The drought was slow in breaking. Day after day
ragged-headed thunder pillars boiled up along the
southeastern horizon; and, drifting northward, inland,
in portentous procession as the afternoon advanced,
massed themselves as a mighty mountain range against
the sulky blue of the upper sky. About their flanks,
later, sheet lightning streaked and quivered, making the
hot night unrestful, as with the winking of malevolent
and monstrous eyes.
Owing to the lie of the land and the encircling trees,
this aerial drama was not visible from the Tower House.
But the atmospheric pressure, and nervous tension
produced by it, very sensibly invaded the great
woodland. The French window of Joanna Smyrthwaite's
bedroom stood wide open on to the balcony. She
had drawn an easy-chair close up to it, and, dressed
in her white woolen négligé, sat there in the half-dark.
She left the négligé unfastened at the neck, it being an
unsuitably warm garment to wear on so hot a night.
She was aware it caused her discomfort; despite which
she wore it. The pristine freshness of it was passed. It
was slightly soiled, and the knife-pleatings, losing their
sharpness of edge, sagged irregularly in places, like the
bellows of an old concertina. More than once
Mrs. Isherwood had declared, "Miss Joanna ought to buy
herself a new wrapper, or at any rate let this poor old
object go to the cleaners'." But Joanna refused, almost
angrily, to part with it even for a week. She gave no
reason for her refusal, but locked the insulted garment
away in a drawer of her wardrobe, whence she extracted
it with jealous tenderness after Isherwood had left
her at night. Then she wore it, if but for half an hour;
and, wearing it, she brooded, fondling her right hand,
which, upon two occasions, Adrian Savage had kissed.
At the opposite end of the lawn, in front of the tennis
pavilion, figures sauntered to and fro and voices were
raised in desultory talk. Amy Woodford giggled. The
elder Busbridge boy whistled "Yip-i-addy," and, losing
his breath, coughed. The odor of cigarettes mingled
with that of the trumpet-honeysuckle and jasmine
encircling the pillars of the veranda below the window.
Joanna neither looked at nor listened to the others.
Her eyes were fixed upon the circle of fir-trees, where
the dense plumed darkness of their topmost branches
met the only less dense darkness of the sky. And she
brooded. Once she kissed the hand which Adrian
Savage had kissed.
But the figures and voices came nearer. Amy Woodford,
her Oxford undergraduate brother, and the two
Busbridge boys were saying good-night. Their feet
tapped and scraped on the quarries of the veranda.
Somebody ran into a chair, toppled it over, gave a yelp,
and the whole company laughed. These playful
goings-on came between Joanna and her brooding. She
rose impatiently, crossed the room to her bureau, lighted
the candles, and sat down to write.
"August 21, 190-
"We are never alone. I try not to be irritable, but
this constant entertaining wears me out. It is contrary
to all the traditions of our home life. I cannot help
thinking how strongly papa would have condemned it.
Even mamma would have disapproved. I fear I am
wanting in moral courage and firmness in not expressing
disapproval more often myself; but Margaret always
imputes wrong motives to me and inverts the meaning
of that which I say. She cannot be brought to see that I
object on principle, and accuses me of a selfish attempt
to shirk exertion. She says I am inhospitable and
elusive. She even accuses me of being niggardly and
grudging my share in the increased household expenditure.
This is unjust, and I cannot help resenting it.
Yesterday I remonstrated with her, and our discussion
degenerated to a wrangle, which was painful and
unbecoming. To-day she has avoided speaking to me unless
positively obliged to do so. I feel I have failed in regard
to Margaret, and that I ought to have kept up a higher
standard since papa died and I became, virtually, the
head of the house. Margaret is entirely occupied with
amusement and with dress. This must be, in part, my
fault, though dear mamma always feared frivolous
inclinations in Margaret. It is all very trying. I doubt
whether Marion Chase's influence is good for her. I am
sure Mr. Challoner's is not. Marion is fairly well
educated, but is without cultivated tastes. Mr. Challoner is
not even well educated. They both flatter her and defer
to her wishes far too much. Other people flatter her
too, even serious persons, such as the Norbitons and
Mrs. Paull. I do not think I am jealous of Margaret, but I will
scrutinize my own feelings more closely upon this point.
"I am afraid the servants observe that she and I are
not on happy terms. This worries me. I dread the
household taking sides. Isherwood and Johnson, and, I
believe, Smallbridge are quite faithful to me. So is
Rossiter, though I cannot help attributing that mainly to
her dislike of the increased work in the kitchen. But
Margaret's new maid and her chauffeur—whose manner
I consider much too familiar—create a fresh element in
our establishment. They both are showy, and I mistrust
the effect of their companionship upon the younger
servants. I no longer really feel mistress in my own
house. My position is rendered undignified.
Sometimes I regret the old days at Highdene, or here,
before papa's death. But that is weak of me, even
hypocritical, since it is dread of responsibility rather
than affection for the past which dictates the wish.
I must school myself to indifference, and try more
earnestly to rise superior to these worries. I must look
forward rather than look back."
Joanna laid down her pen, held up her right hand,
kissed the back of it just above the ridge of the knuckles,
thrust it within the open neck of her négligé and, placing
her left hand over it, pressed it against her meager bosom.
"I must look forward," she said half aloud. "'Nothing
is changed between us.' He told me so himself the
night before he left. I must rest in that."
She got up and paced the length of the room for a
while, repeating—"I must rest in that, must rest in that."
A sound of voices still rose from the garden, now
a man's and a woman's in low and evidently intimate
talk. Joanna stood still. The note of intimacy
excited subconscious, unacknowledged envy within her.
She did not distinguish, nor did she attempt to
distinguish, the words said. The tones were enough. It
got upon her nerves to hear a man and woman speak
thus. A little longer and she felt she should be unable
to bear it—she must command them to stop.
She went back to her bureau again. Here, at a
distance from the window, the voices were less audible.
She sat down and forced herself to write.
"This is the second dinner-party we have given, or,
rather, which Margaret has given, within a week. I
absented myself, pleading neuralgia, and remained up-stairs
in the blue sitting-room. With the exception of Marion
and Mr. Challoner, it was a boy-and-girl party. I do
not feel at my ease in such company. I fail to see the
point of their slang expressions and their jokes, and I
do not understand the technical terms regarding games
which they so constantly employ. No doubt my dining
up-stairs will be a cause of offense, but I cannot help it.
If Margaret invites her own friends here so often she
must at least contrive sometimes to entertain them
without my assistance. I will try to dismiss this subject
from my mind. To dwell upon it only irritates me.
"I really needed to be alone to-night. I live stupidly,
from day to day. I feel that I ought to have a more
definite routine of reading and of self-culture. I ought
to spend the present interval in educating myself more
thoroughly for my future occupations and duties. I will
draw up some general scheme of study. And I will
keep my diary more regularly. I so seldom write now,
yet I know it is good for me. Writing obliges me to
be clear in my intentions and in my thought. I am
self-indulgent and allow myself to be too indefinite and
vague, to let my mind drift. Papa always warned me
against that. He used to say no woman was ever a
sufficiently close thinker. The inherent inferiority of
the feminine intelligence was, he held, proved by this
cardinal defect. I know my inclination has always
been toward too great introspection, and I regret now
that I have not striven more consistently after mental
directness and grasp. I have been reading the Révue
de Deux Mondes lately, feeling it a duty to acquaint
myself with modern French literature. The luminous
objectivity of the French mind impresses me very strongly—an
objectivity which is neither superficial nor unduly
materialistic. When listening to Adrian I was often
struck by this quality—"
Joanna laid down her pen once more. She sat still,
her hands resting upon the flat space of the desk on
either side the blotting-pad, her head thrown back and
her eyes closed. The voices in the garden had ceased, and
the silence, save for the shutting of a door in a distant
part of the house and the faint grinding of wheels and
bell of a tram-car on the Barryport Road, was complete.
For some minutes she remained in the same position, her
body inert, her inward activity intense. At last she raised
her hands as though in protest, and, bending down, fell to
work upon her diary again with a smothered violence.
"I have resisted the temptation to write about it till
now. I have been afraid of myself, afraid for myself.
But to-night I feel differently. I feel a necessity to refer
to it—to set it down in words, and to relieve myself of
the burden of the 'thing unspoken.' On former
occasions when I have been greatly harassed and troubled
I have found alleviation in so doing.
"I want to make it quite clear to myself that I have
never doubted consideration for me, a desire to spare me
distress and agitation, dictated Adrian's silence
regarding his sudden and unexpected departure. He knew
how painful it would be to me to part with him,
particularly after our conversation regarding Bibby. Seeing
how overwrought I had been by that conversation,
he wished to put no further strain upon me. I want to
make it quite clear to myself that the letter he left for us
with Smallbridge was all that good taste and courtesy
demanded. Yet it hurt me. It hurts me still. He
took pains to thank us for our hospitality and to express
his pleasure in having helped us through all the business
connected with our succession to papa's property. He
said a number of kind and friendly things. Few
persons could have written a more graceful or cousinly
letter. I know all this. I entertain no doubt of his
sincerity. Still the letter did hurt me. Margaret
appropriated it. It was addressed to her as well as to me,
so, I suppose, she believed herself to have a right to
take possession of it. And I am not sure I wished to
keep it. I could not have put it with his other letters,
since it only belonged to me in part. Yet I often
wonder what Margaret has done with it—thrown it into the
waste-paper basket most likely! And it is very dreadful
to think any letter of his has been thrown away or burned.
Just because it was only half mine I feel so bitterly about
it. I am afraid I have allowed this bitterness to affect
my attitude toward Margaret; but it is very painful
that she should share, in any degree, the correspondence
which is of such infinite value to me. I do accept the
fact that he acted in good faith, without an idea how
deeply so apparently simple a thing would wound me.
I excuse him of the most remote wish to wound me.
But I was, and am, wounded; and his letters since
then—there are five of them—have failed to heal the wound.
"It is dreadful to write all this down; but it is far
more dreadful to let it remain on my mind, corroding all
my thought of him. Not that it really does so. In my
agitation I overstate. 'Nothing is changed between us.' No,
nothing, Adrian—believe me, nothing. Yet in those
last five letters I do detect a change. They have not the
playful frankness of the earlier ones. I detect effort in
them. They are very interesting and very kind, I know;
still there is something lacking which I can only describe
as the personal note. They are written as a duty, they
lack spontaneity. He tells me he has been detained in
Paris, all the summer, by the illness—nervous
breakdown—of a former schoolfellow. He tells me of his
continued efforts to trace Bibby. But these are outside
things, of which he might write to any acquaintance. I
read and re-read these letters in the hope of discovering
some word, some message, actual or implied, addressed
to me as me, the woman he has so wonderfully chosen.
But I do not find it, so the wound remains unhealed.
"Yet how ungrateful I am to complain! To do so
shows me my own nature in a dreadful light—grasping,
impatient, suspicious. Innumerable duties and
occupations may so readily interfere to prevent his
writing more frequently or more fully! Why cannot I
trust him more? Is it not the very height of ingratitude
thus to cavil and to doubt?"
Overcome by emotion, Joanna left the bureau and
paced the room once more, her arms hanging straight at
her sides, her hands plucking at the pleatings of her
négligé. The heat seemed to her to have increased to an
almost unbearable extent, notwithstanding which she
clung to her woolen garment. Crossing to the
washing-stand, she dipped a handkerchief in the water and,
folding it into a bandage, held it across her forehead.
She blew out the candles and, returning to the open
window, sank into the easy-chair. The sky remained
unclouded, but in the last hour had so thickened
with thunder haze that it was difficult to
distinguish the tree-tops from it. Joanna gazed fixedly
at this hardly determinable line of junction. Presently
she began to talk to herself in short, hurried sentences.
"I know I told him I would wait. I believed I had
strength sufficient for entire submission. But I am
weaker than I supposed. I despise myself for that
weakness. But I cannot wait. He is my life. Without
him I have no life—none that is coherent and progressive.
My loneliness and emptiness, apart from my relation to
him, are dreadful. And lately jealousy has grown shockingly
upon me. I think of nothing else. I am jealous of
every person whom he sees, of every object which he
touches, of his literary work because it interests
him—jealous of the old schoolfellow whom he is nursing;
jealous of Bibby, for whom he searches; jealous of the
very air he breathes and ground on which he treads.
All these come between him and me, stealing from me
that which should be mine, since they are close to him
and engage his attention and thought."
Joanna stopped, breathless, and, closing her eyes,
lay back in the chair, while drops oozing from the wet
bandage trickled downward and dripped upon her thin
neck and breast.
"Now at last I am honest with myself," she whispered.
"I have spoken the truth—the hateful truth,
since it lays bare to me the inner meanness of my own
nature. I no longer palliate my own repulsive qualities
or attempt to excuse myself to myself. I admit my
many faults. I call them by their real names. Now,
possibly, I shall become calmer and more resigned. The
completeness of my faith in him will come back. And
then, some day in the future, when I tell him how I
repent of my suspicions and rebellious doubts, he will
forgive me and help me to eradicate my faults and make
me more worthy of the wonderful gift of his love."
Then she lay still, exhausted by her paroxysm of
self-accusation.
"Here you are at last! You do take an unconscionably
long time saying good-night! I nearly gave
up and went indoors to bed."
This chaffingly, from the terrace outside the veranda,
in Marion Chase's hearty barytone.
"I imagine people in our situation usually have a
good deal to say to each other."
Rustlings of silk and creakings followed, occasioned
by the descent of a well-cushioned feminine body into
a wicker chair.
"And pray, how far did you go with him?" still
chaffingly.
"Only to the end of the carriage-drive, and then into
the road for a minute to see the lightning. Really,
it's too odd—quite creepy. Looking toward the County
Gates, the sky seems to open and shut like the lid of a
box."
"I shouldn't mind its opening wider and giving
us some rain. It's too stuffy for words to-night. And
then he proceeded to walk back with you, I suppose?"
"No, he didn't, because I dismissed him. I can be
firm when I choose, you know; and I am sure it is
wisest to begin as I mean to go on. I intend to be my
own mistress—"
"And his master?"
"Doesn't that follow as a matter of course—a
'necessary corollary,' as Joanna would say? Too, I didn't
want to run the risk of meeting any of the servants
coming in. He is liable to be a little demonstrative
when we are alone, don't you know."
"Margaret!"
"Well, why not? I take demonstrations quite calmly
so long as they are made in private. It would be silly
to do otherwise. They're just, of course, part of
the—"
"Whole show?"
"Yes, if you like to be vulgar, Marion, and quote
the Busbridge boys—I limit my quotations to
Joanna—of the whole show."
After a short pause.
"Maggie, did you settle any dates to-night? I
thought he seemed preoccupied, as if he meant
business of some sort. You don't mind my asking?"
"Not in the least. He says he is bothered because
his position is an equivocal one."
"So it is." This very sensibly from Marion Chase.
"People begin to think you are simply mean to keep
him dangling."
"Do they? How amusing!"
"Not for him, poor beast." And both young women
laughed.
"He is wild to have the announcement made at once."
"In the papers, do you mean?"
"Yes, The Times and Morning Post, of course, and
two local ones. He suggests the Stourmouth and
Marychurch Chronicle and the Barryport Gazette. I should
have thought the Courier ranked higher, but he says
it's not nearly so widely read as the Chronicle. Then
we ought to put it in a Yorkshire paper as well, I think."
"How awfully thrilling!"
At first to Joanna, at the open window above, still
laboring with the aftermath of her gloomy outbreaks of
passion, this conversation had been but as a chirping of
birds or squeaking of bats. Such slipshod telegraphic
chatterings between the two young ladies, obnoxious
alike to her taste and scholarship, were her daily
portion. Joanna had scornfully trained herself to ignore
them. She could not prevent their assailing her ears;
but she could, and as a rule did, successfully prevent
their reaching her understanding.
To-night, however, strained and on edge as she was,
her will proved incapable of prolonged effort, and
indifference was unsustainable. Gradually the manner
of the speakers and significance of that which they said
mastered her unwilling attention. Surprise followed on
surprise. She knew how the two friends talked in her
presence. Was this how they talked in her absence,
disclosing—especially in the case of her sister—an attitude
of mind, let alone definite purposes and actions, of which
she had been in total ignorance? And—to carry the
question a step farther—did this connote corresponding
ignorance on her part in other directions? Was she,
Joanna, living in worlds very much unrealized, where all
manner of things of primary importance remained
unknown to or misinterpreted by her?
The thought opened up vistas packed with agitation
and alarm. Self-defense admits few scruples; and it
appeared to poor Joanna just then that every man's hand
was against her. Living in the midst of deceptions, what
weapon except deceit—and in this case deceit was tacit
only—remained to her? Her sense of honor, and along
with it the self-respect in which the roots of honor are
set, went overboard. Instead of leaving the window
and refusing to hear more, Joanna stayed. A morbid
desire to know, to learn all that which was being kept
from her, to get at the truth of these lives lived so close
to her own, to get at the truth of their opinion of her,
seized upon her.
She took the moist handkerchief off her forehead, and,
slipping noiselessly out of her chair, knelt upon the rug
laid along the inner side of the window-sill, craning her
neck forward so that no word of the conversation might
escape her.
"Personally, as I told him, I was in no particular
hurry."
"Pleasant news for him!" Marion Chase returned.
"But I'm not. There are several good reasons for
waiting—our mourning for one thing. And then the
question of a house. Heatherleigh's not large enough,
or smart enough—all very well for a bachelor
establishment, I dare say. What I should like is this
house; but I doubt whether Joanna would give it up,
though it really is altogether too extensive a place for
her alone. I don't mean that she could not afford to
keep it up. She could afford to; but it would be
ostentatious, ridiculously out of proportion for an
unmarried woman."
Joanna's indignation nearly flamed into speech. She
moved impatiently, causing the chair behind her to
scrape on its casters.
"What was that?" from Marion Chase.
"A fir-cone falling probably. It's hotter than ever.—No,
I haven't the smallest intention of not going through
with this business; but I'm in no hurry. Things are
quite amusing as they are."
"I believe you enjoy taking people in, you wicked
old thing."
"If keeping quiet about my own affairs is taking
people in, I suppose I do enjoy it. And then, of course,
you see I am bound to tell Joanna first. There's no
help for that—"
"Magsie, you know her windows are open? You
don't think we can be overheard?"
"No; it's all right. I looked when I came back.
There's no light. Either she's still in the blue sitting-room
or she's gone to bed. Too, I must do her the justice
to say Joanna is not the sort of person who listens. She
would consider it wrong."
Joanna drew back and was on the point of rising.
Again the chair scraped.
"And then she would never condescend to listen to
anything I might happen to be saying. There is a
compensating freedom in being beneath notice!"
Joanna remained on her knees at the open window.
"I own I most cordially dislike the idea of telling her,"
Margaret continued. "I know she will be unreasonable
and say things which will lead to all sorts of disputes
and disagreeables between us."
"Oh! but she must know perfectly well already, only
she means to make you speak first," the other returned.
"It's too absurd to suppose she hasn't spotted what's
been going on. Why, his state of mind has been patent
for ages. She can't be off seeing."
"I don't believe for a single moment she does see.
She's so frightfully self-absorbed and self-occupied. You
know yourself, Marion, how extraordinarily obtuse she
can be. She lives in the most hopeless state of dream—"
Joanna swayed a little as she knelt and laid hold of
the folds of the striped tabaret window-curtain for
support.
"I know she always has been inclined to dream; but
recently it has grown upon her. For me to say anything
to her about it is worse than useless. She only sits
upon me, and then we 'have words,' as Isherwood says.
At bottom Joanna is awfully obstinate. In many ways
she reminds me very much of papa; only, being a
woman, unfortunately one can't get round her as one
could round him. People are beginning to notice
what an odd, moody state she is in. Mrs. Norbiton said
something about it when they dined here on Monday.
She said Joanna seemed so absent-minded, and asked
whether I thought she wasn't well. And Colonel Haig
mentioned it to me the afternoon we had tea with him
at the golf club. That really led to his telling me what
he had heard in Paris."
"Telling you—oh, I remember! What he had heard
about Mr. Savage?" Marion Chase remarked.
Joanna got on to her feet, went out on to the balcony,
and hung over the red balustrade into the hot, thick
darkness.
"Margaret!" she called. "Margaret, I must speak to
you. Please come to my room. It is something urgent.
Come at once."
When Margaret Smyrthwaite entered her sister's
bedchamber she brought the atmosphere of a perfumer's
shop along with her. Under the elder and sterner
reign scent-sprays and scent-caskets were unknown at
the Tower House, Montagu Smyrthwaite holding such
adjuncts to the feminine toilet in hardly less abhorrence
than powder or paint itself. A modest whiff of aromatic
vinegar or of eau-de-Cologne touched the high-water
mark of permitted indulgence. But in the use of
perfumes, as in other matters, Margaret—so Mrs. Isherwood
put it—"had broke out sadly since the poor old
gentleman went." The intellectual streak common to
the Smyrthwaite family had from the first been absent
in the young lady's composition; while the morbid
streak, also common in the family, was now cauterized,
if not actually eliminated, by the sunshine of her seven
thousand a year. A North-country grit, a rather foxy
astuteness and a toughness of fiber—also inherited—remained,
however, very much to the fore in her, with the
result that she would travel—was, indeed, already
traveling—the grand trunk road of modern life without
hesitation, or apology, or any of those anxious questionings
of why, wherefrom, and whither which beset persons
of nobler spiritual caliber.
In the past few months she had shed the last uncertainties
of girlhood. She had filled out and was in act of
blossoming into that which gentlemen of the Challoner
order, in moments of expansion, not without a cocking
of the eye and moistening of the lip, are tempted to
describe as a "d—d fine woman." Now the light of the
candle she carried showed the rounded smoothness of
her handsome neck and arms, through the transparent
yoke and sleeves of her black evening blouse, touched
the folds and curls of bright auburn hair upon her
forehead, and brought the hard bright blue of her eyes into
conspicuous evidence. A deficiency of eyelash and
eyebrow caused her permanent vexation. This defect
she intended to remedy—some day. Not just at
present, however, as both Joanna and Isherwood
were too loyally wedded to the aromatic vinegar
and eau-de-Cologne régime for such facial reconstructions
to pass without prejudiced and aggravating comment.
Advancing up the room, all of a piece and somewhat
solid in tread, she offered a notable contrast to Joanna,
who awaited her palpitating and angular, ravaged by
agonies and aspirations, indignantly trembling within
the sagged knife-pleatings of her soiled white négligé.
The rough copy and édition de luxe, as Adrian had dubbed
them, just then very forcibly presented their likeness and
unlikeness; yet, possibly, to a discerning eye, the rough
copy, though superficially so conspicuously lacking in
charm, might commend itself as the essentially nobler
of these two human documents.
"What is the matter, Joanna?" the édition de luxe
inquired. "Why couldn't you send Isherwood to say
you wanted to speak to me? It's fortunate Marion's
and my nerves are steady, for your calling out gave us
both an awful start."
"I did listen," the other returned, in a breathlessness
of strong emotion. "I was sitting at the window in
the dark when you began talking. At first I paid no
heed; but, as your conversation went on, I found it
bore reference to matters which you are keeping from me
and with which I ought to be acquainted. I found it
concerned me—myself. I offer no apology. I acted in
self-protection. I listened deliberately."
Margaret laid the magazines and illustrated fashion
papers, she carried under her arm, upon the slab of the
open bureau. She set down her flat candlestick beside
them, thus creating a triad of lighted candles—unlucky
omen!
"Then, Nannie," she said, coolly, "you did something
which was not at all nice."
The word stung Joanna by its grotesque inadequacy
either to the depth of her sufferings or of her transgression
against the laws of honor. To range at the tragic level,
in relation to both, would have afforded her consolation
and support. Margaret denied such consolation by
taking her own stand squarely upon the conventional and
commonplace. Joanna's transgression began to show
merely vulgar. This compelled her to descend from
tragic heights.
"Am I to understand that you really are engaged to
Mr. Challoner?" she therefore asked, without further
preamble.
"If you listened you must have gathered as much, I
imagine," Margaret said.
"I did—I did, but I refused to believe it. I thought I
must be mistaken. I was unprepared for such news. It
came to me as such a shock, such a distressing surprise."
"Really, it's quite your own fault, Joanna," Margaret
returned. "What did you suppose he'd been coming
here for constantly?"
"Not for that—"
"Thank you!" Margaret said.
"You know I have always objected to his being here so
much. I tried to prevent it. I feared it might lead to
gossip. I felt you did not consider that seriously enough.
It is so dreadful that what we do or say should be
commented upon. Until the business connected with the
property was settled I recognized a necessity for
Mr. Challoner's frequent visits, but not since then, not for
the last three months. I am quite willing to admit his
good points. I quite believe he has served us faithfully
in business.—Pray do not suppose I underrate his
services in that respect. But I never supposed he could
presume to propose to you, Margaret."
"I don't see anything presumptuous in his proposing.
He admires me very much. Is it such an unheard-of
thing that he should wish me to marry him?"
"No—no—but that you should give him encouragement.—For
you must have encouraged him—"
"And"—with disconcerting composure from the édition
de luxe—"why not?"
Joanna began to pace the room restlessly in her trailing
draperies.
"Because—because"—she said—"your own instinct
must tell you what an unsuitable marriage this would be
for you—for our parents' daughter, for my sister. I
don't want to be selfish, Margaret, but I have a right to
consider my own future to some extent; and Mr. Challoner—I
dislike to seem to deprecate him—it is invidious
to do so—indeed, it is intensely distasteful to me to point
out his peculiarities—but when I think of him as a
brother-in-law—his antecedents, his standard of
manners and conversation strike me as so different to those
to which we have always been accustomed. I cannot
avoid seeing this. It is so very palpable. Others must
see it too—members of our family, I mean, with whom
we are, or may in the future be, intimately associated."
In her excitement clearness of statement failed somewhat.
Margaret stood listening, calmly obstinate, her
head a little bent, while she straightened the magazines
and picture papers lying on the slab of the bureau with
her finger-tips.
"I didn't for one moment imagine you would be
pleased at my engagement—that's why I have not told
you sooner. I was sure you'd be disagreeable about it.
And you are disagreeable, Joanna, very disagreeable
indeed. Like most people who plume themselves on
being very high-minded, you end by being very
vulgar-minded and worldly. I quite expected this tone from
you; and so I put off telling you as long as possible.
Even now, you must remember, you have surprised
my confidence. I have not given it voluntarily. Useless
discussions, such as this, bore me."
