At Hotel On-de-Blink

At Hotel On-de-Blink — CHARACTERS — PROPERTIES

(As originally cast)

Newspaper on counter. Lamp on counter—lighted. Grip for S. L. Case to carry. Baby—big doll—for Gretch to fetch on.

Place signs about:

• “Tripe, 5c. a yard; 3 ft. for a nickel.”
• “Board, 5c. a foot.”
• “Eye scream, 10c. a porchun.”
• “Eggs, 1 month or younger, 2c. each.”
• Etc., etc., etc.

Copyright, 1916, by Walter H. Baker & Co.

COSTUMES

Programme

Hotel On-de-Blink

Part the First

Intermission.

Part the Second

At Hotel On-de-Blink

Hop (entering D. L.). Schultz, room fifty-nine says send him a pousse-café and charge it.

Hans. Go back und tell him ve don’t charge anything but storage batteries.

[Exit Hop.

Ruff. Landlord, where’s that fine little kitten you had the last time I was here?

Hans. Vell—she——

Ruff. I hope you didn’t poison her?

Hans. No, you see she——

Case. Was she drowned?

Hans. No—she——

Tony. Somebody make-a steal?

Hans. No, you see——

Weber. Well, what de debil happened to her?

Hans. Vy, she growed into a cat.

Weber. Dat’s jes’ de trouble wif women.

Case. Do they grow into cats?

Tony. ’At’s da madda? You talk-a about da lady?

Weber. Well, firs’ dey is jes’ spring chickens, den dey’s suffragettes, den dey’s get to be ole hens.

Tony. You no like-a suffamayettes?

Weber. I should say not.

Case. Why are you so set against suffragettes?

Weber. Why, man, women ain’t got the intellectual habilitation ter hash up de political problems ob state. Even we men don’t know what we’re talkin’ ’bout half de time when we’s discussin’ politics.

Ruff. Whoopee, you shure is got some co-loboratory of words. I wonder if you could tell us de longest sentence in de English language? It contains about one hundred and forty words.

Weber. No, sir, dat’s wrong.

Case. How many words does it contain?

Weber. Only one.

Hans. Only von? Iss id dot you means to tell us dot der longest sentence of der language has only von vord in id?

Weber. I mean to expostulate dat de longest sentence in de world has only one word therein it.

Case. And what’s that?

Weber. Life.

Enter Miss Gotrox and Gretch, L. 1 E.

Hans (smiling and bowing). Aha, Miss Gotrox, you iss all dressed up now already yet.

Miss G. Yes; do I look nice enough to go promenading?

Hans. Ach, yes, I bane like you all in vite. Vite hat, vite dress—vite shoes, vite sdockings.

Gretch. I bane tink mosquitoes vould nod bite a lady ven she haf vite sdockings on.

Case. You don’t think so, why?

Hans. Pecause all der mosquitoes ve haf around here iss gentlemens.

Gretch. You bane going to der lecture, Miss Gotrox?

Miss G. What lecture?

Gretch. At der church. I bane tink der man iss going to sbeak on der subject of “Favorite Hymns.”

Miss G. “Favorite Hymns”? Well, I’m not going to the lecture, but I’m hoping to meet my favorite him this evening.

Ruff. Aha, there’s where two is company.

Weber. And three’s a crowd.

Hans. Ach, doss iss nicht recht. Dwo is matrimony, dree iss alimony.

Case. You seem very much in love with the love man.

Miss G. I am——

Case. Is he bashful, or is he—fast?

Hans. He ain’t fast mit his creditors.

(Song.)

Ruff. Are you going to marry the young man you spoke of, Miss Gotrox?

Miss G. If I can make him propose.

Hans. You vass tinking of matrimony, den?

Miss G. Yes.

Ruff. Have you had any experience with children?

Weber. What a foolish question. Wasn’t she a child once herself?

Case. Has the young man any accomplishments?

Miss G. Well, he plays the piano very well.

Gretch. I bane tink if dot biano could dalk, it vould say: You haf blayed me false.

Hans. Gretch, you should nod sbeak dot way to Miss Gotrox. She iss a beautiful lady, und voman iss a great creation. Vy—man has taken a voman’s head to decorate our coin.

