with emphasis.
“A musician,” echoed Margot very softly.
“And I am very poor,” Jean continued, “I am
a struggling artist!”
Jean announced this statement as if it were a
proclamation of ascent to the throne. He succeeded
in startling Margot, to whom, however, poverty did
not appear to have quite the same meritorious halo
that it wore to Jean’s less accustomed eyes. But
then Margot knew what real poverty meant.
“But that is a misfortune for Monsieur,” she said
gently.
“No, it is not,” replied Jean impatiently; “if I
were not poor I could not offer to help you, you
would very justly refuse me; but now I have a plan
that I think you will be willing to accept.”
Margot’s eyes grew rounder and rounder; she was
not quite sure that this strange and attractive
gentleman sitting on the box beside her was sane,
but she was quite sure that he was kind, and that
it was extraordinarily interesting to listen to him.
Margot thought he must be rather like an angel;
but it is possible that Margot would have felt uncertain
how practical an angel’s plan would be for Paris.
She knew her Paris, and she did not fancy that the
heavenly powers made much of a success there.
“Monsieur has a plan, then?” she murmured.
“I must explain myself,” said Jean, leaning
forward with intense excitement, and stabbing the
air with his forefinger. “I have said that I am a
musician! More than that, I am the only kind of
musician who can help you! When I came to Paris
six months ago I met Cartier. You must have
heard of him, his touch is famous in Paris—you’ll
have to know him—there is a man who has a soul
of gold! He gave me lessons for which he never
charged me a penny, and then he sent me out to
listen to all the best singers in Paris. He told me
to study a method of teaching, and how to
accompany the voice; he gave me introductions to
several singers, and I have already accompanied
Lucien le Page and Madame du Buissant. Enfin!
I have fitted myself to train a voice. That is what
you need, is it not? Very well then, I will give
up my Bank and train yours!”
“Pardon, Monsieur, your Bank?” exclaimed
Margot. “What Bank?”
“It is nothing,” said Jean, with great calmness.
“It happens to be my profession at the moment,
but I have been meaning to give it up for some
time. Now it is done! You will trust your voice
to me? You consider my plan good?”
Margot gasped. “But, Monsieur,” she said, “I
am not rich! I am not a Bank! I would gladly
let you train my voice if I could afford to pay you
for it; but alas, it is just there that your plan
breaks down.”
“Not at all,” said Jean impatiently. “If I make
your voice a success that will bring me into notice. It
is a bargain, it is purely business, I assure you. Money—what
is money? There will be no difficulty about
that—what I want is fame.”
“But, Monsieur, meanwhile you must live,”
expostulated Margot.
Jean looked annoyed; for a moment he was not
sure that Margot was really an artist.
“That will arrange itself,” he said indifferently;
“the great thing is we are agreed upon my plan?”
Margot hesitated, then she suggested a compromise;
if Jean really didn’t care about the money,
and since nothing would induce her to take up his
time and skill without some form of a return, would
he care to occupy her mother’s free room in their
little apartment which had just been vacated by
a theological student? It was really very convenient,
as they were so high up he could practise
as much as he liked. He would of course take the
room for nothing, and she would then feel free to
accept his lessons.
Still Margot urged him very forcibly not to give
up the Bank. She seemed to attach an absurd
importance to what Jean felt to be an overrated
institution. Jean was in the mood for renunciation,
and it seemed to him a small thing to burn
this particular boat; he was in the act of wishing
he could burn a larger one when Margot exclaimed:
“Ah! here comes Madame de Brances. O ciel!
What a splendid creature she is! Do you think
we are in her way?”
Jean did not answer Margot, he was looking at
Liane. Yes, there was no doubt that Liane looked
splendid. She was advancing towards them like
some stately Atlantic liner bearing down upon a
small sea tramp, serenely conscious of her powers.
She swept towards them, her lips set and her great
bisque-fringed eyes shining like figured Chinese
lanterns under the tightened rope of her marked
eyebrows. Jean glanced from one woman to the
other. Margot looked like an unformed child
beside Liane; she huddled a little awkwardly on
her wooden box, the colour going and coming in
her round cheeks. She had no weapons to match
the finished vision before her, nothing but the
honesty of her heart, and yet to Jean that one
small jewel outshone the whole golden argosy
bearing down relentlessly upon them. At least,
for the moment Jean thought it did. Meanwhile,
even in that moment of recognition, he slipped back
into the mire. Liane leaned forward a little as she
reached them; she seemed to gather Jean up and
hold him in her passionate deep eyes, those terrible
possessive eyes that knew how, not in vain, to slip
the snare of the fowler over the fluttering bird.
“Allons, Jean, viens-tu!” she whispered in her
tenderest voice, as soft and sweet as honey in the
south. She did not look at Margot at all, but she
had seen her.
Jean turned and followed her without a word.
CHAPTER X
THE trouble with keeping a cat in the bag is
that, however good it may be for the cat,
it is seldom good for the bag, and the less accustomed
the cat is to this method of confinement,
the worse it will be for the case containing it.
Liane was not in the habit of muzzling her temper;
on the contrary, she asked nothing better than a
tolerably good opportunity for letting it fly. To-night,
however, she had kept her temper admirably,
first, when Jean had appeared pre-occupied on the
way to the theatre, and secondly, on the stage when
her familiar presence was greeted with less applause
than Margot’s little song. She had made up her
mind instantly that the song must go; but she had
not allowed any hint of the intention to appear.
The song could easily be cut, and once it was cut,
she would keep no grudge against the absurdly
fresh-looking little person who sang it. But Margot
Selba humbly retiring from her part and Margot
sitting on a box with Jean were two different
persons. One needed chastening and the other
called for annihilation. The cat could bear it no
longer, it tore its way out of the bag.
The first creature that it came across under these
circumstances was sure, of course, to get the worst
of it—an enraged animal strikes at what is nearest.
In this case it happened to be Jean, and not Margot.
Liane reached her dressing-room in solemn silence;
she looked at the watch on her wrist and saw that
she had half an hour. Then she turned on Jean.
“Never speak to that girl again!” she cried
fiercely. “Do you suppose I bring you here
with me to make love to a cabotine behind my
back?”
Jean drew back in anger. So this was what he
got for sacrificing the first decent feeling he had
had for an age! He had given up his happy little
moment of virtue simply to have Liane fly in his
face! He put on the air of a hard man of the
world; he felt a rebuffed boy.
“Really, Liane,” he said, making a pretence of
lighting a cigarette; “one would suppose you
had no discrimination. Can’t you see I was merely
being polite to a little girl who sang well?”
Liane flung off her Cleopatra robe and began
making-up for a fresh scene, while she tossed her
words at Jean over her shoulder.
“A pretty fool you must think I am!” she said
disdainfully. “You were being polite to a girl who
sang well, were you? One would suppose you had
been calling on a jeune fille of the provinces to hear
you! No, no! my friend! this is a theatre and
that girl there is a cabotine—a pinch of dust—a
little worm under my foot! Sing well indeed!
What next? They will have crows for Opera
before you hear Selba on these boards again! You
suppose yourself to be a musician already, it seems,
and you are not, you are nothing! I take you
away from your cows in the country, I lift you to
an honour many men would perish for, yes, and have
perished for in vain! and I have to see you in my
own theatre treating a woman of my position to
the very last indignity—the very last, I would have
you know, Jean, that a woman of my spirit will
put up with. Selba indeed!” She flung her
powder-puff across the room, and touched up her
left eyebrow in a dramatic but carefully measured
fury.
Jean felt sick. He did not believe in all this
nonsense about Selba; he felt instead the sharp
return of his former doubt—had she kept her
promise about Golaud?
It was not the most auspicious moment to ask
her, and yet the pressure of the unendurable was
upon him. He felt himself boxed up with a lie;
there was not one word of reality in Liane; she
was a splendid vision as she sat there facing the
mirror, but her very beauty seemed to set his
teeth on edge. Was not this false too, upheld
by the paraphernalia of little boxes and paintbrushes,
of long, fine coils of false hair, without any
of that tender natural grace which had not been
enough to keep him by Margot’s side a few minutes
ago? He was ashamed of himself. He paced to
and fro in the tiny, hot little room and thought
of all his fine principles with a fierce disgust.
“Eh bien!” said Liane. “Have you nothing
to say for yourself; are you dumb as well as blind?
You could talk well enough, it appears, to that
piece of rubbish downstairs.”
“Liane,” he jerked at her quickly. “Have
you seen Golaud again?”
Liane stared at him.
“What?” she said, twisting a pearl net in and
out of her hair. “So you think to get out of it
that way, do you? Seen him again? Of course
I have seen him again, and why not, I should like
to know! What do you stare at me like that
for, with your mouth open and your face white,
like a foiled villain in the fourth act who sees his
wife’s ghost? I told you once before I was not
a nun. I see whom I please, I do what I like—and
I amuse myself! I like you when you are
good, because you are poor and an artist. I like
Maurice Golaud because he is rich and not an
artist. He does not object to you; why should
you object to him?”
“But, Liane, your promise!” cried Jean. He
was terribly shaken, the world seemed to be falling
to pieces about him. Where was this dream that
he had thought so magnificent a mystery? this
romance to which he had dedicated himself as a
worshipper at a shrine? His romance was a
pricked bubble, the thing he worshipped a monstrous
farce.
Some of these thoughts with their roused horror
and disgust struck at Liane out of his expressive
eyes. They made her angrier than ever; she
should have received gratitude, and she felt reproach.
That he should dare to reproach her when she
had been so good to him! She almost shrieked
at him in reply.
“You are an insect!” she cried, “a bit of dust!
a scrub! I snap my fingers in your face, I despise
you! Let me tell you that I have had enough of
this folly; never speak to me of Golaud again,
and if I find you with this woman Selba, you leave
me for ever!”
“That is an ultimatum,” said Jean very quietly.
“Your words to-night have given me no choice,
Liane, except to take it. I except your dismissal,
then; I go.”
This was not what Liane had meant at all.
She had no intention of dismissing Jean. A woman
can hold a proud man only so long as he is unaware
that he is being held. Liane had made the mistake
to-night of showing Jean that she considered his
liberty was in her hands. It set the last touch
to his freedom. Passion, which had been her tool,
became his weapon, it entered into his natural
distaste for her, and it turned his emotion into
cold hate.
He thrust his chin forward a little and looked
at her with half-closed eyes. She saw what she
had done, and she trembled a little, for she was
by no means tired of Jean. The end would come,
of course, but it was impossible that it should come
from him; this was an outrage to her pride which
she could not suffer. She appealed to his heart,
which she knew to be tender, but in doing so
she overlooked the fact that the cold water she had
flung on his passion had frozen his heart to silence.
“Mon petit!” she said gently. “We must
not speak to each other like this, must we? I
am tired to-night, forgive me. You know you
are precious to me. Let us turn away from words.
I do not talk very well, I know, Jean.”
Jean still looked at her with imperturbable,
cold eyes. Thwarted passion makes a woman
mean, it makes a man cruel. Jean felt very
cruelly towards Liane; for the first time he realized
that she was thirty-five. “She is already an old
woman,” he said to himself. “I am a young
man; soon she will grow fat.” He was ashamed
of himself for thinking this, but he could not stop
his thoughts; they came to him with the lucidity
of reason stripped of glamour.
Liane saw the look in his eyes; it almost
frightened her. It was as if his thoughts had
become a tangible presence, and she seemed in
her own heart to hear the echo: “You are
growing old.” She closed her eyes for a moment,
the taste of life was bitter on her lips. Age was
her arch terror; once it had clutched her, there
would be no release, her world would be dead, and
she would be a creature without power, sick with
her own insignificance!
Then she played her last card and it was a very
good one. She rose with infinite grace and dignity
and her most touching smile.
“Do not kiss me to-night, my friend,” she said.
“Our spirits are not near enough to each other.”
It was the most unfortunate reference she could
possibly have made.
“Our spirits!” said Jean, and his lips curled.
When had their spirits ever been near each other?
It was horrible for him to think how far. The lie
was an abomination to him, and he was quite merciless
to Liane, as only youth, ignorant and powerful,
can be merciless. He looked her full in the eyes
and shrugged his shoulders very slightly.
“You do me too much honour, Madame,” he
said. “I had not the intention of kissing you!”
In a moment he was ashamed of himself; the
colour rushed into his face, he would have given
anything to recall his words.
Liane had looked so bewildered and so hurt:
her eyes fell on the innumerable little silver boxes
before the looking-glass; they wandered listlessly,
as if she were looking for something she had forgotten.
She drew her breath painfully, it fought
in her throat like a wild thing imprisoned. Jean
had hurt her cruelly, and Liane was not easily hurt;
only the sight of her own face in the glass behind
Jean saved her from hysterics. It was magnificent,
she had never equalled it on the stage. The relief
was immense: the dresser entered, bringing back
to her the full sense of her own importance.
“But Madame is a wonder to-night—she has
veritably the look of a great queen, has she not,
Monsieur?” exclaimed the quick little dresser, who
saw at once that something was wrong, and guessed
that flattery could put it right. “Never have I
seen Madame in such form; I think these pearls
suit her—here is the cloak of Madame, and the
scarlet slippers. Yes, and if Monsieur will just
hand me the powder-puff on the floor—a million
thanks, Monsieur! Madame has just a little—a
little too much colour. Voilà, Madame, c’est tout,
vous y êtes!”
It was quite impossible that this obscure young
man should cease to care for Liane. Her fears
had been absurd, it was only a momentary madness
of the estranged senses; she had spoken very
roughly to him, she remembered. She looked at
him gravely for a moment, his head was bent, he
was frowning, and he looked young and awkward—a
mere shaken boy.
“We will not part like this to-night, mon petit,”
she murmured with caressing gentleness. “Wait
for me as usual, only this I think I have the right
to ask you; do not again speak to that silly little
nobody, the daughter of a washerwoman, who sings
out of tune,” and Liane laughed contemptuously.
That, after all, was the right way to treat the
situation.
It was perhaps the right way, but Liane had lost
sight of the fact that the right way used too late
has much the same effect as the wrong way. Her
eyes held Jean’s for a moment; she did not quite
understand the look in his, but she had no time
left for explanation.
He bowed, and went straight back to Margot.
CHAPTER XI
MARGOT woke next morning to a premonition
of disaster. She had foreseen that she
might lose her job last night; but this morning
she realized it, which is quite a different affair.
The evening before, life had seemed very large
and golden, with plenty of opportunity for heroism
on a grand scale, and without the practical peril of
misfortune. She had felt the keen thrill of danger
before it had lasted long enough to attack the
nerves. But the hour of sleep had robbed her
of her gaiety of heart. Even the treasures of which it
was her wont to take stock every morning ceased
to-day to give her any moral reassurance.
The little room which Margot shared with her
mother always filled her with a sense of pride and
protection. It held all the substantial remnants
of Madame Selba’s country furniture. It contained
an immense bureau, four looking-glasses, and three
gilt clocks. None of the clocks would go, to be
sure, but one on a handsome blue mat on the mantelpiece
was surmounted by a dome of glass and flanked
with terra cotta vases filled with artificial flowers.
It was a magnificent affair and had been presented
to Monsieur Selba on his having passed ten years
in one particular firm. The other two clocks had
been gifts to Madame Selba on her marriage, but
the mere fact of the ceremony had appeared to
startle them to such an extent that they had never
given a tick since. Still they were undoubtedly
extremely handsome, and there was room for one
on the window-sill, and for the other upon a bracket
above the washstand.
There was a crucifix and a prie-Dieu, given to
Margot by her school friends at the Convent which
in her luxurious youth she had attended for two
unforgettable years, and she herself had bought
the holy-water stoup which hung above it, upheld
by two slightly irrelevant angels a little loose of
wing, out of her first earnings. There was a linnet’s
cage in the window, built in the shape of a palace,
a present to Margot from a young ironmonger, a
man in a social position so inferior to her own
that she had had to discourage him; he had such
nice curly hair, too! But she had prayed for him,
and she always took peculiar care of the birdcage.
The bird had died and she had not been able to
afford another one. She looked at it with some
impatience this morning: “Moi, je trouve que
c’est déplacé,” she said to herself as she got up.
She cast an eye almost depreciatingly upon the
heirloom of Madame Selba’s heart; this was a
superb bedstead with brass knobs and a spring
mattress, a bed which had struck the concierge’s
wife with envy and was by no means the secret
pride of Madame Selba’s existence.
“You can figure to yourself,” she used to say,
“when you look at that bedstead, that there was
a time in my life when I wanted for nothing.”
Margot had to keep the room very tidy, or else
there would not have been much room to move
about; the bureau and the bed between them
having rather the air of two prize-fighters getting
ready to be at each other’s throat and only prevented
from carrying out this intention by a small
strip of rag carpet and a cane chair. Mother and
daughter could not by any possible means have
dressed at the same time, but that hardly mattered,
as Margot got up early to make her mother’s coffee
and went to bed late because of the theatre.
You could see twenty-seven chimney-pots out
of the window, and by sticking your neck at an
uncomfortable angle you could catch a distant
view of some green trees not half a mile away.
It was, as Margot used to say, when she felt homesick
for open fields and a wide sky, almost like
the country. Madame Selba preferred a view of
the street, but that she could get from the window
of the living-room. There was a handsome public
house opposite.
Madame Selba united two passions with equal
ardour, a passion for Margot’s success, and a
passion for brandy; that the two passions might
occasionally conflict did not appear to occur to
her; but she found it was more practical to work
for the second and to dream of the first. In her
way, Madame Selba was an idealist.
Margot loved her mother deeply, because she
was her mother, and it never occurred to Margot
not to love her, because she had always taken
care of her, and because it was Margot’s nature
to love.
“What I should do without Mother!” she had
often said to herself; sometimes people said this
for her, but with a different meaning.
Madame Selba was a stout woman, who ate
heartily; she had never been able to work. She
referred vaguely sometimes to internal troubles.
Margot said, “Mother must be very careful not
to overdo herself,” but no one except Margot ever
felt it necessary to urge this caution upon her.
This morning everything had a most dreary
and unreal air (for Margot felt it extremely unusual
not to be cheerful); even Madame Selba, sleeping
heavily upon the pillow with at least three-fourths
of the blanket wrapped about her substantial
form, appeared slightly unattractive. A dreadful
idea occurred to Margot—suppose that Jean should
not admire her mother! She reproached herself
for thinking it possible, but she did think it possible.
“I wonder if I should have made that arrangement
with him,” thought Margot as she prepared
the coffee. “In the long run I shall make more,
of course, but meanwhile we shall be hard up.
I must be more careful, that is all. It is an extravagance
this taking of trams; from henceforth
I will walk to the theatre, and I will not buy a
new hat.” Margot sighed; to buy the new hat
would have been flying in the face of Providence,
but not to buy it was to fly even more relentlessly
in the face of pleasure; and Providence might
not have minded as much as Margot.
She tried to sing over the coffee, and she kissed
her mother’s very large and rather unappetizing
cheek with the heartiness of inveterate affection;
and then, with sheer terror in her heart struggling
against the dauntless courage of youth, Margot
set off to the theatre.
It was an icy winter morning, and it is doubtful
what would have happened to her courage if she
had not fortified it by an imprudence. On her
way she passed a flower-seller and bought a bunch
of violets. It was an imprudence, as she confessed
to herself, but like many other imprudences it
really looked very well, and it gave her a sense
of defiance. If she was to have her head cut off,
she would at least appear at her best for the
execution.
There was a sense of quickened suspense in the
very atmosphere of the Odéon. The great empty
theatre resounded to the angry explosions of
Monsieur Picot, the Stage Manager; the retreating
charwomen with dirty buckets almost hurried
to get out of his way. The gathered artists in
the wings or on the stage seemed dipped in whispering
gloom. They were all waiting, it appeared,
for Liane, and Liane was late.
Monsieur Picot looked at Margot morosely—she
had really done well the night before, several people
had congratulated him about it. It did not occur
to him to repeat the congratulations; he merely
remarked that he supposed she thought he liked
wasting his time, for the pleasure of seeing how
late feather-headed nincompoops cared to be!
She was mistaken if she thought so, because he held
everybody to witness that he did not! Everybody
had been witnessing it for half an hour and knew
in addition that Margot was not wanted till the fourth
act, which was not timed to take place for another
hour but there was a general assent, and everyone
cast looks of scandalized indignation upon
Margot.
Then Liane arrived. It at once became obvious
that the morning’s work, if it took place at all, would
hardly be pleasant.
Liane had a peculiar strained and nervous look
in her face, like that of a horse laying back its ears
preparatory to kicking the trap to pieces. The
manager rubbed his hands together and his back
cringed with precautionary amiability. He did
not dare reproach Liane for being late, so he scolded
the whole of the rest of the company, who had been
early.
“Now, perhaps, since you are at last ready,
you set of wooden-heads!” he observed with bitter
scorn, “you will no longer trespass upon the
patience of Madame!”
Liane raised her head and drew back her lips as
if she were smiling.
“First I must ask permission for a few words
with Monsieur le Régisseur,” she said, with terrible
humility. Monsieur Picot shook in his shoes; he
begged his chère Madame to do him the great kindness
of waiting until after the rehearsal.
“Until we have those few words there can be
no rehearsal, Monsieur,” she replied, still in the
deadly undertone of controlled rage.
The Manager gave himself up for lost.
“Madame!” he said, and bowed the way into
his office. The rest of the company looked at each
other and at Margot. They had never liked Margot,
her manner of life disgusted them. A fille de
théâtre should behave like a fille de théâtre and not
like a fille du monde; surely the profession was
hard enough without that clumsy addition!
Within the Manager’s small office, Liane addressed
herself to the mirror and put an ostrich feather
straight; she was never more terrible than when
she was arranging her appearance.
“Bon!” she said. “You will have the kindness,
Monsieur Picot, to instantly dismiss the little one
who sang last night! her song is not necessary to
the play that is now on, and her taking any part in
the new piece is quite out of the question. I don’t
know her name; her voice is execrable, she puts me
out.”
Monsieur Picot shook his head.
“But, Madame,” he said persuasively, “I am
simply desolated if she has displeased you, this
little Selba; to tell the truth, I do not find that she
sings so badly. We cannot all have the charm of a
De Brances. But you are fatigued this morning.
Sit down for a few moments, try this armchair,
a cigarette Non? Ah! I find them such a
rest for the nerves! Your triumph last night, now
that was a sensation! In all probability you suffer
this morning from a reaction. Ah! you geniuses!
All alike, all alike! You conquer the world, but
that is not enough for you, if you fail to find yourself
amused next morning!”
Liane sat down, but she kept tapping her foot
and playing with her muff during the manager’s
speech; at the end of it she breathed quickly.
“A thousand thanks, Monsieur,” she said. “I
repeat, I cannot continue to play a part subject to
such interruptions from a cat that squalls, a toneless
vegetable, a dreadful gauche, clumsy little
insect!”
“Ah, we must arrange something,” said the
manager soothingly. “Yes, yes, we must make a
little alteration. I think you only come in together
during the fourth act, before you wind up that
magnificent scene of yours under the pyramid.
The voice is that of the little Circassian slave,
which reminds the princess of her youth. Ah, yes!
I thought it went very well last night. I might tell
Selba to sing just a little more slowly, perhaps.
You find the tune too light, too gay? A suggestion
of the Princess’s tragedy, hein? Madame has
always such talent for les nuances. One cannot
expect a young girl like Selba to make the most of
her part. They are as ignorant as fleas, these
young girls, all of them! It must often appal the
creative genius of Madame!”
“Mon Dieu!” said Liane, with a brusque movement
of her whole body. “It is useless that you
should try to put me off! You enrage me with
your stale compliments! Make them to this
season’s ingénue, not to Liane de Brances! You
have heard what I have to say; nor am I alone in
saying it. I do not come before you with personal
complaints, I speak always for the good of the
theatre.”
“The consideration of Madame touches me to the
heart,” murmured Monsieur Picot, who detested
her. Liane gave him a baleful look and swept on
with her speech.
“It is possible that you have some respect for
the opinions of Manet of the Comœdia, and
Danton from the Journal; they took supper
with me last night, they were trembling with rage.
‘Madame,’ they said, ‘that little one distracts the
part. The song is an intrusion—it is a thing behind
the age, totally unworthy of the Odéon and of you!
It is an atrocious blunder, an infamy!’ I have
only this to ask you, Monsieur Picot, am I to be
exposed to the blunders of underlings in this
theatre? If so, let me know it at once. I suppose
there are possibly other theatres in Paris where the
name of Liane de Brances is not utterly unknown,
nor her capacities entirely despised.”
Monsieur Picot turned sulky; no man likes to
hear his flattery taken for what it is worth, especially
if it is worth nothing, and no Parisian
manager will bear to be spoken of as old-fashioned.
“Voyons, De Brances,” he snarled viciously,
entirely dropping his voice of oil and honey.
“There are such things as contracts, I would
have you remember!”
Liane rose from her seat with a magnificent
gesture of scorn.
“You appear to forget,” she said, “that for
the new play I am en représentation, and that
the present one runs, I think I am not wrong in
saying, for ten nights longer. I have not as yet
signed the contract for this fresh play. I wish
you all success in it! No doubt Marguérite la
Vaillance will make her name and yours in the
principal part. She will render you famous, parbleu,
that fine, fat, forty-year-old hack! It remains
only that I felicitate you, Monsieur. I take pleasure
in doing so before the public, who will, without
doubt, be swift to follow my example.”
Monsieur Picot wrung his hands in a confusion
of rage and terror. How he would have loved it
to have been the neck of the brutally indispensable
woman before him! He had never dealt with any
actress so insolent, so jealous, so terrifically shrewd
about business! She had none of the pleasant
failings of the real artist; only success, a success
that reduced him, cowering and malignant, to any
terms, even her own.
“Madame!” he cried, as Liane swept past
him towards the door, “pray do not let us part
like this. You know well that Marguérite la
Vaillance is incapable, or any other actress in
Paris, of undertaking a part written especially
for you! As to this affair of little Selba’s song,
it is true I should regret greatly having to dismiss
her. I tell you frankly she will get a better place
elsewhere if I do. She has a voice like a little
country bird, and in Paris just now they have a
rage for simplicity. Of course, if it is your wish
to push her into notice, I say no more. But you
know, De Brances, as well as I do that it is just
these little things—a dismissal on the heels of a
success, a story of jealousy and revenge, that send
the public wild about an actress. If Selba succeeds
after I send her away, she will owe her success
to you! Voilà tout!” And the diplomatic
Manager, certain of his triumph, shrugged his
shoulders. Liane hesitated.
“No one who knows me could suppose me
capable of jealousy,” she said, in a disturbed voice.
The manager’s eyelids fluttered; he bowed.
“Still,” she continued, with more determination,—then
the door opened, and Margot herself
appeared. Monsieur Moncet, the jeune premier,
had sent her to ask Monsieur Picot to begin the
rehearsal, as he had an urgent appointment to
keep and had waited an hour already.
It is a curious thing that the more depraved
and cold-hearted human beings are, the more
passionately sentimental they become. Liane was
incorrigibly sentimental, and Margot owed her
dismissal entirely to the bunch of violets. It
had been Jean’s custom to present Liane with
violets every day, and for Jean’s sake Liane had
temporarily thrust aside all the more expensive
tributes which besieged her door. She drew back
for a moment like a creature about to spring,
then she rushed forward on to the middle of the
stage.
“Dismiss that girl!” she shrieked to the
Manager over her shoulder. “What!” she cried,
turning on the company. “Am I to be badgered
and interrupted in private conversations by the
off-scourings of the theatre? Has it come to
this, that not a rehearsal can be conducted in
a decent manner so as to suit the convenience of
the leading lady, only too patient, only too
submissive to the whims of a troupe of dancing
marionettes? Monsieur Moncet, you have a very
important engagement to keep, I hear? Do not
let us detain you! Pleasure before duty is the
rule of this company! It would be perhaps
a trifle more convenable, Monsieur, if you refrained
from sending one of your young women to interrupt
private interviews, with which your affairs—however
pressing—have nothing whatever to do!
What, Marie Hauteville, you are amused!”
“Madame! Madame! je vous en prie!” wailed
the manager. Liane waved him contemptuously
aside.
“Mademoiselle Hauteville is amused!” she
went on, with terrific irony. “Let the whole
theatre wait, then, until she has digested her joke.
What is the rehearsal of a new play compared
to the inimitable humour of Mademoiselle? Cat!
Daughter of the devil! Spot of infamy! It is
a joke, then, that I am bullied, betrayed, infuriated
by this canaille of a company! Oh, yes!” shrieked
Liane, her irony breaking into wild invective, “it
is very amusing, very!” And she collapsed with
a scream of rage into the nearest chair.
“I should like to know what I have done to
justify Madame’s attack,” said Marie Hauteville
wrathfully. “I have not taken away any of her
admirers! Thank Heaven, I have no need to
adopt enfants from the country.”
“Mademoiselle, taisez-vous!” shrieked the
Manager, shaking his fist in her face.
Liane sprang to her feet.
“What does she say?” she cried. “Is she about
to give us a list of her admirers? I beseech you,
let us listen. It will not take long!”
“Malheur!” moaned the manager, burying his
face in his hands.
“Is this a rehearsal?” shouted the jeune premier
“or is it Pandemonium?”
“It is what you make it,” flashed Liane, turning
swiftly upon him, “with your cabotine messengers
and your little affaires de cœur, which you cannot
keep to yourself, it seems, but desire to intrude upon
women of reputation!”
“Et quelle réputation!” murmured Marie Hauteville,
who had found her voice.
“I will not stay here to be insulted,” said Moncet,
who had been burning to get away for the last
half hour. “Mademoiselle Hauteville, allow me
to suggest that you follow my example. Madame
de Brances is suffering from losses; she is not herself
this morning.”
“Go, both of you!” said Liane, with a superb
gesture of dismissal. “You are not wasted upon
each other.”
The manager raised his head from his hands.
“There will be no rehearsal this morning,” he
announced coldly. “To-night at half-past eleven,
please, without fail.”
Then Liane turned to Margot; she felt all the
resistless hunger of the vulgar and violent to wreak
their spite visibly upon their victim.
“It appears,” said Liane, regarding her slowly
from head to foot, “that you are to go. It will
be a lesson for you, perhaps; a girl like you, with
her way to make, should at least study to appear
respectable.”
“From Madame such a warning has special
significance,” said Margot quietly. She had been
sick with fright through the loud scene which had
followed her unfortunate message, but when she
saw she was herself to bear the brunt of Liane’s
fury, all fear left her.
Liane drew her lips back from her shining white
teeth; they looked long and savage like a wolf’s.
“It is not you alone who will find the significance,
ma fille,” she hissed. “Run and tell your silly
little Baron that he shall not forget he has lost a
friend and found an enemy.”
Margot put out her hands suddenly, as if something
precious which she held near her heart had been
assailed. Had she then brought trouble upon
Jean? Liane laughed. It was a horrible laugh;
it made several people who had not particularly
kind hearts feel quite uncomfortable.