"Useless?" Joanna interrupted.
"Quite useless, unless I happen to change my mind,
which I shall not do. I have considered things all round.
I have talked everything over with Marion. You must
make what you like of it, Joanna; but I am going to
marry Challoner."
The scriptural Christian name annoyed her as suggesting
possibilities of humorous retrospect. The "mister"
under existing romantic circumstances savored of
underbred, middle-class ceremony. So she struck for
the surname, pure and simple, thereby conferring, in
some sort, the noble conciseness of a title upon her
admirer.
"I don't share your very exalted opinions of our
position and importance," she continued. "Papa was a
successful Yorkshire mill owner. Challoner is the head
of a firm of successful South-country solicitors. You
talk of his antecedents. His father was a very
enterprising man, who built up the business here which he
has carried on and developed. Everybody in this part
of England knows who Challoner, Greatrex & Pewsey
are. The firm's reputation is above suspicion. They
opened a branch office four years ago at Southampton,
and one last year at Weymouth. Really, I can't see
what you have to object to on the score of position,
Joanna? Andrew Merriman's grandfather was only a
mill-hand."
"You need not have alluded to that," the other cried,
sharply. Then, fighting for self-control, she added,
"You know quite well it is a marriage you would
never have thought of making while papa was living."
"And you know equally well, Nannie, it was utterly
hopeless to think of any marriage whatever when papa
was alive. We hardly ever saw a man. Papa snubbed
every one who came near us. No one dared propose,
even if they wished to do so. Remember all the Andrew
Merriman business?"
"Pray don't refer to that again," Joanna said.
"I only wanted to give you an instance—Nannie,
would you mind sitting down? It makes me so dreadfully
hot to watch you roaming about in that way. We
could talk ever so much better if you would only keep
still.—And there is a great deal which has to be talked
over some time. As we have begun to-night, we may
as well go on and get through with it. The heat makes
me fidgety. I'm not inclined to go to bed."
Thus admonished, Joanna sank into the easy-chair
once more. She doubled herself together, working her
hands nervously, ball-and-socket fashion, in her lap.
The perception that this was a new Margaret, a
Margaret wholly unreckoned with, grew upon her. And along
with that perception an apprehension of fronting things
unknown yet of vital significance, things which, when
known, must inevitably color all her future outlook,
grew upon her likewise. As yet the screen of ignorance,
dense though impalpable as the dense thunder-thickened
sky there outside, interposed between her and those
fateful things veiling them. But Margaret, the new,
composed, practical, highly perfumed Margaret, was in
act of drawing that screen aside. Then what would
she, Joanna, see? What concourse of cruel verities
lurked behind, waiting to jump on her?—Asking herself
this, she shivered, notwithstanding the heat of the
atmosphere and of her woolen gown, with premonition
of coming chill—chill of loneliness, chill of disaster, of
which such loneliness was at once the bitter flower and
the root.
Her sister had followed her to the window, and stood
just within it, nonchalant and comely, fanning herself
with a little fan hanging by a ribbon from her waistband.
The silver spangles upon the black gauze sparkled
sharply in the candle-light, and the ebony sticks ticked
as she waved it to and fro.
"I do so wish you wouldn't make a tragedy of all
this, Nannie," she said. "But of course I knew you
would, because you always think it your duty to get into
a wild state of mind over everything I say or do. It
would be so much more comfortable for both of us if you
could get it into your head once and for all that you're
not responsible for me in any way. We are equals.
We're the same age—you always seem to forget that—and
I'm quite as competent to manage my affairs as
you are to manage yours. You have no authority over
me of any description, legal or moral, none whatsoever,
you know."
"I am only too well aware that I have failed to
influence you, Margaret," Joanna returned, while waves
of scented air, set in motion by the black and silver
fan, played upon her face. "I had been thinking of
that to-night, before I overheard your and Marion's
conversation. I had been reproaching myself. I know
we are the same age; but our dispositions are different,
and I have always occupied an elder sister's position
toward you. It is very distressing to me to realize
how entirely I have failed to influence you. This
contemplated marriage of yours gives the measure of my
non-success."
"Oh! dear me! Influence—failure—really, you know,
Nannie, you are most awfully provoking!" the other
exclaimed. "I don't want to lose my temper and be
cross, but I am so frightfully sick of this whole
responsibility mania. It's been the bugbear of our lives ever
since we were children. Papa and mamma sacrificed
themselves and sacrificed us to it, with the result that
we've always been in an unnatural attitude, like dogs
trying to walk on their hind legs."
"Margaret, Margaret!" Joanna protested, scandalized
by the filial profanity of the suggested picture.
"So we have, Nannie. And in what has this everlasting
preaching of responsibility ended? Why, simply
in making papa believe he was doing right by being rude
and arrogant and dreadfully disagreeable over trifles.
In making mamma a hopeless invalid. In ruining Bibby,
body and soul, making him untruthful and dishonest,
and inclined to do all sorts of horrid, ungentlemanly
things. Hush? No, I am not going to hush, Joanna.
You asked me to come here, and you asked me a question.
Now you really must listen till I have said all I have to
say in answer. I want to get it over. It's far too
unpleasant to go through twice. And this mania about
responsibility has been disastrous for you too—you
know that perfectly well. It has spoiled your life by
keeping you in a perpetual state of fuss and worry, and
of dissatisfaction with your own conduct and
everybody else's. As for me, it made me hysterical and
fretful, and deceitful too. How could one help being
deceitful when one was always dodging some silly trumped-up
fault-finding or bother? I believe it would have broken
up my nerves altogether if it had gone on much longer.
And what on earth does it all mean? What were we
responsible for? Who were we responsible to?" she
went on contemptuously. "I don't know. And I don't
believe you know either, Joanna, if you would only use
your common-sense and give up worshiping words and
phrases. The whole thing is nonsense, and rather lying
nonsense—just a pretending to oneself that one is
better and cleverer than other people. When you come
to think of it, this craze for superiority is so frightfully
conceited! For who cares, or ever has cared, whether
we Smyrthwaites were intellectual, and high-minded,
and cultured, and well-read, and all the rest of it, or not?
In my opinion the system on which our parents brought
us up, and on which their parents brought them up, is
nothing but an excuse for self-adulation and pharisaism.
I am sick to death of the whole thing, and I mean to break
away from it. And the simplest way to do so is to marry
Challoner. He's about as far away from it all as
anybody well can be—just a modern, practical man, who
cares for real things, not for advanced thought, and
reform, and political economy, and questions of morals, and
so on. He isn't a bit intellectual. He only reads the
newspapers, or an occasional novel in the train when
he's traveling, I am thankful to say. And, I am awfully
glad he belongs to the Church of England, for I mean to
break with the Unitarian Connection, Joanna. I don't
care about doctrine one way or another; but I can
see how narrow-minded and exclusive it makes people
when they belong to a small sect. Unitarians are always
so frightfully pleased with themselves because they
believe less than other people. They're always living up
to their own cleverness in not believing; and it does
make them awfully hind-leggy and boring.—And then,
of course, being a Nonconformist cuts one out of a lot.
Socially it is no end of a disadvantage to one. It didn't
signify so much in the North, but here it has stood
horridly in our way. Lots of nice people would have
called on us when we first came if we hadn't been
dissenters. And, please understand, I mean to know
everybody now and be popular. I should enjoy giving
away prizes and opening bazaars, and entertaining on a
big scale, and taking part in all that goes on here. It
would amuse me. I can give large subscriptions,
and I mean to give them. As I say, I intend to
be popular and to be talked about. I intend to
make myself a power in the place. And then,
Joanna, there's something more—I dare say you'll
think it necessary to be scandalized—but there's
this—"
She stopped fanning herself, and looked out into the
hot darkness, smiling, a certain luster upon her smooth
skin and a fullness about her bosom and her lips. Her
voice took on richer tones when she spoke.
"I want to marry, and I mean to marry. I am nine
and twenty, and I'm tired of not knowing exactly what
marriage is. So I'm not going to wait, and hawk myself
and my fortune about on the chance of a smarter match.
I have decided to be sensible and make the best of what I
have—namely, Challoner. I don't pretend he is perfect.
I take him as he stands. After all, he is only just forty
and he is in excellent health. I care about that, for I
dislike sickly people, especially men. They're always
horridly selfish and fanciful. Either they oughtn't to
marry at all or ought to marry hospital nurses.—Then
Challoner is making a good income. We've talked quite
frankly over the money question. And then—then—"
For the first time she showed signs of slight embarrassment,
laughing a little, pursing up her lips and fanning
herself again lightly.
"Then," she repeated, "he is desperately in love with
me, and I enjoy that. I want more of it. It interests
and amuses me. It is exciting to find one can twist a
great, hard-headed fellow like Challoner round one's
little finger; make him go hot and cold, grow nervous
and all of a tremor just by a word or a look. He is like
so much dough in my hands. I can shape him as I like.
There's nothing he wouldn't do to please me. Oh! yes,
he is desperately in love with me!"
This drawing back of the interposing screen and
exhibition of the Smyrthwaite tradition and system,
stripped to the skin, stripped, indeed, to an almost
primordial nothingness, had been richly distressing to poor
Joanna. For was not she intrinsically the product and
exponent of the said tradition and system? Did it not
stand for the loom upon which the whole pattern of her
character and conduct was woven? In thus stripping
the system, she was painfully conscious that Margaret
stripped her also to a like miserable nakedness and
nothingness. For, admitting the laws which she had been
brought up to reverence, and to obey which she had
trained herself with such unsparing diligence, were
nugatory, what remained to her for guidance or
inspiration? Admitting her strenuously acquired mental
attitude and habit to be but senseless posturing, as of
dancing dogs, how deplorably she had wasted herself
upon that which profiteth not! If the formative
processes of her education and culture represented nothing
better than laborious subscription to exploded fallacy,
must she not make a return, with all possible speed, upon
whatever remnant of unalloyed instinct and spontaneous
purpose might still be left in her? But how to make such
a return? How to reform, to recreate, her attitude and
outlook?
These questions assailed Joanna, bewildering alike in
their multiplicity and intricacy. The wheels of her
over-taxed brain whizzed and whirred. For the curse of the
system-ridden, of the pedant, of the doctrinaire, is loss
of clear-seeing simplicity, of initiative, of that power
of direct and unaided action which is the reward of
simplicity. Stripped of encompassing precept and precedent,
deprived of sustaining prejudice, Joanna found herself
naked and helpless indeed. She ran wildly in search
of fresh precept and precedent in which to clothe herself.
And found them, after a fashion normal and natural
enough had they happened to be grounded in fact
instead of in most pitiful illusion.
For as, distressedly watching her sister's rather
cynical exposure of the family tradition, she asked
herself—in face of the said exposure—what to her,
personally, remained, she answered that Adrian Savage
remained. And thereupon proceeded with all the
intensity and pent-up passion of her morbidly introspective
nature to fling herself upon the thought of that delightful
young man and his matrimonial intentions. Hounding
out doubts, furiously repressing misgivings, she grappled
herself to belief in Adrian with hooks of iron, chained
herself to it with links of steel, drank from the well of
splendid promise which it offered to the verge of
inebriety. In him she hailed her savior. Adrian would
make good the wasted years. Adrian would teach her
where she had been mistaken, and where her intelligence
had gone astray. Adrian would instruct and counsel
her, would supply her with a rule of living at once just
and distinguished. Adrian would be gentle to her
errors—had he not shown himself so already on more than
one occasion?—would be sympathetic, playful and
charming even in merited rebuke. She heard his voice
once again. Saw him, in his habit as he lived, gallant,
courteous, eager yet debonair; and seeing, her poor
heart spilled itself upon the ground like water at his
conquering feet.
Joanna could sit still no longer. Her agitation was
too vital, too overmastering. She left the chair by the
window and began to roam to and fro, her hands plucking
at the pleatings of her dress, her pale, prominent
eyes staring fixedly, her lips parted, her expression rapt.
"'Because thou art more noble and like a king,'"
she quoted, silently, turning to the sonnets from the
Portuguese for adequate expression of her emotion.
"'Thou canst prevail against my fears and fling thy
purple round me.'"
The consequence of all of which was that she paid
scant attention to the concluding portion of her sister's
comprehensive argument in favor of her projected
espousal of Joseph Challoner, and only awoke from
the state of trance induced by her access of Adrian-worship
when the repetition of Margaret's assertion of
the violent character of Challoner's affection and the
slightly ambiguous laugh following that assertion struck
her ear. Then she turned upon the speaker with the
righteous wrath of one who hears sacred words put to
unworthy uses.
"Desperately in love?" she said harshly. "And do
you intend me to understand, Margaret, that you
are desperately in love with Mr. Challoner in return?"
"Oh dear, no!" the lady addressed replied calmly
enough. "Though if I were, I see no occasion for your
scolding me about it, Nannie.—What does make you so
restless and cross to-night? However, if you're
determined to be uncomfortable, I'm not—so I shall sit down
here in your chair. Did you see the lightning then? No,
I'm not the least silly about Challoner; but then I should
be very sorry to be silly about any man. I don't think
it dignified for a woman to be in a wild state of mind
about her fiancé. It's not nice. I like Challoner well
enough to marry him, and well enough not to mind
his making love to me. That's quite sufficient, I
think."
Jealous curiosity pricked Joanna. She stopped in
her agitated walk and stood stretching out her right
hand and gazing abstractedly at it.
"What—what precisely do you mean when you speak
of his making love to you, Margaret?" she said, in a thin,
urgent whisper.
"Really, for a person who plumes herself upon being
particularly refined you do say the most singular things,
Joanna!" the other exclaimed, laughing. "You can
hardly expect me to go into details. Making love is
making love."
"Kissing your hand—do you mean?" Joanna gasped,
in awestruck accents, a dry sob rising in her throat.
"One's hand? Why, anybody might kiss one's hand.
Challoner's proceedings, I'm afraid, are considerably
more unrestrained than that. But I positively can't go
into details. How extraordinary you are, Nannie!
Doesn't it occur to you there are questions which one
doesn't ask?"
Streaks of pain shot across the back of Joanna's right
hand, as though it were struck again and again with a
rod. Moaning, just audibly, she thrust it within the
open bosom of her white négligé, and laid her left hand
upon it, fondling it as one striving to soothe some sorely
wounded creature.
Margaret leaned back in the easy-chair, fingering her
little fan, a sleekness, a suggestion of almost animal
content in her expression and attitude.
"No, really I can't explain any further," she said,
laughing a little. "I'm quite hot enough as it is, and
refuse to make myself any hotter. You must wait till
somebody makes love to you, I'm afraid, Nannie, if you want
to know exactly what the process consists in. An
object-lesson would be necessary, and I am hardly equal to
supplying that."
Joanna's roamings had taken her as far as the door
leading on to the gallery. She waited, leaning against
it. The back of Margaret's chair was toward her, so
that she was safe from observation. For this she was
not sorry, as the pain in her hand was acute, particularly
upon the spot where Adrian's lips had once touched it.
There it throbbed and smarted, as though a live coal
were pressing into the flesh. Her face was drawn
with suffering. She dreaded to have her sister ask
what ailed her. But that young lady's thoughts
were quite otherwise engaged. She spoke presently,
over her shoulder. Her voice sounded curiously
cozy.
"This evening, when he said good-by to me, Challoner
lifted me right off my feet when he was kissing me. He
had never done so before. I liked it. It showed how
strong he is. I felt a wee bit nervous, but I enjoyed it
too. I revel in his strength. My ribs ache still.—There,
Nannie, is that little sample of love-making illuminating
enough?"
And, leaning against the polished surface of the
door, Joanna shivered, nursing and fondling her
burning hand.
The obscure psychological relation existing between
twins necessarily produces either peculiar sympathy
or peculiar opposition of tastes and sentiment.
The record of these twin sisters was of the discordant
sort. Unspoken rivalry and jealousy had divided them.
Unconsciously, yet unremittingly, they had struggled for
pre-eminence. At the present moment, in Joanna's case
these feelings combined to produce a sensation approaching
active hatred. As she leaned shivering against her
bedroom door, in the oppressive warmth of the summer
night, all her petty griefs and grudges against her more
attractive and popular sister complained in chorus. As a
child Margaret had been pretty and taking. At school,
though lazy and by no means clever, she had been petted
and admired. Such affection as Montagu Smyrthwaite
was capable of displaying he had displayed toward her.
"Margaret was sensitive, Margaret was delicate"—which
meant that Margaret knew just when to cry loud
enough to excite pity; just when to announce tiredness
or a headache, so as to escape unwelcome exertion.
She had, in short, reduced the practice of selfishness—so
Joanna thought—to a fine art.
And now, finally, to-night, not timidly with disarming
apology, but with flaunting assurance, Margaret dared
to infringe her—Joanna's—copyright in the wonder-story
of a man's love, thereby capping the climax of
offense. Her transcript of the said story might be of the
grosser sort; yet on that very account it showed the more
convincing. No misgivings, no agonized suspense, no
tremulously anxious reading between the lines, were
demanded. It was printed in large type, and in language
coarsely vigorous as Joseph Challoner himself! Morally
it repelled Joanna, although inflaming her imagination
with vague drivings of desire. Her whole poor being,
indeed, was swept by conflicting and but half-comprehended
passions, from amid the tempest of which this
one thing declared itself in a rising scale of furious
insistence—namely, that Margaret should not once again
best her; that no marriage Margaret might elect to make
should endanger her own marriage with Adrian Savage;
that by some means, any means fair or foul, Margaret
must be prevented tasting the fullness of man's love—never
mind how poor an edition of love this might be,
how unpoetic, bow vulgar—as long as she, Joanna, was
denied love's fullness. Yet so deeply were tradition
and system ingrained in her that, even at this pass,
she paid homage to their ruling, since instead of
making a direct attack, and owning anger as the cause of
it, she tricked herself with a fiction of moral obligation.
"Margaret," she began presently from her station at
the door, speaking with such self-command as she could
muster, "I dislike alluding to the subject very much.
No doubt you will be annoyed and will accuse me of
interference; still there is something I feel I ought to say
to you. If I do not say it now, there may not be a suitable
opportunity later."
"Then pray say it now. As I have told you, I want to
get the whole thing thoroughly thrashed out to-night, so
that we may avoid odious discussions in the future. What
is it, Joanna?"
"I can't help observing that it is only since papa's
death Mr. Challoner has paid you so much attention.
Before then—"
Margaret rose and faced round upon the speaker. Her
manner remained composed, but her blue eyes held the
light of battle.
"You mean it is not me, but my fortune, Challoner is
in love with? I quite expected you would tell me that,
Joanna, sooner or later; but I am bound to say it is not
a very elegant compliment either to him or to me."
"I did not intend to bring such an accusation against
him," Joanna protested. "It would be very dreadful to
suppose any one's affection, any one's choice, could be
seriously influenced by the fact we have money."
"I'm afraid my views are less romantic than yours.
It seems to me quite natural money should prove an
attraction—particularly in cases where other attractions
are rather wanting."
For some reason Joanna felt the stroke of a rod across
her hand again. The pain excited her. She came forward
a step or two.
"You do not give me time to explain myself, Margaret.
Before papa's death Mr. Challoner's name was very freely
associated with that of Mrs. Spencer. Both you and
Marion Chase spoke of an engagement between them as
certain. Others spoke of it also. The probability of a
marriage was accepted. I cannot forget this."
Margaret laughed.
"Really, it's too funny that you of all people should
champion wretched little Mrs. Spencer! Why, Joanna,
you invariably intimated she was quite beneath your
notice, and have lost no opportunity of snubbing her.
I've had to be nice, more than once, simply because I
felt so awfully ashamed of your rudeness to her."
"I do not like her. She is unladylike. Still I think
Mr. Challoner's change of attitude requires explanation."
"Do you?" Margaret retorted. "Here is the explanation
then. Simply that Challoner is too kind-hearted to
save himself at the expense of a woman, even when she
has treated him badly. He told me all about her months
ago. He felt I had better hear it from him, but he did
his best to excuse her. He showed wonderfully nice
feeling about it all. I was not prepared for his being so
scrupulous, and it made me admire him. For she is the
sort of person who spends her time in extracting money
and presents from every man she can get hold of.
Challoner admits he was taken in by her at first, and was
foolishly weak with her. She pretended to be almost
penniless, and worked upon his feelings so much that he let
her live in that house of his in Silver Chine Road, rent
free, for nearly two years. And when her demands
became too extortionate, and she persecuted him so
disgracefully that he was compelled in self-defense to get rid
of her, he found her another house at Marychurch, and, I
believe, pays half the rent of it for her still. I know he
gave her sister, Beattie Stacey—who is engaged to an
officer on one of the Cape liners—a beautifully fitted
traveling-bag as a wedding present. Marion saw it only
last week.—Those are the facts, Joanna. I hope now
your conscience is easy."
She stood looking down, pressing back an upturned
corner of the rug, upon which Joanna had knelt earlier in
the evening, with the pointed toe of her beaded slipper.
"Of course I sha'n't receive her," she said. "I told
Challoner my magnanimity wouldn't carry me as far as
that after the abominable way in which she's exploited
him. All the same, I'm rather grateful to the wretched
little woman. But for her I mightn't have known how
generous Challoner could be. I really believe the
satisfaction of rescuing him from her clutches is among my
chief reasons for accepting him—that, and then, of
course, Cousin Adrian Savage."
With a sort of rush Joanna came close—the violence
of some half-starved creature in her pale eyes, her
drawn face and her parted lips.
"Adrian?" she cried. "Adrian? What possible
connection can there be between Cousin Adrian and your
engagement to Mr. Challoner?"
For some seconds Margaret Smyrthwaite looked hard
and thoughtfully at her sister. Then, holding the skirt
of her dress aside, she pressed the upturned corner of the
rug into place again with the pointed toe of her slipper.
"I shall be so thankful," she said, "when you give up
wearing that frightful old dressing-gown, Nannie.
Decidedly, it is not as clean as it might be, and it looks so
horridly stuffy. I never have understood your craze for
hoarding—"
"But—but—Adrian?" Joanna insisted.
"Adrian? Surely you must have seen, Nannie? It's
just one of those things which aren't easy to put into
words, but which I should have thought even you must
have grasped, though you are so different to most people.
I sometimes have wondered lately, though, whether you
really are so different to other people, or whether you're
only extraordinarily secretive.—But, naturally having
a young man like Cousin Adrian staying so long in the
house this winter, put ideas into one's head and made
one think a good deal about marriage, and so on. I
took for granted papa had some notion of that kind
when he appointed Adrian his executor. He had a
great opinion of him, and would have liked him as a
son-in-law—or fancied he would. Of course he wanted
to bring us together—that was the object of the
appointment."
"You think so?" Joanna questioned. Joy, anxious
but great, arose in her.
"I haven't a doubt about it. All the same I couldn't,
out of respect for papa's wishes, make advances to a
young man who showed quite clearly he didn't care a row
of pins about me."
"He was always kind and civil to you, Margaret,"
Joanna interrupted restrainingly. Jealousy folded its
beating wings, betaking itself to most unaccustomed
repose.
"Civil and kind, I dare say. But—well, of course
there are signs one can't mistake, unless one blinds
oneself wilfully to their meaning."
She tossed her head, her eyes hard and bright. Joanna's
expression meanwhile became increasingly ecstatic.
"Yes, there are signs one cannot mistake—signs which
it would be weak and faithless to mistake," she whispered.
"I don't deny I felt rather enraged," Margaret
continued, too busy with her own vexation to remark the
other's singular aspect. "I could have been very much
upset about it all if I had let myself go."
"I am sorry," Joanna murmured, touched by
unexpected pity. "Indeed, Margaret, I am sorry."
"Oh, you weren't to blame in any way, Nannie. And,
you see, I didn't let myself go. I just turned my
attention to Challoner. There is nothing ambiguous about his
admiration. And now"—she glanced curiously at her
sister—"now," she continued, "as things have turned
out, I'm most uncommonly glad I didn't allow myself
to get into a state of mind about Adrian."
"As things have turned out?—I understand. I am
pleased you do not blame me, Margaret. Yes, as things
have turned out!" Joanna repeated excitedly.
For here, as she saw it, was the hour of her triumph,
of assured and splendid victory. The room seemed too
small to hold her rapture. Hardly aware of that which
she did, she brushed past her sister—still standing, fan in
hand, beside the chair at the window—and went out on
to the balcony.
She required to be alone, so as to savor to the full the
heady sweetness of her own emotion. She wanted to
forget every one, everything, save that only. She
wanted to abandon herself without reserve to the
thought of Adrian Savage; to gloat over every
incident of her intercourse with him, and project her
imagination onward to the closer, the continuous and
exclusive intercourse of the future. For had not
Margaret's confession—the more persuasive because
reluctantly made—amounted to an admission that
Adrian's affection belonged to her, and to her only?
Did it not supply reasonable confirmation of her sorely
tried faith in him, and ratify all her hopes by setting
the seal of witness upon the fact of his love for her?
Such was the meaning she read into the recent
conversation, piecing evidence together into a coherent
whole. Never before had she been absolutely certain.
Now, as she told herself, she was certain—could safely
be so, in that Margaret had admitted the fact, if not in so
many words, yet implicitly. Her father's wish and
purpose had been that the young man should marry one
of his two daughters—Margaret had perceived this. And
she, Joanna, was the one he had chosen, thereby justifying
all her past efforts and labors, and rehabilitating the
poor, cynically denuded family system into the bargain.
Was not the whole habit and conduct of her life vindicated,
inasmuch as it led to this superb result? The
years had not been wasted, but were, on the contrary, the
patient seed-time of this welcome harvest. She had been
right from the first, right in every particular, so that not
upon her or her methods, but upon those who differed from,
undervalued, or slighted her rested the onus of proof.
And here the intellectual and moral arrogance latent in
Joanna Smyrthwaite's nature upheaved itself mightily
and stood aggressively erect. Overweening self-esteem,
as on giant wings, sustained her. For to such disastrous
inflations of pride are introspective persons liable when
they fail—as they do so frequently fail—to discriminate
between deeds and emotions, between the barren power
to feel and the fertile, the life-giving power to act! Of
all traps set by Satan for the catching of souls, the trap of
"feelings" is perhaps the wiliest and the worst. And
into this trap poor Joanna walked, head in air, careless
of consequence. She felt deified, lifted above the
crawling, common ways of common men, defiant of all
opposition, all criticism; since, being the chosen and
desired of him whom she so dotingly worshiped, she
became an object worthy of worship in and to herself.