Case. Yes, and the milliner has taken quite a few of my coins to decorate a certain woman’s head.

Miss G. Landlord, where is the nearest candy shop?

Hans (thinking). Er—er—middle in der block.

Case. Say, landlord, there’s a hotel man down in New Orleans by the name of Seitz. Do you know him?

Hans. Might I do. Vot’s his name?

Gretch. I bane tink you use very little bowder, Miss Gotrox.

Miss G. Why—yes, I do. But still I do use a little powder and cream.

Case. That’s strange.

Miss G. What’s strange?

Case. That you use very little.

Ruff. What? Why, it seems to me that woman would sooner hear about the discovery of a new complexion cream than to learn of the invention of a torpedo-proof battle-ship.

Miss G. Why, certainly. When this world comes to its senses, battle-ships will not be needed, but a good complexion will be more in demand than ever.

Case. That may be true, but a sensible man would sooner have a woman just as nature meant her to be, without all that paint and powder.

Miss G. Yes, but there seems to be very few sensible men. There is art in a good complexion.

Case. And what art rivals nature? A little powder may change a complexion, but what art equals nature in her many changes? Take a waterfall for instance; how beautiful nature has made it, and then along comes winter and changes it into ice. What a remarkable change takes place.

Weber (sighing). Ah me, dat’s right:—

Ruff. You shouldn’t mind dat pessimist, Miss Gotrox; he is always down in de mouth.

Miss G. You shouldn’t be that way. When you feel down in the mouth, think of Jonah; he came out all right.

Case. Miss Gotrox, what do you think Jonah thought when he found himself inside the whale?

Weber (interrupting). I bet he thought he went to sleep inside a foldin’ bed en she closed up.

Tony. ’At’s da madda you? You make-a fuss all-a time. You make-a fuss you no gotta fuss-a fuss about.

Case. That’s what I say, Tony. (To Weber.) How do you think men live in a submarine?

Hans. Yah—dot’s right; yoost tink of all der varter around dem. I bet many of dem dies vrom humidity.

Ruff. (not comprehending). Humidity? Why—er—I thought de papers said it was from dyspepsia.

Miss G. (she had been looking outside). I would like to go down town, but all the cars seem jammed. I wonder what makes them so crowded this evening.

Weber. Beggin’ your pardon, Miss, but I reckon hit’s de number ob passengers dey’s carryin’.

(Song.)

Enter Archibald Nutt.

Nutt. Oh, Miss Gotrox, how delightfully lovely you look this eve.

Weber (business of fainting, etc.). Oh, Elizabeth, the cook stewed the cat.

Miss G. Why, Archie, I’m so glad to see you. How’s mother?

Nutt. Why, I’m angry at my mother.

Miss G. Angry at your mother? How terrible. Why so?

Nutt. Why, mother wants me to come in at eight o’clock, and I’ll do nothing of the kind.

Miss G. You won’t?

Nutt. No, I’ll come in at five minutes past eight.

Miss G. Oh, you shouldn’t be so naughty.

Nutt. Yes, I will—be very naughty. I’ll go out with the boys and I’ll smoke cigarettes and I’ll use cuss words.

Miss G. Oh, Archie, be careful. Remember you’re in my company, and here is Mr. Case. I’m sure he doesn’t use naughty words.

Nutt. Well (pleasantly), if it will relieve you, Miss Gotrox, I’ll promise not to teach him any. (Others give Case the laugh. Nutt, haughtily.) Well, what are you laughing at, me?

Ruff. Why, no, Genevieve.

Nutt. Then what else is there around here to laugh at?

Miss G. Archie, I’m sure they would not laugh at you if they knew you were a historian.

Case. Are you a historian?

Nutt (smiling). Uh-huh.

Case. Well, there’s something I have been trying to find out for a long time. Maybe you can tell me. What was Washington’s Farewell Address?

Weber. Heaven.

Nutt (screaming). Oh, you vulgar thing!

Weber. Vulgar? I thought that was well done.

Hans. Yah, I bane tink dot vass doo vell done.

Case. That’s going a little too far.

Miss G. Why, don’t you believe in doing all things well?

Case. Most assuredly.

Ruff. Suppose you set out to make a fool of yourself?

(Pause.)

Nutt. Oh, Weber, I’ve heard that your girl has a new auto.

