Though written many years ago this story was, for certain personal
reasons easy to guess, withheld from publication—withheld, as The
Times pointed out, because 'with the Dichtung was mingled
a good deal of Wahrheit,' But why did I still delay in
publishing it after these reasons for withholding it had passed away?
This is a question that has often been put to me both in print and in
conversation. And yet I should have imagined that the explanation was
not far to seek. It was simply diffidence; in other words it was that
infirmity which, though generally supposed to belong to youth, comes
to a writer, if it comes at all, with years. Undoubtedly there was a
time in my life when I should have leapt with considerable rashness
into the brilliant ranks of our contemporary novelists. But this was
before I had reached what I will call the diffident period in the
life of a writer. And then, again, I had often been told by George
Borrow, and also by my friend Francis Groome, the great living
authority on Romany matters, that there was in England no interest in
Gypsies. Altogether then, had it not been for the unexpected success
of The Coming of Love, a story of Gypsy life, it is doubtful
whether I should not have delayed the publication of Aylwin
until the great warder of the gates of day we call Death should close
his portal behind me and shut me off from these dreams. However, I am
very glad now that I did publish it; for it has brought around me a
number of new friends—brought them at a time when new friends were
what I yearned for—a time when, looking back through this vision of
my life, I seem to be looking down an Appian way—a street of
tombs—the tombs of those I loved. No wonder, then, that I was deeply
touched by the kindness with which the Public and the Press received
the story.
One critic did me the honour of remarking upon what he called the
'absolute newness of the plot and incidents of Aylwin.' He
seems to have forgotten, however, that one incident—the most daring
incident in the book—that of the rifling of a grave for treasure
—is not new: it will at once remind folk-lorists of certain
practices charged against our old Norse invaders. And students of
Celtic and Gaelic literature are familiar with the same idea. Quite,
lately, indeed, Mr. Alfred Nutt, in his analysis of the Gaelic
Agallamh na Senorach, or 'Colloquy of the Elders,' has made
some interesting remarks upon the subject.
As far as I remember, the only objection made by the critics to
Aylwin was that I had imported into a story written for
popular acceptance too many speculations and breedings upon the
gravest of all subjects—the subject of love at struggle with death.
My answer to this is that although it did win a great popular
acceptance I never expected it to do so. I knew the book to be an
expression of idiosyncrasy, and no man knows how much or how little
his idiosyncrasy is in harmony with the temper of his time, until his
book has been given to the world. It was the story of Aylwin
that was born of the speculations upon Love and Death; it was not the
speculations that were pressed into the story; without these
speculations there could have been no story to tell. Indeed the chief
fault which myself should find with Aylwin, if my business
were to criticise it, would be that it gives not too little but too
much prominence to the strong incidents of the story—a story written
as a comment on love's warfare with death—written to show that
confronted as a man is every moment by signs of the fragility and
brevity of human life, the great marvel connected with him is not
that his thoughts dwell frequently upon the unknown country beyond
Orion where the beloved dead are loving us still, but that he can
find time and patience to think upon anything else—a story written
further to show how terribly despair becomes intensified when a man
has lost—or thinks he has lost—a woman whose love was the only
light of his world—when his soul is torn from his body, as it were,
and whisked off on the wings of the 'viewless winds' right away
beyond the farthest star, till the universe hangs beneath his feet a
trembling point of twinkling light, and at last even this dies away
and his soul cries out for help in that utter darkness and
loneliness.
It was to depict this phase of human emotion that both Aylwin
and its sequel, The Coming of Love, were written. They were
missives from the lonely watch-tower of the writer's soul, sent out
into the strange and busy battle of the world—sent out to find, if
possible, another soul or two to whom the watcher was, without
knowing it, akin.
And now as to my two Gypsy heroines, the Sinfi Lovell of
Aylwin and the Rhona Boswell of The Coming of Love.
Although Borrow belonged to a different generation from mine, I
enjoyed his intimate friendship in his later years—during the time
when he lived in Hereford Square; and since his death I have written
a good deal about him—both in prose and in verse—in the Athenæum,
in the Encyclopædia Britannica, and in other places. When, some seven
or eight years ago, I brought out an edition of Lavengro (in
Messrs. Ward, Lock & Co.'s Minerva Library), I prefaced that
delightful book by a few desultory remarks upon Sorrow's Gypsy
characters. On that occasion I gave a slight sketch of the most
remarkable 'Romany Chi' that had ever been met with in the part of
East Anglia known to Borrow and myself—Sinfi Lovell. I described
her playing on the crwth. I discussed her exploits as a boxer, and I
contrasted her in many ways with the glorious Anglo-Saxon road-girl
Isopel Berners. Since the publication of Aylwin and The
Coming of Love I have received very many letters from English and
American readers inquiring whether 'the Gypsy girl described in the
introduction to Lavenyro is the same as the Sinfi Lovell of
Aylwin,' and also whether 'the Rhona Boswell that figures in
the prose story is the same as the Rhona of The Coming of
Love?' The evidence of the reality of Rhona so impressed itself
upon the reader that on the appearance of Rhona's first letter in the
Athenæum, where the poem was printed in fragments, I got among
other letters one from the sweet poet and adorable woman Jean
Ingelow, who was then very ill,—near her death indeed,—urging me to
tell her whether Rhona's love-letter was not a versification of a
real letter from a real Gypsy to her lover. As it was obviously
impossible for me to answer the queries individually, I take this
opportunity of saying that the Sinfi of Aylwin and the Sinfi
described in my introduction to Lavengro are one and the same
character—except that the story of the child Sinfi's weeping for the
'poor dead Gorgios' in the churchyard, given in the Introduction, is
really told by the Gypsies, not of Sinfi, but of Rhona Boswell. Sinfi
is the character alluded to in the now famous sonnet describing 'the
walking lord of Gypsy lore,' Borrow, by his most intimate friend Dr.
Gordon Hake.
'And he, the walking lord of Gypsy lore!
How often 'mid the deer that grazed the Park,
Or in the fields and heath and windy moor,
Made musical with many a soaring lark,
Have we not held brisk commune with him there,
While Lavengro, then towering by your side,
With rose complexion and bright silvery hair,
Would stop amid his swift and lounging stride
To tell the legends of the fading race—.
As at the summons of his piercing glance,
Its story peopling his brown eyes and face,
While you called up that pendant of romance
To Petulengro with his boxing glory
Your Amazonian Sinfi's noble story?'
Now that so many of the griengroes (horse-dealers), who form the
aristocracy of the Romany race, have left England for America, it is
natural enough that to some readers of Aylwin and The
Coming of Love my pictures of Romany life seem a little
idealised. The Times, in a kindly notice of The Coming of
Love, said that the kind of Gypsies there depicted are a very
interesting people, 'unless the author has flattered them unduly.'
Those who best knew the Gypsy women of that period will be the first
to aver that I have not flattered them unduly. But I have fully
discussed this matter, and given a somewhat elaborate account of
Sinfi Lovell and Rhona Boswell, in the introduction to the fifth
edition of The Coming of Love: Rhona Boswell's Story.
CHAP.
1. THE CYMRIC CHILD
2. THE MOONLIGHT CROSS OF THE GNOSTICS
3. WINIFRED'S DUKKERIPEN
4. THE LEADER OF THE AYLWINIANS
5. HAROUN-AL-RASCHID THE PAINTER
6. THE SONG OF Y WYDDFA
7. SINFI'S DUKKERIPEN
8. ISIS AS HUMOURIST
9. THE PALACE OF NIN-KI-GAL
10. BEHIND THE VEIL
11. THE IRONY OF HEAVEN
12. THE REVOLVING CAGE OF CIRCUMSTANCE
13. THE MAGIC OF SNOWDON
14. SINFI'S COUP DE THÉÂTRE
15. THE DAUGHTER OF SNOWDON'S STORY
16. D'ARCY'S LETTER
17. THE TWO DUKKERIPENS
18. THE WALK TO LLANBERIS
APPENDICES
THE RENASCENCE OF WONDER
THE CYMRIC CHILD
'Those who in childhood have had solitary communings with the sea
know the sea's prophecy. They know that there is a deeper sympathy
between the sea and the soul of man than other people dream of. They
know that the water seems nearer akin than the land to the spiritual
world, inasmuch as it is one and indivisible, and has motion, and
answers to the mysterious call of the winds, and is the writing
tablet of the moon and stars. When a child who, born beside the sea,
and beloved by the sea, feels suddenly, as he gazes upon it, a dim
sense of pity and warning; when there comes, or seems to come, a
shadow across the waves, with never a cloud in the sky to cast it;
when there comes a shuddering as of wings that move in dread or ire,
then such a child feels as if the bloodhounds of calamity are let
loose upon him or upon those he loves; he feels that the sea has told
him all it dares tell or can. And, in other moods of fate, when
beneath a cloudy sky the myriad dimples of the sea begin to sparkle
as though the sun were shining bright upon them, such a child feels,
as he gazes at it, that the sea is telling him of some great joy near
at hand, or, at least, not far off.'
One lovely summer afternoon a little boy was sitting on the edge of
the cliff that skirts the old churchyard of Raxton-on-Sea. He was
sitting on the grass close to the brink of the indentation cut by the
water into the horse-shoe curve called by the fishermen Mousetrap
Cove; sitting there as still as an image of a boy in stone, at the
forbidden spot where the wooden fence proclaimed the crumbling hollow
crust to be specially dangerous—sitting and looking across the sheer
deep gulf below.
Flinty Point on his right was sometimes in purple shadow and
sometimes shining in the sun; Needle Point on his left was sometimes
in purple shadow and sometimes shining in the sun; and beyond these
headlands spread now the wide purple, and now the wide sparkle of the
open sea. The very gulls, wheeling as close to him as they dared,
seemed to be frightened at the little boy's peril. Straight ahead he
was gazing, however—gazing so intently that his eyes must have been
seeing very much or else very little of that limitless world of light
and coloured shade. On account of certain questions connected with
race that will be raised in this narrative, I must dwell a little
while upon the child's personal appearance, and especially upon his
colour. Natural or acquired, it was one that might be almost called
unique; as much like a young Gypsy's colour as was compatible with
respectable descent, and yet not a Gypsy's colour. A deep undertone
of 'Romany brown' seemed breaking through that peculiar kind of ruddy
golden glow which no sunshine can give till it has itself been
deepened and coloured and enriched by the responsive kisses of the
sea.
Moreover, there was a certain something in his eyes that was not
Gypsy-like—a something which is not uncommonly seen in the eyes of
boys born along that coast, whether those eyes be black or blue or
grey; a something which cannot be described, but which seems like a
reflex of the daring gaze of that great land-conquering and daring
sea. Very striking was this expression as he momentarily turned his
face landward to watch one of the gulls that had come wheeling up the
cliffs towards the flinty grey tower of the church—the old deserted
church, whose graveyard the sea had already half washed away. As his
eyes followed the bird's movements, however, this daring sea-look
seemed to be growing gradually weaker and weaker. At last it faded
away altogether, and by the time his face was turned again towards
the sea, the look I have tried to describe was supplanted by such a
gaze as that gull would give were it hiding behind a boulder with a
broken wing. A mist of cruel trouble was covering his eyes, and soon
the mist had grown into two bright glittering pearly tears, which,
globing and trembling, larger and larger, were at length big enough
to drown both eyes; big enough to drop, shining, on the grass: big
enough to blot out altogether the most brilliant picture that sea and
sky could make. For that little boy had begun to learn a lesson which
life was going to teach him fully—the lesson that shining sails in
the sunny wind, and black trailing bands of smoke passing here and
there along the horizon, and silvery gulls dipping playfully into the
green and silver waves (nay, all the beauties and all the wonders of
the world), make but a blurred picture to eyes that look through the
lens of tears. However, with a brown hand brisk and angry, he brushed
away these tears, like one who should say, 'This kind of thing will
never do.'
Indeed, so hardy was the boy's face—tanned by the sun, hardened and
bronzed by the wind, reddened by the brine—that tears seemed
entirely out of place there. The meaning of those tears must be fully
accounted for, and if possible fully justified, for this little boy
is to be the hero of this story. In other words, he is Henry Aylwin;
that is to say, myself: and those who know me now in the full vigour
of manhood, a lusty knight of the alpenstock of some repute, will be
surprised to know what troubled me. They will be surprised to know
that owing to a fall from the cliff I was for about two years a
cripple.
This is how it came about. Rough and yielding as were the paths,
called 'gangways,' connecting the cliffs with the endless reaches of
sand below, they were not rough enough, or yielding enough, or in any
way dangerous enough for me.
So I used to fashion 'gangways' of my own; I used to descend the
cliff at whatsoever point it pleased me, clinging to the lumps of
sandy earth with the prehensile power of a spider-monkey. Many a
warning had I had from the good fishermen and sea-folk, that some day
I should fall from top to bottom—fall and break my neck. A laugh was
my sole answer to these warnings; for, with the possession of perfect
health, I had inherited that instinctive belief in good luck which
perfect health will often engender.
However, my punishment came at last. The coast, which is yielding
gradually to the sea, is famous for sudden and gigantic landslips.
These landslips are sometimes followed, at the return of the tide, by
a further fall, called a 'settlement.' The word 'settlement' explains
itself, perhaps. No matter how smooth the sea, the return of the tide
seems on that coast to have a strange magnetic power upon the land,
and the debris of a landslip will sometimes, though not always,
respond to it by again falling and settling into new and permanent
shapes.
Now, on the morning after a great landslip, when the coastguard,
returning on his beat, found a cove where, half-an-hour before, he
had left his own cabbages growing, I, in spite of all warnings, had
climbed the heap of débris from the sands, and while I was
hallooing triumphantly to two companions below—the two most
impudent-looking urchins, bare-footed and unkempt, that ever a
gentleman's son forgathered with—a great mass of loose earth
settled, carrying me with it in its fall. I was taken up for dead.
It was, however, only a matter of broken ribs and a damaged leg. And
there is no doubt that if the local surgeon had not been allowed to
have his own way, I should soon have been cured. As it was I became a
cripple. The great central fact—the very pivot upon which all the
wheels of my life have since been turning—is that for two years
during the impressionable period of childhood I walked with crutches.
It must not be supposed that my tears—the tears which at this moment
were blotting out the light and glory of the North Sea in the
sun—came from the pain I was suffering. They came from certain
terrible news, which even my brother Frank had been careful to keep
from me, but which had fallen from the lips of my father—the news
that I was not unlikely to be a cripple for life. From that moment I
had become a changed being, solitary and sometimes morose. I would
come and sit staring at the ocean, meditating on tilings in general,
but chiefly on things connected with cripples, asking myself, as now,
whether life would be bearable on crutches.
At my heart were misery and anger and such revolt as is, I hope,
rarely found in the heart of a child. I had sat down outside the
rails at this most dangerous point along the cliff, wondering whether
or not it would crumble beneath me. For this lameness coming to me,
who had been so active, who had been, indeed, the little athlete and
pugilist of the sands, seemed to have isolated me from my
fellow-creatures to a degree that is inconceivable to me now. A
stubborn will and masterful pride made me refuse to accept a disaster
such as many a nobler soul than mine has, I am conscious, borne with
patience. My nature became soured by asking in vain for sympathy at
home; my loneliness drove me—silent, haughty, and aggressive—to
haunt the churchyard, and sit at the edge of the cliff, gazing
wistfully at the sea and the sands which could not be reached on
crutches. Like a wounded sea-gull, I retired and took my trouble
alone.
How could I help taking it alone when none would sympathise with me?
My brother Frank called me 'The Black Savage,' and I half began to
suspect myself of secret impulses of a savage kind. Once I heard my
mother murmur, as she stroked Frank's rosy cheeks and golden curls,
'My poor Henry is a strange, proud boy!' Then, looking from my
crutches to Frank's beautiful limbs, she said, 'How providential that
it was not the elder! Providence is kind.' She meant kind to the
House of Aylwin. I often wonder whether she guessed that I heard her.
I often wonder whether she knew how I had loved her.
This is how matters stood with me on that summer afternoon, when I
sat on the edge of the cliff in a kind of dull, miserable dream.
Suddenly, at the moment when the huge mass of clouds had covered the
entire surface of the water between Flinty Point and Needle Point
with their rich purple shadow, it seemed to me that the waves began
to sparkle and laugh in a joyful radiance which they were making for
themselves. And at that same moment an unwonted sound struck my ear
from the churchyard behind me—a strange sound indeed in that
deserted place—that of a childish voice singing.
Was, then, the mighty ocean writing symbols for an unhappy child to
read? My father, from whose book, The Veiled Queen, the extract
with which this chapter opens is taken, would, unhesitatingly,
have answered 'Yes.'
'Destiny, no doubt, in the Greek drama concerns itself only with the
great,' says he, in that wonderful book of his. 'But who are the
great? With the unseen powers, mysterious and imperious, who govern
while they seem not to govern all that is seen, who are the great? In
a world where man's loftiest ambitions are to higher intelligences
childish dreams, where his highest knowledge is ignorance, where his
strongest strength is to heaven a derision—who are the great? Are
they not the few men and women and children on the earth who greatly
love?'
So sweet a sound as that childish voice I had never heard before.
I held my breath and listened.
Into my very being that child-voice passed, and it was a new music
and a new joy. I can give the reader no notion of it, because there
is not in nature anything with which I can compare it. The blackcap
has a climacteric note, just before his song collapses and dies, so
full of pathos and tenderness that often, when I had been sitting on
a gate in Wilderness Road, it had affected me more deeply than any
human words. But here was a note sweet and soft as that, and yet
charged with a richness no blackcap's song had ever borne, because no
blackcap has ever felt the joys and sorrows of a young human soul.
The voice was singing in a language which seemed strange to me then,
but has been familiar enough since:
Bore o'r cymwl aur,
Eryri oedd dy gaer.
Bren o wyllt a gwar,
Gwawr ysbrydau.[Footnote]
[Footnote: Morning of the golden cloud,
Eryrl was thy castle,
King of the wild and tame,
Glory of the spirits of air!]
[Eryri—the Place of Eagles, i.e. Snowdon.]
Intense curiosity now made me suddenly forget my troubles. I
scrambled back through the trees not tar from that spot and looked
around. There, sitting upon a grassy grave, beneath one of the
windows of the church, was a little girl, somewhat younger than
myself apparently. With her head bent back she was gazing up at the
sky and singing, while one of her little hands was pointing to a tiny
cloud that hovered like a golden feather over her head. The sun,
which had suddenly become very bright, shining on her glossy hair
(for she was bare-headed) gave it a metallic lustre, and it was
difficult to say what was the colour, dark bronze or black. So
completely absorbed was she in watching the cloud to which her
strange song or incantation seemed addressed, that she did not
observe me when I rose and went towards her. Over her head, high up
in the blue, a lark that was soaring towards the same gauzy cloud was
singing, as if in rivalry. As I slowly approached the child, I could
see by her forehead (which in the sunshine gleamed like a globe of
pearl), and especially by her complexion, that she was uncommonly
lovely, and I was afraid lest she should look down before I got close
to her, and so see my crutches before her eyes encountered my face.
She did not, however, seem to hear me coming along the grass (so
intent was she with her singing) until I was close to her, and
throwing my shadow over her. Then she suddenly lowered her head and
looked at me in surprise. I stood transfixed at her astonishing
beauty. No other picture has ever taken such possession of me. In its
every detail it lives before me now. Her eyes (which at one moment
seemed blue grey, at another violet) were shaded by long black
lashes, curving backward in a most peculiar way, and these matched
in hue her eyebrows, and the tresses that were tossed about her
tender throat and were quivering in the sunlight.
All this picture I did not take in at once; for at first I could see
nothing but those quivering, glittering, changeful eyes turned up
into my face. Gradually the other features (especially the sensitive
full-lipped mouth) grew upon me as I stood silently gazing. Here
seemed to me a more perfect beauty than had ever come to me in my
loveliest dreams of beauty beneath the sea. Yet it was not her beauty
perhaps, so much as the look she gave me, that fascinated me, melted
me.
As she gazed in my face there came over hers a look of pleased
surprise, and then, as her eyes passed rapidly down my limbs and up
again, her face was not overshadowed with the look of disappointment
which I had waited for—yes, waited for, like a pinioned criminal for
the executioner's uplifted knife; but the smile of pleasure was still
playing about the little mouth, while the tender young eyes were
moistening rapidly with the dews of a kind of pity that was new to
me, a pity that did not blister the pride of the lonely wounded
sea-gull, but soothed, healed, and blessed.
Remember that I was a younger son—that I was swarthy—that I was a
cripple—and that my mother—had Frank. It was as though my heart
must leap from my breast towards that child. Not a word had she
spoken, but she had said what the little maimed 'fighting Hal'
yearned to hear, and without knowing that he yearned.
I restrained myself, and did not yield to the feeling that impelled
me to throw my arms round her neck in an ecstasy of wonder and
delight. After a second or two she again threw back her head to gaze
at the golden cloud.
'Look!' said she, suddenly clapping her hands, 'it's over both of us
now.'
'What is it?' I said.
'The Dukkeripen,' she said, 'the Golden Hand. Sinfi and Rhona both
say the Golden Hand brings luck: what is luck?'
I looked up at the little cloud which to me seemed more like a golden
feather than a golden hand. But I soon bent my eyes down again to
look at her.
While I stood looking at her, the tall figure of a man came out of
the church. This was Tom Wynne. Besides being the organist of Raxton
'New Church,' Tom was also (for a few extra shillings a week)
custodian of the 'Old Church,' this deserted pile within whose
precincts we now were. Tom's features wore an expression of virtuous
indignation which puzzled me, and evidently frightened the little
girl. He locked the door, and walked unsteadily towards us. He seemed
surprised to see me there, and his features relaxed into a bland
civility.
'This is (hiccup) Master Aylwin, Winifred,' he said.
The child looked at me again with the same smile. Her alarm had fled.
'This is my little daughter Winifred,' said Tom, with a pompous bow.
I was astonished. I never knew that Wynne had a daughter, for
intimate as he and I had become, he had actually never mentioned his
daughter before.
'My only daughter,' Tom repeated.
He then told me, with many hiccups, that, since her mother's death
(that is to say from her very infancy), Winifred had been brought up
by an aunt in Wales. 'Quite a lady, her aunt is,' said Tom proudly,
'and Winifred has come to spend a few weeks with her father.'
He said this in a grandly paternal tone—a tone that seemed meant to
impress upon her how very much obliged she ought to feel to him for
consenting to be her father; and, judging from the look the child
gave him, she did feel very much obliged.
Suddenly, however, a thought seemed to come back upon Tom, a thought
which my unexpected appearance on the scene had driven from his
drunken brain. The look of virtuous indignation returned, and staring
at the little girl through glazed eyes, he said with the tremulous
and tearful voice of a deeply injured parent,
'Winifred, I thought I heard you singing one of them heathen Gypsy
songs that you learnt of the Gypsies in Wales.'
'No, father,' said she, 'it was the song they sing in Shire-Carnarvon
about the golden cloud over Snowdon and the spirits of the air.'
'Yes,' said Tom, 'but a little time ago you were singing a Gypsy
song—a downright heathen Gypsy song. I heard it about half an hour
ago when I was in the church.'
The beautiful little head drooped in shame.
'I'm s'prised at you, Winifred. When I come to think whose daughter
you are.—mine!—I'm s'prised at you,' continued Torn, whose virtuous
indignation waxed with every word.
'Oh. I'm so sorry!' said the child. 'I won't do it any more.'
This contrition of the child's only fanned the flame of Tom's
virtuous indignation.
'Here am I,' said he, 'the most (hiccup) respectable man in two
parishes,—except Master Aylwin's father, of course,—here am I, the
organ-player for the Christianest of all the Christian churches along
the coast, and here's my daughter sings heathen songs just like a
Gypsy or a tinker. I'm s'prised at you, Winifred.'
I had often seen Tom in a dignified state of liquor, but the pathetic
expression of injured virtue that again overspread his face so
changed it, that I had some difficulty myself in realising how
entirely the tears filling his eyes and the grief at his heart were
of alcoholic origin. And as to the little girl, she began to sob
piteously.
'Oh dear, oh dear, what a wicked girl I am !' said she.
This exclamation, however, aroused my ire against Tom; and as I
always looked upon him as my special paid henchman, who, in return
for such services as supplying me with tiny boxing-gloves, and
fishing-tackle, and bait, during my hale days, and tame rabbits now
that I was a cripple, mostly contrived to possess himself of my
pocket-money, I had no hesitation in exclaiming,
'Why, Tom, you know you're drunk, you silly old fool!'
At this Tom turned his mournful and reproachful gaze upon me, and
began to weep anew. Then he turned and addressed the sea, uplifting
his hand in oratorical fashion:—
'Here's a young gentleman as I've been more than a father to—yes,
more than a father to—for when did his own father ever give him a
ferret-eyed rabbit, a real ferret-eyed rabbit thoroughbred?'
'Why, I gave you one of my five-shilling pieces for it,' said I; 'and
the rabbit was in a consumption and died in three weeks.'
But Tom still addressed the sea.
'When did his own father give him,' said he, 'the longest thigh-bone
that the sea ever washed out of Raxton churchyard?'
'Why, I gave you two of my five-shilling pieces for
that,' said I, 'and next day you went and borrowed the bone,
and sold it over again to Dr. Munro for a quart of beer.'
'When did his own father give him a beautiful skull for a
money-box, and make an oak lid to it, and keep it for him because his
mother wouldn't have it in the house?'
'Ah, but where's the money that was in it, Tom? Where's the money?'
said I, flourishing one of my crutches, for I was worked up to a
state of high excitement when I recalled my own wrongs and Tom's
frauds, and I forgot his relationship to the little girl. 'Where are
the bright new half-crowns that were in the money-box when I
left it with you—the half-crowns that got changed into pennies, Tom?
Where are they? What's the use of having a skull for a money-box if
it's got no money in it? That's what I want to know, Tom!'
'Here's a young gentleman,' said Tom, 'as I've done all these things
for, and how does he treat me? He says, "Why, Tom, you know you're
drunk, you silly old fool."'
At this pathetic appeal the little girl sprang up and turned towards
me with the ferocity of a young tigress. Her little hands were
tightly clenched, and her eyes seemed positively to be emitting blue
sparks. Many a bold boy had I encountered on the sands before my
accident, and many a fearless girl, but such an impetuous antagonist
as this was new. I leaned on my crutches, however, and looked at her
unblenchingly.
'You wicked English boy, to make my father cry,' said she, as soon as
her anger allowed her to speak. 'If you were not lame I'd—I'd—I'd
hit you.'
I did not move a muscle, but stood lost in a dream of wonder at her
amazing loveliness. The fiery flush upon her face and neck, the
bewitching childish frown of anger corrugating the brow, the dazzling
glitter of the teeth, the quiver of the full scarlet lips above and
below them, turned me dizzy with admiration.
Her eyes met mine, and slowly the violet flames in them began to
soften. Then they died away entirely as she murmured,
'You wicked English boy, if you hadn't—beautiful—beautiful eyes,
I'd kill you.'
By this time, however, Tom had entirely forgotten his grievance
against me, and gazed upon Winifred in a state of drunken wonderment.
'Winifred,' he said, in a tone of sorrowful reproach, 'how dare you
speak like that to Master Aylwin, your father's best friend, the only
friend your poor father's got in the world, the friend as I give
ferret-eyed rabbits to, and tame hares, and beautiful skulls? Beg his
pardon this instant, Winifred. Down on your knees and beg my friend's
pardon this instant, Winifred.'
The poor little girl stood dazed, and was actually sinking down on
her knees on the grass before me.
I cried out in acute distress,
'No, no, no, no, Tom, pray don't let her—dear little girl! beautiful
little girl!'
'Very well, Master Aylwin,' said Tom grandly, 'she sha'n't if you
don't like, but she shall go and kiss you and make it up.'
At this the child's face brightened, and she came and laid her little
red lips upon mine. Velvet lips, I feel them now, soft and warm—I
feel them while I write these lines.
Tom looked on for a moment, and then left us, blundering away towards
Raxton, most likely to a beer-house.
He told the child that she was to go home and mind the house until he
returned. He gave her the church key to take home. We two were left
alone in the churchyard, looking at each other in silence, each
waiting for the other to speak. At last she said, demurely,
'Good-bye; father says I must go home.'
And she walked away with a business-like air towards the little white
gate of the churchyard, opening upon what was called 'The Wilderness
Road.' When she reached the gate she threw a look over her shoulder
as she passed through. It was that same look again—wistful, frank,
courageous. I immediately began to follow her, although I did not
know why. When she saw this she stopped for me. I got up to her, and
then we proceeded side by side in perfect silence along the dusty
narrow road, perfumed with the scent of wild rose and honeysuckle.
Suddenly she stopped and said,
'I have left my hat on the tower,' and laughed merrily at her own
heedlessness.
She ran back with an agility which I thought I had never seen
equalled. It made me sad to see her run so fast, though once how it
would have delighted me! I stood still; but when she reached the
church porch she again looked over her shoulder, and again I
followed her:—I did not in the least know why. That look I think
would have made me follow her through lire and water—it has made
me follow her through fire and water. When I reached her she put the
great black key in the lock. She had some difficulty in turning the
key, but I did not presume to offer such services as mine to so
superior a little woman. After one or two fruitless efforts with both
her hands, each attempt accompanied with a little laugh and a little
merry glance in my face, she turned the key and pushed open the door.
We both passed into the ghastly old church, through the green glass
windows of which the sun was shining, and illuminating the broken
remains of the high-hacked pews on the opposite side. She ran along
towards the belfry, and I soon lost her, for she passed up the stone
steps, where I knew I could not follow her.
In deep mortification I stood listening at the bottom of the
steps—listening to those little feet crunching up the broken
stones—listening to the rustle of her dress against the narrow stone
walls, until the sounds grew fainter and fainter, and then ceased.
Presently I heard her voice a long way up, calling out, 'Little boy,
if you go outside you will see something.' I guessed at once that she
was going to exhibit herself on the tower, where, before my accident,
I and my brother Frank were so fond of going. I went outside the
church and stood in the graveyard, looking up at the tower. In a
minute I saw her on it. Her face was turned towards me, gilded by the
golden sunshine. I could, or thought I could, even at that distance,
see the flash of the bright eyes looking at me. Then a little hand
was put over the parapet, and I saw a dark hat swinging by its
strings, as she was waving it to me. Oh! that I could have climbed
those steps and done that! But that exploit of hers touched a strange
chord within me. Had she been a boy, I could have borne it in a
defiant way; or had she been any other girl than this, my heart would
not have sunk as it now did when I thought of the gulf between her
and me. Down I sat upon a grave, and looked at her with a feeling
quite new to me.
This was a phase of cripplehood I had not contemplated. She soon left
the tower, and made her appearance at the church door again. After
locking it, which she did by thrusting a piece of stick through the
handle of the key, she came and stood over me. But I turned my eyes
away and gazed across the sea, and tried to deceive myself into
believing that the waves, and the gulls, and the sails dreaming on
the sky-line, and the curling clouds of smoke that came now and then
from a steamer passing Dullingham Point were interesting me deeply.
There was a remoteness about the little girl now, since I had seen
her unusual agility, and I was trying to harden my heart against her.
Loneliness I felt was best for me. She did not speak, but stood
looking at me. I turned my eyes round and saw that she was looking at
my crutches, which were lying beside me aslant the green hillock
where I sat. Her face had turned grave and pitiful.
'Oh! I forgot,' she said. 'I wish I had not run away from you now.'
'You may run where you like for what I care,' I said. But the words
were very shaky, and I had no sooner said them than I wished them
back. She made no reply for some time, and I sat plucking the
wild-flowers near my hands, and gazing again across the sea. At last
she said,
'Would you like to come in our garden? It's such a nice garden.'
I could resist her no longer. That voice would have drawn me had she
spoken in the language of the Toltecs or the lost Zamzummin. To
describe it would of course be impossible. The novelty of her accent,
the way in which she gave the 'h' in 'which,' 'what,' and 'when,' the
Welsh rhythm of her intonation, were as bewitching to me as the
timbre of her voice. And let me say here, once for all, that when I
sat down to write this narrative, I determined to give the English
reader some idea of the way in which, whenever her emotions were
deeply touched, her talk would run into soft Welsh diminutives; but I
soon abandoned the attempt in despair. I found that to use colloquial
Welsh with effect in an English context is impossible without
wearying English readers and disappointing Welsh ones.
Here, indeed, is one of the great disadvantages under which this book
will go out to the world. While a story-teller may reproduce, by
means of orthographical devices, something of the effect of Scottish
accent, Irish accent, or Manx accent, such devices are powerless to
represent Welsh accent.
I got up in silence, and walked by her side out of the churchyard
towards her father's cottage, which was situated between the new
church and the old, and at a considerable distance from the town of
Raxton on one side, and the village of Graylingham on the other. Her
eager young limbs would every moment take her ahead of me, for she
was as vigorous as a fawn. But by the time she was half a yard in
advance, she would recollect herself and fall back; and every time
she did so that same look of tenderness would overspread her face.
At last she said, 'What makes you stare at me so, little boy?'
I blushed and turned my head another way, for I had been feasting my
eyes upon her complexion, and trying to satisfy myself as to what it
really was like. Indeed, I thought it quite peculiar then, when I had
seen so few lovely faces, as I always did afterwards, when I had seen
as many as most people. It was, I thought, as though underneath the
sunburn the delicate pink tint of the hedge-rose had become mingled
with the bloom of a ripening peach, and yet it was like neither peach
nor rose. But this tone, whatever it was, did not spread higher than
the eyebrows. The forehead was different. It had a singular kind of
pearly look, and her long slender throat was almost of the same tone:
no, not the same, for there was a transparency about her throat
unlike that of the forehead. This colour I was just now thinking
looked something like the inside of a certain mysterious shell upon
my father's library shelf.
As she asked me her question she stopped, and looked straight at me,
opening her eyes wide and round upon me. This threw a look of
innocent trustfulness over her bright features which I soon learnt
was the chief characteristic of her expression and was altogether
peculiar to herself. I knew it was very rude to stare at people as I
had been staring at her, and I took her question as a rebuke,
although I still was unable to keep my eyes off her. But it was not
merely her beauty and her tenderness that had absorbed my attention.
I had been noticing how intensely she seemed to enjoy the delights of
that summer afternoon. As we passed along that road, where sea-scents
and land-scents were mingled, she would stop whenever the sunshine
fell full upon her face; her eyes would sparkle and widen with
pleasure, and a half-smile would play about her lips, as if some one
had kissed her. Every now and then she would stop to listen to the
birds, putting up her finger, and with a look of childish wisdom say,
'Do you know what that is? That's a blackbird—that's a
thrush—that's a goldfinch. Which eggs do you like best—a
goldfinch's or a bullfinch's? I know which I like best.'
While we were walking along the road a sound fell upon my ears which
in my hale days never produced any very unpleasant sensations, but
which did now. I mean the cackling of the field people of both sexes
returning from their day's work. These people knew me well, and they
liked me, and I am sure they had no idea that when they ran past me
on the road their looks and nods gave me no pleasure, but pain; and I
always tried to avoid them. As they passed us they somewhat modified
the noise they were making, but only to cackle, chatter, and bawl and
laugh at each other the louder after we were left behind.
'Don't you wish,' said the little girl meditatively, 'that men and
women had voices more like the birds?' The idea had never occurred to
me before, but I understood in a moment what she meant, and
sympathised with her. Nature of course has been unkind to the lords
and ladies of creation in this one matter of voice.
'Yes, I do.' I said.
'I'm so glad you do,' said she. 'I've so often thought what a pity it
is that God did not let men and women talk and sing as the birds do.
I believe He did let 'em talk like that in the Garden of Eden, don't
you?'
'I think it very likely,' I said.
'Men's voices are so rough mostly and women's voices are so sharp
mostly, that it's sometimes a little hard to love 'em as you love the
birds.'
'It is,' I said.
'Don't you think the poor birds must sometimes feel very much
distressed at hearing the voices of men and women, especially when
they all talk together?'
The idea seemed so original and yet so true that it made me laugh; we
both laughed. At that moment there came a still louder, noisier
clamour of voices from the villagers.
'The rooks mayn't mind.' said the little girl, pointing upwards to
the large rookery close by. whence came a noise marvellously like
that made by the field-workers. 'But I'm afraid the blackbirds and
thrushes can't like it. I do so wonder what they say about it.'
After we had left the rookery behind us and the noise of the
villagers had grown fainter, we stood and listened to the blackbirds
and thrushes. She looked so joyous that I could not help saying,
'Little girl, I think you're very happy, ain't you?'
'Not quite,' she said, as though answering a question she had just
been putting to herself. 'There's not enough wind.'
'Then do you like wind?' I said in surprise and delight.
'Oh, I love it!' she said rapturously. 'I can't be quite happy
without wind, can you? I like to run up the hills in the wind and
sing to it. That's when I am happiest. I couldn't live long without
the wind.'
Now it had been a deep-rooted conviction of mine that none but the
gulls and I really and truly liked the wind. 'Fishermen are muffs,' I
used to say; 'they talk about the wind as though it were an enemy,
just because it drowns one or two of 'em now and then. Anybody can
like sunshine; muffs can like sunshine; it takes a gull or a man to
like the wind!'
Such had been my egotism. But here was a girl who liked it! We
reached the gate of the garden in front of Tom's cottage, and then
we both stopped, looking over the neatly-kept flower-garden and the
white thatched cottage behind it, up the walls of which the
grape-vine leaves were absorbing the brilliance of the sunlight and
softening it. Wynne was a gardener as well as an organist, and had
gardens both in the front and at the back of his cottage, which was
surrounded by fruit-trees. Drunkard as he was, his two passions,
music and gardening, saved him from absolute degradation and ruin.
His garden was beautifully kept, and I have seen him deftly pruning
his vines when in such a state of drink that it was wonderful how he
managed to hold a priming-knife. Winifred opened the gate, and we
passed in. Wynne's little terrier, Snap, came barking to meet us.
There was an air of delicious peacefulness about the garden. This
also tended to soften that hardness of temper which only cripples who
have once rejoiced in their strength can possibly know, I hope.
'I like to see you look so,' said the little girl, as I melted
entirely under these sweet influences. 'You looked so cross before
that I was nearly afraid of you.'
And she took hold of my hand, not hesitatingly, but frankly. The
little fingers clasped mine. I looked at them. They were much more
sun-tanned than her face. The little rosy nails were shaped like
filbert nuts.
'Why were you not quite afraid of me?' I asked.
'Because,' said she, 'under the crossness I saw that you had great
love-eyes like Snap's all the while. I saw it!' she said, and
laughed with delight at her great wisdom. Then she said with a sudden
gravity, 'You didn't mean to make my father cry, did you, little
boy?'
'No,' I said.
'And you love him?' said she.
I hesitated, for I had never told a lie in my life. My business
relations with Tom had been of an entirely unsatisfactory character,
and the idea of any one's loving the beery scamp presented itself in
a ludicrous light. I got out of the difficulty by saying,
'I mean to love Tom very much, if I can.'
The answer did not appear to be entirely satisfactory to the little
girl, but it soon seemed to pass from her mind.
That was the most delightful afternoon I had ever spent in my life.
We seemed to become old friends in a few minutes, and in an hour or
two she was the closest friend I had on earth. Not all the little
shoeless friends in Raxton, not all the beautiful sea-gulls I loved,
not all the sunshine and wind upon the sands, not all the wild bees
in Graylingham Wilderness, could give the companionship this child
could give. My flesh tingled with delight. (And yet all the while I
was not Hal the conqueror of ragamuffins, but Hal the cripple!)
'Shall we go and get some strawberries?' she said, as we passed to
the back of the house. 'They are quite ripe.'
But my countenance fell at this. I was obliged to tell her that I
could not stoop.
'Ah! but I can, and I will pluck them and give them to you. I should
like to do it. Do let me, there's a good boy.'
I consented, and hobbled by her side to the verge of the
strawberry-beds. But when I foolishly tried to follow her, I stuck
ignominiously, with my crutches sunk deep in the soft mould of rotten
leaves. Here was a trial for the conquering hero of the coast. I
looked into her face to see if there was not, at last, a laugh upon
it. That cruel human laugh was my only dread. To everything but
ridicule I had hardened myself; but against that I felt helpless.
I looked into her face to see if she was laughing at my lameness. No:
her brows were merely knit with anxiety as to how she might best
relieve me. This surpassingly beautiful child, then, had evidently
accepted me—lameness and all—crutches and all—as a subject of
peculiar interest.
How I loved her as I put my hand upon her firm little shoulders,
while I extricated first one crutch and then another, and at last got
upon the hard path again!
When she had landed me safely, she returned to the strawberry-bed,
and began busily gathering the fruit, which she brought to me in her
sunburnt hands, stained to a bright pink by the ripe fruit. Such a
charm did she throw over me, that at last I actually consented to her
putting the fruit into my mouth.
She then told me with much gravity that she knew how to 'cure
crutches.' There was, she said, a famous 'crutches-well' in Wales,
kept by St. Winifred (most likely an aunt of hers, being of the same
name), whose water could 'cure crutches.' When she came from Wales
again she would be sure to bring a bottle of 'crutches-water.' She
told me also much about Snowdon (near which she lived), and how, on
misty days, she used to 'make believe that she was the Lady of the
Mist, and that she was going to visit the Tywysog o'r Niwl, the
Prince of the Mist; it was so nice!'
I do not know how long we kept at this, but the organist returned and
caught her in the very act of feeding me. To be caught in this
ridiculous position, even by a drunken man, was more than I could
bear, however, and I turned and left.
As I recall that walk home along Wilderness Road. I live it as
thoroughly as I did then. I can see the rim of the sinking sun
burning fiery red low down between the trees on the left, and then
suddenly dropping out of sight. I can see on the right the lustre of
the high-tide sea. I can hear the 'che-eu-chew, che-eu-chew.' of the
wood-pigeons in Graylingham Wood. I can smell the very scent of the
bean flowers drinking in the evening dews. I did not feel that I was
going home as the sharp gables of the Hall gleamed through the
chestnut-trees. My home for evermore was the breast of that lovely
child, between whom and myself such a strange delicious sympathy had
sprung up. I felt there was no other home for me.
'Why, child, where have you been?' said my mother, as she saw me
trying to slip to bed unobserved, in order that happiness such as
mine might not he brought into coarse contact with servants. 'Child,
where have you been, and what has possessed you? Your face is
positively shining with joy, and your eyes, they alarm me, they are
so unnaturally bright. I hope you are not going to have an illness.'
I did not tell her, but went to my room, which now was on the ground
floor, and sat watching the rooks sailing home in the sunset till the
last one had gone, and the voices of the blackbirds grew less
clamorous, and the trees began to look larger and larger in the dusk.
The next day I was again at Wynne's cottage, and the next, and the
next. We two, Winifred and I, used to stroll out together through the
narrow green lanes, and over the happy fields, and about the
Wilderness and the wood, and along the cliffs, and then down the
gangway at Flinty Point (the only gangway that was firm enough to
support my crutches, Winifred aiding me with the skill of a woman and
the agility of a child), and then along the flints below Flinty
Point. She rapidly fell into my habits. She was an adept in finding
birds' nests and wild honey; and though she would not consent to my
taking the eggs, she had not the same compunction about the honey,
and she only regretted with me that we could not be exactly like St.
John, as Graylingham Wilderness yielded no locusts to eat with the
honey. Winifred, though the most healthy of children, had a passion
for the deserted church on the cliffs, and for the desolate
churchyard.
It was one of those flint and freestone churches that are sprinkled
along the coast. Situated as it was at the back of a curve cut by the
water into the end of a peninsula running far into the sea, the tower
looked in the distance like a lighthouse. I observed after the first
day of our meeting that Winifred never would mount the tower steps
again. And I knew why. So delicate were her feelings, so acute did
her kind little heart make her, that she would not mount steps which
I could never mount.
Not that Winifred looked upon me as her little lover. There was not
much of the sentimental in her. Once when I asked her on the sands if
I might be her lover, she took an entirely practical view of the
question, and promptly replied 'certumly,' adding, however, like the
wise little woman I always found her, that she 'wasn't quite sure
she knew what a lover was, but if it was anything very nice she
should certumly like me to be it.'
It was the child's originality of manner that people found so
captivating. One of her many little tricks and ways of an original
quaintness was her habit of speaking of herself in the third person,
like the merest baby. 'Winifred likes this,' 'Winifred doesn't like
that,' were phrases that had an irresistible fascination for me.
Another fascinating characteristic of hers was connected with her
superstitions. Whenever on parting with her I exclaimed, as I often
did. 'Oh, what a lovely day we have had, Winifred!' she would look
expectantly in my eyes, murmuring, 'And—and—' This meant that I
was to say. 'And shall have many more such days,' as though there
were a prophetic power in words.
She talked with entire seriousness of having seen in a place called
Fairy Glen in Wales the Tylwyth Teg. And when I told her of Oberon
and Titania, and A Midsummer Night's Dream, whose acquaintance I
had made through Lamb's Tales from Shakespeare, she said that one
bright moonlight night she, in the company of two of her Gypsy
playmates, Rhona Boswell and a girl called Sinfi, had visited this
same Fairy Glen, when they saw the Fairy Queen alone on a ledge of
rock, dressed in a green kirtle with a wreath of golden leaves about
her head.
Another subject upon which I loved to hear her talk was that of the
'Knockers' of Snowdon, the guardians of undiscovered copper mines,
who sometimes by knocking on the rocks gave notice to individuals
they favoured of undiscovered copper, but these favoured ones were
mostly children who chanced to wander up Snowdon by themselves. She
had, she said, not only heard but seen these Knockers. They were
thick-set dwarfs, as broad as they were long. One Knocker, an elderly
female, had often played with her on the hills. Knockers' Llyn,
indeed, was very much on Winifred's mind. When a golden cloud, like
the one on which she was singing her song at the time I first saw
her, shone over a person's head at Knockers' Llyn, it was a sign of
good fortune. She was sure that it was so, because the Welsh people
believed it, and so did the Gypsies.
Not a field or a hedgerow was unfamiliar to us. We were most learned
in the structure of birds' nests, in the various colours of birds'
eggs, and in insect architecture. In all the habits or the wild
animals of the meadows we were most profound little naturalists.
Winifred could in the morning, after the dews were gone, tell by the
look of a buttercup or a daisy what kind of weather was at hand, when
the most cunning peasant was deceived by the hieroglyphics of the
sky, and the most knowing seaman could 'make nothing of the wind.'
Her life, in fact, had been spent in the open air.
There were people staying at the Hall, and they and Frank engrossed
all my mother's attention. At least, she did not appear to notice my
absence from home.
My brother Frank, however, was not so unobservant (he was two years
older than myself). Early one morning, before breakfast, curiosity
led him to follow me, and he came upon us in Graylingham Wood as we
were sitting under a tree close to the cliff, eating the wild honey
we had found in the Wilderness.
He stood there swinging a ground-ash cane, and looking at her in a
lordly, patronising way, the very personification no doubt of boyish
beauty. I became troubled to see him look so handsome. The contrast
between him and a cripple was not fair, I thought, as I observed an
expression of passing admiration on little Winifred's face. Yet I
thought there was not the pleased smile with which she had first
greeted me, and a weight of anxiety was partially removed, for it had
now become quite evident to me that I was as much in love as any
swain of eighteen—it had become quite evident that without Winifred
the poor little shattered sea-gull must perish altogether. She was
literally my world.
Frank came and sat down with us, and made himself as agreeable as
possible. He tried to enter into our play, but we were too slow for
him; he soon became restless and impatient. 'Oh bother!' he said, and
got up and left us.
I drew a sigh of relief when he was gone.
'Do you like my brother, Winifred?' I said.
'Yes.' she said.
'Why?'
'Because he is so pretty and so nimble. I believe he could run
up—' and then she stopped; but I knew what the complete sentence
would have been. She was going to say: 'I believe he could run up the
gangways without stopping to take breath.'
Here was a stab; but she did not notice the effect of her unfinished
sentence. Then a question came from me involuntarily.
'Winifred,' I said, 'do you like him as well as you like me?'
'Oh no,' she said, in a tone of wonderment that such a question
should be asked.
'But I am not pretty and—'
'Oh, but you are!' she said eagerly, interrupting me.
'But,' I said, with a choking sensation in my voice, 'I am lame.' and
I looked at the crutches lying among the ferns beside me.
'Ah, but I like you all the better for being lame,' she said,
nestling up to me.
'But you like nimble boys,' I said, 'such as Frank.'
She looked puzzled. The anomaly of liking nimble boys and crippled
boys at the same time seemed to strike her. Yet she felt it was so,
though it was difficult to explain it.
'Yes, I do like nimble boys,' she said at last, plucking with her
fingers at a blade of grass she held between her teeth. 'But I think
I like lame boys better, that is if they are—if they are—you.'
I gave an exclamation of delight. But she was two years younger than
I, and scarcely, I suppose, understood it.
'He is very pretty,' she said meditatively, 'but he has not got
love-eyes like you and Snap, and I don't think I could love any
little boy so very, very much now who wasn't lame.'
She loved me in spite of my lameness; she loved me because I was
lame, so that if I had not fallen from the cliffs, if I had sustained
my glorious position among the boys of Raxton and Graylingham as
'Fighting Hal.' I might never have won little Winifred's love. Here
was a revelation of the mingled yarn of life, that I remember struck
me even at that childish age.
I began to think I might, in spite of the undoubted crutches, resume
my old place as the luckiest boy along the sands. She loved me
because I was lame! Those who say that physical infirmity does not
feminise the character have not had my experience. No more talk for
me that morning. In such a mood as that there can be no talk. I sat
in a silent dream, save when a sweet sob of delight would come up
like a bubble from the heaving waters of my soul. I had passed into
that rare and high mood when life's afflictions are turned by love to
life's deepest, holiest joys. I had begun early to learn and know the
gamut of the affections.
'When, you leave me here and go home to Wales you will never forget
me. Winnie?'
'Never, never!' she said, as she helped me from the ferns which were
still as wet with dew as though it had been raining. 'I will think of
you every night before I go to sleep, and always end my prayers as I
did that first night after I saw you so lonely in the churchyard.'
'And how is that, Winnie?' I said, as she adjusted my crutches for
me.
'After I've said "Amen," I always say, "And, dear Lord Jesus, don't
forget to love dear Henry, who can't get up the gangways without me,"
and I will say that every night as long as I live.'
From that morning I considered her altogether mine. Her speaking of
me as the 'dear little English boy,' however, as she did, marred the
delight her words gave me. I had from the first observed that the
child's strongest passion was a patriotism of a somewhat fiery kind.
The word English in her mouth seemed some-times a word of reproach:
it was the name of the race that in the past had invaded her sacred
Snowdonia.
I afterwards learnt that her aunt was answerable for this senseless
prejudice.
'Winnie,' I said, 'don't you wish I was a Welsh boy?'
'Oh yes,' she said.'Don't you?' I made no answer.
She looked into my face and said, 'And yet I don't think I could love
a Welsh boy as I love you.'
She then repeated to me a verse of a Welsh song, which of course I
did not understand a word of until she told me what it meant in
English.
It was an address to Snowdon, and ran something like this—
Mountain-wild Snowdon for me!
Sweet silence there for the harp,
Where loiter the ewes and the lambs
In the moss and the rushes,
Where one's song goes sounding up!
And the rocks re-echo it higher and higher
In the height where the eagles live.
In this manner about six weeks slid away, and Winnie's visit to her
father came to an end. I ask, how can people laugh at the sorrows of
childhood? The bitterness of my misery as I sat with that child on
the eve of her departure for Wales (which to me seemed at the extreme
end of the earth) was almost on a par with anything I have since
suffered, and that is indeed saying a great deal. It was in Wynne's
cottage, and I sat on the floor with her wet cheeks close to mine,
saying, 'She leaves me alone.' Tom tried to console me by telling me
that Winifred would soon come back.
'But when?' I said.
'Next year,' said Tom.
He might as well have said next century, for any consolation it gave
me. The idea of a year without her was altogether beyond my grasp. It
seemed infinite.
Week after week passed, and month after month, and little Winifred
was always in my thoughts. Wynne's cottage was a sacred spot to me,
and the organist the most interesting man in the world. I never tired
of asking him questions about her, though he, as I soon found, knew
scarcely anything concerning her and what she was doing, and cared
less; for love of drink had got thoroughly hold of him.
Letters were scarce visitants to him, and I believe he never used to
hear from Wales at all.
At the end of the year she came again, and I had about a year of
happiness. I was with her every day, and every day she grew more
necessary to my existence.
It was at this time that I made the acquaintance of Winnie's friend
Rhona Boswell, a charming little Gypsy girl. Graylingham Wood and
Rington Wood, like the entire neighbourhood, were favourite haunts of
a superior kind of Gypsies called Griengroes, that is to say,
horse-dealers. Their business was to buy ponies in Wales and sell
them in the Eastern Counties and the East Midlands. Thus it was that
Winnie had known many of the East Midland Gypsies in Wales. Compared
with Rhona Boswell, who was more like a fairy than a child, Winnie
seemed quite a grave little person. Rhona's limbs were always on the
move, and the movement sprang always from her emotions. Her laugh
seemed to ring through the woods like silver bells, a sound that it
was impossible to mistake for any other. The laughter of most Gypsy
girls is full of music and of charm, and yet Rhona's laughter was a
sound by itself, and it was no doubt this which afterwards when she
grew up attracted my kinsman, Percy Aylwin, towards her. It seemed to
emanate not from her throat merely, but from her entire frame. If one
could imagine a strain of merriment and fun blending with the
ecstatic notes of a skylark soaring and singing, one might form some
idea of the laugh of Rhona Boswell. Ah, what days they were! Rhona
would come from Gypsy Dell, a romantic place in Rington Manor some
miles off, especially to show us some newly devised coronet of
flowers that she had been weaving for herself. This induced Winnie to
weave for herself a coronet of sea-weeds, and an entire morning was
passed in grave discussion as to which coronet excelled the other.
A year had made a great difference in Winnie, a much greater
difference than it had made in me. Her aunt, who was no doubt a
well-informed woman, had been attending to her education. In a single
year she had taught her French so thoroughly that Winnie was in the
midst of Dumas' Monte Cristo. And apart from education in the
ordinary acceptation of the word, the expansion of her mind had been
rapid and great.
Her English vocabulary was now far above mine, far above that of most
children of her age. This I discovered was owing to the fact that a
literary English lady of delicate health, Miss Dalrymple, whose
slender means obliged her to leave the Capel Curig Hotel, had been
staying at the cottage as a lodger. She had taken I the greatest
delight in educating Winnie. Of course Winnie lost as well as gained
by this change. She was a little Welsh rustic no longer, but a little
lady unusually well equipped, as far as education went, for taking
her place in the world.
She understood fully now what I meant when I told her that we were
betrothed, and again showed that mingling of child-wisdom and poetry
which characterised her by suggesting that we should be married on
Snowdon, and that her wedding-dress should be the green kirtle and
wreath of the fairies, and that her bridesmaids should be her Gypsy
friends, Sinfi Lovell and Rhona Boswell. This I acceded to with
alacrity.
It was now that I fully realised for the first time her extraordinary
gift of observation and her power of describing what she had observed
in the graphic language that can never be taught save by the teacher
Nature herself. In a dozen picturesque words she would flash upon my
very senses the scene that she was describing. So vividly did she
bring before my eyes the scenery of North Wales, that when at last I
went there it seemed quite familiar to me. And so in describing
individuals, her pictures of them were like photographs.
Graylingham Wood was our favourite haunt. This place and the
adjoining piece of waste land, called the Wilderness, had for us all
the charms of a primeval forest. Here in the early spring we used to
come and watch the first violet uplifting its head from the dark green
leaves behind the mossy boles, and listen for the first note of the
blackcap, the nightingale's herald, and the first coo of the
wood-pigeons among the bare and newly-budding trees. And here, in the
summer, we used to come as soon as breakfast was over with as many
story-books as we could carry, and sit on the grass and revel in the
wonders of the Arabian Nights. the Tales of the Genii, and the
Seven Champions of Christendom, till all the leafy alleys of the
wood were glittering with armed knights and Sinbads and Aladdins. The
story of Camaralzaman and Badoura was, I think, Winnie's chief
favourite. She could repeat it almost word for word. The idea of the
two lovers being carried to each other by genii through the air and
over the mountain tops had an especial fascination for her. I was
Camaralzaman and she Badoura, and the genii would carry me to her as
she sat by Knockers' Llyn, or, as she called it, Llyn Coblynau, on
the lower slopes of Snowdon.
But above all, there was the sea on the other side of the wood, of
the presence of which we were always conscious—the sea, of which we
could often catch glimpses between the trees, lending a sense of
freedom and wonder and romance such as no landscape can lend. Our
great difficulty of course was in connection with my lameness. Few
children would have tried to convey a pair of crutches and a lame leg
down the cliff to the long level brown sands that lay, farther than
the eye could reach, stretched beneath miles on miles of brown
crumbling cliffs, whose jagged points and indentations had the kind
of spectral look peculiar to that coast. For, alas! the holy water
Winifred brought did not 'cure the crutches.' Yet we used to master
the difficulty, always selecting the firmer gangway at Flinty Point,
and always waiting, before making the attempt, until there was no one
near to see us toiling down. Once down on the hard sands just below
the Point, we were happy, paddling and enjoying ourselves till the
sunset told us that we must begin our herculean labour of hoisting
the leg and crutches up the gangway back to the wood. I have
performed many athletic feats since my cure, but nothing comparable
to the feat of climbing with crutches up those paths of yielding
sand. Once we found on the sand a newly shot gull. She took it in her
lap and mourned over it. I guessed who was the poor bird's
murderer—her father!
We knew Nature in all her moods. In every aspect we found the sea,
the wood, and the meadows happy and beautiful—in winter as in
summer, in storm as in sunshine. In the foggy days of November, in
the sharp winds of March, in the snows and sleet and rain of
February, we used to hear other people complain of the bad weather;
we used to hear them fret for change. But we despised them for their
ignorance where we were so learned. There was no bad weather for us.
In March, what so delicious as breasting together the brave wind, and
feeling it tingle our cheeks and beat our ears till we laughed at
each other with joy? In rain, what so delicious as to stand under a
tree or behind a hedge and listen to the drops pattering overhead
among the leaves, and see the fields steaming up to meet them? Then
again the soft falling of snow upon the lonely fields, while the very
sheep looked brown against the whiteness gathering round them. All
beautiful to us two, and beloved!
'But where was this little boy's mother all this time?' you naturally
ask; 'where was his father? In a word, who was he? and what were his
surroundings?'
I will answer these queries in as brief a fashion as possible.
My father, Philip Aylwin, belonged to a branch of an ancient family
which had been satirically named by another branch of the same family
'The Proud Aylwins.'
It is a singular thing that it was the proud Aylwins who had a
considerable strain of Gypsy blood in their veins. My great-grandfather
had married Fenella Stanley, the famous Gypsy beauty, about whom so
much was written in the newspapers and magazines of that period. She
had previously when a girl of sixteen married a Lovell who died and
left a child. Fenella's portrait in the character of the Sibyl of
Snowdon was painted by the great portrait painter of that time.
This picture still hangs in the portrait gallery of Raxton Hall.
As a child it had an immense attraction for me, and no wonder, for it
was original to actual eccentricity. It depicted a dark young woman
of dazzling beauty standing at break of day among mountain scenery,
holding a musical instrument of the guitar kind, but shaped like a
violin, upon the lower strings of which she was playing with the
thumb of the left hand.
Through the misty air were seen all kinds of shadowy shapes, whose
eyes were fixed on the player. I used to stand and look at this
picture by the hour together, fascinated by the strange beauty of the
singer's face and the mysterious, prophetic expression in the eyes.
And I used to try to imagine what tune it was that could call from
the mountain air the 'flower sprites' and 'sunshine elves' of morning
on the mountain.
Fenella Stanley seems in her later life to have set up as a positive
seeress, and I infer from certain family papers and diaries in my
possession that she was the very embodiment of the wildest Romany
beliefs and superstitions.
I first became conscious of the mysterious links which, bound me to
my Gypsy ancestress by reading one of her letters to my
great-grandfather, who had taught her to write: nothing apparently
could have taught her to spell. It was written during a short stay
she was making away from him in North Wales. It described in the
simplest (and often the most uncouth) words that Nature-ecstasy which
the Romanies seem to feel in the woodlands. It came upon me like a
revelation, for it was the first time I had ever seen embodied in
words the sensations which used to come to me in Graylingham Wood or
on the river that ran through it. After long basking among the
cowslips, or beneath the whispering branches of an elm, whose shade I
was robbing from the staring cows around, or lying on my hack in a
boat on the river, listening to the birds and the insect hum and all
the magic music of summer in the woodlands, I used all at once to
feel as though the hand of a great enchantress were being waved
before me and around me. The wheels of thought would stop; all the
senses would melt into one, and I would float on a tide of
unspeakable joy, a tide whose waves were waves neither of colour, nor
perfume, nor melody, but new waters born of the mixing of these; and
through a language deeper than words and deeper than thoughts, I
would seem carried at last close to an actual consciousness—a
consciousness which, to my childish dreams, seemed drawing me close
to the bosom of a mother whose face would brighten into that of
Feuella.
My father lived upon moderate means in the little seaside town of
Raxton. My mother was his second wife, a distant cousin of the same
name. She was not one of the 'Proud Aylwins,' and yet she must have
had more pride in her heart than all the 'Proud Aylwins' put
together. Her feeling in relation to the strain of Gypsy blood in the
family into which she had married was that of positive terror. She
associated the word 'Gypsy' with everything that is wild, passionate,
and lawless.
One great cause undoubtedly of her partiality for Frank and her
dislike of me was that Frank's blue-eyed Saxon face showed no sign
whatever of the Romany strain, while my swarthy face did.
As I write this, she lives before me with more vividness than my
father, for the reason that her character during my childhood, before
I came to know my father thoroughly—before I came to know what a
marvellous man he was—seemed to be a thousand times more vivid than
his. With her bright grey eyes, her patrician features, I shall see
her while memory lasts. The only differences that ever arose between
my father and my other were connected with the fact that my father
had a former wife. Now and then (not often) my mother would lose her
stoical self-command, and there would come from her an explosion of
jealous anger, stormy and terrible. This was on occasions when she
perceived bat my father's memory retained too vividly the impression
left on it of his love for the wife who was dead—dead, but a rival
still. My father lived in mortal fear of this jealousy. Yet my mother
was a devoted and a fond wife. I remember in especial the flash that
would come from her eyes, the fiery flush that would overspread her
face, whenever she saw my father open certain antique silver casket
which he kept in his escritoire when at home, and carried about with
him when travelling. The casket (I soon learned) contained momentos
of his first wife, between whom and himself there seems to have been
a deep natural sympathy such did not exist between my mother and him.
This first wife he had lost under peculiarly painful circum-stances,
which it is necessary that I should briefly narrate. She had been
drowned before his very eyes that cove beneath the church which I
have already described.
This semicircular indentation at the end of the peninsula or headland
on which the church stood was specially dangerous in two ways. It was
a fatal spot where sea and land were equally treacherous. On the
sands the tide, and on the cliffs the landslip, imperilled the lives
of the unwary. Half, at least, of the churchyard had been condemned
as 'dangerous,' and this very same spot was the only one on the coast
where the pedestrian along the sands ran any serious risk of being
entrapped by the tide; for the peninsula on which the church stood
jutted out for a considerable distance into the sea, and then was
scooped out in the form of a boot-jack, and so caught the full force
of the waves. One corner, as already mentioned, was called Flinty
Point, the other Needle Point, and between these two points there was
no gangway within the semicircle up the wall of cliff. Indeed, within
the cove the cliff was perpendicular, or rather overhanging, as far
as such crumbling earth would admit of its overhanging. To reach a
gangway, a person inside the cove would have to leave the cliff wall
for the open sands, and pass round either Needle Point or Flinty
Point. Hence the cove was sometimes called Mousetrap Cove, because
when the tide reached so high as to touch these two points, a person
on the sands within the cove was caught as in a mousetrap, and the
only means of extrication was by boat from the sea. It was the
irresistible action of the sea upon the peninsula (called Church
Headland) that had doomed church and churchyard to certain
destruction.
Dangerous as was this cove, there was something peculiarly
fascinating about it. The black, smooth, undulating boulders that
dotted the sand here and there formed the most delightful seats upon
which to meditate or read. It was a favourite spot with my father's
first wife, who had been a Swiss governess. She was a great reader
and student, but it was not till after her death that my father
became one. The poor lady was fond of bringing her books to the cove,
and pursuing her studies or meditations with the sound of the sea's
chime in her ears. My father, at that time I believe a simple, happy
country squire, but showing strong signs of his Romany ancestry, had
often warned her of the risk she ran, and one day he had the agony of
seeing her from the cliff locked in the cove, and drowning before his
eyes ere a boat could be got, while he and the coastguard stood
powerless to reach her.
The effect of this shock demented my father for a time. How it was
that he came to marry again I could never understand. During my
childhood he had, as far as I could see, no real sympathy with
anything save his own dreams. In after years I came to know the
truth. He was kind enough in disposition, but he looked upon us, his
children, as his second wife's property, his dreams as his own. Once
every year he used to go to Switzerland and stay there for several
weeks; and, as the object of these journeys was evidently to revisit
the old spots made sacred to him by reminiscences of his romantic
love for his first wife, it may he readily imagined that they were
not looked upon with any favour by my mother. She never accompanied
him on these occasions, nor would she let Frank do so—another proof
of the early partiality she showed for my brother. As I was of less
importance, my father (previous to my accident) used to take me, to
my intense delight and enjoyment; but during the period of my
lameness he went to Switzerland alone.
It was during one of my childish visits to Switzerland that I learnt
an important fact in connection with my father and his first
wife—the fact that since her death he had become a mystic and had
joined a certain sect of mystics founded by Lavater.