And the night—playing into the devil's hands somewhat,
as at times the aspects of Nature will—in its windless
silence and opaque, hot darkness, appeared queerly
reflective of and sympathetic to Joanna's mood of portentous
self-exaltation. The planes rather than the forms of
all which composed the scene were perceptible. Joanna's
eyes detected the slope of the veranda roof immediately
beneath the balcony, the flat outspread of the gardens
and lawns, and the vertical palisade of lofty trees
encircling them; but no single object detached itself—all
were fused by and soaked in that thick broth of
thunder-smoke. And this heated obscurity she welcomed,
because it ministered to the sense of solitude and of
aloofness which she craved. Nothing visible interfered
to distract her attention from herself and the thought of
her high destiny. Only once or twice the sky opened,
for the distant storm had moved westward, striking the
black canopies of the firs, their stems and many branches,
into vivid and instantaneous relief, while behind and
above them, midway to the zenith, lightning licked and
flickered like some miracle of soundless, sardonic
laughter playing over the livid features of a corpse nine
days dead.
It was in the moment of one such disquieting celestial
display that Margaret Smyrthwaite, stifling an audible
yawn, strolled on to the balcony. She had gathered up
her magazines and papers again, and tucked them under
her arm.
"If you don't intend to come in and talk any more,
Nannie," she said, rather irritably, "I may as well go. I'm
getting frightfully sleepy, and I've promised Challoner
to motor him over to Weymouth to-morrow. We make
an early start. Too, Marion's sure to be waiting to hear
how my talk with you has gone off, and I've a conscience
about keeping her up any longer.—Now, you do quite
understand, don't you, that I am going to marry
Challoner, and that opposition is absolutely no good? It
would look ever so much better, and be so very much
more comfortable for every one concerned, if you could
only make up your mind to be nice about it. You're
always saying how you hate people talking over our
affairs. Why give them occasion to talk then by being
disagreeable and contrary about a thing which is really
no business of yours, and which you are quite powerless
to prevent?"
Contemptuously Joanna turned from contemplation of
that strangely flickering sky and contemplation of her
own—subjective—glory. She resented the intrusion of
Margaret, with her perfumes and fashion papers, her
complacent utilitarianism, her motor-car and underbred
lover; but resented it half-pityingly, as the weakness of
an inferior being behaving according to the manner of
its kind.
"I may be powerless to prevent your marriage," she
said, "still I most deeply object to it. I cannot do
otherwise. I consider it unsuitable and most unfortunate.
I cannot disguise from myself that it will stand between
us in the future and render intercourse difficult. There
can be little sympathy between two persons whose aims
and interests are as far apart as yours and mine must
inevitably be. I feel it my duty to mention this to
you, Margaret, although I know that I have ceased to
exercise any influence over you. It is all very sad. It
is painful to me that you should repudiate our parents'
teaching, all the more painful because I never understood
as fully as I now do how noble that teaching is,
and how much it has done to form my character and
tastes, thus preparing me for the position and duties to
which I am called."
She drew her breath sharply, raising her hands to her
forehead, greatly moved by the thought of that high
calling.
"This for us is the parting of the ways, Margaret,"
she added, a singular effect of dramatic tension in her
manner, her pale ungracious face and figure against
the red-brick background of the house-front, momentarily
illuminated by a swift amazement of lightning
rippling and shuddering behind the fir-trees in the
west. "The parting of the ways," she repeated. "You
go yours, I mine. I deplore your choice. Can I do
otherwise, seeing how different my own prospects are?
But as, after due consideration, you have made that
choice, all further argument must, I fear, be wasted
upon you."
"Very well, then—there's an end of the matter."
As she spoke Margaret crossed the balcony, and,
leaning upon the balustrade, looked down into the
gloom-shrouded garden. The candle-light streaming outward
through the open window touched her shapely back and
shoulders, and her bright, curled and folded, auburn hair.
"There's an end of it, then," she repeated coldly, rather
bitterly. "We agree to part. You might easily have
been kinder and nicer to me; but I bear you no ill-will.
I suppose you can't help being disagreeable. Certainly
it's nothing new.—Only, Nannie, though I don't want to
upset you or make a quarrel, there is something I should
like to be quite clear about, because, I own, I've been
half afraid lately that you were getting yourself into a
silly state over Adrian Savage."
She stood upright, looking full at Joanna.
"I know you've corresponded with him a good deal,
so, of course, you may know already. Colonel Haig
told me. He met her in Paris, on his way to Carlsbad,
and was awfully smitten with her. Has Cousin Adrian
ever spoken to you about Madame St. Leger?"
Silence followed. A distinct menace was perceptible
in Joanna's tone when she at last answered.
"I have never attempted to force myself into Adrian's
confidence. To do so would be the worst possible taste
under existing circumstances. I should never dream of
asking him questions regarding his—his former friends."
"Then you don't know about Madame St. Leger,
Nannie?"
"I do not know, nor have I the least wish to hear
anything respecting any acquaintance of Adrian's, except
what he himself may choose to tell me."
Joanna spoke violently, her back against the wall, both
in the literal and figurative sense.
"That's all very proper, but I really think you ought
to hear this. In the end it may save everybody a
lot of misunderstanding and worry. I'm pretty sure
Colonel Haig meant me to pass the information on to
you. That was why he told me."
Joanna stretched her arms out on either side, the palms
of her hands toward the wall. As her fingers worked,
opening and closing, her nails gritted upon the rough
surface of the brick.
"I do not wish to hear anything, Margaret, not
anything," she repeated vehemently.
"But evidently there's no secret about this whatever.
Every one, so Haig says, knows the whole story in Paris.
The affair has been going on for ever so long; only until
Madame St. Leger's husband died, of course, there
couldn't be any question of marriage. I don't mean to
imply the smallest harm. Haig says there never has
been the slightest scandal. But her husband was years
and years her senior, and she is very beautiful—Haig
raves about her. I have never heard him so enthusiastic
over any one. And he was told Adrian has been in—"
"I refuse to hear anything more. I will not,
Margaret—no—no—I will not. This is a wicked fabrication. I
do not believe it. It is not true, I tell you—it is not
true," Joanna panted, her finger-nails tearing at the
brickwork.
"But what possible object could Haig have in repeating
the story if it wasn't true? I'm awfully sorry to put
you in such a fuss, Nannie, but Haig believes it
implicitly himself. There isn't the least doubt of that.
And when one comes to think, it does explain Adrian's
behavior when he was with us. One sees, of course,
how improbable it is that a young man like him should
not have some attachment which—"
Joanna quitted the sheltering wall, and came toward
the speaker, holding up her hands—the finger-tips frayed
and reddened—with a threatening gesture.
"Go away, Margaret!" she cried passionately. "Go
away! Leave me alone—you had much better. This
story is false—it is false, I tell you. And I forbid you to
repeat it. I will not listen. I will not have it said.
Go—or I may do something dreadful to you. Go—and
never speak to me again about this—never dare to do
so—never—never—do you hear?"
"Really, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, Nannie,"
the other protested, half angry, half frightened. "I'm
positively astonished at your making such an exhibition
of yourself—"
But Joanna laid hold of her by the shoulders, and
pushed her back forcibly through the open window, into
the center of the quiet, softly lighted room.
"Take your candle and go," she said, and her face
was terrible, forbidding argument or rebuke. "This is a
wicked falsehood, concocted by some jealous person who
is trying to alienate Adrian's affection from me. Who
that person is I do not know. I had better not know.
It is all very cruel, very dreadful; but I want no
explanations, or questions, or advice. Above all I want no
sympathy. I only want to be alone.—And I warn you,
Margaret, if you ever betray what has happened here
to-night I will take my own life. I shall be certain to
find you out sooner or later, and I will not survive
betrayal, so my death will lie at your door. Remember
that, if you are tempted to gossip about me with
Mr. Challoner or Marion Chase.—And now, pray, go away,
and leave me to myself. That is all I ask of you. Don't
call Isherwood and send her to me. I want nothing—nobody.
If she came I should not let her in. Go away—here
is your candle—go away and leave me alone!"
Joanna locked the door behind her sister, came back
to the middle of the room and stood there motionless, her
arms stiffly extended. She had no words, no thoughts,
but an ache through mind and body of blank misery, at
once incomprehensible and deadening from its very
completeness. Presently she blew out the lights. They
irritated her as showing her definite objects, her own
reflection in the cheval glass beside the dressing-table,
her diary and silver writing-set upon the slab of the open
bureau, all the ornaments and fittings of her bedroom.
She called on the darkness to cover her, and to cover
these things also, blotting remembrance of them out.
She needed to make her loneliness more lonely, her
solitude more unmitigated and absolute.
An intolerable restlessness seized on her. She began
to range blindly, aimlessly, to and fro. More than once
she knocked against some angle or outstanding piece of
furniture, bruising herself; but she was hardly sensible
of pain. At last, treading upon the trailing fronts of her
pleated négligé, she stumbled, fell her length, face
downward, and lay exhausted for a time; then slowly
dragging herself into a sitting position, she remained there,
massed together stupidly, upon the floor—while, through
the large, well-ordered, soberly luxurious house, the
clocks chimed the hours and half-hours, to be answered
by the chime of the stable clock out of doors.
As the night drew toward morning the lightning became
faint and infrequent behind the fir-trees in the west,
for the drought still held and the refreshment of rain
would not be yet. But in the gray of the dawn a cool
breathing of wind came up from the sea. Then, for a
minute or so, the great woodland stirred, finding its lost
voice; and the tree-tops swayed, singing together to hail
the sun-rising and the coming day.
The cool draught of air sweeping in at the still open
window aroused Joanna somewhat from her stupor. In
the broadening light she looked about her. The room
was in disorder—chairs pushed aside, a table thrown
down, well-bound books, fragments of a gold and
glass bowl, sprigs of lemon verbena and fading roses, the
wallet in which she kept Adrian Savage's letters lying
open, alongside its contents, scattered broadcast upon
the ground.
Joanna stared at these treasured possessions
apathetically. She put up her hands to push back her hair,
which hung down in heavy strands over her face and
shoulders. Her fingers felt sticky. They pricked and
smarted. She examined them. The nails were nicked
and jagged, in places the tips were raw.
"I will wait until they have healed," she said half
aloud in her thin, toneless voice, "then I will write to
Adrian and ask him if it is true. But I must wait till
they are healed, I think. Now I had better sleep. There
is nothing else left for me to do."
She staggered to her feet, walked unsteadily across
the intervening space and threw herself, unkempt and
half-dressed as she was, upon the fine embroidered linen
sheets and delicate lace coverlet of the satinwood bed.
"A thousand times welcome, my dear Savage!"
Anastasia Beauchamp cried, taking Adrian's
hand in both hers and looking up at him
affectionately from beneath a broad-brimmed brown hat
crowned by a positive vineyard of purple and white
glass grapes and autumn foliage, the whole inwrapped
cloudily in a streaming blue gauze veil. "You have
played the good Samaritan quite long enough in my
opinion, and it's high time you bestowed some
attention upon the rest of us, though we are neither insane
nor conspicuously immoral. And here we all are, that's
to say, all of us who matter, in this really quite tidy,
comfortable hotel, plus the amiable family Bernard,
my devoted, despised little Byewater and his compatriot
Lenty B. Stacpole—note the inevitable transatlantic
initial, I beseech you! Clever, excellent fellows both of
them, though a trifle slight temperamentally. And here,
to complete our circle, you arrive as the God in the Car."
Anastasia's smile bore effective testimony to her
appreciation of Adrian's handsome looks and gallant
bearing.
"Yes, very much the God in the Car, my dear boy,"
she repeated. "You are the picture of health. Playing
the good Samaritan, it must be conceded, hasn't damaged
you.—And I honestly believe, though I won't swear
to it for fear of committing an indiscretion, that every
one, every one, mind you—save possibly our excellent
Americans, to whom your near neighborhood may
reveal their own temperamental deficiencies—will be as
genuinely happy to see you as I am myself."
"Kindest and most sympathetic of friends," Adrian
returned, touched both by her words and warmth of
manner, "how inexpressibly good you are to me!"
"I only pay an old debt. Your mother was good to
me once—well—" She caught at an end of her
streaming veil and brought it to anchor under her chin.
"Well—when I stood in need of a wise and sweet
counselor very badly. And I never forget. Gratitude
can be—mind, I don't say it always is, but it can be—a
very delightful sentiment to entertain.—But now you
are expiring for a detailed account of a certain dear
lady. At this moment she is down on the beach with
the rest of our company. They will be back shortly for
tea. So come here with me on to the piazza, while we
wait for them, and I'll give you all the news I can."
Adrian, the brave song of the engines still in his ears,
his eyes still dazzled by the seventy-mile rush along the
white roads of the rich and pleasant Norman country,
followed Miss Beauchamp and her somewhat Bacchanalian
headgear from the large, light-colored hotel
saloon into the arcade, found her a comfortable seat,
and stationed himself beside her.
From thence he commanded a comprehensive view of
the opposite side of the shallow valley, dotted with modest
green-shuttered villas and rustic chalets set in ledges of
roughly terraced garden. Of the rutted road, bordered by
elms and sycamores, leading down from the fertile uplands
through the straggling gray village of Ste. Marie to
the shore. Of the high chalk cliffs forming the headland,
which closed the view westward, and the quarter-mile-wide
sweep of grass running up the back of it, stunted,
bronzed oak and thorn thickets filling in the rounded
hollows. Of the curving beach, its rows of gaily painted
wooden bathing-cabins, and chairs arranged in friendly
groups along the fore-shore occupied by women in
airy summer costumes,—their docile men-kind, assisted
in some cases by white-capped nurses, dealing meanwhile
with a slightly turbulent infant population upon
the near shingle and the dark mussel and seaweed
covered reef of rocks just below.
Upon that same friendly grouping of chairs Adrian's
glance directed itself eagerly, seeking a feminine presence
acutely interesting to him, but without result. Open
parasols and hats of brobdingnagian proportions rendered
their charming owners practically invisible. Wistfully
he relinquished the search. Then, looking at the
scene as a whole, his poetic sense was fired by the
spaciousness and freedom of the expanse of gleaming sands for
which Ste. Marie is celebrated. Furrowed in places and
edged by rare traceries of blue shadow, traversed by
sparkling blue-green waterways, interspersed with broad,
smooth lagoons—where the rather overdefined forms of
pink-armed, pink-legged bathers, clad in abbreviated
garments, swam, splashed, and floated—the sands
ranged out under a translucent clearness of early afternoon
sunshine to the first glinting ripples of the gently
inflowing tide. Farther still, along the horizon, the
solid blue of the intervening belt of deep sea melted, by
imperceptible gradations, into low-lying tracts of
furrowed, semi-transparent opaline cloud.
Those gold and silver shimmering levels, washed by
and rimmed with heavenly blue, commanded Adrian's
imagination. He found the strong air sweet to breathe,
the keen scent of the brine pleasant to his nostrils.
Disease, age, death, and kindred ugly concomitants of
human experience lost their vraisemblance and meaning.
Only glad and gracious things were credible. These
in multitude innumerable; and along with them, making
audible the note of pathos without which even perfect
beauty still lacks perfection, the haunting
solicitation of the Beyond and of the Unattained, forever
beckoning the feet of man onward with the promise of
stranger and more noble joys hidden from him as yet
within the womb of the coming years.
Whereupon Anastasia Beauchamp, divining in some
sort the trend of her companion's meditations,
proceeded to pat him genially upon the arm.
"My dear young god, 'come down off that roof right
away,' as little Byewater would put it, and listen to my
recital of sordid domestic woes recently suffered by our
belle Gabrielle."
Adrian became practical, his nose at once pugnacious
and furiously busy, on the instant.
"Great heavens!" he exclaimed, "who has dared to
offer her annoyance?"
"Mice, my dear Savage, beetles, and, to be quite plain
with you, drains. Yes, you may well make a grimace.
That mild-looking little chalet yonder across the valley—the
one with the parterre of marigolds—which she had
rented without preliminary inspection, proved a veritable
pest-house. When I arrived in July—mainly with a
view to safeguarding your interests, since frankly I hold
most seaside places in abhorrence—"
"How can I ever be sufficiently grateful to you!" the
young man murmured fervently.
"I have no child—and—perhaps, at my age, even the
ghost, even the fiction, of motherhood is better than
nothing.—But this is a digression—sentimental or
scientific, which? To return. I found Madame Vernois
nervous and debilitated, little Bette with a temperature
and sore throat, the indispensable maid Henriette
drowned in tears and sulks, and our poor, beautiful
Gabrielle in a most admired distraction."
Harrowed by which description, her hearer gave way
to smothered imprecations.
"Exactly. At the time I too made little remarks.
Then I sniffed once—twice. Twice was quite sufficient.
Better sacrifice a month's rent than be poisoned.
Without ceremony I bundled them over here, bag and
baggage, since when, dear creatures, they flourish. The
Bernards, who had taken the villa next door to the
pest-house, also had cause for dissatisfaction. They joined
us. This addition to our party I could have dispensed
with. I entertain the highest respect for M. Bernard's
acquirements, only I could wish he had learned early in
life that imparting information and making conversation
are by no means synonymous. Never am I alone with
him for over five minutes but he positively lapidates me
with the remains of the architectural past. Conversation
should be interchange of opinions, ideas, experiences, not
a bombardment with facts which one is perfectly competent
to read up for oneself if one's a mind to. Should
you ever be tempted to start a hobby—we none of us
know what we may come to!—avoid archæology, my
dear Savage, I implore you, out of retrospective tenderness
for my sufferings during the last few weeks! Yes—and
then I must record one truly alarming episode.
The great Zélie and a horde of her nauseating adherents
threatened a descent upon Madame St. Leger. Promptly
I engaged all the vacant rooms in the hotel—fortunately
they weren't very numerous—until the peril was
over-past."
"You are not only the kindest and the most superb of
friends, but you are a great general. You should
command armies," Adrian declared. "Forever shall
archæology be anathema to me!"
"Saving the proposed raid of the objectionable Zélie,
our history has been of the simplest," Anastasia
continued. "People, pleasant and unpleasant, have come
and gone; we remain—and there's the sum total of it.
Now tell me about yourself. How long do we keep you?"
"Alas, only until this evening. I must go back to
Rouen, where my letters await me. We have been
moving daily from place to place, as inclination suggested.
To-morrow I must rejoin René Dax—for a few days, a
week probably, to observe how the new treatment prospers.
It is decided that he shall remain in the country-house,
near Caen, of an intelligent young doctor who has
been in attendance upon him during our touring. His
man-servant, of course, is with him. And there he can
also have his pet animals."
"Will he recover?"
Adrian raised his shoulders and spread out his hands.
"God knows!" he answered. "He is quite gentle,
quite tractable. At moments he is irresistibly
entertaining. On his good days he composes little poems of
an exquisite fancifulness and fragility—iridescent
flowers as of spun glass. But whether he will ever draw or
paint again is an open question."
"It is pathetic," Miss Beauchamp put in musingly.
"What a sequel to his extravagant popularity!"
And both lapsed into silence, looking out across the
immense expanse of gleaming sands. Adrian was the
first to speak. He did so with uncertain hesitation.
"You said it was high time I came, tres chère
Mademoiselle. Does that imply that I have stayed away too
long? I feared to be precipitate, lest I might appear to
take unfair advantage of the—"
"The studio escapade—precisely."
"And employ it to further my own interests. On that
account I have resolutely effaced myself. To do so has
constituted a severe penance; but to do otherwise
would, in my opinion, have shown an odious lack of
imagination and of delicacy."
"I venture to doubt whether in affairs of the heart
delicacy has not more miscarriages of happiness to
answer for than precipitancy! The word too much, as
between man and woman, is more easily forgiven than
the word too little."
"It is inconceivable," Adrian broke out hotly, all of
a fume and a fluster, "that Madame St. Leger should
mistake my motives."
"Take it from me, my dear Savage," Anastasia
replied, with a finely humorous smile, "that exactly in
proportion as a woman is indifferent is she just and
clear-sighted. Let her care for one of you tiresome male
creatures ever, yes, ever so little, and those praiseworthy
qualities suffer instant suspension. Reason and probability
pick up their petticoats and scuttle. She develops
a positively inordinate ingenuity in misconstruction
and mistake."
Adrian turned an eagerly inquiring countenance upon
the speaker, his whole soul in his eyes.
"But, dearest, most deeply valued friend, tell me, tell
me, may I believe that she does then care?"
And asking it he bared his head, instinctively doing
homage to that most lovely idea. Miss Beauchamp's
smile changed in character, softening to a sweetness
which held something of relinquishment and farewell.
"Ah! the good years, the good years," she said,
"when love and all the world is young!—May you believe
that she cares, my dear boy? Well, without its being
the least unnatural, she very well might care, I fancy.
But you really must find that out for yourself. Listen—the
chirruping of the children. Here they all come."
She rose and went forward; and Adrian, an odd
tingling sensation in his blood, went forward too and
stood beside her under the central arch of the arcade
watching the little procession winding its way by the
rough path up the broken grass slope from the beach.
First, slender-legged, short-kilted, fresh as flowers,
frisking lambkin-like and chattering in high-pitched,
clear little voices, came Bette and her two little friends.
Next M. Bernard, dignified, serious, robust, wearing
light-brown tweeds, Panama in hand, decidedly warm,
expounding, recounting, archæologically dilating to
Madame Vernois—refined, fragile, dressed in black—who
leaned upon his arm. At a little distance Madame Bernard,
small, fair-haired, neat-featured, pretty, inclining
to stoutness, her person rigorously controlled by the
last word in corsets and clothed in the last word of
mauve linen costumes and mauve and white hats. She
was not an ardent pedestrian, and mounted laboriously
with the help of a long-handled parasol, uttering
reproachful little ejaculations and complaints the while
for the benefit of the two young Americans, who,
good-naturedly loaded up with the ladies' folding chairs, rugs
and cushions, followed close behind.
And there, apparently, was an end of the procession.
Whereupon Adrian turned to Anastasia with a deeply
injured countenance and a quite lamentably orphaned
look in his handsome eyes.
"Madame St. Leger is not with them? What can
have occurred? Where then can she be?" he demanded,
in tones of child-like disappointment and distress.
"There—there!" Anastasia returned, merrily. "See,
no ill-chance has befallen your goddess, my dear
distracted young god. Look—look—near the cliff edge,
to the right."
Then noting the change which came over Adrian's
expression and bearing as his eyes followed her pointing
hand, Miss Beauchamp's broadly amused smile faded.
She shook her head, sighed, turned away, while the witty,
large-featured face grew gray, aged, sibylline beneath
the shadow of her broad-brimmed, vine-crowned, slightly
rampageous hat.
"Like to like," she murmured. "However, others
before now have gone through that enchanted and perilous
gate! Only may the Almighty permit these two
not to cram their romance into one flimsy, purple-patched,
paper-bound yellow-back, but print it openly and honestly
in three good, stout volumes, of which all save the
first twenty or thirty pages deal with the married
state."
Adrian sat well back in the car. The tires ate up
the long perspectives of white road, while the
brave music of the engines made accompaniment to the
lyrics of his thought. On either side the lines of poplars
galloped, and behind them the great gold, green and
rusty-red squares of the crops, marked only by the
nature of their respective growths, innocent of dividing
fence or hedge-row, swished back, half the circle, as on
a turn-table. In the valleys herds of oxen and stout-built,
white-bellied, tortoise-shell cows moved leisurely
through the rich meadow-grass. Prosperous gray
homesteads, flanked by mellow wide-ranging barns and
sheds, orchards of reddening apples, and yards containing
a cheerfully garrulous population of poultry, calves,
and pigs, came into view only to vanish backward along
with the rest. In places, tracts of forest, the trees
crowded and for the most part very tall and slight, as is
the habit of northern French woodlands, made a dark
stain amid the gilded brightness, casting long shadows
across the downward-sloping pastures at their foot. A
note of pastel blue in farmers' and peasants' clothing,
now and again of lustrous dappled gray in the barrel or
buttocks of some well-shaped draught-horse, of orange
or rose in a child's frock or walled garden close, of white
in airing linen, struck momentarily into observation.
But dominant was the gilt of the level sunlight, the
gold of the harvest, and the silver powdering dust of the
highway. All these found sublimated repetition in the
iridescence of a sunset modulated to rare half-tones by
the near neighborhood of the sea. And Adrian sat well
back in the car, restful yet keen, affected sensuously
and passively rather than consciously and actively by
the fair, fruitful landscape fleeting to right and left of
him, revising his impressions of the past day.
Those impressions were, as he told himself, in a high
degree both stimulating and poetic. He had been
happy, very happy; but his happiness was of the
traveling rather than the stationary order. No touch of
satiety showed in it; rather much haunting solicitation
of the Unattained and the Beyond. From Pisgah
height he had beheld the Land of Promise, for the first
time reasonably secure of entrance into that ardently
coveted and most delectable country. But the waters
of Jordan still rolled between; and whether these would
pile themselves politely apart, bidding him cross
dry-shod, or whether a pretty smart bit of swimming would
be required before he touched the opposite bank, he was
as yet by no means sure. Enfin—he could swim for it,
if all came to all, and would swim for it gaily and
strongly enough!
As that afternoon he first caught sight of Gabrielle
St. Leger standing, tall and svelte in her light summer
dress, upon a grass-grown mound on the turn of the slope,
her strong yet pliant figure detaching itself in high relief
against the immense expanse of Ste. Marie's blue lagoons
and gleaming sands, Adrian apprehended that she too
suffered those solicitations of the Unattained and the
Beyond. Her attitude, indeed, was eloquent of
questioning expectation. It recalled to him the superb and
ill-fated drawing of her, uplifted amid the cruel and
witty obscenities of poor René Dax's studio—the exalted
Madonna of the Future, her child upon her arm, going
forth from things habitual and familiar in obedience to
the call of Modernity, of the new and tremendous age.
Resemblance was there; yet as he looked a difference
in her to-day's attitude soon disclosed itself to this
analytic though ardent lover. For, assuredly, the
sentiment of this second and living picture of her was less
abstract, more warm and directly human? Not devotion
to a Cause, to an impersonal ideal or idea, inspired
that outlooking of questioning expectation across the
shimmering levels to the freedom of the open sea, but
some stirring of the heart, some demand of her sweet
flesh for those natural joys which were its rightful
portion. This difference—and then another, which, even
here by himself in the rapidly running car, Adrian
approached sensitively and with inward deprecation. In
to-day's picture she had been alone. She had not
carried her child on her arm; so that only the woman,
beautiful and youthful, not the already made mother,
was present.
