And my father pushed aside his books.
O young reader, whoever thou art,—or
reader, at least, who hast been young,—canst
thou not remember some time
when, with thy wild troubles and
sorrows as yet borne in secret, thou
hast come back from that hard, stern
world which opens on thee when thou
puttest thy foot out of the threshold
of home—come back to the four quiet
walls, wherein thine elders sit in
peace—and seen, with a sort of sad
amaze, how calm and undisturbed
all is there? That generation which
has gone before thee in the path of
the passions—the generation of thy
parents—(not so many years, perchance,
remote from thine own)—how
immovably far off, in its still repose,
it seems from thy turbulent youth! It
has in it a stillness as of a classic age,
antique as the statues of the Greeks.
That tranquil monotony of routine
into which those lives that preceded
thee have merged—the occupations
that they have found sufficing for their
happiness, by the fireside—in the armchair
and corner appropriated to each—how
strangely they contrast thine own
feverish excitement! And they make
room for thee, and bid thee welcome,
and then resettle to their hushed pursuits,
as if nothing had happened!
Nothing had happened! while in thy
heart, perhaps, the whole world seems
to have shot from its axis, all the
elements to be at war! And you sit
down, crushed by that quiet happiness
which you can share no more, and
smile mechanically, and look into the
fire; and, ten to one, you say nothing
till the time comes for bed, and you
take up your candle, and creep miserably
to your lonely room.
Now, if in a stage coach in the depth
of winter, when three passengers are
warm and snug, a fourth, all besnowed
and frozen, descends from the outside
and takes place amongst them,
straightway all the three passengers
shift their places, uneasily pull up
their cloak collars, re-arrange their
"comforters," feel indignantly a sensible
loss of caloric—the intruder has
at least made a sensation. But if
you had all the snows of the Grampians
in your heart, you might enter
unnoticed: take care not to tread on
the toes of your opposite neighbour,
and not a soul is disturbed, not
a "comforter" stirs an inch! I had
not slept a wink, I had not even
laid down all that night—the night in
which I had said farewell to Fanny
Trevanion—and the next morning,
when the sun rose, I wandered out—where
I know not. I have a dim recollection
of long, gray, solitary streets—of
the river, that seemed flowing in dull
silence, away, far away, into some invisible
eternity—trees and turf, and the
gay voices of children. I must have
gone from one end of the great Babel to
the other: but my memory only became
clear and distinct when I knocked,
somewhere before noon, at the door
of my father's house, and, passing
heavily up the stairs, came into the
drawing-room, which was the rendezvous
of the little family; for, since
we had been in London, my father
had ceased to have his study apart, and
contented himself with what he called
"a corner"—a corner wide enough
to contain two tables and a dumb
waiter, with chairs à discretion all
littered with books. On the opposite
side of this capacious corner sat my
uncle, now nearly convalescent, and
he was jotting down, in his stiff military
hand, certain figures in a little red
account-book—for you know already
that my uncle Roland was, in his expenses,
the most methodical of men.
My father's face was more benign
than usual, for, before him lay a proof—the
first proof of his first work—his
one work—the Great Book! Yes! it had
positively found a press. And the first
proof of your first work—ask any
author what that is! My mother was
out, with the faithful Mrs Primmins,
shopping or marketing no doubt; so,
while the brothers were thus engaged,
it was natural that my entrance should
not make as much noise as if it had
been a bomb, or a singer, or a clap of
thunder, or the last "great novel of
the season," or anything else that
made a noise in those days. For what
makes a noise now? Now, when
the most astonishing thing of all is
in our easy familiarity with things
astounding—when we say, listlessly,
"Another revolution at Paris," or,
"By the bye, there is the deuce to do
at Vienna!"—when De Joinville is
catching fish in the ponds at Claremont,
and you hardly turn back to
look at Metternich on the pier at
Brighton!
My uncle nodded, and growled indistinctly;
my father—
"Put aside his books; you have told
us that already."
Sir, you are very much mistaken,
he did not put aside his books, for he
was not engaged in them—he was
reading his proof. And he smiled,
and pointed to it (the proof I mean)
pathetically, and with a kind of
humour, as much as to say—"What
can you expect, Pisistratus?—my new
baby! in short clothes—or long primer,
which is all the same thing!"
I took a chair between the two, and
looked first at one, then at the other,
and—heaven forgive me!—I felt a
rebellious, ungrateful spite against
both. The bitterness of my soul must
have been deep indeed to have
overflowed in that direction, but it did.
The grief of youth is an abominable
egotist, and that is the truth. I got
up from the chair, and walked towards
the window; it was open, and outside
the window was Mrs Primmins' canary,
in its cage. London air had agreed
with it, and it was singing lustily.
Now, when the canary saw me standing
opposite to its cage, and regarding
it seriously, and, I have no doubt,
with a very sombre aspect, the creature
stopped short, and hung its head
on one side, looking at me obliquely
and suspiciously. Finding that I did
it no harm, it began to hazard a few
broken notes, timidly and interrogatively,
as it were, pausing between
each; and at length, as I made no
reply, it evidently thought it had
solved the doubt, and ascertained that
I was more to be pitied than feared—for
it stole gradually into so soft and
silvery a strain that, I verily believe,
it did it on purpose to comfort me!—me,
its old friend, whom it had unjustly
suspected. Never did any music
touch me so home as did that long,
plaintive cadence. And when the
bird ceased, it perched itself close
to the bars of the cage, and looked at
me steadily with its bright intelligent
eyes. I felt mine water, and I turned
back and stood in the centre of the
room, irresolute what to do, where to
go. My father had done with the
proof, and was deep in his folios.
Roland had clasped his red account
book, restored it to his pocket, wiped
his pen carefully, and now watched
me from under his great beetle brows.
Suddenly he rose, and, stamping on
the hearth with his cork leg, exclaimed,
"Look up from those cursed books,
brother Austin! What is there in
that lad's face? Construe that, if you
can!"
And my father pushed aside his
books, and rose hastily. He took off
his spectacles, and rubbed them mechanically,
but he said nothing; and
my uncle, staring at him for a moment,
in surprise at his silence, burst out,—
"Oh! I see—he has been getting
into some scrape, and you are angry!
Fie! young blood will have its way,
Austin—it will. I don't blame that—it
is only when—come here, Sisty!
Zounds! man, come here."