This is how I came to know it. My attention had been arrested by a
book lying on my father's writing-table—a large book called 'The
Veiled Queen, by Philip Aylwin'—and I began to read it. The
statements therein were of an astounding kind, and the idea of a
beautiful woman behind a veil completely fascinated my childish mind.
And the book was full of the most amazing stories collected from all
kinds of outlandish sources. One story, called 'The Flying Donkey of
the Ruby Hills,' riveted my attention so much that it possessed me,
and even now I feel that I can repeat every word of it. It was a
story of a donkey-driver, who, having lost his wife Alawiyah, went
and lived alone in the ruby hills of Badakhshan, where the Angel of
Memory fashioned for him out of his own sorrow and tears an image of
his wife. This image was mistaken by a townsman named Hasan for his
own wife, and Ja'afar was summoned before the Ka'dee. Afterwards,
when The Veiled Queen came into my possession, I noticed that this
story was quoted for motto on the title-page:
'Then quoth the Ka'dee, laughing until his grinders appeared:
"Rather, by Allah, would I take all the punishment thou dreadest,
thou most false donkey-driver of the Ruby Hills, than believe this
story of thine—this mad, mad story, that she with whom thou wast
seen was not the living wife of Hasan here (as these four legal
witnesses have sworn), but thine own dead spouse, Alawiyah,
refashioned for thee by the Angel of Memory out of thine own sorrow
and unquenchable fountain of tears."
'Quoth Ja'afar, bowing low his head: "Bold is the donkey-driver,
O Ka'dee! and bold the Ka'dee who dares say what he will believe,
what disbelieve—not knowing in any wise the mind of Allah—not
knowing in any wise his own heart and what it shall some day
suffer."'
This story so absorbed me that when my father re-entered the house
I was perfectly unconscious of his presence. He took the book from
me, saying that it was not a book for children. It possessed my mind
for some days. What I had read in it threw light upon certain
conversations in French and German which I had heard between my
father and his Swiss friends, and the fact gradually dawned upon me
that he believed himself to be in direct communication with the
spirit of his dead wife. This so acted upon my imagination that I
began to feel that she was actually alive, though invisible. I told
Frank when I got home that we had another mother in Switzerland, and
that I our father went to Switzerland to see her.
Having at that time a passionate love for my mother (a love none the
less passionate because somewhat coldly returned), I felt great anger
against this resuscitated rival; but Frank only laughed and called me
a stupid little fool.
Luckily Frank forgot my story in a minute, and it never reached my
mother's ears.
I Some years after this an odd incident occurred. The I idea of a
veiled lady had, as I say, fascinated me. One Raxton fair-day I
induced Winnie to be photographed on the sands, wearing a crown of
sea-flowers in imitation of Rhona Boswell's famous wild-flower
coronet, and a necklace of seaweed, with Frank and another boy
lifting from her head a long white veil of my mother's. My father
accidentally saw this photograph, and was so taken with it that he
adorned the title-page of the third edition of The Veiled Queen
with a small woodcut of it.
These vagaries of my father's had an influence upon my destiny of the
most tragic, yet of the most fantastic kind.
He had the reputation, I believe, of being one of the most learned
mystics of his time. He was a fair Hebrew scholar, and also had a
knowledge of Sanscrit, Arabic, and Persian. His passion for philology
was deep-rooted. He was a no less ardent numismatist. Moreover, he
was deeply versed in amulet-lore. He wrote a treatise upon 'amulets'
and their inscriptions. All this was after the death of his first
wife. He had a large collection of amulets, Gnostic gems, and
abraxas stones. That he really believed in the virtue of amulets will
be pretty clearly seen as my narrative proceeds. Indeed, the subject
of amulets and love-tokens became a mania with him. After his death
it was said that his collection of amulets, Egyptian, Gnostic, and
other, was rarer, and his collection of St. Helena coins larger,
than any other collection in England.
Though my mother did not know of the spiritualistic orgies in
Switzerland, she knew that my father was a spiritualist. And this
vexed her, not only because she conceived it to be visionary folly,
but because it was 'low.' She knew that it led him to join a
newly-formed band of Latter-Day mystics which had been organised at
Raxton, but luckily she did not know that through them he believed
himself to be holding communication with his first wife. The members
of this body were tradespeople of the town, and I quite think that in
my mother's eyes all tradespeople were low.
As to her indifference towards me,—that is easily explained. I was
an incorrigible little bohemian by nature. She despaired of ever
changing me. During several years this indifference distressed me,
though it in no way diminished my affection for her. At last,
however, I got accustomed to it and accepted it as inevitable. But
the remarkable thing was that Frank's affection for his mother was of
the most languid kind. He was an open-hearted boy, and never took
advantage of my mother's favouritism. Thus I was left entirely to my
own resources. My little love-idyl with Winifred was for a long time
unknown to my mother, and no amount of ocular demonstration could
have made it known (in such a dream was he) to my father.
On one occasion, however, my mother, having been struck by her beauty
at church, told Wynne to bring her to the house, little thinking what
she was doing. Accordingly, Winifred came one evening and charmed my
mother, charmed the entire household, by her grace of manner. My
mother, upon whom what she called 'style' made a far greater
impression than anything else, pronounced her to be a perfect little
lady, and I heard her remark that she wondered how the child of such
a scapegrace as Wynne could have been so reared.
Unfortunately I was not old enough to disguise the transports of
delight that set my heart beating and my crippled limbs trembling as
I saw Winifred gliding like a fairy about the house and gardens, and
petted even by my proud and awful mother. My mother did not fail to
notice this, and before long she had got from Frank the history of
our little loves, and even of the 'cripple water' from St. Winifred's
Well. I partly heard what Frank was telling her, and I was the only
one to notice the expression of displeasure that overspread her
features. She did not, however, show it to the child, but she never
invited her there again, and from that evening was much more vigilant
over my movements, lest I should go to Wynne's cottage. I still,
however, continued to meet Winifred in Graylingham Wood during her
stay with her father; and at last, when she again left me, I felt
desolate indeed.
I wrote her a letter, and took it to him to address. He was very fond
of showing his penmanship, which was remarkably good. He had indeed
been well educated, though from his beer-house associations he had
entirely caught the rustic accent. I saw him address it, and took it
myself to the post-office at Rington, where I was not so well known
as at Raxton, but I never got any reply.
And who was Tom Wynne? Though the organist of the new church at
Raxton, and custodian of the old deserted church on the cliffs, he
was the local ne'er-do-well, drunkard, and scapegrace. He was,
however, a well-connected man, reduced to his present position by
drink. He had lived in Raxton until he returned to Wales, which was
his birthplace—having obtained there some appointment the nature of
which I never could understand. In Wales he had got married; and
there his wife had died shortly after the birth of Winnie. It was no
doubt through his intemperate habits that he lost his post in Wales.
It was then that he again came to Raxton, leaving the child with his
sister-in-law.
Raxton stands on that part of the coast where the land-springs most
persistently disintegrate the hills and render them helpless against
the ravages of the sea. Perhaps even within the last few centuries
the spot called Mousetrap Cove, scooped out of the peninsula on which
the old church stands, was dry land. The old Raxton church at the end
of this peninsula had, not many years since, to be deserted for a new
one, lest it should some day carry its congregation with it when it
slides, as it soon will slide, into the sea. But as none had dared to
pull down the old church, a custodian had to be found who for a
pittance would take charge of it and of the important monuments it
contains. Such a custodian was found in Wynne, who lived in the
cottage already described on the Wilderness Road. Along this road
(which passed both the new church and the old) I was frequently
journeying, and Wynne's tall burly form and ruddy face were, even
before I knew Winnie, a certain comfort to me.
He was said to be the last remnant of an old family that once owned
much land in the neighbourhood, and he was still the recipient of a
small pension. My father used to say that Wynne's family was even
exceptionally good, that it laid claim to being descended from a
still older Welsh family. But my mother scorned the idea, and always
treated the organist as belonging to the lower classes. It was Wynne
who had taught me swimming. It was really he, and not my groom, who
had taught me how to ride a horse along the low-tide sands so as not
to distress him or damage his feet.
It was about this time that my uncle Aylwin of Alvanley, my mother's
brother, who had quarrelled with her, became reconciled to her, and
came to Raxton. He at once recommended that a friend of his, a famous
London surgeon, should he consulted about my lameness. I accordingly
went with him to London to be placed under the treatment of the
eminent man. Had this been done earlier, what a world of suffering
might have been spared me! The man of science pronounced my ailment
to be quite curable.
He performed an operation upon the leg, and after a long and careful
course of treatment in town, advised that I should go to Margate for
a long stay, and avail myself of that change of air. I went,
accompanied by my mother and brother, and stayed there several
months. My father used to come to see us once a month or so, stay for
a week, and then go back.
I now wrote another letter to Winifred, and after a long delay, got a
reply, but it consisted mainly of descriptions of the way in which
she paddled in the Welsh brooks and of lessons in the shawl-dance
which she was taking from Shuri Lovell, the mother of her Gypsy
friend. So vividly did she describe these lessons that her pictures
haunted me. I wrote in reply to this a letter burning with my
ever-growing love, but to this I got no reply.
As the surgeon had prophesied, I made such advance that I was after a
while able to walk with tolerable ease without my crutches, by the
aid of a walking-stick; and as time went on, the tonic effect of
Margate air, aiding the remedies prescribed by the surgeon, worked
such a change in me that I was pronounced well, and the doctor said I
might return home. I returned to Raxton a cripple no longer.
I returned cured. I say. But how entangled is this web of our life!
How almost impossible is it that good should come unmixed with evil,
or evil unmixed with good! At Margate, where the bracing air did
more, I doubt not, towards my restoration to health than all the
medicines,—at Margate my brother drank in his death-poison.
During the very last days of our stay he caught scarlet fever. In a
fortnight he was dead. The shock to me was very severe. It laid my
mother prostrate for months.
I was now by the death of Frank the representative of our branch of
the family, and a little fellow of uncomfortable importance. My uncle
Aylwin of Alvanley. being childless, was certain to leave me his
large estates, for he had dropped entirely away from the Aylwins of
Rington Manor, and also from the branch of the Aylwin family
represented by my kinsman Cyril.
THE MOONLIGHT CROSS OF THE GNOSTICS
My mother had some prejudice against a public school, and I was sent
to a large and important private one at Cambridge.
And go, with Winifred on my mind, I went one damp winter's morning to
Dullingham, our nearest railway station, on my way to Cambridge.
As concerns my school-days, I feel that all that will interest the
reader is this: as I rode through mile upon mile of the flat,
wide-stretching country, I made to myself a vow in connection with
Winifred,—a vow that when I left school I would do a certain thing
in relation to her, though Fate itself should say, 'This thing shall
not be done.' I did not know then, as I know now, how weak is human
will enmeshed in that web of Circumstance that has been a-weaving
since the beginning of the world.
I left school without the slightest notion as to what my future
course in life was to be. I was to take my rich uncle's property.
That was understood now. And although my mother never talked of the
matter, I could see in the pensive gaze she bent on me an
ever-present consciousness of a future for me more golden still.
But now I formed a new intimacy, and one of a very singular kind—an
intimacy with my father, who suddenly woke up to the fact that I was
no longer a child. It occurred on my making some pertinent inquiries
about a certain Gnostic amulet representing the Gorgon's head, a
prize of which he had lately become the happy possessor. On his
telling me that the Arabic word for amulet was hamalet, and that
the word meant 'that which is suspended,' I said in a perfectly
thoughtless way that very likely one of the learned societies to
which he belonged might be able to trace some connection between
'hamalet' and the 'Hamlet' of Shakespeare. These idle and ignorant
words of mine fell, as I found, upon a mind ripe to receive them. He
looked straight before him at the bust of Shakespeare on the
bookshelves as he always looked when his rudderless imagination was
once well launched, and I heard him mutter, 'Hamlet—the Amleth of
Saxo-Grammaticus,—hamalet, "that which is suspended." The world, to
Hamlet's metaphysical mind, was "suspended" in the wide region of
Nowhere—in an infinite ocean of Nothing. Why did I not think of this
before? Strange that this child should hit upon it.' Then looking at
me as though he had just seen me for the first time in his life, he
said. 'How old are you, child?' 'Eighteen, father, I said. 'Eighteen
years?' he asked. 'Yes, father,' I said with some pique. 'Did you
suppose I meant eighteen months?' 'Only eighteen years,' he muttered,
'a mere baby, in short; and yet he has hit upon what we
Shakespearians have been boggling over for many year?—the symbolical
meaning involved in Hamlet's name. Henry, I prophesy great things for
you.'
An intimacy was cemented between us at once. One of the results of
this conversation was my father's elaborate paper, read before one of
his societies, in which he maintained that Shakespeare's Hamlet was
a metaphysical poem, the great central idea of which was involved in
the name Hamlet, Amleth, or Hamalet—the idea that the universe,
suspended in the wide region of Nowhere, lies, an amulet, upon the
breast of the Great Latona,—a paper that was the basis of his
reputation in 'the higher criticism.'
Shortly after this my father and I spent the autumn in various parts
of Switzerland. One night, when we were sitting outside the chalet in
the full light of the moon, I was the witness of a display of passion
on the part of one whom I had always considered to be a dreamy
book-worm—a passionless, eccentric mystic—that simply amazed me. A
flickering tongue from the central fires suddenly breaking up through
the soil of an English vegetable garden could hardly have been a more
unexpected phenomenon to me than what occurred on that memorable
night.
The incident I am going to relate showed me how rash it is to suppose
that you have really fathomed the personality of any human creature.
The mementos of his first wife, which accompanied him whithersoever
he went, absorbed his attention in Switzerland, and especially in the
little place where she was born, far more than they had done at home.
He was for ever peeping furtively into his escritoire to enjoy the
sight of them, and then looking over his shoulder to see if he was
being watched by my mother, though she was far away in Raxton Hall.
On the night in question he showed me the silver casket containing
certain of these mementos—mementos which I felt to be almost too
intimate to be shown even to his son.
'And now, Henry,' said he, 'I am going to show you something that no
one else has ever seen since she died—the most sacred possession I
have upon this earth.' He then opened his shirt and his vest, and
showed me lying upon his naked bosom a beautiful jewelled cross of a
considerable size. 'This,' said he, lifting it up, 'is an ancient
Gnostic amulet. It is called the "Moonlight Cross" of the Gnostics. I
gave it to her on the night of our betrothal. She was a Roman
Catholic. It is made of precious stones cut in facets, with rubies
and diamonds and beryls so cunningly set that, when the moonlight
falls on them, the cross flashes almost as brilliantly as when the
sunlight falls on them and is kindled into living fire. These
deep-coloured crimson rubies—almost as clear as diamonds—are not of
the ordinary kind. They are true "Oriental rubies," and the jewellers
would tell you that the mine which produced them has been lost during
several centuries. But look here when I lift it up; the most
wonderful feature of the jewel is the skill with which the diamonds
are cut. The only shapes generally known are what are called the
"brilliant" and the "rose," but here the facets are arranged in an
entirely different way, and evidently with the view of throwing light
into the very hearts of the rubies, and producing this peculiar
radiance.'
He lifted the amulet again (which was suspended from his neck by a
beautifully worked cord made of soft brown hair) into the rays from
the moon. The light the jewel emitted was certainly of a strange and
fascinating kind. The cross had been worn with the jewelled front
upon his bosom instead of the smooth back, and the sharp facets of
the cross had lacerated the scarred flesh underneath in a most cruel
manner. He saw me shudder and understood why.
'Oh, I like that!' he said, with an ecstatic smile. 'I like to feel
it constantly on my bosom. It cannot cut deep enough for me. This is
her hair,' he said, taking the hair-cord between his fingers and
kissing it.
'How do you manage to exist, father,' I said, 'with that heavy
sharp-edged jewel on your breast? you who cannot bear the gout with
patience?'
'Exist? I could not exist without it. The gout is pain—this is not
pain; it is joy, bliss, heaven! When I am dead it must lie for ever
on my breast as it lies now, or I shall never rest in my grave.' He
had been talking about amulets in the most quiet and matter-of-fact
way during that morning; but the I moment he produced this cross a
strange change came over his face, something like the change that
will come over a dull wood-fire when blown by the wind into a bright
light of flame.
'Ha!' he muttered to himself, as his eyes widened and sparkled with a
look of intense eagerness and his hand shook, sending the light of
the beautiful jewel all about the room, 'it is a sad pity he was not
her son. How I should have loved him then! I like him now very much;
but how I should have loved him then, for he is a brave boy. Oh, if I
had only been born brave like him!' Then, suddenly recollecting
himself, he closed his vest, and said: 'Don't tell your mother, Hal;
don't tell your mother that I have shown you this.' Then he took it
out again. 'She who is dead cherished it,' he continued, half to
himself—'she cherished it above all things. She died, boy, and I
couldn't help her. She used to wear the cross in the bosom of her
dress; and there she was in the cove kissing it when the tide swept
over her. I ought to have jumped down and died with her. You would
have done it, Hal; your eyes say so. Oh, to be an Aylwin without the
Aylwin courage!'
After a little time he said: 'This has lain on her bosom, Hal, her
bosom! It has been kissed by her, Hal, oh, a thousand thousand times!
It had her last kiss. When I took it from the cold body which had
been recovered, this cross seemed to be warm with her life and love.'
And then he wept, and his tears fell thick upon his bosom and upon
the amulet. The truth was clear enough now. The appalling death of
his first wife, his love for her, and his remorse for not having
jumped down the cliff and died with her, had affected his brain. He
was a monomaniac, and all his thoughts were in some way clustered
round the dominant one. He had studied amulets because the 'Moonlight
Cross' had been cherished by her; he came to Switzerland every year
because it was associated with her; he had joined the spiritualist
body in the mad hope that perhaps there might be something in it,
perhaps there might be a power that could call her back to earth.
Even the favourite occupation of his life, visiting cathedrals and
churches and taking rubbings from monumental brasses, had begun
after her death; it had come from the fact (as I soon learned) that
she had taken interest in monumental brasses, and had begun the
collection of rubbings.
And yet this martyr to a mighty passion bore the character of a
dreamy student; and his calm, un-furrowed face, on common occasions,
expressed nothing but a rather dull kind of content! Here was a
revelation of what, afterwards, was often revealed to me, that human
personality is the crowning wonder of this wonderful universe, and
that the forces which turn fire-mist into stars are not more
inscrutable than is human character. He lifted up his head and gazed
at me through his tears.
'Hal,' he said, 'do you know why I have shown you this? It must,
MUST be buried with me at my death; and there is no one upon whose
energy, truth, courage, and strength of will I can rely as I can upon
yours. You must give me your word, Hal, that you will see it and this
casket containing her letters buried with me.'
I hesitated to become a party to such an undertaking as this. It
savoured of superstition, I thought. Now, having at that very time
abandoned all the superstitions and all the mystical readings of the
universe which as a child I had inherited from ancestors, Romany and
English, having at that very time begun to take a delight in the
wonderful revelations of modern science, my attitude towards
superstition—towards all super-naturalism—oscillated between anger
and simple contempt.
'But,' I said, 'you surely will not have this beautiful old cross
buried?' And as I looked at it, and the light fell upon it, there
came from it strange flashes of fire, showing with what extraordinary
skill the rubies and diamonds had been adjusted so that their facets
should catch and concentrate the rays of the moon.
'Yes,' he said, taking the cross again in his hand and fondling it
passionately, 'it must never be possessed by any one after me.'
'But it might be stolen, father—stolen from your coffin.'
'That would indeed he a disaster,' he said with a shudder. Then a
look of deadly vengeance overspread his face and brought out all its
Romany characteristics as he said: 'But with it there will be buried
a curse written in Hebrew and English—a curse upon the despoiler,
which will frighten off any thief who is in his senses.'
And he showed me a large parchment scroll, folded exactly like a
title-deed, with the following curse and two verses from the 109th
Psalm written upon it in Hebrew and English. The English version
was carefully printed by himself in large letters:—
'He who shall violate this tomb.—he who shall steal this amulet,
hallowed as a love-token between me and my dead wife,—he who shall
dare to lay a sacrilegious hand upon this cross, stands cursed by
God. cursed by love, and cursed by me. Philip Aylwin, lying here.
"Let there be no man to pity him, nor to have compassion upon his
fatherless children…. Let his children be vagabonds, and beg
their bread; let them seek it also out of desolate places." Psalm
cix. So saith the Lord. Amen.'
'I have printed the English version in large letters,' he said, 'so
that any would-be despoiler must see it and read it at once by the
dimmest lantern light.'
'But, father,' I said, 'is it possible that you, an educated man,
really believe in the efficacy of a curse?'
'If the curse comes straight from the heart's core of a man, as this
curse comes from mine, Hal, how can it fail to operate by the mere
force of will? The curse of a man who loved as I love upon the wretch
who should violate a love-token so sacred as this—why, the
disembodied spirits of all who have loved and suffered would combine
to execute it!'
'Spirits!' I said. 'Really, father, in times like these to talk of
spirits!'
'Ah, Henry!' he replied, 'I was like you once. I could once be
content with Materialism—I could find it supportable once; but,
should you ever come to love as I have loved (and, for your own
happiness, child, I hope you never may), you will And that
Materialism is intolerable, is hell itself, to the heart that has
known a passion like mine. You will And that it is madness, Hal,
madness, to believe in the word "never"! you will And that you
dare not leave untried any creed, howsoever wild, that offers
the heart a ray of hope. Every object she cherished has become
spiritualised, sublimated, has become alive—alive as this amulet
is alive. See, the lights are no natural lights.' And again he held
it up.
'If on my death-bed,' he continued, 'I thought that this beloved
cross and these sacred relics would ever get into other hands—would
ever touch other flesh—than mine, I should die a maniac, Hal, and my
spirit would never be released from the chains of earth.' It was the
superstitious tone of his talk that irritated and hardened me. He saw
it, and a piteous expression overspread his features.
'Don't desert your poor father,' he said. 'What I want is the word
of an Aylwin that those beloved relics shall be buried with me. If I
had that, I should be content to live, and content to die. Oh,
Hal!'
He threw such an imploring gaze into my face as he said 'Oh, Hal!'
that, reluctant as I was to be mixed up with superstition, I promised
to execute his wishes; I promised also to keep the secret from all
the world during his life, and after his death to share it with those
two only from whom, for family reasons, it could not be kept—my
uncle Aylwin of Alvanley and my mother. He then put away the amulet,
and his face resumed the look of placid content it usually wore. He
was feeling the facets of the mysterious 'Moonlight Cross'!
The most marvellous thing is this, however: his old relations towards
me were at once resumed. He never alluded to the subject of his first
wife again, and I soon found it difficult to believe that the
conversation just recorded ever took place at all. Evidently his
monomania only rose up to a passionate expression when fanned into
sudden flame by talking about the cross. It was as though the shock
of his first wife's death had severed his consciousness and his life
in twain.
Naturally this visit to Switzerland cemented our intimacy, and it
was on our return home that he suggested my accompanying him on one
of his 'rubbing expeditions.'
'Henry,' he said, 'your mother has of late frequently discussed with
me the question of your future calling in life. She suggests a
Parliamentary career. I confess that I find questions about careers
exceedingly disturbing.'
'There is only one profession I should like, father,' I said, 'and
that is a painter's.' In fact, the passion for painting had come on
me very strongly of late. My dreams had from the first been of
wandering with Winnie in a paradise of colour, and these dreams had
of late been more frequent: the paradise of colour had been growing
richer and rarer.
He shook his head gravely and said, 'No, my dear; your mother would
never allow it.'
'Why not?' I said; 'is painting low too?'
'Cyril Aylwin is low, at least so your mother and aunt say, especially
your aunt. I have not perceived it myself, but then your mother's
perceptive faculties are extraordinary—quite extraordinary.'
'Did the lowness come from his being a painter, father?' I asked.
'Really, child, you are puzzling me. But I have observed you now for
some weeks, and I quite believe that you would make one of the best
rubbers who ever held a ball. I am going to Salisbury next week, and
you shall then make your début.'
This was in the midst of a very severe winter we had some years ago,
when all Europe was under a coating of ice.
'But, father,' I said, 'shan't we find it rather cold?'
'Well,' said my father, with a bland smile, 'I will not pretend that
Salisbury Cathedral is particularly warm in this weather, but in
winter I always rub in knee-caps and mittens. I will tell Hodder to
knit you a full set at once.'
'But, father,' I said, 'Tom Wynne tells me that rubbing is the most
painful of all occupations. He even goes so far sometimes as to say
that it was the exhaustion of rubbing for you which turned him to
drink.'
'Nothing of the kind,' said my father. 'All that Tom needed to make
him a good rubber was enthusiasm. I am strongly of opinion that
without enthusiasm rubbing is of all occupations the most irksome,
except perhaps for the quadrumana (who seem more adapted for this
exercise), the most painful for the spine, the most cramping for the
thighs, the most numbing for the fingers. It is a profession, Henry,
demanding, above every other, enthusiasm in the operator. Now Tom's
enthusiasm for rubbing as an art was from the first exceedingly
feeble.'
I was on the eve of revolting, but I remembered what there was
lacerating his poor breast, and consented. And when I heard hints of
our 'working the Welsh churches' my sudden enthusiasm for the
rubber's art astonished even my father.
'My dear,' he said to my mother at dinner one day, 'what do you
think? Henry has developed quite a sudden passion for rubbing.'
I saw an expression of perplexity and mystification overspread my
mother's sagacious face.
'And in the spring,' continued my father, 'we are going into Wales
to rub.'
'Into Wales, are you?' said my mother, in a tone of that soft voice
whose meaning I knew so well.
My thoughts were continually upon Winifred, now that I was alone in
the familiar spots. I had never seen her nor heard from her since we
parted as children. She had only known me as a cripple. What would
she think of me now? Did she ever think of me? She had not answered
my childish letter, and this had caused me much sorrow and
perplexity.
We did not go into Wales after all. But the result of this
conversation took a shape that amazed me. I was sent to stay with my
Aunt Prue in London in order that I might attend one of the Schools
of Art. Yes, my mother thought it was better for me even to run the
risk of becoming bohemianised like Cyril Aylwin, than to brood over
Winnie or the scenes that were associated with our happy childhood.
In London I was an absolute stranger. We had no town house. On the
few occasions when the family had gone to London, it was to stay in
Belgrave Square with my Aunt Prue, who was an unmarried sister of my
mother's.
'Since the death of the Prince Consort, to go no further back,' she
used to say, 'a dreadful change has come over the tone of society;
the love of bohemianism, the desire to take up any kind of people, if
they are amusing, and still more if they are rich, is levelling
everything. However, I'm nobody now; I say nothing.'
What wonder that from my very childhood my aunt took a prejudice
against me, and predicted for me a career 'as deplorable as Cyril
Aylwin's,' and sympathised with my mother in her terror of the Gypsy
strain in my father's branch of the family?
Her tastes and instincts being intensely aristocratic, she suffered a
martyrdom from her ever present consciousness of this disgrace. She
had seen very much more of what is called Society than my mother had
ever an opportunity of seeing. It was not, however, aristocracy, but
Royalty that won the true worship of her soul.
Although she was immeasurably inferior to my mother in everything,
her influence over her was great, and it was always for ill. I
believe that even my mother's prejudice against Tom Wynne was largely
owing to my aunt, who disliked my relations towards Wynne simply
because he did not represent one of the great Wynne families. But the
remarkable thing was that, although my mother thus yielded to my
aunt's influence, she in her heart despised her sister's ignorance
and her narrowness of mind. She often took a humorous pleasure in
seeing my aunt's aristocratic proclivities baffled by some vexing
contretemps or by some slight passed upon her by people of superior
rank, especially by those in the Royal circle.
There have been so many descriptions of art schools, from the famous
'Gandish's' down to the very moment at which I write, that I do not
intend to describe mine.
It would be very far from my taste to use a narrative like this, a
narrative made sacred by the spiritual love it records, as a means of
advertising efforts of such modest pretensions as mine when placed in
comparison with the work of the illustrious painters my friendship
with whom has been the great honour of my life. And if I allude here
to the fact of my being a painter, it is in order that I may not be
mistaken for another Aylwin. my cousin Percy, who in some unpublished
poems of his which I have seen has told how a sailor was turned into
a poet by love—love of Rhona Boswell. In the same way, these pages
are written to tell how I was made a painter by love of her whom I
first saw in Raxton churchyard, her who filled my being as Beatrice
filled the being of Dante when 'the spirit of life, which hath its
dwelling in the secretest chamber of the heart, began to tremble so
violently that the least pulses of his body shook therewith.'
Time went by, and I returned to Raxton. Just when I had determined
that, come what would, I would go into Wales, Wynne one day told me
that Winnie was coming to live with him at Raxton, her aunt having
lately died. 'The English lady,' said he, 'who lived with them so
long and eddicated Winifred, has gone to live at Carnarvon to get the
sea air.'
This news was at once a joy and a perplexity.
Wynne, though still the handsomest and finest man in Raxton, had sunk
much lower in intemperance of late. He now generally wound up a
conversation with me by a certain stereotyped allusion to the dryness
of the weather, which I perfectly understood to mean that he felt
thirsty, and that an offer of half-a-crown for beer would not be
unacceptable. He was a proud man in everything except in reference to
beer. But he seemed to think there was no degradation in asking for
money to get drunk with, though to have asked for it to buy bread
would, I suppose, have wounded his pride. I did not then see so
clearly as I now do the wrong of giving him those half-crowns. His
annuity he had long since sold.
Spite of all his delinquencies, however, my father liked him; so did
my uncle Aylwin of Alvanley. But my mother seemed positively to hate
him. It was the knowledge of this that caused my anxiety about
Winifred's return. I felt that complications must arise.
At this time I used to go to Dullingham every day. The clergyman
there was preparing me for college.
On the Sunday following the day when I got such momentous news from
Wynne, I was met suddenly, as my mother and I were leaving the church
after the service, by the gaze of a pair of blue eyes that arrested
my steps as by magic, and caused the church and the churchgoers to
vanish from my sight.
The picture of Winifred that had dwelt in my mind so long was that of
a beautiful child. The radiant vision of the girl before me came on
me by surprise and dazzled me. Tall and slim she was now, but the
complexion had not altered at all; the eyes seemed young and
childlike as ever.
When our eyes met she blushed, then turned pale, and took hold of the
top of a seat near which she was standing. She came along the aisle
close to us, gliding and slipping through the crowd, and passed out
of the porch. My mother had seen my agitation, and had moved on in a
state of haughty indignation. I had no room, however, at that moment
for considerations of any person but one. I hurried out of the
church, and, following Winifred, grasped her gloved hand.
'Winifred, you are come,' I said; 'I have been longing to see you.'
She again turned pale and then blushed scarlet. Next she looked down
me as if she had expected to see something which she did not see, and
when her eyes were upraised again something in them gave me a strange
fancy that she was disappointed to miss my crutches.
'Why didn't you write to me from Wales, Winifred? Why didn't you
answer my letter years ago?'
She hesitated, then said,
'My aunt wouldn't let me, sir.'
'Wouldn't let you answer it! and why?'
Again she hesitated—
'I—I don't know, sir.'
'You do know, Winifred. I see that you know, and you shall tell me.
Why didn't your aunt let you answer my letter?'
Winifred's eyes looked into mine beseechingly. Then that light of
playful humour, which I remembered so well, shot like a sunbeam
across and through them as she replied—
'My aunt said we must both forget our pretty dream.'
Almost before the words were out, however, the sunbeam fled from her
eyes and was replaced by a look of terror. I now perceived that my
mother, in passing to the carriage, had lingered on the gravel-path
close to us, and had, of course, overheard the dialogue. She passed
on with a look of hate. I thought it wise to bid Winifred good-bye
and join my mother.
As I stepped into the carriage I turned round and saw that Winifred
was again looking wistfully at some particular part of me—looking
with exactly that simple, frank, 'objective' expression with which I
was familiar.
'I knew it was the crutches she missed,' I said to myself as I sat
down by my mother's side; 'she'll have to love me now because I am
not lame.'
I also knew something else: I must prepare for a conflict with my
mother. My father, at this time in Switzerland, had written to say
that he had been suffering acutely from an attack of what he called
'spasms.' He had 'been much subject to them of late, but no one
considered them to be really dangerous.'
During luncheon I felt that my mother's eyes were on me. After it was
over she went to her room to write in answer to my father's letter,
and then later on she returned to me.
'Henry,' she said, 'my overhearing the dialogue in the churchyard
between you and Wynne's daughter was, I need not pay, quite
accidental, but it is perhaps fortunate that I did overhear it.'
'Why fortunate, mother? You simply heard her say that her aunt in
Wales had forbidden her to answer a childish letter of mine written
years ago.'
'In telling you which, the girl, I must say, proclaimed her aunt to
be an exceedingly sensible and well-conducted woman,' said my mother.
'On that point, mother,' I said, 'you must allow me to hold a
different opinion. I, for my part, should have said that Winifred's
story proclaimed her aunt to be a worthy member of a flunkey society
like this of ours—a society whose structure, political and moral and
religious, is based on an adamantine rock of paltry snobbery.'
It was impossible to restrain my indignation.
'I am aware, Henry,' replied my mother calmly, 'that it is one of the
fashions of the hour for young men of family to adopt the language of
Radical newspapers. In a country like this the affectation does no
great harm, I grant, and my only serious objection to it is that it
implies in young men of one's own class a lack of originality which
is a little humiliating. I am aware that your cousin, Percy Aylwin,
of Rington Manor, used to talk in the same strain as this, and ended
by joining the Gypsies. But I came to warn you, Henry, I came to urge
you not to injure this poor girl's reputation by such scenes as that
I witnessed this morning.'
I remained silent. The method of my mother's attack had taken me by
surprise. Her sagacity was so much greater than mine, her power of
fence was so much greater, her stroke was so much deadlier, that in
all our encounters I had been conquered.
'It is for the girl's own sake that I speak to you,' continued my
mother. 'She was deeply embarrassed at your method of address, and
well she might be, seeing that it will be, for a long time to come,
the subject of discussion in all the beer-houses which her father
frequents.'
'You speak as though she were answerable for her father's faults,' I
said, with heat.
'No,' said my mother; 'but your father is the owner of Raxton Hall,
which to her and her class is a kind of Palace of the Cæsars. You
belong to a family famous all along the coast; you are well known to
be the probable heir of one of the largest landowners in England; you
may be something more important still; while she, poor girl, what is
she that you should rush up to her before all the churchgoers of the
parish and address her as Winifred? The daughter of a penniless,
drunken reprobate. Every attention you pay her is but a slur upon her
good name.'
'There is not a lady in the county worthy to unlace her shoes,' I
cried, unguardedly. Then I could have bitten off my tongue for saying
so.
'That may be,' said my mother, with the quiet irony peculiar to her;
'but so monstrous are the customs of England, Henry, so barbaric is
this society you despise, that she, whose shoes no lady in the county
is worthy to unlace, is in an anomalous position. Should she once
again be seen talking familiarly with you, her character will have
fled, and fled for ever. It is for you to choose whether you are set
upon ruining her reputation.'
I felt that what she said was true. I felt also that Winifred herself
had recognised the net of conventions that kept us apart in spite of
that close and tender intimacy which had been the one great fact of
our lives. In a certain sense I was far more of a child of Nature
than Winifred herself, inasmuch as, owing to my remarkable childish
experience of isolation, I had imbibed a scepticism about the
sanctity of conventions such as is foreign to the nature of woman, be
she ever so unsophisticated, as Winifred's shyness towards me had
testified.
As a child I had been neglected for the firstborn, I had enjoyed
through this neglect an absolute freedom with regard to associating
with fisher-boys and all the shoeless, hatless 'sea-pups' of the
sands, and now, when the time had come to civilise me, my mother had
found that it was too late. I was bohemian to the core. My childish
intercourse with Winifred had been one of absolute equality, and I
could not now divest myself of this relation. These were my thoughts
as I listened to my mother's words.
My great fear now, however, was lest I should say something to
compromise myself, and so make matter worse. Before another word upon
the subject should pass between my mother and me I must see
Winifred—and then I had something to say to her which no power on
earth should prevent me from saying. So I merely told my mother that
there was much truth in what she had said, and proceeded to ask
particulars about my father's recent illness. After giving me these
particulars she left the room, perplexed, I thought, as to what had
been the result of her mission.
I remained alone for some time. Then I told the servants that I was
going to walk along the cliffs to Dullingham Church, where there was
an evening service, and left the house. I hastened towards the
cliffs, and descended to the sands, in the hope that Winifred might
be roaming about there, but I walked all the way to Dullingham
without getting a glimpse of her. The church service did not interest
me that evening. I heard nothing and saw nothing. When the service
was over I returned along the sands, sauntering and lingering in the
hope that, late as it was now growing, the balmy evening might have
enticed her out.
The evening grew to night, and still I lingered. The moon was nearly
at the full, and exceedingly bright. The tide was down. The scene was
magical; I could not leave it. I said to myself, 'I will go and stand
on the very spot where Winifred stood when she lisped "certumly" to
the proposal of her little lover.'
It was not, after all, till this evening that I really knew how
entirely she was a portion of my life.
I went and stood by the black boulder where I had received the little
child's prompt reply. There was not a grain left, I knew, of that
same sand which had been hallowed by the little feet of Winifred, but
it served my mood just as well as though every grain had felt the
beloved pressure. For that the very sands had loved the child, I half
believed.
I said to myself, as I sat down upon the boulder, 'At this very
moment she is here, she is in Raxton. In a certain little cottage
there is a certain little room.' And then I longed to leave the
sands, to go and stand in front of Wynne's cottage and dream there.
But that would be too foolish. 'I must get home,' I thought. 'The
night will pass somehow, and in the morning I shall, as sure as fate,
see her flitting about the sands she loves, and then what I have
sworn to say to her I will say, and what I have sworn to do I will
do, come what will.'
Then came the puzzling question, how was I to greet her when we met?
Was I to run up and kiss her, and hear her say, 'Oh, I'm so pleased!'
as she would sometimes say when I kissed her of yore? No: her
deportment in the morning forbade that. Or was I to raise my hat
and walk up to her saying, 'How do you do, Miss Wynne? I'm glad to
see you back, Miss Wynne,' for she was now neither child nor young
woman, she was a 'girl.' Perhaps I had better rush up to her in a
bluff, hearty way, and say: 'How do you do, Miss Winifred? Delighted
to see you back to Raxton.' Finally, I decided that circumstance must
guide me entirely, and I sat upon the boulder meditating.
After a while I saw, or thought I saw, in the far distance, close to
the waves, a moving figure among the patches of rocks and stones
(some black and some white) that break the continuity of the sand on
that shore at low water.
When the figure got nearer I perceived it to be a woman, a girl, who,
every now and then, was stooping as if to pick up something from the
pools of water left by the ebbing tide imprisoned amid the encircling
rocks. At first I watched the figure, wondering in a lazy and dreamy
way what girl could be out there so late.
But all at once I began to catch my breath and gasp The sea-smells
had become laden with a kind of paradisal perfume, ineffably sweet,
but difficult to breathe all of a sudden. My heart too—what was
amiss with that? And why did the muscles of my body seem to melt like
wax?' The lonely wanderer by the sea could be none other than
Winifred.
'It is she!' I said. 'There is no beach-woman or shore-prowling girl
who, without raising an arm to balance her body, without a totter or
a slip, could step in that way upon stones some of which are as
slippery as ice with gelatinous weed and slime, while others are as
sharp as razors. To walk like that the eye must be my darling's, that
is to say, an eye as sure as a bird's the ball of the foot must be
the ball of a certain little foot I have often had in my hand wet
with sea-water and gritty with sand. For such work a mountaineer or a
cragsman, or Winifred, is needed.' Then I recalled her love of marine
creatures, her delight in seaweed, of which she would weave the most
astonishing chaplets and necklaces coloured like the rainbow.
'seawood boas' and seaweed turbans, calling herself the princess of
the sea (as indeed she was), and calling me her prince. 'Yes,' said
I, 'it is certainly she'; and when at last I espied a little dog by
her side, Tom Wynne's little dog Snap (a descendant of the original
Snap of our never-to-be-forgotten seaside adventures)—when I espied
all these things I said, 'Then the hour is come.'
By this time my heart had settled down to a calmer throb, the
paradisal scent had become more supportable, and I grew master of
myself again. I was going towards her, when I stayed my steps, for
she was already making her way, entirely unconscious of my presence,
towards the boulder where I sat.
'I know what I will do.' I said; 'I will fling myself flat on the
sands behind the boulder and watch her. I will observe her without
being myself observed.'
I was in the mood when one tries sportfully to deceive one's self as
to the depth and intensity of the emotion within. Perhaps I would and
perhaps I would not speak to her at all that night; but if I did
speak, I would say and do what (on that day when I set out for
school) I had sworn to say and do.
So there I lay hidden by the boulder and watched her. She made the
circuit of each pool that lay across her path towards the
cliffs,—made it apparently for the childish enjoyment of balancing
herself on the stones and snapping her fingers at the dog, who looked
on with philosophic indifference at such a frivolous waste of force.
Yes, though a tall girl of seventeen, she was the same incomparable
child who had coloured my life and stirred the entire air of my
imagination with the breezes of a new heaven. The voice of the
tumbling sea in the distance, the caresses of the tender breeze, the
wistful gaze of the great moon overhead, were companionship enough
for her—for her whose loveliness would have enchanted a world. She
had no idea that there was at this moment stepping round those black
stones the loveliest woman then upon the earth. If she had had that
idea she would still have been the star of all womanhood, but she
would not have been Winifred. A charm superior to all other women's
charm she still would have had; but she would not have been Winifred.
When she left the rocks and came upon the clear sand, she stopped
and looked at her sweet shadow in the moonlight. Then, with the
self-pleasing playfulness of a kitten, she stood and put herself
into all kinds of postures to see what varying silhouettes they would
make on the hard and polished sand (that shone with a soft lustre
like satin); now throwing up one arm, now another, and at last making
a pirouette, twirling her shawl round, trying to keep it in a
horizontal position by the rapidity of her movements.
The interest of the philosophic Snap was aroused at last. He began
wheeling and barking round her, tearing up the sand as he went like a
little whirlwind. This induced Winifred to redouble her gymnastic
exertions. She twirled round with the velocity of an engine wheel. At
last, finding the enjoyment it gave to Snap, she changed the
performance by taking off her hat, flinging it high in the air,
catching it, flinging it up again and again, while the moving shadow
it made was hunted along the sand by Snap with a volley of deafening
barks. By this time she had got close to me, but she was too busy to
see me. Then she began to dance—the very same dance with which she
used to entertain me in those happy days. I advanced from my stone,
dodging and slipping behind her, unobserved even by Snap, so intent
were these two friends upon this entertainment, got up, one would
think, for whatsoever sylphs or gnomes or water sprites might be
looking on.
How could I address in the language of passion which alone would have
expressed my true feelings, a dancing fairy such as this?
'Bravo!' I said, as she stopped, panting and breathless. 'Why,
Winifred, you dance better than ever!'
She leaped away in alarm and confusion; while Snap, on the contrary,
welcomed me with much joy.
'Oh, I beg your pardon, sir,' she said, not looking at me with the
blunt frankness of childhood, as the little woman of the old days
used to do, but drooping her eyes. 'I didn't see you.'
'But I saw you, Winifred; I have been watching you for the last
quarter of an hour.'
'Oh, you never have!' said she, in distress; 'what could you have
thought? I was only trying to cheer up poor Snap, who is out of
sorts. What a mad romp you must have thought me, sir!'
'Why, what's the matter with Snap?'
'I don't know. Poor Snap' (stooping down to fondle him, and at the
same time to hide her face from me, for she was talking against time
to conceal her great confusion and agitation at seeing me. That was
perceptible enough.)
Then she remembered she was hatless.
'Oh dear, where's my hat?' said she, looking round. I had picked up
the hat before accosting her, and it was now dangling behind me. I,
too, began talking against time, for the beating of my heart began
again at the thought of what I was going to say and do. 'Hat!' I
said; 'do you wear hats, Winifred? I should as soon have thought of
hearing the Queen of the Tylwyth Teg ask for her hat as you, after
such goings-on as those I have just been witnessing. You see I have
not forgotten the Welsh you taught me.'
'Oh, but my hat—where is it?' cried she, vexed and sorely ashamed.
So different from the unblenching child who loved to stand hatless
and feel the rain-drops on her bare head!
'Well, Winifred, I've found a hat on the sand,' I said; 'here it is.'
'Thank you, sir,' said she, and stretched out her hand for it.
'No,' said I, 'I don't for one moment believe in its belonging to
you, any more than it belongs to the Queen of the "Fair People." But
if you'll let me put it on your head I'll give you the hat I've
found,' and with a rapid movement I advanced and put it on her head.
I had meant to seize that moment for saying what I had to say, but
was obliged to wait.
An expression of such genuine distress overspread her face, that I
regretted having taken the liberty with her. Her bearing altogether
was puzzling me. She seemed instinctively to feel as I felt, that
raillery was the only possible attitude to take up in a situation so
extremely romantic—a meeting on the sands at night between me and
her who was neither child nor woman—and yet she seemed distressed at
the raillery.
Embarrassment was rapidly coming between us.
There was a brief silence, during which Winifred seemed trying to
move away from me.
'Did you—did you see me from the cliffs, sir, am; come down?' said
Winifred.
'Winifred,' said I, 'the polite thing to say would be "Yes"; but you
know "Fighting Hal" never was remarkable for politeness, so I will
say frankly that did not come down from the cliff's on seeing you.
But when I did see you, I wasn't very likely to return without
speaking to you.'
'I am locked out,' said Winifred, in explanation of her moonlight
ramble. 'My father went off to Dullingham with the key in his pocket
while I and Snap were in the garden, so we have to wait till his
return. Good-night, sir,' and she gave me her hand. I seemed to feel
the fingers around my heart, and knew that I was turning very pale.
'The same little sunburnt fingers.' I said, as I retained them in
mine 'just the same, Winifred! But it's not "good-night" yet. No, no,
it's not good-night yet; and, Winifred if you dare to call me "sir"
again, I declare I'll kiss you where you stand. I will, Winifred.
I'll put my arms right round that slender waist and kiss you under
that moon, as sure as you stand on these sands.'
'Then I will not call you "sir."' said Winifred laughingly.
'Certainly I will not call you "sir," if that is to be the penalty.'
'Winifred,' said I, 'the last time that I remember to have heard you
say "certainly" was on this very spot. You then pronounced it
"certumly," and that was when I asked you if I might be your lover.
You said "certumly" on that occasion without the least hesitation.'
Winifred, as I could see, even by the moonlight, was blushing. 'Ah,
those childish days!' she said. 'How delightful they were, sir!'
'"Sir" again!' said I. 'Now, Winifred, I am going to execute my
threat—I am indeed.'
She put up her hands before her face and said,
'Oh, don't! please don't.'
The action no doubt might seem coquettish, but the tone of her voice
was so genuine, so serious—so agitated even—that I paused:—I
paused in bewilderment and perplexity concerning us both. I observed
that her fingers shook as she held them before her face. That she
should be agitated at seeing me after so long a separation did not
surprise me, I being deeply agitated myself. It was the nature of
her emotion that puzzled me, until suddenly I remembered my mother's
words.
I perceived then that, child of Nature as she still was, some one had
given her a careful training which had transfigured my little Welsh
rustic into a lady. She had not failed to apprehend the anomaly of
her present position—on the moonlit sands with me. Though could not
break free from the old equal relations between us. Winifred had been
able to do so.
'To her,' I thought with shame, 'my offering to kiss her at such a
place and time must have seemed an insult. The very fact of my
attempting to do so must have seemed to indicate an offensive
consciousness of the difference of our social positions. It must
have, seemed to show that I recognised a distinction between the
drunken organist's daughter and a lady.'
I saw now, indeed, that she felt this keenly; and I knew that it was
nothing but the sweetness of her nature, coupled with the fond
recollection of the old happy days, that restrained that high spirit
of hers, and prevented her from giving expression to her indignation
and disgust.
All this was shown by the appealing look on her sweet, fond face, and
I was touched to the heart.
'Winifred—Miss Wynne,' I said, 'I beg your pardon most sincerely.
The shadow-dance has been mainly answerable for my folly. You did
look so exactly the little Winifred, my heart's sister, that I felt
it impossible to treat you otherwise than as that dear child-friend
of years ago.'
A look of delight broke over her face.
'I felt sure it was so,' she said. 'But it is a relief that you have
said it.' And the tears came to her eyes.
'Thank you, Winifred, for having pardoned me. I feel that you would
have forgiven no one else as you have forgiven me. I feel that you
would not have forgiven any one else than your old child-companion,
whom on a memorable occasion you threatened to hit, and then had not
the heart to do so.'
'I don't think I could hit you,' said she, in a meditative tone
of perfect unconsciousness as to the bewitching import of her speech.
'Don't you think you could?' I said, drawing nearer, but governing my
passion.
'No,' said she, looking now for the first time with those wide-open
confiding eyes which, as a child, were the chief characteristic of
her face. 'I don't think I could hit you, whatever you did.'
'Couldn't you, Winifred?' I said, coming still nearer, in order to
drink to the full the wonder of her beauty, the thrill at my heart
bringing, as I felt, a pallor to my cheek. 'Don't you think you could
hit your old playfellow, Winifred?'
'No,' she said, still gazing in the same dreamy, reminiscent way
straight into my eyes as of yore. 'As a child you were so delightful.
And then you were so kind to me!'
At that word 'kind' from her to me I could restrain myself no
longer; I shouted with a wild laughter of uncontrollable passion as I
gazed at her through tears of love and admiration and deep
gratitude—gazed till I was blind. My throat throbbed till it ached:
I Could get out no more words; I could only gaze. At my shout
Winifred stood bewildered and confused. She did not understand a mood
like that. Having got myself under control, I said,
'Winifred, it is not my doing; it is Fate's doing that we meet here
on this night, and that I am driven to say here what I had as a
schoolboy sworn should be said whenever we should meet again.'
'I think,' said Winifred, pulling herself up with the dignity of a
queen, 'that if you have anything important to say to me it had
better be at a more seasonable time than at this hour of night, and
at a more seasonable place than on these sands.'
'No, Winifred,' said I, 'the time is now, and the place is
here—here on this very spot where, once on a time, you said
"certumly" when a little lover asked your hand. It is now and here,
Winifred, that I will say what I have to say.'
'And what is that, sir?' said Winifred, much perplexed and disturbed.
'I have to say, Winifred, that the man does not live and never has
lived,' said I, with suppressed vehemence, who loved a woman as I
love you.'
Oh, sir! oh, Henry!' returned Winifred, trembling, then standing
still and whiter than the moon. 'And the reason why no man has ever
loved a woman as I love you, Winifred, is because your match, or
anything like your match, has never trod the earth before.'
'Oh, Henry, my dear Henry! you must not say such things to me, your
poor Winifred.'
'But that isn't all that I swore I'd say to you, Winifred.'
'Don't say any more—not to-night, not to-night.'
'What I swore I would ask you, Winifred, is this: Will you be Henry's
wife?'
She gave one hysterical sob, and swayed till she nearly fell on the
sand, and said, while her face shone like a pearl,
'Henry's wife!'
She recovered herself and stood and looked at me; her lips moved, but
I waited in vain—waited in a fever of expectation—for her answer.
None came. I gazed into her eyes, but they now seemed rilled with
visions—visions of the great race to which she belonged—visions in
which her English lover had no place. Suddenly, and for the first
time, I felt that she who had inspired within me this all-conquering
passion, though the penniless child of a drunken organist, was a
daughter of Snowdon—a representative of the Cymric race that was
once so mighty, and is still more romantic in its associations than
all others. Already in the little talk I had had with her I began to
guess what I realised before the evening was over, that owing to the
influence of the English lady, Miss Dalrymple, who had lodged at the
cottage with her, she was more than my own equal in culture, and
could have held her own with almost any girl of her own age in
England. It was only in her subjection to Cymric superstitions that
she was benighted.
'Winnie,' I murmured, 'what have you to say?'
After a while her eyes seemed to clear of the visions, and she said,
'What changes have come upon us both, Henry. since that childish
betrothal on the sands!'
'Happy changes for one of the child-lovers,' I said—'happy changes
for the one who was then a lonely cripple shut out from all sympathy
save that which the other child-lover could give.'
'And yet you then seemed happy, Henry—happy with Winnie to help you
up the gangways. And how happy Winnie was! But now the child-lover is
a cripple no longer: he is very, very strong—he is so strong that he
could carry Winnie up the gangways in his arms, I think.'
The thrill of natural pride which such recognition of my physical
powers would otherwise have given me was quelled by a something in
the tone in which she spoke.
'And he is powerful in every way,' she went on, as if talking to
herself. 'He is a great rich Englishman to whom (as auntie was never
tired of saying) that childish betrothal must needs seem a dream—a
quaint and pretty dream.'
'And so your aunt said that, Winnie. How far from the truth she was
you see to-night.'
'Yes, she thought you would forget all about me; and yet she could
not have felt quite confident about it, for she made me promise that
if you should not forget me—if you should ever ask me what you have
just asked—she made me promise—'
'What, Winnie? what? She did not make promise that you would refuse
me?'
'That is what she asked me to promise.'
'But you did not.'
'I did not.'
'No, no! you did not, Winnie. My darling refused to make any such
cruel, monstrous promise as that.'
'But I promised her that I would in such an event wait a year—at
least a year—before betrothing myself to you.'
'Shame! shame! What made her do this cruel thing? A year! wait for a
year!'
'She brought forward many reasons, Henry, but upon two of them she
was constantly dwelling.'
'And what were these?'
'Well, the news of the death of your brother Frank of course reached
us in Shire-Carnarvon, and how well I remember hearing my aunt say,
"Henry Aylwin will be one of the wealthiest landowners in England."
And I remember how my heart sank at her words, for I was always
thinking of the dear little lame boy with the language of suffering
in his eyes and the deep music of sorrow in his voice.'
'Your heart sank, Winnie, and why?'
'I felt as if a breath of icy air had blown between us, dividing us
for ever. And then my aunt began to talk about you and your future.'
After some trouble I persuaded Winnie to tell me what was the homily
that this aunt of hers preached à propos of Frank's death. And as
she talked I could not help observing what, as a child, I had only
observed in a dim, semi-conscious way—a strange kind of double
personality in Winnie. At one moment she seemed to me nothing but the
dancing fairy of the sands, objective and unconscious as a young
animal playing to itself, at another she seemed the mouthpiece of the
narrow world-wisdom of this Welsh aunt. No sooner had she spoken of
herself as a friendless, homeless girl, than her brow began to shine
with the pride of the Cymry.
'My aunt,' said she, 'used to tell me that until disaster came upon
my uncle, and they were reduced to living upon a very narrow income,
he and she never really knew what love was—they never really knew
how rich their hearts were in the capacity of loving.'
'Ah, I thought so,' I said bitterly. 'I thought the text was,
Love in a hut, with water and a crust.'
'No,' said Winifred firmly, 'that was not the text. She believed that
the wolf must not be very close to the door behind which love is
nestling.'
'Then what did she believe? In the name of common-sense, Winnie, what
did she believe?'
'She believed,' said Winnie, her cheek flushing and her eyes
brightening as she went on, 'that of all the schemes devised by man's
evil genius to spoil his nature, to make him self-indulgent, and
luxurious, and tyrannical, and incapable of understanding what the
word "love" means, the scheme of showering great wealth upon him is
the most perfect.'
'Ah, yes, yes; the old nonsense. Easier for a camel to pass through
the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of love.
And in what way did she enlarge upon this most charitable theme?'
'She told me dreadful things about the demoralising power of riches
in our time.'
'Dreadful things! What were they, Winnie?'
'She told me how insatiable is the greed for pleasure at this time.
She told me that the passion of vanity—"the greatest of all the
human passions," as she used to say—has taken the form of
money-worship in our time, sapping all the noblest instincts of men
and women, and in rich people poisoning even parental affection,
making the mother thirst for the pleasures which in old days she
would only have tried to win for her child. She told me
stories—dreadful stories—about children with expectations of great
wealth who watched the poor grey hairs of those who gave them birth,
and counted the years and months and days that kept them from the
gold which modern society finds to be more precious than honour,
family, heroism, genius, and all that was held precious in less
materialised times. She told me a thousand other things of this kind,
and when I grew older she put into my hand what has been written on
the subject.'
'Good God! Has the narrow-minded tomfoolery got a literature?'
Winnie went on with her eloquent account of her aunt's doctrines, and
to my surprise I found that there actually was a literature of the
subject.
Winnie's bright eyes had actually pored over old and long Chartist
tracts translated into Welsh, and books on the Christian Socialism of
Charles Kingsley, and pamphlets on more' recent kinds of Socialism.
As she went on I could not help murmuring now and then, 'What
surroundings for my Winnie!'
'And the result of all this was, Winnie, that your aunt asked you to
promise not to marry a man demoralised by privileges and made
contemptible by wealth.'
'That is what she wanted me to promise; but as I have said, I did
not. But I did promise to wait for a year and see what effect wealth
would have upon you.'
'Did your aunt not tell you also that the man who marries you can
never be unmanned by wealth, because he will know that everything he
can give is as dross when set against Winnie's love and Winnie's
beauty: Did she not also tell you that?'
'Love and beauty!' said Winnie. 'Even if a woman's beauty did not
depend for its existence upon the eyes that look upon it, I should
want to give more to my hero than love and beauty. I should want to
give him help in the battle of life, Henry. I should want to buckle
on his armour, and sharpen the point of his lance, and whet the edge
of his sword; a rich man's armour is bank-notes, and Winnie knows
nothing of such paper. His spear, I am told, is a bullion bar, and
Winnie's fingers scarcely know the touch of gold.'
'Then you agree, Winnie, with these strange views of your aunt?'
'I do partly agree with them now. Ever since I saw you to-day in the
churchyard I have partly agreed with them.'
'And why?'
'Because already prosperity or bodily vigour or something has changed
your eyes and changed the tone of your voice.'
'You mean that my eyes are no longer so full of trouble; and as to my
voice—how should my voice not change, seeing that it was the voice
of a child when you last listened to it?'
'It is impossible for me even now, after I have thought about it so
much, to put into words that expression in your eyes which won me as
a child. All I knew at the time was that it fascinated me. And as I
now recall it, all I know is that your gaze then seemed full of
something which I can give a name to now, though I did not understand
it then—the pathos and tenderness and yearning, which come, as I
have been told, from suffering, and that your voice seemed to have
the same message. That expression and that tone are gone—they will,
of course, never return to you now. Your life is, and will be, too
prosperous for that. But still I hope and believe that in a year's
time prosperity will not have worked in you any of the mischief that
my aunt feared. For you have a noble nature, Henry, and to spoil you
will not be easy. You will never be the dear little Henry I loved,
but you will still be nobler and greater than other men, I think.'
'Do you really mean that my lameness was a positive attraction to
you? Do you really mean that the very change in me which I thought
would strengthen the bond between us—my restoration to
health—weakens it? That is impossible, Winnie.'
She remained silent for a time, as though lost in thought, and then
said, 'I do not believe that any woman can understand the movements
of her own heart where love is concerned. My aunt used to say I was a
strange girl, and I am afraid I am strange and perverse. She used to
say that in my affections I was like no other creature in the world.'
'How should Winifred be like any other creature in the world?' I
said. 'She would not be Winifred if she were. But what did your aunt
mean?'
'When I was quite a little child she noticed that I was neglecting a
favourite mavis which I used to delight to listen to as he warbled
from his wicker cage. She watched me, and found that my attention was
all given to a wounded bird that I had picked up on the Capel Curig
road. "Winnie," she said, "nothing can ever win your love until it
has first won your pity. A bird with a broken wing would be always
more to you than a sound one!"'
'Your aunt was right,' I said, 'as no one should know better than I.
For was it not the new kind of pity shining in those eyes of yours
that revealed to me a new heaven in my loneliness? And when my
brother Frank on that day in the wood stood over us in all the pride
of his boyish strength, do I not remember the words you spoke?'
'What were they? I have quite forgotten them.'
'You said, "I don't think I could love any one very much who was not
lame."'
I wonder what words could render that love-dream on the dear silvered
sands, with the moon overhead, the dark shadowy cliffs and the old
church on one side, and the North Sea murmuring a love-chime on the
other!
Suffice it to record that Winifred, with a throb in her throat (a
throb that prevented her from pronouncing her n's with the clarity
that some might have desired), said 'certumly' again to Henry's
suit,—'Certumly, if in a year's time you seek me out in the
mountains, and your eyes and voice show that prosperity has not
spoiled you, but that you are indeed my Henry.' And this being
settled in strict accordance with her aunt's injunctions, she never
tried to disguise how happy she was, but told Henry again and again
in answer to his importunate questions—told him with her frank
courage how she had loved him from the first in the old churchyard as
a child—loved him for what she called his love-eyes; told him—ah!
what did she not tell him? I must not go on. These things should not
be written about at all but for the demands of my story.
And how soon she forgot that the betrothal was all on one side! I
could write out every word of that talk. I remember every accent of
her voice, every variation of light that came and went in her eyes,
every ripple of love-laughter, every movement of her body, lissome as
a greyhound's, graceful as a bird's. For fully an hour it lasted. And
remember, reader, that it was on the silvered sands, every inch of
which was associated with some reminiscence of childhood; it was
beneath a moon smiling as fondly and brightly as she ever smiled on
the domes of Venice or between the trees of Fiesole; it was by the
margin of waves whose murmurs were soft and perfumed as Winifred's
own breathing's when she slept; and remember that the girl was
Winifred herself, and that the boy—the happy boy—had Winifred's
love. Ah! but that last element of that hour's bliss is just what
the reader cannot realise, because he can only know Winifred through
these poor words. That is the distressing side of a task like mine.
The beloved woman here called Winifred (no phantom of an idle
imagination, but more real to me and dear to me than this soul and
body I call my own)—this Winifred can only live for you, reader,
through my feeble, faltering words; and yet I ask you to listen to
the story of such a love as mine.
'Winnie,' I said, 'you have often as a child sung songs of Snowdon to
me and told me of others you used to sing. I should love to hear one
of these now, with the chime of the North Sea for an accompaniment
instead of the instrument you tell me your Gypsy friend used to play.
Before we go up the gangway, do sing me a verse of one of those
songs.'
After some little persuasion she yielded and sang in a soft undertone
the following verse:—
'I met in a glade a lone little maid,
At the foot of y Wyddfa the white;
Oh, lissom her feet as the mountain hind,
And darker her hair than the night;
Her cheek was like the mountain rose,
But fairer far to see,
As driving along her sheep with a song,
Down from the hills came she.'
[Welsh translation]
'Mi gwrddais gynt a morwynig,
Wrth odreu y Wyddfa wen,
Un ysgafn ei throed fel yr ewig
A gwallt fel y nos ar ei phen;
Ei grudd oedd fel y rhosyn,
Un hardd a gwen ei gwawr;
Yn canu cân, a'i defaid mân,
O'r Wyddfa'n d'od i lawr.'
'What a beautiful world it is!' said she, in a half-whisper, as we
were about to part at the cottage door, for I had refused to leave
her on the sands or even at the garden-gate. 'I should like to live
for ever,' she whispered; 'shouldn't you, Henry?'
'Well, that all depends upon the person I lived with. For instance, I
shouldn't care to live for ever with Widow Shales, the pale-faced
tailoress, nor yet with her humpbacked son, whose hump was such a
constant source of wistful wonder and solicitude to you as a child.'
She gave a merry little laugh of reminiscence. Then she said, 'But you
could live with me for ever, couldn't you, Henry?' plucking a leaf
from the grape-vine on the wall and putting it between her teeth.
'For ever and ever, Winifred.'
'It fills me with wonder,' said she, after a while, 'the thought of
being Henry's wife. It is so delightful and yet so fearful.'
By this I knew she had not forgotten that look of hate on my mother's
face.
She put her hand on the latch and found that the door was now
unlocked.
'But where is the fearful part of it, Winifred?' I said. 'I am not a
cannibal.'
'You ought to marry a great English lady, dear, and I'm only a poor
girl; you seem to forget all about that, you silly fond boy. You
forget I'm only a poor girl—just Winifred,' she continued.
'Just Winifred,' I said, taking her hand and preventing her from
lifting the latch.
'I've lived,' said she, 'in a little cottage like this with my aunt
and Miss Dalrymple and done everything.'
'Everything's a big word, Winifred. What may everything include in
your case?'
'Include!' said Winifred; 'oh, everything, housekeeping and—'
'Housekeeping!' said I. 'Racing the winds with Rhona Boswell and
other Gypsy children up and down Snowdon—that's been your
housekeeping.'
'Cooking,' said Winifred, maintaining her point.
'Oh, what a fib, Winifred! These sunburnt fingers may have picked
wild fruits, but they never made a pie in their lives.'
'Never made a pie! I make beautiful pies and things; and when we're
married I'll make your pies—may I, instead of a conceited man-cook?'
'No, Winifred. Never make a pie or do a bit of cooking in my house,
I charge you.'
'Oh, why not?' said Winifred, a shade of disappointment overspreading
her face. 'I suppose it's unladylike to cook.'
'Because,' said I,'once let me taste something made by these tanned
fingers, and how could I ever afterwards eat anything made by a
man-cook, conceited or modest? I should say to that poor cook, "Where
is the Winifred flavour, cook? I don't taste those tanned fingers
here." And then, suppose you were to die first, Winifred, why I
should have to starve, just for want of a little Winifred flavour in
the pie-crust. Now I don't want to starve, and you sha'n't cook.'
'Oh, Hal, you dear, dear fellow!' shrieked Winifred, in an ecstasy of
delight at this nonsense. Then her deep love overpowered her quite,
and she said, her eyes suffused with tears, 'Henry, you can't think
how I love you. I'm sure I couldn't live even in heaven without you.'
Then came the shadow of a lich-owl, as it whisked past us towards the
apple-trees.
'Why, you'd be obliged to live without me, Winifred, if I were still
at Raxton.'