And the above fact, it must be owned, contributed
in no small degree to the young man's content. A
thousand times, notwithstanding his love of analysis, he
had refused and shied away from analysis of precisely
this—namely, the feeling he entertained toward little
Bette. She was a delicious being, granted; but she was
also poor Horace St. Leger's child, and from much which
this implied Adrian did quite incontestably shrink.
La belle Gabrielle might still be, as he sincerely
believed still was, essentially la Belle au Bois Dormant,
just as he himself was the princely adventurer selected
by Providence for the very agreeable task of waking
her up. Yet, during that protracted sleep of hers, things
had happened, primitive and practical things, to the
actuality of which delicious Mademoiselle Bette's
existence bore indubitable witness. Hence to carry away
with him that other picture of Gabrielle as seen to-day,
interrogating the fair sunlit spaces unaccompanied, gave
him quite peculiar satisfaction. In the glow of which
his thoughts now turned affectionately to the memory
of poor Horace St. Leger. For wasn't la belle Gabrielle,
after all, his, and not Adrian's, discovery? And wasn't he,
Adrian, consequently under a gigantic debt of gratitude
to Horace for so speedily taking his departure and
leaving the coast clear? He might have lived on—agonizing
reflection!—ten, twenty, even—since centenarians are at
present so conspicuously the fashion—a good thirty years
longer; lived on, indeed, until it ceased to matter much
whether he took his departure or not. Thinking over all
which, Adrian forgave the poor man his abbreviated
enjoyment of paternity, and in so doing made his final
peace with the existence of little Bette.
Not to have done so would, in his opinion, have
betrayed a culpably ungenerous and churlish spirit. The
more as when—her attention attracted by the pretty
outcry of little Bette herself and of Madame
Vernois—Gabrielle turning her gaze landward became aware of
his presence, the light in her face and quick welcoming
gesture of her hand showed his advent as far from
displeasing to her. Both expression and action struck him
so spontaneous and unstudied that, without undue
vanity, he might well believe himself to count for
something in those allurements of the Beyond and the
Unattained. Delightfully certain it was, in any case,
that she descended with haste from her grassy monticule,
and—he could most joyfully have sworn—put some
restraint upon herself so as to advance and offer her
greetings with due soberness and dignity.
All through his visit her manner had remained gentle,
serious, touched even with a hint of embarrassment.
From these signs he drew most hopeful auguries. After
tea, under the quite perceptibly out-of-joint noses of the
two excellent young Americans, she had drawn him
aside and plied him with questions respecting his
nursing of René Dax. In response he gave her a detailed
account of the last two months. With the artist's
happy faculty for playing two mutually destructive
parts at one and the same time in all sincerity, he
mourned René's mental affliction and felt the pity of it
while looking into Gabrielle's eyes, watching her every
change of expression and reveling in the emotion his
eloquent recital evoked. Her quickness of sympathy
and comprehension were enchanting. Never had he
found her so responsive. Never had he felt so closely
united to her in sentiment.—And that the egregious
Tadpole, of all living creatures, should prove so
excellent a stalking-horse!
Putting aside the high delight of having Madame St. Leger
as a listener, he found sensible relief in speaking
freely of the subject. For the responsibility of his
position had been severe and wearing. Especially had it
been so during those, at first, frequently recurrent periods
of acute mania, when his affection and philosophy alike
were strained to breaking-point, making him doubt
whether the protracted struggle to keep wayward soul
and distempered body together was either merciful or
obligatory. If this unhappy lunatic of genius was so
passionately desirous of letting loose that same
wayward soul of his through a gaping wound in his throat,
why the deuce should he, Adrian, in company with three
or four other strong and healthy men, be at such
tremendous pains to prevent it? Mightn't the poor
Tadpole know very much best what was best for him?
And wouldn't it, therefore, be more humane and
intelligent to leave nicely sharpened razors within easy
reach, ignoring the probable consequences of such
intentional negligence? Are there not circumstances
which render connivance at suicide more than
permissible? Time and again he had argued the vexed
question with himself as to the binding necessity, even
the practical morality, of preserving human life when,
through disease, life has so cruelly lost its distinctively
human characteristics and values.
"And," Gabrielle St. Leger remarked, with a smile edged
by engagingly gentle mockery, "then invariably ended,
against your better judgment, by still carefully
removing the razors!"
That same smile dwelt in the young man's memory as
singularly rich with promise, justifying the belief that
a lifetime spent in la belle Gabrielle's society would fail
to exhaust her power of—to put it vulgarly—jumping
the unexpected upon you, and bracing your interest by
the firing off of all manner of fine little surprises.
Monotony, he thanked Heaven, would very certainly not be
among the dangers to be feared in marriage with Madame
St. Leger!
But while his imagination played about these agreeable
matters the music of the engines changed its tune,
the brakes gripped under Martin the chauffeur's boot-sole,
and the car slowed down to a crawl in passing a flock of
sheep. Two large dogs, bobtailed and shaggy, their red
mouths widely open as they raced barking to and fro,
rounded up the scared and scattering flock into a
compact, bleating, palpitating mass of bister color
picked out with rusty black upon the dust-whitened
strip of turf by the roadside. The shepherd, tall and
lean, a long staff in his hand, his felt hat, hawk-nosed
face, unkempt beard, ragged cloak and string-girt
leggings, presenting a study in rich browns and umbers
under the last glinting gold of the sunset, gesticulated
and shouted, directing the evolutions of the racing dogs
in a harsh and guttural patois. The scene, a somewhat
violent pastoral, stamped itself as a picturesque inset
upon the wide-margined page of Adrian's reflections.
The sheep once safely cleared and the pace again
quickening, his thought centered complacently upon the
moment of his farewells. For surely these showed
handsomely on the credit side of his day's pleasure?
The friendly little company—not exclusive of the
forgiving though cheapened Americans—had gathered
at the hotel entrance to witness his start. Anastasia's
voice and manner were rich with meaning and affectionate
admonition as she invited him speedily to return.
In the expression of Madame Vernois's refined
face he seemed to read something approaching appeal
as she gracefully seconded that invitation. While
Gabrielle herself—she standing a little apart from the rest,
nearer to the waiting automobile—answered, not lightly,
but with a sweet and grave dignity, on his asking her:
"And you, chère Madame et amie, have I your
invitation also? May I soon come back? Without your
sanction it would, perhaps, be preferable, be wiser, more
desirable for me to stay away."
"I, too, hope you may find it possible soon to return
here. If your doing so depends in any degree upon my
sanction I give that sanction readily."
And thus speaking she had looked him full in the eyes.
Whereupon, though furiously unwilling to quit the dear
sight and sound of her, this very modern young god
mounted up into his very modern car in quite celestial
serenity of spirit.
But as the dusk deepened and the lights of Rouen
multiplied in the distance, happy retrospect gave place
to happy on-looking, since, at nine and twenty, no sound
and wholesome man seriously questions the existence of
earthly bliss.
Yes, a week, possibly even a few days, would suffice
to assure him all went well with René in his new quarters.
Then he might reckon himself at liberty to return to
Ste. Marie and the dear people there. And, once there, no
overstrained delicacy should withhold him from putting
it to the touch with Gabrielle St. Leger. Bowing to
Anastasia's advice, he would risk saying the word too
much, so as to avoid the greater danger of saying the
word too little;—risk it the more gladly because he
gratefully believed it mightn't prove the word too much,
but the word acceptable, even the word actually, though
silently and proudly, waited for. The immediate consequence
of which belief was that, the car striking into the
town through the Faubourg Beauvosine and traveling
the Boulevard and the rue St. Hilaire successively, it
appeared to Adrian in act of traversing an altogether
heavenly city, whose now poetic ancient buildings, now
stately new ones, were alike built of silver, and whose
deep-resounding streets, in the growing brilliance of the
lamp-light, were paved with gold. Such extravagant
tricks, even in this machine-made, mammon-worshiping
twentieth century, can love still contrive to play upon the
happy lover!
On the way to the hotel, where he had left his light
traveling baggage when passing through from Caen in
the morning, Adrian alighted at the central post-office,
in the rue Jeanne d'Arc, to claim his two-days' mail
forwarded from Paris.
Coming out, he stood awhile at the edge of the
pavement verifying the several items. Two consignments
of proofs—this pleased him. A slim one from the office,
containing, as he knew, his fortnightly chronique of
current home and foreign politics for the forthcoming
number of the Review. The other—and his glance
settled upon it affectionately—was stouter, holding the
slips of a story of some forty pages. Into that story
he had put all the imaginative and verbal skill of
which he, as yet, felt himself capable. It was a drama,
at once pathetic and brutal, of the Paris underworld
which he had this year so intimately investigated
during his unsuccessful search for Bibby Smyrthwaite.
He felt keen to know how it looked and read in print;
for in the back of his mind lurked a hope that just
conceivably it might prove a little masterpiece and assure
his place among those writers of contemporary fiction
whose literary output really counts.
And here for the moment it must be owned the lover
was called upon to make room for the artist, while Adrian
promised himself the best of good hours, after dinner
to-night, in revising punctuation, correcting misprints, and
leisurely making those carefully considered alterations
in wording so absorbing to one emulous of combining
grace and high finish with pungency and vivacity of
style. Tenderly he laid the packet down on the seat of
the waiting car, and raised his eyes as in invocation to
the star-pierced blue of the summer sky roofing the
perspective of silver-gray houses and silver-gilt street. For
mightn't he take it as a fortunate omen that the proofs
should come to hand on this so fortunate day? Omen
that the story would strike home and its readers acclaim
him as a doer of notable and living work?
He glanced rapidly at the envelopes of his private
letters; and, while thus occupied, became aware that
Martin, the chauffeur, was engaged—as not infrequently—in
an altercation. The man was a clever driver, and
to him, Adrian, a willing and trustworthy servant.
But his temper was inconveniently inflammable, and he
inclined to pick quarrels with half the men and make
amorous overtures to more than half the women he met,
thus involving both himself and his master in
superfluously dramatic incidents. Under provocation his
language became variegated and astonishingly ripe.
Epithets of the latter description he was now in process
of discharging upon some individual who had knocked
up against him, in passing, as he stood at the edge of the
pavement bending down to examine the tire of the near
front wheel of the car.
"Martin, stop that, if you please," Adrian said, warningly,
over his shoulder, and returned to the survey of his
letters.
There was one from Anastasia Beauchamp. Bless the
dear woman, wasn't she indeed a jewel of a friend! And
there was one, black-bordered, and addressed, though
less neatly than usual, in Joanna Smyrthwaite's small,
scholarly handwriting. Adrian was conscious of
impatience, of an unreasoning sense of injury. For why,
of all days in the year, should he hear from Joanna
to-day? He had thought of her seldom lately, owing to
preoccupation with and anxiety regarding René Dax;
and it struck him as a rather wanton smirching of his
delightful day's record and subtle menace to the success
of his precious little story that the rather unpleasant
matter of poor Joanna should thus obtrude itself.
Undefinable apprehension of coming trouble flashed through
his mind.
All this was a matter of seconds; but during those
seconds, the voice of the choleric chauffeur had risen
from a gusty snarl into the screech of a blazing sky-rocket,
bursting finally into a star-shower of unrecordable
invective.
Adrian, imposingly tall in his long dust-colored frieze
motor-coat, wheeled round upon the man angrily.
"Ah, par exemple! but this is intolerable!" he
exclaimed. "Have I not already commanded you to be
silent? Do you propose to disgrace me, as well as yourself,
by fighting in the open street? Behave respectably,
not like an idiot. Do you hear—get in behind your
steering-wheel and keep quiet until I am ready to start."
"But, Monsieur, the fellow has grossly insulted me.
He cannoned into me by design, the thrice filthy animal,
the sodden ass, and would have rolled me in the gutter
had I not skilfully braced myself. Clearly his intention
was robbery. He is a danger to society, a thief, a
pickpocket. Only let Monsieur look for himself, and declare
whether a more verminous gaol-bird has ever been
presented for his inspection?"
And looking, Adrian beheld the chauffeur, fiery-eyed,
with bristling black mustache, and, struggling in his
vicious grip, Joanna Smyrthwaite herself—Joanna
dissipated, degraded, with prominent, blear blue eyes and
weak hanging underlip, masquerading in man's attire,
as in those infamous, now obliterated drawings upon
René Dax's studio wall.
Disgust, and a vague apprehension of something
unnatural and outside reason, seized on Adrian Savage.
The sight was loathsome, to a degree, both in suggestion
and in fact. Then he understood; and, understanding,
suffered a moment of acute indecision. But a crowd was
collecting. The police might arrive upon the scene.
Making a strong effort to surmount his disgust, he said:
"Let him go, Martin. I know him. I will explain to
you presently. Now I require your help."
Then he added rapidly, in English:
"Pardon my servant's rudeness. In the end you shall
not have cause to regret it. You are William
Smyrthwaite—Bibby—are you not?"
Martin relinquished his hold sulkily. His victim,
dazed and breathless, stood at bay; a ring of curious,
contemptuous faces behind him, and Adrian, stern, yet
excited, and with difficulty repressing evidences of his
repugnance, in front.
"And, if I am Bibby Smyrthwaite, what the devil is
that to you?" he answered petulantly in English. "I
never set eyes on you before. Why should you interfere
with me? Haven't I as much right to the pavement as
that liveried brute of yours? I've got a job as
cab-washer. If I'm late at the yard I shall forfeit my pay.
And I want my pay."
His loose-lipped mouth twisted miserably and tears
began to dribble down his sunken cheeks.
"Let me go," he blubbered. "I haven't done you any
harm, and I want my pay."
Then Adrian, moved by compassion, came close to him
and spoke kindly.
"See here, my poor boy," he said. "I am commissioned
by persons who have a regard for you to provide
for you. You need not worry about your pay. I
will take care of all that. For months I have tried to
find you to tell you this. I am Adrian Savage, a cousin
of your late father, and his executor."
The tears ceased, and the young man's face was
overspread by an expression of almost imbecile rapture.
Adrian turned sick. Exactly thus had Joanna looked,
more than once.
"Is my father dead, then?" Bibby asked.
"Yes, he is dead," Adrian replied, in bewilderment.
Bibby reeled forward and squatted on the broad footboard
of the car, his head thrown back, holding his sides,
his thin, loose-jointed limbs and body writhing with and
shaken by hysterical laughter.
"Dead!" he quavered out—"dead! By God! they've
got him at last, then—got him, the stinking, slave-driving
old hypocrite! And, please God, they're cooking
him now—now—at this very identical
minute—cooking him to a turn, down in hell."
The room, furnished in dark walnut, was upholstered
in red Utrecht velvet, the walls hung with a striped
fawn-and-red paper. A mirror, in a florid gilt frame, was
fixed above the low mantel-shelf. The atmosphere held
odors reminiscent of cigarettes, patchouli, and food in
process of cooking. The dinner-table had, by Adrian's
orders, been placed near the central window, the two
casements of which stood open to the ground. After so
many hours spent in the open air, dining in present
company he felt the necessity of such freshness as he could
by any means get. In the center of the long flagged
courtyard the big palmate leaves of a row of pollarded
chestnuts caught the light coming from the offices on the
left. White-coated, white-capped chefs and scullions
passed to and fro. An old liver-colored bitch, basset as
to her legs and pointer as to her body, waddled after
them, her nose in the air, sniffing, permanently hopeful
of scraps. On the flags, just outside the salon window,
three tabby kittens played—stalking one another round
pots of fuchsia and musk, bouncing out, leaping in the
air, spitting, galloping sideways, highly diabolic with
teapot-handle tails. Farther along the courtyard,
hidden by the lower branches of the intervening trees, a
stable-helper sang and whistled as he washed down the
hotel omnibus. The servants talked, laughed, scolded
over their work. Almost incessantly from the rue
Jeanne d'Arc came the long-drawn rattle and swish of
the electric trams. And opposite to Adrian at table,
clad in a complete outfit of his, Adrian's clothes—a
white flannel suit with a faint four-thread black stripe
on it, a soft, pale blue shirt, an immaculate collar and
narrow black tie—sat William Smyrthwaite, outwardly,
at all events, surprisingly transformed.
Adrian had hesitated to propose him as an inmate;
but an up-to-date motor-car, a ruffling chauffeur, a
well-built suit-case and kit-bag bearing an English name, a
very good Paris address, are calculated to promote not
only faith, but charity. The hotel proprietor, a short,
fat, bland little man with a dancing step and a shrewd,
rapacious Norman eye, was sympathy itself.
"That Monsieur should remove his effects and seek
another, an inferior, hotel would desolate him, was not
to be thought of! He would arrange the affair on the
instant. Such lamentable lapses will occur at times—are
there not, alas, members of the most respectable,
the most distinguished, families who turn badly? Let
Monsieur, then, rest assured he was infinitely touched
by the confidence Monsieur reposed in him. And,
see"—tapping his forehead with a fat forefinger—"the little
suite at the back on the ground floor, giving upon the
courtyard, became precisely this morning vacant. True,
these were not the rooms he should have selected for
Monsieur's occupation; but, under the circumstances,
it was conceivable they would serve. They were
comfortable though modest. They were retired—two
bed-chambers connected by a salon. There Monsieur and
his guest could dine in private, secure from the
intrusive observation of strangers. But, indeed,
no—Monsieur was too amiable! He himself was undeserving
of thanks, since did it not become evident that Monsieur
was engaged in a work of the highest benevolence—the
attempted reclamation of an unhappy fellow-creature?—With
which work to be associated, even in the
humblest capacity, could not but be esteemed by any
person of feeling as a privilege."
Then with a rapid change of manner, becoming autocratic,
Napoleonic:
"Gustave," he cried, over his shoulder, "portez les
bagages de ces messieurs aux numeros sept et huit."—And
waving Adrian to follow, he bounced lightly away down
the corridor; his eyebrows drawn together as he
inwardly debated how many francs extra he dared charge
for the Utrecht-velvet upholstered suite without seeming
too flagrantly extortionate.
After that first outbreak of unseemly rejoicing at the
announcement of his father's death, young Smyrthwaite
subsided into a state of acquiescent apathy. He did as
he was bid, but with what mental reservations, what
underlying thoughts or emotions, Adrian failed to
discover. Somewhere, in this weak, slipshod creature,
he suspected a bed-rock of obstinacy. He also suspected
predatory instincts. Or, was it only that the instinct of
self-preservation had taken—as under the stress of
poverty it almost must take—a predatory form?
At the beginning of dinner Smyrthwaite spoke little,
but sat, his elbows upon the table, his head bent low over
his plate, putting away food with the sullen haste of an
animal suspicious of its fellow-animal's intentions and
appetite. And when Adrian, to whom this exhibition
of gluttony proved anything but agreeable, hinted civilly
there was no cause for hurry, he looked across the nicely
ordered table with a half-sneering yet oddly boyish smile.
"Oh! it's all very well for you," he said. "You're
safe enough to have your solid three meals to-morrow,
and all the other blooming to-morrows as long as you
live. But, I tell you, I mean to make jolly sure of
this meal while I can get it. I've learned not to put
much trust in to-morrows. I want to be on the safe
side, so that if the wind changes, as far as this meal goes,
anyhow, I shall have nothing to repent of."
"But, my good fellow, the wind will not change.
That is exactly what I have been trying to assure you,"
Adrian interposed, pity and repulsion playing see-saw
within him to a bewildering extent. "For the future
you can be just as secure of three meals a day as I
myself am if you choose."
"Bully!" Smyrthwaite said. "I wonder! The old
man cut up well?" he added, his face again bent down
over the table.
"Your father left a large fortune," Adrian replied,
repulsion now very much on the top.
"To me? Not likely!"
"To your sisters. And Joanna"—Adrian hesitated,
conscious of a singular distaste to using the Christian
name—"at once devoted a considerable sum of money
to be employed, in the event of your return, for your
maintenance."
With his coarse, thick-jointed fingers Smyrthwaite
rubbed a bit of bread round his plate, sopping up the
remains of the gravy.
"That's no more than right," he said, "if you come
to think of it. Why should the girls have all the stuff?"
His hand went out furtively across the table to a dish
of braised beef and richly cooked vegetables which he
proceeded to transfer to his own plate.
"All the same, it's nice of Nannie. We were rather
chummy in the old days—the blasted old days which
I've nearly forgot. But I didn't suppose she cared
still. Poor old Nannie! What a beastly hash my father
made of our lives! Nannie ought to have married
Merriman. Then I should have had a home. Andrew's a
bit peachy, but he's a rare good sort."
He slushed in the food silently for a while; and Adrian,
anxious to avoid observation of the details of that
process, watched the kittens sporting round the flower-pots
on the flags just outside.
He had searched for Bibby, spending time, money,
even risking personal safety, in that search. He had
found Bibby. He had brought him here to civilized
quarters. He had clothed him from head to foot.—Adrian
felt a pang, for they were such nice clothes! He
was rather fond of that particular flannel suit. Really it
cost him not a little to part with it; and, he could almost
fancy, hanging now upon Bibby's angular, narrow-chested
frame, that it bore the plaintive air of a thing
unkindly treated, consciously humiliated and disgraced.
He apologized to it half sentimentally, half humorously,
in spirit.—And then because the small things of life whip
one's sense of the great ones into higher activity, the
trivial matter of the ill-used flannel suit brought home to
Adrian with disquieting clearness the difficulties of this
whole third affaire Smyrthwaite in which he had, as it
now occurred to him, rather recklessly embarked.
As if the two first affaires, those of father and daughter,
hadn't been enough, he must needs go and add that of the
degenerate son and brother! And who, after all, would
thank him? Wasn't he very much a fool, then, for his
pains? Psychologically and in the abstract, as an
example of lapse and degradation, Smyrthwaite presented
an interesting and instructive study. But in the
concrete, as a guest, a companion, as a young man, a
relation, moreover, to be reclaimed from evil courses and
socially reinstated, the situation took on quite other
color. Looking across the table now as, his plate again
empty, Bibby sank back in his chair, slouched together,
his hands in his trousers pockets, his blue eyes turned
upon the door, anxiously awaiting the advent of the
garçon with the next course, Adrian was tempted to
deplore his own philanthropic impulse. All hope of
pulling the boy up to any permanently decent level of
living seemed so unspeakably remote.
And, as though some silent transmission of thought
had taken place between them, Bibby's next speech went
to confirm Adrian's fears.
"You say if I choose," he began; "but the question
is, can I choose? You see I'm so beastly out of the habit
of all that.—Now I'm getting full I seem to understand
things, so I'd best talk at once."
"I ask nothing better than that you should talk,"
Adrian put in, good-temperedly. For Heaven's sake, let
him at least gain whatever scientific knowledge of and
from Bibby he could!
"Presently I shall turn sleepy," the other continued,
with a curiously unblushing directness of statement.
"I always do when I'm first filled up after going short.
You see, I've never set eyes on you before, and you come
along and tell me some blooming fairy story about poor
old Nannie and her money. It may be true or it may be
false, but anyhow I don't seem to tumble to it. I fancy
these clothes and I fancy this feed, but I don't feel to
go much beyond that.—Chicken?—Yes, rather. Leave
me the breast. Golly! I do like white meat! Two or
three years ago it would have set me on fire. I should
have felt like bucking up and making play with
it—repentant prodigal, don't you know, and all that kind of
rot. But now I don't seem to be able to bother much.
If it was winter I suppose I should be more ready to
fix on to it, because I'm afraid of the cold. When
you're empty half the time cold makes you so beastly
sick; and then I get chilblains and my skin chaps. But
in the summer I'd just as soon lie out.—Say, can I have
the rest of the fowl?"
"By all means," Adrian replied, handing him the dish.
"You see, it's like this," he went on, picking up the
bones and ripping off the meat with his teeth, "I've
knocked about so long it's grown second nature. I have
to move on. I can't stick to one job or stop in one place.
I suppose that's left over from the old days, when
my father was always down on me with some infernal
row or other. He hated me like poison. It's a trick
Englishmen have with their sons. They've not got the
knack of paternity like you French. I got into the habit
of feeling I'd best run because he was sure to be after me;
and that's a sort of feeling you can't be quit of. It
keeps you always looking over your shoulder to see
what's coming next. People haven't been half nasty to
me on the whole, and I mightn't have done so badly if
I could have stuck. A little mincing devil of an artist,
with a head like the dome of St. Paul's—draws for the
comic papers—you may know him—René Dax—"
"Yes, I know him," Adrian said.
"He picked me up this winter when I was just pitching
myself into the river. It was cold, you see, and I'd
been drinking. It's silly to drink when you're empty. It
gives you the hump. He took me home with him, and
drew funny pictures of me. They were pretty low down
some of them, but they made me laugh. He did me very
well as to food and all that, but two or three days of it
was enough. I couldn't stand the confinement. I
pinched what I could and left."
Adrian raised his eyebrows and passed his hand down
over his black beard meditatively. A sweet youth, a
really sweet and promising youth this!—René had never
mentioned the thieving incident to him, and it
explained much. It also showed René's conception of the
duty entailed by hospitality in an admirable light.
Even active exercise of the predatory instinct must be
passed over in silence in the case of a guest.
"What he paid me, with what I took, kept me going
quite a good while," Smyrthwaite said, stretching and
yawning audibly. "But I'm turning thundering sleepy.
I told you I should. I'll be shot if I can sit up on end
jawing any more like this," he added querulously. "You
might let a fellow have ten minutes' nap."
Ten minutes, twenty minutes, all the minutes of the
unnumbered ages spent by Bibby in slumber would,
Adrian just then felt, supply a more than grateful
respite! He lit a cigarette and stepped out of the open
window on to the flags, thereby startling the tabby
kittens, who, with arched backs and frenzied spittings,
vanished behind the flower-pots. An arc lamp was fixed
to the wall just over the kitchen entrance. One of the
white-clad chefs brought out a chair, and sat there
reading a flimsy, little two-page evening paper. The
heavy foliage of the chestnuts hung motionless. In the
distance a bugle sounded to quarters. And Adrian
thought of Gabrielle St. Leger, standing on the
grass-grown monticle looking across the gleaming sands of
Ste. Marie into the beckoning future. When next they
met he would speak, she would answer—and Adrian's
eyes grew at once very gay and very gentle. He pushed
up the ends of his mustache and smoothed the tip of
his pointed beard. Then he remembered on a sudden
that in the houroosh over the finding of Bibby he had
forgotten all about his letters.