My father gently brushed off the
captain's hand, and, advancing towards
me, opened his arms. The next moment
I was sobbing on his breast.
"But what is the matter?" cried
Captain Roland, "will nobody say
what is the matter? Money, I suppose—money,
you confounded extravagant
young dog. Luckily you have got an
uncle who has more than he knows
what to do with. How much?—fifty?—a
hundred? two hundred? How can I
write the cheque, if you'll not speak?"
"Hush, brother! it is no money
you can give that will set this right.
My poor boy! have I guessed truly?
Did I guess truly the other evening,
when—"
"Yes, sir, yes! I have been so
wretched. But I am better now—I
can tell you all."
My uncle moved slowly towards
the door: his fine sense of delicacy
made him think that even he was out
of place in the confidence between son
and father.
"No, uncle," I said, holding out
my hand to him, "stay; you too can
advise me—strengthen me. I have
kept my honour yet—help me to keep
it still."
At the sound of the word honour
Captain Roland stood mute, and
raised his head quickly.
So I told all—incoherently enough at
first, but clearly and manfully as I
went on. Now I know that it is not
the custom of lovers to confide in
fathers and uncles. Judging by those
mirrors of life, plays and novels, they
choose better;—valets and chambermaids,
and friends whom they have
picked up in the street, as I had picked
up poor Francis Vivian—to these they
make clean breasts of their troubles.
But fathers and uncles—to them they
are close, impregnable, "buttoned to
the chin." The Caxtons were an eccentric
family, and never did anything
like other people. When I had ended,
I lifted my eyes, and said pleadingly,
"Now, tell me, is there no hope—none?"
"Why should there be none?"
cried Captain Roland hastily—"the
De Caxtons are as good a family as the
Trevanions; and as for yourself, all I
will say is, that the young lady might
choose worse for her own happiness."
I wrung my uncles hand, and turned
to my father in anxious fear—for I
knew that, in spite of his secluded
habits, few men ever formed a sounder
judgment on worldly matters, when
he was fairly drawn to look at them.
A thing wonderful is that plain
wisdom which scholars and poets
often have for others, though they
rarely deign to use it for themselves.
And how on earth do they get at it?
I looked at my father, and the vague
hope Roland had excited fell as
I looked.
"Brother," said he slowly, and
shaking his head, "the world, which
gives codes and laws to those who live
in it, does not care much for a pedigree,
unless it goes with a title-deed
to estates."
"Trevanion was not richer than
Pisistratus when he married Lady
Ellinor," said my uncle.
"True; but Lady Ellinor was not
then an heiress, and her father viewed
these matters as no other peer in England
perhaps would. As for Trevanion
himself, I dare say he has no prejudices
about station, but he is strong in common
sense. He values himself on being
a practical man. It would be folly to
talk to him of love, and the affections
of youth. He would see in the son of
Austin Caxton, living on the interest
of some fifteen or sixteen thousand
pounds, such a match for his daughter
as no prudent man in his position
could approve. And as for Lady
Ellinor"—
"She owes us much, Austin!" exclaimed
Roland, his face darkening.
"Lady Ellinor is now what, if we
had known her better, she promised
always to be—the ambitious, brilliant,
scheming woman of the world. Is it
not so, Pisistratus?"
I said nothing. I felt too much.
"And does the girl like you?—but
I think it is clear she does!" exclaimed
Roland. "Fate—fate; it has
been a fatal family to us! Zounds,
Austin, it was your fault. Why did
you let him go there?"
"My son is now a man—at least in
heart, if not in years—can man be shut
from danger and trial? They found
me in the old parsonage, brother!"
said my father mildly.
My uncle walked, or rather stumped,
three times up and down the room;
and he then stopped short, folded his
arms, and came to a decision—
"If the girl likes you, your duty is
doubly clear—you can't take advantage
of it. You have done right to
leave the house, for the temptation
might be too strong."
"But what excuse shall I make to
Mr Trevanion?" said I feebly—"what
story can I invent? So careless as he
is while he trusts, so penetrating if he
once suspects, he will see through all
my subterfuges, and—and—"
"It is as plain as a pike-staff,"
said my uncle abruptly—"and there
need be no subterfuge in the matter.
'I must leave you, Mr Trevanion.'
'Why?' says he. 'Don't ask me.'
He insists. 'Well then, sir, if you
must know, I love your daughter. I
have nothing—she is a great heiress.
You will not approve of that love, and
therefore I leave you!' That is the
course that becomes an English gentleman—eh,
Austin?"
"You are never wrong when your
instincts speak, Roland," said my
father. "Can you say this, Pisistratus,
or shall I say it for you?"
"Let him say it himself," said
Roland; "and let him judge himself
of the answer. He is young, he is
clever, he may make a figure in the
world. Trevanion may answer, 'Win
the lady after you have won the laurel,
like the knights of old.' At all events,
you will hear the worst."
"I will go," said I, firmly; and I
took my hat, and left the room. As
I was passing the landing-place, a
light step stole down the upper flight
of stairs, and a little hand seized my
own. I turned quickly, and met the
full, dark, seriously sweet eyes of my
cousin Blanche.
"Don't go away yet, Sisty," said
she coaxingly. "I have been waiting
for you, for I heard your voice,
and did not like to come in and disturb
you."
"And why did you wait for me,
my little Blanche?"
"Why! only to see you. But
your eyes are red. Oh, cousin!"—and,
before I was aware of her childish
impulse, she had sprung to my neck
and kissed me. Now Blanche was
not like most children, and was very
sparing of her caresses. So it was out
of the deeps of a kind heart that that
kiss came. I returned it without a
word; and, putting her down gently,
ran down the stairs, and was in the
streets. But I had not got far before
I heard my father's voice; and he
came up, and, hooking his arm into
mine, said, "Are there not two of us
that suffer?—let us be together!" I
pressed his arm, and we walked on in
silence. But when we were near
Trevanion's house, I said hesitatingly,
"Would it not be better, sir, that I
went in alone. If there is to be an
explanation between Mr Trevanion
and myself, would it not seem as if
your presence implied either a request
to him that would lower us both, or a
doubt of me that—"
"You will go in alone, of course:
I will wait for you—"
"Not in the streets—oh no, father,"
cried I, touched inexpressibly. For
all this was so unlike my father's
habits, that I felt remorse to have so
communicated my young griefs to
the calm dignity of his serene life.