Weber. Did yuh?

Nutt. Uh-huh. Who drives it?

Ruff. Nobody; dey coaxes it.

Nutt (to Miss G.). Do you know that Weber’s intended father-in-law is the funniest little man you ever saw?

Miss G. Is that possible?

Nutt. And he has only one eye, too.

Weber. Say, talkin’ ’bout dat ole man. De odder day I had him out wif me an’ I los’ him in de crowd. I went up to a policeman and I axes him: “Hofficer, I’m looking for a little man wif one eye.” What do you think dat ole fool tole me? He said: “Mose, if he’s so small, why don’t you use two eyes?”

Hop (entering L. 1 E.). Sir, a gentleman in the dining-room sends his compliments and says the steak he is eating is the first tender steak he has ever eaten here.

Hans. Ach himmel—dot feller got mine steak.

[Exit Hop.

Tony (who has been reading paper). Look-a dees. (Puzzled.) ’At’s a man-o’-war-ship?

Case. Why, a cruiser.

Tony. ’At makes her go?

Ruff. Its screw, sir.

Tony (bewildered). Who-a goes along?

Nutt. Why, its crew, sir.

(Tony, dumfounded, resumes his seat.)

Miss G. I think I’ll be going. Archie, will you be walking with me?

Nutt. Most assuredly.

[Exeunt.

Gretch. I bane tink he dance mit her, doo.

Case. Does he really dance?

Weber. Dance? You ought to see dat feller do de Induction Coil.

(Song.)

Enter Nutt, excitedly.

Nutt (out of breath). Oh, goodness me, I’ve had a terrible experience. Oh, my!

Hans. Vot’s der madder? You bane scared?

Nutt. Scared? Oh, gracious, I’m frightened most to death. I was walking down the street with Miss Gotrox, when who did I see coming toward us but my sweetheart. Oh, my!

Ruff. (doubtfully). A girl in love with you? (To Weber, aside.) What must she think of him?

Weber. Nothing; she thinks for him.

Nutt. Why, I’ve got the sweetest, dearest, prettiest girl in the world.

Case. What does she look like?

Nutt. Look like? She’s a perfect creation. (With sentiment.) The Great Creator formed all other women first so that He’d have the thing down to perfection when He came to her. From the dark stillness of the forest He took her eyes, hiding in each the twinkle of a star. From the gloomy wings of the raven He took her hair, and the beautiful tint of her cheek He took from the wild-flowers. Her teeth He took from the white snows of winter, and her lips are like the roses of the east that the west never saw. Her swiftness and grace He took from the antelope. Nobility from the eagle, and gentleness He took from the dove. Her smile He took from the sunrise. That is why her smile brings light and joy into my gloomy heart.

Weber. Dat’s jes’ de way He made my gal, but jes’ as He war finishin’ de job He drap her into de ink pot.

Nutt (screaming). Oh, how ridiculous. I’ll not stay another minute in your company.

[Exit, D. C., haughtily.

Case. He sure is smart all right.

Ruff. Smart? Why, dat’s hisn interleck. He’s more interleck den brains, en if he keeps on he’s goin’ ter be all interleck.

Weber. Say, I’se been tryin’ ter learn de alphabet. What comes after “G”?

Ruff. Whiz.

Hans (tapping bell; enter Hop). Here, boy, here’s some good instructions on “How to run a hotel.” Please see that they are carried out.

(Hop places them carefully in the waste-basket and carries all out D. C.)

Case. Landlord, I have here a note for $5,000; will you endorse it?

Hans. Endorse it?

Case. Yes, sign your name on the back of it?

Hans. Sure I vill. I know you’ll never pay it, so here’s vere ve haf a laugh at der bank’s expense. (Signs paper.)

Ruff. See here, nigger, dat travelin’ salesman’s job looks like an uplift to me.

Weber. Looks more like a hold-up.

Case (turning away from desk). Landlord, I saw, as I was coming into the hotel, what must have been a fine vegetable garden alongside of the hotel. Were you successful with it?

Hans. Successful? Yah, I bane tink so. My neighbor’s hens dook first prize at der boultry show.

Case. Well, that’s a trick of the trade.

Ruff. (pointing to Hans). His trade is full of tricks.