So he took them out of his pocket and looked at them.
It wasn't necessary to read dear Anastasia's letter now,
since he knew pretty well what it must contain, having
seen her so lately. But here was Joanna's black-edged
envelope. He shrugged his shoulders.—Oh! this
interminable famille Smyrthwaite! Why, the dickens, had
his great-aunt committed the maddening error of marrying
into it? With an expressive grimace, followed by
an expression of saintly resignation, Adrian tore the
envelope open. The letter was a long one, worse luck!
He read a few lines, and moved forward to where the
arc lamp gave a fuller light. "Par exemple!" he said,
once or twice; also, very softly, "Sapristi!" drawing
in his breath. Then all lurking sense of comedy deserted
him. He straightened himself up, his face bleaching
beneath its brown coating of sunburn and his eyes
growing hot. The old dog waddled across from the offices
and planted herself in front of him, wagging a disgracefully
illegitimate tail, looking up in his face, sniffing
and feebly grinning. He paid no heed to her feminine
cajoleries; paid no heed to the fact that his cigarette
had gone out, or to the antics of the again emergent
kittens, or to the intermittent sounds from the courtyard
and city, or to the all-pervasive stable and kitchen
smells.
"Dear Cousin Adrian," Joanna's letter ran, "I find
it difficult and even painful to write to you, yet I can
no longer refrain from writing. In refraining I might
be guilty of an injustice toward you. This nerves me
to write. I have suffered very greatly in the past week.
I know suffering may purify, but I am not purified by
this suffering. On the contrary, the tendencies of my
nature which I least approve are brought into prominence
by it. I owe it to whatever is best in me; I owe
it to you—yes, above all to you—to take steps to check
this dreadful florescence of evil in myself.
"But before explaining the principal cause of my
suffering, I must tell you this. You may have heard
from Margaret. In that case forgive my repeating
what you already know. She has engaged herself to
Mr. Challoner. The news came to me as a great shock.
From every point of view such a marriage is displeasing
to me. I have regretted Mr. Challoner's influence over
Margaret. Already I cannot but see she is deteriorating,
and adopting a view of life dreadfully wanting in
elevation of feeling and thought. I know you will
sympathize with me in this, and that you will also
deplore Margaret's choice. Indeed, the thought of the
effect that this news must have upon your mind has
caused me much sorrow. You may so reasonably object
to Mr. Challoner entering our family. I have never
considered that he appreciated your great superiority
to himself both in position and in attainments, or treated
you with the deference due to you. Mr. Challoner is
not a gentleman, and I am humiliated by the prospect
of his becoming nearly connected with you by marriage.
You are too just to visit this upon me; but it must color
your thought of me and of all our future relation.
"I speak of our future relation; and there the agony
of suspense in which I have lately lived overcomes me.
I can hardly write. Believe me, Adrian, I do not
doubt you; I know you are incapable of an inconsiderate,
still more of a cruel, action. My trust in you is as deep
as my affection. It is myself whom I distrust. Knowing
my absence of talent and beauty, knowing my own
faults of character from the first, the wonder of your
love for me has been almost overpowering, almost
incredible."
Adrian folded the thin sheets together and walked
back and forth over the flags, looking up at the fair
night sky above the big-leaved chestnuts.
"My God! Poor thing! poor Joanna! What can one
do? Poor thing!" he said.
Then he stood still again in the lamplight and
re-opened the letter.
"And hence, when gossiping reports reach me, however
contrary to my knowledge of you and however
unworthy of credence they may be, aware as I am of my
many shortcomings, they torture me. I cannot control
my mind. It places dreadful ideas before me. I realize
my utter dependence upon you for all that makes life
desirable—I could almost say for all that makes its
continuance possible. Before you came to us, at the time
of papa's death this winter, I was unhappy, but passively
unhappy, as one born blind might be yearning for
a sense denied and unknown to him. Now, when fears
regarding our relation to each other assail me I am like
one who, having enjoyed the rapture and glory of sight,
is struck blind, or who learns that sightlessness,
absolute and incurable, awaits him. A horror of great
darkness is upon me. Only you can relieve me of that horror;
therefore I write to you.
"Col. Rentoul Haig tells Margaret he heard from
acquaintances of yours in Paris this summer that you
have long been attached to a lady there who would
in every respect be a suitable wife for you. I know
that this cannot be true. Indeed, I know it. But I
implore you to tell me yourself that it is not true. Set
my mind at rest. The limits of my endurance are
reached. Misery is undermining my health, as well as
all the nobler elements of my character. I am a prey
to insomnia, and to obtain sleep I am obliged to have
recourse to drugs. I grow afraid of my own impulses.
Dear Adrian, write to me. Forgive me. Comfort me.
Reassure me. Yours,
"JOANNA SMYRTHWAITE."
Adrian folded up the letter slowly, returned it to his
pocket, and stood thinking.
Thanks to his strong dramatic sense, at first the thing
in itself, the isolating intensity of Joanna's passion, filled
his imagination. Every word was sincere, dragged live
and bleeding out of her heart. Baldness of statement
only made it the more telling. This was what she actually
believed regarding herself, what she really felt and
meant.—"The limits of my endurance are reached, I
suffer too much, I grow afraid of my own impulses." This
was not a way of talking, rhetoric, a pose; it was
reasoned and accurate fact. And, if he understood
Joanna aright, her capacity of suffering was enormous.
If the limit of endurance had now been reached, about
all which lay short of that limit it was terrible to think!
She had been tortured, and only in the extremity of
torture did she cry for help.
But here Adrian's dramatic sense gave before the
common instinct of humanity. The most callous of
men might very well be moved by Joanna's letter; and
Adrian was among the least callous of men, especially
where a woman was concerned. Therefore, for him,
practically, what followed? This question struck him
as quite the ugliest he had ever been called upon to
answer in the whole course of his life. To use poor
Joanna's favorite catch-word, a "dreadful" question—a
very dreadful question, as he saw it just now, taking
the warmth out of the sunshine and the color out of
life. He recalled those extremely disagreeable ten
minutes, spent among the sweet-scented allspice bushes, in
the garden of the Tower House. He had argued out
the question, or the equivalent of the question,
then—and, as he had believed, answered it fully and finally,
once and for all. But apparently he hadn't answered it
finally, since on its recurring now the consequences of
either alternative presented themselves to him with
such merciless distinctness.—The fact that his
conscience was clear in respect of Joanna, that she was
the victim of self-invented delusion—in as far as reciprocal
affection on his part went—made little appreciable
difference to the situation. Indeed, to prove his own
innocence was merely to cap the climax of her humiliation
with conviction of presumptuous folly.
Indescribably perplexed and pained, shocked by the
position in which he found himself, Adrian passed
absently back from the courtyard into the salon. He had
forgotten the third affaire Smyrthwaite in the storm and
stress of the second. Here, the third affaire presented
itself to him under a guise far from encouraging.
Bibby, the whiteness of the flannel suit bringing out his
limp, slatternly yet boyish figure into high relief as
against the red Utrecht velvet, lay crumpled sideways
in the largest of the chairs. His legs dangled over one
arm of it, his head nodded forward, sunk between his
pointed shoulders, his chin rested on his breast. An
ill-conditioned, hopeless, irreclaimable fellow! Yet still
the family likeness to Joanna remained—to the degraded
Joanna of the "funny pictures" upon René Dax's
studio wall—a Joanna wearing his, Adrian's, clothes,
moreover, whose mouth hung open as he breathed
stertorously in almost bestial after-dinner sleep.
Adrian looked once, picked up his hat, and fled.
For the ensuing three or four hours he walked aimlessly
up and down the streets of Rouen, along the pleasant
tree-planted boulevards and the quays beside the broad,
silent-flowing Seine. He was aware of lights, of blottings
of black shadow, of venerable buildings rich in beautiful
detail, of the brightly lighted interiors of wine-shops
and cafes open to the pavement, of people loud-voiced
and insistent, and of vehicles—these in lessening
number as it drew toward midnight—passing by. But all his
impressions were indefinite, his vision strangely blurred.
He walked, as a living man might walk through a phantom
city peopled by chaffering ghosts, for all that his
surroundings meant to him, his thoughts concentrated
upon the overwhelming personal drama, and personal
question, raised by Joanna's letter.
Must he, taking his courage rather brutally in both
hands, disillusion her and risk the results of such
disillusionment? Chivalry, pity, humanity, the very honor
of his manhood, protested as against some dastardly and
unpardonable act of physical cruelty. How he wished
she hadn't employed that illustration of blindness and
sight! The thought of her pale eyes fixed on him,
doting, imploring, worshiping, hungry with unsatisfied
passion, starving for his love, pursued him, making itself
almost visible to his outward sense. How was it possible
to sear those poor eyes, extinguishing light in them
forever by application of the white-hot iron of truth?
Before God, he could not do it! It was too horrible.
And yet, the alternative—to lie to her, to lie to love,
to be false to himself, to be false to the hope and purpose
of years, didn't his manhood, every mental, and moral,
and—very keenly—every physical fiber of him protest
equally against that? He saw Gabrielle as he had seen
her only this afternoon, in her fresh, grave beauty, the
promise of hidden delights, of enchanting discoveries in
her mysterious smile. Saw, as he so happily believed, a
certain awakening of her heart and sense toward the
joys which man has with woman and woman with man.
How could he consent to cut himself from all this and
take Joanna's meager and unlovely body in his arms?
It wasn't to be done. He turned faint with loathing and
unspeakable distress, staggered as though drunk, nearly
fell.
Bibby Smyrthwaite and Joseph Challoner for brothers,
Margaret Smyrthwaite for sister, Joanna for bride—this,
all which went along with it and which of necessity
it implied, was more than he could face. He would
rather be dead, rather ten thousand times. He said so
in perfect honesty, knowing that were the final choice
offered him now and here, notwithstanding his immense
value of life and joy in living he would choose
to die.
But in point of fact no such choice was offered him,
since in his opinion it is the act of a most contemptible
poltroon to avoid the issue by means of self-inflicted
death. No, he must take the consequences of
his own actions, and poor Joanna must take the
consequences of her own actions—in obedience to the
fundamental natural and moral law which none escape. And
among those consequences, both of her and of his own past
actions, was the cruel suffering which he found himself
constrained to inflict. He shrank, he sickened, for to be
cruel was hateful to him, a violation of his nature. In
a sort of despair he went back upon the whole question,
arguing it through once more, wearily, painfully, point
by point.
Adrian's aimless wanderings had, now, conducted him
to a small public garden laid out with flower borders,
shrubberies, and carefully tended islands of turf, beneath
the shadow of a chaste yet florid fifteenth-century church.
Clerestory windows glinted high above, touched by the
lamplight, and flying buttresses, thick with fantastic
carven flowers and little lurking demons, formed a
lace-work of stone against the sky. He sat down on one of
the garden benches, laying his hat beside him on the seat.
He doubled himself together, his elbows upon his knees,
pressing his hands against either side of his head.
He was very tired. He was also desperately sad. Never
before had he felt the chill breath of a trouble from which
there seemed no issue save by the creation of further,
deeper trouble. Never before had he—so it now appeared
to him—gauged the possibilities of tragedy in human
life. And the present situation had grown out of such
wholly accidental happenings—well-meant kindnesses
and courtesies, an overstrained delicacy in admitting
the reality of poor Joanna's infatuation and making her
understand that his affections were engaged elsewhere.
In his fear of assuming too much and appearing fatuous,
he had let things drift. He had been guilty of saying
that fatal word "too little" against which dear
Anastasia Beauchamp to-day fulminated. There he was to
blame. There was his real error, his real mistake. It
gnawed mercilessly at his conscience and his sensibility.
It would continue so to gnaw, whatever the upshot of this
disastrous business, as long as he lived. In the restrained
and conventional intercourse of modern, civilized life, the
difficulty of avoiding that fatal word "too little" is so
constant and so great. His mind, spent with thought
and emotion, dwelt with languid persistence upon this
point. In this particular he had shirked his duty both
to Joanna and to himself, with the terrible result that he
was doomed to inflict a cruel injury upon her or to wreck
his own life.
And at that moment, dully, without any quickening of
interest, amiable or the reverse, he perceived that a young
woman sat at the farther end of the bench. When he
came to think of it, he believed she had followed him
through the streets for some little time. Now she
coughed slightly and moved rather nearer to him,
fidgeted, pushing about the loose, shingly gravel, which
made small rattling noises, with her foot. Adrian still
sat doubled together pressing his hands against either
side of his head. Presently she began to speak, making
overtures to him, praising his handsome looks, his youth
his dress, his bearing, his walk, flattering and wheedling
him after the manner of her sorry kind. While expressing
admiration and offering endearing phrases, her voice
remained toneless and monotonous. And this peculiarity
rather than what she said aroused Adrian's attention.
He looked round and received a definite impression,
notwithstanding the dimness of the light. Her reddish hair
was turned loosely back from her forehead. Her face
was gaunt and worn under its layer of fard. Her mouth
was large, and the painted lips, though coarse, were
sensitive—her soul had not yet been killed by her
infamous trade. Her eyes were pale, desperate with shame
and with entreaty. And these were the eyes which, if he
would save all which made life noble and dear to him,
Adrian must strike blind!
During some few seconds he looked straight at her.
Then, feeling among the loose coins in his pocket, he
found a gold twenty-franc piece and put it into her
hand.
"It is no use," he said gravely and very sadly—speaking
whether to her or to Joanna Smyrthwaite he could
not tell. "I do not want you. My poor woman, I do
not want you. It is not possible that I ever should want
you. I am bitterly grieved for you, but you waste
your time."
And he rose and moved away, having suddenly
regained full possession of himself. He had ceased to
doubt in respect of Joanna. That passing of money
was to him symbolic, setting him free. He understood
that to marry Joanna would be a crime against God-given
instinct, against God-given love, against the God-given
beauty of all wholesome and natural things. The
sour, pedantic, man-imagined deity of some Protestant
sect might demand such hideous, almost blasphemous
sacrifice from its votaries; but never that supreme artist,
Almighty God the Creator, maker of man's flesh as well
as of his spirit, le bon Dieu of the divinely reasonable and
divinely human Catholic Church. To marry Joanna
would, in the end, constitute a blacker cruelty than to
tell her the whole truth. For he couldn't live up to that
lie and keep it going. He would hate her, and sooner
or later show that he hated her; he would inevitably be
unfaithful to her and leave her, thereby ruining her life
as well as his own.
He went back to the hotel. The little red Utrecht-velvet
upholstered salon still smelled of cooking, patchouli,
and cigarettes, plus the dregs of a tumbler of
brandy and soda and a something human and insufficiently
washed. Smyrthwaite's door was shut, and no
sound proceeded from behind it, for which Adrian
returned thanks and betook himself to bed. He was
dog-tired. He slept till broad day. On making a morning
reconnaissance he found Smyrthwaite's door still locked,
nor did knocking elicit any response. Somewhat
anxious, he went out into the courtyard. The window
was ajar, the room vacant, the bed undisturbed. Then
he remembered to have seen a tall, slight, loosely made
figure, wearing whitish garments, flitting hastily away
down a dim side-street as he turned into the rue Jeanne
d'Arc on his way home. Later Adrian discovered that
a pair of diamond and enamel sleeve-links, a set of pearl
studs, some loose gold and a hundred-franc note were
missing from his suit-case, of which the fastening had
been forced.
True to his predatory and roving instincts, Bibby had
"pinched" what he could and left.
The long drought broke at last in an afternoon and
night of thunder and scourging violence of rain,
drowning out summer. A week of chill westerly weather
followed, lowering gray skies, a perpetual lament of
wind through the great woodland, combined with a
soaking, misty drizzle which forced the firs and pines
into their blue-black winter habit and rusted the pink
spires of the heather. The flower-garden, dashed by the
initial downpour, became daily more sodden, its glory
very sensibly departed. Water stood in pools on the
lawns. Leaves, dessicated by the continuous sun-scorch,
fell in dingy brown showers from the beeches; and a
robin, perching upon one of the posts of the tennis-net,
practised the opening, plaintively sweet notes of his
autumn song.
On the Thursday evening of this wet week, Joanna
Smyrthwaite went to her room immediately after dinner,
and, lighting the candles, sat down at her bureau. The
rain beat against the windows. She heard it drip with
a continuous monotonous tapping off the edge of the
balcony on to the glass and tile roof of the veranda
below. She heard the intermittent sighing sweep of
the wind through the near trees, and the wet sucking
sob of it in the hinges and fastenings of the casements.
Nature wept, now petulantly, now, as it seemed, with the
resignation of despair; and Joanna, sitting at the bureau
with her diary open before her, listened to that weeping.
It offered a fitting accompaniment to her gloomy
concentration and exaltation of mind.
"August 29, 190-
"I supposed that I should have received an answer
to my letter in the course of to-day at latest, but none
has reached me," she wrote. "I am not conscious of
regretting the delay. The reply, when it does come,
can only confirm that which I already now know. I
am no longer in suspense, and I wait to receive the reply
merely to prevent the possibility of its falling into other
hands than my own. That I could not permit. Although
it can modify neither my intention nor my thought, it is
mine, it belongs to me alone; and I refuse to allow the
vulgar curiosity of any third person to be satisfied by
perusal of it. I am sure that I do not regret the
delay. It gives me time to reckon with myself and with
all that has occurred. It also gives me time to test
myself and make sure that I am not swayed by impulse,
but that my will is active and my reason unbiased by
feeling. I am quite calm. I have been so all day. For this
I am thankful, although whether my calmness arises from
self-control or from physical incapacity of further
emotion I cannot decide. I do not know that the cause really
matters, yet I should prefer to believe it self-control."
Joanna paused, leaning upon her elbow and listening
to the sobbing of wind and rain.
"I suppose finality must always produce repose,
however dreadful the cost at which finality is obtained.
Only so can I account for my existing attitude of mind.
I want, if I can, to put down clearly and consecutively
exactly what happened last night. I think it may be
useful to me in face of this period of waiting for the
answer to my letter; also, I wish to live through it
again step by step. I have learned very much during
the last twenty-four hours. I have learned that
pain, self-inflicted pain, can be voluptuous. Even a few
days ago I should have been scandalized by such an
admission. I am no longer scandalized. Torture has
emancipated me from many delusions and overnice
prejudices. I have not time now, even had I still
inclination, to be overnice.
"Margaret and Marion Chase dined in town and went
to the theater with Mr. Challoner last night. A London
touring company is giving some musical comedy at
Stourmouth. When they returned I was still awake. I
had not taken any of the tabloids Doctor Norbiton gave
me to procure sleep. I did not care to sleep. I
preferred to think. Margaret and Marion remained some
time upon the gallery laughing and talking rather
excitedly. They kept on repeating scraps of a frivolous
song which they had heard at the play; and of which, so
Margaret told me to-day—she apologized for the thoughtless
disturbance they had made—neither could remember
the exact tune. Their voices and the interest they
evidently took in so senseless and trivial a thing jarred upon
me. I felt annoyed and resentful. Their behavior offered
such a startling contrast to my own trouble and to the
whole tenor of my life that I could not but be displeased
by their light-mindedness. I felt my own superiority.
I did not attempt to disguise the fact of that superiority
from myself. I despised them. I may have done
wrong in despising them, but I did not care. The
ambition to assert myself, in some striking and forcible
manner which should compel recognition not only from
Margaret and Marion, but from the whole circle of our
acquaintance, took possession of me. I have always
shrunk from publicity and been weakly sensitive to
criticism and remark. I have been disposed to efface
myself. To rule others has been an effort to me. Any
influence I may have exercised has been exercised
in obedience not to inclination but to my sense of duty.
Now I felt differently. I felt my nature and intelligence
had never found their full expression, that the strength
of my character had never fully disclosed itself. I
desired—I still desire—to manifest what I really am, of
what I am capable. I even crave after the astonishment
and possible alarm such a disclosure would create.
"Thinking steadily, I came to the conclusion this desire
for entire and arresting self-expression is not actually
new in me. I saw that I have always, implicitly though
silently, entertained a conviction that the opportunity
for self-expression would eventually present itself. This
conviction has supported me under many mortifications.
In the events of the last six months that opportunity
appeared in process of taking tangible and very perfect
shape. More than my imagination had ever dared suggest
was in process of being granted me. If I married
Adrian—"
Joanna raised her hand from the paper, or rather it
raised itself, with a jerk, refusing further obedience. She
sat stiffly upright, listening to the wind and the rain.
The steady drip off the edge of the balcony on to the roof
below sounded indescribably mournful in its single,
muffled, reiterated note. Taken in connection with the
words she had just written, that mournfulness threatened
her composure. The muscles of her poor face twitched
and her winged nostrils quivered, in her effort to repress
an outbreak of emotion. After a struggle she turned
fiercely to her open diary.
"If I married Adrian Savage," she wrote, "this, in
itself, would bear indisputable witness to the fact of my
superiority, would justify me to myself and command the
respect of others. But, last night, I saw it was necessary
to go beyond that, and ask myself a question which, even
in my worst hours of doubt, I have never had sufficient
fortitude to ask myself before. I am anxious here to
state positively that I did ask myself the said question;
and that I answered it deliberately and calmly before
certain things happened, which I shall presently set
down. If I did not marry Adrian—"
Again Joanna's hand jerked away from the paper,
while every nerve in her body was contracted by a spasm
of almost intolerable pain. She put her left hand over
her heart, gasping, the agony for the moment was so
mercilessly acute. Yet, during that same moment, the old
doting, ecstatic expression overspread her face. In a
sense she welcomed, she gloried, in this visitation of pain.
"If I did not marry Adrian," she went on, "what
then? The need for self-justification, the need for
entire self-expression, would in that very dreadful event
become more than ever desirable—the only solace,
indeed, which could remain to me. Therefore, what had
better happen? What—because I definitely and irrevocably
willed it—must and should happen? I answered
the question last night, and my purpose has never
wavered. To-day I have spent some time in examining
the stock arguments against this purpose of mine. They
do not affect my determination, as I find that each one
of them is based upon some assumption which my reason
condemns as unsound and inadequate, or which is not
applicable in my peculiar case. I know what I am
going to do. The relief of that knowledge was
immediate. It continues to sustain me."
Here Joanna rose and paced the room. She still
wore the black silk and lace evening gown she had worn
at dinner. Her hair was dressed with greater care than
usual. Plain, flat-bosomed, meager, hard lines seaming
her cheeks and forehead, yet there was nothing broken or
weak in her bearing or aspect. Rather did she show as
a somewhat tremendous creature, pacing thus, solitary,
the familiar and soberly luxurious room, bearing with
indomitable pride the whole realized depth and height
of her trouble—a trouble to the thought of which, even
while it racked her, she clung with jealous obstinacy as
her sole possession of supreme and splendid worth. Her
restlessness being somewhat assuaged, she went back
and sat down to write.
"I do not attempt to account for what followed; I
only set it down in good faith and with such accuracy as
my memory permits. My memory has always been
good, and, since now I have nothing left to gain or to lose,
I have no temptation either to invent or to falsify.
About an hour after Margaret and Marion Chase returned
from the theater, and without any intervening
period of unconsciousness—my mind, indeed, still
occupied with the decision I had arrived at regarding my
future action—I found myself walking through the
streets of some foreign city. I was anxiously following
a person of whose name and character I was ignorant,
but who I was aware had a message of great importance
which he needed to deliver to me, and to whom I felt an
overpowering wish to speak. He walked apparently without
any particular destination in view, yet so rapidly that
I found it difficult to keep him in sight. Being tall,
however, and of fashionable appearance, he, fortunately for
me, was easily distinguishable from all other persons
whom I met.
"I say, I—yet I am conscious, dreadfully, even
infamously, conscious, that throughout I shared this
experience with a woman of different antecedents, of a
lower social position and inferior education to myself.
Our two personalities inhabited one and the same body,
for independent possession and control of which we
contended without intermission, sometimes I, sometimes
she, gaining the advantage. This association was very
frightful to me. I felt soiled by it. And, not only did I
in myself feel soiled, but hopes, emotions, aspirations
which until now I had believed to be pure and elevated,
assumed a vile aspect when shared by this woman's mind
and heart. Still I knew that of necessity I must remain
with her, continue to be, in a sense, part of her, if I was
to get speech of the man whom I—we—followed, and
to receive the message which he had to deliver.
"After long wandering through streets, some modern
and reminding me of Paris, others narrow, crooked, and
lined with ancient houses, I came to a small, formally
laid-out pleasure garden in the center of the town,
dominated by a singularly beautiful Gothic building,
probably a church. Benches were placed at intervals
round the garden along the shingled paths, between
massed shrubs and beds of heliotrope and roses. Upon
one of these benches, being overcome by fatigue and by a
conviction of unescapable fate, I sat down. So doing, I
perceived that, at the far end of the bench, the man whom
I had so long followed already sat. His attitude was
expressive of extreme dejection. His figure was bowed
together. His elbows rested upon his knees, his hands
were pressed against the sides of his head. I felt drawn
to him not only by a very vital attraction, but by pity,
for I could not doubt that, for some cause, he had
recently suffered severely, and was suffering severely even
now. I saw that this suffering blinded him to the outer
things, rendering him quite indifferent to or unaware of
my presence. Notwithstanding which, I—or she—the
woman to whom my personality was so horribly united—after
making some vulgar efforts to arouse his attention,
began to speak to him, pouring forth, to my utter and
inextinguishable shame, a gross travesty of my love
for Adrian Savage, of my most secret thoughts and
sensations in relation to that love, of my joy in his
presence, of my admiration for his talents, even for his
person, employing words and phrases meanwhile of a nature
revolting to me which outraged my sense of propriety
and self-respect—words and phrases which I was
utterly incapable of using and of which I had never
indeed gauged the actual meaning until they passed her
lips.
"A considerable time passed before the man gave any
sign that he heard what she—what I—said. He
remained immersed in thought, his head bent, his hands
supporting it. At last—"
And Joanna closed her eyes, waiting for a space,
listening to the sobbing of wind and dripping of rain.
"—he looked round at me. His face," she wrote, "was
that of Adrian; but of an Adrian whom I had never seen
before. It was worn and very pale. There were blue
stains beneath the eyes. All the gaiety, the beautiful,
self-confident strength and hopefulness were banished
from his expression, which was very stern though not
actually unkind. Then I knew that he had received
and read my letter; that the marks of suffering which
he bore had been caused by the contents of my letter.