"My son, you do not know how I
love you. I have only known it myself
lately. Look you, I am living in
you now, my first-born; not in my
other son—the great book: I must
have my way. Go in; that is the
door, is it not?"
I pressed my father's hand, and I felt
then, that, while that hand could reply
to mine, even the loss of Fanny
Trevanion could not leave the world
a blank. How much we have before
us in life, while we retain our parents!
How much to strive and to hope for!
What a motive in the conquest of our
sorrow—that they may not sorrow
with us!
I entered Trevanion's study. It was
an hour in which he was rarely at
home, but I had not thought of that;
and I saw without surprise that, contrary
to his custom, he was in his armchair,
reading one of his favourite
classic authors, instead of being in
some committee room of the House of
Commons.
"A pretty fellow you are," said
he, looking up, "to leave me all the
morning, without rhyme or reason.
And my committee is postponed—chairman
ill—people who get ill
should not go into the House of Commons.
So here I am, looking into
Propertius: Parr is right; not so
elegant a writer as Tibullus. But
what the deuce are you about?—why
don't you sit down? Humph! you
look grave—you have something to
say,—say it!"
And, putting down Propertius, the
acute, sharp face of Trevanion instantly
became earnest and attentive.
"My dear Mr Trevanion," said I,
with as much steadiness as I could
assume, "you have been most kind to
me; and, out of my own family, there
is no man I love and respect more."
Trevanion.—Humph! What's all
this! (In an under tone)—Am I going
to be taken in?
Pisistratus.—Do not think me
ungrateful, then, when I say I come to
resign my office—to leave the house
where I have been so happy.
Trevanion.—Leave the house!—Pooh!—I
have overtasked you. I
will be more merciful in future. You
must forgive a political economist—it
is the fault of my sect to look upon
men as machines.
Pisistratus—(smiling faintly.)—No,
indeed—that is not it! I have
nothing to complain of—nothing I
could wish altered—could I stay.
Trevanion (examining me thoughtfully.)—And
does your father approve
of your leaving me thus?
Pisistratus—Yes, fully.
Trevanion (musing a moment.)—I
see, he would send you to the University,
make you a book-worm like
himself: pooh! that will not do—you
will never become wholly a man of
books,—it is not in you. Young man,
though I may seem careless, I read
characters, when I please it, pretty
quickly. You do wrong to leave me;
you are made for the great world—I
can open to you a high career. I wish
to do so! Lady Ellinor wishes it—nay,
insists on it—for your father's
sake as well as yours. I never ask
a favour from ministers, and I never
will. But (here Trevanion rose suddenly,
and, with an erect mien and a
quick gesture of his arm, he added)—but
a minister himself can dispose as
he pleases of his patronage. Look
you, it is a secret yet, and I trust to
your honour. But, before the year is
out, I must be in the cabinet. Stay
with me, I guarantee your fortunes—three
months ago I would not have
said that. By-and-by I will open
parliament for you—you are not of age
yet—work till then. And now sit down
and write my letters—a sad arrear!"
"My dear, dear Mr Trevanion!"
said I, so affected that I could scarcely
speak, and seizing his hand, which I
pressed between both mine—"I dare
not thank you—I cannot! But you
don't know my heart—it is not ambition.
No! if I could but stay here on
the same terms for ever—here—(looking
ruefully on that spot where Fanny
had stood the night before,) but it is
impossible! If you knew all, you would
be the first to bid me go!"
"You are in debt," said the man
of the world, coldly. "Bad, very
bad—still—"
"No, sir; no! worse—"
"Hardly possible to be worse,
young man—hardly! But, just as you
will; you leave me, and will not say
why. Good-by. Why do you linger?
shake hands, and go!"
"I cannot leave you thus: I—I—sir,
the truth shall out. I am rash
and mad enough not to see Miss
Trevanion without forgetting that I
am poor, and—"
"Ha!" interrupted Trevanion
softly, and growing pale, "this is
a misfortune indeed! And I, who
talked of reading characters! Truly,
truly, we would-be practical men are
fools—fools! And you have made
love to my daughter!"
"Sir! Mr Trevanion! I—no—never,
never so base! In your house, trusted
by you,—how could you think it? I
dared, it may be, to love—at all events,
to feel that I could not be insensible
to a temptation too strong for me.
But to say it to your daughter—to
ask love in return—I would as soon
have broken open your desk! Frankly
I tell you my folly: it is a folly, not
a disgrace."
Trevanion came up to me abruptly, as
I leant against the book-case, and,
grasping my hand with a cordial kindness,
said,—"Pardon me! You have
behaved as your father's son should—I
envy him such a son! Now, listen
to me—I cannot give you my
daughter—"
"Believe me, sir, I never—"
"Tut, listen! I cannot give you
my daughter. I say nothing of inequality—all
gentlemen are equal;
and if not, all impertinent affectation
of superiority, in such a case, would
come ill from one who owes his own
fortune to his wife! But, as it is, I
have a stake in the world, won not
by fortune only, but the labour of a
life, the suppression of half my nature—the
drudging, squaring, taming
down—all that made the glory and
joy of my youth—to be that hard
matter-of-fact thing which the English
world expect in a—statesman! This
station has gradually opened into its
natural result—power! I tell you I
shall soon have high office in the administration:
I hope to render great
services to England—for we English
politicians, whatever the mob and the
press say of us, are not selfish placehunters.
I refused office, as high as I
look for now, ten years ago. We
believe in our opinions, and we hail
the power that may carry them into
effect. In this cabinet I shall have
enemies. Oh, don't think we leave
jealousy behind us, at the doors of
Downing Street! I shall be one of a
minority. I know well what must
happen: like all men in power, I must
strengthen myself by other heads and
hands than my own. My daughter
should bring to me the alliance of that
house in England which is most necessary
to me. My life falls to the
ground, like a house of cards, if I
waste—I do not say on you, but on
men of ten times your fortune (whatever
that be,)—the means of strength
which are at my disposal in the hand
of Fanny Trevanion. To this end I
have looked; but to this end her
mother has schemed—for these
household matters are within a man's
hopes, but belong to a woman's policy.
