Mrs. Kennedy got up from her knees, wrung out the filthy and dripping
cloth in her hands, and looked back with a sigh over the stairs she had
just cleaned.
"It’ll have to do," she said, "until to-morrow."
Then, pail in hand, she descended to the basement and pushed open with
her foot the door of her flat—three black little rooms with barred
windows on a lugubrious air-shaft, where great ash-cans stood and cats
prowled and tradesmen went whistling by with bags and bottles. A tiny
jet of gas flickered in the passage to light her as she staggered along
to the kitchen, there to set down the heavy pail with a jerk that sent a
flood of dirty water over her feet.
"Oh, Lord!" she sighed again, patiently.
She lit the gas and looked about her. There in the sink were the dishes
from breakfast; and across the tin covers of the wash-tubs scurried a
multitude of roaches, disturbed as they feasted on the crumbs there. All
this deeply disturbed her, for she was a good housewife, and a neat
little body altogether; but she knew herself to be blameless. It
couldn’t be helped.
As janitress of this Harlem apartment-house, she was permitted to live
rent free in exchange for certain services, and her honour was engaged.
She had to keep up the appearance of the place. She had to scrub the
stairs, the corridors, the vestibule, to clean the windows on the five
landings. She had also to sweep the vacant flats and display them to any
one who came to look at them.
After this was done, there was still her living to make. She did
"charing" by the day and half-day; she took home washing to be done at
night; she did all those dirty and unpleasant tasks which even the
shabby tenants of this shabby house couldn’t endure to do for
themselves. There were many days when she left her dismal little place
early in the morning and wasn’t able to re-enter it until after dark. It
gave her a feeling of terrible discouragement to come home to it like
this, all in disorder and sordid confusion. The thought of it would
haunt her all day as she worked.
It was late, as she saw by the clock, but she felt obliged to rest, just
for a minute. She sat down and closed her eyes. She couldn’t really rest
until fatigue was gone and she was refreshed; the best she might expect
was some little respite from her labour.
She was a thin little woman of limitless endurance; she could suffer
everything; but her drawn, hollow-cheeked face, her faded eyes, gave
testimony to the cost of her dreadful and heroic struggle. She was
forty, but she looked sixty. She had a blurred look, like a partially
erased drawing. She seemed literally worn out, rubbed thin, part of her
vanished.
The clock struck six, and she jumped up.
"Oh, Lord!" she sighed again. "Well, I’ll make myself a cup of tea first
thing; then I’ll run out to the corner and get a bite of something for
Angelica’s supper."
The tea did her good. She felt warmed and comforted, and a little less
reluctant to undertake more work. Then, with a shawl over her head, she
hurried out into the windy March street, to the little grocer’s on the
corner.
It was a sore temptation to linger there, where it was warm and brightly
lighted, and there were people to talk with, and the young man was so
agreeable to her. She was a favourite of his, in spite of her buying so
little, for she was a civil little woman who gave no trouble and always
had her mind made up before coming into the shop. But, with her usual
little sigh, she tore herself away, bade the young man good night, and
hurried home again.
To her eyes even Eighth Avenue, with the tawdry little shops crowded
with the very poor, or the very careless, buying their dinners at the
last instant, looked festive, looked enticing. She didn’t get out much;
she hadn’t even a window through which she could see the street. She
thought to herself that it would be nice to take a walk after supper
with Angelica, to look in the windows to see what the fruit-seller had
to offer, to view the absorbing display in the five-and-ten-cent store;
but she was quite sure that Angelica couldn’t be induced to do any such
thing. She required something better than that!
It was the spur of Angelica’s requirements that drove forward the weary
Mrs. Kennedy. If she didn’t have things nice, Angelica would rearrange
and do over until she was suited. She didn’t complain much, but wasn’t
she exacting! Like a man, her mother used to say. She’d never be
satisfied with a cup of tea and some little thing you’d maybe have left
from the day before. Plenty of variety there must be, and a clean cloth,
too.
She was brisk and deft about her preparations when she got home; but she
wasn’t quite prepared when the bell rang three times, by way of
announcement only, as the door was always unlatched, and into the
kitchen came her daughter Angelica—her only child.
Angelica was not regarded by her peers as beautiful, for the quality of
her beauty was not obvious. She was looked at, stared at, fiercely
desired; she was often enough followed in the street; and yet not one of
these admirers would have called her beautiful. There was "something
about her," that was all—something not to be resisted. She herself was
only dimly aware of it. She knew well enough that she was alluring,
that she possessed some enchantment to enthrall men. She knew by some
instinct how to use her charm, but she didn’t comprehend it or
appreciate it. She regarded herself with a pleased and wondering
interest. A pale, narrow face with strange black eyes, not quite alike;
a rich, scornfully curling mouth; the mysterious, adorable languor of an
old Italian Madonna—an exciting languor, like that of a drowsy panther;
and with this curious and touching beauty went a swaggering impudence,
the speech, the gestures of a thorough gamine. Then there was her walk,
the exaggerated suppleness of her thin young body, the rakish tilt of
her broad-brimmed hat, the movement of her skirts, and a naïve
wickedness that seemed shocking, almost blasphemous, in conjunction with
that wonderful face.
And it was this air of bravado, this gamine swagger, which she fancied
was her charm. The poetry of her, the exquisite subtleness of her face,
she didn’t recognize. Her mother alone had some inexpressible and
formless idea of this. She saw something rare and heart-breaking in her
child, something that robbed her of any pretense of authority.
"Tired?" she asked her now.
"No!" said Angelica scornfully. "Bacon? That’s nice. Have it good and
crisp, mommer. No, I’m not tired—only sort of sick of things."
She sat down before the table and waited, her chin on her hand, somber,
frowning, in a mood which her mother knew well and dreaded. She put the
plates on the table and stood, waiting, too nervous to eat. She could
see that Angelica had something on her mind, and there would be no peace
till she had got rid of it.
"Hurry up and eat, mommer," she said impatiently; "so we can go to the
movies after."
"I haven’t any money, deary."
"I’ll pay."
Her mother was startled. How could Angelica have money to spare on a
Thursday?
"I got paid off," said Angelica.
"Discharged, Angie? I thought you were doing so well——”
"Discharged nothing! I quit."
"But what in the world—— It was a good job, wasn’t it? You said it
was."
A sudden and vivid expression of disgust lit up her child’s face.
"My Gawd, mommer! I got so sick of it! Sitting at that machine, all
day and every day. Those girls—and the fellers! So blame sick of it,
mommer! I don’t know—I got thinking. It seems to me maybe I could do
better somewhere else."
"They’re all about the same, I guess—those factories. I can’t see what
good it’ll do you to be changing so often, Angelica. The girls are all
the same; unless maybe you could get into one of the big stores, and
they don’t pay near as much."
"What’s the good of that? Just as bad. No, mommer, I want—something
different. Oh, mommer, I want to get something out of life!"
Her mother looked at her in silence. She comprehended her perfectly.
Hadn’t she been like that herself long, long ago—restless, hungry for
life, forever seeking something new? Not, of course, in this foreign and
vehement way. She had never been capable of speaking so crudely, so
violently, as her child; but though they hadn’t a feature, a gesture, an
intonation alike, they partook of the same indomitable spirit.
"I know!" she said. "It’s hard—terrible hard; but it’s only worse if
you’re always fighting against it. There’s no chance for people like us,
and we’ve got to put up with it. We can’t get what we want. Whatever
kind of work you choose, it’ll be just as hard."
Angelica, her head in her hands, was looking straight before her.
"I don’t see," she began, "why I shouldn’t try, anyway, to go up
instead of down."
"There’s no call to go down," said her mother; "but you’ll find it hard
enough just to keep the same. You’ve got to be—well, Angelica, as my
mother used to say she’d been taught in the old country—you’ve got to
be contented to stay in the station where it has pleased God to put
you."
"God made a mistake, then. He’s put me in the wrong station, and I won’t
stay in it. And anyway, mommer, haven’t you ever thought? We’re not
staying—we’re going down, down, all the time. You’re not where your
mother was, and I’m not where you used to be."
"You’ve got more brains than me, and——”
"I’m not talking about brains. You’re better than me; you talk better,
and you’ve got nicer ways. You’re——” She flushed a little. "You’re
more like a—lady than me."
Mrs. Kennedy flushed, too, but couldn’t deny it. She had before her
mind’s eye the descent of her family—how she had sunk below her
parents’ level, just as Angelica had grown up coarser and more ignorant
than herself. Unaccountably there came to her the memory of another
afternoon when she had been scrubbing stairs, like to-day, but in the
home of her girlhood; a summer afternoon, long, long ago. She remembered
that she had complained of being tired out, and her mother had bidden
her go up-stairs and lie down. And she remembered—how well!—stretching
herself out on the bed in the neat, darkened room, and her stout, kindly
mother bringing her up a cup of tea.
Her thoughts lingered with her mother, a sober Scotch-woman, living out
her life in the shelter of her own home. A nice home, too; a little
frame house in Brooklyn, comfortably furnished, modest, but not without
dignity. The suppers there, her mother, her sandy-haired, anxious little
father—assistant to a grocer—and herself, sitting at the little round
table covered with a red checked cloth, with the bland light of the lamp
on their faces—she saw it painfully, bitterly well; and her father
asking who was that young chap who had walked home from the chapel with
her, and her mother pretending to frown. They were so proud and pleased
with her prettiness and briskness, so hopeful for her!
For just a moment she passionately resented her rôle of parent, forever
giving and giving. She wanted to have one person on earth concerned with
her fatigue, her sorrow. She sat quite still before her little
supper, lost in her thought. Then some slight movement of her child’s
brought her back to life, and she looked up with her little sigh.
Poor, poor Angelica! Poor lovely, unhappy thing, working in a factory!
Wouldn’t that have shocked her grandparents? Wouldn’t they have been
shocked at Angelica, anyway—her swagger, her language, her point of
view! Her heart melted with pity for her child.
"I don’t blame you, Angelica," she said. "I know how hard it is to get
on with that sort; but, deary, what better can you do? One job’s as bad
as another. The thing is to do your best and trust in Providence. I’ll
do the best I can to make things happy for you here at home. We’ll have
our little treats. We’ve always been happy together, haven’t we? It’s
our lot in life to have to work hard and get very little. We’ve got to
put up with it, and just be as happy as we can."
"No, I’m not like that. I’m—no, I won’t!"
She wasn’t able to express her rebellion, her vehement longings, but her
mother understood her very well.
"I was just like you," she said mournfully; "restless—always after
something new—anything for a change. I wanted—the Lord knows what I
wanted!"
She poured out another cup of tea.
"Eat a bit more," she said. "You’re tired and worked up like. Yes!" she
added. "I was like you, Angelica; and you can see what it did for me. I
was a nice-looking girl in those days. There was more than one young
fellow who wanted to marry me; but I wouldn’t have any of them. I
thought they weren’t good enough. I was a great one for reading books,
and my head was full of nonsense.
"Then I met your father. He was a fine-looking man, Angelica. You can’t
remember him when he was well. He was a big, handsome man, a barber. My
folks were terrible set against it, and I don’t wonder. There he was, an
I-talian, and twenty years older than me, and nothing in the world but a
barber, and a kind of a Socialist. He was always talking about killing
the rich people. I think he’d have been willing enough to do something
like that with his own hands, he used to get so worked up. He was a
queer man, Angelica. And yet, for all his talk about killing, and the
awful things he’d say against religion and churches, why, he wasn’t a
bad man. He was generous. He’d share his last penny with a friend. He
often did; we’d have to go without ourselves if one of his precious
‘comrades’ was in a tight corner. He was a smart man, too. He spent all
his spare time in the free library, reading; but that never gets you
anywhere, Angelica. He had no knack for earning money, and he never
could save. What’s more, he wasn’t fond of work. He’d rather read or
talk. He could talk all night, I do believe.
"It nearly broke my mother’s heart when I went off with Angelo. My
father, he said he’d never speak to me again, nor have my name spoken in
the house, on account of my marrying an atheist, you see. But I didn’t
seem to care. There was something about him——”
She was silent for a time, recalling her startling foreign lover, with
his caressing voice, his mandolin-playing, his anti-clerical passions,
and the brisk, pretty young girl who had been herself.
"I was terrible headstrong. I wouldn’t listen to any one. I would have
him, and I did. Well, I was punished for my folly and wickedness, I can
tell you. It’s always the way when you won’t listen to your own dear
parents and those that are wiser than yourself. We never got on. From
the very day we were married—you don’t know what it’s like, Angelica.
We were always owing money. He wouldn’t hand what he made over to me,
for me to manage. I never knew where we stood. All of a sudden he’d say,
‘No more money!’ and there we’d be, without a penny. We had to live in
such a mean, poor way that I lost my health. One time we were turned out
of our rooms, out into the street, bag and baggage, with all the
neighbors looking on.
"When you were born, I’d hardly so much as a blanket to wrap you in. I
never had a bow of ribbon or a thing to dress you up pretty, like the
other little babies. And when your father took sick, there wasn’t even a
fresh sheet for him. ‘Take him off to the hospital,’ says the doctor.
‘He can’t be looked after in a place like this. He’ll die.’ ‘Very good,
I die!’ says he. ‘But I die home!’ Poor man! There he lay, so hot and
wretched, and you in a clothes-basket beside him fretting all day and
all night, so he couldn’t get any rest and peace. We’d only the one
room.
"Well, when he was taken sick, of course there was no money at all
coming in. His precious ‘comrades’ never came near him, least of all the
ones that owed him money; so I began going out by the day, and I left an
old I-talian woman to take care of you and him. Every morning, when I’d
go out, I’d feel sure and certain neither of you’d be alive and safe
when I got back. Both of you sick, and no good food or proper care! And
I’d think of her setting the place on fire, or leaving the gas turned
on. Then I’d come home, tired as a dog, and not a soul to speak to: you
a tiny little baby crying in your basket, and your poor father moaning
in his bed; everything dirty and upset. You can’t think what it was
like.
"I’m not blaming your poor father, Angelica. I’m only telling you this
to show you how those high-flown notions—where they’ll lead you. In
this world, you’ve got to be sensible, and not follow your own notions."
Not follow romance was what she meant, and what Angelica understood; for
wasn’t that what she had done? And had won it, to see it perish in a
long agony, as romance must always perish, whether won or lost. She
wanted so passionately to make it all clear to her child, to tell her
how she had seen the hard, the dull, the greedy, attain their heart’s
desire; but the romantic, the generous, never. She wanted to tell her
how hideous is the death of illusion, how merciless is the world. How
her splendid hero, black-eyed Angelo with the flashing smile, had fallen
from splendour—had, so to speak, dwindled into a miserable invalid,
duped by his friends, and deprived of all courage by the knowledge of
their treachery. How she had seen her youth go by unnoticed,
unappreciated, in that struggle for bread; of the loneliness and the
frightful indignities of poverty.
"It was a mistake," she said. "The whole thing was a big mistake!"
"I don’t know," said Angelica. "Maybe you wouldn’t have been any happier
with a different man."
"I’d certainly have been happier with enough to eat. If I’d listened to
my parents, I’d taken a sober, hard-working——”
"Bah!" cried Angelica, with the sudden fierceness that always startled
her mother. "You married the man you wanted, didn’t you? He didn’t make
any money, so you were poor. Well, what of it? You’ve—anyway you’ve got
a memory of him, to look back at, haven’t you?"
And her mother hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth—that even in
memory the ardent, enchanting lover was supplanted by the querulous and
unshaven sufferer who lay dying for months and months of some disease
which they didn’t understand, and which the busy doctor didn’t trouble
to explain to them.
"I hope you’ll be sensible, Angelica," she said.
She saw well enough that her story had made no sort of impression upon
her child. Angelica was still so young that what happened to other
people and what happened to her had no connection in her mind. She
fancied that all her experiences, as well as all her ideas, were unique.
Her mother could read in her face that she was thinking now, not of her
mother’s past, but of her own future.
"I hope you’ll be sensible," she said again. "Try to learn to be
satisfied with your lot in life. That’s how all my troubles began—being
discontented. Try to be satisfied."
"No, I shan’t," said her rebellious child. "Listen, mommer!"
"Well?"
"I was thinking. I don’t know—but I thought—maybe there’s something in
this."
She handed her mother a scrap torn from a newspaper.
CHEERFUL young lady wanted as companion for invalid; experience
unnecessary. Apply Thursday morning to Mrs. Russell, Buena Vista,
Baycliff, Westchester.
"But, deary, don’t you see?" cried her mother, startled. "You don’t mean
that you’d try for that?"
"Why not, mother?" demanded Angelica, flushing.
"But, deary, don’t you see? It’s—they’ll—they wouldn’t want a girl
like you."
"Why not?" she asked again, still more fiercely.
But her mother wouldn’t say it. Anyway, she knew that Angelica
understood her meaning perfectly.
"A waste of carfare," she said. "All that money—there’s no sense at all
in your going. There’ll be dozens after the place—girls that—that’ll
suit better."
Her object was to spare her child the humiliation she foresaw for her—a
factory girl, a bold-eyed, ignorant young thing in the cheapest sort of
clothes, offering herself to a lady as a companion! Herself brought up
in a quite different way, accustomed to recognizing, without snobbery
and without resentment, that there were in the world groups of people
better and groups worse than her own sort, she could not comprehend
Angelica’s attitude. Angelica envied without admiring. In fact, she
despised "rich people" almost as much as her father had, but her
ambition in life was to be one of them.
"I’ll risk the carfare," she said. "I’m going to try, anyway. You know,
mommer, maybe they’re sick of those silly little
dolls—‘ladies’—especially if it’s an invalid. They said ‘cheerful,’
you know."
"All ladies aren’t silly dolls," said Mrs. Kennedy, displeased. "And I
don’t know as you’re so cheerful, Angelica."
"I could be, if I wanted. Anyway, I’m going to try. I’ll just take the
fare. I’ll give you all the rest, mommer."
She took out a shabby little purse, counted her money, put some back,
and laid the rest on the tub tops. Such a pitiful sum! It hurt her
mother.
"It’s all yours," she said. "You’ve worked for it. Do as you please. If
you really want to go—— I’m sure I hope you’ll get the place."
After a moment she added:
"I hope you know, Angie, that I want you to have the best—the very best
there is. I think you deserve it. Only, deary, I don’t want you to be
disappointed; and I don’t see how you can help being. I want you to
know, deary, that I’m——”
She couldn’t think of a word. She stood anxiously frowning, looking at
the ground for a minute.
"I’m always—on your side," she ended.
Angelica sprang up from the table and seized her mother in a fierce
embrace.
"Mamma mia!" she whispered, as her father had taught her, long ago.
Her mother was curiously thrilled and touched. She looked up with
brimming eyes at the dark and foreign face bending above her.
"What’s that he used to say—feeliar, or something?" she murmured,
embarrassed. "You’re a good girl, Angelica. I hope you’ll be lucky!"
In spite of an air of complete self-assurance, Angelica was very nervous
the next morning. She lingered over her breakfast with a sort of languor
well-known to her mother, for wasn’t that, hadn’t that always been, her
air of desperation and defiance? She saw that Angelica had no idea of
changing her mind, and also that, upon thinking it over, she had
realized to some extent how daring was her project, and was frightened.
Mrs. Kennedy had to put in a day washing for one of the tenants, and was
in a hurry. She stooped over the table to print on a piece of
wrapping-paper the usual note to be pinned on her door:
JANITRESS WILL BE FOUND IN APT. 12
Then, straightening up, she looked anxiously at her child.
"Well, deary! If you’ve made up your mind—good luck to you!"
Angelica smiled faintly. When the door had closed after her mother, she
rose herself and went into the black little bedroom, where a small jet
of gas showed her a shadowy face in a broken mirror. She put on her hat,
very carefully, and her jacket, but lingered still; until ringing across
the cement floor of the cellar came a heavy and familiar step—Oscar,
the furnace man, going out for his morning beer. That meant nine
o’clock; she had to go!
Once in the street, her self-confidence returned. She was always best in
a crowd, in any position where she had to fight her way. The glances
that followed her warmed her heart, assured her of her alluring and
devilish charm. She liked it all—liked to turn with terrible scorn upon
any one who ventured to jostle her, liked to disconcert with a long,
insolent stare any man who might presume to look too long at her.
She was a child of the streets; she loved them as an Arab loves the
desert, or a sailor the sea. She had been brought up in the streets.
There, in rough games, she had learned to hold her own; there, running
the gauntlet of a mob of jeering boys, she had learned to endure
valiantly, without longing for sympathy. Her mother had always tried her
best to keep the child off the streets, but could not. On her way home
from school, whenever she was sent on an errand, Angelica would seize
the chance to linger in that violent and exciting life. And then, later,
when she was a young girl, came those curious sidewalk flirtations, so
hostile in mood, so brutally chaste. She wouldn’t stand any nonsense!
After all, her life within the house with her mother was nothing, only
interludes of rest in her vehement existence. It was out there, in the
streets, that she had become Angelica.
She had never yet traveled by railway, though she had often enough gone
to the Grand Central Terminal with girl friends and pretended, rather
pitifully, to be going on a journey. They would stand near the gateway
of a train, and say good-by, and perhaps walk forward a few steps with
the crowd. She was tremendously proud really to be going off now.
In the tunnel she took the opportunity to study her reflection in the
darkened window, and it pleased and encouraged her—the great, shadowy
eyes, the pallor of her face, the big hat framing it. It seemed to her
that she looked romantic, and not at all what she was. She began to
imagine that she might hoodwink this Mrs. Russell, that she might pass
muster even among ladies.
She never forgot her first sight of that house, and never afterward did
it really look otherwise to her. In rain, in snow, in summer or winter,
it was always to her as she had first seen it on that breezy spring
morning.
It was a big stone house on a wide, sunny hill, and it had somehow a
festive air, with its striped awnings, the white curtains fluttering at
open windows, and a flag flying on a pole on the summit of the hill. It
put her in mind of a picture she had seen in an old school copy of
"Ivanhoe," of a medieval castle on the day of a tournament.
She was profoundly impressed. The complacency she had felt on the train
melted away, and she began to realize how preposterous her idea was. She
entered the iron gate and began walking up the long gravel path which
led up the hill to the house, a solitary figure, with bare, sunny lawns
on either side of her, behind her the highroad where motor-cars were
spinning past, before her the august, the unknown house. Altogether an
alien world where she felt mean and pitiful in her cheap clothes, her
worn, shapeless boots.
"I look like a factory girl," she reflected bitterly. "Any one would
know. Perhaps they won’t even let me in."
The maid who opened the door was certainly not encouraging. She looked
Angelica up and down.
"I don’t know whether Mrs. Russell ’ll see any more of you," she said.
"Such a crowd all morning! Come in, though."
Angelica followed her into a large hall with a polished floor, where
upon chairs ranged along the wall sat a row of women, beginning in
darkness at the farther end of the hall, and ending in sunshine near the
door, where Angelica took her seat.
She sat for some minutes in a frozen quiet, until her awe of the great
house and the severe servant and the unknown women ebbed away, and her
natural curiosity came flowing back. Then she turned her head a little
and saw them all, the whole row, staring at her. Her spine stiffened
instinctively, and she began a deliberate survey of her rivals.
The first two she couldn’t see, because they sat under the stairs in
utter darkness. Then came a portly old lady with an immense
alligator-skin bag; then a very composed, handsome woman in black. She
got no further, for the servant came hurrying back across the slippery
floor, to let in still another applicant.
Angelica now joined with the others in staring at this new one—a
blonde, superior young person, tightly corseted. She sat down next to
Angelica, and once more the line composed itself to waiting. A quarter
of an hour went by; then the old lady with the alligator bag began
whispering to her neighbor in the dark, and that started a sort of
general conversation in whispers. The information was passed along the
line that "she"—the first one, under the stairs—had been there two
hours.
"I came here before about a month ago," whispered the one before
Angelica. "She advertised, but she changed her mind and sent us all
away."
Angelica was surprised at the timidity of this person who was so
obviously a lady, if a rather faded one. It gave her courage. Being a
lady wasn’t the whole thing, then, after all. She was on the point of
answering, when once more the parlour maid hurried past, to admit an
extraordinary object.
She was a tall, bony woman of perhaps fifty, dressed in a checked coat
and riding-breeches, with a derby hat jammed down over her face and a
confusion of red hair streaming from under it. As she crossed the hall,
the last pin seemed to give way, and it all fell down about her
shoulders. She made a helpless sort of gesture to put it right, found
she couldn’t, and went on, with a long stride. Her face was overshadowed
by her hat, but there were visible a sharp nose and a pointed chin. Her
voice was unexpectedly soft and agreeable.
"Good morning!" she said. "Who’s first?"
The young blonde jumped up.
"I, please!" she said.
They were all struck dumb for a minute; then Angelica said boldly:
"You’re not!"
The lady in breeches turned her head briskly.
"Never mind!" she said pleasantly. "I’ll see you first anyway. You’ll
each have your turn; don’t worry!"
The young woman followed her into a room across the hall, and the door
was closed.
"Well, I never!" cried a voice from the darkness.
It was the woman who had waited two hours. An indignant and subdued
chorus began, which ended only when the blond young lady reappeared,
smiling falsely, and walked past them all to the front door. She had
failure written upon her face; and she knew it, and was very anxious to
be gone. But the front door would not open; she was obliged to stand
there, fumbling with the lock, raked by the eyes of those whom she had
defrauded.
"She didn’t stay long!" observed the old lady. "Well, I didn’t think
she’d suit."
"Of course not!" said another.
"Such tricks never bring any good luck," said the old lady. "After all,
there is such a thing as justice in this world, and no——”
The red-haired lady returned and opened the front door.
"Now then!" she said, beckoning to Angelica.
Angelica shook her head.
"No—I’m the last," she replied.
"It doesn’t matter about the order. Please come in."
So Angelica followed her into a dark little paneled room, where an
orange-shaded lamp glowed from the top of a piano, showing carved
chairs, a soft, dull rug, a harp, and a suit of armour that glistened
from a corner. It seemed an enchanted room, like a scene from a play, or
a dream. Angelica really didn’t worry now about getting the position; it
was worth while having come, just to have got inside of this house and
this room.
The extraordinary lady sat down upon a divan and crossed her long legs.
She had a pencil in her hand, and a little notebook, and she was most
businesslike.
"Your name?" she inquired.
"Angelica Kennedy."
It wasn’t really Angelica’s name; Kennedy was her mother’s name, but
they had both agreed that Donallotti was an impossible and unseemly
patronymic, and might cause them to be taken for foreigners.
"Your age?"
"Nineteen."
Angelica felt terribly at a disadvantage, standing there to be
questioned. She could hear her own voice, rather hoarse, and her vulgar
accent. She was conscious of being ungloved, of being awkward and
despised. She felt herself lost, she was in despair, she longed to run
away and be done with this misery; but the lady went on pleasantly.
"Your address?"
Her heart sank still lower as she saw written down the obscure and
sordid street.
"Could you give me any social references?"
That finished her.
"No!" she said curtly.
"Oh! Can’t you?" said the nice voice, disappointed. "What about
experience, then? What have you done?"
"You said experience was unnecessary."
"Yes, I know; but can’t you give me some sort of idea, you
know—something about yourself?"
Angelica was obstinately silent.
"What made you come? What did you think your qualifications were?" the
other asked, less pleasantly.
"I could be useful," said Angelica sullenly. "I can sew—trim hats—I
worked with a milliner once. Whatever else you wanted I could learn, and
I wouldn’t expect much pay while I was learning."
The lady interrupted her.
"How much would you expect?" she asked, with sudden interest.
"I don’t care. Just enough to help—mother. And I’m real quick to learn.
I could——”
"There isn’t anything to learn, my dear," said the red-haired one. With
an astounding change of manner, she suddenly became confidential and
garrulous. "You see, it’s for my daughter-in-law, Mrs. Geraldine. She
must have some one with her. The doctor says she’s not to be left alone.
She’s been through a dreadful experience. She lost her sweet little baby
six weeks ago. Isn’t that dreadful?"
Angelica agreed briefly that it was.
"Well, I want some one just to be about with her, you know. No work;
it’s really an ideal life. I said to my husband I’d absolutely love to
do it myself, if I had the time. She’s the dearest soul—a little
depressed now, naturally. How much would you expect?"
"What do you want to give?"
"You see, it has to come out of my own pocket. I’m doing it for her, to
make her happy. I’ll pay, but she’ll have the benefit; and of course I’m
not able to—I’ll give you twenty dollars."
"A week?"
"A month."
Angelica was quiet for a moment. It was perfectly apparent to her that
cheapness was her only asset; that if she didn’t come cheap and very
cheap, she wouldn’t be considered. She reflected, and grew more and more
convinced that here was a stepping-stone.
"All right," she said. "That’s not much pay, but I’ll take it."
"And what about references?" asked Mrs. Russell.
This was an attempt to regain a lost advantage. If she was getting
Angelica cheap, she must make her feel and see that she was cheap.
"I haven’t any."
"Oh, but you must have SOME!" said Mrs. Russell.
She was determined that Angelica should give her references, even if
they were obviously false ones. She knew she would be questioned in
regard to this, and she preferred to say that she had been deceived.
That would absolve her from blame. It would even add to her merit,
showing her to be trusting and kindly.
"The rector of your church, perhaps?" she suggested.
"Haven’t any church."
"Didn’t you say that you’d worked for a milliner?" "Wouldn’t she——”
"Not on your life! My Lord! I don’t know what she wouldn’t say about
me! She hated the sight of me. Jealous! No, there’s no one; but if you
want to know more about me, you could go and see my mother."
"I might do that," said Mrs. Russell slowly. It was a good idea; she
would certainly be praised for going to all this trouble in
investigating the character of Polly’s companion. "Yes, I will. I’ll go
down to the city and fetch you to-morrow morning. And be ready for me
early, won’t you?—for I have so very little time." She went to the
door, followed by Angelica; then out into the hall, where the patient
row still sat, waiting for the turns she had promised them.
"I’m sorry," she told them, with an affable smile, "but the place is
taken. Good morning!"
They all stared at her incredulously for a moment. Then, as she held
open the front door, they got up, surged out together, and went down the
hill in a straggling parade, all so shabby in the sunlight. The one who
had been waiting so very long, in the dark under the stairs—a wan
little thing in a befeathered hat—turned upon Angelica a dreadful
look.