As for the Manager, he was so uncomfortable,
that when he dismissed Margot he gave her a
hundred francs more than was due to her. Jean
scolded her seriously for taking it. He said she
should have had more pride; he had such an heroic
way of looking at things. He did not know that
when Margot had taken the money she had been
thinking that she could feed him up very nicely
on that without depriving her mother of anything.
If he had known, he would have been more angry
still.
Margot was very unhappy, because she was afraid
that Jean despised her, but she did not return the
hundred francs as he suggested. She preferred that
Jean should despise her, than that he should go
without extras for his meals. There was nothing
at all heroic about Margot!
CHAPTER XII
JEAN felt no delight at having given up Liane,
nor more than a passing flicker of gratified
self-esteem at giving up the Bank. He waited
with hostile eagerness for the expostulation which
he expected would follow; but when no expostulations
took place, he deeply resented his immunity
from interference. When you have burned your
ships it is only natural that you should wish to see
someone watching the flames; unfortunately for
Jean, no one seemed to notice that there were any.
The Director made no reply to Jean’s announcement,
and the Comte D’Ucelles went on preserving the
sanctity of the home and disregarding the
obligations of relationship, with his usual nonchalance.
Jean found himself left to conquer Paris entirely
in his own way. His freedom, was limitless and he
could satisfy his craving for music all day long.
The only trouble was that he hated his freedom now
that he had it, and he seemed to have entirely lost
his craving for music.
He had made a desert, and he could not even
begin to call it peace.
Liane sacrificed was Liane present, and the
presence of Liane crowded out every other possibility.
Everywhere Jean saw her face, not Liane’s
face as he had last seen it with the cruel, narrow
eyes and the cutting oblivion of her stare, but
Liane’s face as it looked out of her picture with
the strange entrancing smile, Liane’s eyes as they
melted into his, and all the miserable memories of
his happy, passionate hours!
Jean began to discover that it was not very easy
to give anyone up. He had always considered
memory a pleasant faculty belonging to the old; he
found now that it was a relentless spirit which pursued
the flying soul even of the young. They would
not let him go, those cruel hours of joy; they came
back upon him pure from the clumsy touch of
reality, refined by his own imagination, vivid as
visions only can be vivid, in anticipation or in
memory. He tried hard to reason with himself,
to urge that Liane had never been as beautiful
as that, never so tender, and never for a moment
half so true; but passion with delirious eyes and
empty hands pushed him into perilous falsehoods,
and dazzled him with wild desires.
He felt incredibly bitter cravings for the sight
and touch of Liane. What freedom does a dog
desire who has lost its master? and what music
was left in a world so empty of delight? And
Liane was not only a woman, she was a life; she
had dragged him from the sordid sadness of his
poor room; she had given him his first taste of
luxury and the natural love of living as his own
class lived, hours full of beauty, and within reach
of their own satisfaction.
He had lost Liane, and he had lost through
Liane everything else; was it any wonder that
he cursed himself for his incredible folly, kicked
his piano, and looked at Margot with hostile, vindictive
eyes?
Margot lived in three badly-furnished rooms
on a sixième étage. There was the kitchen, sitting-room,
dining-room, all in one. It was filled with
crude attempts at a useless prettiness and pervaded
by an odour of perpetual cooking. Leading out
of it was her bedroom and her mother’s, from which
there came the unwholesome smell of one of
Madame’s hidden bottles. Jean’s room across
the passage was furnished with Spartan simplicity,
but irritatingly full of Margot’s desire to please
him, which took the form of religious pictures
and many superfluous small pieces of embroidery.
He would gladly, he assured himself, have borne
with poverty—he had simple tastes—if only there
had been some escape, some world of sympathy
and thought into which he could step down as
into a stream, and refresh his parched and jaded
soul. But there was no such stream, there was
only Margot’s sitting-room.
In the first moment of his new life, Jean had received
two disagreeable shocks. Margot’s mother
was one; how could he have expected Margot’s
mother to be like that?
Somehow or other he had fancied Margot’s
mother to be an older edition of Margot, a creature
aged and softened by time; he was more inclined
now to think that Margot was merely a younger
edition of her mother, temporarily consecrated
by the freshness of her youth; he was, of course,
wholly unjust in both surmises. Then he was
very naturally shocked and horrified at Margot’s
dismissal from the theatre. It was an inconceivable
and disgusting incident; it looked almost
as if he had caused it; it certainly put him under
an obligation to the girl. The worst of it was
that he saw no way at present of compensating
her for the sacrifice (he meant freeing himself from
the obligation, but the other way of putting it
sounded better). So that he was naturally
extremely annoyed with Margot, and ready to
quarrel on the first provocation.
“Do you know I have been here three days,
and I have not yet given you a lesson?” he
observed sternly, one wet morning on which he
saw that he must practise, or else face the fact
that he hadn’t a career at all. Margot was ironing
a tablecloth and her mother was sleeping out,
with a systematic zeal which crept through the
wall, an unfortunate meeting with a too generous
friend the evening before.
“It takes time to settle in,” ventured Margot,
looking up from her ironing.
“Of course, if you do not wish for one,” began
Jean with great dignity.
“But I do!” cried Margot with immense eagerness
and no dignity at all.
“You might, then,” said Jean reproachfully
“have said so before.”
Margot hung her head penitently and began
to fold up the tablecloth; she hadn’t finished
it, but she saw Jean was not in the mood to be
kept waiting.
“I think you had better bring your music to
my room,” he said, after a pause. “We might
disturb your mother.”
Margot flushed. She had not expected Jean to
like her mother, but she had hoped that she would
not have to see quite so plainly how much he didn’t.
“Very well,” she said simply. She was dressed
neatly and prettily, as she always was, and her
hair curled over her fresh white forehead; her
cheeks were a little less rosy and round, and her
eyes looked larger—but this was becoming to her
rather than otherwise, and it was perhaps unnecessary
for Jean to compare her mentally to Liane,
wholly to Margot’s disadvantage.
The truth was that Jean wished to be fascinated
by women, not to be mothered by them, and
though Margot did try very hard to please him,
she did so intermittently and without calculation,
because the desire of her heart was to do and be
what was best for him; and that was hardly
the kind of thing that a man of Jean’s age could
be expected to appreciate. Even as Margot
followed him into his room her whole being was
absorbed in the consideration of how to cook eggs
à l’aurore for déjeuner. It was Friday, and Jean
had said he hated plain eggs. For three days
she had been on tip-toe with desire and expectation
for this lesson, and now she was hopelessly absorbed
in eggs! She looked at Jean with unintelligent
eyes; tomato sauce was so expensive, would not
a dash of vinegar in thick brown gravy do as well?
“Mademoiselle,” said Jean, with awful calm,
“is this what you call your music?”
“O ciel!” cried Margot in horror, throwing
her hands above her head. It was the cookery
book; they neither of them laughed!
When she returned with her songs, Jean took
out a cigarette and looked through them with
critical eyes.
“Bah!” he exclaimed. “Haven’t you anything
better than these?”
Margot had, after all, some spirit; she did not like
Jean’s tone of contempt, and she thought he should
have asked her leave to smoke. She was far more
particular about such things than Liane.
“Music is not very cheap, Monsieur,” she said,
a little sharply. Jean shrugged his shoulders.
“Good music is, however, cheaper than bad,”
he said indifferently.
“Not unless you are paid to sing it,” replied
Margot, with admirable common sense. Common
sense is a quality all women who desire to please
should learn to avoid, or at least conceal; they may
use it in their private judgments, but it should never
be allowed to appear in their conversation. It
annoyed Jean extremely.
“Allons!” he said; “commencez donc!” And
he pushed all the music on to the floor and began
to play scales.
Margot was disappointed, she did not wish to
sing scales; her mind returned to the eggs. Did
he, she wondered, like them lightly cooked?
“Mademoiselle,” said Jean turning round on the
music-stool. “What are you doing with these
notes?”
Margot blushed guiltily.
“A note,” said Jean severely, “has a middle, a
beginning, and an end. It is not a ghost, that you
can run over it without disaster. Strike the middle
of the note with your full voice, I entreat; you are
fumbling and creeping up to it, and then when I
expect it to come out—voilà!—you have swallowed
it completely, there is nothing left to come. Try
these arpeggios now. Attendez!”
Margot shut her eyes and drew frowning brows
together to show how hard she was trying. Jean
looked very cross this morning. He had not slept
well and his conscience had worn his nerves to
threads; having done the best he could, he felt
terribly guilty and disheartened.
“That is better,” said Jean; “but it is not
good; one would say your voice was wool-gathering
this morning! Now try these chords.”
Margot tried them mechanically. La Mère
Pelous at the corner bought fresh eggs from the
country twice a week, but then they were very
dear; on the other hand, two streets away Madame
Claire had a large assortment which she said came
direct from her nephew’s farm, only——
Bang! came Jean’s hands down on the keys, a
terrible discord!
“You are not singing at all!” he said in a fury.
“You are piping! What are you thinking of, then?
Are you in love?”
This was really very rude of Jean.
“Monsieur!” said Margot, at once upon her
dignity. Jean felt extremely ashamed of himself,
far too much ashamed to apologize.
“You must excuse me,” he said sarcastically.
“You see, I have supposed you wished to work.”
“I do,” said Margot, with a tremor in her voice.
Jean heard the suspicious little break and hurriedly
caught up one of the songs. He had not meant to
be a brute! Well, not so much of a one as to make
her cry, at any rate.
“Bon! let us try a song, then,” he said more
gently. “Here is the one you sang the other night.
We must have more tone in it and less effort. Now
take a long breath, Mademoiselle, before you begin;
stand naturally and at rest, and then open your
mouth wide. Allons!”
Margot pulled herself together for a final attempt,
her knees shook under her and it seemed as if a
knot came into her throat. A horrible fear assailed
her that she might be going to lose her one talent;
she forced her voice against her breath, and it came
out a loud, wavering sound without form or music.
She was so completely unnerved by the result that
she covered her ears with her hands and gazed at
Jean with wide-eyed despair.
“But you are not well,” said Jean, as soon as
she let her hands fall. “You are upset about
something, and you are frightened! Come, tell
me what is it?”
Margot, overwhelmed by this sudden return to
sympathetic relations, burst into tears.
“Oh, Monsieur,” she sobbed; “do not blame
me, I am quite hopeless, I know. You will despise
me utterly, but—but I have a question to decide,
there is something I must ask you, Monsieur. Oh!
Oh! I am afraid you will be very angry with me!”
“But, Mademoiselle Margot, sit down; tell me
what is it?” said Jean, now thoroughly roused
and touched by her evident distress. “As if I
could be angry with you! There! there! dry
your eyes. It is you who should be angry with
me, then, for being such a bad-tempered brute of a
master! If you cry any more, Margot, I shall
think you hate me.”
Margot stopped crying—it would be dreadful if
Jean should think she hated him! So she dried
her eyes in her handkerchief and smiled at him
through her tears.
“It is only like this, Monsieur!” she whispered
confidentially. Jean leaned forward to hear;
perhaps like him she also had a tragedy, poor little
one! “I—I wanted to know if you liked eggs
à l’aurore,” she explained with trembling lips,
“so that I could go out and try to find some fresh
ones!”
“Margot!” cried Jean, and for a moment he said
nothing more.
“You’re—you’re not angry, Monsieur?” she
pleaded.
Jean laughed.
“Simply horribly angry!” he said, smiling into
her eyes. “How dare you think of eggs in the
middle of your singing lesson? I’ll eat them any
way you like.”
That was the end of the lesson. Jean was very
kind to Margot about it; he ate an excellent lunch,
but he could not help feeling that she was less of
an artist than he had hoped.
Familiarity is a deadly touchstone to the imagination;
only the best and noblest impulses can survive
it. To continue to admire what we see daily and
know thoroughly we must be either very humble
or very loving, and Jean was for the moment neither.
He had not yet begun to exact very much from
himself, but he expected a good deal from others.
The critical instinct is generally vicarious.
Unfortunately Margot belonged to that type of
woman who loves to have demands made upon her.
She liked Jean to use the best she had to give as
a sofa cushion; she was only too glad that it could
be used at all. Her mistake lay deeper than his,
for she did not realize that she loved a man who
did not care very much for sofa cushions, and who
would therefore never use even her best for long.
CHAPTER XIII
IT was a cold, damp day in the middle of February.
Paris had for the moment borrowed a fog from
her neighbour across the Channel; and habituated
as she is to sunlight and clear air, she looked dirtier
and far less comfortable than consistently and
imperturbably grimy London.
“It is the kind of day,” said Romain D’Ucelles,
looking out of the window, “in which one might
as well do one’s duty; anything else would be
equally unpleasant. My angel,” he added to his
wife over his shoulder, “do you require the motor
this morning?”
“Yes,” said Madame D’Ucelles, without looking
up from her correspondence.
“But I am desolated,” said Romain, “because
I shall have to deprive you. I am about to go out
in it myself.”
“In that case,” said Madame, “you might have
spared me your offer!”
“I don’t think it was exactly an offer,” said
Romain, with a thoughtful smile. “I merely
wished to show you a little graceful consideration.
You should, of course, have said that you did not
want the motor, and then you might always have
believed in the consistency of my good intentions.
But alas! you have acquired that fatal habit of
saying the wrong thing! It is a habit that goes
with economy and all the domestic virtues. It
explains much, and you will forgive me I know,
my dear Marie, if I say that I think it excuses
more!”
“I don’t know what you mean,” said his wife
coldly, “but the bills you have been running up
lately are simply disgraceful. Here are three from
the florist’s. I don’t ask where you send these flowers,
but the account comes to more than a thousand
francs!”
“Dear, dear!” said Romain, humming a tune.
“Do you not remember, my life, that I bought you
some on the anniversary of our wedding? That
was an expensive affair, I grant you!”
Marie shot a glance of rage at her husband;
she would have liked it to be hatred, and she
often thought it was; but he had too charming a
smile.
“The expense of that affair,” she said bitterly,
“was altogether my own!”
“Do not let us quarrel, my adorable one,”
murmured Romain, who by now had reached the
door. “It sounds as if we were on our honeymoon.
But there is, you know, after all, more than one
way of being expensive!”
“There you speak truly,” said Madame, “and
you have shown me them all!”
Romain laughed out at this sally, and under
cover of his laughter brought off his retreat. He
enjoyed an occasional conversation with his wife;
he said that it added so to the charm of the
conversation of other women.
It was three weeks since he had received Miss
Prenderghast’s letter imploring him to do his duty
about Jean. He had been extremely amused
and a trifle annoyed by it; during the three weeks
the annoyance had worn off, and now only the
amusement was left. He rang for the motor and
drove at once to Jean’s new address.
Margot opened the door to him. She was quite
overwhelmed by the gorgeous person in the fur-lined
overcoat who asked for Jean. This was
the first of Jean’s friends who had called upon
him, except his fellow artists, and Margot had
not a high opinion of artists.
Romain looked at her with amused eyes under
his heavy eyelids. “So this was the successor
of Liane de Brances!” he thought. “Pretty,
decidedly, but not worth six flights of stairs.”
Aloud he said he was shocked at having given
her so much trouble; he should suppose from
the loud sounds over the way that his nephew
was practising his new and rather noisy career?
“Yes, I think he is,” said Margot flushing
delicately.
Romain gave her a charming confidential smile.
“My dear child,” he said,—“you will allow me
this familiarity, for I feel that we already know
each other through Jean—do not, I beg of you,
encourage this career! Oh, yes! You see I know
your influence is great. It is delightful for my
nephew to be here, and your room—well! one
can see you have a taste. But you want to do
what is best for him, do you not?”
“Oh, yes, yes!” said Margot, with a quick catch
in her breath. “Only indeed you mistake; I have
no influence, none at all!”
“Come, come!” said Romain, laughing. “Do
you want me to believe my nephew a perfect fool?
I grant you this piano-playing is an absurdity,
but if that is his only attraction here, I must give
him up altogether. I assure you, you under
rate
his judgment! I could prove to you very
speedily, Mademoiselle, that such judgment as that
does not run in our family, but I greatly fear I
must leave pleasure for duty, and go in to my
nephew. I can count on you, though, can I not,
to support my plans for him? They don’t exclude,
I assure you, his having charming friendships!”
Margot blushed very deeply and her eyes fell
before the laughter in Romain’s. She felt as if a
clear, hard light had fallen upon a little shining
secret of her own, a secret that lived best in the
dark, and which she herself had turned her eyes
away from, lest they should see that which desired
to escape.
Of course she would do whatever Jean’s uncle
thought best for Jean; and naturally a future
which promised fur-lined overcoats and a motor
would be best for Jean, but they couldn’t, poor
Margot knew, be reconciled with singing lessons
on the sixième étage, so that her heart sank a
little as she knocked for admittance on Jean’s
door.
Jean had given up expecting his uncle, and he was
not particularly pleased to see him. There was
something in the contrast between Romain’s air
of finished ease and prosperity and Jean’s poor
little room and inexpensive appearance which
made Jean feel rather ridiculous. One might be
superior to Romain and disagree fundamentally
with his sense of the values of life, but there was
something about his bright, amused incredulity
in the presence of a higher standard which was
apt to make the higher standard look a trifle flat.
Romain sat down carefully in Jean’s only armchair,
and regarded his nephew, who clung to his
music-stool as if it was a banner, with tolerant
amusement.
“My poor boy,” he began, “all this is very sad,
isn’t it? Shall we smoke?”
Jean felt a renewed pang as his uncle drew out
his gold monogrammed cigarette-case and passed
it to him. He was determined to resist Romain
to the death, but he wished he had not to resist
him to the point of being laughed at!
“I’ve seen the little girl,” Romain continued,
leaning back as luxuriously as he could and letting
his eyes wander over the embroidery mats, the
religious pictures, and all Margot’s ambitious
attempts at embellishments. “She’s charming,
my dear boy, charming! The upper lip is too
long, the figure a little too straight, I should
imagine that after forty she might have to take
precautions against a moustache; but where
there is freshness and bloom it does not do to look
too critically into these things. Yes, on the whole,
I congratulate you!”
“I don’t know what you mean, mon oncle,”
said Jean impatiently. “There is nothing to
congratulate me upon, I assure you! If you
suppose that Mademoiselle Selba——”
Romain waved his hand gently in the air and
half closed his eyes.
“Ah, yes, yes!” he said. “Of course, you
take the proper attitude; only between ourselves,
you know, Jean, a fille de théâtre is one thing and
a femme du monde is quite another; one alters one’s
tone accordingly. But I have come to speak
seriously to you. You have made a fatal mistake.
I was really distressed to hear of it. A
big folly has about it something that attracts the
eye—the world will forgive much for the sake of
an adventure; but a little folly—an obscure intrigue
with an unknown singer—my dear Jean,
it is not a sin, it is a muddle! When I first heard
of your inconceivable good fortune in a certain
quarter, I was delighted, a little amused too at
your precipitate good fortune—the luck of the
first throw! but grateful to the good Liane. ‘Enfin,’
I said, ‘this begins his education, he is at the height
of felicity; work below his intelligence and happiness
beyond his means! what farther can a man desire?’
But, my good Jean, you lack discrimination. This
is a very grave fault. Let me implore you to be
careful! I used often to have this very question
out with your father. ‘Let me tell you,’ he used
to say, ‘that with me, it is all or nothing.’ I
regretted it, for those who take that tone invariably
begin with all and end with nothing. Violence
is a mistake, it destroys the senses. In pleasure,
my dear boy, as in delicate health, a little and
often is the best possible prescription. Now
this kind of thing,” said Romain, fingering a blue
bead mat, “this kind of thing is very extreme;
it leads you nowhere.”
“I must protest, Uncle, once and for all,” said
Jean firmly, “that I am not here for my pleasure,
and that my connection with Mademoiselle is wholly
innocent. I stay here with her and her mother
because it happens to be the only possible means
of carrying on my career; but music is absolutely
the only tie between us.”
“Your career?” said Romain, and he looked
at the piano, he looked at Jean, and he looked at
the rain on the window-pane. “If what you tell
me is true,” he added after a significant pause,
“it is very much more regrettable than anything
I had supposed. A mistaken passion can be rectified,
but a mistaken virtue is apt to remain upon
one’s hands. Pray do not lose your temper; I take
your word for it, of course. It confirms me in my
opinion of innocence. It is a quality which damps
the imagination. It reminds me of a wet day I
once spent in the country. Well, my dear Jean,
you have, I take it, innocence and your career and
six flights of stairs to climb daily; pray, does it amuse
you, this combination?”
Jean had prepared himself, or thought he had,
for the shafts of his uncle’s wit, but he was hardly
prepared for the unconscionable fit of laughter in
which Romain proceeded to indulge. He felt
bitterly exposed to the crudity of his inexperience.
Romain did not dislike his nephew, but he resented
him a little; in the first place, he felt that he ought
to have done more for Jean, and in the second
place, he envied him his youth with that deep resentment
of a man who has outlived his own primary
emotions without having found anything to replace
them. Jean blushed hotly, but he managed to keep
his temper.
“I don’t know that I expected to be amused,”
he said. “Of course, it’s all ugly enough, and hard
enough too, perhaps, but I’m very keen about my
work, Uncle Romain.”
“Yes,” said Romain. “So one gathers, and
may one ask, do you live on that appetite without
satisfying any other?”
Jean hesitated. To tell the truth, he hardly knew
what he did live on. He had three pupils beside
Margot—a hairdresser’s assistant and two extremely
stupid young women, the daughters of the friend
of Margot’s late father. These lessons appeared to
pay for his board, which was incredibly small, but
Margot said that it was really quite as cheap to
feed three people as two.
“I have made a small beginning,” he said,
looking down at his boots. They shone beautifully,
almost as beautifully as Romain’s; for the first
time it suddenly flashed into his mind to wonder
who had cleaned them.
“I don’t know that, if I were in your place,”
said his uncle thoughtfully, “I should care to have
that little one provide for me. Perhaps I am hardly
the person to point this out to you, but at least I
gave Marie a fair equivalent. One can marry a
rich woman—there isn’t that possibility in your
case!”
Jean sprang to his feet as if Romain had shot
him—indeed, for the moment he wished he had; the
thought that shook him was an unbearable agony,
it had struck straight at his pride! Margot provide
for him?
“Mon oncle!” he said, stammering with rage
and terror, “you make it impossible for me to
answer you, for there is only one answer I can give
to such a suggestion.”
“One answer, my dear boy?” said Romain coolly.
“There are at least a hundred! However, I assure
you I don’t want any of them. It is a pity to take
this tragic note. If my suggestion is not true—all
the better; but let us admit for the moment that it is
true, all may re-arrange itself. I have in my mind
a little plan that offers you a way of escape. I have
talked it over with your aunt, and I have at last
won her consent. It was not altogether an easy
thing to do, for I foresaw that it might include a
small sum of money to your little friend here—one
must free you from obligations in that quarter!
And your aunt—like the good woman that she is—does
not enter readily into a man’s obligations
to other women. However, I pointed out to her
that in the long run you would be in a position to
repay her handsomely, and really, my dear Jean,
it only depends on yourself how soon!”
Jean leaned forward eagerly; his uncle’s words
gave him a sense of escape from the shame that
was burning at his heart. He could pay Margot
back! And he thought that money could do it!
“You remember that night you dined with us?”
Romain continued lightly. “Your aunt sent you
in with a rich American. You were shy then, and
I was afraid you would not be a success with women.
It appears, however, that I was mistaken. Now,
this American is very rich and consumed with a
desire to become one of us. I don’t know who her
people were; in America, I take it, there are no
people, only parents. Your aunt has pointed out
to the girl that young unmarried women entirely
unsupported by suitable relations do not find an
entrée into the best French houses, and that there
is one way, and only one, of her arriving at her
purpose. She must, you perceive, naturally enough,
marry one of us. Do not be startled, my dear Jean,
and above all do not be precipitate. I daresay
you wonder what the fair Pauline should see in you.
To tell the truth, I fancy she does not see very much,
but you have a certain value—you are my nephew,
you have a good old name, and (for these Americans
are so like children) it appears that your little title
is not indifferent to her, and then there is your aunt.
The poor girl considers your aunt to be the ideal
French grande dame. They have such an infallible
instinct, these young persons, for breeding and the
right ton. I have succeeded in making little histories
up about you. She has become interested; like all
people of cold natures and wooden virtues, she is
immensely attracted by what she considers, in her
charming elementary manner, wickedness. Doubtless
you will be as surprised as I am to hear of your
poor little affairs called by so fine a name. Big
names and little facts suit ces gens-là; they have no
amusements, you know, except their dollars and
their religions. Fortunately for them, perhaps, they
have a great many of both.
“Now, my little plan is that you should come
and stay with us for a week or two, and allow us
to arrange for you this very suitable match. If you
will agree to this, I will discharge all your obligations,
and there will be no further need to refer to the
Bank, nor,” added Romain with a faint smile, “to
the—career! And, my dear boy, you will get the
taste out of your mouth of this very bad furniture!
Come! The little Pauline looks well, and really
you need see very little of her! I can promise you
from my own experience that with a little tact
and the discrimination we were talking of just now,
one’s wife is the woman of all others with whom
we need have least to do. I myself will see that
suitable settlements are drawn up.”
There were moments during Romain’s speech
when Jean hesitated. His uncle had a way of
making ideals seem very silly affairs. Jean hated
marriage, he disliked Pauline, the life before him
had in it nothing that could rivet his heart, and yet
so great was his shame and his sense of moral
exhaustion that he listened with a feeling of relief.
Perhaps this was the best way out of his false start;
perhaps work and courage and privation were not
worth the sacrifices one made for them; the flesh
that he had thought so little of as a temptation, when
he was leading the higher life, seemed different now—it
became, after all, the respectable thing, as, indeed,
it very often is. He was young enough to despise
good food, but Liane had taught him to think
about his clothes, and he already shrank from small
rooms and sordid surroundings; he had learned that
poverty is not romantic when it is uncomfortable;
and it is generally uncomfortable. Other men paid
the same price that he would have to pay; it seemed
a mean thing to do, but Pauline wanted his name;
it would be an equivalent—she would expect no more
of him; and he? Had he ceased already, then, to
expect anything from himself? Romain watched
him with speculative eyes. He hoped very much
Jean would be sensible. He hardly acknowledged
to himself that he would respect Jean less if he was.
It was at this moment that Margot began to sing.
She thought Jean’s fine uncle must be gone by now,
and she was longing to go to Jean, because she had
some very good news for him, news which made
her spirit dance and her eyes shine, and the voice
that came from her glad little heart took wings and
flew to meet her comrade. He would be sure to
hear her and call out for her to come in.
But Jean did not call her in just yet. Instead
he turned a little brusquely towards Romain. “I
am immensely grateful to you, mon oncle,” he said,
“but I could not think of accepting your plan for
a moment. I shall get on somehow, you know.”
Romain D’Ucelles shrugged his shoulders and held
out his hand, smiling his thin, bored smile.
“Think it over, my dear boy, think it over,” he
said. “There is no hurry, you are the only pretender
yet in the field. And as for the little girl here,
you know, why really there’s no particular reason
why you should give that up!”
“There’s one thing I’ll never do!” said Jean to
himself, as he watched his uncle’s head disappearing
slowly down the precipitous drop of the stairs.
“Never! Never! Never!”
He did not refer to his marriage with Pauline.
CHAPTER XIV
IT was some time before Jean called Margot
into his room; and when he did there was
something in his expression which made her forget
her happy news. He looked unlike himself and
as if something had shocked him.
He walked up and down for an interminable
time without speaking, while Margot fingered
nervously at one of the superfluous woollen mats.
Then he came up to her and put his hands on
her shoulders. “Margot,” he said, “my little
comrade, you have been deceiving me. No, do
not tremble or cry! I know well enough why
you have done so, you only wanted to spare me;
but there are times when to be spared takes all
the strength out of a man. Do not try to spare
me any more, Margot; tell me the truth now, how
much money a week do I cost you?”
“Money, Jean,” cried Margot, her eyes grew
very large and round as they met his; she looked
as innocent as only a woman bent on deception
can look. “You think, then, that I am incapable
of feeding you on eight francs a week,” she cried.
“It is to complain of my housekeeping that you
have brought me in here. How unkind, Jean!”
But Jean merely shook his head at her.
“Tell me who it is that blacks my boots,” he
said sternly.
“Do you suppose that I have no friends,” asked
Margot, “no admirers who are anxious to do me
a little turn? Apparently you think I have no
attractions, and the son of Madame Martin does
not get up at six in the morning, and run my
errands, to be repaid thankfully by half a smile
out of a shut window?”
Jean hesitated, but he felt relieved. He did
not dream that Madame Martin’s son was a fine
invention of Margot’s called upon to do service
for one day only and not to be rewarded at all.
“Any man would be glad to do anything for
you,” Jean said, smiling, “but if I were the son
of Madame Martin, I think I should prefer to black
your boots, and not those of the young man who
is on the right side of the shut window!”
“I do not study his preferences,” replied Margot
demurely.
“No?” said Jean. “But, Margot, I am going
to ask you to study mine. I cannot stay here another
day unless you will take twenty francs a week for
my board; you see I put it very low to please you.
It is no use your shaking your head; either you agree
or our little scheme together ends. It is true,”
said Jean half to himself, “that I still have to
earn that twenty francs,” but even now that
seemed to Jean the least important part of any
programme.
“Jean,” asked Margot, after a little pause, “you
will not think me curious or indiscreet, but did you
not tell me that you sometimes accompanied
Lucien le Page and Du Buissant? Surely such
great artists would pay you!”
Jean smiled bitterly. “They would pay me if
they would employ me, chérie,” he answered,
“but you forget that they are friends of Madame
de Brances, and lately I have not found them at
home when I called. Last week I went so far
as to write to Lucien; he replied very politely that
he was not in need of an accompagnateur. It is
the same with them all, they will not employ me
again.”
“But Cartier,” persisted Margot, “who gave
you your music lessons, surely he will not treat
you like that?”
“He is away in Russia,” said Jean; “he does
not return till the spring.”
The two young creatures looked at each other
something passed between them which contradicted
the expectancy of youth. Their glance was
measured, anxious, guarded. It resulted in Margot’s
saying, “How long is it now, Jean, since you
left the Bank?”
“It is three months,” said Jean.
“How hard it is raining,” exclaimed Margot
thoughtfully. “You ought to get a new pair of
boots. Those are very smart you have on, but
rain would go through them as if they were made
of silk.”
“I do not think they would take me back,”
said Jean wistfully; he did not want to think the
Bank would take him back.
“Perhaps not,” agreed Margot. “After all, the
hours are not so long,” she added.
“My aunt, Miss Prenderghast, wrote to my Uncle
Romain to tell him I had left it,” said Jean. “She
says I have ruined my life!”
“Bah!” exclaimed Margot, “the English are a
race of wet cats! I have heard they never even
dance on Sundays. Don’t concern yourself with
anyone so ill-natured. After all, that Director of
the Bank was a friend of your uncle.”