So much for us. But for you, my
dear, and frank, and high-souled
young friend—for you, if I were not
Fanny's father—if I were your nearest
relation, and Fanny could be had for
the asking, with all her princely
dower, (for it is princely,)—for you I
should say, fly from a load upon the
heart, on the genius, the energy, the
pride, and the spirit, which not one
man in ten thousand can bear; fly
from the curse of owing every thing
to a wife!—it is a reversal of all
natural position, it is a blow to all
the manhood within us. You know
not what it is: I do! My wife's fortune
came not till after marriage—so
far, so well; it saved my reputation
from the charge of fortune-hunting.
But, I tell you fairly, that if it had
never come at all, I should be a
prouder, and a greater, and a happier
man than I have ever been, or ever
can be, with all its advantages; it
has been a millstone round my neck.
And yet Ellinor has never breathed a
word that could wound my pride.
Would her daughter be as forbearing?
Much as I love Fanny, I doubt if she
has the great heart of her mother. You
look incredulous;—naturally. Oh,
you think I shall sacrifice my child's
happiness to a politician's ambition!
Folly of youth! Fanny would be
wretched with you. She might not
think so now; she would five years
hence! Fanny will make an admirable
duchess, countess, great lady;
but wife to a man who owes all to
her!—no, no, don't dream it! I shall
not sacrifice her happiness, depend
on it. I speak plainly, as man to
man—man of the world to a man
just entering it—but still man to man!
What say you?"
"I will think over all you tell me.
I know that you are speaking to
me most generously—as a father
would. Now let me go, and may
God keep you and yours!"
"Go—I return your blessing—go!
I don't insult you now with offers
of service; but, remember, you have a
right to command them—in all ways,
in all times. Stop!—take this
comfort away with you—a sorry
comfort now, a great one hereafter.
In a position that might have moved
anger, scorn, pity, you have made
a barren-hearted man honour and
admire you. You, a boy, have made
me, with my gray hairs, think better
of the whole world: tell your father
that."
I closed the door, and stole out
softly—softly. But when I got into
the hall, Fanny suddenly opened the
door of the breakfast parlour, and
seemed, by her look, her gesture, to
invite me in. Her face was very pale,
and there were traces of tears on the
heavy lids.
I stood still a moment, and my
heart beat violently. I then muttered
something inarticulately, and, bowing
low, hastened to the door.
I thought, but my ears might deceive
me, that I heard my name pronounced;
but fortunately the tall porter
started from his newspaper and his
leather chair, and the entrance stood
open. I joined my father.
"It is all over," said I, with a resolute
smile. "And now, my dear father,
I feel how grateful I should be for all
that your lessons—your life—have,
taught me;—for, believe me, I am not
unhappy."
We came back to my father's house,
and on the stairs we met my mother,
whom Roland's grave looks, and her
Austin's strange absence, had alarmed.
My father quietly led the way to a
little room, which my mother had
appropriated to Blanche and herself;
and then, placing my hand in that
which had helped his own steps from
the stony path, down the quiet vales
of life, he said to me,—"Nature gives
you here the soother;"—and, so saying,
he left the room.
And it was true, O my mother!
that in thy simple loving breast
nature did place the deep wells of
comfort! We come to men for philosophy—to
women for consolation. And
the thousand weaknesses and regrets—the
sharp sands of the minutiæ that
make up sorrow—all these, which
I could have betrayed to no man—not
even to him, the dearest and tenderest
of all men—I showed without
shame to thee! And thy tears, that
fell on my cheek, had the balm of
Araby; and my heart, at length,
lay lulled and soothed under thy moist
gentle eyes.
I made an effort, and joined the
little circle at dinner; and I felt
grateful that no violent attempt was
made to raise my spirits—nothing but
affection, more subdued, and soft, and
tranquil. Even little Blanche, as if
by the intuition of sympathy, ceased
her babble, and seemed to hush her
footstep as she crept to my side. But
after dinner, when we had reassembled
in the drawing-room, and the
lights shone bright, and the curtains
were let down—and only the quick
roll of some passing wheels reminded
us that there was a world without—my
father began to talk. He
had laid aside all his work; the
younger, but less perishable child was
forgotten,—and my father began to
talk.
"It is," said he musingly, "a
well-known thing, that particular
drugs or herbs suit the body according
to its particular diseases. When we
are ill, we don't open our medicinechest
at random, and take out any
powder or phial that comes to hand.
The skilful doctor is he who adjusts
the dose to the malady."
"Of that there can be no doubt,"
quoth Captain Roland. "I remember
a notable instance of the justice of
what you say. When I was in Spain,
both my horse and I fell ill at the
same time; a dose was sent for each;
and, by some infernal mistake, I swallowed
the horse's physic, and the
horse, poor thing, swallowed mine!"
"And what was the result?" asked
my father.
"The horse died!", answered Roland
mournfully—"a valuable beast—bright
bay, with a star!"
"And you?"
"Why, the doctor said it ought
to have killed me; but it took a great
deal more than a paltry bottle of physic
to kill a man in my regiment."
"Nevertheless, we arrive at the
same conclusion," pursued my father,—"I
with my theory, you with your
experience,—that the physic we take
must not be chosen hap-hazard; and
that a mistake in the bottle may kill a
horse. But when we come to the
medicine for the mind, how little do
we think of the golden rule which
common-sense applies to the body."
"Anon," said the Captain, "what
medicine is there for the mind? Shakspeare
has said something on that
subject, which, if I recollect right,
implies that there is no ministering to
a mind diseased."
"I think not, brother; he only said
physic (meaning boluses and black
draughts) would not do it. And
Shakspeare was the last man to find
fault with his own art; for, verily,
he has been a great physician to the
mind."
"Ah! I take you now, brother,—books
again! So you think that, when a man
breaks his heart, or loses his fortune,
or his daughter—(Blanche, child, come
here)—that you have only to clap a
plaster of print on the sore place, and
all is well. I wish you would find me
such a cure."
"Will you try it?"
"If it is not Greek," said my uncle.
"If," said my father—and here his
hand was deep in his waistcoat—"if
we accept the authority of Diodorus,
as to the inscription on the great
Egyptian library—and I don't see why
Diodorus should not be as near the
mark as any one else?" added my
father interrogatively, turning round.
My mother thought herself the person
addressed, and nodded her gracious
assent to the authority of Diodorus.
His opinion thus fortified, my
father continued,—"If, I say, we accept
the authority of Diodorus, the inscription
on the Egyptian library was—'The
Medicine of the Mind.' Now,
that phrase has become notoriously
trite and hackneyed, and people repeat
vaguely that books are the medicine
of the mind. Yes; but to apply the
medicine is the thing!"
