Gone, O my child, forsaking me, my flower!—
Yet I, forsaken, pity you with tears.
Gone, gone into the West; not you alone,
My son who are leaving me, but he, the child
Of five years back. That is the worst farewell—
I had not thought him lost until to-day.
For he had kept with me until to-day;—
Never seen, never heard; but he was there,
Behind the door on which I laid my hand,
Out in the garden when I sat within.
As others greet a presence, I did greet
An absence, O my sweet, my sweet surprise!
How will it be now? For he is so changed
I hardly knew the face I saw pass by.
And yet it is the one that must of needs
Grow from that long ago face innocent,
Grave with the presage of a human life.
So, child, giving again in thought my kiss,
My last long since, I kiss you tall and changed
In that one kiss, and kiss you a man and old,
And so I kiss you dead. And yet, O child,
O child, a certain soul goes from my days;
They fall together like a rosary told,
Not Aves now, but beads,—you being gone.
I was not worthy to be comfortless,
I find; and feasts broke in upon my fasts;
And innocent distractions and desires
Surprised me in my penitential tears.
22For my absent child, God gives me a child in Spring;
New seasons, and the fresh and innocent earth,
Ever new years, and children of the years
Kin to the young thoughts of my weary heart,
My kin in all the world. And He Himself
Is young in the quiet time of cold and snows:
Mary, who fled’st to Egypt with Him; Joseph;
And thou whose tomb I kissed in Padua,
Protect this perilous childhood in my heart!
It’s well I never guessed this thing before,—
I mean the weakness and the littleness
Of that which by God’s grace begins in me.
O earthly hopes and wishes, stay with me—
(He will be patient): linger, O my loves
And phases of myself, and play with this
New life of grace, as He Whose gift it is
With children played, a Child....
Less than I knew, less than I know, am I,
Returning childless, but, O Father, a child.