“To-morrow, then,” said Jean, with a deep sigh,
“I think I will go and ask if they will take me on
again.” But Jean never quite knew how he had
arrived at this decision. Margot sighed, too;
but hers was a sigh of relief.
“What troubles me most, Margot,” Jean went
on, “is that I took from you your part at the
Odéon. She might have done anything else. I
did not grudge her pleasure in destroying my
chances if she had left you your part. That,”
said Jean, staring hard at his boot, “was not
generous of Liane.” He had never spoken her
name to Margot before.
Margot drew a quick breath and laid her small
brown hand on Jean’s arm.
“Don’t throw your life away, Jean,” she pleaded
in a low tone. “You look so thin and you can’t
eat, and at night I hear you walking about, walking
about—till dawn sometimes. Is that the way to
forget?” She looked up at him suddenly, her
brown eyes filled with gentleness and love. “Is
there no other way?” she said.
Jean glanced at her for a moment and then
looked away. He knew well enough what other
way there was; he was not by nature a vain man;
he was more dangerous to women than that, he
was intuitively perceptive. Margot’s secret had
long ago slipped into Jean’s heart, and he had
turned the key on it in silence. Was he always
to keep it locked up? he asked himself. He wanted
to kneel beside her and press his tired head against
her tender breast. Surely to feel her arms about
him, and to drink close and deep of the light in
her eyes would help to heal the hideous ache Liane
had left behind! And did he not owe Margot
something? Was she always to love without
reward? He hesitated, but still he did not look
at her.
Margot’s whole soul was in her eyes fixed on him
wondering and worshipping; she could have drawn
him to her that night if she had known how; but
she did not know how. She was not thinking of
herself, which would have taught her—she was
thinking of him; and all that that taught her was
to wait upon his wishes; so she sat there, poor
little Margot, praying God to help Jean; and it
is possible that God heard.
“It is late, Margot,” Jean said at last, in a low
tone. “Doesn’t your mother want you?”
“Mamma is asleep,” said Margot.
“I won’t play any more to-night then,” said Jean.
“And there is something else too, Jean, that I
wanted to tell you, but I didn’t like to come in and
interrupt you before. It’s rather good news this
time.”
“Let’s have it, then,” said Jean, laughing, a short,
hard laugh. “Let’s have all the good news we can
get, Margot. Perhaps it will make up—the good
news—for all the things we can’t get—or are fools
enough,” he added half to himself, “not to take.”
“Well, it’s an engagement,” said Margot
excitedly. “And the terms are better than I’ve
ever been offered; it’s every night for three months—at
twice my usual salary.”
Jean sprang forward and caught both her hands;
it was months since he had looked at her with such
delight.
“Oh, but I’m glad, Margot!” he said, “and
to-morrow we will celebrate the occasion. I will
take you out and you shall dine as you have never
dined before, and then we’ll go to the Opera, and
hear the big women sing, women who will one day
listen to you—they will have nothing but a little
squeak then and a grand manner, and you will
have all the melody and all the strength of all the
world in that little white throat of yours.”
Margot flushed up to her eyes with pleasure;
her throat was not really white, it was rather
brown, but the programme was splendid.
“How pleased you are, Jean,” she said wonderingly.
“I did not know you would be so pleased.”
“Oh, I’m not only glad,” said Jean, stopping in
front of her with shining eyes, “I’m relieved.
Just think! you have got back what I took away
from you and more! Ah! if you knew how
bitterly I have been feeling all you have done for
me. Couldn’t you see I was almost ashamed to
look at you?”
He put his hands on her shoulders and shook her
gently. His selfishness fell away from him; she was
his comrade again, his good, kind little comrade with
whom he lived on equal terms, and whom he would
die for rather than wrong. Margot wrenched herself
free from him; to Jean’s surprise a cloud had
come into her eyes.
“So that was it,” she said slowly. “I see!”
She turned back to the piano and began to pick
up the music Jean’s impulsive movement had flung
to the floor; he could not see her face.
“Now you no longer owe me anything,” said
Margot.
Jean gave a long sigh of relief.
“You can’t think what a beast it made me feel,”
he said apologetically.
“You are quite free,” said Margot. Her back
was turned to him, but Jean heard the little note
of pain in her voice.
“But aren’t you glad I’m glad, Margot?” he
asked, in a puzzled way.
“Of course I’m glad you’re glad!” cried Margot
vehemently. “Good-night!” And she ran
quickly past him out of the room. Jean turned
to catch her, but he was not quick enough.
He stood staring blankly at the piano. The
piano, however, could have told him nothing except
that Margot dusted it very unnecessarily every
morning directly he went out, and sometimes
kissed the keys. And even that, perhaps, it was
just as well it should keep to itself.
The celebration fell through entirely; nothing more
was said about it, which was strange, considering
that both Jean and Margot were glad.
CHAPTER XV
IF Mahomet, on arriving at the foot of the mountain,
had met with a frank repulse from the
object of his condescension—say, an earthquake
or a stream of molten lava—it would have been
permissible on the part of the prophet to feel a
little hurt. So that Jean may be excused for
suffering the same kind of annoyance when the
Banque de Paris et des Pays-Bas shut their doors
in his face.
It had been an effort for Jean to go back to
them at all, an effort that had at once attacked
his independence and his pride, and having made
this sacrifice, he was not at all prepared to find
that it had been made in vain. His old friends,
the fellow clerks, winked sympathetically, and one
of them even invited him to return for lunch at
noon. Jean refused his offer somewhat magnificently,
little dreaming that in a very short time
he would look at a proffered meal as one of the
more important gifts of Heaven. He turned
away from the gloomy portals of his former prison-house
and said to himself that he was still free;
as indeed he was, quite free, with Paris before
him, twenty francs in his pocket, and two extremely
good suits of unpaid-for clothes.
The weeks that followed seemed an incredible
time to Jean to look back upon—and yet, while
they were passing it was every other time that
seemed incredible. They began quite easily with
that useful lady known in Paris as “ma Tante.”
“Ma Tante” willingly accepted Jean’s gold watch
and chain, stooped to his tie-pin and few small
articles of jewellery, and by and by absorbed,
with an increasingly small return, all that he did
not wear of his wardrobe. Jean belonged to that
class of society which knows what it is to do without
some of its wants, but to whom it is wholly
inconceivable that it should ever be asked to do
without them all.
Jean informed Margot quite comfortably that
a little went a long way, but he took for granted
that he should have a little. A line, he felt, must
be drawn somewhere, a D’Ucelles could hardly
starve; and he was very cheerful and quite
funny about it to Margot. Margot, however, took
matters very seriously; she didn’t seem to think
that lines are drawn anywhere, or that there was
anything essentially amusing in a D’Ucelles without
an overcoat.
She merely bought Jean a winter overcoat for
a Christmas present. Jean almost quarrelled with
her on the subject; but Margot cried, and said
he couldn’t really be her friend unless he took it;
so eventually they went to early Mass together,
and Jean wore the overcoat.
Then Jean got a job as guide to a large and
ignorant English family, who took an absorbing
interest in the relics of Napoleon. While they
remained in Paris nothing further went to ma
Tante and Jean paid his board regularly.
Unfortunately even Napoleon can be exhausted
in time, and having exhausted him, the English
family returned reluctantly to Birmingham, and
Jean found himself explaining to Margot that he
was too busy to come in for meals; in the future
he would take them out. Margot knew perfectly
well what that meant, and she arranged a sly system
of goûters and early cups of coffee, which he found
it almost impossible to evade.
Liane had kept her word to Margot; she had
used the whole power of a popular and unscrupulous
woman to destroy every chance she had made
for Jean. None of her friends would look at the
little musician any more. As for Maurice Golaud,
he stated frankly that if he saw the fellow again
it would come to swords, and as everyone knew
how shockingly badly Maurice fenced, this was
felt to prove how atrociously Liane’s little musician
must have behaved. Still, of course, everyone
wished that he would meet Golaud.
It occurred to Margot once to mention very
timidly the fine uncle of the motor and the fur
overcoat, as a possible source of supply, but when
Jean said that he would rather settle the question
with the Seine she dropped the subject.
“After all,” Jean would sometimes say carelessly,
“look what a time it gives me for your
voice; it would be almost a pity, chérie, to take
up anything else just now!”
It was true Margot did wonders with her new
singing master; he put his whole soul into Margot’s
voice, he polished it like a careful jeweller polishes
his favourite jewel.
He thought and planned for it as he wandered
to and fro, looking for work, and found whatever
warm corners there are to be found for shabby
vagrants in Paris. The Parc Monceaux was
peculiarly given up to Margot’s middle notes;
he wanted them to be the best of all.
Every evening he took her to the theatre and
waited for her to come out; fortunately Margot
never knew that one of the things Jean did
while he was waiting was to find cabs for that
class of society who do not find things easily for
themselves. On one occasion Jean was so fortunate
as to find his Uncle Romain a vehicle, for which
service that unconscious gentleman rewarded him
with a franc, the only assistance at this time
that Jean received from his relatives.
Romain was too busy protecting the pink silk
petticoats of the lady who was to share his cab to
notice his nephew’s face. Jean gave a little laugh
as he regarded his franc under the nearest lamppost.
“Funny thing,” remarked Romain to his companion,
“the man I tipped just now laughed like
my brother Alphonse—one had not supposed that
ces gens-là could resemble one’s family!”
“You probably gave him far too much,” said
the lady, with a deep sigh. “You are generous to
everyone but me,” and the conversation followed
its accustomed channels.
It was a wet night, and even Margot’s overcoat
did not succeed in keeping any warmth in Jean,
and he was guilty of deliberately wondering if it
would be any colder at the bottom of the Seine.
It was strange how much he had felt his little
meeting with his uncle.
He was not altogether taken by surprise next
morning, when he found himself after dressing (a
process which he had noticed seemed to lengthen
itself out inordinately after a sleepless night)
stretched upon the floor, with Margot bending
over him.
“What’s the matter?” he asked rather crossly.
“What are you making such a fuss about, Margot?”
He felt an indisposition to get up; he was very well
where he was.
“I heard you fall; you must have fainted, Jean!
I knew you would! Oh, I knew you would!”
“Well, never mind!” said Jean. “I suppose
I must get up.” He did not know how much Margot
helped him, but he was not sorry to find himself
lying on his bed again and staring at the ceiling.
“It’s only this bad cold,” he said, half to himself
and half to Margot. “People always have colds
in the early spring. It’s a bore it’s raining.”
“Your hands are burning hot, Jean; you’ll stay
in and keep quite quiet to-day, won’t you?”
Margot pleaded.
Jean made a face, but he agreed that he would
stay in.
Margot immediately called in a doctor. He was
as reassuring as doctors usually are. Jean would
need very careful nursing, he said; there was a spot
on his left lung, and his heart was terribly over-strained
and weak. Still, he had youth on his side.
Margot mustn’t be alarmed; the first thing was
to bring down the temperature and to keep up his
strength.
Margot despatched Madame Selba to her father’s
friends, broke her theatre engagements and threw
herself body and soul into the struggle with the
thermometer. She would get the temperature
down! Margot knew no more than Jean how
many days and weeks passed before that blessed
moment when the thermometer definitely dropped.
She knew that she told the doctor that Jean was
to have everything that money could buy, and that
to buy the things the doctor ordered she spent the
last of her savings. Her days passed making
poultices, cooking, pawning furniture round the
corner, thinking of all that Jean could possibly
want, and seeing that he had it. When he was
quiet she prayed. She had a theory that at night
she slept.
There was only one thing that Jean wanted that
Margot could not supply; and he wanted that
incessantly, and cried for it as a dying man cries
for water.
“Liane! Liane!” Jean moaned over and over
again, and Margot tried to get Liane for Jean.
She wrote to her—and when she got back the cruel
answer: “Madame de Brances knows no such
person as Monsieur Jean D’Ucelles and regrets
that she cannot oblige Mademoiselle Selba,”
Margot cried.
Sometimes he would think Margot was Liane,
and then the look came into his eyes which Margot
had never seen there for herself, and Margot would
answer it with a tenderness that surely Liane had
never felt for Jean or for anyone else. And for
the moment Jean would be satisfied, only an hour
later to rend her heart anew with the same low,
impatient murmur, “Liane! Liane!”
“Yes,” said the doctor with his finger on Jean’s
pulse and his eye on the clock, “he’ll pull through
now, I think, but you’ll have to feed him up, you
know; he’s had a close shave, and he is desperately
weak.”
The doctor was not supposed to be a sympathetic
man, he had very little time for it, and experience
had buried his heart under the dust of innumerable
human needs; yet he paused for a moment as he
saw the look in Margot’s eyes; it was the Magnificat
come to life again, and it touched the doctor.
“I should suggest your feeding up yourself,
you know,” he said kindly. “That young fellow
owes his life to you; his kind of case depends almost
entirely on good nursing.”
The look in Margot’s eyes deepened, her lips
trembled so that she could not speak; the doctor
shook hands with her and hurried away.
“Margot,” said a weak voice from the bed.
“Margot, I’m very hungry.”
Margot gave a little sob of delight. He was to
have chicken to-day. Her face clouded over a
little when she remembered the price of chicken.
Never mind, there was still the best bedstead; she
had not meant to pawn that if she could help it;
but she could not help it. So she thanked God,
and ran to get Jean’s breakfast.
CHAPTER XVI
LIANE did not use empty threats. She was,
as she was fond of proclaiming, a good-natured
woman, and she never went out of her
way to do anyone harm unless she meant to.
Margot and Jean had defied her and disappeared,
and she was willing for the moment to let the
matter rest there. But they made the mistake
of reappearing. She read notices of Margot’s
singing and she heard from her friends in the
musical world that her little Baron was achieving
something. He had played for one of Torialli’s
pupils, he was getting a name as an accompanist;
and he was still with Margot. This she gathered
directly from Margot’s ill-spelt appeal to her.
She was gratified by the appeal, and she would
have been immensely touched by Jean’s death.
Jean, however, did not die—he went so far as to
recover without renewing the appeal.
“One must do something,” said Liane, during
the temporary absence of one of Jean’s successors.
“I will call upon the uncle.”
Madame de Brances found Romain at home
and alone. Madame, the servants told her at
the door, was away for a week, the Comte, however,
had not accompanied her, he had a slight
indisposition, but he would most certainly see
Madame.
Romain’s indisposition was of so slight a nature
that it only consisted of an inability to do what
he disliked. He told Madame de Brances that
the thought of a country visit had made him ill,
and that the only remedy which suggested itself
to him was to remain in town.
“For me,” said Liane, lifting her eyes to the
ceiling, “I adore the country!”
“So I should suppose,” agreed Romain with
his enigmatical smile. “Madame gives me that
impression.”
“If my life would only permit,” continued
Madame de Brances, “I would stay there for
months at a time. How it would rest me! I can
imagine days in the green fields—it brings tears
to my eyes.”
“It would to mine,” said Romain. “But I
prefer to keep them dry.”
“If that were possible!” sighed Liane.
Romain bowed. He was intensely amused at
this interview; he had already the honour of a
slight acquaintance with the famous actress, but
he did not for one moment suppose that she had
called to renew it.
“Talking of the country,” said Liane, drawing
her long soft gloves through her fingers, “brings
one back to your little nephew. You are so alike,
Monsieur, one would suppose him to be a younger
brother.”
Romain bowed again.
“I should have said myself,” he murmured,
“my elder brother, but do not let me interrupt
you!”
“Pauvre petit Jean!” said Liane in her best
tragic manner. “There I blame myself! It is,
in fact, to blame myself—to make, as it were, a
little confession that I come here to-day.”
“Ah!” said Romain. “May I ask, Madame,
if you come to confess his sins or your own?”
“Altogether my own,” said Liane, with a little
sigh. “I have been unconscionably cruel to
him!”
“Ah, then, it was Jean who tired first!” thought
Romain to himself.
“Chère Madame, when are not beautiful women
cruel?” he said aloud. “It is their chief quality;
even their kindness one suffers from—probably
more,” he added to himself.
“Indeed I meant to be kind,” said Liane quickly.
“I thought, ‘Here is this poor young man, inexperienced,
bored with his bank, with a great talent
(that I most emphatically declare he really has,
Monsieur, a unique talent).’ I am an artist to
my finger-tips, think of me what you like. I
could not resist the temptation, I persuaded him
to forsake the Bank. I threw him with both
hands into the world of music, all this time without
dreaming of the poor boy’s emotions—they
were, I thought, only gratitude. Monsieur le
Comte, they were not!”
“At his age what could you expect?” laughed
Romain.
“I never yet knew a grateful young man; indeed,
I would rather not.”
Liane brushed aside Romain’s comments; she
leaned forward in her chair.
“She is getting a little too old to be so dramatic;
it tires one,” Romain said to himself.
“It was not gratitude,” said Liane, drawing
herself up with a superb gesture, “c’était
l’amour!”
“Dear me!” said Romain, concealing a desire
to yawn. “Wouldn’t you have been awfully
annoyed with him if it hadn’t been?”
Liane’s eyes met his for a moment; she ceased
to be superbly dramatic. Then she leaned back
in her chair and laughed.
“Perhaps,” she said. “Give me a cigarette,
please!”
Romain handed her one and rang the bell. Liane
did not protest when he ordered a liqueur, she merely
stated which she preferred. As soon as her wants
were satisfied, she continued her story, but her
tone was different.
“Oh well!” she said. “I am not, as you may
imagine, as particular as all that—a little love is
never out of place in a young man, and if your
nephew had been satisfied with a little in return,
who knows how long the arrangement might have
lasted? But he was not—he is a young man of a
terribly serious nature, brought up in the country,
which I find we both detest. He required a great
deal of love, he required a great deal of everything,
that young man. I am a busy woman and I could
not find time for him. I frankly told him so.
What a business! He raved, he stormed, he made
himself ill. He drove me to my wits’ end. I was
patient, but in the end I became bored.”
“Too much is always a bore,” murmured Romain
gently.
“I gave him his dismissal. What was my horror
when in despair (perhaps, too, poor boy, with some
thought of revenge) I beheld him throw himself
away on a little girl of the theatre, a trifle of a
cabotine, used, I believe, to clean the boards! This
is what (I said to myself) I have driven him to!”
“I can fancy it must have annoyed you,” agreed
Romain.
“It was of his relations that I thought most,”
Liane continued. “You whom I have met—Madame
la Comtesse whom I have not yet had
the pleasure of meeting. But I comforted myself—it
will be over before they have time to hear of it,
I said. I must not blame myself too severely.”
“And then what happened?” asked Romain,
with some interest. He had heard nothing from
Jean lately.
“Jean has been very ill,” said Liane. “One
can imagine the kind of thing; truly I feel myself
consumed with remorse—poor boy! what sufferings
I have caused him! This girl has nursed him.
It appears that for his sake she has given up
scrubbing the boards; they have no means of
support, and out of gratitude—and I cannot forbear
saying to myself, out of despair—he is contemplating
a union with her.”
“A what!” cried Romain, now really startled.
“My dear friend, I regret to say that I believe
Jean capable of anything,” said Liane, “even
marriage!”
“Mon Dieu!” said Romain. “This is worse
than his poor father! But surely he would not
think of contemplating such a step without speaking
to me?”
“He is very weak,” said Liane. “He has
romantic ideas, and he is in the hands of a little
girl who boasts of respectability. One knows what
that means.”
“I am certainly very much obliged to you,”
said Romain, after a pause. “The affair needs
looking into; they must, at any cost, be separated.”
Liane rose to her feet.
“Tell him that he has my good wishes,” she said
with a melancholy smile. “I have done what I
could for him. Was it my fault that I could not
give him what he asked?”
“From what I have gathered,” said Romain,
holding out his hand to her, “I should imagine
that it was entirely his own.”
They parted. Romain smoked for some time in
silence. Then he laughed.
“Rather clever of Jean,” he said to himself,
“to begin his career by tantalizing a born coquette.
But, Mon Dieu! How they hate, these women!
I would not give much for Mademoiselle Margot,
if she found herself under Madame’s heel! After
all it is possible that what she says is true. I
really cannot go to see the boy again—a sick room
after six flights of stairs would be worse than one’s
wife in the country! But I can write him a letter.
It’s a pity that I haven’t any money just now.
I should like to send him some. Perhaps after all
I had better wait till Marie comes back. It’s the
kind of thing one ought to talk over with one’s wife,
it makes one feel like the father of a family! The
good Liane is decidedly going off, I fear. Jealousy
is never becoming in a woman after thirty. It is
something for a boy of Jean’s age to have made
a woman of experience so much excited. Ah!
Henri, is that you? Bring me a marnier. I
shall not be in to dinner to-night, and put my
latch-key in the pocket of my dress clothes.” And
the domesticated Romain lit another cigarette,
and went over in imagination his interesting evening
programme, which did not altogether coincide with
his new character of père de famille.
CHAPTER XVII
JEAN opened dreamy eyes to look at Margot,
who sat by his bedside reducing with swift
competent hands a pile of his clothes that she
was mending. His body felt blissfully light and at
ease, and for the first time since his illness his mind
was alive.
He felt the singular clarity and depth of mind
claimed by the mystic after a long period of fasting
and prayer. All his senses were at their keenest
and seemed to work without obstruction. None
of the incoherence and clumsiness of reality were
present to him; life seemed an easy and an exquisite
thing radiant with love and beauty.
He gazed at Margot’s face and noted one by one
its gracious curves, the little lift of the lips, the
line of her chin, the soft brown hair that shadowed
her low forehead; it seemed as if her face was new
to him, and he was looking at it for the first time.
It was thinner than usual, and there were dark
purple shadows under her eyes. She worked
quickly and as if absorbed; but no movement of
Jean’s escaped her; she seemed to see without
lifting her eyelids that he was awake, and when
she raised them at length to greet him, Jean felt
as if he had been taken into a strong place full of
sunshine.
He gave a little sigh of pleasure.
“You’ve been very good to me, Margot,” he
said. “And how pretty everything in the room
is. I don’t believe there’s such a neat or charming
place in Paris!”
The soft colour came into Margot’s cheeks; she
had to perfection the Frenchwoman’s talent for
the management of things. Material was always
docile to her, and she had kept Jean’s room like a
shrine. His praise was as unaccustomed as it was
sweet, for Jean had been too absorbed in his own
life before to realise how many of its conveniences
he owed to someone else.
To-day he seemed to be seeing the past in fresh
colours. What a stupid world he had lived in!
Everyone had tried to get the better of everyone
else, people had thought so much of money; he
had himself—not of the money perhaps—but of
what it could buy. Stupid things like admiration,
fine clothes, and inconceivably uninteresting social
successes! He had not thought of music, of beauty,
or of the hard Spartan magnificent triumphs of the
spirit. He had worked hard for the spirit, fought
for the spirit, and then somehow or other, he did
not yet know how, other things had kept coming
in. He had been pushed away from his goal—music
had forsaken him. He had played accompaniments,
and worst of all, stupidest of all, had
been his feeling for Liane—he shivered as he thought
of it. How cruel she had been, and how indifferent
to that vague foolish passion of his poured out at
her feet so unnecessarily—for it was not the kind
of thing Liane wanted. It was wasted; she had
not cared for his soul. It seemed to him now the
most idle and incredible folly, and he forgot the
force of his passion as completely as one forgets
last year’s toothache. He felt as if he had reached
a new system of values, one in which it would be
no longer difficult to do without, because by doing
so he would come into an inheritance of things
more precious, clear solitude for work, freedom
from the strain of the uncongenial, and entire
repudiation of the whole material world. In fact,
it was the Higher Life again, only this time Jean
called it art and not religion. He was a little more
human over it too, because he allowed it to include
the friendship of Margot.
He could not remember his illness very distinctly,
but he knew that her voice had sounded like music,
and her touch had been cool and soft, and that
somehow, just when things had been at their worst,
she had made them better.
He did not know why it was, but he felt vaguely
better and safer if she were in the room; even the
keen kindly eyes of the doctor did not give him
the sense of support that he found in Margot’s.
He felt that there was in her something indestructibly
strong, and that it was there for his use.
Jean put out his hand towards her and she let
her sewing fall into her lap while she covered it.
“It is nearly time for you to have your broth,
Jean,” she said.
“No, it can’t be,” said Jean. “I want to talk
to you, Margot. Where do you get the money to
buy broth and chicken and jelly?”
“I make the jellies,” said Margot, “and the
broth and chicken are not expensive at this time
of year.”
“Where’s your mother?” Jean persisted.
“She’s staying with Papa’s friends for a little
change. She’ll be back in a day or two!”
“Then you’ve done everything?” said Jean
with a little sigh. “Do you know, Margot, when
I came here I meant to help you, but it seems to
me that I only gave you more trouble—it has always
been you who have helped me. How do you manage,
too, about your singing, chérie? I never hear
you!”
“Would you like me to sing for you now?”
asked Margot, anxious to change the subject.
“I could, you know; I know that last little song
of Schubert’s by heart.”
“Yes, do,” said Jean eagerly.
Margot drew a deep breath and winced.
“At least I thought I did,” she murmured.
She had not realized how difficult it is to sing
when you are hungry. For the last three days
she had had very little to eat.
“I’m so sorry, Jean,” she said. “I’m afraid
I can’t without you. You see, then, how necessary
you are! You do help me!”
“But you haven’t told me how you are getting
on at the theatre?” Jean persisted. “Tell me,
Margot!” There was the first note of definite
suspicion in his voice.
Margot almost welcomed the postman’s rap.
She sprang up and came back with a letter.
“It’s from one of your fine friends,” she said,
laughing. “I can feel the thick paper—and a
great crest—and I think, Monsieur Jean, it is from
a lady! I shall be very discreet and go away
without so much as a question. When I come
back you will tell me if her hair is black or gold—that
will be for a reward.”
“Don’t be gone long, Margot,” said Jean. “I
miss you so when you’re away.”
He took the letter out of her hand lazily; it
was the D’Ucelles crest; he wondered vaguely
what it was. It was not Romain’s writing. After
all it had seemed simpler to Romain to leave the
matter to his wife—if he could have sent money
he would have written himself. But it seemed a
shabby thing to write without, and Marie would
not let him send a sou. Jean wondered if perhaps
his uncle had heard of his illness and sent him a
cheque. What a pleasure and surprise that would
be for Margot when she came back; it would pay
for all the extra expense she had been put to, and
if he were careful he might take her for a day in
the country.
These November days were warm and mild,
with a sweet fresh sunshine in them. He would
like to see Margot in the country; she had been
born there, and he knew that she loved it. He
remembered how the first time he had heard her
sing, her voice had seemed to him like the breath
of the woods. He would not open the letter till
she had gone. He felt very lazy still about doing
things; it was so much more easy to think and
plan.
When Margot had given him his broth and
watched him take it to the last drop, she left
him.
“But now I’m sure it’s from a lady with fair
hair,” she said laughing. “Or else you would
have opened it! You know well enough that I
detest fair hair!”
Margot did not often make little jokes but her
heart had never felt so light before. She wished
that Jean could be for ever convalescent and
grateful, seeking her with the clinging eyes of a
child, and that she might always be hungry and
happy, and tired, for his sake; but perhaps not
quite so hungry! They would be sure to offer
her something to eat, though, at her father’s
friends, and that would last very well till to-morrow;
and there was plenty of the best bedstead
left for Jean.
When Margot had gone, Jean opened his letter.
“My Dear Jean” (his aunt had written),
“This is indeed sad news which your uncle
tells me! We do not quite know what to say
about it; he has asked me to write in his place,
as he is bothered with some affairs. Of course,
it was my natural instinct to go to you at once, but
I hear from your Uncle Romain that it is quite
impossible for me to do so. You will understand
this, I know, for though you have unfortunately
been led into a connection which is quite
beneath you, you would hardly wish your aunt
to enter into the house of such a person.
“My poor boy, I fear you have fallen into the
little trap your uncle warned you about some time
ago, and that your illness has put you under the
very obligation we were so anxious to save you
from! It is not very agreeable for us, as you
may fancy, to hear all over Paris that our nephew
is being kept at the expense of a young person
of the theatre, who has had—so I hear—to pawn
the furniture to support him during his illness!
But do not fancy that I write to reproach you.
I feel that in spite of your rather ungrateful disregard
of our little plans for you in the past, as if
on this very account perhaps, you might more
readily listen to a new suggestion.
“Do, my dear Jean, while there is yet time,
leave the house of this disreputable little person
and return to your Aunt Anne for awhile. The
country air will do you all the good in the world,
and you might interest yourself usefully in looking
after your little estate. Let me hear directly
you are well enough to do this; and I will send
your uncle’s valet to meet you at the railway
station with money for your ticket, as I fear, from
the reports your uncle has received, that you
must be very short of money.
“Your Uncle Romain joins me in sending his
sympathetic condolences with you in your illness.
With every good wish for your speedy recovery
and your future well-being,
“Believe me, dear Jean,
“Your affectionate aunt,
“Marie Agnes D’Ucelles.”
It was perhaps unfortunate for Madame
D’Ucelles’ purpose that Romain had not been
present to read this letter; if he had it would
certainly have not been sent. Marie had forgotten
his advice, that one should never be disagreeable
until after one had lost one’s cause.
Jean read the letter three times over before
he could persuade himself that it was real. His
mind and body alike rebelled against this new
brutality of pain. He could not feel as if it were
meant for him, or as if it were about Margot. His
tender, faithful Margot, whose heart was as pure
as a spring flower, defying in its fragile bloom
even the dust of Paris. It might indeed be broken,
but it could not be stained.
His aunt’s words made him blush hotly and
fiercely for her. He was not given to judging
harshly of women; but he was ashamed of his
aunt, it would have astonished Madame D’Ucelles
as much as it would have enraged her, if she had
known that Jean thought her a very bad woman.
Then he felt a fresh pang. Was it true that Margot
had had to pawn her things? He rose slowly to
his feet and staggered to the door. His little
room seemed very large and strange to him, and
the passage outside seemed to stretch into eternity,
but his suspense and excitement gave him strength.
He opened the door of the living-room and staggered
back against the wall. It was quite empty.
There was no table, no handsome dresser covered
with shining pots and pans, no armchair for
Madame Selba, nothing there at all, except a
box on which there lay two eggs and a half-mixed
pudding for Jean’s dinner. The shelves in the
little larder were quite bare. He went on into
the room beyond; his eyes could hardly see, for
they were covered by a mist of tears; there was
only a mattress and some bed-clothes under
Margot’s little stoup of holy water, and she had
fitted up another box for a dressing-table. The
mirror was gone, and she had nothing but a hand
glass to help her make her careful toilet in the
morning.
Margot had gathered into her room all the futile
little treasures for which the pawnbroker had no
desire, and these touched Jean most of all. There
they were, all set out in order to comfort Margot’s
heart—embroidered table-cloths, antimacassars,
carved picture-frames, and Jean’s photograph in
a white and gilt frame Margot had made herself,
embroidered with blue forget-me-nots.