"So you have told us at least twice
before, brother," quoth the Captain,
bluffly. "And what Diodorus has to
do with it, I know no more than the
man of the moon."
"I shall never get on at this rate,"
said my father, in a tone between reproach
and entreaty.
"Be good children, Roland and
Blanche both," said my mother, stopping
from her work, and holding up
her needle threateningly—and indeed
inflicting a slight puncture upon the
Captain's shoulder.
"Rem acu tetigisti, my dear," said
my father, borrowing Cicero's pun
on the occasion.[13] "And now we
shall go upon velvet. I say, then,
that books, taken indiscriminately, are
no cure to the diseases and afflictions
of the mind. There is a world
of science necessary in the taking
them. I have known some people
in great sorrow fly to a novel, or
the last light book in fashion. One
might as well take a rose-draught for
the plague! Light reading does not
do when the heart is really heavy.
I am told that Goethe, when he lost
his son, took to study a science that
was new to him. Ah! Goethe was a
physician who knew what he was
about. In a great grief like that, you
cannot tickle and divert the mind;
you must wrench it away, abstract,
absorb—bury it in an abyss, hurry it
into a labyrinth. Therefore, for the
irremediable sorrows of middle life and
old age, I recommend a strict chronic,
course of science and hard reasoning—Counter-irritation.
Bring the brain to
act upon the heart! If science is too
much against the grain, (for we have
not all got mathematical heads,)
something in the reach of the humblest
understanding, but sufficiently searching
to the highest—a new language—Greek,
Arabic, Scandinavian, Chinese,
or Welch! For the loss of fortune, the
dose should be applied less directly to
the understanding.—I would administer
something elegant and cordial.
For as the heart is crushed
and lacerated by a loss in the affections,
so it is rather the head that
aches and suffers by the loss of money.
Here we find the higher class of poets
a very valuable remedy. For observe,
that poets of the grander and more
comprehensive kind of genius have in
them two separate men, quite distinct
from each other—the imaginative
man, and the practical, circumstantial
man; and it is the happy mixture of
these that suits diseases of the mind,
half imaginative and half practical.
There is Homer, now lost with the
gods, now at home with the homeliest,
the very 'poet of circumstance,' as
Gray has finely called him; and yet
with imagination enough to seduce
and coax the dullest into forgetting,
for a while, that little spot on his desk
which his banker's book can cover.
There is Virgil, far below him, indeed.
—'Virgil the wise,
Whose verse walks highest, but not flies.'
as Cowley expresses it. But Virgil
still has genius enough to be two
men—to lead you into the fields,
not only to listen to the pastoral
reed, and to hear the bees hum,
but to note how you can make the
most of the glebe and the vineyard.
There is Horace, charming man of the
world, who will condole with you
feelingly on the loss of your fortune,
and by no means undervalue the
good things of this life; but who will
yet show you that a man may be
happy with a vile modicum, or parva
rura. There is Shakspeare, who,
above all poets, is the mysterious
dual of hard sense and empyreal
fancy—and a great many more, whom
I need not name; but who, if you
take to them gently and quietly, will
not, like your mere philosopher, your
unreasonable stoic, tell you that you
have lost nothing; but who will insensibly
steal you out of this world,
with its losses and crosses, and slip
you into another world, before you
know where you are!—a world where
you are just as welcome, though you
carry no more earth of your lost
acres with you than covers the sole
of your shoe. Then, for hypochondria
and satiety, what is better than a
brisk alterative course of travels—especially
early, out of the way, marvellous,
legendary travels! How they
freshen up the spirits! How they take
you out of the humdrum yawning
state you are in. See, with Herodotus,
young Greece spring up into life; or
note with him how already the wondrous
old Orient world is crumbling
into giant decay; or go with Carpini
and Rubruquis to Tartary, meet
'the carts of Zagathai laden with
houses, and think that a great city is
travelling towards you.'[14] Gaze on that
vast wild empire of the Tartar, where
the descendants of Jenghis 'multiply
and disperse over the immense waste
desert, which is as boundless as the
ocean.' Sail with the early northern
discoverers, and penetrate to the
heart of winter, among sea-serpents
and bears, and tusked morses, with
the faces of men. Then, what think
you of Columbus, and the stern soul
of Cortes, and the kingdom of
Mexico, and the strange gold city of
the Peruvians, with that audacious
brute Pizarro? and the Polynesians,
just for all the world like the ancient
Britons? and the American Indians,
and the South-Sea Islanders? how
petulant, and young, and adventurous,
and frisky your hypochondriac
must get upon a regimen like that!
Then, for that vice of the mind which
I call sectarianism—not in the religious
sense of the word, but little, narrow
prejudices, that make you hate your
next-door neighbour, because he has
his eggs roasted when you have
yours boiled; and gossiping and prying
into people's affairs, and back-biting,
and thinking heaven and
earth are coming together, if some
broom touch a cobweb that you have
let grow over the window-sill of
your brains—what like a large and
generous, mildly aperient (I beg
your pardon, my dear) course of history!
How it clears away all the
fumes of the head!—better than the
hellebore with which the old leeches
of the middle ages purged the cerebellum.
There, amidst all that great
whirl and sturmbad (storm-bath), as
the Germans say, of kingdoms and
empires, and races and ages, how
your mind enlarges beyond that little,
feverish animosity to John Styles;
or that unfortunate prepossession of
yours, that all the world is interested
in your grievances against Tom
Stokes and his wife!
"I can only touch, you see, on a few
ingredients in this magnificent pharmacy—its
resources are boundless,
but require the nicest discretion. I
remember to have cured a disconsolate
widower, who obstinately refused
every other medicament, by a
strict course of geology. I dipped
him deep into gneiss and mica schist.