Hans. Iss dot so? For vy you say dot?

Ruff. Aw, don’t I know all about de tricks of your trade? Do you think I’ve been living in hotels all my life for nothing?

Weber. I wouldn’t doubt it.

Hop (entering R. 1 E.). Sir, the cook wants to know if he should cook your Welsh rarebit?

Hans. Might he could.

[Exit Hop.

Gretch (going after boy). Here, vait. I bane tink I vant der left hind foot of dot rabbit.

[Exit after Hop.

Case. That boy of yours is surely smart.

Hans. You bane tink so? I bane teach him everyting I know, und he’s still an ignorant fool.

(Song. After song Tony, reading paper, begins to cry.)

Ruff. Every time he hears me sing, he starts crying.

Weber. He ought to put cotton in his ears.

Hans. Vot’s der madder mit you? For vy you make me dose tears in der face?

Tony. Meester (sobbing)—Meester (sobbing) Rockefeller, hee’s dead.

Ruff. What’s dat got to do wif you? You ain’t any relation to him.

Tony. Dat’s-a make-a me cry. (Sobs.)

Case. Aw, say, are you all going to be pessimists? Wake up your optimism, why don’t you? Don’t you know that an optimist doesn’t care what happens?

Weber. So long as hit don’t happen to him.

Ruff. Say, that statement was pretty smooth, Mr. Case.

Case. Well, you have to be smooth to get on top these days.

Hans. Und you get smooth on top getting there.

Weber. If yo’ don’t put a check to dat interleck of yours, Mr. Landlord, you’ll be gettin’ concussion ob de brain.

Tony. ’At’s-a mean dat concussion you?

Ruff. Well, you see——

Weber (to Ruff.). Say, does you know anything ’bout de symptoms of concussion ob de brain?

Ruff. Why—er—yes.

Weber. Well, if me en Mr. Case war ter bang our heads together, would we git concussion ob de brain?

Ruff. (looking from one to the other). Mr. Case might.

Weber (insulted). You’re not very much of a Christian.

Ruff. Why?

Weber. Well, ’cause you fabricates.

Ruff. Me tell lies? Nothing. I’d ruther be er Christian den to lie or be a heathen.

Case. Why would you sooner be a Christian than a heathen?

Ruff. ’Cause—over the Christian the Great Lord watches.

Weber. Yeh?—Is dat so?—Well, over de heathen Ingersol watches.

Case. But Weber, you don’t understand that a Christian has a reward an’ a crown of glory.

Weber. Is dat so? How big is de reward?

Case. Well, that depends on how good a feller has been.

Weber. Den who does yo’ s’pose is gwine ter git de biggest crown?

Ruff. Him what’s got de biggest head.

Hop (entering L. 1 E.). Sir, a gentleman just walked out and refused to pay his lunch check.

Hans. For vy?

Hop. Well, he ordered three eggs from the waiter and wanted them four minutes boiled.

Hans. Den vot?

Hop. There was only one egg in the house, and the cook boiled it twelve minutes.

Hans. Dot shows der value of higher edumacation.

[Exit Hop.

Case. That customer didn’t display very much gratitude.

Weber. Gratitude? What’s dat?

Ruff. You don’t know what gratitude is?

Weber. Nope.

Hans. Vy, even a cow has gratitude.

Weber. Den I don’t want it.

Ruff. Well, listen. I’ll explain just what gratitude is. You remember when we was coming erlong de road in my limousine?

Weber (amused). Yep.

Ruff. You remember one day when we stopped for lunch, we heard a moaning longside of de road? ’Member dat I found a covered basket in de bushes, and on opening it there lay a real live pickaninny?

Weber. Yep, a sho’ nuf black one.

Ruff. Yes. Well, remember that it was very cold that day, and I took off my great fur-lined coat and lifting the little pickaninny out of the basket laid it into the warm folds of my coat and covered it over. Then when he got quite warm and comfortable, in the deepest sense of gratitude the little feller looked up at me and said——

Weber. Papa.

CURTAIN

By Julian Sturgis

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CONTENTS

• Apples. One male, one female.
• Fire Flies. One male, one female.
• Heather. One male, one female.
• Picking up the Pieces. One male, one female.
• Half-Way to Arcady. One male, one female.
• Mabel’s Holy Day. Two males, one female.

