In Which a Crœsus of Ragged Run Drives a Hard
Bargain in a Gale of Wind
"An' there the ol' codger was squattin',"
Skipper Joe's tale went on, "his ol'
face pinched an' woebegone, his bag o'
bones wrapped up in his coonskin coat, his pan
near flush with the sea, with little black waves
already beginnin' t' wash over it.
"A sad sight, believe me! Poor old Skinflint
Sam bound out t' sea without hope on a wee pan
o' ice!
"'Got any room for me?' says he.
"We ranged alongside.
"'She's too deep as it is,' says Tom. 'I'm
wonderful sorry, Skipper Sam.'
"An' he was.
"'Ay,' says Sam; 'you isn't got room for no
more. She'd sink if I put foot in her.'
"'Us'll come back,' says Tom.
"'No use, Tom,' says Sam. 'You knows
that well enough. 'Tis no place out here for a
Ragged Run punt. Afore you could get t' shore
an' back night will be down an' this here gale
will be a blizzard. You'd never be able t' find
me.'
"'I 'low not,' says Tom.
"'Oh, no,' says Sam. 'No use, b'y.'
"'Skipper Sam,' says Tom, 'I'm sorry!'
"'Ay,' says Sam; ''tis a sad death for an ol'
man—squattin' out here all alone on the ice an'
shiverin' with the cold until he shakes his poor
damned soul out.'
"'Not damned!' cries Tom. 'Oh, don't say
it!'
"'Ah, well!' says Sam; 'sittin' here all alone
I been thinkin'.'
"''Tisn't by any man's wish that you're here,
poor man!' says Tom.
"'Oh, no,' says Sam. 'No blame t' nobody.
My time's come. That's all. But I wisht I had
a seat in your rodney, Tom.'
"An' then Tom chuckled.
"'What you laughin' at?' says Sam.
"'I got a comical idea,' says Tom.
"'Laughin' at me, Tom?'
"'Oh, I'm jus' laughin'.'
'"'Tis neither time nor place, Tom,' says Sam,
't' laugh at an old man.'
"Tom roared. Ay, he slapped his knee, an'
he throwed back his head, an' he roared! 'Twas
enough almost t' swamp the boat.
"'For shame!' says Sam.
"An' more than Skinflint Sam thought so.
"'Skipper Sam,' says Tom, 'you're rich,
isn't you?'
"'I got money,' says Sam.
"'Sittin' out here all alone,' says Tom, 'you
been thinkin' a deal, you says?'
"'Well,' says Sam, 'I'll not deny that I been
havin' a little spurt o' sober thought.'
"'You been thinkin' that money wasn't much,
after all?'
"'Ay.'
"'An' that all your money in a lump wouldn't
buy you passage ashore?'
"'Oh, some few small thoughts on that order,'
says Sam. ''Tis perfectly natural.'
"'Money talks,' says Tom.
"'Tauntin' me again, Tom?'
"'No, I isn't,' says Tom. 'I means it.
Money talks. What'll you give for my seat in
the boat?'
"''Tis not for sale, Tom.'
"The lads begun t' grumble. It seemed just
as if Bad-Weather Tom West was makin' game
of an ol' man in trouble. 'Twas either that or
lunacy. An' there was no time for nonsense off
the Ragged Run coast in a spring gale of wind.
But I knowed what Tom West was about. You
sees, sir, I knowed what you told him. An' as
for me, fond as I was o' poor Tom West, I had
no mind t' interrupt his bargain.
"'Hist!' Tom whispered t' the men in the
rodney. 'I knows what I'm doin'.'
"'A mad thing, Tom!'
"'Oh, no!' says Tom. ''Tis the cleverest
thing ever I thought of. Well,' says he to Sam,
'how much?'
"'No man sells his life.'
"'Life or no life, my place in this boat is for
sale,' says Tom. 'Money talks. Come, now.
Speak up. Us can't linger here with night
comin' down.'
"'What's the price, Tom?'
"'How much you got, Sam?'
"'Ah, well, I can afford a stiffish price, Tom.
Anything you say in reason will suit me. You
name the price, Tom. I'll pay.'
"'Ay, ye crab!' says Tom. 'I'm namin'
prices, now. Look you, Sam! You're seventy-three.
I'm fifty-three. Will you grant that I'd
live t' be as old as you?'
"'I'll grant it, Tom.'
"'I'm not sayin' I would,' says Tom. 'You
mark that.'
"'Ah, well, I'll grant it, anyhow.'