Angelica was ready by nine o’clock the next morning, with a bag in which
was packed every decent thing she owned. The people in the flat above
had been astounded by the sound of Mrs. Kennedy’s sewing-machine at two
o’clock in the morning, for she and her child had sat up nearly all
night, making ready. It was a melancholy, a heart-breaking work for the
poor mother. She wasn’t going away. She had no adventure to excite
her, no ambition, no hope, nothing but the bitter certainty of
loneliness and poverty. She tried to be—not cheerful, for that she
never was, but calm and reasonable, while all the time she had before
her the spectre of the evening when she would come home to empty rooms,
to eat her supper alone. A groan escaped her, which she tried to turn
into a sigh.
"It’s the very, very worst that can happen to any one in this wide
world," she thought; "to be left all alone, and getting old!"
She hadn’t been able to keep her eyes from Angelica, sitting bent over a
blouse she was finishing, with her hair, just washed, hanging down her
back, wet, straight, and heavy, drying about her face in a sort of mist
of feathery tendrils.
Angelica was glad, she was delighted to go. She certainly loved her
mother, but a separation of a week, a month, a year, didn’t trouble her,
didn’t cause her a pang. She knew in theory that life is terribly
uncertain, but she didn’t really believe it. She felt sure that no
matter where she went, or how long she stayed, her mother would be there
at home, absolutely unchanged.
She was the child who has never been burnt, sitting before the glowing
fire. Having as yet never lost anything, she didn’t value anything. In
that enticing future toward which she looked, she expected to live once
more with her mother. In the meantime it didn’t matter.
"Well!" said Mrs. Kennedy. "I’ll have no one to go to the movies with
now."
"You wait!" said Angelica. "One of these days I’ll take you to a real
show, mommer!"
Already she saw herself the benefactor. She had forgotten, or perhaps
didn’t even know, how limitlessly she had received.
They went to bed in the early morning, and Angelica slept, while her
weary mother lay awake at her side in the narrow bed they shared. The
room was too dark for her to see anything, but she could hear the
breathing of her dear child, and with a furtive hand feel that soft,
slippery hair, still fresh and redolent of white soap.
"I’ve got to expect it!" she told herself over and over. "I’ve got to
expect it! They all go, for one reason or another. We’ve got to make up
our minds to lose everything in this world."
She got up again at six, and set to work cleaning her little flat from
end to end, so that it should be ready for Mrs. Russell’s inspection.
Angelica insisted upon helping her.
"Oh, mommer, for Gawd’s sake! I won’t get tired, and I won’t get dirty.
She won’t come before ten, anyway—prob’ly later. I bet she has her
breakfast in bed!"
"She must be a queer one," said Mrs. Kennedy, "from what you tell me."
"A freak! I wish you could have seen her—with pants on and her hair
coming down her back. And there’s something mean about her, too. I don’t
like her—telling them all they’d get their turns, and then putting them
out, that way. And look at what she’s paying me!"
"Angie, if you’re going to work for her," said Mrs. Kennedy gravely,
"you’d better hold your tongue about her. If you can take her money——”
"I only wish I had a chance to take a little more of it! I don’t see how
you’ll get along, mommer."
"Oh, I’ll manage," said her mother.
She might have mentioned that she had supported her child for many, many
years, and that even after Angelica had become a wage-earner she had
taken very little of the girl’s money—only what had to be used to
conform to Angie’s ever more and more exacting standards.
At ten o’clock Mrs. Russell hadn’t come yet, and Mrs. Kennedy couldn’t
wait any longer. She was obliged to go out and scrub the halls. She had
her best black silk blouse on, too, and she was dreadfully nervous about
splashing. Every half-hour or so she ran down-stairs to her child, to
see if the lady hadn’t come yet, and found Angelica scornfully waiting,
reading a magazine.
At one o’clock they sat down in the kitchen to a hurried meal of tea and
bread, ready to hide all traces of it at the first sound of the
door-bell.
"I promised Mrs. Schell I’d do her kitchen floor this afternoon," said
Mrs. Kennedy, with an anxious frown. "What do you want me to do about
it, Angie?"
"Go ahead! If she comes, I’ll run up and get you."
She spent a miserable afternoon. She scrubbed with conscientious vigour,
but with an absent mind. She thought the same thoughts over and
over—first, how disappointed Angie would be if the lady never came;
then that perhaps, after all, she wasn’t going to lose her.
"Maybe we’ll have supper together again this very night!" she would
think hopefully.
Upon the heels of her hope came the certainty that if Angelica didn’t go
away now, she would later. It was sure to come; no chance whatever that
such a girl would stop there, underground, with her.
When she came down again for the last time, at six o’clock, Angelica was
in the little parlour, now black as the pit, and she was so very still
that her mother felt disturbed. She was afraid that the poor, proud
thing was grieving, and she went in to her, noiseless in her thin old
shoes; but when she had lighted the lamp, she saw that Angelica was
sleeping, stretched out limp and childish in the big rocking-chair.
Mrs. Kennedy hurried away breathlessly to the grocer’s, to buy a little
treat; for weren’t they going to have supper together again after all?
It was eight o’clock when Mrs. Russell came. Finding the door unlocked,
she walked in without permission, as one is surely privileged to do in
so mean a home. They were in the kitchen, with the water running in the
sink, and they didn’t hear her come down the hall, didn’t know that she
was standing in the door, watching them.
"Well, are you ready?" she demanded.
They both turned and regarded her with just the same look—a fine
indignation, a stern surprise—Mrs. Kennedy with both hands plunged in
the dish-pan, Angelica holding a dish which she was wiping. They
resented the intrusion, and they showed it.
"Yes, I’m ready," said Angelica slowly.
She stood regarding Mrs. Russell with a steady, level gaze, not devoid
of insolence, for she knew no other way to meet the careless
condescension of that lady.
Although she was young and lovely, and in spite of Mrs. Russell’s
slovenliness and egotism, Angelica felt her own inferiority. She hadn’t
what Mrs. Russell had—Mrs. Russell standing there in a dreadful green
tweed suit, with a mannish sort of felt hat on her wild red hair, with
her great flat feet and her mechanical smile. That manner, and above
all, that voice, clear, cool, soft! Quite unconsciously, Angelica had a
profound Latin admiration for sangfroid. She couldn’t be coolly
self-possessed; couldn’t be anything more or less than rude.
"Get your things on, then, won’t you please?" said Mrs. Russell.
Angelica was on the point of saying that she would first finish the task
in hand, but her mother pushed her gently away.
"Go along!" she said.
There was but one course open to a proud soul. It was essential to keep
Mrs. Russell waiting as long as possible, and that Angelica did. She
could hear voices from the parlour—her mother’s, subdued and
monotonous, and Mrs. Russell’s, light, gay, and sweet. While she dawdled
before the mirror there came a new voice, shouting reproachfully through
the open front door:
"Now then, Mrs. Russell! It’s late!"
Angelica looked out and saw in their little hall a chauffeur in livery.
Mrs. Russell was also looking out.
"Very well, Courtland," she said soothingly. "Come in and get the young
lady’s luggage. Where is it, please?"
"Here!" said Angelica, pointing to a little pasteboard suitcase, painted
to look like leather.
The chauffeur regarded it in silence for a minute; then he picked it up
disdainfully, swung it in the air to emphasize its lightness, and went
out.
"Don’t be all night!" he called back.
His effrontery was amazing to Mrs. Kennedy. She couldn’t help but feel
suspicious of a lady whose servants spoke to her so disrespectfully.
Mrs. Russell, instead of being angry, seemed alarmed.
"Make haste, please!" she said. "It’s late."
She beckoned to Angelica, who followed at her heels. They went out, and
the front door closed after them.
Mrs. Kennedy sank into the rocking-chair and put her head down on her
folded arms, on the table. She had an odd and horrible sensation, such
as a fast-walking man might feel at coming suddenly up against a high
wall. She was at the end—the end of something. She was like a tired,
mercilessly driven horse whose rider has jumped off. Those twenty years
of drudgery, the struggle to "keep up a home," the debts so painfully
met, the persecutions and indignities endured, all for that girl who had
gone off with only a smile over her shoulder! She groaned—a sound which
startled even herself. It was all so wasted, so utterly done with now!
Then like a whirlwind came Angelica back again, seized the little woman
in her arms, and strained her against her thin body.
"Mommer!" she cried with a sob. "Dear, dear darling old mommer! I had to
come—just to say good-by alone. Don’t be sad, deary mommer, please!
It’s only for a little while, you know!"
"No!" said her mother’s heart. "You will never come back. I have lost
you!"
"It can’t be the same night!" said Angelica to herself. "It can’t be
only an hour ago that I was in the kitchen at home!"
For here she was now, in a soft little nest of a room, furnished in
mahogany and dull blue, with every sort of convenience and luxury, with
a gleaming white bathroom of its own, with long mirrors, shaded lamps,
easy chairs. It amazed her. She had locked the door and got undressed,
but she couldn’t persuade herself to go to bed. Barefooted, in a sturdy
cotton night-dress her mother had made, she wandered about, examining
everything like a happy child.
Then, not for the first time, she sat down before the dressing-table and
studied her own reflection in the triple mirror—the profile with the
long, delicate nose, the narrow cheek, the soft fullness of the chin.
Then she looked straight before her, at her dark and solemn face, her
long black hair, parted in the middle, making her more than ever like a
Madonna, sorrowful, spiritual.
She was vaguely aware of the rare and exotic quality of her charm, and
she was dissatisfied with herself because her thoughts were so
incongruous. She couldn’t help wondering how much the lace bedspread
cost, and where it had been bought. She had seen furnishings like these
in the shops, and she began to compute how much the whole thing must
have cost.
"For Gawd’s sake!" she cried impatiently. "Why can’t I just enjoy it,
and not be so——”
She had no word for her meaning. She got up, and from behind the
curtains looked out upon the clear and chilly May night, down below,
across the road, over a woodland of delicate young trees, scarcely
stirring in a faint wind. That august loveliness disturbed her. She
turned away, back to the shelter of the dainty room, puzzled and angry
because she couldn’t enjoy it with simplicity; because there was
something, in the night outside—or was it within herself?—that
distressed and hurt her.
Undine waiting for a soul!
There was a knock at the door, and she flew across the room, alarmed.
Who knew what customs these rich people had? A little clock told her
that it was just ten; she was sure they didn’t go to bed then. She knew,
indeed, from the Sunday papers, that they turned night into day. Perhaps
they had a meal now, and she was expected to be ready for it.
"What is it?" she asked, through the closed door.
"Mrs. Russell wants you at once in her room," said a sharp voice.
So she put on her shrunken, faded little kimono and went out into the
hall. A light burned there, showing a double row of closed doors. In
what possible way was she to know Mrs. Russell’s? She was daunted; she
didn’t even know who composed the household; couldn’t imagine who might
be behind those closed doors.
There wasn’t a sound in the house. She advanced a little, and stopped
again, frowning at her own distress, her own fast-beating heart.
"I’m only doing what I’m paid to do!" she reassured herself. "If I can’t
find her, I’m a fool. I will! I’ll knock at every single door!"
She began with a firm rap on the door next her own. There was no
response, so she tried the next, and at once that agreeable voice called
out:
"Come in!"
Mrs. Russell lay in bed with her eyes closed, in a lace cap and
negligée. Her little rose-shaded lamp gave only a dim light, by which
she looked oddly young and pretty; even her tousled hair was charming.
The rest of the big room was shadowy, with here and there a glint from
glass or silver.
There was absolute silence; Mrs. Russell didn’t stir. Angelica felt
herself at a great disadvantage in her kimono, standing at the bedside,
waiting for orders. It nettled her.
"Well!" she demanded, with a boldness that surprised even herself.
But Mrs. Russell didn’t notice it, or at least didn’t appear to notice
it. She opened her eyes and smiled affably.
"I’m horribly selfish, aren’t I? But I’m such a miserable sleeper, and I
felt—won’t you read to me a bit?"
"All right!" said Angelica; but though she spoke so carelessly, she felt
suddenly quite sick. "What shall I read?"
"Here’s my book. I suppose you don’t read French, do you?"
Angelica reddened.
"Yes, of course!" she answered. "Nothing but French spoken in the
factory, you know!"
"We’ll stick to English, then," said Mrs. Russell, with just the same
smile. "And hand me my cigarette-case, won’t you?"
Angelica did so, and nervously opened the book at a marked page; but
Mrs. Russell stopped her.
"Just a minute please! I want to ask you something. I’ll have to explain
things a little. I told you, didn’t I, that I really engaged you for my
daughter-in-law? She’s in a terrible state, poor soul! She lost her
little boy. He died of pneumonia six weeks ago. Do you know, I’ve always
thought that that poor little creature caught the disease from a friend
of Polly’s, whose husband was just getting over it when she came here.
My husband insists that it’s awfully contagious, or infectious, or
whichever it is. And this woman, my dear, was so heartless about that
poor man! She said, when I asked after him, ‘Oh, nothing will ever
kill him!’ Did you ever? But as far as that goes, she’s never made the
slightest pretense of caring for him. But I think—don’t you?—that you
can be decent without being hypocritical. She simply tells every one
that she married him for his money, and that now she’s got it, she’s
going to spend it. Of course, I’ve known her for years, but her
husband’s more or less of a stranger—a Canadian, I think; and really
very nice—too nice, I tell her. I don’t make any pretense about it. I
simply tell her she’s a heartless little beast, and extravagant. It’s
incredible!"
Angelica was bewildered by this volubility. She saw no point in it, and
yet she couldn’t believe that any words spoken in so beautiful a voice,
and with so just and well-bred an accent, were mere nonsense. She sat
staring at the red-haired lady until she came back to her subject.
"But about Polly. She’s the dearest creature in all the world, but she’s
rather peculiar in some ways. She’s—well, exacting. She can’t see—she
wants every instant of my time. Of course I’m willing—I’m glad to be
with her; but after all, one has one’s own life, and there’s my husband.
But if ever I suggest a companion! My dear! We have the most miserable
time. She never says a word, but she lets you see....
"But I simply cannot stop in that room all day long. I’m frightfully
dependent upon exercise. If I don’t get plenty of it, I go all to
pieces. I can’t sit still there hour after hour. I’m terribly sorry
about her child, and all that, but really, what is the good in talking
and talking about it? It only upsets her. And yet, if you try to talk of
anything else, you can see she considers you cruel and unfeeling. She
simply broods over the thing. She’s so morbidly sensitive that it’s
painful to be with her. And I’m not particularly good with sick people
myself. I’m too nervous. My dear, you’ll remember all this, won’t you,
and be tactful with the poor soul?"
"When will I see her?"
"That’s the point. You see, it would never do to bring you in as a
companion. She says she couldn’t stand a hired companion, when she’s in
such a state. She doesn’t seem to understand that I’ve got to have some
sort of relief. That’s why I’m paying you out of my own pocket; but it
won’t do to let her know. That’s why I’ve given you that little
guest-room. I want to tell her you’re the daughter of an old friend, and
that you’ve come to visit me—until she gets used to you. Do you see?"
"Yes," said Angelica. "But do you think she’ll believe it?"
"Don’t worry, my dear. I understand Polly. All you’ve got to do is to
sit with her and listen to her if she wants to talk. She won’t ask you
any questions; she’s too indifferent. That’s really the trouble with the
poor girl—she’s so self-centered. She lies there, brooding. Of course,
it’s hard for her; but after all, we all have our troubles to bear. Now,
to-morrow morning I’ll take you in there and introduce you to her, and
you must——”
She stopped abruptly and yawned. It was a disconcerting habit she had,
as if her incredibly frivolous mind wore itself down by its own erratic
movements.
"Now read, won’t you?" she asked.
Angelica began, took up the book, and plunged into it, concentrating her
mind fiercely on the words alone. She had no idea what the book was
about; what she read conveyed no impression to her mind. Her sole
thought was not to expose herself, not to make mistakes, and of course
she did. There came words upon words which she couldn’t pronounce.
"What?" Mrs. Russell would ask with an amused frown, and Angelica would
have to stop and spell the word and be corrected.
For days they stayed in her head to torment her, those words, those
sounds which she repeated after Mrs. Russell. They danced before her
eyes, rang in her ears at night.
It was a horrible hour. Angelica couldn’t make any sort of
counter-attack, couldn’t assert herself, could only go on, and make
outrageous blunders, and humbly repeat the corrections.
Came a long French phrase, not one word of which she could manage. She
stopped short.
"Go on!" said Mrs. Russell.
Angelica flew at the thing, desperately and recklessly. Mrs. Russell
couldn’t stop laughing. She lay back on her pillows and covered her eyes
with her hands.
"Oh, my dear! That’s really—— You mustn’t mind my laughing, will you?"
"I don’t," said Angelica.
But she did—she hated and dreaded that laughter with all her heart. If
she had planned it carefully, Mrs. Russell couldn’t have devised a
better method for subduing her.
Yet all her recollections of this nightmare of shame and distress were
permeated by the mystic atmosphere that so enthralled her—the
rose-shaded light, the nonchalant, red-haired lady in bed, the sweet
smoke of the cigarettes; all the softness, the seclusion, the luxury,
all the amazing fascination of a dream come true—except, of course,
that she should have been in Mrs. Russell’s place.
"All right! Never mind! Don’t bother any more!" murmured Mrs. Russell at
last. "It’s a stupid story, anyway; and I suppose you’re getting sleepy.
If you’ll go down-stairs and fetch me another book, I’ll read myself to
sleep. There’s a package of new books Eddie brought home. Pick out
something that looks bright and jolly, will you? They’re on the table in
the library."
"I’ll have to get dressed first."
"No, you won’t. Put on my slippers and run down as you are. There’s not
a soul in the house but Polly and you and me and the servants, and
they’re all women. It’s just at the foot of the stairs."
So Angelica, shamefaced in her kimono and with her hanging hair, went
softly down the stairs. The halls were brightly lighted, but there was
no one about, and not a sound. She went into the library, which she
remembered having passed. It was fascinating to her at this hour—silent
and warm, with little glowing lamps in the corners and rows and rows of
orderly books.
On the long table in the center of the room lay the package she had been
told of. The paper was opened, and showed five or six fresh, brightly
bound books. Angelica inspected them with profound attention, for with
all her heart she desired to make an intelligent choice. At last she
picked out three, and was about to go up-stairs with them, when a voice
addressed her—a man’s voice.
"Are they for Mrs. Russell?" it said.
She started violently, dismayed at being seen by masculine eyes in such
a costume. He was standing in the doorway; evidently he had just come
in, for he carried his hat and stick. He wore a dinner-jacket, and it
was the first time Angelica had ever been spoken to by a man in a
dinner-jacket.
"Yes," she answered.
"All those books are good," he said. "I know she’ll like them all. I
picked them out for her."
She gave him a quick and stealthy look, and her heart beat faster. He
might, she thought, very well be the hero for whom she was waiting. He
was a tall, blond fellow with a little fair mustache, very
boyish-looking, very serious, not exactly handsome, but unquestionably
possessed of a certain distinction. She looked at him again, but this
time she met his eyes squarely, his shrewd gray eyes, and she saw quite
plainly that he was displeased, that he didn’t like to see girls in
kimonos in that library.
"Who are you?" he asked Angelica. "A new maid?"
"No!" she replied indignantly. "Not a maid. I’m her—I don’t know what
her name is—her companion."
He raised his eyebrows.
"I’ll take up the books," he said. "I want to speak to Mrs. Russell. You
needn’t trouble. Good night!"
He waved her out of the room ahead of him. She hurried, anxious to get
out of his sight, and went into her own room. Looking back, she saw that
he had left the door of Mrs. Russell’s room open, and she approached, to
listen, for she felt quite sure that the conversation would relate to
herself.
The young man had flung the books on the table, and was talking angrily.
"Then what did you do it for? You’ve no business to bring a girl like
that into the house!"
"She’s respectable," said Mrs. Russell.
"You don’t know. She doesn’t look it. Anyway, even if she is, she’s no
more fit to be a companion than—I don’t know what. It’s an insult to
Polly!"
"No, it isn’t. She’s a nice, cheerful girl, and she can be very useful.
She sews——”
"If you want her for a maid, call her a maid, and put her in a maid’s
room. Why did you put her there, at the end of the hall? One of the best
rooms!"
"To be near me."
"Near you? You said she was for Polly."
"That’s no reason why she shouldn’t help me now and then when I——”
"Now, look here!" interrupted the young man. "This is final. Either she
goes to-morrow, or you’ll put her in her proper place. I won’t have her
running around the house half-dressed. If she’s a maid, treat her as a
maid. If you want a companion, get one—a real one. What does Polly
say?"
"Polly hasn’t seen her yet. I engaged her. I went all the way into the
city to see her mother and find out about her. You know, Eddie, I’m
paying her out of my own pocket, because I feel that Polly shouldn’t be
left alone."
"You ought to know better than to pick out a girl like this one!" he
cried. "I’m disgusted. You’re so anxious to get rid of the trouble of
looking after Polly that you’d pick up any one, out of the street—any
one cheap!"
He was very angry; his fair face flushed; he twisted his little mustache
with a trembling hand.
"I’d like to see her——” he began again.
Angelica waited to hear no more. She rushed back to her own room and
began to dress with frantic haste.
"Well!" she said to herself. "It’s all up, now! I never thought it would
last, anyway."
At length she was dressed, shabby and dusty enough in her street
clothes, but feeling far better prepared for an encounter with the blond
young man.
"All right!" she said. "All right! Let him fire me! I don’t care. I
never pretended to be any different from what I am, anyway."
She was defiant, but she wasn’t resentful, any more than she would have
been if the boss of a factory had reproved her. She had grown up in the
consciousness that there were in the world people who had a right to get
angry and to reprove—teachers, policemen, bosses, rich people.
There was a knock at the door, and a voice informed her sharply that
Mrs. Russell was waiting for her. To her surprise and relief she found
Mrs. Russell alone, and yawning.
"I suppose we’ll have to go to bed now," she said. "It’s after twelve;
so I’ll say good night to you."
"Good night," Angelica answered.
She supposed that she was to be allowed to leave the room; but she had
quite half an hour’s work still to do. She had to brush and braid Mrs.
Russell’s short, curly hair; she had to go down-stairs again and fetch a
bottle of spring water from the ice-chest; she had to put away dozens of
things, and then to set out on the table lip-salve, cold cream, and some
sort of medicine; and then to pull up the blinds, put out the light, and
grope her way out in the dark.
She was in the habit of going to bed very much earlier; yet, once more
in her own room, she didn’t feel at all sleepy. She lay stretched out on
the bed, with her hands clasped under her head, meditating about Mrs.
Russell, who was altogether outside her experience, and the blond young
man with the little mustache. She wondered who he was.
"Her son, I guess," she reflected. "Anyway, he’s pretty cross to her. I
wouldn’t put up with it, if I was her. One of these rich young fellers,
he is, and as spoiled as can be!"
Then she didn’t think about him any more; he was no longer the possible
hero of her romance. He was so obviously not for her. Her beauty, her
impudence, would never impress him. Her mind dwelt for an instant with a
sort of shadowy regret upon his nice young face; then the current of her
thought changed, and ran back into the channel it had made for
itself—that of speculating upon her own future.
"My first night in this house!" she said. "I wonder what’s going to
happen to me here?"
She couldn’t invent or imagine anything. Certainly she couldn’t even
dimly foresee the truth.
Angelica awoke early the next morning and dressed quickly, determined to
be ready before Mrs. Russell could possibly send for her. She needn’t
have hurried; she waited from half-past six until half-past eight
without hearing a sound. Time after time she opened her door and stepped
out into the hall, to find it always empty and silent.
Finally she could tolerate it no longer, she was so much afraid that
something was expected of her, that she was betraying her awful
ignorance of rich people’s habits. She decided to go down-stairs, find a
servant, and make diplomatic inquiries about the daily procedure.
As she was going along the hall, who should come out of his room,
directly in her path, but the blond young man.
"Er—good morning," he said, with a slight frown.
"Good morning!" Angelica answered, and in her desperation added: "Say,
would you mind telling me, when does she get up?"
"Ten o’clock—somewhere about then. You’d better come and have your
breakfast with me now. I’d like to have a little talk with you."
She followed him with a great assumption of carelessness—which,
unfortunately, there was no one to see—down the stairs and into a
little screened porch, where a willow table was laid. She was impressed
by what she saw, but not astonished, for she was prepared for the utmost
luxury. In fact, she couldn’t have been astonished, no matter what she
had seen, so greatly did the marvels of which she had read in the Sunday
papers exceed any possible reality.
On the table stood a copper coffee percolator, shining in the sun like
gold, and steaming softly; a nickel chafing-dish, bright as silver;
cut-glass cream-jugs and sugar-bowls like diamonds; and a cloth of
hemstitched linen. There were little willow chairs with chintz cushions
drawn up before each place, and sweet fresh flowers. She was in no way
disappointed.
She sat down opposite the young man, resolved to do exactly as he did.
He unfolded an immense napkin, then picked up the morning paper, and for
a few minutes studied the Wall Street news intently. Then, as the
servant entered, he laid the paper down and sat immovable while she drew
him a steaming cup of coffee, prepared it, and put before him a
cantaloupe cut into halves and filled with ice.
"Bring this young lady’s breakfast, if you please," he said, frowning
again.
"Now, then, miss—what is your name?" he asked Angelica, when the maid
had left the room.
"Kennedy—Angelica Kennedy."
"Miss Kennedy, I was speaking to my mother about you last night. I felt
that it wasn’t at all the thing to—for her to have engaged you as a
companion. You’re not qualified. It’s not fair to Mrs. Geraldine, and
it’s not fair to you. You couldn’t fill such a position."
He spoke with decision, with authority, but not in the least unkindly.
He spoke in the manner which his business training had given him; and
Angelica accepted it in the manner she had learned from her factory
experience. He was arbitrary and supreme; useless for her to complain,
to resent. She didn’t even trouble to think whether he was just or not;
simply, she was "fired."
"All right," she said, without emotion.
"Now," he said, "if you wish to remain in another capacity—if you wish
to be Mrs. Russell’s maid——”
"No, I don’t."
"That’s for you to decide, of course; but it’s a pleasant, easy
position, and the pay is better."
"I’m not thinking so much about pay. I could have got plenty of jobs
that would have paid twice as much as this. Only——”
"Why did you want this?" he asked, with interest.
"Well, I thought I’d——” Her dark face flushed. "I want to learn—nice
ways. I want to get on. I don’t want to be—like I am, all my life."
"You’re perfectly right!" he said, looking at her. "I’m glad to see
you’re ambitious; but why choose this sort of way to get on? Why don’t
you try to get into a good office?"
She shook her head.
"No! It wouldn’t do me a bit of good to get ahead in business if
I—didn’t have nice ways. No! I watched the papers a long time for
something I could have a try at, and then I saw Mrs. Russell’s ad, with
‘experience unnecessary.’ I knew I wasn’t the kind of girl that they
want for a companion, but I thought if I could show ’em that I could be
more useful than any one else, I might stand a chance."
He was silent for a time, while the servant reentered with a cantaloupe
for Angelica and porridge for him. Then he looked up and studied her
face.
"I think—if I’d understood the case better, perhaps——” he said. "But,
anyway, why don’t you stay as my mother’s maid? There’s no use having a
silly pride about such things. There always has to be a beginning."
"No!" she said again. "There’s no sense in that. If I can’t be—oh,
right in the family, kind of, it won’t help me. I’ll go. I couldn’t
stand being a servant."
He didn’t say any more, but continued his breakfast with hearty
appetite, and with a dexterity which she found herself quite unable to
copy. At last he had finished, and pushed back his chair.
"I’ve been thinking," he said. "You’re evidently out of the ordinary. I
don’t see why you shouldn’t be given a chance—if you’re really anxious
to improve yourself." He rose. "I’ll speak to Mrs. Geraldine this
evening, when I get home," he said. "If she agrees, you shall stay. Good
morning!"
He went out abruptly, leaving Angelica alone at the table. She jumped up
in a violent hurry, before the servant could return and find her
defenseless, and went out into the hall. She had no idea where to go,
what to do; she was bewildered and rather miserable. The young man
hadn’t made any effort to spare her feelings. Suggesting that she should
be a servant!
"He’s got a nerve, all right!" she said to herself, but half-heartedly.
Really she thought that he was right in all that he had said, and that,
in spite of his uncompromising frankness, he had been friendly. She
liked him.
"But she’s different," she reflected. "I won’t let her trample all
over me!"
She recalled the previous evening with burning shame. Those French
words! She felt that Mrs. Russell had been unfair and unkind, and she
went up-stairs, to find her, with deep reluctance. She was determined
not to be meek and not to be frightened.
"You’ve got to act like you were somebody!" she said to herself. "You’ve
got to show ’em you won’t stand any of their nonsense. People take you
at your own valuation!"
That was a favorite phrase of hers. She had read it often, and it quite
fell in with her cheap and pitiful philosophy. It was true enough, too,
among the people she knew—people who weren’t capable of judging or
analyzing a fellow being. She herself took others at their own
valuation, because of an unconscious conviction that she was incapable
of making an original appraisement.
So, resolutely looking as if she were somebody, she knocked at Mrs.
Russell’s door.
"Come in!" said that suave and charming voice, and she entered.
She had expected to find Mrs. Russell still in bed, lazy and
fascinating, and she was more or less surprised at finding her up and
dressed, and scribbling away at a little desk. All her charm had
vanished. She looked quite her five and fifty years; she was bony,
sallow, horribly untidy in a green sweater and a short plaid skirt that
showed her knoblike ankles and her great feet. It was rather surprising
to see her hair coming down so early in the morning, a coil of it
slipping out under her jaunty little hat. It gave her a most unpleasant,
haglike look.
"Golf this morning!" she cried cheerfully. "Damn these letters! They’ll
have to wait. Now, my dear, I’ll take you to Polly, because I’m in a
hurry to be off. Mind what you say, won’t you? She’s so exacting! Make
friends with her and stay near her. I’ve absolutely got to be gone all
day—I’ve promised so many people at the Country Club, and I’ve got to
get in a lot of practice before the big match. It’s a wonderful game,
but it makes a perfect slave of you. It’s so fatally easy to lose your
form. I take it so seriously. I worry myself ill over it. Come on!"
Angelica came after her slowly. She didn’t know whether she ought to say
anything about her talk with the blond young man—whether he expected
her to do so. Before she had decided, Mrs. Russell was knocking on a
half-open door, and a voice bade them come in.