'No,' said she, 'I'm quite sure I couldn't. I should have to come in
the winds and play round you on the sands. I should have to peep over
the clouds and watch you. I should have to follow you about wherever
you went. I should have to beset you till you said, "Bother Winnie! I
wish she'd keep in heaven."'
I saw, however, that the owl's shadow had disturbed her, and I lifted
the latch of the cottage door for her. We were met by a noise so loud
that it might have come from a trombone.
'Why, what on earth is that?' I said. I could see the look of shame
break over Winifred's features as she said, 'Father.' Yes, it was the
snoring of Wynne in a drunken sleep: it filled the entire cottage.
The poor girl seemed to feel that that brutal noise had, somehow,
coarsened her, and she actually half shrank from me as I gave her
a kiss and left her.
Wondering how I should at such an hour get into the house without
disturbing my mother and the servants, I passed along that same road
where, as a crippled child, I had hobbled on that, bright afternoon
when love was first revealed to me. Ah, what a different love was
this which was firing my blood, and making dizzy my brain! That
child-love had softened my heart in its deep distress, and widened
my soul. This new and mighty passion in whose grasp I was, this
irresistible power that had seized and possessed my entire being,
wrought my soul in quite a different sort, concentrating and
narrowing my horizon till the human life outside the circle of our
love seemed far, far away, as though I were gazing through the wrong
end of a telescope. I had learned that he who truly loves is indeed
born again, becomes a new and a different man. Was it only a few
short hours ago, I asked myself, that I was listening to my mother's
attack upon Winifred? Was it this very evening that I was sitting in
Dullingham Church?
How far away in the past seemed those events! And as to my mother's
anger against Winifred, that anger and cruel scorn of class which had
concerned me so much, how insignificant now seemed this and every
other obstacle in love's path! I looked up at the moonlit sky; I
leaned upon a gate and looked across the silent fields where Winifred
and I used to gather violets in spring, hedge-roses in summer,
mushrooms in autumn, and I said, 'I will marry her; she shall be
mine; she shall be mine, though all the powers on earth, all the
powers in the universe, should say nay.'
As I spoke I saw that lights were flashing to and fro in the windows
of the Hall. 'My poor father is dead,' I said. I turned and ran up
the road. 'Oh, that I could have seen him once again!' At the hall
door I was met by a servant, and learnt that, while I had been
love-making on the sands, a message had come from the Continent with
news of my father's death.
There was no meeting Winifred on the next night.
It was decided that my uncle's private secretary should go to
Switzerland to bring the body to England. I (remembering my promise
about the mementos) insisted on accompanying him. We started on the
morrow, preceded by a message to my father's Swiss friends ordering
an embalmment. Before starting I tried to see Winifred; but she had
gone to Dullingham.
On our arrival at the little Swiss town, we found that the embalmment
had been begun. The body was still in the hands of a famous
embalmer—an Italian Jew settled at Geneva, the only successful rival
there of Professor Laskowski. He was celebrated for having revived
the old Hebraic method of embalmment in spices, and improving it by
the aid of the modern discoveries in antiseptics of Laskowski, Signer
Franchina of Naples, and Dr. Dupré of Paris. This physician told me
that by his process the body would, without the peculiarly-sealed
coffin used by the Swiss embalmers, last 'firm and white as Carrara
marble for a thousand years.'
The people at the chalet had naturally been much astonished to find
upon my father's breast a jewelled cross lying. As soon as I entered
the house they handed it to me.
For some reason or another this amulet and the curse had haunted my
imagination as much as if I believed in amulets and curses, though my
reason told me that everything of the kind was sheer nonsense. I
could not sleep for thinking about it, and in the night I rose from
my bed, and, opening the window, held up the cross in the moonlight.
The facets caught the silvery rays and focussed them. The amulet
seemed to shudder with some prophecy of woe. It was now that, for the
first time, I began to feel the signs of that great struggle between
reason and the inherited instinct of superstition which afterwards
played so important a part in my life. I then took up the parchment
scroll, and opened it and re-read the curse. The great letters in
which the English version was printed seemed to me larger by the
light of the moon than they had seemed by daylight.
We had to wait for some time in Switzerland. In a locked drawer I
found the casket and a copy of The Veiled Queen. I read much in the
book. Every word I found there was in flat contradiction to my own
mode of thought.
Did the shock of this dreadful catastrophe drive Winifred from my
mind? No, nothing could have done that. My soul seemed, as I have
said, to be new-born, and all emotions, passions, and sentiments that
were not connected with her seemed to be shadowy and distant, like
ante-natal dreams. It would be hypocrisy not to confess this frankly,
regardless of the impression against me it may make on the reader's
mind. Yet I had a real affection for my father. In spite of his
extraordinary obliviousness of my very existence till the last year
of his life, I was strongly attached to him, and his death made me
see nothing but his virtues; yet my soul was so filled with my
passion for Winifred as to have but little room for sorrow. As to my
mother, her attachment to my father knew no bounds, and her grief at
her bereavement knew none.
A day or two before the funeral my uncle Aylwin of Alvanley arrived,
and his presence was a great comfort to her. Owing to my father's
position in the county a great deal of funereal state was considered
necessary, and there was much hurry and bustle.
My uncle having known Wynne when quite a young man, before
intemperance had degraded him, took an interest in him still. He had
called at the cottage as he passed along Wilderness Road towards
Raxton, and the result of this was that the organist came to speak to
him at our house upon some matter in connection with the funeral
service. My mother was greatly vexed at this. Her conduct on the
occasion alarmed me. Ever since Frank's death had made it evident not
only that I should succeed to all the property of my uncle Aylwin of
Alvanley, but that I might even succeed to something greater, to the
earldom which was the glory and pride of the Aylwins, my mother had
kept a jealous and watchful eye upon me, being, as I afterwards
learned, not unmindful of the early child-loves of Winifred and
myself; and the advent to Raxton of Winifred, as a beautiful tall
girl, had aroused her fears as well as her wrath.
The day of the funeral came, and the question of the casket and the
amulet was on my mind. The important thing, of course, was that the
matter should be kept absolutely secret. The valuables must be placed
in secrecy with the embalmed corpse at the last moment, before the
screwing down of the coffin, when servants and undertakers were out
of sight and hearing.
My mother knew what had been my father's instructions to me, and was
desirous that they should be fulfilled, though she scorned the
superstition. She and I placed the casket and the scroll hearing the
written curse upon it beneath my father's head, and hung the chain of
the amulet around his neck, so that the cross lay with the jewels
uppermost upon his breast. Then the undertakers were called in to
screw down the coffin in my presence. My mother afterwards called me
to her room, and told me that she was much troubled about the cross.
The amulet being of great value, my uncle Aylwin of Alvanley had
tried to dissuade her from carrying into execution what he called
'the absurd whim of a mystic'; but my mother urged my promise, and
there had been warm words between them, as my mother told me—adding,
however, 'and the worst of it is, that scamp Wynne, whom your uncle
introduced into this house without my knowledge or sanction, was
passing the door while your uncle was talking, and if he did not hear
every word about the jewelled cross, drink must have stupefied him
indeed. He is my only fear in connection with the jewels.' Her
dislike of Wynne had made her forget for the moment the effect her
words must have upon me.
'Mother,' I said, 'your persistent prejudice and injustice towards
this man astonish me. Wynne, though poor and degraded now, is a
gentleman born, and is no more likely to violate a tomb than the best
Aylwin that ever lived.'
I will not dwell upon the scene at the funeral. I saw my father's
coffin placed in the crypt that spread beneath the deserted church.
It was by the earnest wish of my father that he was buried in a
church already deserted because the grip of the resistless sea was
upon it. At this very time a very large slice of the cliff behind the
church was pronounced dangerous, and I perceived that new rails were
lying on the grass ready to be fixed up, further inland than ever.
My mother retired to her room immediately on our return to the house.
My uncle stayed till just before dinner, and then left. I seemed to
be alone in a deserted house, so still were the servants, so quiet
seemed everything. But now what was this sense of undefined dread
that came upon me and would not let me rest? Why did I move from room
to room? and what was goading me? Something was stirring like a blind
creature across my brain, and it was too hideous to confront. Why
should I confront it? Why scare one's soul and lacerate one's heart
at every dark fear that peeps through the door of imagination, when
experience teaches us that out of every hundred such dark fears
ninety-nine are sure to turn out mere magic-lantern bogies?
The evening wore on, and yet I would not face this phantom fear,
though it refused to quit me.
The servants went to bed quite early that night, and when the butler
came to ask me if I should 'want anything more,' I said 'only a
candle,' and went up to my bedroom.
'I will turn into bed,' I said, 'and sleep over it. The idea is a
figment of an over-wrought brain. Destiny would never play any man a
trick like that which I have dared to dream of. Among human
calamities it would be at once the most shocking and the most
whimsical—this imaginary woe that scares me. Destiny is merciless,
but who ever heard of Destiny playing mere cruel practical jokes upon
man? Up to now the Fates have never set up as humorists. Now, for a
man to love, to dote upon, a girl whose father is the violator of his
own father's tomb—a wretch who has called down upon himself the most
terrible curse of a dead man that has ever been uttered—that would
be a fate too fantastically cruel to be permitted by Heaven—by any
governing power whose sanctions were not those of a whimsical
cruelty.'
Yet those words of my mother's about Wynne, and her suspicions of
him, were flitting about the air of the room like fiery-eyed bats.
The air of the room—ah! it was stifling me. I opened the window and
leant out. But that made matters a thousand times worse, for the moon
was now at the very full, and staring across—staring at
what?—staring across the sea at the tall tower of the old church on
the cliff, where perhaps the sin—the 'unpardonable sin,' according
to Cymric ideas—of sacrilege—sacrilege committed by her father
upon the grave of mine—might at this moment be going on. The body of
the church was hidden from me by the intervening trees, and nothing
but the tall tower shone in the silver light. So intently did the
moon stare at it, that it seemed to me that the inside of the church,
with its silent aisles, arches, and tombs, was reflected on her disc.
The moon oppressed me, and when I turned my eyes away I seemed to see
hanging in the air the silent aisles of a church, through whose
windows the moonlight was pouring, flooding them with a radiance more
ghastly than darkness, concentrating all its light on the chancel,
beneath which I knew that my father was lying in the dark crypt with
a cross on his breast. I turned for relief to look in the room, and
there, in the darkness made by the shadow of the bed, I seemed to
read, written in pale, trembling flame, the words:
'LET THERE BE NO MAN TO PITY HIM, NOR TO HAVE COMPASSION UPON HIS
FATHERLESS CHILDREN….LET HIS CHILDREN BE VAGABONDS, AND BEG THEIR
BREAD: LET THEM SEEK IT ALSO OUT OF DESOLATE PLACES.'
I returned to the window for relief from the bedroom.
'Now, let me calmly consider the case in all its bearings, I said to
myself, drawing a chair to the window and sitting down with my elbows
resting on the sill. 'Suppose Wynne really did overhear the
altercation between my mother and my uncle, which seems scarcely
probable, has drink really so demoralised him, so brutalised him,
that for drink he would commit the crime of sacrilege? There are no
signs of his having sunk so low as that. But suppose the crime were
committed, what then? Do I really believe that the curse of my father
and of the Psalmist would fall upon Winifred's pure and innocent
head? Certainly not. I do not believe in the effect of curses at all.
I do not belief in any supernatural interference with the natural
laws of the universe.'
Ah! but this thought about the futility of the curse, about the folly
of my father's superstitions, brought me no comfort. I knew that,
brave as Winifred was as a child, she was, when confronting the
material world, very superstitious. I remembered that as a child,
whenever I said, 'What a happy day it has been!' she would not rest
until she had made me add, 'and shall have many more,' because of her
feeling of the prophetic power of words. I knew that the
superstitions of the Welsh hills awed her. I knew that it had been
her lot to imbibe, not only Celtic, but Romany superstitions. I knew
that the tribe of Gypsies with whom she had been thrown into contact,
the Lovells and the Boswells, though superior to the rest, of the
Romany race, are the most superstitious of all, and that Winifred had
become an object of strong affection to the most superstitious even
among that tribe, one Sinfi Lovell. I knew from something that had
once fallen from her as a child on the sands, when prattling about
Sinfi Lovell and Rhona Boswell, that especially powerful with her was
the idea (both Romany and Celtic) about the effect of a dead man's
curse. I knew that this idea had a dreadful fascination for her—the
fascination of repulsion. I knew also that reason may strive with
superstition as with the other instincts, but it will strive in vain.
I knew that it would have been worse than idle for me to say to
Winifred, 'There is no curse in the matter. The dreaming mystic who
begot and forgot me, what curse could he call down on a soul like my
Winifred's?' Her reason might partly accept my arguments; but
straightway they would be spurned by her instincts and her
traditional habits of thought. The terrible voice of the Psalmist
would hush every other sound. Her sweet soul would pine under the
blazing fire of a curse, real or imaginary; her life would be
henceforth but a bitter penance. Like the girl in Coleridge's poem of
'The Three Graves,' her very flesh would waste before the fires of
her imagination. 'No,' said I, 'such a calamity as this which I dread
Heaven would not permit. So cruel a joke as this Hell itself would
not have the heart to play.'
My meditations were interrupted by a sound, and then by a sensation
such as I cannot describe. Whence came that shriek? It was like a
coming from a distance—loud there, faint here, and yet it seemed
to come from me! It was as though I were witnessing some dreadful
sight unutterable and intolerable. And then it seemed the voice of
Winifred, and then it seemed her father's voice, and finally it
seemed the voice of my own father struggling in his tomb. My horror
stopped the pulses of my heart for a moment, and then it passed.
'It comes from the church or from behind the church,' I said, as the
shriek was followed by an angry murmur as of muffled thunder. All had
occurred within the space of half a second. I quickly but cautiously
opened my bedroom door, extinguishing my light before doing so, and
began to creep downstairs, fearing to wake my mother. My shoes
creaked, so I took them off and carried them. Crossing the hall, I
softly drew the bolts of the front door; then I passed into the
moonlight. The gravel of the carriage-drive cut through my stockings,
and a pebble bruised one of my heels so that I nearly fell. When I
got safely under the shadow of the large cedar of Lebanon in the
middle of the lawn, I stopped and looked up at my mother's window to
see if she were a watcher. The blinds were down, there was no
movement, no noise. Evidently she was asleep. I put on my shoes and
hurried across the lawn towards the high road. I walked at a sharp
pace towards the old church. The bark of a distant dog or the baa of
a waking sheep was the only sound. When I reached the churchyard, I
peered in dread over the lich-gate before I opened it. Neither Wynne
nor any living creature was to be seen in the churchyard.
The soothing smell of the sea came from the cliffs, making me wonder
at my fears. On the loneliest coast, in the dunnest night, a sense of
companionship comes with the smell of seaweed. At my feet spread the
great churchyard, with its hundreds of little green hillocks and
white gravestones, sprinkled here and there with square, box-like
tombs. All quietly asleep in the moonlight! Here and there an aged
headstone seemed to nod to its neighbour, as though muttering in its
dreams. The old church, bathed in the radiance, seemed larger than it
had ever done in daylight, and incomparably more grand and lonely.
On the left were the tall poplar trees, rustling and whispering among
themselves. Still, there might be at the back of the church mischief
working. I walked round thither. The ghostly shadows on the long
grass might have been shadows thrown by the ruins of Tadmor, so
quietly did they lie and dream. A weight was uplifted from my soul.
A balm of sweet peace fell upon my heart. The noises I had heard had
been imaginary, conjured up by love and fear; or they might have been
an echo of distant thunder. The windows of the church no doubt looked
ghastly, as I peered in to see whether Wynne's lantern was moving
about. But all was still. I lingered in the churchyard close by the
spot where I had first seen the child Winifred and heard the Welsh
song.
I went to look at the sea from the cliff. Here, however, there was
something sensational at last. The spot where years ago I had sat
when Winifred's song had struck upon my ear and awoke me to a new
life—was gone! 'This then was the noise I heard,' I said; 'the
rumbling was the falling of the earth; the shriek was the tearing
down of trees.'
Another slice, a slice weighing thousands of tons, had slipped since
the afternoon from the churchyard on to the sands below. 'Perhaps the
tread of the townspeople who came to witness the funeral may have
given the last shake to the soil,' I said.
I stood and looked over the newly-made gap at the great hungry water.
Considering the little wind, the swell on the North Sea was
tremendous. Far away there had been a storm somewhere. The moon was
laying a band of living light across the vast bosom of the sea, like
a girdle. Only a month had elapsed since that never-to-be-forgotten
moonlight walk with Winifred. But what a world of emotion since then!
I walked along the cliff to the gangway behind Flinty Point, and
descended in order to see what havoc the landslip had made with the
graves.
I looked across the same moonlit sands where I had seen Winifred so
short a time before, when I had a father. To my delight and surprise,
there she was again. There was Winifred, walking thoughtfully towards
Church Cove with Snap by her side, who seemed equally thoughtful and
sedate. The relief of finding that my fears about her father were
groundless added to my joy at seeing her. With my own dead father
lying within a few roods of me, I ran towards her in a state of high
exhilaration, forgetting everything but her. With sympathetic looks
for my bereavement she met me, and we walked hand-in-hand in silence.
After a little while she said: 'My father told me he was very busy
to-night, and wished me to come on the sands for a walk, but I little
hoped to meet you; I am very pleased we have met, for to-morrow I am
going to London.'
'To London?' I said, in dismay at the thought of losing her so soon.
'Why are you going to London. Winnie?'
'Oh,' said she, with the same innocent look of business-like
importance which, at our first meeting as children, had so impressed
me when she pulled out the key to open the church door, 'I'm going on
business.'
'On business! And how long do you stay?'
'I don't stay at all; I'm coming back immediately.'
'Come,' I exclaimed, 'there's a little comfort in that, at least.
Snap and I can wait for one day.'
'Good-night,' said Winifred.
'Have you not seen the great landslip at the churchyard?' I asked,
taking her hand and pointing to the new promontory which the débris
of the fall had made.
'Another landslip?' said she. 'Poor dear old churchyard, it will soon
all be gone! Snap and I must have been far away when that fell. But I
remember saying to him, 'Hark at the thunder. Snap!' and then I heard
a sound like a shriek that appalled me. It recalled a sound I once
heard in Shire-Carnarvon.'
'What was it, Winnie?'
'You've heard me when I was a little girl talk of my Gypsy sister
Sinfi?'
'Often,' I said.
'She loves me more than anybody else in the whole world,' said
Winifred simply. 'She says she would lay down her life for me, and I
really believe she would. Well, there is not far from where I used to
live a famous cascade called the Swallow Falls, where the water drops
down a chasm of great depth. If you listen to the noise of the
cataract, you may hear mingled with it a peculiar kind of wail as
from a man in great agony. It is said to be the wail of a Sir John
Wynn, of Gwydir, whose spirit is under a curse, and is imprisoned at
the bottom of the falls on account of his cruelty and misdeeds on
earth. On those rare nights when the full moon shines down the
chasm, the wail becomes an agonised shriek. Once on a bright
moonlight night Sinfi and I went to see these falls. The moonlight on
the cascade had exactly the same supernatural appearance that it has
now falling upon these billows. Sinfi sings some of our Welsh songs,
and accompanies herself on a peculiar obsolete Welsh instrument
called a crwth, which she always carries with her. While we were
listening to the cataract and what she called the Wynn wail, she
began to sing the wild old air. Then at once the wail sprang into a
loud shriek; Sinfi said the shriek of a cursed spirit; and the
shriek was exactly like the sound I heard from the cliffs a little
while ago.'
'I heard the same noise, Winnie. It was simply the rending and
cracking of the poor churchyard trees as they fell.'
She turned back with me to the water-mark to see the waves come
tumbling in beneath the moon. We sauntered along the sea-margin
again, heedless of the passage of time.
And again (as on that betrothal night) Winifred prattled on,
while I listened to the prattle, craftily throwing in a word or two,
now and then, to direct the course of the sweet music into such
channels as best pleased my lordly whim,—when suddenly, against my
will and reason, there came into my mind that idea of the sea's
prophecy which was so familiar to my childhood, but which my studies
had now made me despise.
The sea then threw up to Winifred's feet a piece of seaweed. It was a
long band of common weed, that would in the sunlight have shone a
bright red. And at that very moment—right across the sparkling bar
the moon had laid over the sea—there passed, without any cloud to
cast it, a shadow. And my father's description of his love-tragedy
haunted me, I knew not why. And right across my life, dividing it in
twain like a burn-scar, came and lay for ever that strip of red
seaweed. Why did my father's description of his own love-tragedy
haunt me?
Before recalling the words that had fallen from my father in
Switzerland, I was a boy: in a few minutes afterwards, I was a man
with an awful knowledge of Destiny in my eyes—a man struggling with
calamity, and fainting in the grip of dread. My manhood, I say, dates
from the throwing up of that strip of seaweed. Winifred picked up the
weed and made a necklace of it, in the old childish way, knowing how
much it would please me.
'Isn't it a lovely colour?' she said, as it glistened in the
moonlight. 'Isn't it just as beautiful and just as precious as if it
were really made of the jewels it seems to rival?'
'It is as red as the reddest ruby,' I replied, putting out my hand
and grasping the slippery substance.
'Would you believe,' said Winnie, 'that I never saw a ruby in my
life? And now I particularly want to know all about rubies.'
'Why do you want particularly to know?'
'Because,' said Winifred, 'my father, when he wished me to come out
for a walk, had been talking a great deal about rubies.'
'Your father had been talking about rubies, Winifred—how very odd!'
'Yes,' said Winifred, 'and he talked about diamonds too.'
'THE CURSE!' I murmured, and clasped her to my breast. 'Kiss me,
Winifred!'
There had come a bite of sudden fire at my heart, and I shuddered
with a dreadful knowledge, like the captain of an unarmed ship, who,
while the unconscious landsmen on board are gaily scrutinising a sail
that like a speck has appeared on the horizon, shudders with the
knowledge of what the speck is, and hears in imagination the yells,
and sees the knives, of the Lascar pirates just starting in pursuit.
As I took in the import of those innocent words, falling from
Winifred's bright lips, falling as unconsciously as water-drops over
a coral reef in tropical seas alive with the eyes of a thousand
sharks, my skin seemed to roughen with dread, and my hair began to
stir.
At first she resisted my movement, but looking in my eyes and seeing
that something had deeply disturbed me, she let me kiss her. 'What
did you say, Henry?'
'That I love you so, Winnie, and cannot let you go just yet.'
'What a dear fellow it is!' she said; 'and all this ado about a poor
girl with scarcely shoes to her feet.' Then, after an instant's
pause, she said: 'But I thought you said something very different. I
thought you said something about a curse, and that scared me.'
'Scared Winifred!' I said. 'Fancy anything scaring Winnie, who
threatens to hit people when they offend her.'
'Ah! but I am scared,' said she, 'at things from the other world, and
especially at a curse.'
'Why, what do you know about curses, Winifred?'
'Oh, a good deal. I have never forgotten that shriek of a cursed
spirit which I heard at the Swallow Falls. And only a short time ago
Sinfi Lovell nearly frightened me to death by a story of a whole
Gypsy tribe having withered, one after the other—grandfathers,
fathers, and children—through a dead man's curse. But what is the
matter with you, Henry? You surely have turned very pale!'
'Well, Winnie,' said I, 'I am a little, just a little faint. After
the funeral I could take no dinner. But it will he over in a minute.
Let us go back a few yards and sit down upon the dry sand, and have
a little more chat.'
We went and sat down, and my heart slowly resumed its function.
'Let me see, Winnie, what were we talking about? About rubies and
diamonds, I think, were we not? You said that when your father bade
you come out for a walk to-night, he had just been talking about
rubies and diamonds. What was he saying about them, Winnie? But come
and lay your head here while you tell me; lay it on my breast,
Winnie, as you used to do in Graylingham Wood, and on these same
sands.'
Evidently the earnestness of my manner and the suppressed passion in
my voice drove out of her mind all her wise saws about the perils of
wealth and all her wise determinations about the postponed betrothal,
for she came and sat by my side and laid her head upon my breast.
'Yes. like that,' I said; 'and now tell me what your father was
saying about precious stones; for I, too, take an interest in jewels,
and have a great knowledge of them.'
'My father,' said Winifred, 'is going to have some diamonds and
rubies given to him to-night by a friend of his, a sailor, who has
come from India, and I am to go to London to-morrow to sell some of
them; for you know, dear, we are very poor. That is why I am
determined to go back to Shire-Carnarvon and see if I can get a
situation as governess. Miss Dalrymple's recommendation will be of
great aid. Poverty afflicts father more than it afflicts most people,
and the rubies and diamonds and things will be of no use to us, you
know.'
I could make her no answer.
'It seems a very strange kind of present from my father's friend,'
she continued, meditatively; 'but it is a very kind one for all that.
But, Henry, you surely are still very unwell; your heart is thumping
underneath my ear like a fire-engine.'
'They are all love-thumps for Winifred,' I said, with pretended
jocosity; 'they are all love-thumps for my Winnie.'
'But of course,' said she, 'this is quite a secret about the precious
stones. My father enjoined me to tell no one, because the temptation
to people is so great, and the cottage might be robbed, or I might be
waylaid going to London. But of course I may tell you; he never
thought of you.'
'No, Winnie, he never thought of me. You are very fond of him; very
fond of your father, are you not?'
'Oh yes,' said she, 'I love him more than all the world—next to
you.'
'Then he is kind to you, Winnie?' 'Ye—yes, as kind as he can
be—considering—'
'Considering what, Winnie?'
'Considering that he's often—unwell, you know.'
'Winnie.' I said, as I gazed in the innocent eyes, 'whom are you
considered to be the most like, your father or your mother?'
'I never knew my mother, but I am said to be partly like her. Why do
you ask?'
'Only an idle question. You love me, Winnie?'
'What a question!'
'And you will do what I ask you to do, if I ask you very earnestly,
Winnie?'
'Certumly,' said Winifred, giving, with a forced laugh, the lisp with
which that word had been given on a now famous occasion.
'Well, Winifred, I told you that I feel an interest in precious
stones, and have some knowledge of them. There are certain stones to
which I have the greatest antipathy: diamonds and rubies are the
chief of these.
Now I want you to promise that diamonds and rubies and beryls shall
never touch these fingers, these dear fingers, Winnie, which are
mine, you know; they are mine now,' and I drew the smooth nails
slowly along my lips. 'You are mine now, every bit.'
'Every bit,' said Winifred, but she looked perplexed.
She saw, however, by my face that, for some reason or other, I was
deeply in earnest. She gave the promise. And I knew at least that
those fingers would not be polluted, come what would. As to her going
to London with the spoil, I knew how to prevent that.
But what course of action was I now to take? At this very moment
perhaps Winifred's father was violating my father's tomb, unless
indeed the crime might even yet he prevented. There was one hope,
however. The drunken scoundrel whose daughter was my world I knew to
be a procrastinator in everything. His crime might, even yet, be only
a crime in intent; and, if so, I could prevent it easily enough. My
first business was to hurry to the church, and, if not yet too late,
keep guard over the tomb. But to achieve this I must get quit of
Winifred without a moment's delay. Now Winifred's most direct path to
the cottage was the path I myself must take to the church, the
gangway behind Flinty Point. Yet she must not pass the church with
me, lest an encounter with her father should take place. There was
thus but one course open. I must induce her to take the gangway
behind the other point of the cove; and how was this to be compassed?
That was what I was racking my brain about.
'Winifred,' I said at last, as we sat and looked at the sea, 'I begin
to fear we must be moving.'
She started up, vexed that the hint to move had come from me.
'The fact is,' I said, 'I particularly want to go into the old
church.'
'Into the old church to-night?' said Winifred, with a look of
astonishment and alarm that I could not understand.
'Yes; something was left undone there this afternoon at the funeral,
and I must go at once. But why do you look so alarmed?'
'Oh, don't go into the old church to-night,' said Winifred.
I stood and looked at her, puzzled and strangely disturbed.
'Henry,' said she, 'I know you will think me very foolish, but I have
not yet got over the fright that shriek gave me, the shriek we both
heard the moment before the landslip. That shriek was not a noise
made by the rending of trees, Henry. No, no; we both know better than
that, Henry.'
I gave a start; for, try as I would, I had not really succeeded in
persuading myself that what I had heard was anything but a human
voice in terror or in pain.
'What do you think the noise was, then?' said I.
'I don't know; but I know what I felt as it came shuddering along the
sand, and then went wailing over the sea.'
'What did you feel, Winnie?'
'My heart stood still, for it seemed to me to be the call from the
grave.'
'The call from the grave! and pray what is that? I feel how sadly my
education has been neglected.'
'Don't scoff, Henry. It is said that when the fate of an old family
is at stake, there will sometimes come to him who represents it a
call from the grave, and when I saw Snap standing stock still, his
hair bristling with terror, I knew that it was no earthly shriek. I
felt sure it was a call from the grave, and I knelt on the sands and
prayed. Henry, Henry, don't go in the church to-night.'
That Winifred's words affected me profoundly I need not say. The
shriek, whatever it was, had been responded to by her soul and by
mine in the same mysterious way. But the important thing to do was to
prevent her from imagining that her superstitious terrors had
affected me.
'Really, Winnie,' I said, 'this double-voiced shriek of yours, which
is at once the shriek of the Welshman at the bottom of the swollen
falls and the Celtic call from the grave, is the most dramatic shriek
I ever heard of. It would make its fortune on the stage. But with all
its power of being the shriek of two different people at once, it
must not prevent my going into the church to do my duty; so we had
better part here at this very spot. You go up the cliffs by Needle
Point, and I will take Flinty Point gangway.'
'But why not ascend the cliffs together?' said Winifred.
'Why, the prying coastguard might be passing, and might wonder to
see us in the churchyard on the night of my father's funeral (he
might take us for two ghosts in love, you know). However, we need not
part just yet. We can walk on a little farther into the cove before
our paths diverge.'
Winifred made no demur, though she looked puzzled, as we were then
much nearer to the gangway I had selected for myself than to the
gangway I had allotted to her.
Winifred and I were in the little horseshoe curve called 'Church
Cove,' but also called sometimes 'Mousetrap Cove,' because, as I have
already mentioned, a person imprisoned in it by the tide could only
escape by means of a boat from the sea.
Needle Point was at one extremity of the cove and Flinty Point at the
other. In front of us, therefore, at the very centre of the cliff
that surrounded the cove, was the old church, which I was to reach as
soon as possible. To reach a gangway up the cliff it was necessary to
pass quite out of the cove, round either Flinty Point or Needle
Point; for the cliff within the cove was perpendicular, and in some
parts actually overhanging.
When we reached the softer sands near the back of the cove, where the
walking was difficult, I bade Winifred good-night, and she turned
somewhat demurely to the left on her way to Needle Point, between
which and the spot where we now parted she would have to pass below
the church on the cliff, and close by the great masses of debris from
the new landslip that had fallen from the churchyard. This landslip
(which had taken place since she had left home for her moonlight
walk) had changed the shape of the cove into a figure something like
the Greek epsilon.
I walked rapidly towards Flinty Point, which I should have to double
before I could reach the gangway I was to take. So feverishly
possessed had I become by the desire to prevent the sacrilege, if
possible, that I had walked some distance away from Winifred before I
observed how high the returning tide had risen in the cove.
When I now looked at Flinty Point, round which I was to turn, I saw
that it was already in deep water, and that I could not reach the
gangway outside the cove. It was necessary, therefore, to turn back
and ascend by the gangway Winifred was making for, behind Needle
Point, which did not project so far into the sea. So I turned back.
As I did so, I perceived that she had reached the projecting mass of
debris in the middle of the semicircle below the churchyard, and was
looking at it. Then I saw her stoop, pick up what seemed a paper
parcel, open it, and hold it near her face to trace out the letters
by the moonlight. Then I saw her give a start as she read it. I
walked towards her, and soon reached the landslip. Evidently what she
read agitated her much. She seemed to read it and re-read it. When
she saw me she put it behind her back, trying to conceal it from me.
'What have you picked up, Winifred?' I said, in much alarm; for my
heart told me that it was in some way connected with her father and
the shriek.
'Oh, Henry!' said she, 'I was in hopes you had not seen it. I am so
grieved for you. This parchment contains a curse written in large
letters. Some sacrilegious wretch has broken into the church and
stolen a cross placed in your father's tomb.'
God!—It was the very same parchment scroll from my father's tomb on
which was written the curse! I was struck dumb with astonishment and
dismay. The whole terrible truth of the situation broke in upon me at
one flash. The mysterious shriek was explained now. Wynne had
evidently broken open the tomb as soon as his daughter was out of the
way. He had then, in order to reach the cottage without running the
risk of being seen by a chance passenger on the Wilderness Road,
blundered about the edge of the cliff at the very moment when it was
giving way, and had fallen with it. It was his yell of despair amid
the noise of the landslip that Winifred and I had both heard. My sole
thought was for Winifred. She had read the curse; but where was the
dead body of her father that would proclaim upon whose head the curse
had fallen? I stared around me in dismay. She saw how deeply I was
disturbed, but little dreamed the true cause.
'Oh, Henry,' said she, 'to think that you should have such a grief as
this; your dear father's tomb violated!' and she sat down and sobbed.
'But there is a God in heaven,' she added, rising with great
solemnity. 'Whoever has committed this dreadful crime against God and
man will rue the day he was born:—the curse of a dead man who has
been really wronged no penance or prayer can cure,—so my aunt in
Wales used to say, and so Sinfi says;—it clings to the wrongdoer and
to his children. That cry I heard was the voice of vengeance, and it
came from your father's tomb.'
'It is a most infamous robbery,' I said; 'but as to the curse, that
is of course as powerless to work mischief as the breath of a baby.'
And again I anxiously looked around to see where was the dead body of
Wynne, which I knew must be close by.
'Oh, Henry!' said she, 'listen to these words, these awful words of
your dead father, and the words of the Bible too.'
And she held up to her eyes, as though fascinated by it, the
parchment scroll, and read aloud in a voice so awe-struck that it did
not seem to be her voice at all:
'He who shall violate this tomb,—he who shall steal this amulet,
hallowed as a love-token between me and my dead wife,—he who shall
dare to lay a sacrilegious hand upon this cross, stands cursed by
God, cursed by love, and cursed by me, Philip Aylwin, lying here.
"Let there be no man to pity him, nor to have compassion upon his
fatherless children….Let his children be vagabonds, and beg their
bread: let them seek it also out of desolate places."—Psalm cix.
So saith the Lord. Amen.'
'I am in the toils,' I murmured, with grinding teeth.
'What a frightful curse!' she said, shuddering. 'It terrifies me to
think of it. How hard it seems,' she continued, 'that the children
should be cursed for the father's crimes.'
'But, Winifred, they are NOT so cursed,' I cried. 'It is all a
hideous superstition: one of Man's idiotic lies!'
'Henry,' said she, shocked at my irreverence, 'it is so; the Bible
says it, and all life shows it. Ah! I wonder what wretch committed
the sacrilege, and why he had no pity on his poor innocent children!'
While she was talking, I stooped and picked up the casket from which
the letters had been forced by the fall. She had not seen it. I put
it in my pocket.
'Henry, I am so grieved for you,' said Winifred again, and she came
and wound her fingers in mine.
Grieved for me! But where was her father's dead body? That was the
thought that appalled me. Should we come upon it in the débris?
What was to be done? Owing to the tide, there was no turning back now
to Flinty Point. The projecting debris must be passed. There was no
dallying for a moment. If we lingered we should be caught by the tide
in Mousetrap Cove, and then nothing could save us. Suppose in passing
the débris we should come upon her father's corpse. The idea was
insupportable. 'Thank God, however, I murmured, 'she will not even
then know the very worst; she will see the corpse of her father who
has fallen with the cliff, but she need not and will not associate
him with the sacrilege and the curse.'
As I picked up the letters that had been scattered from the casket,
she said,
'I cannot get that dreadful curse out of my head; to think that the
children of the despoiler should be cursed by God, and cursed by your
father, and yet they are as innocent as I am.'
'Best to forget it,' said I, standing still, for I dared not move
towards the débris.
'We must get on, Henry,' said she, 'for look, the tide is unusually
high to-night. You have turned back, I see, because Flinty Point is
already deep in the water.'
'Yes,' I said, 'I must turn Needle Point with you. But as to the
sacrilege, let us dismiss it from our minds; what cannot be helped
had better be forgotten.'
I then cautiously turned the corner of the débris, leading her
after me in such a way that my body acted as a screen. Then my eyes
encountered a spectacle whose horror chilled my blood, and haunts me
to this day in my dreams. About twelve feet above the general level
of the sand, buried to the breast behind a mass of green sward fallen
from the graveyard, stood the dead body of Wynne, amid a confused
heap of earth, gravestones, trees, shrubs, bones, and shattered
coffins. Bolt upright it stood, staring with horribly distorted
features, as in terror, the crown of the head smashed by a fallen
gravestone. Upon his breast glittered the rubies and diamonds and
beryls of the cross, sparkling in the light of the moon, and seeming
to be endowed with conscious life. It was evident that he had, while
groping his way out of the crypt, slung the cross around his neck, in
order to free his hands. I shudder as I recall the spectacle. The
sight would have struck Winifred dead, or sent her raving mad, on the
spot; but she had not turned the corner, and I had just time to wheel
sharply round, and thrust my body between her and the spectacle. The
dog saw it, and, foaming with terror, pointed at it.
'I beg your pardon, Winifred,' I said, falling upon her and pushing
her back.
Then I stood paralysed as the full sinister meaning of the situation
broke in upon my mind. Had the débris fallen in any other way I
might have saved Winifred from seeing the most cruel feature of the
hideous spectacle, the cross, the evidence of her father's sacrilege.
I might, perhaps, on some pretence, have left her on this side the
débris, and turning the corner, have mounted the heap and removed
the cross gleaming in hideous mockery on the dead man's breast, and
giving back the moonbeams in a cross of angry fire. One glance,
however, had shown me that before this could be done, there was a
wall of slippery sward to climb, for the largest portion of the
churchyard soil had broken off in one lump. In falling, it had turned
but half over, and then had slid down sideways, presenting to the
climber a facet or sward nearly perpendicular and a dozen feet high.
Wedged in between the jaggy top of this block and the wall of the
cliff was the corpse, showing that Wynne had been standing by the
fissure of the cliff at the moment when it widened into a landslip.
Nor was that all; between that part of the débris where the corpse
was perched and the sand below was one of those long pools of
sea-water edged by shingles, which are common features of that coast.
It seemed that Destiny or Circumstance, more pitiless than Fate and
Hell, determined on our ruin, had forgotten nothing.
The contour of the cove; the way in which the debris had been thrown
across the path we now must follow in order to reach the only place
of egress; the way in which the hideous spectacle of Wynne and the
proof of his guilt had been placed, so that to pass it without seeing
it the passenger must go blindfold; the brilliance of the moon,
intensified by being reflected from the sea; the fulness of the high
tide, and the swell—all was complete! As I stood there with clenched
teeth, like a rat in a trap, a wind seemed to come blowing through my
soul, freezing and burning. I cursed Superstition that was slaying us
both. And I should have cursed Heaven but for the touch of Winnie's
clasping fingers, silky and soft as when I first felt them as a child
in the churchyard.
'What has happened?' asked she, looking into my face.
'Only a slip of my foot,' I said, recovering my presence of mind.
'But why do you turn back?'
'I cannot bring myself to part from you under this delicious moon,
Winnie, if you will stay a few minutes longer. Let us go and sit on
that very boulder where little Hal proposed to you.'
'But you want to go into the church,' said Winifred, as we moved back
towards the boulder.
'No, I will leave that till the morning. I would leave anything
till the morning, to have a few minutes longer with you on the sands.
Try to imagine that we are children again, and that I am not the
despised rich man but little Hal the cripple.'
Winifred's eyes, which had begun to look very troubled, sparkled with
delight.
'But,' said she with a sigh, as we sat down on the boulder, 'I'm
afraid we sha'n't be able to stay long. See how the tide is rising,
and the sea is wild. The tides just now, father says, come right up
to the cliff in the cove, and once locked in between Flinty Point and
Needle Point there is no escape.'
'Yes, darling,' I muttered to myself, drawing her to me and burying
my face in her bosom, 'there is one escape, only one.'
For death seemed to me the only escape from a tragedy far, far worse
than death.
If she made me any answer I heard it not; for, as I sat there with
closed eyes, schemes of escape fluttered before me and were dismissed
at the rate of a thousand a second. A fiery photograph of the cove
was burning within my brain, my mind was absorbed in examining every
cranny and every protuberance in the semicircular wall of the cliff
there depicted; over and over again I was examining that
brain-picture, though I knew every inch of it, and knew there was not
in the cliff-wall foothold for a squirrel.
The moon mocked me, and seemed to say:
'The blasting spectacle shining there on the other side of that heap
of earth must be passed, or Needle Point can never be reached; and
unless it is reached instantly you and she can never leave the cove.'
'Then we will never leave it,' I whispered to myself, jumping up.
As I did so I found for the first time that her forehead had been
resting against my head; for the furious rate at which the wheels of
thought were moving left no vital current for the sense of touch, and
my flesh was numbed.
'Something has happened,' she said. 'And why did you keep whispering
"yes, yes"? Whom were you whispering to?'
The truth was that, in that dreadful trance, my conscience had been
saying to me, 'Have you a right to exercise your power over this girl
by leading her like a lamb to death?' and my love had replied, 'Yes,
ten thousand times yes.'
'Winifred,' I said, 'I would die for you.'
'Yes, Henry,' said she, 'I know it; but what have we to do with death
now?'
'To save you from harm this flesh of mine would rejoice at
crucifixion; to save you from death this soul and body of mine would
rejoice to endure a thousand years of hell-fire.'
She turned pale, amazed at the delirium into which I had passed.
'To save you from harm, dear, I would,' said I, with a quiet
fierceness that scared her, 'immolate the whole human race—mothers,
and fathers, and children; I would make a hecatomb of them all to
save this body of yours, this sweet body, alive.'
But I could not proceed. What I had meant to say was this,—
'And yet, Winnie, I have brought you here to this boulder to die!'
But I could not say it—my tongue rebelled and would not say it.
Winifred was so full of health and enjoyment of life that, courageous
as she was. I felt that the prospect of certain and imminent death
must appal her; and to see the look of terror break over her face
confronting death was what I could not bear. And yet the thing must
be said. But at this very moment, when my perplexity seemed direst, a
blessed thought came to me—a subterfuge holier than truth. I knew
the Cymric superstition about 'the call from the grave,' for had not
she herself just told me of it?
'I will turn Superstition, accursed Superstition itself, to account,'
I muttered. 'I will pretend that I am enmeshed in a web of Fate, and
doomed to die here myself. Then, if I know my Winifred, she will, of
her own free mind, die with me.'
'Winnie,' I said, 'I have to tell you something that I know must
distress you sorely on my account—something that must wring your
heart, dear, and yet it must be told.'
She turned her head sharply round with a look of alarm that almost
silenced me, so pathetic was it. On that courageous face I had not
seen alarm before, and this was alarm for evil coming to me. It shook
my heart—it shook my heart so that I could not speak.
'I felt,' said she, 'that something awful had happened. And it
affects yourself, Henry?'
'It affects myself.'
'And very deeply?'
'Very deeply, Winnie.'
Then, pulling from my pocket the silver casket and the parchment
scroll, I said, 'It has relation to these.'
'That I felt,' said she; 'how could it be otherwise? Oh, the
miscreant! I curse him; I curse him!'
'Winifred,' I said, 'between me and this casket, and the cross
mentioned in this scroll, there is a mysterious link. The cross is an
amulet, an heirloom of dreadful potency for good and ill. It has been
disturbed; it has been stolen from my father's grave, and there is
but one way of setting right that disturbance. To avert unspeakable
calamity from falling upon two entire families (the family of Aylwin
and that of her to whom this amulet was given) a sacrifice is
demanded.'
'Henry, you terrify me to death. What is the sacrifice? Oh God! Oh
God!'
'My father's son must die, Winnie.'
She turned ashen pale, but struggling to be playful, she said, 'I
fear that the family of Aylwin and the family of somebody else must
even take the calamity and bear it; for I don't mean my Henry to die,
let me assure both families of that.'
'Ah! but, Winnie, I am under a solemn oath and pledge to bear this
penalty; and we part to-night, That shriek which so appalled you—'
'Well, well, the shriek?' said she, in a frenzy of impatience.
I made no answer, but she answered herself.
'That shriek was a call to you,' she cried, and then burst into a
passion of tears. 'It cannot be,' she said. 'It cannot and shall
not be; God is too good to suffer it,' Then she fixed her eyes upon
me, and sobbed: 'Ah, it is true! I feel it is all true! Yes, they
are calling you, and that is why my soul answered the call. Ah, when
I saw you just now lift your head from my breast with a face grey and
wizened as an old man's—when I saw you look at me, I knew that
something dreadful had happened. Oh, I knew, I knew! but I thought it
had happened to me. The love and pity in your eyes when you opened
them upon me made me think it was my trouble, and not yours, that
disturbed you. And now I know it is yours, and you are going to die!
They are calling you. Yes, you are going to let the tide drown you!
Oh, my love my love!' and her grief was so acute that I knew not at
first whether in this I had done well after all.
'Winifred,' I said, 'you must bear this. I have always been ready to
take death when it should come. I have at least had one blessed time
with Winifred on the sands—Winifred the beloved and beautiful
girl—one night, as the crown to the happy days that have been mine
with Winifred the beloved and beautiful child. And that night, as we
were walking by the sea, it seemed to me that such happiness as was
ours can come but once—that never again could there be a night equal
to that.'
Smiles broke through her tears as she listened to me. I had struck
the right chord.
'And I thought so too,' she said. 'It was indeed a night of bliss.
Indeed, indeed God has been good to us, Henry,' and she fell into my
arms again.
'And now, Winnie,' I said, 'we must kiss and part—part for ever.'
Yes, I had struck the right chord. As she lay in my arms I felt her
soft bosom moving with a little hysterical laugh of derision when I
said we must part. And then she rose and sat beside me upon the
boulder, looking calm and fearless at the tide as it got nearer and
nearer to Needle Point.
'Yes, dear,' I said, looking in the same direction, 'you must be
going; see how the waves are surrounding the Point. You must run,
Winnie—you must run, and leave me.'
'Yes,' said she, still gazing across to the Point, 'as you say, I
must run, but not yet, dear; plenty of time yet,' and she smiled to
herself as she used to do in the old days, when as a child she had
made up her mind to do something.
Then without another word she took her shawl from her shoulders, and
pulled it out to see its length. And soon I felt her fingers stealing
my penknife from my waistcoat-pocket, and saw her deftly cut up the
shawl, strip after strip, and weave it and knot it into a rope, and
tie the rope around her waist, and then she stooped to tie it around
me.
It was when I felt her warm breath about my neck as she stooped over
me to tie that rope, that love was really revealed to me; it was
then, and not till then, that all my previous love for Winifred
seemed as the flicker of a rushlight to Sálamán's cloak of fire; and
a feeling of bliss unutterable came upon me, and the night air seemed
full of music, and the sky above seemed opening, as she whispered,
'Henry, Henry, Henry, in a few minutes you will be mine.' But the
very confidence with which she spoke these simple words startled me
as from a dream. 'Suppose,' I thought, 'suppose my last drop of bliss
with Winnie were being tasted now!' In a moment I felt like a coward.
But then there came a loud crash and a thunder from behind the
landslip.
'The settlement!' I cried. 'The coming in of the tide has made the
landslip settle!'
When I sat with closed eyes examining my fiery photograph, I had
calculated the 'settlement' at the return of the tide as being among
the chances of escape. But feeling myself to be engaged in a duel
with Circumstance (more cruel than the fiends), I believed that the
settlement would come too late for us, or even if it did not come too
late, it might not hide away the spectacle. The settlement had come;
what had it done for us? This I must know at once.
'Untie the rope,' I said; 'quick, untie the rope, there is a
settlement of the landslip.'
'But what has the settlement to do with us?' said Winnie.
'It has to do with us, dear; untie the rope. It has much to do with
us, Winnie,' I said; for now the determination to save her life came
on me stronger than ever.
When the rope was untied, I said, 'Wait till I call,' and I ran round
the corner of the débris. The great upright wall of earth and
sward, from which had stared the body of Wynne, had fallen, hiding
him and his crime together!
To return round the corner of the landslip and call Winifred was the
work of an instant, and, quick as she was in answering my call, by
the time she had reached me I had thrown off my coat and boots.
'Now for a run and a tussle with the waves, Winnie,' I said.
'Then we are not going to die?'
'We are going to live. Run; in six more returns of a wave like that
there will he four feet of water at the Point.'
'Come along, Snap,' said Winifred, and she flew along the sands
without another word.
Ah, she could run!—faster than I could, with my bruised heel! She
was there first.
'Leap in, Winnie,' I cried, 'and struggle towards the Point; it will
save time. I shall he with you in a second.'
Winifred plunged into the tide (Snap following with a bark), and
fought her way so bravely that my fear now was lest she should be out
of her depth before I could reach her, and then, clad as she was, she
would certainly drown. But never tor a moment did her good sense
leave her. When she was nearly waist-high she stopped and turned
round, gazing at me as I tore through the shallow water—gazing with
a wistful, curious look that her face would have worn had we been
playing.
To get round the Point and pull Winifred round was no slight task,
for the water was nearly up to my breast, and a woman's clothing
seems designed for drowning her. Any other woman than Winifred
would have been drowned, and would have drowned me with her. But in
straits of this kind the only safety lies in courage.
'What a night's adventures!' said Winifred, after we had turned the
Point, and were walking through the shallow water towards the
gangway.
We hurried towards the cottage as fast as our wet clothes would
permit. On reaching it we found the door unlocked, and entered.
'Father has again gone to bed,' said Winifred, 'and left no candle
burning for me.'
And without seeing her face, I knew by the tremor of the hand I
clasped that she was listening with shame for the drunken snore that
she would never hear again.
I lighted a match, which with a candle I found on a chair.
'Your father is no doubt sound asleep,' I said; 'you will scarcely
awake him to-night?'
'Oh dear, no,' said Winifred. 'Good-night. You look quite ill. Ever
since you lifted up your head from my breast, when you were thinking
so hard, you have looked quite ill.'
Suddenly I remembered that I must be up and on the sands betimes in
the morning, to see whether the tide had washed away the fallen earth
so as to expose Wynne's body. To prevent Winifred from seeing the
stolen cross was now the one important thing in the world.
I bade her good-night and walked towards home.
She was right: those few minutes of concentrated agony had in truth
made me ill. My wet clothes clinging round my body began to chill me
now, and as I crept into the house and upstairs to my room, my teeth
were chattering like castanets.
As I threw off my wet clothes and turned into bed, I was partially
forewarned by the throbbing at my temples, the rolling fire at the
back of my eyeballs, the thirst in my parched throat, that some kind
of illness, some kind of fever, was upon me. And no wonder, after
such a night!
In that awful trance, when I had sat with my face buried on
Winifred's breast, not only had the physiognomy of the cove, but
every circumstance of our lives together, been photographed in my
brain in one picture of fire. When, after the concentrated agony of
those first moments of tension, I looked up into Winifred's face, as
though awakening from a dream, my flesh had 'appeared,' she told me,
'grey and wizened, like the flesh of an old man.' The mental and
physical effects of this were now gathering around me and upon me.
From a painful slumber I awoke in about an hour with red-heat at my
brain and with a sickening dread at my heart. 'It is fever,' thought
I; 'I am going to be ill; and what is there to do in the morning at
the ebb of the tide before Winifred can go upon the sands? I ought
not to have come home at all,' I said. 'Suppose illness were to
seize me and prevent my getting there?' The dreadful thought alone
paralysed me quite. Under it I lay as under a nightmare. I scarcely
dared try to get out of bed, lest I should find my fears
well-grounded. At last, cautiously and timorously, I put one leg out
of bed and then the other, till at length I felt the little ridges of
the carpet; but my knees gave way, my head swam, my stomach heaved
with a deadly nausea, and I fell like a log on the floor.
As I lay there I knew that I was indeed in the grasp of fever. I
nearly went crazed from terror at the thought that in a few minutes I
should perhaps lapse into unconsciousness and be unable to
rise—unable to reach the sands in the morning and seek for Wynne's
body—unable even to send some one there as a substitute to perform
that task. But then whom was I to send? whom could I entrust with
such a commission? I was under a pledge to my dead father never to
divulge the secret of the amulet save to my mother and uncle. And
besides, if I would effectually save Winifred from the harm I
dreaded, the hideous sacrilege committed by her father must be kept a
secret from servants and townspeople. Whom then could I send on this
errand? At the present moment, there were but four people in the
world who knew that the cross and casket had been placed in the
coffin—my mother, my uncle, myself, and now, alas! Winifred. My
mother was the one person who could do what I wanted done. Her
sagacity I knew; her courage I knew. But how could I—how dare I,
broach such a matter to her? I felt it would be sheer madness to do
so, and yet, in my dire strait, in my terror at the illness I was
fighting with, I did it, as I am going to tell.
By this time the noise of my fall had brought up the servants. They
lifted me into bed and proposed fetching our medical man. But I
forbade them to do so, and said, 'I want to speak to my mother.'
'She is herself unwell, sir,' said the man to whom I spoke.
'I know,' I replied. 'Call her maid and tell her that my business
with my mother is very important, or I would not have dreamed of
disturbing her; but see her I must.'
The man looked dubious, but observing my wet clothes on a chair he
seemed to think that something had happened, and went to do my
bidding.
In a very short time my mother entered the room. I felt that my
moments of consciousness were brief, and began my story as soon as we
were alone. I told her how the sudden dread that Wynne would steal
the amulet had come upon me; I told her how I had run down to the
churchyard and discovered the landslip; I told her how, on seeing the
landslip, I had descended the gangway and found the body of Wynne,
the amulet, the casket, and the written curse. But I did not tell her
that I had met Winifred on the sands. Excited as I was, I had the
presence of mind not to tell her that.
As I proceeded with my narrative, with my mother sitting by my
bedside, a look of horror, then a look of loathing, then a look of
scorn, swept over her face. I knew that the horror was of the
sacrilege. I knew that the loathing and the haughty scorn expressed
her feeling towards the despoiler—the father of her whose cause I
might have to plead; and I began to wish from the bottom of my heart
that I had not taken her into my confidence. When I got to the
finding of Tom's body, and the look of terror stamped upon his face,
a new expression broke over hers—an expression of triumphant hate
that was fearful.
'Thank God at least for that!' she said. Then she murmured, 'But that
does not atone.'
Ah! how I regretted now that I had consulted her on a subject where
her proud imperious nature must be so deeply disturbed. But it was
too late to retreat.
'Henry,' she said, 'this is a shocking story you tell me. After
losing my husband this is the worst that could have happened to
me—the violation of his sacred tomb. Had I only hearkened to my own
misgiving about the miscreant! Yet I wonder you did not wait till the
morning before telling me.'
'Wait till the morning?' I said, forgetting that she did not know
what was at my heart.
'Doubtless the matter is important, Henry,' said she. 'Still, the
mischief is done, the hideous crime has been committed, and the news
of it could have waited till morning.'
'But, mother, unless my father's words are idle breath, it is
important, most important, that the amulet should again be buried
with him. I meant to go to the sands in the morning and wait for the
ebbing tide—I meant to take the cross from the breast of the dead
man, and to replace it in my father's coffin. That, mother, was what
I meant to do. But I am too ill to move; I feel that in an hour or
so, or in a few minutes, I shall be delirious. And then, mother! Oh,
then!—'My mother looked astonished at my vehemence upon the
subject.
'Henry,' she said, 'I had no idea that you felt such an interest in
the matter; I have certainly misjudged your character entirely. And
now, what do you want me to do?'
'Nobody,' I said, 'must know of the cross but ourselves. I want you,
mother, to do what I cannot do: I want you to go on the sands and
wait for the turn of the tide; I want you to take the cross from
Wynne's breast, if the body should be exposed, and secure it in
secret till it can be replaced in the coffin.'
'I do this, Henry?' said my mother, with a look of bewilderment at
my earnestness. 'Yet there is reason in what you say, and grievous as
the task would be for me, I must consider it.'
'But will you engage to do it, mother?'
'Really, Henry, you forget yourself,—you forget your mother too. For
me to go down to the sands and watch the ebbing of the tide, and then
defile myself by touching the body of this wretch, is a task I
naturally shrink from. Still if, on thinking it over, I find it my
duty to do it, it will not be needful for me to enter into a compact
with my son that my duty to my dead husband shall be performed.
Good-night. I quite think you will be better in the morning. I see no
signs myself of the fever you seem to dread, and, alas! I am not, as
you know, ignorant of the way in which a fever begins.'
She was going out of the room when I exclaimed, in sheer desperation,
'Mother, I have something else to say to you. You remember the little
girl, the little blue-eyed girl, Wynne's daughter, who came here
once, and you were so kind to her, so gracious and so kind'; and I
seized her hand and covered it with kisses, for I was beside myself
with alarm lest my one hope should go.'
The sudden little laugh of bitter scorn that came from my mother's
lips, the sudden spasm that shook her frame, the sudden shadow as of
night that swept across her features, should at once have hushed my
confession. But I went on: my tongue would not stop now: I felt that
my eloquence, the eloquence of Winifred's danger, must conquer, must
soften even the hard pride of her race.
'And she has never forgotten your graciousness to her, mother.'
'Well?' said my mother, in a tone whose velvet softness withered me.
'Well, mother, she is in all things the very opposite of her father.
This very night she told me'—and I was actually on the verge of
repeating poor Winifred's prattle about her resembling her mother,
and not her father (for already my brain had succumbed to the force
of the oncoming fever, and the catastrophe I was dreading made of me
a frank and confiding child).
'Well?' said my mother, in a voice softer and more velvety still.
'What did she tell you?'
That tone ought to have convinced me of the folly, the worse than
folly, of saying another word to her.
'But I can conquer her,' I thought; 'I can conquer her yet. When she
comes to know all the piteousness of Winifred's case, she must
yield.'
'Yes, mother,' I cried, 'she is in all things the very opposite of
Tom. She has such a horror of sacrilege; she has such a dread of a
crime and a curse like this; she has such a superstitious belief in
the power of a dead man's curse to cling to the delinquent's
offspring, that, if she knew of what her father had done, she would
go mad—raving mad, mother—she would indeed!' And I fell hack on the
pillow exhausted.
'Well, Henry, and is this what you summoned me from my bed to tell
me—that Wynne's daughter will most likely object to share the
consequences of her father's crime? A very natural objection, and I
am really sorry for her; but further than that I have certainly no
affair with her.'
'But, mother, the body of her father lies beneath the débris on the
shore; the ebbing tide may leave it exposed, and the poor girl,
missing her father in the morning, will seek him perhaps on the shore
and find him—find him with the proof of his crime on his breast, and
know that she inherits the curse—my father's curse! Oh, think of
that, mother—think of it. And you only can prevent it.'
For a few moments there was intense silence in the room. I saw that
my mother was reflecting. At last she said:
'You say that Wynne's daughter told you something to-night. Where did
you see her?'
'On the sands.'
'At what hour?'
'At—at—at—about eleven, or twelve, or one o'clock.'
I felt that I was getting into a net, but was too ill to know what I
was doing. My mother paused for awhile; I waited as the prisoner
tried for his life waits when the jury have retired to consult. I
clutched the bedclothes to stay the trembling of my limbs. On a chair
by my bedside was my watch, which had been stopped by the sea-water.
I saw her take it up mechanically, look at it, and lay it down again.
In the agony of my suspense I yet observed her smallest movement.
'And in what capacity am I to undertake this expedition?' said she at
length, in the same quiet tone, that soul-quelling tone she always
adopted when her passion was at white-heat. 'Is it in the capacity of
your father's wife executing his wishes about the amulet? Or is it as
the friend, protectress, and guardian of Miss Wynne?'
She sat down again by my bedside, and communed with
herself—sometimes fixing an abstracted gaze upon me, sometimes
looking across me at the very spot where in the shadow beside my bed
I bad seemed to see the words of the Psalmist's curse written in
letters of fire. At last she said quietly, 'Henry, I will undertake
this commission of yours.'
'Dear mother!' I exclaimed in my delight. 'I will undertake it,'
pursued my mother in the same quiet tone, 'on one condition.'
'Any condition in the world, mother. There is nothing I will not do,
nothing I will not sacrifice or suffer, if you will only aid me in
saving this poor girl. Name your condition, mother; you can name
nothing I will not comply with.'
'I am not so sure of that, Henry. Let me be quite frank with you. I
do not wish to entrap you into making an engagement you cannot keep.
You have corroborated to-night what I half suspected when I saw you
talking to the girl in the churchyard; there is a very vigorous
flirtation going on between you and this wretched man's daughter.'
'Flirtation? 'I said, and the incongruity of the word as applied to
such a passion as mine did not vex or wound me; it made me smile.
'Well, for her sake, I hope it is nothing more,' said my mother. 'In
view of the impassable gulf between her and you, I do for her sake
sincerely hope that it is nothing more than a flirtation.'
'Pardon me, mother,' I said, 'it was the word "flirtation" that made
me smile.'
'We will not haggle about words, Henry; give it what name may please
you, it is all the same to me. But flirtations of this kind will
sometimes grow serious, as the case of Percy Aylwin and the Gypsy
girl shows. Now, Henry, I do not accuse you of entertaining the mad
idea of really marrying this girl, though such things, as you know,
have been in our family. But you are my only son, and I do love you,
Henry, whatever may be your opinion on that point; and, because I
love you, I would rather, far rather, be a lonely, childless woman in
the world, I would far rather see you dead on this floor, than see
you marry Winifred Wynne.'
'Ah! mother, the cruelty of this family pride has always been the
curse of the Aylwins.'
'It seems cruel to you now, because you are a boy, a generous boy.
You think it the romantic, poetic thing to elevate a low girl to your
own station—perhaps even to show your superiority to conventions by
marrying the daughter of the miscreant who has desecrated your own
father's tomb. But, Henry, I know the race to which you and I belong.
In five years' time—in three years, or perhaps in two—you will
thank me for this; you will say: "My mother's love was not cruel, but
wise."'
'Oh, mother!' I said, 'any condition but that.'
'I see that you know what my condition is before I utter it. If you
will give me your word—and the word of an Aylwin is an oath—if you
will give me your word that you will never marry Winifred Wynne, I
will do as you desire. I will myself go upon the sands in the
morning, and if the body has been exposed by the tide I will secure
the evidence of her father's guilt, in order to save the girl from
the suffering which the knowledge of that guilt would cause her, as
you suppose.'
'As I suppose!'
'Again I say, Henry, we will not quarrel about words.'
I turned sick with despair.
'And on no other terms, mother?'
'On no other terms,' said she.
'Oh, mercy, mother! mercy! you know not what you do. I could not live
without her; I should die without her.'
'Better die then!' exclaimed my mother, with an expression of
ineffable scorn, and losing for the first time her self-possession;
'better die than marry like that.'
'She is my very life now, mother.'
'Have I not said you had better die then? On no other terms will I go
on those sands. But I tell you frankly what I think about this
matter. I think that you absurdly exaggerate the effect the knowledge
of her father's crime will have upon the girl.'
'No, no; I do not. Mercy, dear mother, mercy! I am your only child.'
'That is the very reason why you, who may some day be the heir of one
of the first houses in England, must never marry Winifred Wynne.'
'But I don't want to be heir of the Aylwins; I don't want my uncle's
property,' I retorted. 'Nor do I want the other bauble prizes of the
Aylwins.'
'Providence has taken Frank, and says you must stand where you
stand,' replied my mother solemnly. 'You may even some day, should
Cyril be childless, succeed to the earldom, and then what an alliance
would this be!'
'Earldom! I'd not have it. I'd trample on the coronet. Gingerbread!
I'd trample it in the mud, if it were to sever me from Winifred.'
'You must succeed to it should Cyril Aylwin, who seems disinclined to
marry, die childless,' said my mother quietly; 'and by that time you
may perhaps have reached man's estate.'
'Pity, mother, pity!' I cried in despair, as I looked at the strong
woman who bore me.
'Pity upon whom? Have pity upon me, and upon the family you now
represent. As to all the fearful effects that the knowledge of this
sacrilege will have upon the girl, that is a subject upon which you
must allow me to have my own opinion. God tempers the wind to the
shorn lamb, and provides thick skins for the canaille. What will
concern her chiefly, perhaps entirely, will be the loss of her
father, and she will soon know of that, whether she finds the body on
the sands or not. This kind of person is not nearly so sensitive as
my romantic Henry supposes. However, my condition will not be
departed from. If you consent to give up this girl I will go on the
sands; I will defile my fingers; I will secure the stolen amulet at
the ebb of the tide, should the corpse become exposed. If you will
not consent to give her up, there is an end of the matter, and
words are being wasted between us.'
'Give up Winifred, mother? That is not possible.'
'Then there is no more to be said. We will not waste our time in
discussing impossibilities. And I am really so depressed and unwell
that I must return to my room. I hope to hear you are better in the
morning, and I think you will be. The excitement of this night and
your anxiety about the girl have unstrung your nerves, and you have
lost that courage and endurance which are yours by birthright.'
And she left the room.
But she had no sooner gone than there came before my eyes the
insupportable picture of a slim figure walking along the sands
stooping to look at some object among the débris, standing aghast
at the sight of her dead father with the evidence of his hideous
crime on his own breast; there came the sound of a cry to 'Henry' for
help! I beat my head against the bedstead till I was nearly stunned.
I yelled and bellowed like a maniac: 'Mother, come back!'
When she returned to my bedside my eyes were glaring so that my
mother stood appalled, and (as she afterwards owned to me) was nearly
yielding her point.
'Mother,' I said,'I consent to your condition: I will give her
up—but oh, save her! Let there be no dallying, let there be no risk,
mother. Let nothing prevent your going upon the sands in the
morning—early, quite early—and every morning at the ebbing of the
tide.'
'I will keep my word,' she said.
'You will use the fullest and best means to save her?'
