BOOK I MORNING — CHAPTER I — CHAPTER II — CHAPTER III — CHAPTER IV — CHAPTER V — CHAPTER VI — CHAPTER VII — CHAPTER VIII — CHAPTER IX — CHAPTER X — CHAPTER XI — CHAPTER XII — CHAPTER XIII — CHAPTER XIV
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I rise and raise my claspèd hands to Thee!
Henceforth, the darkness hath no part in me,
Thy sacrifice this day,—
Abiding firm, and with a freeman’s might
Stemming the waves of passion in the fight.
—John Henry Newman.
Where the Monk River makes its way through the
mountain wall in one of the northern counties of Vermont,
lies the small, white village of Haran. Although
isolated and remote from the world, unknown and unconsidered
beyond certain narrow limits, this village possessed,
forty years ago, a local importance as being the
county town, the seat also of a Young Ladies’ Seminary
of some reputation, and an Orthodox church which
boasted a line of ministers of exalted piety and scholarly
attainment.
The incumbent in the year 1869 was the Rev. Samuel
Mallison. His pastorate had now extended over twenty
years, and he was reverenced far beyond the bounds of
his parish for learning and godliness.
It was a June Saturday night in that year, and the
hour was late. In the low-roofed garret of the parsonage
of Haran the figure of a tall, thin girl with a candle in
her hand moved swiftly and softly to the head of a steep
flight of stairs, which gave access to the garret from the
floor below. Some one had called her name.
“Yes, father,” she returned, and a certain vibration
of restrained feeling was perceptible in her voice, “it
4was I. I am sorry I disturbed you. Were you
asleep?”
All was dark below, and no person could be seen, but
again came the man’s voice.
“What were you doing, Anna?” was the question.
“Only putting away—” here the girl faltered and
stopped speaking. The candle in her hand shook, and
threw a strange, wavering shadow of her shape upon the
long, rough timbers of the wall. The roof was so low
where she stood that of necessity her head was bent
sharply forward. The outline of her shoulders was
meagre and angular; her arms and body had neither the
grace of a girl nor the curves of a woman; they were
simply lean and long. There was something of loftiness,
and even of beauty, in the face, but the cheeks were
hollow, the lines all lacking in softness. The ensemble
was grave and strenuous for a girl of eighteen.
She began again.
“I was nailing up that box of books, you remember.
I thought now, you know, I ought to do it.”
Something like a groan seemed to float up from the
darkness below. There was no other reply for a moment,
and then the father’s voice said slowly:—
“To take back later such an action is a greater violation
of the moral nature than to avoid performing it.
If it has been given you as duty, it is well done, but be
very sure.”
A smile, brooding, and even sad, altered the girl’s
face as she reflected for a little.
“I am very sure,” she said softly, but without
hesitation.
“Then, good night. Sleep, now. Let to-morrow
take thought for the things of itself, Anna.”
5“Good night, father.” The little lingering of her
voice on the last word gave to it the force of a term of
endearment, which it would not have occurred to Anna
Mallison at that time to add.
A door closed below, presently, and the house was
still.
The garret extended over the entire house, and its
unlighted spaces seemed to stretch indefinitely on all
sides from the little circle of light shed by the one
candle. The place was wholly open, save that at the
front gable, below the highest point in the peak of
the roof, a partition of planed but unpainted boards
enclosed a small chamber. The narrow door of it stood
open.
As Anna approached this door she cast her glance to a
far, dim corner, where in stiff order a wooden box of moderate
size stood upon a chest. She crossed to the place,
passed her hand over the lid of this box, satisfied herself
that it was firmly and evenly fastened, and then gathered
up some nails and a hammer, which she put away
on the ledge formed by a square, projecting rafter. This
accomplished, she came back and entered the chamber,
which was sparely enough furnished, undressed, put out
her candle, and sat down in the open gable window.
Even if to-morrow were left to take thought for the
things of itself, there were many yesterdays which she
wished to meet to-night. And for that to-morrow,—she
was hardly ready to leave all thought of it yet, for
she regarded it as the most solemn and important crisis
in her eighteen years of life. On the Sabbath, which a
few hours would bring, she was to be received into the
village church of which her father was pastor, and this
event would signify that all her previous existence, the
6time past of her life, was a closed and finished chapter,
and that henceforth all things were to become new.
Life was to be furnished now with new pleasures, new
pains, new motives, new mental occupations. A somewhat
sterner and sadder life she fancied it, full of self-examination,
sacrifice, and high endeavour, for she felt
it must suffice her to have wrought her own will in the
past, “the will of the flesh,” as her father and the Apostle
Paul termed it; a phrase which had but a vague import
to her own understanding, and yet exerted a powerful
influence upon her conscience.
To her mind there was an intimate connection between
that now sealed box and “the will of the flesh.”
It was when she was fifteen years old that Anna had
discovered one day among the ranks of chests and trunks
which lined the outer stretches of the garret, this small box
of books, thickly covered with dust. At first she had been
greatly surprised, since books were the things her father
most earnestly desired and needed, his scanty collection
being quite insufficient for his use, and being helped out
by no village library. Every book in the house had
borne to Anna’s imagination a potent dignity and value,
for each one embodied a persistent need, and represented
an almost severe economy before its possession had been
achieved.
And here were nearly thirty respectably bound volumes
packed away for moth and dust alone to live upon—what
could it mean? Had they been forgotten? Anna
had devoured their titles with consuming wonder and
curiosity, and with the ardour of the instinctive book-lover.
Like Aurora Leigh, she had “found the secret
of a garret room.”
There was a volume of Ossian,—heroic, sounding
7words caught her eye as she turned the rough, yellow
leaves; Landor’s “Hellenics and Idylls”; a copy bound
in marred, brown leather of Pope’s translation of the
“Iliad,” published, she noted, in 1806, almost fifty years
before she was born; the poems of Byron, Shelley,
Keats, and Coleridge, and of the earlier American poets;
and a thin gilded volume of Blake’s “Songs of Innocence.”
Besides these were worn volumes of Plato, of Greek
and Latin poets, and German editions of Faust and
Nathan der Weise. At the bottom of the box Anna
found a faded commonplace book with her father’s
name inscribed on the first page, and the date 1840. It
contained translations of Greek poetry which she supposed
to have been made by her father, although of this
she was not sure. She did not read them, for she felt
that she had no right to explore anything so personal
without his permission. This scruple, however, did not
extend to the books which filled the box, although Anna
felt rather than understood that they had not been packed
away together thus by accident, or left by forgetfulness.
She perceived that they denoted some decisive experience
in her father’s inner life, that spiritual personality of the
man, which possessed to the young girl’s thought an
august and even mysterious sacredness.
Whatever these books had meant to him, and for whatever
reason they had been exiled from his meagre library,
they became to his daughter the most brilliant and alluring
feature of a somewhat colourless girlhood, the charm
of them enhanced by secrecy; for, with the reticence
characteristic of the family life, Anna never alluded to
her discovery. Neither did she ever remove these literary
remains from their seclusion in the garret; this
8would have seemed an act of violence, but around the
box which held them she formed a kind of enclosing
barricade of chests and old furniture. The little nook
thus formed she regarded as her place of refuge, of
private and unguessed delight. A candle at night, and
rays of light piercing the wide cracks under the eaves by
day, made reading easy to her clear young eyes, even in
the dust and dusk of the dim place. And so for two
years, through biting cold and searing heat, Anna fed her
mind and heart on the poetry which had ruled her
father’s generation, unknown and unsanctioned by any
one. Then one day came a strange event; she never
recalled it without a sense of unshed tears.
It was late one August afternoon, and, her day’s work
faithfully performed, Anna had gone up to her garret
room to make her simple toilet for the evening meal.
There were a few moments to spare, and, as usual, she
hastened to her nook, and was soon deep in Prometheus,
for Shelley just then controlled her imagination. Her
father came into the garret behind her, a very unwonted
thing, and Anna heard the sharp, scraping sound as he
drew out from the recesses where it had stood for years,
a small, brown, hair-covered trunk, studded with brass
nails, forming the initials S. D. M. It had been his own
during his college days, and had seen but little service
since. One of Anna’s brothers was to start for college
in a day or two, and the old trunk was to serve a second
generation in its quest for learning.
Startled by the unusual noise, Anna rose in her place,
and, seeing her father, spoke to him, whereupon he
crossed the garret to where she stood; a small, thin man,
bent a little, with a pale brown skin, prominent eyes,
and a dome-shaped head, the hair thin on the crown
9even to baldness, but soft and silken and long enough
behind the ears to show its tendency to curl.
“What have you there, Anna?” Samuel Mallison
had asked, peering with short-sighted, searching eyes
between the bars of a battered crib which Anna had
used as a part of her wall of partition.
“Poetry, father,” she had replied, handing him the
book with eager, innocent enthusiasm; “oh, it is very
beautiful! I love it so.”
Her father, looking at the book, flushed strangely,
and a sudden, indescribable change passed over his face.
Pushing aside the rubbish which separated him from
Anna, he was immediately at her side, and in silence had
bent over the box. He had drawn it nearer the light,
and seemed looking on the side for some sign or inscription.
There was a piercing eagerness in his eyes.
Then Anna had noticed what had escaped her hitherto,
the initials, S. D. M., followed by the reference, Matthew
v. 29, and the date, 1848, written in ink on the
lower corner, dim with dust stains and faded with the
processes of time.
Still her father had not spoken, but, sitting down on a
chest, he had bent over the box, and had drawn from it
one after the other the buried books, with a hand as
gentle as if he were touching the tokens of a dead love.
Anna had stood aside, silent and abashed, a strange
tightening sensation in her throat. Her father seemed
to have forgotten her. At last he had reached the old
commonplace book underneath all. The flush on his
face had deepened, and Anna had thought there were
tears in his eyes as he glanced rapidly over its yellowed
pages, with the verses in fine, stiff writing and faded ink.
Then he had closed the book with a long sigh, had laid
10it carefully back in its place, and rising, had walked up
and down in the low garret for many minutes in some
evident agitation.
A sense of guilt and apprehension had fallen upon
Anna in her perplexity, but when, in the end, he had
come and stood beside her, there was a great gentleness
on his face.
“And so you love those books, my child?” he had
asked her briefly.
“Yes, father.”
“I understand. I loved them, but I gave them up—twenty
years ago, almost. They became a snare.” He
had been, then, silent a moment, while a peculiar conflict
of thought was reflected in his face. “Yes,” he continued,
as if convinced of something called in doubt,
“they became a snare—to me—but for you I cannot
decide. It may not be for you to drink of my cup.
Who knows?” and with that he had turned and left her,
and left the garret, the trunk forgotten; and Anna had
laid the books back, soberly and with a great heartache,
almost as if she were laying dust dear and sacred in its
coffin.
The matter had never been alluded to again between
the father and daughter, but Anna knew that she was
free to read, and so read on. And still her unalloyed
happiness in her hidden treasure was gone. A question,
a suspicion, a disturbing doubt, was now attached to it.
It was not wrong to read this poetry, but plainly there
was a more excellent way, a higher ground which her
father had reached, and which, with her inborn passion
for perfection, she, too, must some day attain. Slowly
and silently this conviction matured within her.
And so to-night, on the eve of her day of supreme
11consecration, Anna, in her turn, had buried out of her
sight, as her father had before her, the poetry into which
she had been pouring her young awakening life, silently
and secretly, but with a fervour which the reader of many
books can never know. They had spoken to her in
mighty voices, these great spirits, so free, joyous, and
mysterious in their power; but they were not the voice
of God, and therefore she must listen to them no more.
This had been a tree of life to her, but its fruit was forbidden.
The axe must thenceforth be laid unflinchingly
at the root of the tree. Such was the initial impulse,
single, stern, and absolute, of Anna’s awakening religious
nature.
Theologians in the sixties did not talk of the immanence
of God.
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Children of men! the unseen Power whose eye
Forever doth accompany mankind,
Hath looked on no religion scornfully
That man did ever find.
Which has not taught weak wills how much they can?
Which has not fall’n on the dry heart like rain?
Which has not cried to sunk, self-weary man:
Thou must be born again!
—Matthew Arnold.
Anna Mallison’s working theory of the human family
in its moral and religious relations (and she recognized
no other as of importance) was as destitute of shading
as a carpenter’s house plan. Indeed, her hypothesis unconsciously
bore a certain pictorial resemblance to the
ground plan of a colonial house—a hall running through
the middle with two rooms on each side! There was,
straight through the centre of her moral universe, a wide,
divisive, neutral passage in which dwelt uneasily all people
who had not been regenerated, but who had not rejected
salvation formally and forever. Here were such
heathen and young children, and such thoughtless and
unhardened impenitent as might yet listen to the divine
call. At the right of this central hall, following Anna’s
scheme of the race, were two wide rooms: the first bright
with a subdued and varied light; the second, opening
beyond the first, overflowing with undimmed and celestial
radiance. The first was the Church, the place of
saints on earth, the second was heaven, easily reached
13from the first. But the entrance to the first room from
the central space was obscure, difficult, and mysterious,
and few were they who found it.
At the left of the great hall were likewise two vast
connecting chambers. A wide door stood ever open
into the first, through which a throng continually passed.
Here were dimness and dread, lighted only by false and
baleful gleams; and in the room beyond, the blackness
of darkness, and that forever.
This first room was the abode of those who deliberately
chose the world and turned away from God, whose
fitting end was in the awful gloom of that place of torment
and wailing beyond.
Above the right-hand division, high and lifted up,
dwelt in unthinkable glory the God of her fathers, holy,
but to her subconscious sense, ineffective, else why
were earthquakes, murders, prisons, insanities? and why,
indeed, those populous chambers on the left?
Over them presided a rapid, hurtling Spirit, always
engaged in her imagination in falling like lightning from
heaven. He was Miltonic necessarily, but also much
like one of Ossian’s heroes, and, on the whole, a more
imposing force than the Creator whose power he seemed
so successfully to have usurped.
In fine, Anna believed in two gods, an infinite spirit
of good, and an infinite spirit of evil, although she would
have called herself strictly monotheistic.
The neutral space between the realms of the Good
and Evil was the battleground of these two mighty spirits.
Here prophets, apostles, and preachers were calling
loudly and untiringly upon all men to repent, and to
find the entrance to the company of the redeemed.
From time to time some swift and valorous spirit of
14man or angel would even make excursion into the dim
outer room on the left, and bring thence a scorched and
spotted soul, saved, but so as by fire. But such events
were rare and not to be presumed upon or expected.
It was all perfectly clear to Anna, the classification
and grouping precise, exact, and satisfactory. Black
was very black; and white, very white. She had herself
until very recently belonged in the neutral hall, but she
now believed herself to be “experiencing religion,” a
fine old phrase, which was in effect to be pressing successfully
through that obscure opening which led into
the outer court of heaven.
But just here there was a weakness in the system.
Theologians and preachers like her father boldly declared
the contrary, and asserted that the processes of entering
the kingdom of heaven were as marked and unmistakable
as the great general divisions of saints and sinners.
The conversion of Saul of Tarsus was always depicted
as norm and type. To be sure, all the processes were
not in each case marked by equal distinctness, but the
logical order was the same. In the first stage of the
progress the sinner was said to be “under conviction”
or “experiencing a sense of sin”; and the more bitter
and overwhelming was this first phase, the better was
the diagnosis from the professional point of view. At
this point the penitent was to realize that, whatever his
former life had been, even if a life of prayer and unselfish
devotion, it had been wholly displeasing to God, and
that, as tending to self-righteousness, such a life was
peculiarly dangerous. By nature, there could not be in
the human character any real moral excellence, or what
was more technically known as “evangelical virtue.”
All this Samuel Mallison had recently set forth in a
15series of sermons on “Human Depravity; its Degree,
its Extent, its Derivation, and its Punishment,” which
had been considered of extraordinary value and merit.
But it was just here that his daughter, for all the
logic and learning to which she was privileged to listen,
stumbled and stood still. For weeks her spiritual development
appeared to be arrested. She was silent,
uncommunicative, and disappointing to all the older
members and office-bearers in her father’s church.
“What is the matter with Anna?” was the frequent
question put to Mrs. Mallison in the parish. “Why
don’t she come out?”
“Oh, she is under conviction all the time,” would be
the reply, with a somewhat decided shake of the head.
“We let her alone pretty much, Mr. Mallison and I.
It isn’t best to say too much, you know, when anybody
has reached that point. We can see that conscience is
working with her.”
The questioner would depart with the belief that Anna’s
conviction was of an unusually profound and interesting
nature, like a disease with a complication; but if
they had asked Anna herself, she might have told them
that it was from the absence of this conviction, rather
than from its intensity, that she was suffering. She was
too honest to assume a virtue, or even a vice, if she had
it not, and seek it as she would, a poignant sense of sin
did not visit her. She had cast about her, and searched
her own heart and life in a distinct embarrassment at
finding so few clearly defined and indubitable sins of
which to plead guilty; she had even secretly reproached
her parents in her heart for having insisted upon an
almost faultless standard of daily living, since conformity
to their will seemed to be in itself a snare, and to
16place her at a distinct disadvantage now as compared
with the flagrant sinner. Why had they taught her to
pray, since she was now told that the prayers of the
unregenerate were displeasing to God?
She used to sit during the Sunday morning service
and look at the neighbours in their pews around her, at
their children and grandchildren, and at the members of
her own family, seeking to find a person whom she was
conscious of having wronged, or toward whom she cherished
a feeling of enmity or envy. The only result of
this species of self-examination had been to bring to her
remembrance a childish, half-forgotten grudge against a
girl with fair curls, Malvina Loveland by name, who had
once ridiculed her at school, for wearing one of Lucia’s
dresses made over. Anna drew this dim and fading fault
remorselessly up to the light, and formally and forever
forgave the unconscious “Mally.” But the longing for
a deep experience of the “exceeding sinfulness of sin”
remained unsatisfied. Like many another sincere and
seeking soul of that day, she yearned in vain to fill out
in its rigid precision of sequence that spiritual programme
which the theologians prescribed.
Her father gave her free access to the precious, if narrow,
resources of his library, and she read the Edwards,
both elder and younger, the elder Dwight, Bunyan, Baxter,
and the rest, in place of her dear pagans whose end
she now clearly foresaw. She read of the “depraved
moral conduct of every infant who lives so long as to
be capable of moral action”; she read that “the heart
of Man, after all abatements are made for certain innocent
and amiable characteristics, is set to do evil in a
most affecting and dreadful manner”; and that “the
darling and customary pleasures of men furnish an
17advantageous proof of the extreme depravity of our
nature.”
“Was I a very wicked little child?” she asked her
mother one day.
“Wicked!” cried her mother, artlessly, resenting
the thought. “You were like a little angel, Benigna,
even from the very first. So was it that I gave you my
sainted mother’s name. Even your looks were all love;
all saw it, and strangers too. You a bad child, indeed
who never gave your mother a harsh word or a heartache
since you were born!”
Anna Benigna, for so her mother called her, bent and
kissed her mother, a rare caress in that family.
“I am glad I pleased you,” she whispered. There
were tears in her eyes, and as she walked without further
word from the room, her mother perceived the significance
of question and reply, and pondered long.
Then suddenly, as ice breaks up in the spring, and
the freshet bears down everything before it, a moment
of crisis and perception came, one of those moments
which, albeit varying with each human experience,
remains in each supreme.
Under all her outward conformity to law and love,
Anna realized now that there had lain for years a deep,
half-conscious resentment toward the Creator, a cold dislike
of God. How could he look upon her with approval
while such a disposition remained in her heart? She
had loved the human; she had not loved the divine.
A sense of the absolute and eternal Good from which
she was alienated, to which she was antagonistic, smote
her with force. She now seemed to herself in the presence
of God as a speck of dust against a dazzling
mountain of snow—incalculably small, hatefully impure.
18A passion of contrition and surrender mastered
her; vague regenerating fires tried her soul; and then
came an exhaustion of spirit, as of a child whom its
Father has chastened, and who is reconciled and at
peace. This succession of emotions she was able to
recall distinctly as long as she lived.
This had been a month ago. Anna had recounted
these spiritual exercises to her father, and he had told her
that they denoted conversion, and advised her presenting
herself to the church for admission. This she had
done, but when he asked her, further, to what cause, if
any, she ascribed this past sense of enmity against God,
she had been silent.
However, her father was fully satisfied. Like a
physician with a well-declared fever of a certain type,
he felt it to be a clear case. Considering his child’s
blameless innocence of life, it was an unexpectedly satisfactory
one from the theologian’s point of view.
As she sat now in the warm gloom of the June night,
with the dark trees murmuring softly under the wind,
and the sky with many stars bending near, only the
gable jutting above her head to keep its splendours off,
Anna travelled back in thought to her childish days and
found there the answer to her father’s question.
19
Nay, but I think the whisper crept
Like growth through childhood. Work and play,
Things common to the course of day,
Awed thee with meanings unfulfill’d;
And all through girlhood, something still’d
Thy senses like the birth of light,
When thou hast trimmed thy lamp at night
Or washed thy garments in the stream.
—Dante Gabriel Rossetti.
Until her twelfth year Anna had not encountered the
severities of Calvinistic theology, Samuel Mallison having
intrusted the spiritual guidance of his children, during
their earlier years, to their mother. Anna was the
youngest child. Mrs. Mallison was of a German Moravian
family who, coming from Pennsylvania, had settled
on the eastern boundary of New York early in the century.
She possessed the serene and trustful temperament
of her people. The subtleties of her husband’s religious
system were beyond her simple ken; she loved to sing
the hymns of Zinzendorf, as she sewed and spun and
ordered her household in true German Hausfräulichkeit,
a sincere, devout, affectionate soul who had found the
tone of the frigid little north New England community
more chilling than she dared to own.
From her Anna inherited her warm impulses, her
abounding delight in nature, her susceptibility to the
simplest impressions of sweet and common things.
Gulielma Mallison understood the child when she
came running to her one early spring morning from
20the parsonage garden, where the dark brown earth was
freshly upturned and young green things were springing,
and had tears in her eyes, veiling wonder, and a shy
thrill of joy in all her small birdlike frame, and had
asked, her hands clasped upon her breast:—
“Why am I so happy, mother, that I can’t bear it?
Why does something ache so here?”
“It is because thou art in God’s beautiful world, little
Benigna,” the mother had said, “and thou art God’s
child. He is near thee, and thy heart yearns to him.
Be glad in God.”
In his study, through the open door, Samuel Mallison
heard these words, and, whatever his perplexity as to
their doctrinal inconsistency, he did not gainsay them.
From his point of view at this time little Anna was
entirely out of relation to God and out of harmony with
his being, and it would have been impossible for her to
please him. But just then an old question, which would
not always down, had forced its way to his mind—What
if there were a wrong link somewhere in the logic?
What if the love of God were something greater than
the schoolmen guessed?
But on a certain winter night Anna’s childhood died,
and the battle of her life began.
Well she remembered every physical sensation even,
accompanying that experience.
It had been a snowy Saturday night, and she had come
in from the warm kitchen where, in a round washing-day
tub, drawn close to the hot stove, she had taken a
merry, splashing bath, after the regular order of exercises
for Saturday night at the parsonage. Her older sister,
Lucia, had presided over the function, and when it was
accomplished she had been closely wrapped in a pale
21straw-hued, homespun flannel sheet, over her nightclothes,
preparatory to facing the rigours of the bitterly cold hall
and stairs, and the little bedroom above.
So she had trailed into the living-room, where the
boys and her parents were gathered around a large table.
The room was not very brightly lighted by the single oil
lamp, but a great fire crackled loudly in the stove, and
the rattle of the hard snowflakes on the window panes
and the whistling of the wind outside gave keen emphasis
to the sense of cheerful safety and comfort.
Warm and languid from the heat of her bath, Anna
had sat down on a low seat and dropped her head on her
mother’s knees, feeling an indescribable sensation of
happy lassitude and physical well-being. She recalled
how interested she had been in the shrivelled whiteness
of her own long, little fingers, and how soft and woolly
that dear old blanket had felt; it was on her bed now,
with her mother’s maiden name worked in cross-stitch
in one corner, in pale pink crewel.
They had been waiting for her, to proceed with the
evening devotions, and her father had at once begun to
read a part of a sermon from one of the standard divines
who, though somewhat out of fashion in the centres of
progressive thought, were still held infallible in these
remoter regions.
The subject was “The Benevolence of God in Inflicting
Punishment,” from a work entitled “The Effects of
the Fall.”
Anna did not listen very closely for a time, but presently
her attention was caught and held. The writer
was seeking to prove that “the damnation of a large
part of the human race directly subserved the general
happiness of mankind and the glory of God.” That
22even if he had saved none of the sons of men, but “had
left them to the endless torment they had so justly deserved,”
and “had glorified himself in their eternal ruin,
they would have had no cause to complain.” That the
best of what were illusively known as “good works,”
were “no more than splendid sins.” That no doubt,
if any heathen could be found who was truly virtuous
and holy, who loved God in the strictly evangelical
sense, as infinitely great, wise, and holy, and who kept all
his perfect law without infraction, such heathen might
be saved. But as there was no evidence that any such
heathen ever had existed, or ever could exist, there was
no reason to believe that any had been saved. As the
heathen still formed a vast proportion of the population
of the globe, and as only a small fraction of those nations
commonly known as Christian had actually and experimentally
come under the law of grace, the only conclusion
possible was, that a vast proportion of the human
family throughout all ages and down to the present time
“were serving the purposes of God’s infinite wisdom
and benevolence in their creation in endless misery or
torment.”
The triumphant logic of the old divine, which Mrs.
Mallison secretly found discomfiting but accepted calmly
enough considering its terrific import, and which her
husband read with the sad and solemn pathos of one to
whom it was a mournful verity, had a curious effect
upon little Anna. For the first time the real meaning
of familiar words like these smote full and sharp upon
her mind, and in the physical lassitude of the moment
acted like a bodily injury upon her. She grew whiter
and whiter, and she touched and grasped the soft blanket
about her with powerless fingers, to convince herself
23that she could feel and find what was familiar, faintness
being an absolutely unknown sensation.
Suddenly, with an imperious impulse, and a singular
effect of childish courage which dared to do an unheard-of
thing, she rose and said with perfect apparent composure,
breaking in upon the reading:—
“I am too tired to stay here any longer, I am going
upstairs now,” and so left the room. Her mother had
watched the slight figure in its close drapery with anxious
eyes until the door closed upon her, but had not thought
of following. This reading was a solemn function not
to be lightly interrupted.
Upstairs, Anna had betaken herself hastily to bed, and
lay there, motionless, somewhat alarmed at her own revolutionary
action, and with little to say when questioned
by her mother presently.
But when the house was still, and the night advancing
to its mid depth of darkness, the child, still lying with
wide, wakeful eyes, cried silently with a piteous consciousness
of desolation and sorrow. A sense of the bitterness
of a world where millions of helpless human spirits
were shut up to endless agony had overwhelmed her, and
a spirit of rebellion against God who willed it so for his
own glory had taken intense possession of her thought.
In the passion of her childish resentment and grief
and worn by the unwonted wakefulness, her breath came
in long, quivering sobs which were heard in the next
room, and brought her father to her side.
She could answer nothing to his questions, but he
found her hands cold, and her pulse weak and rapid.
“You did not eat your supper to-night, little Anna,”
he said gently, remembering her faint appetite for the
frugal fare of the parsonage table.
24Anna only sobbed more convulsively. She had expected
severity and blame, feeling verily guilty in spirit.
Samuel Mallison said nothing more, but Anna, wondering,
heard him go downstairs, heard doors open and
shut, and then silence fell again. Ten minutes later her
father stood again by the bedside in the icy chill of the
winter midnight in the unwarmed chamber, and he had
brought a bowl of broth, hot and smoking, bread, too,
and, most unwonted pampering, a piece of the rare poundcake,
kept for company and never given to children
except on high holidays.
Neither of them spoke, but Samuel Mallison, for all
the cold, sat on the bed’s edge while Anna ate and
drank, drawing her frail little body to rest against his
own.
The broth was salted for Anna by her tears, and the
long-drawn sobs, coming at intervals, half choked her as
she ate, but she was comforted at last and fortified against
the woe of the world, and she pressed her cheek against
her father’s arm with a sense of the infinite sweetness of
fatherhood warm at her heart. As she finished the last
crumb of cake, she thought:—
“If only God had been kind like my father! I was
naughty, and that only makes him good to me and pitiful.”