Angelica had had a preconceived idea that this daughter-in-law would be
young and beautiful, a pampered darling. She was somewhat taken aback by
the reality. There was a woman lying in bed, reading a newspaper, which
she politely put down when they entered—a woman of forty, dark, sallow,
with heavy eyes. She was apathetic and weary, but she was not dull;
there was a quiet intelligence in her glance; she was indifferent
without being uninterested. She was like a very tired but pleased
spectator at a play. There was a charm about her lassitude, a lingering
handsomeness which she made no effort to retain.
"Good morning!" she said, with a smile.
"Good morning, Polly! Did you have a good night? I don’t believe you
did, you poor soul! I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I couldn’t sleep,
thinking about you. I would have come in, half a dozen times, only that
I was afraid of disturbing you, if you had dropped off. And it worried
me so to think that I had to leave you to-day! But it couldn’t be
helped. I’ve absolutely got to go to the dentist."
"Like that?" asked Polly, glancing at the other’s costume.
"My dear, of course not! I just put these on to do a little gardening. I
was up so early; I thought I’d look after your beloved plants a bit."
"Now, why does she tell such lies?" thought Angelica. "Can’t she see
that that woman doesn’t believe her?"
"You’re going out again, then?" asked Polly, with just a shade of
reproachfulness in her voice.
"My dear, I’m obliged to go to the dentist’s——”
"You won’t be home to lunch, then, I suppose?"
"But you shan’t be alone!" cried Mrs. Russell brightly. "I’ve got Miss
Kennedy here—the daughter of an old, old friend of mine!"
And then began a new series of the most preposterous lies, flowing in a
bland, untroubled stream. She said that Angelica’s father was a
clergyman living in the country, and that Angelica was going to be
married, and that her mother had sent her to stop with Mrs. Russell
while she bought her trousseau. She added a great deal of the grossest
flattery about Polly’s superior taste.
"I advise you to consult her in everything!" she ended, turning to the
astounded Angelica. "Now, then, I’ve got to fly. You two must have a
nice, comfy chat!"
And she whimpered to Angelica as she went out:
"Just till she gets used to you, you know. Then we can tell her!"
Polly lay back on her pillows, looking at Angelica. She didn’t ask her
to sit down. Angelica returned her gaze resentfully and miserably,
ashamed of her preposterous position, but quite helpless, having no idea
how to extricate herself. She didn’t feel able to say bluntly that Mrs.
Russell’s story was a lie, although she could see that Polly was
suspicious—more than suspicious—and she was certain that she could not
sustain any sort of examination.
"When did you come?" inquired Polly.
"Last night."
"Alone?"
"No; she brought me."
"Mrs. Russell, you mean? And she says she was a school friend of your
mother’s. I wonder what school!"
"I don’t know."
"Does she often visit your mother?"
"No."
"Then, as a matter of fact, you don’t know her very well?"
"Never saw her till the day before yesterday."
Polly smiled.
"Aren’t you afraid you’ll feel rather strange here? How long do you
expect to stay?"
"I don’t know."
"You don’t know? I’ve forgotten—where did Mrs. Russell say you lived?"
"In New York."
"That’s odd—very odd! I certainly understood her to say you lived in
the country."
Angelica was dumb.
"Where in New York? I know the city so well."
"At the Ritz," said Angelica boldly.
She was quite desperate now. She was sure that Polly saw through her,
and that it was only a matter of time before she was shamefully exposed.
"At the Ritz!" exclaimed Polly.
Their eyes met in a long and hostile look.
"Yes, at the Ritz," Angelica repeated.
"Why do you tell me that?" asked Polly quietly.
Angelica’s swarthy face grew scarlet.
"You needn’t think this was my idea!" she cried. "I don’t try to pass
myself off as—some one different. She hired me, and I told her all
about myself. My mother’s a janitress, and I worked in a factory!"
Polly’s face had flushed, too.
"What was the idea in trying to make you my companion?" she asked. "Did
Mrs. Russell imagine I shouldn’t know the difference? Or perhaps she
thought any one was good enough for me!"
Angelica was a hardy young devil, but this was too much even for her.
"I’m not—just any one," she muttered, with a quivering lip. "I’m
not—dirt. I’m——”
"My dear child!" cried Polly, in sudden compunction. "Of course not! I
didn’t mean to offend you in any way. I’ve nothing against you
personally; it’s simply that I don’t want a companion at all. I—I can’t
endure the idea of a person who is paid to amuse me—a stranger, who
doesn’t know anything about me or the child I lost!"
She waited a moment, then she went on.
"I’m very sorry. It’s an awkward situation for both of us. Mrs. Russell
has done it before. You see, the doctor said I was not to be left
alone—all nonsense, but Mr. Eddie took it very much to heart, and he
wants Mrs. Russell to stay with me. Naturally she finds it irksome, shut
up in the house. If I can’t have a familiar face, then I’d rather be
alone. I’m sorry, but it’s no use your wasting your time, my dear. You
might be looking for something else." She held out her hand with a
kindly smile. "Good-by!" she said.
Angelica didn’t move.
"I saw that Mr. Eddie," she said; "and he said he was going to speak to
you about me. He said he’d keep me if you would."
"But what has he got to do with it?" asked Polly, smiling.
"Well, at first he thought I wouldn’t do; and then, after he thought it
over, he said: ‘Well, I’ll agree if she will.’"
Polly was silent, perplexed to know how to get rid of this tenacious
young creature. Angelica seized the opportunity.
"Well," she said, "I’m sorry I came, bothering you; but as long as I’m
here, hadn’t I better stay till she gets home again? I’m better than
nobody!"
It was the longest day Angelica had ever spent. She didn’t go out of the
room; even lunch was brought to them there. She sat, answering whenever
she was spoken to, but for the most part silent, looking out of the
window at the country landscape, which held nothing to interest her
gamine eye, and watching the clock. She couldn’t believe that something
wouldn’t happen.
She tried, in her very crude way, to study Polly, but she had no
success. She watched her lying for long stretches of time with her eyes
closed, whether asleep or awake it was impossible to divine. Her face in
repose was profoundly mournful, and, unrelieved by the fine black eyes,
looked older and more worn. Her mouth had a kindly line, but it was the
disillusioned, cynical kindness of one who expects no gratitude.
"I suppose she’s Mr. Eddie’s wife," reflected Angelica. "Well, she’s
certainly a lot older than he is—ten years, I’d say. I wonder why they
call her Mrs. Geraldine, when her name’s Polly!"
This detail puzzled her greatly. She fancied it must be some custom of
rich people. Perhaps Polly was a nickname for Geraldine among them. It
didn’t occur to her that it was a surname; she took it for granted that
Polly was young Mrs. Russell.
Little by little, as always, her thoughts drifted off to her own future.
"I wonder how it’ll be when I’m married? Anyway, I bet you’d never catch
me moping around like she does! If I was rich like her, and got sick,
I’d have lots of flowers, and friends coming in all the time—everything
nice and pretty and bright; and a trained nurse, too, I guess."
It must be admitted that Angelica had little sympathy. She had a certain
amount of facile generosity. She had moods when she was willing to do a
great deal for any one she liked; but it was impossible for her to put
herself in the place of another, to compassionate any pain which she had
not actually felt herself. Losing a baby seemed to her a grief of small
significance. She had seen very little of babies, and wasn’t interested
in them. To her, at nineteen, the only comprehensible sorrow was that of
losing a lover.
She regarded Polly with irritation. She was rich, not too old, not too
bad-looking; why didn’t she try to throw off this lethargy of grief and
take some advantage of her opportunities? The life of a rich person, as
seen by Angelica, was a very fantasy of gaiety. It might be gaiety
covering a broken heart, if you wished, but always gaiety. The proper
course for such as Polly would be to plunge into a whirlpool of
excitement, and just reveal, from time to time, by a shadow stealing
over her face, that her heart was broken. No, decidedly she could not
comprehend this woman lying there with closed eyes, brooding over her
immeasurable loss.
Polly, however, through her greater sophistication and experience, and
through her native shrewdness, found Angelica no puzzle. Now and then
she asked her a well-calculated question, and she soon learned that
Angelica had apparently spent all her nineteen years in learning, quite
unconsciously, whatever would be useful in a lady’s service. She had
spent innumerable Saturday afternoons sauntering through the big shops
with girl friends, until her mind was richly stored with information.
She knew just which place was best for any given article. She had
compared styles and prices, and, with the amazing discernment of her
sort, she had even distinguished among the various grades of customers.
She knew who the really best people were, where they went for things,
what they wanted, and what they paid. She knew things one wouldn’t have
imagined her knowing—smart, out-of-the-way little shops for perfumes,
for sweets, for lingerie.
Of equal or perhaps superior value was her deftness. She could manicure,
she could dress hair; she had picked up, God knows how or where, an
almost professional knowledge of make-up. She could sew, she could
embroider, she could quite marvelously trim hats. She told all this to
Polly, because she wanted to convince her of her usefulness. And she
did.
Long before the afternoon was over, Polly had made up her mind that this
girl would be valuable and likewise agreeable. She liked her, liked her
lovely face and her husky, oddly touching voice, liked the character
which she so ingenuously displayed. Here was a girl passionately anxious
to please, yet without servility, who was at once ignorant and
intelligent; one whom she could command, yet on whom she could lean.
However, she didn’t show any such approval. Who would, indeed, toward a
person being employed?
The light had all faded out of the sky, and the big room was nearly
dark. To Angelica, who never sat still, who was not formed for
meditation, it was depressing to remain there in the deepening twilight,
with no idea how much longer this wretchedness would endure. Polly
didn’t stir; all the house was still.
Her imprisonment was terminated by the sudden entrance of Mr. Eddie.
"Light the lamp!" he cried sharply. "You’re an idiot, Polly, to sit here
in the dark like this! You—Miss What’s-Your-Name—you mustn’t let her.
It’s very bad for her. Try to keep her cheerful."
He had turned a switch as he spoke, and five electric lights had flashed
on, making the room as brilliant as a stage. He looked anxiously at
Polly.
"Eating better?" he asked. "I’ve brought you some oysters—something
rather special. Are you coming down?"
"Not to-night, Eddie, thank you; but I’ll enjoy the oysters. Is your
mother home yet?"
"No. I shan’t wait for her. I told Annie an early dinner. Half-past six
sharp, miss! I’ve brought home a lot of work to do."
He went out again, with a curt nod at Angelica.
"You’d better get ready," said Polly. "He’s not very patient. He doesn’t
like to be kept waiting."
"I am ready," said Angelica. "I haven’t any better clothes to put on."
She had risen, and was standing near the door. She knew that Polly
wished her to go, but still she lingered, miserable but resolute.
"Did I do all right to-day?" she blurted out.
Polly opened her eyes.
"Why, certainly, my dear," she said. "Would you mind putting out all the
lights but one?"
"But doesn’t he want it cheerful?"
"I think it ’ll be more cheerful that way," Polly answered, with a faint
smile. "Now, then—thank you! I think I’ll rest until dinner-time."
"But were you satisfied with me?" insisted Angelica.
"Of course I was."
"Well, do you want me to stay? Because he’s coming to talk it over with
you. Will you tell him that you want me?"
"Yes," said Polly. "I do want you—very much!"
Angelica was very nervous about having dinner with Mr. Eddie. He was
obviously fastidious and hard to please, and she hadn’t the vaguest idea
what his standards might be. She did what she could with her appearance;
she washed her hands and face and brushed her hair, and then, having no
watch or clock to advise her, went down-stairs.
She hadn’t been in the dining-room before, and she stopped, profoundly
impressed, in the doorway. It was so exactly the dining-room she had
expected—the grand, stately dining-room of the cinema drama, with
paneled walls and sideboard loaded with plate, the opulently set table,
the high-backed chairs, the flowers all about, the very air of dignity
and richness.
There was the essential butler, too. She felt sure that the man bending
over the sideboard was a butler; busy, no doubt, with work about which
she was quite ignorant. She drew near to ask him the time, and was
surprised to see him stuffing cigars into his pocket from three or four
boxes that lay in a drawer. She didn’t know whether this was proper,
whether it was part of a butler’s proper functions; but when she saw the
man’s face, and observed his stealthy and hurried manner, she grew
certain that he was stealing. One of those society thieves of whom she
had read!
He was in evening dress, and he had some sort of perfume about him. He
was a slender little man with neat, snow-white hair and a dapper white
mustache. His face was bland, with a long upper lip that gave it a
humorous look, and intelligent blue eyes.
He turned suddenly and saw her.
"Well!" he cried. "Upon my word! And who are you?"
"That’s my business," said Angelica.
This was her idea of a non-committal answer. She could not decide
whether he was a servant, a member of the family, or merely an outside
thief who had dropped in, and she was anxious to make no avoidable
mistakes.
"Of course it is!" he replied, cheerfully. "No doubt I’ll learn in the
course of time. But perhaps you’ll enlighten me as to your status?"
She didn’t understand him, and she scowled.
"Perhaps you’ll tell me what you’re doing here?" he inquired.
"Well, what are you doing here?" she returned.
"Waiting," he answered imperturbably. "Waiting for dinner and Mr.
Eddie."
"Oh, him! Well, he’s in. I saw him up-stairs."
"But do, for pity’s sake, tell me who you are! We don’t take pretty
girls wandering about this house as a matter of course. You’re quite a
startling vision, you know."
She didn’t like his airy gallantry; but she was sure now that he wasn’t
an outside thief or a servant, and that he must therefore be a member of
the family, entitled to answers for questions.
"I’m her companion," she said.
"Aha! And what is your name, if you please?"
"It’s Kennedy."
"Oh! Scotch, are you? You don’t look Scotch. You look like a French
girl, I should say—one of these dark, passionate creatures...."
"All right!" she interrupted, scowling more heavily. "That’ll do about
me. What’s the time?"
He pulled out his watch.
"Six-thirty. Do you dine with us, Miss Kennedy? I hope so. I feel——”
Just then Eddie came in, also in a dinner-jacket and incredibly
neat—the very model of a correct young man. He bowed ceremoniously, if
somewhat severely, to Angelica.
"Good evening, doctor!" he said to the white-haired man.
He touched an electric bell with his foot. The parlour maid came
hastening in.
"I said half-past six!" said Mr. Eddie.
"Yes, sir, I know; but cook——”
"No excuses! You can certainly get some sort of dinner ready for me when
I ask for it. Now hurry up! Never mind about what’s ready and what
isn’t; just bring me something at once."
He pulled out a chair for Angelica, and they all sat down in silence.
"Good Lord!" said Eddie suddenly. "What a life! I’m tired as a dog, and
I’ve got to work all evening."
"Too bad!" said the doctor. "Anything I could do, my boy?"
"No, thanks."
There was silence again. The soup had come in, and Mr. Eddie gave it his
undivided attention. He ate with amazing rapidity, one course after the
other, and he expected to be served without an instant’s delay. Neither
the doctor nor Angelica had ever finished when he had, and their plates
were always whisked away with choice and coveted morsels on them. There
was no sort of conversation—nothing more than Mr. Eddie muttering, with
his mouth full, "All right, Annie!" and having one plate replaced by
another.
But this was as Angelica liked it. She didn’t wish to talk or to be
talked to; she wanted to sit at that table, with two men in evening
dress, to contemplate the silver and china and linen, and to reflect
with amazed delight upon her situation. A dream fulfilled!
Cautiously she surveyed her two companions—Mr. Eddie, looking rather
harassed, and as oblivious of her as if she were invisible to him, and
the dapper little white-haired man, whose eye often met hers with a
glance stealthy and curious. She decided that he must be Polly’s
physician, and a man who must be given no leeway. She had seen his kind,
standing outside stage entrances, with walking-stick and boutonnière and
a smirk, or on corners where working girls passed on their way home.
Instantly he had finished, Mr. Eddie got up and went over to the
sideboard, from the drawer of which he took the three rifled boxes. He
didn’t seem to notice that they had been tampered with, but passed two
to the doctor.
"Help yourself," he said. "I got these from a chap who imports them for
private consumption. Put a couple in your pocket. They’re good."
The doctor helped himself modestly from both boxes, and sniffed at them.
"Ah!" he said. "I can tell! My boy, you can afford to indulge yourself;
you’re one of the lucky ones."
"Yes," said Eddie. "Nothing but luck, of course!"
"I didn’t mean to disparage you," cried the doctor. "No one appreciates
what you’ve done, and how hard you’ve worked, better than I. Just a
little joke, Eddie!" He pushed back his chair and rose. "I’ll have to
run out and fetch your mother home from the club," he said. "Au
revoir!"
Mr. Eddie followed him so quickly that before she knew it Angelica found
herself left alone at the table. She, too, hastened out of the room and
up-stairs, and in a sort of panic knocked at Polly’s door.
"Who is it?" inquired Polly’s voice, languidly.
"Angelica!" she answered, forgetting, and hastily added: "Kennedy."
"I don’t need anything this evening, thank you. Good night!"
She turned away, completely at a loss. It was only half-past seven,
hours before bedtime. What was she to do?
She went into her room. It was as charming and comfortable as she had
remembered it, but it offered no prospect of amusement. She didn’t know
whether she ought to go into the library or any of the rooms
down-stairs. She wanted to, but she had a dread of being spoken to by a
servant.
"Well, I’ll take a walk, then," she said. "No one can say a word against
that!"
She put on her jacket and her rakish big black hat, and went sauntering
down the hall. She had to pass the open door of a room, and in it she
saw Mr. Eddie, writing. He saw her, too.
"Hello!" he cried. "Where are you going?"
"Out for a walk."
"Better not. It’s dark and lonely around here."
Angelica had paused.
"I’ve got to do something," she said.
"Sit down and read," he said, rather impatiently.
"I don’t like to read."
"Nonsense! Here, come in! Sit down! I’ll give you something you’ll
like."
But she hesitated. His bedroom! Surely he didn’t expect her to go in
there?
He did, though.
"Come in! Come in!" he cried, and she obeyed.
She couldn’t really believe that there was anything evil or dangerous
about this worried young man sitting before a desk covered with papers.
He tapped the back of a big armchair.
"Better take off your hat," he said. "It keeps off all the light."
She turned over the pages of the book he gave her, pleased to see that
it had a great many pictures, and began dutifully to read. In spite of
herself she became interested.
It was the third volume of a series, "Magnificent Women of the Past,"
and it contained sketches of the lives of the Empress Josephine, Mme. du
Barry, Mme. de Montespan, Mary Stuart, Lady Hamilton, and many others.
It was sensational, impossible stuff; but Angelica was neither a
well-informed nor a discriminating reader. She was enthralled by this
description of courts, of gallantry, of balls, fêtes, and levées, of
kings, emperors, and princes; above all, by the radiant women who ruled
over this amazing world.
She went on, page after page, stopping only to study the portraits of
the dazzling beauties. She had never imagined anything like this. Of
course, she had studied what was called history in the public school,
but that was entirely concerned with battles and treaties; not a word of
woman, except, very rarely, an entirely respectable heroine. She had
thought of kings and queens as rather dull and solemn persons, also
concerned with battles and treaties. She had never conceived of such a
passionate and colourful and exciting life as was revealed in this book.
It was a life unfortunately impossible in this actual world.
She came to the end of the life of Mme. de Montespan as imagined by the
author, and closed the book, the better to reflect upon it. She sighed;
she was disturbed by dim longings for an existence of this sort. She was
full of dissatisfaction and preposterous ambitions. She was so immersed
in the scenes of court life and in the pictures her imagination created
that it was almost a shock to see Mr. Eddie sitting there in front of
her, still working.
She stared at him thoughtfully. A nice-looking boy—perhaps something
more than that. His face was boyish, but in no way weak; the features
were all good, fine, firm, regular. She fancied—still dreaming of what
she had been reading—that he looked like a young prince, that there was
something in his brow, in his presence, that was noble.
Her glance wandered round his room. It was austere, handsome,
immaculately neat. She liked it; it was manly.
Her roving attention had distracted Mr. Eddie. He looked up, frowned,
and leaned back in his chair.
"Well?" he asked.
"It’s a nice book. I like it."
"That’s right. I’m very glad. Take it with you and finish it. It’ll do
you good."
"How can it?"
He ran his fingers through his hair and surveyed her thoughtfully.
"In the first place," he said, "it’s a very good thing to read history.
I read a great deal of it—lives of famous men, and so on. In the second
place, it’ll give you some idea of what a woman can do."
"Yes, I know; only they’re all bad women," said Angelica, with
simplicity.
Eddie flushed.
"Yes, but—everything was different in those days. They didn’t have our
opportunities. Anyway, in some of the other volumes there are plenty of
women who weren’t bad—Romans, and so on. What I meant is that it shows
you what an influence a woman can have if she tries."
"I guess they didn’t have to try."
"Of course they did. They wanted to be powerful. They wanted to be
magnificent. There aren’t any women like that now—no more magnificent
women."
He fell silent, to think for a time of his mother, of Polly, of the
clerks in his office, of girls he had danced with, of girls on the
stage, of all his limited feminine acquaintance. Not a vestige of
magnificence!
He was a queer chap, was Eddie. Born of a selfish and frivolous mother
and a morosely indifferent father, neglected, left in the care of
servants of the sort that always collect about an extravagant and
careless mistress, he had never acquired as a matter of course those
ideals which the average boy of his class takes for granted. He had a
perfectly natural inclination toward truth, honour, and justice, and
toward clean living, but he had had to discover these virtues
laboriously, all alone. In consequence, he gave them a sort of perverted
importance. He became somewhat of a prig.
And having with such difficulty discovered his truths, he was inclined
to be a bit domineering and intolerant about them. He was angry and
disappointed at finding any one imperfect.
What is more, he was for the first time in his life finding himself a
person of some importance. Always before he had been under a
disadvantage, always conscious of his "queerness," of having a mother
who was a laughing-stock and a father who was a scandal. He was priggish
and unsociable, but he wasn’t a scholar. He had done very badly in all
the various schools to which he had been sent by fits and starts; and
when at last he had been somehow got into college, he had done still
worse. He had hated his failure there; he had so longed to be popular
and friendly, and had been so markedly neither.
So he had gone into business at nineteen, and he had found himself at
once. He did amazingly well. He had a clever, sympathetic, imaginative
brain, he had good judgment, he knew how to handle his people, how to
deal with men; but at the same time he had not very much common sense.
He was like one of those musical infant prodigies, so shamelessly
exploited by their families. He had this amazing talent for making
money, and the people about him, well aware of his virtue and his
innocence, had known perfectly how to make use of his ability. He was a
cruelly driven slave to his exalted idea of family obligations.
Eddie wasn’t aware of it, however. He was willing to spend all his youth
in acquiring money for other people to spend. He took a sort of pride in
exhausting himself. He was young enough and strong enough to enjoy
affronting his health. It seemed to him a noble thing to support one’s
family. This was one of his pet ideas—ideas which he had got from books
or from other people’s talk, none of which had developed quietly and
wholesomely from childhood, or from experience. His instincts were sound
and admirable. He practically never had a base impulse; but his ideas
were grotesque. He was, in some respects, a fool, and he was treated as
fools must always be treated by the self-seeking.
There was truth in Angelica’s fancy. There was something in this boy
that was what men chose to call kingly—a generosity, a fine force, a
self-forgetfulness, a profound sense of his obligations, even toward
this waif, so recently brought to his attention. He believed it his duty
to help her.
"Why don’t you go into business?" he asked her abruptly.
"Why?"
"I think you’d do well. You seem level-headed. And there’d be some sort
of future in it, instead of pottering about here like an old woman."
"But I don’t like business. I like to be here, with nice people, where I
can learn something."
"That’s quite right, of course; but what will you do—later?"
"Well—I don’t know, exactly. I just think that if I can—sort of
improve myself—some sort of chance will come some day."
She reflected a moment.
"All these magnificent women," she said. "They just kind of waited round
for something to turn up, didn’t they? I mean, they didn’t plan what
they were going to be. I haven’t thought it all out; but I mean to—oh,
to go up all the time, to get to be somebody!"
Eddie, unconscious of his own infantile innocence, smiled at her
naïveness, but admired her.
"I’ll see that you get a chance," he said. "And I’ll help you to learn,
if you like. If you’ll study, I’ll give you what spare time I can."
"All right," said Angelica. "That’ll be fine! Only," she added, "what I
want isn’t exactly things you study out of books. It’s—good manners,
and the right way of talking."
"You’ll pick up all that from Mrs. Geraldine," returned Eddie. "You
couldn’t find a better model. By the way, how did you get on with her
to-day?"
"I guess she liked me. She said she wanted me to stay."
"That’s good!" he cried, very much pleased. "If Polly’ll take an
interest in you, you’ll be absolutely all right. She’s a splendid
woman."
"But she’s so much older than you!" thought Angelica. "It’s so queer!"
"Yes," he went on, "Polly’s one of the best. Of course she’s not herself
now, losing the little chap. He was nearly two years old, and a fine
little fellow. Poor girl! She was wrapped up in him. We all were, for
that matter."
Angelica was puzzled.
"But," she said, "don’t you——”
"Don’t I what?"
"I mean—it must be nearly as bad for you as for her."
"What? Why, there’s no comparison between a son and a nephew."
"For Gawd’s sake! Wasn’t he your son?"
"Of course not! My dear girl, you didn’t think I was Polly’s husband,
did you?"
"Yes, I did," she faltered.
"I’m her brother-in-law. She’s my brother’s wife."
"Oh! She’s a widow, then?"
"No, no, no! He’s alive. He’s here, in this house; but he’s a poet, you
know, and when he’s working he shuts himself up for days at a time. He’s
a queer chap—a regular genius."
"That’s pretty hard on his wife, I should say."
"That’s what the wife of a fellow like Vincent must expect. He is a bit
trying, but you have to make allowances. He’s very remarkable—writes
beautiful stuff."
"I don’t like po’try," said Angelica, who had already taken a dislike to
this brother.
"I’m not very fond of it, either, but I admire it."
"I don’t," she persisted.
"You shouldn’t say that. It’s childish. Every one admires poetry."
She maintained an obstinate silence. Eddie was rather at a loss. He
believed that every one ought to admire poets; he faithfully endeavored
to do so, and had made himself believe that he had succeeded. He felt
that his brother was a genius, accountable to no one, and not to be
blamed for faults which seemed to Eddie peculiarly disgusting and
unmanly; but he didn’t know how to make Angelica admire his brother.
Even the fact of Vincent’s genius was by no means established, and could
not be demonstrated to an outsider, for he had never published anything
yet, nor attempted to do so.
"He’s a very interesting chap," Eddie said. "Very!"
"Well, I’m glad he’s not my husband," said Angelica. "Shutting himself
up like that—wouldn’t suit me!"
Eddie frowned.
"I should think it was a privilege to be the wife of—of a genius."
Again Angelica was silent.
"Of course," said Eddie, "I don’t pretend to understand him. We’ve never
seen much of each other. He lived with my father and I lived with my
mother. He was brought up differently—a Roman Catholic, for one thing;
then he went to an English university for a year or two, and he’s
traveled. Very well-educated chap; altogether different from me. A
scholar, and very artistic."
"What does he do for a living?" Angelica asked.
"He’s just beginning his career," said Eddie. "It is very hard to get
started with that sort of thing."
Angelica’s silence was eloquent.
"Then who’s this feller you call ‘doctor’?" she asked abruptly. "Does he
live here?"
"That’s Dr. Russell, my mother’s second husband."
"Oh, I see! I had you all mixed up. But whose house is this—his?"
"No. It’s mine."
"Yours? Do they all live here with you?"
"Certainly," he said, reddening and frowning. "I want them to. I don’t
want to live alone—no social life."
Poor devil! He was conscious of something ridiculous in his position,
and yet he was proud of it. There weren’t many fellows of his age who
could have done this. It had meant taking fearful risks, of course, and
working without rest, but the worst of it was over now. He was really
prominent in his world; he was a sort of financial prodigy, admired and
watched. He called himself, on his office door, a stock-broker. He was
on the road to becoming a millionaire; he had made up his mind to do it,
and there was nothing to stop him.
"Well," said Angelica, "you’re awful good to them."
Again he frowned. They had both grown suddenly ill at ease, at a loss
for words. Angelica got up.
"Good night!" she said abruptly. It was her way of terminating an
awkward moment.
"Good night!" Eddie answered, rather absent-mindedly.
With her volume of "Magnificent Women" tucked under her arm, Angelica
went back into her own room.
"He’s a fool," she said to herself, "keeping all those people; but there
is something about him. I don’t know—I guess he’s kind of magnificent
himself."
Sharp at ten o’clock the next morning Angelica knocked at Polly’s door.
Her eyes were dancing, she was filled with an exhilarating sense of
mischief, for she had been having breakfast with the doctor, and a
regular rowdy breakfast it had been—the old delightful badinage of the
street and the factory.
When she had come down the dining-room was deserted, and she had
lingered about waiting for any one who might come. Presently, in had
come the dapper little doctor. His face had lighted up marvelously when
he saw her there alone; and he had told her archly that she was welcome
as the flowers in the spring.
"That’s all right!" Angelica had retorted, belligerently. "Never you
mind about me!"
And so the conversation had proceeded, flowery compliments on his side
and a continuous show of resentment on hers—all as it should be.
"You’re a regular old devil!" she had told him. "You ought to be ashamed
of yourself!"
"You’re a devil yourself!" he had answered. "A young devil, and a
dangerous one, too. You could teach me a trick or two, I dare say!"
Then she had thrown a piece of bread at him, and he had sprung up and
smothered her in a napkin, almost upsetting her chair backward, and she
had given his necktie a terrific pull. She did so like this sort of
thing!
She had a familiar and delightful feeling now toward Polly, such as she
had so often felt toward teachers at school and foremen in
factories—that she had something up her sleeve, that she was slyly
outraging authority.
"Come in!" said Polly.
She was still in bed, her breakfast, untouched, on a tray beside her.
She looked stale, broken, weary in body and in spirit, miserably
inferior to the sparkling girl who stood waiting for her orders.
"Good morning! Sit down," she said, politely enough.
She could say nothing further. Weary from a sleepless night, sick with
grief and longing, lonely as a traveler stranded on a desolate shore, it
seemed to her impossible to communicate with any one about her. She
could think of no words that they would comprehend, no answer from them
that would give her any possible solace.
She seemed to Angelica a sallow, listless woman of forty, who persisted
very selfishly in staring out of the window and preserving a tedious
silence. She had no faintest idea of that anguish of a fine and strong
soul.
"Would you mind——” said Polly, suddenly. "There’s a little leather
book in my desk, and a fountain pen. I’d like to write a little."