Amidst the first strata, I suffered the
watery action to expend itself upon
cooling crystallised masses; and, by
the time I had got him into the tertiary
period, amongst the transition
chalks of Maestricht, and the conchiferous
marls of Gosau, he was ready
for a new wife. Kitty, my dear! it is
no laughing matter. I made no less
notable a cure of a young scholar at
Cambridge, who was meant for the
church, when he suddenly caught a
cold fit of freethinking, with great
shiverings, from wading over his
depth in Spinosa. None of the
divines, whom I first tried, did him the
least good in that state; so I turned
over a new leaf, and doctored him
gently upon the chapters of faith in
Abraham Tucker's book, (you should
read, it, Sisty;) then I threw in strong
doses of Fichté; after that I put him
on the Scotch metaphysicians, with
plunge baths into certain German transcendentalists;
and having convinced
him that faith is not an unphilosophical
state of mind, and that he
might believe without compromising
his understanding—for he was mightily
conceited on that score—I threw in
my divines, which he was now fit to
digest; and his theological constitution,
since then, has become so robust,
that he has eaten up two livings and a
deanery! In fact, I have a plan for
a library that, instead of heading its
compartments, 'Philology, Natural
Science, Poetry,' &c., one shall head
them according to the diseases for
which they are severally good, bodily
and mental—up from a dire calamity,
or the pangs of the gout,
down to a fit of the spleen, or a
slight catarrh; for which last your
light reading comes in with a whey
posset and barley-water. But," continued
my father more gravely, "when
some one sorrow, that is yet reparable,
gets hold of your mind like a
monomania—when you think, because
heaven has denied you this or that,
on which you had set your heart, that
all your life must be a blank—oh,
then diet yourself well on biography—the
biography of good and great
men. See how little a space one sorrow
really makes in life. See scarce
a page, perhaps, given to some grief
similar to your own; and how triumphantly
the life sails on, beyond it!
You thought the wing was broken!—Tut-tut—it
was but a bruised feather!
See what life leaves behind it, when all
is, done!—a summary of positive facts
far out of the region of sorrow and
suffering, linking themselves with
the being of the world. Yes, biography
is the medicine here! Roland,
you said you would try my prescription—here
it is,"—and my father
took up a book, and reached it to the
Captain.
My uncle looked over it—Life of
the Reverend Robert Hall. "Brother,
he was a Dissenter, and, thank heaven,
I am a church-and-state man, back
and bone!"
"Robert Hall was a brave man,
and a true soldier under the great
commander," said my father artfully.
The Captain mechanically carried
his forefinger to his forehead in military
fashion, and saluted the book
respectfully.
"I have another copy for you,
Pisistratus—that is mine which I have
lent Roland. This, which I bought
for you to-day, you will keep."
"Thank you, sir," said I listlessly,
not seeing what great good the Life
of Robert Hall could do me, or why
the same medicine should suit the old
weatherbeaten uncle, and the nephew
yet in his teens.
"I have said nothing," resumed
my father, slightly bowing his broad
temples, "of the Book of Books, for
that is the lignum vitæ, the cardinal
medicine for all. These are but the
subsidiaries: for, as you may remember,
my dear Kitty, that I have said
before—we can never keep the system
quite right unless we place just in
the centre of the great ganglionic
system, whence the nerves carry its
influence gently and smoothly through
the whole frame—the Saffron
Bag!"
After breakfast the next morning,
I took my hat to go out, when my
father, looking at me, and seeing by
my countenance that I had not slept,
said gently—
"My dear Pisistratus, you have
not tried my medicine yet."
"What medicine, sir?"
"Robert Hall."
"No, indeed, not yet," said I, smiling.
"Do so, my son, before you go out;
depend on it, you will enjoy your walk
more."
I confess that it was, with some reluctance
I obeyed. I went back to
my own room, and sate resolutely
down to my task. Are there any of
you, my readers, who have not read
the Life of Robert Hall? If so, in
the words of the great Captain Cuttle,
"When found, make a note of it."
Never mind what your theological
opinion is—Episcopalian, Presbyterian,
Baptist, Pædobaptist, Independent,
Quaker, Unitarian, Philosopher,
Freethinker—send for Robert
Hall! Yea, if there exist yet
on earth descendants of the arch-heresies,
which made such a noise in their
day—men who believe with Saturnians
that the world was made by seven
angels; or with Basilides, that there
are as many heavens as there are days
in the year; or with the Nicolaitanes,
that men ought to have their wives in
common, (plenty of that sect still,
especially in the Red Republic;) or
with their successors, the Gnostics,
who believed in Jaldaboath; or with
the Carpacratians, that the world was
made by the devil; or with the Cerinthians,
and Ebionites, and Nazarites,
(which last discovered that the name
of Noah's wife was Ouria, and that
she set the ark on fire;) or with the
Valentinians, who taught that there
were thirty Æones, ages, or worlds,
born out of Profundity, (Bathos,)
male, and Silence, female; or with the
Marcites, Colarbasii, and Heracleonites,
(who still kept up that bother
about Æones, Mr Profundity, and Mrs
Silence;) or with the Ophites, who
are said to have worshipped the serpent;
or the Cainites, who ingeniously
found out a reason for honouring
Judas, because he foresaw what
good would come to men by betraying
our Saviour; or with the Sethites,
who made Seth a part of the Divine
substance; or with the Archonticks,
Ascothyptæ, Cerdonians, Marcionites,
the disciples of Apelles, and Severus,
(the last was a teetotaller, and said wine
was begot by Satan!) or of Tatian,
who thought all the descendants of
Adam were irretrievably damned except
themselves, (some of those Tatiani
are certainly extant!) or the
Cataphrygians, who were also called
Tascodragitæ, because they thrust
their forefingers up their nostrils to
show their devotion; or the Pepuzians,
Quintilians, and Artotyrites; or—but
no matter. If I go through all
the follies of men in search of the
truth, I shall never get to the end of
my chapter, or back to Robert Hall:
whatever, then, thou art, orthodox or
heterodox, send for the Life of Robert
Hall. It is the life of a man that it
does good to manhood itself to contemplate.
I had finished the biography, which
is not long, and was musing over it,
when I heard the Captain's cork-leg
upon the stairs. I opened the door
for him, and he entered, book in hand,
as I, also book in hand, stood ready
to receive him.
"Well, sir," said Roland, seating
himself, "has the prescription done
you any good?"
"Yes, uncle—great."
"And me too. By Jupiter, Sisty,
that same Hall was a fine fellow! I
wonder if the medicine has gone
through the same channels in both?
Tell me, first, how it has affected you."