'I will keep my word,' she said, and left the room.
'I have saved her!' I cried over and over again, as I sank back on my
pillow. Then the delirium of fever came upon me, and I lay tossing as
upon a sea of fire.
Weak in body and in mind as an infant, I woke again to consciousness.
Through the open window the sunlight, with that tender golden-yellow
tone which comes with morning in England, was pouring between the
curtains, and illuminating the white counterpane. Then a soft breeze
came and slightly moved the curtains, and sent the light and shadows
about the bed and the opposite wall—a breeze laden with the scent I
always associated with Wynne's cottage, the scent of geraniums. I
raised myself on my elbows, and gazed over the geraniums on the
window-sill at the blue sky, which was as free of clouds as though it
were an Italian one, save that a little feathery cloud of a palish
gold was slowly moving towards the west.
'It is shaped like a hand,' I said dreamily, and then came the
picture of Winifred in the churchyard singing, and pointing to just
such a golden cloud, and then came the picture of Tom Wynne reeling
towards us from the church porch, and then came everything in
connection with him and with her; everything down to the very
last words which I had spoken about her to my mother before
unconsciousness had come upon me. But what I did not know—what I
was now burning to know without delay—was what time had passed since
then.
I called out 'Mother!' A nurse, who was sitting in the room, but
hidden from me by a large carved and corniced oak wardrobe, sprang up
and told me that she would go and fetch my mother.
'Mother,' I said, when she entered the room, 'you've been?'
'Yes,' said she, taking a seat by my bedside, and motioning the nurse
to leave us.
'And you were in time, mother!'
'More than in time,' said she. 'There was nothing to do. I have
realised, however, that your extraordinary and horrible story was
true. It was not a fever-dream. The tomb has been desecrated.'
'But, mother, you went as you promised to the sands in Church Cove,
and you waited for the ebb of the tide?'
'I did.'
'And you found—'
'Nothing; no corpse exposed.'
'And you went again the next day?'
'I did.'
'And you found—'
'Nothing.'
'But how many days have passed, mother? How many days have I been
lying here?'
'Seven.'
'And no sign of—of the body was to be seen?'
'None. The wretch must have been buried for ever beneath the great
mass of the fallen cliff. I went no more.'
'Oh, mother, you should have gone every day. Think of the frightful
risk, mother. On the very day after you ceased your visits the body
might have been turned up by the tide, and she might have gone and
seen it.'
The picture was too terrible. I fell back exhausted. I revived,
however, in a somewhat calmer mood. When my mother came into the room
again, I returned at once to the subject. I reproached her bitterly
for not having gone every day. She listened to my reproaches in
entire calmness.
'It was idle to keep repeating these visits every day,' said she,
'and I consider that I have fully performed my part of the compact. I
expect you to fulfil yours.'
I remained silent, preparing for a deadly struggle with the only
being on earth I had ever really feared.
'I have fully kept my word, Henry,' said she, 'and have done for you
more than my duty to your father's memory warranted me in doing.'
'But, mother, you did not do all that you promised to do; you did not
prevent all risk of Winifred's finding it. She may find it even yet.'
'That is not likely now. I have performed my part of the compact, and
I expect you to perform yours.'
'You did not use all means to save my Winifred from worse than
death—from madness; you did not use all means to save me from dying
of self-murder or of a broken heart; and the compact is broken.
Whether or not I could have kept my faith with you by breaking troth
with her, it is you who have set me free. Mother,' I said, fiercely,
'in such a compact it must be the letter of the bond.'
'Mean subterfuge, unworthy of your descent,' said my mother quietly,
but with one of those looks of hers that used to frighten me once.
'No, no, mother; you have not kept the letter of the bond, and I am
free. You did not take the fullest and best means to save Winifred.
Your compact was to save her from the risk I told you of. And,
mother, mother, listen to me!' I cried, in a state of crazy
excitement now: 'in the darkest moment of my life, when I was
prostrate and helpless, you were pitiless as Pride. Listen, mother:
Winifred Wynne shall be mine. Not all the Aylwins that have ever
eaten of wheat and fattened the worms shall prevent that. She shall
be mine. I say, she shall be mine!'
'The daughter of the man who desecrated my husband's tomb!'
'And my father's! That man's daughter shall be my wife,' I said,
sitting up in bed and looking into those eyes, bright and proud,
which had been wont to make all other eyes blink and quail.
'Cursed by your father, and cursed by God—'
'That curse—for what it may be worth—I take upon my own head; the
curse shall be mine. Even if I believed the threat about the
"desolate places," I would be there; if bare-footed she had to beg
from door to door, rest assured, mother, that an Aylwin would hold
the wallet—would leave the whole Aylwin brood, their rank, their
money, and their stupid, vulgar British pride, to walk beside the
beggar.'
The look on my mother's face would have terrified most people. It
would have terrified me once, but in the frenzy into which I had then
passed, nothing would have made me quail.
'Your services, mother, are no longer needed,' I said. 'Wynne's
corpse might have been washed up by the tide, and your compact was to
be there to see; but now, most likely, it is hidden, not under the
loose fragments as I had feared, but under the great mass of
earth,—hidden for ever.'
'But you forget,' said my mother, 'that the amulet has to be
recovered.'
'Mother,' I said, in the state of wild suspiciousness concerning her
and her motives into which I had now passed, 'I know what your words
imply,—that Winifred is not yet out of danger; the evidence of the
curse and the crime can be dug up.'
'I have no wish to harm the girl, Henry. You mistake me.'
'Then, mother, we must not mistake each other in this matter,' I
said. 'You have alluded to the word of an Aylwin. With me, as with
the best of us, the word of an Aylwin is an oath. Wynne's corpse is
now hidden; the cross is now hidden; I give you the word of an Aylwin
that the man who digs up that corpse I will kill. I will not consider
that he is an irresponsible agent of yours; I will kill him, and his
blood shall be upon the head of her who sends him, knowing, to his
death.'
'And be hanged,' said my mother.
'Perhaps. But after her father's crime has been exposed, the first
thing for me is—to kill!'
'Why, boy, there's murder in your eyes!' said my mother, taken off
her guard.
'Oh, mother, mother, can you not see that no wolf with a stolen lamb
in its mouth was ever more pitilessly shot down by the owner of that
lamb than any hireling wolf of yours would be shot down by me?'
'Boy, are you quite demented?'
'Listen, mother. To prevent Winifred from knowing that her father had
stolen that amulet, and so brought down upon her the curse, I would
have drowned her with myself in the tide. We sat waiting for the tide
to drown us, when the settlement came at the last moment and buried
it away from her. Is it likely that I should hesitate to kill a
clodhopper, or a score, if only to take my vengeance on you and Fate?
The homicide now will be yours.'
She left, giving me a glance of defiance; but before our eyes ended
that conflict, I saw which of us had conquered.
'Hate is strong,' I murmured, as I sank down on my pillow, 'and
destiny is strong; but oh, Winnie, Winnie—stronger than hate, and
stronger than destiny and death, is love. She knows, Winnie, that the
life of the man who should dig up that corpse would not be worth an
hour's purchase; she knows, Winnie, that in the court of conscience
she alone is answerable now for what may befall; and you are safe!
But poor mother! My poor dear mother, whom once I loved so dearly,
was it indeed you I struggled with just now? Mother, mother, was it
you?'
This interview retarded my recovery, and I had a serious relapse.
The fever was a severe one. The symptoms were aggravated by these
most painful and trying interviews with my mother, and by my
increasing anxiety about the fate of Winifred. Yet my vigorous
constitution began to show signs of conquering. Of Winifred I could
learn nothing, save what could be gleaned from the servants in
attendance, who seemed merely to have heard that Tom Wynne was
missing, that he had probably fallen drunk over the cliff and been
washed out to sea, and that his daughter was seeking him everywhere.
As the days passed by, however, and no hint reached me that the
corpse had been found on the sands, I concluded that, when the larger
mass finally settled on the night of the landslip, the corpse had
fallen immediately beneath it, and was buried under the main mass.
Yet, from what I had seen of the corpse's position, in the rapid view
I had of it, perched on the upright mass of sward, I did not
understand how this could be.
And so anxiety after anxiety delayed my progress. Still, on the
whole, I felt that the body would not now be dislodged by the tides,
and that Winifred would at least be spared a misery compared with
which even her uncertainty about her father's fate would be bearable.
But how I longed to be up and with her!
Dr. Mivart, who attended me, a young medical man of much ability who
had finished his medical education in Paris, and had lately settled
at Raxton, came every day with great punctuality.
One day, however, he arrived three hours behind his usual time, and
seemed to think that some explanation was necessary.
'I must apologise,' said he, 'for my unpunctuality to-day, but the
fact is that, at the very moment of starting, I was delayed by one of
the most interesting—one of the most extraordinary cases that ever
came within my experience, even at the Salpêtrière Hospital, where we
were familiar with the most marvellous cases of hysteria—a seizure
brought on by terror in which the subject's countenance mimics the
appearance of the terrible object that has caused it. A truly
wonderful case! I have just written to Marini about it.'
He seemed so much interested in his case, that he aroused a certain
interest in me, though at that time the word 'hysteria' conveyed an
impression to me of a very uncertain and misty kind.
'Where did it occur?' I asked.
'Here, in your own town,' said Mivart. 'A most extraordinary case. My
report will delight Marini, our great authority, as you no doubt are
aware, on catalepsy and cataleptic ecstasy.'
'Strange that I have heard nothing of it!' I said.
'Oh!' replied Mivart, 'it occurred only this morning. Some fishermen
passing below the old church were attracted, first by a shriek of a
peculiarly frightful and unearthly kind, and then by some unusual
appearance on the sands, at the spot where the last landslip took
place.'
My pulses stopped in a moment, and I clung to the back of my chair.
'What—did—the fishermen see?' I gasped.
'The men landed,' continued Mivart,—too much interested in the case
to observe my emotion,—'and there they found a dead body—the body
of the missing organist here, who had apparently fallen with the
landslip. The face was horribly distorted by terror, the skull
shattered, and around the neck was slung a valuable cross made of
precious stones. But the most interesting feature of the case is
this, that in front of the body, in a fit of a remarkable kind,
squatted his daughter—you may have seen her, an exceedingly pretty
girl lately come from Wales or somewhere—and on her face was
reflected and mimicked, in the most astonishing way, the horrible
expression on the face of the corpse, while the fingers of her right
hand were so closely locked around the cross—'
I felt that from my mouth there issued a voice not mine—a long
smothered shriek like that which had seemed to issue from my mouth on
that awful night when, looking out of the window, I had heard the
noise of the landslip. Then I felt myself whispering 'The Curse!'
Then I knew no more.
I had another dangerous relapse, and was delirious for two days, I
think. When I came to myself, the first words I uttered to Mivart,
whom I found with me, were inquiries about Winifred. He was loth at
first to revive the subject, though he supposed that the effect of
his narrative upon me had arisen partly from my weakness and partly
from what he called his 'sensational way' of telling the story. (My
mother had been very careful to drop no hint of the true state of the
case.) At last, however, Mivart told me all he knew about Winifred,
while I hid my face in my pillow and listened.
'In the seizures (which are recurrent) the girl,' he said, 'mimics
the expression of terror on her father's face. Between the paroxysms
she lapses into a strange kind of dementia. It is as though her own
mind had fled and the body had been entered by the soul of a child.
She will then sing snatches of songs, sometimes in Welsh and
sometimes in English, but with the strange, weird intonation of a
person in a dream. I have known something like this to take place
before, but it has been in seizures of an epileptic kind, very unlike
this case in their general characteristics. The mental processes seem
to have been completely arrested by the shock, as the wheels of a
watch or a musical box are stopped if it falls.'
He could tell me nothing about her, he said, nor what had become of
her since she had left his hands.
'The parish officer is taking his holiday,' he added. 'I mean to
inquire about her. I wish I could take her to Paris to the
Salpêtrière, where Marini is treating such cases by transmitting
through magnetism the patient's seizure to a healthy subject.'
'Will she recover?'
'Without the Salpêtrière treatment?'
'Will she recover?' I asked, maddened beyond endurance by all this
cold-blooded professional enthusiasm about a case which was simply a
case of life and death to Winnie and me.
'She may, unless the seizures become too frequent for the strength of
the constitution. In that event, of course, she would succumb. She is
entirely harmless, let me tell you.'
He told me that she was at the cottage, where some good soul was
seeing after her.
'I'll get up,' I said, trying to rise.
'Get up!' said the doctor, astonished; 'why do you want to get up?
You are not strong enough to sit in a chair yet.'
This was, alas! but too true, and my great object now was to conceal
my weakness; for I determined to get out as soon as my legs could
carry me, though I should drop down dead on the road.
I gathered from the doctor and the servants that the sacrilege had
now become publicly known, and had caused much excitement. Wynne had
evidently been slightly intoxicated when he committed it, and had
taken no care to conceal the proofs that the grave had been tampered
with. At the inquest the amulet had been identified and claimed by my
mother.
It was some days before I got out, and then I went at once to the
cottage. It was a lovely evening as I walked down Wilderness Road. It
was not till I reached the little garden-gate that I began fully to
feel how weak my illness had left me. The gate was half open, and I
looked over into the garden, which was already forlorn and deserted.
Some instinct told me she was not there. The little flower-beds
looked shaggy, grass-grown, and uncared for. In the centre, among the
geraniums, phlox-beds, and French marigolds, sat a dirty-white hen,
clucking and calling a brood of dirty-white chickens. The
box-bordered gravelled paths, which Wynne, in spite of his
drunkenness, used to keep always so neat, were covered with leaves,
shaken by the wind from the trees surrounding the garden. One of the
dark green shutters was unfastened, and stood out at right-angles
from the wall—a token of desertion. On the diamond panes of the
upper windows, round which the long tendrils of grape-vines were
drooping, the gorgeous sunset was reflected, making the glass gleam
as though a hundred little fires were playing behind it. When I
reached the door, the paint of which seemed far more cracked with the
sun than it had looked a few weeks before, I found on knocking that
the cottage was empty. I did not linger, but went at once into the
town to inquire about her.
In place of giving me the information I was panting for, the whole
town came cackling round me with comments on the organist and the
sacrilege. I turned into the 'Fishing Smack' inn, a likely place to
get what news was to be had, and found the asthmatical old landlord
haranguing some fishermen who were drinking their ale on a settle.
'It's my b'lief,' said the old man, 'that Tom was arter somethink
else besides that air jewelled cross. I'm eighty-five year old come
next Dullingham fair, and I regleck as well as if it wur yisterdy
when resur-rectionin' o' carpuses wur carried on in the old
churchyard jes' like one o'clock, and the carpuses sent up to Lunnon
reg'lar, and it's my 'pinion as that wur part o' Tom's game, dang
'im; and if I'd a 'ad my way arter the crouner's quest, he'd never
a' bin buried in the very churchyard as he went and blast-phemed.'
'Where would you 'a buried 'im, then, Muster Lantoff?' asked a
fisher-boy in a blue worsted jerkin.
'Buried 'im? why, at the cross-ruds, with a hedge-stake through his
guts, to be sure. If there's a penny agin' 'im on that air slate'
(pointing to a slate hung up on the door) 'there must be ten
shillins, dang 'im.'
'You blear-eyed, ignorant old donkey,' I cried, coming suddenly
upon him, 'what do you suppose he could have done with a dead body in
these days? Here's your wretched ten shillings,—for which you'd sell
all the corpses in Raxton churchyard.'
And I gave him half-a-sovereign, feeling, somehow, that I was doing
honour to Winifred.
'Thankee for the money, Mister Hal, anyhow,' said the old creature.
'You was allus a liberal 'un, you was. But as to what Tom could 'a
dun with the carpus, I'm allus heer'd that you may dew anythink
with any-think, if you on'y send it carriage-paid to Lunnon,'
I left the house in anger and disgust. No tidings could I get of
Winifred in Raxton or Graylingham.
By this time I was thoroughly worn out, and obliged to go home. My
anxiety had become nearly insupportable. All night I walked up and
down my bedroom, like a caged animal, cursing Superstition, cursing
Convention, and all the other follies that had combined to destroy
her. It was not till the next day that the true state of the case was
made known to me in the following manner: At the end of the town
lived the widow of Shales, the tailor. Winifred and I had often, in
our childish days, stood and watched old Shales, sitting cross-legged
on a board in the window, at his work, when Winifred would whisper to
me, 'How nice it must be to be a tailor!'
As I passed this shop I now saw that on the same board was sitting a
person in whom Winifred had taken still stronger interest. This was a
diminutive imitation of the deceased, in the person of his
hump-backed son, a little man of about twenty-four, who might, as far
as appearance went, have been any age from twenty to eighty, with a
pale anxious face like his mother's. He was stitching at a coat with,
apparently, the same pair of scissors by his side that used to
delight us two children. Standing by the side of the board, and
looking on with a skilled intelligence shining from her pale eyes,
was Mrs. Shales, with an infant in her arms—a wasted little
grandchild wrapt in a plaid shawl, apparently smoking a chibouque,
but in reality sucking vigorously at the mouthpiece of a baby's
bottle, which it was clasping deftly with its pink little fingers.
Mrs. Shales beckoned me mysteriously into her shop, and then into the
little parlour behind it, where she used to sit and watch the
customers through the green muslin blind of the glass door, like a
spider in its web. Young Shales, who left his board, followed us, and
they then gave me some news that at once decided my course of action.
They told me that one morning, after her frightful shock, Winifred
had encountered Shales, who was taking, a holiday, and employing it
in catching young crabs among the stones. Winifred, who had a great
liking for the hump-backed tailor, had come up to him and talked in a
dazed way. Shales, pitying her condition, had induced her to go home
with him; and then it had occurred to him to go and inquire at the
Hall what suggestion could be made concerning her at a house where
her father had been so well known. He could not see me; I was ill in
bed. He saw my mother, who at once suggested that Winifred should be
taken to Wales, to an aunt with whom, according to Wynne, she had
been living. (No one but myself knew anything of Wynne's affairs, and
my mother, though she had heard of the aunt, had not, as I then
believed, heard of her death.) She proposed that Shales himself
should contrive to take Winifred to Wales. 'She had reasons,' she
said, 'for wishing that Winifred should not be handed over to the
local parish officer.' She offered to pay Shales liberally for going.
I, however, was to know nothing of this. Her object, of course,
was to get Winifred out of my way. The aunt's address was furnished
by a Mr. Lacon of Dullingham, an old friend of Wynne's, who also, it
seems, was ignorant of the aunt's death. This aunt, a sister of
Winifred's mother, named Davies, the widow of a sea captain who had
once known better days, resided in an old cottage between Bettws y
Coed and Capel Curig. Shales had found no difficulty in persuading
Winifred to go with him, for she had now sunk into a condition of
dazed stupor, and was very docile.
They started on their long journey across England by rail, and
everything went well till they got into Wales, when Winifred's stupor
seemed to be broken into by the familiar scenery; her wits became
alive again. Then an idea seemed to seize her that she was pursued by
me, as the messenger bearing my dead father's curse. The appearance
of any young man bearing the remotest resemblance to me frightened
her. At last, before they reached Bettws y Coed, she had escaped, and
was lost among the woods. Shales had made every effort to find her,
but without avail, and was compelled at last, by the demands of his
business, to give up the quest. He had returned on the previous
evening, and my mother had enjoined him not to tell me what had been
done, though she seemed much distressed at hearing that Winnie was
lost, and was about to send others into Wales in order to find her,
if possible. Shales, however, had determined to tell me, as the
matter, he said, lay upon his conscience.
On getting this news I went straight home, ordered a portmanteau to
be packed, and placed in it all my ready cash. Before starting I sat
down to write a letter to my uncle. On hearing of my movements, my
mother came to me in great agitation. In her eyes there was that
haggard expression which I thought I understood. Already she had
begun to feel that she and she alone was responsible for whatsoever
calamities might fall upon the helpless deserted girl she had sent
away. Already she had begun to feel the pangs of that remorse which
afterwards stung her so cruelly that not all Winnie's woes, nor all
mine, were so dire as hers. There are some natures that feel
themselves responsible for all the unforeseen, as well as for all the
foreseen, consequences of their acts. My mother was one of these. I
rose as she entered, offered her a seat, and then sat down again.
She inquired whither I was going.
'To North Wales,' I said.
She stood aghast. But she now understood that grief had made me a
man.
'You are going,' said she, 'after the daughter of the scoundrel who
desecrated your father's tomb?'
'I am going after the young lady whom I intend to marry.'
'Wynne's daughter marry my only son! Never!'
I proceeded with my letter.
'I will write to your uncle Aylwin at once. I will tell him you are
going to marry that miscreant's daughter, and he will disinherit
you.'
'In that case, mother,' I said, rising from the table, 'I need not
trouble myself to finish my letter; for I was writing to him, telling
him the same thing. Still, perhaps I had better send mine too,' I
continued. 'I should like at least to remain on friendly terms with
him, he is so good to me'; and I resumed my seat at the
writing-table.
'Henry,' said my mother, after a second or two, 'I think you had
better not write to your uncle; it might only make matters worse.
You had better leave it to me.'
'Thank you, mother, the letter is finished,' I replied as I sealed it
up, 'and will be sent. Good-bye, dear,' I said, taking her hand and
kissing it. 'You knew not what you did, and I know you did it for the
best.'
'When do you return, Henry?' asked she, in a conquered and sad tone,
that caused me many a pang to remember afterwards.
'That is altogether uncertain,' I answered. 'I go to follow Winifred.
If I find her alive I shall marry her, if she will marry me, unless
permanent insanity prove a barrier. If she is dead'—(I restrained
myself from saying aloud what I said to myself)—'I shall still
follow her.'
'The daughter of the scoundrel!' she murmured, her lips grey with
suppressed passion.
'Mother,' I said, 'let us not part in anger. The sword of Fate is
between us. When I was at school I made a certain vow. The vow was
that I would woo and win but one woman upon earth—the daughter of
the man who has since violated my father's tomb. I have lately made a
second vow, that, until she is found, I shall devote my life to the
quest of Winifred Wynne. If you think that I am likely to be deterred
by fears of being disinherited by your family, open and read my
letter to my uncle. I have there told him whom I intend to marry.'
'Mad, mad boy!' said my mother. 'Society will—'
'You have once or twice before mentioned society, mother. If I find
Winifred Wynne, I shall assuredly marry her, unless prevented by the
one obstacle I have mentioned. If I marry her I shall, if it so
please me and her, take her into society.'
'Into society!' she replied, with ineffable scorn.
'And I shall say to society, "Here is my wife.'"
'And when society asks, "Who is your wife?'"
'I shall reply, "She is the daughter of the drunken organist who
desecrated my father's tomb, though that concerns you not:—her own
speciality, as you see, is that she is the flower of all girlhood."'
'And when society rejects this earthly paragon?'
'Then I shall reject society.'
'Reject society, boy!' said my mother. 'Why, Cyril Aylwin himself,
the bohemian painter who has done his best to cheapen and vulgarise
our name, is not a more reckless, lawless leveller than you. And,
good heavens! to him, and perhaps afterwards to you, will come—the
coronet.'
And she left the room.
WINIFRED'S DUKKERIPEN
I need not describe my journey to North Wales. On reaching Bettws y
Coed I turned into the hotel there—'The Royal Oak'—famished; for,
as fast as trains could carry me, I had travelled right across
England, leaving rest and meals to chance. I found the hotel full of
English painters, whom the fine summer had attracted thither as
usual. The landlord got me a bed in the village. A six-o'clock table
d'hôte was going on when I arrived, and I joined it. Save myself,
the guests were, I think, landscape painters to a man. They had been
sketching in the neighbourhood. I thought I had never met so genial
and good-natured a set of men, and I have since often wondered what
they thought of me, who met such courteous and friendly advances as
they made towards me in a temper that must have seemed to them morose
or churlish and stupid. Before the dinner was over another tourist
entered—a fresh-complexioned young Englishman in spectacles, who,
sitting next to me, did at length, by force of sheer good-humour,
contrive to get into a desultory kind of conversation with me, and,
as far as I remember, he talked well. He was not an artist, I found,
but an amateur geologist and antiquary. His hobby was not like that
fatal antiquarianism of my father's, which had worked so much
mischief, but the harmless quest of flint implements. His talk about
his collection of flints, however, sent my mind off to Flinty Point
and the never-to-be-forgotten flint-built walls of Raxton church.
After dinner, coffee, liquors, and tobacco being introduced into the
dining-room, I got up, intending to roam about outside the hotel till
bedtime; but the rain, I found, was falling in torrents. I was
compelled to return to my friend of the 'flints.' At that moment one
of the artists plunged into a comic song, and by the ecstatic look of
the company I knew that a purgatorial time was before me. I resigned
myself to my fate. Song followed song, until at last even my friend
of the flints struck up the ballad of Little Billee, whose
lugubrious refrain seemed to 'set the table in a roar'; but to me it
will always be associated with sickening heartache.
As soon as the rain ceased I left the hotel and went to the room in
the little town the landlord had engaged for me. There, with the roar
in my ears of the mountain streams (swollen by the rains), I went to
bed and, strange to say, slept.
Next morning I rose early, breakfasted at 'The Royal Oak' as soon as
I could get attended to, and proceeded in the direction in which,
according to what I had gathered from various sources, Mrs. Davies
had lived. This led me through a valley and by the side of a stream,
whose cascades I succeeded, after many efforts, in crossing. After a
while, however, I found that I had taken a wrong track, and was soon
walking in the contrary direction. I will not describe that long
dreary walk in a drenching rain, with nothing but the base of the
mountain visible, all else being lost in clouds and mist.
After blundering through marshy and boggy hillocks for miles, I found
myself at last in the locality indicated to me. Arriving at a
roadside public-house, I entered it, and on inquiry was vexed to find
that I had again been misdirected. I slept there, and in the morning
started again on my quest. I was now a long way off my destination,
but had at least the satisfaction of knowing that I was on the right
road at last. In the afternoon I reached another wayside inn, very
similar to that in which I had slept. I walked up at once to the
landlord (a fat little Englishman who looked like a Welshman, with
black eyes and a head of hair like a black door-mat), and asked him
if he had known Mrs. Davies. He said he had, but seemed anxious to
assure me that he was a Chester man and 'not a Taffy.' She had died,
he told me, not long since. But he had known more of her niece,
Winifred Wynne (or, as most people called her, Winifred Davies); for,
said he, 'she was a queer kind of outdoor creature that everybody
knew.—as fond of the rain and mist as sensible folk are fond of
sunshine.'
'Where did she live?' I inquired.
'You must have passed the very door,' said the man. And then he
indicated a pretty little cottage by the roadside which I had passed,
not far from the lake. Mrs. Davies (he told me) had lived there with
her niece till the aunt died.
'Then you knew Winifred Wynne?' I said. There was to me a romantic
kind of interest about a man who had seen Winifred in Wales.
'Knew her well,' said he. 'She was a Carnarvon gal—tremenjus fond o'
the sea—and a rare pretty gal she was.'
'Pretty gal she is, you might ha' said, Mr. Blyth,' a woman's voice
exclaimed from the settle beneath the window. 'She's about in these
parts at this very moment, though Jim Burton there says it's her
ghose. But do ghoses eat and drink? that's what I want to know.
Besides, if anybody's like to know the difference between Winnie
Wynne and Winnie Wynne's ghose, I should say it's most likely me.'
I turned round. A Gypsy girl, dressed in fine Gypsy costume, very
dark but very handsome, was sitting on a settle drinking from a pot
of ale, and nursing an instrument of the violin kind, which she was
fondling as though it were a baby. She was quite young, not above
eighteen years of age, slender, graceful—remarkably so, even for a
Gypsy girl. Her hair, which was not so much coal-black as blue-black,
was plaited in the old-fashioned Gypsy way, in little plaits that
looked almost as close as plaited straw, and as it was of an
unusually soft and fine texture for a Gypsy, the plaits gave it a
lustre quite unlike that which unguents can give. As she sat there,
one leg thrown over the over, displaying a foot which, even in the
heavy nailed boots, would have put to shame the finest foot of the
finest English lady I have ever seen, I could discern that she was
powerful and tall; her bosom, gently rising and falling beneath the
layers of scarlet and yellow and blue handkerchiefs, which filled up
the space the loose-fitting gown of bright merino left open, was of a
breadth fully worthy of her height. A silk handkerchief of deep
blood-red colour was bound round her head, not in the modern Gypsy
fashion, but more like an Oriental turban. From each ear was
suspended a massive ring of red gold. Round her beautiful, towering,
tanned neck was a thrice-twisted necklace of half-sovereigns and
amber and red coral. She looked me full in the face. Then came a
something in the girl's eyes the like of which I had seen in no
other Gypsy's eyes, though I had known well the Gypsies who used
to camp near Rington Manor, not far from Raxton, for my kinsman
Percy Aylwin, the poet, had lately fallen in love with Winnie's early
friend, Rhona Boswell. It was not exactly an 'uncanny' expression,
yet it suggested a world quite other than this. It was an expression
such as one might expect to see in a 'budding spae-wife,' or in a
Roman Sibyl. And whose expression was it that it now reminded me of?
But the remarkable thing was that this expression was intermittent;
it came and went like the shadows the fleeting clouds cast along the
sunlit grass. Then it was followed by a look of steady self-reliance
and daring. This last variation of expression was what now suddenly
came into her eyes as she said, scrutinising me from head to foot:
'Reia, you make a good git-up for a Romany-chal. Can you rokkra
Romanes? No, I see you can't. I should ha' took you for the right
sort. I should ha' begun the Romany rokkerpen with you, only you
ain't got the Romany glime in your eyes. It's a pity he ain't got the
Romany glime, ain't it, Jim?'
She turned to a young Gypsy fellow who was sitting at the other end
of the settle, drinking also from a pot of ale, and smoking a cutty
pipe.
'Don't ax me about no mumply Gorgio's eyes,' muttered the man,
striking the leather legging of his right leg with a silver-headed
whip he carried. 'You're allus a-takin' intrust in the Gorgios, and
yet you're allus a-makin' believe as you hate 'em.'
'You say Winifred Wynne is back again?' I cried in an eager voice.
'That's jist what I did say, and I ain't deaf, my rei. How she
managed to get back here puzzles me, poor thing, for she's jist for
all the world like Rhona's daddy's daddy, Opi Bozzell, what buried
his wits in his dead wife's coffin. She's even skeared at me.'
'Why, you don't mean to say Winnie's back!' cried the landlord. 'To
think that I shouldn't have heard about Winnie Wynne bein' back. When
did you see her, Sinfi?'
'I see her fust ever so many nights ago. I was comin' down this road,
when what do I see but a gal a-kicking at the door of Mrs. Davies's
emp'y house, and a-sobbin' she was jist fit to break her heart, and I
sez to myself, as I looked at her—"Now, if it was possible for that
'ere gal to be Winifred Wynne, she'd be Winifred Wynne, but as it
ain't possible for her to be Winifred Wynne, it ain't Winifred
Wynne, and any mumply Gorgie [Footnote] as ain't Winifred Wynne may
kick and sob for a blue moon for all me."'
[Footnote: Gorgio, a man who is not a Gypsy. Gorgie, a woman who is
not a Gypsy.]
'But it was Winnie Wynne, I s'pose?' said the landlord, in a state
now of great curiosity.
'It was Winnie Wynne,' replied the Gypsy, handing her companion her
empty beer-pot, and pointing to the landlord as a sign that the man
was to pass it on to him to be refilled. 'Up I goes to her, and I
says, "Why, sister, who's bin a-meddlin' with you? I'll tear the
windpipe out o' anybody wot's been a-meddlin' with you."'
When the girl used the word 'sister' a light broke in upon me.
'Are you Sinfi Lovell?' I cried.
'That jist my name, my rei; but as I said afore, I ain't deaf. Jist
let Jim pass my beer across and don't interrup' me, please.'
'Don't rile her, sir,' whispered the landlord to me; 'she's got the
real witch's eye, and can do you a mischief in a twink, if she likes.
She's a good sort, though, for all that.'
'What are you two a-whisperin' about me?' said the girl in a menacing
tone that seemed to alarm the landlord.
'I was only tellin' the gentleman not to rile you, because you was a
fightin' woman,' said the man.
The Gypsy looked appeased and even gratified at the landlord's
explanation.
'But what did Winnie Wynne do then, Sinfi?' asked the landlord.
'She turns round sharp,' said the Gypsy; 'she looks at me as skeared
as the eyes of a hotchiwitchi [Footnote] as knows he's a-bein'
uncurled for the knife. "Father!" she cries, and away she bolts
like a greyhound; and I know'd at oust as she wur under a cuss. Now,
you see, Mr. Blyth, that upset me, that did, for Winnie Wynne was
the only one on 'em, Gorgio or Gorgie, ever I liked. No offence, Mr.
Blyth, it isn't your fault you was born one; but,' continued the
girl, holding up the foaming tankard and admiring the froth as it
dropped from the rim upon her slender brown hand on its way to the
floor, 'Winnie Wynne was the only one on 'em, Gorgio or Gorgie, ever
I liked, and that upset me, that did, to see that 'ere beautiful
cretur a-grinnin' and jabberin' under a cuss. The Romanies is gittin'
too fond by half o' the Gorgios, and will soon be jist like mumply
Gorgios themselves, speckable and silly; but Gorgio or Gorgie, she
was the only one on 'em ever I liked, was Winnie Wynne; and when she
turned round on me like that, with them kind eyes o' hern (such
kind eyes I never seed afore) lookin' like that at me (and I
know'd she was under a cuss)—I tell you,' she said, still addressing
the beer, 'that it's made me fret ever since—that's what it's done!'
[Footnote: Hedgehog.]
About the truth of this last statement there could be no doubt, for
her face was twitching violently in her efforts to keep down her
emotion.
'And did you follow her?' said the landlord.
'Not I; what was the good?'
'But what did you do, Sinfi?'
'What did I do? Well, don't you mind me comin' here one night and
buyin' a couple of blankets off you, and some bread and meat and
things?'
'In course I do, Sinfi, and you said you wanted them for the vans.'
The Gypsy smiled and said, 'I knowed she was bound to come back, so
I pulls up the window and in I gets, and then opens the door and off
I comes to you, as bein' the nearest neighbour, for the blankets and
things, and I puts 'em in the house, and I leaves the door uncatched,
and I hides myself behind the house, and, sure enough, back she
comes, poor thing! I hears her kick, kick, kickin' at the door, and
then I hears her go in when she finds it give way. So I waits a good
while, till I thinks she's eat some o' the vittles and gone to sleep
maybe, and then round the house I creeps, and in the door I peeps,
and soon I hears her breathin' soft, and then I shuts the door and
goes away to the place.' [Footnote]
[Footnote: Camping-place.]
'But why didn't you tell us all this, Sinfi?' asked the landlord.
'My wife would ha' went and seen arter her, and we wouldn't ha'
touched a farthin' for they blankets and things, not we, Sinfi, not
we.'
'Ah, you would, though,' said the girl, ''cause I'd ha' made you
take it. Winnie Wynne was the only one on 'em, Gorgio or Gorgie, ever
I liked, and nobody's got no right to see arter her only me, and
that's why I'm about here now, if you must know; but nobody's
got no right to see arter her only me, and nobody sha'n't nuther.
They might go and skear her to run up the hills, and she might dash
herself all to flactions in no time.'
'Don't take on so, Sinfi,' said the landlord. 'When they are in that
way they allus turns agin them as they was fond on.'
'Then you noticed as she was fond o' me, Mr. Blyth,' said the girl
with great earnestness.
'Of course she was fond on you, Sinfi; everybody knows that.'
'Yes,' said the girl, now much affected, 'every body knowed it,
every body knowed as she was fond o' me. And to see her look at me
like that—it was a cruel sight, Mr. Blyth, I can tell you. Such a
look you never see'd in all your life, Mr. Blyth.'
'Then I take it she's in the house now?' said the landlord.
'She goes prowlin' about all day among the hills, as if she was
a-lookin' for somebody; and she talks to somebody as she calls the
Tywysog o'r Niwl, an' I know that's Welsh for the "Prince o' the
Mist"; but back she comes at night. She talks to herself a good deal;
and she sings to herself the Welsh gillies what Mrs. Davies larnt her
in a v'ice as seems as if she wur a-singin' in her sleep, but it's
very sweet to hear it. Yesterday I crep' near her when she was
a-sittin' down lookin' at herself in that 'ere llyn where the water's
so clear, "Knockers' Llyn," as they calls it, where her and me and
Rhona Boswell used to go. And I heard her say she was "cussed by
Henry's feyther." And then I heard her talk to somebody agin, as she
called the Prince of the Mist; but it's herself as she's a-talkin'
to all the while.'
'Cursed by Henry's father! What curse could any superstitious mystic
call down upon the head of Winifred? The heaven that would answer a
call of that kind would be a heaven for zanies and tomfools!' I
shouted, in a paroxysm of rage against the entire besotted human
race. 'That for the curse!' I cried, snapping my fingers. 'I am
Henry, and I am come to share the curse, if there is one.'
'Young man,' interposed the landlord, 'such blas-pheémous langige as
that must not be spoke here; I ain't a-goin' to have my good beer
turned to vinegar by blasphemin' them as owns the thunder, I can tell
you.'
But the effect of my words upon the Gypsy was that of a spark in a
powder-mine.
'Henry?' she said, 'Henry? are you the fine rei as she used to talk
about? Are you the fine cripple as she was so fond on? Yes, Beng te
tassa mandi if you ain't Henry his very self.'
'Don't,' remonstrated the landlord, 'don't meddle with the gentleman,
Sinfi. He ain't a cripple, as you can see.'
'Well, cripple or no cripple, he's Henry. I half thought it as soon
as he began askin' about her. Now, my fine Gorgio, what do you and
your fine feyther mean by cussin' Winnie Wynne? You've jist about
broke her heart among ye. If you want to cuss you'd better cuss me;'
and she sprang up in an attitude that showed me at once that she was
a skilled boxer.
The male Gypsy rose and buttoned his coat over his waistcoat. I
thought he was going to attack me. Instead of this, he said to the
landlord:
'She's in for a set-to agin. She's sure to quarrel with me if I
interferes, so I'll just go on to the place and not spile sport.
Don't let her kill the chap, though, Mr. Blyth, if you can anyways
help it. Anyhows, I ain't a-goin' to be called in for witness.'
With that he left the house.
The Gypsy girl looked at me from head to foot, and exclaimed,
'Lucky for you, my fine fellow, that I'm a duke's chavi, an' mustn't
fight, else I'd pretty soon ask you outside and settle this off in no
time. But you'd better keep clear of Mrs. Davies's cottage, I can
tell you. Every stick in that house is mine.'
And, forgetting in her rage to pay her score, she picked up her
strange-looking musical instrument, put it into a bag, and stalked
out.
'She's got a queer temper of her own,' said the landlord; 'but she
ain't a bad sort for all that. She's clever, too: she's the only
woman in Wales, they say, as can play on the crwth now since Mrs.
Davies is dead, what larnt her to do it.'
'The crwth?'
'The old ancient Welsh fiddle what can draw the Sperrits o' Snowdon
when it's played by a vargin. I dessay you've often heard the sayin'
"The sperrits follow the crwth." She makes a sight o' money by
playin' on that fiddle in the houses o' the gentlefolk, and she's as
proud as the very deuce. Ain't a bad sort, though, for all that.'
That I determined to cultivate the acquaintance of Sinfi Lovell I
need scarcely say. But my first purpose was to see the cottage. The
landlord showed me the way to it. He warned me that a storm was
coming on, but I did not let that stay me. Masses of dark clouds were
gathering, and there was every sign of a heavy rainstorm as I went
out along the road in the direction indicated.
There was a damp boisterous wind, that seemed blowing from all points
of the compass at once, and in a minute I was caught in a swirl of
blinding rain. I took no heed of it, however, but hurried along the
lonely road till I reached the cottage, which I knew at once was the
one I sought. It was picturesque, but had a deserted look.
It was not till I stood in front or the door that I began to consider
what I really intended to do in case I found her there. A heedless,
impetuous desire to see her—to get possession of her—had brought me
to Wales. But what was to be my course of action if I found her I had
never given myself time to think.
If I could only clasp her in my arms and tell her I was Henry, I felt
that she must, even in madness, know me and cling to me. I could not
realise that any insanity could estrange her from me if I could only
get near her.
I put my thumb upon the old-fashioned latch, and found that the door
was not locked. It yielded to my touch, and with a throbbing of every
pulse, I pushed it open and looked in.
In front of me rose a staircase, steep and narrow. There was
sufficient evening light to enable me to see up the staircase, and to
distinguish two black bedroom doors, now closed, on the landing. I
stood on the wet threshold till my nerves grew calmer. On my right
and on my left the doors of the two rooms on the ground floor were
open. I could see that the one on my left was stripped of furniture.
I entered the room on my right—a low room of some considerable
length, with heavy beams across the ceiling, which in that light
seemed black. Two or three chairs and a table were in it. There was a
brisk fire, and over it a tea-kettle of the kind much favoured by
Gypsies, as I afterwards learnt. There was no grate, but an open
hearth, exactly like the one in Wynne's cottage, where Winifred and I
used to stand in summer evenings to see the sky, and the stars
twinkling above the great sooty throat of the open chimney. I now
perceived the crwth and bow upon the table. Sinfi Lovell had
evidently been here since we parted. On the walls hung a few of those
highly coloured prints of Scriptural subjects which, at one time,
used to be seen in English farm-houses, and are still the only works
of art with the Welsh peasants and a few well-to-do Welsh Gypsies who
would emulate Gorgio tastes.
On the left-hand side of the room was an arched recess, in which, no
doubt, had stood at one time a sideboard, or some such piece of
furniture. There was no occupant of the room, however, and I grew
calmer as I stood before the fire, which drew from my wet clothes a
cloud of steam. The ruddy fingers of the fire-gleam playing upon the
walls made the colours of the pictures seem bright as the tints of
stained glass. The pathetic message of those flickering rays flowed
into my soul. The red mantle of the Prodigal Son, in which he was
feeding the swine, shone as though it had been soaked in sorrow and
blood-red sin. The house was apparently empty; the tension of my
passion became for the first time relaxed, and I passed into a
strange mood of pathos, dreamy, but yet acute, in which Winifred's
fate, and my mother's harshness, and my father's scarred breast,
seemed all a mingled mystery of reminiscent pain.
I had not stood more than a minute, however, when I was startled into
a very different mood. I thought I heard a sobbing noise, which
seemed to me to come from some one overhead, some one lying upon the
boards of the room above me. I was rooted to the spot where I stood,
for the sob seemed scarcely human, and yet it seemed to be hers. A
new feeling about Winifred's madness came upon me. I recalled
Mivart's horrible description of the mimicry. My God! what was I
about to see? I dared not turn and go upstairs: the fire and the
singing tea-kettle were, at least, companions. But something impelled
me to take the bow and draw it across the crwth-strings. Presently I
thought I heard a door overhead softly open, and this was followed by
the almost inaudible creak of a light footstep descending the stairs.
With paralysed pulses I kept my eyes fixed on the half-open door, in
the certainty of seeing her pass along the little passage leading
from the staircase to the front door. But as I heard the dear
footsteps descend stair after stair my horror left me, and I nearly
began to sob myself. My thoughts now were all for her safety. I
slipped into the recess, fearing to take her by surprise.
Soon the slim girlish figure passed into the room. And as I saw her
glide along I was stunned, as though I had not expected to see her,
as though I had not known the footstep coming down the stairs.
With her eyes fixed on the fireplace, she brushed past me without
perceiving me, took a chair, and sat down in front of the fire, her
elbows resting on her knees, and her face meditatively sunk between
her hands. Her sobbing bad ceased, and unless my ears deceived me,
had given place to an occasional soft happy gurgle of childish
laughter.
I stepped out from the shelter of my archway into the middle of the
room, dubious as to what course to pursue. I thought that, on the
whole, the movement that would startle her least would be to slip
quietly out of the room and out of the house while she was in the
reverie, then knock at the door. She would arouse herself then,
expecting to see some one, and would not be so entirely taken by
surprise at the sight of my face as she would have been at finding
me, without the slightest warning, standing behind her in the room.
I did this: I slipped out at the door and knocked, gently at first,
but got no answer; then a little louder—no answer; then louder and
louder, till at last I thundered at the door in a state of growing
alarm; still no answer.
'She is stone deaf,' I thought; and now I remembered having noticed,
as she brushed past me, a far-off gaze in her eyes, such as some
stone-deaf people show.
I re-entered the house. There she was, sitting immovably before the
fire, in the same reverie. I coughed and hemmed, softly at first,
then more loudly, finally with such vigour that I ran the risk of
damaging my throat, and still there was no movement of that head bent
over the fire and resting in the palms of the hands. At last I made a
step forward, then another, finally finding myself on the knitted
cloth hearthrug beside her. I now had the full view of her profile.
That she should be still unconscious of my presence was
unaccountable, for I stood at the end of the rug gazing at her. Again
I coughed and hemmed, but without producing the smallest effect. Then
I determined to address her; but I thought it would be safer to do so
as a stranger than to announce myself at once as Henry.
'I beg pardon,' I said, 'but is there any one at home?'
No answer.
'Is this the way to Capel Curig?
No answer.
'Will you give me shelter?' I said; and finally I gave a desperate
'halloo.'
My efforts had not produced the slightest effect. I was now in a
state of great agitation. That she was stone deaf seemed evident. But
was she not in some kind of fit, though without the contortions of
face Mivart had described to me—contortions which haunted me as much
as though I had seen them? I stooped down and gazed into her face.
There was now no terror there, nor even sorrow. I could see in her
eyes sparks of pleasure, as in the eyes of an infant when it seems to
see in the air pictures or colours to which our eyes are blind. Round
about her cheek and mouth a little dimple was playing, exactly like
the dimple that plays around the mouth of a pleased child. This
marvellous expression on her face recalled to me what Mivart had said
as to the form her dementia assumed between one paroxysm and another.
'Thank God,' thought I, 'she's not in a fit: she's only deaf.'
Driven to desperation, however, I seized her shoulder and shook it.
This aroused her. She started up with violence, at the same time
overturning the chair upon which she had been sitting. She stared at
me wildly. The danger of what I had done struck me now. A fortunate
inspiration caused me to say, 'Tywysog o'r Niwl.' Then there broke
over her face a sweet smile of childish pleasure. She made a graceful
curtsey, and said, 'You've come at last; I was thinking about you all
the while.'
Shall I ever forget her expression? Her eyes were alive with light
and pleasure. It was as though Winifred's soul had fled or the soul
of her childhood had re-entered and taken possession of her body. But
the witchery of her expression no words can describe. Never had I
seen her so lovely as now. Often when a child I had seen the boatmen
on the sands look at us as we passed—seen them stay in the midst of
their toil, their dull faces brightening with admiration, as though a
bar of unexpected sunlight had fallen across them. In the fields I
had seen labourers, sitting at their simple dinner under the hedges,
stay their meal to look after the child—so winning, dazzling, and
strange was her beauty. And when I had first met her again, a child
no longer, in the churchyard, my memory had accepted her at once as
fulfilling, and more than fulfilling, all her childhood's promise.
But never had she looked so bewitching as now—a poor mad girl who
had lost her wits from terror.
For some time I could only keep murmuring: 'More lovely mad than
sane!'
'As if I didn't know the Prince!' said she. 'You who, in fine
weather or cloudy, wet or dry, are there on the hills to meet me! As
if I don't know the Prince of the Mist when I see him! But how kind
of you to come down here and see poor Winnie, poor lonely Winnie, at
home!'
She fetched a chair, placed it in front of the fire, pointed to it
with the same ravishingly childlike smile, indicating that it was for
me, and then, when she saw me mechanically sit down, picked up her
chair and came and sat close beside me.
In a second she was lost in a reverie as profound as that from which
I had aroused her; and the only sound I heard was the rain on the
window and the fitful gusts of wind playing around the cottage.
The wind having blown open the door, I got up to shut it. Winifred
rose too, and again taking hold of my hand, she looked up into my
face with a smile, and said, 'Don't go; I'm so lonely—poor Winnie's
so lonely.'
As I held her hand in mine, and closed my other hand over it, I
murmured to myself, 'If God will only give her to me like this—mad
like this—I will be content.'
'Dearest,' I said, longing to put my arm round her waist—to kiss her
own passionless lips—but I dared not, lest I might frighten her
away, 'I will not leave you. I will never leave you. You shall never
be lonely any more.'
I closed the door, and we resumed our seats.
Can I put into words what passed within my soul as we two sat by the
fire, she holding my hand in her own—holding it as innocently as a
child holds the hand of its mother? Can I put into words my mingled
feelings of love and pity and wild grief, as I sat looking at her and
murmuring, 'Yes; if God will only give her to me like this, I will
be content'?
'Prince,' said she, 'your eyes look very kind!—Sweet, sweet eyes,'
she continued, looking at me. 'The Prince of the Mist has love-eyes,'
she repeated, as she placed the seats before the fire again.
Then I heard her murmur, 'Love-eyes! love-eyes! Henry's love-eyes!'
Then a terrible change came over her. She sprang up and came and
peered in my face. An indescribable expression of terror overspread
her features, her nostrils expanded, her lips were drawn tightly over
her teeth, her eyes seemed starting from their sockets; her throat
suddenly became fluted like the throat of an aged woman, then veined
with knotted, cruel cords. Then she stood as transfixed, and her face
was mimicking that appalling look on her father's face which I had
seen in the moonlight. With a yell of 'Father!' she leapt from me.
Then she rushed from the house, and I could hear her run by the
window, crying, 'Cursed, cursed, cursed by Henry's father!'
For an instant the movement took away my breath; but I soon recovered
and sprang after her to the door.
There, in the distance, I saw her in the rain, running along the
road. My first impulse was to follow her and run her down. But
luckily I considered the effect this might have in increasing her
terror, and stopped. She was soon out of sight. I wandered about the
road calling her name, and calling on Heaven to have a little pity—a
little mercy.
I decided to return to the house, but found that I had lost my way in
the obscurity and pelting rain. For hours I wandered about, without
the slightest clue as to where I was. I was literally soaked to the
skin. Several times I fell into holes in a morass, and was up to my
hips in moss and mud and water. Then I began to call out for
assistance till I was hoarse. I might as well have called out on an
uninhabited island.
The night wore on, and the darkness grew so intense that I could
scarcely see my hand when I held it up. Every star in the heavens was
hid away as by a thick-pall. The darkness was positively benumbing to
the faculties, and added, if possible, to the misery I was in on
account of Winifred. Suddenly my progress was arrested. I had fallen
violently against something. A human body, a woman! I thrust out my
hand and seized a woman's damp arm.
'Winifred,' I cried, 'it's Henry.'
'I thought as much.' said the voice of the Gypsy girl I had met at
the wayside inn, and she seized me by the throat with a fearful grip.
'You've been to the cottage and skeared her away, and now she's seed
you there she'll never come back; she'll wander about the hills till
she drops down dead, or falls over the brinks.'
'O God!' I cried, as I struggled away from her. 'Winifred! Winifred!
There was silence between us then.
'You seem mighty fond on her, young man,' said the Gypsy at length,
in a softened voice, 'and you don't strike out at me for grabbin'
your throat.'
'Winifred! Winifred!' I said, as I thought of her on the hills on a
night like this.
'You seem mighty fond on her, young man,' repeated the girl's voice
in the darkness.
But I could afford no words for her, so cruelly was misery lacerating
me.
'Reia,' said the Gypsy, 'did I hurt your throat just now? I hope I
didn't; but you see she was the only one of 'em ever I liked, Gorgio
or Gorgie, 'cept Mrs. Davies, lad or wench. I know'd her as a child,
and arterwards, when a fine English lady, as poor as a church-mouse,
tried to spile her, a-makin' her a fine lady too, I thought she'd
forget all about me. But not she. I never once called at Mrs.
Davies's house with my crwth, as she taught me to play on, but out
Winnie would come with her bright eyes an' say, "Oh, I'm so glad!"
She meant she was glad to see me, bless the kind heart on her. An'
when I used to see her on the hills, she'd come runnin' up to me, and
she'd put her little hand in mine, she would, an' chatter away, she
would, as we went up an' up. An' one day, when she heard me callin'
one o' the Romany chies sister, she says, "Is that your sister?" an'
when I says, "No; but the Romany chies call each other sister," then
says she, pretending not to know all about our Romany ways, "Sinfi,
I'm very fond on you, may I call you sister?" An' she had sich
ways; an' she's the only Gorgio or Gorgie, 'cept Mrs. Davies, as I
ever liked, lad or wench.'
The Gypsy's simple words came like a new message of comfort and hope,
but I could not speak.
'Young man,' she continued, 'are you there?' and she put out her hand
to feel for me.
I took hold of the hand. No words passed; none were needed. Never had
I known friendship before. After a short time I said,
'What shall we do, Sinfi?'
'I shall wait a bit, till the stars are out,' said she. 'I know
they're a-comin' out by the feel o' the wind. Then I shall walk up a
path as Winnie knows. The sun'll be up ready for me by the time I get
to the part I wants to go to. You know, young man, I must find her.
She'll never come back to the cottage no more, now she's been skeared
away from it.'
'But I must accompany you,' I said.
'No, no, you mustn't do that,' said the Gypsy; 'she might take fright
and fall and be killed. Besides,' said she, 'Winifred Wynne's under
a cuss; it's bad luck to follow up anybody under a cuss.'
'But you are following her,' I said.
'Ah, but that's different. "Gorgio cuss never touched Romany," as my
mammy, as had the seein' eye, used to say.'
'But,' I exclaimed vehemently, 'I want to be cursed with her. I
have followed her to be cursed with her. I mean to go with you.'
'Young man,' said she, 'are there many o' your sort among the
Gorgios?'
'I don't know and I don't care,' said I.
''Cause,' said she, 'that sayin' o' yourn is a fine sight liker a
Romany chi's nor a Romany chal's. It's the chies as sticks to the
dials, cuss or no cuss. I wish the chals 'ud stick as close to the
chies.'
After much persuasion, however, I induced the Gypsy to let me
accompany her, promising to abide implicitly by her instructions.
Even while we were talking the rain had ceased, and patches of stars
were shining brilliantly. These patches got rapidly larger. Sinfi
Lovell proposed that we should go to the cottage, dry our clothes,
and furnish ourselves with a day's provisions, which she said a
certain cupboard in the cottage would supply, and also with her
crwth, which she appeared to consider essential to the success of the
enterprise.
'She's fond o' the crwth,' she said. 'She allus wanted Mrs. Davies to
larn her to play it, but her aunt never would, 'cause when it's
played by a maid on the hills to the Welsh dukkerin' gillie,
[Footnote 1] the spirits o' Snowdon and the livin' mullos
[Footnote 2] o' them as she's fond on will sometimes come and show
themselves, and she said Winnie wasn't at all the sort o' gal to feel
comfable with spirits moving round her. She larnt me it, though. It's
only when the crwth is played by a maid on the hills that the spirits
can follow it.'
[Footnote 1: Dukkerin gillie, incantation song.]
[Footnote 2: Livin' mullos, wraiths.]
We did as Shift suggested, and afterwards began our search. She
proposed that we should go at once to Knockers' Llyn, where she had
seen Winifred the day before sitting and talking to herself. We
proceeded towards the spot.
The Gypsy girl was as lithe and active as Winifred herself, and
vastly more powerful. I was wasted by illness and fatigue. Along the
rough path we went, while the morning gradually broke over the east.
Great isles and continents of clouds were rolled and swirled from
peak to peak, from crag to crag, across steaming valley and valley;
iron-grey at first, then faintly tinged with rose, which grew warmer
and richer and deeper every moment.
'It's a-goin' to be one of the finest sunrises ever seed,' said the
Gypsy girl. 'Dordi! the Gorgios come to see our sunrises,' she
continued, with the pride of an owner of Snowdon. 'You know this is
the only way to see the hills. You may ride up the Llanberis side in
a go-cart.'
Racked with anxiety as I was. I found it a relief during the ascent
to listen to the Gypsy's talk about Winifred. She gave me a string of
reminiscences about her that enchained, enchanted, and yet harrowed
me. A strong friendship had already sprung up between me and my
companion; and I was led to tell her about the cross and the curse,
the violation of my father's tomb and its disastrous consequences.
She was evidently much awed by the story.
'Well,' said she, when I had stopped to look round, 'it's my belief
as the cuss is a-workin' now, and'll have to spend itself. If it
could ha' spent itself on the feyther as did the mischief, why all
well an' good, but, you see, he's gone, an' left it to spend itself
on his chavi; jist the way with 'em Gorgio feythers an' Romany
daddies. It'll have to spend itself, though, that cuss will, I'm
afeard.'
'But,' I said, 'you don't mean that you think for her father's crime
she'll have to beg her bread in desolate places.'
'I do though, wusser luck,' said the Gypsy solemnly, stopping
suddenly, and standing still as a statue.
'And this,' I ejaculated, 'is the hideous belief of all races in all
times! Monstrous if a lie—more monstrous if true! Anyhow I'll find
her. I'll traverse the earth till I find her. I'll share her lot with
her, whatever it may be, and wherever it may be in the world. If
she's a beggar, I'll beg by her side.'
'Right you are, brother,' said the Gypsy, breaking in
enthusiastically. 'I likes to hear a man say that. You're liker a
Romany chi nor a Romany chal, the more I see of you. What I says to
our people is:—"If the Romany chals would only stick by the Romany
chies as the Romany chies sticks by the Romany chals, where 'ud the
Gorgios be then? Why, the Romanies would be the strongest people on
the arth." But you see, reia, about this cuss—a cuss has to work
itself out, jist for all the world like the bite of a sap.'
[Footnote]
[Footnote: Sap, a snake.]
Then she continued, with great earnestness, looking across the
kindling expanse of hill and valley before us: 'You know, the very
dead things round us,—these here peaks, an' rocks, an' lakes, an'
mountains—ay, an' the woods an' the sun an' the sky above our
heads,—cusses us when we do anythink wrong. You may see it by the
way they looks at you. Of course I mean when you do anythink wrong
accordin' to us Romanies. I don't mean wrong accordin' to the
Gorgios: they're two very different kinds o' wrongs.'
'I don't see the difference,' said I; 'but tell me more about
Winifred.'
'You don't see the difference?' said Sinfi. 'Well then, I do. It's
wrong to tell a lie to a Romany, ain't it? But is it wrong to tell a
lie to a Gorgio? Not a bit of it. And why? 'Cause most Gorgios is
fools and wants lies, an' that gives the poor Romanies a chance. But
this here cuss is a very bad kind 'o cuss. It's a dead man's cuss,
and what's wuss, him as is cussed is dead and out of the way, and so
it has to be worked out in the blood of his child. But when she's
done that, when she's worked it out of her blood, things'll come
right agin if the cross is put back agin on your father's buzzum.'
'When she has done what?' I said.
'Begged her bread in desolate places,' said the Gypsy girl solemnly.
'Then if the cross is put back agin on your feyther's buzzum, I
believe things'll all come right. It's bad the cusser was your
feyther though.'
'But why?' I asked.
'There's nobody can't hurt you and them you're fond on as your own
breed can. As my poor mammy used to say, "For good or for ill you
must dig deep to bury your daddy." But you know, brother, the wust o'
this job is that it's a trúshul as has been stole.'
'A trúshul?'
'What you call a cross. There's nothin' in the world so strong for
cussin' and blessin' as a trúshul, unless the stars shinin' in the
river or the hand in the clouds is as strong. Why, I tell you there's
nothin' a trúshul can't do, whether it's curin' a man as is bit by a
sap, or wipin' the very rainbow out o' the sky by jist layin' two
sticks crossways, or even curin' the cramp in your legs by jist
settin' your shoes crossways; there's nothin' for good or bad a
trúshul can't do if it likes. Hav'n't you never heer'd o' the
dukkeripen o' the trúshul shinin' in the sunset sky when the light
o' the sinkin' sun shoots up behind a bar o' clouds an' makes a kind
o fiery cross? But to go and steal a trushul out of a dead man's
tomb—why, it's no wonder as the Wynnes is cussed, feyther and
child.'
I could not have tolerated this prattle about Gypsy superstitions had
I not observed that through it all the Gypsy was on the qui vive,
looking for the traces of her path that Winifred had unconsciously
left behind her. Had the Gypsy been following the trail with the
silence of an American Indian, she could not have worked more
carefully than she was now working while her tongue went rattling on.
I afterwards found this to be a characteristic of her race, as I
afterwards found that what is called the long sight of the Gypsies
(as displayed in the following of the patrin [Footnote: Trail]) is
not long sight at all, but is the result of a peculiar faculty the
Gypsies have of observing more closely than Gorgios do everything
that meets their eyes in the woods and on the hills and along the
roads. When we reached the spot indicated by the Gypsy as being
Winifred's haunt, the ledge where she was in the habit of coming for
her imaginary interviews with the 'Prince of the Mist,' we did not
stay there, but for a time still followed the path, which from this
point became rougher and rougher, alongside deep precipices and
chasms. Every now and then she would stop on a ledge of rock, and,
without staying her prattle for a moment, stoop down and examine the
earth with eyes that would not have missed the footprint of a rat.
When I saw her pause, as she sometimes would in the midst of her
scrutiny, to gaze inquiringly down some gulf, which then seemed awful
to my inexperienced eyes, but which later on in the day, when I came
to see the tremendous chasms of that side of Snowdon, seemed
insignificant enough, the circulation of my blood would seem to stop,
and then rush again through my body more violently than before. And
while the 'patrin-chase' went on, and the morning grew brighter and
brighter, the Gypsy's lithe, catlike tread never faltered. The rise
and fall of her bosom were as regular and as calm as in the
public-house. Such agility and such staying power in a woman
astonished me. Finding no trace of Winnie, we returned to the little
plateau by Knockers' Llyn.
'This is the place,' said the Gypsy; 'it used to be called in old
times the haunted llyn, because when you sings the Welsh dukkerin
gillie here or plays it on a crwth, the Knockers answers it. I dare
say you've heard o' what the Gorgios call the triple echo o' Llyn
Ddu'r Arddu. Well, it's somethin' like that, only bein' done by the
knocking sperrits, it's grander and don't come 'cept when they hears
the Welsh dukkerin gillie. Now, you must hide yourself somewheres
while I go and touch the crwth in her favourite place. I think she'll
come to that. I wish though I hadn't brought ye,' she continued,
looking at me meditatively; 'you're a little winded a-ready, and we
ain't begun the rough climbing at all. Up to this 'ere pool Winnie
and me and Rhona Boswell used to climb when we was children; it
needed longer legs nor ourn to get farther up, and you're winded
a-ready. If she should come on you suddent, she's liker than not to
run for a mile or more up that path where we've just been and then to
jump down one of them chasms you've just seed. But if she does pop
on ye, don't you try to grab her, whatever you do; leave me alone for
that. You ain't got strength enough to grab a hare; you ought to be
in bed. Besides, she won't be skeared at me. But,' she continued,
turning round to look at the vast circuit of peaks stretching away as
far as the eye could reach, 'we shall have to ketch her to-day
somehow. She'll never go back to the cottage where you went and
skeared her; and if she don't have a fall, she'll run about these
here hills till she drops. We shall have to ketch her to-day somehow.
I'm in hopes she'll come to the sound of my crwth, she's so uncommon
fond on it; and if she don't come in the flesh, p'rhaps her livin'
mullo will come, and that'll show she's alive.'
She placed me in a crevice overlooking the small lake, or pool, which
on the opposite side was enclosed in a gorge, opening only by a cleft
to the east. Then she unburdened herself of a wallet containing the
breakfast, saying, 'When I come back we'll fall to and breakfiss.'
She then, as though she were following the trail, made a circuit of
the pool and disappeared through the gorge. All round the pool there
was a narrow ragged ledge leading to this eastern opening. I stood
concealed in my crevice and looked at the peaks, or rather at the
vast masses of billowy vapours enveloping them, as they sometimes
boiled and sometimes blazed, shaking—when the sun struck one and
then another—from brilliant amethyst to vermilion, shot occasionally
with purple, or gold, or blue.
A radiance now came pouring through the eastern opening down the
gorge or cwm itself, and soon the light vapours floating about the
pool were turned to sailing gauzes, all quivering with different
dyes, as though a rainbow had become torn from the sky and woven into
gossamer hangings and set adrift.
Fatigue was beginning to numb my senses and to conquer my brain. The
acuteness of my mental anguish had consumed itself in its own intense
fires. The idea of Winifred's danger became more remote. The
mist-pageants of the morning seemed somehow to emanate from Winnie.
'No one is worthy to haunt such a scene as this,' I murmured, sinking
against the rock, 'but Winifred—so beautiful of body and pure of
soul. Would that I were indeed her "Prince of the Mist," and that we
could die here together with Sinfi's strains in our ears.'
Then I felt coming over me strange influences which afterwards became
familiar to me—influences which I can only call the spells of
Snowdon. They were far more intense than those strange, sweet, wild,
mesmeric throbs which I used to feel in Graylingham Wood, and which
my ancestress, Fenella Stanley, seems also to have known, but they
were akin to them. Then came the sound of Sinfi's crwth and song, and
in the distance repetitions of it, as though the spirits of Snowdon
were, in very truth, joining in a chorus.
At once a marvellous change came over me. I seemed to be listening to
my ancestress, Fenella Stanley, and not to Sinfi Lovell. I was
hearing that strain which in my childhood I had so often tried to
imagine, and it was conjuring up the morning sylphs of the mountain
air and all the 'flower-sprites' and 'sunshine elves' of Snowdon.
I shook off the spell when the music ceased; then I began to wonder
why the Gypsy did not return. I was now faint and almost famished for
want of food. I opened the Gypsy's wallet. There was the substantial
and tempting breakfast she had brought from the cottage
cupboard—cold beef and bread, and ale. I spread the breakfast on the
ground.