Angelica jumped up and brought them to her with alacrity. She felt very
obliging this morning.
"Anything else I can do?" she asked cheerfully.
"No, thanks. It’s my diary. It’s just seven weeks ago that my child
died."
She spoke quietly, but her face had assumed an odd, drawn look.
"Oh, Lord!" thought Angelica. "Now I suppose there’ll be a scene. And me
feeling so happy!"
But there was no ‘scene,’ not even a tear. Polly had long ago got past
that consolation. She put down her little book.
"Will you go and ask Mrs. Russell, please, when she wants to use the
car? I think I’ll go out this afternoon."
Angelica sped off, glad to be released from this terrible ennui, and
knocked upon Mrs. Russell’s door. She found her engaged in a surprising
occupation. She was carefully rouging her cheeks—that tough,
weather-beaten, brown skin!
Her hair was carefully dressed, and she wore a handsome embroidered
white linen frock. She was tall and straight, with good shoulders and a
fine, free play of limb. From the back she wasn’t bad, she looked like a
muscular and athletic young woman until she turned and one saw her face.
With the rouge and the blackened eyebrows, it had an indescribably
repulsive look of dissipation; it was as if a man had rouged and
bedecked himself.
"Well!" she said. "How do I look?"
"All right," said Angelica dubiously.
"Tell me frankly if there’s the least thing. I must be very nice to-day.
We’re giving a lunch to a young English woman, a tennis champion, and
I’m on the reception committee. Do I really look nice?"
"Yes," said Angelica, in a still more doubtful tone.
"You don’t think so!" cried Mrs. Russell. "I can see that! But, my dear,
I don’t suppose a woman of my age ever can look very nice."
However, the glance she gave to her reflection in the mirror was quite a
complacent one. She began covering her face with pink powder, while she
talked; and grimacing as she carefully avoided the blackened eyebrows.
"How did you get on with Mrs. Geraldine?" she asked.
"All right; she’s not so bad," said Angelica. "Only sort of dopey."
"‘Dopey’? What’s that?"
Angelica flushed.
"Oh, like people that take dope—morphine and opium and all that."
"But my dear girl, Polly doesn’t——”
"I know. I only said she acted like people that do. It’s just a word
people use about any one that’s quiet and——”
"Mrs. Geraldine’s very reserved—quite different from me. I’m obliged to
say everything that comes into my head. But I dare say her life has made
her like that."
"Why has it? What kind of life has she had?" asked Angelica, with naked
curiosity.
"My dear, you see, she was married before to a perfectly dreadful sort
of man. He drank, and I don’t know what else—absolutely no good at all.
You see, she used to be a concert singer when she was young. It’s very
interesting to hear her tell about her days in Germany, when she studied
there. And then she came back to New York and got an engagement to sing
in one of the first-class restaurants. She really comes from a nice
family—Ohio people—not in society at all, but nice. They weren’t at
all well off, so I suppose they were glad to have her earning her own
living. Anyway, they were away off in Ohio, so they couldn’t have
stopped her very well, could they?"
"No," said Angelica, astounded at the very idea of the melancholy Mrs.
Geraldine singing in a restaurant.
"She must have been quite a pretty girl," Mrs. Russell went on. "I’ve
seen pictures of her. She says she had the most distressing experiences
with men, following her, and so on. She says she was really just about
to give up the restaurant singing when one night this tremendously
handsome man was waiting for her when she came out. She says he was so
different from the usual sort—so gentlemanly, and so on; and he’d
been so impressed with her. My dear, have I too much powder on?"
"Yes, on your forehead. Who was this feller—the handsome one?"
Mrs. Russell stared at her in perplexity. Then she suddenly recollected
the subject of their talk.
"Oh, yes, of course! He told her afterward that he was so much impressed
with her refinement and distinction. I suppose she did look well,
standing up on the platform in a white dress. And her voice is charming.
He walked home with her that night and they were married three weeks
later. Of course, as she says, she didn’t really know him at all; and he
turned out to be perfectly dreadful. She went through the greatest
misery with him. He was killed in an accident; he was in a taxi with
some chorus-girl. I don’t really know much about him; she doesn’t like
to talk about him, but I’ve seen a picture of him. He was handsome,
but coarse, I think. He was quite successful in his business, whatever
it was, but he spent all he made, and only left her a tiny little
income. She made it do, though, she lived so quietly."
Angelica was delighted to get all this information. She leaned against
the doorway in one of her careless, beautiful gamine attitudes, her dark
eyes on Mrs. Russell’s face with an attention that pleased that veteran
gossip.
"She’s a charming woman. Still, I was amazed at Vincent, of all people!
She’s so much older than he—years, and she shows it. Of course, when
they were first married three years ago, she was quite different—much
nicer-looking. Poor soul! She really had a wretched time with Vincent.
He’s frightfully trying. I really think she’s been wonderfully patient
with him. I’ll never forget the day he came into my room and told me he
was married. I couldn’t believe it; he’s so fickle and erratic. I never
expected him to settle down. I don’t suppose he really has. And when I
saw her—simply a plainly dressed woman of thirty-five! Of course, she
has a certain sort of charm about her; she’s restful. I like being
with her—but not all the time. I can’t understand why she clings to me
so. She’s so self-reliant."
How indeed was Mrs. Russell to understand all this? She with her
thistledown heart, her life of infantile amusement-seeking, to
understand the solitude of this woman from a small town, accustomed to
the friendly faces of neighbors, of people who had known her all her
life and were interested in all that concerned her; this woman who had
twice given her love with simplicity and generosity, to have it twice
despised, a wife without a husband, a mother bereft of her child? Polly
hadn’t a soul near her who took the least interest in her, no one to
talk to. That was what made her so silent. She didn’t, she couldn’t
utter flippancies; she longed for one of her own good, earnest, kindly
small-town women, who would wish to listen and know how to console.
And in default of this, then she must have Mrs. Russell, who could at
least talk about her lost child. She could say to her, "Do you remember
this day and that day, this that he said, and how he looked?"
She had loved her child with a passion tiresome to all those about her.
She had been absorbed in him; she had seen in this little boy not alone
her only child, but her only friend, a fellow countryman in a hostile
land. And now he was gone.
"She’s charming," Mrs. Russell repeated; "but I should never have picked
her out for Vincent. She’s not the sort of woman to hold him. He’s so
odd, you know. He always used to say that he’d never marry, and that he
was looking for the perfect woman, whatever he fancied a perfect woman
was. I don’t know what it was he saw in Polly. She’s not beautiful, or
fascinating, as far as I can see. Of course, there’s her voice. It’s
lovely, but still—— He met her at some sort of tea, he told me, and he
said that he was enchanted by the sight of her, sitting there in her
plain dark blue suit, with her hands folded, so quiet and clever, you
know, in comparison with all the other women. I must admit I was
disappointed."
She paused for a few minutes, to rub her big square nails with pink
paste. When she began to talk again, she had unaccountably changed her
point of view. Instead of her bland contempt for Polly, she had,
somehow, within her queer soul developed a great indignation against her
son.
"He has behaved abominably," she said, with a frown. "I can’t understand
him. For days at a time he doesn’t speak to her; doesn’t even see her.
And all for nothing! He took her up in a caprice, and he’s dropped her
in another caprice. Do you know, my dear, all the time their child was
so ill, he wouldn’t see it? He said he could do nothing to help it, and
he couldn’t bear to look at suffering. And at last, when it died, the
thing became so scandalous that Eddie had to go and actually force him
to come into its room. So he came sauntering in, and what do you think
he said? ‘Thank God I really hadn’t had time to grow attached to it
yet.’"
"That was pretty bad," said Angelica. But she was more curious than
shocked; she was eager to hear more about this atrocious Vincent.
"And now," went on Mrs. Russell, "whenever the poor soul begins to
practise, he comes stamping out of his room and shouts down the stairs,
‘Stop! Stop! For God’s sake, stop!’"
"He must be pretty selfish!"
"Selfish! That’s not the word. He squeezes every one dry. He bothered me
a while ago until I sold one of my rings to get money for him; and as
soon as I’d handed him the money he walked out of the room without even
saying, ‘Thank you.’ And when I tried to speak to him, he didn’t even
stop; just called back to me, ‘I’m not in the mood for your conversation
to-day. I couldn’t endure it.’ He’s a devil!"
"A devil!" thought Angelica. "I wish I could get at him! I bet I could
handle him! I’d like to see him, anyway. I’d devil him! And maybe if he
had a wife with more fight in her, more spirit, he’d be different. He’d
be different to me!" her secret heart cried. "No man could ever
neglect or hurt me. No man could ever really win me. I shall be loved,
adored, obeyed, but I shall not give much. I am Angelica, the beautiful,
the proud, the free!"
She was very ready to hear more, but that was not to be. The aggrieved
voice of Courtland, the chauffeur, was heard in the hall.
"Now, then, do you want to be late?" he called. That reminded Angelica
of her errand.
"Oh! Mrs. Geraldine said to ask you when did you want to use the car.
She thought she’d go out."
Mrs. Russell stared at her in distress.
"Oh, pshaw! I never imagined she’d want it. Tell her, please, I’ll send
Courtland back with it in an hour."
"I don’t think!" said Courtland. "She better not hold her breath
waiting."
Even Angelica was aware that this was not the proper way for a chauffeur
to address his lady. She was surprised that he wasn’t rebuked. She
looked at him with an indignant glance, which he returned with one of
the greatest scorn.
"Wait in the car, Courtland," was all that Mrs. Russell said. "I’ll be
down directly."
"He’s a nice boy," she told Angelica, after he had gone. "I think a
great deal of him. I’m sorry for him. He’s very bright and intelligent,
but he hasn’t had any opportunities."
"He’s mighty fresh," said Angelica.
"You mean disrespectful? I know it; but it seems to me that in this
country, you know—a republic—we should expect that sort of thing.
We’re all more or less equals, I suppose, aren’t we?"
Angelica said yes; but she didn’t think so, and she knew that Mrs.
Russell didn’t think so. A game of exploitation, simply but in a country
where every one had the pleasing possibility of becoming one of the
exploiters.
Angelica went back to Polly with the message.
"She says she’ll send back the car in an hour."
"Then I think I’ll get up and dress," said Polly. "We’ll run into the
city for lunch. Do you know, I feel better! I think you’re doing me
good."
She really believed so; it seemed to her that the fierce and careless
vitality of this girl charged all the atmosphere, penetrated and
invigorated even her jaded and sorrowful heart. It was not the sort of
vitality that fatigues and irritates, like the ceaseless activities of a
little child. Angelica was quiet, for the most part; she didn’t speak
much, she sat quietly in her chair, with the sort of cool steadiness
that one notices in cats. When you spoke to her, it required no effort
for her to attend, to concentrate her thought on you; at once her dark
face was alert, her ready mind in action.
With Polly—although she wasn’t aware of it—her manner was exactly what
was needed. She was generally quite indifferent, thinking her own
thoughts, absorbed in her own affairs; but she was instantly willing to
perform any service, or to talk, or to listen.
"Mr. Eddie spoke to me about you," Polly went on. "I have a very high
opinion of his judgment, and he seems to think you’re just the person
for me."
Angelica was delighted.
"Well," she said, in her pitifully ungracious way, "it’s kind o’ hard,
not knowing your ways or anything; but I guess I’ll be useful."
Polly smiled.
"Help me to get ready, won’t you? I haven’t been out for such a long
time; and the doctor seems to think I should."
"This doctor, is it? Her husband?"
"Oh, no! He’s not exactly a doctor. He invented a patent medicine,
called Dr. Russell’s Old-Time Rejuvenator. That’s why they call him
doctor."
"I see! But those things are mostly fakes, aren’t they?"
Polly didn’t answer.
Angelica enjoyed helping her to dress. She liked to open bureau drawers
and wardrobes and see the well-ordered and dainty things, all faintly
fragrant. She liked fetching the silk stockings, the fine little
handkerchiefs, the gloves, all the accessories of a woman of excellent
taste and a decent income. Very plain, Polly’s things were, but with a
most refined and fastidious plainness. Angelica, seeing and handling
them, gained a quite new idea of a lady’s requirements.
"And there we sat," she told her mother later, "all the morning, like a
couple of fools, waiting for the car. It got to be lunch-time, and still
it hadn’t showed up. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her, waiting
there with her hat on and all. ‘I guess she’s decided to keep her
automobile for herself to-day,’ I said. ‘It isn’t hers,’ she said. ‘It’s
Mr. Eddie’s, for us both to use.’ He’s a generous feller, I think."
The excursion was given up. They had lunch down-stairs together, and in
the afternoon they went out for a little walk—a tiresome walk for them
both. Polly said scarcely a word. Angelica believed her to be angry, and
at five o’clock, when at length the motor came back, with Mrs. Russell
in it, she looked forward to a row.
She received another lesson, for Polly said nothing. She had tea in the
library with her mother-in-law, and she was as agreeable and polite as
if nothing at all had occurred to vex her.
At first this conduct appeared to Angelica cowardly and shockingly
hypocritical; but as she watched Polly, she changed her opinion. No, it
wasn’t hypocrisy; she didn’t pretend to be pleased and friendly. Her
attitude said to Mrs. Russell, in effect:
"Do as you please. You can’t annoy me. I remain absolutely undisturbed."
And as Angelica observed them, first to see how tea was to be drunk, and
later to ponder, a new idea struggled to life in her mind. It began to
dawn upon her that there were grades among ladies, and varieties. Mrs.
Russell was a lady, and Mrs. Geraldine was a lady; but they were of
quite different sorts, and Polly’s sort was the better.
So there wasn’t simply a set of rules to follow, or a definite standard
to attain. There wasn’t even one absolutely correct manner. How was one
to learn? How was one to imitate?
"My Gawd!" she reflected. "There’s more to this than I thought!"
Perhaps, if Polly had imagined that she was serving as a model, or even
that she was being shrewdly observed by Angelica, she would not have
done what she did. She would have maintained the aristocratic
imperturbability that had so impressed her companion, and she would have
concealed her malice. For Polly had malice—that agreeable feminine
malice, so much more attractive than a forgiving heart. She had a quiet
relish for vengeance, and a long, long memory for affronts.
For three years there had been war between herself and her
mother-in-law, in which Polly had had to struggle desperately to avoid
extermination. The ruthless selfishness of Mrs. Russell would have
destroyed her, would have made her an instrument to serve her in her
pleasure-hunt. She was not to be reasoned with, she was too heedless and
indifferent to weigh consequences, too insolent to be hurt by defeat,
too slippery for any sort of compromise. Polly had adopted a policy of
implacability toward her. She let nothing slip, forgave nothing, forgot
nothing.
They were all at the dinner-table that evening—Eddie in evening dress,
and the doctor also, in order to please his punctilious and severe
son-in-law. Polly was an altogether pleasant object for contemplation in
a brown voile frock, while Mrs. Russell had come forth in an astounding
thing of orange and blue. It was shockingly expensive, very unbecoming,
and badly put on. Taken with her straggling hair and a pair of dusty and
shapeless black velvet slippers, it formed an exterior not likely to
enlist her son’s support in the coming encounter.
"Eddie!" said Polly. "What was that man’s name—the one we had for the
day when the car was broken? Do you remember? He was such a good,
careful driver, and his car was so nice and clean!"
"Why do you want to know?" asked Eddie suspiciously.
"I thought to-day I should have liked to get him."
"What’s the matter with Courtland and your own car?" Eddie persisted
sharply.
"But it’s not my own car, Eddie."
"Where was it?"
"It was in use. I can’t expect to have it all the time," she said
sweetly.
"You haven’t been out for seven or eight weeks, have you?" he demanded.
"No; but still——”
"That’s not exactly ‘all the time’!" His face had flushed. "Did you have
the car, mother?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered with perfect indifference.
"Now look here!" he said. "Can’t you arrange better? Can’t you talk with
Polly in the morning and find out what she intends to do?"
"Oh, Eddie, it doesn’t matter!" cried Polly in distress.
Eddie saw the distress and grew more angry. Angelica saw it also, and
understood it.
"It seems to me," he said, "that when Polly goes out so seldom, she
might have the benefit of her own car. She’s not well—you must remember
that."
Mrs. Russell was smiling her mechanical smile.
"She shall have the car," she said, "whenever she wants it. If I’d known
to-day, I shouldn’t have taken it."
"I meant to ask Angelica to ask you," said Polly.
"I did ask her, too," said Angelica.
"No," said Mrs. Russell, still smiling. "You didn’t. You forgot, I
suppose."
"Were you out in it all day, then?" demanded Eddie.
"My dear boy, I was. And now, if you please, we won’t have any more of
this. You can do your scolding in private. Polly shall have the car all
the time. Tommy!" she said, turning to her husband. "Who do you think I
had lunch with at the Country Club but Horace and Julie Naylor? Poor
Horace! She is such a dreadful, vulgar little minx! And yet she’s so
amusing. I must have her down here again."
"Not when I’m home," said Eddie. "I think she’s disgusting."
"Pretty little woman, though," said the doctor.
"Plenty of them!" said Eddie.
Mrs. Russell had got away from the subject of the motor-car, and rested
satisfied. It was a question with Angelica whether, after all, she
hadn’t triumphed. It was a drawn battle, at the best.
But before the evening was over the combatants were obliged to forget
their hostility and to ally themselves against their common tyrant. All
very well for them to quarrel together, but they didn’t forget that
Eddie was the source of all good, and that, to placate him, all private
feuds must be ignored.
They were still sitting at the table when a telegram arrived, which
Eddie opened and read with a frown.
"Confound it!" he said. "Here’s a nice row! Vincent’s getting a bit
too bad. This really puts me in a very awkward position. I gave him a
letter to give to a man, and apparently he never did. I’ll have to get
hold of him now, and find out what he did do with it."
He rose from the table, and so did Polly and Mrs. Russell.
"What’s the matter?" cried Polly, with an anxiety that seemed to
Angelica extreme. "What has Vincent done?"
"I gave him a letter to deliver to a man who was leaving for San
Francisco—an important letter; and now the fellow telegraphs that he’s
reached there, and that the letter hasn’t reached him yet. He should
have got it a week ago, before he left.
"But don’t bother Vincent to-night!" implored his mother. "You can’t do
anything now. Wait till morning!"
"Why shouldn’t I bother him? He’s bothered me enough! I’m not going to
humour him in this damn fool idea of shutting himself up like a——
He’ll have to behave like a human being!"
Polly laid a soothing hand on his arm.
"Do wait till the morning, Eddie," she said. "You know it’s at night
that he does his best work, and it seems a pity to disturb him."
"What about it’s being a pity to disturb me while I’m eating my dinner,
to try and rectify one of his beastly, inexcusable blunders? No, by
Jove, I’m entitled to some consideration! He’s got to come out and
tell me what he did."
"Do wait!" cried Polly.
He looked at her in anger and distress.
"Don’t you understand?" he demanded. "It’s important. I’ve got to find
out what he’s done with my letter. I’ve got to know at once—even," he
added with irony, "at the risk of disturbing Vincent. I haven’t seen him
for three days."
"Oh, do wait!" cried Mrs. Russell.
"I won’t!" he answered.
Striding out of the room, he began to run up-stairs. To Angelica’s great
amusement, the two women followed him. She followed, too, of course.
"Oh, Eddie!" implored Mrs. Russell. "Don’t be so headstrong! Wait! I’m
sure he’s asleep."
"He can wake up, then. It’s only eight o’clock."
"Or maybe he’s working, and if you interrupt him he’ll be so vexed!"
"He vexed!" cried Eddie, outraged. "It seems to me that I’m the one to
be vexed!"
Proceeding at once to his brother’s room, he knocked at the door,
waited, and then knocked again.
"Vincent!" he called. "Open the door! I want to speak to you!"
He knocked louder and louder. Polly again touched his arm.
"Eddie!" she said, in a low voice. "You’re making a dreadful noise. Why
don’t you wait? To please me!"
"It can’t really matter," said Mrs. Russell. "You couldn’t really do
much at this time of night."
"No," said Eddie. "I could have waited, but now I won’t. There’s
something damned queer about it. He can’t help hearing this row."
"But you know how peculiar he is," said Mrs. Russell. "He wouldn’t
answer if he didn’t feel like it."
"I’ll make him. I won’t put up with this!"
He had turned away and was starting down-stairs.
"Where are you going?" called his mother.
"I’m going to get Courtland, to help me break in the door!"
Mrs. Russell drew near Polly.
"What do you think we’d better do?" she whispered.
"I don’t know," Polly answered in distress. "Even if he would wait till
the morning, I don’t see just what we could do. Perhaps we’d better——”
Mrs. Russell nodded.
Eddie returned promptly, bringing with him the blond young chauffeur,
pleased and alert.
"Which door?" he asked. "This? All right! Now, then, all together!
One——”
"No!" cried Mrs. Russell. "No, Eddie. Wait a minute!"
He did wait, but impatiently, while she hesitated. Finally she said to
him in a half whisper:
"Eddie, he’s not there!"
"Not there?" he shouted.
"Do hush! No; he’s been away for three days."
"Why the devil didn’t you tell me?"
"Because I didn’t want to upset you."
"Did Polly know?"
"Yes; she——”
"And you both stood there and let me make a fool of myself?"
"I couldn’t bear to upset you, Eddie, and neither could Polly."
"And you let me knock and call and bring up Courtland. Oh, by Jove, it’s
too much!"
"I’m very sorry," said Polly gently.
Eddie didn’t even look at her.
"I’m sick of this!" he cried. "Sick of being made a fool of like this.
It’s always the way in this house; every hand’s against me. Nothing but
deceit and trickery!"
"Eddie!" said Polly firmly. "You forget yourself!"
The poor chap, recalled by her tone to his standard of propriety—the
very fount of his exploitation—became a little quieter.
"No," he said, "I don’t. Where did he go?"
"To New York," said Mrs. Russell. "He had a bag with him. Courtland
drove him in."
Eddie turned suddenly upon Courtland.
"Why didn’t you tell me he wasn’t there?" he demanded.
"How did I know he hadn’t come back?" retorted Courtland, smartly.
"Where did you leave him?"
"Corner of Broadway and Forty-Second Street," said Courtland, and, with
his unquenchable impudence, he added: "But you won’t find him there
now!"
"That’ll do," said Eddie. "You can go. And don’t gossip about this."
Courtland wheeled about briskly and began, quite leisurely to descend
the stairs, whistling cheerfully and loudly before he was well out of
sight. Eddie did not even appear irritated. He had turned toward the two
ladies of his household with an ominous look in his blue eyes.
Eddie was incredibly generous, he was kind-hearted and more or less
sympathetic, but he had in him, all the same, the making of a
first-class domestic tyrant. He desired, almost morbidly, to be
respected, and he was ready to force respect by bullying, if necessary.
He knew what every one else knows, moral precepts to the contrary
notwithstanding—that the bully is almost universally respected.
Like all domestic tyrants, he was shamelessly deceived and "managed" by
the women of his establishment. They managed him clumsily. Neither of
them had learned what the doctor had learned at once—that Eddie could
be manipulated with ridiculous ease by the employment of either of two
means. One was to appeal to his sense of justice; the other was
deferentially to ask his advice.
He liked to argue, to discuss, to weigh, to do finally, not without
pompousness, whatever he saw to be right; but the women never addressed
this vulnerable side. They treated him still as if he were a primitive
man, to be coaxed, hoodwinked, pampered, in spite of the fact that he
was not primitive in any way. He got along splendidly in his office,
because there it was acknowledged unanimously that he was not to be
diddled, that he was no fool; but at home he was always treated as if he
were a fool, and a slightly dangerous one. That is, of course, the
accepted attitude toward any master of any house, but it is not always
the most effective.
His anger began to ebb away as he looked at them, and a profound
dejection to take its place.
"It’s no use," he said. "No earthly use! I do the best I can—for the
entire family—to keep things as decent as possible; but I can’t. I get
no help. I can’t do it alone!"
"But Eddie, my dear boy!" said Polly. "It was only to spare your
feelings."
He shook his head.
"It wasn’t. You have some reason which I’ll never know. I’m not blaming
you, Polly. I know you do what you think is best; but if you’d only be
honest, regardless of what might happen!"
He stopped, for he had caught Angelica’s eye. He stopped, and his
startled and arrested look said, almost as plainly as words:
"I believe you to be honest!"
He was as much surprised as if she had but that instant appeared.
Indeed, one might quite truly say that he had never before seen her. She
looked so hardy, so bold, so independent, in all ways so different from
the two other women who had just humiliated him. He felt a new and
sudden interest in her.
Angelica was consumed, devoured, by curiosity. She felt obliged to know
more of this family—of Vincent, above all. So the next morning she got
up very early, went down into the kitchen regions, and sought out a
snub-nosed maid who had seemed disposed to be friendly when they had
passed each other in the hall.
The girl wasn’t busy. She was sitting on the back steps, enjoying the
fresh morning; and as soon as she saw Angelica she moved over,
hospitably, to make a place for her.
"Sit down," she said. "It’s a nice day, isn’t it?"
Angelica did sit down, and for a time was silent, looking before her
across lawns as smooth and empty as those at the front of the house.
Nothing at all back-doorish about the outlook; the same air of
prosperous peace; in the distance other houses among their lawns, and
well-trimmed trees, and overhead a lovely May morning sky.
"Yes," she said, "it’s certainly a nice day."
She fell silent again, trying to arrange an opening for her questions;
but the snub-nosed maid spared her the trouble.
"Well!" she said. "How do you like it up-stairs?"
Angelica at once perceived that the other girl was curious.
"Oh-h-h!" she said slowly. "I suppose it’s all right."
Another silence, during which they appraised each other according to
their tradition. A mutual confidence was born.
"They’re a queer bunch," said the girl. "I never saw the like; and I’ve
been with seven families, too."
Here she courteously gave Angelica a brief history of her life and
condition. Her name was Annie McCall, born in Scotland, but brought up
in America, a member of the Plymouth Brethren, twenty-seven, and engaged
to be married. She was extremely severe in her views, which were often
similar to Angelica’s, especially in regard to the immoralities of the
rich. There was this difference, though—Annie was confident that she
knew everything, and was infallibly right, while Angelica was anxious to
learn.
"If it wasn’t that I was going to be married," said Annie, "and saving
every penny, I’d leave. The way they carry on! I never saw the like!"
"Do they carry on?" inquired Angelica, delighted.
Hadn’t she always known that rich people carried on? Wasn’t she just in
a paradise of the romantic, where the rich were bad, and the poor,
represented by herself and the terribly respectable Annie McCall, were
good?
"That Mrs. Russell’s the worst of them all," said Annie. "The bold,
brazen thing she is, with her breeches and her smoking, and her cursing.
You’d ought to hear her curse!"
"She’s queer," said Angelica reflectively.
"Queer!" cried Annie. "Well, I’d call it more than queer! She’s——”
She stopped a moment. "She’s bad," she said.
"Oh! Bad! How?"
"I don’t like to be spreading scandal," said Annie, who always believed
the worst. "It’s not my nature, only that you’ll be working up-stairs
right with her, and you being so young, it’s only right you should be
told. As soon as ever I set eyes on you, I said to myself you’d ought to
be warned. I could see you weren’t used to such people. You never worked
out before, did you?"
"No," Angelica answered.
It was of no use to resent the ‘working out,’ or to tell Annie that she
was a ‘companion,’ because Annie knew very well what her place was.
Angelica’s eating with the family couldn’t deceive her. They were both
servants, and Annie was the better-paid and more respected of the two.
Angelica could not honestly consider herself in any way superior, except
in appearance. Annie spoke rather better than she did, and had had more
schooling; she admitted to money in two savings-banks, and she was
engaged to be married. So Angelica submitted to a temporary equality,
feeling morally sure, however, that the future would see her elevated
immeasurably above Annie.
"How is she bad?" she inquired eagerly.
"She’s a divorced woman," said Annie. "She divorced her first husband,
Mr. Geraldine, and I’ve heard that he was a very nice man—much better
than Dr. Russell, I dare say; too good for her, very likely. Anyway, I
never heard any good of a divorced woman."
"But what does she do?" Angelica demanded, rather impatiently.
"You wouldn’t believe it, but she’s carrying on with that chauffeur."
"My Gawd!" said Angelica. "Is she really?"
"It’s the worst I’ve ever heard of. Would you believe it? She’s teaching
him to play golf. They go out in the country somewhere, where they’re
not known. She’s bought him a bag of clubs, and he goes around showing
it to all the chauffeurs, and telling them I don’t know what. He’s a
liar, and I wouldn’t believe a word he said, but still—well, when you
hear a thing right and left—and there’s those clubs and all, and they
cost a terrible lot—you can’t help but think she’s a regular bad
woman."
But Angelica did help thinking so. She didn’t believe that Mrs. Russell
was that sort of bad woman, and the longer she knew her the more
convinced she became of her perfect goodness in this one respect.
Capable of the most outrageous follies, selfish, hard as flint, quite
without scruples in the pursuit of her own liberty and pleasure, she
was, however, not interested in men. Angelica said nothing, though, for
she had no proofs or surmises to bring forward, nothing but her own
instinct.
Annie continued.
"No, I can’t help thinking so. I’m no fool. I’ve seen a lot—you do,
working out. It’s a pity, too, on account of Mr. Eddie. He’s a nice
young man, and he works himself sick for the lot of them. No one doing a
stroke of work but him!"
"Don’t that doctor work?"
"Dr. Russell? He’s a regular old grafter, that’s what he is."
"I saw him putting cigars in his pocket," said Angelica.
"I’ve seen worse than that. I’ve seen him going through her bureau
drawers, and taking anything he has a fancy for. He’ll come down with a
flask, fill it with anything that’s left in the decanters, and take it
up-stairs and drink until he falls asleep on the floor. They say it’s
terrible bad to drink things all mixed together like that."
"Does he know about her carrying on?"
"He don’t care, so long as he’s got a good home and a little money to
spend. I never saw such people in all my life! And they never have any
decent company. Mrs. Geraldine——”
"Why do they call her Mrs. Geraldine?"
"Because that’s her name," said Annie, surprised. "That used to be Mrs.
Russell’s name. It’s Mr. Eddie’s and Mr. Vincent’s name. Didn’t you
know?"
"It’s a queer name," Angelica remarked thoughtfully. "I thought it was
her first name."
Nothing in the universe seemed specially queer to Annie.