"Imprimis, then, my dear uncle, I
fancy that a book like this must do
good to all who live in the world in
the ordinary manner, by admitting us
into a circle of life of which I suspect
we think but little. Here is a man
connecting himself directly with a
heavenly purpose, and cultivating
considerable faculties to that one end;
seeking to accomplish his soul as far
as he can, that he may do most good
on earth, and take a higher existence
up to heaven; a man intent upon a
sublime and spiritual duty: in short,
living as it were in it, and so filled
with the consciousness of immortality,
and so strong in the link between God
and man, that, without any affected
stoicism, without being insensible to
pain—rather, perhaps, from a nervous
temperament, acutely feeling it—he yet
has a happiness wholly independent
of it. It is impossible not to be thrilled
with an admiration that elevates
while it awes you, in reading that
solemn 'Dedication of himself to
God.' This offering of 'soul and
body, time, health, reputation, talents,'
to the divine and invisible
Principle of Good, calls us suddenly to
contemplate the selfishness of our own
views and hopes, and awakens us from
the egotism that exacts all and resigns
nothing.
"But this book has mostly struck
upon the chord in my own heart, in
that characteristic which my father
indicated as belonging to all biography.
Here is a life of remarkable fulness,
great study, great thought, and great
action; and yet," said I, colouring,
"how small a place those feelings,
which have tyrannised over me, and
made all else seem blank and void,
hold in that life. It is not as if the
man were a cold and hard ascetic;
it is easy to see in him not only
remarkable tenderness and warm
affections, but strong self-will, and the
passion of all vigorous natures. Yes,
I understand better now what existence
in a true man should be."
"All that is very well said," quoth
the Captain, "but it did not strike me.
What I have seen in this book is
courage. Here is a poor creature
rolling on the carpet with agony;
from childhood to death tortured by
a mysterious incurable malady—a
malady that is described as 'an internal
apparatus of torture;' and who
does, by his heroism, more than bear
it—he puts it out of power to
affect him; and though (here is the
passage) 'his appointment by day
and by night was incessant pain, yet
high enjoyment was, notwithstanding,
the law of his existence.' Robert
Hall reads me a lesson—me, an old
soldier, who thought myself above
taking lessons—in courage, at least.
And, as I came to that passage when,
in the sharp paroxysms before death,
he says, 'I have not complained, have
I, sir?—and I won't complain,'—when
I came to that passage I started up,
and cried, 'Roland de Caxton, thou
hast been a coward! and, an thou
hadst had thy deserts, thou hadst
been cashiered, broken, and drummed
out of the regiment long ago!"
"After all, then, my father was
not so wrong—he placed his guns
right, and fired a good shot."
"He must have been from 6° to 9°
above the crest of the parapet," said
my uncle, thoughtfully—"which, I
take it, is the best elevation, both
for shot and shells, in enfilading a
work."
"What say you, then, Captain? up
with our knapsacks, and on with the
march!"
"Right about—face!" cried my
uncle, as erect as a column.
"No looking back, if we can help
it."
"Full in the front of the enemy—'Up,
guards, and at 'em!'"
"'England expects every man to do
his duty!"'
"Cypress or laurel!" cried my
uncle, waving the book over his head.
I went out—and to see Francis
Vivian; for, on leaving Mr Trevanion,
I was not without anxiety for my
new friend's future provision. But
Vivian was from home, and I strolled
from his lodgings, into the suburbs on
the other side of the river, and began
to meditate seriously on the best
course now to pursue. In quitting my
present occupations, I resigned prospects
far more brilliant, and fortunes
far more rapid than I could ever
hope to realise in any other entrance
into life. But I felt the necessity, if
I desired to keep steadfast to that
more healthful frame of mind I had
obtained, of some manly and continuous
labour—some earnest employment.
My thoughts flew back to the university;
and the quiet of its cloisters—which,
until I had been blinded by
the glare of the London world, and
grief had somewhat dulled the edge of
my quick desires and hopes, had
seemed to me cheerless and unaltering—took
an inviting aspect. They
presented what I needed most—a
new scene, a new arena, a partial
return into boyhood; repose for
passions prematurely raised; activity
for the reasoning powers in fresh
directions. I had not lost my time
in London: I had kept up, if not
studies purely classical, at least the
habits of application; I had sharpened
my general comprehension, and augmented
my resources. Accordingly,
when I returned home, I resolved to
speak to my father. But I found he
had forestalled me; and, on entering,
my mother drew me up stairs into her
room, with a smile kindled by my
smile, and told me that she and her
Austin had been thinking that it was
best that I should leave London as
soon as possible; that my father
found he could now dispense with
the library of the Museum for some
months; that the time for which they
had taken their lodgings would be up
in a few days; that the summer was
far advanced, town odious, the country
beautiful—in a word, we were to go
home. There I could prepare myself
for Cambridge, till the long vacation
was over; and, my mother added
hesitatingly, and with a prefatory
caution to spare my health, that my
father, whose income could ill afford
the requisite allowance to me, counted
on my soon lightening his burden,
by getting a scholarship. I felt how
much provident kindness there was in
all this—even in that hint of a
scholarship, which was meant to
rouse my faculties, and spur me, by
affectionate incentives, to a new ambition.
I was not less delighted than
grateful.
"But poor Roland," said I, "and
little Blanche—will they come with
us?"
"I fear not," said my mother, "for
Roland is anxious to get back to his
tower; and, in a day or two, he will
be well enough to move."
"Do you not think, my dear
mother, that, somehow or other, this
lost son of his had something to do
with his illness,—that the illness was
as much mental as physical?"
"I have no doubt of it, Sisty. What
a sad, bad heart that young man must
have!"
"My uncle seems to have abandoned
all hope of finding him in
London; otherwise, ill as he has been,
I am sure we could not have kept
him at home. So he goes back to the
old tower. Poor man, he must be dull
enough there!—we must contrive to
pay him a visit. Does Blanche ever
speak of her brother?"
"No, for it seems they were not
brought up much together—at all
events, she does not remember him.
How lovely she is! Her mother must
surely have been very handsome."
"She is a pretty child, certainly,
though in a strange style of beauty—such
immense eyes!—and affectionate,
and loves Roland as she ought."
And here the conversation dropped.
Our plans being thus decided, it
was necessary that I should lose no
time in seeing Vivian, and making
some arrangement for the future. His
manner had lost so much of its abruptness,
that I thought I could venture
to recommend him personally to
Trevanion; and I knew, after what
had passed, that Trevanion would
make a point to oblige me. I resolved
to consult my father about it.