"'I been an industrious man all my life, Skipper
Sam. None knows it better than you. Will
you grant that I'd earn a hundred and fifty dollars
a year if I lived?'
"'Ay, Tom.'
"Down come a gust o' wind.
"'Have done!' says one of the lads. 'Here's
the gale come down with the dark. Us'll all be
cast away.'
"'Rodney's mine, isn't she?' says Tom.
"Well, she was. Nobody could say nothin' t'
that. An' nobody did.
"'That's three thousand dollars, Sam,' says
Tom. 'Three—thousand—dollars!'
"'Ay,' says Sam, 'she calculates that way.
But you've forgot t' deduct your livin' from the
total. Not that I minds,' says he. ''Tis just a
business detail.'
"'I'll not be harsh!' says Tom.
"'Another thing, Tom,' says Sam. 'You're
askin' me t' pay for twenty years o' life
when I can use but a few. God knows how
many!'
"'I got you where I wants you,' says Tom,
'but I isn't got the heart t' grind you. Will you
pay two thousand dollars for my seat in the
boat?'
"'If you is fool enough t' take it, Tom.'
"'There's something t' boot,' says Tom. 'I
wants t' die out o' debt.'
"'You does, Tom.'
"'An' my father's bill is squared?'
"'Ay.'
"''Tis a bargain!' says Tom. 'God witness!'
"'Lads,' says Skinflint Sam t' the others in
the rodney, 'I calls you t' witness that I didn't
ask Tom West for his seat in the boat. I isn't no
coward. I've asked no man t' give up his life
for me. This here bargain is a straight business
deal. Business is business. 'Tis not my proposition.
An' I calls you t' witness that I'm
willin' t' pay what he asks. He've something for
sale. I wants it. I've the money t' buy it. The
price is his. I'll pay it.'
"Then he turned to Tom.
"'You wants this money paid t' your wife,
Tom?' says he.
"'Ay,' says Tom, 't' my wife. She'll know
why.'
"'Very good,' says Skinflint. 'You've my
word that I'll do it.' An' then: 'Wind's jumpin'
up, Tom.'
"'I wants your oath. The wind will bide for
that. Hold up your right hand.'
"Skinflint shivered in a blast o' the gale.
"'I swears,' says he.
"'Lads,' says Tom, 'you'll shame this man to
his grave if he fails t' pay!'
"'Gettin' dark, Tom,' says Sam.
"'Ay,' says Tom; ''tis growin' wonderful
cold an' dark out here. I knows it well. Put
me ashore on the ice, lads,' says he.
"We landed Tom, then, on a near-by pan.
He would have it so.
"'Leave me have my way!' says he. 'I've
done a good stroke o' business.'
"Presently we took ol' Skinflint aboard in
Tom's stead; an' jus' for a minute we hung off
Tom's pan t' say good-bye.
"'I sends my love t' the wife an' the children,'
says he. 'You'll not fail t' remember. She'll
know why I done this thing. Tell her 'twas a
grand chance an' I took it.'
"'Ay, Tom.'
"'Fetch in here close,' says Tom. 'I wants
t' talk t' the ol' skinflint you got aboard there.
I'll have my say, ecod, at last! Ye crab!' says
he, shakin' his fist in Skinflint's face when the
rodney got alongside. 'Ye robber! Ye pinch-a-penny!
Ye liar! Ye thief! I done ye!
Hear me? I done ye! I vowed I'd even scores
with ye afore I died. An' I've done it—I've
done it! What did ye buy? Twenty years o'
my life! What will ye pay for? Twenty years
o' my life!'
"An' Tom laughed. An' then he cut a caper,
an' come close t' the edge o' the pan, an' shook
his fist in Skinflint's face again.
"'Know what I found out from Doctor
Luke?' says he. 'I seen Doctor Luke, ye crab!
Know what he told me? No, ye don't! Twenty
years o' my life this here ol' skinflint will pay
for!' he crowed. 'Two thousand dollars he'll
put in the hands o' my poor wife!'
"Well, well! The rodney was movin' away.
An' a swirl o' snow shrouded poor Tom West.
But we heard un laugh once more.
"'My heart has give 'way!' he yelled. 'I
didn't have three months t' live! An' Doctor
Luke tol' me so!'
"Well, now, sir," Skipper Joe concluded,
"Skinflint done what he said he would do. He
laid the money in the hands o' Tom West's wife
last week. But a queer thing happened next
day. Up went the price o' pork at Skinflint's
shop! And up went the price o' tea an' molasses!
An' up went the price o' flour!"