"Well, as I was saying, Mrs. Geraldine, she hasn’t any friends, except
out West, and Mr. Eddie, he hasn’t got any time to make any, and there’s
no one ever comes here but her lot from that country club—a lot of
swearing, drinking, smoking men and women. She fills the house with
them, and then Mr. Eddie’ll make a great row and say he won’t put up
with them, and then she’ll smile, that superior way, and say, ‘Very
well, Eddie, it’s your house!’ Then, when she thinks he’s kind of
forgotten, she’ll have them in again."
"But what’s the other feller like?" asked Angelica.
"Him!" cried Annie. "Why!" she was at a loss for words to express what
she felt. "He’s——” She hesitated. "He’s crazy, and downright wicked.
They call him religious. Sacrilegious, I call it. Every once in a while
he’ll get a fit of feeling sorry for his wickedness, and he’ll be
moaning and groaning about his soul, and working himself up to write his
religious poems. Why," she cried, "it’s as different from the real
repentance of a sinner, such as I’ve seen many and many a time in our
meetings, as can be. He’s never seen the light, and he never will. He’s
lost!"
"What does he do that’s wicked?" asked Angelica, avid for details of
rich people’s sins.
"Everything—drink and women and blasphemy. Why, right now he’s gone off
with a girl. Courtland saw him meet her."
But no further questions on the part of Angelica could elicit any more
details. Annie didn’t want to talk about him; he was what she called a
hardened sinner, and she considered him best ignored. She began to talk
of Polly.
"She’s the best of the lot," she said. "She’s a real lady. She’s
reasonable. She’ll never ask you for all sorts of outlandish things, all
hours of the day and night, like the other one. She’s stingy, I must
confess; she never gives you a penny, nor even an old dress or a hat;
but at least she’s nice and polite. I’m sorry for her, too, losing that
little boy. He was a sweet little thing, even if——”
The cook appeared on the porch—an untidy, bedraggled old Irishwoman.
"Come in, the two of ye!" she said. "Let your friend come in and eat a
bite with us, Annie, if she’s not too proud."
"You might as well," said Annie. "They won’t be eating for another half
an hour, and we’ve got just as good as they have."
"Better," said the cook. "You can trust me for that, Annie McCall!"
They went, not into the kitchen, as Angelica had expected, but into a
nice little dining-room, to a meal served and eaten with decorum and
propriety, a table daintily laid, and a breakfast beyond cavil—coffee
with cream, beefsteak, cold ham, new-laid eggs, hot rolls, corn-bread,
jams and marmalades, and a fine bowl of fruit.
The cook sat down behind the coffee-pot, with Angelica beside her.
Presently in came the chambermaid, the German laundress, and a mild
little thing known as the "second girl"; and, at last, swaggering, in
his shirt-sleeves, Courtland the chauffeur.
His eye fell at once upon Angelica.
"Hello!" he said. "What’s the matter? Did they kick you out up-stairs?"
"They sent me down to see how you behaved yourself," she answered,
promptly.
She was quite able to hold her own with this young bully, and though her
manner was too free and easy to suit Annie, the others were
delighted—especially the cook.
"Now will ye be good?" she would cry to the worsted Courtland. "Now
you’ve met your match, me lad!"
Angelica enjoyed all this beyond measure. This homely simplicity,
combined with the greatest comfort, this atmosphere in which she lost
her painful consciousness of inferiority, in which she was among equals
and able to breathe freely, invigorated and satisfied her. She grew more
and more assured, her sallies more and more outrageous, in a violent
badinage that continued until the bell rang and Annie ran off up-stairs.
She returned to tell Courtland that he was wanted in fifteen minutes.
"Oh, Gawd!" he groaned. "It’s a tennis tournament to-day. Me sitting out
in a blame country road in the hot sun all the afternoon. My Lawd! Don’t
I wish that old fool’d learn enough to stay home, or go to the city, to
the theayters and stores!"
"And giff you de chance to see your schweetheart?" asked the laundress,
coyly.
"Which one?" he demanded, boldly.
"Ye’ll need a lot of thim," said the cook. "For there’s no one girl
could put up with ye long. Why are ye not playing your golf to-day, me
lord?"
"She makes me sick!" he answered, angrily. "There she goes and gets me
interested in the game and all, and then she drops it. Why, you know,
she promised me at the start she’d train me good and I could go in a
tournament. She said she’d introduce me as a friend of hers. She said I
was built to be a first-class player, and maybe I’d get to be a
perfessional."
"Don’t believe everything she’ll be telling you!" said the cook.
"Damn old fool!" he muttered.
Annie reproved him.
"You’ve got no right to speak like that about a lady," she said.
"Shut up!" he said briefly.
"Go along with you!" cried the cook. "She’ll be waiting."
"Leave her wait! She makes me wait enough. If she don’t like waiting for
me, leave her say so. I can get plenty of jobs—better than this one,
too. I don’t have to put up with nothing from her!"
It was only half-past eight, and Angelica didn’t know what to do with
herself. She was in a rebellious and malicious mood; she had been fired
by Courtland’s attitude, and she, too, wished to keep some rich person
waiting. It was the attitude which is the despair of employers—the
spirit in which the young workman comes sauntering in, insolently late,
not because he wishes to lose his job or because he is, as they put it,
looking for trouble, but because, for this one day, this one hour, he
must assert himself, must be a man, must delude himself that he is not
inferior, not helpless, not driven.
So Angelica, this morning, was ready to assert that servants were in all
ways better than those they served, that poor people were all good and
rich ones all bad. She felt a warm glow of friendliness toward the
subordinate class, and a profound hostility toward their oppressors. She
wanted to swagger about it, to tell Mrs. Russell, loudly, that those
jolly, comprehensible people in the kitchen were vastly superior to her
in every respect.
She went defiantly about the lower floor, into the library, into the
breakfast-room, where the remains of Mr. Eddie’s meal still stood, into
the music-room, even into the august drawing-room, where she had never
before set foot.
"I don’t care!" she said. "If they don’t like it, they can tell me!"
But she met no one. Thwarted of a victim, she went out upon the veranda
and sat down in a rocking-chair, facing the prospect already so
monotonous to her—the neat, smooth lawns, the orderly trees, the
dignified houses.
"Makes me sick!" she said, aloud. "Nothing to look at—nothing to do!"
Suddenly her chair was tilted back and a hand laid over her eyes—a
soft, cool hand. She pushed at it, roughly, and it was lifted, and she
saw bending over her the bland, smiling face of the doctor. He was in
flannels, well cut, quite correct, but with an air obnoxiously dapper.
His white head was bare, and he wore a flower in his coat.
"You let me alone!" said Angelica.
"I can’t!"
"I guess you can!" she observed grimly.
"But you’re so pretty! You’ve no business to be so pretty."
"I dare say I’ll get over that in the course of time."
"Seriously," he said, "I don’t think I’ve ever seen finer eyes. Have you
ever thought of going on the stage? And as far as I can judge, you have
a beautiful figure. Of course I don’t know——”
"None of that now!" she cried, flushing angrily. "Get away from the back
of my chair. I don’t want you hanging around me, anyway."
"You’re very hard," he said. "Very! Don’t you like me, Miss Angelica?"
"Not much."
"But why?"
"Go and look in the glass, grandpa," she answered.
He reddened.
"I suppose I do seem old—in your eyes," he said; "but after all, it’s
only a question of how you feel; and I feel as young as you do. It
takes a man of experience and maturity to appreciate a woman. Boys can’t
understand, but a man of my age has learned how a woman likes to be
treated."
"Well, he’s learned too late, then," said Angelica. "They’ll never give
him a chance to show off what he knows."
"Oh, yes, they do," he retorted, preening himself. "I could tell you of
more than one little girl who doesn’t think I’m too old. You, too, when
you know me better, you’ll find me just as——”
"Now, look here, grandpa," said Angelica. "What are you leading up to?
Because if you think you can get fresh with me, you’ve made a big
mistake. Guess again, grandpa!"
"Don’t call me that!" he protested. "It’s vulgar."
She looked at him scornfully, then turned her back upon him and once
more regarded the tiresome view. The doctor, after a glance at her
severe profile, gave up his attempt and changed his attitude. He sat
down jauntily astride of a chair and began joking. She never tired of
that, and although he did, although he grew painfully weary of this
rough and silly jesting, he was compensated by the sight of her
brilliant face.
But inevitably he began to grow bolder again.
"My dear, your shoe’s untied!" he said suddenly.
He threw himself on his knees before her and clasped her ankle in his
hand. She gave him a vigorous push with her foot that sent him rolling
over backward, knocking his white head against a chair. She laughed
immoderately, with abandon, all the more because he was so furious, her
head thrown back, her eyes closed.
And it was just at this minute that Eddie came out, to see his
father-in-law struggling to his feet, while Angelica shrieked with
laughter.
"What’s this?" he demanded severely.
No one answered, but Angelica’s mirth was checked.
"What has happened?" he asked again, with still greater displeasure.
"I slipped," said the doctor. "Where’s your mother, my boy?"
This was an attempt to disarm Eddie by reminding him that the doctor was
his mother’s husband, and therefore venerable; but it was not
successful. He received no reply, and went sauntering off with
exaggerated jauntiness, watched by Eddie till he was out of sight.
Then Eddie turned to Angelica.
"I’m sorry," he said gravely.
"Oh, it don’t matter!" she answered. "I can take care of myself all
right."
"I wasn’t apologizing for my father-in-law’s conduct. I meant I was
sorry that you——”
"Me?" she cried, indignantly. "I didn’t do anything!"
"I hate to think of you stooping to this sort of thing—this silly
vulgarity. It isn’t like you. It isn’t worthy of you!"
The former factory girl, with her long memory of scenes so much more
vulgar and silly than this—of faces slapped and insults replied to with
most forcible language—stared, astounded, at Eddie, at his displeased
and disappointed face.
"You ought to be more dignified," he said. "You say you want to improve
yourself. Then, in that case, this sort of thing——”
She really had seen nothing reprehensible in her conduct, nothing to be
censured. She knew, of course, that a girl in her situation mustn’t
spend her time in "fooling" with the men of the household; but to
disapprove it on high moral grounds ...!
However, the word "dignified" gave her a clue. It was those magnificent
women he had in mind! She was falling short of their standard, and
therefore disappointing Eddie. She wasn’t being magnificent.
She looked up at him.
"I see!" she said thoughtfully. "All right! I’ll try!"
"That’s right," he said. "I knew—if it were pointed out to you—that
that sort of thing is so out of keeping with your character——”
"With your face," he meant. He meant, without being aware of it, that
any sort of coarseness in a girl so lovely and desirable was a shocking
offense to him.
Angelica left him, inspired by the loftiest thoughts. She was resolved
to redeem this day begun so inauspiciously, breakfasting with the
servants, knocking over the white-haired doctor. She pictured a new
Angelica, stately and aloof.
"He does me good—that feller!" she reflected.
It now became the aim of Angelica’s life to satisfy Eddie. She felt that
his standard was the right one, however painfully high it might be, and
that he was genuinely concerned with helping her to attain it. And she
felt that, in spite of his youthfulness and his somewhat grandiloquent
air, he was a remarkable and an admirable man.
The more she saw of him, the more she admired him. She was a shrewd
enough observer, yet she never detected in him a single lapse from his
own rigid principles. What he set out to do, he did; what he determined
to be, he was. She had not knowledge or experience enough to see that he
was ignorant, crude, and childlike; she could see only his force, his
strength of will, the earnestness of his ambition, and his complete
ingenuousness.
He went directly to Polly. He told her that Angelica was ambitious, and
that he wished to help her.
"So any evenings that you don’t need her," he said, "she can come to me
and study. I’ll look out some books for her."
Polly smiled and agreed.
"It’s another of poor Eddie’s Utopian schemes," she said to her
mother-in-law. "I don’t know what he expects to accomplish with the
girl."
"I only hope she won’t accomplish anything!" said Mrs. Russell. "She’s
very pretty, and Eddie’s so susceptible. Of course, he thinks it’s a sin
to think of a girl as a girl, but still——”
They didn’t at all like this educational project, but Mrs. Russell was
too careless and Polly too sensible to interfere. Besides which, it
didn’t look really alarming. Eddie was not the sort—it would have been
impossible to Eddie—to contemplate illicit relations with Angelica, and
with his extreme propriety he was certainly not likely to consider
marrying her. It was simply an annoyance to have her thus exalted. They
were irritated and somewhat contemptuous, but they said nothing. They
took care never to discuss Eddie in her presence.
It was a recognized fact that she and Eddie were allies. They were oddly
alike in many ways. They had the same sort of careless austerity;
neither of them cared whether a chair were comfortable or not, the soup
hot or cold, the weather propitious; they disdained fatigue, were ready
to work all day and all night to achieve an object, and had a fierce and
driving ambition for power and distinction. But Angelica was coarser and
stronger, while Eddie was more sensitive and very much more scrupulous.
He was ruled by ideas, she was ruled by her vigorous impulses.
Polly very rarely wanted Angelica in the evening, and Mrs. Russell dared
not summon her, so that it became quite a usual thing for her to go
up-stairs with Eddie directly after dinner and settle down with some
valuable book of his selection. He didn’t make any attempt really to
teach her; she could as well have sat in her own room to read, but that
would have entirely destroyed the character of the thing for Eddie. She
must be sitting there, under his eye, docile, earnest, his pupil.
Sometimes he worked, sometimes he was himself engaged with one of his
instructive books, which he bought in sets; but whatever it was, he very
rarely spoke to her. He maintained his pose of imperturbability, which
she knew well enough to be only a pose.
It didn’t take her long to see how it was with him. She understood that
sort of thing so well! She saw how drawn he was to her, how she stirred
his ardent blood; and she rejoiced and brought out all her tricks to
torment him. When she wanted something explained, she would bring her
book to him and stand beside him, leaning against him, bending over so
that her hair brushed his cheek. She had attitudes that were poems of
allurement; there were certain tones in her voice, certain little
gestures, which she saw enthralled and disturbed and shocked him.
"She doesn’t know what she’s doing!" he would think.
Well, she didn’t exactly. She was well enough aware of the effect of her
naughty wiles upon him, and upon other men; but she had never
experienced the thing herself, never yet been transfixed by a dart such
as she delighted to shoot. At first she was proud and gleeful; but after
she had seen his painful effort to retain his dignity—his majesty, one
might say—undisturbed, she felt a sort of respectful pity for him, and
desisted.
She had no illusions; she didn’t fancy that his inclination toward her
was love; she never dreamed of marrying him, and she understood him and
herself too well even to contemplate any other sort of alliance. She
ceased her tricks, became honest and sober with him, and sat at his feet
to learn what she could. The knowledge that she was desirable in his
eyes did good to Angelica, for it gave her more confidence, more hope of
attaining ultimate magnificence. She showed him her natural self,
inquisitive, eager, strong, ready for any sacrifice, any denial, that
might help her in her progress, a nature at once ardent and calculating,
a cool, shrewd, subtle Italian mind.
As for herself, she wasn’t in the slightest degree attracted by Eddie.
She admired him and respected him, she felt a warm friendliness toward
him, but no smallest trace of love or desire. It wasn’t possible; he
wasn’t the man for her; he wasn’t her sort.
In contrast, and running parallel with this life of effort and progress
under Eddie’s direction, ran the other existence, the lazy, soft life of
the harem. One-half of her time she was studying, reflecting, earnestly
considering her manners and deportment; the other half she spent with
Mrs. Russell and Polly, in a thoroughly demoralizing uselessness.
Laziness was Polly’s darling vice. She had long passed the stage of
struggling against it; now she hugged it, enjoyed it without shame. She
lay in bed, in a chaise-longue, or on a sofa, hour after hour, smoking
cigarettes, lost in her sorrowful reveries. Where on earth was she to
find an incentive to activity? There was no one whom she might love and
serve; no effort was necessary to obtain all the luxuries possible. Her
old love of her art lay buried beneath her grief; she felt that she had
all that she could ever expect in life.
She had got quite used to Angelica now, and more or less fond of her.
She liked to have the girl near, sitting with one of Eddie’s books;
absorbed in it, yet instantly ready for any service required.
"Do you know, Angelica," Polly said to her one day, "the very nicest
thing about you is that you never fidget!"
Angelica considered that.
"No," she said. "I know I don’t. I see other people squirming and
wriggling all the time, and I wonder—I don’t know—I am quiet; but
I’ve got lots of life in me."
"I should say you had! Just my antithesis, aren’t you? I’m quiet, too,
but it’s because I haven’t any life in me at all."
"Well," said Angelica, displaying no interest in Polly’s state of mind,
and reverting, as she generally did, to herself, "I’m always kind of
expecting something to happen. So I just—wait."
Her naïve egoism never affronted Polly. Disillusioned, she would have
been rendered uneasy by affection or great interest; she liked it this
way, with no pretense on either side, nothing to keep up. She never
affected any interest in Angelica, although she couldn’t attain her
companion’s supreme self-absorption. She was obliged, now and then, to
ask a question; in fact, she couldn’t help being curious about Angelica,
who was not at all curious about her.
She was sometimes a little piqued by the young creature’s cool
assumption that she was of no interest. She knew, as all other people
know, what lay within herself, how different she was from every one else
who had ever lived, how interesting she was, both in her qualities and
her experiences, a thing true of every one; and yet how impossible it is
to make others see it!
Polly was a woman of curious temperament—intense, sensitive, flexible,
and yet protected and perhaps isolated by a certain cool good sense. She
was an artist, a musician, a woman who had twice loved and twice been
most cruelly deceived and rebuffed, who had suffered and thought very
much and very bitterly, if not very profoundly; but she was also the
simple daughter of a small town, a woman who liked a long and leisurely
gossip, who had sane and healthy blood flowing beneath her idle
hypochondria. Woman of the world, smoker of cigarettes, reader of the
most astounding books, seasoned as she was, disillusioned, heart-sick, a
bit theatrical, perhaps, in her utter indifference, she was nevertheless
the same Polly who would have heartily enjoyed a day spent in
jelly-making, or nut-gathering, or sewing with a friendly and talkative
group of her own Ohio women.
She had very little in common with Mrs. Russell. They didn’t really like
each other, but being unoccupied, and in somewhat similar circumstances,
they got on well enough together. The whole household got on together,
in fact. There were intrigues, incredibly petty and subtle struggles and
plots, but nothing overt.
The other two women accepted this new favourite of Eddie’s with resigned
tolerance; they made use of her, but they were quite kind. They, too,
had an influence on Angelica; they taught her something, a little of the
compromise that must be made with life. You didn’t have to love people
or to hate them—you had only to get on with them. She could not but
admire their charming good-humour, their complete lack of the
aggressiveness which the people she had known before had been obliged to
cultivate. They were all three so comfortable together!
It was one of those summer afternoons which had such an indescribable
charm for Angelica. She wasn’t used to idleness, and it delighted her,
this sitting about, with a long stretch of empty hours ahead, to fill as
one pleased. They were all in Mrs. Russell’s big, airy room, with the
green blinds drawn down and flapping in a steady little breeze. It was
very hot, and, as was their custom when Eddie was not home, they were in
undress. Polly hated the hot weather, and didn’t care to move; she lay
on a rattan couch, smoking, with her eyes closed, and with an electric
fan blowing across her.
Mrs. Russell was stretched out in a deck chair; beside her stood a small
table with a bottle of whiskey and a siphon of soda, of which she
partook from time to time—very small drinks, but tolerably frequent.
Her face was crimson; her hair, for greater coolness, was pulled back
into a tight knot; she wore very little but a lace combing-jacket and a
short silk petticoat, which, as she sat with her long legs crossed,
showed a great expanse of gray silk stocking. She was a freak, a fright,
whatever you like, but she had a certain ineffaceable distinction. Her
voice, her gestures—Angelica watched her with interest. She was telling
jokes, outrageous stories that convulsed the other two with laughter.
"My dear! Where do you hear such things?" Polly protested after each
one, and lay waiting for more.
Angelica rejoiced in a lovely cast-off garment of Mrs. Russell’s, light
as gossamer, pale yellow, with taffeta bows. Its coquetry was
incongruous with her dark and somber face, but it was bewitching,
nevertheless. She sat in a low rocking-chair opposite a mirror, content
to look now and then and to speculate endlessly upon the destiny of that
thin, languorous figure, dressed like a rich person, lounging like one,
beautiful, mysterious, alluring. Her bare arms were clasped behind her
head, in that attitude which so well reveals the line of neck and bust.
Seen from the door, in profile, she would have been an exquisite
picture.
And she was seen from the door. Mrs. Russell, facing in that direction,
gave a start of surprise, so that Angelica turned and saw a man standing
there.
He was a big, heavy, swaggering fellow, in baggy knickerbockers and an
old shooting-jacket hanging loosely from his powerful shoulders, with a
fierce, hawk-like face and bright gray eyes. He looked at them with a
sort of contemptuous amusement.
"Vincent!" cried Mrs. Russell.
"Well?" he asked, smiling.
"Eddie’s been so——”
"Eddie be damned! How are you, Polly?"
"Quite well, thank you, Vincent," she answered with simplicity.
"You’re looking better," he assured her in friendly manner. "And mamma?"
"Don’t be so provoking!" she cried, trying to be angry, but at heart, as
one could plainly see, filled with idiotic admiration for this big,
impudent son. "Don’t pretend to be so calm and cool! What are you going
to tell Eddie?"
Angelica jumped up from her chair, and then sat down again. Vincent took
no notice of her.
"Let’s have a drink," he said, and sat down beside his mother. "Ah! And
now another!"
He was certainly theatrical, playing to his little audience the part of
the idolized conqueror, the man to whom everything is permitted; but he
did it well. He could carry it off; it was evident that he had them both
in his pocket.
He talked to them with conscious mastery. His mother was silly and
adoring; Polly, in spite of all her reserve and her deep and hidden
resentment against him, couldn’t hide a sort of charmed interest. They
listened to him and looked at him, while he, sprawled out in his chair,
smoked a pipe and stared at the ceiling.
And then, suddenly, just for an instant, his falcon glance rested upon
Angelica, upon the swarthy face that turned pale beneath it. Her heart
stood still; she stared at his bold, careless face with a feeling that
was almost like terror. She had never seen his like before, never seen
so free and strong a spirit in any human creature.
She had met her match, and she knew it. She could never conquer him! It
was a sensation unique in her life; never imagined before, never to be
experienced again. She forgot herself completely, didn’t give a thought
to the impression she might be making upon this man. She thought only of
him, watched him, listened to him, in a sort of stupour.
He didn’t look at her again, but she knew that he was conscious of her,
and that he included her among his audience. He went on, always like an
adored actor secure of rapt attention, telling them things, painting
vivid pictures for them. In the midst of his finest phrases, he would
use the coarsest and bluntest of old words, abruptly, like a gross
insult in a love sonnet. He aimed deliberately to startle and amaze, and
he succeeded. The three women listened spell-bound; Angelica above all,
quite caught in his net.
He told them about a play he had seen the night before, and an actress
in it who had caught his fancy.
"That woman!" he said. "Good God! A fair, thin virgin—inviting with her
troubled eyes the fiercest lusts—still innocent, still trembling on the
threshold of her life. What an actress! Polly, you would have enjoyed
her work."
"I don’t doubt it, Vincent."
"I’ll take you some evening soon. But no, I forgot. I’m going away."
"Oh, Vincent, again?" cried his mother.
He looked at her with a strange smile.
"Yes," he said, "and for a long time."
Polly, so many times hurt, so long ignored, remained quite still and
indifferent. Only Angelica saw her thin fingers clench, and then open
listlessly. She didn’t open her eyes or speak.
"Where?" asked his mother.
"You ask me?" he demanded. "I am a man. Pray, where should I go?"
No one was able to answer, and he frowned again.
"There’s only one destination possible," he said; "one spot on earth
that draws toward it all of us who are men—a place of blood and
destruction, of utter loneliness and frightful agony, where we rush to
embrace that most maddening and most tender of mistresses——”
"Oh, Vincent!" cried Mrs. Russell, distressed. "Don’t talk that way
before Polly!"
He threw back his head and laughed.
"A mistress who breaks all hearts—of whom all loving souls are mad with
jealousy—a mistress to whom no man is unfaithful—beautiful Death!" he
cried.
His mother gave a sort of shriek.
"Vincent! You’re not going to kill yourself?"
"No!" he cried. "No! To kill my brother!"
"Kill Eddie?"
"Don’t be such a damned fool!" he said, irritably, annoyed that she had
misunderstood and cheapened his climax. "I’m going to the war."
Until that moment they had, to tell the truth, taken very little notice
of this war. It had been going on for some weeks, with great head-lines
in the papers, but in their isolated group it had very little
significance. Their routine was in no way interrupted. Eddie worried
over it, but then he worried over everything. He said it was disastrous
for the market. However, they were quite sure that he would bring home
money for them, if not in one way, then in another, and they weren’t
really disturbed.
And now suddenly the war and Vincent came bursting in upon them with
violence.
Vincent, of course, had to go out of the room at once after that
declaration, leaving the three women astounded.
Mrs. Russell was the first to bestir herself. Perhaps because she was
conscious that her emotions were so feeble, she always strained to
emphasize, to exaggerate them. She at once affected a great excitement.
She began rushing about, under the pretense of "getting Vincent’s room
ready," and telling the servants that Mr. Vincent was home.
"And he’s going to the war, Annie!" she cried. "Isn’t that dreadful?"
Polly took no part in this movement. She went back into her own room and
sat down before her dressing-table.
"I’ll do my own hair, Angelica," she said, with a new frigidity in her
manner that surprised her companion.
"All right!" Angelica answered, with a trace of sulkiness.
"You can go if you like," Polly went on. "I won’t need you any more
to-night. I think, Angelica, you’d better have your dinner in your room.
Mr. Geraldine might not like a stranger at the table the first evening
he’s home."
"All right!" said Angelica again, turning obediently to the door.
But she did not attempt to conceal a most provoking smile—to show Polly
that she knew the cause of all this.
She went trailing back to her own room in the yellow negligée, and shut
herself in, happy enough to be alone and unobserved. After all, what did
it matter if she couldn’t come down to dinner, couldn’t see him at all
that evening? She could think about him; she could recall his face and
his voice; rejoice again in that unaccountable thrill.
She leaned back in her chair, her arms clasped behind her head, a
strange and divinely stupid smile on her lips. Just at the threshold of
love she was lingering, in that little moment before there is desire or
pain, when love is without substance, without thought, a dim ecstasy,
with no more motive, no more basis for its joy, than the dream of an
opium-smoker.
"Gawd!" she said to herself, with a grin. "I guess I’m hit this time,
all right!"
There was a knock at the door. She went leisurely to open it, with the
expectation of seeing her dinner served on a tray; but it was Eddie, the
loyal Eddie, come to fetch her. He was rather pale and quite unsmiling.
"If you’ll get dressed," he said. "We’re waiting for you to come to
dinner."
"Mrs. Geraldine said——”
"It doesn’t matter. You must come. I wouldn’t sit down without you."
He looked at her, and his face twitched. She looked so strange, so
terribly aloof! He was unstrung, anyhow. He had had a beastly interview
with his brother, and a somewhat unpleasant five minutes with Polly,
whom he so much admired. He had really annoyed her, for the sake of this
devilish girl. He was filled with dread and distress, with a wretched
sense of impending calamity—what people call a presentiment. Perhaps it
was because his mind unconsciously recognized all the elements here for
a hellish conflagration.
"Hurry, won’t you?" he said. "We’re waiting."
She did hurry, and her dressing took only ten minutes; but she was very
much surprised to find Eddie still waiting for her, and still more
surprised when he took her by the arm and for the first time used her
name.
"Angelica!" he said in a low voice.
"What?" she asked, startled.
"Don’t!"
"Don’t what, Mr. Eddie?"
He didn’t answer, but he squeezed her arm, and when she looked up into
his face it was desperately anxious.
"All right!" she said, half understanding what he wished her to
understand.
For she, too, was vaguely aware of danger; she, too, could dimly
perceive whither her eager feet were leading her; but she ran to it,
flew to it. She, too, had an odd and terrible feeling of approaching ill
fortune. She felt disaster drawing near, yet was not able even to wish
to avoid it.
She sat down at the table, next to Vincent; and she hadn’t been there
for fifteen minutes before she was lost. His bold eyes rested on her
face, and all her own boldness turned to surrender, her own fierceness
melted. She couldn’t turn away from him; she sat very still, enthralled,
listening to his voice, watching his mobile face, the fine, straight
brows moving so expressively, his supple hands.
He was still in his rough sport clothes, and his bright brown hair was
ruffled. He had an air about him of fine, arrogant carelessness that she
could worship. He had none of Eddie’s punctilio, no sort of nice
manners; he had only an indifferent ease, a most complete disregard for
any other living soul.
He interrupted without compunction, he made no pretense of listening; he
wanted to do all the talking, and he wanted to be listened to with
respect. Well, why not? Angelica wished nothing better than to look at
him and listen to him forever; she couldn’t bear the idea of having to
leave his presence.
Every time she looked at him, he was looking at her—at those curious
eyes not quite alike. She was bewitched; she scarcely knew what she was
doing. She felt that she shouldn’t look at him so much, but that was
quite beyond her control. The other people seemed dim and far away,
hardly audible. He was filling up the world.
He talked of the war, and his words were glorious. Oh, he was a poet,
truly! His talk of blood and battles fired her imagination. Eddie’s
studious dissertations upon the rights and wrongs of the conflict seemed
to her contemptible. A man mustn’t go to war because it is his duty, but
because he loves it; because he is a hero, like Vincent.
"I’m going!" he said. "I long for it. It’s the completion of a man’s
life. Until he has fought and killed, a man has not lived. That is his
manhood, his glory. Think of all Europe rushing, blood-mad, to the
Flanders battlefields, all the young and the fine and the strong herded
there, to kill or to die! My God! The very pinnacle of life!"
"Or the lowest depth," said Eddie.
Vincent laughed.
"You’re no warrior, my dear boy," he said. "Well, we don’t expect it of
you."
Eddie grew red.
"I dare say I’m as much of a warrior as the next man," he said. "I dare
say I’d like it—this fighting and killing; but I don’t see anything
fine about it. I don’t glorify it. I think it’s beastly. There are
plenty of things that I’d enjoy that I don’t by any means admire. This
fighting is a filthy relic of our old barbarous days."
"Then so are all our splendid passions, my boy. God keep us barbarous,
and men! You chilly, cowering little pen-drivers——”
"That’s enough!" said Eddie. "You’re talking rot—pure rot!"