I knew that the message which he had to deliver to me,
and to obtain which I had followed him through the
streets, forcing myself into union with this vicious
woman—in whose speech and actions I so dreadfully
participated—was nothing less than his answer to that letter.
"At last, looking fixedly at me, he said, very sadly:
'It is no use. I do not want you. Poor woman, I do
not want you. It is not possible that I should ever
want you. I am bitterly grieved for you; but you
waste your time.'
"As he spoke he placed some money in her hand,
and, having finished speaking, he rose and went away.
Not once did he hesitate or look back, but held himself
erect and walked as a man whose decision is deliberate.
She clutched the money tightly, whimpering; but I
had no part in her tears. I had no disposition to cry
then; nor have I had any since. I understood what
that piece of money meant. It was the price of Adrian's
freedom from my love. He paid me to go away.
"I remember noticing the fantastic carven stonework
of the church outlined against the night sky, while
shame and despair devoured me—shame and despair
intimate, merciless, unmitigated. Still clutching the piece
of money, the woman got up. I do not know anything
more about her, what she did, or who she was, or
where she went. For a time, as far as I am concerned,
the pulse of the world ceased to beat. And then I lay
here, at home, in my own room at the Tower House, and
heard the rain and wind in the trees just as I hear them
to-night.
"When Isherwood brought me my tea, at half-past
seven, she expressed concern at my appearance. I told
her I had not slept and that I felt tired and faint. She
insisted upon sending for Doctor Norbiton. I let her
do so. It was matter of indifference to me whether I
saw him or not. Nothing can change either facts or
the event. But Isherwood has always been kind and
faithful to me. I did not want to hurt her by opposing
her wishes. Doctor Norbiton sounded my heart. He
told both Isherwood and Margaret it was in a weak
state; but added that he believed such mischief as exists
to be functional rather than organic. He recommended
me to take the tabloids, which he gave me for insomnia,
sparingly, as their effect upon the heart is depressing.
I listened and agreed. Margaret expressed regret at my
condition. She offered to see Rossiter for me and spare
me the trouble of housekeeping. I let her do so.
"It has rained all day; but I have been fully occupied
in going through papers and accounts, and making sure
that my own affairs and those of the household are in
perfect order. This almost mechanical work is soothing.
I have always been fond of accounts. I remain quite calm.
Why should I be otherwise? I know the truth, and
have nothing left, therefore, either to fear or to hope."
The following evening Joseph Challoner was due to
dine at the Tower House. Pleading a return of
faintness and disinclination for conversation, Joanna
remained up-stairs in the blue sitting-room and retired
early to bed. The next entry in her diary reads thus:
"THE TOWER HOUSE, August 30, 190-, 9 P.M.
"I let Isherwood undress me. I asked her for my
white pleated négligé, which I found she had sent to the
cleaners' during the time my hands were hurt and I had
been obliged to give her my keys. I am glad to wear it
to-night. Isherwood was very kind and attentive to me.
I could almost think she suspected something, but I did
what I could to dissipate any suspicion she might
entertain. I promised her I would call her if I wanted her
during the night; but all that I really needed is quiet.
This is perfectly true. I do need quiet, unbroken quiet.
"Still I must try to put down events in their proper
order.—And first, I feel it is only just that I should note
how much I have thought of papa during these last two
very dreadful days. I have felt singularly near to him
in spirit and in sympathy. I know that I have rebelled
against his methods; and have both thought and spoken
harshly of him. I am sorry for this. I see now that,
in his position and possessing his authority, I should
have acted as he did. He valued wealth as lightly as
I do; though he was interested in the acquisition of
it. Business to him was an occupation rather than an
end in itself. He craved for entire self-expression—as
I have craved for it; and it was impossible for him
to find such expression in business. In public affairs,
economic or social reform, he might have found it; and
to the last, I believe, he hoped some opportunity of
entire self-expression would present itself. That, I think,
was why he disliked the idea of dying. He was ambitious
of impressing himself upon the mind of his generation
in the manner he inwardly felt himself capable of
doing. It hurt and angered him to leave life with his
personal equation unrecorded. He knew himself—as I
have known myself—to be superior to others both in
intellect and in the nature of his aims and ambitions.
He despised weakness. He despised what is common,
trivial, ignorant. He could not tolerate that those
about him should run after cheap pleasures in which
the mind has no part.
"This morning, about twelve o'clock, the rain lessened.
I ordered the carriage and drove by myself to the West
Stourmouth Cemetery. Leaving the carriage at the
entrance gates, I walked to his grave. The cemetery is
still but partially laid out. Patches of heather remain,
making the tombstones and monuments look bare and
white. I am glad papa's grave is on the highest ground.
Standing by it, I saw, through scuds of driving mist, the
Baughurst Woods, sloping to the shore, and beyond them
the sea. The loneliness of this growing camp of the
dead was sympathetic to me. I am leaving instructions
that I am to be buried beside papa's grave, if not in it.
I have never been so much of a companion or help to
any one as to him. He, at least, wanted me, though
he often frightened and wounded me. So I will go
back to him in death; and lie beside him in the rain, and
snow, and wind, and sunshine out there under the barren
gravel of the moor.
"I received Adrian's answer to my letter by the
six-o'clock post this evening. I feared giving way to
emotion on opening it; but I experienced very little
emotion. Of this I am glad. I am glad, too, infinitely
glad, that I determined what I would do before I so
strangely saw Adrian and spoke with him the night
before last. If I had not determined my state of mind
would have been far more agonizing. Calmness and
self-respect would have been impossible. Margaret was
with me in the blue sitting-room when Edwin brought
me my letters. I do not know whether she observed
that I received one from Adrian. I fancy not. I
waited until she had gone before reading it. It proved
just such a letter as I might have anticipated, written
with every intention of kindness. It exhibits his
character in a very agreeable light—affectionate, courteous,
penetrated by regret on my account. He does his
utmost to spare my feelings and soften the blow he is
compelled to deal me. I appreciate all this. He praises
my intelligence, and points out to me, very gracefully,
the advantages of my education and of my wealth. He
points out, too, the endlessly varied interests of life.
He admits that he has loved Madame St. Leger for
many years; and he reproaches himself deeply with not
having spoken to me about his affection for her when he
stayed here in May, and when I pressed him to tell me
whether he was suffering from any anxiety in which I
could be helpful to him.
"That is the answer of the man of society, the well-bred
man of the world; the man, moreover, of sensibility
and nice feeling. I quite appreciate the tone and tact of
his letter. But I had already received the answer of the
man himself. It was simpler, so simple as to need no
supplement—'It is no use. I do not want you. My
poor woman, I do not want you. It is not possible that I
should ever want you. I am bitterly grieved for you;
but you waste your time.'
"He has never wanted me. I have wasted my time.—That
is all. And assuredly that is enough, and more than
enough? I will waste no more time, Adrian. I will go
where time, thought, love, and the rejection of love are not.
"The rain has come back. It drips and drips upon
the veranda roof. I have burned all your letters. No
one has ever seen or touched them save myself. This
volume of my diary I leave to you. I shall seal it up,
and direct it to you. At least read it—I am no longer
ashamed. I want you to know me as I really am. Life
is already over. I am already dead. So I am not afraid.
I welcome the darkness of the everlasting night which is
about to absorb me into itself.—I wear the white gown I
wore the second time you kissed my hand.—I do not blame
you, Adrian. It is just as natural that you should not love
me as that I should have loved you. I understand that.
"And very soon now all my trouble will be over and
passed. Soon I shall sleep in the arms of the lover who
has never failed man or woman yet—in the arms of
Death. JOANNA SMYRTHWAITE."
Challoner stood turning up the collar of his
mackintosh. Looking back between the lines of
dark, wind-agitated trees, the red mass of the house,
through a dull whiteness of driving rain, showed
imposing both in height and in extent. Challoner measured
it with a satisfied, even triumphant, eye. Its large size
suited his own large proportions capitally. This evening,
though early and still light, all the blinds were drawn
down. This was as it should be. He favored the
observance of such outward conventional decencies. Then,
as he moved away with his heavy, lunging tread, the rain
and wind took him roughly on the quarter.
This rearward onslaught caused him no annoyance,
however, since his thoughts were altogether
self-congratulatory. Circumstance had played, and was
playing, into his hands in the handsomest fashion. Well,
every one gets his deserts in the long run; so he could
but suppose he deserved his present good fortune! Only
in this case the run had proved such an unexpectedly
short and easy one. For hadn't he arrived, practically
arrived, feeling every bit as fresh as when he started?—Here
a turn of half-superstitious, half-cynical piety took
him. The Lord helps those who have the nous to help
themselves. He praised the Lord! Having offered
which small tribute, or bribe, to the Judge of all the Earth
who cannot do other than right, he proceeded to check
off a few of his well-earned blessings.
The announcement of his engagement to Margaret
Smyrthwaite had appeared, about three weeks previously,
in the society columns of local and London papers.
Stourmouth buzzed with the news, to a loudness which
he found both humorous and flattering. In private
Challoner laughed a horse-laugh more than once at thus
finding how he had made his fellow-townsmen "sit up." He
enjoyed the joke of his own social elevation and prospective
wealth hugely. And Mrs. Gwynnie had been quite
good, thank the Powers! If the rest of his acquaintance
had been made to "sit up" by the news, she—to quote
his own graceful manner of speech—had "taken it lying
down." Really he felt very kindly toward her. She'd
given no trouble. But then the world was going a lot
better with Mrs. Gwyn than she'd any right to expect.
Her rent and her quarterly allowance were paid with
absolute regularity. Not every man would have done
as much for her after the dance she'd led him! Beattie
Stacey was safely married last week to her young
R.M.S. second officer. And, so Challoner heard, mainly on the
strength of the said young officer's excellent reputation,
Gwynnie herself had taken out a new lease of social life
since her installation in the white house opposite the
Marychurch Borough Recreation Ground. She'd been
cute enough to throw herself into that department of
Anglican religio-parochial activity which busies itself
with variety entertainments, rummage sales, concerts,
"happy evenings," bazaars, and such-like contrivances
for providing—under cover of charity—audiences for
idle amateurs ambitious of publicity. Curates waxed
enthusiastic over "Mrs. Spencer's splendidly unselfish
helpfulness" and "wonderful organizing power."—The
thought of that poor little, earnest, light-weight,
impecunious baggage of an Anglo-Indian widow in the
character of a church-worker tickled her ex-lover
consumedly.
But now Challoner felt constrained to put a term to
the slightly ribald mirth induced by this checking of
his well-deserved blessings, and bestow himself within
the four corners of an appropriately black-edged manner.
For, as he turned out of the gates at the end of the
carriage-drive, he caught sight of Col. Rentoul Haig's
unmistakable figure, pompous and dapper even when
clothed in an "aquascutum" and carrying a streaming
umbrella, walking briskly down The Avenue. Making
a pretense of deep abstraction, Challoner passed him;
then, drawing up suddenly, wheeled round.
"You, Colonel?" he said. "I beg your pardon. For
the minute I didn't recognize you. My thoughts were
elsewhere."
He looked on the ground, as one who struggles with
manly pride against strong emotion.
"You may have heard of the trouble we are in at the
Tower House?" he added.
Rentoul Haig disapproved the "we"; but then he
warmly and articulately disapproved the whole matter
of the Challoner-Smyrthwaite alliance. Nevertheless
he hungered for first-hand news, thirsted for retailable
detail; and who could supply these better than
Challoner? He pocketed disapproval, and answered with
fussy alacrity, peering upward, into the younger man's
curiously non-committal countenance, from beneath the
shelter of his umbrella.
"Very fortunate to run across you like this, Challoner,"
he said. "I was coming to leave cards and inquire.
Shocking news this, most shocking. I heard the report
from Woodford, at the Club, after luncheon, and, I give
you my word, it quite upset me."
"I'm not surprised, Colonel," Challoner put in gloomily.
"Why, only yesterday morning I saw her out driving
between twelve and one—just upon the half-hour it
must have been—as I was crossing The Square on my
way to the Club. When Woodford told me, I said,
'God bless my soul, it's incredible!'"
Challoner's lips parted with an unctuous smack.
"Incredible or not, Colonel, it is only too sadly true.
In the midst of life we are in death, you know. I don't
set up to be a serious man, but an event like this does
bring the meaning of those words home to you—makes
you think a bit, reminds you what an uncommonly
slippery hold even the healthiest of us has on life."
Watching the effect of these lugubrious moralizings
upon his auditor, Challoner had the pleasure of seeing
the latter's face grow small and blue in the shade of
the wet umbrella.—"Looks like a sick frog under a
toadstool," he reflected. "Well, let snobby old froggy
turn blue, feel blue—the bluer the better." It served
him jolly well right. Hadn't he said no end of nasty
things about his, Challoner's, coming marriage? Then
he proceeded with the amiable operation commonly
known as "rubbing it in."
"Ah! yes," he said, "I knew how you'd feel it, Colonel.
Without being oversentimental, it is a thing to break up
one's sense of personal security. And a relation of yours
too! Only nine-and-twenty—a mere child compared to
you, of course, Colonel. It's always painful to see the
younger generation go first. Yes, I knew how you'd feel
it. Kind of you to come off at once like this to make
inquiries. It will please Margaret, poor, dear girl. She
sent for me directly they made the discovery this morning,
and I've been with her ever since, looking after her
and putting things through. You see, Joanna always
kept the management of the establishment in her own
hands, and the whole household fell to pieces like a
bundle of sticks to-day. All the servants lost their
heads. Somebody had to step in and lay hold.
Margaret is behaving beautifully. This bearing up is all
very well at first, but I'm afraid she's bound to pay
later. However, thank God! I've the right, now, to
take care of her."
"Quite so—no doubt—yes, exactly," Haig responded,
in rather chilly accents. "Of course. But I have heard
nothing but the bare fact, Challoner. Quite sudden,
was it—quite unexpected?"
"Yes, and no." He spoke slowly, as one weighing his
words.
"I sincerely trust there isn't any question of an
inquiry?"
From his superior height Challoner looked down at
the speaker in momentary and sharp suspicion. What
story was current in Stourmouth, he wondered? Could
the servants have talked? Had the empty tabloid
bottle and the tumbler with a film of white sediment
clouding the inside of it, become a matter of common
knowledge? He found Rentoul Haig's expression
reassuring.
"Certainly not—quite uncalled for, I am thankful to
say," he replied largely. "No, no, Colonel, nothing
of that sort. An inquest is a pretty sickening business
under ordinary circumstances; but it amounts to a positive
insult, in my opinion, in the case of a refined,
sensitive gentlewoman."
Rentoul Haig came near dancing with impatience.
"True, true," he murmured.
"So, pray put that idea out of your head, and out of
everybody else's head, Colonel. You'll be doing
Margaret a kindness, doing poor Joanna a kindness too.
People are awfully unscrupulous in the reports they
circulate. But then, of course, I know we can count
on your gentlemanly feeling and good taste."
A moment more and Colonel Haig believed he should
burst. He was being patronized—patronized, he the
bright, particular star of the most elect circle of
Stourmouth society, and by Joseph Challoner!
"The fact is she hasn't been in a good state of health
for some time. Margaret has spoken to me about it
and a lot of people have remarked upon it. Her
peculiarities seemed to grow upon her lately. And she was
not an easy person to deal with—in some ways very
like our poor friend her father. Margaret hasn't said
much to me, but I fancy she's found her sister's temper
a little trying. Health, I dare say, as much as anything.
Norbiton has been treating her for sleeplessness and
general debility—nerves, you know. She always was
highly strung. Yesterday morning, they tell me, she looked
appallingly ill and complained of having fainted in the
night. They had Norbiton in, and he sounded her—was
not at all satisfied with the heart's action. I am not
surprised at that. You remember how peculiar her eyes
were—globular—"
Challoner looked down with rich enjoyment at the
"pop-eyes," so he gracefully phrased it, staring eagerly,
angrily up from beneath the streaming umbrella.
"Globular," he repeated; "and with that pale circle
round the edge of the iris, which invariably, in my
experience, indicates a weak heart. Norbiton prescribed for
her, and told her to keep quiet. Margaret, poor, dear
girl, did her best; but Joanna insisted on driving out.
I was dining there last night, and she didn't come down.
They told me Norbiton's opinion, but I supposed it was
just a case for care. And then, when her maid went to
call her this morning, she found her stone cold. She
must have been dead several hours—died in her sleep."
And both men stood silent, awed in spite of themselves,
by the thought of Joanna Smyrthwaite lying dead.
"Shocking occurrence, very shocking indeed!" Colonel
Haig remarked presently, fussily clearing his throat.
"You say peculiarities had grown upon poor Miss Smyrthwaite
recently. One would be glad to know why—to have
some clue to the reason for that. There were rumors, I
believe, a few months back of an—er—of an attachment
on her part, which—it is a delicate subject to approach—was,
in fact, rather misplaced. And—well—you know,
one cannot help putting two and two together."
"Oh, as to anything of that sort," Challoner returned
somewhat roughly, throwing his big body back from the
hips and moving a step aside, as though to conceal
justifiable annoyance,—"you really must excuse me, Colonel.
Standing in the relation I do to both the Smyrthwaite
ladies, it is a subject I hardly care to discuss. I can't
help knowing a good deal, and I can't help what I've
noticed; but I don't feel at liberty to speak. Mr. Savage
stayed twice at the Tower House this year, as you are
aware; and—people have eyes in their heads. I don't
mind telling you, he and I came to loggerheads over the
division of the property. That's what first really brought
Margaret and me together. I had to protect her interests,
or she would have come off a very bad second. And,
though it's early days to mention it, I don't mind telling
you in confidence—the strictest confidence, you
understand, Colonel—"
"You know by this time, I hope, Challoner, how
entirely you can trust me?" the other remonstrated, at
once famished for further information and bristling with
offended dignity.
"To be sure I do.—Well, then, it may interest you to
hear that Margaret has the old home secured to her. I
am pleased on her account, for she's fond of the place.
Personally, there are several houses in Baughurst Park
I prefer. However, that's neither here nor there. If she's
pleased I'm pleased, naturally. But, exclusive of the
house and its contents, she hardly benefits at all under
her sister's will."
In his excitement Rentoul Haig lost control of his
umbrella, which, tilting in a gust of wind, discharged a
small cataract of water down the back of his neck.
"Bless my soul," he exclaimed, "you don't say so!
What ungodly weather! Where on earth does all her
money go to?"
"You may well ask," Challoner replied grimly. "In
the case of her dying unmarried her share in the mills
and the rest of the Yorkshire property is left to
Mr. Andrew Merriman, the partner and manager—a self-made
man, who had the wit to get round old Mr. Smyrthwaite.
He's feathered his own nest very tidily, it strikes
me, one way and another. And the bulk of the invested
property—prepare yourself for a pleasant surprise,
Colonel—Joanna leaves, on trust, to her scrapegrace,
rascally brother."
A flashlight hope of a solid legacy had momentarily
illuminated Rentoul Haig's horizon. But the light of
hope was extinguished almost as soon as kindled, giving
him just time to be mortally disappointed. His face
fell, while Challoner, watching, could barely repress his
glee.
"But, but," he bubbled, "every one has been assured
for years that the good-for-nothing boy was dead!"
"I don't want to be inhuman, but I can only say that,
for the sake of my future wife's peace of mind, I most
sincerely and cordially trust he is dead—dead and done
with. Judging by what you told me yourself, Colonel,
from a child he has been a downright bad lot, a regular
waster. You may also be interested to hear we owe this
precious bit of business to Mr. Adrian Savage. He came
to Joanna, when he was over last, with some cock-and-bull
story about young Smyrthwaite's turning up, half-starved,
in Paris last winter. Worked upon her feelings
no end with a whole lot of Frenchified false sentiment—brother
and sister, the sacredness of family, and that sort
of fluff-stuff. I am bound to say plainly I date the
break-up of her health from that moment. He spoke to me
about young Smyrthwaite, but, of course, I refused to
touch it. Gave him a piece of my mind which I fancy he
didn't quite relish, as he packed up and took himself off,
on the quiet, next morning. As I told him, if he and
Merriman wanted to dump the young scoundrel upon his
two unfortunate sisters they mustn't look to me for
assistance—the job, as I told him, wasn't in Joseph
Challoner's line, not at all. Now, Colonel, I ought not to
detain you any longer. I'm pleased to have had the chance
to set your mind at ease on one or two points. And
you'll do both Margaret and myself a favor if you will
tell every one it was heart, just simply heart—a thing
that might happen to any one of us, you or me, for
instance, any day. Margaret will feel it very kind and
thoughtful of you to call, like this at once, to inquire.
Now I really must be off. Good-evening to you. Let
you know the date of the funeral? Of course—good-evening."
And he swung up The Avenue, in the shrinking light,
under the swaying, dripping trees, highly elate.
"Choked old froggy off neatly," he said to himself,
"and got my knife into highty-tighty Cousin Adrian too.
I wonder if he did carry on with Joanna. I'd give
something to know—dare say it'll come out in time.
Anyhow, he wouldn't touch her money; though it would have
been bad policy to acquaint old Haig with that little fact.
Better take the short-cut home. Stiff from standing so
long in the wet; but it's worth while, if only for the
fun of making old Haig feel so confoundedly cheap."
Supported by these charitable reflections, he turned
off the main road into a footpath which, after skirting
the gardens of a large villa facing on to The Avenue,
struck northwestward across an as yet unreclaimed
portion of the Baughurst Park Estate. By following this
route Challoner took the base instead of the two sides of
a triangle, thus saving about a quarter of a mile in his
walk home to Heatherleigh. A dark plain of high, straggling
heather, broken here and there by a thicker darkness
of advancing ranks of self-sown firs, lay on either
side the grayness of the sand and flint strewn track.
Even in sunshine the region in question was cheerless,
and, as seen now, in the driving rain and fading daylight,
it bore a positively forbidding aspect. But to this
Challoner, having returned to enumeration of his
well-deserved blessings, was sublimely indifferent.
And among those blessings—here, alone, free to
disregard conventional black-edged decencies and be honest
with himself—Joanna Smyrthwaite's death, although an
ugly suspicion of suicide did hang around it, might, he
felt, be counted. Making the admission, he had the
grace to feel slightly ashamed of his own cynicism. In
the first shock of the tragedy, when Marion Chase sent
for him in the morning, he had been genuinely troubled
and overset. But, as the day wore on, the advantages
of the melancholy event disclosed themselves more and
more clearly. Joanna Smyrthwaite never liked him,
considered him her social inferior, didn't mince matters
in expressing her objection to her sister's engagement.
Ignored him, when she got the chance, or snubbed him.
Distinctly she'd done her best to make him feel
awkward; and there was bound to be friction in the future
both in their family relation and in the management
of the Smyrthwaite property. Joanna was uncommonly
strong. He, for one, had never underrated the force of
her character. He even owned himself a trifle afraid
of her, afraid of some pull—as he expressed it—that
she might have over Margaret. Now he would have
Margaret to himself, exclusively to himself—and Challoner's
blood grew hot, notwithstanding the chill dreariness of
wind and wet, thinking of that.
For his feeling toward Margaret Smyrthwaite had
come to be the master power of his life, of all his schemes
of self-aggrandizement. After the somewhat coarse and
primitive manner of his kind, he was over head and ears
in love with her. He was proud of her, almost sensitively
anxious to please her; ready, for all his burly,
bullying roughness, to play faithful dog, fetch and carry
and slave for her. No woman had ever affected him or
excited his passions as she did. In food he relished
highly seasoned dishes to apprehend the flavor of which
you do not need to shut your eyes and listen. And
Margaret Smyrthwaite's attractions were of the highly
seasoned order, the effect of her full-fleshed, slightly
overdressed and overscented person presenting itself
without any baffling reserve, frankly assailing and
provoking the senses.—Oh! he'd treat her like a queen;
work for her; buy her jewels, motor-cars, aeroplanes if
she fancied them; pet, amuse, make Stourmouth bow
down to, make himself a great man, for her!—Sir Joseph
and Lady Challoner—a loftier flight than that—who
could tell? Maybe a peerage. Lord and Lady
Baughurst—why not? After all, if you play your cards
cleverly enough such apparently improbable things do
happen, particularly in this blessed twentieth century,
when money is the prime factor.
And there was money in plenty, would be more, unless
he was uncommonly out of his reckoning. At the start,
so he calculated, their united incomes—his own and
Margaret's—would amount to getting on for twelve
thousand. All to the good, too, since there was no
drain of a large landed estate absorbing more than
half its yearly revenue in compulsory outgoings. They
would be married soon, quite soon. Her sister's death
and her present loneliness supplied ample reason for
pushing on the wedding. It must be a quiet one, of
course, out of respect for black-edged decencies. But
he didn't object to that. The thing was to get her.—And
then he'd carry her away, right away, shaking her
free of the dismal, old-fashioned, Smyrthwaite rut
altogether. They'd take a three months' honeymoon
and travel somewhere, anywhere; go a yachting trip,
say, up the Mediterranean. Never since he was a boy
at school had he taken a holiday. It had been grind,
grind, scheme, scheme, climb, climb without
intermission. Not but what he'd climbed to some purpose,
since he'd got high enough at forty to pluck such a
luscious mouthful as Margaret off the apple-tree
against which he'd set up his ladder! Now he would
take a holiday, if only to show other men what a
prize Joseph Challoner had won in the shape of a
woman.
Amorous, uxorious, his whole big body tingling with
emotion, he forged along the path across the darkling
moorland, breasting the wind-driven sheets of cold
rain.
"Hi! slow up there, you great, lumbering, greasy-skinned
elephant, and tell me where the devil I've got to
in this blasted old wilderness!" a voice shouted.
At the same time he was aware that a narrow strip of
the gray pathway in front of him reared itself up on end,
assuming human form—a human form, moreover, oddly
resembling that of Adrian Savage.
The style of the address was scarcely mollifying, and
Challoner had all a practical man's hatred both of being
taken by surprise and of encountering phenomena which
he could not account for at once in a quite satisfactory
and obvious manner. He came straight to the
baffling apparition, and looked it steadily, insolently,
up and down, the bully in him stirred into rather
dangerous activity. The ridicule of his personal
appearance wounded his vanity. The interruption of his
dreams of love and glory infuriated him; while the
fancied likeness of the speaker to Adrian Savage
sharpened the edge of both offenses.
"I advise you to keep a civil tongue in your head,
or you may happen to find this wilderness an even more
blasted and blasting locality than will at all suit you,"
he said threateningly.