Poor Jean covered his face with his hands and
crept back to his room. He flung himself on his
bed and cried like a child. What could he do in
the face of this cruel and appalling tenderness that
had stripped itself bare to the verge of starvation
for him, that had kept nothing back, and had paid
the utmost price with smiling, mendacious eyes?
For a time he did not see what he could do, he
felt no anger at all, for Margot’s love had gone too
deep for mere resentment. It had touched the
core of Jean’s nature, and the core of his nature was
sound and ready to respond.
Nor did he feel even anger with his aunt now;
on the contrary, he felt a vague gratitude to her,
for she had showed him what to do. If his aunt
could think evil of Margot, there was perhaps left
after all a way of serving her. Jean no longer
thought of paying back an obligation; his pride
had been not so much broken as absorbed in a
deeper feeling; but if he could serve her!
He had only the shelter of his name to give her,
but that she should have! He had never dreamed
of Margot as his wife before. His strangely lucid
and passionate nature caused him to divide all
the relations of his life with a definiteness that
never confused the issue.
Margot was to be his friend and pupil; he was
not to make love to her even if he wanted to; it
would not be fair. Now it appeared she was shaken
out of this pigeon-hole into another, one wholly
unoccupied so far. She was to be his wife. He
flushed with the magnanimity of his scheme. After
all he could be very happy with her; they would
make an arrangement about Madame Selba (he
passed as quickly as possible over this part of his
plan); then he would take Margot back to Ucelles.
There they would live very simply and quietly for
art, and art only. As for happiness—what, after
all, was happiness? The pursuit of a rapid inconstant
image which only waited to be reached
to vanish as you grasped it, or turned into the
horrible familiarity of the thing possessed? Surely
it was best to try simply for contentment, and to
look for that in work, obligation, and pleasant
human ties, without excitement, perhaps. But
Jean felt to-day as if he would never care for excitement
again, and then there would always be that
happy, grateful light in Margot’s eyes! All men
like to be worshipped, especially when they are
not feeling very strong and there is nothing else
to do. Normally, perhaps, they may seek for a
more active rôle; but Jean was not feeling very
normal at the moment; his temperature had risen
several degrees, and he felt all the sober exultation
of sacrifice before the sacrifice is made.
He was very anxious for Margot to come back.
When she came he could hardly wait for her to
light the candles behind him before he seized her
hands and told her to sit down, he had something
particular to say to her, and he must say it at once,
and she mustn’t get his supper till then.
Margot gave him a quick look, then she drew
her chair near the bed and laid her hand on his
pulse.
“No, Margot, don’t. I’m not the least excited,”
Jean said impatiently.
Margot withdrew her hand; she had felt his
pulse flying under her fingers.
“I have been thinking things over, Margot,
since I have been lying here,” Jean began, fixing
her with his brilliant feverish eyes.
“I have come to a great decision. I am going
to make a change in my life. I cannot be satisfied
to earn money as I am earning it now, out of the
mere shell of what, to me, is indestructible life.
I must get nearer to the heart of things; why—you’re
laughing at me, Margot—but I know you
understand—these people who live in Paris cheat
and talk and play with sacred fire; I cannot belong
to them, I must belong to myself—” Jean paused
for a moment; he tossed restlessly on his pillow.
“But a man needs more than that,” he went on
at last. “He must have something to look forward
to—something human and touching and loving—a
man must have a home!”
Margot drew her breath a little quicker, but she
saw she wasn’t to interrupt this list of a man’s
needs. Jean was evidently feverish to-night; she
must look into this directly he stopped talking.
“Margot, come nearer to me. Give me both
your hands,” he said, his eyes filled with tears;
they were tears half of weakness and half of pleasure;
he was pleased at what he was going to do for
Margot. She gave him both her hands.
“Have you thought, can you guess, who is to
make my home for me? No! Don’t take away
your hands, Margot—” He drew them to his lips
and she felt his kisses burn them. “They have
worked for me and nursed me, these dear hands,”
he went on, breathless with sudden passion. “Will
you let them stay with me always? Oh, your
dear little, wonderful woman’s hands, Margot;
they are so small they make me cry; they are so
strong that I could worship them. Now, do you
see what I meant? We should be very poor, I
know, but I could manage, Margot—and we should
live in the country, and we would sing and play
all day long in the blessed golden silence of Ucelles—say
you will, say quickly you will be my wife,
Margot. Yes! Yes! Yes!”
“Your wife, Jean?” said Margot; all the colour
left her face, her heart leapt over against her side
like a terrified bird; then it felt very heavy.
“Dear Margot! don’t look so frightened, you
are not afraid of me, are you?”
“No! I’m not afraid of you!” gasped Margot.
It seemed to her as if a thousand thoughts were
beating at the bar of her mind and could not get
through. Why did Jean ask this of her? Would
it be good for him? Did he really need a quiet,
simple life? Could she make him happy that
way? But all these questions suddenly seemed
to resolve into one. What had made him ask her
that question? Her heart rebelled against this
stern catechism. Ah, why could she not take her
joy when it came to her? It had come at last—for
a moment she let the taste of it fill her whole
consciousness, but she did not let Jean see that
she had done so; she kept her eyes down and no
one knew what Margot looked like when she held
her heart’s desire. Then she lifted them and looked
into Jean’s eyes as Jean had never seen her look
before; it was the terrible implacable look of a
human being seeking for truth. She looked into
Jean’s eyes, and he felt her passing beyond all his
careful plans, beyond his excited momentary
feelings, his tender regard for her, and his ineffectual
gratitude, into his very soul.
“Don’t look at me like that, Margot,” he said
quickly. Then he tried to baffle her inflexible
honesty. “Don’t you love me, Margot?”
He almost smiled as he asked it; he was so sure
of her great love.
“Not in that way, Jean,” said Margot firmly
and with absolute finality. And as she spoke she
drew back a little, and took away her trembling,
fluttering hands. Jean stared at her; it seemed to
him as if solid earth had failed, as if something that
was his by an inalienable right had been taken away.
He felt not angry so much as incredulous and
blank. How could she possibly not love him?
And how very lonely it made him feel!
Margot stooped down to pick up his letter that
had fallen to the floor.
“Ah!” said Margot quickly. Her question
answered itself; not even the pain in Jean’s eyes
which was stabbing her to the heart could turn
her from her purpose now.
Someone had written things to Jean, things
which had urged him to do what she must never
let him do, that was all. She prayed that God
would make Jean turn away his eyes from her so
that she should not be tempted beyond her strength
to lean forward and take him in her arms. Jean
threw himself back exhausted upon his pillows and
closed his eyes.
“Very well then, Margot,” he said coldly. “That
settles it, of course, I must go away.”
Margot crouched down in her chair like a creature
caught in a trap.
“But, Jean, why?” she said. In spite of herself
something primitive and bare escaped in her voice;
it contradicted her words and reached Jean’s tired
senses with unmistakable emphasis.
He was too tired now, though; he no longer wanted
to hear anything that she had to say; all the colour
had faded out of his dream. He would not open
his eyes and look at Margot again.
“Jean, you’ll come back to me? Yes! Yes!
do go away for a change directly you are strong
enough,” Margot went on, taking her hat-pins in
and out of her hat. “Nothing matters that
you’ve said, nothing that you feel could make
any difference to us really! We must go on! we
must help each other all we can. Jean, I may
ask this of you, mayn’t I?”
“You may ask anything that you like of me,
Margot,” said Jean; “and there’s nothing that I
would refuse you.”
And then Margot knew quite well how little he
had loved her.
CHAPTER XVIII
JEAN had told Margot that the one thing he
would never forgive was interference in his
concerns. No friend, he had explained, had the
right to force upon him such an indignity. One
might willingly consent to being under an obligation
to a friend, but to receive a compulsory and unconscious
benefit behind one’s back was a wound to
the personal honour which nothing could ever
heal.
Such service was worse than enmity; it was
more intimate and less forgivable.
Margot listened humbly to this statement of
Jean’s views; she thought how noble he was; and
then it occurred to her that he need never find out.
After all, the great thing was that Jean should
be helped, and Margot had never felt that it was
at all necessary she should be noble. Jean was
Jean, but when you came to think of it, it was
almost a moral convenience that Margot was
only Margot.
On the day after Jean’s disastrous proposal of
marriage Margot mysteriously left him. She said
she had occasion to take the air—and she took
it, after having made a toilette peculiarly ambitious
for so simple a purpose. Jean was not,
of course, offended with Margot; at the same
time he was sufficiently hurt to evince no curiosity.
She had not broken his heart, but there would
have been something inappropriate in his expressing
any wish to know why she wore her best
hat and did her hair in the most complicated
manner.
He satisfied himself, therefore, with looking
extremely depressed, and watching which direction
she took from the window. At the corner she
stopped to buy two crimson roses and pinned
them six inches under her chin; it was almost the
last franc of the best bedstead money.
Monsieur Cartier had returned to Paris, and
Margot sent her name up to his handsome rooms
through the medium of a low-voiced, velvet-footed
manservant—while she waited trembling at the
door. She wrote on the card, “I want urgently
to see you, Monsieur Jean’s friend, Margot
Selba.”
The great Monsieur Cartier was a good-natured
man; he was also curious.
All of Liane’s friends knew the name of Mademoiselle
Selba almost as well as Liane’s enemies
knew it, but Cartier was probably the only one of
them who had no intention of dropping the young
musician because of it.
Liane’s wrongs did not matter nearly so much
to him as Jean’s touch on the piano—he considered,
and he was an excellent authority, that Jean
D’Ucelles had a very pretty touch and an idea
or two behind it, while it had not occurred to him
that Liane’s wrongs shared in either of these
delicate qualities.
“Well, Mademoiselle,” he exclaimed, as Margot
was announced, “of course I remember you—you
had no need to announce yourself as a friend
of Jean’s. It is a pleasure to see you. I read a
charming account of one of your successes in the
Journal the other day. You stand on your own
feet now, and Jean, I hope, continues to remain
at them?”
“Thank you, Monsieur,” replied Margot, with
a neat little bow. “It is of Monsieur Jean that
I came to speak to you.”
Cartier pulled forward one of his big leather
armchairs in which Margot’s tiny figure was
almost lost. She continued, however, to behave
with as much dignity and assurance as if she were
six feet tall and had been born in the Tuileries.
She had never been in such a big room in her life,
and her feet didn’t quite touch the floor—but
no one would ever have supposed so to look at
her.
“What’s the young scapegrace been doing?”
asked Cartier genially. “If he has not been
practising four hours a day he had better avoid
meeting me, that’s all! A genius that doesn’t
work is like a blood-horse with a broken wind—all
very fine for the preliminary canter, but good
for nothing after the first fence. You don’t
come here with tales like that, I hope, Mademoiselle?”
“Oh, Monsieur,” exclaimed Margot, “first, before
I tell you anything, promise me never to let him
know that I have been here!”
“Mademoiselle,” laughed Cartier, “I am discretion
itself. No one shall ever know of it!
Has he become a Barbe Bleue, le petit Jean, in
my absence?”
Then Margot told him. It was a long story,
in spite of which there was a good deal left out of
it.
Cartier followed it attentively, twisting his
gold-rimmed glasses to and fro, and shaking his
foot in a certain vexation of spirit. He did not
like to hear of suffering, and it was of suffering
Margot told him. Jean’s suffering, of course, his
poverty, his heroism, his endurance; it lost nothing
from Margot’s lips; only it appeared that she
herself had taken no part in it. “And the worst
of it is, Monsieur Cartier,” she finished, “that he
is so proud; the best men always are, I think!
It would be so difficult, you can’t think how difficult,
to help him! The artists he used to play
for no longer offer him work; perhaps, Monsieur,
you may have heard that he displeased Madame
de Brances. If she had only known, there was
nothing in it at all; but we cannot expect a lady
like that to believe——”
“In innocence,” finished Cartier softly. “Indeed,
Mademoiselle, you are right; that particular belief
does not come easily to those who have lived for
long in Paris....”
Margot coloured. “There was no way whatever
in which Monsieur Jean was to blame,” she said,
“no one, not his own mother, could have blamed
him. Nevertheless, it is through his kindness to
me that he has suffered. So you see, Monsieur, it is
only natural that I should wish to make him some
little amends.”
Cartier nodded. “Very natural indeed, Mademoiselle,
and quite probable, if you will excuse my
saying so, that you have already made them.”
“Madame de Brances has persuaded none of her
friends to employ him,” continued Margot, taking
no notice of Cartier’s remark.
“She has not persuaded me,” said Cartier simply.
“Oh, Monsieur!” cried Margot.
“There, there,” said Cartier quickly, “no thanks!
no thanks, Mademoiselle. You and I, I fancy, are
at one in that—we prefer not to be thanked for
our little services. I like Monsieur Jean, I think
him a musician; as for the de Brances affairs—they
are, en général, an intolerable nuisance, and
they seem to increase as she gets older. I don’t,
however, know of much I can put in Jean’s way
at present. The Toriallis want another accompagnateur;
he might go there for the moment
while I look about. It’s not the kind of thing
I care for him to do—but it will keep his head
above water. To-morrow I will call and make
him the offer, and since he would be sure to refuse
money—and you must have been put to some
expense...”
Margot rose to her feet.
“I think, Monsieur,” she said, “that I also could
not take money. If it could be from anyone it
would be from you, but to-day I called again at
the theatre at which I sang before his illness, and
they have kindly said they will take me on again;
so you see I shall not be long in want of anything.
I will not thank you then, Monsieur, but to-morrow
I shall expect you.” And Margot held out both
her hands to Jacques Cartier.
“Personally,” he said, as he took them, “in
spite of all you’ve been telling me, Mademoiselle,
I think that Monsieur Jean is a very lucky
fellow!”
“Oh, Monsieur!” said Margot, with some
emphasis; and she shook her head.
“Then I think he’s uncommonly bête,” said
Cartier, holding the door open for her.
“No indeed, Monsieur,” exclaimed Margot, and
more emphatically still.
“Well, then,” said Cartier over the banisters,
as she stepped past him down the stairs, “I think
the world’s a deuced clumsy place, Mademoiselle,”
and this time Margot did not contradict him.
CHAPTER XIX
THE Toriallis had a handsome new house in
the wide Boulevard Malesherbes; it was, as
Madame often explained, “only a business
residence.”
This, however, had not prevented her from
doing full justice to her consummate taste and to
the large sums of money which her husband’s
professional successes had put at her disposal.
Half the house was arranged entirely to suit the
pupils.
Beyond the entrance hall was a large waiting-room
leading into a small theatre. The pupil and
his accompagnateur appeared upon a large platform,
while Torialli sat in one of the stalls, listening and
shouting his directions. Occasionally, if the pupil
was one of great importance, a few guests would
be allowed to be present, and very often Madame
herself would come in, sometimes to encourage a
nervous pupil, and occasionally to appease an
angry one.
The day of Jean’s first attempt the big salle
d’attente was even fuller than usual; it reminded
Jean of nothing so much as the consulting room
of some fashionable doctor. There was the same
air of strained suspense, and of superficial efforts
to appear at ease.
It was one of Madame Torialli’s favourite sayings
that Torialli’s pupils were like a “family party.”
If she meant to express a cynical disregard for
the amenities of domesticity it struck Jean that
her comparison would have been perfect. All the
members of Torialli’s little family were, beneath
a certain outward courtesy and ease, intensely
antagonistic to each other. In the musical world
there are very few plums, and there are a great
many appetites. There were two sides to Torialli’s
world as well. The professionals who paid with
their earnings and worked with a fierce seriousness
for bare existence, and the rich amateurs who
gave lightly of their superabundance both of
money and leisure. It is possible that Torialli,
if left to himself, would have put the artists first;
but he was not left to himself. He was a rich
man and a great success, and he had won these
benefits through his wife, who had taught him to
give the first place to the amateurs, and to keep
his professional pupils merely as an ornamental
addition to his profitable life-work.
Even in the salle d’attente there was a distinct
cleavage between the two branches—a little group
of beautifully dressed women and well-groomed
men sat apart by itself, in a kind of upper Paradise,
near the door which led to the theatre, and where
Jean leaned by an open window sat the professionals.
They were well dressed, too, but their
whole air was different; there was a restlessness
in their eyes and the definite marks of age and
work written in the lines of their faces. Nobody
from either group took the least notice of Jean.
He was amused to see that among the group
of amateurs sat, enthroned in the foremost place,
the handsome figure of Pauline Vanderpool, the
lady whom Romain D’Ucelles had offered to Jean
as a commendable source of income.
She certainly upheld her reputation, for her
furs alone cost more than those of all the other
women in the room, and she wore a pair of very
large and fabulously expensive diamond earrings.
“Of course, Clothilde Duffray hadn’t the least
voice when she came here,” a girl with a magnificent
mass of red hair exclaimed. “Ma foi!
One would have had to lay one’s ears to the ground
to catch a note! And now, I assure you, she
drowns an orchestra. What she paid I can’t tell
you, but she told me herself that she suffered
torments. Torialli literally stood over her like a
wild beast. I’m not sure he didn’t bite her. He
raved at her, I know, like a madman. I’ve seen
her come out purple with tears—but it was worth
it; she’s making two hundred francs a night now,
without turning a hair.”
“What I can’t understand is,” Pauline’s flat,
uncertain French struck across from the other
side of the room, “how Torialli ever came to
let Clara sing at the Salle Fémina. She hasn’t
any voice, she hasn’t any style, and she must have
done him about just as much credit as a tin
trumpet; it doesn’t seem to me to be any catch to
be Torialli’s pupil, if he’s going to let women
like that loose on one’s ears.”
The men laughed.
“Oh, it wasn’t Torialli’s fault,” said a famous
tenor (so famous that from Torialli’s point of
view he was almost as good as an amateur). “You’d
have, you know, to chain Clara up to prevent her.
Why, I heard her sing at Chevillard myself last
week, and when I met Torialli afterwards his
language quite astonished me; nothing but the
fact that she’s got the largest fortune in Paris
prevented him from suing her on the spot. One
doesn’t, you see, try to take money from people
who have it, only from poor devils like ourselves,
who haven’t a sou to live upon!” This was
really a great joke, for Lucien had any other
quality of the devil rather than the one he was
usually most eager to assume.
The door opened, and a dark, handsomely dressed
woman entered. A glance at her assured Jean
that she belonged to that race whose marked
features, both physical and mental, have caused
it to be the most hated, feared, and despised in the
world.
Hester Lévi was no bad example of her creed.
She looked gracefully immobile and rather feline,
the only feature that lived in her little expressionless
face was her marvellous great eyes—out of them
shone an untameable fire. As she advanced to
the centre of the room the little group stood back
to let her pass. She represented the two greatest
powers in the world—money and brains, and she
made the many fat women in the room look strangely
insignificant beside her tiny forceful little figure.
She lifted her heavy eyelids and bowed unwillingly
from right to left.
“So you’re back!” said Pauline without rising.
“But I might have known that as soon as there
was wind of the Toriallis coming you’d get to
know of it. I guess there isn’t much going on
that you don’t know!”
Hester Lévi looked wearily about her before
she loosened her heavy furs and sank into a seat
the great tenor stepped forward hastily to offer her.
“Yes,” she said, without looking at Pauline.
“I knew.”
“Well, you’d better tell me how long he means
to take you for this season?” said Pauline dryly;
“then we can’t have another mix up.”
A curious light flickered across Mademoiselle
Lévi’s eyes.
“I am to have extra time, I fancy,” she said,
“to practise the solos for Parsifal.”
There was a hush over the whole room—so
Hester, then, was to take the coveted part. A
hurricane of short angry whispers arose in the further
corner of the room; the little group about Miriam
and Pauline exchanged glances.
Lucien laughed.
“So that affair’s settled then,” he said. “Mademoiselle
is one of those who arrive early and stay
late. I felicitate her.”
Pauline looked straight in front of her, her eyes
had an icy glitter in them; she was profoundly
angry and bitterly disappointed. Jean, looking
at her, felt a sick distaste for the whole performance—this,
then, was music—the goddess of his lonely
soul! Was experience, then, merely a prompt
profanation of dreams? If so, what a pity ever
to awake! A silent, slender girl beside him made
a stifled sound. She had worked for four years
upon the solo parts of Parsifal, and her voice was
worth three of the rich Jewess’s clever but mediocre
gift. Hester Lévi looked at her watch. There was
a stir at the other end of the room. The door
opened quickly. A dapper-looking man of early
middle age, rather fat and very pink with an air
of just having arrived from a lengthy toilet, stepped
briskly forward. He smiled continuously and
rubbed his plump little hands together. He spoke
obsequiously to Hester Lévi.
“You will not be kept waiting more than one
moment, I promise you,” he said. “How
charmingly you are looking this morning! I can
see your little holiday has agreed with you!
Torialli is longing to hear how the voice goes.”
He turned as if he meant to speak to Pauline.
“Ah! Mademoiselle—” he began.
Pauline stood up; her cold grey eyes fastened
themselves like a gimlet into the face of the man
before her. The smile slipped from his face; he
turned white and flinched like a dog.
“Well,” said Pauline with a grim smile. “It
seems I’m come back too, Monsieur Flaubert.
Torialli has arranged for me to have another
accompagnateur. A gentleman who knows how
to do accounts, how to play the piano, and how
to behave!”
Flaubert stepped back a little and gave a slight
grimace and a slighter bow. “The gentleman is
to be congratulated, I take it, Mademoiselle, on
his opportunity,” he replied softly. “Monsieur
D’Ucelles is, I believe, the name of this personage.
I do not know yet if he has arrived.”
Jean stepped forward. The occasion seemed to
him singularly uncomfortable, but he tried to put
some conciliation into his bow.
“Charmed,” murmured the affable Monsieur
Flaubert, holding out a plump pink hand.
Pauline stood stiff, angular, and impenetrable.
Then she gave Jean the slightest possible inclination
of her head, and turned her back on him; evidently
she intended to have no recollection of a former
meeting.
Louis Flaubert turned hurriedly away to where
the slender little girl in black leaned forward—her
bent head raised at last, and her heart in her
eyes. He spoke to her rapidly in an undertone.
Jean could not catch what he said, but it was
enough to look at the girl to guess what had
happened. Louis Flaubert was hideously angry,
and he had utilized his anger to avoid the
strong and attack the weak in the most prudent
manner.
The girl tried to speak, her face seemed to grow
old and to contract, she held out her trembling
hands with a sharp little gesture of appeal.
Flaubert bowed and smiled, and retreated almost
as quickly as he had come. The girl, who had sat
quite still for a moment, gave a loud wild laugh,
then another, and then the whole room filled with
peal after peal of cruel hysterical laughter. She
bent and swayed under it, shrieking with uncontrollable
sobs. It seemed to Jean as if he were
watching a tree caught in a gale of wind, and
flung and twisted here and there by an invisible
Torturer. Nobody expressed any surprise at the
outburst, one or two people smiled and shrugged
their shoulders—a few paused in their conversation
and looked slightly uncomfortable.
“For the love of God, can we do nothing to help
her?” cried Jean in a fury of disgust and rage.
“Where can one get a glass of water?”
The great tenor Lucien D’Arblay smiled at his
impetuosity.
“You will have your work set, my dear young
man, if you go through the world trying to relieve
people—believe me, it is not worth while! She’s
just had her dismissal, poor little one! It would
take more than a glass of water to cure that.
Torialli won’t see her again. I can’t think why
Flaubert didn’t write it. He might have known
there’d be a row. Ah! here’s Madame!”
The door opened again and Jean, looking up, met
the candid innocent blue eyes of a little child
gazing into his.
Madame Torialli was any age you like when her
eyes were shut, and the thick bisque shadows
under them betrayed her struggles with time; but
when they were open and yours met them, you
found yourself gazing into the fountain of eternal
youth.
She was a very small woman who carried her
head like a queen. If time had taken away the
bloom from her delicate mobile face, it had replaced
it by a riper charm which had in it nothing but
the sweetness of experience. You could not look
at Madame Torialli and remember that the world
was hard.
She went straight up to the shrieking girl and
put her tiny hand on her shoulder. It seemed
to Jean as if a miracle had taken place; the girl
ceased crying and looked up at her. Madame
spoke a few simple words with an air of mingled
sympathy and authority, then she turned gracefully
away with a laughing comradeship to the
group of artists near the door. She left them
only to assuage the impatience of others.
She took Pauline’s hand in both of hers, and
Jean, to his astonishment, saw Miss Vanderpool’s
annoyed sharpness change to a calm serenity.
“To-morrow,” said Madame Torialli, with her
grave gentleness, “you will sing at my At Home.
Non? It will not be a great affair except for
that, ma belle! but it will be our real welcome
to Paris—it is what we have been looking forward
to, Torialli and I; we shall not ask anyone else to
sing. One does not hand apples after peaches.
We may count on you then?” And Madame,
hardly waiting for Pauline’s quick assent, floated
off with Hester Lévi beside her into Torialli’s
theatre. Nobody seemed to have any complaints
left. The tiny woman with the child-like eyes
had carried them away with her as if they were
so many decorative flowers.
“She says she’s quite sure there’s been a mistake.”
The slender girl confided to Jean whose
sympathy she had divined rather than heard.
“And she is going to send me a note to-night
herself.”
“She is like the East,” said Lucien half to himself,
“a land where there is always sunshine and
warmth—and secrecy.”
“But don’t you think mystery is the most
beautiful thing there is?” ventured Jean.
Lucien looked at him for a moment.
“The most beautiful? Yes,” he said at last,
“and the most tragic. If you want to be—I
don’t say happy, mon cher, I am not guilty of
the absurdity of supposing that at your age you
want to be that—but if you want to be even
tolerably safe—avoid mystery and stick to facts.
Facts, it is true, may knock you down, but they
let you pick yourself up again. When mystery
knocks you down, she has, on the other hand, a
little habit of keeping you there. Au revoir,
mon ami. La grande Américaine wants you.”
“We go in next,” said Pauline to Jean.
Half an hour later Hester Lévi came out of the
theatre as impassively as she had entered it, and
Jean found himself following the sweep of Pauline’s
train, with a quaking heart. The theatre was
empty except for the Toriallis. Madame was
leaning against one of the stalls, and looking across
the empty spaces with a charming, friendly smile;
it was not so much a welcome as a recognition.
She looked as if she had been always expecting
them with pleasure and without suspense.
“There, my dear,” she said to Torialli who
stood near her, “is our grand Pauline.”
Torialli came forward briskly. He by no means
relished Pauline’s behaviour to Flaubert, and his
bow to Jean was of the stiffest and shortest.
Madame Torialli, however, looked at Jean with
a flash of sympathy; her eyes seemed to say:
“Be patient; I know you have talent; you shall
soon have an opportunity of showing it.”
She was the most wholly graceful woman Jean
had ever seen; it was as if she had bloomed all
her life in some summer garden and had learned
the secret poise of a flower and the easy hoverings
of a butterfly. If she came up to a difficulty it
melted away; if she looked at an embarrassment
it vanished.
Torialli, on the other hand, was made of a stouter
and harder substance; he was a big man with a
bald head and heavy eyebrows, under which the
eyes sprang, round balls of vigorous fire. He
was full of feeling, irritable and impatient, easily
depressed and warm-hearted. Much of his
original nature and some of the real strength of
his genius had been weakened by the easiness of
his success. It had fallen upon him—his success—in
mid-career, blunting his finest faculties and
developing at a fierce rate his vanity and greed.
The artist and the business instinct still struggled
violently at times, but for the most part the
business instinct had won.
Perhaps Madame had helped it to win. She
adored artists much as Delilah adored the strength
of Samson, but like Delilah she took the earliest
opportunity of delivering Torialli to the Philistines.
“Now, Mademoiselle,” said Torialli, not without
an undertone of malice. “We will see how
the holidays have improved your voice. It ought
to be as eager to get out as a well-bred hunter
kept a week in the stable. We will begin, please,
with the air of Herodiade, ‘Prophète bien aimé.’
Monsieur, you will conduct Mademoiselle to the
piano. Gabrielle, do you remain?”
Madame Torialli smiled at Jean.
“If Pauline and Monsieur D’Ucelles permit,”
she said modestly, sailing into one of the stalls.
“I am not a critic, Monsieur, merely a lover!”
“There is no person so exacting as a lover!”
ventured Jean in an undertone.
“What a discovery!” cried Gabrielle, and she
laughed with a spontaneous infectious gaiety, in
which even Torialli joined.
“Now, Gabrielle, no jokes!” he said warningly.
“We are here to work. Commencez, Mademoiselle!”
Pauline rose to the occasion magnificently;
she was never afraid of herself; but she had the
incentive of a desire to shine more in some company
than in others. She always wished to impress
the Toriallis, and to-day she wished to make them
feel that they had made a mistake in passing her
over for Hester Lévi. Jean played faultlessly.
He did not desire to shine and he had quite forgotten
Torialli and Pauline, but he had not forgotten that
he was playing to a lover of music, and he played
to satisfy her and please the child that had smiled
at him out of Gabrielle’s eyes.
Pauline’s voice was hard, tuneless, and without
emotion; it was a good organ, and it had been
well trained. Like all her other acquisitions she
had done the best she could with it, and for want
of something better, which can never be done to
anything, it yet failed to please.
To-day she took her notes with deliberate skill
and threw into their rendering a dramatic force
which she had never shown before; and so interweaving
with her voice that it almost seemed one
being, Jean gave the velvet and tenderness, the
fire and magic of the music in his heart and under
his flying finger-tips.
Torialli leaned back in his seat with drawn brows
and seemed to be listening with his small light
eyes as well as with his ears. He hardly spoke
at all during the performance; once or twice he
called to Pauline to repeat a phrase, but he made
no comment till the end. Then he sprang from
his seat, rushed across the stage, and flinging
his arms round Jean, embraced him on both
cheeks.
“But my dear young man! my good young
man! You have music in your fingers, but it is
there, I tell you, the real thing we are working for,
and listening for, and trying to drag out all day
long! And you kept it up, you kept it up! You
got into her big brass voice and made it yield up
gold! You must come and play for us! Gabrielle,
arrange something this instant! I cannot afford
to lose sight of such an excellent talent!”
Fortunately, perhaps, Pauline could not follow
Torialli’s rapid French; she only understood
enough of it to know that Jean had succeeded;
and she knew that she herself had never sung so
well before.
“I’m right glad you’re pleased,” she said to
Torialli. “Monsieur D’Ucelles helped my voice
a lot, I know. It’s something to have a man who
knows how to play. You don’t suppose I could
have sung like that if your secretary had been at
the piano.”
Madame Torialli laughed. Her voice was like
the deeper note of a silver bell.
“Our poor little Louis!” she said, “is not a
musical genius, perhaps, but you know we couldn’t
do with him so well if he was; and you will not
think me conceited if I say that when I look for
genius—I turn to my husband!”
Madame gave Jean a charming compensating
smile; she seemed to be saying that he must excuse
her for appearing not to take his part; she must
do what was safe and wise, but at the same time
she had, perhaps, other ideas.