But she said nothing, only looked with a world
of wondering gratefulness in her large innocent eyes up
into her father’s face, finding some perplexity that cake
and broth should reconcile her to the everlasting torment
of the majority of mankind, but wisely concluding to
make the best of it since such seemed to be the effect,
and, as it was now undoubtedly high time, to go to sleep.
Finding her bright and well next morning, the Mallisons,
father and mother, had thought little more of that
25Saturday night revolt, which they, indeed, had not known
as such; but, as she looked back over her years to-night,
in her gable window, Anna perceived that from that time
there had always been in the secret place of her heart a
sense of enmity against a God who was not kind like her
father. To-night she knew herself, at last, reconciled;
faith had triumphed and declared that even the darkest
decree of God’s great will must be right, since he was
the absolutely Good. But her heart yearned with mighty
yearning for the subjects of his just wrath, and as she
knelt in the darkness and silence she gave herself with
simple, unreserved sincerity to the service of the lost
among men.
Rising from her knees, Anna felt a strange glow and
exaltation of spirit. In her own personal life sin had
been met and vanquished. Tremendous apostolic assertions
buoyed her soul upward like strong wings: “free
from the law of sin and of death,” “passed from death
unto life,” “All things are yours, and ye are Christ’s,
and Christ is God’s.” Thus she felt her finite linked to
the infinite. Her spirit was suffused with thrilling and
unspeakable joy; God was closer than breathing and
nearer than hands and feet.
But, as she stood rapt and absorbed, there came up
through the hush of the night from the dim street below
a strange sound, and she was caught back by it, and
listened painfully. It was a little child crying piteously.
Peering down through the clustering branches, below
her window, Anna could discern by the dim light of the
stars the shape of a woman, forlorn and spiritless, passing
silently along the shadowed way. Behind her followed
the crying child, with weary little feet stumbling
at every stone. The woman carried something in her
26arms, hidden by an apron; she turned and looked at the
child, and shook her head, but did not speak.
This woman, who moved abroad only at night, was
the village outcast, and the child was her child, born in
sin.
Vague and uncomprehended to Anna’s mind was the
abyss into which this woman had fallen, but she felt it
to be black and bottomless, and to place an everlasting
separation between her and the good. She drew back
from the window, a sharp pain, made of pity and horror,
at her heart, sin embodied thus confronting her. She
felt as Sir Launfal felt when he saw the leper.
Lying down to rest at last, Anna slept, in spite of
spiritual ecstasies and sufferings, the sound sleep of a
healthy girl who is fortunate enough to forget the ultimate
destinies of human souls, her own with the rest,
for certain favoured hours.
It was long before her sleep was disturbed by dreams,
but an hour before sunrise she awoke with a pervading
sense of exquisite happiness brought over with her from
a dream just dreamed. It was a still dream of seeing,
not of doing. She had seen the form of a man of
heroic aspect, old rather than young, with a grey head,
leonine and majestic, strong stern features, a glance
mild and yet searching and subduing; a man imperial
and lofty, and above his fellows, but whether as king
or saint or soldier she could not guess. But here was
made visible a power, a freedom, and a greatness for
which her own nature, she felt in a swift flash of self-revelation,
passionately cried out, which it had nowhere
found, and to which it bowed in a curious delight
hitherto unknown. This only happened: this mysterious
personality, more than human, she thought, if less
27than divine, had looked kindly upon her, in her weak,
childish abasement, and had shed into her eyes, and so
into her heart, the impossible, inexplicable happiness with
which she awoke. She did not sleep again. This waking
consciousness enamoured her.
What did it mean? Anna asked herself all day. Was
it a dream sent from God at this solemn hour of dedication?
If so, what did it prefigure? Even at the sacramental
feast, her first communion, that majestic head,
with the controlling sweetness of the eyes upon her,
came before her vision, and made her heart beat fast.
28
The fiend that man harries
Is love of the Best.
—The Sphynx, R. W. Emerson.
Malvina Loveland, the girl whom Anna had found
solace in forgiving for her childish offence, had “come
out,” as Haran people said, at the same time with
Anna.
This fact, and the compunction in Anna’s heart toward
her early foe, had drawn the two girls together,
and they became friends. They talked of the interests
of the cause of religion, and read biographies together,
or rather, Anna read aloud while her friend diligently
produced lace work with a small shuttle, or hemstitched
linen ruffles; but both cared less for these several occupations
than for the sense of mingling their young,
unfolding perceptions.
Anna had need of a friend; Lucia, her sister, was
many years older, and had long ago married a farmer,
and departed deeper into the hills, where she worked
with the immoderate industry of New England women,
bore many children, and lived a life into which Anna
did not enter deeply. The Mallison boys were away
from home, studying and working, and the parsonage
was a silent place. Anna adored her father with the
restrained ardour of her kind, and loved her mother with
a great tenderness, but she was actively intimate with
neither, and thus greatly alone.
Mally was noticeably pretty, and Anna thought her
29beauty angelic. She was capable, clever, quick, and
impulsive, one of the women who can do anything they
see done, strongly imitative and impressionable. She
developed rapidly, while Anna matured slowly. Anna
had nobleness, Mally had facility. Anna, beside Mally,
looked uncomfortably tall, with her angular thinness and
her dark, grave face. She had masses of lustreless brown
hair, a clear brune skin like her father, and, like him,
singularly fine hands. Her eyes were her mother’s,
and her only beauty,—golden brown, and of limpid
clearness.
To both these girls their religion was a system of
prohibition and of an abnormal development of conscience.
The negative, not the positive, side was uppermost
to them. “Thou shalt not” was written over
every device and desire which did not minister directly
to the furtherance of the local conception of religion.
Both were eager to grasp the positive side, to convert
the world, to see Satan chained, and themselves to contribute
to this desirable consummation; but they were
doubtful how to begin. Both were ardent controversialists
after the manner of their day, and Anna read systematic
theology with her father with extraordinary
relish.
They waited and wondered, each longing for her destiny
to disclose itself decisively. But with Anna a hidden
life budded beneath the surface, unknown even to
Mally. The romantic and poetic impulses of her nature,
no longer directly nourished by the poets whom
she had put away from her by force, stirred in her heart,
and fed themselves, in silence, on the life of nature, and
on the delicate, evanescent imaginings of her awakening
womanhood.
30Below the surface of her conscious thoughts a strange
inarticulate passion for power and freedom beat and
throbbed, and would not be stilled, despite her quiet,
conscientious conformity to the narrow conditions of the
world about her. She did not know what freedom was,
but she felt that she was not free; neither did she clearly
know what the power meant for which she longed, but
she felt the absence of it in every one she had ever met.
It was mysterious, indefinable—once only had she encountered
it, and that was in a dream.
Thus a nature simple and single, with all its forces
apparently bent one way, and with few avenues, or none,
by which to import conflicting influences, was, in fact,
already incipiently subject to the complexities of instinct,
of motive, and desire, which weave the bewildering network
of human experience.
When Anna was twenty, an event occurred of much
importance in its bearing on her life. Under the direction
of an old friend of Samuel Mallison, the Rev.
Dr. Durham of Boston, a general secretary for Foreign
Missions, a series of meetings was held in Haran for the
promotion of an interest in this cause. Dr. Durham
was entertained, during the time of the convention, at
the parsonage; he was a genial and kindly man, and became
in his way an especial friend of Anna, in whom
he manifested a marked interest.
From the country round about, during the week, men
and women thronged to Haran; and at an evening meeting
to be addressed by a woman who had been a missionary
in India, the white meeting-house was filled.
Many in the congregation had never seen a missionary;
many more had never heard a woman speak in public.
Curiosity ran high.
31The speaker was a little sallow woman, in a plain and
unbecoming grey gown, who stepped timidly to the edge
of the platform, laying a small hand which trembled visibly
on the cold mahogany pulpit, as if to conciliate it
for her intrusion and to crave its support.
She spoke in a shrill crescendo, without the graces or
arts of a skilled speaker, and she made no appeal to the
emotions of the hearers. It was rather a dry and unimaginative
account of the work done at an obscure mountain
station, with statistics of no great impressiveness,
and careful attention to accuracy of detail. But she
had the advantage of sowing her seed on virgin soil. It
was not important at that day and to those isolated and
simple-minded people that the missionary should speak
with enticing words, or attempt dramatic effect. She
was herself there before them in flesh and blood, and no
great time before she had been on heathen ground, had
come into actual combat, face to face, with wild, savage
men and strange, outlandish women, who knew not God,
and who veritably and visibly bowed down to wood and
stone.
For the hour, that little woman of weak bodily presence
and commonplace intellect became the incarnation
of Christianity seeking a lost world, and she herself was
far greater to their thought than anything she could have
said.
At the end of her report, for it was that rather than
appeal or address, she told the story of a high-caste
Hindu woman to whom she had sought to give the gospel
message. This woman had turned upon her with
grave wonder and had asked, “How long have you
known this? about this Jesus?”
“Oh, for many years, all my life in fact.”
32“Then,” said the woman, solemnly, “why did you not
come to tell us before?”
Without comment or enlargement, having told of this
occurrence, the speaker turned and walked shyly from
the platform, leaving an unusual hush in the assembly, as
if an event, a result of some sort, were waited for.
Toward the end of the church, where she was seated
with her mother, Anna Mallison rose in her place, made
her way out into the middle aisle, and then, with her head
a little bent, but her face neither pale nor agitated, walked
quietly to the foot of the platform. Samuel Mallison,
who was seated with Dr. Durham behind the pulpit,
rose and stood, just above, as if to receive her, looking
down with solemn eyes. Some one who saw Anna’s
face said that, as she looked up into that of her father
thus bent above her, the smile which suddenly illuminated
it was beyond earthly beauty. It was a look in
which two human spirits, and those father and child,
purged as far as might be of earthliness, met in angelic
interchange, pure and high.
Turning about, thus facing the great congregation,
Anna, who had never before spoken in a public gathering
of any sort, however small, said in a voice which
was clear and distinct, though not loud:—
“I wish to offer myself to this society to go, if they
will send me, to some heathen people, to tell them that
Christ has died to save them. I am ready to go at once,
if it is thought best.”
The gravity and simplicity, and absence of self-consciousness,
of the girl’s words and bearing, and the profound
sympathy of the people who saw and heard her,
combined to produce an overpowering impression. As
the meeting broke up, women were weeping all over
33the house, and sturdy unemotional men were deeply
moved.
Anna, seeing that many would surround her and
speak their sympathy or give their praise, which she
dreaded and feared to hear, turned with swift steps to
the door nearest her, and so escaped into the outer darkness
of the night, no one following.
But, as she hurried with light steps across the village
green and reached the parsonage gate, she found Mally
waiting to waylay her.
“Oh, Anna,” she cried, and her tears flowed fast,
“you will go away from me, from all of us! How can
you put this great distance between us?”
“How can I do anything else, Mally?” Anna answered
softly. “It is what I have been waiting for; I
think I was never truly happy until to-night. All my
life before I have been unsatisfied, and something has
ached and hurt whenever I stopped to feel it.”
“And to-night you are really happy?” cried her
friend, half enviously, and yet by no means drawn to
devote herself to the medley of crocodiles, dark-skinned
babies, and cars of Juggernaut, which signified India to
her mind.
“Oh, at last!” Anna exclaimed, and with a long
breath of relief. “Will it not bring peace, Mally, to
know that I am surely doing His will? It will be like
pure sunshine after living in a fog these past years.”
“Then weren’t you really happy when you were converted
and joined the church?” asked Mally, naïvely.
“Partly. But just to be happy because you are saved
yourself—why, it does not last. And you know, dear,
we could never find anybody’s soul to work for here in
Haran; at least, we didn’t know how,” and Anna became
34silent, the vision of one solitary outcast coming
before her, with whom she had been forbidden even to
speak. But Mally refused to be comforted thus, and
went her way with many tears.
There were more tears for Anna to encounter that
night, for her mother came home broken-hearted. The
Lord had answered her husband’s daily prayer, and had
graciously chosen one of their own family to preach the
gospel to the heathen, and the answered prayer was more
than the loving soul could sustain. Like Jacob, she
could get no farther than the wail, “If I am bereaved,
I am bereaved.”
Not so Samuel Mallison. Too long had he schooled
himself to the sacrifice of his dearest human and earthly
desires. The long discipline of his life stood him now
in good stead. Coming into the room where Anna was
vainly seeking to comfort her mother, he laid his hands
in blessing on her head, and with a look upward which
stilled the weeping woman, he pronounced the ancient
words:—
“Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word;
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation.”
And yet Anna was the very apple of his eye. Of
such fibre was the altruism of that rugged first growth.
35
Life! life! thou sea-fugue, writ from east to west,
Love, Love alone can pore
On thy dissolving score
Of harsh half-phrasings,
Blotted ere writ,
And double erasings
Of chords most fit.
—Sidney Lanier.
From the time of the missionary meeting and the
announcement of his daughter’s determination to devote
herself to the service of Christ in a heathen land, Samuel
Mallison’s health declined rapidly. His Nunc Dimittis
was of literal import, and prophetic.
Whether the death which all who loved him saw that
he was soon to accomplish could be called dying of
heart-break or dying of fulfilled desire, would have been
hard to determine. Heart and flesh cried out against
the separation from his best-beloved child, while the
triumphant spirit blessed God for answered prayer, and
for the fruition in that cherished life of his child of
hopes and aspirations which had been but scantily fulfilled
in his own.
“I have not been a successful man, Anna,” he said
to her one autumn day when they were alone in his
study. He sat erect in his straight chair, but with an
unmistakable languor in every line of face and frame,
and with a feverish brightness in his prominent dark
eyes.
Anna laid her hand upon his with endless gentleness.
36“No man in Haran is so beloved, father. No man
has done so much good.”
“Perhaps,” he answered sadly, “and I am satisfied.
It is the will of God. Anna, I have seemed, perhaps,
cold and silent, and without feeling as you have seen me;
but the fire within has burned unceasingly, and I am
consumed.”
The last words were spoken lower and with an unconscious
pathos which moved Anna unspeakably.
“I do not understand, father dear, not fully. Can
you tell me all? I love you so.”
They were the simplest words of the most natural
affection, and yet it was the first time in her life that
Anna had spoken after this sort to her father.
“My girl,” he said simply, taking her hand within
his own. Then, after a pause, he continued speaking.
“It is after this manner that life has gone with me.
I believe I ought to retrace my past with you—for perhaps
there may be light upon your path, if you know all.
When I entered the ministry it was with sincerely right
purpose; all the influences of my life pointed me in that
direction, but it was, perhaps, more as an intellectual and
congenial profession than from deeper reasons. I began
my ministry, in 1841, in Boston. I was considered to
have certain gifts which were valued in that day, and all
went well, on the surface. But it was the period of a
literary awakening in our nation, of which Boston was
the centre of influence. An American literature was
just becoming a visible reality, and a new impulse was at
work and stirring everywhere. Men of original force
were suddenly multiplied before us, and the contagion of
intellectual ambition was felt in an altogether new degree.
To me it became all-controlling. Transcendental philosophy,
37Platonism, and classic learning acquired for me
a supreme attraction, and I gave myself more and more
to the study of them, and to the translation of Greek
poetry. This had no unfavourable effect upon my preaching
in the opinion of my congregation, rather the reverse,
and I may say without vanity that I had reached comparatively
early a certain eminence to which I was by no
means indifferent.”
Samuel Mallison paused a moment, while Anna
silently reflected that this narrative would in the end
explain the buried books of her dear old garret delight.
“Learning was young among us in those days,
Anna,” Samuel Mallison began again humbly, after a
little space, “else this would not have happened; in
the year 1848 I received a call to a professorship of the
Greek language and literature in Harvard College.”
Anna felt her own young blood rush to her cheeks in
pride and wonder and amazement. To her little-village
simplicity and scanty experience this seemed a surpassing
distinction, and one which placed her father among the
great men of the earth.
“The day after the mind of the authorities had been
made known to me, was the day of my life which I
remember best,” Samuel Mallison continued.
“I went to my study that morning with a programme
of what would take place somewhat definitely before
my mind. I was about to seek, humbly and devoutly,
an interview with God, in which I would lay before
him this new and momentous opening in my life, and
seek to have his will for me made clear. What this
will would be, or what I should take it to be, was, just
below the surface of my mind, a foregone conclusion.
In fact, my letter of acceptance was substantially framed
38in my mind already. I had never been favoured with
voices and visions and revelations clear and conclusive
in my religious experience, and I foresaw a decision
based upon general reasonableness and preference,
touched with a pleasant sense of the divine favour,
which might naturally be expected to rest upon so
congenial a course, and one so worthily justified by
precedent. I read, as a preparatory exercise, with perfect
satisfaction, the twelfth chapter of John’s Gospel,
then closed my Bible and knelt in prayer. This was
exactly as I had foreseen—an orderly series of exercises
befitting my position. But, oh; how mechanical,
how cold, how barren! With such perfunctory practices
I could think to take leave of the sacred calling
of the ministry, so dead had my spirit grown to the
claims of the blessed gospel, and its mission of salvation
to a lost and perishing world!
“I knelt and thought to pray, but, like the king in
‘Hamlet’, my words flew up, my thoughts remained
below. Between me and Him whom I would have
approached, interposed, like a palpable barrier, a solemn
reiterated echo of words just read: ‘Verily, verily, I
say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the
ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth
forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall
lose it.’
“I rose from my knees and walked up and down the
room in great anxiety of spirit. This new work which
I thought to undertake was educational, ennobling, necessary;
in no way contrary to sound doctrine, in no
way a betrayal of sacred responsibility; I was fitted for
it by nature, by tastes, and attainments. Why was it
opened to me? To mock me? to tempt? I could
39not believe it, I had welcomed it as coming in the providence
of God.
“But my heart-searching grew swift and deep, and
it was given me to see the absoluteness, the finality, of
the vows which I had assumed, from which I straightway
realized that no argument of those with which I
was equipped sufficed to release me. Feebly and imperfectly,
yet sensibly, I began to grasp the import of
what the apostle calls the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings,
the being made conformable unto his death. Oh,
the depth of the mystery hid in that saying! All these
years I have sounded it—Anna, all these years I have
died, in my own natural life—I have striven to give all
I had to give, but the ‘much fruit’—where has it
been?”
An expression of pain, hardly less than agony, was
impressed upon Samuel Mallison’s face, and Anna hid
her eyes, finding it too bitter to bear to see him suffer
thus.
“I put it all away from me, then and there. Nothing
was possible but for me to decline the invitation which
had been given, you can see. Further, I saw that my
studies had been my snare. My love of poetry and
philosophy and learning, the prominence of my pulpit,
the social and intellectual affinities I had formed, all had
contributed to my spiritual deadness and decline. It
was then that I put away in that box, now upstairs, the
books which had particularly ministered to the tastes
which had led me so far from the true conception of my
life work. Never since that day have I allowed myself
to follow the instinct for poetic expression. That longing
had to be cut out, even if some life-blood flowed in
the doing it. Henceforth, I wished to know nothing
40but Christ, and him—Anna, do not fail to grasp this—him,
not triumphant, but crucified. The offence of
the cross to the natural spirit, how hardly can it be overcome!
No child’s play, no easy and harmonious growth
in grace, has it been to me, but a conflict all the way.
Your mother has a different type of religious life. Be
thankful if her temperament shall prove to be yours.
“That is the story. I left my church not very long
after and sought this rugged, remote section, because it
offered hard work and a needy field, which some men
shunned. Some years before I had met your mother, and
we were married. Twenty years of my life and its best
activity have been spent here in Haran. Those first
few years and what made life to me in them I have looked
upon as a false start. From that day, I sought only this
one gift: an especial enduement of the Holy Spirit to
give me power with men unto salvation. I desired this
gift supremely, but I have not received it in any signal
manner. My ministry has not been wholly unfruitful,
but it has been lacking in the results for which I hoped;
I have not had power with God and men, as have some
of my more favoured brethren. The end is near now,
very near, but I come with almost empty hands and a
humbled, contrite heart to meet my Judge. But, my
child, whatever the conflicts of the past years, the last
thing which I could wish for to-day would be to have
reversed that early decision. My life, from the merely
human point of view, might, perhaps, on the line of intellectual
effort have been counted successful, while as a
minister of Christ it has not been so to any marked degree:
but what is success, and what failure, when the
things of time fade before our eyes?”
Samuel Mallison’s head drooped upon one supporting
41hand, and an expression of solemn musing rested on his
face, while Anna’s tears flowed fast.
“Just to do our own little day’s work faithfully, not
knowing what its part may be in the great whole, just
to hold fast to the word of God and the testimony of
Jesus, and, having begun the race, to continue to the end—is
not this enough?”
There was silence between them for some moments,
and then the father said, making a sign to Anna to
rise:—
“I want you to leave me now, dear child. I must
rest. The one earthly hope to which I still cling is that
to you may be given the reward of ‘much fruit,’ which
I have failed to win. Remember this, if all the other
teaching I have given you shall be forgotten in the years
which are to try you, of what stuff you are made: with
greatness we have nothing at all to do; faithfulness only is
our part.”
Anna Mallison listened to these words with reverent
sympathy and loving response, but the deeper meaning
of them did not reveal itself to her, her time for perception
being not yet fully come.
42
O Joy, hast thou a shape?
Hast thou a breath?
How fillest thou the soundless air?
Tell me the pillars of thy house!
What rest they on? Do they escape
The victory of Death?
—H. H.
In the largest theatre of the New England city of
Springfield on a night in December, an immense assembly
of people was gathered. Every gallery was crowded
to its utmost, and the house, from floor to roof, was a
dense mass of human beings. On the stage were musical
instruments, but the customary scenery was withdrawn,
save that the background showed a Neapolitan
villa situated on the slope of a Swiss mountain, at the
base of which an ultramarine ocean heaved stormily.
Against the incongruity of this unstable structure were
massed several hundred men and women, and before
them a musical leader, baton in hand. At an appointed
signal the great chorus stood, and with them, at the gesture
of a man, himself seated near the centre of the foreground
of the stage, the whole audience, with a rushing
sound like the sea or the wind, rose also.
Then there was sung by the chorus, with trained perfection,
an old hymn, the words of which, as well as the
melody, were of quaint and almost childish simplicity:—
“Alas, and did my Saviour bleed?
And did my Sovereign die?
43Would he devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I?
Was it for crimes that I had done
He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity, grace unknown,
And love beyond degree.”
With a swift motion of his baton the leader indicated
that the whole assembly was to join in singing the refrain,
in lowered voices. There followed in a deep murmur
of a pathos quite indescribable:—
“Remember me, remember me,
Oh, Lord, remember me!
And when thou sittest on thy throne
Dear Lord, remember me.”
At the close of this hymn many people in all parts of
the house were in tears, but the hush of motionless silence
following was complete, and the eyes of all were riveted
upon that central figure on the stage, the man who now
rose and, advancing to the front, began to address them.
This man was of majestic personal presence and his
speech was with marked power. Thinly veiled under a
manner of unusual restraint and quietness lay a genius
for emotional appeal and for persuasion. There was in
his manner and speech an utter absence of excitability,
and yet a quality which excited; a capacity for impassioned
eloquence, apparently controlled and held back
by the speaker’s will. The congregation listened with
absorbed attention.
At the close of the address, which was designed to
move all the impenitent or irresolute persons present to
an immediate confession of their need of a Saviour, the
speaker asked those of this class who were present and
44were so inclined to advance and take certain seats,
directly in front of the stage, which had been reserved
for them.
A close observer would have been interested in watching
the man as this part of the evening’s work was
ushered in. The restrained intensity of his manner was
noticeably augmented; his eyes moved slowly and searchingly
from one part of the house to another with a gaze
which no trifler and no awakened soul might escape.
The expression of his face was sternly solemn, even
tragical, as of one undergoing an actual travail of spirit.
He stood absolutely motionless save for a single and
significant gesture of his right hand, an upward gesture
made with peculiar slowness and with dramatic effect.
It was at once entreating, subduing, and commanding.
At the first moment no person stirred; but presently,
as if drawn by an irresistible magnetism, a stream of
men and women could be seen advancing down the various
aisles, with fixed look, pallid faces, and sometimes
with tears. Upon such the speaker bent a look of gentleness
and encouragement, in which his features would
be momentarily relaxed, only to resume the profound
solemnity already spoken of, as he lifted his eyes again
to the unmoved masses still confronting him.
The chorus, without rising, now chanted softly the
words of vivid appeal:—
“Why not to-night? Why not to-night?
Thou wouldst be saved, why not to-night?”
Many moments passed. The company of seekers
now numbered a hundred. Beneath the absolute outward
restraint which held all, an inner excitement grew
steadily in intensity, and the subtle contagion of “the
45crowd” assumed an irresistible sway. It might have
become alarming. It possessed elements of terror just
below the surface. A climax was reached when a man
of gigantic frame and brutalized features, in the upper
gallery, stepped forward, and with a gesture rude and
almost wild, flung out his arms toward the evangelist,
and called through the silence of the place:—
“I give in—you knew I’d have to. Yes, I’m
comin’.” And then, turning, clattered down the bare
gallery stairs, only to reappear presently below, with his
coarse head bent and big tears flowing down his purple
cheeks.
Gradually the stream of seekers abated, and the aisles
became empty. Thus far no word of appeal or warning
had been added to the sermon; save for the restrained
monotony of the music this extraordinary scene
had taken place in complete silence.
Then the speaker’s voice was heard again, and in it
was a strange emotional quality which had been previously
unnoticed, and before which the pride and will of
many melted within them.
“The people of this company are dismissed to their
homes,” he said, in gentle, measured tones; “my work
now is for those who have feared God rather than men.
They will remain. Let all others go without unnecessary
delay, or stopping for speech with one another.
The Spirit is here.”
The benediction followed, but as they broke up, scores
hitherto irresolute turned and joined the company of
seekers in the front of the house.
When the speaker, the house being otherwise emptied,
came down to the anxious and disquieted little
company waiting for his guidance, he stood before them
46in silence for a little space, and then, turning to a group
of clergymen who were associated with him, he said:—
“Pardon me, but I believe I will leave these friends
in your hands, brethren. I wish to return immediately
to my lodging,” and saying nothing further in explanation
or apology, he departed, with evident haste.
When he reached the lobby of the theatre he found
three men watching who hastened toward him, their
spokesman, with outstretched hand, introducing himself
and his companions and adding, with eager cordiality:—
“This is so much better than we expected. We
were prepared to wait for you some time.”
The man received the greeting gravely, and, indeed,
silently.
“Will you come with us now to our hotel? We
wish to confer with you. We have come from New
York for that purpose.”
“Will you not let me know what you wish here, at
once?” was the rejoinder. “I am in some haste.”
“Certainly, certainly, if you prefer it,” said the other,
cheerfully, hiding a shade of discomfiture. Then, with
a change to serious emphasis, he proceeded: “We
want you to undertake a work in New York this winter,
as soon as possible, in fact. A large group of prominent
churches is ready to unite in the movement, and unlimited
resources will be placed at your disposal. Your own
compensation, pardon me for alluding to it, will be anything
you will name—that is a matter of indifference to
the committee, save that it be large enough. We are
ready to build you a tabernacle two hundred feet square,—larger
if you like.”
The man addressed involuntarily laid his hand on his
breast; a letter in the pocket under his hand, from Chicago,
47specified a tabernacle three hundred feet square.
He smiled slightly; even religious zeal was a size larger
in Chicago than elsewhere.
Further details were mentioned, but the evangelist
seemed to give them a forced and mechanical attention.
Then, rather suddenly, he broke in with a word of
apology.
“I am fully sensible, gentlemen,” he went on, “of
the confidence you have manifested in me, and I would,
under other conditions, have accepted your proposition.
But the very circumstance of your making it to-night
hastens an action on my part which I have been approaching,
but had not, until now, definitely determined
upon. I am about to withdraw from this work, and can
form no engagements, however promising. I shall close
the meetings here as soon as I can honourably do so, and
these meetings are, for the present certainly, my last.”
The blank faces of the three men before him seemed
to demand a word or two more.