Scarcely had I done so when a figure appeared at the opening of the
gorge and caught the ruddy flood of light. It was Winifred,
bare-headed. I knew it was she, and I waited in breathless suspense,
crouching close up into the crevice, dreading lest she should see me
and be frightened away. She stood in the eastern cleft of the gorge
against the sun for fully half a minute, looking around as a stag
might look that was trying to give the hunters the slip.
'She has seen the Gypsy,' I thought, 'and been scared by her.' Then
she came down and glided along the side of the pool. At first she did
not see me, though she stood opposite and stopped, while the
opalescent vapours from the pool steamed around her, and she shone as
through a glittering veil, her eyes flashing like sapphires. The
palpitation of my heart choked me; I dared not stir, I dared not
speak; the slightest movement or the slightest sound might cause her
to start away. There was she whom I had travelled and toiled to
find—there was she, so close to me, and yet must I let her pass and
perhaps lose her after all—for ever?
Where was the Gypsy girl? I was in an agony of desire to see her or
hear her crwth, and yet her approach might frighten Winifred to her
destruction.
But Winifred, who had now seen me, did not bound away with that
heart-quelling yell of hers which I had dreaded. No, I perceived to
my astonishment that the flash of the eyes was not of alarm, but of
greeting to me—pleasure at seeing me! She came close to the water,
and then I saw a smile on her face through the misty film—a flash of
shining teeth.
'May I come?' she said.
'Yes, Winifred,' I gasped, scarcely knowing what I said in my
surprise and joy.
She came slipping round the pool, and in a few seconds was by my
side. Her clothes were saturated with last night's rain, but though
she looked very cold, she did not shiver, a proof that she had not
lain down on the hills, but had walked about during the whole night.
There was no wildness of the maniac—there was no idiotic stare. But
oh the witchery of the gaze!
If one could imagine the look on the face of a wanderer from the
cloud-palaces of the sylphs, or the gaze in the eyes of a statue
newly animated by the passion of the sculptor who had fashioned it,
or the smile on the face of a wondering Eve just created upon the
earth—any one of these expressions would, perhaps, give the idea
of that on Winifred's face as she stood there.
'May I sit down, Prince?' said she.
'Yes, Winnie,' I replied; 'I've been waiting for you.'
'Been waiting for poor Winnie?' she said, her eyes sparkling anew
with pleasure; and she sat down close by my side, gazing hungrily at
the food—her hands resting on her lap.
I laid my hand upon one of hers; it was so damp and cold that it made
me shudder.
'Why, Winifred,' I said, 'how cold you are!' 'The hills are so
cold!' said she, 'so cold when the stars go out, and the red
streaks begin to come.'
'May I warm your hands in mine, Winnie?' I said, longing to clasp the
dear fingers, but trembling lest anything I might say or do should
bring about a repetition of last night's catastrophe.
'Will you, Prince?' said she. 'How very, very kind!' and in a
moment the hand was between mine.
Remembering that it was through looking into my eyes that she
recognised me in the cottage, I now avoided looking straight into
hers. All this time she kept gazing wistfully at the food spread out
on the ground.
'Are you hungry, Winifred?' I said.
'Oh yes; so hungry!' said she, shaking her head in a sad meditative
way. 'Poor Winifred is so hungry and cold and lonely!'
'Will you breakfast with the Prince of the Mist, Winifred?'
'Oh, may I, Prince?' she asked, her face beaming with delight.
'To be sure you may, Winnie. You may always breakfast with the Prince
of the Mist if you like.'
'Always? Always?' she repeated.
'Yes, Winnie,' I said, as I handed her some bread and meat, which she
devoured ravenously.
'Yes, dear Winnie,' I continued, handing her a foaming horn of
Sinfi's ale, to which she did as full justice as she was doing to the
bread and meat. 'Yes, I want you to breakfast with me and dine with
me always.'
'Do you mean live with you, Prince?' she asked, looking me dreamily
in the face—'live with you behind the white mist? Is this our
wedding breakfast, Prince?'
'Yes, Winnie.'
Then her eyes wandered down over her dress, and she said, 'Ah! how
strange I did not notice my green fairy kirtle before. And I declare
I never felt till this moment the wreath of gold leaves round my
forehead. Do they shine much in the sun?'
'They quite dazzle me, Winnie,' I said, arching my hand above my
eyes, as if to protect them from the glare.
'Do you have a nice fire there when it's very cold?' she said.
'Yes, Winifred,' I said.
She then sank into silence, while I kept plying her with food.
After she had appeased her hunger she sat looking into the pool,
quite unconscious, apparently, of my presence by her side, and lost
in a reverie similar to that which I had seen at the cottage.
The form her dementia had taken was unlike anything that I had ever
conceived. Madness seemed too coarse a word to denote so wonderful
and fascinating a mental derangement. Mivart's comparison to a
musical-box recurred to me, and seemed most apt. She was in a waking
dream. The peril lay in breaking through that dream and bringing her
real life before her. There was a certain cogency of dreamland in all
she said and did. And I found that she sank into silent reverie
simply because she waited, like a person in sleep, for the current of
her thoughts to be directed and dictated by external phenomena. As
she sat there gazing in the pool, her hand gradually warming between
my two hands, I felt that never when sane, never in her most
bewitching moments, had she been so lovable as she was now. This new
kind of spell she exercised over me it would be impossible to
describe. But it sprang from the expression on her face of that
absolute freedom from all self-consciousness which is the great charm
in children, combined with the grace and beauty of her own matchless
girlhood. A desire to embrace her, to crush her to my breast, seized
me like a frenzy.
'Winifred,' I said, 'you are very cold.'
But she was now insensible to sound. I knew from experience now that
I must shake her to bring her back to consciousness, for evidently,
in her fits of reverie, the sounds falling upon her ear were not
conveyed to the brain at all.
I shook her gently, and said, 'The Prince of the Mist.'
She started back to life. My idea had been a happy one. My words had
at once sent her thoughts into the right direction for me.
'Pardon me, Prince,' said she, smiling; 'I had forgotten that you
were here.'
'Winifred, I've warmed this hand, now give me the other.'
She stretched her other hand across her breast and gave it to me.
This brought her entire body close to me, and I said, 'Winnie, you
are cold all over. Won't you let the Prince of the Mist put his arms
round you and warm you?'
'Oh, I should like it so much,' she said. 'But are you warm, Prince?
are you really warm?—your mist is mostly very cold.'
'Quite warm, Winifred,' I said, as with my heart swelling in my
breast, and with eyelids closing over my eyes from very joy, I drew
her softly upon my breast once more.
'Yes—yes,' I murmured, as the tears gushed from my eyes and dropped
upon the soft hair that I was kissing. 'If God will but let me have
her thus! I ask for nothing better than to possess a maniac.'
As we sat locked in each other's arms the head of Sinfi appeared
round the eastern cliff of the gorge where I had first seen Winifred.
The Gypsy had evidently been watching us from there. I perceived
that she was signalling to me that I was not to grasp Winifred. Then
I saw Sinfi suddenly and excitedly point to the sky over the rock
beneath which we sat. I looked up. The upper sky above us was now
clear of morning mist, and right over our heads, Winifred's and mine,
there hung a little morning cloud like a feather of flickering rosy
gold. I looked again towards the corner of jutting rock, but Sinfi's
head had disappeared.
'Dear Prince,' said Winifred, 'how delightfully warm you are! How
kind of you! But are not your arms a little too tight, dear Prince?
Poor Winnie cannot breathe. And this thump, thump, thump, like
a—like a—fire-engine—ah!'
Too late I knew what my folly had done. The turbulent action of my
heart had had a sympathetic effect upon hers. It seemed as if her
senses, if not her mind, had remembered another occasion, when, as
she was lying in my arms, the beating of my heart had disturbed her.
In one lightning-flash her real life and all its tragedy broke
mercilessly in upon her. The idea of the 'Prince of the Mist' fled.
She started up and away from me. The awful mimicry of her father's
expression spread over her face. With a yell of 'Fy Nhad,' and then a
yell of 'Father!' she darted round the pool, and then, bounding up
the rugged path like a chamois, disappeared behind a corner of
jutting rock.
At the same moment the head of the Gypsy girl reappeared round the
eastern cleft of the gorge. Sinfi came quickly up to me and
whispered, 'Don't follow.'
'I will,' I said.
'No, you won't,' said she, seizing my wrist with a grip of iron. 'If
you do she's done for. Do you know where she is running to? A couple
of furlongs up that path there's another that branches off on the
right; it ain't more nor a futt-an'-a-half wide along a precipuss
more nor a hundred futt deep. She knows it well. She'll make for
that. The cuss is on her wuss nor ever, judgin' from the gurn and the
flash of her teeth.'
I waited for two or three seconds in the wildest impatience.
'Let's follow her now,' I said.
'No, no,' she whispered, 'not yet, 'less you want to see her tumble
down the cliff.' After a few minutes Sinfi and I went up the main
pathway. Winnie seemed to have slackened her pace when she was out of
sight, for we saw her just turning away on the right at the point
indicated by Sinfi. 'Give her time to get along that path,' said she,
'and then she'll be all right.'
In a state of agonised suspense I stood there waiting. At last I
said:
'I must go after her. We shall lose her—I know we shall lose her.'
Sinfi demurred a moment, then acceded to my wish, and we went up the
main pathway and peered round the corner of the jutting rock where
Winifred had last been visible. There, along a ragged shelf
bordering a yawning chasm—a shelf that seemed to me scarce wide
enough for a human foot—Winifred was running and balancing herself
as surely as a bird over the abyss.
'Mind she doesn't turn round sharp and see you,' said the Gypsy. 'If
she does she'll lose her head and over she'll fall!'
I crouched and gazed at Winifred as she glided along towards a vast
mountain of vapour that was rolling over the chasm close to her. She
stood and looked into the floating mass for a moment, and then passed
into it and was lost from view.
'Now I can follow her,' said Sinfi; 'but you mustn't try to come
along here. Wait till I come back. I suppose you've given her all the
breakfiss. Give me a drop of brandy out o' your flask.'
I gave her some brandy and took a long draught of the burning liquor
myself, for I was fainting.
'I shall go with you,' I said.
'Dordi,' said the Gypsy, 'how quickly you'd be a-layin' at the bottom
there!' and she pointed down into the gulf at our feet.
'I shall go with you,' I said.
'No, you won't,' said the Gypsy doggedly; ''cause I sha'n't go. I
shall git round and meet her. I know where we shall strike across her
slot. She'll be makin' for Llanberis.'
'I let her escape,' I moaned. 'I had her in my arms once; but you
signalled to me not to grip her.'
'If you had ha' grabbed her,' said the Gypsy, 'she'd ha' pulled you
along like a feather—she's so mad strong. You go hack to the llyn.'
The Gypsy girl passed along the shelf and was soon lost in the veil
of vapour.
I returned to the llyn and threw myself down upon the ground, for my
legs sank under me, but the dizziness of fatigue softened the effect
of my distress. The rocks and peaks were swinging round my head. Soon
I found the Gypsy bending over me.
'I can't find her,' said she. 'We had best make haste and strike
across her path as she makes for Llanberis. I have a notion as she's
sure to do that.'
As fast as we could scramble along those rugged tracks we made our
way to the point where the Gypsy expected that Winifred would pass.
We remained for hours, beating about in all directions in search of
her,—Sinti every now and then touching her crwth with the bow,—but
without any result.
'It's my belief she's gone straight down to Llanberis,' said Sinfi;
'and we'd best lose no time, but go there too.'
We went right to the top of the mountain and rested for a little time
on y Wyddfa, Sinfi taking some bread and cheese and ale in the cabin
there. Then we descended the other side. I had not sense then to
notice the sunset-glories, the peaks of mountains melting into a sky
of rose and light-green, over which a phalanx of fiery clouds was
filing; and yet I see it all now as I write, and I hear what I did
not seem to hear then, the musical chant of a Welsh guide ahead of
us, who was conducting a party of happy tourists to Llanberis.
When we reached the village, we spent hours in making searches and
inquiries, but could find no trace of her. Oh, the appalling thought
of Winifred wandering about all night famishing on the hills! I went
to the inn which Sinfi pointed out to me, while she went in quest of
some Gypsy friends, who, she said, were stopping in the
neighbourhood. She promised to come to me early in the morning, in
order that we might renew our search at break of day.
When I turned into bed after supper I said to myself: 'There will be
no sleep for me this night.' But I was mistaken. So great was my
fatigue that sleep came upon me with a strength that was sudden and
irresistible; when the servant came to call me at sunrise, I felt as
though I had but just gone to bed. It was, no doubt, this sound
sleep, and entire respite from the tension of mind I had undergone,
which saved me from another serious illness.
I found the Gypsy already waiting for me below, preparing for the
labours before her by making a hearty meal on salt beef and ale.
'Reia,' said she, pointing to the beef with her knife, 'we sha'n't
get bite nor sup, 'cept what we carry, either inside or out, for
twelve hours,—perhaps not for twenty-four. Before I give up this
slot there ain't a path, nor a hill, nor a rock, nor a valley, nor a
precipuss as won't feel my fut. Come! set to.'
I took the Gypsy's advice, made as hearty a breakfast as I could, and
we left Llanberis in the light of morning. It was not till we had
reached and passed a place called Gwastadnant Gate that the path
along which we went became really wild and difficult. The Gypsy
seemed to know every inch of the country.
We reached a beautiful lake, where Sinfi stopped, and I began to
question her as to what was to be our route.
'Winnie know'd,' said she, 'some Welsh folk as fish in this 'ere
lake. She might ha' called 'em to mind, poor thing, and come off
here. I'm a-goin' to ask about her.'
Sinfi's inquiries here—her inquiries everywhere that day—ended in
nothing but blank and cruel disappointment.
Remembering that Winifred's very earliest childhood was passed near
Carnarvon, I proposed to the Gypsy that we should go thither at once.
After sleeping again at Llanberis, we went to Carnarvon, but soon
returned to the other side of Snowdon, for at Carnarvon we could find
no trace of her.
'Oh, Sinfi,' I said; as we stood watching the peculiar bright yellow
trout in Lake Ogwen, 'she is starving—starving on the hills—while
millions of people are eating, gorging, wasting food. I shall go
mad!'
Sinfi looked at me mournfully, and said:
'It's a bad job, reia, but if poor Winnie Wynne's a-starvin' it ain't
the fault o' them as happens to ha' got the full belly. There ain't a
Romany in Wales, nor there ain't a Gorgio nuther, as wouldn't give
Winnie a crust, if wonst we could find her.'
'To think of this great, rich world,' I exclaimed (to myself, not to
the Gypsy), 'choke-full of harvest, bursting with grain, while
famishing on the hills for a mouthful is she—the one!'
'Reia,' said Sinfi, with much solemnity, 'the world's full o'
vittles; what's wanted is jist a hand as can put the vittles and the
mouths where they ought to be—cluss togither. That's what the hungry
Romany says when he snares a hare or a rabbit.'
We walked on. After a while Sinfi said: 'A Romany knows more o' these
here kinds o' things, reia, than a Gorgio does. It's my belief as
Winnie Wynne ain't a-starvin' on the hills; she ain't got to starve;
she's on'y got to beg her bread. She'll have to do that, of course;
but beggin' ain't so bad as starvin', after all! There's some as begs
for the love on it. Videy does.'
I knew by this time that it was useless to battle against Sinfi's
conviction that the curse would have to be literally fulfilled, so I
kept silence. While she was speaking I was suddenly struck by a
thought that ought to have come before.
'Sinfi,' I said, 'didn't you know an English lady named Dalrymple,
who lodged with Mrs. Davies for some years?'
'Yis,' said Sinfi, 'and I did think o' her. She went to live at
Carnarvon. But supposin' that Winnie had gone to the English
lady—supposin' that she know'd where to find her—the lady 'ud
never ha' let her go away, she was so fond on her. It was Miss
Dalrymple as sp'ilt Winnie, a-givin' her lady-notions.'
However, I determined to see Miss Dalrymple, and started alone for
Carnarvon at once. By making inquiries at the Carnarvon post-office
I found Miss Dalrymple, a pale-faced, careworn lady of extraordinary
culture, who evinced the greatest affection for Winifred. She had
seen nothing of her, and was much distressed at the fragments of
Winifred's story which I thought it well to give her. When she bade
me good-bye, she said, 'I know something of your family. I know your
mother and aunt. The sweet girl you are seeking is in my judgment one
of the most gifted young women living. Her education, as you may be
aware, she owes mainly to me. But she took to every kind of
intellectual pursuit by instinct. Reared in a poor Welsh cottage as
she was, there is, I believe, almost no place in society that she is
not fitted to fill.'
On leaving Carnarvon I returned to Sinfi Lovell.
But why should I weary the reader by a detailed account of my
wanderings and searchings with my strange guide that day, and the
next, and the next? Why should I burthen him with the mental agonies
I suffered as Sinfi and I, during the following days, explored the
country for miles and miles—right away beyond the Cross Foxes, as
far as Dolgelley and the region of Cader Idris? At last, one evening,
when I and Rhona Boswell and some of her family were walking down
Snowdon towards Llanberis, Sinfi announced her conviction that
Winifred was no longer in the Snowdon region at all, perhaps not even
in Wales at all.
'You mean, I suppose, that she is dead,' I said.
'Dead?' said Sinfi, the mysterious sibylline look returning
immediately to her face, that had just seemed so frank and simple.
'She ain't got to die; she's only got to beg. But I shall ha' to
leave you now. I can't do you no more good. And besides, my daddy's
goin' into the Eastern Counties with the Welsh ponies, and so is
Jasper Bozzell and Rhona. Videy and me are goin' too, in course.'
With deep regret and dismay I felt that I must part from her. How
well I remember that evening. I feel as now I write the delicious
summer breeze of Snowdon blowing on my forehead. The sky, which for
some time had been growing very rich, grew at every moment rarer in
colour, and glassed itself in the llyns which shone with an enjoyment
of the beauty like the magic mirrors of Snowdonian spirits. The
loveliness indeed was so bewitching that one or two of the
Gypsies—a race who are, as I had already noticed, among the few
uncultivated people that show a susceptibility to the beauties of
nature—gave a long sigh of pleasure, and lingered at the llyn of the
triple echo, to see how the soft iridescent opal brightened and
shifted into sapphire and orange, and then into green and gold. As a
small requital of her valuable services I offered her what money I
had about me, and promised to send as much more as she might require
as soon as I reached the hotel at Dolgelley, where at the moment my
portmanteau was lying in the landlord's charge.
'Me take money for tryin' to find my sister, Winnie Wynne?' said
Sinfi, in astonishment more than in anger. 'Seein', reia, as I'd jist
sell everythink I've got to find her, I should like to know how many
gold balansers [sovereigns] 'ud pay me. No, reia, Winnie Wynne ain't
in Wales at all, else I'd never give up this patrin-chase. So fare ye
well;' and she held out her hand, which I grasped, reluctant to let
it go.
'Fare ye well, reia,' she repeated, as she walked swiftly away; 'I
wonder whether we shall ever meet agin.'
'Indeed, I hope so,' I said.
Her sister Videy, who with Rhona Boswell was walking near us, was
present at the parting—a bright-eyed, dark-skinned little girl, a
head shorter than Sinfi. I saw Videy's eyes glisten greedily at sight
of the gold, and, after we had parted, I was not at all surprised,
though I knew her father, Panuel Lovell, a frequenter of Raxton
fairs, to be a man of means, when she came back and said, with a
coquettish smile,
'Give the bright balansers to Lady Sinfi's poor sister, my rei; give
the balansers to the poor Gypsy, my rei.'
Rhona, however, instead of joining Videy in the prayer for
backsheesh, ran down the path in the footsteps of Sinfi.
What money I had about me I was carrying loose in my waistcoat
pocket, and I pulled it out, gold and silver together. I picked
out the sovereigns (five) and gave them to her, retaining
half-a-sovereign and the silver for my use before returning to the
hotel at Dolgelley. Videy took the sovereigns and then pointed, with
a dazzling smile, to the half-sovereign, saying, 'Give Lady Sinfi's
poor sister the posh balanser [half-sovereign], my rei.'
I gave her the half-sovereign,' when she immediately pointed to a
half-crown in my hand, and said, 'Give the poor Gypsy the
posh-courna, my rei.'
So grateful was I to the very name of Lovell, that I was hesitating
whether to do this, when I was suddenly aware of the presence of
Sinfi, who had returned with Rhona. In a moment Videy's wrist was in
a grip I had become familiar with, and the money fell to the ground.
Sinfi pointed to the money and said some words in Romany. Videy
stooped and picked the coins up in evident alarm. Sinfi then said
some more words in Romany, whereupon Videy held out the money to me.
I felt it best to receive it, though Sinfi never once looked at me;
and I could not tell what expression her own honest face wore,
whether of deadly anger or mortal shame. The two sisters walked off
in silence together, while Rhona set up a kind of war-dance behind
them, and the three went down the path.
In a few minutes Sinfi again returned and, pointing in great
excitement to the sunset sky, cried, 'Look, look! The Dukkeripen of
the trúshul.' [Footnote] And indeed, the sunset was now making a
spectacle such as might have aroused a spasm of admiration in the
most prosaic breast. As I looked at it and then turned to look at
Sinfi's noble features, illumined and spiritualised by a light that
seemed more than earthly, a new feeling came upon me as though y
Wyddfa and the clouds were joining in a prophecy of hope.
[Footnote: Cross.]
After losing Sinfi I hired some men to assist me in my search. Day
after day did we continue the quest; but no trace of Winifred could
be found. The universal opinion was that she had taken sudden alarm
at something, lost her foothold, and fallen down a precipice, as so
many unfortunate tourists had done in North Wales. One day I and one
of my men met, on a spur of the Glyder, the tourist of the flint
implements with whom I had conversed at Bettws y Coed. He was alone,
geologising or else searching for flint implements on the hills.
Evidently my haggard appearance startled him. But when he learnt what
was my trouble he became deeply interested. He told me that one day
after our meeting at 'The Royal Oak,' Bettws y Coed, he had met a
wild-looking girl as he was using his geologist's hammer on the
mountains. She was bareheaded, and had taken fright at him, and had
run madly in the direction of the most dangerous chasm on the range;
he had pursued her, hoping to save her from destruction, but lost
sight of her close to the chasm's brink. The expression on his face
told me what his thoughts were as to her fate. He accompanied me to
the chasm. It was indeed a dreadful place. We got to the bottom by a
winding path, and searched till dusk among the rocks and torrents,
finding nothing. But I felt that in wild and ragged pits like those,
covered here and there with rough and shaggy brushwood, and full of
wild cascades and deep pools, a body might well be concealed till
doomsday.
My kind-hearted companion accompanied me for some miles, and did his
best to dispel my gloom by his lively and intelligent talk. We parted
at Pen y Gwryd. I never saw him again. I never knew his name. Should
these lines ever come beneath his eyes he will know that though the
great ocean of human life rolls between his life-vessel and mine, I
have not forgotten how and where once we touched.
But how could I rest? Though Hope herself was laughing my hopes to
scorn, how could I rest? How could I cease to search?
Bitter as it was to wander about the hills teasing my soul by
delusions which other people must fain smile at, it would have been
more bitter still to accept for certainty the intolerable truth that
Winifred had died famished, or that her beloved body was a mangled
corpse at the bottom of a cliff. If the reader does not understand
this, it is because he finds it impossible to understand a sorrow
like mine. I refused to return to Raxton, and took Mrs. Davies's
cottage, which was unoccupied, and lived there throughout the autumn.
Every day, wet or dry, I used to sally out on the Snowdonian range,
just as though she had been lost but yesterday, making inquiries,
bribing the good-natured Welsh people (who needed no bribing) to aid
me in a search which to them must have seemed monomaniacal.
The peasants and farmers all knew me. 'Sut mae dy galon? (How is thy
heart?)' they would say in the beautiful Welsh phrase as I met them.
'How is my heart, indeed!' I would sigh as I went on my way.
Before I went to Wales in search of Winifred I had never set foot in
the Principality. Before I left it there was scarcely a Welshman who
knew more familiarly than I every mile of the Snowdonian country.
Never a trace of Winifred could I find.
At the end of the autumn I left the cottage and removed to Pen y
Gwryd, as a comparatively easy point from which I could reach the
mountain llyn where I had breakfasted with Winifred on that morning.
Afterwards I took up my abode at a fishing-inn, and here I stayed the
winter through—scarcely hoping to find her now, yet chained to
Snowdon. After my labours during the day, scrambling among slippery
boulders and rugged rocks, crossing swollen torrent-beds, amid rain
and ice and snow and mist such as frightened away the Welsh
themselves—after thus wandering, because I could not leave the
region, it was a comfort to me to turn into the low, black-beamed
room of the fishing-inn, with drying hams, flitches of bacon, and
fishing-rods for decorations, and hear the simple-hearted Cymric folk
talking, sometimes in Welsh, sometimes in English, but always with
that kindness and that courtesy which go to make the poetry of Welsh
common life.
Meantime, I had, as I need scarcely say, spared neither trouble nor
expense in advertising for information about Winifred in the Welsh
and the West of England newspapers. I offered rewards for her
discovery, and the result was merely that I was pestered by letters
from people (some of them tourists of education) suggesting traces
and clues of so wild, and often of so fantastic a kind, that I
arrived at the conviction that of all man's faculties his imagination
is the most lawless, and at the same time the most powerful. It was
perfectly inconceivable to me that the writers of some of these
letters were not themselves demented, so wild or so fanciful were the
clues they suggested. Yet. when I came to meet them and talk with
them (as I sometimes did), I found these correspondents to be of the
ordinary prosaic British type. All my efforts were to no purpose.
Among my longer journeys from the fishing-inn, the most frequent were
those to Holywell, near Flint, to the Well of St. Winifred—the
reader need not be told why. He will recollect how little Winnie,
while plying me with strawberries, had sagely recommended the holy
water of this famous well as a 'cure for crutches.' She had actually
brought me some of it in a lemonade bottle when she returned to
Raxton after her first absence, and had insisted on rubbing my ankle
with it. She had, as I afterwards learnt from her father, importuned
and at last induced her aunt (evidently a good-natured and worthy
soul) to take her to visit a friend at Holywell, a journey of many
miles, for the purpose of bringing home with her a bottle of the holy
water. Whenever any ascent of the gangways had proved to be more
successful than usual, Winifred had attributed the good luck to the
virtues contained in her lemonade bottle. Ah! superstition seemed
pretty enough then.
At first in the forlorn hope that memory might have attracted her
thither, and afterwards because there was a fascination for me in the
well on account of its association with her, my pilgrimages to
Holywell were as frequent as those of any of the afflicted devotees
of the olden time, whose crutches left behind testified to the
genuineness of the Saint's pretensions. Into that well Winnie's
innocent young eyes had gazed—gazed in the full belief that the holy
water would cure me—gazed in the full belief that the crimson stains
made by the byssus on the stones were stains left by her
martyr-namesake's blood. Where had she stood when she came and looked
into the well and the rivulet? On what exact spot had rested her
feet—those little rosy feet that on the sea-sands used to flash
through the receding foam as she chased the ebbing billows to amuse
me, while I sat between my crutches in the cove looking on? It was, I
found, possible to gaze in that water till it seemed alive with
her—seemed to hold the reflection of the little face which years ago
peered anxiously into it for the behoof of the crippled child-lover
pining for her at Raxton, and unable to 'get up or down the gangways
without her.'
Holywell grew to have a fascination for me, and in the following
spring I left the fishing-inn beneath Snowdon, and took rooms in this
interesting old town.
One day, near the rivulet that runs from St. Winifred's Well, I
suddenly encountered Sinfi Lovell.
'Sinfi,' I said, 'she's dead, she's surely dead.'
'I tell ye, brother, she ain't got to die!' said Sinfi, as she came
and stood beside me. 'Winnie Wynne's on'y got to beg her bread. She's
alive.'
'Where is she?' I cried. 'Oh, Sinfi, I shall go mad!'
'There you're too fast for me, brother,' said she, 'when you ask me
where she is; but she's alive, and I ain't come quite emp'y-handed
of news about her, brother.'
'Oh, tell me!' said I.
'Well,' said Sinfi, 'I've just met one of our people, Euri Lovell, as
says that, the very mornin' after we seed her on the hills, he met
her close to Carnarvon at break of day.'
'Then she did go to Carnarvon,' I said. 'What a distance for those
dear feet!'
'Euri knowed her by sight,' said Sinfi, 'but didn't know about her
bein' under the cuss, so he jist let her pass, sayin' to hisself,
"She looks jist like a crazy wench this mornin', does Winnie Wynne."
Euri was a-goin' through Carnarvon to Bangor, on to Conway and
Chester, and never heerd a word about her bein' lost till he got
back, six weeks ago.'
'I must go to Carnarvon at once,' said I.
'No use, brother,' said Sinfi. 'If I han't pretty well worked
Carnarvon, it's a pity. I've bin there the last three weeks on the
patrin-chase, and not a patrin could I find. It's my belief as she
never went into Carnarvon town at all, but turned off and went into
Llanbeblig churchyard.'
'Why do you think so, Sinfi?'
''Cause her aunt, bein' a Carnarvon woman, was buried among her own
kin in Llanbeblig churchyard.
Leastwise, you won't find a ghose of a trace on her at Carnarvon, and
it'll be a long kind of a wild-goose chase from here; but if you
will go, go you must.'
She could not dissuade me from starting for Carnarvon at once; and,
as I would go, she seemed to take it as a matter of course that she
must accompany me. Our journey was partly by coach and partly afoot.
My first impulse on nearing Carnarvon was to go—I could not have
said why—to Llanbeblig churchyard.
Among a group of graves of the Davieses we easily found that of
Winifred's aunt, beneath a newly-planted arbutus tree. After looking
at the modest mound for some time, and wondering where Winifred had
stood when the coffin was lowered—as I had wondered where she had
stood at St. Winifred's Well—I roamed about the churchyard with
Sinfi in silence for a time.
At last she said, 'I mind comin' here wonst with Winnie, and I mind
her sayin': "There's no place I should so much like to be buried in
as Llanbeblig churchyard. The graves of them as die unmarried do look
so beautiful."'
'How did she know the graves of those who die unmarried?'
Sinfi looked over the churchyard and waved her hand.
'Wherever you see them beautiful primroses, and them shinin'
snowdrops, and them sweet-smellin' vi'lets, that's allus the grave of
a child or else of a young Gorgie as died a maid; and wherever you
see them laurel trees, and box trees, and 'butus trees, that's the
grave of a pusson as ain't nuther child nor maid, an' the Welsh folk
think nobody else on'y child'n an' maids ain't quite good enough to
be turned into the blessed flowers o' spring.'
'Next to the sea,' I said, 'she loved the flowers of spring.'
'And I should like to be buried here too, brother,' said Sinfi, as
we left the churchyard.
'But a fine strong girl like you, Sinfi, is not very likely to die
unmarried while there are Romany bachelors about.'
'There ain't a-many Romany chals,' she said, 'as du'st marry Sinfi
Lovell, even supposing as Sinfi Lovell 'ud marry them, an' a Gorgio
she'll never marry—an' never can marry. And to lay here aneath the
flowers o 'spring, wi' the Welsh sun a-shinin' on 'em as it's
a-shinin' now, that must be a sweet kind of bed, brother, and for
anythink as I knows on, a Romany chi 'ud make as sweet a bed o'
vi'lets as the beautifullest Gorgie-wench as wur ever bred in
Carnarvon, an' as shinin' a bunch o' snowdrops as ever the Welsh
spring knows how to grow.'
At any other time this extraordinary girl's talk would have
interested me greatly; now, nothing had any interest for me that did
not bear directly upon the fate of Winifred.
Little dreaming how this quiet churchyard had lately been one of the
battle-grounds of that all-conquering power (Destiny, or
Circumstance?) which had governed Winnie's life and mine, I went with
Sinfi into Carnarvon, and made inquiry everywhere, but without the
slightest result. This occupied several days, during which time Sinfi
stayed with some acquaintances encamped near Carnarvon, while I
lodged at a little hotel.
'You don't ask me how you happened to meet me at Holywell, brother,'
said she to me, as we stood looking across the water at Carnarvon
Castle, over whose mighty battlements the moon was fighting with an
army of black, angry clouds, which a wild wind was leading furiously
against her—'you don't ask me how you happened to meet me at
Holywell, nor how long I've been back agin in dear old Wales, nor
what I've been a-doin' on since we parted; but that's nuther here nor
there. I'll tell you what I think about Winnie an' the chances o'
findin' her, brother, and that'll intrust you more.'
'What is it, Sinfi?' I cried, waking up from the reminiscences,
bitter and sweet, the bright moon had conjured up in my mind.
'Well, brother, Winnie, you see, was very fond o' me.'
'She was, and good reason for being fond of you she had.'
'Well, brother, bein' very fond o' me, that made her very fond o'
all Romanies; and though she took agin me at fust, arter the cuss,
as she took agin you because we was her closest friends (that's what
Mr. Blyth said, you know, they allus do), she wouldn't take agin
Romanies in general. No, she'd take to Romanies in general, and she'd
go hangin' about the different camps, and she'd soon be snapped up,
being so comely, and they'd make a lot o' money out on her jist
havin' her with 'em for the "dukkerin'."'
'I don't understand you,' I said.
'Well, you know,' said Sinfi, 'anybody as is under the cuss is half
with the sperrits and half with us, and so can tell the real
"dukkerin'." Only it's bad for a Romany to have another Romany in the
"place" as is under the cuss; but it don't matter a bit about having
a Gorgio among your breed as is under a cuss; for Gorgio cuss can't
never touch Romany.'
'Then you feel quite sure she's not dead, Sinfi?'
'She's jist as live as you an' me somewheres, brother. There's two
things as keeps her alive: there's the cuss, as says she's got to
beg her bread, and there's the dukkeripen o' the Golden Hand on
Snowdon, as says she's got to marry you.'
'But, Sinfi, I mean that, apart from all this superstition of yours,
you have reason to think she's alive? and you think she's with the
Romanies?'
'I know she's alive, and I think she's with the Romanies. She must
be, brother, with the Shaws, or the Lees, or the Stanleys, or the
Boswells, or some on 'em.'
'Then,' said I, 'I'll turn Gypsy; I'll be the second Aylwin to own
allegiance to the blood of Fenella Stanley. I'll scour Great Britain
till I find her.'
'You can jine us if you like, brother. We're goin' all through the
West of England with the gries. You're fond o' fishin' an' shootin',
brother, an' though you're a Gorgio, you can't help bein' a Gorgio,
and you ain't a mumply 'un, as I've said to Jim Burton many's the
time; and if you can't give the left-hand body-blow like me, there
ain't a-many Gorgios nor yit a-many Romanies as knows better nor you
what their fistes wur made for, an' altogether, brother, Beng te
tassa mandi if I shouldn't be right-on proud to see ye jine our
breed. There's a coachmaker down in Chester, and he's got for sale
the beautifullest livin'-waggin in all England. It's shiny
orange-yellow with red window-blinds, an' if there's a colour in any
rainbow as can't be seed in the panels o' the front door, it's a
kind o' rainbow I ain't never seed nowheres. He made it for Jericho
Bozzell, the rich Griengro as so often stays at Raxton and at Gypsy
Dell; but Rhona Bozzell hates a waggin and allus will sleep in a
tent. They do say as the Prince o' Wales wants to buy that
livin'-waggin, only he can't spare the balansers just now—his family
bein' so big an' times bein' so bad. How much money ha' you got? Can
you stan' a hundud an' fifty gold balansers for the waggin besides
the fixins?
'Shift,' I said. 'I'm prepared to spend more than that in seeking
Winnie.'
'Dordi, brother, you must be as rich as my dad, an' lie's the richest
Griengro arter Jericho Bozzell. You an' me'll jist go down to
Chester,' she continued, her eyes sparkling with delight at the
prospect of bargaining for the waggon, 'an' we'll fix up sich a
livin'-waggin as no Romany rei never had afore.'
'Agreed!' I said, wringing her hand.
'An' now you an' me's right pals,' said Sinfi.
We went to Chester, and I became owner of the famous 'livin'-waggin'
coveted (according to Sinfi) by the great personage whom, on account
of his name, she always spoke of as a rich, powerful, but mysterious
and invisible Welshman. One of the monthly cheese-fairs was going on
in the Linen Hall. Among the rows of Welsh carts standing in front of
the 'Old Yacht Inn,' Sinfi introduced me to a 'Griengro' (one of the
Gypsy Locks of Gloucestershire), of whom I bought a bay mare of
extraordinary strength and endurance.
It was, then, to find Winifred that I joined the Gypsies. And yet I
will not deny that affinity with the kinsfolk of my ancestress
Fenella Stanley must have had something to do with this passage in my
eccentric life. That strain of Romany blood which, according to my
mother's theory, had much to do with drawing Percy Aylwin and Rhona
Boswell together, was alive and potent in my own veins.
But I must pause here to say a few words about Sinfi Lovell. Some of
my readers must have already recognised her as a famous character in
bohemian circles. Sinfi's father was a 'Griengro,' that is to say, a
horse-dealer. She was, indeed, none other than that 'Fiddling Sinfi'
who became famous in many parts of England and Wales as a violinist,
and also as the only performer on the old Welsh stringed instrument
called the 'crwth,' or cruth. Most Gypsies are musical, but Sinfi was
a genuine musical genius. Having become, through the good-nature of
Winifred's aunt Mrs. Davies, the possessor of a crwth, and having
been taught by her the unique capabilities of that rarely seen
instrument, she soon learnt the art of fascinating her Welsh patrons
by the strange, wild strains she could draw from it. This obsolete
six-stringed instrument (with two of the strings reaching beyond the
key-board, used as drones and struck by the thumb, the bow only being
used on the other four, and a bridge placed, not at right angles to
the sides of the instrument, but in an oblique direction), though in
some important respects inferior to the violin, is in other respects
superior to it. Heard among the peaks of Snowdon, as I heard them
during our search for Winifred, the notes of the crwth have a
wonderful wildness and pathos. It is supposed to have the power of
drawing the spirits when a maiden sings to its accompaniment a
mysterious old Cymric song or incantation.
Among her own people it was as a seeress, as an adept in the real
dukkering—the dukkering for the Romanies, as distinguished from the
false dukkering, the dukkering for the Gorgios—that Sinfi's fame was
great. She had travelled over nearly all England—wherever, in short,
there were horse-fairs—and was familiar with London, where in the
studios of artists she was in request as a face model of
extraordinary value. Nor were these all the characteristics that
distinguished her from the common herd of Romany chies: she was one
of the few Gypsies of either sex who could speak with equal fluency
both the English and Welsh Romanes, and she was in the habit
sometimes of mixing the two dialects in a most singular way. Though
she had lived much in Wales, and had a passionate love of Snowdon,
she belonged to a famous branch of the Lovells whose haunt had for
ages been in Wales and also the East Midlands, and she had caught
entirely the accent of that district.
Among artists in London, as I afterwards learnt, she often went by
the playful name of 'Lady Sinfi Lovell,' for the following reason:
She was extremely proud, and believed the 'Kaulo Camloes' to
represent the aristocracy not only of the Gypsies, but of the world.
Moreover, she had of late been brought into close contact with a
certain travelling band of Hungarian Gypsy-musicians, who visited
England some time ago. Intercourse with these had fostered her pride
in a curious manner. The musicians are the most intelligent and most
widely-travelled not only of the Hungarian Gypsies, but of all the
Romany race. They are darker than the sátoros czijányok, or tented
Gypsies. The Lovells being the darkest of all the Gypsies of Great
Britain (and the most handsome, hence called Kaulo Camloes), it was
easy to make out an affinity closer than common between the Lovells
and the Hungarian musicians. Sinfi heard much talk among the
Hungarians of the splendours of the early leaders of the continental
Romanies. She was told of Romany kings, dukes, and counts. She
accepted, with that entire faith which characterised her, the stories
of the exploits of Duke Michael, Duke Andreas, Duke Panuel, and the
rest. It only needed a hint from one of her continental friends, that
her father, Panuel Lovell, was probably a descendant of Duke Panuel,
for Sinfi to consider him a Duke. From that moment she felt as
strongly as any Gorgie ever felt the fine sentiment expressed in the
phrase, noblesse oblige; and to hear her say, 'I'm a duke's chavi
[daughter], and mustn't do so and so,' was a delightful and
refreshing experience to me. Poor Panuel groaned under these honours,
for Sinfi insisted now on his dressing in a brown velveteen coat,
scarlet waistcoat with gold coins for buttons, and the high-crowned,
ribbon-bedizened hat which prosperous Gypsies once used to wear. She
seemed to consider that her sister Videy (whose tastes were low for a
Welsh Gypsy) did not belong to the high aristocracy, though born of
the same father and mother. Moreover, 'dook' in Romanes means spirit,
ghost, and very likely Sinfi found some power of association in this
fact; for Videy was a born sceptic.
One of the special charms of Gypsy life is that a man fully admitted
into the Romany brotherhood can be on terms of close intimacy with a
Gypsy girl without awaking the smallest suspicion of love-making or
flirtation; at least it was so in my time.
Under my father's will, a considerable legacy had come to me, and,
after going to London to receive this, I made the circuit of the West
of England with Sinfi's people. No sign whatever of Winifred did I
find in any of the camps. I was for returning to Wales, where my
thoughts always were; but I could not expect Sinfi to leave her
family, so I started thither alone, leaving my waggon in their
charge. Before I reached Wales, however, I met in the eastern part of
Cheshire, not far from Moreton Hall, some English Lees, with whom I
got into talk about the Hungarian musicians, who were here then on
another flying visit to England. Something that dropped from one of
the Lees as to the traditions and superstitions of the Hungarian
Gypsies with regard to people suffering from dementia set me
thinking; and at last I came to the conclusion that if I really
believed Winifred to have taken shelter among the Romanies, it would
be absurd not to follow up a band like these Hungarians. Accordingly
I changed my course, and followed them up. On coming upon them in a
famous English camping-place I found the Lovells and the Boswells.
Rhona, dressed in gorgeous attire, evidently purchased at some
second-hand shop, was rehearsing the shawl-dance for a great occasion
at a neighbouring fair. But no Winifred.
My health was now much impaired by sleeplessness (the inevitable
result of my anxiety), and by a narcotic, which from the commencement
of my troubles I had been in the habit of taking in ever-increasing
doses—a terrible narcotic, one of whose multitudinous effects is
that of sending all the patient's thoughts circling around one
central idea like planets round the sun. Painful and agonising as had
been my suspense,—my oscillation between hope and dread,—during my
wanderings with the Lovells, these wanderings had not been without
their moments of comfort, for all of which I had been indebted to
Sinfi. She would sit with me in an English lane, under a hedge or
tree, on a balmy summer evening, or among the primroses, wild
hyacinths, buttercups and daisies of the sweet meadows, chattering
her reminiscences of Winifred. She would mostly end by saying:
'Winnie was very fond on ye, brother, and we shall find her yit. The
Golden Hand on Snowdon wasn't there for nothink. The dukkeripen says
you'll marry her yit; a love like yourn can follow the tryenest
patrin as ever wur laid.' Then she would play on her crwth and say,
'Ah, brother, I shall be able to make this crwth bring ye a sight o'
Winnie's livin' mullo if she's alive, and there ain't a sperrit of
the hills as wouldn't answer to it.'
Of Gorgios generally, however, Sinfi had at heart a feeling somewhat
akin to dread. I could not understand it.
'Why do you dislike the Gorgios, Sinfi?' I said to her one day on
Lake Ogwen, after the return of the Lovells to Wales. We were
trout-fishing from a boat anchored to a heavy block of granite which
she had fastened to a rope and heaved overboard with a strength that
would have surpassed that of most Englishwomen.
'That's nuther here nor there, brother,' she replied mysteriously. So
months and months dragged by, and brought no trace of Winifred.
THE LEADER OF THE AYLWINIANS
One day as Sinfi and I were strolling through the lovely glades
between Capel Curig and Bettws y Coed, on our way to a fishing-place,
we sat down by a stream to eat some bread and cheese we had brought
with us.
The sunlight, as it broke here and there between the thick foliage,
was playing upon the little cascades in such magical fashion—turning
the water into a torrent that seemed as though molten rubies and
sapphires and opals were ablaze in one dancing faery stream,—that
even the dark tragedy of human life seemed enveloped for a moment in
an atmosphere of poetry and beauty. Sinfi gazed at it silently, then
she said:
'This is the very place where Winnie wonst tried to save a hernshaw
as wur wounded. She wur tryin' to ketch hold on it, as the water wur
carryin' it along, and he pretty nigh beat her to death wi' his wings
for her pains. It wur then as she come an' stayed along o' us for a
bit, an' she got to be as fond o' my crwth as you be's, an' she used
to say that if there wur any music as 'ud draw her sperrit hack to
the airth arter she wur dead it 'ud be the sound o' my crwth; but
there she wur wrong as wrong could be: Romany music couldn't never
touch Gorgio sperrit; 'tain't a bit likely. But it can draw her
livin' mullo [wraith].' And as she spoke she began to play her crwth
pizzicato and to sing the opening bars of the old Welsh incantation
which I had heard on Snowdon on that never-to-be-forgotten morning.
This, as usual, sent my mind at once back to the picture of Fenella
Stanley calling round her by the aid of her music the spirits of
Snowdon. And then a strange hallucination came upon me, that made me
clutch at Sinfi's arm. Close by her, reflected in a little glassy
pool divided off from the current by a ring of stones, two blue eyes
seemed gazing. Then the face and the entire figure of Winifred
appeared, but Winifred dressed as a beggar girl in rags, Winifred
standing at a street corner holding out matches for sale.
'Winifred!' I exclaimed; and then the hallucination passed, and
Sinfi's features were reflected in the water. My exclamation had the
strangest effect upon Sinfi. Her lips, which usually wore a
peculiarly proud and fearless curve, quivered, and were losing the
brilliant rosebud redness which mostly characterised them. The little
blue tattoo rosettes at the corners of her mouth seemed to be growing
more distinct as she gazed in the water through eyes dark and
mysterious as Night's, but, like Night's own eyes, ready, I thought,
to call up the throbbing fires of a million stars.
'What made you cry out "Winifred"?' she said, as the music ceased.
'What you told me about the spirits following the crwth was causing
the strangest dream,' I answered. 'I thought I saw Winnie's face
reflected in the water, and I thought she was in awful distress. And
all the time it was your face.'
'That wur her livin' mullo,' said Sinfi solemnly.
Convinced though I was that the hallucination was the natural result
of Sinfi's harping upon the literal fulfilment of the curse, it
depressed me greatly.
Close to this beautiful spot we came suddenly upon two tourists
sketching. And now occurred one of those surprises of which I have
found that real life is far more full than any fiction dares to be.
As we passed the artists, I heard one call out to the other, with a
'burr' which I will not attempt to render, having never lived in the
'Black Country':
'You have a true eye for composition; what do you think of this
tree?'
The speaker's remarkable appearance attracted my attention.
'Well,' said I to Sinfi, 'that's the first time I ever saw a painter
shaven and dressed in a coat like a Quaker's.'
Sinfi looked across at the speaker through the curling smoke from my
pipe, gave a start of surprise, and then said: 'So you've never seed
him? That's because you're a country Johnny, brother, and don't
know nothink about Londra life. That's a friend o' mine from Londra
as has painted me many's the time.'
'Painted you?' I said; 'the man in black, with the goggle eyes,
squatting there under the white umbrella? What's his name?'
'That's the cel'erated Mr. Wilderspin, an' he's painted me many's the
time, an' a rare rum 'un he is too. Dordi! it makes me laugh to think
on him. Most Gorgios is mad, more or less, but he's the maddest 'un I
ever know'd.'
We had by this time got close to the painter's companion, who,
sitting upright on his camp-stool, was busy with his brush. Without
shifting his head to look at us, or removing his eyes from his work,
he said, in a voice of striking power and volume: 'Nothing but an
imperfect experience of life, Lady Sinfi, could have made you
pronounce our friend there to be the maddest Gorgio living.'
'Dordi!' exclaimed Sinfi, turning sharply round in great
astonishment. 'Fancy seein' both on 'em here!'
'Mad our friend is, no doubt, Lady Sinfi,' said the painter, without
looking round, 'but not so mad as certain illustrious Gorgios I could
name, some of them born legislators and some of them (apparently)
born. R.A.'s.'
'Who should ha' thought of seein' 'em both here?' said Sinfi again.
'That,' said the painter, without even yet turning to look at us or
staying the movement of his brush, 'is a remark I never make in a
little dot of a world like this, Lady Sinfi, where I expect to see
everybody everywhere. But, my dear Romany chi,' he continued, now
turning slowly round, 'in passing your strictures upon the Gorgio
world, you should remember that you belong to a very limited
aristocracy, and that your remarks may probably fall upon ears of an
entirely inferior and Gorgio convolution.'
'No offence, I hope.' said Sinfi.
'Offence in calling the Gorgios mad? Not the smallest, save that you
have distinctly plagiarised from me in your classification of the
Gorgio race.'
His companion called out again. 'Just one moment! Do come and look at
the position of this tree.'
'In a second, Wilderspin, in a second,' said the other. 'An old
friend and myself are in the midst of a discussion.'
'A discussion!' said the person addressed as Wilderspin. 'And with
whom, pray?'
'With Lady Sinfi Lovell,—a discussion as to the exact value of your
own special kind of madness in relation to the tomfooleries of the
Gorgio mind in general.'
'Kekka! kekka!' said Sinfi, 'you shouldn't have said that.'
'And I was on the point of proving to her ladyship that in these
days, when Art has become genteel, and even New Grub Street
"decorates" her walls—when success means not so much painting fine
pictures as building fine houses to paint in—the greatest compliment
you can pay to a man of genius is surely to call him either a beggar
or a madman.'
The peculiarity of this 'chaff' was that it was uttered in a simple
and serious tone, in which not the faintest tinge of ironical intent
was apparent. The other artist looked across and said: 'Dear me!
Sinfi Lovell! I am pleased to see you, Sinfi. I will ask you for a
sitting to-morrow. A study of your head would be very suggestive
among the Welsh hills.'
The man who had been 'chaffing' Sinfi then rose and walked towards
his Quaker-like companion, and I had an opportunity of observing him
fully. I saw that he was a spare man, wearing a brown velvet coat and
a dark felt hat. The collar of the coat seemed to have been made
carefully larger than usual, in order to increase the apparent width
of his chest. His hair was brown and curly, but close cut. His
features were regular, perhaps handsome. His complexion was
bright,—fair almost,—rosy in hue, and his eyes were brown.
He shook hands with Sinfi as he passed us, and gave me a glance of
that rapid and all-comprehending kind which seems to take in, at
once, a picture in its every detail.
'What do you think of him?' said Sinfi to me, as he passed on and we
two sat down on the grass by the side of the stream.
'I am puzzled,' I replied, 'to know whether he is a young man who
looks like a middle-aged one, or a middle-aged man who looks like a
young one. How's his hair under the hat?'
'Thinnish atop,' said Sinfi laconically. 'And I'm puzzled,' I added,
still looking at him as he walked over the grass, 'as to whether he's
a little man who looks middle-sized, or a middle-sized man who looks
little.'
'He's a little big 'un,' said Sinfi; 'about the height o' Rhona
Bozzell's Tarno Rye.'
'Altogether he puzzles me, Sinfi!'
'He puzzled me same way at fust.'
What was it that made me take an interest so strange, strong, and
sudden in this man? Without a hint of hair upon his face, while
juvenile curls clustered thick and short beneath his wide-awake, he
had at first struck me as being not much more than a lad, till, as he
gave me that rapid, searching glance in passing, I perceived the
little crow's-feet round his eyes, and he then struck me immediately
as being probably on the verge of thirty-five. His figure was slim
and thin, his waist almost girlish in its fall. I should have
considered him small had not the unusually deep, loud, manly, and
sonorous voice with which he had accosted Sinfi conveyed an
impression of size and weight such as even big men do not often
produce. This deep voice, coupled with that gaunt kind of cheek which
we associate with the most demure people, produced an effect of
sedateness such as I should have expected to find (and did not find)
in the other man—the man of the shaven cheek and Quaker costume;
but, in the one glance I had got from those watchful, sagacious,
twinkling eyes, there was an expression quite peculiar to them,
quite inscrutable, quite indescribable.
'Can you reckon him up, brother?' said Sinfi, taking my meerschaum
from my lips to refill it for me, as she was fond of doing.
'No.'
'Nor I nuther,' said Sinfi. 'Nor I can't pen his dukkerin' nuther,
though often's the time I've tried it.'
During this time the two friends seemed to have finished their
colloquy upon 'composition'; for they both came up to us. Sinfi rose;
I sat still on the grass, smoking my pipe, listening to the chatter
of the water as it rushed over the rocks. By this time my curiosity
in the younger man had died away. My mind was occupied with the
dream-picture of a little blue-eyed girl struggling with a wounded
heron. I had noticed, however, that he of the piercing eyes did not
look at me again, having entirely exhausted at a glance such interest
as I had momentarily afforded him; while his companion seemed quite
unconscious of my presence as he stood there, his large, full, deep,
brown eyes gazing apparently at something over my head, a long way
off. Also I had noticed that 'Visionary' was stamped upon this man's
every feature—that he seemed an inspired baby of forty, talking
there to his companion and to Sinfi, the sun falling upon his long,
brown, curly hair, mixed with grey, which fell from beneath his hat,
and floated around his collar like a mane.
When my reverie had passed, I found the artists trying to arrange
with Sinfi to give an open-air sitting to one of them, the man
addressed as Wilderspin. Sinfi seemed willing enough to come to
terms; but I saw her look round at me as if saying to herself, 'What
am I to do with you?'
'I should like for my brother to sit too,' I heard her say.
'Surely!' said Wilderspin. 'Your brother would be a great gain to my
picture.'
Sinfi then came to me, and said that the painter wanted me to sit to
him.
'But,' said I in an undertone, 'the Gorgios will certainly find out
that I am no Romany.'
'Not they,' said Sinfi, 'the Gorgios is sich fools. Why, bless you, a
Gorgio ain't got eves and ears like a Romany. You don't suppose as a
Gorgio can hear or see or smell like a Romany can?'
'But you forget, Sinfi, that I am a Gorgio, and there are not many
Romanies can boast of better senses than your brother Hal.'
'Dordi!' said Sinfi, 'that's jist like your mock-modesty. Your
great-grandmother wur a Romany, and it's my belief that if you only
went back fur enough, you'd find you had jist as good Romany blood in
your veins as I have, and my daddy is a duke, you know, a real,
reg'lar, out-an'-out Romany duke.'
'I'm afraid you flatter me, sister,' I replied. 'However, let's try
the Gorgios;' and I got up and walked with her close to the two
sketchers.
Wilderspin was on the point of engaging me, when the other man,
without troubling to look at me again, said:
'He's no more a Romany than I am.'
'Ain't a Romany?' said Sinfi. 'Who says my brother ain't a Romany?
Where did you ever see a Gorgio with a skin like that?' she said,
triumphantly pulling up my sleeve and exposing one of my wrists.
'That ain't sunburn, that's the real Romany brown, an' we's twinses,
only I'm the biggest, an' we's the child'n of a duke, a real,
reg'lar, out-an'-out Romany duke.'
He gave a glance at the exposed wrist.
'As to the Romany brown,' said he, 'a little soap would often make a
change in the best Romany brown—ducal or other.'
'Why, look at his neck,' said Sinfi, turning down my neckerchief; 'is
that sunburn, or is it Romany brown, I should like to know?'
'I assure you,' said the speaker, still addressing her in the same
grave, measured voice, 'that the Romanies have no idea what a little
soap can do with the Romany brown.'
'Do you mean to say,' cried Sinfi, now entirely losing her temper
(for on the subject of Romany cleanliness she, the most cleanly of
women, was keenly sensitive)—'do you mean to say as the Romany dials
an' the Romany dries don't wash theirselves? I know what you fine
Gorgios do say,—you're allus a-tellin' lies about us Romanies.
Brother,' she cried, turning now to me in a great fury, 'I'm a duke's
chavi, an' mustn't fight no mumply Gorgios; why don't you take an'
make his bed for him?'
And certainly the man's supercilious impertinence was beginning to
irritate me.
'I should advise you to withdraw that about the soap,' I said
quietly, looking at him.
'Oh! and if I don't?'
'Why, then I suppose I must do as my sister bids,' said I. 'I must
make your bed,' pointing to the grass beneath his feet. 'But I think
it only fair to tell you that I am somewhat of a fighting man, which
you probably are not.'
'You mean…?' said he (turning round menacingly, but with no more
notion of how to use his fists than a lobster).
'I mean that we should not be fighting on equal terms,' I said.
'In other words,' said he, 'you mean…?' and he came nearer.
'In other words, I mean that, judging from the way in which you are
advancing towards me now, the result of such an encounter might not
tend to the honour and glory of the British artist in Wales.'
'But,' said he, 'you are no Gypsy. Who are you?'
'My name is Henry Aylwin,' said I; 'and I must ask you to withdraw
your words about the virtues of soap, as my sister objects to them.'
'What?' cried he, losing for the first time his matchless
sang-froid. 'Henry Aylwin?' Then he looked at me in silent
amazement, while an expression of the deepest humorous enjoyment
overspread his features, making them positively shine as though
oiled. Finally, he burst into a loud laugh, that was all the more
irritating from the manifest effort he made to restrain it.
'Did I hear His Majesty of Gypsydom aright?' he said, as soon as his
hilarity allowed him to speak. 'Is the humble bed of a mere painter
to be made for him by the representative of the proud Aylwins, the
genteel Aylwins, the heir-presumptive Aylwins—the most respectable
branch of a most respectable family, which, alas! has its ungenteel,
its bohemian, its vulgar offshoots? Did I hear His Majesty of
Gypsydom aright?'
He leant against a tree, and gave utterance to peal after peal of
laughter.
I advanced with rapidly rising anger, but his hilarity had so
overmastered him that he did not heed it.
'Wilderspin,' cried he, 'come here! Pray come here. Have I not often
told you the reason why I threw up my engagement with my theatrical
manager, and missed my high vocation in ungenteel comedy? Have I not
often told you that it sprang from no disrespect to my friends, the
comic actors, but from the feeling that no comedian can hope to be
comic enough to compete with the real thing—the true harlequinade of
everyday life, roaring and screaming around me wherever I go?'
Then, without waiting for his companion's reply, he turned to me, and
giving an added volume to his sonorous voice, said:
'And you, Sir King, do you know whose bed Your Majesty was going to
make at the bidding of—well, of a duke's chavi?'
I advanced with still growing anger. 'Stay, King Bamfylde, stay,'
said he; 'shall the beds of the mere ungenteel Aylwins, "the outside
Aylwins," be made by the high Gypsy-gentility of Raxton?'
A light began to break in upon me. 'Surely,' I said, 'surely you are
not Cyril Aylwin, the———?'
'Pray finish your sentence, sir, and say the low bohemian painter,
the representative of the great ungenteel—the successor to the
Aylwin peerage.'
The other painter, looking in blank amazement at my newly-found
kinsman's extraordinary merriment, exclaimed, 'Bless me! Then you
really can laugh aloud, Mr. Cyril. What has happened? What can have
happened to make my dear friend laugh aloud?'
'Well he may ask,' said Cyril, turning to me. 'He knows that ever
since I was a boy in jackets I have despised the man who, in a world
where all is so comic, could select any particular point of the farce
for his empty guffaw. But I am conquered at last. Let me introduce
you, Wilderspin, to my kinsman, Henry Aylwin of Raxton Hall, alias
Lord Henry Lovell of Little Egypt—one of Duke Panuel's interesting
twinses.'
But Wilderspin's astonishment, apparently, was not at the
rencontre: it was at the spectacle of his companion's hilarity.
'Wonderful!' he murmured, with his eyes still fastened upon Cyril.
'My dear friend can laugh aloud. Most wonderful! What can have
happened?'
This is what had happened. By one of those strange coincidences which
make the drama of real life far more wonderful than the drama of any
stage, I, in my character of wandering Gypsy, had been thrown across
the path of the bête noire of my mother and aunt, Cyril Aylwin, a
painter of bohemian proclivities, who (under the name of 'Cyril') had
obtained some considerable reputation. This kinsman of mine had been
held up to me as a warning from my very childhood, though wherein lay
his delinquencies I never did clearly understand, save that he had
once been an actor—before acting had become genteel. Often as I had
heard of this eccentric painter as the representative of the branch
of the family which preceded mine in the succession to the coveted
earldom, I had never seen him before.
He stood and looked at me in a state of intense amusement, but did
not speak.
'So you are Cyril Aylwin?' I said. 'Still you must withdraw what you
said to my sister about the soap.'
'Delicious!' said he, grasping my hand. 'I had no idea that high
gentility numbered chivalry among its virtues. Lady Sinfi,' he
continued, turning to her, 'they say this brother of yours is a
character, and, by Jove! he is. And as to you, dear lady, I am proud
of the family connection. The man who has two Romany Rye kinsmen may
be excused for showing a little pride. I withdraw every word about
the virtues of soap, and am convinced that it can do nothing with the
true Romany-Aylwin brown.'
On that we shook hands all round. 'But, Sinfi,' said I, 'why did you
not tell me that this was my kinsman?'
''Cause I didn't know,' said she. 'I han't never seed him since I've
know'd you. I always heerd his friends call him Cyril, and so I used
to call him Mr. Cyril.'
'But, Lady Sinfi, my Helen of Little Egypt,' said Cyril, 'suppose
that in my encounter with my patrician cousin—an encounter which
would have been entirely got up in honour of you—suppose it had
happened that I had made your brother's bed for him?'
'You make his bed!' exclaimed Sinfi, laughing.
'Dordi! how you would ha' went down afore the Swimmin' Rei!'
[Footnote]
[Footnote: By the Welsh Gypsies, but few of whom can swim, I was
called 'the Swimmin' Rei,' a name which would have been far more
appropriately given to Percy Aylwin (Rhona Boswell's lover), one of
the strongest swimmers in England; but he was simply called the
Tarno Rye (the young gentleman).]
'But suppose that, on the contrary, he had gone down before me,' said
Cyril; 'suppose I had been the death of your Swimming Rei, I should
have been tried for the wilful murder of a prince of Little Egypt,
the son of a Romany duke. Why, Helen of Troy was not half so
mischievous a beauty as you.'
'You was safe enough, no fear,' said Sinfi. 'It 'ud take six o' you
to settle the Swimmin' Rei.'
I found that Cyril and his strange companion were staying at 'The
Royal Oak,' at Bettws y Coed. They asked me to join them, but when I
told them I 'could not leave my people, who were encamped about two
miles off,' Cyril again looked at me with an expression of deepest
enjoyment, and exclaimed 'delightful creature.'
Turning to Sinfi, he said: 'Then we'll go with you and call upon the
noble father of the twins, my old friend King Panuel.'
'He ain't a king,' said Sinfi modestly; 'he's only a duke.'
'You'll give us some tea, Lady Sinfi?' said Cyril.
'No tea equal to Gypsy tea.'
'Romany tea, Mr. Cyril,' replied Sinfi, with perfect dignity and
grace. 'My daddy, the duke, will be pleased to welcome you.'
We all strolled towards the tents. I offered to carry an umbrella and
a camp-stool. Cyril walked briskly away with Sinfi, leaving me to get
on with Wilderspin as best I could. Before the other two were out of
earshot, however, I heard Cyril say,
'You shouldn't have taken so seriously my chaff about the soap,
Sinfi. You ought to know me better by this time than to think that I
would really insult you.'
'How you would ha' went down afore the Swimmin' Rei!' replied Sinfi
regretfully.
Between my new companion, Wilderspin, and myself there was an awkward
silence for some time. He was evidently in a brown study. I had ample
opportunity for examining his face. Deeply impressed upon his forehead
there was, as I now perceived, an ancient scar of a peculiar shape. At
last, a lovely bit of scenery broke the spell, and conversation began
to flow freely.
We had nearly got within sight of the encampment when he said,
'I am in some perplexity, sir, about the various branches of your
family. Aylwin, I need not tell you, was the name of the greatest man
of this age, and I am anxious to know what is exactly your connection
with him.'
'You surprise me,' I said. 'Out of our own family, in its various
branches, there is, I have been told, no very large number of
Aylwins, and I had no idea that one of them had become famous.'
'I did not say famous, sir, but great; two very different words. Yet,
in a certain deep sense, it may be said of Philip Aylwin's name that
since his lamented death it has even become famous. The Aylwinians
(of which body I am, as you are no doubt aware, founder and
president) are, I may say, becoming—'
'Philip Aylwin!' I said. 'Why, that was my father. He famous!'
The recollection of the essay upon 'Hamalet and Hamlet,' the thought
of the brass-rubbings, the kneecaps and mittens, came before me in an
irresistibly humorous light, and I could not repress a smile. Then
arose upon me the remembrance of the misery that had fallen upon
Winnie and myself from his monomania and what seemed to me his
superstitious folly, and I could not withhold an angry scowl. Then
came the picture of the poor scarred breast, the love-token, and the
martyrdom that came to him who had too deeply loved, and smile and
frown both passed from my face as I murmured,—'Poor father! he
famous!
'Philip Aylwin's son!' said Wilderspin, staring at me. Then, raising
his hat as reverentially to me as if I had been the son of
Shakespeare himself, he said, 'Mr. Aylwin, since Mary Wilderspin went
home to heaven, the one great event of my life has been the reading
of The Veiled Queen, your father's book of inspired wisdom upon the
modern Renascence of Wonder in the mind of Man. To apply his
principles to Art, sir—to give artistic rendering to the profound
idea hinted at in the marvellous vignette on the title-page of his
third edition—has been, for some time past, the proud task of my
life. And you are the great man's son! Astonishing! Although his
great learning overwhelms my mind and appals my soul (whom, indeed,
should it not overwhelm and appal?) there is not a pamphlet of his
that I do not know intimately, almost by heart.'
'Including the paper on "Hamlet and Hamalet, and the wide region of
Nowhere"?'
'Including that and everything.'
'Did you know him, Mr. Wilderspin?'