Torialli moved away. When he spoke again
to Jean it was in a colder tone; his enthusiasm
seemed to have received a sudden check. At the
back of his sharp little eyes there was a jealous,
irritated look.
“I ask nothing more but that you should carry
out my wishes for Mademoiselle,” he said. “It
does not matter who her accompanist is if he
sufficiently grasps that fact. Mademoiselle, bring
out the flexibility of your voice. You do not want
to throw it at people like a stone, but to caress
them with it as if it were velvet. Take the airs
in the last act for your next lesson. See what you
can make of them. Bon jour, Mademoiselle.”
Jean might have felt a little crestfallen at the
sudden change in Torialli’s manner, if his eyes
had not happened to meet Madame’s. She gave
him her hand as if he were an old friend.
“You have charmed my husband, Monsieur,”
she said. “And I think you have surprised him.
But you did not surprise me! No! that I must
claim for myself. I knew when I looked at you
that you were about to give us something original
and rare! I need not say, then, that you have fully
satisfied my expectations!”
Jean bowed politely and with shining eyes—he
did not remember until afterwards that Madame
Torialli had entirely overlooked her husband’s
request that she should arrange with Jean to play
for them.
CHAPTER XX
THE big hotel in the Boulevard Malesherbes
was the outcome of Madame Torialli’s
spirit of compromise. To most people compromise
means giving up something in order to obtain its
equivalent; to Madame Torialli it meant something
quite different. Compromise for her was the
appearance of sacrifice with the certainty of compensation.
It was necessary for Madame Torialli that
she should, for the sake of her husband’s business
interests, appeal to the tastes of his pupils and
admirers; and as their tastes in general ran in
the direction of the appearance of expense lavishly
maintained without subtlety or distinction, Madame
Torialli ministered to their faith by a modern
massive house with a great deal of glass, a portier
at the first door, two footmen at the second, a
butler of the smartest London type, and large
reception rooms in which the florid held an unambiguous
sway. Everywhere she had placed
busts and portraits, commendations and presentations,
of Signor Torialli. “If one must accept
vulgarity, it shall at least pay for itself,” said
Madame Torialli to her own friends. “If they
wish to have something always in front of their
eyes in the Boulevard Malesherbes, it shall have
the advantage of advertising my husband. I
have just hung this last bronze laurel wreath
from Germany on a gold mirror. You can imagine
how it added to my pleasure to hear a pupil of
my husband say it moved her to tears. Tears
like that are an extravagance for her and an economy
for us. She pays very well for her lessons. Her
voice? My friend, you should not ask me for
professional secrets—shall we say that it is of
gold?”
But these reception-rooms were only the shell
of Madame Torialli’s house. Far away out of the
sound of the theatre on the other side of her spacious
mansion Madame Torialli made herself a home.
Here she had three drawing-rooms in particular
which were known all over Paris, and into which
none of her husband’s most famous pupils had
ever penetrated. Madame Torialli called them
her “dull little rooms.” Dull they may have
been for eyes which rejoiced in the gorgeous
tapestries and expensive marbles that looked
even more than their price, and reposed in heavy
splendour blocking the salle de réception downstairs;
but to those who climbed the wide marble
staircase with its banisters of old fifteenth-century
iron work, passing through noiseless corridors over
soft deep Indian carpets, which sank under the
feet like cushions, Madame Torialli’s “dull little
rooms” appeared the most exquisite of surprises.
If below she had introduced the observer to the
difficulties of wealth, here he saw before him the
finished, distinctive ease which taste alone can draw
from the raw material of money. If she had
attacked the senses with an abundance of good
things—for even downstairs many of the things
were good—here she gave to the expert the sharp
asceticism of luxury.
The first of her rooms was called the bronze
room. All the walls were painted a pale Nile
green, a colour which had the clarity of air and
something of the restfulness of sea water. The
hangings were of the same shade, and at the end
of the room against a heavy portière on a bronze
pedestal was one of the finest existing copies of
Giovanni da Bologna’s Mercury. The chairs were
beautifully carved in fantastic shapes. On a
little table by the window stood a bronze bowl
full of golden daffodils; the mantelpiece held
three or four almost priceless bronzes about four
to six inches in height. On the wall that caught
most light was a copy by a great artist of the
Gioconda. Her soft, slow, secretive smile slipped
out into the room like some mysterious and sinister
sunshine. The classic serenity of the room made
Jean feel as if he had entered a shrine, and something
in the delicate coldness of its beauty warned him
at the same time that there would be no return
for his worship.
The second room was called the silver room.
There was the same spare priceless simplicity in
its arrangement, but the bronzes were replaced
by antique silver cups and vases, and the palest
shade of silver grey had been introduced into the
hangings. Here there were two pictures—one of
Whistler’s of a fog on the Thames, and one by a
modern French artist of a nude girl sitting on a
table.
The last of the three rooms was called the gold
room. A piece of old gold embroidery hung
from the ceiling to the floor and glimmered like
pale sunshine on the darkest day. The sofa, the
chairs, and the little gold bibelots scattered here
and there in spare and isolated arrangements,
struck the same note. There was a picture of
Madame herself in this room as a young girl in an
orchard in the sunshine; the colour centred in her
golden hair, and the sunshine lit up her simple
white muslin dress into a dazzling radiance. She
had yellow roses in her hands. On the other wall
opposite hung a Fra Angelico Madonna. There
was gold in that picture too, the faint etherealized
gold of Fra Angelico’s dreams; but somehow or
other it would not harmonize with anything else.
It seemed the only false note. It was as priceless
as everything else that Madame Torialli had; it
had cost her a year of her husband’s work; and
yet the old saint’s dream refused to be invaluable
or to associate with its surroundings. There it
hung on the wall, a silent protest—a wandering,
golden ghost that mocked urbane humanity and
forced modernity to acknowledge a power in which
it had refused to believe. Only Madame Torialli
was insensible to the picture’s incongruity.
“I wanted just that shade,” she would say;
“you see—the angel’s wing? I couldn’t have done
without it.” And if those who listened to her
saw more than the shade of colour in the angel’s
wing they did not tell her so.
When Jean obeyed the written summons of
Madame Torialli to call upon her to arrange his
future work, he was led by the highest of all
Torialli’s handsome functionaries up the marble
staircase, and at length into the precincts of Madame
Torialli’s “dull little rooms.” She was sitting in
the silver room, apparently awaiting his coming.
She was dressed in grey and wore a bunch of
violets at her throat and at her waist. It seemed
to Jean as if he had been led by some strange
spell into moonlight, and now beheld the Lady
of the Moon. Madame Torialli smiled at the
dazzled bewilderment in Jean’s eyes.
“But you like my little things?” she said
sweetly. “Well, then, look about you, there is
plenty of time. I have very few, as you see,
but such as they are, I, too, find them restful. Do
you know that I have a little fancy that we go
through three stages of existence. In the first we
are very spiritual beings; the innocence of youth
makes us hold all reality lightly. We long to be
imprisoned in dreams and to escape the brutality
of facts; we are led by a breeze to a flower, we
go no further than a smile. Our hands tremble
before what we dare not touch. This is the first
stage. I find it pathetic when I see it in the faces
of the very young. You and I have both passed
that stage, Monsieur.”
Jean sat down near her. It was true that everything
in her rooms was well worth looking at,
but there was nothing in them that held his eyes
like herself; this exquisite complicated being in
silver and violets, with the same faint scent about
her that Jean remembered in her letter, and eyes
that were as simple as a child’s prayer. She
lifted them smilingly to his.
“Shall I go on with my little parable?” she
asked.
“But please,” said Jean. He was even conscious
that his voice shook a little, it was such
a delight to hear her speak. Her voice was like
a silver bell.
“The second is more robust,” continued Madame
smiling. “It is a passion for reality, for big
emotions, for the crash and storm of the maturer
senses. It is in this stage that everything happens
to a man that can happen! I do not say it is
the happiest of the three stages; it is perhaps
the most interesting. At the end of it a man
knows himself, and he knows also the reason of
many things; but he does not tremble any more.
The third stage—and it is at this that I have now
arrived, Monsieur—is that he occupies himself
with material things; he becomes a collector,
a man with a hobby, a creature of comfortable
habits and practical good sense. He builds himself
on the desert island of his soul a charming little
log cabin out of the wreck! I have invited you
to see my little log cabin, Monsieur. I hope that
you think I have done well with it?”
Madame Torialli’s gentle eyes smiled with a
touching mixture of wistfulness and irony. Jean,
looking at her with the quick, absorbed sympathy
of his sensitive nature, felt that no one had ever
done justice to Madame Torialli before; and
this is a very dangerous feeling for a man to have
about a woman.
“But come,” said Madame, leaning forward a
little. “You are in the most interesting of the
three stages, you know; let us talk a little about
yourself. I found out quite by an accident the
other day that I knew your uncle. Monsieur!
may I add that I also knew your father?”
“Indeed—yes, Madame,” said Jean simply.
They were silent for a moment.
“And now tell me about your life,” said Madame
gently. And Jean told her.
He had never before talked freely to a woman
quite of his world and perfectly to his taste. He
told her everything, his eyes lit up with the eagerness
of his self-revelation; he poured the history
of his heart out at her feet like water. Sometimes
the tears came into her eyes as she listened to him,
and once, when he spoke to her of Margot’s sacrifice
and of his ashamed return, she put out her
slender white hand and touched him, almost as
a mother might.
“Poor boy! poor boy!” she said softly. “But
how hard life is!”
When he had finished she leaned back in her
chair and closed her eyes, as if she were thinking
intently. The sympathy in her silence seemed to
Jean the most beautiful thing he had ever found;
except perhaps the sympathy in her voice when
she spoke.
“I am glad you have told me all this,” she
said. “It has touched me very much that you
understood you could speak to me, and I am perhaps
a woman not wholly without experience. You have
had much to bear, and little happiness from
women. Do not, however, believe that all love is
fruitless—a lost and wandering fire! It does not
always transfix and petrify us with the terrible
beauty of the Medusa. I speak very simply to
you, not as a woman of the world, but only perhaps
as a woman, who, having lived amongst dross all
my life, chose gold. Let me show you something.”
Madame Torialli rose as she spoke. She crossed
the room to a tiny shrine upon her desk; the two
little doors fell back at the touch of a spring. Jean
saw nothing very wonderful inside, only the photograph
of a man in evening dress—Torialli as he
may have looked a hundred times over, on the
platform about to sing. The wonderful thing
was in Madame Torialli’s eyes. It was a moment
of great emotional sincerity, for Madame Torialli
loved her husband. For his sake she had left her
world, the quiet distinguished world of the best
blood in France, and married an artist. It is true
that though she had left it, it had only been to
bring it after her to his feet; and yet it had needed
an imagination, a fine and an honest purpose, for her
to take so strange a departure; and she came
from the most conservative aristocracy in the
world. She had never regretted her impulse.
She loved art, as no artist ever loves it; and she
knew the world of human beings as no artist can
ever know it; and after being the greatest passion
of Torialli’s life, she became his most useful
possession; and she accepted her position gracefully,
and turned it as she did all the other facts
of life—to her own advantage.
“Thank you, Madame,” said Jean simply.
“Voyons,” she said, laughing a little, and even
blushing through the careful enamelling of her
face. “Even old women have in their hearts a
corner where they like to play the young girl!
Let us return again to our discussion. Your great
actress gave you an admirable lesson; the lessons
of bad women are often more efficacious than the
lessons of good ones. They have a great advantage
over the rest of us, for they force you to accept the
moral while they have none of the onus of suggesting
it to you. For the rest, your poor little friend
charms me greatly; for her you must be very careful,
my dear boy. She saved you from marrying her,
and you in return must save her from failing to
marry—the nice young grocer round the corner.”
Jean flushed a little.
“What nice young grocer round the corner?”
he asked uneasily.
Madame laughed.
“Come! Come!” she said. “There will
always be a young grocer round the corner, and you
must be graceful about it. You must not want
her to keep always single for your sake. I grant it
would be more poetic, but it would not be very kind.”
“But of course I don’t,” said Jean hurriedly.
“I haven’t the slightest wish—” he stopped a
moment—“but I don’t see why we shouldn’t
still be friends,” he added.
Madame laughed again.
“There are only two alternatives, I assure you,”
she said. “And it’s like the arrogance of youth
to imagine you can invent a third. You may
marry the little girl, or you may make the simpler
arrangement of a man of your class, but in your
situation and with her feeling for you—there will
be, sooner or later, an arrangement, and an arrangement
which will not be easy to explain subsequently
to the grocer; and we must always bear that young
man in mind.”
Jean was silent for a moment; he was beginning
to think differently of Margot; it was as if he
already saw her the wife of the grocer. He felt
as if he had been a little ridiculous.
“Well, then,” he said. “What should one do?”
“I think one should not remain in her rooms
in the first place,” said Madame very softly; “and,
in the second, I should persuade Flaubert to give
her lessons instead of you.”
“Give up Margot’s voice!” cried Jean reluctantly.
Then the figure of the grocer came up
and hit him between the eyes.
“It is true she has a good position now,” he
said slowly. “I think she will do well. She’s
earning quite a lot. But then—there will be the
price of her lessons.”
Madame smiled sympathetically.
“But Flaubert charges the profession almost
nothing,” she said. “The dear little thing! How
funny it must all have been—but for you, my poor
boy, how sad!”
Jean had not thought of the situation as a
humorous one before, but he already felt older and
broader-minded; he laughed a little—the kind of
laughter which makes a man slightly ashamed of
himself afterwards, and much pleased at the time
with the company he is in. It was a laugh of a
man of the world. Madame Torialli recognised
this, and changed the subject.
The greatest art in life is to know when to leave
off; and it is an art which few women ever learn.
But Madame Torialli knew it to perfection. A
few minutes later a knock sounded on the door.
Madame rose to her feet and held out her hand
to Jean.
“But this is Louis,” she said, as the fat little
Flaubert entered, rubbing his beautifully manicured
hands softly together, and smiling more than
ever—his most agreeable elastic smile.
“What will you say to me, Louis?” she said,
with a light caressing familiarity which contrasted
greatly with the little air of respect and consideration
she had shown to Jean. “When you hear that I
have been talking all this time and not once mentioned
business? Perhaps you will not be surprised,
however. You know,” she added, turning to
Jean, “my husband and Monsieur Flaubert are
always laughing at me; I forget the point of everything;
but I say to them—Well, after all, is a point
always a pleasant thing that one should remember
it? Never come to me for business, Monsieur
D’Ucelles, but for anything else,” Madame held
out her little soft white hand and pressed his
gently, “I think you know you may command me.
And now au revoir.”
“Au revoir, Madame,” said Jean, “and a million,
million thanks for all your kindness.”
Without a sound the violets and the soft grey
shining dress and the delicate golden hair vanished
from the silver room into the bronze. The two
men left alone together exchanged a long, challenging
look. Jean did not feel particularly attracted
towards his companion. Louis Flaubert looked
a little like a round birthday-cake with too much
pink icing on the top.
“Madame is always gay! always gay!” Flaubert
said after a moment’s pause. “Maintenant,
Monsieur, parlons de vos affaires; elles vous sourient
en ce moment.”
Jean sat down and listened attentively to what
Flaubert put before him. It appeared that
Torialli’s connection was enormous and his every
hour pressed to overflowing. He could only take
the best and most important of the pupils who
applied to him.
“The best from the point of view of art,”
Flaubert explained. “That you will find is the
great point here, Monsieur; we make nothing of
success or of material value here! We are, as it
were, in a world beyond all that—but for art to
preserve its purity we slave! I have had myself
to take many of the pupils of Torialli—I am over-weighted
with work; of course, I have the advantage
that I know the system. Yes, I may say
that for myself the system has become a part of
me—and I have almost become a part of the system.
I refer, of course, to the production of the voice;
it is what we refer to chiefly here. You will find
yourself in a positive factory for the human voice
in all its stages and conditions. For a young man
with musical talents and a career to make, I think,
I don’t say lightly, that the advantages are simply
inestimable. There is much of the work, however,
which is not purely technical. You will find out
all that later—appointments to make—business
letters to write—concerts to arrange for—all these
things will be invaluable for your future experience.
They will introduce you to the necessary workings
of public life. You will, of course, accompany
regularly my pupils, and from time to time when
I am unavoidably detained about the management
of affairs—and I must tell you this often happens,
for Torialli is, like Madame, an artist pure and
simple—you will, of course, hold yourself in readiness
to accompany for him. What you will learn then,
I need not say, is an opportunity many men in
Paris would give their heads for!”
Jean gratefully acknowledged the splendour of
his future, and felt that after this it would seem
ungrateful and even grasping on his part to press
for a salary. Still he had to live, and one cannot
live on the magnificence of future prospects alone.
He suggested hesitatingly to Louis that there was
this difficulty.
“We will come to all that,” said Flaubert a
little impatiently. “Many men would pay to have
the opportunity that is before you, but I understand
from Cartier that your circumstances—?”
Jean blushed hotly. Somehow he hated to talk
to this man about his circumstances.
“I am very poor indeed,” he said coldly. Louis
looked slightly incredulous, but rubbed his hands
together more than ever.
“Well! well! we shall remedy all that!” he
said. “Your hours will be from nine to six o’clock,
Monsieur, at my house, you know; a truly unpretentious
place close by, Number 34; and the evenings
you have entirely to yourself—you can therefore
earn as much as you like during your free time.
We do not seek to bind you in any way. Of course,
you quite understand that nothing must ever be
said about the system? Of that we must be as
careful as if it was a secret of the confessional.
From now you are one of us. You agree to this,
I hope?”
“Oh yes, certainly,” said Jean.
“Then,” said Louis Flaubert, rising, “I think
that is all. Ah yes! I forgot the point, like
Madame. Of course, there is your salary. Shall
we begin with four hundred francs a month? I
take it that is agreeable to you, is it not?”
Jean stammered that it was—he wanted to ask
for an advance, but he had not the courage; and
the fat little man did not give him time to acquire
it. He shook hands with him violently, telling
him to appear at nine o’clock next morning, and
was out of the room and down the stairs before
Jean had time to formulate a thought, far less
express it. He followed the fat little whirlwind
into the street at length with a dizzy head. The
future was before him and the whole of Paris sang.
It seemed to Jean that the sunset sky was grey
and silver with a band of gold, and as if to-morrow
Jean would find himself playing before kings—music
that was made up of silver laughter, of gentle
wisdom, and of the wistful mystery that guards
the heart of a child!
It was some hours later, when the sunset had
faded, and Jean had eaten a small and sober supper
in a peculiarly dingy room which he took for himself
in the Rue Lalo, that it occurred to him to
reflect he was after all not going to be Torialli’s
accompagnateur, but the private secretary of
Torialli’s accompagnateur at a ridiculously small
salary.
He took out Madame Torialli’s letter and read
it again. There was certainly a slight mistake
somewhere; the faint scent of violets crept out
into the dingy little room. Jean closed his eyes
and smiled. Madame Torialli had no head for
business. But after all what did it matter? The
scent of the violets seemed to have replaced the
moment’s chill lucidity of doubt. The past was a
phantom, the present was a bridge, and the future
had all the invincible fragrance of a dream.
It was evening in Paris and the spring was in
the air. Jean ran downstairs headlong to become
a part of the laughter and movement of the streets.
He was glad when he remembered that he had
not given Margot his new address. She had been
out when he called to fetch his luggage and tell
her of his change of plans. She would have asked
for explanations, and there is a time when no
man likes to explain.
CHAPTER XXI
MARGOT was extremely unreasonable about
her change of masters; she said she did
not like Monsieur Flaubert.
It was true he agreed to teach her for a sum
almost nominal. He professed to take the deepest
interest in her voice, and told her, as Jean had
never done, that she sang with the purity of a
lark and the passion of a nightingale. “I do
not like him, he chills my spine,” she asserted to
Jean after her first lesson; “and you—you do
not like him either, Jean!”
This was more unreasonable of Margot still,
for Jean had never admitted even to himself that
he resented Torialli’s secretary, and he did not
admit it now.
He explained elaborately to Margot his reasons
for esteeming Monsieur Flaubert; they really
added up very respectably, from the fact that
he had been with Torialli for ten years to his frank
appreciation of Margot’s golden voice.
“Bah!” exclaimed that young person, “dress
an eel in gold and he will, still squirm! Why
does he come into a room rubbing his hands?
He has a bad conscience and he looks like a cat
that has stolen the cream. You say I know
nothing against him—everything is against him—I
do not like the way he does his hair!”
Jean shrugged his shoulders; it was no use
trying to argue with Margot; she lived too near
the sources of sensation to be easily hoodwinked
by ideas.
Jean would have liked to hoodwink her because
it would have given him company in the process
in which he became daily more and more involved
of hoodwinking himself.
At last he had begun his career, but there were
moments when he found himself wondering what
his career was. He was everybody’s servant and
nobody’s master. Music seemed to recede further
and further into the distant horizon. For days
together all he had of it was the sound of a distant
piano; sometimes he was out all day, delivering
notes and seeing business people for Louis Flaubert,
or Madame Torialli would ask him to organize a
little party, a day in the country, or an evening
At Home. These last occupations, however, if
they were not music, had at least about them an
indefinable charm. They seemed to make Jean
indifferent to the salary that was never paid, to
the extra evening hours no one seemed to be
surprised at his resigning for the general good of the
Toriallis. After all he had, as Louis often pointed
out to him, his great opportunities. He took almost
all his meals in the Boulevard Malesherbes, and
he met the best people in Paris. Madame Torialli
treated him as a friend, almost as a son. Signor
Torialli treated him as a fellow musician. Jean
often played at the Toriallis’ At Homes; he began
to have a vogue in Paris; he was called “that
good little fellow at the Toriallis’”; and people
smiled indulgently when they mentioned him;
but whether the indulgence was for Jean or for
the Toriallis never appeared. Romain met him
at one of the Toriallis’ At Homes. His smile
seemed to have even more humour in it than
usual; he did not refer to any of his previous ideas
for Jean.
“So, my dear boy,” he said, “we meet again.
You are bien installé here, I take it. I am so glad
you have been wise and given up your music.”
“But I have not,” Jean cried in amazement.
“That is what I am here for!”
“Tut! tut!” said his uncle. “You must be
jesting, Jean; every one knows the good Toriallis
have no time for the fine arts; they have only
time for receipts! Share them! Share them, my
dear boy! for if you do not you will very surely
be made to pay them! There are only two ways
of getting on in this world—taking and sharing!
For my own part I think sharing is the best, the
responsibility is divided, and there is nothing I
trust so greatly as a self-interest which is identical
with our own. Ah, Madame Torialli, I am congratulating
my young nephew on his position
with your husband. If I were twenty years younger
I should wish I were in his place.” Madame
Torialli smiled very gravely and gently; her eyes
sought Jean’s with an affectionate expression.
“I am wondering what your uncle means,”
she said. “And I am afraid that it is not perhaps
quite kind. I am such a simple person.” And
then she looked back at Romain, who chuckled.
“Twenty years ago, Madame,” he said, “I
should have been a simple person, too. We might
then have met upon an equality.”
“Jean and I understand each other,” said
Madame, softly, preparing to pass on to her other
guests.
“That is doubtless why I congratulate him,”
said Romain, drawing aside to let her pass.
Jean was needed elsewhere; he made no attempt
to continue his conversation with Romain. He did
not know why, but it had made him feel a little
uncomfortable.
It was only a small addition to the discomforts
his pinched pride gave him every day. All these
little pin-pricks together only amounted to the
pain of a corn in a tight shoe. When the shoe
made him most aware of its presence was in the
disagreeable business interviews with the pupils.
From the first Louis had sent him to collect money
for the accounts. Jean copied them daily into the
book from Flaubert’s notes; but the Toriallis’
pupils almost always disputed their accounts, and
Jean’s dislike for these interviews increased daily.
“I can’t think what is the matter with these
people,” he said at last to Louis. “I can understand
some of them being mean—but so many of
them are, men and women alike. And they seem
so certain that they have had fewer lessons or
shorter hours. I suppose there can’t be any
mistakes in the accounts?”
“How can there be?” said Louis, looking at
Jean rather hard. “I put them all down in a
book myself, you know, exactly as they take
place. Paris is full of cheats, and the worst of
them are the rich.”
“Yes, but they aren’t all rich,” Jean answered.
“Some of them are poor, and that makes it so
much worse.”
“I haven’t the time to explain just now,” said
Louis after a pause. “Be so kind as to write
down the appointments for next week; and here,
by the by, is Miss Vanderpool’s account. You may
take that to her to-morrow.”
“Can’t I send it?” Jean asked.
“No! She always likes to argue things out,”
said Flaubert. “She thinks she shows a business
instinct. Mind you make her pay.”
“Really, Flaubert, I wish to Heaven you’d do
it yourself!” said Jean impulsively. “The other
day I heard you tell one of the pupils that a mistake
in the account was my fault, and you know
I never make them out at all!”
Flaubert put his arm genially on the young
man’s shoulder.
“My dear boy,” he said. “I apologize a
thousand times. I had to get rid of him, and
to tell the truth I hadn’t time for a fight. Madame
had just sent for me. You came into my head,
and I made a scapegoat of you. I apologize
profoundly.”
Jean drew away from the insinuating arm.
“I should be very glad if you would give me
your word that it doesn’t happen again!” he said
curtly.
Louis laughed nervously.
“I will give you my word, of course, if you want
it, my dear boy,” he said. “But really, you
know, you’ll never learn business at this rate.”
“I’m afraid I must insist,” said Jean.
Flaubert shook his head roguishly. “I give
you my word, then,” he said; “but I don’t know
what Madame would say if she heard me; she
believes in a silent partner, does Madame.”
“But Madame has nothing to do with business?”
exclaimed Jean.
Flaubert bit his lip, and forced an unnatural
laugh.
“No, no!” he said. “Of course not, that is
why we must be so careful of her interests. By
the by, if you so much dislike tackling the great
Pauline, you can after all leave her to me. If
she does dispute the account I’ll try to make
time for her; she is always disputing something.
No! send it by post; after all that is the best
way.”
Jean was immensely relieved. After all Flaubert
was very easy to work with; he was always good-natured,
and he never took offence at any of Jean’s
protests. Jean decided that he would try not to
protest so much, and he sent the account to Pauline.
It seemed even to him, accustomed to the enormous
expenses of Torialli’s lessons, an immense account.
He congratulated himself on not having to face
Pauline with it. Unfortunately his congratulations
came a little too soon. The very next day Pauline
called, not at the hotel of the Toriallis, but at
Louis Flaubert’s house.
She was shown at once into the room where
Jean was going through the morning’s correspondence.
He was used by now to the sight of angry
women, but he had never before seen one so fixedly,
fiercely angry as Pauline Vanderpool.
“Where’s your master?” she asked Jean with
no formal preface.
“I don’t think I know quite whom you mean,
Mademoiselle,” said Jean very quietly.
“I guess you know well enough, Jean D’Ucelles,
and you’ll soon know some more. I tell you
those—Send for that man, Flaubert. No! Don’t
you stir—I’ll not have you two conspiring behind
my back. I’ll see you both together and now.
Do you catch on? The daughter of Silas P.
Vanderpool isn’t going to be swindled by a pack
of low-bred Parisian money-grabbers, not by a
long way!”
“Mademoiselle, I do not think you will gain
anything by being abusive,” said Jean. “You have
very great advantages as a woman. It would
perhaps be better manners as well as better policy
on your part not to abuse them!”
“Why, you puppy!” gasped Pauline. “Do
you dare to stand there and try to teach me
manners, when I know you haven’t got a brass
cent unless you have stolen it?”
“Be content, Mademoiselle, for apparently I
have not succeeded,” said Jean grimly. “Ah!
Here is Monsieur Flaubert! Have the kindness
to make your complaint to him.”
“Say, do you keep this impertinent young whipper-snapper
here to insult your clients?” hissed Pauline,
leaning forward and forcing the words out between
her teeth, her blue eyes hard as steel and her
great chin thrust forward like a rock. “I’ve brought
you this bill, Monsieur Flaubert—this isn’t the
first time I’ve suspected some monkey trick in my
account here—but this time I know it! It won’t
be of any use your lying about it. I can prove
the mistake and I can prove where it is. Take
this paper I’ve got here, and look through it, and
then tell me you’ve not cheated me, if you dare!
I tell you what it is, Monsieur, I’ll have these two
accounts published in the leading journals throughout
your little one-horse village by to-night if you
don’t climb down pretty quick—Toriallis or no
Toriallis!”
Jean looked at Flaubert with a sympathetic
glance; it was very disagreeable to have a mad
woman to deal with, and he was sorry for Flaubert.
He thought Pauline was mad. To his intense
astonishment he saw that Flaubert was white to
the lips and trembling like a leaf—great beads of
perspiration stood out on his forehead, and he
smiled in a sickly way, first at the paper in his
shaking hands, and then at Pauline. He moistened
his lips before he spoke, and gave Jean a quick,
furtive look under his eye-lashes.
“I regret infinitely, Mademoiselle,” he said,
“that a mistake should have been made; it is
nothing more, I assure you; still it is very natural
that you should be annoyed by it. I have not
had my secretary here very long, and he is not
much up to affairs! You know, Ucelles, you
owned to me yourself only this morning that you
had a very poor head for business,” said Flaubert,
turning to Jean. He had recovered himself by
now, the colour had come back to his face. He
looked in Jean’s direction, but he did not meet
his eyes. “I fear I must ask you, Mademoiselle,
to overlook my secretary’s little mistake and to
accept our most humble apologies. I trust you
will let this affair go no further. I can answer
for Monsieur D’Ucelles’ good intentions as I can
for my own, and if it reached the ears of the
Toriallis they might be annoyed.”
“It shall reach them,” said Pauline sharply.
“I meant annoyed with you, Mademoiselle,”
interposed Flaubert, whose confidence was now
fully returned. “Signor Torialli is so impetuous,
and your attack on me has not been very temperate.
It would be such a pity to stop your
lessons just now, when your voice is profiting so
greatly.”
Pauline paused for a moment. Her lip curved
scornfully as she looked at Jean. He had started
forward at the first words of Flaubert’s speech,
stung beyond his own control and ready with a
vehement denial. But even as he did so Flaubert’s
words about Madame came back to him; he
must do nothing that might be against her interests,
and he was in the presence of something that he did
not understand. He drew back and stood quietly
waiting with his eyes on Pauline.
“As for you, Jean D’Ucelles,” she said, “I
guess you’re just about the poorest-headed, lost
lamb of a Weary Willie I ever struck! I don’t
see, Monsieur Flaubert, how you can suppose a
man who has never had anything of his own to
look after is likely to make much of a hand looking
after anybody else’s accounts! If he ever turned
up our side of the water they’d send him brick-picking!
Now see here! I’ll give you back this
bill this one time; make it out again, and let
me advise you to send it to me correct! You’ve
tried to fool me twice, and it hasn’t paid you any,
I guess—but if you try the third time, Louis
Flaubert, I’ll turn you down!”