“My reasons?” he asked with curt and almost chilling
brevity. “Pardon me. They are personal to
myself. Good evening. No one can regret your disappointment
more than I.” With these words the
speaker turned abruptly from the little group and left
the theatre. In great amazement and perplexity the
committee of three presently followed his example.
Here was an accredited and earnest man, no irresponsible
religious tramp, who possessed, apparently in a
superlative degree, the gift of winning souls for which
Samuel Mallison had given his all, if in vain, and for
lack of which he might fairly be said to be dying, being
one who could have lived on spiritual joy, if such had
ever been his portion. And this man, possessing this
48coveted and crowning religious endowment, was deliberately
putting it aside, and refusing to use it. What
did it signify?
Anna Mallison had left Haran, in its ice-bound valley,
early that morning, and, by travelling through snowdrifts
in a sleigh all the forenoon, had been favoured to get
as far as Springfield on her journey, at nine o’clock of
that same evening. She was bound for Boston, where she
was to go before the missionary board to be examined as
to her fitness and promise for a worker on the “foreign
field.”
At the Springfield station Anna had been met by the
little missionary lady whom she had heard and met in
Haran on her night of great decision. By her she had
been conducted to a hotel, shown to a room, affectionately
if reticently counselled, and then left to sleep and
be ready for another early start on the following morning.
It was the first time Anna had ever been in a city,
and she was bewildered by the noise and lights in the
streets through which she had been hurriedly driven.
Left alone, she looked about her at the stiff order of
the narrow hotel chamber, the first she had ever inhabited,
the showy, shabby carpet, the cheap carvings of
the furniture, the long mirror in which she herself stood,
still and dreary, and a rushing wave of heart-sickness
swept over her. Her anxiety for her father became
suddenly poignant; a sense of the sadness of his life
tore her heart with fierce pain: she realized now, as
she had failed to before, how fast his strength declined.
She longed to know how that moment fared with him,
and how the next would. A wild purpose seized her
49to return the next morning to Haran, and let all other
purposes go until some later time.
However, in spite of all this anxiety and doubt,
Anna’s physical weariness was sufficient to bring sleep
apace, when once her head was on the pillow, and all
the distant murmur of the city and the sudden, uncomprehended
noises of the great house were soon lost to
her. Thus she failed to hear a man who entered the
room next to hers within the same hour, who closed the
door with some emphasis and locked it fast; who, after
that, walked up and down within the narrow limits of
that room with uniform, slow step, and who continued
to do this until the December dawn filtered through the
dim windows. All was still in that next room when
Anna awoke. The anxiety and homesickness of the
night before were gone, and in their place was that
mysterious joy which once before on a June night had
strangely visited her. Again, in her dream, she had
seen the face which ever since had dominated her; as
before, it was majestic, free, and strong. As before, it
had bent to her,—
“Bent down and smiled.”
She rose hastily, glad and awed and greatly wondering.
At six o’clock she was ready and went down to
the great dining-hall, dark save for the wan light of a
single gas jet under which she sat down, silent and
alone, and was served by a heavy-eyed, untidy man-servant,
with an indifferent breakfast. She swallowed
a few mouthfuls by force of will, then gathered up her
humble belongings, and started out alone into the icy
chill of the grey morning. It was too early for her
friend from the Orient to brave the rigours of the unaccustomed
50winter. It was all comfortless, dreary, and
inauspicious; small cheer for a young girl starting on
such an errand, but there was no sinking now of her
spirit. She walked to the Springfield station in the light
and warmth of that inexplicable radiance of her dream,
and so pursued her journey to Boston.
FROM ANNA MALLISON’S NOTE-BOOK
Do you believe in the mutual penetration of mind? Do you
believe that, independent of word and voice, independent of
distance, from one end of the world to the other, minds can influence
and penetrate one another?... Do you not know a
soul can feel within it another soul which touches it?
—Père Gratry.
January 28, 1870.—A week to-day since my father
was buried. It is late at night, and I have come up to
my little roof room, but I cannot sleep. I have been
with my mother, and we have cried together, until she
sleeps at last, so tired, and her dear face changed so
sadly that, as she slept, I was almost afraid. And yet
she is greatly upheld, and as gentle and uncomplaining
as it is possible to be.
But for me, knowing my father, and trying to find
the meaning of his life, these days give me less grief
than wonder and perplexity. For a time after my
father told me the story of his past, after I knew what
he might have been, knew his great renunciation, his
utter humility, his leaving all to seek one only thing,
and that a gift for others, and even that being denied
him, so that to himself his life seemed a failure, and
its supreme sacrifice unsanctioned and unblessed—after
51this I could hardly bear the heart-break of it all. So
pure, so blameless, so devoted a life, and yet, to his own
thought, so unfruitful. Just a narrow little village
church, with its narrow little victories and defeats, and
its monotony of spiritual ebb and flow—this was the
sum of his achievement. Was it not hard of God?
This he would not have said, but my undisciplined heart
has cried out in bitterness and rebellion. I have been
in deep doubt and darkness.
To-night it is given me to see it all in light, and I am
reconciled. The word which changed my father’s life
was that great word of the Master, “Except a corn of
wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone.”
That dying, the utterness of it, was what we did not
comprehend. I think my father understood before he
left us, although he could not express it. But all along
he had felt that in dying in his own personal life to the
world and to his ambition, he was meeting the condition,
and that in his own personal life the fruits of that
death were to be manifest, that he should be set for the
salvation of many. But God sees not with our short
vision. Days with him are years, and years days; and
our whole life but a vapour, which appeareth for a little
time, and then vanisheth away.
This has come to me: My father’s sacrifice has borne
in the life of one of his children, if not in all, the fruit
of an especial dedication of that life to the service of
God. If he had not been the man he was, if he had
not laid down his life daily and hourly in humble self-surrender
to the Divine Will, never, never should I have
dreamed of giving myself to the work to which I am
now pledged. His life, in its deepest working, had been
wrought into mine, so that unconsciously I willed to be
52what he would have willed to have me. So, then, it is
no more I alone, but the spirit, the will, the nature of
my father that worketh in me.
The God of my father—this phrase, so common, so
almost commonplace before, has suddenly taken to itself
an extraordinary significance. My father’s God, my
God, who began in my father’s willing sacrifice of all
the noblest powers of his manhood his purpose of grace,
will now, in his good pleasure, carry on the one work,
the same so begun, through me, all unworthy as I am,
timid, trembling, but a child. A child, and yet called
with this high calling; child of a saint, called solemnly,
sacredly, in the very depths of my being, deeper than I
feel, higher than I know, to be my father’s child, to be
the continuance, the fulfilment of his dying life, to finish
what he began, to bring to fruitage the seed he died
to sow. How sublime, how sweet, how awful the vocation
wherewith I am called!
Then look upon me, O my God, my father’s God!
Behold my weakness; raise it into power; turn my dull
mind to light, my hard and narrow heart to a flame of
love; make me thy minister, thy messenger, fulfil in me
all thy great will.
February 20.—To-night I am alone in the old home,
not our home any more. It is stripped already of all that
made it home, but, bare and grim as it is, I love it, and
leave it with a sorrow my heart is yet too tired to realize.
They have consented to let me sleep this one last night
in my own little room. This poor bed is to be left,
being not worth removing, and all that clothes it goes
with me. So, like a pilgrim, under a tent roof for a
single night, I lie alone, and look up beyond the dear old
gable and see the winter stars.
53They shine upon his grave, and the snow already has
drifted over it, and my heart bleeds. Why will they not
let us pray for our dead as the Romish people do? Oh,
kind little father, gone what dim, dazzling way I do not
know, will they let you be happy at last? Will God let
you see why?
February 21.—It was a strange night, and yet most
beautiful.
I hardly slept, but prayed until nearly dawn. Then
I slept a short time, and woke to find my limbs racked
with pain from the bitter chill of the room, and tears
running down my face. Almost as if I were carrying
out an order given me in my sleep, I hurried on my
clothing, and, taking my candle, came down the stairs,
both flights, through the empty, echoing house, to the
rooms below. I was so cold that I shook from head to
foot. Then I found in the kitchen wood left from our
store, and I brought it into the east room, the parlour,
where we laid my father after his death, and where I had
sat beside his dear form each night. The great fireplace
was bare and empty, like the room, but the andirons
were left.
I laid the wood across and started the fire, and it
blazed and gave light, and threw strange shadows about
the room, and I kneeled beside it, on the hearth, as I
used sometimes when I was a little child, and warmed
my hands, and still I cried, and there was no one to
comfort me.
Mally says she would have been afraid—in that
room. I cannot understand. It is because her dearest
have not died. What of him could have been anything
but precious? To have felt his spirit near me!
That would indeed have been holy consolation.
54But what if that were true? I do not know. While
I so crouched in the chimney corner, my heart bleeding,
and the tears bathing my poor face, there was a soft
touch, lighter than the flight of a thistledown, passing
over my head, as if the gentlest hand God himself could
make gentle had smoothed my hair, and sought to comfort
me.
Then some one said: “I came here to be with you.”
But I do not know whether it was I who so said in my
own heart, or whether the words were spoken to my ear.
I only know that I was comforted, and the fire warmed
my aching limbs, and my head drooped against the wall,
and I slept with long sobs, as I slept once when I was
a child, and my dear father ministered to me.
It was broad daylight when I awoke, and I felt soothed
and strong. I rose to go and make ready to lock and
leave the house. But first I knelt and prayed, and I am
praying still.
Live in me, O God, as my father lives in me, and as
thou didst live in him. Let me live the life and die
the death which he sought to live, to die, for thee.
Give thou unto him through me abiding fruit in the
salvation of souls; and grant us such grace as that we
may humbly and worthily fulfil thy gracious will, I
on earth, as he in heaven.
55
She [Dorothea] could not reconcile the anxieties of a spiritual life involving
eternal consequences, with a keen interest in gimp, and artificial protrusions of
drapery.—Middlemarch, George Eliot.
A small house in a small street of a small provincial
city. A faded brown house with its front door directly
on the street, the steps jutting into the sidewalk. A
narrow strip of yard overlaid with grimy snow separated
this house from others on either side, equally unnotable
and uninteresting, the dwellings of mechanics and small
tradesmen.
It was the close of a rough March day, the wind had
not died with sunsetting, and a thin, piercing rain, colder
than snow, was driven before it into the very teeth of
the few passers-by.
A tall woman, in a straight black dress with a dyed
black shawl drawn tightly around her shoulders, was
making her way down the street dead against the wind,
which beat her hair out into wet strands and bound her
skirts hard about the slender long limbs. She made no
useless attempt to hold an umbrella; in fact, she carried
none, but was heavily burdened with four or five large
books. She was girlish in figure after a severe sort, her
step steady, her movement without impatience or fluttering,
in spite of the struggle with the wind. Seeing her
face, the absorbedness of sorrow in it was profound
enough to explain indifference to sharper buffetings than
those of the wind. It was Anna Mallison.
56When she reached the house she deposited her books
on the icy step and drew from her pocket with stiffened,
aching fingers a key with which she unlocked the door.
The house was unlighted, and its close, airless precincts
apparently empty.
Stooping, Anna gathered her books again and closed
the door, then groped her way to a steep staircase, a
weary sigh escaping her as if in spite of herself. The
room which she entered, silent and dark at her coming,
showed itself, when she had lighted a lamp, a low but
spacious living room, stiffly and even meagrely furnished.
Opening beyond it was a smaller bedroom.
Having laid aside shawl and bonnet, Anna made preparation
for a simple evening meal for two persons. Not
until these were made did she stop to realize that she
was chilled and that her shoes were wet through. Characteristically
it was of the shoes she took cognizance
rather than of her feet—circumstances having thus far
led her to regard health as an easier thing to acquire than
food and raiment.
There was a sudden outburst now, from below, of
merry voices, both a man’s voice and a girl’s, in loud
and cheerful banter, then the house door shut with a
bang, there was a quick step on the stairs, and a gay,
fluttering, wind-blown figure of a pretty girl appeared in
the upper sitting room. It was Mally Loveland, Anna’s
early Haran friend and companion.
“Holloa, Anna!” she called lightly, “lucky for me
you got in first! A fire is a good thing, I tell you, on a
night like this.” Mally’s voice had acquired a new ring
of self-confident vivacity.
“You’re a little late, Mally,” remarked Anna, quietly,
as she returned to the room. “Shall I make tea?”
57“Oh, yes, do; there’s a dear. Oh, such fun as we’ve
been having at the Allens’! But I’m so chilly and damp,
you know; and just look, Anna, at the ribbons on my
hat.” Mally held up to view a pretentious structure of
ribbon and velvet which had plainly suffered many things
of the elements.
“Too bad. I hope you won’t go out again to-night,
your cold was so bad yesterday. It is a wretched night.”
“Oh, I must go out, my dear—must indeed!
Couldn’t disappoint the girls, you know.”
“Nor even the boys?” asked Anna smiling.
Mally laughed at this, evidently pleased. In a few
moments she was ready and they took their places at
the tea-table, Mally quieting herself with an effort, in
order to ask a brief blessing upon the meal. It was
her turn to-night. The two coöperated in their religious
exercises of a general character, as well as in their
housekeeping.
Destiny, so eagerly challenged by these two village
girls in the eventless isolation of their life in Haran,
seemed at last to have declared itself decisively: both
were to catch men,—Anna in the apostolic sense, Mally
in a different one.
Anna’s journey to Boston, three months earlier, had
been successful. She had returned under appointment
as a missionary to India; but being still too young to go
out, the Board had advised her to spend the following
two years in studies especially designed to develop her
usefulness in work among the heathen. In January
Samuel Mallison had died. The parsonage, where the
children had been born and nurtured, could thus no
longer be their home. It must be made ready now for a
successor.
58It had been a sorrowful breaking up, and when the
melancholy work was done, and the home effaced forever,
the mother, patient and uncomplaining, departed
with Lucia to the lonely farmhouse among the hills, to
take on again, in her later years of life, the many cares
of tending little children. It was then that Anna,
accompanied by her friend Mally, had come to Burlington
with the purpose of studying at a collegiate institute,
which offered opportunity for more advanced study than
could be had in Haran. Anna was hard at work every
morning on Paley’s “Evidences” and Butler’s “Analogy,”
while her afternoons were spent in the small hospital of
the town, in an informal nurses’ class, as it was even
then considered a useful thing for missionaries to go out
with some equipment for healing the bodies of men as
well as their souls. Mally, by her own account, was
“taking” music, painting, and French.
As they sat at their little table now, with its meagre
and humble fare, but its indefinable expression of refinement,
Anna and Mally were in striking contrast.
It has been said before that Anna matured slowly.
There was still in her face, despite its sadness, the grave
wonder, the artless simplicity, and the sweet unconsciousness
of a child. Her figure was angular and undeveloped;
her black dress, absolutely, harshly plain, and of coarse
stuff; her face, far too thin and colourless for beauty.
She was, plainly, underfed and overworked; but there
was, nevertheless, a dignity and a distinction in her
aspect which emphasized Mally’s provincialness, notwithstanding
the little fashionable touches about dress
and coiffure which the latter had swiftly and instinctively
adapted to her own use.
Anna had the repose of a person who is not concerned
59at all as to the impression she makes, or desirous
of making any personal impression whatever. Mally
had the restlessness, the vivacity, the eagerness, of a
woman who wishes everywhere and at every time to
make herself felt, to be the central figure. She was
born an egotist, and even “divine grace,” in the devotional
phraseology of that time, had not been sufficient to
overcome her natural bent. At the present time, in fact,
egotism was having comparatively easy work with her,
and an indefinite truce with the religious conflicts of earlier
days had been tacitly declared. That spiritual experience
had been sincere, and it had lasted several years.
Fortunately, to Mally’s unspoken thought, she had been
favoured during those years to work out her salvation,
which was now, according to a prime doctrine of the
church, secured to her against all accidents. This being
so, no one need be concerned for her; and if she were
herself satisfied with a low spiritual attainment, it was
nobody’s business but her own.
She had, to her own naïve surprise, met with a marked
degree of social success in a certain middle-class stratum
of the small town. She was pretty, clever, adaptive; the
young men and women of her set said she was “such
good company.” This was high praise. In Haran the
natural order for a marriageable girl was to be soberly
and decorously and protractedly wooed by one young
man, to whom, in process of time, she was married.
Here Mally found a far more stimulating social condition.
Not one man, but many, might be the portion of
a popular girl, and Mally found the strength of numbers
very great. The sex instinct, the ruling desire to attract
men, sprang into vigorous action, and became, for a time
at least, predominant. Women of whom this is true
60are often very good women, with energy and common
sense, but it is important for their friends, for various
reasons, to hold the master key to their character.
Anna Mallison, at this period of her life as sexless in
her conscious life as a star, looked on at this rapid and
unlooked-for development of Mally’s nature in infinite
perplexity. She had always liked certain men, even outside
her own kindred, but it was because they were wise
or good or sincere, not because they were men. A thirst
for admiration being thus far undeclared in her own life,
Mally became inexplicable to her; she did not hold the
key to her character, and involuntarily she withdrew
more and more into herself, her only friend becoming
thus uncomprehended. If she felt this in any degree,
Mally, being closely occupied with more tangible consideration,
paid small heed to it.
While they were taking tea, Anna kept her eyes fixed
on the mantel clock, and, having eaten hastily, rose from
her place.
“What is the matter?” asked Mally, looking up.
“Oh, of course; but, dear me, Anna, I never would bother
to get things ready for old Marm Wilson, after the way
she grumbles at you. Sit down, do. You’ll never get
any thanks, I can tell you that; and what’s the use?”
Anna was at the door already. “I think it’s late
enough now to be safe. She only grumbles, you know,
if the oil and wood burn out awhile before she gets here.
She was to work quite near on Hill Street, to-day, so she
will surely be in early.”
“Oh, well, go on if you’ve a mind to. I suppose it
is forlorn on a night like this for the poor old creature to
find her house all dark and cold,” Mally spoke carelessly,
half to herself. Anna was already half-way downstairs.
61Mrs. Wilson was their houseowner, a seamstress of
narrow means and narrower life whose upper rooms they
rented.
An hour later the upper sitting room was suddenly
enlivened and almost filled, as far as seating capacity was
concerned, by a group of Mally’s friends, who had come
to escort her to an evening gathering. These young
men and maidens, whom Anna had scarcely seen before,
seemed to explain the new Mally to her, and to place
her at a different angle, as one of a class, not one by herself.
The girls all wore a profusion of ribbons and
curls, and were all in an effervescence of noisy excitement
regarding the effect of the dampness on their hair
and their finery; they whispered and giggled together,
and pouted at the young men, or tossed their heads and
assumed exaggerated airs of being shocked at the personal
remarks which these attendants volunteered, and
with which they were, in fact, palpably delighted.
Anna, who attempted some quiet civilities from time
to time, was regarded with undisguised indifference, as
not being “one of the set.”
After the young people had left the house, however,
Mally’s companion on their expedition, a young man
somewhat above the others in intelligence, said to her:—
“What an unusual girl that friend of yours, that Miss
Mallison, is. I never met any one just like her. She
strikes me as a girl who would keep a fellow at a mighty
distance; but if she ever did care for him, he wouldn’t
mind dying for her, you know, and all that sort of thing.
But she isn’t one of the kind you like to play games
with.”
62
She was a queen of noble Nature’s crowning,
A smile of hers was like an act of grace;
She had no winsome looks, no pretty frowning,
Like daily beauties of the vulgar race;
But, if she smiled, a light was on her face,
A clear, cool kindliness, a lunar beam
Of peaceful radiance.
—Hartley Coleridge.
To the surprise of both the friends, Anna, who had
gone about her rigorous tasks unseen and unnoted hitherto,
began about this time to come into a certain comparative
prominence in the quiet little city.
A day or two after the evening described in the last
chapter, Anna received a note from Mrs. Ingraham, the
wife of a distinguished citizen of the town, a man of
great wealth, and a well-known senator. The Ingrahams
were, perhaps, the most highly placed family in
the little town, by right of distinguished antecedents, of
wealth, and of habit of life. They belonged to that
singularly privileged class, which Anna Mallison had
not hitherto encountered, who have both will and
power to appropriate the most select of all things which
minister to the individual development, whether things
material, things intellectual, or things spiritual. Thus
Mrs. Ingraham and her daughters were women of fashion,
prominent figures at the state functions of their
own state, and well known in the inner circles of
Washington society. They dressed superlatively well
in clothes that came from Paris. At the same time
63they were as much at home among literary as among
fashionable folk, and Mrs. Ingraham at least was understood
to be devotedly religious, with an especial penchant
for foreign missions. In fine, all things were
theirs.
Thus it was an event for Anna Mallison, in her dull,
low-ceiled upper room, to open and read the note of
Mrs. Senator Ingraham to herself,—a note written in
graceful, flowing hand, on sumptuous, ivorylike paper,
squarely folded, with a crest on the seal, and the faintest
suggestion of violets escaping almost before perceived.
The note was delicately courteous, a marvel of gracious
tact. Mrs. Ingraham had heard through a friend that
Miss Mallison was under appointment as a missionary to
India, and had sincerely wished to meet her. On Friday
evening a dear Christian worker from Boston, now
her guest, was to hold a little parlour meeting at the
house for the help and encouragement of friends who
were interested in a higher Christian life. Would not
Miss Mallison give them all the pleasure of making one
of that number? Mrs. Ingraham would esteem it a
personal favour; and if Miss Mallison felt that she
could tell the little company something of the experience
she had had in being led into this beautiful life work,
it would be most acceptable. However, this
was by no means urged, but merely suggested and left
entirely to Miss Mallison’s preference.
The man who had brought the note waited on the
narrow walk below for Anna’s answer. He wore a
sober but handsome livery.
This was the first invitation of the kind which Anna
had received, but she had now somewhat accustomed
herself, by the advice of the Board, to speaking in
64women’s missionary meetings, and it seemed to her
right to say yes. Accordingly, on untinted note-paper
of a very common grade, she said yes in a natural and
simple way, and made haste to give the note to the
man at the door below, whom she felt distressed to keep
waiting.
This man removed his shining hat in respectful
acknowledgment as he took the note, and told Anna
that Mrs. Ingraham had asked him to say, having forgotten
to mention it in her note, that in case Miss
Mallison would be so kind as to come, Mrs. Ingraham
would send the carriage for her at half-past seven on
Friday evening.
Anna felt that she ought to deprecate so much attention,
and timidly attempted to do so; but the man plainly
was not further empowered to treat in the matter, and,
bowing respectfully, departed with Anna’s pallid, long
and narrow envelope in his well-gloved hand.
When Mally came in, Anna handed her Mrs. Ingraham’s
note. Mally’s face flushed noticeably as she read
it. It was not easy for her to have her quiet friend thus
preferred.
“You’ll go, of course?” she commented rather coldly,
as she handed it back.
“Yes.”
“I should think you would by all means. Who
wouldn’t? I’ve heard lots about Mrs. Ingraham; she
believes in a very high religious life, you know, and those
rich higher-life people live high, I can tell you. There’ll
be a supper, depend on that, and it will be a fine one.”
“Oh, I don’t think there will be anything of that
kind,” interposed Anna, hastily.
“You see!” cried Mally, with an air of superior
65wisdom and wide social experience. “Oh my! if I
should tell you all I’ve heard about those Ingrahams,
you’d be surprised. One night they have a prayer-meeting
and the next night a dance. It’s all right, I
suppose. Kind of new, that’s all.”
On the following evening, when the luxurious Ingraham
carriage was driven up before Mrs. Wilson’s poor
little house, many eyes peered narrowly from neighbours’
windows to catch the unwonted sight; and Anna, slipping
hastily out of the Wilson door, felt an access of
humility in this exaltation of herself, for such she knew
it seemed to her neighbours, transient though it was.
She had suffered a guilty and apologetic consciousness
all day toward Mally, who had treated her with a
slight coolness and indifference, which afflicted Anna
keenly.
When Anna entered the hall of the Ingraham house,
a small, stout woman, in a brown dress and smooth hair,
came out to greet her, and took her hand between both
her own, which were white and soft and heavily weighted
with diamonds. Anna found the diamonds confusing,
but she knew the hands were kind. Mrs. Ingraham’s
manner, of sincere kindliness and dignity, put Anna
wholly at her ease, and she looked about her, presently,
at the subdued luxury and elegance of her surroundings
with a frank, childlike pleasure. Her absolute unconsciousness
of herself saved Anna from the awkwardness
which her unusual height, her angular thinness, and her
unaccustomedness to social contact might otherwise have
produced. She wore her “other dress,” which was of
plain black poplin, but quite new, and not ungraceful in
its straight untortured lines; and as she entered the great
drawing-room, with its splendours of costly art, and met
66the eyes of many people who were watching her entrance,
the quiet gravity and simplicity of her bearing were hardly
less than grace.
Two women, dressed with elegance and apparently
not deeply touched with religiousness, commented apart
a little later, having met and spoken in turn with the
lady from Boston and the young missionary elect.
“What do you think of Mrs. Ingraham’s new saints?”
asked one, whose black dress was heavily studded with
jet ornaments.
“I like the young missionary better than the Bostonian,
myself,” was the reply. The speaker had red
hair and an exquisite figure. “Isn’t she curious, though?”
she continued. “Manners, you know, but absolutely no
manner! I never encountered a woman before, even at
her age, who positively had none.”
“That is what ails her, isn’t it?” returned her beaded
friend. “You’ve just hit it. And you can see that
tremendously developed missionary conscience of hers
in every line of her face and figure, don’t you know you
can?”
“Figure, my dear? She has none. I never saw
such an utter absence of the superfluous!”
Here they both laughed clandestinely behind their
laced handkerchiefs.
“Do you know how I should describe that girl?”
challenged the Titian beauty, recovering.
“Cleverly, without doubt.”
“I should call her a scaffolding over a conscience.”
“That is really very good, Evelyn. You can see
that she is not even consciously a woman yet. She
knows nothing of life or of herself or of this goodly
frame, the earth, save what that New England conscience
67of hers has interpreted to her. Her horizon is
as narrow as her chest.”
“Poor thing. How will she bear life, I wonder!”
and the words died into a whisper, for at that moment
the little talking, moving groups of men and women
were called to take the chairs, which had been arranged
in comfortable order, and give attention to what was to
follow.
68
When the soul, growing clearer,
Sees God no nearer;
When the soul, mounting higher,
To God comes no nigher;
But the arch-fiend Pride
Mounts at her side,
And, when she fain would soar,
Makes idols to adore,
Changing the pure emotion
Of her high devotion
To a skin-deep sense
Of her own eloquence;
Strong to deceive, strong to enslave—
Save, oh! save.
—Matthew Arnold.
Anna was the first to speak. When she rose and
faced the little audience, made up of fashionable women,
professional men, and a sprinkling of the more clearly
defined religious “workers”, she did not feel the coldness
underlying their courteous attention. The Titian beauty
fixed upon her eyes full of unconsciously patronizing
kindness, and Mrs. Ingraham smiled at her with sympathetic
encouragement, but they might have spared themselves
the effort. Anna did not perceive or consider
these things. She was not thinking of them at all, nor
of herself.
The peculiar twofold consecration which rested upon
her spirit in regard to her missionary vocation, as a call
to fulfil at once the Divine Will and the will of her
father, was so profound and so solemn as to remove
69her from personal and passing cares. She would not
herself have chosen to appear before these people and to
speak to them of her supreme interest; but to do so had
been laid upon her as duty, and Anna’s conception of
duty, by reason of the “tremendously developed conscience”
which the worldly-wise women had discerned
in her, was of something to be done. She did this duty
with the simple directness of a soldier under command.
She stood erect and motionless, with no nervous working
of hands or trembling of lips, and spoke in a clear,
low voice, in which alone, by reason of a peculiar vibrant
pathos, the profound, undeclared passion of her nature
was suggested.
Her critics of the early evening had been right in finding
her destitute of manner. There was no slightest
evidence as she spoke of the orator’s instinct—the
magnetism of kindling eye and changing expression, of
the conciliation and subtle flattery of her hearers. Neither
had she fervid personal raptures nor spiritual triumphs
to communicate. Of the picturesque and pathetic
elements of the situation she made no use whatever.