At close quarters the slouching figure was certainly
not that of Adrian Savage, nor was the weak, dissolute,
blue-eyed face. Yet, although seen indistinctly in the
waning light, the said face struck Challoner as
unaccountably familiar. What on earth, who on earth was the
fellow? Not an ordinary tramp, for his speech, though
thick with drink, and his clothes, though ill-kept and
dirty, were those of a man of education and position.
Challoner continued to scrutinize him. And under that
unfriendly and menacing scrutiny the young man's tone
changed, declining to petulant almost whining apology.
"You needn't bluster," he said. "I meant no harm;
and you know you did look awfully funny and shiny!
I want to know where I am. I came across from Havre
to Barryport in an onion-boat, because it was cheapest.
I'm not overflush of cash. So I've come to look up some
of my people who live about here."
"Charming surprise for them," Challoner said.
"And it blew like blazes all last night. Between the
motion and the stench of the onions I was as sick as
Jonah's whale. Nothing left inside of me except just
myself. One of those Breton sailor chaps, hawking his
beastly vegetables, came a bit of the way from Barryport
with me. He told me to cut across these commons
and I should be sure to come out all right; but I expect
he lied just to get quit of me."
"More than possible," Challoner said.
"I ought to have stuck to the tram-lines, but my
head's rather light. I haven't got over the Jonah
business yet. I lost my bearings altogether somehow,
through feeling so awfully slack. I've been sheltering in
under those mangy old fir-trees for I don't know how
long, hoping somebody might pass. And I'm wet to the
skin, and as cold as charity."
"Very interesting indeed, but no earthly concern of
mine. So if you've got to the end of your tale I'll
continue my walk. Good-day," Challoner commented,
preparing to resume his homeward journey.
The young man caught him by the arm.
"Say, but you can't leave me alone in this
God-forsaken hole?"
"Oh yes, I can," Challoner answered. "Kindly take
your dirty paw off my sleeve, will you? else I may be
compelled to have a word with the local authorities
about a case of assault, attempted robbery with violence,
and such sweet little games. However, it wouldn't be
the first time you've made acquaintance with the inside
of a police cell, unless I'm much mistaken."
"I don't mean any harm. I only want you to tell me
the way. I can't lie out here in the wet all night. It
would rot me with chills and fever."
The wind had increased in force. Now the tumult of
it was loud. It rushed through the firs, bending them
low, tearing off dry branches and tufted tassels; then
fled on, screaming, across the dark plain of heather like
some demented thing let loose. The speaker craned his
neck upward and raised his voice to a quavering shout in
the effort to make himself heard. His face was close to
Challoner's; and again the latter was puzzled by something
unaccountably familiar in the features and general
effect of it. Whereupon the bullying instinct gave place
to caution.
"See here," he said, "you must behave like a reasonable
being, not like a driveling sot, if you want me to
take any trouble about you. Tell you your way, you
young fool, your way where?"
"To the Tower House, something Park—Baughurst
Park—that's the blooming name of it, where my people
live."
Challoner started; he could not help it. Then he
waited till the next gust of wind had spent its fury,
and, in the lull which followed, spoke very slowly.
"So that's the blooming name of the blooming place
where your people live, is it? And who may your people
be, if you please, and what is your business with them?"
"What, the deuce, does that matter to you?" the other
answered, trying to ruffle, yet shrinking away nervously,
while the wind, gathering force again, whipped his legs
and back, showing the lines of his wasted, large-boned
frame through his thin, light-colored clothing.
"As it happens, it matters very much to me," Challoner
retorted, "because some very particular friends of mine
live at the Tower House. It may amuse you to hear
I have just come from there, and that you very certainly
can't gain access to the Tower House without my
permission, and that I very certainly shall not give that
permission. Young gentlemen of your particular kidney
aren't required there. The men-servants would kick
you out, and quite properly. We know how to treat
loafers and tippling impostors who try to sponge upon
gentlewomen here in England.—Now come along with
me. I'll see you as far as the tram-line, and pay your
fare to Barryport, and you can go on board your
onion-boat again. Also I'll telephone through to the central
police station directly I get home and give the Stourmouth
and Barryport police a little description of you.
So step out, if you please. No malingering."
As he finished speaking Challoner grasped the young
man solidly by the shoulder, propelling him forward,
but the latter, slippery as an eel, wriggled himself free.
"Let go, you great hulking beast!" he cried. "I'm
not an impostor. I'm William Smyrthwaite, and my
sister Joanna means to provide for me. I know all about
that. A chap who I ran across three days ago in Rouen
told me. We always were chummy in the old days,
Nannie and I. She'll tell you I'm speaking the truth
fast enough, and make you look d—d silly. She'll
recognize and acknowledge me, see if she don't!"
"Upon my word, I'm afraid she's not likely to have an
opportunity of doing anything of the kind, poor lady,"
Challoner returned; and he laughed at his own rather
horrible joke. "So come along, Mr. Who-ever-you-are,
alias William Smyrthwaite, Esq. I begin to think I'd
better see you safe on board your precious onion-boat
myself, and have you affectionately looked after till she
sails. It may save both of us trouble."
"You beast, you cursed, great, shiny, black devil!"
Bibby shouted. And he clawed and struck at his
tormentor passionately.
The first touch of those striking, clawing hands let the
underlying wild animal loose in Challoner. A primitive
lust of fight took him, along with a savage joy in the act
of putting forth his own immense physical strength.
Still, at first, his temper remained fairly under control,
and he played with his adversary, feinted and parried.
But the wretched boy did not fight fair. He indulged in
sneaking, tricky dodges learned amid the moral and social
filth of the Paris under-world and in South American
gambling hells and doss-houses. Soon Challoner lost his
temper, saw his chance, took it; delivered one blow,
straight from the shoulder, which, landing on Bibby's
temple, dropped him like so much lead on the
rain-washed flints of the crown of the pathway. Then he
stood breathing heavily, his eyes bloodshot, the veins
standing out like cords on his forehead, the intoxication
of battle at once stupefying and maddening him.
Presently Bibby's limbs twitched; and, as though
moved by a spring, he sat bolt upright, his elbows set
back, his hands, the thick-jointed fingers wide apart,
raised to the level of his shoulders.
"He's done me in, the clumsy, murderous brute!"
he panted. Then childishly whimpering—"Nannie," he
wailed, "poor old Nannie, so you're dead too. Golly,
what a sell! Never mind. I'm just coming."
He lurched and fell sideways, rolling over face
downward into a long, sandy puddle edging the pathway.
Five minutes, nearly ten minutes passed, while Challoner
remained standing stock-still in the volleying wind
and blinding rain and forlorn fading light of the
moorland. At last he shook himself, went forward and knelt
beside the motionless Thing lying close against the
black ragged fringe of heath, upon its stomach, in the
sandy wetness. For some time he couldn't bring
himself to touch it. Then putting strong constraint upon
himself, he turned it over and bent low, staring at it.
It reminded him of the big, white, yellow-headed
maggots he used to pick out of the decaying wood of the
old summer-house in the little garden at home as a boy,
and use for bait when he went fishing in the river at
Mary church. Yes—it was queerly like those maggots.
But somehow it wore the clothes of Adrian Savage.
And its poor face was that of Joanna Smyrthwaite as
he had seen her this morning in the agitated silence of
her room, stretched cold and lifeless beneath the fine
lace coverlet of her satin wood bed. Only her eyes were
shut, and this Thing's eyes were wide, wide open. Now
its loose lips parted. Its mouth opened too, while a
dark thread trickled slowly down its chin into the
hollow of its throat inside its dirty, crumpled collar.
Challoner tumbled up hastily and waited, breathing
hard and brushing the rain and sweat off his face with
the back of his hand. Gradually his mind began to
work clearly. His sense of ordinary every-day
happenings, their correlation and natural consequences, of
his own identity, his business, his hopes of worldly
advancement, wealth and titles, came back to him. He
understood that he must decide, act, cover up what he
had done, get rid of this accusing, motionless Thing lying
open-eyed, open-mouthed in the pathway.
He knelt down again, put his arms round the limp
body, with a mighty lift and heave flung it sack-like
across his shoulder, staggered on to his feet, and,
heading southwestward in the teeth of the gale, laboring under
the weight of that which he carried, plowed his way
doggedly across the desolate outstretch of rough,
resilient heather, down into the heart of the straining,
bellowing, storm-swept woodland.
It was late, long past his usual dinner-hour, when
Challoner reached Heatherleigh. To his own surprise,
he accounted for himself to his servant as the man
helped him off with his mackintosh. He'd been
detained, had got a chill, he believed; didn't know that
he wanted any dinner. Yes—let them send whatever
they'd got ready—hot, and the plainer the better.
He'd have it when he came down—in ten minutes. He
must change first, he was so confoundedly wet.
For the sake of appearances he made an effort to eat;
but the sight and smell of food turned his stomach.
Still complaining of chill, he left the table and went into
the smoking-room. Though an abstemious man, both
from habit and policy, he mixed himself a remarkably
stiff brandy and soda, set it down on the large
writing-table—loaded with bundles of folded papers,
documents engrossed on vellum and tied with pink
tape—and forgot to drink it. Went round the room turning
all the incandescent gas-lamps full on. The chocolate-colored
imitation leather paper with which the walls
were hung made the room dark; and Challoner felt a
strong aversion to the dark. He wanted to see every
object quite plainly and in its entirety. He took a
cigar from the cedar-lined silver box Margaret
Smyrthwaite had given him, standing on the revolving
bookcase—looked at it and put it back. Somehow he couldn't
smoke. Sank down in an arm-chair and sat glowering,
like some sullen, savage, trapped animal, into the empty
grate.
More than once, fatigue overcoming him, he dozed,
only to wake, with a start, crying out loud:
"It wasn't my fault. I didn't begin it. He hit me
first."
Then, clearer understanding returning, he continued:
"I struck him in self-defense—before God—as I hope
to be saved, I did. At most they could bring it in
manslaughter. I did it for Margaret's sake, to save her
from being exploited and sponged on by the drunken
young rotter. Ah! my God—but if it was true, if, as
he claimed to be, he was her brother, how can I go to
her with his blood on my hands? Margaret—I'm in
hell. Forgive me—don't believe it! Never know—my
own poor, splendid darling—God, how I love
her—Margaret—Margaret—never know—I can't, I can't lose
you."
And Challoner broke down, sobs shaking his great,
amorous body and tearing his bull throat.
Toward morning at the turn of the tide the gale abated
and the rain ceased. When daylight came, but not until
then, Challoner went up-stairs to his bedroom, the
windows of which faced east. He drew back the curtains,
pulled up the wooden-slatted Venetian blinds and watched
the brightness widen outward and upward behind the
ragged crests of the stone pines. As a rule he had not
time or care to waste on the beauties of nature, but he
found vague, inarticulate solace in the gaudy colors
of this wild sunrise. He was calmer now, and the
strong daylight helped to drive out exaggerations of
sentiment and fearful fancies. In short, his impregnable
health and physical courage, his convenient coarseness
of moral fiber and indomitable tenacity of purpose,
began to assert themselves. He began to argue and not
unably to plead his own cause to himself.
For, look at the ghastly episode what way you
pleased, how could he be blamed for it? The whole
thing was accident, accident pure and simple, which he
could not foresee, and equally could not prevent. It
had been sprung on him out of a clear sky. He was
rushed, not given an instant's breathing space for
consideration. And that was manifestly unfair. Any man
might lose his head and be betrayed into violence by
such vile provocation.
His spirits revived.
And, when all came to all, there was not a tittle of
evidence against him! After parting with Haig he had
not met a soul. He could swear no one had seen him
turn out of The Avenue into the footpath. The rain
would have obliterated all traces of the struggle by this
time, and wet heather, thank goodness, doesn't show
tracks. Though why he should trouble about such
details he didn't know. It was blitheringly silly, for,
who the devil would be on the lookout for tracks?
A thousand to one the body would not be found until
the estate foresters cut the bracken in November; and
by then—
Sweat broke out on Challoner's forehead, and he was
not sorry the sun stood high behind the pines, throwing
slanting shafts of light between their dark stems
across the rain-swamped garden, where the blackbirds
and thrushes patroled, worm-hunting, on the turf.
By that time, whatever was left would be in no condition
to tell tales. "Painful discovery in the Baughurst
Park Woods"—he could see the headlines in the local
papers—"Mysterious death"—"No clue to the identity
of the remains"—None, thank the Lord, none, none!
But for a couple of francs and a few English coppers the
boy's pockets were empty. Challoner, praise to God! had
mustered sufficient spunk to ascertain that.
All the same—and here callousness failed him a
little—his and Margaret's honeymoon should be a long
one, long enough to insure their being far away from
Stourmouth when the foresters cut the bracken in
November. Distance, travel, new scenes and new interests,
are said to draw the sting of remembrance. And it was
best, immeasurably best, not only for himself, but
indirectly for Margaret also, that remembrance should be
blunted, that he should—if he only could—forget.
For, after all—his spirits in the honest sunshine
reviving yet further—what proof had he the miserable
drink and vice corrupted wastrel had spoken the truth?
Wasn't it much more probable Haig's story was the
right one, and that this was some low, blackmailing
scoundrel trading upon scraps of hearsay information
he'd happened to pick up? A lying, misbegotten whelp,
in short, of whom society at large was extremely well
rid—really, to expend sentiment upon the summary
removal of such refuse came near being maudlin. As to
any fancied resemblance he bore to Joanna Smyrthwaite,
one couldn't attach any serious importance to
that. In the ghostly twilight it was impossible to see
distinctly. And, after the uncommonly nasty upset of
the morning and the bullying he'd been obliged to
give that old grannie, Norbiton, before the latter would
consent to ignore the empty tabloid bottle, and certify
the cause of death simply as syncope, it was hardly
surprising if he'd got poor Joanna's personal appearance a
little upon his brain. No—it is an awful misfortune, no
doubt, to be, however accidentally, the means of taking
a fellow-creature's life; but, looking at the whole
occurrence coolly, he—Challoner—came to the comforting
conclusion that he was hardly more to blame, more
responsible, than he would be if some reckless fool had
blundered across the road under the nose of his motor
and got run down.
Whereupon, the sun having now cleared the crests of
the pines and it being imperative not to give the servants
any handle for gossip, Challoner undressed and went to
bed.
He succeeded in advancing the date of the wedding;
but during the five weeks which elapsed before it took
place his moods caused some perplexity and no small
discomfort to his poorer clients, junior partners, and
clerks. At moments he indulged in boisterous mirth;
but for the most part was abominably bad-tempered,
irritable, and morose.
Colonel Haig, however, noted unexpected signs of
grace in him, concerning which he spoke to Mr. Woodford
one day at the Club.
"Challoner's coming more into line," he said; "he is
less noisy and self-assertive—very much less so. A good
deal of the improvement in his manner is due to me, I
flatter myself. I have been at the trouble of giving him
some very strong hints. If you propose to associate
with gentlemen you must learn to behave like a gentleman.
His election to the Club vexed me at the time.
Too much country-attorney sharp practice in the methods
he employed, I thought. So I am relieved, greatly
relieved, he has taken my friendly admonitions to heart.
It would have annoyed me extremely if his membership
had lowered the social tone of the Club. Too, it's
pleasanter for me personally, as I am bound, I suppose, to see
a good deal of him in the future, on my cousin, Margaret
Smyrthwaite's, account."
When alone with his fiancée during this period of
waiting Challoner's attitude alternated between anxious,
almost servile, humility and extravagant making of love.
Margaret, however, being a young woman of limited
imagination, put down both humility and "demonstrations"
to the potent effect of her own charms, thus
remaining altogether sensible, self-complacent, outwardly
composed, inwardly excited, and, in fine, very well
content. While unknown to her, unknown, indeed, to
all save the man who so slavishly obeyed and fiercely
caressed her, the unsightly Thing, which had once been
her playmate and brother, lay out, below the ever-talking
trees, among the heath, and sedge-grass, and
bracken, the tragedy and unspeakable disgrace of its
decomposition not hidden by so much as a pauper's
deal coffin-lid.
In consequence of the bad weather every one
returned to Paris early that autumn. Anastasia
Beauchamp's first reception—the fourth Thursday in
September—proved a crowded and animated function.
Each guest expressed rapture at meeting every other
guest, and at being back, yes, once again veritably
established in our dear, good, brave, inexhaustibly
interesting, intelligent and entertaining Paris! How
they—the speakers—ever mustered sufficient fortitude
to go away, still more to stay away, they could really
now form no conception. But it was finished, thank
Heaven! the mortally tedious exile; and they were
restored to the humanities, the arts, the sciences, in
short, to civilization, of which last dear Mademoiselle
Beauchamp's hospitality represented so integral and
so wholly charming a part. This and much more to this
effect. The French mind and French diction rarely
fumble; but arrive, with graceful adroitness, squarely
on the spot. Lightness of touch and finish of phrase
effectually safeguarded these raptures against any
suggestion of insincerity or absurdity. They were
diverting, captivating, as were the retailers of them.
And Anastasia listened, retorted, sympathized, capped a
climax with further witty extravagance, heartily pleased
and amused.
Nevertheless, to her, this yearly rentrée was not
without an element of pathos. In the matter of reminiscence
and retrospect Miss Beauchamp was the least self-indulgent
of women; her tendency to depress her juniors
by exaltation of the past at expense of the present being
of the smallest. To hours of solitary communing in her
hidden garden she restricted all that. Still this joyous
homing, when the members of her acquaintance taking
up their residence once again in Paris blossomed into
fullness of intellectual and social activity, left her a little
wistful, a little sad. Recognition of the perpetual
shifting of the human scene, of the instability of human
purpose, oppressed her. How few of those who greeted
her to-day with such affectionate empressement were
precisely the same in thought, circumstance or character
as when they bade her farewell at the end of May! She
could not but note changes. Those changes might be
slight, infinitesimal, but they existed. Not only do
things, as a whole, march on; but the individual marches
on also—marches on, too often, out completeness of
sympathy, completeness of comprehension, or, through
the ceaselessly centrifugal, scattering action of the social
machine, marches on actually out of hearing and out of
sight! And this thinning of the ranks, these changes in
those who remained, did cause her sorrow. She could
not bring herself to acquiesce in and accept them with
entire philosophy.
Arrayed in a dress of clove carnation satin veiled with
black ninon de soie, Miss Beauchamp stood near the door
opening from the first of the suite of reception-rooms—in
which tea had been served—on to the entrance hall.
She had taken up her position there when bidding her
guests adieu. In the second room two persons were
talking, Lewis Byewater's slow, detached, slightly nasal
accents making themselves clearly audible.
"Lenty Stacpole feels Madame Vernois is just the
loveliest mature French feminine type he has yet
encountered. He would be gratified to work up those
thumbnail sketches of her he made at Ste. Marie into
a finished portrait for exhibition with his other work in
New York this winter—"
With an unconscious, but very expressive, little gesture
of reprobation Anastasia moved across to the embrasure
of the near window, pleasant from the fresh, pungent
scent of a bank of white and lemon-colored chrysanthemums.
She looked up into the limpid clarity of the
twilight sky seen above the house-roofs on the opposite
side of the quiet street.
... Yes, the perpetual shifting of the human scene,
the instability of human purpose. And, as concrete
example of all that, a portrait of gentle, shrinking, timid,
pre-eminently old-world Madame Vernois on exhibition
in New York! The shouting incongruity of the proposition!
Would her daughter, la belle Gabrielle, entertain
it? And there, as Anastasia confessed to herself, she
ran up against the provoking cause of her quarrel with
existing conditions and tendencies. For, of the two
living persons whom she had recently come to hold
dearest, wasn't the one changed and the other absent?
Since that pleasant afternoon at Ste. Marie she had
neither sight nor word of Adrian Savage. The young
man appeared to have incontinently vanished. She
rang up his office in the rue Druot. The good Konski
replied over the telephone, "Monsieur was, alas! encore
en voyage." She rang up his home address in the rue de
l'Université, only to receive the same response;
supplemented by the information that Adrian had not notified
the date of his return, nor left orders as to the forwarding
of his letters. What did this mean? She became
anxious.
"Lenty has worried quite a wearing amount," Byewater
was saying, "whether it would be suitable he
should ask you to let him work up a portrait. I tell you,
Madame St. Leger, Lenty's silver-point is just a dream.
Do not go thinking it is because I am his friend I judge
it so. Mr. Dax positively enthused when he saw some
samples last fall; and Lenty has broken his own record
since then—"
Anastasia, still consulting the calm evening sky,
began to play a quite other than calm little fantasia
with the fingers of one hand upon the window-pane.
For why, in the name of diplomacy, of logic, of Eros
himself, had Adrian Savage elected to vanish at this
moment of all conceivable moments? The goal of his
ambitions was in sight—hadn't she told him as much at
Ste. Marie? Eros awaiting, as she believed, to crown him
victor in the long, faithful fight. And then that he, the
dear, exasperating young idiot, should gallop off thus,
the Lord only knew whither, instead of claiming the
enchanting fruit of his victory! Really, it was too
wildly irritating. For la belle Gabrielle wasn't pleased—not
a bit of it. She resented his absence at this particular
juncture, as any woman of spirit not unreasonably
must. Only too probably she would make him pay for
his apparent slight of her. And to what extent would
she make him pay? Faster and faster grew the time of
the fantasia upon the window-pane, for this question
greatly disturbed Anastasia.
For if Adrian must be cited as an example of the
absent, la belle Gabrielle must be cited as among the
changed. Miss Beauchamp, who watched her with
affectionate solicitude, perceived something was a little
bit wrong with her. She was not quite contented, not
quite happy. Her manner had lost its delightful repose,
her beauty, though great, its high serenity. Her wit
had a sharp edge to it. She avoided occasions of
intimacy. To-day she had helped Anastasia receive; and
the latter remarked that, during the whole course of the
afternoon, men had gathered about her and that she
flirted—gracefully—yet undeniably—with each and all
in turn. Since her return to Paris she had discarded
the last outward signs of mourning. The smoke-gray
walking-suit she wore to-day was lavishly embroidered
in faint pastel shades of mauve, turquoise, and shell-pink,
the pattern outlined here and there in silver thread,
which glinted slightly as she moved. The same delicate
tones tipped the panache of smoke-gray ostrich plumes
set at the side of her large black hat. In this donning of
charming colors Anastasia read the signing of some
private declaration of independence, some assertion,
not only of her youth and youth's acknowledged privilege
of joyous costume, but of intention to make capital out
of the admiration her youth and beauty excited after
the manner of other fair mondaines.
Clearly Madame St. Leger had arrived at a definite
and momentous parting of the ways. Her mourning,
all which it implied and which went along with it, was a
thing of the past. Her nature was too rich—let it be
added, too normal and wholesome—for the senses not to
play their part in the shaping of her destiny. She had
coquetted with Feminism, it is true; but such appeals
and opportunities as Feminism has to offer the senses are
not of an order wholesome natures can accept. To
Gabrielle those appeals and opportunities were, briefly,
loathsome; while, in her existing attitude, an exclusively
intellectual fanaticism—such as alone can render
advanced Feminism morally innocuous—no longer could
control or satisfy her. Against it her ironic and critical
humor rebelled, making sport of it. It followed, therefore,
as Anastasia saw, that la belle Gabrielle would
inevitably seek satisfaction, scope for her young energies,
for her unimpaired joy of living, elsewhere. And this
signaled possible danger. For, just now, being piqued,
as Anastasia believed, and pushed by wounded pride, she
might commit a folly. She might marry the wrong man,
marry for position merely, or for money. Plenty of
aspirants, judging by this afternoon, needed but little
encouragement to declare themselves. She had borne
the trials of one loveless marriage bravely, without
faintest breath of scandal or hint of disaster.
Throughout she had been admirable, both in taste and in
conduct. But what about a second loveless marriage,
made now in the full bloom of her womanhood?
Miss Beauchamp's fingers positively drummed upon
the window. For she had come to love them both so
closely, love them foolishly, even weakly,
much—perhaps—this very attractive young couple, of whom the
one, just now, was absent, the other changed! Beyond
measure would it grieve her if the consummation of their
romance should be frustrated or should come about
other than quite honest and noble lines. Why, oh! why,
in Heaven's name, did Adrian Savage absent himself?
Why, at this eminently psychologic moment, was he
not here? Anastasia could have wept.
Then, becoming aware of footsteps, and some presence
entering from the hall behind her, she turned round
hastily to find herself confronted by Adrian himself.
"Enfin!" she cried, enthusiastically. "What an
inexpressible relief to see you, my dear Savage! You
discover me in the very act of exhaling my doubtfully
pious soul in prayers for your speedy return. You are
late, in some respects perhaps dangerously late; but
'better late than never'—immeasurably better in this
connection. Only, pardon me, where on earth have you
been?"
The young man held her hand affectionately.
"In a land which possesses no frontiers, alas!" he said;
"a land which bears no relation to geography."
"Hum! Hum!" Anastasia responded, just a trifle
impatiently, shaking her head. "And in addition to
its other peculiarities is this famous country devoid of a
postal system, may I ask?"
"Practically, yes," Adrian answered. "Unless one is
prepared to make oneself a really unpardonable bore.
Some people call it the Land of Regrets, dear friend,
others call it Purgatory. The two names are synonymous
for most of us, I imagine. I have spent several
weeks there, and the atmosphere of the accursed place
still so clings to me that, although I needed immensely
to see you, I shrank from coming here to-day until, as I
supposed, all your other guests would have gone."
Then Anastasia, looking at him, perceived that this
delightful young man—her great fondness for whom she
did not attempt to disguise or deny—must also be added
to the number of the homing Parisians who had suffered
change since she saw them last.
To begin with, he was in mourning of the correct
French order, which, in man's attire only in a degree less
than in woman's, prescribes uncompromising severity of
black. But the change in him, as she quickly
apprehended, went deeper than such merely outward
acknowledgment of mournful occurrence. Some profound note
had been struck since she saw him at Ste. Marie of the
gleaming sands and alluring horizons, revealing tremendous
and vital issues to him; and, in view of those same
issues, revealing him to himself. From the effect of this
revelation his whole being was still vibrant. Anastasia's
heart went out to him in large and generous sympathy;
but she abstained from question or comment. The
matter, whatever it might be, was grave, not to be taken
lightly or played with. If he intended to give her his
confidence, he would find an opportunity for doing so
himself. Men, as she reflected, in their dealings with
women are made that way. Express no desire to learn
what troubles them, and they hasten to tell you. Show,
however discreetly, your anxiety to hear, and they roll
like hedgehogs, prickles outward, at once! So she
merely said, smiling at him:
"I am afraid you should have waited even longer, my
dear Savage, if your object was to avoid all my guests.