'Not in the flesh; in the spirit, who knows him so well? Your mother
I have had the pleasure of meeting at the house of Lord Sleaford, and
indeed I have had the distinguished honour of painting her portrait;
but the great author of The Veiled Queen—the inspired designer of
the vignette symbolical of the Renascence of Wonder in Art—I never
had the rapture of seeing. This very day, the anniversary of his
birth,' he continued, 'is a great day in the Aylwinian calendar.'
'My father's birthday? Why, so it is!'
'Mr. Aylwin, is it possible that the anniversary of a day so
momentous for the world is forgotten—forgotten by the very issue of
the great man's loins?'
'The fact is,' said I, in some confusion, 'I have been living with
the Gypsies, and, you see, Mr. Wilderspin, the passage of time—'
'The son of Philip Aylwin a Gypsy!' murmured Wilderspin meditatively,
and unconscious evidently that he was speaking aloud—'a Gypsy! Still
it would surely be a mistake to suppose,' he continued, perfectly
oblivious now of my presence, 'that the vagaries of his son can
really bring shame upon the head of the father.'
'But, by God!' I cried, 'it is no mistake that the vagaries of the
father can bring shame and sorrow and misery upon the child. I could
name a couple of fathers—sleeping very close to each other
now—whose vagaries—'
My sudden anger was carrying me away; but I stopped, recollecting
myself.
'Doubtless,' said Wilderspin, 'there are fathers and fathers. The son
of Philip Aylwin has assuredly a right to be critical in regard to
all other fathers than his own.'
I looked in his face; the expression of solemn earnestness was quite
unmistakable.
'It is not you,' I said, 'it is Heaven, or else it is the blind
jester Circumstance, that is playing this joke upon me!'
'To your honoured father,' he continued, taking not the slightest
notice of my interjection, 'I owe everything. From his grave he
supports my soul; from his grave he gives me ideas; from his grave
he makes my fame. How should I fail to honour his son, even though
he—'
Of course he was going to add—'even though he be a vagabond
associating with vagabonds,'—but he left the sentence unfinished.
'I confess, Mr. Wilderspin,' said I, 'that you speak in such enigmas
that it would be folly for me to attempt to answer you.'
'I wish,' said Wilderspin, 'that all enigmas were as soluble as this.
Let me ask you a question, sir. When you stood before my picture,
"Faith and Love," in Bond Street, did you not perceive that both it
and the predella were inspired entirely by your father's great work,
The Veiled Queen, or rather that they are mere pictorial
renderings and illustrations of that grand effort of man's soul in
its loftiest development?'
I had never heard of the picture in question. As for the book, my
father, perceiving my great dislike of mysticism, had always shrunk
from showing me any effusion of his that was not of a simply
antiquarian kind. In Switzerland, however, after his death, while
waiting for the embalmer to finish his work, I had become, during a
few days' reading, acquainted with The Veiled Queen. It was a new
edition containing an 'added chapter,' full of subtle spiritualistic
symbols. Amid what had seemed to me mere mystical jargon about the
veil of Isis being uplifted, not by Man's reason, not by such
researches as those of Darwin, Huxley, Spencer, and the continental
evolutionists, but by Faith and Love, I had come across passages of
burning eloquence.
'I am sorry to say,' I replied, 'that my Gypsy wanderings are again
answerable for my shortcomings. I have not yet seen your picture.
When I do see it I—'
'Not seen "Faith and Love" and the equally wonderful predella at the
foot of it!' he exclaimed incredulously. 'Ah, but you have been
living among the Gypsies. It is the greatest picture of the modern
world; for, Mr. Aylwin, it renders in Art the inevitable attitude of
its own time and country towards the unseen world, and renders it as
completely as did the masterpiece of Polygnotus in the Lesche of the
'Not in the flesh; in the spirit, who knows him so well? Your mother
I have had the pleasure of meeting at the house of Lord Sleaford, and
indeed I have had the distinguished honour of painting her portrait;
but the great author of The Veiled Queen—the inspired designer of
the vignette symbolical of the Renascence of Wonder in Art—I never
had the rapture of seeing. This very day, the anniversary of his
birth,' he continued, 'is a great day in the Aylwinian calendar.'
'My father's birthday? Why, so it is!'
'Mr. Aylwin, is it possible that the anniversary of a day so
momentous for the world is forgotten—forgotten by the very issue of
the great man's loins?'
'The fact is,' said I, in some confusion, 'I have been living with
the Gypsies, and, you see, Mr. Wilderspin, the passage of time—'
'The son of Philip Aylwin a Gypsy!' murmured Wilderspin meditatively,
and unconscious evidently that he was speaking aloud—'a Gypsy! Still
it would surely be a mistake to suppose,' he continued, perfectly
oblivious now of my presence, 'that the vagaries of his son can
really bring shame upon the head of the father.'
'But, by God!' I cried, 'it is no mistake that the vagaries of the
father can bring shame and sorrow and misery upon the child. I could
name a couple of fathers—sleeping very close to each other
now—whose vagaries—'
My sudden anger was carrying me away; but I stopped, recollecting
myself.
'Doubtless,' said Wilderspin, 'there are fathers and fathers. The son
of Philip Aylwin has assuredly a right to be critical in regard to
all other fathers than his own.'
I looked in his face; the expression of solemn earnestness was quite
unmistakable.
'It is not you,' I said, 'it is Heaven, or else it is the blind
jester Circumstance, that is playing this joke upon me!'
'To your honoured father,' he continued, taking not the slightest
notice of my interjection, 'I owe everything. From his grave he
supports my soul; from his grave he gives me ideas; from his grave
he makes my fame. How should I fail to honour his son, even though
he—'
Of course he was going to add—'even though he be a vagabond
associating with vagabonds,'—but he left the sentence unfinished.
'I confess, Mr. Wilderspin,' said I, 'that you speak in such enigmas
that it would be folly for me to attempt to answer you.'
'I wish,' said Wilderspin, 'that all enigmas were as soluble as this.
Let me ask you a question, sir. When you stood before my picture,
"Faith and Love," in Bond Street, did you not perceive that both it
and the predella were inspired entirely by your father's great work,
The Veiled Queen, or rather that they are mere pictorial
renderings and illustrations of that grand effort of man's soul in
its loftiest development?'
I had never heard of the picture in question. As for the book, my
father, perceiving my great dislike of mysticism, had always shrunk
from showing me any effusion of his that was not of a simply
antiquarian kind. In Switzerland, however, after his death, while
waiting for the embalmer to finish his work, I had become, during a
few days' reading, acquainted with The Veiled Queen. It was a new
edition containing an 'added chapter,' full of subtle spiritualistic
symbols. Amid what had seemed to me mere mystical jargon about the
veil of Isis being uplifted, not by Man's reason, not by such
researches as those of Darwin, Huxley, Spencer, and the continental
evolutionists, but by Faith and Love, I had come across passages of
burning eloquence.
'I am sorry to say,' I replied, 'that my Gypsy wanderings are again
answerable for my shortcomings. I have not yet seen your picture.
When I do see it I—'
'Not seen "Faith and Love" and the equally wonderful predella at the
foot of it!' he exclaimed incredulously. 'Ah, but you have been
living among the Gypsies. It is the greatest picture of the modern
world; for, Mr. Aylwin, it renders in Art the inevitable attitude of
its own time and country towards the unseen world, and renders it as
completely as did the masterpiece of Polygnotus in the Lesche of the
Cnidians at Delphi—as completely as did the wonderful frescoes of
Andrea Orcagna on the walls of the Campo Santo at Pisa.'
'And you attribute your success to the inspiration you derived from
my father's hook?'
'To that and to the spirit of Mary Wilderspin in heaven.'
'Then you are a Spiritualist?'
'I am an Aylwinian, the opposite (need I say?) of a Darwinian.'
'Of the school of Blake, perhaps?' I asked.
'Of the school of Blake? No. He was on the right road; but he was a
writer of verses! Art is a jealous mistress, Mr. Aylwin: the painter
who rhymes is lost. Even the master himself is so much the weaker by
every verse he has written. I never could make a rhyme in my life,
and have faithfully shunned printer's ink, the black blight of the
painter. I am my own school; the school of the spirit world.'
'I am very curious,' I said, 'to know in what way my father and the
spirits can have inspired a great painter. Of the vignette I may
claim to know something. Of the spirits as artists I have of course
no knowledge, but as regards my father, he, I am certain, could
hardly have told a Raphael from a chromolithograph copy. He was, in
spite of that same vignette, most ignorant of art. Raxton Hall
possesses nothing but family portraits.'
By this time we had reached the encampment, which was close by a
waterfall among ferns and wild-flowers. Little Jerry Lovell, a child
of about four years of age, came running to meet me with a dead
water-wagtail in his hand which he had knocked down.
'Me kill de Romany Chiriklo,' said he, and then proceeded to tell me
very gravely that, having killed the 'Gypsy magpie,' he was bound to
have a great lady for his sweetheart.
'Jerry,' said I bitterly, 'you begin with love and superstition
early; you are an incipient "Aylwinian": take care.'
When I explained to Wilderspin that this was one of the Romany
beliefs, he said that he did not at present see the connection
between a dead water-wagtail and a live lady, but that such a
connection might doubtless exist. Panuel Lovell now came forward to
greet and welcome Wilderspin. Sinfi and Cyril had evidently walked at
a brisk rate, for already tea was spread out on a cloth. The fire was
blazing beneath a kettle slung from the 'kettle-prop.' The party were
waiting for us. Sinfi, however, never idle, was filling up the time
by giving lessons in riding to Euri and Sylvester Lovell, two dusky
urchins in their early teens, while her favourite bantam-cock
Pharaoh, standing on a donkey's back, his wattles gleaming like coral
in the sun, was crowing lustily. Cyril, who lay stretched among the
ferns, his chin resting in his hands and a cigarette in his mouth,
was looking on with the deepest interest. As I passed behind him to
introduce Wilderspin to Videy Lovell (who was making tea), I heard
Cyril say, 'Lady Sinfi, you must and shall teach me how to make an
adversary's bed—the only really essential part of a liberal
education.'
'Brother,' said Sinfi, turning to me, 'your thoughts are a-flyin' off
agin; keep your spirits up afore all these.'
The leafy dingle was recalling Graylingham Wilderness and 'Fairy
Dell,' where little Winifred used to play Titania to my childish
Oberon, and dance the Gypsy 'shawl-dance' Sinfi's mother had taught
her!
So much was I occupied with these reminiscences that I had not
observed that during our absence our camp had been honoured by
visitors. These were Jericho Boswell, christened, I believe, Jasper,
his daughter Rhona, and James Herne, called on account of his
accomplishments as a penman the Scollard. Although Jasper Boswell and
Panuel Lovell were rival Griengroes, there was no jealousy between
them—indeed, they were excellent friends.
There were many points of similarity between their characters. Each
had risen from comparative poverty to what might be called wealth,
and risen in the same way, that is to say, by straightforward dealing
with the Gorgios, although as regarded Jericho, Rhona was generally
credited with having acted as a great auxiliary in amassing his
wealth. All over the country the farmers and horse-dealers knew that
neither Jasper nor Panuel ever bishoped a gry, or indulged in any
other horse-dealing tricks. Their very simplicity of character had
done what all the crafty tricks of certain compeers of theirs had
failed to do. They were also very much alike in their good-natured
and humorous, way of taking all the ups and downs of life.
A very different kind of Romany was the Scollard—so different,
indeed, that it was hard to think that he was of the same race:
Romany guile incarnate was the Scollard. He suggested even in his
personal appearance the typical Gypsy of the novel and the stage,
rather than the true Gypsy as he lives and moves. The Scollard was
well known to be half-crazed with a passion for Rhona Boswell, who
was the fiancée of that cousin of mine, Percy Aylwin, before
mentioned. Percy was considered to be a hopelessly erratic character.
Much against the wish of his parents, he had been brought up as a
sailor; but on seeing Rhona Boswell he promptly fell in love with
her, and quitted the sea in order to be near her. And no man who ever
heard Rhona's laugh professed to wonder at Percy's infatuation. As a
Griengro her father, Jericho Boswell, who had no son, was said to
have owed his prosperity to Rhona's instinctive knowledge of
horseflesh.
While our guests, Romany and Gorgio, were doing justice to the trout,
Welsh brown bread and butter and jam which Videy had spread before
them, Sinfi went to the back of the camp to look at the ponies, and I
got into conversation with Rhona Boswell, whom I remembered so well
as a child. At first she was shy and embarrassed, doubtful, as I
perceived, whether or not she ought to talk about Winnie. She waited
to see whether I introduced the subject, and finding that I did not,
she began to talk about Sinfi and plied me with questions as to what
we two had been doing and where we had been during our wanderings
through Wales.
When tea was over and Cyril was in lively talk with Sinfi, Wilderspin
grew restless, and I perceived that he wanted to resume his
conversation with me about his picture. I said to him: 'This idea o
f my father's which has inspired you, and resulted in such great
work, what is its nature?'
'I am a painter, Mr. Aylwin, and nothing more,' he replied. 'I could
only express Philip Aylwin's ideas by describing my picture and the
predella beneath it. Will you permit me to do so?'
'May I ask you,' I said, 'as a favour to do so?'
Immediately his face became very bright, and into his eyes returned
the far-off look already described.
'I will first take the predella, which represents Isis behind the
Veil,' said he. 'Imagine yourself thousands of years away from this
time. Imagine yourself thousands of miles away, among real
Egyptians.'
'Real 'Gyptians!' cried Sinfi. 'Who says the Romanies ain't real
'Gyptians? Anybody as says my daddy ain't a real 'Gyptian duke'll ha'
to set to with Sinfi Lovell.'
'Nonsense,' said Cyril, smiling, and playing idly with a coral amulet
dangling from Sinfi's neck; 'he's talking about the ancient
Egyptians: Egyptian mummies, you silly Lady Sinfi. You're not a
mummy, are you?'
'Well, no, I ain't a mummy as fur as I knows on,' said Sinfi, only
half-appeased; 'but my daddy's a 'Gyptian duke for all that,—ain't
you, dad?'
'So it seems, Sin,' said Panuel, 'but I ommust begin to wish I
worn't; it makes you feel so blazin' shy bein' a duke all of a
suddent.'
'Dabla!' said the guest Jericho Boswell. 'What, Pan, has she made a
dook on ye?'
The Scollard began to grin.
'Pull that ugly mug o' yourn straight, Jim Herne,' said Sinfi, 'else
I'll come and pull it straight for you.'
Wilderspin took no notice of the interruption, but addressed me as
though no one else were within earshot.
'Imagine yourself standing in an Egyptian city, where innumerable
lamps of every hue are shining. It is one of the great lamp-fêtes of
Sais, which all Egypt has come to see. There, in honour of the feast,
sits a tall woman, covered by a veil. But the painting is so
wonderful, Mr. Aylwin, that, though you see a woman's face expressed
behind the veil—though you see the warm flesh-tints and the light of
the eyes through the aerial film—you cannot judge of the character
of the face—you cannot see whether it is that of woman in her noblest,
or woman in her basest, type. The eyes sparkle, but you cannot say
whether they sparkle with malignity or benevolence—whether they are
fired with what Philip Aylwin calls "the love-light of the seventh
heaven," or are threatening with "the hungry flames of the seventh
hell"! There she sits in front of a portico, while, asleep, with
folded wings, is crouched on one side of her the figure of Love, with
rosy feathers, and on the other the figure of Faith, with plumage
of a deep azure. Over her head, on the portico, are written the
words:—"I am all that hath been, is, and shall be, and no mortal
hath uncovered my veil." The tinted lights falling on the group are
shed, you see, from the rainbow-coloured lamps of Sais, which are
countless. But in spite of all these lamps, Mr. Aylwin, no mortal can
see the face behind that veil. And why? Those who alone could uplift
it, the figures with folded wings—Faith and Love—are fast asleep at
the great Queen's feet. When Faith and Love are sleeping there, what
are the many-coloured lamps of science?—of what use are they to the
famished soul of man?'
'A striking idea!' I exclaimed.
'Your father's,' replied Wilderspin, in a tone of such reverence that
one might have imagined my father's spectre stood before him. 'It
symbolises that base Darwinian cosmogony which Carlyle spits at, and
the great and good John Ruskin scorns. But this design is only the
predella beneath the picture "Faith and Love." Now look at the
picture itself, Mr. Aylwin,' he continued, as though it were upon an
easel before me. 'You are at Sais no longer: you are now, as the
architecture around you shows, in a Greek city by the sea. In the
light of innumerable lamps, torches, and wax tapers, a procession is
moving through the streets. You see Isis, as Pelagia, advancing
between two ranks, one of joyous maidens in snow-white garments,
adorned with wreaths, and scattering from their bosoms all kinds of
dewy flowers; the other of youths, playing upon pipes and flutes,
mixed with men with shaven shining crowns, playing upon sistra of
brass, silver, and gold. Isis wears a Dorian tunic, fastened on her
breast by a tasselled knot,—an azure-coloured tunic bordered with
silver stars,—and an upper garment of the colour of the moon at
moonrise. Her head is crowned with a chaplet of sea-flowers, and
round her throat is a necklace of seaweeds, wet still with sea-water,
and shimmering with all the shifting hues of the sea. On either side
of her stand the awakened angels, uplifting from her face a veil
whose folds flow soft as water over her shoulders and over the wings
of Faith and Love. A symbol of the true cosmogony which Philip Aylwin
gave to the world!'
'Why, that's esackly like the wreath o' seaweeds as poor Winnie Wynne
used to make,' said Rhona Boswell.
'The photograph of Raxton Fair!' I cried. 'Frank and Winnie, and
little Bob Milford, and the seaweeds!' The terrible past came upon my
soul like an avalanche, and I leapt up and walked frantically towards
my own waggon. The picture, which was nothing but an idealisation of
the vignette upon the title-page of my father's book—the vignette
taken from the photograph of Winnie, my brother Frank, and one of my
fisher-boy playmates—brought back upon me—all!
Sinfi came to me.
'What is it, brother?' said she.
'Sinfi,' I cried, 'what was that saying of your mother's about
fathers and children?'
'My poor mammy's daddy, when she wur a little chavi, beat her so
cruel that she was a ailin' woman all her life, and she used to say,
"For good or for ill, you must dig deep to bury your daddy."'
I went back and resumed my seat by Wilderspin's side, while Sinfi
returned to Cyril.
Wilderspin evidently thought that I had been overcome by the
marvellous power of his description, and went on as though there had
been no interruption.
'Isis,' said he,' stands before you; Isis, not matronly and stern as
the mother of Horus, nor as the Isis of the licentious orgies; but
(as Philip Aylwin says) "Isis, the maiden, gazing around her, with
pure but mystic eyes."'
'And you got from my father's book,—The Veiled Queen, all this'—I
was going to add—'jumble of classic story and mediæval
mysticism,'—but I stopped short in time.
'All this and more—a thousand times more than could be rendered by
the art of any painter. For the age that Carlyle spits at and the
great and good John Ruskin scorns is gross, Mr. Aylwin; the age is
grovelling and gross. No wonder, then, that Art in our time has
nothing but technical excellence; that it despises conscience,
despises aspiration, despises soul, despises even ideas—that it is
worthless, all worthless.'
'Except as practised in a certain temple of art in a certain part of
London that shall be nameless, whence Calliope, Euterpe, and all the
rhythmic sisters are banished,' interposed Cyril.
'But how did you attain to this superlative excellence, Mr.
Wilderspin?' I asked.
'That would indeed be a long story to tell,' said he. 'Yet Philip
Aylwin's son has a right to know all that I can tell. My dear friend
here knows that, though famous now, I climbed the ladder of Art from
the bottom rung; nay, before I could even reach the bottom rung, what
a toilsome journey was mine to get within sight of the ladder at all!
The future biographer of the painter of "Faith and Love" will have to
record that he was born in a hovel; that he was nursed in a smithy;
that his cradle was a piece of board suspended from the smithy
ceiling by a chain, which his mother—his widowed mother—kept
swinging by an occasional touch in the intervals of her labours at
the forge.'
I did not even smile at this speech, so entirely was the effect of
its egotism killed by the wonderful way of pronouncing the word
'mother.'
'You have heard,' he continued in a voice whose intense earnestness
had an irresistible fascination for the ear, like that of a Hindoo
charmer—'you have heard of the mother-bird who feeds her young from
the blood of her own breast; that bird but feebly typifies her whom
God, in His abundant love of me, gave me for a mother. There were ten
of us—ten little children. My mother was a female blacksmith of Old
Hill, who for four shillings and sixpence a week worked sixteen hours
a day for the fogger, hammering hot iron into nails. The scar upon my
forehead—look! it is shaped like the red-hot nail that one day leapt
upon me from her anvil, as I lay asleep in my swing above her head. I
would not lose it for all the diadems of all the monarchs of this
world. She was much too poor to educate us. When the wolf is at the
door, Mr. Aylwin, and the very flesh and blood of the babes in danger
of perishing, what mother can find time to think of education, to
think even of the salvation of the soul,—to think of anything but
food—food? Have you ever wanted food, Mr. Aylwin?' he suddenly said,
in a voice so magnetic from its very earnestness that I seemed for
the moment to feel the faintness of hunger.
'No, no,' I said, a tide of grief rushing upon me; 'but there is one
who perhaps—there is one I love more dearly than your mother loved
her babes—'
Sinfi rose, and came and placed her hand upon my shoulder and
whispered,
'She ain't a-starvin', brother; she never starved on the hills. She's
only jest a-beggin' her bread for a little while, that's all.'
And then, after laying her hand upon my forehead, soft and soothing,
she returned to Cyril's side.
'No one who has never wanted food knows what life is,' said
Wilderspin, taking but little heed of even so violent an interruption
as this.'No one has been entirely educated, Mr. Aylwin—no one knows
the real primal meaning of that pathetic word Man—no one knows the
true meaning of Man's position here among the other living creatures
of this world, if he has never wanted food. Hunger gives a new seeing
to the eyes.'
'That's as true as the blessed stars,' muttered old Mrs. Boswell,
Rhona's beloved granny, who was squatting on a rug next to her son
Jericho, with a pipe in her mouth, weaving fancy baskets, and
listening intently. 'The very airth under your feet seems to be
a-sinkin' away, and the sweet sunshine itself seems as if it all
belonged to the Gorgios, when you're a-follerin' the patrin with the
emp'y belly.'
'I thank God,' continued Wilderspin, 'that I once wanted food.'
'More nor I do,' muttered old Mrs. Boswell, as she went on weaving;
'no mammy as ever felt a little chavo [Footnote 1] a-suckin' at her
burk [Footnote 2] never thanked God for wantin' food: it dries the
milk, or else it sp'iles it.'
[Footnote 1: Child.]
[Footnote 2: Bosom.]
'In no way,' said Wilderspin, 'has the spirit-world neglected the
education of the apostle of spiritual beauty. I became a "blower" in
the smithy. As a child, from early sunrise till nearly midnight, I
blew the bellows for eighteen pence a week. But long before I could
read or write my mother knew that I was set apart for great things.
She knew, from the profiles I used to trace with the point of a nail
on the smithy walls, that, unless the heavy world pressed too heavily
upon me, I should become a great painter. Except anxiety about my
mother and my little brothers and sisters, I, for my part, had no
thought besides this of being some day a painter. Except love for her
and for them, I had no other passion. By assiduous attendance at
night-schools I learnt to read and write. This enabled me to take a
better berth in Black Waggon Street, where I earned enough to take
lessons in drawing from the reduced widow of a once prosperous
fogger. But ah! so eager was I to learn, that I did not notice how my
mother was fading, wasting, dying slowly. It was not till too late
that I learnt the appalling truth, that while the babes had been
nourished, the mother had starved—starved! On a few ounces of bread
a day no woman can work the Oliver and prod the fire. Her last
whispers to me were, "I shall see you, dear, a great painter yet;
Jesus will let me look down and watch my boy." Ah, Sinfi Lovell! that
makes you weep. It is long, long since I ceased to weep at that.
"Whatsoever is not of faith is sin."'
Rhona Boswell, down whose face also the tears were streaming, nodded
in a patronising way to Wilderspin, and said, 'Reia, my mammy lives
in the clouds, and I'll tell her to show you the Golden Hand, I
will.'
'From the moment when I left my mother in the grave,' said
Wilderspin, 'I had but one hope, that she who was watching my
endeavours might not watch in vain. Art became now my religion:
success in it my soul's goal. I went to London; I soon began to
develop a great power of design, in illustrating penny periodicals.
For years I worked at this, improving in execution with every design,
but still unable to find an opening for a better class of work. What
I yearned for was the opportunity to exercise the gift of colour.
That I did possess this in a rare degree I knew. At last I got a
commission. Oh! the joy of painting that first picture! My progress
was now rapid. But I had few purchasers till Providence sent me a
good man and great gentleman, my dear friend—'
'This is a long-winded speech of yours, mon cher,' yawned Cyril.
'Lady Sinfi is going to strike up with the Welsh riddle unless you
get along faster.'
'Don't stop him,' I heard Sinfi mutter, as she shook Cyril angrily;
'he's mighty fond o' that mother o' his'n, an', if he's ever sich a
horn nataral, I likes him.'
'I never exhibited in the Academy,' continued Wilderspin, without
heeding the interruption, 'I never tried to exhibit; but, thanks to
the dear friend I have mentioned, I got to know the Master himself.
People came to my poor studio, and my pictures were bought from my
easel as fast as I could paint them. I could please my buyers, I
could please my dear friend, I could please the Master himself; I
could please every person in the world but one—myself. For years I
had been struggling with what cripples so many artists—with
ignorance—ignorance, Mr. Aylwin, of the million points of detail
which must be understood and mastered before ever the sweetness, the
apparent lawlessness and abandonment of Nature can be expressed by
Art. But it was now, when I had conquered these,—it was now that I
was dissatisfied, and no man living was so miserable as I. I dare say
you are an artist yourself, Mr. Aylwin, and will understand me when I
say that artists—figure-painters, I mean,—are divided into two
classes—those whose natural impulse is to paint men, and those who
are sent into the world expressly to paint women. My mother's death
taught me that my mission was to paint women, women whom I—being the
son of Mary Wilderspin—love and understand better than other men,
because my soul (once folded in her womb) is purer than other men's
souls.'
'Is not modesty a Gorgio virtue, Lady Sinfi?' murmured Cyril.
'Nothin' like a painter for thinkin' strong beer of hisself,' she
replied; 'but I likes him—oh, I likes him.'
'No man whose soul is stained by fleshly desire shall render in art
all that there is in a truly beautiful woman's face,' said
Wilderspin. 'I worked hard at imaginative painting; I worked for
years and years, Mr. Aylwin, but with scant success. It shames me to
say that I was at last discouraged. Hut, after a time, I began to
feel that the spirit-world was giving me a strength of vision second
only to the Master's own, and a cunning of hand greater than any
vouchsafed to man since the death of Raphael. This was once
stigmatised as egotism; but "Faith and Love," and the predella "Isis
behind the Veil," have told another story. I did not despair, I say;
for I knew the cause of my failure. Two sources of inspiration were
wanting to me—that of a superlative subject and that of a
superlative model. For the first I am indebted to Philip Aylwin; for
the second I am indebted to—'
'A greater still, Miss Gudgeon, of Primrose Court,' interjected
Cyril.
'For the second I'm indebted to my mother. And yet something else was
wanting,' continued Wilderspin, 'to enable me for many months to
concentrate my life upon one work—the self-sacrificing generosity of
such a friend as I think no man ever had before.
'Wilderspin,' said Cyril, rising, 'the Duke of Little Egypt sleeps,
as you see. His Grace of the Pyramids snores, as you hear. The
autobiography of a man of genius is interesting; but I fear that
yours will have to be continued in our next.'
'But Mr. Aylwin wants to hear—'
'He and our other idyllic friends are early to bed and early to rise;
they have, in the morning, trout to catch for breakfast, and we have
a good way to walk to-night.'
'That's just like my friend,' said Wilderspin. 'That's my friend all
over.'
With this they left us, and we betook ourselves to our usual evening
occupations.
Next morning the two painters called upon us. Wilderspin sketched
alone, while Sinfi, Rhona, Cyril, and I went trout-fishing in one of
the numerous brooks.
'What do you think of my friend by this time?' said Cyril to me.
'He is my fifth mystic,' I replied; 'I wonder what the sixth will be
like. Is he really as great a painter as he takes himself to he, or
does his art begin and end with flowery words?'
'I believe,' said Cyril, pointing across to where Wilderspin sat at
work, 'that the strange creature under that white umbrella is the
greatest artistic genius now living. The death of his mother by
starvation has turned his head, poor fellow, but turned it to good
purpose: "Faith and Love" is the greatest modern picture in Europe.
To be sure, he has the advantage of painting from the finest model
ever seen, the lovely, if rather stupid, Miss Gudgeon, of Primrose
Court, whom he monopolises.'
Cyril had already, during the morning, told me that my mother, who
was much out of health, was now staying in London, where he had for
the first time in his life met her at Lord Sleaford's house.
Notwithstanding their differences of opinion, my mother and he
seemed to have formed a mutual liking. He also told me that my uncle
Cecil Aylwin of Alvanley (who in this narrative must not, of course,
be confounded with another important relative, Henry Aylwin, Earl of
Aylwin) having just died and left me the bulk of his property, I had
been in much request. I consequently determined to start for London
on the following day, leaving my waggon in charge of Sinfi, who was
to sit to Wilderspin in the open air.
During this conversation Sinfi was absorbed in her fishing, and
wandered away up the brook, and I could see that Cyril's eyes were
following her with great admiration.
Turning to me and looking at me, he said, 'Lucky dog!' and then,
looking again across at Sinfi, he said, 'The finest girl in England.'
HAROUN-AL-RASCHID THE PAINTER
On reaching London and finding that it was necessary I should remain
there for some little time, I wrote to Cyril to say so, sending some
messages to Sinfi and her father about my own living-waggon.
My mother was now staying at my aunt's house, whither I went to call
upon her shortly after my arrival in town.
Our meeting was a constrained and painful one. It was my mother's
cruelty to Winifred that had, in my view, completely ruined two
lives. I did not know then what an awful struggle was going on in her
own breast between her pride and her remorse for having driven Winnie
away, to be lost in Wales. Afterwards her sad case taught me that
among all the agents of soul-torture that have ever stung mankind to
madness the scorpion Remorse is by far the most appalling. But other
events had to take place before she reached the state when the
scorpion stings to death all other passions, even Pride and even
Vanity, and reigns in the bosom supreme. We could hardly meet without
softening towards each other. She was most anxious to know what had
occurred to me since I left Raxton to search for Winnie. I gave her
the entire story from my first seeing Winnie in the cottage, to my
rencontre with her at Knockers' Llyn. At this time she had
accidentally been brought into contact with Miss Dalrymple, who had
lately received a legacy and was now in better circumstances. Miss
Dalrymple had spoken in high terms of Winnie's intelligence and
culture, little thinking how she was making my mother feel more
acutely than ever her own wrongdoing. Knowing that I was very fond of
music, my mother persuaded me to take her on several occasions to the
opera and the theatre. She with more difficulty persuaded me to
consult a medical man upon the subject of my insomnia; and at last I
agreed, though very reluctantly, to consult Dr. Mivart, late of
Raxton, who was now living in London. Mivart attributed my ailment
(as I, of course, knew he would) to hypochondria, and I saw that he
was fully aware of the cause. I therefore opened my mind to him upon
the subject. I told him everything in connection with Winifred in
Wales.
He pondered the subject carefully and then said:
'What you need is to escape from these terrible oscillations between
hope and despair. Therefore I think it best to tell you frankly that
Miss Wynne is certainly dead. Even suppose that she did not fall down
a precipice in Wales, she is, I repeat, certainly dead. So severe a
form of hysteria as hers must have worn her out by this time. It is
difficult for me to think that any nervous system could withstand a
strain so severe and so prolonged.'
I felt the terrible truth of his words, but I made no answer.
'But let this be your consolation,' said he. 'Her death is a blessing
to herself, and the knowledge that she is dead will be a blessing to
you.'
'A blessing to me?' I said.
'I mean that it will save you from the mischief of these alternations
between hope and despair. You will remember that it was I who saw her
in her first seizure and told you of it. Such a seizure having lasted
so long, nothing could have given her relief but death or magnetic
transmission of the seizure. It is a grievous case, but what concerns
me now is the condition into which you yourself have passed. Nothing
but a successful effort on your part to relieve your mind from the
dominant idea that has disturbed it can save you from—from—'
'From what?'
'That drug of yours is the most dangerous narcotic of all. Increase
your doses by a few more grains and you will lose all command over
your nervous system—all presence of mind. Give it up, give it up and
enter Parliament.'
I left Mivart in anger, and took a stroll through the streets, trying
to amuse myself by looking at the shop windows and recalling the few
salient incidents that were connected with my brief experiences as an
art student.
Hours passed in this way, until one by one the shops were closed and
only the theatres, public bars, and supper-rooms seemed to be open.
I turned into a restaurant in the Haymarket, for I had taken no
dinner. I went upstairs into a supper-room, and after I had finished
my meal, taking a seat near the window, I gazed abstractedly over
the bustling, flashing streets, which to me seemed far more lonely,
far more remote, than the most secluded paths of Snowdon. In a
trouble such as mine it is not Man but Nature that can give
companionship.
I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not observe whether
I was or was not now alone in the room, till the name of Wilderspin
fell on my ear and recalled me to myself. I started and looked round.
At a table near me sat two men whom I had not noticed before. The
face of the man who sat on the opposite side of the table confronted
me.
If I had one tithe of that objective power and that instinct for
description which used to amaze me in Winifred as a child, I could
give here a picture of a face which the reader could never forget.
If it was not beautiful in detail it was illuminated by an expression
that gave a unity of beauty to the whole. And what was the
expression? I can only describe it by saying that it was the
expression of genius; and it had that imperious magnetism which I had
never before seen in any face save that of Sinfi Lovell. But striking
as was the face of this man, I soon found that his voice was more
striking still. In whatever assembly that voice was heard, its
indescribable resonance would have marked it off from all other
voices, and have made the ear of the listener eager to catch the
sound. This voice, however, was not the one that had uttered the name
of Wilderspin. It was from his companion, who sat opposite to him,
with his great broad back, covered with a smart velvet coat, towards
me, that the talk was now coming. This man was smoking cigarettes in
that kind of furious sucking way which is characteristic of great
smokers. Much smoking, however, had not dried up his skin to the
consistence of blotting paper and to the colour of tobacco ash as it
does in some cases, but tobacco juice, which seemed to ooze from his
face like perspiration, or rather like oil, had made his complexion
of a yellow green colour, something like a vegetable marrow. Although
his face was as hairless as a woman's, there was not a feature in it
that was not masculine. Although his cheek-bones were high and his
jaw was of the mould which we so often associate with the
prizefighter, he looked as if he might somehow be a gentleman. And
when I got for a moment a full view of his face as he turned round, I
thought it showed power and intelligence, although his forehead
receded a good deal, a recession which was owing mainly to the bone
above the eyes. Power and intelligence too were seen in every glance
of his dark bright eyes. In a few minutes Wilderspin's name was again
uttered by this man, and I found he was telling anecdotes of the
eccentric painter—telling them with great gusto and humour, in a
loud voice, quite careless of being overheard by me. Then followed
other anecdotes of other people—artists for the most part—in which
the names of Millais, Ruskin, Watts, Leighton, and others came up in
quick succession.
That he was a professional anecdote-monger of extraordinary
brilliancy, a raconteur of the very first order, was evident
enough. I found also that as a story-teller he was reckless and
without conscience. He was, I thought, inventing anecdotes to amuse
his companion, whose manifest enjoyment of them rather weakened the
impression that his own personality had been making upon me.
After a while the name of Cyril Aylwin came up, and I soon found the
man telling a story of Cyril and a recent escapade of his which I
knew must be false. He then went rattling on about other people,
mentioning names which, as I soon gathered, were those of female
models known in the art world. The anecdotes he told of these were
mostly to their disadvantage. I was about to move to another table,
in order to get out of earshot of this gossip, when the name 'Lady
Sinfi' fell upon my ears.
And then I heard the other man—the man of the musical voice—talk
about Lady Sinfi with the greatest admiration and regard. He wound up
by saying, 'By the bye, where is she now? I should like to use her in
painting my new picture.'
'She's in Wales; so Kiomi told me.'
'Ah yes! I remember she has an extraordinary passion for Snowdon.'
'Her passion is now for something else, though.'
'What's that?'
'A man.'
'I never saw a girl so indifferent to men as Lady Sinfi.'
'She is living at this moment as the mistress of a cousin of Cyril
Aylwin.'
My blood boiled with rage. I lost all control of myself. I longed to
feel his face against my knuckles.
'That's not true,' I said in a rather loud voice.
He started up, and turned round, saying in a hectoring voice, 'What
was that you said to me? Will you repeat your words?'
'To repeat one's words,' I said quietly, 'shows a limited
vocabulary, so I will put it thus,—what you said just now about
Sinfi Lovell being the mistress of Cyril Aylwin's cousin is a lie.'
'You dare to give me the lie, sir? And what the devil do you mean by
listening to our conversation?'
The threatening look that he managed to put into his face was so
entirely histrionic that it made me laugh outright. This seemed to
damp his courage more than if I had sprung up and shown fight. The
man had a somewhat formidable appearance, however, as regards build,
which showed that he possessed more than average strength. It was the
manifest genuineness of my laugh that gave him pause. And when I sat
with my elbows on the table and my face between my palms, taking
stock of him quietly, he looked extremely puzzled. The man of the
musical voice sat and looked at me as though under a spell.
'I am a young man from the country,' I said to him. 'To what theatre
is your histrionic friend attached? I should like to see him in a
better farce than this.'
'Do you hear that, De Castro?' said the other. 'What is your
theatre?'
'If he is really excited,' I said, 'tell him that people at a public
supper-room should speak in a moderate tone or their conversation is
likely to be overheard.'
'Do you hear this young man from the country, De Castro?' said he.
'You seem to be the Oraculum of the hay-fields, sir,' he continued,
turning to me with a delightfully humorous expression on his face.
'Have you any other Delphic utterance?'
'Only this,' I said, 'that people who do not like being given the lie
should tell the truth.'
'May I be permitted to guess your Christian name, sir? Is it Martin,
perchance?'
'Yes,' I replied, 'and my surname is Tupper.' He then got up and laid
his hand on the raconteur's shoulder, and said, 'Don't be a fool,
De Castro. When a man looks at another as the author of the
Proverbial Philosophy is looking at you, he knows that he can use
his fists as well as his pen.'
'He gave me the lie. Didn't you hear?'
'I did, and I thought the gift as entirely gratuitous, mon cher,
as giving a scuttleful of coals to Newcastle.'
The anecdote-monger stood silent, quelled by this man's voice.
Then turning to me, the man of the musical voice said, 'I suppose you
know something about my friend Lady Sinfi?'
'I do,' I said, 'and I am Cyril Aylwin's kinsman, whom you call his
cousin, so perhaps, as every word your friend has said about Sinfi
Lovell and me is false, you will allow me to call him a liar.'
A look of the greatest glee at the discomfiture of his companion
overspread his face.
'Certainly,' he said with a loud laugh. 'You may call him that, you
may even qualify the noun you have used with an adjective if the
author of the Proverbial Philosophy can think of one that is
properly descriptive and yet not too unparliamentary. So you are
Cyril Aylwin's kinsman. I have heard him,' he said, with a smile that
he tried in vain to suppress, 'I have heard Cyril expatiate on the
various branches of the Aylwin family.'
'I belong to the proud Aylwins,' I said.
The twinkle in his eye made me adore him as he said—'The proud
Aylwins. A man who, in a world like this, is proud and knows it, and
is proud of confessing his pride, always interests me, but I will not
ask you what makes the proud Aylwins proud, sir.'
'I will tell you what makes me proud,' I said: 'my great-grandmother
was a full-blooded Gypsy, and I am proud of the descent.'
He came forward and held out his hand and said, 'It is long since I
met a man who interested me'—he gave a sigh—'very long; and I hope
that you and I may become friends.'
I grasped his hand and shook it warmly.
The anecdote-monger began talking at once about Sinfi, Wilderspin,
and Cyril Aylwin, speaking of them in the most genial and
affectionate terms. In a few minutes, without withdrawing a word he
had said about either of them, he had entirely changed the spirit of
every word. At first I tried to resist his sophistry, but it was not
to be resisted. I ended by apologising to him for my stupidity in
misunderstanding him.
'My dear fellow,' said he, 'not a word, not a word. I admired the way
in which you stood up for absent friends. Didn't you, D'Arcy?'
At this the other broke out into another mellow laugh. 'I did. How's
your kinsman, and how's Wilderspin?' he said, turning to me. 'Did you
leave them well?'
We soon began, all three of us, to talk freely together. Of course I
was filled with curiosity about my new friends, especially about the
liar. His extraordinary command of facial expression, coupled with
the fact that he wore no hair on his face, made me at first think he
was a great actor; but being at that time comparatively ignorant of
the stage, I did not attempt to guess what actor it was. After a
while his prodigious acuteness struck me more than even his
histrionic powers, and I began to ask myself what Old Bailey
barrister it was.
Turning at last to the one called D'Arcy, I said. 'You are an artist;
you are a painter?'
'I have been trying for many years to paint,' he said.
'And you?' I said, turning to his companion.
'He is an artist too,' D'Arcy said, 'but his line is not painting—he
is an artist in words.'
'A poet?' I said in amazement.
'A romancer, the greatest one of his time unless it be old Dumas.'
'A novelist?'
'Yes, but he does not write his novels, he speaks them.'
De Castro, evidently with a desire to turn the conversation from
himself and his profession, said, pointing to D'Arcy, 'You see before
you the famous painter Haroun-al-Raschid, who has never been known to
perambulate the streets of London except by night, and in me you see
his faithful vizier.'
It soon became evident that D'Arcy, for some reason or other, had
thoroughly taken to me—more thoroughly, I thought, than De Castro
seemed to like, for whenever D'Arcy seemed to be on the verge of
asking me to call at his studio, De Castro would suddenly lead the
conversation off into another channel by means of some amusing
anecdote. However, the painter was not to be defeated in his
intention; indeed I noticed during the conversation that although
D'Arcy yielded to the sophistries of his companion, he did so
wilfully. While he forced his mind, as it were, to accept these
sophistries there seemed to be all the while in his consciousness a
perception that sophistries they were. He ended by giving me his
address and inviting me to call upon him.
'I am only making a brief stay in London,' he said; 'I am working
hard at a picture in the country, but business just now calls me to
London for a short time.'
With this we parted at the door of the restaurant.
It was through the merest accident that I saw these two men again.
One evening I had been dining with my mother and aunt. I think I may
say that I had now become entirely reconciled to my mother. I used to
call upon her often, and at every call I could not but observe how
dire was the struggle going on within her breast between pride and
remorse. She felt, and rightly felt, that the loss of Winifred among
the Welsh hills had been due to her harshness in sending the stricken
girl away from Raxton, to say nothing of her breaking her word with
me after having promised to take my place and watch for the exposure
of the cross by the wash of the tides until the danger was certainly
past.
But against my aunt I cherished a stronger resentment every day. She
it was, with her inferior intellect and insect soul, who had in my
childhood prejudiced my mother against me and in favour of Frank,
because I showed signs of my descent from Fenella Stanley while Frank
did not. She it was who first planted in my mother's mind the seeds
of prejudice against Winnie as being the daughter of Tom Wynne.
The influence of such a paltry nature upon a woman of my mother's
strength and endowments had always astonished as much as it had
irritated me.
I had not learnt then what I fully learnt afterwards, that in this
life it is mostly the dull and stupid people who dominate the clever
ones—that it is, in short, the fools who govern the world.
I should, of course, never have gone to Belgrave Square at all had it
not been to see my mother. Such a commonplace slave of convention was
my aunt, that, on the evening I am now mentioning, she had scarcely
spoken to me during dinner, because, having been detained at the
solicitor's, I had found it quite impossible to go to my hotel to
dress for her ridiculous seven o'clock dinner.
When I found that my mother had actually taken this inferior woman
into her confidence in regard to my affairs and told her all about
Winnie and the cross, my dislike of her became intensified, and on
this evening my mother very much vexed me in the drawing-room by
taking the cross from a cabinet and saying to me,
'What is now to be done with this? All along the coast there are such
notions about its value that to replace it in the tomb would be
simple madness.' I made no reply. 'Indeed,' she continued, looking at
the amulet as she might have looked at a cobra uprearing its head to
spring at her, 'it must really be priceless. And to think that all
this was to be buried in the coffin of—! It is your charge,
however, and not mine.'
'Yes, mother,' I said, 'it is my charge;' and taking up the cross I
wrapped it in my handkerchief.
'Take the amulet and guard it well,' she said, as I placed it
carefully in the breast pocket of my coat.
'And remember,' said my aunt, breaking into the conversation, 'that
the true curses of the Aylwins are and always have been superstition
and love-madness.'
'I should have added a third curse,—pride, aunt,' I could not help
replying.
'Henry,' said she, pursing her thin lips, 'you have the obstinacy and
the courage of your race, that is to say, you have the obstinacy and
the courage of ten ordinary men, and yet a man you are not—a man you
will never be, if strength of character, and self-mastery and power
to withstand the inevitable trials of life, go to the making of a
man.'
'Pardon me, aunt; but such trials as mine are beyond your
comprehension.'
'Are they, boy?' said she. 'This fancy of yours for an insignificant
girl—this boyish infatuation which with any other young man of your
rank would have long ago exhausted itself and been forgotten—is a
passion that absorbs your life. And I tremble for you: I tremble for
the house you represent.'
But I saw by the expression on my mother's face that my aunt had now
gone too far. 'Prue,' she said, 'your tremblings concerning my son
and my family are, I assure you, gratuitous. Such trembling as the
case demands you had better leave to me. My heart tells me I have
been very wrong to that poor child, and I would give much to know
that she was found and that she was well.'
I set out to walk to my hotel, wondering how I was to while away the
long night until sleep should come to relieve me. Suddenly I
remembered D'Arcy, and my promise to call upon him. I changed my
course, and hailing a hansom drove to the address he had given me.
When I reached the door I found, upon looking at my watch, that it
was late—so late that I was dubious whether I should ring the bell.
I remembered, however, that he told me how very late his hours were,
and I rang.
On sending in my card I was shown at once into the studio, and after
threading my way between some pieces of massive furniture and
pictures upon easels, I found D'Arcy lolling lazily upon a huge sofa.
Seeing that he was not alone, I was about to withdraw, for I was in
no mood to meet strangers. However, he sprang up and introduced me to
his guest, whom he called Symonds, an elegant-looking man in a
peculiar kind of evening dress, who, as I afterwards learned, was one
of Mr. D'Arcy's chief buyers. This gentleman bowed stiffly to me.
He did not stay long; indeed, it was evident that the appearance of a
stranger somewhat disconcerted him.
After he was gone D'Arcy said, 'A good fellow! One of my most
important buyers. I should like you to know him, for you and I are
going to be friends. I hope.'
He seems very fond of pictures,' I said. A man of great taste, with a
real love of art and music.'
In a little while after this gentleman's departure in came De Castro,
who had driven up in a hansom. I certainly saw a flash of anger in
his eyes as he recognised me, but it vanished like lightning, and his
manner became cordiality itself. Late as it was (it was nearly
twelve), he pulled out his cigarette case, and evidently intended to
begin the evening. As soon as he was told that Mr. Symonds had been,
he began to talk about him in a disparaging manner. Evidently his
metier was, as I had surmised, that of a professional talker. Talk
was his stock-in-trade.
The night wore on, and De Castro in the intervals of his talk kept
pulling out his watch. It was evident that he wanted to be going, but
was reluctant to leave me there. For my part, I frequently rose to
go, but on getting a sign from D'Arcy that he wished me to stay I sat
down again. At last D'Arcy said,
'You had better go now, De Castro, you have kept that hansom outside
for more than an hour and a half; and besides, if you stay till
daylight our friend here will stay longer, for I want to talk with
him alone.'
De Castro got up with a laugh that seemed genuine enough, and left
us.
D'Arcy, who was still on the sofa, then lapsed into a silence that
became after a while rather awkward. He lay there, gazing
abstractedly at the fireplace.
'Some of my friends call me, as you heard De Castro say the other
night, Haroun-al-Raschid, and I suppose I am like him in some things.
I am a bad sleeper, and to be amused by De Castro when I can't sleep
is the chief of blessings. De Castro, however, is not so bad as he
seems. A man may be a scandal-monger without being really malignant.
I have known him go out of his way to do a struggling man a service.'
'You are a bad sleeper?' I said, in a tone that proclaimed at once
that I was a bad sleeper also.
'Yes,' said he, 'and so are you, as I noticed the other night. I can
always tell. There is something in the eyes when a man is a bad
sleeper that proclaims it to me.'
Then springing up from the divan and laying his hand upon my
shoulder, he said, 'And you have a great trouble at the heart. You
have had some great loss the effect of which is sapping the very
fountains of your life. We should be friends. We must be friends. I
asked you to call upon me because we must be friends.'
His voice was so tender that I was almost unmanned.
I will not dwell upon this part of my narrative; I will only say that
I told him something of my story, and he told me his.
I told him that a terrible trouble had unhinged the mind of a young
lady whom I deeply loved, and that she had been lost on the Welsh
hills. I felt that it was only right that I should know more of him
before giving him the more intimate details connected with Winnie,
myself, and the secrets of my family. He listened to every word with
the deepest attention and sympathy. After a while he said,
'You must not go to your hotel to-night. A friend of mine who
occupies two rooms is not sleeping here to-night, and I particularly
wish for you to take his bed, so that I can see you in the morning.
We shall not breakfast together. My breakfast is a peculiarly
irregular meal. But when you wake ring your bedroom bell and order
your own breakfast; afterwards we shall meet in the studio.'
I did not in the least object to this arrangement, for I found his
society a great relief.
Next morning, after I had finished my solitary breakfast, I asked the
servant if Mr. D'Arcy had yet risen. On being told that he had not, I
went downstairs into the studio where I had spent the previous
evening. After examining the pictures on the walls and the easels, I
walked to the window and looked out at the garden. It was large, and
so neglected and untrimmed as to be a veritable wilderness. While I
was marvelling why it should have been left in this state, I saw the
eyes of some animal staring at me from the distance, and was soon
astonished to see that they belonged to a little Indian bull. My
curiosity induced me to go into the garden and look at the creature.
He seemed rather threatening at first, but after a while allowed me
to go up to him and stroke him. Then I left the Indian bull and
explored this extraordinary domain. It was full of unkempt trees,
including two fine mulberries, and surrounded by a very high wall.
Soon I came across an object which, at first, seemed a little mass of
black and white oats moving along, but I presently discovered it to
be a hedgehog. It was so tame that it did not curl up as I approached
it, but allowed me, though with some show of nervousness, to stroke
its pretty little black snout. As I walked about the garden, I found
it was populated with several kinds of animals such as are never seen
except in menageries or in the Zoological Gardens. Wombats,
kangaroos, and the like, formed a kind of happy family.
My love of animals led me to linger in the garden. When I returned to
the house I found D'Arcy in the green dining-room, where we talked,
and he read aloud some verses to me. We then went to the studio. He
said,
'No doubt you are surprised at my menagerie. Every man has one side
of his character where the child remains. I have a love of animals
which, I suppose, I may call a passion. The kind of amusement they
can afford me is like none other. It is the self-consciousness of men
and women that makes them, in a general way, intensely unamusing. I
turn from them to the unconscious brutes, and often get a world of
enjoyment. To watch a kitten or a puppy play, or the funny antics of
a parrot or a cockatoo, or the wise movements of a wombat, will keep
me for hours from being bored.'
'And children,' I said—'do you like children?'
'Yes, so long as they remain like the young animals—until they
become self-conscious, I mean, and that is very soon. Then their
charm goes. Has it ever occurred to you how fascinating a beautiful
young girl would be if she were as unconscious as a young animal?
What makes you sigh?'
My thoughts had flown to Winifred breakfasting with her 'Prince of
the Mist' on Snowdon. And I said to myself, 'How he would have been
fascinated by a sight like that!'
My experience of men at that time was so slight that the opinion I
then formed of D'Arcy as a talker was not of much account. But since
then I have seen very much of men, and I find that I was right in the
view I then took of his conversational powers. When his spirits were
at their highest he was without an equal as a wit, without an equal
as a humourist. He had more than even Cyril Aylwin's quickness of
repartee, and it was of an incomparably rarer quality. To define it
would be, of course, impossible, but I might perhaps call it poetic
fancy suddenly stimulated at moments by animal spirits into rapid
movements—so rapid, indeed, that what in slower movement would be
merely fancy, in him became wit. Beneath the coruscations of this wit
a rare and deep intellect was always perceptible.
His humour was also so fanciful that it seemed poetry at play, but
here was the remarkable thing: although he was not unconscious of his
other gifts, he did not seem to be in the least aware that he was a
humourist of the first order; every jeu d'esprit seemed to leap
from him involuntarily, like the spray from a fountain. A dull man
like myself must not attempt to reproduce these qualities here.
While he was talking he kept on painting, and I said to him, 'I can't
understand how you can keep up a conversation while you are at work.'
I took care not to tell him that I was an amateur painter.
'It is only when the work that I am on is in some degree mechanical
that I can talk while at work. These flowers, which were brought to
me this morning for my use in painting this picture, will very soon
wither, and I can put them into the picture without being disturbed
by talk; but if I were at work upon this face, if I were putting
dramatic expression into these eyes, I should have to be silent.'
He then went on talking upon art and poetry, letting fall at every
moment gems of criticism that would have made the fortune of a critic.
After a while, however, he threw down the brush and said,
'Sometimes I can paint with another man in the studio; sometimes I
can't.'
I rose to go.
'No, no,' he said; 'I don't want you to go, yet I don't like keeping
you in this musty studio on such a morning. Suppose we take a stroll
together.'
'But you never walk out in the daytime.'
'Not often; indeed, I may say never, unless it is to go to the Zoo,
or to Jamrach's, which I do about once in three months.'
'Jamrach's!' I said. 'Why, he's the importer of animals, isn't he? Of
all places in London that is the one I should most like to see.' He
then took me into a long panelled room with bay windows looking over
the Thames, furnished with remarkable Chinese chairs and tables. And
then we left the house.
In Maud Street a hansom passed us; D'Arcy hailed it.
'We will take this to the Bank,' said he, 'and then walk through the
East End to Jamrach's. Jump in.'
As we drove off, the sun was shining brilliantly, and London seemed
very animated—seemed to be enjoying itself. Until we reached the
Bank our drive was through all the most cheerful-looking and
prosperous streets of London. It acted like a tonic on me, and for
the first time since my trouble I felt really exhilarated. As to
D'Arcy, after we had left behind us what he called the 'stucco world'
of the West End, his spirits seemed to rise every minute, and by the
time we reached the Strand he was as boisterous as a boy on a
holiday.
On reaching the Bank we dismissed the hansom and proceeded to walk to
Ratcliffe Highway. Before reaching it I was appalled at the
forbidding aspect of the neighbourhood. It was not merely that the
unsavoury character of the streets offended and disgusted me, but the
locality wore a sinister aspect which acted upon my imagination in
the strangest, wildest way. Why was it that this aspect fairly cowed
me, scared me? I felt that I was not frightened on my own account,
and yet when I asked myself why I was frightened I could not find a
rational answer.
As I saw the sailors come noisily from their boarding-houses; as I
saw the loafers standing at the street corners, smoking their dirty
pipes and gazing at us; as I saw the tawdry girls, bare-headed or in
flaunting hats covered with garish flowers, my thoughts, for no
conceivable reason, ran upon Winnie more persistently than they had
run upon her since I had abandoned all hope of seeing her in Wales.
The thought came to me that, grievous as was her fate and mine, the
tragedy of our lives might have been still worse.
'Suppose,' I said, 'that instead of being lost in the Welsh hills she
had been lost here!' I shuddered at the thought.
Again that picture in the Welsh pool came to me, the picture of
Winnie standing at a street corner, offering matches for sale. D'Arcy
then got talking about Sinfi Lovell and her strange superiority in
every respect to the few Gypsy women he had seen.
'She has,' said he, 'mesmeric power; it is only semiconscious, but it
is mesmeric. She exercises it partly through her gaze and partly
through her voice.'
He was still talking about Sinfi when a river-boy, who was whistling
with extraordinary brilliancy and gusto, met and passed us. Not a
word more of D'Arcy's talk did I hear, for the boy was whistling the
very air to which Winnie used to sing the Snowdon song
I met in a glade a lone little maid
At the foot of y Wyddfa the white.
I ran after the boy and asked him what tune he was whistling.
'What tune?' he said, 'blowed if I know.'
'Where did you hear it?' I asked.
'Well, there used to be a gal, a kind of a beggar gal, as lived not
far from 'ere for a little while, but she's gone away now, and she
used to sing that tune. I allas remember tunes, but I never could
make out anything of the words.'
D'Arcy laughed at my eccentricity in running after the boy to learn
where he had got a tune. But I did not tell him why.
After we had passed some way down Ratcliffe Highway, D'Arcy said,
'Here we are then,' and pointed to a shop, or rather two shops, on
the opposite side of the street. One window was filled with caged
birds; the other with specimens of beautiful Oriental pottery and
grotesque curiosities in the shape of Chinese and Japanese statues
and carvings.
My brain still rang with the air I had heard the river-boy whistling,
but I felt that I must talk about something.
'It is here that you buy your wonderful curiosities and porcelain!' I
said.
'Partly; but there is not a curiosity shop in London that I have not
ransacked in my time.'
The shop we now entered reminded me of that Raxton Fair which was so
much associated with Winnie. Its chief attraction was the advent of
Wombwell's menagerie. From the first moment that the couriers of that
august establishment came to paste their enormous placards on the
walls, down to the sad morning when the caravans left the
market-place, Winnie and I and Rhona Boswell had talked 'Wombwell.'
It was not merely that the large pictures of the wild animals in
action, the more than brassy sound of the cracked brass band,
delighted our eyes and ears. Our olfactories also were charmed. The
mousy scent of the animals mixed with the scent of sawdust, which to
adults was so objectionable, was characterised by us as delicious.
All these Wombwell delights came back to me as we entered Jamrach's,
and for a time the picture of Winifred prevented my seeing the famous
shop. When this passed I saw that the walls of the large room were
covered from top to bottom with cages, some of them full of wonderful
or beautiful birds, and others full of evil-faced, screeching
monkeys.
While D'Arcy was amusing himself with a blue-faced rib-nosed baboon,
I asked Mr. Jamrach, an extremely intelligent man, about the singing
girl and the Welsh air. But he could tell me nothing, and evidently
thought I had been hoaxed.
In a small case by itself was a beautiful jewelled cross, which
attracted D'Arcy's attention very much.
'This is not much in your line,' he said to Jamrach.'This is
European.'
'It came to me from Morocco,' said Jamrach, 'and it was no doubt
taken by a Morocco pirate from some Venetian captive.'
'It is a diamond and ruby cross,' said D'Arcy, 'but mixed with the
rubies there are beryls. I am at this moment describing a beryl in
some verses. The setting of the stones is surely quite peculiar.'
'Yes,' said Jamrach. 'It is the curiosity of the setting more than
the value of the gems which caused it to be sent to me. I have
offered it to the London jewellers, but they will only give me the
market-price of the stones and the gold.'
While he was talking I pulled out of my breast pocket the cross,
which had remained there since I received it from my mother the
evening before.
'They are very much alike,' said Jamrach; 'but the setting of these
stones is more extraordinary than in mine. And of course they are
more than fifty times as valuable.'
D'Arcy turned round to see what we were talking about, when he saw
the cross in my hand, and an expression of something like awe came
over his face.
'The Moonlight Cross of the Gnostics!' he exclaimed. 'You carry this
about in your breast pocket? Put it away, put it away! The thing
seems to be alive.'
In a second, however, and before I could answer him, the expression
passed from his face, and he took the cross from my hands and
examined it.
'This is the most beautiful piece of jewel work I ever saw in my
life. I have heard of such things. The Gnostic art of arranging
jewels so that they will catch the moon-rays and answer them as
though the light were that of the sun, is quite lost.'
We then went and examined Jamrach's menagerie. I found that one
source of the interest D'Arcy took in animals was that he was a
believer in Baptista Porta's whimsical theory that every human
creature resembles one of the lower animals, and he found a perennial
amusement in seeing in the faces of animals caricatures of his
friends.
With a fund of humour that was exhaustless, he went from cage to
cage, giving to each animal the name of some member of the Royal
Academy, or of one of his own intimate friends.
On leaving Jamrach's he said to me, 'Suppose we make a day of it and
go to the Zoo?'
I agreed, and we took a hansom as soon as we could get one and drove
across London towards Regent's Park.
Here the pleasure that he took in watching the movements of the
animals was so great that it seemed impossible but that he was
visiting the Zoo for the first time. I remembered, however, that he
had told me in the morning how frequently he went to these gardens.
But his interest in the animals was unlike my own, and I should
suppose unlike the interest of any other man. He had no knowledge
whatever of zoology, and appeared to wish for none. His pleasure
consisted in watching the curious expressions and movements of the
animals and in dramatising them.
On leaving the Zoo, I said, 'The cross you were just now looking at
is as remarkable for its history as for its beauty. It was stolen
from the tomb of a near relative of mine. I was under a solemn
promise to the person upon whose breast it lay to see that it should
never be disturbed. But, now that it has been disturbed, to replace
it in the tomb would, I fear, be to insure another sacrilege. I
wonder what you would do in such a case?'
He looked at me and said, 'As it is evident that we are going to be
intimate friends, I may as well confess to you at once that I am a
mystic.'
'When did you become so?'
'When? Ask any man who has passionately loved a woman and lost her;
ask him at what moment mysticism was forced upon him—at what moment
he felt that he must either accept a spiritualistic theory of the
universe or go mad; ask him this, and he will tell you that it was at
that moment when he first looked upon her as she lay dead, with
Corruption's foul fingers waiting to soil and stain. What are you
going to do with the cross?'
'Lock it up as safely as I can,' I said; 'what else is there to do
with it?'
He looked into my face and said, 'You are a rationalist.'
'I am.'
'You do not believe in a supernatural world?'
'My disbelief of it,' I said, 'is something more than an exercise of
the reason. It is a passion, an angry passion. But what should you do
with the cross if you were in my place?'
'Put it back in the tomb.'
I had great difficulty in suppressing my ridicule, but I merely said,
'That would be, as I have told you, to insure its being stolen
again.'
'There is the promise to the dead man or woman on whose breast it
lay.'
'This I intend to keep in the spirit like a reasonable man—not in
the letter like—'
'Promises to the dead must be kept to the letter, or no peace can
come to the bereaved heart. You are talking to a man who knows!'
'I will commit no such outrage upon reason as to place a priceless
jewel in a place where I know it will be stolen.'
'You will replace the cross in that tomb.'
As he spoke he shook my hands warmly, and said, 'Au revoir.
Remember, I shall always be delighted to see you.'
It was not till I saw him disappear amongst the crowd that I could
give way to the laughter which I had so much difficulty in
suppressing. What a relief it was to be able to do this!
THE SONG OF Y WYDDFA
After this I had one or two interviews with our solicitor in
Lincoln's Inn Fields, upon important family matters connected with my
late uncle's property.
I had been one night to the theatre with my mother and my aunt. The
house had been unusually crowded. When the performance was over, we
found that the streets were deluged with rain. Our carriage had been
called some time before it drew up, and we were standing under the
portico amid a crowd of impatient ladies when a sound fell or seemed
to fall on my ears which stopped for the moment the very movements of
life. Amid the rattle of wheels and horses' feet and cries of
messengers about carriages and cabs, I seemed to distinguish a female
voice singing:
'I met in a glade a lone little maid.
At the foot of y Wyddfa the white;
Oh, lissom her feet as the mountain hind,
And darker her hair than the night!'
It was the voice of Winifred singing as in a dream.
I heard my aunt say,
'Do look at that poor girl singing and holding out her little
baskets! She must be crazed to be offering baskets for sale in this
rain and at this time of night.'
I turned my eyes in the direction in which my aunt was looking, but
the crowd before me prevented my seeing the singer.
'She is gone, vanished,' said my aunt sharply, for my eagerness to
see made me rude.
'What was she like?' I asked.
'She was a young slender girl, holding out a bunch of small fancy
baskets of woven colours, through which the rain was dripping. She
was dressed in rags, and through the rags shone, here and there,
patches of her shoulders; and she wore a dingy red handkerchief round
her head. She stood in the wet and mud, beneath the lamp, quite
unconscious apparently of the bustle and confusion around her.'
Almost at the same moment our carriage drew up. I lingered on the
step as long as possible. My mother made a sign of impatience at the
delay, and I got into the carriage. Spite of the rain, I put down the
window and leaned out. I forgot the presence of my mother and aunt. I
forgot everything. The carriage moved on.
'Winifred!' I gasped, as the certainty that the voice was hers came
upon me.
And the dingy London night became illuminated with scrolls of fire,
whose blinding, blasting scripture seared my eyes till I was fain to
close them: 'Let his children be vagabonds, and beg their bread: let
them seek it also out of desolate places.'
So rapidly had the carriage rolled through the rain, and so entirely
had my long pain robbed me of all presence of mind, that, by the time
I had recovered from the paralysing shock, we had reached Piccadilly
Circus. I pulled the check-string.
'Why, Henry!' said my mother, who had raised the window, 'what are
you doing? And what has made you turn so pale?'
My aunt sat in indignant silence. 'Ten thousand pardons,' I said, as
I stepped out of the carriage, and shook hands with them. 'A sudden
recollection—important papers unsecured at my hotel—business in—in
Lincoln's Inn Fields. I will call on you in the morning.'