She had simply an absolute, dominating conviction that
the heathen were lost; that they could only be saved by
the knowledge of Christ; that this knowledge must be
conveyed to them by the disciples of Christ at his command;
and that she, Anna Mallison, was humbly grateful
that she was permitted to devote herself to a service so
obviously necessary. Of these things she spoke; of the
sacred sense of living out her father’s disappointed life
she naturally could not speak.
It was not the speech which Mrs. Ingraham and her
guests had expected. They had looked to have their
sympathies aroused by a pathetic recital of sacrifice and
70exalted self-devotion. Anna, on the contrary, was unconscious
of sacrifice, and felt herself simply grateful for
the privilege of carrying out her innermost desires.
The people who heard her felt that to give up “the
world” was a mighty thing. Anna did not yet know
what “the world” was. To their anticipation, she had
been a figure almost as romantic and moving as a young
novitiate about to take conventual vows; to herself, she
was an enlisted soldier who has received marching orders,
and whose heart exults soberly, since there are ties which
may be broken, and death, perhaps, awaiting, but even
so exults with joyful response.
Thus, to most of those who heard her, Anna’s little
speech was a distinct disappointment; the very loftiness
of her conception of her calling made it featureless, and
robbed it of adaptation to easy emotional effect. The
ladies who had discussed her before her speech found,
after it, that it was, after all, exactly what might have
been expected—altogether of a piece with the austerity
of her figure, and her sad, colourless face, no warmth,
no emotion—just the hard Puritan conscience at its
hardest.
There were two or three only who felt the spiritual
elevation belonging to the girl and to what she said, and
the underlying pathos of her high restraint, as too great
to put into the conventional phrases of sympathy and
praise, and so kept silence.
There was a brief pause after Anna returned to her
seat, during which people stirred and spoke in low tones,
and the beaded lady leaned over and thanked Anna for
her “charming little talk”. Then Mrs. Westervelt, the
guest from Boston came forward and began speaking
with a winning smile, a gentle, soothing voice, and an
71affectionate reference to “the dear, sweet young sister.”
She had the ease and flexibility of the practised public
speaker; the winning and dimpled smile with which she
won the company at the start was in frequent use, and
she made constant motions with a pair of very white
hands. She was quietly dressed, and yet, after the
straightness of Anna’s poor best gown, her attire had
its own air of handsome comfort. The perfect command
of her voice and of herself established instantaneously
a rapport with her audience, of which Anna, in her
inexperience, had never dreamed.
Her beloved Mrs. Ingraham, she said, had asked her
to tell the dear friends of some wonderful answers to
prayer which she had recently experienced, but before
doing this she craved the privilege of reading a few
verses of Scripture.
She then read certain passages from the prophecy of
Zechariah, detached from one another, taken entirely
from their historic setting, but fitted together with some
care. The speaker explained that she had, in her earlier
Christian life, found some difficulty in interpreting this
rather obscure passage, but in the new life of complete
sanctification, into which it had been her glorious privilege
to enter, she had come to see all Scripture by a
new and marvellous light. No longer did she trust to
the dry and formal explanations of scholars, many of
whom, it was but too well known, had never had the
deep things of God revealed to them, and who had been
led into many errors by their pride of learning. All
that kind of study was past for her, for the dear Lord
himself showed her, when she lifted her heart to him,
just what he meant in his blessed word. This had been
her experience in regard to the passage just read. To
72the natural mind there were difficulties in it, but just
below the surface was the great precious truth which
God would have all his children receive. It had been
given her that when she came to the beautiful home of
Mrs. Ingraham, and should be called upon to speak to
these friends, she must bring them this particular passage.
But it had looked dark to her, and she was in
doubt how to interpret it. But as she had been in the
cars, coming up from Boston, she had said: “Now, Lord,
those dear friends in Burlington will want to know just
what you meant by that sweet portion of your word,
and I do not feel that I can tell them unless you enlighten
me. What is it that is intended by the two
staves in the hand of the prophet, one called Beauty and
one called Bands?”
Then the dear Lord had sweetly spoken in the secret
place of her heart, as distinctly as if with an audible
voice: “My child, the old life of formalism, of coldness,
and of worldly pleasure in which many Christians
live is the staff called Bands. The higher life, the life
of answered prayer, the life of perfect sanctification and
fulness of blessing, is Beauty. Take this message to
my dear children in Burlington.”
Oh, how simple! Oh, how sweet! Who would weary
heart and brain over the interpretations of rationalistic
German commentators, when we could thus have the
direct interpretation of his own word by the Lord himself?
Thus Mrs. Westervelt proceeded at some length on
this line, and then, with tearful eyes and an added intensity
of the personal element, she rehearsed the answers
to prayer which her friend, Mrs. Ingraham, had rightly
called wonderful. Thus, in carrying on the work of
preaching perfect sanctification in Boston, a room had
73been needed for meetings. Two or three of the little
band had prayed, and within a week they had had a most
suitable room offered them by a precious sister, but it was
unfurnished. The details of securing the equipment of
this room were now described. Each piece of furniture,
the speaker declared, had been directly given in answer
to special prayer and by a marvellous interposition. If
any natural means had been at work by which persons
in sympathy with their efforts were led to supply their
obvious needs, these were not mentioned. Plainly it
was Mrs. Westervelt’s conception of a perfect relation
to God that the one sustaining it should receive constant
miraculous testimony of the divine favour. The privilege
of attaining this condition was presented with fervid
emphasis. It was the high and perfect life! Who
would live on the old plane when this was what God
had for them? Oh, how beautiful it was to trust!
Why should we ever doubt, when we were so plainly
told that whatsoever we ask we shall receive?
As Mrs. Westervelt went on, many of her hearers
were moved to tears, and a continuous response of sympathetic
looks and subdued exclamations followed her
recital of her surprising experiences. The wealthy
women present felt that this was certainly a fine thing
for those who could not get what they wanted by ordinary
business methods, but were, perhaps, secretly glad
that they were not themselves called upon to test their
relation to God quite so pointedly. The poorer and
humbler guests wept profusely, thinking how long they
had stumbled on in the dull and inferior practice of
working painfully for many needed things, which might
all have been miraculously given them, if they had only
been favourites of God, like Mrs. Westervelt, or, as she
74would have said, “had only just stepped out into the
fulness.”
Anna Mallison sat and listened in unspeakable astonishment.
This was as absolutely new a gospel to her as the
gospel of Christ to a disciple of Buddha. It was her
first contact with sentimental religion.
The God of her father had been the immutable and
eternal Creator, the high and holy One inhabiting eternity,
the Judge of all the earth. Through the Incarnation
the just anger of this Holy Being toward sinful men
had been appeased. But although in Christ there had
been found access to God and an Intercessor, never had
it entered into the heart of Samuel Mallison or those
whom he led to regard themselves as occupying a position
other than of deepest humility, self-distrust, awe,
and reverence.
Mrs. Westervelt’s phraseology was almost like a foreign
tongue to Anna. The constant use of terms of
familiar endearment in speaking of the Almighty; the
application of affectionate and flattering adjectives on all
sides; the sense of a peculiar and intimate relation established
between herself and God; and the free-and-easy
conversational, in fact, rather colloquial, style in which
she held herself privileged to communicate with him,—were
almost amazing to her. And beneath all these
superficial marks of a new cult, lay the deeper sense
of the inherent disparity. Religion to Anna had been,
it has been said earlier, a system of prohibitions, of self-denials,
of self-abasement, with only at rare intervals the
illumination of a profound sense of the love of God.
Here was a religion which held up a species of luxurious
spiritual enjoyment, of unrestrained freedom in approaching
75God, of an indubitable sense of being personally on
the best of terms with him, as the privilege of all true
believers.
The conception of prayer which Mrs. Westervelt had
demonstrated was not less surprising to Anna. She knew
that there were wide and sweeping scriptural promises
with regard to prayer, but she had always felt a deep
mystery attaching itself to them. For herself, she had
never ventured to intrude her temporal gratifications and
designs upon the attention of her God, but had rather
felt a sober silence regarding these things to best befit a
sinful creature coming before a holy Creator. Half revolting,
but half smitten with compunction, the thought
now flashed through her mind that, if she had only prayed
after this new sort, her father might have received the
oranges for which he had sorely longed in the months
before his death. This luxury was not to be obtained
in Haran, and had therefore been patiently foregone,
heaven and Burlington having seemed equally inaccessible
at the time.
Mrs. Westervelt sat down, and the meeting broke up,
a swarm of enthusiastic, tearful women rushing to surround
her and pour out their effusive appreciation of her
wonderful address. Anna stood bewildered and alone,
doubting within herself. Had it all been the highest
consecration, as it undoubtedly desired to be? or had it
been the highest presumption, the old temptation of
spiritual pride, assuming a new guise?
Two clergymen of the city, who had been attentive
listeners during the whole evening, not being moved to
pour out their admiration upon either speaker, quietly
strayed across the hall into Mr. Ingraham’s library.
The senator himself was absent.
76“Well, Nichols,” said Dr. Harvey, the older man,
who had a shrewd, kindly, smooth-shaven face, “what
do you think of that for Old Testament exegesis?”
“It was pretty stiff to have the responsibility for it
given to the Lord,” returned his friend. “I almost felt
like interrupting her to say that, with all due respect, the
Lord never told her any such thing, her interpretation
being monstrously untrue.”
“It was awful, simply awful,” said the other, with slow
emphasis. “Such fantastic tricks before high heaven
might make men, as well as angels, weep. And then
her familiarity with the Lord, Nichols,—why, man, she
positively patronized the Almighty!”
“It is true, and yet, do you know, Doctor, that woman
has some extraordinary elements for success in such
work?”
“If she hadn’t, she would be of no importance, my
dear fellow. She has a fine homiletic instinct. That is
just where the danger lies. But, after all, she represents
only one danger—there are others. She is simply the
modern mystic—a kind of latter-day, diluted Madame
Guyon. Too much of the thing is a trifle nauseous,
perhaps, but it represents the revolt of devout souls, in
every age, from formalism, and is inevitably an excess,
like all revolt. Doubtless there will be such revolt,
world without end, and it will have its uses.”
“It was fairly pathetic to see how eagerly those
women rushed forward to receive her; evidently that’s
the message they are pining for. They don’t go for us
that way, Doctor.”
“No; and they didn’t for that first speaker, Mallison’s
daughter. I knew him. Poor man, what a mystic he
might have made, if he had let himself go! This girl is
77much like him—the old New England type; religion
with all colour and sentiment clean purged out of it.
Cold as ice, chaste as snow, the antipodes of the
Guyon-Westervelt danger. Talk of holiness,—poor
Mallison,—he was the holiest man I ever knew, and in
this life the least rewarded,” and the old clergyman
shook his head with a mournful smile.
“I fancied, when I heard her speak, although I had
no idea who she was, that this daughter of his had not
exactly revelled in the luxury of religion.”
“No; but I tell you, Nichols, she is none the worse
for that, at her age. There is a hardihood, an unconscious,
sturdy fortitude in that earlier type, which we
mightily need in the world to-day. To me, that girl
was positively beautiful, because—notice what I say,
Nichols—she is absolutely true.”
“Very likely.”
“Yes; but when you have thought it over, tell me,
some day, how many men and women you know of
whom you can say that. If you know one, you will do
well.”
Dr. Harvey, as he said these words, rose to leave the
library, but stopped and stood, as there appeared at that
moment at the hall door the figure of a man who was
apparently passing through the hall. So silent and so
sudden was his coming, and so singular his aspect, that
the younger of the two men, perceiving him, started violently
in involuntary surprise, and was conscious of a
disagreeable sensation along the course of his veins.
This man, who had approached the door with noiseless
steps, might have been young, or might have been
old. He was of unusual height, with narrow shoulders,
short body, and disproportionate length of limb. His
78face, an elongated oval, was of as smooth surface as that
of a woman, and of the shape and pale even colour of an
egg. The enormous forehead, the eyes, small and narrow,
set wide apart and obliquely, the flattened nose, the
straight, wide, almost lipless mouth, combined with an
expression of crafty complacence to give the man a singularly
alien semblance. As he stood, he smiled slowly,
a smile which emphasized both the craftiness and the
complacency of his expression, and remarked in a high,
thin voice:—
“Just going, Doctor? Make yourself at home here,
that’s all right.”
He carried a rather large, morocco-bound note-book
in one hand, and a silver pencil-case in the other. His
hands were extremely delicate and white, with sinuous,
flexible fingers, of such phenomenal length as to suggest
an extra, simian joint. They conveyed to the young
clergyman a sense of expressing the same craft as the
face, and a yet more palpable cruelty. The unpleasant
impression became more pronounced, for, seeing the
hands, young Nichols involuntarily shivered.
Probably this fact was not noticed by the newcomer,
but, having thus spoken and smiling one more chilling
smile, he passed on to the other end of the hall.
Eyes rather than voice asked in astonishment, “Who
is that?”
“Oliver Ingraham, the senator’s son,” was the elder
clergyman’s reply, as they left the library together, “the
son of his first wife.” Dr. Harvey was Mrs. Ingraham’s
pastor.
“Incredible!” cried the other, under his breath. “I
never saw him, never heard of his existence.”
The other shook his head with gravely troubled look.
79“He is only here when it becomes impossible to keep
him elsewhere.”
“Is he insane? imbecile? what is he?”
“Not the first, not the second. I cannot answer the
third question.”
80
She sitteth in a silence of her own;
Behind her, on the ground, a red rose lies;
Her thinking brow is bent, nor doth arise
Her gaze from that shut book whose word unknown
Her firm hands hide from her; there all alone
She sitteth in thought trouble, maidenwise.
—R. W. Gilder.
An October morning, and breakfast-time in the Ingraham
household. Great doors stood open into the
dining room, where the vast round table could be seen
with its glittering array of silver, and the grace and
colour of exquisite flowers.
A slender girl, as graceful and charming in her simple
morning dress as the flowers she had just placed on the
table, stood in the doorway, waiting, a shade of impatience
on her face. Behind her, at one of the dining-room
windows, stood Oliver Ingraham, her half-brother.
Mrs. Ingraham, with her other daughters, one older, one
younger, were in the adjoining library. Outside, in the
hall, a man paced up and down with impatience which
he did not attempt to conceal. This was Mr. Ingraham
himself, a man of good height, fine, erect figure,
and youthful energy of motion and bearing. His hair
was grey, as also his heavy mustache and imperial;
his eyes grey also, keen, clear, but inclined to wander
with disconcerting swiftness; he had a high, beaklike
nose, and a fine, carefully kept skin, in which a network
of dark red veins betrayed the high liver. He was at
81once peremptory and gracious, military and courtly, a
man of the world and of affairs on a large scale.
With watch in hand he entered the library and approached
his wife.
“Cornelia,” he said, smiling with good-tempered sarcasm,
“does it strike you that the show is a little late in
opening? I dislike to mention it, but it is already ten
minutes past eight. I am not familiar with the social
customs of Abyssinia, nor even of Macedonia, but in
the United States it is considered good form for guests,
albeit lions, to come to breakfast on time. Even the
Hyrcan tiger, I understand, is usually prompt in his
attendance on that function—”
“Papa!” cried his youngest daughter, Louise, “you
are perfectly dreadful.”
Mrs. Ingraham looked up into her husband’s face
with her mild, conciliating smile.
“I am so sorry, Justin,” she said softly, “but I suppose
the poor dear creatures are very tired after the
meeting last night, and their journey, and all—”
There was a slight noise on the stairs as she spoke,
and Mr. Ingraham faced about with military precision to
receive in succession a number of ladies, who filed into
the room, and were warmly greeted and promptly presented
to him by his wife. Two were visitors from
New York, substantial “Board women”; other two,
returned missionaries from Japan; the last to enter was
a shy, brown little person with soft dark eyes, a native
Hindu, who could only communicate with her host by
a gentle, pleading smile. All were in attendance on
a great missionary conference held in Burlington that
week, drawing its supporters from all New England
and New York.
82“Shall we go to breakfast, Cornelia?” Mr. Ingraham
asked, having infused sudden courage into the trembling
breast of the little native by his gallant attention. “Are
we all here?”
“Why, no, papa,” interposed his youngest daughter;
“we must wait for Mr. Burgess.”
“Mr. Burgess?” repeated her father, in a musing
tone. “I do not recall that I have met him. Is the
gentleman an invalid?”
“At least the gentleman is here, papa,” murmured
Louise, directing his attention to a young man who at
the moment entered the room, and approached Mrs.
Ingraham with a few words of courteous apology.
Meeting him, Mr. Ingraham saw a slender, youthful
figure, somewhat below the average of masculine height,
a man of delicate physique, perhaps five and twenty
years old, with a serious, sensitive face, and earnest blue
eyes looking out through glasses; a young man who
presented himself with quiet self-possession, and bore
the unmistakable marks of good breeding.
As they took their places around the breakfast table,
Keith Burgess, for this was the young man’s name,
found himself seated opposite Oliver, with whom he
was not drawn to converse, and between the second
Miss Ingraham and the little Aroona-bia. Conversation
with the latter being necessarily of an extremely limited
nature, her gentle lisping of “yes” and “thank you”
being somewhat indiscriminate, the guest found himself
shortly occupied exclusively with his very pretty neighbour.
“You know, Mr. Burgess,” she was presently saying,
“I almost feel that I know you already.”
“How so?” asked Keith, simply. It was plain that,
83although accustomed to the refinements of life, this was
not a man accomplished in social subtleties. There
was, in fact, a curiously unworldly expression in the
young fellow’s eyes, and somewhat of thoughtful introspection.
“Why, you see mamma and some of her friends who
heard you speak last spring have told us so much about
you.”
Keith bowed slightly, without reply.
“And you can’t think, Mr. Burgess, how delighted
we are to have you come to Burlington. We were so
afraid you would leave for the East before we could
hear you, and I assure you that would have been a great
disappointment. I think you sail in the spring, do you
not?”
“Yes, in May, as soon as I graduate.”
“And it is for India?”
“I suppose so. It is not fully determined, but that
would be my choice, and I believe the Board incline
that way.”
The pretty Miss Ingraham, whose name was Gertrude,
sighed a very little.
“It is all so wonderful, so almost incredible, to me
that any one young and like other people, don’t you
know? can really go,” she said gently. “There are
people to whom it seems perfectly natural. Mamma
has a new protégée who is to go out as a missionary
teacher a year from this fall. She is very young, only
twenty-one, and we all think she is lovely; but still, for
her it seems really the only thing to be expected. She
has the genuine missionary air already, and you would
know she could not be anything else, somehow.”
Keith looked civilly, but not keenly, interested.
84“I wonder if it is any one I have heard of,” he remarked.
“It is our Board that sends her?”
“Yes. Her name is Mallison, Anna Mallison. Her
father was a country minister up in the mountainous
part of the state. Poor thing! She will find India
quite a change after Vermont winters, I should think.”
“An improvement, perhaps,” said Keith, smiling.
“But really, Miss Ingraham, going back to what you
said a moment ago, why should it seem so incredible for
a man who has devoted himself to the service of God,
truly and unreservedly, to be willing to go where what
little he can do is most needed? Many men go to foreign
countries and remain the better part of their lives
for business purposes: men in the navy; Englishmen,
of course, of social and political ambitions, by hundreds.
Do you ever feel that there is anything extraordinary or
superhuman in what they do?”
Gertrude Ingraham was looking at the young man
with almost devout attention.
“No,” she answered, shaking her head with pretty
humility, seeing which way he led.
“Then why,” pursued Keith Burgess, leaning over to
look steadily in her face with his earnest eyes, and lowering
his voice to a deeper emphasis, “why do you
wonder that now and then a man should be willing to
do for the Lord Jesus Christ and the salvation of souls
what a hundred men do as a matter of course for their
own selfish ambition and the gaining of money?”
The girl looked down, the brightness of her face softened
by serious feeling.
“The only wonder, Miss Ingraham, is that so few
do it. For my own part I do not see how a fellow
who goes into the ministry, as things are now, can do
85anything else,” and Keith turned back to his neglected
breakfast. Thereafter he was drawn into conversation,
across the mute languor of the little Hindu, with his
host, who had questions to ask regarding Fulham, which
had been his college.
At four o’clock that afternoon, Keith Burgess, sitting
in a large congregation in Dr. Harvey’s stately church,
listening with consciously declining interest to a long
statistical report which was being read from the pulpit,
felt himself touched on the shoulder. Looking up he
saw the Rev. Frank Nichols, pastor of a mission church
in the city. He had known him well in college, a clear-eyed,
well set-up young cleric. Nichols invited him by
a word and look to follow him, and together they quietly
left the assembly.
When they had reached the street and the crisp
autumn air, Keith shook himself with a motion of
relief.
“Is there anything more tiresome than such a succession
of meetings?” he exclaimed. “Shall we walk?
I am in a hurry to climb one of these hills.”
“We must do it later,” returned Nichols; “but if
you are not too tired I want to take you down this
street and on a block or two to my church. The
women are having a meeting there this afternoon.”
“Oh, yes, I remember; but will it be in order for
us to intrude?”
“Yes, that will be all right. The brethren drop in
quietly now and then, and are welcome. You needn’t
stay long, for you are tired, I know by your face; but I
tell you what it is, Burgess, I want you to hear Anna
Mallison.”
Anna Mallison! again that name which he had heard
86in the morning. It began to have a strangely musical
quality to Keith’s ears.
“I have heard her name. She is under appointment,
I believe. A good speaker?”
“No, not a particularly good speaker, but, as Dr.
Harvey once said to me, an absolutely true nature. She
is a young woman of strong personality, but singularly
destitute of the desire to impress herself, and with a certain
touch of the unconsciously heroic about her which
you feel but cannot describe. I have never met a girl
of precisely her type before, myself, and I am curious to
know what you will think of her.”
Entering the small, unpretentious church, Nichols and
his friend sat down in the first row of seats, next to the
central aisle. The room was nearly full; several women
were upon the platform, from which the pulpit had been
removed. One woman was speaking in a high-keyed,
plaintive voice.
It was not a stable or quiet audience; some were
leaving their seats, others coming in, many turning
their heads to catch glimpses of expected friends. Behind
the young men came in two girls who remained
standing close beside them in the aisle for a little space.
One of these girls had pretty, fair hair and peachy cheeks;
she was dressed in deep blue with touches of gilt cord
and buttons, giving a kind of coquettish military jauntiness
to her appearance. She wore a small round hat, of
dark blue, which set off her pretty hair charmingly. Her
manner was full of quick, eager animation; she smiled
much and whispered to her companion continually. This
companion stood motionless and unresponsive to the frequent
appeals made to her, a quiet face and figure, a dress
and bonnet of plain and unadorned black, ill suited to
87her youth; but it was her face and figure rather than
the other to which Keith Burgess found his attention
riveted. He knew intuitively, before Nichols told him,
that this was Anna Mallison; but without this knowledge
he felt that he must still have kept his eyes upon her
face. The repose of it, the purity and elevation of the
look, the serene, serious sweetness, were what he had
seen in the faces of angels men have dreamed of rather
than of women they have loved. But that she was
after all a woman, with a woman’s sensitiveness and
impressibility, he fancied was manifest when, having
perhaps felt his look resting thus intently on her face,
Anna turned and their eyes met in an instant’s direct,
uninterrupted gaze, whereupon a deep flush rose and
spread over the clear brown pallor of her face, and she
turned, and bent to speak to her friend, as if to cover a
slight confusion.
The friend was Mally Loveland, and she was finding
her position a particularly satisfactory one at the moment,
being aware that Mr. Nichols was so placed as to take
in the best points of her new fall costume in a side view.
It was for him, not for Anna, that she had been using so
much of nervous energy in the last few minutes.
A lady who had left the platform for the purpose now
came down the aisle, and, taking Anna Mallison by the
hand with a word of welcome, conducted her to the front
of the church. Mally, thus left alone, fluttered into a
place made for her, seeming to discover Mr. Nichols as
she turned, and smiling surprise and pleasure upon him.
Just before Anna began to address the gathering, while
a hymn was sung, Keith Burgess quietly made his way
to a seat near the front of the church, at the side of the
platform. He had excused himself to Nichols, who had
88then asked and obtained permission to sit beside Mally,
an incident productive of a vast amount of conscious and
fluttering delight on the part of that young lady.
The austerity of Anna Mallison’s religious life had,
under the influence of Mrs. Westervelt and her disciple,
Mrs. Ingraham, relaxed within a few months to a marked
degree. New conceptions of a relation of joyful assurance,
of conscious acceptance with God, had risen within
her, with the perception that religion was not exclusively
prohibition, and conscience its only energy. Something
of warmth and brightness had been infused into her chill,
colourless, outward life, furthermore, by the intercourse
with the Ingrahams which had followed her first visit.
She was still in a manner ice-bound in her interior life
and in her capacity for expression, but the ice was
beginning to yield and here and there to break up a
little.
Thus, in the manner with which she spoke on this
occasion, there was something of gentleness, and a less
uncompromising self-restraint than when she had first
spoken before an audience. She was still noticeably
reserved, still innocent of the orator’s arts, or of conscious
seeking to produce an effect; she still delivered
herself of her simple message as if it were a duty to be
discharged rather than an opportunity to be grasped.
But through the coldness of all this neutrality there
pierced now and then a ray of the radiant purity and
loftiness of the girl’s inner nature, and this time those
who heard her did not pity or patronize her in their
thoughts.
Keith Burgess watched her from the place he had
chosen. Her tall, meagre figure in its nunlike dress was
sharply outlined against a palely tinted window opposite,
89through which the October sun shone. She stood without
support of table or desk, her hands falling straight at
her sides, and looked directly at the people she addressed,
fearless, since burdened with the sense of immortal
destinies, not with a consciousness of herself. Keith
noted the hand which fell against the straight black folds
of her dress; its fine shape and delicate texture alone
expressed her ladyhood. She could not have been called
pretty, but her face thus seen in profile was almost beautiful,
the hollowness of the cheeks and the stringent
thinness of all the contours being less obvious.
But Keith Burgess was not occupied with Anna’s face
and figure to any serious degree. He knew instinctively
that she was of good birth and breeding; he saw that,
though severe and angular in person and manner, she
was womanly, noble, refined. He divined, as no one
could have failed to divine, the essential truth and purity
of her nature. From her simple, unfeigned utterance
he perceived the high earnestness and consecration with
which she was entering upon missionary labour. Perceiving
all those things, the young man looked and listened
with a sudden, momentous question taking swift shape
in his mind.
He remained until the close of the meeting and met
Anna, introducing himself, as he preferred doing. She
received his few expressions of satisfaction in hearing her
with scant response, and apparently with neither surprise
or gratification. He did not like her the less for
that.
The Ingrahams found Keith sober and preoccupied at
dinner that night, but, as he was to be chief speaker at
the evening session of the convention, they thought this
natural and in order. He was liked and was treated with
90especial consideration by them all, and even Mr. Ingraham
did him the honour of going to the church to hear
him speak. He had no sympathy with his wife’s penchant
for missions, but he thought Burgess was “a
nice little fellow,” and he wanted to see what kind of
a speech he could make.
The different members of the family and their guests
came home one after another late in the evening, and,
as they met, exchanged enthusiastic expressions concerning
the eloquence of Keith Burgess. Mrs. Ingraham and
the Board ladies thought the dear young man had a
wonderful gift; Aroona-bia smiled tenderly in assent;
the girls said he was simply perfect; and Mr. Ingraham
admitted that, when he had worked off some of his
“sophomoric effervescence,” he might make a good deal
of an orator, and added, under his breath, it was nothing
less than a crime to send a delicate, talented boy like that
to make food for those barbarians, whose souls weren’t
worth the sacrifice, even if he could save them, which he
couldn’t.
“Very true, dear,” rejoined his wife; “no man can
save another’s soul; he can only lead him to the dear
Lord’s feet.”
The senator bit short a sharp reply, and just then
Keith himself appeared, looking pale and exhausted,
deprecating wearily the praise they were eager to bestow
upon him, and begging to be excused if he withdrew at
once to his room.
As the sound of his footsteps was lost in the hall
above, Mrs. Ingraham said:—
“I am sorry Mr. Burgess was so tired. I invited
Anna Mallison to come here for the night, and I wanted
him to meet her. Mrs. Churchill has asked the opportunity
91for a little talk with Anna in the morning, and it
will be convenient for her to be here. It is so far to her
rooms, you know.”