Two, in any case, still linger. Listen—we cannot hope
for solitude à deux just yet."
For once more Byewater's slow, penetrating accents
made themselves audible.
"If you feel not to be able to entertain Lenty
Stacpole's proposal, Madame St. Leger, I would not have
you hesitate to tell me. I believe I catch on to your
objection, though in America our ladies do not have such
strong prejudices against publicity. I will explain to
Lenty the way you feel. I would not wish to put you to
any worry of refusing his proposal yourself."
"Eh! Par exemple! And pray what next?" Adrian
said, under his breath, with raised eyebrows, looking his
hostess inquiringly in the face.
"Ste. Marie offered only too many fatally magical
quarters of an hour. They are both very hopelessly far
gone, the two poor innocents!"
"Both? But it is preposterous, incredible! Dearest
friend, you do not say to me both—not both?" Adrian
cried, in a rising scale of heated protest.
To which Anastasia, hailing these symptoms of militant
jealousy as altogether healthy, replied genially,
taking his arm:
"If you doubt my word, come and judge for yourself."
Lewis Byewater, his hands clasped behind him, leaned
his limp height against one of the few wall-spaces
unincrusted with pictures, mirrors, china and other liberal
confusion of ornament. Madame St. Leger stood near
him, smoothing out the wrinkles in the wrists of her long
gloves. To Adrian, as he entered the room, her charming
person presented itself in profile. He perceived, and
this gave him a curious turn in the blood, half of subtle
alarm, half of high promise, that she once more wore
colors.
Anastasia Beauchamp felt his arm tremble.
"Yes," she murmured, "a certain enchanting woman
puts on her armor and takes the field again. Believe
me, it is time, high time, you came back!"
"You are so very good to try to spare me the pain of
making Mr. Stacpole a refusal," Gabrielle was saying
sweetly to the young American. "But you do always
show yourself so very amiable, so thoughtful I think
your countrymen are of the most—how do you say?—the
most unselfish of any—"
Turning her head—"Ah!" she exclaimed, quite sharply,
living red leaping into the round of her cheeks and
living light into her eyes—"it is you, Mr. Savage?"
But even while the answering light leaped into Adrian's
eyes, very effectually for the moment dissipating their
melancholy, her expression hardened, becoming mocking
and ironic.
"You have the pleasure to know my kind friend,
M. Byewater?" she asked, with a graceful wave of the hand
toward that excellent youth, who had ceased to lounge
against the wall and stood rather anxiously upright, the
blankness of unexpected discomfiture upon his ingenuous
countenance.
"Incontestably I have the pleasure of knowing
M. Byewater," Adrian replied. "I have also had the
pleasure of reading, and further, of publishing, two of his a
little—yes, I fear, perhaps just a little—lengthy articles."
"I did condense all I knew," Byewater put in ruefully,
addressing his hostess. "But I presume I was
over-weighted by the amount of my material."
"Quite so; and the whole secret both of style and of
holding your reader's attention lies in selection, in the
intuitive knowledge of what to leave out," Adrian
declared, his eyes fixed with positively ferocious jealousy
upon la belle Gabrielle's partially averted face.
That poor, inoffensive Byewater should receive this
public roasting was flagrantly unjust, Anastasia felt,
still she abstained from intervention. The silence which
followed was critical. She refused to break it. The
responsibility of doing so appeared to her too great.
One or other of the two principal actors in the little scene
must undertake that. She really couldn't. At last,
coldly, unwilling, as though forced against her inclination
to speak, Madame St. Leger, turning to Adrian Savage,
said:
"It is long since we have any news of him. How is
M. Dax?"
Adrian shrugged his shoulders.
"I have not heard, chère Madame," he replied.
Whereupon Miss Beauchamp, satisfied that, whether
for good or ill, relations were safely established
between this altogether dear and not a little perverse
young couple, called cheerfully to the American
youth.
"Come here, come here, Mr. Byewater. I have hardly
had one word with you all this afternoon, and there is
something I greatly wish to ask you. What is this
that I hear about our good, clever Mr. Stacpole's leaving
for New York?"
"It is so, Miss Beauchamp. Lenty is fairly through
with the work for his winter exhibition, and he looks to
start the first of the month."
"But I do not comprehend how it is you do not bring
any news of M. Dax. Have you not then been with him
all the time since we have last seen you?"
"I have been abroad," Adrian replied. "My cousin,
of whom you may remember to have heard me speak—Joanna
Smyrthwaite—"
He hesitated, and his companion, though stoutly
resolved against all yielding and pity in his direction,
could not but note the melancholy and extreme pallor of
his handsome face.
"But certainly I remember," she returned rather hastily.
"Is she ill, then, poor lady, one of those pensive
abstractions whom it has been your interesting mission
to materialize and rejuvenate?"
"She is no longer ill," he answered. "She is dead."
"Ah! quel malheur inattendu! Truly that is most
sad," Gabrielle said in accents of concern. Then for a
moment she looked at Adrian with a very singular
expression. "I offer you my sympathy, my condolences,
Mr. Savage, upon this unhappy event."
And, turning aside, she began to move toward the
doorway of the outer room, upon the threshold of which
her hostess stood talking to Byewater.
But Adrian arrested her impetuously.
"Stay, Madame!" he cried, joining his hands as in
supplication. "Stay, I implore you, and permit me a few
minutes' conversation. By this you will confer the
greatest benefit upon me; for so, and so only, can
misunderstandings and misconstructions be avoided."
Thus admonished, Gabrielle paused. Her aspect and
bearing were reserved, as those of one who yields in
obedience to good manners rather than to personal
inclination. But Adrian, nothing daunted, followed up
his advantage.
"I came here to-day, chère Madame," he said, "as
soon as possible after my return. My idea was to
consult our friend Miss Beauchamp, to ask her advice and
enlist her assistance. I feared my conduct might have
appeared erratic, inexplicable. I proposed begging her
to act as my ambassadress, asking her to recount to you
certain things which have taken place since we parted at
Ste. Marie—things very grievous, in a way unexampled
and unnatural. But as I have the good fortune to find
you here, I entreat you to wait and hear me while I
acquaint you with those occurrences myself. You will
remain, yes? Let us go over there then, out of earshot
of the insupportably recurrent Mr. Byewater. I need
to speak to you alone, chère Madame, without frivolous
interruptions. And Mr. Byewater is forever at hand.
He annoys me. He is so very far from decorative. He
reminds me of a fish—of an underdone filet de sole."
Madame St. Leger's reserve gave slightly.
"Unhappy Mr. Byewater!" she murmured.
"Yes, indeed unhappy, since you too observe the
likeness," Adrian pursued, darting positively envenomed
glances in the direction of the doorway. "Yet is it not
unpardonable in any man to resemble the insufficiently
fried section of a flat fish? You recognize it as
unpardonable? Sit down here then, trés chère Madame, at the
farthest distance possible from that lanky poisson
d'Amérique. Ah! I am grateful to you," he added, with
very convincing earnestness. "For in listening you will
help to dissipate the blackness of regret which engulfs
me. You will hear and you will judge; yes, it is for you,
for you only and supremely to do that—to judge."
"I fear you will be no end fatigued, Miss Beauchamp,
standing all this long time talking," the excellent, and,
fortunately, quite unconscious Byewater was meanwhile
saying. "I believe I ought to go right now. I had
promised myself I would escort Madame St. Leger home
to the Quai Malaquais. But I don't believe I stand to
gain anything by waiting. Recent developments hardly
favor the supposition that promise is likely to condense
into fact."
He nodded his head, indicating the couple ensconced
at the opposite end of the room in two pillowed,
cane-seated, cane-backed gilt chairs of pseudo-classic pattern.
The wall immediately behind them carried a broad, tall
panel of looking-glass, the border of which blossomed on
either side at about half its height into a cluster of
shaded electric lamps. The mellow light from these
covered the perfectly finished figures of the young man
and woman, sitting there in such close proximity, and
created a bright circle about them, as Anastasia
Beauchamp noted, curiously isolating them from all
surrounding objects save their own graceful images repeated
in the great looking-glass. Her eyes dwelt upon them in
indulgent tenderness. Might they prosper! And therewith,
very genially, she turned her attention to the fish-like
Byewater once more.
But that same bright isolation and close proximity
worked strongly upon Gabrielle St. Leger. Her pulse
quickened. A subtle excitement took possession of her,
which, just because of her anxiety to ignore and conceal
it, obliged her to speak.
"Your cousin's death has evidently pained you. You
mourn her very truly, very much?"
"I cannot mourn enough."
"Indeed!" she said, dwelling upon the word with a
peculiar and slightly incredulous inflection.
"No," he repeated, "I cannot mourn enough. But to
make my state of mind intelligible to you—and it is
vitally important to me to do so—it is necessary you
should know what has happened. I cannot deny that I
am very sad."
He bowed himself together, setting his elbows on his
knees, pressing his hands against either side of his head.
"I have cause to be sad," he continued. "Involuntarily
I have contributed to the commission of a crime.
All the values are altered. I am become a stranger
to myself. Therefore I ask just this of you, to hear me
and to judge."
Surprised, impressed, alarmed even, Gabrielle St. Leger
gathered herself back gravely in her gilded, long-seated
pseudo-classic chair. The young man's genuine
and undisguised trouble combined with his actual
physical nearness to threaten her emotional equilibrium.
More eagerly than she cared to admit even to herself
had she looked forward to his return to Ste. Marie. Her
disappointment was proportionate, causing her anger.
The thought of the slight he had put upon her rankled.
She was, or rather wished to be, angry still. But just
now wishes and feeling ranged themselves in irritating
opposition and conflict. And during the silence following
his last strangely sorrowful and self-accusing words—he
so very near to her, dejected, abstracted, with bent
head—feeling gained, waxing masterful and intimate.
The personal charm of the man, his distinction of
appearance, his quick brain and eloquent speech, his
unimpeachable sincerity, his virility—refined, but in no degree
impaired by the artificial conditions of modern life—even
his boyish outbreak of jealousy toward Lewis Byewater,
stirred and agitated her, proving dangerous alike
to her senses and her heart. The culminating moment
of that terrible experience in René Dax's studio, when,
half beside herself from the horror of madness and death,
she had flung herself upon Adrian's breast, there finding
safety and restoration to all the dear joys of living,
presented itself to her memory with importunate
insistence. Was it conceivable that she craved to have
that moment repeat itself?
"Mr. Savage—you asked me to listen. I listen," she
said, and her voice shook.
In response the young man looked up at her, a rather
pitiful smile on his white face.
"Thank you—it was like this, then, chère Madame et
amie," he said. "Pushed by certain sinister fears,
without waiting to communicate with you or with any
one, I went straight to England on receiving from her
sister the announcement of my cousin's death. Letters
had passed between us during the previous fortnight
which rendered that announcement peculiarly and
acutely distressing to me."
Adrian bent his head again and sat staring blindly at
the floor.
"She had asked a pledge of me which neither in honor
nor in honesty could I give," he said, bitterly. "My
cousin was an admirable woman of business. I knew
that all her worldly affairs were scrupulously regulated.
I was in no way concerned in the distribution of her
property. I went to attend her funeral as a tribute of
regard and respect. I also went in the hope the sinister
fears of which I have spoken might prove unfounded.
I stayed in London, merely going down to Stourmouth
for a few hours. It was a wretched, wretched day, the
weather cold and wet."
He ceased speaking. For at this moment—whether
through some inward compelling, some mental necessity
to arrive at a just and comprehensive estimate of the
history of the last eight months, or whether through
some external influence emanating from the unseen
world of spirit and striving to dominate and coerce him,
he could neither then, nor afterward, determine—the
whole gloomy affaire Smyrthwaite, in its entirety, from
start to finish, presented itself to his mind. The slightly
bizarre yet charming room, its crowded furniture, subdued
gaiety of lights and flowers, even Gabrielle St. Leger's
well-beloved and ardently desired presence,
became strangely unreal to him and remote; while his
mind fixed itself in turn upon the autocratic, self-centered
husband and father warping the lives of wife and
children in obedience to cold-blooded theory; upon the
interruption of his own work, and prosecution of his fair
romance, by the tedious labors of the executorship; of
his long fruitless search amid the filth of the Paris
underworld for the wastrel degenerate, Bibby; of the squalid
finding, the still more squalid redisappearance of the
wretched fellow, and the disquieting uncertainty which
even now covered his whereabouts and his fate; and
lastly, with sharp inward shrinking, upon the commencement,
the progress, the extinction, of Joanna's infatuation
for himself.
And as sum total and result what remained? What
was there to show in the way of harvest for all that
strenuous and painful sowing? Only this—that now,
very strangely, he himself at once participant and spectator,
he saw in the mournful chill of the rain-swept September
day a dark, straggling, ill-assorted procession
passing up a trampled, puddle-pocketed road between
ranks of pale and vulgarly commonplace monuments set
against a backing of somber fir-trees and heather.
Margaret Smyrthwaite, composed, callous, and comely,
swathed in abundance of brand-new crape, walked beside
him immediately behind a coffin—the hard, polished lines
of which were unsoftened by pall or by flowers—carried
shoulder high. The big Yorkshireman, Andrew Merriman,
followed in company with Joseph Challoner—the
latter oddly subdued and nervous, obsequious even in
bearing and in speech. Next came fussy little Colonel
Haig, Doctor Norbiton, and the amazon Marion Chase.
A contingent of servants from the Tower House, headed
by Smallbridge, the butler; Johnson, the portly
coachman, and Mrs. Isherwood, brought up the rear.
Isherwood, alone of the company, wept, silently but
heart-brokenly, mourning not only a mistress who was to her
as a daughter, but the passing of an order of things
which had filled and molded her life and in the service
of which she had grown old. To Adrian the faithful
woman's tears supplied the one sincere and human note
in the otherwise cruelly barren and perfunctory
performance. And, to his seeing, her desolation found
sympathetic echo in the desolation of the autumn moorland,
of the bare coffin, and the gray curtain of drifting mist
blotting out the distance—the vast amphitheater of the
Baughurst Park woods, the streets and buildings of
Stourmouth, and all the noble freedom of the sea. The
hopelessness of that desolation clutched at him still,
penetrating him, even now and here, with conviction of
failure and futility, with doubt of any eternal and
reasoned direction and purpose in things human, and with
very searching doubt of himself. His fine and healthy
optimism—in other words, his faith in God's
goodness—suffered bitter eclipse.
"I would not be surprised if I concluded to take the
trip with Lenty the first of the month, Miss Beauchamp."
As he spoke Lewis Byewater's mild and honest eyes,
half humorously, half reproachfully, sought the delightful
young man and young woman sitting silent in their
gilded chairs.
"I am ever so grateful to you for all the splendid
times you have given me," he continued, rather
irrelevantly; "but I begin to have a notion it would prove
healthier for me to leave Paris this fall."
Again his eyes sought the silent couple enthroned
before the tall mirror.
"Yes," he said, "I feel pretty confident I will
accompany Lenty. Seems as though this gay city had turned
ever so lonesome and foreign to-night. Europe is
enervating for a continuance. I know others who have
found it affect them that way. There is too much
atmosphere over here. I have a notion my moral system
is in need of toning up; and I believe our bright American
climate might help me some if I took a spell of it."
Madame St. Leger threw back her head and loosened
the lace scarf about her rounded throat.
"Return, Mr. Savage. Again I remind you that I
wait to hear that which you ask to tell me, that I listen.
Return, lest I grow too impatient of waiting," she said.
Adrian straightened himself. His looked dazed,
absorbed. He passed his hands across his eyes and
forehead, as one who awakens from a feverish sleep.
"Ah! forgive me, chère Madame," he answered. "But
that is precisely what I need, what I desire—just
that—to return, to come back; and to come back by your
invitation, at your calling. I ask nothing better,
nothing else."
He spread out his hands, leaning sideways in his chair,
looking at her.
"Forgive me. I am very stupid, incoherent; but the
events of the last three weeks are still so vividly present
to me that they confuse and distract me. I cannot see
my way clearly. I find it difficult to tell you what is
necessary, just what I should. See, then, it had been the
habit of my cousin to keep a journal daily from early
childhood. The last volume of that journal she had,
I found, left as a legacy to me. Her sister gave it to me
after the funeral. I took it back with me to London.
The night was wet, and I was in no humor for amusement.
I remained indoors, in my room at the hotel.
The sinister fears which I entertained in connection with
my cousin's death had not been allayed by my visit to
Stourmouth. A certain mystery appeared to surround
the circumstances attending it. I perceived a great
unwillingness to answer my inquiries on the part of
those most nearly concerned. That night, after dinner,
I opened the packet containing the journal, unwillingly,
I own; I would rather have delayed. But I could not do
so. With the muffled roar of the ceaseless London
traffic in my ears I sat and read the journal from cover
to cover. Having once begun, I could not leave off.
I did not go to bed that night. In the morning early
I left London. I left England. I traveled. I hardly
know where I went, Madame. I wanted to escape. I
wanted to get away from every person I knew, whom I
had ever seen. Above all I wanted to get away from
myself; but I was obliged to take myself along with me.
And I found myself a dreadful companion. I hated
myself."
Madame St. Leger moved slightly in her gilded chair.
"My poor friend!" she murmured almost inaudibly.
"Yes, I hated myself," Adrian repeated. "That
journal is the most poignant, the most convincing human
document I have ever read. My cousin had the misfortune
to love a person who did not return her affection.
In the pages of her journal, with uncompromising
truthfulness, with appalling self-scrutiny, self-revelation and
unflinching courage, with, I may add, the amazing
abandon possible only to a rigidly virtuous woman, she
has recorded the successive phases of that love, from its
first unsuspected and almost unconscious inception to
the hour when by an act of will, so extraordinary as to be
little short of miraculous, she sent her soul out of her
body, across land and sea, in pursuit of the man whom
she loved and forced from his own lips the confession of
his indifference to her."
Again Madame St. Leger moved slightly.
"You tell me this soberly, Mr. Savage?" she asked.
"In good faith?"
Adrian looked fixedly at her. Her beautiful face, her
whole attitude, was tense with excitement.
"In absolute good faith, Madame," he replied. "I
have not only the detailed testimony of her journal, but
the perfectly independent and equally detailed testimony
of the person whom she loved. The two statements
agree in every particular."
"Still," Gabrielle cried, a sudden yearning in her eyes,
"still I cannot count her as altogether unfortunate,
your poor cousin! For it is not given to many—it is the
mark of a very strong, a very great nature, to be capable
of such love. And when she had obtained this man's
confession?"
"She decided to live no longer," Adrian replied
hoarsely. "She had no religion, no faith in Almighty
God or in the survival of human personality and
consciousness, no hope of a hereafter, to restrain her from
taking her own life. She made her preparations calmly
and silently, with the dignity of sincere and very
impressive stoicism. The concluding words of the terrible
book, in which she has dissected out all the passion and
agony of her heart, of her poor tortured body as well as
her poor tortured soul, are words of pity, of tenderness,
toward the man who found himself unable to return her
affection."
For a time both remained silent, while in the outer
room Miss Beauchamp bade a genial farewell to the
disconsolate Byewater.
"Yes, go, my dear young man, go," she said, "and
breathe the surprising air of your very surprising native
land. I shall miss you. But I understand the position,
and give you my blessing. Later you will return to
us—for Europe is full of illumination and of instruction.
You will return, and, be very sure, we shall all be
delighted to see you. Be sure, also, that you leave an
altogether pleasant and friendly reputation behind you."
"But, but," Gabrielle said, presently, with a certain
protest and hesitancy, "it pains, it angers me to think of
so great a waste. For it is no ordinary thing, the
bestowal by any woman of so magnificent a gift of love.
That a woman, young and rich, should die for love—and
now, at the present time, when our interest moves
quickly from person to person, when we console ourselves
easily with some new occupation, new friendship, when
our morals are perhaps a little—how do you say?—easy,
is it not particularly surprising, is it not, indeed, unique?
To reject such affection, is not that to throw away,
in a sense, a positive fortune? How could such
devotion fail to attract, fail to create a response? Why,
Monsieur, could not this man of whom you tell me
return your cousin's great love?"
Adrian Savage spread out his hands with a gesture
at once hopeless and singularly appealing.
"Because, Madame, because the man already loved
you," he said. "And, that being so, for him there could
be no possible room, no conceivable question, of any
other love."
Madame St. Leger remained absolutely motionless,
expressionless, for a moment; then she threw back her
head, closing her eyes. "Ah!" she sighed, sharply.
"Ah!"
And Adrian waited, watching her, a sudden keenness
in his face. For what, indeed, did it betoken, where did
it lead to, this praise and advocacy of Joanna
Smyrthwaite's tragic devotion, followed by that singularly
unrestrained and unconventional little outcry? The
said outcry struck right through him, giving him a queer
turn in the blood—carrying him back in sentiment,
moreover, to the horrible yet perfect experience in
René Dax's studio, when he had felt the whole weight
of Gabrielle's beloved body flung against him and the
clasp of her arms about his neck. He straightened
himself, took a deep breath, his nostrils dilated, his lips
parted. He emerged from the confusion and lethargy
which had oppressed him, quickened by that same
outcry into newness and fullness of life. To him all this
was as the drawing aside of some gloomy, jealously
impenetrable curtain—the curtain of desolate gray mist,
was it, blotting out the distance, the town, the great
woods, and the noble freedom of the sea, when he walked
in that ill-assorted funeral procession up the wet road
behind Joanna's coffin?—a drawing of it aside and letting
the glad and wholesome sunlight shine on him once
more. He no longer felt a stranger to himself. The
past—all which had happened, all which went to shape
his character and inspire his action, all which he had
desired and held infinitely dear before the affaire
Smyrthwaite imposed itself upon him—linked up with the
present, in sane and intelligible sequence of cause and
effect. Thus, chastened, it is true, a little older, sadder,
wiser, but fearless, ardent, purposeful as ever, did
Adrian the Magnificent come into his own again.
He drew nearer to her, laid his right arm somewhat
possessively upon the arm of Madame St. Leger's chair,
and spoke softly, yet with much of his former
impetuosity.
"See, chère Madame, see," he said; "do you perhaps
remember, this winter, in the week of the great snow,
when I came to tell you I was summoned to my cousins'
home in England? You were not quite, quite kind.
You mocked me a little, suggesting a solution of the
problems raised by my impending visit. The solution
you proposed was, as I ventured to explain to you,
impossible then. It remained impossible to the end, the
cruel end, and for the same reason."
His manner changed. His voice deepened.
"Yet, believe me, when by degrees, against my will,
against my respect for my cousin and sincere desire for
her happiness, the fact of her unfortunate partiality was
brought home to me, I tried with all my strength to
command my heart. Twice I faced the situation without
reserve, and tried to submit, to sacrifice myself,
rather than cause her humiliation and distress."
Adrian looked away across the crowded, pleasant
room, with its scent of autumn flowers, cedar, and
sandalwood, and its many shaded lights. His lips worked, but
at first no sound passed them.
"I could not do it," he said. "I could not. I loved
you too much."
He raised his hand from the arm of la belle Gabrielle's
chair, turning proudly upon her, as a man who on his trial
fiercely protests his own innocence.
"I had given her no cause for her disastrous delusion—before
God, Madame, I had not. And my passion, too,
has its authority, its unalienable rights. I could not,
I dared not, betray them. It may be that the happiness
to which I aspire will never be granted me. Very
well. I shall suffer, but I shall know how to
accommodate myself. But to cut myself off voluntarily
from all hope of that happiness by marriage with another
woman was like asking me to mutilate myself. I
refused. Could the situation repeat itself, I should again
refuse, although when I read her terrible journal and
learned the reason of my cousin's suicide I was
consumed by remorse, by grief and self-reproach."
Adrian paused.
"Now I have told you everything, Madame," he added,
quietly. "I leave myself in your hands. It is for you
to condemn or to acquit me, to judge whether I have
behaved as an honorable man, whether I have done
right."
After a silence, a pathetic bewilderment in her
mysterious eyes, Gabrielle St. Leger answered brokenly:
"I do not know. I do not know. I cannot presume
to judge. What you tell me is all so difficult, so
sad—only I may say, perhaps, that I am glad you did not
sacrifice yourself."
"You are glad? Then—" Adrian stammered, "then
you will marry me?"
"Eh! but," la belle Gabrielle cried, and her voice
shook, though whether with tears or with laughter she
herself knew not, "you go so quick, so very quick!"
"You are mistaken—pardon me. I do not go quick,
but slow, slow as the centuries, as æons, as innumerable
and cumulative eternities. Have I not served for you,
tres chère Madame, a good seven years?"
"So long as that?"
"Yes, as long as that. Ever since the day I first saw
you. You had but recently come to Paris. Much has
happened—for both of us—since that date. Yes, I can
still describe to you the gown you wore, the manner in
which your hair was dressed, can recall the subjects of
our conversation, can repeat the words which you said."
Madame St. Leger gathered herself back in her gilded
chair, her head bent. For a quite perceptible space of
time she remained absolutely still. The inclination of
her head and the shadow cast by the brim of her hat
concealed her face. Adrian's heart thumped in his ears.
His breath came short and thick. At last he could bear
the suspense no longer. He leaned forward again.
"Madame, Madame," he called softly, urgently,
"think of the seven years. Remember that I am young
and that I am on fire, since I love as the young love.
Do not prolong my trial. Give me my answer—yes or
no—now, here, at once."
Thus adjured, Madame St. Leger raised her head,
looked full at him with wide-open eyes, something
profound, exalted, in a way desperate, in her expression.
She shivered slightly, and holding out both her hands:
"I surrender," she said.
The young man took her extended hands in his, bent
down and kissed them reverently; then looked back at
her gravely, resolutely, though he was white to the lips.
"But not under compulsion, not out of pity?" he said.
"Now, even now, with the consummation of all my
hopes and desire within my grasp, I would rather you
sent me away than, than—that—"
La belle Gabrielle shook her head gently, smiling.
"No, no," she answered. "Not under compulsion,
not out of pity, mon ami; but because I find nature is too
strong for me. Because I find I too love, and find—since
you will have me lay bare my heart and tell you
everything—it is you, precisely and solely you, whom I
love."
And from the inner room—into which Anastasia
Beauchamp had passed unperceived by her two guests
during this, for them, momentous colloquy—came strains
of heroic music, good for the soul.
THE END