He was making a desperate effort to control a furious anger; for the
sake of his own dignity he didn’t dare to quarrel with Vincent. He knew
his brother and his unholy resources too well.
"All those chaps in offices and so on," he continued. "You don’t know
anything about them. If it comes to the test——”
"Oh, you’ll all do your duty, all you little money-grubbers!" said
Vincent. "I don’t doubt that; but what we need—what the world is sick
for, dying for—is men who are inspired."
"They might be inspired by something better than drunken enthusiasm,"
said Eddie.
Vincent laughed again, and looked around the table at his worshipping
women; but his glance rested upon Angelica. She caught her breath,
stared up at him; and then, for the first time, smiled at him, a smile
quite strange to her, trembling and uncertain.
Eddie pushed back his chair and got up.
"Miss Kennedy," he said, "I’ve some more books for you—if you’ll come
and get them."
"All right!" she answered carelessly.
He hesitated a moment, as if he were about to speak; then he went on
up-stairs into his room, leaving the door open so that he could watch
the lighted hall. He saw his mother go by, into her own room; then he
heard the sound of the piano down-stairs—Polly’s familiar touch.
"I suppose she’ll stay down there—jabbering!" he said to himself,
jealous, hurt beyond measure. "When he comes, with his damned swagger,
of course she has no further use for—for study and improvement. She’ll
forget all about coming!"
He couldn’t read, himself. He sat facing the door, restless, miserable.
There came to his mind so many stories he had read, operas he had heard,
with the tragic rivalry of brothers for their theme. And wasn’t he the
very prototype of the good brother; the one who is always wronged by
the reckless, handsome one—by Vincent? He thrust the thought away.
Damned nonsense! No one was in love with any one else in this house!
He recognized an old and most unworthy adversary in this jealousy,
something which he had tried for years to combat. It was the most
convincing proof of Eddie’s greatness of soul that he did so struggle
with this envy, and that he did not hate his brother. He had every
possible reason for doing so. He had the memory of years and years of
injuries and injustices; he had seen this brother always exalted above
him, always held up to him as an example of all the social virtues.
"If you’d only try to be more like Vincent!" his mother used to sigh.
Eddie couldn’t dance, couldn’t sing, couldn’t in any sort of way
ingratiate himself. He wasn’t liked. His goodness itself was perhaps the
chief thing against him.
"I never worry about Eddie," Mrs. Russell had often said in his hearing.
"He’s perfectly safe." And he knew that this was a most unattractive
thing to be.
He had never got on with Vincent. There was only two years’ difference
between them, and Eddie had never been able to make even this apparent.
He was smaller, he developed much more slowly, he never could obtain any
of the prestige due to him as the elder. Eddie, at nineteen, had been
nothing but a somewhat priggish and very shy school-boy, while Vincent,
at seventeen, was a young man.
It must not be imagined, however, that Eddie was in any way subservient
to his brother. For the most part, they were quite indifferent to each
other. They very rarely met; they went to different schools, and Eddie
spent his holidays with his mother and Vincent with his father. When
their father died, and they were once more under one roof, with their
mother, they had separate friends, separate interests.
When anything did bring them together, they fought. Eddie had more than
once been sent rolling in the dirt by his bigger brother; and in spite
of the tradition that the normal boy loves the fellow who pummels him
most heartily, this didn’t breed affection in Eddie’s heart. He resented
it. He was fiendishly proud and sensitive, and he couldn’t forget such
outrages.
He had fleeting visions of certain miserable moments—visions of the
triumphant and exuberant Vincent, of being taken to see Vincent
graduated with honours, to hear him read a valedictory poem he had
written, to see him surrounded, overwhelmed with admiration, of watching
him win races, play in tennis tournaments and amateur theatricals, of
hearing him sing. It seemed to him that he had spent a great part of his
youth sitting beside his mother and watching Vincent show off.
There were facets to Vincent’s nature which he never regarded or
attempted to comprehend. This poetic stuff, for instance. He had heard
Vincent recite from his work, but he hadn’t seen much in it for
admiration. He had simply taken for granted what every one told him,
that his brother was a poet. It had never occurred to him that there
were grades of poets.
There was something mysterious at which he merely guessed, a side to his
brother too amazing and unpleasant to contemplate. Eddie, with his rigid
self-discipline, his ceaseless struggle to perfect himself, could in no
way comprehend the laxity, the facile debauchery, the equally facile
repentance, of an ill-balanced and self-indulgent soul. He had more than
once fancied he heard his brother weeping and groaning, sometimes shut
in with his mother, sometimes with Polly; but when he actually saw
him—big, strong, insolent, forever bragging of his manhood—he couldn’t
believe it. He couldn’t reconcile the idea of hysterical weakness with
this conquering creature. He imagined it must be merely some expression
of the poetic temperament.
No, this victorious brother was without blemish; he had become in
Eddie’s eyes a rival of quite fantastic perfection. He was handsome, he
was strong, he was fascinating, he was a poet; he had every
accomplishment, every charm. He was not to be withstood.
And, just as he was reflecting, he saw Angelica go by the door,
absolutely oblivious of him, without so much as turning her head. He
heard her door close; he waited, but he knew it was of no use. She had
forgotten him!
Polly, too, was thinking of Vincent. With that pitiful stupidity of
women, who can never quite believe themselves without attraction, she
had seated herself at the piano and begun to play. She knew he loved
music; she hoped to interest him with a curious new piece.
She wasn’t in love with him any longer. She didn’t even wish him,
exactly, to love her; but she was passionately anxious to secure his
attention. She had that hunger which all really fine women have—the
hunger for being appreciated, recognized. She deluded herself with the
idea that after an episode with some worthless little hussy, he couldn’t
help but contrast such a creature with Polly, and be filled with remorse
and respect.
As a matter of fact, he felt nothing in the world but irritation. He did
contrast Polly with the girl whom he had left the day before, but it was
to the disadvantage of his wife. He saw her to be sallow, weary, faded.
She had, he thought, only one good point—she didn’t nag; didn’t even
ask where he’d been.
He came and listened to her music. She saw him sitting close to her,
with a look of pleasure on his face, and she put all her art, all her
skill, into her playing; but when she glanced up from a difficult
passage, he had gone.
She went on playing, but it was mournful, dispirited music; the
improvisings of a forlorn heart.
Mrs. Russell alone never gave a thought to Vincent. She had gone to bed
very early, as she liked to do, and lay reading a French detective
story. Her eyes were bright with interest; she was delighted.
Angelica had not turned on the light. She sat by the open window of her
room, near which a big lime-tree was rustling in the dark. The grass,
the bushes, the clouds, were all moving, and she fancied that moths and
bats and other little night creatures fluttered by. The breeze was going
past her; she felt none of it on her face. She had an impression of
being spectator of a mighty procession, forever passing her window in
dim, dark shapes.
She was excited and exultant; in the dark her lips were smiling. She
wasn’t thinking; she was drifting, lost in an endless reverie, upon the
strength and beauty of this man. She was like poor Polly, playing
uncounted variations on one sole theme.
"I never felt this way before!" she reflected, with wonder. "I never
thought I could!"
But then she had never expected to meet a man like this, so entirely the
hero of her dreams. With her sad, worldly wisdom, she had expected so
little of love or of men. She had expected to be satisfied with some one
who would love her; she had never, in her pride, imagined a man whom she
could love. This noble and poetic soul was a shock to her, an amazement.
Her fancy dwelt upon his splendid figure, his bold face. She smiled
again, and then grew suddenly uneasy.
"No!" she said. "I don’t like it. I wish I didn’t. Him being married,
and all!"
For a moment she had an inchoate perception of life going by like that
wind outside, only not passing her, but bearing her with it. She knew
that this thing could not be stopped.
"Maybe I’d better go home," she thought. "I don’t want to get mixed up
in anything queer. Maybe I’ll go."
But that wasn’t genuine; retreat wasn’t in her soul. Her vague
uneasiness increased; she began thinking of Eddie and his books, and
those magnificent women.
"But all of them," she thought, "just went for the man they wanted, I
guess, and didn’t give a darn for anything else. Maybe that’s the best
way."
She dallied with the idea of reckless, overwhelming passion, but she
could not wholly accept it. There was something humiliating in caring so
much for a man.
There was a quiet little knock at the door. Angelica’s hand flew to her
heart; she didn’t stir. There was another knock, and still she didn’t
answer. Then, fancying she heard a footstep departing, she was seized
with an unreasonable panic, and flew across the dark room and stood
close beside the door.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"It’s I," said the voice she had longed for and dreaded.
"Well, what do you want?" she asked, flippantly.
"I thought you’d like to take a walk in the garden," he said.
"Why? It’s too late!" she cried.
"Can’t we have a little talk?" he asked, plaintively. "Can’t I come in?"
She hesitated.
"I guess—you’d better not. I’ll see you in the morning. It’s so late
now."
"I didn’t think you’d care about such things," he said.
She saw that he was disappointed; that he found her tame, cowardly. She
unlocked the door and flung it open.
"But what on earth is there to talk about?" she asked, laughing
nervously.
And then and there and forever she lost her advantage over Vincent. For
that moment she was triumphant, indulgently amused by his eagerness,
mistress of the situation and of him, elated by the knowledge that she
was beloved and desired; but no sooner had Vincent really entered than
he dominated the situation. His big hand closed over hers. He bent over
her and whispered in the darkness:
"I couldn’t sleep till I’d seen you again!"
"Well!" she said, with the same forced little laugh. "Here I am!"
He seemed in the dark to tower above her; his bigness, the resonance of
his deep voice, confused her.
"I couldn’t sleep without seeing you," he said again. "I had to know
that you were real. After you had gone, I thought I must have dreamed
you. You were so lovely, so wonderful, you came upon me so suddenly! You
are real, aren’t you?"
Again she gave a stupid laugh.
"Tell me!" he said. "Are you the girl that I saw at the
dinner-table—the houri in yellow that I saw in my mother’s room?"
"Yes."
"And only to think!" he said. "I’ve been looking for you all my life
long, all over the world, and I find you here, under my own roof, when I
come home! Were you waiting for me?"
"I didn’t know there was any you," she said, simply.
"I knew there was you, though! I knew I should find you!" he cried. "Oh,
I’ve hungered for you and thirsted for you! I’ve been so restless and
unsatisfied! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve found you, dear, beloved
girl!"
"But you don’t know me!" she protested, with an almost painful anxiety.
"Perhaps I’m not—as nice—as you think."
"I do know you! I know all your soul. I was born to know you and to
comprehend you. You are my sovereign, my most beautiful and adored lady.
I am your knight and your servant forever. I think I could faint with
joy for a touch of your dear hand!"
Tears sprang to her eyes, she was so moved by his words, by his ardent
and touching voice. She stood motionless, still with her hand in his;
but some tremor, some sign which his agile heart at once detected, must
have told him that his moment had come. He drew her close to him and
clasped her in a strong and tender embrace, her heart beating close to
his, while he stroked her soft hair.
"My little one!" he whispered. "My beloved little one! Madonna! Dear,
glorious angel!"
His voice broke in a sort of sob, and the hand smoothing her hair
trembled. He bent and kissed her cheek, kissed her again; then,
suddenly, his embrace tightened, and he pressed his lips against hers
with something quite different, something quite devoid of tenderness.
She struggled, pushed him roughly away.
"Don’t!" she said, sharply.
For she wanted it to stop there. She wanted this to be love, this
half-sad ecstasy, these stirring, heart-breaking words. She wished to go
no further. Perhaps the ghosts of dead mothers for ages back come to
beseech young girls, to entreat them in silent voices:
"Oh, do not, my daughter, for the love of God, do not become a woman!
Stop here! Let this suffice! For whatever little you may gain, you will
lose a hundred times as much. Draw back from this bitter, bitter
draught!"
"Kiss me!" he entreated, following her further into the room.
"No!" she said harshly. "Go away! Go out and close the door! Go away, or
I’ll call!"
He stopped at once.
"I thought you loved me!" he cried.
"I do," she said, with sublime honesty. "Only—I want you to go. Good
night!"
And here was Angelica, the very next afternoon, sitting once more in her
mother’s underground kitchen, with the teapot handy beside her on the
stove and a familiar blue and white cup and saucer before her; but the
kitchen was not as in the old days. Now it was all disorder and dirt,
the clock had stopped, the floor was unswept, the bright blackness of
the stove was lost in a grayish fuzz. The mistress—or, one might better
say, the servant—of this little domain, who had worked so valiantly to
preserve its decency, was lying ill in the adjoining bedroom.
Angelica had got a brief note from her that morning at the
breakfast-table:
Dear Angelica:
I am taken ill, and do not know how ever I shall manage. If you can
spare the time I wish you would come.
Your Mother.
Angelica had shown this to Eddie, and he had at once ordered the motor
for her and given her twenty-five dollars for any urgent expenses.
"Get everything that’s necessary," he told her. "If she’s very ill, be
sure to get a nurse. Don’t overtax yourself. And here’s my office
telephone number; I’ll expect to hear from you this afternoon."
Angelica had got a doctor from the neighborhood. He had declared her
mother’s illness to be a sort of indigestion, and had ordered a
cessation of boiled tea, a strengthening diet, a number of medicines,
and a week’s complete rest; and now Mrs. Kennedy was enjoying the rest.
Angelica had set to work with terrific energy; had gone flying in and
out of the flat, using Eddie’s money to great advantage. She bought her
mother two new night-dresses, a bag of oranges, a drinking-glass—they
had had nothing but cups for a long time—and two new saucepans for
cooking the food she was to enjoy. Her last purchases had included
extension screens for the windows and a wire "fly-swatter," with which
she had pursued and deftly crushed every fly in the flat.
After lunch she intended to clean the rooms properly, to scrub, to
sweep, to dust, to wash. She rather looked forward to it. Her mother
wasn’t seriously ill, and she had had the extreme satisfaction of making
her happy and comfortable. She had left her lying neat and peaceful in
the dark little cell, with her hair brushed and braided and her mind at
peace.
Mrs. Kennedy had said that it was better than medicine to see her child
again, and it was—above all, to see her child so triumphantly happy.
Letters had told her very little, for Angelica was not good at writing,
and her brief notes had given her mother plenty of scope for anxiety.
She hadn’t thought it possible that her child had actually held her own
there among the rich people. She wanted to ask innumerable questions, to
talk at great length; but Angelica made use of the doctor’s
recommendation.
"He said for you to be very quiet and not talk much," she stated.
"You talk and I’ll listen," said her mother.
"No, that’ll excite you," Angelica replied. "You just keep quiet,
mommer, till you’re better."
She could not talk to Mrs. Kennedy; she felt absolutely obliged to go
off alone where she could think of Vincent. All the morning, even
through her great anxiety before she had got to her mother, all the
while she was working to make her patient comfortable, that delight had
glowed in her heart. She had scarcely closed her eyes the night before,
but she was not in any way tired. She was in a sort of continuous
rapture; she was filled with energy, vigour, an immeasurable good-will.
She rocked back and forth in the creaking old chair of which her mother
was so fond, and drank her tea, as it had been their custom to drink it,
black and bitter, with a parsimonious teaspoonful of condensed milk in
it. She smiled to think of the contrast between this sort of
tea-drinking and that at Buena Vista—the fine and delicate china, the
pale amber liquid, served with cream, crystal sugar, thin slices of
lemon, all sorts of biscuits and cakes, all the ceremony of the thing.
She felt that, after all, there was a tranquil sort of comfort in her
present state quite lacking in the other; not realizing that it was the
happiness in her heart which gilded all her surroundings.
She pictured Vincent and herself in a place like this, blessed outcasts
who had renounced everything, and had only each other. She imagined his
coming home to her, weary and pallid; she saw herself welcoming him,
smiling, proud, brave through any suffering, her ambitions all
renounced, all her hope in him. She fetched a pail of water and a
scrubbing-brush and a cake of horrible yellow soap, and while she worked
bemused herself with a fancy that this was Vincent’s home, and that she
was working for him.
Because she so longed to see him, she felt sure that he would come. When
the door-bell rang, she sprang up from the floor she was scrubbing, and
ran just as she was, disheveled, in her wet apron, to let him in.
She met the troubled regard of Eddie.
"How is your mother?" he inquired, staring and staring at this joyous,
untidy creature.
"Better," said Angelica.
She was friendly, very well-disposed toward Eddie, and yet, at this
moment, irritated by him because he wasn’t Vincent. Really she didn’t
want to see him. She remained holding the door half open, and hoping
that he would go, but he stood there for some time, frowning a little
and biting his little yellow mustache in silence.
"Do you mind if I come in?" he asked at last.
"No, of course not! Come on in, if you want; only mommer’s in bed——”
"I wanted to see you alone," he said, his frown deepening to a scowl.
"May I?"
Her heart sank. It was surely something about Vincent—a reproof, an
accusation, perhaps dismissal. She led the way into the tiny parlour,
black as a dungeon, and with barred windows, too; took off her apron and
threw it, a sodden bundle, out into the hall. Then she sat down
defiantly before him.
"Well?" she demanded.
Eddie waited for a moment.
"I’ve been thinking," he said at last. "About you. A lot. Especially
last night. If you’ve got time to spare, and if you’ll listen——”
"Go ahead! I’m listening."
She was still defiant, because she expected a rebuke, and she was well
aware that there was quite enough cause in her conduct to merit severe
reproofs. He was so serious, so disturbed, that she believed him to be
disappointed in her, and she resented that.
"Well?" she said again.
"It’s this," he said. "I—I wish I could make you believe that I’m not
selfish in this. I wish I had some way of making you believe that I’m
really thinking of you, first of all. You seem so—solitary,
so—unprotected. Of course, I know you’re very self-reliant, and all
that, but still, you’re only a young girl, after all."
"I can take care of myself," she said sullenly. "I suppose you mean you
don’t like the way I’ve been acting. Well, I——”
"No!" he cried impatiently. "What nonsense! No! What I mean is—I think
you’d better marry me."
"Oh, Gawd!" cried Angelica, astounded.
Eddie’s face grew scarlet.
"Why shouldn’t you?" he said.
"But——”
"I’ve—I can offer you—I have a good income," he went on, angry and
embarrassed. "I own Buena Vista, with a small mortgage on it. I have
something invested, and I’m earning plenty. I’m doing well. I’ll be a
rich man before long."
"Yes, I know; but——”
"And—I think I’d make a good husband. I admire you so much—I can’t
tell you how much! I think you’re—wonderful. You haven’t a penny, you
haven’t any family, any position——”
"Now, look here!" she interrupted, threateningly.
He hastened to repair his lack of tact.
"I’m only mentioning that to show you that I think that you—just
yourself—are worth more than any other woman on earth. It seems to me
you have all the qualities I’ve always admired—pride, and spirit, and
ambition, and strength—and then you’re so beautiful. I—really,
Angelica, if you would marry me, I could do anything. I’m only
twenty-nine, you know."
"Oh, I thought you were much older!" said Angelica, glad of any
distraction from this awful topic.
To her amazement, Eddie sprang to his feet and looked down at her, quite
pale with anger.
"No doubt!" he cried. "No doubt you looked on me as a dull, tiresome,
middle-aged man. You’re like all women—you must have a handsome
man—any fool with a handsome face, who’ll make you fine speeches! If
I’d go down on my knees and rant and rave like a damned actor—but I
won’t! I’m not that sort. I tell you, in a straightforward way, that
I—I ask you to marry me. I’m—I’ve got nothing to be ashamed
of—nothing! One or two little things in the past—but nothing serious.
I mean, no one can reproach me. I’ve never harmed any one."
"Oh, I know it!" she cried. "It’s not that. I know you’re good—too good
for me. I think an awful lot of you, Mr. Eddie. Only——”
"Only what?"
"I couldn’t!"
"Now, see here, Angelica, I haven’t much time. I’ve come away in the
very middle of my office hours to—settle this. I can’t work, I can’t do
anything until this is off my mind. It’s—don’t be unreasonable,
please, Angelica!"
"I’m not, Mr. Eddie; but—I just can’t!"
"Do you mean," he said, "that I’m—distasteful to you?"
That was his weak point, his sorest spot, this sense of his own
unattractiveness, his unpopularity. He had labored too long under
disadvantages too crushing; he couldn’t acquire the self-respect to
which his qualities entitled him. He had never been loved, not even by
his own mother, and he could not destroy a conviction, persisting from
childhood, that he was in some mysterious way unlovable and repulsive.
He turned away abruptly.
"Very well!" he said. "I understand. I’ll go. Good-by!"
"No! Don’t! It’s not that. You’re not distasteful!" she cried.
"Honestly, you’re not—not a bit! I think an awful lot of you. I think
you’re—grand. I do, really; but I’m just not in love with you. I can’t
help it. It isn’t that you’re not handsome, or anything like that."
She was moved by his wretched, pallid face. She wanted very much to
reassure him as to his desirability and attractiveness. She wanted him
to know of her admiration and her great good-will; but she knew no way
of saying all this. She caught his hand and squeezed it; and when he
turned, she looked up at him with those wonderful black eyes, troubled,
filled with tears.
"But can’t we keep on being good friends?" she asked.
He forced himself to smile down at her in his old kindly way—or as
nearly that as his drawn face would allow.
"I’ll try," he said. "Good day!"
Mrs. Kennedy wished to have all this explained to her.
"Who was it, Angie?" she asked.
"It was Mr. Eddie—him that owns the house," said Angelica.
"What did he want?"
"Oh, nothing!"
"Angie, tell your mother, deary. What made you cry?"
"I don’t know. I was nervous, I guess."
Her mother sighed.
"If you’ve made up your mind not to tell me—You know your own business
best, I dare say; only, Angelica, I hope there’s nothing wrong about
it—nothing that’s what it shouldn’t be?"
"No! If you really want to know, he wants to marry me."
She couldn’t conceal a sort of pride. After all, it was something!
Her mother was not garrulous, but this she couldn’t stop talking of; she
couldn’t have enough of Eddie, no detail was too trivial. She wanted to
have a complete description of his person and of his life.
But Angelica’s reception of his proposal she didn’t mention. She saw
that there was something a bit strained in that quarter, something which
talking might make worse, so she held her tongue, confident that it
would end right enough. A girl’s whim! She knew her daughter; Angelica
was far too sensible and shrewd not to take advantage of such an
opportunity. She permitted herself to dream of a future for her child
glorious beyond all her former hopes.
For herself she expected nothing. She knew—none better—what there is
of gratitude in this world. She trusted her child, knew that she would
never forget or neglect her, but she knew also that Angelica was likely
to rise where she never could follow. There would be a pension, no
doubt, but no real share in any future grandeur for Mrs. Kennedy,
scrubwoman, janitress, and martyr.
Her dreaming was disturbed, however, and her happiness turned to
uneasiness by the arrival of a second man that night. She heard the bell
ring and her daughter hasten to the door, and then come back again.
"Mommer, do you mind if I go out for a little while?" she asked.
"Who with, Angie?"
"A feller," said Angelica. "I’ll be back inside of an hour, sure. Will
you be all right?"
"What fellow?"
"A new beau," Angelica told her, laughing. "By-by, mommer! Back soon!"
So joyous, so excited! It didn’t look well for Eddie.
"Now what in the world is that child up to?" Mrs. Kennedy thought.
In the meantime Angelica had reached the street with Vincent, and they
stood on the corner, irresolute. It was a sultry night; the street was
swarming with wretched and vicious life, evil smells, a pandemonium of
noise. Angelica, however, might have been standing in the golden streets
of paradise, or in the desolation of hell, for all she cared. She didn’t
notice, she didn’t really know, where she was.
Ever since she had opened the door and seen Vincent standing outside,
she had been quite beside herself. She waited on that malodorous corner,
looking up into his face with hungry eyes, waiting for his words, for
the sound of his voice. So much had she thought about that enchanted
love scene in the dark, so long had she dwelt upon Vincent’s words, his
appearance, that in this brief interlude she had been able to
accomplish that amazing and essential transformation of lovers—she had
changed the real man into the man she wished him to be.
She was dazed, stupid with the splendour of her own creation, of the god
whom she had made to worship. She was almost afraid of him. After all
her preposterously exaggerated day-dreams, it was necessary that she
should see in him a marvel, and of course she did see a marvel.
He wore a dark suit that fitted closely to his shoulders, and moulded
for the delighted eye his splendid figure, his perfectly proportioned
height. He was powerful and at the same time graceful, and he carried
himself regally. In his rôle of poet, he wore a white shirt with a low,
open collar and a soft black tie, and he went with his hat in his hand,
the better to show his keen, vigorous profile, his fine head with its
rough, bright hair. Angelica felt that she would never grow tired of
looking at him, and yet in less than five minutes she grew restless
because he didn’t look at her.
At last he did, and smiled.
"Well?" he said. "What shall we do, eh?"
"Whatever you like."
"God forbid!"
"Why?" she demanded impudently. "What would you like?"
"I’d like to kiss you, for one thing; but I won’t. Don’t be provoking,
naughty Angelica—I won’t make love to you!"
His tone was light and careless, and the smile he gave her she neither
understood nor liked. She was puzzled and hurt. What made him so
different? What was the matter?
"Suppose we walk?" he suggested. "This isn’t a very appetizing corner to
stand on. How is your mother?"
"Better," said Angelica in a surly tone.
"And you?"
"All right."
"I don’t know who else there is in your household, but I hope they’re
all quite well. Brothers and sisters——”
"Don’t be silly!" she said roughly.
"Angelica," he replied, "I’m not silly. I’m only trying to be decent.
You’re very young, very inexperienced. It’s hard to talk to you. I hoped
you’d understand without an explanation, but I don’t believe now that
you can."
She could have wept with chagrin and utter bewilderment. She saw that
she was being very stupid, and that she was disappointing her idol in
some way, but she couldn’t in the least comprehend how.
"You see," he went on, with an air of extreme patience and gentleness,
"all that—last night—it was very wrong. I blame myself severely. My
ideas about such things aren’t the usual sort, by any means. I don’t
parade it, but I’m a deeply religious man; and when I find myself giving
way to temptation as I did last night, I’m ashamed."
They went along in silence, down Seventh Avenue, to the entrance of the
park at One Hundred and Tenth Street. They entered here, and proceeded,
at the easy pace he had set, side by side, both looking ahead. All about
them in the warm dark were lovers, sitting close together on the
benches, walking hand in hand. There was a very atmosphere of love. And
Angelica must go on beside this man, who didn’t even turn his head to
look at her, who had nothing to say to her. He only quoted some poetry
which she neither liked nor understood, for it had nothing to do with
love; it was about the foreign people in the city and the hot weather.
She tried to lean upon her pride. Very well, if he didn’t mind wasting
this precious and beautiful hour together, then neither would she; but
she couldn’t restrain a hoarse little sob that flew suddenly into her
throat.
Vincent stopped.
"Now, my dear child!" he remonstrated. "Don’t! You make it so hard for
me. It’s not kind."
She tried to stop weeping, but couldn’t at once. He laid a hand on her
shoulder and gently patted her.
"You mustn’t take it like this, my dear; or else I shan’t be strong
enough. Do you know why I came to-night?"
"I suppose—you wanted to see me."
"No, I didn’t. It’s only pain for me to see you. I can’t have you. I
mustn’t even think of you. I’ve got to give you up. I’ve got to stop
loving you."
"Can you?" she asked, with quivering lips.
"I must. I came to tell you so. You must forget all I said last night. I
shouldn’t be fit to live if I were to harm you. Angelica, what do you
think I am? Do you think I could harm you? Do you think it’s in me to
do so brutal a thing, Angelica?"
She was effectually checked, her ardour destroyed. Nettled by his
assumption that only his nobility saved her, her pride came to the aid.
He needn’t talk of giving her up when he hadn’t got her!
And, ignorant as Angelica was, a novice in love, she was able to
perceive a certain falseness in his attitude. This was not the
renunciation of a man who loved her better than himself. It was
something different, which she didn’t understand, and which displeased
her.
She had such a feminine longing to be captured and compromised that she
couldn’t even imagine the motive which just then ruled Vincent—that
powerful instinct of the male to escape entanglements; but her fresh and
fervent spirit was able by instinct to perceive his staleness. Mystery
as he was to her, she nevertheless felt, with perfect justness, that at
that moment he cared nothing at all for her.
"Let’s turn back!" she said. "I told mommer I wouldn’t be gone long."
He made no objection. He took her back to her own door and stood hat in
hand to wish her a good night.
"Angelica," he said, "I think you will thank me some day."
She didn’t reply, only turned and left him, and went into the flat.
Her mother was asleep, and everything was quiet. She sat down in the
dark kitchen near the barred window, where a beam of light from a flat
overhead, across the court, fell upon her.
"Well!" she said. "That’s over, I guess!"
An awful sense of frustration swept over her. That all this should stop
before it had fairly begun; that this beautiful love should be stamped
out—intolerable! It was not in her nature to submit; there was no
resignation in her. She could not bear to be thwarted here, at the
threshold of her life, at the very beginning of the adventure to which
she had always looked forward.
She cried fiercely to God that she didn’t love this man, that he wasn’t
the one for whom she had longed. She wouldn’t weep! If she could, she
would have torn out of her body that treacherous heart which so belied
her pride.
"All right, my lad!" she said. "All right! You won’t find it very
hard to give me up!"
She lighted the gas and sauntered about the kitchen, eating whatever she
saw—bread and biscuits, with a little cold tea that was in the teapot.
She even whistled softly to herself.
Mrs. Kennedy waked up, and Angelica went in to see what her mother
wanted. She strictly discouraged conversation, however, and questions.
"Don’t talk, mommer. It’s too late. Go to sleep now. I’m coming to bed
myself right away. I’ll put out the light and get undressed in the dark,
so you can get to sleep."
Which she did. Her mother heard her moving adroitly about, heard her
brushing her hair, and, at last, the wild shriek of a spring cot, bought
second-hand the day before.
For half an hour Angelica lay quite still; then suddenly she sat up.
"You!" she whispered, with a sob. "You! You go to hell! I don’t
care!"
Angelica was surprised at getting a letter the next morning, for she
never got letters. The writing was necessarily unfamiliar, as there was
none that would not have been. She opened it.
"Angelica, beloved girl!" it began. "I can’t do it!"
"Why, my Gawd!" she whispered. "It’s from him!"
I can’t give you up! I tried—God knows I did, but I can’t! I can’t
think of consequences, of honour, of anything but this heavenly
madness that is destroying me. Even if I lose my soul, even if it
brings ruin and misery upon you whom I worship, I must have you,
Angelica! Oh, come back to me! Come back to me! The farce is over.