Twenty minutes each.

Price, 25 cents

IN OFFICE HOURS

And Other Sketches

By Evelyn Greenleaf Sutherland

CONTENTS

• In Office Hours. Comedy Sketch in One Act, five males, four females.
• A Quilting Party in the Thirties. Outline Sketch for Music, six males, four females, and chorus.
• In Aunt Chloe’s Cabin. Negro Comedy Sketch in One Act, seventeen female characters and “supers.”
• The Story of a Famous Wedding. Outline Sketch for Music and Dancing, six males, four females.

Price, 25 cents

THE SOUP TUREEN

And Other Duologues

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• The Soup Tureen. One male, two females.
• Lelia. One male, one female.
• The Unlucky Star. Two males.
• The Serenade. Two females.

Play twenty minutes each.

Price, 25 cents

HOLIDAY DIALOGUES FROM DICKENS

Arranged by W. E. Fette

Comprising selections from “The Christmas Carol,” “The Cricket on the Hearth,” “The Battle of Life,” etc., arranged in a series of scenes to be given either singly or together, as an extended entertainment. For the celebration of Christmas no better material can be found.

Price, 25 cents

THE SUFFRAGETTES’ CONVENTION

An Entertainment in One Scene

By Jessie A. Kelley

One male, twelve females. Costumes, modern and eccentric; scenery, unimportant. Plays an hour and a quarter. Another of Mrs. Kelley’s popular assemblages of the floating humor of the Suffragette question. Just a string of humorous lines and characters and local hits aimed to raise a hearty laugh without hurting anybody’s feelings. Suited for women’s clubs and for general use in private theatricals.

Price, 25 cents

CHARACTERS

• Mrs. John Yates, presiding officer.
• Mrs. Silas Curtis, suffragette speaker.
• Mrs. Eben Altman, suffragette speaker.
• Mrs. Eldon Keener, anti-suffragette.
• Mrs. Oscar Dayton, anti-suffragette.
• Mrs. Jonas Harding, anti-suffragette.
• Miss Rosabelle Hyacinth, engaged.
• Miss Priscilla Prudence, would like to be engaged.
• Miss Anna Helder, great on style.
• Mrs. Charles Bates, anti-suffragette.
• Mrs. Russell Sager, suffragette.
• Mrs. Francis Wood, suffragette.
• Silas Curtis, who becomes an ardent advocate of woman suffrage.

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS

A High School Comedy in One Act

By Gladys Ruth Bridgham

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A Farce Comedy in Three Acts

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WILLOWDALE

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THE VILLAGE SCHOOL MA’AM

A Play in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Six males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenes, an interior and an exterior, or can be played in two interiors. Plays two hours or more. Combines a strong sympathetic interest with an abundance of comedy. The parts are unusually equal in opportunity, are vigorously drawn and easily actable. No dialect parts, but plenty of variety in the comedy roles and lots of amusing incident. Can be strongly recommended.

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DOWN IN MAINE

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Price, 25 cents

HIGBEE OF HARVARD

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Price, 15 cents

HOW JIM MADE GOOD

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts by Charles S. Bird. Seven males, three females; two male parts can be doubled. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays two hours. An unusually sympathetic play, well suited to amateurs. Clean and easy to get up. Recommended to high schools. All the parts are good.

Price, 25 cents

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A Collection of Entertainments for Church or Lodge Performance, Adapted to any Sect or Community

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• Samantha Snodgrass and the Ladies’ Aid. 10 females.
• The Annual Picnic of the Muggsville Sunday-School. 16 males, 24 females.
• Beresford Benevolent Society. 1 male, 7 females.
• The Emigrants’ Party. 24 males, 10 females.
• The Last of the Peak Sisters. 9 males, 7 females.
• The Rag Doll Party. 4 males, 10 females.
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SHORT PLAYS FOR SMALL PLAYERS

A Collection of Entertainments for Children of All Ages

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• The Key. 16 boys, 17 girls.
• The Children’s Hour. 7 boys, 12 girls.
• School Opera. 5 boys, 3 girls.
• Jack and the Beanstalk. 3 boys, 3 girls.
• Bouquet of Rose Spirits. 8 boys, 18 girls.
• Pat’s Excuse. 1 boy, 1 girl.
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• A Temperance Frolic. 3 boys, 2 girls, and chorus.