And I reeled down the pavement towards the Haymarket. When I was some
little distance from the carriage, I took to my heels and hurried as
fast as possible towards the theatre, utterly regardless of the
people. I reached the spot breathless. I stood for a moment staring
wildly to right and left of me. Not a trace of her was to be seen. I
heard a thin voice from my lips, that did not seem my own, ask a
policeman, who was now patrolling the neighbourhood, if he had seen a
basket-girl singing.
'No,' said the man, 'but I fancy you mean the Essex Street Beauty,
don't you? I haven't seen her for a long while now, but her dodge
used to be to come here on rainy nights, and stand bare-headed and
sing and sell just when the theatres was a-bustin'. She gets a good
lot, I fancy, by that dodge.'
'The Essex Street Beauty?'
'Oh, I thought you know'd p'raps. She's a strornary pretty
beggar-wench, with blue eyes and black hair, as used to stand at the
corner of Essex Street, Strand, and the money as that gal got
a-holdin' out her matches and a-sayin' texes out of the Bible must
ha' been strornary. So the Essex Street Beauty's bin about here agin
on the rainy-night dodge, 'es she? Well, it must have been the fust
time for many a long day, for I've never seen her now for a long
time. She couldn't ha' stood about here for many minutes; if she had
I must ha' seen her.'
I staggered away from him, and passed and repassed the spot many
times. Then I extended my beat about the neighbouring streets,
loitering at every corner where a basket-girl or a flower-girl might
be likely to stand. But no trace of her was to be seen. Meantime the
rain had ceased.
All the frightful stories that I had heard or read of the kidnapping
of girls came pouring into my mind, till my blood boiled and my knees
trembled. Imagination was stinging me to life's very core. Every few
minutes I would pass the theatre, and look towards the portico.
The night wore on, and I was unconscious how the time passed. It was
not till daybreak that I returned to my hotel, pale, weary, bent.
I threw myself upon my bed: it scorched me.
I could not think. At present I could only see—see what? At one
moment a squalid attic, the starlight shining through patched
window-panes upon a lonely mattress, on which a starving girl was
lying; at another moment a cellar damp and dark, in one corner of
which a youthful figure was crouching; and then (most intolerable of
all!) a flaring gin-palace, where, among a noisy crowd, a face was
looking wistfully on, while coarse and vulgar men were clustering
with cruel, wolfish eyes around a beggar-girl. This I saw and
more—a thousand things more.
It was insupportable. I rose and again paced the street.
When I called upon my mother she asked me anxious questions as to
what had ailed me the previous night. Seeing, however, that I
avoided replying to them, she left me after a while in peace.
'Fancy,' said my aunt, who was writing a letter at a little desk
between two windows,—'fancy an Aylwin pulling the check-string, and
then, with ladies in the carriage and the rain pouring—'
During that day how many times I passed in front of the theatre I
cannot say; but at last I thought the very men in the shops must be
observing me. Again, though I half poisoned myself with my drug, I
passed a sleepless night. The next night was passed in almost the
same manner as the previous one.
From this time I felt working within me a great change. A horrible
new thought got entire possession of me. Wherever I went I could
think of nothing but—the curse. I scorned the monstrous idea of a
curse, and yet I was always thinking about it. I was always seeking
Winifred—always speculating on her possible fate. I saw no one in
society.
My time was now largely occupied with wandering about the streets of
London. I began by exploring the vicinity of the theatre, and day
after day used to thread the alleys and courts in that neighbourhood.
Then I took the eastern direction, and soon became familiar with the
most squalid haunts.
My method was to wander from street to street, looking at every
poorly-dressed girl I met. Often I was greeted with an impudent
laugh, that brought back the sickening mental pictures I have
mentioned; and often I was greeted with an angry toss of the head and
such an exclamation as, 'What d'ye take me for, staring like that?'
These peregrinations I used to carry far into the night, and thus, as
I perceived, got the character at my hotel of a wild young man. The
family solicitor wrote to me again and again for appointments which I
could not give him.
It had often occurred to me that in a case of this kind the police
ought to be of some assistance. One day I called at Scotland Yard,
saw an official, and asked his aid. He listened to my story
attentively, then said: 'Do you come from the missing party's
friends, sir?'
'I am her friend,' I answered—'her only friend.'
'I mean, of course, do you represent her father or mother, or any
near relative?'
'She is an orphan; she has no relatives,' I said.
He looked at me steadily and said: 'I am sorry, sir, that neither I
nor a magistrate could do anything to aid you.'
'You can do nothing to aid me?' I asked angrily.
'I can do nothing to aid you, sir, in identifying a young woman you
once heard sing in the streets of London, with a lady you saw once on
the top of Snowdon.'
As I was leaving the office, he said: 'One moment, sir. I don't see
how I can take up this case for you, but I may make a suggestion. I
have an idea that you would do well to pursue inquiries among the
Gypsies.'
'Gypsies!' I said with great heat, as I left the office. 'If you knew
how I had already "pursued inquiries" among the Gypsies, you would
understand how barren is your suggestion.'
Weeks passed in this way. My aunt's ill-health became rather serious:
my mother too was still very unwell. I afterwards learnt that her
illness was really the result of the dire conflict in her breast
between the old passion of pride and the new invader remorse. There
were, no doubt, many discussions between them concerning me. I could
see plainly enough they both thought my mind was becoming unhinged.
One night, as I lay thinking over the insoluble mystery of Winifred's
disappearance, I was struck by a sudden thought that caused me to
leap from my bed. What could have led the official in Scotland Yard
to connect Winifred with Gypsies? I had simply told him of her
disappearance on Snowdon, and her reappearance afterwards near the
theatre. Not one word had I said to him about her early relations
with Gypsies. I was impatient for the daylight, in order that I might
go to Scotland Yard again. When I did so and saw the official, I
asked him without preamble what had caused him to connect the missing
girl I was seeking with the Gypsies.
'The little fancy baskets she was selling,' said he. 'They are often
made by Gypsies.'
'Of course they are,' I said, hurrying away. 'Why did I not think of
this?'
In fact I had, during our wanderings over England and Wales, often
seen Sinfi's sister Videy and Rhona Boswell weaving such baskets.
Winifred, after all, might be among the Gypsies, and the crafty Videy
Lovell might have some mysterious connection with her; for she
detested me as much as she loved the gold 'balansers' she could
wheedle out of me. Moreover, there were in England the Hungarian
Gypsies, with their notions about demented girls, and the Lovells,
owing to Sinfi's musical proclivities, were just now much connected
with a Hungarian troupe.
SINFI'S DUKKERIPEN
The Gypsies I had never seen since leaving them in Wales, and I knew
that by this time they were either making their circuit of the
English fairs or located in a certain romantic spot called Gypsy
Dell, near Rington Manor, the property of my kinsman Percy Aylwin,
whither they often went after the earlier fairs were over.
The next evening I went to the Great Eastern Railway station, and
taking the train to Rington I walked to Gypsy Dell, where I found the
Lovells and Boswells.
Familiar as I was with, the better class of Welsh Gypsies, the camp
here was the best display of Romany well-being I had ever seen. It
would, indeed, have surprised those who associate all Gypsy life with
the squalor which in England, and especially near London, marks the
life of the mongrel wanderers who are so often called Gypsies. In a
lovely dingle, skirted by a winding, willow-bordered river, and
dotted here and there with clumps of hawthorn, were ranged the
'living-waggons' of those trading Romanies who had accompanied the
'Griengroes' to the East Anglian and Midland fairs.
Alongside the waggons was a single large brown tent that for
luxuriousness might have been the envy of all Gypsydom. On the
hawthorn bushes and the grass was spread, instead of the poor rags
that one often sees around a so-called Gypsy encampment, snowy
linen, newly washed. The ponies and horses were scattered about the
Dell feeding.
I soon distinguished Sinfi's commanding figure near that gorgeous
living-waggon of 'orange-yellow colour with red window-blinds' in
which she had persuaded me to invest my money at Chester. On the
foot-board sat two urchins of the Lovell family, 'making believe' to
drive imaginary horses, and yelling with all their might to Rhona
Boswell, whose laugh, musical as ever, showed that she enjoyed the
game as much as the children did. Sinfi was standing on a patch of
that peculiar kind of black ash which burnt grass makes, busy with a
fire, over which a tea-kettle was hanging from the usual iron
kettle-prop. Among the ashes left by a previous fire her bantam-cock
Pharaoh was busy pecking, scratching, and calling up imaginary hens
to feast upon his imaginary 'finds.' I entered the Dell, and before
Sinfi saw me I was close to her.
She was muttering to the refractory fire as though it were a live
thing, and asking it why it refused to burn beneath the kettle. A
startled look, partly of pleasure and partly of something like alarm,
came over her face as she perceived me. I drew her aside and told her
all that had happened in regard to Winifred's appearance as a beggar
in London. A strange expression that was new to me overspread her
features, and I thought I heard her whisper to herself, 'I will, I
will.'
'I knowed the cuss 'ud ha' to ha' its way in the blood, like the bite
of a sap' [snake], she murmured to herself. 'And yit the dukkeripen
on Snowdon said, clear and plain enough, as they'd surely marry at
last. What's become o' the stolen trúshul, brother—the cross?' she
inquired aloud. 'That trúshul will ha' to be given to the dead man
agin, an' it'll ha' to be given back by his chavo [child] as swore to
keep watch over it. But what's it all to me?' she said in a tone of
suppressed anger that startled me. 'I ain't a Gorgie,'
'But, Sinfi, the cross cannot be buried again. The reason I have not
replaced it in the tomb,—the reason I never will replace it
there,—is that the people along the coast know now of the existence
of the jewel, and know also of my father's wishes. If it was unsafe
in the tomb when only Winnie's father knew of it, it would be a
thousandfold more unsafe now.'
'P'raps that's all the better for her an' you: the new thief takes
the cuss.'
'This is all folly,' I replied, with the anger of one struggling
against an unwelcome half-belief that refuses to be dismissed. 'It is
all moonshine-madness. I'll never do it,—not at least while I retain
my reason. It was no doubt partly for safety as well as for the other
reason that my father wished the cross to be placed in the tomb. It
will be far safer now in a cabinet than anywhere else.'
'Reia,' said Sinfi, 'you told me wonst as your great-grandmother
was a Romany named Fenella Stanley. I have axed the Scollard
about her, and what do you think he says? He says that she wur my
great-grandmother too, for she married a Lovell as died.'
'Good heavens, Sinfi! Well, I'm proud of my kinswoman.'
'And he says that Fenella Stanley know'd more about the true
dukkerin, the dukkerin of the Romanies, than anybody as were ever
heerd on.'
'She seems to have been pretty superstitious,' I said, 'by all
accounts. But what has that to do with the cross?'
'You'll put it in the tomb again.'
'Never!'
'Fenella Stanley will see arter that.'
'Fenella Stanley! Why, she's dead and dust.'
'That's what I mean; that's why she can make you do it, and will.'
'Well, well! I did not come to talk about the cross; I want to have
a quiet word with you about another matter.'
She sprang away as if in terror or else in anger. Then recovering
herself she took the kettle from the prop. I followed her to the
tent, which, save that it was made of brown blanket, looked more like
a tent on a lawn than a Gypsy-tent. All its comfort seemed, however,
to give no great delight to Videy, the cashier and female
financier-general of the Lovell family, who, in a state of absorbed
untidiness, sitting at the end of the tent upon a palliasse covered
with a counterpane of quilted cloth of every hue, was evidently
occupied in calculating her father's profits and losses at the recent
horse-fair. The moment Videy saw us she hurriedly threw the coin into
the silver tea-pot by her side, and put it beneath the counterpane,
with that instinctive and unnecessary secrecy which characterised
her, and made her such an amazing contrast both to her sister Sinfi
and to Rhona Boswell.
After Panuel had received me in his usual friendly manner, we all sat
down, partly inside the tent and partly outside, around the white
table-cloth that had been spread upon the grass. The Scollard took no
note of me; he had no eyes for any one but Rhona Boswell.
When tea was over Sinfi left the camp, and strode across the Dell
towards the river. I followed her.
It was not till we reached a turn in the river that is more secluded
than any other—a spot called 'Gypsy Ring,' a lovely little spot
within the hollow of birch trees and gorse—that she spoke a few
words to me, in a constrained tone. Then I said, as we sat down upon
a green hillock within the Ring: 'Sinfi, the baskets my aunt saw in
Winnie's hand when she was standing in the rain were of the very kind
that Videy makes.'
'Oh, that's what you wanted to say!' said she; 'you think Videy
knows something about Winnie. But that's all a fancy o' yourn, and
it's of no use looking for Winnie any more among the Romanies. Even
supposin' you did hear the Welsh gillie—and I think it was all a
fancy—you can't make nothin' out o' them baskets as your aunt seed.
Us Romanies don't make one in a hundud of the fancy baskets as is
sold for Gypsy baskets in the streets, and besides, the hawkers and
costers what buys 'em of us sells 'em agin to other hawkers and
costers, and there ain't no tracin' on 'em.'
I argued the point with her. At last I felt convinced that I was
again on the wrong track. By this time the sun had set, and the stars
were out. I had noticed that during our talk Sinfi's attention would
sometimes seem to be distracted from the matter in hand, and I had
observed her give a little start now and then, as though listening to
something in the distance.
'What are you listening to?' I inquired at last. 'Reia,' said Sinfi,
'I've been a-listenin' to a v'ice as nobody can't hear on'y me, an'
I've bin a-seein' a face peepin' atween the leaves o' the trees as
nobody can't see on'y me; my mammy's been to me. I thought she would
come here. They say my mammy's mammy wur buried here, an' she wur the
child of Fenella, an' that's why it's called Gypsy Ring. The moment I
sat down in this Ring a mullo [spirit] come and whispered in my ear,
but I can't make out whether it's my mammy or Fenella Stanley, and I
can't make out what she said. It's hard sometimes for them as has to
gnaw their way out o' the groun' to get their words out clear.
[Footnote] Howsomever, this I do know, reia, you an' me must part. I
felt as we must part when we was in Wales togither last time, and now
I knows it.'
[Footnote: Some Romanies think that spirits rise from the ground.]
'Part, Sinfi! Not if I can prevent it.'
'Reia,' replied Sinfi emphatically, 'when I've wonst made up my mind,
you know it's made up for good an' all. When us two leaves this 'ere
Ring to-night, you'll turn your ways and I shall turn mine.'
I thought it best to let the subject drop. Perhaps by the time we had
left the Ring this mood would have passed. After a minute or so she
said,
'You needn't see no fear about not marryin' Winifred Wynne. You
must marry her; your dukkeripen on Snowdon didn't show itself there
for nothink. When you two was a-settin' by the pool, a-eatin' the
breakfiss, I was a-lookin' at you round the corner of the rock. I
seed a little kindlin' cloud break away and go floatin' over your
heads, and then it shaped itself into what us Romanies calls the
Golden Hand. You know what the Golden Hand means when it comes over
two sweethearts? You don't believe it? Ask Rhona Boswell! Here she
comes a-singin' to herself. She's trying to get away from that devil
of a Scollard as says she's bound to marry him. I've a good mind to
go and give him a left-hand body-blow in the ribs and settle him for
good and all. He means mischief to the Tarno Rye, and Rhona too.
Brother, I've noticed for a long while that the Romany blood is a
good deal stronger in you than the Gorgio blood. And now mark my
words, that cuss o' your feyther's'll work itself out. You'll go to
his grave and you'll jist put that trúshul back in that tomb, and
arter that, and not afore, you'll marry Winnie Wynne.'
Sinfi's creed did not surprise me: the mixture of guile and
simplicity in the Romany race is only understood by the few who know
it thoroughly: the race whose profession it is to cheat by
fortune-telling, to read the false 'dukkeripen' as being 'good enough
for the Gorgios,' believe profoundly in nature's symbols; but her
bearing did surprise me.
'Your dukkeripen will come true,' said she; 'but mine won't, for I
won't let it.'
'And what is yours?' I asked.
'That's nuther here nor there.'
Then she stood again as though listening to something, and again I
thought, as her lips moved, that I heard her whisper, 'I will, I
will.'
I had intended to go to London at once after leaving Gypsy Dell, but
something that Sinfi told me during our interview impelled me to go
on to Raxton Hall, which was so near. The fact that Sinfi was my
kinswoman opened up new and exciting vistas of thought.
I understood now what was that haunting sense of recognition which
came upon me when I first saw Sinfi at the wayside inn in Wales. Day
by day had proofs been pouring in upon me that the strain of Romany
blood in my veins was asserting itself with more and more force. Day
by day I had come to realise how closely, though the main current of
my blood was English, I was affined to the strange and mysterious
people among whom I was now thrown—the only people in these islands,
as it seemed to me, who would be able to understand a love-passion
like mine. And there were many things in the great race of my
forefathers which I had found not only unsympathetic to me, but
deeply repugnant. In Great Britain it is the Gypsies alone who
understand nature's supreme charm, and enjoy her largesse as it used
to be enjoyed in those remote times described in Percy Aylwin's poems
before the Children of the Roof invaded the Children of the Open Air,
before the earth was parcelled out into domains and ownerships as it
now is parcelled out. In the mind of the Gorgio, the most beautiful
landscape or the most breezy heath or the loveliest meadow-land is
cut up into allotments, whether of fifty thousand acres or of two
roods, and owned by people. Of ownership of land the Romany is
entirely unconscious. The landscape around him is part of Nature
herself, and the Romany on his part acknowledges no owner. No doubt
he yields to force majeure in the shape of gamekeeper or constable,
but that is because he has no power to resist it. Nature to him is as
free and unowned by man as it was to the North American Indian in his
wigwam before the invasion of the Children of the Roof.
During the time that I was staying in Flintshire and near Capel
Curig, rambling through the dells or fishing in the brooks, it was
surprising how soon the companionship of a Gorgio would begin to pall
upon me. And here the Cymric race is just as bad as the Saxon. The
same detestable habit of looking upon nature as a paying
market-garden, the same detestable inquiry as to who was the owner of
this or that glen or waterfall, was sure at last to make me sever
from him. But as to Sinfi, her attitude towards nature, though it was
only one of the charms that endeared her to me, was not the least of
them. There was scarcely a point upon which she and I did not touch.
And what about her lack of education? Was that a drawback? Not in the
least. The fact that she knew nothing of that traditional ignorance
which for ages has taken the name of knowledge—that record of the
foolish cosmogonies upon which have been built the philosophies and
the social systems of the blundering creature Man—the fact that she
knew nothing of these gave an especial piquancy to everything she
said. I had been trying to educate myself in the new and wonderful
cosmogony of growth which was first enunciated in the sixties, and
was going to be, as I firmly believed, the basis of a new philosophy,
a new system of ethics, a new poetry, a new everything. But in
knowledge of nature as a sublime consciousness, in knowledge of the
human heart, Sinfi was far more learned than I. And believing as I
did that education will in the twentieth century consist of
unlearning, of unlading the mind of the trash previously called
knowledge, I could not help feeling that Sinfi was far more advanced,
far more in harmony than I could hope to be With the new morning of
Life of which we are just beginning to see the streaks of dawn.
'I must go and see Fenella's portrait,' I said, as I Walked briskly
towards Raxton.
When I reached Raxton Hall I seemed to startle the butler and the
servants, as though I had come from the other world.
I told the butler that I should sleep there that night, and then went
at once to the picture gallery and stood before Reynolds' famous
picture of Fenella Stanley as the Sibyl. The likeness to Sinfi was
striking. How was it that it had not previously struck me more
forcibly? The painter had evidently seized the moment when Fenella's
eyes expressed that look of the seeress which Sinfi's eyes, on
occasion, so powerfully expressed. I stood motionless before it while
the rich, warm light of evening bathed it in a rosy radiance. And
when the twilight shadows fell upon it, and when the moon again lit
it up, I stood there still. The face seemed to pass into my very
being, and Sinfi's voice kept singing in my ears, 'Fenella Stanley's
dead and dust, and that's why she can make you put that cross in
your feyther's tomb, and she will, she will.'
I left the picture and went into the library: for I bethought me of
that sheaf of Fenella's letters to my great-grandfather which he had
kept so sacredly, and which had come to me as representative of the
family. My previous slight inspection of them had shown me what a
wonderful woman she was, how full of ideas the most original and the
most wild. The moment a Gypsy-woman has been taught to write there
comes upon her a passion for letter-writing.
Nothing could be more striking than the contrast between the
illiterate locutions and the eccentric orthography of Fenella's
letters and the subtle remarks and speculations upon the symbols of
nature.—the dukkeripen of the woods, the streams, the stars, and the
winds. But when I came to analyse the theories of man's place in
nature expressed in the ignorant language of this Romany heathen,
they seemed to me only another mode of expressing the mysticism of
the religious enthusiast Wilderspin, the more learned and
philosophic mysticism of my father, and the views of D'Arcy, the
dreamy painter.
As I rode back to London, I said to myself, 'What change has come
over me? What power has been gradually sapping my manhood? Why do I,
who was so self-reliant, long now so passionately for a friend to
whom to unburthen my soul—one who could give me a sympathy as deep
and true as that I got from Sinfi Lovell, and yet the sympathy of a
mind unclouded by ignorant superstitions?'
With the exception of D'Arcy, whose advice as to the disposal of the
cross had proclaimed him to be as superstitious as Sinfi herself, not
a single friend had I in all London. Indeed, besides Lord Sleaford (a
tall, burly man with the springy movement of a prize-tighter, with
blue-grey eyes, thick, close-cropped hair, and a flaxen moustache,
who had lately struck up a friendship with my mother) I had not even
an acquaintance. Cyril Aylwin, whom I had not seen since we parted in
Wales, was now on the Continent with Wilderspin. Strange as it may
seem, I looked forward with eagerness to the return of this
light-hearted jester. Cyril's sagacity and knowledge of the world had
impressed me in Wales; but his cynical attitude, whether genuine or
assumed, towards subjects connected with deep passion, had prevented
my confiding in him. He must, I knew, have gathered from Sinfi, and
from other sources, that I was mourning the loss of a Welsh girl in
humble life; but during our very brief intercourse in Wales neither
of us had mentioned the matter to the other. Now, however, in my
present dire strait I longed to call in the aid of his penetrative
mind.
ISIS AS HUMOURIST
On reaching London I resumed my wanderings through the London
streets. Bitter as these wanderings were, my real misery now did not
begin until I got to bed. Then began the terrible struggle of the
soul that wrestles with its ancestral fleshly prison—that prison
whose warders are the superstitions of bygone ages. 'Have you not
seen the curse literally fulfilled?' ancestral voices of the
blood—voices Romany and Gorgio—seemed whispering in my ears. 'Have
you not heard the voice of his daughter upon whose head the curse of
your dead father has fallen a beggar in the street, while not all
your love can succour her or reach her?'
And then my soul would cry out in its agony, 'Most true, Fenella
Stanley—most true, Philip Aylwin; but before I will succumb to such
a theory of the universe as yours, a theory which reason laughs at
and which laughs at reason, I will die—die by this hand of mine:
this flesh that imprisons me in a world of mocking delusion shall be
destroyed, but first the symbol itself of your wicked, cruel old
folly shall go.'
I would then leap from my bed, light a candle, unlock my cabinet,
take out the cross, and holding it aloft prepare to dash it against
the wall, when my hand would be arrested by the same ancestral
voices, Romany and Gorgio, whispering in my ears and at my heart,
'If you break that amulet, how shall you ever be able to see what
would be the effect upon Winnie's fate of its restoration to your
father's tomb?'
And then I would laugh aloud and mock the voices of Fenella Stanley
and Philip Aylwin and millions of other voices that echoed or
murmured or bellowed through half a million years, echoed or murmured
or bellowed from European halls and castles, from Gypsy tents, from
caves of palæolithic man.
'How shall you stay the curse from working in the blood of the
accursed one?' the voices would say. And then I would laugh again
till I feared the people in the hotel would hear me and take me for a
maniac.
But then my aunt's picture of a beggar-girl standing in the rain
would fill my eyes and the whispers would grow louder than the voice
of the North Sea in the March wind: 'Look at that. How dare you
leave undone anything, howsoever wild, which might seem to any
one—even to an illiterate Gypsy, even to a crazy mystic—a means of
finding Winifred? What is the meaning of the great instinct which has
always conquered the soul in its direst need—which has always driven
man when in the grip of unbearable calamity to believe in powers that
are unseen? What though that scientific reason of yours tells you
that Winifred's misfortunes have nothing to do with any curse? what
though your reason tells you that all these calamities may be read as
being the perfectly natural results of perfectly natural causes? Is
the voice of man's puny reason clothed with such authority that it
dares to answer his heart, which knows nothing but that it bleeds?
The terrible facts of the case may be read in two ways. With an
inscrutable symmetry these facts may and do fit in with the universal
theory of the power of the spirit-world to execute a curse from the
grave. Look at that beggar in the street! How dare you ignore the
theory of the sorrowing soul, the logic of the lacerated heart, even
though your reason laughs it to scorn?'
And then at last my laughter would turn to moans, and, replacing the
cross in the cabinet, I would creep hack to my bed ashamed, like a
guilty thing—ashamed before myself.
But the more I felt at my throat the claws of the ancestral ogre
Superstition, the more enraged I became with myself for feeling them
there. And the auger against my ancestors' mysticism grew with the
growing consciousness that I was rapidly yielding to the very same
mysticism myself. And then I would get up again and take from my
escritoire the sheaf of Fenella Stanley's letters which I had brought
from Raxton, and read again those stories about curses, such as that
about the withering of a Romany family under a dead man's curse which
Winnie had described to me that night on the sands.
I was delighted to be told by Sleaford, whom I met one afternoon in
Piccadilly, that Cyril had returned to London within the last few
days. 'He is appointed artist-in-chief of the new comic paper, The
Caricaturist, said Sleaford, 'and is in great feather. I have just
been calling upon him.'
'The very man I want to see,' I replied. Sleaford thereupon directed
me to Cyril's studio 'You'll find him at work,' said he, 'doin' a
caricature of Wilderspin's great picture, "Faith and Love." Mother
Gudgeon is sittin' as his model. He does everything from models, you
know.'
'Mother Gudgeon?'
'A female costermonger that he picked up some where in the slums, the
funniest woman in London: haw! haw! I promise you she'll make you
laugh when Cyril draws her out.'
He then began to talk upon the subject which interested him above all
others, the smartness and swiftness of his yacht. 'I am trying to
persuade your mother and aunt to go for a cruise with me, and I think
I shall succeed.'
He directed me to the studio, and we parted.
I found Cyril in a large and lofty studio in Chelsea, filled with the
curiously carved black furniture of Bombay, mixed, for contrast, with
a few Indian cabinets of carved and fretted ivory exquisitely
wrought. He greeted me cordially. The walls were covered with
Japanese drawings. I began by asking him about The Caricaturist.
'Well,' said he, 'now that the House of Commons has become a
bear-garden, and t'other House a waxwork show, and the intellect and
culture of the country are leaving politics to dummies and cads, how
can the artistic mind condescend to caricature the political world—a
world that has not only ceased to be intelligent, but has even ceased
to be funny? The quarry of The Caricaturist will be literature,
science, and art. Instead of wasting artistic genius upon such small
fry as premiers, diplomatists, and cabinet ministers, our cartoons
will be caricatures of the pictures of Millais, Leighton,
Burne-Jones, Rossetti, Madox Brown, Holman Hunt, Watts, Sandys,
Whistler, Wilderspin: our letterpress will be Aristophanic parodies
of Tennyson, Browning, Meredith, Arnold, Morris, Swinburne; game
worth flying at, my boy! The art-world is in a dire funk, I can tell
you, for the artistic epidermis has latterly grown genteel and thin.'
Already I was beginning to ask myself whether it was possible to make
a confidant of this inscrutable cynic. 'You are fond of Oriental
things?' I said, wishing to turn the subject. I looked round at the
Chinese, Indian, and Japanese monstrosities scattered about the room.
'That,' said he, pointing to a picture of a woman (apparently drunk)
who was amusing herself by chasing butterflies, while a number of
broad-faced, mischievous-looking children were teasing her—'that is
the masterpiece of Hokusai. The legend in the corner is "Kiyó-jo chó
ni tawamureru," which, according to the lying Japanese scholars,
means nothing more than "A cracked woman chasing butterflies." It was
left for me to discover that it represents Yoka, the goddess of Fun,
sportively chasing the butterfly souls of men, while the urchins, the
little Yokas, are crying, "Ma! you're screwed."'
'But what are these quaint figures?' I asked, pointing to certain
drawings of an obese Japanese figure, grinning with lazy good-humour
above several of the cabinets.
'Hoteï, the fat god of enjoyment.'
'A Japanese god?' I asked.
'Yes, nothing artistic is quite right now unless it has a savour of
blue mould or Japan. Wonderful people, the Japanese, to have
discovered the Jolly Hoteï. And here is Hoteï's wife, the
goddess-queen Yoka herself—the real masquerader behind that mystic
veil which has so enveloped and bemuddled the mind of poor
Wilderspin. She is to figure in the first number of The
Caricaturist.'
He pointed to an object I had only partially observed: a broad-faced
burly woman, of about forty-five years of age, in an eccentric dress
of Japanese silks, standing on the model-throne between two lay
figures. 'Good heavens!' I exclaimed, 'why, she's alive.'
'An' kickin', sir,' said a voice that was at once strident and
unctuous. Owing to the almond shape of her sparkling black eyes and
the flatness of her nose, the bridge of which had been broken (most
likely in childhood), she looked absurdly like a Japanese woman, save
that upon her quaintly-cut mouth, curving slightly upwards horse-shoe
fashion, there was that twitter of humorous alertness which is
perhaps rarely seen in perfection except among the lower orders,
Celtic or Saxon, of London. Her build was that of a Dutch
fisher-woman. The set of her head on her muscular neck showed her to
be a woman of immense strength. But still more was her great physical
power indicated by her hands, the fingers of which seemed to have a
grip like that of an eagle's claws.
I then perceived upon an easel a large drawing. 'I have not seen
Wilderspin's "Faith and Love,"' I said; 'but this, I see, must be a
caricature of it.'
In it the woman figured as Isis, grinning beneath a veil held over
her head by two fantastically-dressed figures—one having the face of
Darwin, the other the face of Wilderspin.
'Allow me,' said Cyril, 'to introduce you to the Goddess Yoka, the
true Isis or goddess of bohemianism and universal joke, who, when she
had the chance of I making a rational and common-sense universe,
preferred amusing herself with flamingoes, dromedaries, ring-taile
monkeys, and men.'
'Pardon me,' I said; 'I merely called to see you. Good afternoon.'
'Allow me,' said he, turning to the woman, 'to introduce to your
celestial majesty Mr. Henry Aylwin, a kinsman of mine, whose
possessions in Little Egypt are as brilliant (judging from the
colours of his royal waggon) as are his possessions in Philistia.'
The woman made me a curtsey of much gravity. 'And allow me to
introduce you,' he said, turning to me, 'to the real original
Natura Mystica,—she who for ages upon ages has been trying by her
funny goings-on to teach us that "the Principium hylarchicum of the
cosmos" (to use the simple phraseology of a great spiritualistic
painter) is the benign principle of joke.'
The woman made me another curtsey. 'You forget your exalted position,
Mrs. Gudgeon,' said Cyril; 'when a mystic goddess-queen is so
condescending as to curtsey she should be careful not to bend too
low. Man is a creature who can never with safety be treated with too
much respect.'
'We's all so modest in Primrose Court, that's the wust on us,'
replied the woman. 'But, Muster Cyril, sir, I don't think you've
noticed that the queen's t'other eye's got dry now.'
Cyril gravely poured her out a glass of foaming ale from a bottle
that stood upon a little Indian bamboo-table, and handed it to her
carefully over the silks, saying to me,
'Her majesty's elegant way of hinting that she likes to wet both
eyes!'
Such foolery as this and at such a time irritated me sorely; but
there was no help for it now. Whether I should or should not open to
him the subject that had taken me thither, I must, I saw, let him
have his humour till the woman was dismissed.
'And now, goddess,' said he, 'while I am doing justice to the design
of your nose—'
'You can't do that, sir,' interjected the creature, 'it's sich a
beauty, ha! ha! I allus say that when I do die, I shall die
a-larfin'. They calls me "Jokin' Meg" in Primrose Court. I shall die
a-larfin', they say in Primrose Court, and so I shall—unless I die
a-cryin',' she added in an utterly different and tragic voice which
greatly struck me.
'While I am trying to do justice to that beautiful bridge you must
tell my friend about yourself and your daughter, and how you and she
first became two shining lights in the art world of London.'
'You makes me blush,' said the woman, 'an' blow me if blushin' ain't
bin an' made t'other eye dry.'
She then took another glass of ale, grinned, shook herself, as though
preparing for an effort, and said,
'Well you must know, sir, as my name's Meg Gudgeon, leaseways that
was my name till my darter chrissened me Mrs. Knocker, and I lives in
Primrose Court, Great Queen Street, and my reg'lar perfession is
a-sellin' coffee "so airly in the mornin'," and I've got a darter as
ain't quite so 'ansom as me, bein' the moral of her father as is over
the water a-livin' in the fine 'Straley. And you must know, sir, that
one of summer's day there comes a knock at our door as sends my 'eart
into my mouth and makes me cry out, "The coppers, by jabbers!" and
when I goes down and opens the door, lo! and behold, there stan's a
chap wi' great goggle eyes, dressed all in shiny black, jest like a
Quaker.' (Here she made a noise between a laugh and a cough.) 'I
allus say that when I do die I shall die a-larfin'—unless I die
a-cryin',' she added, in the same altered voice that had struck me
before.
'Well, mother,' said Cyril, 'and what did the shiny Quaker say?'
'They calls me "Jokin' Meg" in Primrose Court. The shiny Quaker, 'e
axes if my name is Gudgeon. "Well," sez I, "supposin' as my name is
Gudgeon,—I don't say it is," says I, "but supposin' as it is,—what
then?" sez I. "But is that your name?" sez 'e. "Supposin' as it
was," sez I, "what then?" "Will you answer my simple kervestion?" sez
'e. "Is your name Mrs. Gudgeon, or ain't it not?" sez 'e. "An' will
you answer my simple kervestion, Mr. Shiny Quaker?" sez I.
"Supposin' my name was Mrs. Gudgeon,—I don't say it is, but
supposin' it was,—what's that to you?" sez I, for I thought my poor
bor Bob what lives in the country had got into trouble agin and had
sent for me.'
'Go on, mother,' said Cyril, 'what did the shiny Quaker say then?'
'"Well then," sez 'e, "if your name is Mrs. Gudgeon, there is a
pootty gal as is, I am told, a-livin' along o' you." "Oh, oh, my fine
shiny Quaker gent," sez I, an' I flings the door wide open an' there
I stan's in the doorway, "it's her you wants, is it?" sez I. "And
pray what does my fine shiny Quaker gent want wi' my darter?" "Your
darter?" sez 'e, an opens 'is mouth like this, and shets it agin like
a rat-trap. "Yis, my darter," sez I. "I s'pose," sez I, "you think
she ain't 'ansom enough to be my darter. No more she ain't," sez I;
"but she takes arter her father, an' werry sorry she is for it," sez
I. "I want to put her in the way of 'arnin' some money," sez 'e. "Oh,
do you?" sez I. "How very kind! I'm sure it does a pore woman's
'eart good to see how kind you gents is to us pore women's pootty
darters," sez I,—"even shiny Quaker gents as is generally so quiet.
You're not the fust shiny gent," sez I, "as 'ez followed 'er 'um, I
can tell you,—not the fust by a long way; but up to now," sez I,
"I've allus managed to send you all away with a flea in your ears,
cuss you for a lot of wicious warm exits, young and old," sez I, "an'
if you don't get out," sez I—"My good woman, you mistake my
attentions," sez 'e. "Oh no, I don't," sez I, "not a bit on it. It's
sich ole sinners as you in your shiny black coats," sez I, "as I
never do mistake, and if you don't git out there's a pump-'andle
behind this werry door, as my poor bor Bob brought up from the
country for me to sell for him—" "My good woman," sez 'e, "I am a
hartist," sez 'e. "What's that?" sez I. "A painter," sez 'e. "A
painter, air you? you don't look it," sez I. "P'raps it's holiday
time with ye," sez I, "and that makes you look so varnishy. Well,
and what do painters more nor any other trade want with pore women's
pootty darters?" sez I,—"more nor plumbers nor glaziers, nor
bricklayers, for the matter of that?" sez I. "But I ain't a
'ousepainter," sez 'e; "I paints picturs, and I want this gal to set
as a moral," sez 'e. "A moral! an' what's a moral?" sez I. "You ain't
a-goin' to play none o' your shiny-coat larks wi' my pootty darter,"
sez I. "I wants to paint her portrait," sez 'e, "an' then put it in a
pictur." "Oh," sez I, "you wants to paint her portrait 'cause she's
such a pootty gal, an' then you wants to make believe you drawed it
out of your own 'ead, an' sell it," sez I. "Oh, but you're a downy
one, you are, an' no mistake," sez I. "But I likes you none the wuss
for that. I likes a downy chap, an' I don't see no objection to that;
but how much will you give to paint my pootty darter?" sez I. "P'raps
I'd better come in," sez he. "P'raps you 'ad, if we're a-comin' to
bisniss," sez I; "so jest make a long leg an' step over them
dirty-nosed child'n o' Mrs. Mix's, a-settin' on my doorstep, an' I
dessay we sha'n't quarrel over a 'undud p'un' or two," sez I. An'
then I bust out a-larfin' agin—I shall die a-larfin'.' And then she
added suddenly in the same tone of sadness, 'if I don't die
a-cryin'.'
'Really, mother,' said Cyril, 'it is very egotistical of you to
interrupt your story with prophecies about the mood in which you will
probably shuffle off the Gudgeon coil and take to Gudgeon wings. It
is the shiny Quaker we want to know about.'
'And then the shiny Quaker comes in,' said the woman, 'and I shets
the door, being be'ind 'im, and that skears 'im for a moment, till
I bust out a-larfin': "Oh, you needn't be afeard," sez I;—"when we
burgles a Quaker in Primrose Court we never minces 'im for
sossingers, 'e's so 'ily in 'is flavour." Well, sir, to cut a long
story short, I agrees to take my pootty darter to the Quaker gent's
studero; an' I takes 'er nex' day, an' 'e puts her in a pictur. But
afore long,' continued the old woman, leering round at Cyril, 'lo!
and behold, a young swell, p'raps a young lord in disguise (I don't
want to be pussonal, an' so I sha'n't tell his name), 'e comes into
that studero one day when I was a-settlin' up with the Quaker gent
for the week's pay, an' he sets an' admires me, till I sets an'
blushes as I'm a-blushin' at this werry moment; an' when I gits 'ome,
I sez to Polly Onion (that's a pal o' mine as lives on the ground
floor), I sez, "Poll, bring my best lookin'-glass out o' my bowdore,
an' let's have a look at my old chops, for I'm blowed if there ain't
a young swell, p'raps a young lord in disguise, as 'ez fell 'ead over
ears in love with me." And sure enough when I goes back to the
studero the werry nex' time, my young swell 'e sez to me, "It's your
own pootty face as I wants for my moral. I dessay your darter's a
stunner—I ain't seen her yit—but she cain't be nothin' to you." And
I sez to 'im, "In course she ain't, for she takes arter her father's
family, pore gal, and werry sorry she is for it."'
At this moment a servant entered and said Mr. Wilderspin was waiting
in the hall.
All hope having now fled of my getting a private word
with Cyril that afternoon, I was preparing to slip I away; but he
would not let me go.
'I don't want Wilderspin to know about the caricature till it is
finished,' whispered he to me; 'so I told Bunner never to let him
come suddenly upon me. You'd better be off, mother,' he said to the
old woman, 'and come again to-morrow.'
She bustled up and, throwing off the Japanese finery, left the room,
while Cyril removed the drawing from the easel and hid it away.
'Isn't she delightful?' ejaculated Cyril.
'Delightful! What, that old wretch? All that interests me in her is
the change in her voice after she says she will die laughing.'
'Oh,' said Cyril, 'she seems to be troubled with a drunken son in the
country somewhere, who is always getting into scrapes. Wilderspin's
in love with her daughter, a wonderfully beautiful girl, the finding
of whom at the very moment when he was in despair for the want of the
right model gave the final turn to his head. He thinks she was sent
to him from Paradise by his mother's spirit! He does, I assure you.'
'Wilderspin in love with a model!'
'Oh, not à la Raphael.'
'If you think Wilderspin to be in love with any woman, you little
know what love is,' I exclaimed. 'He is in love with his art and with
that beautiful memory of his mother's self-sacrifice which has
shattered his reason, but built up his genius. Except as a means
towards the production of those pictures that possess him, no model
is anything more to him than his palette-knife. Shall you be alone
this evening?'
'This evening I dine at Sleaford's. To-morrow I am due in Paris.'
Wilderspin, who had now entered the studio, seemed genuinely pleased
to see me again, and told me that in a few days he should be able to
borrow 'Faith and Love' of its owner for the purpose of beginning a
replica of it, and hoped then to have the pleasure of showing it to
me.
'I observed Mrs. Gudgeon in the hall,' said he to Cyril. 'To think
that so unlovely a woman should, through an illusion of the senses,
seem to be the mere material mother of her who was sent to me from
the spirit-world in the very depths of my despair! Wonderful are the
ways of the spirit-world. Ah, Mr. Aylwin, did it never occur to you
how important is the expression of the model from whom you work?'
'I am not a painter,' I said, 'only an amateur,' trying to stop a
conversation that might run on for an hour.
'It has never occurred to you! That is strange. Let me read to you a
passage upon this subject just published in The Art Review, written
by the great painter D'Arcy.'
He then took from Cyril's table a number of The Art Review, and
began to read aloud:—
It is a curious thing that not only the general public, but the art
connoisseurs and the writers upon art, although they know full well
how a painter goes to work in painting a picture, speak and write
as though they thought that the head of a beautiful woman was drawn
from the painter's inner consciousness, instead of from the real
woman who sits to him as a model. Notwithstanding all the technical
excellence of Raphael, his extraordinary good luck in finding the
model that suited his genius had very much to do with his enormous
success and fame. And with all Michael Angelo's instinct for
grandeur, if he had not been equally lucky in regard to models, he
could never adequately have expressed that genius. It is impossible
to give vitality to the painting of any head unless the artist has
nature before him; this is why no true judge of pictures was ever
deceived as to the difference between an original and a copy. It
stands to reason that in every picture of a head, howsoever the
model's features may be idealised, Nature's own handiwork and
mastery must dominate.
Here Cyril gently took the magazine from Wilderspin's hand, but did
not silence him. 'As I told you in Wales,' said he to me, 'I had an
abundance of imagination, but I wanted some model in order to realise
it. I could never meet a face that came anything nigh my own ideal of
expression as the purely spiritual side of the beauty of woman; and
until I did that I knew that I should achieve nothing whereby the
world might recognise a new power in art. In vain did I try to
idealise such faces as did not please me. And this was because
nothing could satisfy me but the perfect type of expression which not
even Leonardo nor any other painter in the world had found—the true
Romantic type.'
'I understand you, Mr. Wilderspin,' I said. 'This I perfect type of
expression you eventually found—'
'In the daughter,' said Cyril, 'of the goddess Gudgeon.'
'By the blessing of Mary Wilderspin in heaven,' said Wilderspin.
And then the talk between the two friends ran upon artistic matters,
and I heard no more, for my mind was wandering up and down the London
streets.
Wilderspin and I left the house together. As we walked along, side by
side, I said to him: 'You spoke just now of your mother's blessing.
Am I really to understand that you in an age like this believe in the
power of human blessings and human curses?'
'Do I believe in blessings and curses, Mr. Aylwin?' said Wilderspin
solemnly. 'You are asking me whether I am with or without what your
sublime father calls the "most powerful of the primary instincts of
man." He tells us in The Veiled Queen that "Even in this material
age of ours there is not a single soul that does not in its inner
depths acknowledge the power of the unseen world. The most hardened
materialist," says he, "believes in what he calls sometimes 'luck'
and sometimes 'fortune.'" Let me advise you, Mr. Aylwin, to study the
voice of your inspired father. I will send a set of his writings to
your hotel to-morrow. And, Mr. Aylwin, my duty compels me to speak
very plainly to you upon a subject that has troubled me since I had
the honour of meeting you in Wales. There is but one commandment in
the decalogue to which a distinct promise of reward is attached; it
is that which bids us honour our fathers and our mothers. Good-day,
sir.'
THE PALACE OF NIN-KI-GAL
Shortly after this I met my mother at our solicitor's office
according to appointment. As she was on the eve of departing for the
Continent, it was necessary that various family matters should be
arranged. On the day following, as I was about to leave my hotel to
call at Cyril's studio, rather doubtful, after the frivolity I had
lately witnessed, as to whether or not I should unburden my heart to
such a man, he entered my room in company with Wilderspin, the latter
carrying a parcel of books.
'I have brought your father's works,' Wilderspin said.
'Thank you very much,' I replied, taking the books. 'And when am I to
call and see your picture? Have you yet got it back from the owner?'
'"Faith and Love" is now in my studio,' he replied; 'but I will ask
you not to call upon me yet for a few days. I hope to be too busily
engaged upon another picture to afford a moment to any one save the
model—that is,' he added with a sigh, 'should she make her
appearance.'
'A picture of his called "Ruth and Boaz,"' interposed Cyril.
'Wilderspin is repainting the face from that favourite model of his
of whom you heard so much in Wales. But the fact is the model is
rather out of sorts at this moment, and Wilderspin is fearful that
she may not turn up to-day. Hence the melancholy you see on his face.
I try to console him, however, by assuring him that the daughter of a
mamma with such a sharp appreciation of half-crowns as the lady you
saw at my studio the other day is sure to turn up in due time as
sound as a roach.'
Wilderspin shook his head gravely.
'Good heavens!' I muttered, 'when am I to hear the last of painters'
models?' Then turning to Wilderspin, I said,
'This is the model to whom you feel so deeply indebted?'
'Deeply indebted, indeed!' exclaimed he in a fervid tone, taking a
chair and playing with his hat between his knees, in his previous
fashion when beginning one of his monologues. 'When I began "Faith
and Love" I worked for weeks and months and years, having but one
thought, how to give artistic rendering to the great idea of the
Renascence of Wonder in Art symbolised in the vignette in your
father's third edition. I was very poor then; but to live upon bread
and water and paint a great picture, and know that you are being
watched by loving eyes above,—there is no joy like that. I found a
model—a fine and beautiful woman, the same magnificent blonde who
sat for so many of the Master's greatest pictures. For a long time my
work delighted me; but after awhile a suspicion, and then a sickening
dread, came upon me that all was not well with the picture. And then
the withering truth broke in upon me, the scales fell from my
eyes—the model's face was beautiful, but it was not right; the
expression I wanted was as far off as ever; there was but one right
expression in the world, and that I could not find. Ah! is there any
pain like that of discovering that all the toil of years has been in
vain, that the best you can do—the best that the spiritual world
permits you to do—is as far off the goal as when you began?'
'And so you failed after all, Mr. Wilderspin?' I said, anxious to get
him away so that I might talk to Cyril alone upon the one subject at
my heart.
'I told the model I should want her no more,' said Wilderspin, 'and
for two days and nights I sat in the studio in a dream, and could get
nothing to pass my lips but bread and water. Then it was that Mary
Wilderspin, my mother, remembered me, blessed me—sent me a
spiritual body—'
'For God's sake!' I whispered to Cyril, 'take the good madman away;
you don't know how his prattle harrows me just now.'
'Ah! never,' said Wilderspin, 'shall I forget that sunny morning when
was first revealed to me—'
'My dear fellow,' said Cyril, 'to tell the adventures of that sunny
morning would, as I know from experience, keep us here for the next
three hours. So, as I must not miss my train, and as you cannot spare
a second from "Ruth and Boaz," come along.'
While I was accompanying them through the corridors of the hotel,
Cyril said: 'You say he is not in love with his model? Don't you see
the sulky looks he gives me? I was the innocent cause of an unlucky
catastrophe with her. I'll tell you about that, however, another
time. Good-bye; I'm off to Paris.'
'When you return to London,' I said to Cyril, 'I wish to consult you
upon, a matter that concerns me deeply.'
On re-entering my room, as I stood and gazed at my father's book The
Veiled Queen, I understood something about that fascination which
the bird feels who goes fluttering to the serpent's jaws from sheer
repulsion. 'Am I indeed,' I asked myself, 'that same Darwinian
student who in Switzerland not long since turned over in scorn these
pages, where are enshrined superstitious stories as gross as any of
those told in Fenella Stanley's ignorant letters?'
In a chapter on 'Love and Death' certain passages showed me how great
must have been the influence of this book on Wilderspin, and I no
longer wondered at what the painter had told me in Wales. I will give
one passage here, because it had a strange effect on my imagination,
as will be soon seen:
'There is an old Babylonian tablet of Nin-ki-gal, the Queen of Death,
whose abode the tablet thus describes:—
To the house men enter, but cannot depart from;
To the road men go, but cannot return;
The abode of darkness and famine,
Where earth is their food—their nourishment clay.
Light is not seen; in darkness they dwell:
Ghosts, like birds, flutter their wings there;
On the gate and the gate-posts the dust lies undisturbed.'
Another part of the inscription describes Nin-ki-gal on her throne
scattering over the earth the 'Seeds of Life and Death,' and chanting
her responses to the Sibyl, and to the prayers of the shapes kneeling
around her, the dead gods and the souls of all the sons of men. And I
often wonder whether my ancestress, Fenella Stanley, had any
traditional knowledge of the Queen of Death when she had her portrait
painted as the Sibyl. But whether she had or not, I never think of
this Babylonian Sibyl kneeling before Nin-ki-gal, surrounded by gods
and men, without seeing in the Sibyl's face the grand features of
Fenella Stanley.
THE SIBYL.
What answer, O Nin-ki-gal?
What answer, O Nin-ki-gal?
Have pity, O Queen of Queens!
NIN-KI-GAL
Life's fountain flows,
And still the drink is Death's;
Life's garden blows,
And still 'tis Ashtoreth's; [Footnote]
But all is Nin-ki-gal's.
I lent the drink of Day
To man and beast;
I lent the drink of Day
To gods for feast;
I poured the river of Night
On gods surceased:
Their blood was Nin-ki-gal's.
[Footnote: Hathor.]
THE SIBYL.
What sowest thou, Nin-ki-gal?
What growest thou, Nin-ki-gal?
Have pity, O Queen of Queens!
NIN-KI-GAL.
Life-seeds I sow—
To reap the numbered breaths;
Fair flowers I grow—
And hers, red Ashtoreth's;
Yea, all are Nin-ki-gal's!
THE SIBYL.
What knowest thou, Nin-ki-gal?
What showest thou, Nin-ki-gal?
Have pity, O Queen of Queens!
NIN-KI-GAL.
Nor king nor slave I know,
Nor tribes, nor shibboleths;
But Life-in-Death I know—
Yea, Nin-ki-gal I know—
Life's Queen and Death's.
And what was the effect upon me of these communings with the
ancestors whose superstitions I have, perhaps, been throughout this
narrative treating in a spirit that hardly becomes their descendant?
The best and briefest way of answering this question is to confess
not what I thought, as I went on studying my father's book, its
strange theories and revelations, but what I did. I read the book all
day long: I read it all the next day. I cannot say what days passed.
One night I resumed my wanderings in the streets for an hour or two,
and then returned home and went to bed,—but not to sleep. For me
there was no more sleep till those ancestral voices could be
quelled—till that sound of Winnie's song in the street could be
stopped in my ears. For very relief from them I again leapt out of
bed, lit a candle, unlocked the cabinet, and taking out the amulet,
proceeded to examine the I facets as I did once before when I heard
in the Swiss cottage these words of my stricken father:—
'Should you ever come to love as I have loved, you will find that
materialism is intolerable—is hell itself—to the heart that has
known a passion like mine. You will find that it is madness, Hal,
madness, to believe in the word "never"! You will find that you
dare not leave untried any creed, howsoever wild, that offers the
heart a ray of hope.'
And then while the candle burnt out dead in the socket I sat in a
waking dream.
The bright light of morning was pouring through the window. I gave a
start of horror, and cried, 'Whose face?' Opposite to me there seemed
to be sitting on a bed the figure of a man with a fiery cross upon
his breast. That strange wild light upon the face, as it the pains at
the heart were flickering up through the flesh—where had I seen it?
For a moment when, in Switzerland, my father bared his bosom to me,
that ancestral flame had flashed up into his dull lineaments. But
upon the picture of 'The Sibyl' in the portrait-gallery that
illumination was perpetual!
'It is merely my own reflex in a looking-glass,' I exclaimed.
Without knowing it I had slung the cross round my neck.
And then Sinfi Lovell's voice seemed murmuring in my ears, 'Fenella
Stanley's dead and dust, and that's why she can make you put that
cross in your feyther's tomb, and she will, she will.'
I turned the cross round: the front of it was now next to my skin.
Sharp as needles were those diamond and ruby points as I sat and
gazed in the glass. Slowly a sensation arose on my breast, of pain
that was a pleasure wild and new. I was feeling the facet. But the
tears trickling down, salt, through my moustache tears of laughter;
for Sinfi Lovell seemed again murmuring, 'For good or for ill, you
must dig deep to bury your daddy.'
What thoughts and what sensations were mine as I sat there, pressing
the sharp stones into my breast, thinking of her to whom the sacred
symbol had come, not as a blessing, but as a curse—what agonies were
mine as I sat there sobbing the one word 'Winnie,'—could be
understood by myself alone, the latest blossom of the passionate
blood that for generations had brought bliss and bale to the Aylwins.
* * * * *
I cannot tell what I felt and thought, but only what I did. And while
I did it my reason was all the time scoffing at my heart (for whose
imperious behoof the wild, mad things I am about to record were
done)—scoffing, as an Asiatic malefactor will sometimes scoff at the
executioner whose pitiless and conquering saw is severing his
bleeding body in twain. I arose and murmured ironically to Fenella
Stanley as I wrapped the cross in a handkerchief and placed it in a
hand-valise: 'Secrecy is the first thing for us sacrilegists to
consider, dear Sibyl, in placing a valuable jewel in a tomb in a
deserted church. To take any one into our confidence would be
impossible; we must go alone. But to open the tomb and, close it
again, and leave no trace of what has been done, will require all our
skill. And as burglars' jemmies are not on open sale we must buy, on
our way to the railway-station, screw-drivers, chisels, a hammer, and
a lantern; for who should know better than you, dear Sibyl, that the
palace of Nin-ki-gal is dark?'
As I hurried towards the Great Eastern Railway station, I felt like a
horse drawn by a Gypsy whisperer to do something against his own
will, and yet in the street I stopped to buy the tools. Reaching
Dullingham in the afternoon, I lunched there; and as I walked thence
along the cliff, towards Raxton, I became more calm and collected. I
determined not to go near the Hall, lest my movements should be
watched by the servants. The old churchyard was full of workmen of
the navvy kind, and I learned that for the safety of the public it
had now become necessary to hurl down upon the sands some enormous
masses of the cliff newly disintegrated by the land-springs. I
descended the gangway at Flinty Point, and concealing my implements
behind a boulder in the cliff, ascended Needle Point, and went into
the town.
I had previously become aware, from conversations with my mother,
that Wynne had been succeeded as custodian of the old church by
Shales, the humpbacked tailor, and I apprehended no difficulty in
getting the keys of the church and crypt from my simple-minded
acquaintance, without arousing his suspicions as to my mission.
Therefore I went at once to the tailor's shop, but found that Shales
was out, attending an annual Odd-Fellows' carousal at Graylingham.
Consequently I was obliged to open my business to his mother, a far
shrewder person, and one who might be much more difficult to deal
with. However, the fact of the navvies being at work so close to a
church whose chancel belonged to my family afforded an excellent
motive for my visit. But before I could introduce the subject to Mrs.
Shales, I had to listen to an exhaustive chronicle of Raxton and
Graylingham doings since I had left. Hence by the time I quitted her
(with a promise to return the keys in the morning) the sun was
setting.
But, as I walked along Wilderness Road towards the church, a new and
unexpected difficulty presented itself to my mind. I could not,
without running the risk of an interruption, enter the church till
after the Odd-Fellows had all returned from Graylingham, as Shales
and his companions would have to pass along Wilderness Road, which
skirts the churchyard. Shales himself was as short-sighted as a bat;
but his companions had the usual long-sight of agriculturists, and
would descry the slightest movement in the church-yard, or any
glimmer of light at the church windows.
I would have postponed my enterprise till the morrow; but another
important appointment at the office of our solicitor with my mother,
precluded the possibility of this. So my visit to the catacomb must
perforce be late at night.
Accordingly I descended the cliff and waited to hear the return of
the carousers. There I sat down upon the well-remembered boulder,
lost in recollections of all that had passed on those sands, while
over the sea the night spread like the widening, darkening wings of
an enormous spectral bird, whose brooding voice was the drone of the
waves as they came nearer and nearer. Then I began to think of what
lay before me, of the strangeness and wildness of my life.
Then I recalled, with a shudder I could not repress, those sepulchral
chambers beneath the church, which, owing, I believe, to the
directions in an ancestor's will, had been the means of saving it
from demolition after a large portion of the churchyard bad been
condemned as dangerous. Raxton church is the only one along the coast
that can boast a crypt: all the churches are Perpendicular in style,
too late for crypts; a fact which is supposed to indicate that Raxton
was, in very early times, a seaside town of great importance; for the
crypt is much older than the church, and of an entirely different
kind of architecture. It was once a depository for the bones of
Danish warriors killed before the Norman Conquest; it extends not
only beneath the chancel, as in most cases, but beneath both the
transepts. The vaulting (supported partly on low columns of
remarkable beauty and partly on the basement wall of the church) is
therefore of unusual extent. The external door in the churchyard is
now hidden by drifted sand and mould. Many years ago, to give place
to the tombs and coffins of my family, the bones of the old Danes
were piled together in various corners; and the thought of these
bones called up the picture of the abode of 'Nin-ki-gal,' the Queen
of Death,
Ghosts, like birds, flutter their wings there;
On the gate and the gate-posts the dust lies undisturbed.
Then my mind began to make pictures for itself of my father lying in
his coffin. I have, I think, already said that his body had been
embalmed, in order to allow of its being conveyed from Switzerland to
England. Therefore I had no dread of being confronted by that
attribute of Death alluded to by D'Arcy which is the most cruel and
terrible of all—corruption. But then what change should I find in
the expression of those features which on the day of the interment
had looked so calm? A thrill ran through my frame as I pictured
myself raising the coffin-lid, and finding expressed upon the face,
in language more appalling than any malediction in articulate
speech—the curse!
At about ten o'clock I mounted the gangway and waited behind a
deserted bungalow built for Fenella Stanley till I should hear the
Odd-Fellows returning. In a few minutes I heard them approaching.
They were singing snatches of songs they had been entertained with at
Graylingham, and chatting and laughing as they went down Wilderness
Road towards Raxton. As they passed the bungalow and adjoining mill
there was a silence.
I heard one man say: ''Ez Tom Wynne's ghooast bin seen here o' late?'
'Nooa, but the Squoire's 'ez,' said another.
'I say they've both on 'em bin seed,' exclaimed a third voice,
which I recognised to be that of old Lantoff of the 'Fishing
Smack'—'leaseways, if they ain't bin seed they've bin 'eeared. One
Saturday arternoon old Sal Gunn wur in the church a-cleanin' The Hall
brasses, an' jist afore sundown, as she wur a-comin' away, she
'eeared a awful scrimmage an squealin' in the crypt, and she 'eeared
the v'ice o' the Squoire a-callin' out, and she 'eeared Tom Wynne's
v'ice a-cussin' an' a-swearin' at 'im. And more nor that, Sal told me
that on the night when the Squoire wur buried, she seed Tom
a-draggin' the Squoire's body along the churchyard to the cliff; only
she never spoke on it at the time. And Sal says she larnt in a dream
that the moment as Tom went and laid 'is 'and on that 'ere dimind
cross in the coffin, up springs Squoire and claps 'old o' Tom's
throat, and Tom takes 'old on him, and drags him out o' the church,
meanin' to chuck him over the cliffs, when God o' mighty, as wur
a-keepin' 'is eye on Tom all the time, he jist lets go o' the cliffs
and down they falls, and kills Tom, an' buries him an' Squoire tew.'
'Did you say Sal seed all that in a dream? or did she see it in ole
ale, Muster Lantoff?' said Shales.
'Well,' replied Lantoff, as the party turned past the bungalow,
'p'raps it wur ole ale as made me see in this very bungaler when I
wur a bor the ghooast o' the great Gypsy lady whose pictur hangs up
at the Hall, her as they used to call the old Squoire's Witch-wife.'
Soon the singing and laughing were renewed; and I stood and listened
to the sounds till they died away in the distance. Then I unlocked
the church door and entered.
As I walked down an aisle, the echoes of my footsteps seemed almost
loud enough to be heard on the Wilderness Road. No one could have a
more contemptuous disbelief in ghosts than I, and yet the man's words
about the ghost of Fenella Stanley haunted me. When I reached the
heavy nailed door leading down to the crypt, I lit the lantern. The
rusty key turned so stiffly in the lock, that, to relieve my hands
(which were burdened with the implements I had brought), I slung the
hair-chain of the cross around my neck, intending merely to raise the
coffin-lid sufficiently high to admit of my slipping the amulet in.
Having, with much difficulty, opened the door, I entered the crypt.
The atmosphere, though not noisome, was heavy, and charged with an
influence that worked an extraordinary effect upon my brain and
nerves. It was as though my personality were becoming dissipated,
until at last it was partly the reflex of ancestral experiences.
Scarcely had this mood passed before a sensation came upon me of
being fanned as if by clammy bat-like wings; and then the idea seized
me that the crypt scintillated with the eyes of a malignant foe. It
was as if the curse which, until I heard Winnie a beggar singing in
the street, had been to me but a collocation of maledictory words,
harmless save in their effect upon her superstitious mind, had here
assumed an actual corporeal shape. In the uncertain light shed by the
lantern, I seemed to see the face of this embodied curse with an
ever-changing mockery of expression; at one moment wearing the
features of my father; at another those of Tom Wynne; at another the
leer of the old woman I had seen in Cyril's studio.
'It is an illusion,' I said, as I closed my eyes to shut it out; 'it
is an illusion, born of opiate fumes or else of an over-taxed brain
and an exhausted stomach.' Yet it disturbed me as much as if my
reason had accepted it as real. Against this foe I seemed to be
fighting towards my father's coffin as a dreamer lights against a
nightmare, and At last I fell over one of the heaps of old Danish
bones in a corner of the crypt. The candle fell from my lantern, and
I was in darkness. As I sat there I passed into a semi-conscious
state. I saw sitting at the apex of a towering pyramid, built of
phosphorescent human bones that reached far, far above the stars, the
'Queen of Death, Nin-ki-gal,' scattering seeds over the earth below.
At the pyramid's base knelt the suppliant figure of a Sibyl pleading
with the Queen of Death:
What answer, O Nin-ki-gal?
Have pity, O Queen of Queens!
And the Sibyl's face was that of Fenella Stanley—her voice was that
of Sinfi Lovell.
And then from that dizzy height seemed to come a cackling laugh:—
'You makes me blush, an' blow me if blushin' ain't bin an' made
t'other eye dry. I lives in Primrose Court, Great Queen Street, an'
my reg'lar perfession is a-sellin' coffee "so airly in the mornin',"
and I've got a darter as ain't quite so 'ansom as me, bein' the moral
of her father.'
And now in my vision I perceived that Nin-ki-gal's face was that of
the old woman I had seen in Cyril's studio, and that she was dressed
in the same fantastic in which Cyril had bedizened her.
I sprang up, struck a light and relit the candle, and soon reached
the coffin resting on a stone table. I found, on examining it, that
although it had been screwed down after the discovery of the
violation, the work had been so loosely done that a few turns of the
screwdriver were sufficient to set the lid free. Then I paused; for
to raise the loosened lid (knowing as I did that it was only the
blood's inherited follies that had conquered my rationalism and
induced me to disturb the tomb) seemed to require the strength of a
giant. Moreover, the fantastic terror of old Lantoff's story, which
at another time would have made me smile, also took bodily shape, and
the picture of a dreadful struggle at the edge of the cliff between
Winnie's father and mine seemed to hang in the air—a fascinating
mirage of ghastly horror.
* * * * *
At last, by an immense effort of will, I closed my eyes and pushed
the lid violently on one side.
* * * * *
The 'sweet odours and divers kinds of spices' of the Jewish embalmer
rose like a gust of incense—rose and spread through the crypt like
the sweet breath of a new-born blessing, till the air of the
charnel-house seemed laden with a mingled odour of indescribable
sweetness. Never had any odour so delighted my senses; never had any
sensuous influence so soothed my soul.
While I stood inhaling the scents of opobalsam, and cinnamon and
myrrh, and wine of palm and oil of cedar, and all the other spices of
the Pharaohs, mingled in one strange aromatic cloud, my personality
seemed again to become, in part, the reflex of ancestral experiences.
I opened my eyes. I looked into the coffin. The face (which had been
left by the embalmer exposed) confronted mine. 'Fenella Stanley!' I
cried, for the great transfigurer Death had written upon my father's
brow that self-same message which the passions of a thousand Romany
ancestors had set upon the face of her whose portrait hung in the
picture-gallery. And the rubies and diamonds and beryls of the cross
as it now hung upon my breast, catching the light of the opened
lantern in my left hand, shed over the features an indescribable
reflex hue of quivering rose.
Beneath his head I placed the silver casket: I hung the hair-chain
round his neck: I laid upon his breast the long-loved memento of his
love and the parchment scroll.
Then I sank down by the coffin, and prayed. I knew not what or why.
But never since the first human prayer was breathed did there rise to
heaven a supplication so incoherent and so wild as mine. Then I rose,
and laying my hand upon my father's cold brow, I said: 'You have
forgiven me for all the wild words that I uttered in my long agony.