As yet I had either never forced, or
never made the opportunity to talk to
my father on the subject, he had been
so occupied; and, if he had proposed
to see my new friend, what answer
could I have made, in the teeth of
Vivian's cynic objections? However,
as we were now going away, that last
consideration ceased to be of importance;
and, for the first, the student
had not yet entirely settled back to
his books. I therefore watched the
time when my father walked down
to the Museum, and, slipping my arm
in his, I told him, briefly and rapidly,
as we went along, how I had formed
this strange acquaintance, and how
I was now situated. The story did
not interest my father quite as much
as I expected, and he did not understand
all the complexities of Vivian's
character—how could he?—for he
answered briefly, "I should think
that, for a young man, apparently
without a sixpence, and whose education
seems so imperfect, any resource
in Trevanion must be most temporary
and uncertain. Speak to your uncle
Jack—he can find him some place, I
have no doubt—perhaps a readership
in a printer's office, or a reporter's
place on some journal, if he is fit for
it. But if you want to steady him, let
it be something regular."
Therewith my father dismissed the
matter, and vanished through the
gates of the Museum.—Readership to
a printer, reportership on a journal,
for a young gentleman with the
high notions and arrogant vanity of
Francis Vivian—his ambition already
soaring far beyond kid gloves and a
cabriolet! The idea was hopeless;
and, perplexed and doubtful, I took
my way to Vivian's lodgings. I found
him at home, and unemployed, standing
by his window, with folded arms,
and in a state of such reverie that he
was not aware of my entrance till I
had touched him on the shoulder.
"Ha!" said he then, with one of
his short, quick, impatient sighs, "I
thought you had given me up, and
forgotten me—but you look pale and
harassed. I could almost think you
had grown thinner within the last few
days."
"Oh! never mind me, Vivian: I
have come to speak of yourself. I
have left Trevanion; it is settled that
I should go to the university—and
we all quit town in a few days."
"In a few days!—all!—who are
all?"
"My family—father, mother, uncle
cousin, and myself. But, my dear
fellow, now let us think seriously
what is best to be done for you? I
can present you to Trevanion."
"Ha!"
"But Trevanion is a hard, though
an excellent man; and, moreover, as
he is always changing the subjects
that engross him, in a month or so,
he may have nothing to give you.
You said you would work—will you
consent not to complain if the work
cannot be done in kid gloves? Young
men who have risen high in the world
have begun, it is well known, as reporters
to the press. It is a situation
of respectability, and in request, and
not easy to obtain, I fancy; but
still—"
Vivian interrupted me hastily—
"Thank you a thousand times!
but what you say confirms a resolution
I had taken before you came. I
shall make it up with my family, and
return home."
"Oh! I am so really glad. How
wise in you!"
Vivian turned away his head abruptly—
"Your pictures of family life and
domestic peace, you see," he said,
"seduced me more than you thought.
When do you leave town?"
"Why, I believe, early next week."
"So soon!" said Vivian, thoughtfully.
"Well, perhaps I may ask you
yet to introduce me to Mr Trevanion;
for—who knows?—my family and I
may fall out again. But I will consider.
I think I have heard you say
that this Trevanion is a very old
friend of your father's, or uncle's?"
"He, or rather Lady Ellinor, is an
old friend of both."
"And therefore would listen to
your recommendations of me. But
perhaps I may not need them. So
you have left—left of your own accord—a
situation that seemed more enjoyable,
I should think, than rooms in a
college;—left—why did you leave?"
And Vivian fixed his bright eyes,
full and piercingly, on mine.
"It was only for a time, for a trial,
that I was there," said I, evasively:
"out at nurse, as it were, till the
Alma Mater opened her arms—alma
indeed she ought to be to my father's
son."
Vivian looked unsatisfied with my
explanation, but did not question me
farther. He himself was the first to
turn the conversation, and he did this
with more affectionate cordiality than
was common to him. He inquired
into our general plans, into the probabilities
of our return to town, and drew
from me a description of our rural
Tusculum. He was quiet and subdued;
and once or twice I thought
there was a moisture in those luminous
eyes. We parted with more of
the unreserve and fondness of youthful
friendship—at least on my part,
and seemingly on his—than had yet
endeared our singular intimacy; for
the cement of cordial attachment
had been wanting to an intercourse in
which one party refused all confidence,
and the other mingled distrust and
fear with keen interest and compassionate
admiration.
That evening, before lights were
brought in, my father, turning to me,
abruptly asked if I had seen my
friend, and what he was about to do?
"He thinks of returning to his
family," said I.
Roland, who had seemed dozing,
winced uneasily.
"Who returns to his family?"
asked the Captain.
"Why, you must know," said my
father, "that Sisty has fished up a
friend of whom he can give no account
that would satisfy a policeman,
and whose fortunes he thinks himself
under the necessity of protecting.
You are very lucky that he has not
picked your pockets, Sisty; but I
daresay he has? What's his name?"
"Vivian," said I—"Francis Vivian."
"A good name, and a Cornish,"
said my father. "Some derive it
from the Romans—Vivianus; others
from a Celtic word, which means"—
"Vivian!" interrupted Roland—"Vivian!—I
wonder if it be the son
of Colonel Vivian?"
"He is certainly a gentleman's
son," said I; "but he never told me
what his family and connexions were."
"Vivian," repeated my uncle—"poor
Colonel Vivian. So the young
man is going to his father. I have no
doubt it is the same. Ah!"—
"What do you know of Colonel
Vivian, or his son?" said I. "Pray,
tell me, I am so interested in this
young man."
"I know nothing of either, except
by gossip," said my uncle, moodily.
"I did hear that Colonel Vivian, an
excellent officer, and honourable man,
had been in—in—(Roland's voice faltered)—in
great grief about his son,
whom, a mere boy, he had prevented
from some improper marriage, and
who had run away and left him—it
was supposed for America. The story
affected me at the time," added my
uncle, trying to speak calmly.
We were all silent, for we felt why
Roland was so disturbed, and why
Colonel Vivian's grief should have
touched him home. Similarity in
affliction makes us brothers even to
the unknown.
"You say he is going home to his
family—I am heartily glad of it!" said
the envying old soldier, gallantly.
The lights came in then, and, two
minutes after, uncle Roland and I
were nestled close to each other, side
by side; and I was reading over his
shoulder, and his finger was silently
resting on that passage that had so
struck him—"I have not complained—have
I, sir?—and I won't complain!"