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For Female Characters

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• A Corner in Strait-Jackets. 8 ladies and 3 children.
• The Dairy-Maids’ Festival. Any number of young ladies.
• A Daughter-In-Law. 4 ladies.
• Eliza’s Bona-Fide Offer. 4 ladies.
• Gaffer Grey’s Legacy. 8 ladies.
• The Governess. 3 ladies.
• The Grecian Bend. 7 ladies.
• A Sad Mistake. 6 ladies and chorus.
• Slighted Treasures. 4 ladies.
• To Meet Mr. Thompson. 8 ladies.

THE VILLAGE POST-OFFICE

An Entertainment in One Scene by Jessie A. Kelley. Twenty-two males and twenty females are called for, but one person may take several parts and some characters may be omitted. The stage is arranged as a country store and post-office in one. Costumes are rural and funny. Plays a full evening. Full of “good lines” and comical incident and character. Strongly recommended for church entertainments or general use; very wholesome and clean.

Price, 25 cents

MISS FEARLESS & CO.

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Price, 25 cents

LUCIA’S LOVER

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Price, 25 cents

A GIRL IN A THOUSAND

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Price, 25 cents

MRS. BRIGGS OF THE POULTRY YARD

A Comedy in Three Acts by Evelyn Gray Whiting. Four males, seven females. Scene, an interior; costumes, modern. A domestic comedy looking steadfastly at the “bright side” of human affairs. Mrs. Briggs is an admirable part, full of original humor and quaint sayings, and all the characters are full of opportunity. Simply but effectively constructed, and written with great humor. Plays two hours.

Price, 25 cents

TOMMY’S WIFE

A Farce in Three Acts by Marie J. Warren. Three males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays an hour and a half. Originally produced by students of Wellesley College. A very original and entertaining play, distinguished by abundant humor. An unusually clever piece, strongly recommended.

Price, 25 cents

A FOUL TIP

A Comedy Drama in Three Acts

By Charles S. Allen

Seven males, three females. Costumes, modern; scenery, one exterior scene, not changed. Plays two hours. The safe at Irving’s factory is robbed and three persons are under suspicion, which finally settles most strongly on Verne Gale, the hero, who, to protect Hal Irving, old Irving’s son, whom his sister Nellie loves and whom he believes to be the real culprit, keeps his mouth shut save for protesting his own innocence. “Uncle” Tim Purdy is loyal to him and, with the aid of Pete Adams, the colored pitcher of the Westvale nine, finally discovers the real culprit. A strong play with unusual strength and variety of character and abundance of humorous lines and incidents. Very highly recommended.

Price, 25 cents

CHARACTERS

• Tim Purdy, postmaster, chief of police and storekeeper at Westvale.
• Hiram Rowell, the village expressman.
• Oliver Irving, manufacturer.
• Harold Irving, his son.
• Verne Gale, manager of the Westvale nine.
• Pollard, Irving’s bookkeeper.
• Pete Adams, colored pitcher on the Westvale nine.
• Almira Purdy, Tim’s wife.
• Mabel Remington, Irving’s stenographer.
• Nellie Gale, Verne’s sister.

• Members of the ball team, villagers, etc.

DADDY

A Comedy in Three Acts

By Lilli Huger Smith

Four males, four females. Costumes, modern; two easy interiors. Plays an hour and a half. Mr. Brown exhausts all the resources of science, including smallpox and diphtheria signs, in an endeavor to keep away the admirers of his daughter whom he wishes to keep at home. He finally asks Dr. Chester, who is privately in love with her, to help him to dissuade her from becoming a trained nurse. The doctor does so by marrying her himself. Very clever and amusing; full of wit and of high tone. Strongly recommended.

Price, 25 cents

CHARACTERS

• Mr. Wrexson Brown, just like his fellow men.
• Teddy Brown, his son, pursuing football at college.
• Paul Chester, a young doctor.
• Thompson, the Browns’ butler.
• Mrs. Wrexson Brown, just like her fellow women.
• Nellie Brown, her daughter, a débutante.
• Mrs. Chester, Mr. Brown’s sister, pursuing ill-health at home.
• Jane, the Browns’ cook.