I have played my rôle of prudent, honourable man of the world. Here
I am now, without reserve, without the smallest shred of worldly
wisdom, without conscience, without civilization; nothing, my
Angelica, but a man!
Nothing but your lover,
Vincent.
She was wild with joy. She set to work with terrific energy, the letter
crushed inside her blouse. She insisted upon finishing the ironing which
Mrs. Kennedy had tried to do for a tenant before she became ill. She
stood over the ironing-board singing in her rather husky voice.
Nothing but a misunderstanding, after all! He did love her, he had only
tried to do what was right. She felt a profound pity for him, her poor
poet, who had done his very best to protect her, until love overwhelmed
him.
"You bet I’ll go back to him!" she said to herself.
Her mother was alarmed. She saw—who could help it?—the exaltation of
her child, and she wished to know the cause. Poor woman! She feared joy
with all her soul.
"Who was that other man you went out with last night, Angie?" she asked.
"Oh! The brother of the other feller."
Her mother reflected.
"You seem to like him better," she said at last.
"Yes, I do."
"Is he nice?"
"Yes, he is."
"But you’re not——?"
"I don’t know, mommer!" she answered, laughing.
"Deary! I wish you’d tell me!"
"There’s nothing to tell."
"But, my deary, don’t be foolish. Don’t be hasty! Try to find out if
he’s—a good man, before you let yourself think about him. Is he a
good man, Angie?"
"He’s a good-looking one, anyway," Angelica answered flippantly. "Now,
mommer dear, please don’t worry about me. I’m not a fool!"
"But you’re young, Angie, and you’re very hasty. I do worry about you.
You never tell me anything. You won’t listen to me."
Angelica, with that letter next her heart, was patient.
"I do listen to you, mommer. Now, do you want a glass of milk?"
She was patient, because she was indifferent, because for the first time
in her life she didn’t care about her mother, didn’t care what Mrs.
Kennedy thought or how she felt. She wanted, in fact, to get away from
her, to be quite free and not bothered by questions.
"Shall I go back to him now?" she thought. "This instant? Just like I
am?"
But that, though splendid, wouldn’t do, and couldn’t be arranged; so she
sat down to write him a letter. It took her no more than a minute to
finish it, for this was all that she wrote:
I will come back to you. I love you, too.
Your
Angelica.
The telephone rang—that hateful telephone in the dark outer hall, under
the stairs. This was one of the "modern conveniences" of the
apartment-house, and it was her mother’s duty to attend it, and by
screaming, by ringing the down-stairs bells, or, when they were broken,
by toiling up the stairs, to apprise the tenant whom it summoned. They
both hated the thing. When it rang, they would sigh, "Oh, that
telephone!" and go wearily to serve it.
It was a surprise and a great relief to hear Eddie’s voice on the
telephone, for Angelica had been half afraid that the etiquette
prevailing among rich people would prevent any further communication.
She wasn’t even sure as to whether or not she was expected to go back to
Buena Vista. But Eddie wasn’t that sort. His voice was just as it had
always been—official, but quite kindly.
"Hello!" he said. "How’s your mother?"
"Much better."
"That’s good! Then have you any idea when you’ll come back to us,
Angelica?"
"In a week. Next Saturday, the doctor says."
"Good! I’ll call for you next Saturday afternoon, when I leave the
office. And I say, Angelica, don’t you want Courtland to bring you some
of the things you left at our place?"
"I would like a few of them," she answered, gratefully.
And the busy, harassed Eddie, sitting in his office, with impatient men
waiting to see him, with his stenographer pen in hand beside him, with a
telegraph-boy behind him who required a reply, in the midst of the
rattle of typewriters, the ringing of telephone-bells, the clicking of
the ticker, hoarse, excited voices, all this frenzied life which he had
caused to exist and directed and sustained—he took time to write down
at Angelica’s dictation a list of things she had left behind her in his
house.
It touched him, that list, it was so obviously the list of a poor
person—things that he, or any one he knew, would have bought duplicates
of without a second thought; things one would hardly bother to pack. He
got them together himself when he reached home that evening—a
tooth-brush, a cake of perfumed soap, a half-empty box of cheap
writing-paper, hairpins, a nail-brush.
Courtland brought them that evening, much against his will. Who was she
to have her wretched little belongings sent down to her in a motor-car?
He was obliged to assert himself, to proclaim his independence and his
superiority. He stood outside the door with his finger on the bell so
that it rang in one long, maddening clamour, and he kicked at the door.
He made an outrageous noise.
Angelica came flying down the hall in a fury, and flung open the door.
"What do you mean?" she cried. "Where do you think you are, anyway?"
Courtland stared at her for a minute. Then, making an imaginary
lorgnette of his thumb and forefinger, he peered through it, bending
forward from the waist in a preposterous and unseemly attitude.
"Aeoh!" he exclaimed, in a simpering voice. "I beg your pawdon, I’m
suah! I forgot myself, really, don’tcher know! If you will kindly permit
me to enter this mansion, I will deliver to you this package of jools
sent by the dook!"
"Give it to me and shut your mouth," said Angelica.
"What’s all this?" called Mrs. Kennedy from her bed. "Who is it, Angie?"
"Only the chauffeur. He brought some of my things," her daughter
answered in a contemptuous tone.
There was something about her child’s words and tone that jarred upon
Mrs. Kennedy. She came out of the bedroom in her new flannel wrapper,
and addressed Courtland with ceremonious politeness.
"I’m sure we’re very much obliged to you," she said. "Won’t you step in?
Maybe you’d take a cup of tea, and rest a few minutes?"
"Rest!" said Angelica. "He never does anything else!"
Courtland ignored her.
"I don’t care if I do," he said to Mrs. Kennedy, and followed her into
the kitchen, where he sat down heavily on the step-ladder chair. "I’m as
tired as a dawg," he said, with his invariable air of grievance. "It’s
enough to make you sick—driving that woman all over the country. No
more consideration, she’s got, than a—than a dawg!"
"Well," said Mrs. Kennedy, "I suppose that’s what you’re paid for."
"I know it!" he agreed, plaintively. "That’s all right; but then what
does she want to be telling me I’m too good to be a chauffeur for? She
says there’s lots of fellows in college hasn’t got my brains. And this
golf! There she’s got me the bag of clubs that cost Gawd knows what, and
she just started showing me the way to use them. She said I was doing
fine, and then, all of a sudden, she dropped it, and never said another
word about it. I waited. After a while I began putting the bag of clubs
in the car, to remind her. No, not a word! So I says to her to-day,
‘What about this here golf?’ And she says, with that grin of hers, ‘Oh,
I hawdly think it’s worth while going on. I’m afraid it was a
mistake’—and tells me I can sell the clubs!"
"What of it?" inquired Mrs. Kennedy. "They’re no good to you. I can’t
see any sense in your learning to play golf. I can’t see what you have
to complain of."
"Oh, it’s the way them rich people pick you up and then drop you that
makes me sick! Who is she, anyway? An old——”
"You shouldn’t say that!" said Mrs. Kennedy, severely.
She was well enough used to bad language not to be shocked, but she was
displeased.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Angelica, "after all she’s
done for you."
"I don’t want her to do nothing for me. I want her to let me alone.
Listen here—you wouldn’t stand up for her if you knew the way she talks
about you. I had the two of them out the other day, and they were
fighting about you all the time. She said you was no good, and she
guessed you’d stole things off her; but Mrs. G., she says no, you’re all
right. Then she says you’d make trouble in the house, and Mrs. G.
says, ‘Well, ain’t there enough trouble there anyway? What do we care if
we get a little more? I want her back,’ she says. ‘All right,’ says
the old lady, ‘have her, if you want her, but don’t kick if you find
your hus——’”
Angelica had grown scarlet.
"My Gawd, what a lot you talk!" she said. "You better be starting home."
He eyed her with resentment.
"I’ll go!" he said. "Don’t you worry!"
After Courtland had gone, Mrs. Kennedy attempted to reprove her daughter
for her bad manners, but Angelica insisted autocratically that she must
go to bed at once.
"You shouldn’t get up at all," she told her mother.
"The doctor said it wouldn’t hurt me—just around the flat."
"Not at night! You’d ought to know better. You ought to be asleep by
this time. Now, listen here, mommer!" she added firmly, as she saw signs
of rebellion. "If you don’t do what I say, I’m not going to stay and
take care of you. The doctor said rest. Well, this isn’t rest. You got
to go to bed this instant!"
So did she rid herself of the necessity for talking, for listening, for
recognizing the external world. She was irritable at the very least
disturbance; her joy had gone, and left a bitter impatience. Five days
before she could go back to that enchanted house where Vincent lived,
to be again under the same roof, sitting at the same table! Five days
lost out of life, out of her best years!
She was a little surprised and rather pleased at her own lack of
morality. She really didn’t care a bit, didn’t feel in the least shocked
or distressed, at loving a married man; nor did she hesitate for an
instant at the prospect of going off with him. She believed that was
what he meant; very well, she was ready!
She would leave her poor little mother desolate, she would humiliate and
affront the kindly Polly, she would leave Eddie overwhelmed by disgrace
and grief, and still she didn’t care. She was deceiving her mother,
deceiving Polly, shamefully deceiving Eddie, and she didn’t care. On the
contrary, she was rather proud of it. She felt that such insolent
wickedness had in it more than a little magnificence of the sort
possessed by the magnificent women of the past.
Oh, the world was well lost for Vincent, her poet lover! She read his
letter again and cried over it—she who had shed so few tears in her
life.
But in spite of all her hardihood, her pride in her love, she couldn’t
help feeling a great dread of Eddie. She didn’t like to face him. She
had a silly idea that by merely looking at her he might know all that
her heart contained; and although he so much admired magnificence, she
had no delusion as to his admiring this!
She got ready on Saturday afternoon in a state of great nervousness that
subdued even her eagerness to be with Vincent again. She hadn’t seen
either of the brothers for the past five days; Eddie had telephoned
every day, but there had been no word at all from Vincent.
That didn’t trouble her, however. She felt that she and Vincent
understood each other absolutely, no matter how long or how far apart
they were. Just as she thought of him, he thought of her, longed for
her. Her only trouble was this dread; if only it were not Eddie who were
taking her to him! It seemed to cast a shadow upon the boldness and
beauty of their love to dupe a creature so blameless and so generous as
Eddie.
He was late. It had grown dark, and the lamp in the parlour was lighted,
and she and her mother sat in there, talking—a word now and then, and
long, long silences. They had nothing to say to each other. Angelica’s
heart had flown forward to meet her lover, while her mother’s brain
struggled wearily with the problems of the minute, of the next week, of
some one’s ironing, some one else’s scrubbing, of whether she were going
to earn enough to keep herself from getting ill again. They were
effectually separated now.
Came a brisk ring at the bell, and Mrs. Kennedy went to open the door.
"Come in, sir!" Angelica heard her say.
"Mrs. Kennedy?" replied Eddie’s voice. "I hope you’re better?"
"Thank you, sir, I’m quite well again. Won’t you step in?"
Angelica greeted him with an uncertain smile; she didn’t know what his
attitude would be. But he was certainly not vexed, or cold, or
suspicious; he was simply excited, not himself.
"Well!" he said. "I’ve done it!"
"Done what?" she asked.
"I’ve enlisted."
"You’re going to the war?"
"Yes."
"But I thought you didn’t approve of it. You said it was beastly, and
everything."
"Yes, I do think so; but——”
He hesitated, frowning. He didn’t know how to explain; didn’t, as a
matter of fact, honestly wish to explain. His motive in going was purely
selfish; he hoped in battle to make more of a man of himself, to glorify
himself. It was the same impulse which sent him to historical books and
to tremendous days of work—his earnest, priggish, sublime desire to
perfect himself. He believed—like how many others!—that he would come
back from the war a new man.
"I think I ought to go," he said, and was immediately ashamed of this
self-righteous phrase.
Angelica, to tell the truth, was not much impressed by the war. It never
stirred or moved her much at any time. She felt neither belligerent nor
pacifist. She simply took it for granted. She was one of those peasant
natures for whom it is quite impossible to feel either love or hate in
the abstract. She could have hated with royal hatred a German who
molested her, but she had no ill-will toward a German who invaded
Belgium. And as for fine phrases about it, her rough and vigorous mind
rejected them all. Ought to go? Why ought he to go? Just what did he
expect to accomplish?
However, she didn’t say this, any more than she allowed the least hint
of her great relief to show. That was the first thought that crossed her
mind—how much better it would be if Eddie were away!
Mrs. Kennedy shook her head.
"It’s too bad!" she said. "Think of your poor mother!"
Eddie could find nothing to say to that.
"Suppose you should be killed?" Mrs. Kennedy went on, with a sort of
severity, as if she were speaking to a person who persistently sat in a
draft.
"It wouldn’t matter very much," said Eddie, with a faint smile. "Good
night, Mrs. Kennedy! Be sure to take care of yourself!"
Angelica followed him out and climbed into the car beside him. Those
last words of his had hurt her, had brought to her mind the thought of
his loneliness, and memories of his kindnesses and of his little, oddly
touching traits. She was pursued by a great remorse and a great regret.
"I’m sorry you’re going!" she said, with a break in her voice.
"I know you are; but don’t be sentimental about it. I couldn’t stand
that. Be cheerful!"
"I’m not sentimental," she said, forcing her voice to be steady.
"Only—I think a lot of you. Every one’ll miss you."
"No!" replied Eddie. "No one will miss me, except perhaps you. No one
else at all, Angelica."
They were spinning along dark country roads now, and he could not see
her stealthy tears. She was thinking—wasn’t she perhaps a fool to let
him go?
"Oh, I am sorry!" she said again. "I wish I could have——”
"I know!" he said. "You can’t help it. I—don’t blame you. I’m not
lovable."
"You are!"
"No, I’m not. There’s nothing about me that a girl like you could fall
in love with. I know that with women that’s the chief thing—love; but
men are made of coarser stuff. Even if you didn’t love me, Angelica,
I—I wish you would marry me. I’m not boasting, but I could do a great
deal for you. If you could only hear how other men speak of me! I’m
doing bigger things in business—all the time. I—I know I seem like a
fool. Maybe I am, at home; but I’m not a fool in finance. I’ll be one of
the richest men in the country some day, Angelica."
"I never thought you were a fool. Indeed, I think you’re wonderful. I
think you’re—I’m sure you’ll do whatever you set out to do."
"But wouldn’t you like to help me? Things are so muddled and wasteful at
home now. If I had a wife like you, Angelica, to manage there for me,
while I’m away! I need you so much!"
"Oh, deary!" she cried. "Please don’t! I’m so sorry, but I just can’t!"
He drove silently for a long time, until the lights of that home of
his—named with such Eddie-like pomposity—came into view. Then he said,
quite serenely and kindly:
"I’ll be your friend, anyway, Angelica—always!"
Angelica saw no one that night; but when she passed by the library, the
door was half open and she heard voices in there—an unusual thing for
that unsociable family.
Eddie went with her to the door of her room and wished her a good night,
but she did not have one. She slept fitfully, and she had heart-breaking
dreams. She felt confused and unhappy, awake or asleep. She couldn’t
shake off that dull remorse, or a certain sense of great loss which
haunted her.
She got up early, hoping that she might find Vincent and talk to him,
and arrange with him to put an end to this wretched, intolerable
situation. She couldn’t go on like this, in Eddie’s house, meeting him
every day. She felt sure that Vincent must feel this as she did, or
perhaps still more bitterly. She looked forward to it as an exquisite
relief, to pour out her heart to him, sure of his apprehension; sure,
too, that he would admire her fine feeling.
She was surprised, when she reached the breakfast-room, to see them all
at the table together—Polly and Mrs. Russell up and dressed hours
before their usual time; the doctor serious; Vincent in a neat dark suit
and a new air of decorum. He glanced up as Angelica entered, and smiled,
casually, the meaningless smile of his mother; then his eyes turned
away. It wasn’t a ruse; he wasn’t pretending to be indifferent; she
could see that he really was so.
Polly made polite inquiries about Angelica’s mother, and then they had
finished with her, and returned to their own absorbing
preoccupation—the war.
In this one short week they had plunged into the war with fervour, led
by Vincent. They cared for nothing else. Mrs. Russell had organized a
tennis tournament for Stricken Belgium; her specialty was getting up
entertainments and recounting atrocities of a certain sort. Ordinarily
there were all sorts of fascinating subjects which one couldn’t discuss,
all sorts of the most interesting semi-medical details which were
unhappily tabu; but now, provided one told of it as done by a German,
one might say anything. Nothing was too degenerate, too shocking.
Polly spent much of her time in the Red Cross workrooms, rolling
bandages. She could do this with all her heart, without betraying a
secret pity she felt for Germany. She had lived there so long, and had
been so happy in her student days. She was convinced that the Germans
were very wicked, and that it was necessary to conquer them, but all the
same she was sorry for them; and she persisted in her firm hope that her
own country would never enter the war.
"Yes," she said, "I do sympathize with the Allies. I hope they’ll win.
I’m glad and willing to help them; but I’d rather see them lose than to
see any of our own boys killed!"
She kept to herself the horror she felt at the idea of some nice
American boy killing one of those magnificent, insolent German officers
she had always so admired.
Moreover, she didn’t like the English. She had all the resentment, all
the prejudices, of her little Ohio town against that lordly race. It
wasn’t Vincent’s fantastic Irish hate; it wasn’t really hate at all,
simply a stubborn dislike. She found a compromise, as he did, by a
preposterous worship of all things French. They were apparently fighting
the war alone against overwhelming numbers of Germans, somewhat hindered
by a small and very stupid British army.
Vincent gave a sort of inspired dissertation upon the French, which
deeply moved his family but failed to move Angelica. She was too stunned
by this change of atmosphere. She was of no significance now; she wasn’t
useful, she wasn’t interesting. No one—not even Vincent—gave her
another glance; and Eddie, her steadfast friend, wasn’t there.
But the greatest blow of all was Vincent’s attitude toward Polly, his
friendly deference, their air of complete harmony. She watched them, saw
them exchange smiles and glances, listened to their familiar talk.
He left directly the meal was finished, and Polly went up-stairs to put
on her hat.
"I’m going to work all morning," she said. "You can come with me and
roll bandages, or, if you’d rather, you can stay at home and trim that
hat for me."
"I’ll stay home," said Angelica.
But Polly lingered, inexcusably, to talk about Vincent—how Vincent and
she went to this meeting, how Vincent and she said this, how Vincent and
she thought that. They both knew that this was nothing more or less than
crowing. Polly had vanquished Angelica. She had got him back!
Of course she had no actual information as to his philandering with her
companion, but she had observed, she had put two and two together. She
had never suspected actual wrongdoing; she didn’t imagine, somehow, that
there was anything in Angelica’s conduct to blame. She simply thought
that Vincent had too much admired this lovely young thing, and that
Angelica had had her head turned by the flattery of his attention. She
felt justified in pressing her advantage.
Angelica endured it stoically. She wouldn’t show even any interest. She
listened to this talk of Vincent with rude inattention, and even went so
far as to yawn.
"He is wonderful," said Polly. "He’s organized a sort of club—the
Friends of France—men that can’t go themselves, but pledge themselves
to get recruits. He says the war has stirred his faith. I’m very glad.
He’s doing wonderful work!"
"Why don’t he enlist, like Mr. Eddie?"
"My dear, he’d never serve under the British flag. Eddie’s in the
Canadian service. Vincent’s Irish, you see."
"Well, isn’t Mr. Eddie the same as he?"
"Oh, yes, I suppose so; but he’s a different sort of Irishman."
"Well, why don’t he serve under the French flag, then, if he’s so fond
of it?"
"He can do more good as he is. There are plenty of men who can fight,
but there are very few who have Vincent’s wonderful eloquence."
"He said he was crazy to go," said Angelica; "but I notice he doesn’t."
"He’s married, too, you must remember," said Polly. "That makes a
difference. Married men aren’t supposed to go till the very last."
Their eyes met.
"Take him!" said Angelica’s glance. "I don’t care!" But after Polly
had gone, she took out Vincent’s letter and read it again. She couldn’t
understand it! She felt bruised, and weary, and sick at heart, and
baffled. A letter like that, entreating her to come back to him, and,
when she came, to find him on the best of terms with his wife and quite
indifferent to her!
"But perhaps later, when we’re alone," she thought, "he’ll say
something."
But all that day, and that evening, not a word, and the next day, too,
until it grew plain to her that he didn’t intend to see her alone, that
he was avoiding her.
So the next morning she wrote a note and slipped it under his door:
He made no sort of answer; he went on all day as if she didn’t exist; he
wouldn’t even meet her eye. When he wasn’t going out in the motor to
make speeches for the Friends of France, he was sitting in Polly’s room,
telling her what he had said at the last meeting and what he was going
to say at the next one.
But Angelica was not to be disposed of so simply. She made up her mind
that he would have to speak, he would have to tell her outright that he
didn’t love her.
"He won’t find it hard to get rid of me!" she thought, bitterly. "But
he’s got to say. I want to understand. What does he write me a letter
like that for, and then be this way?"
She had a feeble little hope that perhaps it was only his feeling of
duty that kept him from her, that he loved her and didn’t dare to see
her. She felt that if he would just say that he loved her, but that they
must give up all thought of each other, she would be satisfied. She
could go on living, if she had that knowledge. Something, however, he
must say.
On the third evening she lay in wait for him. Polly and Mrs. Russell had
gone to bed, and he hadn’t returned yet from a lecture he was giving in
the village; so she turned out the light in her room and sat in the
dark, with the door open, waiting.
It was a melancholy October night. The leaves from the linden rustled
against her window as they were blown from the branches, and a constant,
monotonous, low wind blew, with a sound like rain. She sat as still as a
spider in a web, grim, unhappy, filled with apprehension.
In the course of time he came in. She saw him hurry down the hall in his
wet ulster and cap, and go into his own room. She was after him before
he had time to close the door.
"I want to speak to you!" she said. "Why didn’t you let me? Don’t you
want to see me?"
"No," he said. "No, Angelica, I don’t." He hadn’t even removed his cap.
He put his hand on the knob of the door. "You shouldn’t have come here,"
he said. "Some one might see you."
"I don’t care! I want to know. What’s the matter? What’s happened?"
"I hoped," he said quietly, "that you’d let it drop without an
explanation which is bound to be painful for both of us."
"I want to know where I stand. I want you to say."
"Sit down," he said. "I suppose we’ll have to have it out."
She did sit down, and waited while he took off his wet things, brushed
his hair, and put on a smoking-jacket. She was interested by his room;
for a few moments it distracted her unhappy heart. It was a curious room
splendidly furnished in black and gold enamel. There was a sort of
Chinese idea about it, shockingly adulterated by European luxury; long
mirrors, armchairs upholstered in purple, great bookcases, a black and
gray velvet rug on the polished floor, a marvelous lacquer screen
concealing the bed, a little stand on which was a tea-set of pale gray
porcelain with an odd black design. There were pictures on the
wall—shocking, startling things, obscene subjects in brilliant colours;
and in the corner a great ebony crucifix.
This exotic and voluptuous setting dismayed her. It proclaimed a Vincent
of whom she knew nothing, and whom she could never comprehend. How in
Heaven’s name was she to understand the poetic side of the man, she so
unpoetic, so crude? A man with tea-sets and crucifixes and such
pictures!
He sat down opposite to her in a low, cushioned chair, his head bent,
his hands clasped between his knees. Her foolish eyes could see, with
tears, that rough, bright hair, those fine, strong hands.
"Angelica," he began, not looking at her, "I’ve been a coward with you.
I’ve shirked this, because it is so intolerably hard to do."
She waited in anguish, with no idea of what she was to hear.
"You see, Angelica, the war has opened my eyes. I was—just going on,
lost in your beauty and loveliness, not thinking—drifting, drifting to
hell, and taking you with me. And then came this thing, this deafening,
colossal call to self-sacrifice, this monstrous revealment of the glory
and holiness of duty. I’m not callous. I couldn’t help but heed it. I
couldn’t go on in my old gross self-indulgence. Angelica!" he said,
looking up and meeting her eyes. "This war has brought me back to God!"
"But," she faltered, "what does——”
"It means that I must give you up. My love for you is a sin. For me, a
poet, slave and servant of beauty, you are temptation incarnate. You
can’t understand that. You are as cold, as pure, as an angel. You don’t
realize what love like mine is."
"I’m not!" she cried, pitifully. "I do understand! I’m not cold!"
"Compared to me you are. My love for you was madness. I couldn’t think
of anything else. It wasn’t the gentle affection you felt."
"I didn’t feel a gentle affection!" she cried, in tears. "You couldn’t
love me more than I love you!"
"Do you?" he asked, in a sort of stealthy triumph.
She didn’t see that. She was utterly sincere; and her beautiful
sincerity, her tears, suddenly moved him to one of those tempests of
remorse to which he was so prone.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "What a brute I am! I talk about giving you up, and
all the time I’m watching your face for signs of love. How can I find
the strength to let you go?"
"Don’t!" said Angelica, with streaming eyes. "Don’t let me go, Vincent
darling! Oh, if only we have each other!"
"We can’t have each other. It’s a sin!" he said. "Don’t you see? Oh,
Angelica! Beautiful Angelica! Why don’t you help me? Why do you try to
draw me down, and ruin me, and destroy me?" He sprang up, his fine face
distorted with grief and passion. "You don’t know!" he cried. "Oh, my
God! I have sinned! I have sinned! You don’t know after what sufferings,
what weary wanderings, I have come back to God! You cannot imagine!
There is nothing I have not done; no infamy I have not committed!"
And then he began his awful catalogue. He told her of his sins, his
vices—vile enough in reality, but exaggerated by his hysteria. He had
no medium between ingenious self-excuse and the wildest self-accusation.
He took a monstrous sort of joy in his horrible recital. He remembered
incidents from his boyhood, of cruelty, bestiality, lust, drunkenness,
theft, every sort of dishonour.
"I’ve been in prison," he said. "No one knows. They thought I was in
Canada that year. I’ve stolen from my own wife and spent the money on
vile women. I’ve been kicked out of disreputable hotels."
It went on and on, a nightmare, things that Angelica had never imagined,
all told in his coarse and vivid language which impressed his images
upon her mind forever.
"Good God!" he cried. "I’m appalled! How can even the God of mercy
forgive such things? Angelica! I am lost!"
He threw himself on his knees before her and buried his head in her lap.
"I have been in hell!" he cried. "What am I to do? God, who sees my
heart, knows that I repent; but is it enough?"
A feeling new to Angelica came over her, a divine kindliness and pity.
She stroked his ruffled hair, and tried, in her blindness, her
bewilderment, to find words to comfort him.
"Of course!" she said. "If you’re sorry, it’ll be all right. You can
start all over again."
With his head still buried, he flung his arms about her waist and began
to sob, hoarse, terrible sobs. She couldn’t bear it.
"Oh, don’t! Don’t, darling!" she cried.
He raised his head.
"I must be mad!" he said. "I’m so tortured. I long so, I yearn so, after
God. I want to be alone with Him, to contemplate Him forever, in
solitude—in a desert—to pray to Him—to make my songs to Him. Almost
all my verses are of God, Angelica. And then I see a lovely face—I
drink another glass of wine—I read a line of voluptuous beauty—and I
am lost again. How will it end? Oh, my merciful God, how will it end?"
She spent almost all the night trying to quiet and console Vincent. She
drew his head against her breast and kissed his forehead while she
talked to him. She found, almost miraculously, words and ideas which
gave him comfort, but with an effort which was torment for her. She had
a sensation of fishing in the depths of her mind, and painfully hauling
out some thought which she had not been conscious of having there. Her
love lent her insight; she discerned the grain of terror that lay
beneath the chaff of his theatrical eloquence. She was able to talk to
him with piety—she who had no religion, and had never given a thought
to such matters. She assured him that his repentance would wipe out his
sins.
"Why, Vincent!" she said. "I could forgive anything you did; and you
know God must be more forgiving than me."
Steadfast, gentle, patient as an angel, she sat with him, listened to
his confessions, his self-accusations, and absolved him in her love. Who
could hold the man to blame for those faults which were his essence? Not
God—not she!
The clock had struck four. They were sitting side by side on the sofa,
both exhausted, pale, quite calm now. Vincent began to talk again, more
in his usual voice.
"Angelica," he said, "Eddie told me that he asked you to marry him, and
that you refused him."
"Of course I did, Vincent."
"It was a mistake, my dear. It’s the very best thing you could do—both
for yourself and for me."
"Oh, Vincent!" she cried. "I couldn’t! You know I couldn’t!"
"Angelica," he said, solemnly, "do it for my sake. Be my sister. I swear
to you that all base and sensual feelings have left my heart. I am
purged of all my lust."
Well, so he was, for the moment; but by weariness, not by religion. He
had talked himself into exhaustion.
"You couldn’t do better," he went on. "I’m not selfish, not jealous. My
wish is to see you happy, and you would be happy with Eddie. He’s a good
man."
He was, in fact, so worn out after his outburst that he felt compelled
to get rid of Angelica, not only for the present, but forever. He didn’t
recognize the feeling. He was conscious only of a great desire to
dispose of her, which he fancied was concern for her welfare.
"I want to see your life happy and blessed," he said. "I want to see you
with your children about you, you with your beautiful Madonna face. I
want always to be near you, but only to worship you. I will be your
brother, your friend. I long to see this, Angelica!"
"No," she said, "I don’t want to. It wouldn’t suit me. I’m not so crazy
about getting married, anyway."
"For me, Angelica! I beg you!"
"No, not even for you. I don’t want to, and that’s enough. I’m young,
Vincent. I have all my life before me. You needn’t worry about me." A
mortal weariness assailed her. "I guess I’ll go now," she said. "I’m
pretty tired. Good night, Vincent!"
He kissed her solemnly on the brow and opened the door for her. She shut
herself into her own room.
"Oh, Gawd!" she sighed. "Now what? This is getting too much for me.
Can’t even think any more. I don’t know——”
She undressed and got into bed, though the sky had grown gray in the
east. She felt obliged to sleep, even if it were only for an hour; but
before she closed her eyes——
"One thing’s certain," she said. "I’m going away from here, right away.
I can’t stand any more of this!"