“I should think the house was full already, mamma,”
remarked Gertrude Ingraham. “Where can we put
her?”
“Oh, she will not mind going up to the south room
in the third story, my dear. I told Jane to have it in
order.”
Just then Miss Ingraham came into the house and
Anna Mallison was with her.
92
The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
—The Rubaiyat.
In a few moments after he had reached his room
Keith Burgess heard a knock at his door. Opening it,
he found a neat, white-capped maid who bore a tray;
entering demurely, she placed it upon a small table, remarking
that Mrs. Ingraham thought he would need
refreshment. The tray held an exquisite china service
for one person, a pot of chocolate, and delicate rolls and
cakes.
“Miss Gertrude said I was to light your fire,” the
maid said, proceeding to remove the fender and strike a
match for the purpose.
“Very well,” replied Keith, walking to the other side
of the room. The night air was sharp, and he liked the
notion.
A moment later the maid withdrew, with the noiseless,
unobtrusive step and movement of the well-trained servant,
and Keith, when he turned, found the room already
enlivened by the firelight. The table was drawn
to a cosey corner on the hearth-rug, a deep cushioned
easy-chair beside it. The fragrant steam of the hot
chocolate rose invitingly, and as Keith threw himself
with a long sigh of comfort into the chair, he detected
another fragrance, and perceived, lying upon the plate,
93a single rose, and around the stem a slip of white paper.
On the paper, Keith found a few words written: “You
must let me thank you for the great uplift you have
given me to-night. Gertrude Ingraham.”
The young man, rising, put the flower in a clean
glass vase on his mantle, and the note in the inner compartment
of his writing-case, touching both with careful
gentleness. Then, returning to the fireside, he fell to
drinking and eating with cordial satisfaction in all this
creature comfort; but as he ate and drank and grew
warm, he was thinking steadily.
He was not minded to flatter himself unduly, but
what was he justified in inferring from Gertrude’s action
and from other small signs which he had seen? Simply,
that she liked him; honoured him above his due; probably
idealized him; possibly, if he sought her deeper
regard, might respond.
He liked her thoroughly. What man would not?
She was very pretty, and her beauty was enhanced by
faultless dress,—no small thing in itself. Her manners
were charming, with the charm of a sweet nature, aided
by the polish of high social intercourse; she had the
thousand little nameless, flattering graces of the woman,
who, old or young, instinctively knows how to put a
man at his best. Furthermore, Keith was not insensible
to the background against which this girl was set. The
aristocratic, powerful family connection, the magnificent
home, the wealth and grace and ease of life, the fine
manners and habits of thought and conduct belonging to
the Ingrahams, were not matters of naught to him. He
liked all these things. What was more, he knew perfectly
that there was no element of temptation in them
to lead him from his chosen path of altruism; Mrs. Ingraham’s
94well-known missionary ardour and Gertrude’s
delicate sympathy were guarantee for that. They understood
perfectly that within six months he would depart
for an exile of perhaps a lifetime, in an alien and
uncongenial land, where he would work under conditions
of life repulsive and depressing to the last degree.
Nevertheless, he believed without vanity that Gertrude
Ingraham, knowing all, foreseeing all, could care for him.
Keith Burgess had come, suddenly perhaps, but definitely,
to the conclusion that he wanted a wife; and,
furthermore, that he wanted a wife who would go out
with him to India six months hence. Consequently, as
he sat by the fire which Gertrude Ingraham had lighted
for him, he pursued this line of thought with significant
persistence.
A curious condition, however, attended his reflections.
While he sat by Gertrude’s fire, tasted her dainty food,
inhaled the fragrance of the rose she had sent him, and
thought of her in all her beauty and grace, he did not see
her. Instead of her figure, there stood constantly before
the eye of his mind the tall, austere form of Anna Mallison,
in the unsoftened simplicity of her manner and
apparel, and in her passionless, unresponding repose.
He thought of Gertrude Ingraham, but he saw Anna
Mallison.
She had travelled the way that he had come. Outwardly
there might be coldness between them, but inwardly
there must be the profoundest basis of sympathy.
The same master conviction had won and held their two
souls. He could not have known her better, it seemed
to him, had he known her all his life. The things
which would have repelled another man were what
drew him all the more to her. It was not the passion
95of love which had so suddenly awakened within him,
but a mighty longing for what Keith Burgess had thus
far gone through life without,—a true and satisfying
sympathy with his religious life and its aspirations. A
girl like Gertrude Ingraham might accept his religion
and the shape it took, but it would be because she cared
for him; a girl like Anna Mallison might, perhaps,
accept him, but it would be because of his religion and
the shape it had taken. At this crisis of his life the
enthusiasm for his calling ruled him as no human love
could, and by it all the issues of life must stand or fall.
Hours passed. The fire died out to a core of dull
red embers, the single rose drooped on its stem, the tray
of food stood despoiled and indifferent; the words of the
small white paper were forgotten, and Keith Burgess,
throwing himself upon his knees, prayed thus to God:—
“Oh, my Lord, if thou wilt grant me so great a good
as to win her for my wife, if thou wilt bless me in seeking
her, if it is according to thy will that our lives should
be united, and that together we should carry the cross
of Christ to the lost, grant me, O Lord, a sign. But if
it be not thy will, make this, too, known to me. Thy
will I seek, O my God, in this, in all things.”
Then, being wearied in brain and body, he slept heavily
until morning.
When, just before the breakfast hour, Keith stepped
into the hall, he paused a moment, hearing a step on the
stairs above him leading from the third story rooms.
He advanced slowly to the head of the next staircase,
and not until he reached it did he see who it was descending
from above. Then, lifting his eyes, he saw
Anna Mallison.
Her presence in this house, at this hour, so surprising,
96so unlooked-for, so almost unnatural, since her
home was elsewhere in the city—what did it mean?
It was the sign he had craved. How else could he
interpret it?
The blood rushed in sudden flow to his heart, leaving
his face colourless.
Anna, not being surprised to meet him thus, was
simply saying “Good morning,” and passing down the
stairs. Keith put out his hand and stopped her going.
So marvellous did her presence seem to him that he
forthwith spoke out with unconventional directness the
thought in his mind.
“I think you do not know just what it means that
you are here, in this house, this morning.”
Mally Loveland would have flashed some pert rejoinder
to a comment like this; Gertrude Ingraham, in
a similar situation, would have looked at Keith Burgess
with pretty wonder and smiling question.
Anna Mallison, seeing the pallor and emotion of his
face, and having become wonted to the supernatural
interpretation of the small events of human life, only
said gravely and without obvious surprise:—
“I do not, perhaps, know all that it means. I trust
it means no trouble to any one—to you.”
“No,” he answered, a slight tremor in his voice; “I
cannot believe that it does. You came under the divine
leading, no matter how or why you seemed to yourself
to come. You came as a sign. I had asked a sign of
God. I did not dream of your presence in this house.
Seeing you now, so unexpectedly, how can I doubt any
further? It is the will of God.”
Anna looked straight into Keith’s face, a deep shadow
of perplexity on her own, but she did not speak.
97He smiled slightly.
“You cannot understand, and no wonder, I am
speaking to you as I have no right to—in the dark.
It is for you to say whether, by and by, before I go
to-morrow morning, I may explain my meaning and try
to make clear to you what is so clear to me.”
It was Anna now who grew perturbed, for the significance
of his words, although veiled, was manifest. She
turned and descended the stairs without speaking, Keith
Burgess following her in silence. She did not herself
understand her own sharp recoil and dismay, but all the
maiden instinct of defence was in alarm within her.
At the foot of the stairs they both paused for an
instant, and Keith asked in a low voice:—
“Will you walk with me on these hills somewhere,
alone, this afternoon at four o’clock?”
A sudden great sense of revolt arose in the girl’s
heart, and broke in a faint sob upon her lips. She did
not want to walk on the hills with him—with any man.
She did not want to hear what he had to say. But he
had said it was the will of God, their thus meeting. He
had sought that awful, irrefragable will, and she had acted,
it seemed, in obedience to it in coming to this house.
What was she, to be found fighting against God?
She felt herself constrained to say yes.
98
... I made answer to my friend: “Of a surety I have now set my feet
on that point of life beyond the which he must not pass who would return.”
—The New Life, Dante.
“I ask you, Anna Mallison, to go out with me to
my work in India in May, as my wife.”
Thus Keith Burgess, having recounted the story of
the lights and leadings of the past twenty-four hours.
They were standing, and faced one another in a yellow
beech wood where the sky above their heads was
shut out by the sun-lightened paving of the clustering
leaves.
As she came down the woodland path Anna had
broken off a long stem of goldenrod, and she held it
hung like an inverted torch at her side, like a sad vestal
virgin at some ancient funeral rites.
“Forgive me for bringing this to you so swiftly. I
know it seems hasty, perhaps unreasonably so. But to
me no time or acquaintance, however extended, could
change my wish. And, you see, my time is so very
short, now!”
Keith Burgess looked with his whole soul’s sincerity
into Anna’s face, and the integrity of his purpose, of
his whole nature, could not be mistaken.
“It is not the suddenness, I think,” she replied slowly,
with unconscious coldness; “like you, I feel that the
great facts of God’s will and providence may be made
clear to us instantly.”
Then she hesitated and paused.
99“Please go on,” the young man said gently.
“It is only,” she answered, with a pathos which a
woman would have understood, “that I did not want to
be married at all. I had never thought of it as being a
thing I needed to be troubled about.”
Keith Burgess smiled faintly at her frankness, which
was not cruel of intention, he knew, but his smile touched
Anna’s heart.
“I did not wish to trouble you,” he said quietly.
“Please do not misunderstand me. It was not the
way to express it—my words sounded unkind, I am
afraid. I should learn better ways of gentler speaking.
Other women seem to have them naturally.”
“I like it that you are honest, even if it hurts,” said
Keith, steadily.
“I did not mean that you trouble me—not exactly.
Only that my life looked so plain and clear to me, and
this is so surprising—it seems to change things so.”
“Only by a little outward difference. I should not
dare to ask you to go as my wife if I did not believe
that you could work more effectively so, perhaps,” he
added timidly, “even more happily, if I had strength
and protection to give you, and a home of some sort,
however poor, in that strange land.”
Something in the quality of his voice brought swift
tears to Anna’s eyes. It was so new to have some one
thinking and caring for her ease and happiness. It had
so long been her part to do this for others, to forget
herself, and take it quite for granted that others should
forget her.
He saw his advantage, and sought to follow it.
“The thought of marriage is unwelcome to you,” he
said earnestly, “because it is foreign and unfamiliar. I
100think you are very different from most girls of your age,
and have lived a different inward life, higher and purer,
and free from personal aims in a wonderful way. But
even so, regarding marriage I believe you are wrong.
You think of it as an interruption, almost as a decline
from the life you had meant to live. On the contrary,
God has made it to be the very best life, the normal and
fulfilled life, in which each is at the strongest and best.
Where my work for God and men might fall utterly to
the ground, you, by your purer insight, might help me
to make it availing; and perhaps the poor service I could
give might help a little to carry forward your work.”
Anna lifted her hand in a slight, expressive gesture.
“Look at the whole thing a moment,” cried Keith,
with sudden boldness, “as if you were not you and I
not I. Here are two persons, man and woman, of the
same age within two or three years, led of the same
Spirit to the same purpose and consecration and calling;
both ready to go out to the same unknown land, lonely
and apart, and there to work as best they may far from
any human being they have ever seen or known. Such
were we. And now God, looking upon us, sees that
each needs the other, and in his good providence he
leads us here to this place. I see you, and instantly my
heart goes out to you as the companion, the other self,
I need. My soul recognizes in you its counterpart.
God, in answer to my prayer that he will make known
his will, suddenly, most unexpectedly, as I start on the
new day, brings you before me before I have spoken or
met with man or woman, as the first, best light of morning.
What does God mean? Ask yourself, Anna Mallison,
ask him. For my own part, I cannot doubt his
will. I have no right to thrust my conviction upon
101you forcibly, but to me this is as clearly the call of God
as my call to the foreign field or to the divine service.”
They were still standing face to face, and while Keith
spoke Anna looked into his eyes with the serious directness
of one listening to an argument of weighty but
impersonal import. With all his conviction and earnestness,
he was as passionless as she, save for his religious
passion. A strange wooing!
Anna turned now and walked on along the mossy path
in silence.
“Take time to consider,—all the time you need. Do
not try to decide now,” said Keith, walking at her side.
She made no reply; in fact, she did not realize that he
spoke. Her mind was working in intense concentration.
Keith Burgess alone she would have turned away
without a moment’s doubt, but he had, or seemed to
have, a mighty Ally. She did not fear him in rejecting
nor desire him in accepting, but to reject God!—that
she feared; to accept God in every manifestation of
his will was her deepest desire.
But what if Keith were wrong in his conviction?
Her pale face flushed with a flame of indignation as she
thought of it, that a man, whom she had never met or
known, sought or desired, could suddenly invade the
very citadel of her will, and summon her to surrender
her very life into his keeping, in the great Name, when,
perhaps, he was self-deceived, was coming in his own
name, to do his own will. She looked aside at Keith’s
face as he walked by her, in sudden distrust. It wore
no flush of passion, and in the blue eyes was the light
less of earthly love than of heavenly. It was a look
pure and high, such as a man might fitly wear as he
approached the sacrament. A sudden awe fell upon
102Anna, as if she were looking upon one who had talked
with God, and her eyes fell, the lashes weighted with
heavy, unshed tears.
“He is better than I,” she thought; “a man like this
could not lead me wrong.”
White and cold, and with a strange sinking at her
heart, she turned to him soon, and stopped where she
stood.
He looked into her face, his own suffused with emotion.
She held out both her hands, the goldenrod,
which she had held until now, falling to the ground.
Keith Burgess took them in both his, and Anna felt
that his hands trembled far more than did her own.
“I believe you were right,” she said simply. “It is
the will of God.”
He kissed her then on her brow and on her lips, the
salutation disturbing her no more than if he had been
her brother.
“Please, will you let me go home now, alone, Mr.
Burgess?” she asked humbly, like a child.
Keith was disappointed, but consented at once.
“Only,” he said, “you should not call me Mr. Burgess.
My name for you is Keith.”
“Not yet,” she answered. “In outward things and
ways remember, please, that we are perfect strangers. It
is only in the spirit that we have met.”
Then she left him, and Keith Burgess stood watching
the tall, dark figure swiftly receding down the wood walk
in the yellow light. His look was wistful. He longed
to go after her, but he forebore.
Anna hastened down into the city streets and to the
hospital where she was on duty every afternoon. There
was plenty of work awaiting her, and not for a moment
103was she free or left alone to think her own thoughts.
Six o’clock found her back in her own rooms at Mrs.
Wilson’s. They were low and dull after the fine spaciousness
of the Ingraham house, but that was a matter
of little note to Anna.
Mally was there with a friend whom she had brought
home with her to tea. Anna washed the dishes while
these two diligently revised the trimming of their hats
which in some particular, wholly imperceptible to Anna’s
untrained eye, fell below the standard of latest fashion.
It was not until the girls left the house, at seven
o’clock, and all her duties, trivial and homely and wearying,
were done, that Anna, alone at last, could yield to
the overpowering weariness which was upon her.
She carried the lamp, whose flame seemed to pierce
her aching eyes, into the next room, and then, lying on
the hard haircloth sofa with her head propped on one
hand, she closed her eyes, thankful at last to be where
she could let a few tears fall with no one to wonder or
question. The quiet patience inbred in the constitution
of the girl’s nature controlled her mood; there was no
struggle of revolt from the vow she had taken and the
future to which she had pledged herself, but an unspeakable
homesickness had taken possession of her. She
liked and reverenced Keith Burgess, no doubt she would
love him very truly by and by, but just now he seemed
to have turned her out of her own life and to have taken
control where she had hitherto, with God, been supreme.
It all gave her the same feeling she had suffered when,
after her father’s death, they had been obliged to give
up their home for the coming in of a new leader for the
little flock her father had led so long. She knew there
was no real analogy between the two experiences, she
104could reason clearly against herself, but she could not
control the piteous heart-sickness which settled down
upon her in the dim room, in the silent, empty house.
Many women have suffered a reaction like this in the
hour of committing themselves, from the fear that this is
not the supreme love, the love of the lifetime; the misgiving
lest this man is not, after all, the man for whom
they can forsake all others and unto whom they can
cleave with a perfect heart to the end. These were not,
however, the considerations which weighed upon Anna
Mallison. It was, as she had herself expressed it, very
simply, that she had not thought about marriage at all.
She had no ideal of manhood in her mind from this
point of view. It was not that she craved the love of a
stronger man or a man abler or better in any way than
Keith Burgess; she merely preferred no man. She had
not awakened to love; the deeper forces of her woman’s
nature were sleeping still.
But there was not for an instant, in Anna’s mind, the
thought of withdrawing from her plighted word to Keith.
She believed that he had come to her, as he believed,
under the divine light and leading. She turned to walk
in the new path marked out for her, faithfully and obediently,
but pausing a moment to look with aching eyes
and heart down the dear, familiar path which she was
leaving. But Anna was too tired to think long, or even
to feel, and so fell asleep shortly, in the stiff, angular
position in which she lay, the tears undried upon her
cheeks. The sound of the knocker on the house door,
hard, metallic, but without resonance, suddenly roused
her, and she sprang up hastily, remembering that Mrs.
Wilson had gone to the great missionary meeting, and
that she was alone in the house.
105She took her lamp and went down the narrow stairs
into the bit of entry. When she opened the door,
Keith Burgess himself was standing there.
He looked at her, smiling half mischievously, and she
felt a sudden warmth at her heart as she met the sweet,
true look of his eyes.
“Didn’t you ever expect to see me again?” he said,
and laughed as he stepped into the house and closed the
door.
She smiled, too, and held out her hand. He took it
and kissed it in a gallant way, which she found wholly
wonderful, being quite unused to such feats, and unread
in romances.
“It will be a bore, won’t it,” he went on quaintly,
“this having a man around to bother you? Perhaps I
ought not to have come, but, you see, I go in the morning,
and I thought you might have something to say to
me before I left.”
“Yes,” Anna said; adding naïvely, “but where shall
I take you? It is so new. I have not had a call like
this before.” She felt shy about inviting him up to her
own sitting room.
“In there?” he queried, pointing to the door of Mrs.
Wilson’s drear little closed parlour.
“Oh, no,” replied Anna, “Mrs. Wilson never lets us go
in there. It is too fine for anything but funerals and—”
she was about to say weddings, but broke off confused,
and they both laughed, looking at each other like two
children with their innocent eyes.
“I can sit here,” said Keith, pointing, as he spoke, to
the steep, narrow stairs. There was a red and green
striped carpet on them, and a strip of grey linen over for
protection. The little entry was bare of furniture, save
106for the small uncovered table on which Anna had placed
her lamp.
“Very well,” she said, “I will borrow a chair from
Mrs. Wilson’s kitchen;” and she forthwith brought out
a clean wooden chair painted a light yellow, and placed
it at the side of the stairway for herself, there being no
room at the foot.
“I was going to say,” remarked Keith, musingly, as
Anna sat down, “that these stairs are rather wide, and
if Mrs. Wilson is particular about lending her chairs, I
could make room for you here,” and he looked at her
soberly between the stair-rails. Anna shook her head, but
suddenly there came over them both a sense of the ludicrousness
of the little scene they would have presented,
had any one been able to look in upon them, and they
laughed again, as Anna had not laughed since she was a
child, something of exhaustion aiding to break down her
wonted restraint.
“It is so funny, oh, it is so funny!” she cried, “to
see you looking out between those bars as if you were
a lion in a cage. Just think of the people at the meeting!
What if they were to see us two. Wouldn’t they
think it was dreadful?”
“Would you mind putting your hand into the
cage?” asked Keith. “I assure you it is perfectly safe.
This is not the man-eating variety.”
“You are sure?” Anna asked, with a woman’s instinctive
coquetry swiftly developed, but giving her hand.
“It is such a beautiful hand,” he said, laying it very
gently on his own right hand, which he had placed on
the stair beside him, and at this, the first word of flattery
which any man had ever spoken to her face, Anna blushed
and grew positively pretty, as he looked at her.
107All this laughing and light nonsense between them,
did for her what a season of prayer and serious discussion
of their situation could not have accomplished.
Anna felt, with a sudden sense of comfort and release,
that this new relation was not exclusively a solemn
religious ordinance, but a dear human companionship,
the joyousness of simple, upright hearts, and the sympathy
of kindred minds.
108
Now die the dream, or come the wife,
The past is not in vain,
For wholly as it was your life
Can never be again,
My dear,
Can never be again.
—W. E. Henley.
At Anna’s earnest request, Keith Burgess consented
that their engagement should be announced to no one
save his mother until spring. Mally observed the
regularity of Keith’s weekly letters, and attempted to
tease Anna into acknowledging that there was “something
in it”; but Anna’s dignity, which on occasion had
its effect even upon Mally’s vivacious self-confidence,
ended this line of attack in short order. A few weeks
after Keith left Burlington Anna received the following
note:—
My Dear Miss Mallison: My son, Keith Burgess,
has confided in me the fact that you have
consented to enter into an understanding with him
which, if Providence should favour, will doubtless eventually
terminate in marriage. Your name has been
mentioned to me by members of our Woman’s Foreign
Missionary Board, and I am led to believe that
my dear son has been graciously led of the Lord in
his choice of a companion in the path of duty upon
which he has entered. That my son is a godly young
109man and of an amiable disposition, I need hardly take
this occasion to tell you. Similarity of views and of
religious experience would seem to furnish a satisfactory
basis for a union productive of mutual good and the
glory of God.
Trusting for further acquaintance before you depart
for foreign shores,
I am yours very truly,
Sarah Keith Burgess.
If this letter were stiff or cold, Anna, not looking for
warmth and freedom, did not miss them. She knew that
Keith was the only son of his mother, and she a widow.
She took it for granted that they were poor like herself;
she had not known many people who were other than
poor, none who were in the ranks of missionary candidates.
Such a thing would have seemed singularly incongruous
because unfamiliar. She had a distinct picture of
Mrs. Burgess, whom she knew to be in delicate health, as a
woman of sweet, saintly face and subdued manner, living
in a small white cottage in an obscure street of Fulham,
perhaps not unlike the Burlington street in which Mrs.
Wilson’s house stood. She fancied her living alone—indeed,
Keith had told her that this was so—in a plain
and humble fashion, a quiet, devoted, Christian life, a
type with which her experience both in Haran and Burlington
church circles had made her familiar. There
were some geraniums in the little sitting room window,
she thought, and it was a sunny room with braided mats
over the carpet, and a comfortable cat asleep on a patchwork
cushion near the stove. There would be a small
stand beside Mrs. Burgess’s rocking-chair with a large
Bible and a volume or two of Barnes’s “Notes,” a spectacle
110case and a box of cough medicine; perhaps it was a
bottle, Anna was not sure, but she inclined to the hoarhound
drops, and almost smelt them when she thought
of the room. She imagined the dear old lady carefully
and prayerfully inditing the epistle to herself, and thought
it most kind of her, and wrote thus to Keith.
The winter passed for Anna in hard and unintermitting
work. Mally allowed herself lighter labours, and, having
raised her eyes with admiration to the Rev. Frank
Nichols, now shook herself free as far as she could conveniently
from her more frivolous Burlington friends, and
renewed her earlier interest in religion with extraordinary
zeal. She felt that Dr. Harvey’s church was too worldly
for her ideals, and that Mr. Nichols’s beautiful work
among the humbler classes offered far more opportunity
for religious devotion. Her regular attendance at all the
meetings of the church was a great satisfaction to Anna,
who looked on with characteristic blindness, glad to see
her friend returning to a more consistent walk and
conversation.
The letters which passed between Anna and Keith
would hardly have been called love-letters. They dealt
with religious experience and views of “divine truth,”
for the most part. Not even at start or finish of any
letter was place found for the endearing trifling common
to lovers. This correspondence might all have been
published, omitting nothing—without dashes or asterisks,
even in that day when it was thought unseemly to reveal
the innermost secrets of hearts, and to speak upon the
housetops that which had been whispered in the ear.
There were few personal allusions on the part of either,
beyond Keith’s occasional mention of his health being
below the mark. At Christmas Keith sent Anna a
111volume of “Sacred Poetry”; on the fly-leaf he had
written:—
Anna Mallison,
From her sincere friend and well-wisher,
Keith Burgess.
He had abstained from warmer terms on account of
Anna’s wish to withhold the knowledge of their engagement
for the present.
Poor Anna, having nothing wherewith to provide a
gift for her lover, the small savings for her education
being now nearly exhausted, made shift to sew together
sheets of note-paper, on which she copied her favourite
passages from Paley and Butler and various theologians.
This humble offering was sent to Keith, who was highly
gratified, and treasured the little gift affectionately.
For two weeks following Christmas Anna received no
letter, but she was not greatly surprised, as she knew
Keith was to start early in January for a tour of various
New England towns, where he was expected to present
the cause of Foreign Missions. He was now completing
his last year in the theological seminary near Boston, and
his unusual gifts in public speech induced the faculty to
send him out frequently on such missions.
At half-past eight of a zero morning in the second
week of January, Anna, with her threadbare black jacket
buttoned tight to her throat, her arm full of books, was
leaving Mrs. Wilson’s door on her way to school, when
she saw a boy stop in front of the house with a telegram
in his hand. Taking it, she found, greatly amazed, that
it was for herself—the first telegram she had ever
received.
The boy, accustomed to see people receive his messages
112with changing colour and nervous hands, glanced at
her coolly, then turned and went his way back, plunging
his hands into his pockets against the biting cold. In
the little entry Anna opened the despatch. It was
dated Portland, Maine, and signed by Keith Burgess.
It told her that he was very ill; that he was alone, it
being impossible for his mother to go to him. It asked
her to come to him at once.
Anna’s mind, in the half-hour which followed, worked
with intense rapidity. She found from a newspaper that
by a ten o’clock train she could reach Boston that evening,
and she decided to take that train, and go on to Portland
by night. She wrote a note to Mally, in which
she told her of her engagement to Keith and of what
had occurred. She packed a satchel with what was
necessary, and last of all drew out of her little square
writing-desk, where she kept it carefully locked away, an
envelope containing all the ready money she possessed.
She found that there remained exactly twelve dollars.
This, to Anna, was a large amount of money, and,
although her heart sank a little at the thought of spending
so much at once, the prospect for the weeks to come
before she could draw upon her mother again being
blank enough, she knew that this was justified by the
emergency.
Soon after nine Anna again departed from the house,
the books replaced by the satchel, the worn and faded
black gown and jacket unchanged, starting alone and
unsped upon her long and anxious journey.
She went first to the Ingrahams, walking the long mile
in the sharp cold, carrying her heavy bag with a benumbed
hand, since the reckless extravagance of a carriage might
not for a moment be considered.
113Mrs. Ingraham was ill and could not see Anna, but
her daughter Gertrude came into the parlour and greeted
her cordially. The issues of the hour were too strong
upon Anna to permit any trace of embarrassment or
personal feeling in her manner, although she felt that it
would have been easier to say what she felt must be said,
to Mrs. Ingraham.
“Will you be so good as to tell your mother,” she
began, “that I could not go away on this journey, which
I must take, without explaining it to her? She has been
so very kind. We did not mean to announce it quite
so soon, but Mr. Burgess, whom I met here in the fall,
and I are engaged to be married.” Anna was too preoccupied
to perceive the flush which slowly and steadily
rose in Gertrude Ingraham’s face.
“We expect to go out together in May,” Anna proceeded.
“Mr. Burgess has not been strong for several
months, perhaps he is never very strong; but this morning
I have a telegram from him asking me to come to
Portland, as he is very ill, and his mother cannot be with
him.”
“Shall you go, Miss Mallison?” asked Gertrude,
with visible constraint.
Anna looked at her then, surprised, and instantly felt
the indefinable coldness of her reception of her little story.
“I am on my way to take the ten o’clock train east,”
she said simply, her voice faltering slightly. For all her
courage and steadiness, her heart was crying out for a
little touch of another woman’s gentleness; the way
before her was not easy, and there was a sense of loneliness
upon her which began to make itself acutely felt.