A NEW START

A Comedy in Four Acts

By C. A. Pellanus

Seven males, two females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays an hour and a half. A very funny play intended for performance by boys or young men.

CHARACTERS

• Mr. W. Wrightup, alias
• Dr. Phil Graves, R.S.V.P., P.T.O. } a medical student.
• Michael Spowder, his servant, from Tipperary.
• Colonel Ailment, a patient.
• Miss O’Phee, a patient.
• Thomas Wrotter, an ambitious youth.
• Mrs. Langwidge, his aunt, of British origin.
• Mr. Percy Veering, an attorney.
• A Laboring Man.

Price, 15 cents

TOO CLEVER BY HALF

A Comedy in Three Acts

By C. A. Pellanus

Six males, two females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays an hour and a quarter. Very lively and funny; intended for performance by boys or young men.

CHARACTERS

• Judge Simeon Adams, a well-to-do, kindly, pompous old bachelor.
• Miss Burgess, his housekeeper. With matrimonial schemes.
• Nathan Dean, the village constable. Fat-witted, and gullible.
• Howard Foster, a Pinkerton detective. Too clever by half.
• Monsieur Gaspard, a Chef d’ Orchestre.
• B. Flat musicians. Britishers.
• A. Sharp }
• Mrs. Wordy, landlady of the village inn.

Price, 15 cents

THE FIRST DAY OF THE HOLIDAYS

A Comedy in Four Acts

By C. A. Pellanus

Six male characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays an hour and a half. An exceptionally brisk and humorous piece intended for male characters only.

CHARACTERS

• Prof. B. Willdard, a naturalist. A short-sighted old man.
• Job Shirker, a shoemaker. Envious of other men’s success.
• Joseph Shirker, his son. A tramp.
• Henry Copper, a police officer and a duffer, born in England.
• Tom Bounder schoolboys. Impertinent and full of high spirits.
• Jim Bounder }

Price, 15 cents

A REGIMENT OF TWO

A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts by Anthony E. Wills. Six males, four females. Modern costumes. Scene, an interior, the same for all three acts. Plays a full evening. A lively, up to-date farce, easy to produce and full of laughs from beginning to end. All the parts good—no small ones. German comedy characters for both male and female, and “wild west” character part and English character comedy. Strongly recommended.

Price, 25 cents

MISS BUZBY’S BOARDERS

A Comedy in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Five male, six female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, two easy interiors. Plays two hours. In a lighter vein than this writer’s other pieces, but just as strong, and offers plenty of comedy. All the parts good; four call for strong acting. Several good character parts and effective heavy character. Dialogue especially good. A sure hit.

Price, 25 cents

VALLEY FARM

A Drama in Four Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Six males, six females. Scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Costumes, modern. An admirable play for amateurs, very sympathetic in theme, and with lots of good parts. Hetty is a strong lead, and Perry Deane and Silas great parts; while Azariah, Lizy Ann Tucker and Verbena are full of fun. Plays a full evening.

Price, 25 cents

THE MISSING MISS MILLER

A Comedy in Three Acts by Harold A. Clarke. Six males, five females. Scenery, two interiors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. A bright and up-to-date farce comedy of the liveliest type. All the parts good; full of opportunity for all hands. Easy to produce and strongly recommended. Good tone; might answer for schools, but is a sure hit for amateur theatricals. Professional stage rights reserved.

Price, 25 cents

OUT OF TOWN

A Comedy in Three Acts by Bell Elliot Palmer. Three males, five females. Scene, an interior, the same for all three acts; costumes, modern. Plays an hour and a half. A clever and interesting comedy, very easy to produce and recommended for amateur performance. All the parts good. A safe piece for a fastidious audience, as its theme and treatment are alike beyond reproach.

Price, 25 cents

GADSBY’S GIRLS

A Farce in Three Acts by Bertha Currier Porter. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern; scenery, an exterior and an interior. Plays an hour and a half. An exceptionally bright and vivacious little piece, full of action. Gadsby’s adventures with the fiancées of three of his friends are full of interest and fun. All the parts good. Well suited for high school performance.

Price, 25 cents

S. J. PARKHILL & CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON, U.S.A.