This one idea remained with her when she got up from her brief
sleep—this determination to get away. Except for this, she was drained
quite dry of all ideas, all feelings. She was not poetic; she hadn’t the
astounding variations of a poetic soul such as Vincent’s. She was not at
all easy to move, and when she was thoroughly aroused—to pity, to love,
to grief, to whatever it might be—it took a very long time for the
tempest to calm. She wanted now simply to get away alone, where she
might examine this turmoil in her heart.
She packed her bag, put on her hat and coat, and went to Polly’s room.
Polly was dressing in her very leisurely fashion, going to and fro in
the room, and stopping now and then before the table where her coffee
and rolls were laid. She was in petticoat and under-bodice, with her
thin, sallow arms and neck bare and her black hair hanging about her
face. She had a forlorn and jaded look—for which, however, Angelica had
no eyes.
"Mrs. Geraldine," she said, "I got to go. I want to go right
away—to-day. I don’t feel well."
"I’m very sorry, my dear! What’s the trouble?"
"I’m just tired. I’ve just got to get away. I want to go home."
"But if you’re not very well, wouldn’t you be more comfortable here?"
"No. I want to go home. I—you know how it is, Mrs. Geraldine, when you
feel you just got to go home!"
Indeed Polly knew!
"For how long?" she asked. "You don’t think you’re really seriously ill,
do you? You think a little rest at home will set you up in a very short
time?"
Angelica hesitated a moment.
"I don’t think——” she began. "I don’t guess I’ll come back."
"Never?"
"No."
"But aren’t you happy here? Aren’t you comfortable? Tell me what’s
wrong, and perhaps we can arrange it."
"You couldn’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t stay—not for anything."
There was no mistaking Angelica’s tone. Polly saw that the girl was
absolutely determined and not to be turned—not without a long argument,
anyway, and that she had no desire to undertake. What is more, she had
too much sense to ask questions. She had a suspicion that her husband
was somehow concerned in Angelica’s going; there was probably a great
deal in this thing of which she decidedly preferred to remain ignorant.
She wasn’t jealous; that had worn off on that first evening of Vincent’s
home-coming. It had hurt her dreadfully, then, to see his glance turn
always away from her and toward this younger and lovelier face; but now
she didn’t care whether he was infatuated with Angelica or any one else.
She was pleased simply to be on friendly terms with him, to have him
agreeable instead of contemptuous, and she knew that was the best she
could expect.
She had not the slightest hope of winning him back; she didn’t even want
to very much. She was so tired; she dreaded the necessity which love
brings for effort—for keeping up, in appearances, in spirits. She
preferred that Vincent should never look at her at all, rather than to
have to endure his old critical glance. She was only too conscious of
her sad decline.
So there was nothing in her heart but real regret that Angelica was
going. She liked her very much, and was used to her.
"I’m very sorry to lose you," she said. "I’d hoped you were quite
settled here. I’ll miss you more than I can say."
"You’ve been very nice to me," said Angelica.
"And you must always remember me as a friend. If there is ever anything
that I can do for you, come to me. I mean it!"
She held out her hand, and Angelica gripped it.
"Good-by!" said Polly again. "And good luck! I hope you’ll let me know
how you get on."
"Yes, I will. But listen, Mrs. Geraldine—can I have my money?"
"Certainly! You’ll have to get it from Mr. Geraldine, though. He’s in
the library, writing."
Angelica was dismayed.
"No," she faltered. "I don’t want to bother him. If you’ll just give me
my train fare, you could send me the rest."
"My dear, I don’t think I have even enough for your fare. Mr. Geraldine
handles all my money for me."
She was a little ashamed of this arrangement, to which she had eagerly
agreed when she and Vincent were first married. It humiliated her to be
thus, without a penny.
"You needn’t mind disturbing him," she said. "He expects to do such
things for me. Come up and say good-by to me the last thing before you
go, won’t you?"
Angelica said "Yes," quite absently. She was thinking how this interview
with Vincent might be avoided. It was the thing above all others she
most desired to avoid. She had meant to go off quickly, to get home,
where she could think in peace, where she could try a little to remember
and to comprehend what had happened. She didn’t attempt to decide
whether or not she would ever see Vincent again; she knew only that she
did not want to see him now. But she was too well-trained in poverty,
and had too much common sense, to go off penniless, without even her
train fare, when there was honestly earned money due to her.
"Shall I wait for Eddie to come home?" she reflected.
No, that wouldn’t do at all. She wouldn’t know what to say to Eddie, how
to explain her leaving. She felt absolutely afraid to see him.
"I’ll just have to go to Vincent," she decided. "But I’m going! He
can’t stop me—I don’t care what he says!"
It took all her courage. She went down-stairs and into the library.
There he sat, writing, as Polly had said. He didn’t look up. She stood
in the doorway, waiting, for a few minutes; then she said:
"Mr. Geraldine!"
"Yes?" he asked, not looking up from his writing.
"Mrs. Geraldine told me to come to you and get my money."
"I can’t be bothered now!" he said irritably. "I’m busy. Can’t you see?"
"I’m sorry, but I’ve got to have it. I’m going."
"Going, Angelica?" he said, looking up at last.
"Yes. I want to catch the ten-forty. So if you’ll just give me my money,
I’ll go right away."
He resumed his writing.
"Too bad!" he said. "I really haven’t got it."
"Please don’t be so mean!" she cried. "For Gawd’s sake, give it to me,
and let me go!" Her fatigue and her distress at his callousness were
unnerving her. She felt ready to burst into tears. "Just give it to me
and let me go!" she said again.
"I haven’t it," said Vincent.
"You haven’t got any money?"
"Not a sou."
"But you can get it for me?"
He shook his head.
"No, my dear, dear girl. You’ll have to wait."
"How long—an hour?"
"I can’t say."
"But what do you mean?"
"I mean that I haven’t any money. I said so before."
"But Mrs. Geraldine said you had all her money."
"Then Mrs. Geraldine will have to be informed, very kindly, that her
income is mortgaged for the next two years. I had to do it. You see, she
has a little annuity, which she lets me collect. Well, I was
embarrassed. I had to borrow money against it. So, you see, that’s
that! She hasn’t anything; and I—I’m penniless as a gipsy. Now you
comprehend, I hope."
And to her amazement he began to write again.
"Say!" she cried. "This won’t do!"
"Don’t bother me, my dear girl. I’m at work," he said, frowning. "On a
poem."
"But you can’t put me off like this!"
"I’m writing!" he cried, in a sudden rage. "I don’t care about you and
your money. Let me alone!"
"You’ve got to stop writing, then. I don’t care about you and your
writing. You’ve got to pay me!"
He sprang to his feet.
"Get out!" he shouted. "How dare you trouble me about your dirty money?
Good God! Lines such as I had, ready to put down, and to have them
ruined by a greedy, good-for-nothing little servant girl! I have no
money. If I had, I wouldn’t give it to you. You don’t deserve it. Idling
away your time, aping your betters, draggling about in their cast-off
finery! If they weren’t both of them lazy and worthless themselves,
they’d have turned you out long ago. Get out!"
And he caught her by the arm and thrust her into the hall, slamming the
door behind her.
Angelica rushed up-stairs like a whirlwind and into Polly’s room,
panting, quite beside herself with fury.
"Him!" she cried. "He turned me out! Took me by the arm and shoved me
out into the hall! He——”
Polly had been putting on her hat before the mirror, but she threw it
down in haste, to give all her attention to this frantic young thing.
"What were you saying to him?" she asked, mildly.
"Nothing! Not a blame thing! Only just asking him for my money, like you
told me. Ah, he’s a fine feller, he is! The names he called me—and just
last night crying and saying he couldn’t live away from me!"
And she told all the story to Polly—even showed her Vincent’s letter.
"Now!" she said. "Give me my carfare, and I’ll go."
"I have nothing. Perhaps Mrs. Russell——”
But Mrs. Russell was out. Polly was in misery. There was this terrible
girl, demanding her money, implacably waiting for it, this girl whom her
husband had treated so shockingly. Her only wish in life was to be rid
of her.
"Take my ring," she said. "It’s worth ten times what you want."
"I can’t buy a ticket with it. I don’t believe you have any money, the
lot of you!"
Paradise was lost, her hopes destroyed, her pride mortally wounded; so,
having nothing to lose, she let herself go. She threw off all restraint;
she was as coarse, as fierce, as she wished to be.
Polly was wonderfully patient with the girl.
"You shall be paid," she said. "I’ll go down with you to Mr. Geraldine.
If he hasn’t any ready money, he’ll write you a cheque."
He still sat there writing. He paid no attention to them as they opened
the door and went in.
"Vincent!" said Polly. "Will you please write a cheque for Angelica at
once?"
Then he laid down his pen and looked at them for a long time in
contemptuous silence.
"I told her," he said, "just what I shall tell you. I have no money."
"But, Vincent, a cheque——”
He smiled, pulled a cheque-book out of his pocket, and wrote. Tearing
out a leaf, he handed it to Angelica. She stared at it.
"What do you mean?" she cried.
Polly looked over her shoulder.
"Please don’t joke, Vincent," she said. "Please give her what is due
her."
For he had drawn a cheque for ten thousand dollars.
"My dear Polly, any cheque I wrote would be equally ridiculous. There’s
nothing in the bank."
"Then where is it, Vincent?"
"I’ve told you. My investments——”
"But my income? Surely that——”
He began to show irritability.
"I tell you," he said, "that it’s all gone. Now, for God’s sake, my dear
soul, go away! Can’t you see I’m trying to write?"
"But my income——”
"Oh, you and your damned income!" he shouted. "You women and your
beastly greed! Haven’t you any soul? Can’t you think of anything but
money?"
"No, I can’t, Vincent, just now. It’s a very serious matter," said
Polly, gravely.
He jumped up with an oath.
"It’s disposed of for the next two years," he cried. "You left it to my
judgment. I’ve used my judgment. And now you come whining and sniveling
about your handful of pennies. By God, I’m entitled to it! The whole
thing doesn’t amount to what you cost me in a month—your clothes and
your——”
"Never mind that, please. Do you mean that we can’t pay Angelica?"
"Good God! Is your head made of wood? Or are you getting senile?"
Polly went on, as unheeding of his gross rudeness as a rock is of the
spray that dashes over it. Quiet and resolute, she pursued her
investigations. Her money was her life, her peace, her freedom, her
dignity; she knew that she could not earn any more, and that there was
no other man to give it to her. She must have it!
Angelica observed her with profound admiration. Even to further her own
best interests, even, she fancied, to save her own life, she couldn’t
have remained so calm, so self-controlled.
"Do you mean," she went on, "that we have nothing?"
"I do not! We have all sorts of things—paintings, books, your jewelry.
Simply we have no money. Now let me alone!"
"But what do you propose doing?" she asked. "We can’t go on, like this,
without a penny. How do you propose to pay Angelica?"
He raised his upper lip in a brutal sort of sneer.
"Oh, you don’t know, do you? Of course not! You’re perfectly innocent,
aren’t you? You never suspected, did you, who it was paid for the
clothes on your back? It’ll be such a shock to you, dear soul! In our
need we shall have to turn to Eddie! He’ll pay Angelica, he’ll pay me,
and he’ll pay you. God bless Eddie!"
That blow told. Polly winced under it. She turned away slowly and went
out of the room. Angelica followed her, and, looking back from the
doorway, she saw Vincent writing again.
Angelica had started an avalanche. She was deeply impressed and
interested. She had no desire to go now; she wished to see the
tremendous end.
Events moved with satisfactory speed. Polly went at once to Mrs.
Russell’s room, to find her just arrived at home from a Stricken
Belgium card-party. They closed the door; they were shut in there a long
time together. They must, of course, have summoned by telephone the two
unhappy and disturbed gentlemen who came in a motor-car later in the
afternoon.
When these came, they all went into the library, where Vincent still
sat. There was a dreadful scene. The newcomers were Polly’s lawyer and
the trustee of her first husband’s estate, and they at once attacked
Vincent. The trustee was non-legal and devoid of wise caution; he
shouted threats at Vincent, and Vincent cursed him in the voice of a
bull. He was beside himself with fury. The lawyer tried to frighten them
both into silence, but he was himself so appalled and outraged by their
ignorance of what was and what wasn’t libelous that his arguments were
weak.
Polly was distressed, but resolute.
"No!" she implored the raging trustee. "No, Frank, don’t, please! Only
find out just what has happened and see what you can save for me. Don’t
trouble to quarrel with him."
Vincent turned on her.
"Yes!" he screamed in a high, hysterical voice. "Yes! You’ll fight to
defend your money, at least! You don’t care about anything else. It
never pierced your damned self-satisfaction when I was off with other
women——”
"Vincent!" said his mother in a low, shocked voice.
"Very well! Very well!" he cried. "I don’t mind them knowing. I did take
her miserable little income and spend it on other women. For God’s sake,
who wouldn’t? Look at her! Do you think she——”
"Just tell him, please," said Polly to the lawyer, "that I intend to
leave him immediately and to obtain a divorce, and that he must give up
any authority he ever got from me."
"That will be arranged, Mrs. Geraldine," said the lawyer.
Suddenly Mrs. Russell began to cry.
"Oh, Polly!" she said. "Don’t give the poor boy up! Give him another
chance! Oh, do, do, do!"
She stopped suddenly. Vincent, too, stopped his violence and his curses.
Eddie had come in.
Eddie’s peculiar power had never before been so unmistakably
demonstrated. He had never before had such an opportunity for showing
how much of a man he was. He was master of the situation, master of
every one. He brushed aside the clamour, the furious arguments; he
wished only for information, and he knew how to get it.
He addressed himself chiefly to the lawyer, with now and then a question
to Polly. He listened carefully, and one could almost read in his face
the functioning of his just and clear mind.
Angelica watched him through the keyhole. This wasn’t her Eddie, who
stammered in her presence, who could be roused by a single look from her
black eyes. Here was a man quite beyond her influence, immeasurably
superior to her, a man undeniably fine.
She listened to him speaking. He addressed Vincent with a quiet,
dispassionate sort of contempt; he told him that he would return to
Polly what Vincent had stolen from her.
"And I will apologize to you, too," he said to Angelica, when he came
out of the library, "for all this that you’ve had to go through here in
my house. I think you’re quite right to leave. If you’ll go up-stairs
now, I’ll talk the matter over with these gentlemen. You and I can
discuss it later."
So it was over. The house was quiet again, and they were all shut in
their several rooms. Angelica went to Polly’s door and knocked.
"It’s Angelica," she said. "Anything I can do for you?"
Polly’s voice came, after a long interval, faint and mournful:
"No, thank you!"
So then where should she turn but, naturally, to Eddie? She was very
unhappy. She felt ashamed of herself now, terribly lonely, banished, and
disgraced. Of course Polly would tell Eddie—perhaps already had told
him—all that Angelica had told her, all about that disgraceful affair
with Vincent, and she would lose, or perhaps already had lost, Eddie’s
regard. Just when she needed it so, when she had been so cruelly
repudiated by Vincent!
"Well, anyway, I want to see him," she said to herself. "Anyway, he
won’t fly out at me, even if he thinks I’ve been awful!"
She couldn’t find him for a long time. She wandered about the house like
a lost soul; and then at last she came across him on the veranda,
sitting there smoking, in the chilly October evening.
"Mr. Eddie!" she said softly, from the doorway.
"Oh! Yes?" he answered pleasantly. "Is it you, Angelica? Do you want
anything?"
"I just wanted to speak to you——”
"Shall I come in?"
"I’ll come out," she suggested, glad of the chance to talk in the dark,
and groped her way to the corner where she saw the light of his cigar.
"It’s a dark night," he said.
"It’s—sad out here," said Angelica. "So—damp, and all."
"There’s a big storm coming. I wanted to speak to you, Angelica. I’m
very glad you came. I wanted—I’ve some money that’s due you. You see,
I’m going away to-morrow."
"Going where?"
"To a training-camp—before I go to France, you know."
"Oh, dear!" she cried, with quite genuine dismay. "Oh, Mr. Eddie, I am
sorry! I hate to have you gone!"
"I don’t like to go," he admitted, simply. "And especially I don’t like
to leave you like this. I wish that it could have been different."
She waited a moment.
"I suppose I better be going to-morrow, too," she said.
"I suppose so. There’s nothing more for you here, Angelica. Polly’s
going away, you know, and——”
"Mr. Eddie!" she cried. "Tell me! Tell me, honestly, do you think I—it
was my fault? If you’d only please tell me everything they told
you—Mrs. Geraldine, and all! What did she say about me—and—that?"
"Polly?" he asked. "She didn’t say anything about you at all, except
that she liked you very much, and that she thought Vincent had behaved
very badly toward you."
"My Gawd!" said Angelica under her breath. "She never told him! He don’t
know a thing!"
"I don’t blame you at all," he said. "Not in any way. You lost your
temper—perhaps you lost your head a little—but you had great
provocation. You see, Angelica, Vincent came to me and explained the
whole thing. I must say he was very candid—and fine about it. He told
me frankly that he had tried to—mislead you, and that you refused to
listen to him; and that that was the reason he behaved so badly to you.
Of course, he has behaved badly, all around,—shamefully; but
still—he has good points. I thought it was a—a plucky sort of thing to
do, you know, especially when we were on such bad terms. He said he
couldn’t bear to think of your being blamed in any sort of way."
Angelica was amazed and delighted that she had been made into a
persecuted heroine. She was filled with admiration for Vincent’s
nobility; and yet she could dimly perceive that there was something
behind it, that he gained something he wanted by this false confession.
It seemed a miracle that Eddie had been spared, both by him and by
Polly, those very facts which Angelica was so anxious for him not to
know.
"He said he was sorry for the whole thing," Eddie went on. "He begged
me to try to influence Polly to give him another chance. I couldn’t do
that. I simply said I’d tell her exactly what he had said, and what he’d
done. I did. I had a long talk with her; but she’s finished with him.
She didn’t say a word against him, but—she’s finished with him."
"But is it that—about me? Is that the reason she’s leaving him?"
Angelica asked, with anxiety.
"No! As far as that goes, there are plenty of things far worse—in that
line, you know. No! I think it’s chiefly about the money. She says she
couldn’t trust him again. She says it’s impossible to live with him
under such conditions. I suppose it is. Anyway, she’s absolutely
determined to leave him."
Angelica sat in silence, more utterly wretched than ever. Had Vincent
just sacrificed himself for her? Did he really love her? And for his
love was he to be utterly cast out?
"No!" she said suddenly, aloud.
"No what?" asked Eddie.
"Nothing. I was just thinking. There comes the rain!" she cried. "Gosh,
what a storm!"
They both got up, to push back their chairs against the wall of the
house, but even there it reached them—the spray from the rain falling
in straight, heavy lines, dashing against the earth with a fierce
drumming noise that filled the air and confused the senses. The smell of
the soil, the dead leaves, the grass, came to them with its own
invigorating freshness; and in spite of the chilly sprinkle in their
faces they lingered; fascinated by the noise, the wet odours, the great
black, uproarious void before them. They stood close together, their
shoulders touching, their backs against the wall.
"Angelica!" said Eddie’s voice in her ear, curiously flat and faint in
the surrounding din. "Angelica, can’t you? Just think—if I could only
know—while I’m away—that you—that you were waiting for me!"
"Eddie," she replied, "I couldn’t. Not now, anyway. Perhaps—later. I
don’t know."
"You mean—you think some day—it’s not impossible? You could, then?
I mean—I’m not repulsive to you?"
"Deary boy!" she protested. "Of course you’re not."
"Do you think you could—kiss me?" he asked. "I’m going away to-morrow."
She turned, put a hand upon his shoulder, and kissed him on the cheek.
"There!" she said. "Now you see!"
He didn’t move; stood there like a statue.
"I guess we’d better go in," she said. "We’re getting wet; and I’ve got
to pack up my things."
To go home! She began for the first time to imagine her home-coming, to
think of her future. This was all over; she would never get another such
job, never again be in a house like this, never again have a chance like
this!
She began to think of the kitchen, of the factory, of their suppers of
tea and bread and margarine, of her mother, listless and hopeless—all
of it hopeless—even Vincent. What could he ever do for her, even if he
had the inclination? Who was there on earth who cared to do anything for
her, who could give her in any way the things she craved? Panic
overwhelmed her.
"Eddie!" she cried. "I—could!"
He was suddenly galvanized into life.
"Could?" he cried. "Could what?"
"If you want—I’ll marry you!"
His arms went around her, pressing her tightly against his coat. A smell
of damp tweed and cigar-smoke filled her nostrils; she couldn’t see or
move at all, her head was so buried in his clumsy embrace.
"Oh, my darling!" he cried. "Oh, Angelica, to think that I have to go
now!"
"But I’ll be waiting for you," she said.
She stood on the front steps long after he was out of sight, lost in a
painful reverie. The rain was still falling steadily and violently,
without wind, from a pale gray sky. She watched it, absently, churning
the gravel walk, splashing up again from the puddles. What a desolate
and tremendous world that morning!
Eddie was really gone. She had said good-by to that generous and loyal
friend, had pressed his hand and tried to smile brightly after him. He
hadn’t wanted her to go to the railway-station with him.
"No," he had said. "Let’s say good-by here, in the place that’s going to
be our home."
He was in a bad state. He did all he knew to conceal it, but it was none
the less apparent to her that he was deeply troubled by the thought of
what lay before him, that he was most reluctant to go, unhappy, alarmed,
and a little puzzled. He was ashamed of all this, he wished to be a man,
like Vincent, and he naïvely believed that a true man was practically
devoid of any emotion, except love and anger.
Nevertheless, disturbed as he was, he didn’t for a moment neglect his
beloved Angelica’s interests. He wished to know how she was to get on.
"I’ll find another job," she said.
He didn’t object; he really considered that it would be best for her to
remain sturdily independent, under no obligation to him.
"I’ve made a will," he said hurriedly, "so that if I don’t come back,
you’ll be all right. In the mean time, if you do need anything, here’s
my lawyer’s address. I’ve told him to give you anything you ask for
without question."
Mrs. Russell, too, had gone. She had felt so upset by Eddie’s departure
and Polly’s cruel behaviour that she was obliged to take a ten-day
motor-trip with the doctor and Courtland. She hadn’t remembered to bid
Angelica good-by.
Polly, however, had been very, very kind. She had given Angelica several
little presents, which wasn’t her way, and she had spoken to her with a
sincere kindliness.
"My dear girl," she had said, "this has been a wretched thing for you. I
only hope it won’t really harm you. You mustn’t let it. Try to forget
it. Just now, perhaps, there’s a sort of glamour—but after you’ve been
gone for a while, I think you’ll see it all more clearly"—meaning
Vincent all the time, of course. "If only you could find some work that
you could put your heart into, Angelica—something you are suited to!
What do you think you’d like?"
"Well, I guess I’m going to marry Eddie——”
"Yes," said Polly, who didn’t think that would ever come to pass. "But
he may be gone for a long time; and meanwhile you’d like to show him,
wouldn’t you, what you can do?"
"I guess I’d like dressmaking and millinery," said Angelica.
"Very likely I can find some sort of opening for you. I know quite a
number of self-supporting girls. Keep in touch with me, be sure!"
The house was very quiet. There was nothing to distract her, and
Angelica was able to meditate at her leisure. She thought first of
herself and her return to her mother, of that "going back" which was so
difficult to this ardent spirit always eager to go forward.
She suffered under a terrible discontent and restlessness. She was
ashamed of the past, disgusted with the future. She felt that life, real
life, was ended; the adventure finished, the mysterious charm lost.
Try as she would, she could not keep her mind from straying to Vincent.
He was adventure and charm, life itself, for her. She told herself that
she was going to forget him. He had treated her very badly, and she was
done with him. She was going to marry Eddie and be done with Vincent
forever.
But she knew that she could not. Wouldn’t she see forever in her dreams
that big, arrogant man with his hawk-like face and his bright hair? He
had hurt her, but he had made her happy, too. He had come upon her with
violence. Everything about his brief love-making had been startling and
disturbing. She had often hated him, but she had always loved
him—always, from that moment when she had seen him standing in the
doorway of Mrs. Russell’s room.
Then she gave her attention to Eddie, with a queer soreness of heart.
She felt that she was taking advantage of Eddie; that he was too good
for her. She was so sorry for him, so full of affection and respect for
him—and so disinclined to think about him!
She fancied she saw coming the taxi which was to take her to the
station, and she ran up-stairs to fetch her bag. Her familiar room was
neat and desolate, with the green blinds pulled half-way down, the
bureau and dressing-table stripped bare, the bed covered over with a
sheet. All trace of her was obliterated. It saddened her; she took a
last glance at herself in the darkened mirror and went out, closing the
door behind her.
She almost ran into Annie, who had been on the point of knocking on her
door.
"Mr. Vincent says he’d like to see you in the music-room for a few
minutes," the maid said curtly.
"No!" said Angelica, and then, almost immediately: "Yes!"
After all, she ought to see him, after what he had done. She ought to
thank him. Even if she were going to marry Eddie, there was no harm in
that. In fact, Eddie would doubtless have approved of it.
"He won’t eat me," she said. "Let’s see what he’s got to say!"
She tried to prepare herself for anything, whether she found him
pleading, passionate, brutal, or depressed. She felt herself quite
strong enough to withstand any of his moods—stronger than he was.
She entered again that little music-room where Mrs. Russell had
interviewed her so long ago; but to-day it had taken on quite a new
character. He had pulled the shades up to the top of the windows, so
that the cold light of the rainy day came in to destroy the charm and
romance of the armour, the harp, and the orange-shaded lamp that had so
delighted her.
Vincent sat on the piano-stool, writing on the closed piano. He was
without a coat, in a gray flannel shirt and old blue trousers. His hair
was all on end, in wildest disorder, and his face, when he turned to
Angelica, was troubled and ecstatic. He looked boyish, very touching,
and his manner was altogether unstudied.
"Angelica!" he said. "Please listen to this! Just tell me—these few
lines—do you get a picture at all? I mean—just tell me exactly how it
makes you feel—not what you think of it, you know, but how you feel.
Sit down, please, and keep quiet. Now, you know, this is almost the end
of the thing—the chap’s losing his faith—before he has the vision.
It’s free verse, of course—an impression:
"Men crushed down, like worms under a heavy foot,
Half stamped into the mud, but the other half
Still squirming. Writhing corpses
With writhing wounds,
From which the blood squirts violently;
And over it all, in a cloud of mist, rose and gold,
Rides God.
God! God! God, the father of all these mutilated animals!
God Almighty, whose will it is to kill his sons in these hideous ways!
He sees everything. He hears everything. He hears their yells,
Their howls for pity and for death. He could stamp the worm
Quite out of existence;
Smear it into the ground so that it should be obliterated and
At peace;
But for His own good purposes, He lets it squirm!"
Angelica was quite stupefied; she had no clue, no dimmest idea what to
say. She didn’t even know whether this weird stuff was meant to be
funny. She thought it was and yet——
"You see," he went on, "it’s meant to be horrible. It is horrible, isn’t
it?"
"Sure!" said Angelica. "It is."
"Now wait!" he said peremptorily, and swung round again on the stool, to
continue his writing.
"Wait!" he muttered again. "Don’t go! I want you to hear this!"
She sat perfectly still for a long time. Then, suddenly, he groaned,
looked round at her with a sort of glare, and tore up his paper with an
oath.
"No!" he cried. "No! I can’t get it! Lord, it’s such torment!"
He buried his head in his hands.
"Angelica!" he said in a muffled voice. "Please come here!"
"What is it, Vincent?" she asked gently.
"Angelica! What’s going to become of me?" he asked huskily, his face
still hidden.
The question startled her.
"Why, I don’t know," she said. "I suppose you——”
"But I’m all alone!" he said in a sort of bewilderment. "They’ve all
left me, and you’re going, too!"
She didn’t dare to touch him, but her voice was a caress.
"Vincent, I’m sorry!"
He looked up and seized her hand.
"Oh, my love!" he said. "Aren’t we fools? Even to think of such a
thing as parting! You and I, Angelica, to part! It couldn’t be!"
"It’s got to be, Vincent," she answered, trying to withdraw her hand.
"No, it’s not. No, Angelica, you shan’t leave me!"
"Vincent!" she said. "Don’t! You’ve made enough trouble. Don’t make any
more."
"It’s you who are making the trouble. You’re breaking my heart, and your
own too—yes, yours! You can’t deny it! Every drop of blood in your body
tells you the same thing. You need me and you long for me as I need and
long for you."
"Please!" she said, beginning to cry. "You know I’m going to marry
Eddie."
"There’s no one else in the world but you and me. All other people, all
other things, are shadows—lies—folly! You are a woman and I am a man,
and we love each other. We cannot part!"
"I must!" she said desperately. "You know I must!"
"No! No! Only love me, Angelica, and care for nothing else. Oh, you
could not be so base and cowardly as to leave me!"
"Oh, Vincent!" she sobbed. "You talk like a fool! You know I can’t stay
here!"
"Look here!" he said. "Eddie gave me a hundred dollars. Come away with
me—now—this instant! Anywhere—it doesn’t matter. Just as we are,
friendless, homeless, penniless—just you and I, to make our way
together in the world."
She shook her head, the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Oh, why didn’t you let me alone?" she cried, forlornly.
"My girl, how could I? I couldn’t lose you," he said, surprised. "I
couldn’t let you go."
"But you must!"
"But I won’t!"
"If you do really love me, you won’t make me so miserable——”
"Angelica, I don’t love like that. I don’t care whether you’re unhappy
or not. I want you! I am mad for you! Even if it means your damnation
and ruin, on earth and in hell! I don’t care for anything but you—not
for God Himself!"
"Don’t talk like that!"
"It’s true. I know well what I’m doing. For you I’ve lost my immortal
soul. I haven’t a soul now. I love you as Satan loves. I want to drag
you down to hell with me!"
Angelica, however, was by no means so concerned with hell as she was
with this world.
"But think what would become of me!" she cried.
"Who cares?"
This viewpoint startled her.
"Well," she said, "I care."
"No, you don’t," he answered. "You only care for me."
She wished to argue, to defend herself; but it was too late. She was
lost. His words so appealed to the recklessness in her own nature, to
her devil-may-care heart, that she could not counter them. She loved
this man; her whole heart urged her blindly to follow him, to do what he
asked, to hurry gloriously to destruction.
She made a half-hearted effort to get away from him, but he only held
her closer. He looked down at her and laughed.
"No use!" he said. "You don’t want to go!"
Suddenly she flung her arms about his neck, and clung to him, looking up
into his bold eyes.
"All right!" she cried. "I don’t care!"