Gertrude Ingraham rose and said:—
“I am so very sorry for Mr. Burgess. We liked him
114very much. You must let me go and speak to mamma
a moment, for I know she would wish to give you some
message. I will not keep you long.” And she hurried
from the room.
Anna sat alone and watched the minute-hand of a
French clock on the mantel moving slowly along the
gilded dial, a heavy oppression on her spirit. She had
not consciously expected sympathy, but Gertrude’s aloofness
hurt her strangely.
Some one came softly into the room behind her just
then, so softly that she turned rather because she felt a
presence than because she heard a step. It was Oliver
Ingraham.
The peculiar personality of this mysterious man inspired
Anna always with an aversion hardly less than
terror, and although she had become familiar with his
presence in her frequent visits, it had never become less
painful to her. Indeed, latterly, a new element of discomfort
had been added to her feeling toward him, since
he had shown a marked disposition to follow her about,
and intrude a manner of unpleasant gallantry upon her.
He greeted her now almost effusively, and, perceiving
that she was prepared as if for a journey, asked at once:—
“Not going away? The painful hour of parting is
not here yet, surely?”
Anna made a vague and hurried reply.
“Because, you know,” pursued Oliver, lowering his
voice to an offensive tone of familiarity, and maliciously
mimicking the phraseology of his stepmother’s friends,
“we could hardly spare our dear young sister yet; she
is becoming really indispensable to us,” and he held out
one long hand as if to clasp that of Anna, leering at her
repulsively.
115Anna rose hurriedly and moved away from him, her
heart beating hard with fear and antipathy. To her
great relief she heard Gertrude Ingraham’s step in the
hall, and Anna, with her face paler than it had been,
met her at the door, while Oliver slunk away to a little
distance, and appeared to be looking out of a window
unconcernedly.
Gertrude Ingraham carried a pocket-book open in her
hand, and as she spoke she looked at it, and not at
Anna.
“Mamma is so very sorry, and sends her best wishes
and hopes for Mr. Burgess’s quick recovery. She hopes
you will let her know; and, Miss Mallison,” Gertrude
was evidently embarrassed, “mamma says it is such a
long and expensive journey, and she wishes you would
just take this with you to make everything as comfortable
as may be.” And she drew out a crisp twenty-dollar
note, which she essayed to put in Anna’s hand.
Anna had not known before that she was proud. She
did not know it now, but Gertrude Ingraham did, and
was touched with keen compunction. She understood
that her mother would have been more successful.
It was only the swift, unconscious protest of Anna’s
hand, the pose of her head as she turned to go, and the
quiet finality with which she said:—
“Will you thank Mrs. Ingraham for me, and say I
did not need it? She is always kind. Good-by.”
A moment later Gertrude watched from the window
the slender figure in its faded, scanty black, with the
heavy, old-fashioned satchel, passing down the windswept
lawn, under the grey and bitter sky.
Within was warmth and luxury and protection, and
yet Gertrude’s heart leaped with a strong passion of
116desire to forego all this and take Anna Mallison’s place,
that so she might start on that long journey which should
bring her, at its end, to the side of Keith Burgess.
Small, unseen tragedies in women’s lives such as this,
never once, perhaps, expressed, and never forgotten,
work out the heroic hypocrisies which women learn,
since such is their allotted part.
“You might have known better than to offer money
to that girl,” Oliver’s high, shrill voice behind Gertrude
said. “She’s as confoundedly proud as all the other
saints. But she’ll have to come down yet. We shall
see some day.”
Thus unpleasantly interrupted in her reverie, Gertrude
rose impatiently, and left the room.
It was eight o’clock that evening when Anna reached
Boston. Dismayed by the small remainder of money
left her after her railway ticket was bought, she had not
dared to spend anything for food through all the day,
and had tried to think the cold, dry bread, a few slices
of which she had put into her satchel, was sufficient for
her needs.
In Boston a change of stations made a cab a necessity
if she would not lose the Portland train, and this
she must not do, since she had telegraphed Keith from
Burlington that she would be with him in the morning.
Anna alighted at the station of the Maine Railroad and
heard the cabman say that his fee was two dollars with
a sensation hardly less than terror. She paid him without
a word, then entering the station, sat down in the
glare of light amid the confusion of the moving crowd,
and looked into her poor little purse, a sharp contraction
at her throat as she counted, and found less than three
dollars left.
117The train would leave in fifteen minutes. Anna went
with as brave a face as she could manage, to the office,
and asked what was the fare to Portland. The curt
reply of the agent proved the glaring insufficiency of her
small remaining store. Trembling with weakness and
dismay, Anna turned back to her place and sat down,
closing her eyes while she prayed. She had friends in
missionary circles in Boston, who would gladly have lent
her money, but time failed to seek them out. She
thought, as she prayed, of the money which Gertrude
Ingraham had proffered in the morning, and, humbled,
asked forgiveness for the ignorance and pride which had
led her to reject it. The thought of Keith watching,
perhaps in vain, for her coming in his loneliness and
great need, perhaps in his extremity, overwhelmed her
with pity and penitence. Having prayed for forgiveness
and for guidance, and for a way out, and a way to Keith
that night, she opened her eyes, astonished for the moment
at the harsh light and the motley scene about her,
her actual surroundings having been for the time forgotten
in the complete abstraction of her mind. She gazed
for a few moments languidly before her, her face so
colourless and sorrowful that many persons who passed
her looked back at her in curiosity and concern. Presently
the space before her became clear; there was a
pause in the fluctuating course of passers-by, and nothing
interposed, for the instant, between her and the window
of the ticket office.
An elderly gentleman in a long travelling cloak and
silk hat, carrying a snug and shiny travelling bag, came
up to the window with the confident and assured bearing
of the experienced traveller. Anna heard him ask for a
ticket to Portland. She recognized him at once, for it
118was Dr. Durham, the missionary secretary who had once
been her father’s guest.
When he turned from the window, the doctor found
the pale, quiet girl in black standing just behind him;
she spoke to him with a radiant light in her face, such as
he had never met before. To herself, Anna was saying
with a sense of exquisite joy in her heart, “God is near,”
feeling herself close touched by the Almightiness. To
her father’s friend she told her story and her need in few
words, without hesitation or doubt, declaring, necessarily,
her engagement to Keith Burgess, and the fact that she
was hastening to reach him on account of his serious
illness.
“Amazing, my dear,” exclaimed Dr. Durham, taking
off his hat and wiping the large shining baldness of his
head, “amazing indeed! I am myself on my way to
Burgess, and we can make the journey together. Poor
fellow! It is a sad case. I had a telegram yesterday,
but it was impossible to start until to-night. It seems
he has had a hemorrhage. But we will talk all this over
on the way,” and the good old gentleman made haste to
buy Anna’s ticket, which he said it was only the part of
the Society to do, and she must never mention it again.
This done, they hastened on together to the train.
119
How true it is that our destinies are decided by nothings, and that a small
imprudence helped by some insignificant accident, as an acorn is fertilized by a
drop of rain, may raise the tree on which perhaps we and others shall be
crucified....
Poor, sorely tried Faith! She has but one way out of the difficulty—the
word Mystery. It is in the origins of things that the great secret of destiny lies
hidden, although the breathless sequence of after events has often many surprises
for us too.—Amiel.
The incredible luxury of her breakfast the next
morning in the hotel in Portland made an impression
upon Anna which she could never forget, since she was,
in fact, very nearly starved. The rich coffee, the delicate
and sumptuous food, the noiseless assiduity of the
sleek black waiters, the great glittering room, all partook
of the marvellous to her exhausted senses.
Then she was conducted through endless passages
where her feet trod in baffling silence upon the lanes of
thick crimson carpet, for a few moments she was alone
in a room to bathe and prepare herself, and then a low-voiced
woman, stout and motherly, met her at the door,
and she was led to Keith.
He was lying, fully dressed, on a broad velvet sofa, in
a richly furnished room, which was full of flowers, and
bright with the light of the snowy winter morning and
a blazing wood fire. His eyes were luminous, his colour
better than she had known it, and he did not look ill.
The nurse left them alone, and they met with unfeigned
but quiet happiness.
“Was I selfish to ask you to come this long journey,
120just for me?” Keith asked anxiously, holding her hands.
Anna found his hot and tremulous, and soothed them
with a slow, strong motion of her own.
“No, not selfish,” she said.
“You see, I am not very ill; in fact, I am sure the
worst is over now, and I shall be just as well as ever in a
few weeks; but I had a terrible cold and coughing so
there was a little hemorrhage,—simply from the throat,
we understand it now,—but at the time the doctor himself
was alarmed, and so was I. If I had known how
slight an affair it really was, I should not have asked so
much of you, but I cannot be sorry, Anna. I shall
have to stay right here for several weeks, they say, and
it will be everything to have you near me, don’t you
see?”
“I am most grateful to be with you, Keith.”
“And will you talk to me about India, and about
our home there? I have thought of it so continually
since I have been sick. It almost seems as if I had
seen it, and you in it. I love it already, Anna. Please
say that you do too, just a little.”
“Tell me about it. Of course I shall love it.”
“It is all made of bamboo, you know, the house, and
perched up in the air, and there are great, wide rooms,
with cool shade, and a sound of water flowing; there
are broad bamboo lattices at the windows, and it
is still and peaceful, and the servants go about softly,
and you are there in a white dress, Anna,—oh, how I
want to see you in that white dress! It has tiny
borders of gilt and coloured embroidery, and it suits you
so much better than this hard black gown. Will you
have a dress made soon like that?”
Anna smiled and pressed her hand over Keith’s eyes,
121which were full of childish imploring. She was beginning
to see his weakness with a new pain at her heart.
She sat with him an hour, and then, the doctor coming
in, she was sent to her room to sleep until noon,
while Keith should rest, and have an interview with
Dr. Durham, their fatherly friend.
When Anna reached her room, she found on a table
a large jar of roses, rich in colour and fragrance, and
a basket of hothouse grapes. The day was bitterly
cold, and it was snowing hard, the thick snowflakes
melting against the broad, thick glass of her window.
The extravagant luxury of such fruit and flowers in
this depth of midwinter astonished and disturbed her.
There was no one of whom she could ask questions,
but how could it be right for Keith to spend so much
money? To remain for weeks in such a hotel as this
seemed to Anna to involve an impossible expenditure,
and she lay down on the great luxurious bed with a
bewildering confusion of questions to which no answers
were forthcoming. From the pinching cold and hunger
of yesterday to the luxurious ease of to-day was
like the transformation of a fairy tale; and Keith, with
his weak hands, and his bright eyes, and his wistful
eagerness was formidable in his appeal to her. She did
not know what might be coming, but she felt anew that
she had surrendered herself and was pledged now to do
another’s will.
At noon Anna had a moment’s conference with
Keith’s physician. He assured her that there was a remarkable
change for the better in his patient,—in fact,
that he looked now for a speedy convalescence, adding
that her coming had produced a most favourable effect.
The whole afternoon of that January day, Keith and
122Anna were left alone together. The nurse, glad of a
brief release, took her “afternoon out”; the various
doctors of medicine and divinity betook themselves to
other places; and word was given the page that Mr.
Burgess could not receive visitors, so that flowers and
cards accumulated, and interruptions were postponed.
There was justice in what Keith said, that they had
never yet had a chance to get acquainted, and now the
afternoon was turned to good account.
Experience and instinct made Anna a nurse. Keith
was sure he had never been so wholly comfortable as
she made him, and the effect of her personal presence
was like health and healing to him.
“How dear you are, Anna, and how absolutely necessary
to me,” he said fondly, as he watched her quiet
way of preparing his food and medicine. “I foresee
plainly that I can never let you leave me.”
When twilight gathered and the room grew dusky,
they had no lights, but sat by the fire, Anna on a low
seat beside the sofa, and silence fell. When Keith spoke
again, his voice betrayed a rising emotion, and an appeal
before which she trembled within herself.
“Anna,” he said, “why should you leave me again?
Why need we be separated any more? I need you. I
can get strong far faster with you beside me, for you
inspire me with a new life. Everything seems sure and
strong when you are with me. But I want you wholly
mine without fear or favour. Marry me, dear, to-night,
to-morrow! What have we to wait for? It is only
three months before our marriage was to be, you know.”
Concealing her agitation, and speaking quite steadily
and soothingly, Anna answered:—
“But you know, Keith, I must go back in a few
123weeks, and finish my work in the school and hospital.
I have still so much to learn before I can make a really
useful missionary, and so little time before May to learn
it in. You know I have cut my preparation short a
year, now, so that we may go out together. I am sure
we ought to wait until May.”
“Oh, Anna!”
The words, so spoken, had all the force of an inarticulate
cry from the man’s heart. They told what hours
of argument and pleading could not have conveyed,—the
yearning need for her presence and her upholding.
Anna lifted her eyes to Keith’s, and saw that they were
dim with tears. She did not feel them to be unmanly
tears, knowing his physical exhaustion, and they moved
her profoundly. She rose and walked to the window,
looking out into the snowy street. Again that sense
that her life was taken out of her own hands came upon
her; she felt like those of old who feared as they entered
into the cloud. She feared, but, nevertheless, she
went back to Keith, and said, very gently, but without
hesitation:—
“If we should be married to-morrow night, would
that please you, Keith?”
He caught her hand and pressed it to his cheek with
pathetic eagerness.
“Oh, my girl, am I wrong to move you to do this
for my sake? Forgive me, leave me, if I am leading
you faster, farther, than you wish to go.”
“I will not leave you, Keith,” Anna replied, taking
her low seat again at his side, “never, any more. It is
the will of God.”
The next day Keith was much stronger. He was
able to walk about the room, to sit up for an hour at a
124time, and to talk and plan to his heart’s desire. His
spirits were high, and he was full of irrepressible happiness,
and yet a wistful, grateful question always rose in
his eyes when they rested upon Anna. The marriage
was arranged to take place in Keith’s room at six o’clock.
Dr. Durham had consented to remain and perform the
ceremony, returning to Boston that night. Keith’s physician
had interposed no objection to the plan, and even
regarded the inevitable excitement as likely to be a benefit
rather than an injury to his patient.
“He needs you, Miss Mallison,” he remarked with an
emphasis which Anna felt to be peculiarly significant,
finding him a man of few words.
It was five o’clock, and Anna had gone to her room
to make ready for the ceremony. At Keith’s urgent
desire, and by the aid of one of the many efficient
friends whom the circumstances of his illness had gathered
around him, a white dress had been ordered for her.
She found it now, lying in delicate tissue wrappings
upon her bed, and beside it a box of orange flowers whose
fragrance filled the room.
She was becoming a little inured to luxury; colour,
warmth, perfume, delight to sense, seemed here to be
the natural order. A vague perplexity lay below it all,
but she had ceased now to ask questions.
As she bent to take her wedding-gown from its wrappings,
some one knocked at her door. It was Dr. Durham.
There was a shade of anxiety upon his kind old
face, and he asked her to come with him into an alcove
at the end of the hall. With an uneasy stirring at her
heart, Anna followed him. Keith’s physician was standing
by a table in the alcove, evidently awaiting them.
Anna looked into his face, waiting without speaking
125for what he might have to say. Surely it was impossible
that Keith could be worse; it was not ten minutes
since she left him.
“Miss Mallison,” said the doctor, gravely, “I have
been having a little conference with your friend, Dr.
Durham, and we find that there is a chance that you
may be under some misapprehension of the actual conditions
under which—under which you are about to
take an important step.”
“I did not understand it myself, my dear girl, until
within the last hour,” interposed Dr. Durham; “and
I really don’t know now what we ought to do. Still,
perfect frankness, perfect understanding, you know, may
be better for all parties.”
The good old man was visibly oppressed with the
burden of the part he had to bear in the interview.
Motionless Anna stood, only turning her eyes from one
man to the other in troubled wonder.
“The facts are simply these,” the physician took up
the word again, “and I am greatly surprised, and I may
add greatly pained, that they have not apparently been
understood before. Mr. Burgess will recover from this
attack, and may have years yet of moderate health, but
as for carrying out his purpose to go out as a foreign
missionary, it is absolutely impossible. Such a course
would simply be suicidal, and must not be considered
for a moment.”
“Not now, perhaps,” Anna spoke very low, in a
strange, muffled tone; “but it may be—later—?” and
she turned her imploring eyes from the face of one man
to the other.
“To be perfectly frank, my dear,” said Dr. Durham,
pressing his hands nervously together, “after what the
126doctor has told me of the condition of our dear friend,
the organic difficulty, and all that, you see—I fear that
I can only, in justice to all concerned, state plainly that
our Board would not be justified in sending him. I assure
you the blow is a severe one to me in my capacity
as secretary; for we regard Keith Burgess as, perhaps,
the most promising candidate who has ever come before
us. It is a dark Providence, and you will believe me
that only a sense of our duty in the matter has led us to
put the case so plainly before you.”
Anna did not speak.
“I was not aware, Miss Mallison,” said the physician,
“until an hour ago, that you were yourself under
appointment as a missionary. When I learned this fact,
it seemed to me that you should not enter upon the
proposed line of action without knowing clearly that it
involves giving up your chosen career,” and with these
words the doctor bowed and turned to withdraw.
Anna turned to Dr. Durham.
“Mr. Burgess does not know that he must give
up—?” she asked.
“No, oh, no,” was the reply; “the doctor says that
he must on no account be allowed to learn it until he is
stronger. His heart is so entirely bound up in this
noble purpose, that the blow will be a terrible one when
it comes.”
“We must wait, Miss Mallison, until he is as far as
may be recovered, before we allow him to even suspect
the actual state of the case;” the doctor added this,
looking at Anna’s face with surprise and concern. “If
I can serve you in any way, do not fail to call upon me.
For the present I must say good evening,” and he
hastened away.
127Dr. Durham followed, walking along the hall by his
side. The look in Anna’s face awed him. He felt
that it was not his right to share in an hour of such
conflict as this bade fair to be to her, for he perceived
already something of what her missionary vocation
meant to her. Anna, however, did not notice that he
had gone; the crisis was too great to permit her paying
heed to the accidental circumstances around her. A
voice in her heart seemed crying with constant iteration,
“Father! Father! What does God mean?”
For ten minutes Anna stood alone in the alcove,
looking steadily before her, but in her bewildered pain
seeing no outward thing, while in the far dim reaches
of the hall the good old clergyman paced noiselessly to
and fro.
On one side Anna saw her father’s life, with all its
deep renunciation, its pure aims, its defeat, and its one
final hope of fulfilment in herself; she saw the look in
his eyes as he bent above her in the little church that
night, when she declared her purpose to become a missionary;
she remembered his Nunc Dimittis as he blessed
her with dying eyes; she lived again through the solemn
hour of dedication, just after her father’s death, when
the sense came upon her that she was called of God to
carry on what her father began, to be in herself the
continuance, and through divine grace the fruition, of
his life. Since that hour life had meant only one thing
to Anna; no other purpose or desire had ever entered to
divide or diminish its control over her: she was set
apart to carry the gospel of Christ to the heathen; this
one thing only would she do.
This on the one side, strong as life itself, inwoven
into the very texture of her soul and her consciousness.
128On the other side Keith Burgess, even now scarcely
better than a stranger, and yet, by the will of God as
she believed, bound to her by sacred and indissoluble
vows. To be faithful to those vows, to save him from
despair, perhaps from death, she must cut off all her
past, must read her life all backward, must annul and
declare vain and void the most solemn purposes of her
soul.
From his retreat, watching, Dr. Durham at length
saw Anna advancing down the hall toward the door
of her room. He met her there, a question he did not
dare to speak in his tired, kind old eyes. Her face was
as the face of one who has even in the moment received
a spiritual death-blow.
He held his watch in his hand. Without speaking,
Anna motioned to him, and he replied:—
“It is nearly half-past five, my dear.”
“Very well,” she said, her voice dull and toneless;
“I will be ready at six o’clock.”
As if in a dream she prepared herself for her marriage.
She moved as if in response to another will than her
own; her own will seemed to lie dead before her, a
visible, tangible thing, done to death by her own hand.
The white gown, Keith’s gift, seemed less a wedding-garment
than a burial robe, and a strange smile crossed
her face when she caught her reflection in the glass, and
saw that, save for her eyes, her face was wholly colourless,
the pale flowers on her breast hardly paler, hardly colder.
At the clock-striking of the appointed hour, Anna
entered the room, and, taking her place beside Keith,
whose face was full of tender gladness, she lifted her
eyes steadily to the old clergyman’s face, listening as
for life and death to his words.
129“In sickness and in health, ... for richer for poorer,
... and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him.”
Yes, all others. God only knew the significance of
those words, for they seemed to mean God himself just
then; but God would pity. He would help. Her
response came low but unfaltering, and then, with bowed
heads, standing side by side in their youth, their innocence,
their patience of hope, they two listened solemnly
to the last irrevocable words.
So steadfastly Anna held herself until the end, but
hardly had the final word of blessing been pronounced,
when, with a low cry for help, she wavered as she stood,
and fell fainting.
BOOK II AFTERNOON — CHAPTER XV — CHAPTER XVI — CHAPTER XVII — CHAPTER XVIII — CHAPTER XIX — CHAPTER XX — CHAPTER XXI — CHAPTER XXII — CHAPTER XXIII
131
Hear now our cry for strength to bear the weight of prayers unanswered.
—Maarten Maartens.
133
The evil base of our society eats right through; that our wealthy homes
are founded on the spoliation of the poor vitiates all the life that goes on within
them. Somehow or other, it searches through and degrades the art, manners,
dress, good taste of the inmates.—Edward Carpenter.
It was a month later, when a train from the east,
entering the Fulham station at five o’clock of the February
afternoon, brought Keith Burgess and his wife
home.
Keith was apparently in fairly good physical condition,
and looked and carried himself much as he had when
Anna first knew him, although she could now detect
the underlying weakness which he strove hard to conceal.
He had been told in due time of what was
involved in his illness. The shock had been severe
both to mind and body, and for a while a serious relapse
had seemed imminent. Those days had brought the
young wife and husband into a new union of sympathy
and suffering, as each strove to bear the burden of their
thwarted lives bravely for the other’s sake. Not at that
time nor at any later period was it possible for Anna to
let Keith know to the full the meaning of this renunciation
to her. He knew that to her, as to him, the abandonment
of the missionary purpose was a profound and
poignant sorrow; he did not know that it was the overthrow
of all that had made her life hitherto, and that,
whatever new forces and motives might produce out of
the elements of her character, the old life, the first Anna
Mallison, was slain.
134Keith had told her little of what lay before them in
his mother’s home, which was now to be theirs; they
had been too deeply absorbed in the present emergency
to take much thought for the future. This much, however,
had been accomplished in a week’s sojourn in
Boston: Keith would shortly be appointed to fill a missionary
secretaryship, which involved much travel and
speaking in the interests of the cause, but permitted him
to make his residence in Fulham. The strong hope
which Anna clung to silently for herself, as the last
pitiful substitute for the calling now denied her, was
that she, too, might still accomplish something for the
work so urgent in its claims upon her, by presenting it,
as occasion offered, among Christian women in her own
land. But she knew that her life was no longer in her
own hands to shape and direct as she might will; not
only was Keith now to be her care, her chief concern
and interest, but she looked forward to daughterly duties
toward his invalid mother, to whom it was in her mind
to minister with loving and faithful devotion.
As the train now drew into the Fulham station, Keith
remarked, casually:—
“There’s Foster, all right. I knew he would be on
hand.” And, looking from the car platform, Anna saw
a grey-haired man-servant in plain livery, who saluted
Keith respectfully as he hastened to the spot, and wore
an expression of solicitude and responsibility which
stamped him at once as an old family servant. As they
gave over their hand luggage to this man, and followed
him out to the street where a plain closed carriage stood
in waiting, an unostentatious “B” on the door showing
it to be private, a deep perplexity and confusion began to
rise in Anna’s mind. She had gradually become accustomed
135to the luxuries of the life in the Portland hotel,
and had regarded them as incident to the passage of a
grave crisis, and justified, perhaps, by the necessities of
the case; but she had not been interested in thinking
farther along the line of the Burgesses’ worldly status,
least of all minded to make it a matter of inquiry, consequently
the sight of the man-servant and the family
carriage smote her with a sharp sense of entering a new
and undreamed-of outward life. In them was the first
obvious token which had ever been given her of her
husband’s home surroundings and worldly position. A
vague anxiety and dread were awakened in Anna by
these small signs of a life and habit so widely at variance
with her own past of austere privation. She saw the
low white cottage figured heretofore in her thought, in
the narrow street, fading before her; the geraniums in
the window, the cat on the cushion, the braided mats, the
wooden rocking-chair, the little table with the Bible and
cough-drops, wavered in all their outlines, and fell like a
house of cards. How would it be with the figure of the
sweet, saintly, patient invalid to whom she was to minister?
Must that go too? Anna ceased to speculate, but
she sat silent beside her husband, and her heart beat hard.
When the carriage stopped, it was in a fine old quiet
street lined with substantial dwellings, and before a large
brick house painted a dull drab. The house stood with
its broad, low front close to the street; there were many
small-paned, shining windows, and a brass knocker on
the panelled black front door. Nothing could have been
plainer or less pretentious, and yet the house bore, to
Anna’s first intuitive perception, its own unmistakable
expression of decorous and inflexible dignity and quietly
cherished family pride.
136As they entered the wide, low-ceiled, oak-wainscoted
hall, a neatly dressed middle-aged woman advanced
and, speaking in a low voice to Anna, asked if she
would follow her up to her rooms, Keith introducing
her pleasantly as his mother’s indispensable Jane.
No one else was in sight; but Mrs. Burgess’s invalid
condition seemed to account sufficiently for this,
although Anna had supposed her able to move about
the house, and even to go out under favouring conditions.
Keith joined Anna on the stairs, taking her hand in
his. He smiled tenderly as he looked into her face, but
there was a nervous eagerness upon him which he could
not conceal. Was he thinking that he had chosen his
wife for far other scenes and a widely different life?
She could not tell.
“This was my old room, Anna,” Keith was saying
now, as they stood in the doorway of a spacious bedroom
with old-fashioned mahogany furniture and handsome but
faded chintz hangings. There was a marble chimney-piece,
over which hung a large picture of Keith, with a
boyish, eager face.
Jane now threw open a door from this room into
another of equal size.
“If you please, I was to tell you this is to be Mrs.
Burgess’s own sitting room,” she said respectfully, “and
the dressing room and bath beyond the bedroom will be
for your own use entirely after this,” and she crossed to
open another door.
Keith drew Anna on into the sitting room.
“Well, now, this is certainly very kind of my mother,”
he said, a flush of grateful pleasure rising in his sensitive
face. “See, Anna, this has always been the state apartment,
137the guest-chamber of the house, and she has had
it refitted for our use.”
“How very kind,” said Anna, warmly.
The room was, indeed, in its own manner, grave and
subdued, a luxurious parlour, with good pictures, handsome
hangings, and soft, pale-tinted carpet.
“I must go down at once and tell the dear mother
how we thank her,” said Keith, and Anna, left alone,
returned to the bedroom and began to remove her travelling
hat.
Jane was beside her at once, giving unneeded assistance.
“Shall I unpack for you directly?” she asked, looking
at Keith’s small trunk, which was quite adequate to
Anna’s few belongings, added to her husband’s. Anna
felt her colour deepen as she declined the offered help,
and sat down with a little sigh in a great easy-chair.
But she submitted perforce when the maid knelt at her
feet, and, quite as a matter of course, removed her shoes.
It was the first time since babyhood that this office had
been performed for Anna by other hands than her own,
and she felt all her veins tingle with a shy reluctance,
but sat motionless.
Rising, Jane looked about, Anna thought with a
shade of dissatisfaction that there was thus far so little
to be done, so scanty a display of the small belongings
of luxury.
“When you are ready to dress for dinner,” she said,
with a touch of coldness, “I will come if you will just
ring the bell. The bell is here,” and she indicated the
green twisted cord and heavy silk tassel at the head of
the bed. “Mrs. Burgess said she could spare me to
wait on you for what you needed to-night,” she added.
138“Thank you,” said Anna, gently, but with the quiet
unconscious loftiness of her own reserve. “Mrs. Burgess
is very good to think of it, but I am accustomed to
caring for myself, and so I shall not need to trouble
you.”