They were but the voice of intolerable misery rebelling against
itself. You, who suffered so much—who know so well those flames
burning at the heart's core—those flames before which all the forces
of the man go down like prairie-grass before the fire and wind—you
have forgiven me. You who knew the meaning of the wild word Love—you
have forgiven your suffering son, stricken like yourself. You have
forgiven me, father, and forgiven him, the despoiler of your tomb:
you have removed the curse, and his child—his innocent child—is
free.'
I replaced the coffin-lid, and screwing it down left the crypt, so
buoyant and exhilarated that I stopped in the churchyard and asked
myself: 'Do I, then, really believe that she was under a curse? Do I
really relieve that my restoring the amulet has removed it? Have I
really come to this?'
Throughout all these proceedings—yes, even amidst that prayer to
Heaven, amidst that impassioned appeal to my dead father—had my
reason been keeping up that scoffing at my heart which I have before
described.
I knocked up the landlord of the 'White Hart,' and, turning into bed,
slept my first peaceful sleep since my trouble.
To escape awkward questions, I did not in the morning take back the
keys to Shales's house myself, but sent them, and walking to
Dullingham took the train to London.
BEHIND THE VEIL
When I met my mother at the solicitor's office next day, she was
astonished at my cheerfulness and at the general change in me. As we
left the office together, she said,
'Everything is now arranged: your aunt and I have decided to accept
Lord Sleaford's invitation to go for a cruise in his yacht. We leave
to-morrow evening. Lord Sleaford has promised to take me to-morrow
afternoon to Mr. Wilderspin's studio, to see the great painter's
portrait of me, which is now, I understand, quite finished.'
'Why did you not ask me to accompany you, instead of asking
Sleaford?'
'I did not know that you would care to do so.' 'Dear mother,' I said,
in a tender tone that startled her, 'you must let me go with you and
Sleaford to the studio.'
She consented, and on the following afternoon I called at my aunt's
house in Belgrave Square. The hall was full of portmanteaux, boxes,
and packages. Sleaford had already arrived, and was waiting with
stolid patience for my mother, who had gone to her room to dress. He
began to talk to me about the astonishing gifts of Cyril Aylwin.
'Have you made an appointment with Wilderspin?' I said to my mother,
when she entered the room. 'The last time I saw him he seemed to be
much occupied with some disturbing affairs of his own.'
'Appointment? No,' said she, with an air that seemed to imply that an
Aylwin, even with Gypsy blood in his veins, in calling upon Art, was
conferring upon it a favour to be welcomed at any time.
'I have not seen this portrait yet,' said Sleaford, as the carriage
moved off; 'but Cyril Aylwin says it is magnificent, and if anybody
knows what's good and what's bad it's Cyril Aylwin.'
'Do you know,' said my mother to me, 'I have taken vastly to this
eccentric kinsman of ours? I had really no idea that a bohemian could
be so much like a gentleman; but, of course, an Aylwin must always be
an Aylwin.'
'Haw, haw!' laughed Sleaford to himself, 'that's good about Cyril
Aylwin though—that's dooced good.'
'We shall see Wilderspin's great picture, "Faith and Love," at the
same time,' I said, as we approached Chelsea; 'for Wilderspin tells
me that he has borrowed it from the owner to make a replica of it.'
'That is very fortunate,' said my mother. 'I have the greatest desire
to see this picture and its wonderful predella. Wilderspin is one of
the few painters who revert to the predella of the old masters. He is
said to combine the colour of him whom he calls "his master" with the
draughtsmanship and intellect of Shields, whose stained-glass windows
the owner was showing me the other day at Eaton Hall; and do you
know, Henry, that the painter of this wonderful "Faith and Love" is
never tired of declaring that the subject was inspired by your dear
father?'
When we reached the studio the servant said that Mr. Wilderspin was
much indisposed that afternoon, and was also just getting ready to go
to Paris, where he was to join Mr. Cyril in his studio; 'but perhaps
he would see us,'—an announcement that brought a severe look to my
mother's face, and another half-suppressed 'Haw, haw!' from
Sleaford's deep chest.
Mounting the broad old staircase, we found ourselves in the studio of
the famous spiritualist-painter—one of two studios; for Wilderspin
had turned two rooms communicating with each other by folding-doors
into a sort of double studio. One of these rooms, which was of
moderate size, fronted the north-east, the other faced the
south-west. There were (as I soon discovered) easels in both. It was
the smaller of these rooms into which we were now shown by the
servant. The walls were covered with sketches and drawings in various
stages, and photographs of sculpture.
'By Jove, that's dooced like!' said Sleaford, pointing to my mother's
portrait, which was standing on the floor, as though just returned
from the frame-maker's: 'ask Cyril Aylwin if it ain't when you see
him.'
It was a truly magnificent painting, but more full of imagination
than of actual portraiture.
One of the windows was open, and the noise of an anvil from a
blacksmith's shop in Maud Street came into the room.
'Do you know,' said my mother in an undertone, 'that this strange
genius can only, when in London, work to the sound of a blacksmith's
anvil? Nothing will induce him to paint a portrait out of his own
studio; and I observed, when I was sitting to him here, that
sometimes when the noise from the anvil ceased he laid down his brush
and waited for the hideous din to be resumed.
Wilderspin now came through the folding-doors, and greeted us in his
usual simple, courteous way. But I saw that he was in trouble. 'The
portrait will look better yet,' he said. 'I always leave the final
glazing till the picture is in the frame.'
After we had thoroughly examined the portrait, we turned to look at a
large canvas upon an easel. Wilderspin had evidently been working
upon it very lately.
'That's "Ruth and Boaz," don't you know?' said Sleaford. 'Finest crop
of barley I ever saw in my life, judgin' from the size of the
sheaves. Barley paid better than wheat last year. So the farmers all
say.'
'Don't look at it,' said Wilderspin. 'I have been taking out part of
Ruth, and was just beginning to repaint her from the shoulders
upwards. It will never be finished now,' he continued with a sigh.
We asked him to allow us to see 'Faith and Love.'
'It is in the next room,' said he, 'but the predella is here on the
next easel. I have removed it from underneath the picture to work
upon.'
'The head of Ruth has been taken out,' said my mother, turning to me:
'but isn't it like an old master? You ought to see the marvellous
Pre-Raphaelite pictures at Mr. Graham's and Mr. Leyland's, Henry.'
'Pre-Raphaelites?' said Wilderspin, 'the Master rhymes, madam, and
Burne-Jones actually reads the rhymes! However, they are on the
right track in art, though neither has the slightest intercourse with
the spirit world, not the slightest.'
'My exploits as a painter have not been noticeable as yet,' I said;
'but an amateur may know what a barley-field is. That is one before
us. He may know what a man in love is; Boaz there is in love.'
'I wish we could see the woman's face,' said Sleaford. 'A woman, you
know, without a face—'
'Come and see the predella of "Faith and Love,"' said Wilderspin, and
he moved towards an easel where rested the predella, a long narrow
picture without a frame. My mother followed him, leaving me standing
before the picture of 'Ruth and Boaz.' Although the head of Ruth had
been painted out, the picture seemed to throb with life. Boaz had
just discovered the Moabitish maiden in the gleaming barley-field, as
she had risen from stooping to glean the corn. Two ears of barley
were in one hand. In the face of Boaz was an expression of surprise,
and his eyes were alight with admiration. The picture was finished
with the exception of the face of Ruth, which was but newly sketched
in. Wilderspin had contrived to make her attitude and even the very
barley-ears in her hand (one of which was dangling between her
slender fingers in the act of falling) express innocent perturbation
and girlish modesty.
At length I joined the others, who were standing before the easel,
looking at the predella which, as Wilderspin again took care to tell
us, had been removed from the famous picture of 'Faith and Love' we
were about to see in the next room—'the culmination and final
expression of the Renascence of Wonder in Art.'
'Perhaps it is fortunate,' said he, 'that I happen to be working at
this very time upon the predella, which acts as a key to the meaning
of the design. You will now have the advantage of seeing the predella
before you see the picture itself. And really it would be to the
advantage of the picture if every one could see it under like
circumstances; it would add immensely to the effect of the design.
Look well and carefully at the predella first. Try to imagine the
Oriental Queen behind that veil, then observe the way in which the
features are expressed through the veil; and then, but not till then,
come into the adjoining room and see the picture itself, see what
Isis really is (according to the sublime idea of Philip Aylwin) when
Faith and Love, the twin angels of all true art, upraise the veil.'
He then turned and passed through the folding-doors into a room of
great size, crowded with easels, upon which pictures were resting.
The predella before me seemed a miracle of imaginative power. At that
time I had not seen the work of the great poet-painter of modern
times whom Wilderspin called 'the Master,' and by whom he had been
unconsciously inspired.
'Most beautiful!' my mother ejaculated, as we three lingered before
the predella. 'Do look at the filmy texture of the veil.'
'Looks more like steam than a white veil, don't you know?' said
Sleaford.
'Like steam, my lord?' exclaimed Wilderspin from the next room. 'The
painter of that veil had peculiar privileges. As a child he had been
in the habit of watching a face through the curtain of steam around a
blacksmith's forge when hot iron is plunged into the water-trench,
and the face, my lord, though begrimed by earthly toil, was an
angel's. No wonder, then, that the painting in that veil is unique in
art. The flesh-tints that are pearly and yet rosy seem, as you
observe, to be breaking through it, and yet you cannot say what is
the actual expression on the face. But now come and see the picture
itself.'
My mother and Sleaford lingered for a moment longer, and then passed
between the folding-doors.
But I did not follow them; I could not. For now there was something
in the predella before me which fascinated me, I scarcely knew why.
It was the figure of the queen—the figure between the two sleeping
angels—the figure behind the veil, and expressed by the veil—that
enthralled me.
There was a turn about the outlined neck and head that riveted my
gaze; and, as I looked from these to the veil falling over the face,
a vision seemed to be rapidly growing before my eyes—a vision that
stopped my breath—a vision of a face struggling to express itself
through that snowy film—whose face?
* * * * *
'In the crypt my senses had a kind of license to play me tricks,' I
murmured; 'but now and here my reason shall conquer.'
And I stood and gazed at the veil. During all the time I could hear
every word of the talk between Wilderspin, Sleaford, and my mother
before the picture in the other room.
'Awfully fine picture,' said Sleaford, 'but the Queen there—Isis:
more like a European face than an Egyptian. I've been to Egypt a good
deal, don't you know?'
'This is not an historical painting, my lord. As Philip Aylwin says,
"the only soul-satisfying function of art is to give what Zoroaster
calls 'apparent pictures of unapparent realities.'" Perfect beauty
has no nationality; hers has none. All the perfections of woman
culminate in her. How can she then be disfigured by paltry
characteristics of this or that race or nation? In looking at that
group, my lord, nationality is forgotten, and should be forgotten.
She is the type of Ideal Beauty whose veil can never be raised save
by the two angels of all true art, Faith and Love. She is the type of
Nature, too, whose secret, as Philip Aylwin says, "no science but
that of Faith and Love can read."'
'Seems to be the type of a good deal; but it's all right, don't you
know? Awfully fine picture! Awfully fine woman!' said Sleaford in a
conciliatory tone. 'She's a good deal fairer, though, than any
Eastern women I've seen; but then I suppose she has worn a veil al
her life up to now. Most of 'em take sly peeps, and let in the hot
Oriental sun, and that tans 'em, don't you know?'
'And the original of this face?' I heard my mother say in a voice
that seemed agitated; 'could you tell me something about the original
of this remarkable face?' 'The model?' said Wilderspin. 'We are not
often asked about our models, but a model like that would endow
mediocrity itself with genius, for, though apparently, and by way of
beneficent illusion, the daughter of an earthly costermonger, she was
a wanderer from another and a better world. She is not more beautiful
here than when I saw her first in the sunlight on that memorable day,
at the corner of Essex Street, Strand, bare-headed, her shoulders
shining like patches of polished ivory here and there through the
rents in her tattered dress, while she stood gazing before her,
murmuring a verse of Scripture, perfectly unconscious whether she was
dressed in rags or velvet; her eyes—'
'The eyes—it is the eyes, don't you know—it is the eyes that are
not quite right,' said Sleaford. 'Blue eyes with black eyelashes are
awfully fine; you don't see 'em in Egypt. But I suppose that's the
type of something too. Types always floor me, don't you know?'
'But the scene is no longer Egypt, my lord; it is Corinth,' replied
Wilderspin.
During this dialogue I stood motionless before the predella: I could
not stir; my feet seemed fixed in the floor by what can only be
described as a wild passion of expectation. As I stood there a
marvellous change appeared to be coming over the veiled figure of the
predella. The veil seemed to be growing more and more filmy—more and
more like the 'steam' to which Sleaford had compared it, till at last
it resolved itself into a veil of mist—into the rainbow-tinted
vapours of a gorgeous mountain sunrise—and looking straight at me
were two blue eyes sparkling with childish happiness and childish
greeting, through flushed mists across a pool on Snowdon.
That she was found at last my heart knew, though my brain was dazed.
That in the next room, within a few yards of me, my mother and
Sleaford and Wilderspin were looking at the picture of Winifred's
face unclouded by the veil, my heart knew as clearly as though my
eyes were gazing at it, and yet I could not stir. Yes, I knew that
she was now neither a beggar in the street, nor a prisoner in one of
the dens of London, nor starving in a squalid garret, but was safe
under the sheltering protection of a good man. I knew that I had only
to pass between those folding-doors to see her in Wilderspin's
picture—see her dressed in the 'azure-coloured tunic bordered with
stars,' and the upper garment of the 'colour of the moon at
moonrise,' which Wilderspin had so vividly described in Wales; and
yet, paralysed by expectation, I could not stir.
Soon I was conscious that my mother, Sleaford, and Wilderspin were
standing by my side, that Wilderspin's hand was laid on my arm, and
that I was pointing at the predella—pointing and muttering,
'She lives! She is saved.'
My mother led me into the other studio, and I stood before the great
picture. Wilderspin and Sleaford, feeling that something had occurred
of a private and delicate nature, lingered out of hearing in the
smaller studio.
'I must be taken to her at once,' I muttered to my mother; 'at once.'
So living was the portrait of Winifred that I felt that she must be
close at hand. I looked round to see if she herself were not standing
by me dressed in the dazzling draperies gleaming from Wilderspin's
superb canvas.
But in place of Winifred the profile of my mother's face, cold,
proud, and white, met my gaze. Again did the stress of overmastering
emotion make of me a child, as it had done on the night of the
landslip. 'Mother!' I said, 'you see who it is?'
She made no answer: she stood looking steadfastly at the picture; but
the tremor of the nostrils, the long deep breaths she drew, told me
of the fierce struggle waging within her breast between conscience
and pity, with rage and cruel pride. My old awe of her returned. I
was a little boy again, trembling for Winnie. In some unaccountable
and, I believe, unprecedented way I had always felt that she, my own
mother, belonged to some haughty race superior to mine and Winnie's;
and nothing but the intensity of my love for Winnie could ever have
caused me to rebel against my mother.
'Dear mother,' I murmured, 'all the mischief and sorrow and pain are
ended now; and we shall all be happy; for you have a kind heart,
dear, and cannot help loving poor Winnie, when you come to know her.'
She made no answer save that her lips slowly reddened again after the
pallor; then came a quiver in them, as though pity were conquering
pride within her breast, and then that contemptuous curl that had
often in the past cowed the heart of the fearless and pugnacious boy
whom no peril of sea or land could appal.
'She is found,' I said. 'And, mother, there is no longer an
estrangement between you and me. I forgive you everything now.'
I leapt from her as though I had been stung, so sudden and unexpected
was the look of scorn that came over her face as she said, 'You
forgive me!' It recalled my struggle with her on that dreadful
night: and in a moment I became myself again. The pleading boy
became, at a flash, the stern and angry man that misery had made him.
With my heart hedged once more with points of steel to all the world
but Winnie, I turned away. I did not know then that her attitude
towards me at this moment came from the final struggle in her breast
between her pride and that remorse which afterwards took possession
of her and seemed as though it would make the remainder of her life a
tragedy without a smile in it. At that moment Wilderspin and Sleaford
came in from the smaller studio. 'Where is she?' I said to
Wilderspin. 'Take me to her at once—take me to her who sat for this
picture. It is she whom I and Sinfi Lovell were seeking in Wales.'
A look of utter astonishment, then one of painful perplexity, came
over his face—a look which I attributed to his having heard part of
the conversation between my mother and myself.
'You mean the—the—model? She is not here, Mr. Aylwin,' said he.
'The same young lady you were seeking in Wales! Mysterious indeed are
the ways of the spirit world!' and then his lips moved silently as
though in prayer.
'Where is she?' I asked again.
'I will tell you all about her soon—when we are alone,' he said in
an undertone. 'Does the picture satisfy you?'
The picture! He was thinking of his art. Amid all that gorgeous
pageant in which mediæval angels; were mixed with classic youths and
flower-crowned; maidens, in such a medley of fantastic beauty as
could never have been imagined save by a painter; who was one-third
artist, one-third madman, and one-third seer—amid all the marvels of
that strange, uncanny culmination of the neo-Romantic movement in Art
which had excited the admiration of one set of the London critics and
the scorn of others, I had really and fully seen but one face—the
face of Isis, or Pelagia, or Eve, or Natura Benigna, or whosoever
she was looking at me with those dear eyes of Winnie's which were my
very life—looking at me with the same bewitching, indescribable
expression that they wore when she sat with her 'Prince of the Mist'
on Snowdon. I tried to take in the ensemble. In vain! Nothing but
the face and figure of Winifred—crowned with seaweed as in the
Raxton photograph—could stay for the thousandth part of a second
upon my eyes.
'Wilderspin,' I said, 'I cannot do the picture justice at this
moment. I must see it again—after I have seen her. Where is she? Can
I not see her now?'
'You cannot.'
'Can I not see her to-day?'
'You cannot. I will tell you soon, and I have much to tell you,' said
Wilderspin, looking uneasily round at my mother, who did not seem
inclined to leave us. 'I will tell you all about her when—when you
are sufficiently calm.'
'Tell me now,' I said.
'Gad! this is a strange affair, don't you know? It would puzzle Cyril
Aylwin himself,' said Sleaford. 'What the dooce does it all mean?'
'Is she safe?' I cried to Wilderspin.
There was a pause.
'Is she safe?' I cried again.
'Quite safe,' said Wilderspin, in a tone whose solemnity would have
scared me had the speaker been any other person than this eccentric
creature. 'When you are less agitated, I will tell you all about
her.'
'No! now, now!'
'Well, Mr. Aylwin,' said Wilderspin, 'when I first saw your father's
book, The Veiled Queen, it was the vignette on the title-page
that attracted me. In the eyes of that beautiful child-face, even as
rendered by a small reproduction, there was the very expression that
my soul had been yearning after—the expression which no painter of
woman's beauty had ever yet caught and rendered. I felt that he who
could design or suggest to a designer such a vignette must be
inspired, and I bought the book: it was as an artist, not as a
thinker, that I bought the book for the vignette. When, on reading
it, I came to understand the full meaning of the design, such sweet
comfort and hope did the writer's words give me, that I knew at once
who had impressed me to read it—I knew that my mission in life was
to give artistic development to the sublime ideas of Philip Aylwin.
I began the subject of "Faith and Love." But the more I tried to
render the expression that had fascinated me the more impossible did
the task seem to me. Howsoever imaginative may be any design, the
painter who would produce a living picture must paint from life, and
then he has to fight against his model's expression. Do you remember
my telling you the other day how the spirit of Mary Wilderspin in
heaven came upon me in my sore perplexity and blessed me—sent me a
spiritual body—led me out into the street, and—'
'Yes, yes, I remember; but what happened?'
'We will sit,' said Wilderspin.
He placed chairs for us, and I perceived that my mother did not
intend to go.
'Well,' he continued, 'on that sunny morning I was impressed to
leave my studio and go out into the streets. It was then that I found
what I had been seeking,—the expression in the beautiful child-face
off the vignette.'
'In the street!' I heard my mother say to herself. 'How did it come
about?' she asked aloud.
'It had long been my habit to roam about the streets of London
whenever I could afford the time to do so, in the hope of finding
what I sought, the fascinating and indescribable expression on that
one lovely child-face. Sometimes I believed that I had found this
expression. I have followed women for miles, traced them home,
introduced myself to them, told them of my longings; and have then,
after all, come away in bitter disappointment. The insults and
revilings I have, on these occasions, sometimes submitted to I will
narrate to no man, for they would bring me no respect in a cynical
age like this—an age which Carlyle spits at and the great and good
John Ruskin chides. Sometimes my dear friend Mr. Cyril has
accompanied me on these occasions, and he has seen how I have been
humiliated.'
An involuntary 'haw, haw!' came from Sleaford, but looking towards my
mother and perceiving that she was listening with intense eagerness,
he said: 'Ten thousand pardons, but Cyril Aylwin's droll
stories,—don't you know? they will—hang it all—keep comin' up and
makin' a fellow laugh.'
'Well,' continued Wilderspin, 'on that memorable morning I was
impressed to walk down the street towards Temple Bar. I was passing
close to the wall to escape the glare of the sun, when I was stopped
suddenly by a sight which I knew could only have been sent to me in
that hour of perplexity by her who had said that Jesus would let her
look down and watch her boy. Moreover, at that moment the noise of
the Strand seemed to cease in my ears, which were rilled with the
music I love best—the only music that I have patience to listen
to—the tinkle of a black-smith's anvil.'
'Blacksmith's anvil in the Strand?' said Sleaford.
'It was from heaven, my lord, that the music fell like rain; it was
a sign from Mary Wilderspin who lives there.'
'For God's sake be quick!' I exclaimed. 'Where was it?'
'At the corner of Essex Street. A bright-eyed, bright-haired girl in
rags was standing bare-headed, holding out boxes of matches for sale,
and murmuring words of Scripture. This she was doing quite
mechanically, as it seemed, and unobservant of the crowd passing
by,—individuals of whom would stop for a moment to look at her; some
with eyes of pure admiration and some with other eyes. The squalid
attire in which she was clothed seemed to add to her beauty.'
'My poor Winnie!' I murmured, entirely overcome.
'She seemed to take as little heed of the heat and glare as of the
people, but stood there looking before her, murmuring texts from
Scripture as though she were communing with the spiritual world. Her
eyes shook and glittered in the sunshine; they seemed to emit lights
from behind the black lashes surrounding them; the ruddy lips were
quivering. There was an innocence about her brow, and yet a mystic
wonder in her eyes which formed a mingling of the child-like with the
maidenly such as—'
'Man! man! would you kill me with your description?' I cried. Then
grasping Wilderspin's hand, I said, 'But,—but was she begging,
Wilderspin? Not literally begging! My Winnie! my poor Winnie!'
My mother looked at me. The gaze was full of a painful interest; but
she recognised that between me and her there now was rolling an
infinite sea or emotion, and her eyes drooped before mine as though
she had suddenly invaded the privacy of a stranger.
'She was offering matches for sale,' said Wilderspin.
'Winnie! Winnie! Winnie!' I murmured. 'Did she seem emaciated,
Wilderspin? Did she seem as though she wanted food?'
'Heaven, no!' exclaimed my mother.
'No,' replied Wilderspin firmly. 'On that point who is a better judge
than the painter of "Faith and Love"? She did not want food. The
colour of the skin was not—was not—such as I have seen—when a
woman is dying for want of food.'
'God bless you, Wilderspin, God bless you! But what then?—what
followed?'
'Well, Mr. Aylwin, I stood for some time gazing at her, muttering
thanks to my mother for what I had found. I then went up to her, and
asked her for a box of matches. She held me out a box, mechanically,
as it seemed, and, when I had taken it of her, she held out her hand
just as though she had been a real earthly beggar-girl; but that was
part of the beneficent illusion of Heaven.'
'That was for the price, don't you know?' said Sleaford. 'What did
you give her?'
'I gave her a shilling, my lord, which she looked at for some time in
a state of bewilderment. She then began to feel about her as if for
something.'
'She was feelin' for the change, don't you know?' said Sleaford, not
in the least degree perceiving how these interruptions of a prosaic
mind were maddening me.
'I told her that I wanted to speak to her,' continued Wilderspin,
'and asked her where she lived. She gave me the same bewildered,
other-world look with which she had regarded the shilling, a look
which seemed to say, "Go away now: leave me alone!" As I did not go,
she began to appear afraid of me, and moved away towards Temple Bar,
and then crossed the street. I followed, as far behind as I could
without running the danger of losing sight of her, to a wretched
place running out of Great Queen Street. Holborn, which I afterwards
found was called Primrose Court, and when I got there she had
disappeared in one of the squalid houses opening into the court. I
knocked at the first door once or twice before an answer came, and
then a tiny girl with the face of a woman opened it. "Is there a
beggar-girl living here?" I asked. "No," answered the child in a
sharp, querulous voice. "You mean Meg Gudgeon's gal wot sings and
does the rainy-night dodge. She lives next house." And the child
slammed the door in my face. I knocked at the next door, and after
waiting for a minute it was opened by a short, middle-aged woman,
with black eyes and a flattened nose, who stared at me, and then
said, "A Quaker, by the looks o' ye." She had the strident voice of a
raven, and she smelt, I thought, of gin.'
'But, Mr. Wilderspin, Mr. Wilderspin, you said the girl was safe!'
It was my mother's voice, but so loud, sharp, and agonised was it
that it did not seem to be her voice at all. In that dreadful moment,
however, I had no time to heed it. At the description of the hideous
den and the odious Mrs. Gudgeon, whose face as I had seen it in
Cyril's studio had haunted me in the crypt, a dreadful shudder
passed through my frame; an indescribable sense of nausea stirred
within me; and for a moment I felt as though the pains of
dissolution were on me. And there was something in Wilderspin's
face—what was it?—that added to my alarm. 'Stay for a moment,' I
said to him; 'I cannot yet bear to hear any more.'
'I know the dread that has come upon you, and upon your kind,
sympathetic mother,' said he; 'but she you are disturbed about was
not a prisoner in the kind of place my words seem to describe.'
'But the woman?' said my mother. 'How could she be safe in such
hands?'
'Has he not said she is safe?' I cried, in a voice that startled even
my own ears, so loud and angry it was, and yet I hardly knew why.
'You forget,' said Wilderspin, turning to my mother, 'that the whole
spiritual world was watching over her.'
'But was the place very—was it so very squalid?' said my mother.
'Pray describe it to us, Mr. Wilderspin; I am really very anxious.'
'No!' I said; 'I want no description: I shall go and see for myself.'
'But; Henry, I am most anxious to know about this poor girl, and I
want Mr. Wilderspin to tell us how and where he found her.'
'The "poor girl" concerns me alone, mother. Our calamities—Winnie's
and mine—are between us two and God….You engaged her, Wilderspin,
of the woman whom I saw at Cyril's studio, to sit as a model? What
passed when she came?'
'The woman brought her next day,' said Wilderspin, 'and I sketched in
the face of Pelagia as Isis at once. I had already taken out the face
of the previous model that had dissatisfied me. I now took out the
figure too, for the figure of this new model was as perfect as her
face.'
'Go on, go on. What occurred?'
'Nothing, save that she stood dumb, like one who had no language save
that of another world. But at the second sitting she had a fit of a
most dreadful kind.'
'Ah! Tell me quickly,' I said. Her face became suddenly distorted by
an expression of terror such as I had never seen and never imagined
possible. I have caught it exactly in my picture "Christabel." She
revived and tried to run out of the studio. Her mother and I seized
her, and she then fell down insensible.'
'What occasioned the fit? What had frightened her?'
'That is what I am not quite certain about. When she entered the
studio she fixed her eyes upon a portrait which I had been working
upon; but that must have been merely a coincidence.'
'A portrait!' I cried. And Winifred's scared expression when she
encountered my mother's look of hate in the churchyard came back to
me like a scene witnessed in a flash of lightning. 'The portrait was
my mother's?'
'It was the face of the kind, tender, and noble lady your mother,'
said Wilderspin gently.
I gave a hurried glance at my mother, and saw the pallor of her
face,—but to me the world held now only two realities, Winifred and
Wilderspin; all other people were dreams, obtrusive and irritating
dreams. 'Go on, go on,' I said.
'She recovered,' continued Wilderspin, 'and seemed to have forgotten
all about the portrait, which I had put away.'
'Did she talk?'
'Never, Mr. Aylwin,' said Wilderspin solemnly. 'Nor did I invite her
to talk, knowing whence she came—from the spirit-world. At the first
few sittings Mrs. Gudgeon came with her, and would sit looking on
with the intention of seeing that she came to no harm. She said her
daughter was very beautiful, and she, her mother, never trusted her
with men.'
'God bless the hag, God bless her; but go on!'
'Gradually Mrs. Gudgeon seemed to acquire more confidence in me; and
one day, on leaving, she lingered behind the girl, and told me that
her daughter, though uncommonly stupid and a little touched in the
head, had now learnt her way to my studio, and that in future she
should let her come alone, as she believed that she could trust her
with me. She warned me earnestly, however, not to "worrit" the girl
by asking her all sorts of questions.'
'And there she was right,' I cried. 'But you did ask her
questions,—I see you did, you asked her about her father and brought
on another catastrophe.'
'No,' said Wilderspin with gentle dignity; 'I was careful not to ask
her questions, for her mother told me that she was liable to fits.'
'Mr. Wilderspin, I beg your pardon,' I said.
'I see you are deeply troubled,' said he; 'but, Mr. Aylwin, you need
not beg my pardon. Since I saw Mary Wilderspin, my mother, die for
her children, no words of mere Man have been able to give me pain.'
'Go on, go on. What did the woman say to you?'
'She said, "The fewer questions you ask her the better, and don't pay
her any money. She'd only lose it; I'll come for it at the proper
times." From that day the model came to the sittings alone, and Mrs.
Gudgeon came at the end of every week for the money.'
'And did the model maintain her silence all this time?'
'She did. She would, every few minutes, sink into a reverie, and
appear to be stone-deaf. But sometimes her face would become suddenly
alive with all sorts of shifting expressions. A few days ago she had
another fit, exactly like the former one. That was on the day
preceding my call at your hotel with your father's books. This time
we had much more difficulty in bringing her round. We did so at last;
and when she was gone I gave the final touch to my picture of "The
Lady Geraldine and Christabel." I was at the moment, however, at work
upon "Ruth and Boaz," which I had painted years before—removing the
face of Ruth originally there. I worked long at it; and as she was
not coming for two days I kept steadily at the picture. This was the
day on which I called upon you, wishing you to postpone your visit,
lest you should interrupt me while at work upon the head of Ruth,
which I was hoping to paint. On Thursday I waited for her at the
appointed hour, but she did not come, and I saw her no more.'
'Mr. Wilderspin,' I said, as I rose hurriedly, with the intention of
going at once in search of Winifred, 'let me see the picture you
allude to—"Christabel," and then tell me where to find her.'
'Better not see it!' said Wilderspin solemnly; 'there's something to
tell you yet, Mr. Aylwin.'
'Yes, yes; but let me see the picture first. I can bear anything now.
Howsoever terrible it may be, I can bear it now; for she's
found—she's safe.' And I rushed into the next room, and began
turning round in a wild manner one after another some dozens of
canvases that were standing on the floor and leaning against the
wall.
Half the canvases had been turned, and then I came upon what I
sought.
I stood petrified. But I heard Wilderspin's voice at my side say, 'Do
not let an imaginary scene distress you, Mr. Aylwin. The picture
merely represents the scene in Coleridge's poem where the Lady
Christabel, having secretly and in pity brought to her room to share
her bed the mysterious lady she had met in the forest at midnight,
watches the beautiful witch undress, and is spell-bound and struck
dumb by some "sight to dream of, not to tell," which she sees at the
lady's bosom.'
* * * * *
Christabel! It was Winifred sitting there upright in bed, confronted
by a female figure—a tall lady, who with bowed head was undressing
herself beneath a lamp suspended from the ceiling. Christabel! It was
Winifred gazing at this figure—gazing as though fascinated; her dark
hair falling and tumbling down her neck, till it was at last partly
lost between her shining bosom and her nightdress. Yes, and in her
blue eyes there was the same concentration of light, there was the
same uprolling of the lips, there was the same dreadful gleaming of
the teeth, the same swollen veins about the throat that I had seen in
Wales. No wonder that at first I could see only the face and figure
of Winifred. My consciousness had again dwindled to a single point.
In a few seconds, however, I perceived that the scene was an antique
oak-panelled chamber, corniced with large and curiously-carven
figures, upon which played the warm light from a silver lamp
suspended from the middle of the ceiling by a twofold silver chain
fastened to the feet of an angel, quaintly carved in the dark wood of
the ceiling. It was beneath this lamp that stood the majestic figure
of the beautiful stranger, the Lady Geraldine. As she bent her head
to look at her bosom, which she was about fully to uncover, the
lamp-light gleaming among the gems and flashing in her hair and down
her loosened white silken robe to her naked feet, shining,
blue-veined and half-hidden in the green rushes that covered the
floor, she seemed to be herself the source from which the lurid light
was shed about the room. But her eyes were brighter than all. They
were more dreadful by far to look at than Winifred's own—they were
rolling wildly as if in an agony of hate, while she was drawing in
her breath till that marble throat of hers seemed choking. It was not
upon her eyes, however, that Winifred's were fixed: it was upon the
lady's bosom, for out from beneath the partially-loosened robes that
covered that bosom a tiny fork of flame was flickering like a
serpent's tongue ruddy from the fires of a cruel and monstrous hate
within.
This sight was dreadful enough; but it was not the terror on
Winifred's face that now sent me reeling against Sleaford, who with
my mother had followed me into the smaller room. Whose figure was
that, and whose was the face which at first I had half-recognised in
the Lady Geraldine? My mother's!
In painting this subject Wilderspin had, without knowing it, worked
with too strong a reminiscence of my mother's portrait, unconscious
that he was but giving expression to the awful irony of Heaven.
I turned round. Wilderspin was supporting with difficulty my mother's
dead weight. For the first time (as I think) in her life, she whom,
until I came to know Sinfi Lovell, I had believed to be the
strongest, proudest, bravest woman living, had fainted.
'Dear me!' said Wilderspin, 'I had no idea that Christabel's terror
was so strongly rendered,—no idea! Art should never produce an
effect like this. Romantic art knows nothing of a mere sensational
illusion. Dear me!—I must soften it at once.'
He was evidently quite unconscious that he had given my mother's
features to Geraldine, and attributed the effect to his own
superlative strength as a dramatic artist.
I ran to her: she soon recovered, but asked to be taken to Belgrave
Square at once. Wild as I was with the desire to go in quest of
Winifred; goaded as I was by a new, nameless, shapeless dread which
certain words of Wilderspin's had aroused, but which (like the dread
that had come to me on the night of my father's funeral) was too
appalling to confront, I was obliged to leave the studio and take my
mother to the house of my aunt, who was, I knew, waiting to start for
the yacht.
THE IRONY OF HEAVEN
As we stepped into the carriage, Sleaford, full of sympathy, jumped
in. This fortunately prevented a conversation that would have been
intolerable both to my mother and to me.
'Studio oppressively close,' said Sleaford; 'usual beastly smell of
turpentine and pigments and things. Why the dooce don't these fellows
ventilate their studios before they get ladies to go to see their
paintin's!' This he kept repeating, but got no response from either
of us.
As to me, let me honestly confess that I had but one thought: how
much time would be required to go to Belgrave Square and back to the
studio, to learn the whereabouts of Winifred. 'But she's safe,' I
kept murmuring, in answer to that rising dread: 'Wilderspin said she
was safe.'
During that drive to Belgrave Square, he whose bearing towards my
mother was that of the anxious, loving son was not I, the only living
child of her womb, but poor, simple, empty-headed Sleaford.
When we reached Belgrave Square my mother declared that she had
entirely recovered from the fainting fit, but I scarcely dared to
look into those haggard eyes of hers, which showed only too plainly
that the triumph of remorse in her bosom was now complete. My aunt,
who seemed to guess that something lowering to the family had taken
place, was impatient to get on board the yacht. I saw how my mother
now longed to remain and learn the upshot of events; but I told her
that she was far better away now, and that I would write to her and
keep her posted up in the story day by day. I bade them a hurried
'Good-bye.'
'How shall I be able to stay out of England until I know all about
her?' said my mother. 'Go back and learn all about her, Henry, and
write to me; and be sure to get and take care of that dreadful
picture, and write to me about that also.'
When the carriage left I walked rapidly along the Square, looking
for a hansom. In a second or two Sleaford was by my side. He took my
arm.
'I suppose you're goin' back to cane him, aren't you?' said he.
'Cane whom?' I said impatiently, for that intolerable thought which
I have hinted at was now growing within my brain, and I must, must
be alone to grapple with it.
'Cane the d——d painter, of course,' said Sleaford, opening his
great blue eyes in wonder that such a question should be asked.
'Awfully bad form that fellow goin' and puttin' your mother in the
picture. But that's just the way with these fellows.'
'What do you mean?' I asked again.
'What do I mean? The paintin' and writin' fellows. You can't make a
silk purse out of a sow's ear, as I've often and often said to Cyril
Aylwin; and by Jove, I'm right for once. I suppose I needn't ask you
if you're going back to cane him.'
'Wilderspin did what he did quite unconsciously,' I replied, as I
hailed a hansom. 'It was the finger of God.'
'The finger of—Oh come! That be hanged, old chap.'
'Good-bye,' I said, as I jumped into the hansom.
'But you don't mean to say you are goin' to let a man put your mother
into—'
I heard no more. The terrible idea which had been growing in my
brain, shaping itself out of a nebulous mass of reminiscences of what
had just occurred at the studio, was now stinging me to madness.
Wilderspin's extreme dejection, the strange way in which he had
seemed inclined to evade answering my question as to the safety of
Winifred, the look of pity on his face as at last he answered 'quite
safe'—what did all these indications portend? At every second the
thought grew and grew, till my brain seemed like a vapour of fire,
and my eyeballs seemed to scorch their sockets as I cried aloud:
'Have I found her at last to lose her?'
On reaching the studio door I rapped: before the servant had time to
answer my summons, I rapped again till the sounds echoed along the
street. When my summons was answered, I rushed upstairs. Wilderspin
stood at the studio door, listening, apparently, to the sound of the
blacksmith's anvil coming in from the back of Maud Street through the
open window. Though his sorrowful face told all, I cried out,
'Wilderspin, she's safe? You said she was safe?'
'My friend,' said Wilderspin solemnly, 'the news I have to give you
is news that I knew you would rather receive when you could hear it
alone.'
'You said she was safe!'
'Yes, safe indeed! She whom you, under some strange but no doubt
beneficent hallucination, believe to be the lady you lost in Wales,
is safe indeed, for she is in the spirit-land with her whose blessing
lent her to me—she has returned to her who was once a female
blacksmith at Oldhill, and is now the brightest, sweetest, purest
saint in Paradise.'
Dead! My soul had been waiting for the word—expecting it ever since
I left the studio with my mother—but now it sounded more dreadful
than if it had come as a surprise.
'Tell me all,' I cried, 'at once—at once. She did not return, you
say, on the day following the catastrophe—when did she return?—when
did you next see her?'
'I never saw her again alive,' answered Wilderspin mournfully; 'but
you are so pale, Mr. Aylwin, and your eyes are so wild, I had better
defer telling you what little more there is to tell until you have
quite recovered from the shock.'
'No; now, now.'
Wilderspin looked with a deep sigh at the picture of 'Faith and
Love,' fired by the lights of sunset, where Winnie's face seemed
alive.
'Well,' said he, 'as she did not come, I worked at my painting of
"Ruth" all day; and on the next morning, as I was starting for
Primrose Court to seek her, Mrs. Gudgeon came kicking frantically at
the street-door. When it was opened, she came stamping upstairs, and
as I advanced to meet her, she shook her fists in my face, shouting
out: "I could tear your eyes out, you vagabones." "Why, what is the
matter?" I asked in great surprise. "You've bin and killed her,
that's all," said the woman, foaming at the mouth. She then told me
that her daughter, almost immediately on reaching home after having
left the studio in the company of my servant, had fallen down in a
swoon. A succession of swoons followed. She never rallied. She was
then lying dead in Primrose Court.'
'And what then? Answer me quickly.'
'She asked me to give her money that her daughter might be buried
respectably and not by the parish. I told her it was all
hallucination about the girl being her daughter, and that a spiritual
body could not be buried, but she seemed so genuinely distressed that
I gave her the money.'
'Spiritual body! Hallucination!' I said. 'I heard her voice in the
London streets, and she was seen selling baskets at the theatre door.
Where shall I find the house?'
'It is of no use for you to go there,' he said.
'Nothing shall prevent my going at once.' A feverish yearning had
come upon me to see the body.
'If you will go,' said Wilderspin, 'it is No. 2 Primrose Court,
Great Queen Street, Holborn.
I hurried out of the house, and soon finding a cab I drove to Great
Queen Street.
My soul had passed now into another torture-chamber. It was being
torn between two warring, maddening forces—the passionate desire to
see her body, and the shrinking dread of undergoing the ordeal. At
one moment I felt—as palpably as I felt it, on the betrothal
night—her slim figure, soft as a twine of flowers in my arms: at the
next I was clasping a corpse—a rigid corpse in rags. And yet I can
scarcely say that I had any thoughts. At Great Queen Street I
dismissed the cab, and had some little difficulty in finding Primrose
Court, a miserable narrow alley. I knocked at a door which, even in
that light, I could see was a peculiarly wretched one. After a
considerable delay the door was opened and a face peered out—the
face of the woman whom I had seen in Cyril's studio. She did not at
first seem to recognise me. She was evidently far gone in liquor, and
looked at me, murmuring, 'You're one o' the cussed body-snatchers; I
know you: you belong to the Rose Alley "Forty Thieves." You'll
swing—every man Jack o' ye'll swing yet, mind if you don't.'
At the sight of the squalid house in which Winifred had lived and
died I passed into a new world of horror. Dead matter had become
conscious, and for a second or two it was not the human being before
me, but the rusty iron, the broken furniture, the great patches of
brick and dirty mortar where the plaster had fallen from the
walls,—it was these which seemed to have life—a terrible life—and
to be talking to me, telling me what I dared not listen to about the
triumph of evil over good. I knew that the woman was still speaking,
but for a time I heard no sound—my senses could receive no
impressions save from the sinister eloquence of the dead and yet
living matter around me. Not an object there that did not seem
charged with the wicked message of the heartless Fates.
At length, and as I stood upon the doorstep, a trembling, a mighty
expectance, seized me like an ague-fit; and I heard myself saying, 'I
am come to see the body, Mrs. Gudgeon.' Then I saw her peer,
blinking, into my face, as she said,
'Oh, oh, it's you, is it? It's one o' the lot as keeps the
studeros, is it?—the cussed Chelsea lot as killed her. I recklet yer
a-starin' at the goddess Joker! So you've come to see my poor
darter's body, are you? How werry kind, to be sure! Pray come in,
gentleman, an' pray let the beautiful goddess Joker be perlite an'
show sich a nice kind wisiter the way upstairs.'
She took a candle, and with a mincing, mocking movement, curtseying
low at every step, she backed before me, and then stood waiting at
the foot of the staircase with a drunken look of satire on her
features.
'Pray go upstairs fust, gentleman,' said she; 'I can't think o' goin'
up fust, an' lettin' my darter's kind wisiter foller behind like a
sarvint. I 'opes we knows our manners better nor that comes to in
Primrose Court.'
'None of this foolery now, woman,' said I. 'There's a time for
everything, you know.'
'How right he is!' she exclaimed, nodding to the flickering candle
in her hand. 'There's a time for everything an' this is the time for
makin' a peep-show of my pore darter's body. Oh, yes!'
I mounted a shaky staircase, the steps of which were, some of them,
so broken away that the ascent was no easy matter. The miserable
light from the woman's candle, as I entered the room, seemed suddenly
to shoot up in a column of dazzling brilliance that caused me to
close my eyes in pain, so unnaturally sensitive had they been
rendered by the terrible expectance of the sight that was about to
sear them.
When I re-opened my eyes, I perceived that in the room there was one
window, which looked like a trap-door; on the red pantiles of the
opposite roof lay a smoke-dimmed sheet of moonlight. On the floor at
the further end of the garret, where the roof met the boards at a
sharp angle, a mattress was spread. Then speech came to me.
'Not there!' I groaned, pointing to the hideous black-looking bed,
and turning my head away in terror. The woman burst into a cackling
laugh.
'Not there? Who said she was there? I didn't. If you can see
anythink there besides a bed an' a quilt, you've got eyes as can make
picturs out o' nothink, same as my darter's eyes could make 'em, pore
dear.'
'Ah, what do you mean?' I cried, leaping to the side of the mattress,
upon which I now saw that no dead form was lying.
For a moment a flash of joy as dazzling as a fork of lightning seemed
to strike through my soul and turn my blood into a liquid fire that
rose and blinded my eyes.
'Not dead,' I cried; 'no, no, no! The pitiful heavens would have
rained blood and tears at such a monstrous tragedy. She is not
dead—not dead after all! The hideous dream is passing.'
'Oh, ain't she dead, pore dear?—ain't she? She's dead enough for
one,' said the woman; 'but 'ow can she be there on that mattress,
when she's buried, an' the prayers read over her, like the darter of
the most 'spectable mother as ever lived in Primrose Court! That's
what the neighbours say o' me. The most 'spectable mother as
ever—'
'Buried!' I said, 'who buried her?'
'Who buried her? Why the parish, in course.'
Despair then again seemed to send a torrent of ice-water through my
veins. But after a time the passionate desire to see her body leapt
up within my heart.
At this moment Wilderspin, who had evidently followed me with
remarkable expedition, came upstairs and stood by my side.
'I must go and see the grave,' I said to him. 'I must see her face
once more. I must petition the Home Secretary. Nothing can and
nothing shall prevent my seeing her—no, not if I have to dig down to
her with my nails.'
'An' who the dickens are you as takes on so about my darter?' said
the woman, holding the candle to my face.
'Drunken brute!' said I. 'Where is she buried?'
'Well, I'm sure!' said the woman in a mincing, sarcastic voice. 'How
werry unperlite you is all at wonst! how werry rude you speaks to
such a werry 'spectable party as I am! You seem to forgit who I am.
Ain't I the goddess as likes to 'ave 'er little joke, an' likes to
wet both eyes, and as plays sich larks with her flummeringeroes and
drumming-dairies an' ring-tailed monkeys an' men?'
When I saw the creature whip up the quilt from the mattress, and,
holding it over her head like a veil, leer hideously in imitation of
Cyril's caricature, a shudder went again through my frame—a strange
kind of dementia came upon me; my soul again seemed to leave my
body—seemed to be lifted through the air and beyond the stars,
crying, in agony, 'Shall there be evil in a city, and the Lord hath
not done it?' Yet all the while, though my soul seemed fleeing
through infinite space, where a pitiless universe was waltzing madly
round a ball of cruel fire—all the while I was acutely conscious of
looking down upon the dreadful dream-world below, looking down into a
frightful garret where a dialogue between two dream-figures was going
on—a dialogue between Wilderspin and the woman, each word of which
struck upon my ears like a sharp-edged flint, though it seemed
millions of miles away.
* * * * *
'What made you trick me like this? Where is the money I gave you for
the funeral?'
'That's werry true, about that money, an' where is it? The orkerdest
question about money allus is—"Where is it?" The money for that
funeral I 'ad, I won't deny that. The orkard question ain't that:
it's "Where is it?" But you see, arter I left your studero I sets on
that pore gal's bed a-cryin' fit to bust; then I goes out into
Clement's Alley, and I calls on Mrs. Mix—that's a werry dear friend
of mine, the mother o' seven child'n as are allus a-settin' on my
doorstep, an' she comes out of Yorkshire you must know, an' she's bin
a streaker in her day (for she was well off wonst was Mrs. Mix afore
she 'ad them seven dirty-nosed child'n as sets on her neighbours'
doorsteps)—an' she sez, sez she, "My pore Meg" (meanin' me), "I've
bin the mother o' fourteen beautiful clean-nosed child'n, an' I've
streaked an' buried seven on 'em, so I ought to know somethink about
corpuses, an' I tell you this corpse o' your darter's must be
streaked an' buried at wonst, for she died in a swownd. An' there's
nothink like the parishes for buryin' folk quick, an' I dessay the
coffin's ordered by this time, an' I dessay the gent gev you that
money just to make you comforble like, seein' as he killed your
darter." That's what Mrs. Mix says to me. So the parish comed an'
brought a coffin an' tookt her, pore dear. And I've cried myself
stupid-like, bein' her pore mother as 'es lost her on'y darter—an'
I was just a-tryin' to make myself comfable when this 'ere young toff
as seems so werry drunk comes a-rappin' at my door fit to rap the
'ouse down.'
'Has she been buried at all? How can a spiritual body be buried?'
'"Buried at all?" What do you mean by insinivatin' to the pore gal's
conflicted mother as she p'raps ain't buried at all? You're a-makin'
me cry ag'in. She lays comfable enough underneath a lot of other
coffins, in the pauper part of the New North Cimingtary.'
'Underneath a lot of others; how can that be?'
'What! ain't you toffs never seed a pauper finneral? Now that's a
pity; and sich nice toffs as they are, a-settin' theirselves up to
look arter the darters o' pore folks. P'raps you never thought how we
was buried. We're buried, when our time comes, and then they're werry
kind to us, the parish toffs is:—It's in a lump—six at a time—as
they buries us, and sich nice deal coffins they makes us, the parish
toffs does, an' sich nice lamp-black they paints 'em with to make 'em
look as if they was covered over with the best black velvid; an' then
sich a nice sarmint—none o' your retail sarmints, but a hulsale
sarmint—they reads over the lot, an' into one hole they packs us one
atop o' the other, jest like a pile o' the werry best Yarmith
bloaters, an' that's a good deal more sociable an' comfable, the
parish toffs thinks, than puttin' us in single; so it is, for the
matter o' that.'
Then I heard no more; for at the intolerable picture called up by the
woman's words, my soul in its misery seemed to have soared, scared
and trembling, above and beyond the heavens at whose futile gates it
had been moaning, till at last it sank at the feet of the mighty
power that my love had striven with on the sands of Raxton when the
tide was coming in—some pale and cruel ruler whose brow I saw
wrinkled with the woman's mocking smile—some frightful
columbine-queen, wicked, bowelless, and blind, shaking a starry cap
and bells, and chanting—
I lent the drink of Day
To gods for feast;
I poured the river of Night
On gods surceased:
Their blood was Nin-ki-gal's.
And there, at the feet of the awful jesting hag, Circumstance, I
could only cry 'Winnie! my poor Winnie!' while over my head seemed to
pass Necessity and her black ages of despair.
When I came to myself I said to the woman,
'You can point out the grave?'
'Well, yes,' paid slip, turning round sharply; 'but may I ax who the
dickens you are?—an' what makes you so cut up about a pore woman's
darter? It's right-on beautiful to see how kind gentlemen is
nowadays': and she turned and tried, stumbling, to lead the way
downstairs.
As we left the room I turned round to look at it. The picture of the
mattress, now nearly hidden in the shadows—the picture of the other
furniture in the room—two chairs—or rather one and a part of a
chair, for the rails of the hack were gone—a table, a large brown
jug, the handle of which had been replaced by a piece of string, and
a white washhand-basin, with most of the rim broken away, and a
shallow tub apparently used for a bath—seemed to sink into my flesh
as though bitten in by the etcher's aquafortis. Winifred's
sleeping-room!
'Of course she wasn't her daughter,' said Wilderspin meditatively, as
we stood on the stairs.
'Not my darter! Why, in course she was. What an imperent thing to
say, sure_lie_!'
'There is one thing I wish to say to you,' said he to the woman.
'When I agreed with you as to the sum to be paid for the model's
sittings, it was clearly understood that she was to sit to no other
artist, and that the match-selling was to cease.
'Well, and 'ave I broke my word?'
'A person has heard her singing and seen her selling baskets,' I
said.
'The person tells a lie,' said the woman, with a dogged and sullen
look, and in a voice that grew thicker with every word. 'Ain't there
sich things as doubles?'
At these last words my heart gave a sudden leap. We left the house,
and neither of us spoke till we got into the Strand.
'Did you see the—body at all?' I asked Wilderspin.
'Oh, yes. After I gave her the money for the funeral I went to
Primrose Court. The woman took me upstairs, and there on the mattress
lay—what the poor woman believed to be the earthly body of an
earthly daughter. It was covered with a quilt. Over the face a ragged
shawl had been thrown.'
'Yes, yes. She raised the shawl?'
'Yes, the woman went and held the candle over the head of the
mattress and uncovered the face; and there lay she whom the woman
believed to be her daughter, and whom you believe to be the young
lady you seek, but whom I know to be a spiritual body—the perfect
type that was sent to me in order that I might fulfil my mission. You
groan, Mr. Aylwin, but remember that you have lost only a dream, a
beautiful hallucination; I have lost a reality: there is nothing real
but the spiritual world.
As I wandered about the streets after parting from Wilderspin, what
were my emotions? If I could put them into words, is there one human
being in ten thousand who would understand me? Happily, no. For there
is not one in ten thousand who, having sounded the darkest depths of
human misery, will know how strong is Hope when at the true
death-struggle with Despair. 'Hope in the human breast,' wrote my
father, 'is a passion, a wild, a lawless, and an indomitable passion,
that almost no cruelty of Fate can conquer.'
Many a passer-by in the streets of London that night must have asked
himself, What lunatic is this at large? At one moment I would bound
along the pavement as though propelled by wings, scarcely seeming to
touch the pavement with my feet. At the next I would stop in a cold
perspiration and say to myself, 'Idiot, is it possible that you, so
learned in suffering—you, whom Destiny, or Heaven, or Hell, has
taken in hand as a special sport—can befool yourself with Hope now,
after the terrible comedy by which you and the ancestral idiots from
whom you sprang amused Queen Nin-ki-gal in Raxton crypt?'
Hope and Despair were playing at shuttlecock with my soul. Underneath
my misery there flickered a thought which, wild as it was, I dared
not dismiss—the thought that, after all, it might not be Winifred
who had died in that den. Possible it was—however improbable—that I
might be labouring under a delusion. My imagination might have
exaggerated a resemblance into actual identity, and Winifred and she
whom Wilderspin painted might be two different persons—and there
might be hope even yet. But so momentous was the issue to my soul,
that the mere fact of having clearly marshalled the arguments on the
side of Hope made my reason critical and suspicious of their cogency.
From the sweet sophisms that my reason had called up, I turned, and
there stood Despair, ready for me behind a phalanx of arguments,
which laughed all Hope's 'ragged regiment' to scorn.
Had not my mother recognised her? Could the infallible perceptive
faculties of my mother be also deceived?
But to accept the fact that she who died on that mattress was little
Winnie of the sands was to go stark mad, and the very instinct of
self-preservation made me clutch at every sophism Hope could offer.
'Did not the woman declare that the singing-girl and the model were
not one and the same?' said Hope. 'And if she did not lie, may you
not have been, after all, hunting a shadow through London?'
'It might not have been Winifred,' I shouted.
But no sooner had I done so than the scene in the
studio—Wilderspin's story of the model's terror on seeing my
mother's portrait—came upon me, and 'Dead! dead!' rang through me
like a funeral knell: all the superstructure of Hope's sophisms was
shattered in a moment like a house of cards: my imagination flew
away to all the London graveyards I had ever heard of; and there, in
the part divided by the pauper line, my soul hovered over a grave
newly made, and then dived down from coffin to coffin, one piled
above another, till it reached Winifred, lying pressed down by the
superincumbent mass; those eyes staring.
Yes; that night I was mad!
I could not walk fatigue into my restless limbs. Morning broke in
curdling billows of fire over the east of London—which even at this
early hour was slowly growing hazy with smoke. I found myself in
Primrose Court, looking at that squalid door, those squalid windows.
I knocked at the door. No answer came to my summons, and I knocked
again and again. Then a window opened above my head, and I heard the
well-known voice of the woman exclaiming,
'Who's that? Poll Onion's out to-night, and the rooms are emp'y 'cept
mine. Why, God bless me, man, is it you?'
'Hag! that was not your daughter.'
She slammed the window down.
'Let me in, or I will break the door.'
The window was opened again.
'Lucky as I didn't leave the front door open to-night, as I mostly
do. What do you want to skear a pore woman for?' she bawled. 'Go
away, else I'll call up the people in Great Queen Street.'
'Mrs. Gudgeon, all I want to do is to ask you a question.'
'Ah, but that's what you jis' won't do, my fine gentleman. I don't
let you in again in a hurry.'
'I will give you a sovereign.'
'Honour bright?' bawled the old woman; 'let me look at it.'
'Here it is, in my hand.'
'Jink it on the stuns.'
I threw it down.
'Quid seems to jink all right, anyhow,' she said, 'though I'm more
used to the jink of a tanner than a quid in these cussed times. You
won't skear me if I come down?'
'No, no.'
At last I heard her fumbling inside at the lock, and then the door
opened.
'Why, man alive! your eyes are afire jist like a cat's wi' drownded
kitlins.'
'She was not your daughter.'
'Not my darter?' said she, as she stooped to pick up the sovereign.
'You ain't a-goin' to catch me the likes o' that. The Beauty not my
darter! All the court knows she was my own on'y darter. I'll swear
afore all the beaks in London as I'm the mother of my own on'y darter
Winifred, allus' wur 'er mother, and allus wull be; an' if she went
a-beggin' it worn't my fort. She liked beggin', poor dear; some gals
does.'
'Her name Winifred!' I cried, with a pang at my heart as sharp as
though there had been a reasonable hope till now.
'In course her name was Winifred.'
'Liar! How came she to be called Winifred?'
'Well, I'm sure! Mayn't a Welshman's wife give her own on'y Welsh
darter a Welsh name? Us poor folks is come to somethink! P'raps
you'll say I ain't a Welshman's wife next? It's your own cussed lot
as killed her, ain't it? What did I tell the shiny Quaker when fust I
tookt her to the studero? I sez to the shiny un, "She's jist a bit
touched here," I sez' (tapping her own head), '"and nothink upsets
her so much as to be arsted a lot o' questions," I sez to the shiny
un. "The less you talks to her," I sez, "the better you'll get on
with her," I sez, "and the better kind o' pictur you'll make out on
her," I sez to the shiny un; "an' don't you go an' arst who her
father is," I sez, "for that word 'ull bring such a horful look on
her face," I sez, "as is enough to skear anybody to death. I sha'n't
forget the look the fust time I seed it," I sez. That's what I sez to
the shiny Quaker. An' yit you did go an' worrit 'er, a-arstin' 'er a
lot o' questions about 'er father. You did—I know you did! You
must 'a done it—so no lies; for that wur the on'y thing as ever
skeared 'er, arstin' 'er about 'er father, pore dear….Why, man
alive! what are you a-gurnin' at? an' what are you a-smackin' your
forred wi' your 'and like that for, an' a-gurnin' in my face like a
Chessy cat? Blow'd if I don't b'lieve you're drunk. An' who the
dickens are you a-callin' a fool, Mr. Imperance?'
It was not the woman but myself I was cursing when I cried out,
'Fool! besotted fool!'
Not till now had the wild hope fled which had led me back to the den.
As I stood shuddering on the doorstep in the cold morning light,
while the whole unbearable truth broke in upon me, I could hear my
lips murmuring,
'Fool of ancestral superstitions! Fenella Stanley's fool! Philip
Aylwin's fool! Where was the besotted fool and plaything of besotted
ancestors, when the truth was burning so close beneath his eyes that
it is wonderful they were not scorched into recognising it? Where was
he when, but for superstitions grosser than those of the negroes on
the Niger banks, he might have saved the living heart and centre of
his little world? Where was the rationalist when, but for
superstitions sucked in with his mother's milk, he would have gone to
a certain studio, seen a certain picture which would have sent him on
the wings of the wind to find and rescue and watch over the one for
whom he had renounced all the ties of kindred? Where was then the
most worthy descendant of a line of ancestral idiots—Romany and
Gorgio—stretching back to the days when man's compeers, the mammoth
and the cave-bear, could have taught him better? Rushing down to
Raxton church to save her!—to save her by laying a poor little
trinket upon a dead man's breast!'
After the paroxysm of self-scorn had partly exhausted itself, I
stood staring in the woman's face.
'Well,' said she, 'I thought the shiny Quaker was a rum un, but blow
me if you ain't a rummyer.
'Her name was Winifred, and the word "father" produced fits,' I said,
not to the woman, but to my soul, in mocking answer to its own woe.
'What about my father's spiritualism now? Good God! Is there no other
ancestral tomfoolery, no other of Superstition's patent Aylwinian
soul-salves for the philosophical Nature-worshipper and apostle of
rationalism to fly to? Her name was Winifred.
'Yis; don't I say 'er name wur Winifred?' said the woman, who thought
I was addressing her. 'You're jist like a poll-parrit with your
"Winifred, Winifred, Winifred." That was 'er name, an' she 'ad a
shock, pore dear, an' it was all along of you at the studero
a-talkin' about 'er father. You must a-talked about 'er father: so
no lies. She 'ad fits arter that, in course she 'ad. Why, you'll make
me die a-larfin' with your poll-parritin' ways, sayin' "a shock, a
shock, a shock," arter me. In course she 'ad a shock; she 'ad it when
she was a little gal o' six. My pore Bill (that's my 'usband as now
lives in the fine 'Straley) was a'most killed a-fightin' a Irishman.
They brought 'im 'um an' laid 'im afore her werry eyes, an' the sight
throw'd 'er into high-strikes, an' arter that the name of "father"
allus throwed her into high-strikes, an' that's why I told 'em at the
studero never to say that word. An' I know you must 'a' said it,
some o' your cussed lot must, or else why should my pore darter 'a'
'ad the high-strikes? Nothin' else never gev 'er no high-strikes only
talkin' to 'er about 'er father. An' as to me a-sendin' 'er
a-beggin', I tell you she liked beggin'. I gev her baskets to sell,
an' flowers to sell, an' yet she would beg. I tell you she liked
beggin'. Some gals does. She was touched in the 'ead, an' she used to
say she must beg, an' there was nothink she used to like so much as
to stan' with a box o' matches a-jabberin' a tex' out o' the Bible
unless it was singin'. There you are, a-larfin' and a-gurnin' ag'in.
If I wur on'y 'arf as drunk as you are the coppers 'ud 'a' run me
in hours ago; cuss 'em, an' their favouritin' ways.'
At the truth flashing in upon me through these fantastic lies, I had
passed into that mood when the grotesque wickedness of Fate's awards
can draw from the victim no loud lamentations—when there are no
frantic blows aimed at the sufferer's own poor eyeballs till the
beard—like the self-mutilated Theban king's—is bedewed with a dark
hail-shower of blood. More terrible because more inhuman than the
agony imagined by the great tragic poet is that most awful condition
of the soul into which I had passed—when the cruelty that seems to
work at Nature's heart, and to vitalise a dark universe of pain,
loses its mysterious aspect and becomes a mockery; when the whole
vast and merciless scheme seems too monstrous to be confronted save
by mad peals of derisive laughter—that dreadful laughter which
bubbles lower than the fount of tears—that laughter which is the
heart's last language; when no words can give it the relief of
utterance—no words, nor wails, nor moans.
'Another quid,' bawled the woman after me, as I turned away, 'another
quid, an' then I'll tell you somethink to your awantage. Out with it,
and don't spile a good mind.'
What I did and said that morning as I wandered through the streets of
London in that state of tearless despair and mad unnatural merriment,
one hour of which will age a man more than a decade of any woe that
can find a voice in lamentations, remains a blank in my memory.
I found myself at the corner of Essex Street, staring across the
Strand, which, even yet, had scarcely awoke into life. Presently I
felt my sleeve pulled, and heard the woman's voice.
'You didn't know as I was cluss behind you all the while, a-watchin'
your tantrums. Never spile a good mind, my young swell. Out with
t'other quid, an' then I'll tell you somethink about my pootty darter
as is on my mind.'
I gave her money, but got nothing from her save more incoherent lies
and self-contradictions about the time of the funeral.
'Point out the spot where she used to stand and beg. No, don't stand
on it yourself, but point it out.'
'This is the werry spot. She used to hold out her matches like this
'ere,—my darter used,—an' say texes out o' the Bible. She loved
beggin', pore dear!'
'Texts from the Bible?' I said, staggering under a new thought that
seemed to strike through me like a bar of hot metal. 'Can you
remember any one of them?'
'It was allus the same tex', an' I ought to remember it well enough,
for I've 'eerd it times enough. She wur like you for poll-parritin'
ways, and used to say the same thing over an' over ag'in. It wur
allus, "Let his children be wagabones and beg their bread; let them
seek it also out of desolate places." Why, you're at it
ag'in—gurnin' ag'in. You must be drunk.'
Again there came upon me the involuntary laughter of heart-agony at
its tensest. I cried aloud: 'Faith and Love! Faith and Love! That
farce of the Raxton crypt with the great-grandmother's fool on his
knees shall be repeated for the delight of Nin-ki-gal and the Danish
skeletons and the ancestral ghosts from Hugh the Crusader down to the
hero of the knee-caps and mittens; and there shall be a dance of
death and a song, and the burden shall be—
As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods:
They kill us for their sport.'
Misery had made me a maniac at last; my brain swam, and the head of
the woman seemed to be growing before me—seemed once more to be
transfigured before me into a monstrous mountainous representation of
an awful mockery-goddess and columbine-queen, down whose merry
wrinkles were flowing tears that were at once tears of Olympian
laughter and tears of the oceanic misery of Man.
'Well, you are a rum un, and no mistake,' said the woman. 'But who
the dickens are you? That's what licks me. Who the dickens are
you? Howsomever, if you'll fork out another quid, the Queen of the
Jokes'll tell you some'ink to your awantage, an' if you won't fork
out the Queen o' the Jokes is mum.'
I stood and looked at her—looked till the street seemed to heave
under my feet and the houses to rock. After this I seem to have
wandered back to Wilderspin's studio, and there to have sunk down
unconscious.