Pauline swept from the room. Flaubert went
to the door with her while Jean stood quite still,
trying to understand what had happened, and
what he must say to Flaubert when he came back.
He knew now what all his little misgivings and
discomforts had led to—they had led to this;
and yet he dared not say even to himself what
this was. He had one thing that he could still
hold to, and for the sake of holding to that one
thing he must make up his mind quickly to let
everything else go. He was where he was in
order to serve Madame Torialli, and if the man
she trusted in was a thief and a liar, the more
need she would have of Jean to stand by her,
and watch over her; and to do this he must overcome
his natural instinct, which was to seize
Flaubert and kick him with contumely and finality
out of the house.
Louis came back humming a little dance tune,
and rubbing his hands together; he did not appear
to see Jean standing in the middle of the room
with sombre eyes. He smiled cheerfully.
“Well, the storm is over, the sun is out again,”
he said. “That big Pauline would make a terrible
wife; she should marry a lion-tamer or an apâche;
but we have escaped that difficulty, my dear
fellow, and now she is out of the house would
you mind making a list of the appointments you
know, and I shall just try over some of these new
accompaniments?”
Flaubert, still without meeting Jean’s eyes,
seated himself upon the piano stool, and trilled
out the latest drawing-room inanities of Parisian
music.
Jean hesitated, but in the end said nothing.
What can an honest man say to a liar? Nothing
that the liar does not already know, and only
that which must put an end to all connection
between them. Still, he could not breathe in the
same room as Flaubert; he took up a list of
appointments and passed into a little ante-room
where the most insignificant of the pupils were
accustomed to wait their turn; it was empty
now. The light music followed him with a mocking
insistence; it seemed to Jean to be laughing at
his fine principles and triumphantly flouting his
stubborn honour.
“I don’t know anything,” said Jean to himself
doggedly. “After all, what can I do? I don’t know
anything!”
The cold, thin music rang its perverse and sickly
sentimentality into his brain. It was like bad
wine. Jean pushed away the papers in front of
him and put his head on his hands. When he
lifted it again he looked ten years older. Something
had passed away from him never to return.
It was his trust in the integrity of man.
CHAPTER XXII
“JEAN,” said Madame Torialli, one evening
late in June. “Are you in a hurry to-night?”
“Not if I can stay with you, Madame?”
Madame Torialli smiled at him; her eyes seemed
almost too innocent for maternity, and yet it was
maternity that she loved best to express for Jean.
“I sometimes fear that we work you too hard,”
she said wistfully. “I am a vampire for my
husband, I sacrifice so many to save him and serve
him all I can; and in the end I often ask myself
what is it that I do for him? Nothing! A woman
is very helpless, Monsieur Jean.”
Jean might have pointed out that she wasn’t
really very helpless when she had at least half
a dozen men at her bidding from morning to night.
But he felt a profound pity for Madame Torialli.
He often thought Torialli did not understand her,
and he knew that he was not worthy of her;
only what man could be that? So he said:
“If I could help you the least little bit in the
world it would make me very happy, Madame!”
“You do help me,” said Madame, slowly. She
turned with him into the bronze room and sank
on a low couch near the window. It was wide
open, and summer came in through it—the soft,
fresh breeze of the early summer when the earth
has not yet grown sober with her riches, but sings
to herself in her joy, and her songs bring all the
fragrance of the fields. Even in Paris the scent of
new-born flowers was in the air. The sounds
from the street seemed far away; it was a still
night, and the soft, green curtains hardly moved
behind Madame’s golden head.
“Let us talk together for a little,” she said.
Jean sat down near her; he did not speak at
once. It seemed to Jean that he did not need
to speak much to her—she read his heart as if
it were an open book, and he liked best to keep
quite still near her, and hold it open for her to
read.
“Just lately, the last few days, you have not
been very happy,” said Madame gently at last.
“I have felt it, you know, and I have said to
myself, ‘It has not come to him as quickly as he
had hoped—his great future!’ I have said to
my husband, ‘That boy with us, we are perhaps
using him too much?’ Torialli has laughed at
me; his own success took long in coming, and
he worked for it through long, dry, fruitless years.
To him it seems that you are doing very well and
getting on very fast. But for me—my blood runs
quickly for you—I have an impatience, I want
you so much to succeed.”
“When you talk like this,” said Jean, and his
voice was not very steady, “you give me something
sweeter than success, Madame.”
She was silent for a moment.
“But I would give you success too,” she said.
It was Jean’s turn to be silent, but he was silent
because he dared not speak.
“Our good Louis,” Madame continued, when
she thought the pause had lasted long enough,
“has an affection for you almost like that of a
brother. We speak sometimes of your future, he
and I. You have done wonders for him since
you have been here, you have taken half his work
off his shoulders; but have you—I sometimes
ask myself—taken too much?”
“I like hard work,” said Jean quickly. “I
should not complain if it were even harder than
it is.”
“And you would do much willingly for a friend?”
Madame asked, playing with a large paper-cutter
on a table beside her. “I am quite sure of that.”
“I would do anything in the world for you,
Madame,” said Jean.
“I was talking of Louis,” said Madame.
Jean was silent. Madame’s little hands still
played with the paper-cutter; they looked such
helpless little hands, Jean longed to take them
in one of his and take care of them always. He
did not believe that any one could ever take care
of Madame Torialli enough. If he had known it,
his feeling for her was very much the same as
Margot’s feelings for himself; for men can have
the maternal instinct as well as women; and
quite as uselessly.
“Poor Louis!” said Madame softly. “He is
often misunderstood, I think. His parents had
good blood in them, but his mother died young,
and his father fell quickly into a bad type of
existence. Louis has been brought up by chance;
he has the instincts of his class, but I sometimes
fear his manners—”
Jean leaned forward with a nervous movement
of his hands.
“He does not appear to have these instincts
always, Madame!” he said bluntly. Madame
leaned back in her chair and sighed. She gave
up the bronze paper-cutter, as if after all she couldn’t
do anything with it.
“Ah!” she said. “Youth is so intolerant of
appearances. You have not learned yet, my dear
Jean, that appearances are almost always against
the innocent—the others know how to use them!
Louis’ manners are bad, that I grant you, but he
has a good heart. It is for that we love him!
My husband and I have learned its value in Paris.
We can trust Louis.”
Jean said nothing. If he had said all that he
thought, however, it is improbable that he could
have enlightened Madame more plainly than his
silence did.
She gave a little laugh, and he looked up and
caught her eyes.
“Do you know, Jean? Have you found out
yet that there is one very funny thing about our
poor Louis? Perhaps it is even more pathetic
than funny. He has one great—one very great
vanity—he believes that he is superlatively clever,
and he would far rather be thought guilty of a
crime than of a mistake. I think that it is the
fault of his having been, as we were saying, badly
brought up. Gentlemen are never afraid of being
thought stupid, it is in fact their prerogative—but
when a man doubts his social value, he at
once becomes sensitive as to his intellectual powers;
he falls back, as it were, upon a new line of defence,
and he will not admit being mistaken! It is the
vanity of ignorance, the worst type of vanity
there is, I fancy, because it cannot be cured. It
may make a man a Napoleon or an apâche, but
there is one thing, it will never let him be for long—himself!
I have seen Louis, who is naturally
the most honest of men, lie and invent scandal
of himself, rather than admit a bêtise which would
have made Torialli smile. You have, perhaps,
come upon this little weakness and it has shocked
you?”
Jean started. Was it then after all only stupidity
of which Flaubert was guilty? Madame had
known him for a long time. Then he remembered
the deadly terror in Flaubert’s face and his broken
word.
“The motive may be as you say, Madame;
but there are some things that a man does not
allow himself to do if he wishes to be considered—”
Jean paused.
“Yes, Jean,” said Madame very gently.
“A man of honour, Madame,” said Jean.
Madame moved a little restlessly against the
green curtain.
“Women are so ignorant about such things,”
she murmured. “But, Jean, when we do not
understand we nevertheless sometimes arrive. I
have arrived at this: I believe that Louis has
shown himself at his worst to you. He has made
some foolish mistake, and because he respects and
admires you, more than you think perhaps (what
he has said in confidence to me about you I cannot,
of course, repeat, but it has touched me), he has
tried to cover up his folly by a falseness which
has disgusted you; and you are judging him
harshly because it is one of your code sins. Have
you ever thought that it is not quite fair to use
a gentleman’s code for a man who is, perhaps
more by the fault of others than his own, not
quite a gentleman?”
Jean flushed; he felt ashamed of himself, after
all. Hadn’t he been rather hasty? He was
touched too, also, to hear of Flaubert’s feeling
for himself. He had not guessed it; indeed, he
had been conscious of a certain mutual antagonism
between himself and the other man—and all this
time Louis had been praising him to Madame!
“Well, Madame,” he said, smiling a little uncertainly.
“I will try to be less intolerant. I cannot
promise to like Flaubert, because I’m afraid I
don’t; but I will try not to show it, and perhaps
I shall understand him better after what you have
said.”
“Thank you, Jean,” said Madame. “And now
I am going to ask more of you. I want you to
write to all these addresses for me, on that nice
new rough paper I bought the other day, and
invite everyone to Louis’ ball. You see these are
all my friends, and he wants the affair to be a
great success; some of these names may help to
make it so. I specially want the two princes to
come—Prince Ivan and Prince Rudolph—tell
them La Salvi is going to sing; I must make her,
for otherwise perhaps she would refuse—the good
Salvi is a person with whom one must go very
gently. She comes to town to-morrow, I think,
and Louis has set his heart on it; it will be a
chance for us to show him that we are his very
good friends.”
Jean took the little address book out of her
hand. He thought, perhaps, that he might stoop
and kiss it, and that Madame would not be very
angry; she was not very angry. But at this
moment a knock came at the door and the butler
announced with immense ceremony, “Madame
Salvi!”
Madame Torialli gave a little cry of surprise
and delight, and sprang forward to meet her, while
Jean, after a hasty glance at the new arrival,
turned into the adjoining room. The new rough
paper Madame had mentioned was on her desk,
and Jean sat there, as he often did to write her
notes for her.
The door was open between the two rooms,
for the night was hot. As for Madame Torialli,
the new arrival had swept poor Jean as completely
from her mind as if he were an autumn leaf before
a gale. It was not every day that Salvi came
unannounced to call upon her.
La Salvi had advanced into the room, with all
the air of expecting to be met which marks a
royal personage. For in Paris Salvi was royalty.
She had the greatest voice in the world and she
had ruled it for twenty years. She was a big,
fat woman with a large red wig; tucked under
her arm she carried a small King Charles spaniel,
which yapped dolefully. He was also too fat, and
was addicted, like his mistress, to sweet cakes and
cream. Unfortunately his resemblance ended there,
for though he used his voice quite as much as she
did, he was not so gifted in its timbre.
“My dear! what a surprise and what a pleasure!
And how well you are looking!” cried Madame
Torialli. “But fancy not telling me though!
Think if I had had the misfortune to be out!”
Madame Salvi sat down with a doubtful glance
at the slim delicate chair-legs before she answered.
The dog yelped and she panted.
“I didn’t know I was coming myself,” she
explained at length. “How was I to imagine,
when I had left particular orders with the servants
always to expect me back at any moment,
that the cook should have gone to his mother’s
funeral!”
“My dear, have you had anything to eat?
But how shocking!” exclaimed Madame Torialli,
with sympathy.
“Yes, thanks, I went to a restaurant. I had
a man in the motor. It doesn’t matter, dear.
I’ve sent him away now, but I might have been
alone; if I had been, consider how I should have
bored myself.” Salvi shuddered.
Jean, looking up from his writing-table, thought
it was like the shudder of an enormous jelly
fish.
“The thoughtlessness of that class of person!”
said Salvi, with righteous indignation. “And of
all things what I dislike most is to hear any talk
of funerals!”
“Yes, my dear, I quite understand,” murmured
Madame Torialli, soothingly. “Let us talk of
something pleasanter. Who was the man in the
motor?”
“Only my doctor,” said Madame Salvi, still
gloomily. “He’s a new one, the last one interfered
with my diet; it was terrible, I suffered agonies;
he said pastry was bad for the voice, as if I hadn’t
eaten it for twenty years! This one is an improvement;
he says the great thing is to go on doing
what you like, and only to stop when it becomes
inconvenient. He says, too, that I ought always
to wear green, or certain shades of yellow with
black; they effect the nerves favourably.”
“But, my dear, aren’t they your favourite
colours?” asked Madame Torialli.
“Yes,” said Salvi. “That’s what makes it so
convenient. Still I thought I had better be on the
safe side, so I ordered ten new dresses to-day.”
Madame Salvi was not telling the truth, but then
her friend did not suspect her of it; she only
told the truth when she had nothing more picturesque
to tell.
“But, my love, what riches!” cried Madame
Torialli.
“On the contrary, what poverty!” said Madame
Salvi. “I shall have to economize; I shall leave
my bills unpaid!”
“How free you are!” said Madame Torialli
sighing. “For me, my husband utterly refuses to
buy me a new motor until next quarter day. I
think it is so foolish! ‘After all,’ I say to him,
‘one need not pay for it immediately, and by
next quarter day I shall, perhaps, be wanting
something else.’ Have you heard that our good
Louis has just built himself a magnificent set of
new rooms, and is to give a ball in them on Saturday
week? I can’t think how he can afford
it; but Torialli and I can never afford anything;
we live like the little birds!”
Madame Salvi laughed rather maliciously.
“Like the little birds who have feathered their
nests, you should say!” she replied.
Madame Torialli gave a graceful gesture of
denial.
“But indeed it is true about Louis,” she went
on. “He is rising in the world, he has become
very ambitious; you will never guess to what
he aspires now?”
“My dear, I have always guessed it,” said
Salvi calmly. “It is you who never see these
things; it was inevitable that he should adore
you——”
Madame Torialli laughed lightly.
“It is another inevitable avoided then,” she
answered. “He has not confided his passion to
me—for myself, dear friend; on the contrary
he aspires very much higher—it appears that he
wants you to sing for him on the great night itself.
When you are going to sing for us on the following
Wednesday, too, it is a little too ambitious, is it
not?”
Madame Salvi frowned.
“I am not surprised to hear that he gets on,”
she said. “If he is so little afraid of being
snubbed.”
“It is amusing, is it not?” said Madame
Torialli. “He is not like poor Torialli, who always
says that he will never let business interfere with
pleasure.”
“Well, my dear, he has no need to, since he
has married you,” said Salvi.
“You are too kind to me,” Madame Torialli
murmured; “but think of our poor Louis, so
certain that you would agree to sing for him
that he has sent out invitations already to Prince
Ivan and Prince Rudolph, asking them to hear
you.”
Jean started. He had written all the invitations
and Flaubert had given no such order; it was
Madame herself who had invited the princes to
hear Salvi.
“Mon Dieu!” cried Salvi indignantly. “Do you
know, Gabrielle, I am a good-natured woman,
but there is one liberty I do not stand lightly, and
that is a liberty about my voice.”
“Oh, my dear!” cried Madame Torialli, “don’t
be too angry with the good Louis; his head is
perhaps a little turned with his new toy,
but he has, I know, such an eagerness to have
you.”
“His head had better be turned round the
other way, then,” said Salvi, grimly. “And as
for his eagerness, as far as I know, that is no new
quality in people who ask favours. You may
tell him from me that I shall do nothing of the
kind! You have reminded me that I sing for
you on Wednesday. I shall not sing twice in
one week.”
“Our poor Louis will be horribly desolated,”
said Madame cheerfully; “but of course you are
right. However, my dear, don’t refuse to come
to the ball; that will be magnificent and quite
amusing.”
“No, I will come to the ball,” said Salvi. “And
I shan’t tell him that I won’t sing till I get there;
that will pay him out!”
Madame Torialli laughed her gay child’s laughter.
“But what a mind you have!” she said. “It
would be enough even without your voice, dear
Salvi.”
“I flatter myself that I was not born a fool,”
said Madame Salvi, complacently; and it is true
that she flattered herself.
“What has become of the new little accompagnateur?
Has he too fallen in love with you like
the last?” she said.
Jean moved hastily. There was a sudden pause
between the two ladies. Madame Torialli realized
that Jean had overheard the conversation; she
did not change a muscle of her face.
“But he is writing letters for me in the next
room,” she said. “You must ask him yourself,
my dear; Monsieur Jean?” she added.
Jean came into the room; he could not hide
his feelings as well as Madame Torialli. His eyes
were full of pain and bewilderment.
“I think you have already met Madame Salvi?”
said Gabrielle quietly.
Jean bowed very low.
Madame Salvi chuckled till she shook again
like a vast crumpled jelly fish.
“You came in first, or I was going to be very
indiscreet,” she said. “If you had been a wise
young man you would have waited and profited
by the indiscretion.”
“Madame is too kind,” murmured Jean. He
wanted immensely to get away. Madame Torialli
held him for a moment with her eyes.
“Madame,” asked Jean, “am I still to post
these letters?”
Madame stared at him.
“But why not?” she said. “Of course!”
Jean would have given anything in the world
for her to have told him to tear them up;
they were the letters to the Princes asking
them to hear Salvi sing, and Madame Torialli
knew it.
“I am consumed with curiosity,” cried Salvi.
“Dear good Monsieur Jean, have the kindness to
show me those addresses. I am an expert in
handwriting.”
“My dear!” said Madame Torialli, “that must
be for some other time—the post goes.”
Jean seized the opportunity to make his farewells
and to hurry downstairs and out of the
house. He posted the letters, and when he had
posted them he obeyed a sudden impulse and,
calling a taxi, he drove direct to Margot’s. He
felt that he wanted to hear her voice.
CHAPTER XXIII
LOUIS Flaubert was not satisfied with what
nature had done for him. It seemed to
him that he was born to rival Torialli, and so
far facts had disagreed with him. Yet he was
far cleverer than the famous singer (who, after all,
wasn’t singing any more); he could trick him and
hoodwink and bearlead him. Why, then, did all
Paris turn its head to look after one man and
remain blindly unconscious of the other?
Flaubert could not answer this question, but he
could at any rate defy it; and he thought, as
the frog thought in the fable, that a little self-advertisement
was all that he really needed. He
would draw the eye of Paris to him. And when
Paris had looked he would trust to his own wits
to keep her attention. It was for this end alone
that Flaubert was prepared to fling a small fortune
into the entertainment at which he hoped that
Salvi was to sing.
A fashionable Revue suggested itself to his
mind as the most taking thing for Paris. Paris
is very fond of Revues—so many things can be
put in a Revue that sound quite harmless when
they are sung, without being nearly as harmless
as they sound; and that is what Paris likes, because
half the charm of a bad thing would cease to exist
if it could not be made to resemble a good one.
To appear to be what you are bores Paris. She
would always dress her peasants to look like kings
and queens, and her kings and queens to look
like peasants.
To make the Revue a success Flaubert had
obtained the consent of Prince Ivan and Prince
Rudolph to appear in it. They were delighted
with the idea, but they made several stipulations.
They must have at least four changes of costume
each, and no fatigue, and Flaubert must invite
all the jolliest fellows to write them up. They
did not wish to appear as royalties; that rôle
was a bore and only suitable for republicans and
rich canaille of all sorts; but they did wish to be
thought great singers, and, of course, they knew
as well as Flaubert did that a very little voice
will go a very great way—in a Prince.
The Revue was written by a man of fashion.
This was necessary, because nobody else would
have understood how to construct each scene
merely from the point of view of the actors who
were to take part in it.
Naturally, no one wanted the play to interfere
with the necessity for becoming attitudes or the
costumes which suited them best. A critical
observer might have suggested that the dramatic
situation had no direct bearing upon the plot;
but he would soon have been disarmed by the
discovery that a plot was considered wholly
superfluous.
“Nobody,” as the author remarked, “writes a
plot nowadays; they go in for psychology and
atmosphere.” It is true that the critical observer
might still have wished to know if doing what
you felt like to an irrelevant tune was psychology,
and if “atmosphere” was most happily expressed
by ladies who were under the impression that a
few veils and half a dozen dancing lessons from
a famous danseuse fitted them for the leading
parts in a Russian ballet. But no doubt the
critical observer would not have been of sufficient
importance to receive an invitation.
The great artists were coming, but they weren’t
coming to criticize, they were coming so that to-morrow
they might see their names on the same
page as the grand monde, and the grand monde
was coming because it had to go somewhere and
because it believed that it might behave rather
worse at an affair of that sort than if it was simply
by itself.
All Paris was coming; but they weren’t coming
to consider Flaubert. They would laugh at him,
perhaps, if they noticed him at all, but they would
not even laugh for very long. And yet Flaubert
believed that if they could be made to look in
his direction they would compare him to his advantage
with Torialli!
It is so difficult for some people to realize
that very few people look in their direction at
all!
Flaubert had spared no expense to conquer his
world; it had wrung his heart, for he loved his
money only less than himself; but he had built
a theatre in the garden—a vast affair with a stage
and a dressing-room at the back, and a tent to
roof it over. The house was filled with orchids
in the shape of doves. They hung in festoons
from the walls of the dining-room downstairs, and
lined the corridor, springing from baskets of ferns
as if they were brooding over fairy nests; on
the way that led to the garden cunningly arranged
electric lamps shone on their weird hoverings.
They were like doves; but they were like doves
which had been long enough in Paris to lose their
innocence.
The entrance hall was made as much as possible
to equal Torialli’s. Louis had placed various
busts of his master there; he had hated to do it,
but he had not as yet seen his way to having his
own bust taken. He was careful, however, to
give the best light to a small charcoal drawing
of himself playing the piano, and he had chosen
one or two busts of Torialli which emphasized
the mark of the years. Flaubert always spoke
of Torialli as “Mon cher vieux maître” when
Torialli wasn’t there.
Madame Torialli looked lovelier than ever on
the great night, and yet she had worked all day
long with Louis and Jean under a tension which
might have overwhelmed a stronger woman. To
Gabrielle it had only lent an air of extra softness
and stillness. She wore a gown of the palest,
vaguest blue—a blue which seemed to have lost
itself in a white cloud; out of the cloud her bare
neck and shoulders gleamed softly, as if they were
powdered with pearls; the heavy black shadows
under her eyes brought out afresh their startling
azure innocence.
“Why Gabrielle should manage to look as if
she were going to her first communion when she
wears the lowest dress in the room, I cannot understand!”
said her sister-in-law enviously. “But
no one could suspect her of impropriety whatever
she was doing—they would think she was saying
her prayers!”
As for Jean, he said to himself that night, as
he had said to himself a hundred times before
in the long ten days which followed Salvi’s
visit:
“I must have been mistaken, she is too beautiful—she
cannot be false.”
Louis had been in such a frantic state all day
that Jean was astonished at his bounding vivacity
to-night. At breakfast he had lost a temper
which Jean had never known him to possess,
struck a terrified servant, and filled the house
with irritated nerves. At lunch he had wept and
only an hour before the first guest arrived Jean
had been forced to give him brandy, while Louis
lay in a collapse on the sofa, moaning and asking
for a revolver.
Now, however, the hour had made the man.
He received his guests with a perfect mixture of
respect and affability, and with careful shades of
manner which expressed to a nicety his reverential
delight in receiving his royal guests, his cordial
appreciation of the presence of certain members
of the best French world (friends and relatives
of Gabrielle), his camaraderie with men and women
of talent, and the temporary vogue of mere
originality; and a patronizing pleasure at the
appearance of the less important pupils. Torialli
stood a little behind him, and kept as much in
the background as his friends would let him. He
was honestly delighted to see his secretary receiving
the big world, and he had set his heart
on Louis’ success. So apparently had Madame
Torialli, for she said so at intervals throughout
the evening.
La Salvi came alarmingly early; she timed her
arrival to take place during the long dead time
of the soirée, while the princes were quarrelling
in their dressing-rooms over their respective
costumes, and taking drinks to strengthen their
nerves for the ordeal of the Revue, which could
not take place until the professional artists had
finished their evening’s work at the different
theatres.
Louis hastened half way downstairs to greet
her. Gabrielle Torialli leaned over the top of the
staircase, one slim ringless hand on the banisters
between. La Salvi shot a glance up at her, past
her obsequious host, out of her bright, malicious
little eyes.
“Ah! my dear Monsieur Flaubert!” she said.
“How early I am. You see, I am so anxious to
see you! But this isn’t a new house at all! It’s a
magician’s palace! Why, what an interior! I
shall never forget it! The truth is I am fatigued,
I can hardly stand, and I said to myself, ‘If I don’t
go early I shan’t have any time there at all!’ I’m
like Cinderella, I must run away before the clock
strikes twelve!”
Louis Flaubert’s face was a study. If she was
so tired, did she intend to sing? He dared not
ask her; Gabrielle had been so certain that she
would sing for him; but the crudity of a direct
request appalled him. It seemed as if all Paris
was listening over the banisters to hear.
The royal princes in the garden, swearing
bitterly over the enormous difficulty of getting
into black tights for their first scene—what would
they say if they did not hear La Salvi? Perhaps,
if he got her alone into the garden, he would dare
to ask the boon. But no! La Salvi would not
go into the garden.
“I daren’t, my dear man!” she said, puffing
relentlessly on up the stairs. “I daren’t; there’s
a feeling of damp in the air, and I think it’s going
to rain! Does one, I ask you, carry one’s only
child out into a storm? Do not then suggest
that I should expose my one offspring—my poor
little changeling of a voice! Ah, my little angel
Gabrielle! so, there, you are all in blue and white,
fresh from the Madonna, as it were! What a
pleasure again! And what a drawing-room,
Monsieur Flaubert! You don’t think it large
enough to sing in? My good man, don’t sing!
One cannot play every part at once. You make
a perfect host! And those pink cakes over there;
are they brought up on purpose for me? What
an imagination! Aladdin himself never managed
better with his lantern! Where do you keep
your lantern, Monsieur Aladdin? Or do the
Toriallis keep it for you? It’s just the kind of
thing, now, that I see our dear Gabrielle collecting!
Ah, here is the great Torialli himself!”
Madame Salvi sat down by the pink cakes and
motioned Torialli to the seat next to her.
“Now I think,” he said with a good-natured
smile, “that this is really capital of Flaubert,
dear old man! he has such a head on his shoulders!
I should never get on without him. Don’t you
think he has done all this very well? I assure
you I can’t think how he manages it—those flowers
now—Gabrielle and I couldn’t run to orchids like
this! I don’t believe Paris held them all; they
tell me he wired to London; did you ever hear
of such a man? You’ll sing for him to-night,
won’t you, Salvi?”
La Salvi ate another pink cake before she
answered. Flaubert was receiving Hester Lévi;
for her, too, he went half way downstairs; she
was the richest woman in Paris.
“No,” said Salvi at length. “I have a cold
in my head, I think, or the bubonic plague, or
perhaps the cholera; one never knows the beginning
of those things. Why should I sing? I am not
a gramophone to be turned on and off at everybody’s
garden party! Why don’t you sing yourself,
then, if you want so to please him?”
“I? Oh well, you know, I’m an old man now,”
said Torialli, rather sadly. “When one has sung,
as I have sung, one does not come up after the
resurrection. It is better to stay dead, my dear
Salvi—it’s better to stay dead!”
“Well, for my part,” said Salvi, taking up a
green cake instead of a pink one, “I think it better
not to die, so I take things very easily and in half
an hour I go to bed. Is that the Duchesse de
Richemont talking to your wife; because, if it is,
bring her over to me; she’s a young woman, and
she hasn’t eaten so many cakes, so she may as
well do the moving! Thank you, Torialli, you’re
a good fellow!”
Torialli was a very good fellow, and he proved
it in more ways than one; when he had given
his dear Salvi the young duchesse for her companion
he did his best to brighten up the waiting
soirée.
Still there it was! It would wait. It was
waiting to hear La Salvi, and when the element
of suspense has been introduced into pleasure
the pleasure recedes before it like the ebb of a
relentless tide. In vain Torialli moved everywhere
with his friendly compliments to Flaubert
and his good-tempered laughter; in vain Madame
Torialli, always tactful, always serene, glided about
among the guests, leaving behind her a wake of
gratified smiles and purring amour propre. The
evening dragged and people waited. The princes
sent a message in from the theatre to ask when
La Salvi was coming out, or were they to come
in to hear her? because if they were, they would
have to take off their tights, which would be really
too many kinds of a picturesque nuisance; but at
any rate something must be done promptly or
they would be bored.
Flaubert took his courage in both hands and
approached La Salvi. La Salvi went on talking
to the Duchesse de Richemont and did not appear
to see him coming. When he had reached her
a hush came over the two drawing-rooms. Madame
Salvi looked up and smiled.
“What!” she said. “Has Aladdin a new
surprise for us?”
“My dear Madame,” said poor Flaubert, “do
not talk as if I could work a miracle when I come
to ask for one. You will take away the little
courage I have if you do that!”
“You have enough,” interrupted Salvi softly.
“Rest assured, Monsieur Flaubert, I think you
have enough!”
“Madame, will you do me the infinite honour,
will, you make me the happiest of men, and sing
for us to-night?” Flaubert persevered waveringly,
though he felt the conviction ebbing out of his
voice. Ah! he had said it at last; the perspiration
broke out on his forehead, he felt, as he afterwards
expressed it, as if white ants were eating his spine!
“But I am shocked! I am desolated!” cried
Madame Salvi. “To disappoint you is a horror
to me! But was it what you expected, that I
should sing to-night?”
“I do not dare to say expected, Madame,”
murmured the wretched Flaubert. “But I had
humbly hoped——”
“Ah well! if you did not expect it,” said Salvi.
“So much the better! Still I regret to have to
take away your humble hopes. Wednesday, I
sing for our dear Torialli; I must preserve my
poor little efforts till then.”
“Ah, Madame!” pleaded Flaubert. “Just one
song, your magnificent organ——”
“My dear good Flaubert, impossible!” said
Salvi, slowly rising. “I have eaten six cakes,
the duchesse is a witness, in the last ten minutes.
I never eat before I sing, only afterwards. Consider,
then, that I have sung. And now, my good
friend, I must really go. My glass slipper has begun
to pinch in such a manner that I am sure in five
minutes it will be off. A thousand thanks for
the entertainment of a life-time. I do not readily
forget such attentions as yours, my dear Flaubert.
Tell our good princes I would have given much
to see their costumes and to hear them sing, of
course! Their parts must be ravishing! So clever
of you to have an entertainment in the garden.”
And La Salvi was gone.
It was Madame Torialli who suggested to Louis
that they should have supper at once instead of
waiting until after the Revue. Flaubert was
almost too crushed to accept the suggestion and
to send out appropriate excuses to the princes.
The guests rallied a little under the approach
of food. The princes came in rather sulkily, but
as they found some particular friends in the dining-room
they recovered enough to behave a little
worse than anyone had quite expected, which
was gratifying to Flaubert, for they only behaved
well when they were bored. A famous danseuse
who had just arrived was quite shocked; she was
accustomed to quieter manners. Only Madame
Torialli’s untroubled child-like blue eyes remained
as serene as ever. She took the boisterously
pronounced attention of Prince Ivan and his roars
of laughter with an air of such perfect blandness
and self-possession as to rob his behaviour of half
its barbarism.