“Very well, that will be just as suits you, ma’am. I
should be pleased to wait on you any time Mrs. Burgess
doesn’t need me. Dinner will be at six o’clock, then,
if you please.” Thus saying the maid withdrew.
“Keith,” said Anna, with a perplexed countenance,
when a few moments later he joined her, “I find I
ought to dress for dinner, but I have nothing better to
wear than this black gown. You ought to have told me,
dear.”
Keith looked down at the straight fashionlessness of
Anna’s black figure with unconcealed concern.
“I ought to have thought,” he said, “but it never
occurred to me about your clothes. We must get you
a whole lot of new things straight away, dear. We will
do it together, and have a great time over it, won’t we?
And you will put off the black now for my sake? I
want to see you in wine-red silk and good lace.”
“Oh, Keith!” cried Anna, “I cannot imagine myself
masquerading like that. It would never do. But for
to-night—that is the trouble now.”
“Why, wear your wedding-gown, sweetheart; that is
just the thing. What luck that we did get that!” and
Keith was down on his knees before the trunk on the
instant, and soon produced the dress which, being of
fine white cashmere, with a little lace about the neck,
was, in fact, altogether appropriate.
Anna looked puzzled. It seemed to her almost
sacrilegious to put on that dress for everyday use, and
139the association with it made her shiver, even now, but
she did not dispute the matter.
Just before six o’clock Keith ushered his wife into
the library downstairs, where his mother sat waiting to
receive them. It was the sort of a library which Anna
had read of but had not seen—lined with books, furnished
with massive leather-covered chairs and darkly
gleaming mahogany, a dim old India carpet on the floor.
Anna saw by the shaded drop-light the form of a small
woman of fragile figure, dressed in silver-grey silk, with
a white shawl of cobweb fineness of texture about her
shoulders. There were several good diamonds at her
throat and on her hands, her grey hair was beautifully
dressed in soft waves and fastened with a quaint silver
comb of fine workmanship. Her face was pale and the
features delicately cut; her movement as she advanced
to meet Anna was slow, and, in spite of her diminutive
size, stately, and there was a crisp, frosty rustle of her
grey gown.
She took both Anna’s hands in hers with a cold, kind
smile, and kissed her twice on her forehead, Anna bending
low for the purpose. She seemed to be at an incalculable
height above the fine little lady, and singularly
young and immature. At twenty-two she had felt herself
a woman for long years, with her sober cares and
grave purposes; but to-night, before Keith’s mother, she
suddenly seemed to become a shy, undeveloped girl again.
While they spoke a little of the journey and the night,
Keith Burgess turned on his heel and affected to be examining,
with critical interest, an engraving above the
fireplace, which he had seen in the same spot all his life;
but he was watching them both aside narrowly as he
stood. He was perfectly satisfied.
140If Anna had been never so much prettier, and possessed
of all of Mally Loveland’s confident social facility; if
she had met his mother as the country girl of this type
would have done, with eager and affectionate appeal that
she should at once stand and deliver motherly sympathy
and affection in copious measure,—there would have been
only disappointment and chagrin. But Mrs. Burgess’s
bearing was not more reserved than that of her daughter-in-law.
At twenty-two Anna’s grave repose of manner
was in itself a distinction, and one which had its full
weight with the elder woman. Plainly, she had not a
gushing provincial beauty on her hands to curb and fashion
into form. As for good looks, there was a certain
angular grace already in figure, an unconscious dignity of
attitude and bearing which suited Keith’s mother, while
for her face, the eyes were good, the brow very noble,
and the expression peculiarly lofty. The succession of
strong and sudden emotional experiences through which
Anna had recently passed had wrought a subtle change
already in her face; there was less severity, less of hard,
conscientious rigour in its lines; a certain transparent,
spiritual illumination softened the profound sadness
which was her habitual expression.
At dinner, a delicately sumptuous meal, served with
some state, Anna acquitted herself perfectly, having the
instincts of good breeding, the habit of delicate refinement,
and having learned at Mrs. Ingraham’s table many
of the small niceties which she could hardly have acquired
in Haran.
Already, within the first hour, while seeing that her
mother-in-law had been physically entirely able to meet
her children at her door at their home-coming, Anna
perceived the inevitable consistency of her waiting to
141receive them in due form and order. Formality and
form were essentials of life in this house. This did not
oppress Anna particularly, and she liked to look at the
cameo-cut delicacy of Mrs. Burgess’s face. Still, perhaps
never in her life, never in the cheerless chambers
of Mrs. Wilson’s poor house, had Anna known the
homesickness with which she ate and drank—that
night at her husband’s table.
Poverty and obscurity were old and tried friends to
Anna; among them she would have been at home.
From wealth and social prominence she shrank with
instinctive dread and ingrained disfavour. The familiar
austerities of poverty were, to her, denotements of mental
elevation, while the indulgences of wealth bore to her
thought an almost vulgar pampering of appetite and
ministering to sense. The trained perfection of the
silent attentive service in itself was an offence to her.
Why should those people be turned into speechless automatons
to watch every wish and wait upon every need
of three other people no more deserving than themselves?
Could it ever seem right to her?
She excused herself early. Left alone with him, Mrs.
Burgess laid her small hand on Keith’s, saying without
warmth but with significant emphasis:—
“You have done very well, Keith, in marrying Miss
Mallison. I confess I was not without some apprehension
lest the wife who would have been a perfect helpmeet
and companion for you in the foreign field might
appear at some disadvantage in the life now before you
in the ordering of Providence.”
“Anna is so absolutely true, mother, that she cannot
be a misfit anywhere, except among false conditions.”
Mrs. Burgess bowed her head.
142“I can see that she is a thoroughly exemplary young
woman, and while she may have much to learn of social
conditions in a place like Fulham, the foundation is all
right.” She paused a little, and added reflectively: “Her
eyes and hands are extremely good. Her figure will
improve. I understand that her father belonged to the
Andover Mallisons.”
There was a little flicker of Keith’s eyelids, but he
made no reply, taking up casually from the table a book
at which he looked with mechanical indifference. It
was a volume of Barnes’s “Notes.” This much only
of Anna’s vision had had foundation.
143
For the most part people do not think at all. They have little phrases
and formulas which stand in their minds for thoughts and opinions, and they
repeat them parrotlike. Most of their notions and ideas and prejudices are
mere extraneous accretions, barnacled on to them by men and books in their
passage through life, as shells are on a vessel, but not growing out of them or
really belonging to them.—Anon.
Life in her creaking shoes
Goes, and more formal grows,
A round of calls and cues.
—W. E. Henley.
At the end of the week, on Saturday morning, Anna
Burgess was sitting on a low stool in the middle of her
bedroom, surrounded by a curious confusion and medley
of miscellaneous things. Before her was an open cedar
chest of large proportions; its pungent odour was mingled
with the spicy smell of winter apples, dried fruits, and
maple sugar. From the half unpacked chest, quilts of
calico patchwork and soft home-woven blankets were
overflowing; piles of snowy linen sheets and pillowcases,
finely hemstitched and bordered with delicate
thread-work, lay about the floor, together with body
linen of equal daintiness, and books in dull and faded
binding, while the red apples, rolled everywhere, studded
the confused array as commas do a printer’s page.
In the chest still lay some old-fashioned furs and
other clothing. Anna, as she sat, had her lap heaped
with a quantity of yellowed lace, and a number of small,
thin silver spoons. She was reading a letter, and, as she
read, unconsciously tears were running down her cheeks.
144“You must have known,” wrote Gulielma Mallison,
“that I could not let my dear daughter go empty-handed
to her new home. The box has been long,
however, in being made ready, but I know your husband
and his mother will make excuses, the marriage having
been so sudden. Lucia and I have taken comfort in
sorting out and preparing the things. The linen is,
much of it, what was left of my own bridal outfit,
but we have bleached it on the snow, and it is still
strong. The silver I have tried to divide equally among
you all. This is your portion. The little porringer, you
know, came over from Germany with my mother, then
the Jungfrau Benigna von Brosius.
“I regret that I am unable to provide you with more
dresses, etc., but there is little to do with and little to
choose from in Haran. Indeed, I hardly ever get to
Haran any more, my rheumatism is so bad, and the
going has been terrible this winter. We got Lucia’s
husband’s sister to buy the white cotton cloth, and sent
it back by Joseph when he went down with a load of
wood. The brown cloak I shall not be likely to need
any more, going out so seldom, and Lucia says she
doesn’t begrudge it to you at all, being much too long
for her, and it would be a shame to cut off any of that
material to waste. You know it is the best of camlet
cloth, and there is no wear out to it. I have given Lucia
the melodeon, and she says it is only fair that you should
have the cloak and the brown silk dress. We got
Amanda Turner to make that over for you by an old waist
we had of yours. She was here three days, right through
the worst snowstorm we have had all winter, and there
was nothing to interrupt us. We turned the silk and
made it all over. I think we succeeded pretty well.
145I thought you really ought to have one silk dress, now
you are going to live in this country. Of course you’ll
be invited out to tea some, there in Fulham. The
grey merino will do for afternoons. I made you four
aprons, two white, and two check to wear about your
work, and you’ll need them afternoons for taking care
of your husband’s mother. Please give her my best
respects. I send the dried fruit to her,—maybe it will
tempt her appetite a little,—and part of the maple sugar,
that in the little cakes. Lucia ran it for her especially.
We thought maybe they wouldn’t have it down there
in Fulham, that was pure.
“I am sorry we haven’t anything better to send Mr.
Burgess, but I put in your dear father’s quilted dressing-gown
as my particular present; his health being so poor,
Lucia and I thought it might be acceptable. The books
are for him, from your father’s library....”
The letter dropped in Anna’s lap, and covering her
face with both hands, she burst into passionate tears.
Her old life, in all its homely, simple sweetness called
her mightily, and the sharp sense of her own separation
from it now and forever tore her heart. Her mother’s
inability to comprehend the new conditions, the eager
self-sacrifice which had gladly shorn her own poor life
bare of every lingering superfluity of possession that she
might equip her child with such small dower as was
attainable, had to Anna a pathos which seemed almost
too poignant to endure. How well, oh, how well she
understood the planning and contriving, the simple joy
in each small new object gained; the delight which her
mother and Lucia had shared in picturing to themselves
her own grateful surprise in the manifold treasures stored
in the dear old chest, itself an heirloom of impressive
146value in the Mallison family. And she was grateful
beyond words to tell, and pleased and proud to come
thus set out to her husband; and yet, these possessions,
so unspeakably precious to her, would, she knew only
too well, wear a rustic and incongruous aspect in the
Burgess household. She knew that Keith and his mother
would be gentle and respectful in thought as in word,
but she knew the faint embarrassment which they would
try to conceal in receiving gifts for which they would
have no use; she knew the delicate, half-pitying, well-meaning
sympathy, which could never understand, try
as it would.
On Sunday morning, Anna attended church with her
husband and his mother for the first time, the latter
making a great effort, since church-going was far beyond
her usual invalid routine. When Anna presented herself
in the hall ready to start, Mrs. Burgess, or Madam
Burgess as she was generally styled after this time, had
bit her lip and almost gasped, such was her amazement
and dismay. However, she had said nothing, the situation
being plainly hopeless, and she sat in the carriage
in speechless anxiety, while Keith’s face reflected the
same emotion. He had felt it impossible to interfere
with Anna’s arraying herself as she had for church, seeing
with his sensitive perception that the garments fashioned
and sent her from her home by the hands of her
mother and sister, for such a time as this, were in her
eyes sacredly beyond criticism or cavil.
Anna now preceded him, following his mother, down
the broad aisle of the stately and well-filled church,
drawing to herself unconsciously the attention of many
eyes. She wore over the soft overshot silk gown the
brown camlet cloak which had formed in her mother’s
147eyes the chief glory of her simple trousseau. It was a
long, circular cape, falling to the hem of her dress,
drawn up about the throat and shoulders with quaint
smocking after a forgotten art, and tied with a long,
loose bow of changeable brown ribbon. The outlines
of this garment were so simple and so natural that it
could never, at any period or by any shift of fashion,
become awkward, but it had at that time an effect of
Puritan-like quaintness. She wore a dark, broad-brimmed
hat with falling plumes, according well in simplicity as
in colour with her cloak.
As she passed down to the Burgess pew, her height
and bearing, the flowing outline of her costume, the
purity and unconscious, childlike seriousness of her face
with its clear brune pallor, the steady light of her hazel
eyes, the lustreless masses of her dark hair, all combined
to make a singular impression of mediæval loveliness, of
something rare and fine and wholly distinct from the
prevalent type of women in the ambitious little city.
There were some who, seeing her, smiled and whispered
at the quaintness of her dress; there were others who
found their eyes irresistibly drawn again and again by
the picturesque harmony of her figure; there were one
or two persons who, watching the proud, pure severity
of her face as she sat with her soul lifted to God and
heedless of outward things, saw in her a woman fit for
reverence and wonder, one whose spirit had been most
evidently nourished on the greatness and simplicity of
spiritual realities, and who was yet untouched by “the
world’s slow stain.”
And so it came about that Keith Burgess and his
mother, who had been dismayed at the lack of conformity
to fashion in Anna’s dress at this first appearance in
148their world, found themselves met, the service over, by
men and women who had admiration and interest, sober
and sincere, to express, and much to say aside of the
singular distinction, the aristocratic dignity and charm,
of the bride. Madam Burgess was not slow to produce
the good points of Anna’s ancestry of which she had
quickly possessed herself, thus enhancing the favourable
impression, and she was ready to accept Anna, cloak
and all, herself, when the son of one of Fulham’s leading
men, Pierce Everett, an artist newly returned from Paris,
came to her with a respectful but eager wish that Mrs.
Keith Burgess would at some future day grant him the
notable favour of sitting to him for some saint’s face and
figure.
There was a little crowd about them as they passed
out to their carriage, and much kind and deferential courtesy
pressing upon Anna’s notice. A group of young
girls on the church steps watched her with shy, awed
glances, and murmured to each other that they adored
her, she was so different from any bride they had ever
seen; she was grave and quiet, and something of pathos
and mystery seemed to remove her far from the conscious,
fluttering pink-and-white brides of their experience.
The young artist, Pierce Everett, joined a friend, a
professor of literature in the local university, Nathan
Ward, as he walked away from the church.
“What a study for a saint!” he exclaimed, with
enthusiasm. “I did not suppose there was such a
woman left in the world. Where can she have been
saved up to keep that super-earthly look?”
Professor Ward smiled. After a silence he said,—
“Here’s a conundrum, if it is Sunday: Why is Keith
Burgess like St. Francis of Assisi?”
149The answer not being forthcoming, Professor Ward
presently volunteered it.
“Because he has espoused Poverty, Chastity, and
Obedience. In Mrs. Keith these three are one.”
Fulham was a small city with a college of no great
reputation, which called itself a university by reason of
having a divinity school affiliated. Furthermore it was
a seaboard town and had had a large shipping trade in
former years, now slowly dying a natural death. The
aristocratic circle of Fulham—there was but one—was
as definitely marked and as strongly defended from
invasion as it is possible for such a circle to be, even
in an old New England town. In fact, it existed more
obviously for its own defence and preservation from the
ineligible than for any other reason; and only two classes
of citizens were eligible,—namely, those who had some
connection with “the university,” and those who inherited
either poverty or riches from ancestors engaged
in foreign commerce. These two agreed in one, and
agreed to rule out all others. Thus the aristocratic
circle was necessarily small and its social functions
painfully mechanical and monotonous; its maidens
were proverbially lacking in personal charms, and its
young men, with rare exceptions, fled, escaping to more
interesting and varied scenes; but it was supremely satisfied,
rejoiced in the distinction of its unattainable exclusiveness,
and looked with cold and unrelenting disfavour
upon all strangers, newcomers, or fellow-citizens, however
meritorious, who failed to possess the sole claims to its
ranks.
Madam Burgess enjoyed a double title to membership
in this exclusive circle. Her fathers before her, for several
150generations, had been shipowners residing in the
house now her own, to which her husband, the Reverend
Elon Burgess, had come, as an eminently suitable
adjunct upon their marriage. Mr. Burgess had filled a
minor chair in the divinity school for the ten years of
their married life; he had not filled even this particularly
well, being a man of small calibre, lacking in any trace
of original power or talent, but his name was in the
university catalogue, and hence his place in the ranks
of Fulham’s high social circle safe forever. But, although
of limited ability, Professor Burgess was fine of grain and
fine of habit, and sincerely pious in a day when to be
called pious did not awaken a smile. In the fear and
faith of God and in true humility he had lived and
died, leaving perhaps no very large and irreparable
vacancy, and no overwhelming sense of loss or desolation
even to his wife and son, and still having borne—
“without reproach
The fine old name of gentleman.”
As a girl Sarah Keith had given satisfactory evidence
of a “change of heart,” and in a time of profound missionary
awakening she had declared herself strongly in
sympathy with foreign missions. To the position thus
taken she had consistently adhered. All boards and auxiliaries
to which she was available claimed her name on
their lists. Missionary literature was always scattered
abundantly in her library, her gifts were large, and her
allegiance to religious interests was so completely taken
for granted that it would no more have been questioned
in Fulham than her place in its aristocracy. Certainly
she never doubted herself that she was essentially a
religious woman. Nevertheless, religion, whether personal
151or in its outreaching toward a world which she
would have unhesitatingly called “lost,” consisted for
her now in a series of mechanical observances, and in
tenacious orthodoxy of opinion it had become a dry
husk enclosing a dead seed. The brief blossoming of
the religious impulse of her young years over, she had
fixed her affections on the small adventitious trappings
of “this transitory life,” and denied unconsciously the
power of that other life, the form of which she so punctiliously
maintained.
Her invalidism was becoming, not inconvenient on
the whole, and not wholly imaginary. Such was the
woman who was now by the ordering of Providence to
rule and direct the unfoldings of Anna’s early womanhood,
since Keith Burgess cherished a respect and
submission to his mother which would have found
something akin in Chinese ancestor-worship. He had
reproduced in his own young life his mother’s early
missionary fervour; that it was long dead in her case
he did not suspect. With Keith this experience had received
a strong accent from the temper of his college
life, and from the possibility of an actual dedication of
himself to the missionary vocation. It had thus become,
as we have seen, for a time nobly and completely dominant
with him, the strongest passion his life had known.
He was himself surprised to find, on his reaction from
the crisis of loss and disappointment connected with his
illness and the abandonment of a missionary career, how
natural and, on the whole, how satisfactory it was to
settle back into his own place in his old home, to fall
back into the small, comfortable interests of Fulham,
and to find full soon an aspect of unreality and even of
incongruity clothing his former ardent dream.
152Not so Anna.
The ordered precision, the formal, stiff monotony,
repeated day after day in her husband’s home, the cold,
conventional courtesies, the absence of any purpose save
to maintain things in existing form without progress or
alteration, for a time exerted upon her an almost paralyzing
effect. A torpid dulness, a physical oppression,
came upon her when shut up alone to the companionship
of Madam Burgess, against which she found it
impossible to struggle successfully. Accustomed to
serious mental work, to much strenuous bodily labour,
to the wholesome severity of long walks in all weathers,
and more than all to the stimulus of a great, immediate
purpose ennobling every homeliest task and smallest service,—the
present life of inaction, of sluggish ease, of
absence of responsibility of motive or purpose, was like
the life of a prison. A heavy, spiritless apathy overbore
every motion to fresh endeavour or to new hopes and
incitements. She “fluttered and failed for breath,” and
at times her heart seemed bursting with its longing, the
old wild, girlish longing, grown still and deep, for freedom
and for power.
With mechanical indifference she accompanied Madam
Burgess on her daily drives, paid and received visits,
shopped, and attended the various prescribed social
functions, read aloud to Keith, and made a feint of embroidering
the great ottoman cover which her mother-in-law
had contrived for her leisure. It was a stag’s
head with impossible square eyes, the head partially
surrounded by a half-wreath of oak leaves and acorns,
staring out of an illimitable field of small red stitches,
numberless as the sands of the seashore, and significant,
Anna thought wearily, of her endless, monotonous hours.
153All the while, just below the surface, repeated
through the long days, was the bitter conflict of her
spirit, her perpetual, unanswered questioning, Why had
God thus dealt with her? Why, with all power
to save or heal, had he permitted the illness to come
upon Keith which had thus brought to naught what
she had supposed was the very and sacred purpose of
her creation.
Upon the intensity of youth and a nature of profound
and passionate earnestness this thwarting of her dedicated
purpose, this apparent rejection of herself from the service
of God, worked piteous havoc. Anna did not grow
sullen or rebellious, but she felt her whole interior life
to be in hopeless confusion. Her sense of an immediate
and personal relation to a fatherly God had suffered something
like an earthquake shock. All the high faith, the
sacred and filial purpose, the profound self-dedication of
her girlhood, seemed to have been flung aside by the God
whom she had sought to know and serve, with cold, blank
indifference, without sign or suggestion of pity, of love,
or of amends. The God of whom Mrs. Westervelt had
taught her, a conception which she had gradually absorbed
and assimilated as her own, a God closer than
breathing, nearer than hands and feet, to whom the heart
was never lifted in vain, whose presence could be indubitably
felt and known, who answered every holy and
devout prayer of his children, and who led them immediately
in every thought and action—where was he?
Either he existed only in imagination, or she was herself
rejected by him as unworthy; and, in a depth below
the depth of burning grief, she saw her father likewise
despised and rejected.
A great protest, honest and indignant, rose up in
154Anna’s heart. She knew that, as far as mortal man
could be holy and harmless in the eyes of his God, her
father had been; and she knew that her own purposes
had been blameless and sincere. She refused to quibble
with herself in regard to these facts; something staunch
and sturdy in her mental constitution—not obstinacy,
not pride, but sheer inward honesty—refused to seek
accommodation in any forced paroxysm of humility or
blind submission. With a sorrow which a lighter nature
could not have comprehended, but with characteristic
conclusiveness, she said to herself, the stress of her
inward conflict spent, “I do not know God,” and
composed her spirit in silence to wait.
At the end of a month Keith returned to his class in
the Massachusetts Divinity School, with which he was
to graduate in June. Immediately thereafter he expected
to enter upon the duties of his missionary secretaryship,
and make his home in Fulham with his wife and
mother.
Thrown thus upon the sole companionship of Madam
Burgess, and forced either to make the best of the situation
or to appear the crude, undisciplined provincial
who sullenly refuses to adapt herself to new conditions,
Anna’s native good sense came to her rescue. With
strong will she crowded down her mental conflict, while
with conscientious earnestness she addressed herself to
the duty of making herself a cheerful and sympathetic
companion to her husband’s mother, and of filling the
social position in which she was undeniably placed, however
inscrutable the reasons therefor. New influences
came out to meet and win her on every side, and she
responded with a social grace, and even facility, which
amazed all who had seen her first as the cold, pale, silent
155girl whose marriage altar had seemed rather an altar of
sacrifice.
An effect of singular charm was produced by this
new mental attitude, the opening out of a nature until
now so closely sealed. The native seriousness, the fine,
direct simplicity, of Anna’s girlhood remained; but they
seemed flooded with a new and warmer light, welcome
as daily sunshine while the hardness, the rigour, and the
severity melted away. She submitted without further
protest to the comparative luxury of her surroundings,
found it surprisingly agreeable, and discovered a fresh,
forgotten joy in simple physical existence, which carried
her bravely through the long, dull days of the Burgess
order of life.
Notwithstanding all these things, below the surface of
her life, often below the surface of her thought, lay an
unplumbed depth of spiritual loneliness, a sense of double
orphanhood, a voice which cried and would not be
stilled; for while men and women had come near, of
God she had become shy, feeling toward him as toward
a dearest friend grown cold.
But one night, as she lay alone and wakeful, tears
painful, not easily flowing, wetting her pillow, a sudden
thought stung her by its throbbing wonder and delight,
seeming great enough to reconcile all things, even God,
who had filled her with bitterness, and hedged her about
in all her ways.
She said to herself, “It may be I shall have a child,”
and the deep places of her nature called to each other in
joy and exultation; and she knew that, if this grace
should be given her, all would yet be clear, and she could
still believe in God’s love, and in his purpose in her
life.
156So, blindly groping through the rough and thorny
way by which humanity has sought God through many
ages, this human soul, sincere and humble, perpetuated
the heart-breaking fallacy of conditioning the Divine
Love, the Eternal Power and Godhead, on the small
mutations of her own life, seen at short range.
157
Affections, Instincts, Principles, and Powers,
Impulse and Reason, Freedom and Control—
So men, unravelling God’s harmonious whole,
Rend in a thousand shreds this life of ours.
Vain labour! Deep and broad, where none may see,
Spring the foundations of that shadowy throne
Where man’s one nature, queen-like, sits alone,
Centred in a majestic unity.
—Matthew Arnold.
To some minds there is nothing more pathetic in
human experience than the patient resignation with
which average men and women accommodate themselves
to the most disastrous and distorting of griefs
and disappointments, nothing more amazing than their
power to endure. If something of the brute nature is
in us all, it is not always and altogether the animalhood
of greed or of ferocity, but far more commonly the
mute, uncomprehending submission of sheep and oxen.
Though the futility of revolt is so apparent, the infrequency
of it in human lives does not cease to surprise.
The modern Rachel mourns for her children, and will
not be comforted, but she goes about the streets in conventional
mourning, orders her house with decent regularity,
and probably, in the end, goes abroad for a time,
and returning, enters with apparent cheerfulness into the
social round. The modern Guelph or Ghibelline, banished
from the political or intellectual activities which
made life to him, finds readily that raving against time
and fate is no longer good form, reads his daily paper
158with unabated interest, and enjoys a good dinner with
appetite unimpaired. Very probably the man’s and the
woman’s heart is broken in each instance, but what
then? Life goes on, and the resiliency of the mainspring
in a well-adjusted piece of human mechanism
may be usually guaranteed, with safety, to last a lifetime.
In a year after her marriage Anna Burgess was diligently
at work along the conventional lines of activity of
her day for religious young women at home,—writing
missionary reports, distributing literature, collecting dues.
She saw nothing better to do. Her own private and
innermost relation to God, it was true, had been dislocated,
but the heathen remained to be saved.
One morning, Keith being away from home, Anna
came into Madam Burgess’s sitting room, her cheeks
slightly flushed, her eyes shining, a letter in hand.
“May I read you this?” she asked eagerly; “I have
been invited to give an address at the foreign missionary
conference next month in H——. What if I could!
I should be so glad.” Her eyes told the new and eager
hope which this summons had stirred within her.
An added degree of frost settled upon her mother-in-law’s
face.
“You can hardly mean, Anna,” she said, “that you
would be willing to speak in public?”
“But our missionaries do, and sometimes others,”
Anna replied anxiously.
“The case of missionaries is, of course, entirely exceptional;
and they should never be heard, in my opinion,
before mixed audiences. As for other women making
spectacles of themselves, it would seem to be enough to
remind you, Anna, of the words of the Apostle Paul on
159that subject. You would hardly attempt, I think, to
explain them away.”
Anna was silent.
“A woman who has a noble Christian husband, my
dear,” continued Madam Burgess, more gently, feeling
her case now won, “as you have, who is already at work
in this very field of labour, has no occasion to leave the
sacred shelter of her own home, and lift up her voice
and exhibit her person in public gatherings.”
“Keith always said that I might still have a chance
to do a little work in this way; I am sure he approved,”
and Anna’s low voice faltered, her heart full just then of
the memory of those first days of their common sorrow.
“You have a very indulgent husband, and it is not
strange if, in the first fond days of your married life, he
may have unwisely yielded to some mistaken sense of
duty on your part, and apparently committed himself to
a purpose which he would later realize to be impracticable.
Understand me clearly, my dear,” and the term
of endearment sounded, from Madam Burgess’s lips, as
sharp as the point of an icicle, “my son’s wife can never,
without flying in the face of all her holiest obligations,
both to God and man, present herself before an audience
of people as a public speaker. A woman who does this
violates the very law of her being, she ceases to be
womanly, ceases to be modest, and loses all that feminine
delicacy which is woman’s chief ornament.”
The finality of these remarks clearly perceived, Anna
rose from her chair, and left the room in silence. She
never returned to the subject, but simply buried in her
heart one more high hope of service.