“Una and the Lion,” the Marquis de Trévaillant
pointed out to Romain D’Ucelles. Romain lifted
his eyebrows and looked at Madame Torialli.
“Ah, my dear Marquis,” he said. “Did Una
first incite the Lion before she tamed him?”
“You see too much,” said his friend.
Romain laughed.
“That robs my speech of half its sting,” he
murmured. “One need say so little, you know,
if one has been fortunate enough to see too
much!”
Jean overheard his uncle and hated him. He
felt that he must speak or die.
“Madame Torialli is trying to save the situation,
my uncle,” he said stiffly. Romain laughed.
“Ah! Is that you, my dear Jean?” he said.
“Surely it must be, one cannot have two such
ingenuous nephews! You must not think I underrate
your clever friend. She is one of those kind-hearted
women who are so fond of saving situations
that they create them first. It is the true instinct
of the reformer! Our charming ancestress Eve,
now, I fancy, had the same motive in urging the
fruit upon Adam. She had no opportunity, you
see, to raise his nature until after the fall! Think
of it! Eternity in a garden with a good man!
What a horrible idea! It is enough to intrigue
any woman!”
“Farceur!” laughed the Marquis de Trévaillant.
“And now we have eaten, what happens next?
It is another hour before the Revue can begin.
What a tedious affair! And these artists of yours,
when do they come, Monsieur D’Ucelles?”
“Flaubert has just sent a message to hurry
them,” said Jean over his shoulder, as he hastened
away to where Flaubert was beckoning him.
“What can I do? What can I do?” moaned
the distracted Louis. “You must go and play,
but I doubt if they will listen to you for an hour—if
only you could sing comic songs!”
Jean glanced round the decorated dining-room,
the tables loaded with delicate foods, the rich
and exquisite dresses of the women, the carefully
valeted men with their well-cut evening clothes,
and the weary, hard, cruel faces! It seemed to him
as if these over-civilized and pampered creatures
had reverted in heart to the lowest level of nature,
and as if their life had become the mere struggle
of wild beasts for temporary desires—creatures all
teeth and claws for their particular morsel of
prey! Fortunately at this moment the artists
were announced and good-naturedly offered to
postpone their own suppers until after the Revue.
The Revue began in the most brilliant manner;
everybody on the stage was anxious, self-conscious,
and jealous; every one in the audience was amused.
These were their best friends making themselves
ridiculous under the impression that they were
appearing particularly attractive; what more could
an audience want? Prince Ivan and Prince
Rudolph fulfilled every one’s expectation of the
absurd. Prince Ivan managed to fall over a footstool
which had been most carefully placed out
of his way as far as possible, and swore audibly
in the middle of his song. Prince Rudolph forgot
his stage directions, and turned his back to the
audience so that his voice floated away into
somebody else’s garden. Still, considering they
were royalty, they managed very well and were
immensely applauded.
The femmes du monde danced beautifully; at
least they wore practically nothing and moved
about the stage very gracefully while some one
was playing the piano.
The famous danseuse was overheard remarking
that as far as she could see they might just as
well have executed that kind of dance in the bathroom
to the noise of a hot-water tap; but that
was put down to professional jealousy.
The real artists went through their parts perfunctorily
and tried to flirt with the society ladies;
only they became a little frightened because the
society ladies went so far.
Just as every one was beginning to warm to the
work, and the author had received his first call
for saying something wholly disgraceful about a
thinly veiled identity whom everybody guessed,
Salvi’s prophecy came to pass. The gathered
grey clouds came down with unequivocal ardour;
no light unmethodical showers which might be
trusted to trickle through the tent unobtrusively,
but the unhurried obstinacy of a thorough soak.
It was in vain that Jean rushed madly to and
fro with rugs and waterproofs to cover the thin
roofing. It was in vain that Flaubert expostulated
and implored. Every one was desolated,
every one had been charmed and delighted; but
couldn’t under any circumstances stay and risk
a wetting.
Flaubert stood disconsolately in his grand new
hall and the crowd of his hastily departing guests
swayed all around him. They passed away with
the relieved celerity of those who have borne
enough. Their perfunctory thin thanks hardly
lasted till they reached the door. The fable had
ended. The poor frog had puffed his longest and
his loudest. Now he had burst, and nobody
for a single moment had mistaken him for the
ox!
Jean was honestly distressed for Louis, and as
for Madame Torialli, she remained there to the
very end with such grave and sympathetic eyes,
as to make Jean feel almost more sorry for her
than for Flaubert. He thought that she looked
more than ever like an angel as she stood there
among the drooping flowers that looked so curiously
like doves; and he did not think that the angel—like
the flowers, perhaps—had been rather too long
a time in Paris.
CHAPTER XXIV
A WONDERFUL thing had happened to Jean.
Gabrielle had smiled at him. Her eyes,
serene and secret, had for one swift moment met
his with sudden tenderness.
It made Jean, on his way home to Rue Lalo,
almost too happy to breathe.
The May night swept his blood with hurrying
magic, and in his heart a tiny thread of golden
melody was born.
It was the hour when Paris awoke; rich,
expensive, passionate Paris, and launched itself
into swift, tireless motors, racing to and fro through
the transient pleasure of the night. The Champs
Élysées stretched before him like a coil of swiftly
flashing jewels. Fire and speed, and the gay
faculty of easy living, flamed its message home
to the world. It was to this great stream that
Madame Torialli belonged—belonged, that is, by
birth, by position, by success; but Jean no longer
believed that she shared its life; the gay world
was such a small affair. The music in his brain
sang a different story to him. Gabrielle was a
child at heart, she was like the soft unfolding of
the spring.
It was easy to think of her on a night full of
stars. He knew that Paris could not count for
her any more than for him. It was a mere
glittering screen between them and their joy.
Jean flew up his steep, dark stairs in the Rue
Lalo, and found Margot tidying up his things.
The most fatal mistake a woman can make, in
the eyes of a young man, is to be present when
he is thinking of somebody else. Margot had
made it and she saw by Jean’s eyes that she had
made it, and she did not feel as if she could ever
see anything else.
Jean recognized that Margot was unhappy, and
this angered him—he was by nature sympathetic—but
there are moments in life when even to the
sympathetic the sorrows of others bear a grotesque
insignificance. Jean hoped that Margot would not
tell him why she was unhappy. It seemed to
him frankly incredible that anyone need be unhappy
who lived in the same world as Gabrielle’s
smile.
And Margot had come there to tell him—still
she, too, for the moment saw the wisdom of putting
it off.
They fell back on her music. Jean threw himself
on the music-stool and suggested that Margot
should sing first this and then that. Never had
Jean given her such a comprehensive and variable
singing lesson or paid less attention to what she
sang. At last the music came to an abrupt end;
there was no more music Margot could sing, and
it appeared that there was nothing more for either
of them to say. Jean lit a cigarette and sat there,
shaking his foot to and fro in an agony of suppressed
impatience. He could not very well turn Margot
out of his room, and yet her very presence made
the music that was within him less—the melody
seemed dwindling like a tiny stream choked by
a fall of sand.
And then Margot spoke.
“Jean,” she said very simply, “you’ve been
for six months at the Toriallis’ now; do you like
it there?”
It was an unfortunate choice of subjects—the
last thing that Jean wished to discuss with Margot
or with anyone else was the Toriallis; one of
them he wished to forget, the other was too sacred
for him to dare to remember. He dropped his
eyes and shrugged his shoulders.
“Yes, I like it there well enough,” he said.
“It has drawbacks—one cannot have the flower
without the root—music...” He stopped, the
words choked him. To speak of music was to
hear the sound of Gabrielle’s voice.
“Music?” echoed Margot, and really a candid
judge might have thought Margot’s voice as
satisfactory as Madame Torialli’s. However, a
young lover is not a candid judge; Margot’s little
echo irritated Jean.
“What do you mean, Margot?” he asked
impatiently, although he did not really want to
know what Margot meant.
“I somehow thought,” she answered, “that
you hadn’t had much lately—not real music, I
mean. Everything at the Boulevard Malesherbes
seems so—so mixed up with other things. They
are of the great world, aren’t they—the Toriallis—she
goes out so much—and they entertain a
great deal. I wondered if you ever got enough
time and freedom for your real work?”
“It’s very good of you,” said Jean, “to bother
about me....”
“Oh, Jean!” said Margot.
Jean bit his lips—he knew he mustn’t talk like
this to Margot—he made a great effort, an effort
so great that it showed.
“Honestly, I get time enough,” he said. “And
you? Flaubert is all right, isn’t he? Your
voice has improved greatly.”
Margot rose to go—and Jean thought that he
had succeeded in hiding his relief; still he felt
a little ashamed of being relieved.
“One thing I do want you to remember, Margot,”
he said, helping her on with her jacket. “Nobody’s
voice will ever mean what yours does to me, and
if I ever can—we are friends, aren’t we? Here
are your gloves—and you’ll come again sometimes
on Sunday evening, won’t you? Are you sure
you can get home alone all right?”
Margot nodded—she was quite sure she could
get home alone all right; the difficulty would be
if she were not alone. The door closed after
her.
Jean returned to the piano—but the joy was
gone now—the mysterious Ariadne thread of
Gabrielle’s smile had broken—instead he could
see only the little cloud in Margot’s eyes—he
could hear the break in her voice when she said,
“Oh, Jean!” She used to say that so differently
when he was ill and she was nursing him.
He flung over the music-stool and rushed downstairs—they
were long stairs and he caught Margot
up before she had reached the bottom. He seized
her hands and turned her round so that he could
see her face.
Margot was crying.
He made an exclamation of regret and self-reproach
and dragged her upstairs again without
a word. Margot expostulated faintly—but she
followed.
“Now,” he said, drawing her into his one armchair
and seating himself beside her. “What
is it—I know I’ve been a beast—but it can’t be
helped now—I won’t be any more. Tell me,
Margot.”
“If I tell you you’ll be so angry, Jean,” whispered
Margot.
“Well, I’m angry now,” said Jean; “I’m angry
with myself—I can’t be angrier—what have you
done?”
“It isn’t me,” said Margot, wiping away her
tears. “It’s just Paris, I suppose—it’s just everything—but
I can’t help it, Jean. I don’t like
the Toriallis.”
Jean frowned; he drew a little further away
from her. “Suppose we leave them out?” he
suggested.
“I would if I could,” said Margot; “but you
see, Jean—she does do the accounts with Flaubert.”
“Do the accounts with Flaubert! Do you
mean Madame?” Jean rose to his feet. “You’re
mad, my dear,” he said brusquely. “Madame has
nothing whatever to do with the business—what
accounts do you mean?”
“They all say so,” said Margot; “and after
all, it’s the Toriallis’ business, they must come
in somewhere!”
Jean swore at the business.
“They don’t,” he added, and as Margot seemed
to fancy that swearing had not yet cleared up
the situation. “But what’s wrong with your
account?” he added. “Flaubert promised me
to charge you merely a nominal sum.”
“It’s four hundred francs for a dozen lessons,
Jean,” said Margot.
Jean started as if he had been stung.
“You’ve read the figures wrong!” he asserted.
She showed him the figures, but she kept
her hand over the rest of Monsieur Flaubert’s
letter.
“There’s some mistake,” Jean urged.
“No—” said Margot. Then she said timidly:
“It’s not the kind of thing a girl can make a mistake
about, Jean. I wish it was.”
Jean looked at her quickly.
“You remember Monsieur Picot?” Margot went
on in a very low voice. “Monsieur Flaubert
offers to teach me—in that way, Jean—instead
of the money, I mean! If I can’t pay—and of
course I can’t pay four hundred francs down—but
don’t look like that, Jean!”
Jean, however, continued to look like that—his
one overwhelming desire was to have the thick,
pink neck of Monsieur Louis Flaubert between his
fingers. He no longer resented Margot’s trouble; for
the moment it was his own, he had forgotten Gabrielle—all
he remembered was his little comrade facing
Paris, with her intrepid eyes—it made it no less
wonderful that she faced it in great part for the
sake of Madame Selba, with the brandy bottle
behind her; and to see that little figure menaced
and outraged by Monsieur Flaubert was more
than Jean felt called upon to bear. In the explosion
that followed Margot became conscious of
three things—and the first was wholly good,
because it showed her how much Jean still cared
for her; and the second was magnificent, because
it proved Jean to be what she knew he was—a knight
and hero; but the third was not quite so consolatory,
because it occurred to Margot that in Jean’s
eyes the Toriallis had no fault at all—apparently
they were to be avenged too. It was obvious
that Jean considered that Flaubert had deceived
them. Particularly Madame, of course—this
lâcheté on the part of Louis would be incredible
to her!
“Yes—I also think,” murmured Margot, “that
this would be incredible to Madame.”
“But of course!” said Jean; “all evil would
be incredible to her!”
Margot said nothing—she wondered if Jean
knew how old Madame Torialli was.
Jean was very kind and very protective; on
the way home he explained to Margot that if
there were to be any serious difficulty about the
four hundred francs he would get his uncle’s assistance;
it was an affair of honour and concerned
his whole family—the D’Ucelles would protect
Margot. “It is I who have driven you into this
mud,” Jean asserted. “Rely on me to rescue
you from it!”
Margot should have felt very much relieved.
The whole affair was taken out of her hands, Jean
was not in the least angry with her; he had been
wonderfully angry with Flaubert—and he informed
her that he was going to speak, with reservations,
of course, to Madame. Perhaps Margot was very
much relieved—that at any rate was the impression
which Jean carried away with him.
CHAPTER XXV
MADAME Torialli had once told Jean that
if he ever wanted a private talk with
her he might send his name up to her maid early
in the morning, and she would see him in the
dressing-room. She often received visitors there
while she was putting those finishing touches
which, besides making her look ten years younger
than her age and the most dangerous woman
in Paris, slipped into the interviews themselves
and were apt to make the rawest materials change
swiftly into the most miraculous results. Jean
hardly knew why he had not taken advantage
of the invitation before; he did not realize that
what held him back was the reverence of a great
passion which had now reached its maturity and
was unconsciously afraid of its own strength.
He had not gone to her room because he had known
how much it would mean to him.
Even now he trembled as he sent up his name,
and almost hoped that the maid would bring him
down a refusal; but she did not. Madame would
receive him. Jean followed her blindly to a new
quarter of the house over the noiseless carpets, and
through passages which seemed full of light and
air, the discreetest colours, and an absence of
superfluous things. Jean felt that he would have
turned and run downstairs if he had had to knock
at the door himself; but the maid knocked for
him. And when he heard Madame’s “Entrez
donc!” his courage came back to him again. It
was a part of Gabrielle’s charm that no situation
was ever unusual with her, and when Jean found
himself a moment later seated in a chair beside
her dressing-table he felt as if he had been there
all his life, and as if it were the most natural thing
in the world.
Gabrielle was dressed in a soft green chiffon
peignoir, with pale blue forget-me-not embroideries.
Her maid had just finished piling up the golden
masses of her hair (an astounding quantity of
which was still her own), and she was seated in the
shaded light of a big bay window, delicately manipulating
various small boxes and bottles in front of
her, and carrying into the operation the masterly
light handling of an artist. Her room was painted
a rich creamy pink, and everything in it was either
mother-of-pearl or of such material as exactly
matched it. The door opening into Madame’s
bedroom was shut, but another door stood open
leading down four marble steps into a spacious
bath, very deep and wide, taking up the entire
room and lined with old dutch tiles.
Gabrielle gave Jean her left hand while she
continued to use a long thin brush in her right.
“So you’ve come at last,” she said, “to see
me—ah, how vainly, my dear Jean—trying to
cheat old time! I don’t dare look at you, for
I know how terribly well youth appears early in
the morning, and I don’t at this moment want
to be reminded how little one can manage to
replace its beautiful bloom! All these little pots
and pans help, but when you are thirty-five
you’ll know what it feels like to remember that
you can’t for one moment get on without them!
And even then you won’t know the dreadful pang
a woman has when she discovers a new wrinkle
and has to fall back on a paint brush. When
she doesn’t, poor, dreadful old thing, any longer
dare to trust to the use of her smile!” Gabrielle
glanced over her shoulder at Jean as she spoke,
and if she did not trust to the use of her smile
she was needlessly sceptical of her powers; for
if there had been anything in Jean which had
not wholly succumbed to her it succumbed to
her then. A stupid woman would only have
owned to thirty years, for Gabrielle looked very
little more; but Gabrielle knew that to have
made Torialli’s career in Paris required time, so
that it would be wiser to allow for it. It was
very wise, for Jean perfectly believed her; and
she was forty-three.
“As if you needed to talk like that, Madame,”
he said in a low voice. “One never thinks of
youth or of age when one is with you, for you
have all that is most beautiful in either; one
thinks only of—you.”
“As a reward for that sweet little speech,”
said Gabrielle laughing quietly, “I shall ask you
to manicure my hands. I know well enough that
those clever musician’s hands of yours can do
anything they are put to. Here are mine, then;
make of them what you can!” And Gabrielle
slipped both her dainty, slim, little hands into
his, while he held his breath and wondered. They
were ringless and soft as a child’s, and the palms
and finger-tips were pink as sea-shells. Their
touch made his blood run like fire.
“Here are the things,” said Gabrielle lightly.
She was smiling a little, she saw that Jean dared
not meet her eyes, and she felt him tremble. She
had given him her hands, it was true, but she had
surrendered nothing; she was apt to give a great
deal, but she had never been known to surrender—the
surrendering invariably came from the person
to whom she gave. This is the secret of success
in passion. Jean had forgotten the existence of
Margot; all the mind he had at present and all
his strength were needed if he was to keep his
head. Meanwhile he took up Gabrielle’s manicure
things, and if he did not make a clumsy job of
it, it was entirely due to the fact to which Madame
had already alluded, that he had great skill in
the use of his hands. Still, Gabrielle could have
done it better herself. Gabrielle let a silence
come between them, but she saw that she must
not let it last very long. She watched the colour
rise in Jean’s face with her innocent, untroubled
eyes.
“I wish I could believe that you came here
only to see me,” she said at last. “But I don’t.
I am sure you had some other intention, or you
would have been at work long ago. You see, I
know what a faithful workman my little Jean is.”
“I want only to see you, and if I work it is
only for you,” muttered Jean. “And if——”
“No, that little box on the right,” said Madame
coolly. “Torialli looked all over Paris for it.
You see, I wanted it to match the rest. You
have no idea how difficult it is to get a perfect
match in mother-of-pearl. Well! what were you
saying? Oh yes! you work only for me—that
is charming of you, my dear boy. And now I
think you’ve worked on that finger long enough!
Not even a genius like you can climb past perfection.
Then there is nothing you want to ask me?”
“If I dared,” said Jean, suddenly crushing
the hand he held.
“No! don’t spoil your work!” said Madame
quickly. Jean pulled himself together. He
dragged Margot’s name into his mind and held
it there.
“Yes, yes,” he said; “there is something
about a poor girl in trouble. I want your help,
Gabrielle.”
Again she let her Christian name pass; he
hardly dared to believe it, but perhaps she had
not heard.
“Ah! I am glad you came to me,” said Madame.
“Tell me about her, Jean! it’s not the dear funny
little person who’s to marry the grocer, is it? I
rather hope it is, you know. I should always
love her for having nursed you when you were
ill.”
“Yes, Madame, it is my friend—it is Margot
Selba,” said Jean, thinking how differently in
her tolerant sweetness Gabrielle spoke of little
Margot from foolish Margot’s vindictive unreasoning
bitterness about Madame!
“Margot Selba!” said Gabrielle slowly. “Surely
I must have seen her! isn’t that the little brown-eyed
one I discovered singing in Louis’ room?
Yes, I am sure it must be—her eyes were so
frightened, and I remember thinking that brown
eyes always show terror so easily. Now, I have
never seen blue eyes frightened.” And Madame
opened her own a little wider. Jean looked so
long at them that Madame had to move her hand
to draw his attention back to his work. “What
about this little person?” she asked.
“She is in most terrible distress,” said Jean.
“She works for her mother and herself. I want
you to help me about the account; it’s a very
large one, and she can’t pay it. She’s asked for
a month’s grace, and if she doesn’t get it she’ll
be turned out into the streets of Paris; and,
Madame, it seems to me for the lessons she has
received from Flaubert altogether too large a
sum!”
“Oh, my dear boy, how terrible!” cried
Gabrielle quickly. “It seems to me that all
girls with voices have to support a mother! I
have heard, ah! so many such sad tales, and
you believe it all, of course!”
“These are my friends—I know that it is true,”
said Jean, simply.
Gabrielle shivered a little.
“Ah! how hard life is!” she murmured. “We
sometimes ask God why? But there is never any
answer.”
“I knew—I knew that you’d feel like that,”
said Jean. “I should have come to you before,
there is no one like you in the world for courage
and kindness. You’re—you’re so beautiful,
Gabrielle!”
This time he knew that she had heard him.
“Hush! Hush, my child!” she said gently.
“We must think, mustn’t we? Do you know,
years ago when I was first married Torialli’s
pupils came to me very often—oh, with such
tragic stories! How I cried over them, and I
would go to him and tease him to alter the
accounts, and he was too good to me—dear old
Torialli—he always altered them, and he worked
so hard. And then one day he was ill; I shall
never forget it. He said to me ‘Little one, I
must go on working as hard as I can, because
you see my work is cheap.’ And Jean, it was
I who had made it so by my foolish woman’s
sympathy. I had made my husband’s work
cheap! I promised him then, and I have always
kept it, never to interfere with his business
again.”
“But she isn’t Torialli’s pupil, you know;
she’s Flaubert’s,” Jean explained. “And it’s only
that I do not feel the account to be fair!—I have
said I think it is too much. If it is necessary
to pay it—I will try to do so, but it seems
to me that Flaubert has asked more than he has
earned!”
Gabrielle pressed his hand.
“You dear, dear boy!” she said. “You bring
me back my youth, that happy, happy time when
I was generously ignorant and impetuously wrong!
How I loved that time, and how I love these things
in you! But, my dear Jean, in the old days to
be a Knight Errant was a simple matter; you
rushed out into a wood, found a demoiselle in
distress, and ran a wicked villain through the
body. Things are not quite so simple nowadays;
the distress is the same, but everything else is
different. The demoiselle probably is entirely in
the wrong. The villain is possibly a kind-hearted
misunderstood person, trying to get his deserts,
and if you run him through the body you will be
certain to suffer for it, without at all profiting
the lady. As for me—what can I do to help
you? If I give four hundred francs to this poor
girl, which would be my impulse, of course, however
much a secret we make of it, in fact the
moment we attempt to make a secret of it, it
would be all over Paris by to-morrow! And I
should simply ruin my poor old Louis! I don’t
speak of my good name, though that wouldn’t be
worth an hour’s purchase. Paris has a quick
brain, as you know, and unless a quick brain is
also a very pure one it is apt to jump at incredibly
ugly conclusions. I should be accused of privately
buying one of Louis’ pupils off to cover up a scandal!
And it will be the same if you do it for the
little Margot. And what right have I—or you
either, my dear Jean, to interfere with poor Louis’
business? He may have his reasons for pushing
this affair, reasons which you and I know nothing
at all about, but which, if they were any affairs
of ours, might appear to be very good ones. Only,
don’t you see, mon petit, they aren’t?”
Jean sat silent under Gabrielle’s quick, soft
words; they fell upon him and drowned his reason.
He had finished his work on her delicate hands,
but they still lay in his, and though he had ceased
to work it is possible that they had not. He
was so near Gabrielle that he could see the quick
heaving of her breast, and feel her very thoughts
run into his answering blood. He tried valiantly
to keep his head clear and to think of Margot;
but what is a boy of twenty-three in the hands
of a woman like Gabrielle when he loves her,
and she does not love him? He fought, fought
better than Madame had expected he would fight,
but that is all that can be said for him.
“Then you can do nothing?” he whispered.
“I don’t say that,” said Gabrielle very gently.
“I even hope we may be able to do something;
but nothing immediately, nothing rash! Will you
leave it all to me, dear Jean?”
Jean hesitated. Even now he hesitated.
Gabrielle withdrew her hands. He caught them
back.
“Yes! yes!” he stammered. “Everything—everything
to you, Gabrielle!”
Then she let him kiss her hands. She did not
need to give him any more. She had only, after
a moment or two, to say:
“But Jean—I trusted you——”
That was enough. He left her.
It is easy to manage a man who has a certain
kind of honour. You touch his pride, and you
touch the one thing in him more fundamental
than his desires, and by which he can control them.
“I cannot think,” said Gabrielle to herself, “why
Louis finds him difficult to deal with; men are
so stupid.” Then she rang for her maid and
finished her toilette. Madame Torialli never
wasted her time.
CHAPTER XXVI
“IS that thing yours?” asked Cartier.
It was Sunday evening in the vast solitude
of Cartier’s music room. There was nothing in it
but space—a couple of armchairs and the blur
of tobacco smoke. The sound of Jean’s playing
on Cartier’s perfect grand reached his listener’s
ear without anything to deaden or blur the clear
stream of the falling notes.
“Yes, it’s mine,” replied Jean wearily. “At
least I suppose it is—it may be an imitation of
yours, mon maître, for anything I know to the
contrary. I was half dead with sleep last night
when it came to me. Flaubert broke down, you
know, after his ball, and went off for a week—so
I’ve been doing his work for him—and, to tell
you the truth, I prefer his work to his company.
But you like it—this little idea? I call it ‘Autumn
in Spring’—because I feel it is that moment when
the dead leaves are still in the ground and yet
life stirs.”
“I don’t know whether I like it or not,” said
Cartier slowly, “but you should do nothing else.”
“That is easily said,” Jean answered a little
bitterly; “only there must be a basis for bread
and butter—I used to think one had nothing to
do but to sit and hear music come, but when everything
else went I found myself getting up and
going after it. Counterpoint and harmony—even
the study of les vieux—they weren’t worth the
smell of a cup of coffee and a fresh petit pain; and—well,
it’s thanks to you, Cartier, that I’m not
starving now.”
“It’s not thanks to me,” said Cartier quietly.
“But, Jean, you’ve got to get back to counterpoint
and harmony and les vieux! I never much
cared for the Toriallis for you; it’s a footman’s
place with the jingle of the piano thrown in. Now
you’re on your feet again I have another idea.
I want you to throw it up and come with me to
Russia for a year. I promised to go back to play
through the winter at St. Petersburg, but I have
a notion to go off somewhere into the country
for the summer. They’ve fine forests there and
silences deeper than anything you’ve ever dreamed
of. Friends of mine have offered me a house the size
of a Paris boulevard. I don’t want to go alone—but
if you’d come with me it would give you
time enough to yourself to hammer out a little
stuff—and I should see then better what is in
you. For me, unless I have one of les jeunes at
my side I grow top-heavy and old-fashioned.
Let it be a bargain then—you shall have all expenses
paid and whatever the good Toriallis have seen
fit to dole out to you thrown in!”
Jean drew a deep breath; then he got up and
crossed the big, sounding salon to Cartier’s side.
“That would be worth Heaven to me, mon
maître,” he said, “and it’s rather like the other
place having to say ‘No!’ But to tell the truth
I’m in what’s called a difficult position. I hadn’t
meant to consult you about it yet, but I can’t
let you think I give up your offer lightly. I’ve
discovered that Flaubert is a thief and a fraud!
He’s worse. Mon Dieu! it’s like touching dirt
to speak of him! And Madame trusts him!
Torialli too. I’ve got my proofs, but I’m hesitating.
When he comes back I shall confront
him with them and ask him to resign; if he will
not, I suppose I must expose him. But it will
be a shock I should like to spare them.”
Cartier looked up quickly at Jean and puffed
cautiously at his pipe for a moment; then he
said in a tone Jean had never heard him use before:
“Sit down, my boy. Now what is it exactly
you propose to tell the Toriallis?”
Jean flushed a little; then he sat down and
poured out in a quick, flashing stream of indignation
the pent-up suspicions of six months, with
the sequel of Margot’s preposterous account.
“You’d better not tell Madame Torialli that,”
said Cartier quietly, when Jean had finished.
“Part of it wouldn’t be any news to Madame,
the part about the accounts. They make them
up together. Of course I never knew to what
length they carried it, but every one has known
for some time that there was something a little
sharp and backstairs about the business—only
what will you—it’s the best method in Paris?
I don’t say Torialli knows, probably not, but
he must have to make an effort to remain ignorant!
Au reste——” Cartier shut his eyes, opened them
and shrugged his shoulders. “You won’t break
Madame’s heart by pointing out the treachery
of ce beau garçon of hers, but you’ll annoy her
pretty considerably, and I shouldn’t choose to be
the one who annoyed le petit ange Gabriel—she
likes to be left to make her own annunciations!”
“What do you mean, Cartier?” asked Jean.
He leaned forward; his eyes flickered like a trapped
animal’s—they seemed almost to grow into Cartier’s
face.
“Mais—c’est connu,” answered his companion.
“Surely you are not ignorant that Torialli’s
secretary is—en général—the lover of Madame?
She doesn’t lose her heart, you understand, but
she finds it works better. She has a great deal
of discretion, but Flaubert doesn’t happen to be
of the right genre. So it’s leaked out. Don’t take
it too hard, my boy—all Paris knows it—except
Torialli. There again he opens his mouth and
shuts his eyes—and Madame fills it with what
she thinks good for him. I think we may agree
that it usually is good for him, though many men
would prefer a more meagre diet, administered
with a little less discretion.”
Then Cartier got up and walked away from
Jean; he could not bear to see the boy’s face.
“It is not true,” muttered Jean, “it is not
true!” but he did not get up and go after Cartier.
For a long while neither of the two men spoke.
Then Cartier said:
“I wish you’d come with me to Russia, Jean;
it’s the best place for you to get the taste of
Paris out of your mouth! Paris is like this!
You won’t get on here. You don’t understand
her little ways. You think of things as if they
were made of jewels; they’re not: they’re made,
for the most part, of paste. When one knows
that one pays the price for paste, but to pay as
you do is to be ruined.”
“To tell the truth I had no idea how far things
had gone. I believed it was only a case of the
occasional bleeding of the rich—that one winks
at oneself—it relieves the system, as it were—and
at the same time there is always a profit for
the anæmic. Torialli is a good fellow, he wouldn’t
want more than that; but she’s ambitious—she’s
gone, even for Paris, a little far. Still, if I were
you, I’d get that account of Margot’s paid. I
wouldn’t fight her!”
“Don’t think of her like that!” cried Cartier
sharply, “or you’ll go mad. Think of her as
she is, a clever intrigante, with her hand in the
pocket of the public.”
“The Devil!” cried Jean, springing to his
feet. “Don’t push me too far, Cartier. I’ve
stood a good deal because I suppose you believe
what you say——” Jean stopped.
Cartier nodded. “You, too,” he said quietly,
“believe what I say. You’re at liberty to knock
me down if it’ll relieve you. After all, I let you
in for this thing. Only keep hold of the truth.
Madame Torialli isn’t worth breaking a stick
for, let alone a man’s life! You’ve got talent,
my boy,—pull yourself together and use it. You
happen to have seen a good woman, even though
you haven’t, I fancy, looked at her. Still, they
exist, you know, and will continue to, but they’re
not as a rule quite as clever as Madame. We’ll
go to Russia next week if you’re ready.”
Jean made no answer; he hunted blindly for
his hat, found it, and rushed out into the street.
It was a stifling May night; the hot air from
the pavement rose up to meet the sultry breath of
the sky. Jean did not feel it, it even seemed to
him to be cold. He knew nothing, and saw nothing.
A merciful blankness had descended upon his
mind. He had this much of an idea—that he
must go—but he was not sure where, or how.
When he crossed a street he passed through the
traffic as if it were something flung upon a screen.
People shouted after him, but he paid no attention
to their cries. He did not dream of committing
suicide, he did not feel as if there was anything
as real as suicide. He neither knew nor cared
where he went, though he was conscious of a feeling
of ease as the hard glare of the Champs Élysées
melted into the softer darkness of the Bois.
There were trees now, and whole empty spaces
where the little figures of men and women ceased
to jerk past him like children’s painted toys.
By and by he came to a seat in the shadow of a
big tree. It was quite dark and empty and Jean
huddled there, cowering beside it as if it could
afford him some kind of shelter against a special
danger. He knew now that he was afraid. There
was still something that might happen to him.
He might remember Gabrielle’s face.
The birds twittered and murmured to each other
in the trees, the far-off voice of Paris came lightly
to Jean, without the menace of its accustomed
speed. He tried to think of Margot and picture
what she was doing, but something quickly warned
him not to do that. If he thought of Margot he
might remember what he was trying to forget;
and then it came; though he had shut his eyes
and covered his face with his hands he saw her.
He saw Gabrielle’s face.
She was smiling at him as she had smiled last
night with serene and intimate tenderness.
The merciful blankness was over now, pain
poured into him, pain so abominable and heart-rending
that he cried aloud. He could not bear
it. He must not bear it, it was as physical as
scorching flame. He saw the way she moved,
her dresses and the crystal heart she wore and
played with in her delicate hands.
The birds were quiet now, but it was no longer
any use their being quiet. He heard instead every
tone of her delicious voice, its little soft falls into
contralto like the depth of velvet, or its sudden
lifting into clear, sweet notes like the chiming of
a silver bell. She was horribly near him, the night
was full of her, he could even breathe the exquisite
faint perfume of her hair.
He flung himself face downwards on the ground.
Oh, to grow into the stupid, painless earth, to
feel without sense or sound the slow pulsations of
the grass! To lose himself, to forget himself and
her!
The sweet, soft night passed over him, hour by
hour, until it seemed as if the earth below him
turned in sleep. He lifted his face up to the sky.
There was no moon and all the stars were small
and glimmered far away. At first he thought still
that it was the night; and then he knew that the
darkness was moving.
The dawn wind rose and sent its stealthy
whispering through the trees. The birds awoke
and called short, sharp liquid cries of half-awakened
love. Then a gust, borne across the speeding
darkness, broke in a soft shower of rain. It was
the last gift of the retreating night.
Jean stumbled to his feet and crept back to Paris
to meet the new, intolerable day.
CHAPTER XXVII
JEAN knew that there was one thing more he
had to do, and it seemed to him as if it were
the only thing in the world left to him to do.
He could procure the four hundred francs for Margot.
He found his Uncle Romain in the best of humours;
his wife had gone to the country to see her mother
for some days, and he felt half-empty Paris
delightful.
“Ah, my dear boy!” he cried as Jean came into
the smoking room. “You will never know freedom
until you marry! No bachelor can understand
the joys of escape, for he has nothing really to
escape from. Freedom, I have always thought,
is the absence of restraint; and I take it one must
have restraint in order to lose it. The absence of
restraint is merely another way of saying ‘Your
dear aunt has gone into the country to see her
mother.’ What a blessed institution one’s family
is! To me this aspect of the mother-in-law at
some little distance in the country, liable to
occasional attacks of indigestion which she mistakes
for heart failure, has about it something that is
very touching, almost sacred! I believe in preserving
these relationships. All relationships are
to my mind a direct ministration of Providence to
prevent the dangers of intimacy. This, Jean, is
a very important thing for you to remember. I
sometimes think you overlook the value of relationships;
a mind that is not divided against itself is a
bore. I see that you are having one of those attacks
of concentration at the present moment! Light a
cigarette, and you will find the liqueurs behind the
billiard table—take one and think of something
else! It is much too hot to be in earnest!”
“Mon oncle,” said Jean, waving his hand to
decline the cigarette, the liqueur, or any other
consideration than his purpose, “I have worked
here now for three years in Paris, and I have not
asked you for money, have I?”
Romain leaned back in his immense armchair
and opened his eyes very wide with a charming
smile in them.
“But my dear boy,” he said, “do not tell me
that at the end of three years you know less of
life than at the beginning? I have never heard
such a confession of failure. Besides, you can’t
sincerely mean to ask me for money now—I never
lend, you know, I borrow, and I don’t even borrow
as often as I could wish; but that, however, is not
my fault. It would charm me to be of service to
you, of course, but tell me about it; if it was the
good Liane, now, I should be tempted; I met her
the other night, I thought her looking a little—well,
as if she should begin to lay up pears for the thirst.
She won’t, you know, last much longer. They say
she eats nothing and sleeps in her stays. But the
years that take away from us everything else add,
in spite of all we may do to prevent it, to the figure.
It is, indeed, the only addition they seem prepared
to make for us.”
“It is not Liane, man oncle,” said Jean. “I want
to tell you the story; you know, after all, we’re the
same flesh and blood, and it is good blood too,
isn’t it? I think you’ll feel as I do, that something
horribly bad must be stopped.”
Romain did not become serious, but something
in Jean’s tone silenced him. He listened to his
brother’s son, and as Jean told him the story of
Flaubert’s baseness to Margot he felt a curious
twinge of sentiment; he almost wished for a moment
that Jean had been his own son instead. He was
silent when Jean had finished, and he let his cigarette
go out; he almost stopped smiling.
“Oh well, you know, my dear fellow,” he said
at last, “the man’s canaille, that’s all! there are
those in Paris! Certainly one mustn’t dun a
woman for money when one is in search of her
favour, that is understood. Yes! it is rather base,
that money! He must have bourgeois blood.
It reminds one of politics! It is quite the trick
of a politician that! Yes, your friend Flaubert
leaves an unpleasant taste in one’s mouth. I
should like to help you. I don’t think I can, but I
should like to. Why didn’t you marry the little
Pauline? It is such a pity you let her slip into
Pierre de Lodéve’s hands. Of course, it is his
aunt’s doing; she is an admirable woman, so pious!
She made the girl make magnificent settlements.
I always rely on truly religious people for the
business instinct. They manage very thoroughly
on earth and we are told that they also lay up for
themselves treasure in heaven. I can well believe it.
Now, as to the four hundred francs—I have no
money at all at present, but I happen to know
that your dear aunt has a thousand francs, I think—a
sum in a little blue bag in her desk, which she
has set apart for a Home for Girls. I went there
with her once; it was a most painful sight, and I
thought unnecessary. There were two hundred of
them; I did not think France had so many plain
daughters; they were to be saved from destruction,
and really, as I pointed out to your aunt at the
time, nature had already provided for their safety.
It is a pity to try to improve upon Nature’s
methods. Now one might very well, I think, take
the money to help a pretty girl! I remember
that the little Margot is pretty?”
Jean smiled in spite of himself.
“Yes, Uncle Romain,” he said, “very pretty.”
“And your friend, your charming friend, Madame
Torialli, is she also interested in the case?” asked
Romain carelessly. Jean flushed to his forehead.
“I—I have not spoken to her of it lately,” he
said in a stifled voice.
“Ah well,” said Romain, “perhaps you are
right. She is a sympathetic woman, but, of course,
in your situation it would be difficult to unmask
Flaubert.”
“I may have to leave the situation,” said Jean.
“It will be impossible for me to stay longer with
Monsieur Flaubert.”
Romain looked at him again, and again he was
sharply conscious of the wish that Jean had been
his son. It was absurd, he would have disliked
to have a son of that age very much, and three
years ago he had actually despised Jean; he despised
him now a little, but he liked him more than
he despised him.
“Bon!” he said. “I will go and fetch the
little bag; your aunt will be enraged, but I shall
tell her the goodness of the case and conceal the
prettiness of the girl; and, Jean, I cannot give you
anything for yourself. I should, you know, rather
like to. Go and order a suit at my tailor’s. You
know the man? I never pay him. No, don’t
thank me, only if you should find yourself in any
particularly bad place—or rather in no place at all—I
have a little châlet at Joinville by the river.
You might run down there for a few days; they’ll
look after you all right—only let me know first, as
it is sometimes occupied, and be careful that you
never let your aunt have the address. I do not
think the climate would suit her. You are sure
you won’t have anything to drink? I have an
engagement to lunch out, or I should ask you to
stay.”
“Thank you, Uncle Romain,” said Jean simply.
“I felt sure you would help me. I fear I shall
not see you for some time. Jacques Cartier has
suggested my going with him to Russia for a year;
I think that I shall go.”
Romain glanced keenly at his nephew; then he
looked away.
“And the Toriallis,” he drawled indifferently,
“you will not return to them?”
“It is not likely that I shall return to them,”
said Jean.
Romain rose to his feet and tapped Jean lightly
on the shoulder.
“Mon vieux,” he said, “this good Cartier is
playing the part du bon Dieu. It is a part I should
rather like to play myself; but I have never learnt
how, I think I am too young for it!
“It does not matter, for I have always found
there are others to whom the rôle comes more
naturally.
“You will do very well to accompany Cartier
to Russia; when you come back you will find
many things different. A year is a very long
time in the life of a beautiful woman of middle
age; it requires an infinite amount of pains to
hide it; whereas at your time of life it is less than
nothing to the appearance; but the amount of
experience that it contains—mon Dieu, that is
colossal! I assure you, at your age I once lost
my heart, the whole of it—and I had an immense
amount at the time—twice in three weeks! It
was a charming period; I nearly drowned myself;
but as a matter of fact I took a little voyage into
the country with a friend, and it came to quite
the same thing in the end! Try it, Jean—try
it—au revoir!”
Romain followed Jean out into the hall with
his hands in his pockets, and his agreeable smile
slightly deepened as he exclaimed: “After all, it
is in my power to offer you something; should
you care for any of those walking sticks in the
stand, they look a little stouter than yours, pray
take one—but avoid any that have initials.
“I don’t suppose Monsieur Flaubert will give
you much trouble; should he wish more satisfaction
than you intend to give him, you will of course
call on me; but ces gens-là prefer the law. Look
out your trains and pack your things before you
pay your little visit! You leave your best respects
for your aunt Marie, of course—doubtless they
will be worth a thousand francs to her—au
revoir!”
Jean stepped back and shook his uncle’s hand
again; their eyes met and a light passed between
them; they were of the same blood and at length
they understood each other.
“Adieu,” said Jean simply, and he picked out
the strongest stick in the hall, without initials,
while Romain looked on smiling.
CHAPTER XXVIII
THERE was no meal that Flaubert enjoyed
so much as his breakfast. It seemed to
him to be the great opportunity of appearing as
a grand seigneur; for, in his opinion, to take your
breakfast in a blue boudoir leading from your
bed room, attired in a flowered silk dressing-gown,
sufficiently expressed every claim of ancient blood.
It was here that he received the younger secretary
and dictated to him any part of his correspondence
he could induce Jean to accept as the
business of Torialli, and tried to impress that
impatient youth with the belief that the remainder
of his letters were the subdued tributes of every
young and beautiful woman in Paris.
To-day Flaubert had reached his second cup of
chocolate before Jean’s knock sounded at the door.
He did not at once notice anything unusual in
Jean’s appearance except that he carried a new
and rather formidable walking-stick.
“That memento d’un Apâche, my dear fellow,
you might have left in the hall,” Flaubert observed
“Think of my china!”
“I will try to bear it in mind,” said Jean briefly.
Flaubert took a mouthful of egg without salt
and made a face. There was something discomposing
in the voice of Jean D’Ucelles; it sounded
like that of a man who is standing on the edge of
his patience.
“In the first place,” said Jean, approaching the
table, “I should be obliged if you would give me a
receipt for this,” and he laid in front of Monsieur
Flaubert Margot’s bill, with the notes for four
hundred francs. “I come on the part of Mademoiselle
Selba,” Jean finished in the same dry
manner.
“Business now, Jean!” cried Flaubert, playfully
lifting a reproving forefinger. “You know
my habits! You don’t want to make a dose of
my morning chocolate. All this affair of the little
Selba, see, let us go into it later! You settle her
little bills for her do you, then, hein? Shocking,
shocking! And I who thought you so fresh from
the country!”
“I would like the receipt now, Monsieur,” said
Jean; his nostrils twitched, and as he moved nearer
Flaubert his hand opened and closed about the
handle of his walking-stick.
Flaubert looked furtively at the bell; it was at
some little distance from the table. He pushed
away his unfinished egg and signed the paper.
“Thank you,” said Jean, putting the receipt in
his pocket. “And now, Monsieur Flaubert, it is
my regrettable duty to show you why I have not
left my stick in the hall—if you wish to defend
yourself I will give you time to reach the poker—but
I am afraid I must stand between you and
the bell. I will do my best to avoid the china.”
Flaubert was not usually a quick man, but he
acted with the agility of a cat at this crisis of his
career. He had no intention whatever of trying
to defend himself, but he lost no time in disappearing
swiftly under the table.
There was a crash of china, the cloth was swept
on to the floor, the azure carpet was drenched in
broken foods, priceless blue Worcester lay in fragments,
and then Jean kicked the table over and
clutched the flowered dressing-gown. Shriek after
shriek rose on the air; the present of Romain did
its work with swiftness and skill; only one of
Flaubert’s vases was broken, and this disaster was
simply owing to his having clung at the wrong
moment to one of his companion’s legs.
Suddenly the cries ceased, the portière at the door
was thrown aside, and Gabrielle stood in the room.
Jean flung down his stick and turned to face her.
Flaubert cringed, white and trembling, against the
useless shelter of the table. None of the three spoke
for a moment.
Then Madame closed the door behind her and
floated forward into the middle of the room; her
eyes wavered and passed over the broken crockery,
they glanced lightly at Louis’ prostrate form, and
rested on the open window and the blue, spring sky.
Something extraordinarily different had come
into the atmosphere of Flaubert’s room; nothing
had changed, chocolate still dripped on to the azure
carpet, and yet Jean could have sworn it was all a
dream. Nothing violent had happened, nothing
violent could happen in the presence of Gabrielle
Torialli.
She stood there, with the sun on her hair, in a
grey Japanese silk gown; there were faint peach-blossom
embroideries here and there, and the lining
looked like a soft pink cloud.
“I came down rather early,” said Madame
gently and impersonally. “Torialli has just
received a message from one of the Princes, who
has sprained his ankle and wants to amuse himself
with a lesson, chez lui! Torialli would like you
to go to him, Louis—you know the Prince’s ways.”
Self-pity choked Flaubert completely for a
moment; then he managed to gasp out: “How
can I? Madame—ask yourself—like this?”
Gabrielle’s grave, child-like eyes rested on him
for a moment, and then returned dreamily to the
broken vase.
“Jean,” she said, “do you know, I think I
should pick up the table and these things. Servants
are always so in the way. It is a bad example for
them too, to see broken china. As for you, Louis,
certainly you had better not go to Torialli in that
dressing-gown; it is an extraordinarily good one.
Your taste in such matters is doubtless infallible.
Still I should recommend you to change it; with
that difference, and a brandy-and-soda to put you
in your usual spirits, you should do very well.
Do you know, I think I should go at once, Louis.”
Flaubert groaned, dragged himself up by the
table, and with a vicious look at Jean crept sullenly
out of the room.
Gabrielle sank into a low chair by the window;
she leaned back peacefully, her little feet in slippers
of peach blossom crossed at her ankles. She was
smoking a very delicately scented cigarette, and
she looked like a child holding out a flower. When
Jean turned towards her she put down her
cigarette, her lips began to curve, a little flame of
merriment sprang into her blue, untroubled eyes.
She threw back her head and laughed aloud; the
music of her laughter shook Jean’s heart; it was
like the liquid leaping notes of a blackbird in the
spring. She laughed till the tears came into her
eyes; then she grew grave again.
“And now, Jean,” she said, “we must have
this affair out, you and I. Alas! alas! why
will men think a great big stick an inducement
in getting what they want? Even you, Jean—who
are, in so many ways, so civilized—even you
must break a Sèvres vase and upset a table! Why
did you not come to me instead?”
“Madame!” stammered Jean. Gabrielle raised
her eyebrows; he had not called her “Madame”
twenty-four hours ago. “I had to do what I
have done, it was an affair of business, a matter
that I could not have troubled you with. It was
very base.”
“Ah,” said Gabrielle softly, “my dear Jean,
you speak as if I was a child. I have lived long
enough in Paris to have seen ugliness! Shall I
tell you the history of this great affair of yours?
Indeed I know it already. In the first place, it
began with that stupid bill of which you told me,
non?” Jean nodded. “Yes—and then I told
you to wait,” Gabrielle continued. “I had my
reasons for telling you to wait, Jean. When I say
reasons I mean more than reasons—those I would
have told you. I had suspicions! It was foolish
of me, I see that now, not to have confided those
also to you. But I shrank from putting the reputation
of an old friend altogether at the mercy of
a new one. Torialli and I are not sudden persons;
for five years we have known and trusted Louis—we
have lived next door to him—with a covered
passage; it has been the intimacy of a little household
at peace with each other. And suddenly
I had these suspicions! I won’t weary you with
when they began—I am so ignorant of business
that I daresay you, or even a cleverer woman
than myself, would have begun to suspect long ago.
Little by little I felt the dissatisfaction of the
pupils—and above all, Jean, I felt—yours—”
Madame paused a moment; then she added
very softly: “that meant more to me, perhaps,
than any other proof.”
Jean said nothing; he sat at some little distance
from Madame, and most of the time he kept his
eyes on the floor; he would have kept them there
all the time if he could.
“Eh bien!” said Madame, “I waited until
you told me of that bill—sent to your poor little
friend. I knew then it was time to make sure.
Men are human, Jean; it occurred to me that
the account was absurdly large, and I guessed the
reason. I guessed,” said Madame, leaning forward
and touching Jean’s arm with her delicate finger-tips,
“I guessed that Flaubert intended to make
terms out of his account—she is very pretty, the
poor little Selba! Ah Jean! one does not live
as I live and keep free from these things; the poison
of them is in the air!”
Jean started; he had not expected this; with
all his heart he wished that Gabrielle had not
guessed the truth.
“And this is why you came here with your big
stick, mon cher!” she finished softly. “After all,
perhaps you were wisest—I would have used
another method for dismissing our old friend—but
then I am older than you—I have grown
tortuous and worldly wise!” Gabrielle paused a
moment; she expected Jean to say that she was
not older and that she had not grown worldly
wise; but Jean sat there obstinately, with his eyes
on the broken vase; and said nothing. He was
leaving a great deal for her to do this morning;
he had missed several of his cues; still Gabrielle
could do a great deal, and she had never in her
life missed a single cue.
She did not miss one now; she sighed gently,
the delicate ghost of a sigh, then she said: “Jean,
petit Jean, since it is all over, since we can consider
Flaubert as already gone, you will stay with us?
You will take his place?”
At last Jean turned his eyes on her, and she
saw a most peculiar look in them; it was the same
look she had seen once in the eyes of a dog
which had been run over in the street.
“Jamais, Madame,” said Jean in a very low
voice, “jamais!”
“Mais pourquoi pas, Jean?” she murmured;
her hands moved towards him.
Jean rose to his feet; he felt dizzy and uncertain
of himself; he could not stay near her any more.
“One moment, Jean,” said Gabrielle quietly,
“sit down again.” Jean obeyed her. “What has
happened?” she asked very simply.
Jean bowed his head in his hands; he could not
tell her what had happened—she might make
him believe that it had not happened; she was
almost making him believe it now.
“Don’t you think you owe me the truth?”
said Gabrielle at last. It was she who rose now;
she stood before him with the dignity of a proud
woman who has not been justly used. She threw
back her head and looked at Jean. “Indeed it
seems to me you owe me that,” she said.
Jean got up and came close to her.
“Madame,” he said, “just now you said to
me that you wished me to take Flaubert’s place.
What is Flaubert’s place?”
Gabrielle drew back a little; she did not attempt
to defend herself, or to deny anything. She
merely met Jean’s eyes.
A long silence fell between them. Jean breathed
quickly, he tried not to throw himself at her feet.
It was he who felt ashamed.
Then she said, with all the exquisite proud
gentleness of a friend who has been cruelly wronged.
“Alors, c’est fini, Jean?”
She stood there still, but it seemed to Jean as
if all the light had gone out of the room. He
moved towards the door without answering her;
but as he reached it he turned back and looked
at her as if he would keep her face forever in his
eyes.
“C’est fini, Madame,” he muttered, but she
did not need his words to see that it was finished.
Gabrielle stood quite still for a moment after
he had left her.
“Pauvre petit Jean!” she murmured softly.
“He came straight from Heaven—but alas! men
like that are never very practical. They serve
God better than they serve women!”
Then she knocked at the door which led to
Flaubert’s bedroom.
“Bon, mon ami,” she called, “it is all over, I
have dismissed him. I fancy the sprained ankle
of Prince Rudolph has recovered by now. It
will not be necessary for you to go to Torialli—for
I have an idea he is out. There is just half
an hour before the pupils come.”
It has been said already that Madame Torialli
never wasted her time.
CHAPTER XXIX — Transcriber’s Notes
THE days had no separate meaning to Jean;
they came upon him with the orderly
formation of advancing waves, line upon line, they
hung above his little island of consciousness,
ominous, cold and dark, to break and cover him
under bitter waters.
He was not conscious that he was unhappy, but
he knew that he was fighting with the hours. They
were formidable and long and quite extraordinarily
empty; now and then, indeed, to vary their insistent
monotony, he would feel a sharp stab at the
sight or scent of the flowering spring. A girl with
a lilac plume in her hand, the flutter of the new-born
leaves in the garden of the Luxembourg, the gaiety
in the eyes of a child—these things Jean had never
known before, but he knew them now—they were
the signals of his retreating joy.
Cartier watched him anxiously; the look of
youth had wholly passed from the boy’s face; it
was grey and old, without expression. The
features seemed sunk and the vivid eyes no longer
held their light.
It was not Jean who answered Cartier when he
spoke to him, but a creature that seemed dragged
up from the depths of the sea. He was held on the
surface for a moment by the brief compulsion of
Cartier’s voice, and when it ceased he sank back
without a struggle into an alien element.
Jean was very docile, he followed Cartier meekly
to his rooms for his last week in Paris. What he
liked to do best was to walk up and down, up and
down the long music room with the measured
tread of a wild thing in a cage, but he never did
this unless he thought Cartier was out. There
were only two things Jean thought of, one that he
might have killed Flaubert, and the other that he
had not stayed with Gabrielle; but these two things
never left him; they rose in turn and possessed
his mind in an orderly routine that did not vary.
He might have killed Flaubert, and he had not
stayed with Gabrielle. Cartier interrupted him
sometimes and Jean had to keep his thoughts back
from one of these great wheels, and then as Cartier
withdrew his claim Jean’s mind sprang back
released, and he found himself once more turning
on his inexorable wheels.
As the days passed he grew nearer the hidden
boundary where madness lurks; sleep withdrew
from him, at first imperceptibly and gently, a new
elastic lengthening of the hours of the night, and
then altogether, with a complete and terrible absence
of unconsciousness.
For twenty-four hours Jean was bound on his
two wheels swinging in the chaos of his breaking
mind. Then Cartier came to him again. Jean had
to hold his head for a moment to hear what Cartier
said; a strange idea flickered into his mind, without
root or continuity, that it might be easier to
kill Cartier than to listen to him; but he put it
away; he could still listen.
Cartier said: “Jean, I’ve heard from Margot;
she wants us both to go to hear her sing to-night;
it’s a great occasion, she has an important part
in the new Revue at ‘Le Matin.’ It’s our last
evening, you know, in Paris. You’ll come, won’t
you, to hear the little Margot?”
“I have already said good-bye to Margot,” said
Jean slowly; and then he murmured half to himself:
“I asked her if she prayed for me, and she said,
‘Ah Jean! the Blessed Virgin knows that I have
prayed.’ I do not want to hear her say that again.
Her eyes are like a sword.”
“She doesn’t want us to go and see her,” Cartier
explained carefully. “She writes that it’s the
music she wants you to hear—they’ve given her
a good part.”
“But you don’t know what her voice is like,”
expostulated Jean impatiently. “If I were dead
and Margot sang I should know it was her voice,
and I should say, ‘Go slowly, little Margot, fold
your wings!’ She is eager like a child, or a bird
that must run up into the sky and cannot wait to
get there before he sings.”
Cartier nodded; he understood Margot’s letter
now. “Bring him, please bring him—it’s not me—I
never was any good to him, but when I sing
he’ll listen—I think it will make a difference—a
difference to him, I mean.”
Cartier hoped that it might make a difference,
for he remembered, as he looked at Jean, that men
had gone mad for love, and he thought that they
must have looked singularly like Jean, as Jean
looked now.
“You’ll come,” Cartier pleaded. “You see
you’ll help her; she says you’ve done such wonders
for her voice. Why, it’s quite famous now! I had
the pleasure of mentioning the fact to our good
Liane the other night. I said, ‘You must really
go and hear the little Selba, ma fille, she is getting
a réclame here in Paris, and they say she owes it all
to your little musician.’ Ma foi! The good
Liane put back her big white teeth and wished she
could bite. I was not at all sure she wouldn’t—so
I ran away!”
Jean made an intense effort to listen; it seemed
to him that he ought to know who Liane was;
then he gave in—after all, it would be easier to give
his consent than to have to talk any more. “I’ll
go,” he said briefly.
It was strange on his way to the theatre that he
should keep seeing Flaubert and Gabrielle in the
streets, and it was trying, too, because he had to
think two thoughts at once, and this is not easy
without practice. It makes the mind go so quickly
like the long, quivering, grey band in a threshing
machine.
They would pass, Gabrielle and the fat little
secretary, in a flying motor, only the next minute
to turn in at a lighted café—though they might
at the same time be standing on the steps of a
house above the street. They even on one occasion
leaned out of a window to laugh, and stood
just in front of Jean on the pavement simultaneously;
but one thing was always the same;
they were laughing at Jean because he had not
killed Flaubert and because he had not stayed with
Gabrielle.
Cartier pretended not to see them; he kept his
eyes carefully in front of him, and walked a little
stiffly, with his hand on Jean’s arm. Jean wasn’t
at all sure that Cartier was not laughing at him
too; perhaps after all it would be simpler to kill
Cartier; he at least was only capable of being in one
place at a time.
They arrived at the big lighted hall; it was full
of little tables and men smoking; there were women
too, with jewels on their necks. And lights, lights
everywhere, and the orchestra played soft, gay
music; but they none of them had a real existence;
they all seemed to Jean like a hideous game of
make-believe, played in order to drag him away
from his two great ideas.
The Revue was very like all Revues; it was
the latest thing; so that there wasn’t a joke that
was born as late as yesterday or would be remembered
beyond to-morrow. Still it was very clever,
very neat, and topical and gay, and the music
was that fine malleable French art, which is as
clear cut as a cameo and as hard as a problem
in algebra.
Jean did not pay any attention to it because,
of course, he knew it wasn’t real; and then he
suddenly saw Margot. He couldn’t think what
she was doing on a pretence stage and in a place
that looked like a hall and was as hollow as a
bad nut; it puzzled and annoyed him to see her
there, but he did not doubt Margot’s reality.
You could, if you were as clever and as cruel
as sin, make up anything on earth, but you couldn’t
invent Margot.
“C’est la petite Margot,” he muttered; then
she sang.
All the music he had ever thought of, all the
music he had ever heard, sang with her; and
sang to set Jean free.
He did not realize at first what was happening
to him. Her voice drowned the bitterness of
his heart, there was something in it deeper than
bitterness.
The hours he had starved in Paris drove their
old meaning into his brain; he saw the Parc
Monceau in the cold spring dusk, the smell of
the coffee-stalls at dawn came back to him, and
the flash of the lights outside the theatre in the
rain.
All these were in Margot’s voice, for out of Jean’s
sufferings she had made her little songs; and
as he listened he felt as if a band of iron had
been broken, a band that was pressing his life
out.
He was no longer possessed by phantoms. He
saw instead the little figure on the stage. She
stood close to the footlights; a tiny frown came
between her brows; she always looked like that
when she was very anxious to please Jean.
The song was over; she had only been singing
one of the clever light songs like all the others,
but she had put into it the whole quality of her
voice; and she had pleased Paris. She stood
there while the hall rang with applause and flowers
fell right and left upon her.
The orchestra began again, they played a little
haunting melody which laid a sudden hand upon
Jean’s heart. He knew this music better than
any other, for he himself had written it for Margot.
It was called La plainte de l’amour.
Out of the flowers and the lights his gaze met
Margot’s.
Margot’s eyes were very serious, very haunting,
very grave. Her voice rose like a creature spreading
great wings.
It was Jean’s music, La plainte de l’amour, but
it was Margot’s heart.
Paris, that loves its dear, light mockeries, loves
simple pathos too; not quite so much, perhaps;
but the Manager was not dissatisfied with Margot’s
applause.
Margot bowed and smiled and stooped to pick
up her splendid trophies; and Jean sprang to
his feet, waved his hat and stick and applauded
like the rest. Cartier saw that the transfiguration
had come to him; he was no longer a creature of
a different world. He hesitated for a moment,
then he said: “You will come round to her—now?”
But Margot’s turn was over; she had slipped
away with her arms full of flowers.
Jean put his hand on Cartier’s shoulder.
“No! no!” he said. “I will not go round,
mon vieux! Cela suffit—we have already parted!
“But to-morrow you and I will go to Russia.
I feel to-night as if after all I might do something—who
knows—life is not over at twenty-five.
Something has made a new man of me to-night,
and I have an idea that this new man will make
a little music. Mon Dieu! broken music, perhaps,
but one cannot have everything complete! At
the bottom of all beauty I find that there is
grief.”
And Cartier sighed and smiled and said nothing.
After all there was nothing to be said. Margot
was right; she had made a difference; but the
difference was for Jean.
THE END.
Printed at The Chapel River Press, Kingston, Surrey.
Obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected. Variations
in hyphenation and accents have been standardised but all other
spelling and punctuation remains unchanged.