This was the first time that Anna’s inexperience and
young ardour had joined direct issue with Madam Burgess’s
160social creed. For a while everything had gone so
smoothly that Anna’s first sense of disparity had been
soothed to rest; all things being new, she had failed to
see the full significance of certain limitations which
hedged her in. Little by little she learned this, and
learned the inevitable submission. She never appealed
to Keith from his mother, controlled by a sense of the
essential ugliness and vulgarity of a domestic situation
in which the different elements are working and interworking
at variance with each other. Furthermore, she
learned very soon that, however sympathetic and gentle
Keith might show himself toward her, he would, in
the end, range himself on his mother’s side of every
question.
Stratagem and indirection were alike alien to Anna’s
nature and habit, but she inevitably learned, in process
of time and experience, to avoid leading Madam Burgess
to a declaration of definite positions, while she sought to
enlist her husband’s sympathies in her own undertakings
before his mother was made acquainted with them. Any
plan which was brought before her by her son was comparatively
acceptable to the elder woman. Thus wisely
ordering her goings as women learn to do, Anna succeeded
in reaching a fair degree of independence and at the same
time a harmonious outward order. Her sacrifices and
disappointments, the gradual paring down of her larger
hopes and the dimming of her finer aspirations, she kept
to herself.
Pierce Everett, the young artist who had spoken of
Anna’s fitness for a model of a saint, had carried out
his purpose, and had formally requested her to pose for
him. With the cordial approval of both Madam Burgess
and Keith, Anna had consented, and late in the winter
161the sittings began in Everett’s studio, which was in his
father’s house. Madam Burgess brought Anna to the
house for the first sitting. They were received by the
mother of the artist, an intimate friend of Madam Burgess,
and the older ladies then laughingly gave Anna over into
Everett’s hands while they enjoyed a discussion of certain
benevolent committee matters.
In the studio a little talk ensued regarding the projected
sittings, and various considerations involved in
them. These matters understood, Anna said composedly:—
“I am ready, Mr. Everett, if you will tell me just
what you wish. I do not even know for what I am to
be painted.”
“And you will not object, Mrs. Burgess,” said
Everett, quickly, “if I do not tell you now? It is in
a character which could not, I am sure, displease you,
but I think it would be decidedly better that we should
not discuss it, and that you should have no definite
thought of it. Is this satisfactory to you?”
“Entirely so.”
“Very well.”
Immediately upon this Everett took his place at the
easel and began a first rapid sketch of Anna’s head. He
was a slight fellow, below the medium height, with a
delicate, almost transparent face, a red Vandyke beard,
and large and brilliant brown eyes. Quick and nervous
in speech and gesture, he had the clear-cut precision of a
man who knows both his means and his end.
Anna thought him very interesting.
At the second sitting their talk chanced to turn upon
the relation of the ideals of men and women to their
practical lives, and Everett told Anna the old story of
162Carcassonne, which was new to her. The train of
thought thus suggested soon absorbed her, so that she
forgot him and what he was doing. The sacred hope
of her own life, yet unfulfilled, still centring in the hope
of her father, the ever receding purpose of which she
never spoke, cast its powerful influence upon her.
For half an hour neither spoke. Then Everett’s
friend, Professor Ward, came into the room in familiar
fashion, and the two men talked of many things.
When Anna left Nathan Ward said, looking over his
friend’s shoulder:—
“If you can keep that look, you will make a great
picture.” Then he added, “But don’t fail to get her
hands. They have the same expression.”
After that it became an habitual thing for Ward to
drop into the studio at these sittings. It never occurred
to Anna that her presence had anything to do with his
coming. She supposed he had always come. He talked
very little with her, but she liked to listen to his talk
with Everett. It was distinctly novel to her—light,
rambling, touch-and-go, and yet full of underlying
thought and suggestion. Anna had known few men
at best, none of the order to which these two belonged,
men conversant with art and literature, music and
poetry, and modern life on all its sides. Much that
they said puzzled and perplexed her, but she found an
eager enjoyment in it.
Then one day Professor Ward said to her, apropos of
Shelley, of whom they had been speaking:—
“You do not join in this discussion, Mrs. Burgess.
I am quite sure you could give us opinions much wiser
than ours.”
Anna’s colour deepened as she answered:—
163“I have not read Shelley in a great many years. Indeed,
I know nothing of literature.”
There was a little silence; Anna hesitated, half
inclined to say a word in explanation of a fact which
she plainly saw the two men found very surprising, but
finally, finding the explanation too personal and too serious,
remained silent.
As she started to walk home from the Everett’s, Professor
Ward joined her, asking to walk with her. He
was a man of forty, with a wife and a flock of little
children. Anna knew the family slightly, but pleasantly.
“Mrs. Burgess,” the professor began, as they walked
down the quiet street, “I do not want to intrude or to
be found inquisitive, but I am so puzzled by what you
said a little while ago that I really wish you felt inclined
to enlighten me. I know you never speak with the
exaggeration and inaccuracy which is so much the habit
of young ladies, and so I accept what you said as to your
ignorance of literature as sober truth. But you are a
well-educated woman. How can it be?”
Anna was almost glad of a chance to explain. She
was facing many new questions in these days, and she
felt the need of light. She answered therefore at once,
with frankness:—
“I deliberately gave up study on all these lines when
I became a Christian. I supposed them to be contrary
to the absolute consecration of my life to God.”
Professor Ward looked perplexed.
“You cannot understand,” Anna said timidly. “I
have felt since I have been in Fulham as if the language
of my religious life in those days would be an unknown
tongue here. I see that I am right. To you, Professor
Ward, I am sure such a sense of duty as I speak of is
164unintelligible, but I can still say it was sincere. And it
was not an easy sacrifice to make, for I had already
grown fond of poetry, and longed to know more in a
way I could never express.”
“I see,” said her companion, gravely; “you felt that
the study of the work of men like most of our poets,
whose religious positions were vague and not formulated
according to our creeds, was likely to act unfavourably
upon your spiritual life and experience.”
“Yes. To divide my heart, to dim my sense of a
one, single aim in life.”
“And that aim?”
“To serve God directly in every thought and word.
That, and to try to save the souls of the lost.”
Professor Ward had no key to the profound sadness
with which Anna spoke, but he watched her face with
earnest interest. She spoke with the unconsciousness
of absolute sincerity. He was reflecting, however, on
how much easier life might be if one could sustain, undisturbed,
such bare simplicity of conception of human
relations.
“And so,” he said slowly, “you were going to
prune away every instinct, every faculty of your nature
which did not serve the immediate purpose of
furthering what men call sometimes ‘the cause of religion,’
and know and feel and be one thing only?”
Anna bent her head in assent.
“That is precisely what men and women do who
seek monastic life.”
Anna looked up at Professor Ward in quick surprise
and instinctive protest.
“Yes,” he said, with emphasis, “it was just as noble
and just as cowardly, just as weak and just as strong, as
165the impulses which make monks and nuns. It is what
people do who are afraid of life, who do not dare to
encounter the whole of it, who have not reached the
highest faith in either God or man.”
“Then you think such a resolution, such a scheme
of life, produces weak natures, not strong ones?” asked
Anna, looking up with her honest, steadfast gaze into
his eyes.
“I should say narrow natures, and yet I fear I ought
to say weak ones too. Mrs. Burgess, do you not see
yourself the weakness, the narrowness, of the position?
It is what might be called the department system of
human life,” and Professor Ward, with rapid gestures,
indicated the drawing of sharp lines. “It is as if you
said to your ego, your soul—yourself—whatever,—Go
to now, this department of your life is religious; it
sings hymns, reads a collection of sacred writings at regular
hours, prays, gives away money to build churches,
and performs various other exercises definitely stamped
as godly. This other department loves nature, exults in
beauty, pours itself into poetic thought, rejoices in music,
expresses itself in art: but all this is secular, pagan—all
men may have this in common who have not accepted
my particular conception of the divine nature and its
dealings with men; consequently all this is to be cut off—effaced,
fought with to the death. Am I right?”
Anna nodded, her face very grave, her breath quickened.
“Does that seem to you a reasonable or even a noble
conception? There was nobleness, I grant you, in the
struggle, just as there was in the fortitude of the Spartans;
but who feels now a desire to imitate that sheer,
barbaric effacing of human feeling? No, no. That
166day has passed. We can begin to see life whole to-day;
we can see God in nature, in poetry, in beauty, in ugliness
even. He is all and in all. All things are ours
and we are God’s! I wish I could make this clear to
you.”
“You have, in part,” said Anna, simply.
“No way, however tortuous, by which men have
groped after God can be indifferent to us, if we have the
right sense of humanity. Trust yourself, Mrs. Burgess;
trust the human heart throughout the ages. Believe me,
with all the drawbacks, all the falls, and all the blunders,
it has been an honest heart and is worthy of reverence
and devout study. ‘Trust God: see all, nor be
afraid.’”
“I have seen only one side of life, one conception of
human nature.”
“That, at least, was a high and lofty one. For stern
heroism of thought, commend me to that old New England
Calvinism in which I see you were nurtured. It
was fine; I glory in it, just as I glory in heroism everywhere,
builded up on however mistaken a foundation.
The worst of it, however, is that it completely deceives
the human heart as to itself. It is terrible in its power
to mislead. The elect are not as elect by half as they
suppose. Calvin himself helped to burn Servetus, which
was not really fine of him, you know. But I have said
enough. I hope I have not wounded you?”
“I do not think so,” said Anna, smiling faintly, “but
I am amazed beyond everything. All that you say is
so new.”
They had reached Professor Ward’s house, which
was very near that of Madam Burgess.
“I wish you would come in a moment,” said Ward,
167very gently; “you know my wife always likes to see
you, and I want to show you some books in which I
think you would be interested.”
Without reply, Anna passed through the gate which
he held open for her, and they entered the house together.
Mrs. Ward met them, and they all went into
the professor’s study.
In a few moments Anna was lost in the realm of
books so long self-closed to her experience. She sat at
his desk, and Ward handed her and heaped about her
rare and beautiful volumes until she became bewildered
with the sense of intellectual richness and complexity.
She looked up at last, as he bent over her, turning the
leaves of a beautiful old Italian edition of Dante’s
“Commedia,” and, with a smile beneath which her lips
trembled, she asked, like a child:—
“Tell me truly, is all this for me, righteously,
safely?”
“Did I not tell you?” he asked gently. “‘All things
are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.’”
With that day Anna returned to the long-sealed books
of her father’s love and her own. She read and studied
under Professor Ward’s guidance and direction, steadily
and with eager delight. She did this with no further
misgiving or doubt. He had succeeded in satisfying her
conscience, and she moved joyfully along the clear lines
of her inherited intellectual choice.
As for her father and the example of renunciation he
had given her, her heart was at rest. That which was
perfect being come for him, was not that which had
been in part done away?
168
Are you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
· · · · ·
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloyed satisfaction?
· · · · ·
Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?
—Walt Whitman.
In her sittings in the studio of Pierce Everett, Anna
had found from time to time numbers of an English
magazine devoted to social reform. Some of these, at
Everett’s suggestion, she had taken home with her and
read with care. Coming to the studio one May afternoon,
for the work had been laid aside for a time for
various reasons, and only resumed with the spring, Anna
laid down on a table three or four of these magazines
with the remark:—
“I wish I knew who John Gregory is.”
Everett glanced up quickly.
“I mean the man who wrote those articles on the
‘Social Ideals of Jesus,’” added Anna.
“Do you like them?” asked Everett.
“I do not know how to answer that question,” said
Anna, musingly; “perhaps you hardly can say you like
what makes you thoroughly uncomfortable. What he
says of the immorality of a life of selfish ease appeals to
me powerfully.”
169“It is a great arraignment,” said Everett, working on
in apparent absorbedness.
“What stirs me so deeply,” continued Anna, “is
that this writer not only says what I believe to be true,
but that he makes you feel a sense of power, authority,
finality almost, in the way he says it. And by that, you
know, I do not mean that he is authoritative or autocratic;
it is simply that he writes as one who sees, who
knows, who has gone beyond the mists of doubt and has
a clear vision.”
“You are quite right, Mrs. Burgess,” said Everett,
quietly, looking up from his work, his eyes kindling
with unwonted light. “John Gregory is a man of his
generation—a seer; as you say, one who sees. He is
my master. You did not know, perhaps, that I am a
socialist?”
“No,” Anna said simply; “I do not even rightly
know what a socialist is.”
“It is, as far as my personal definition is concerned,—there
are a dozen others,—a man who believes that
the aim of individual and private gain and advantage,
to the ignoring of the interests of his fellow-men, is
immoral; this, whether it is the struggle for the man’s
salvation in a future life, or his social or material advancement
in this.”
Anna looked very sober. In a moment of silence,
she was asking herself, “I wonder what becomes of
people who are forced into lives of selfish inaction;
who have to live luxuriously when they don’t want to;
who are obliged to go in carriages when they far prefer
walking; and who find their hands tied whenever they
seek any line of effort not absolutely conventional?”
Looking up then with a sudden smile, she exclaimed,
170“I should like to ask this Mr. Gregory a few questions!”
“Perhaps you may be able to some time. He is in
this country now, and he is so good as to honour me
with his personal friendship. However, he passes like
night from land to land; one can never count upon his
coming, or plan for his staying an hour. But if I
can bring it about, Mrs. Burgess, you shall meet some
time.”
“Thank you. What is he? A clergyman, a teacher,
or what?”
“You found something a little sermonic in his articles?”
and Everett smiled. “I believe he can never
throw it off entirely. He is an Oxford man, a scholar,
and a writer on sociology. He is first and last and
always, however, a Christian in the purest and most
practical sense.”
“That seemed to me unmistakable.”
“He used to be a preacher; in fact, he was for a number
of years a famous evangelist in England, and also
in this country. He was led into that work by a sense
of obligation. I should almost think you must have
heard of his wonderful success. John Gregory—his
name was in everybody’s mouth a few years ago.”
Anna tried to recall some vague sense of association
with the name, which failed to declare itself plainly.
“He was holding great revival meetings somewhere
in New England, simply sweeping everything before
him; all the great cities were seeking him, you know
his income could have been almost anything he would
have made it. All this I know, but I never heard a
word of it from Gregory himself.”
“He is not doing this still?”
171“I will tell you. Really to understand, you must try
to imagine something of the man’s personality. He has
in the highest degree that indefinable quality which we
usually call magnetism. He has an almost irresistible personal
influence with many people. Well, on a certain
night, four or five years ago, I should think, during the
course of a most successful meeting, it suddenly became
clear to him that he was bringing the people in that audience
to a religious crisis, and to a committal of themselves
to a profession of a knowledge of God, by doubtful means.
I cannot tell you the details, I have forgotten them; but
I know that he went through something like agony in
that meeting, and that in saying the words ‘The Spirit
is here,’ he had an overwhelming sense of presumption
and even of blasphemy. He did not know that the
Spirit was present. He was not sure but the influence
at work was the product of music, of oratory, of his
own will and personality, of the contagion of an excited
crowd—in short, was purely human. If this were so,
what could the results be but confusion and dismay
when the hour of reaction should come? He was
borne down by a sense of pity and remorse even for
the coming spiritual doubts and struggles of the people
who were at that hour placed almost helplessly in his
hands, and abruptly he left the place—hall, whatever
it was. That night in his hotel he made no attempt
to sleep, but studied the situation, its dangers, its losses,
its benefits, with the result that he never again held that
order of revival meetings. Whatever good other men
might do with the forces at work and put into their
hands to wield at such crises, for himself he was convinced
that the human had usurped the divine, and made
of him, not only an unauthorized experimenter with
172souls, but a violator of their sacred rights, albeit hitherto
unconsciously to himself.”
“What has he been doing since?”
“Studying. He has gone deeply into social and religious
problems, has travelled largely, has seen and talked
with many of the most famous leaders of modern thought,
and I think he has now some large plans which are
maturing slowly. Meanwhile he writes such things as
you have read.”
The following week Anna was again in Everett’s
studio. This sitting, he promised her as it drew to a
close, should be the last, as he could finish the picture
without her.
“Am I to see it now?” asked Anna, timidly.
“Not quite yet, if you can be patient still after such
long forbearance,” was the answer, given with a bright
but half-pleading smile. “I want you to like the thing
if you can, Mrs. Burgess, and I know my chances are
better if you see it when the final touches are on.”
“Very well. I am not in a hurry.”
When Anna left the studio the sun was low and the
room fast growing shadowy. Seeing how hard and intensely
Everett was working to use the last light of the
day, she insisted that he should not come down the three
long flights of stairs with her. The studio was at the
top of the house. They parted, therefore, with a brief,
cordial good-by, and earnest thanks from the young
artist, whose admiration and reverence for his model had
grown with every hour spent in her presence.
On the second flight of stairs Anna encountered the
housemaid coming up, a tray with a card in her hand.
Otherwise the house seemed strangely still and deserted
that evening. As she descended slowly from the broad
173landing of the main staircase, where a window of stained
glass threw a deep radiance from the western sky like a
shaft of colour down into the dim hall below, Anna perceived
that some one stood there, waiting.
As she looked, amazement and a strange, deep joy took
hold on her. The man who stood with arms crossed
upon his breast where the shaft of light fell full upon
him in the gathering shadow was of heroic height and
stature, with a large leonine head, grey hair thrown carelessly
from his forehead, strong features, and eyes stern
and grave in their fixed look straight before him as he
stood.
It was not the first time that Anna Mallison had confronted
this face. Twice in her girlhood she had seen
it as she saw it now. It was the face of her dream, the
dream which for years secretly dominated her inner life
as a vision of human power and greatness touched with
supernatural light. Even in later time, in this year of
her Fulham life, she had at intervals recalled that presence
and influence distinctly, and never without quickened
pulses and mysterious longing. And now she saw
bodily before her the very shape and substance of her
dream.
With her heart beating violently and her breath painfully
quickened, she proceeded down the stairs, through
the hall, and so past the place where the stranger stood.
When she reached him he became aware of her presence
for the first time. Throwing back his head slightly with
the action of one surprised, he met Anna’s eyes lifted
with timid joy and dreamlike appeal to his face, and
smiled, bending slightly as if in spiritual bestowment, and
shedding into her heart the inexplicable delight which
she had known before only as the effluence of a dream.
174Neither spoke. The house door opened and closed,
and Anna hastened down the street alone under the
pale, clear sky, with a sense that the greatest event of
her life had befallen her, but she knew not what it was.
As she went on her homeward way she seemed to herself
to be palpably taken up and borne onward by a power
beyond herself, as of some rushing, mighty “wind of
destiny.”
She found her husband at home, alone in the dusky
library by an oppressive fire. She wanted to tell him
what had happened; but when she sought to do this she
found that nothing had happened; there was nothing to
tell unless she should seek to put into words that mysterious
dream of her past, and this she found impossible.
The dream was her own. No one else could understand.
Keith had returned from a long and tiresome journey
in her absence, and Anna was filled with penitence that
she had not been in the house to receive him and make
him comfortable. He looked worn and dispirited, and
complained of the weather, which she had thought celestial,
but which prostrated his strength.
In her quiet, skilful way she ministered to him, hiding
in her heart the deep happiness in which no one
could share, and as she bathed his head he caught her
hand and kissed it.
“Oh, my wife,” he said, so low that she could hardly
hear, “you are too beautiful, too wonderful for a miserable
weakling of a man like me; but how I love you,
Anna! Tell me that I do not spoil your life.”
175
I am holy while I stand
Circumcrossed by thy pure hand;
But when that is gone again,
I, as others, am profane.
—Robert Herrick.
John Gregory stood in the studio with his friend,
the first greetings over.
“May I look at your work?” he asked, approaching
Everett’s easel. The younger man stood behind him
with sensitive, changing colour, and something almost
like trepidation in the expression of his face.
There was a certain quality of command in John
Gregory, of which he was himself, perhaps, usually
unconscious, which produced in many minds a disproportionate
anxiety to win his approval. As he stood
now before Everett’s easel, however, he was not the
awe-inspiring figure of Anna’s dream, or even of its
sudden fulfilment, but simply an English gentleman in
his rough travelling tweeds, a man of fifty or thereabout,
noticeable for his height and splendid proportion,
for a kind of rugged harmony of feature, and for the
peculiarly piercing quality of his glance. His manner
was characterized by repose which might have appeared
stolidity had not the fire in his eyes denied the suggestion;
his voice was deep and full, and he spoke with
the roll and rhythm of accent common to educated Englishmen.
The aspect of the man produced, altogether,
an effect of almost careless freedom from form, the sense
176that here was one who had to do with what was actual
and imperative, not with the adventitious and artificial;
in fine, an essentially masculine and virile individuality,—a
man born to lead, not to follow.
Beside him, Pierce Everett, with his delicate mobility
of face and the slender grace of his frame, looked boyish
and even effeminate, but there was nothing of superiority
or patronage in Gregory’s bearing toward the young
artist, but rather a kind of affectionate comradery peculiarly
winning, and he entered into the study of the
young man’s work with cordial and sympathetic interest.
The canvas before them was not a large one; the
composition extremely simple; the single figure it presented
was set in against a background of cold, low tones
of yellow. A crumbling tomb of hewn stone, with tufts
of dry grass growing in the crevices, hoary with age,
stained with decay, was set against a steep hillside of
sterile limestone. Leaning upon a broken pillar of this
tomb stood the figure of a young girl, her hands dropped
carelessly upon the rough stone before her, her head
lifted and encircled by a faint nimbus, the eyes fixed in
absorbed contemplation, and yet with a child’s passionless
calm. The outlines of the figure, in white Oriental
dress, were those of extreme youth, undeveloped and
severe, the attitude had an unconscious childlike grace,
the expression of the face was that of awe and wonder,
with a curious mingling of joy and dread. The subject,
easily guessed, was the Virgin in Contemplation in early
girlhood.
The picture was nearly finished, only the detail of the
foreground remained incomplete.
John Gregory stood for some time in silence. The
face and figure before him possessed the expression of
177high, spiritual quality common to the early Florentines;
there was little of fleshly or earthly beauty, but an aura
of celestial purity, of virginal innocence and devout aspiration,
was the more perceived.
“You have painted, like Fra Angelico, Everett, with
heaven in your heart.”
Gregory spoke at last. The artist drew a long breath
and turned away, satisfied. They both found chairs
then, and settled down for an hour of talk.
“Where could you find a model for such a conception?
It would be most difficult, I should think, in our self-conscious,
sophisticated, modern life.”
“It was my model who created my picture,” replied
Everett. “Mrs. Keith Burgess is the lady’s name.
Seeing her at church, when she came here a bride, gave
me my first thought of the thing.”
Gregory looked at him meditatively.
“It is most remarkable that a woman who was married
could have suggested your little Mary there, with
that child’s unconsciousness in her eyes, that obviously
virginal soul. When a woman has loved a man, she has
another look.”
Everett was surprised at this comment from Gregory,
who had never married, and who was peculiarly silent and
indifferent commonly when the subject of love or marriage
was touched in conversation. He answered presently:
“When Mrs. Burgess was married and came here, she
was in a sense a child. She was thoughtful and serious
beyond her years in religious concerns, but quite undeveloped
on all other lines, and as inexperienced in the motives
and energies of the modern world as a child—I think one
might have described her then as a very religious child.”
“Has she changed greatly?”
178“Not so much, and yet somewhat. She has begun to
read, you see, which she never had done except on certain
scholastic and religious lines; she has begun to think
for herself somewhat, and in a sense, one could say, she
has begun to live.”
John Gregory did not reply, but he said to himself
that if she had begun to love she could not have furnished
his friend with the inspiration and the model for
just that picture.
He had come to Fulham only for the evening, being
on his way to take a steamer from Montreal back to
England. The two men had dinner together, and then,
returning to the studio, conversed long and earnestly.
Gregory spoke freely but not fully of plans which
absorbed him, but which were not yet matured. Some
theory of social coöperation was in full possession of
his mind, and he had small consideration for things outside.
Everett listened with serious attention to all that
he said, and when he rose to make ready for departure
he remarked:—
“Mr. Gregory, when the time comes that you are
ready to carry into execution any plan embodying this
principle of brotherhood, count on me, if you think me
worthy. I am ready to follow you—anywhere.”
Gregory looked down upon the young man with his
grave and winning smile.
“Thank you, Everett; I shall remember. But do you
know, my dear fellow, I want to ask a tremendous favour
of you now, this very night?”
“Say on,” returned the other.
Gregory had crossed the room to the easel, and now
stood with a look intent on the picture of the young
Virgin.
179“It is a bold request, but I want to buy this picture
of you now—before you have a chance to touch it
again. Who knows but you may spoil it? It interests
me unusually, and I want to take it with me to England,—to
do that it must go with me to-night. I will pay
you any price you have in mind. I want it for a purpose,
Everett.”
“What! you mean that I should let it go to-night,
before I have finished it, or shown it to Mrs. Burgess
herself even?” and Everett looked almost aghast. “She
has never seen it, even once, you know.”
“Yes,” said the other, looking fully into the artist’s
excited face with undisturbed quietness; “that is exactly
what I ask of you. I will promise to return the painting
to you at some future date if that should be your wish. I
shall be over here again in a year.”
Everett stood for a moment, reflecting.
“I am very fond of the picture,” he said slowly.
“So am I,” said the other, smiling.
Everett glanced up, and caught the smile, and felt a
strange control in it.
“You will have to take it,” he said, with a nervous
laugh. “There is no other way.”
“Then, put a good price on it, my boy,” said
Gregory, with matter-of-fact brevity.
“You will agree not to exhibit it anywhere, publicly?”
“Certainly. I could not do that without Mrs.
Burgess’s consent.”
“How I shall make my peace with her, I am sure
I cannot imagine,” murmured Everett, as he took the
painting from its place, and laid it on the table preparatory
to packing it.
“Will you tell her, please,” said Gregory, quite
180unmoved, “that I wanted the picture, and will agree to
make good use of it?”
A sudden clearing passed over Everett’s clouded face.
“Oh, to be sure, to be sure!” he cried; “Mrs.
Burgess has read your recent articles in the Economist,
and she is quite enthusiastic over them. It will be all
right.”
“I am sure it will,” said John Gregory. He was
thinking of Anna’s face as she had passed him in the
hall below, but he did not mention the fact that they
had met to Everett.
181
That which has caused the miserable failure of all the efforts of natural
religion is that its founders have not had the courage to lay hold upon the hearts
of men, consenting to no partition. They have not understood the imperious
desire for immolation which lies in the depths of every soul, and souls have taken
their revenge in not heeding those too lukewarm lovers.
—Life of St. Francis. Sabatier.
To be content to have while others have not, to be content to be right while
others are bound and crushed with wrong, to be content to be saved apart from
the common life, to seek heaven while our brothers are in hell, is deepest perdition
and not salvation; it is the mark of Cain in a new form.—G. D. Herron.
In the few years which followed her early married
life, the cords of convention, slender, and strong as
threads of silk, were wound closer and closer about
Anna Burgess outwardly. As she grew older, Keith’s
mother grew more immovable in her social creed, and
ruled her family more rigidly. Anna might read and
study, but if she would please her mother-in-law, it must
be in the mildest of manners, and on strictly suitable
and ladylike lines; religious biography was recommended,
while all literature which conveyed a touch of
freedom in thought, or a suggestion of a change in social
conditions, was viewed with horror.
Anna might also be charitable, but this too must be
on strictly conventional lines. There were numerous
benevolent organizations upheld by Fulham’s fashionable
women; the name of Mrs. Keith Burgess might
figure frequently on these,—to this there would be no
opposition, but individual and sporadic work among the
poor was uniformly discouraged. The family carriage
182was often sent into the slums of the city on errands of
bestowal as from the wealthy to those “less favoured,”
but when Anna would have liked the carriage to take
her on social calls on equal terms, in respectable but
unfashionable regions, she met with a cold disfavour and
unyielding lack of compliance.
Malvina Loveland, who had been married to the
Rev. Frank Nichols, not long after Anna’s marriage,
had come again within Anna’s horizon. Through
Keith’s personal influence, exerted at Mr. Nichols’s
request, a call had been extended to him to the pastorate
of a church in Fulham. This church was not very
large and not particularly prominent; furthermore, it was
not in the “right” part of Fulham geographically, which
was as distinctly limited as the social circle.
The Nicholses, delighted to come to Fulham as a
university town of some importance, and to a church
far more promising of obvious success than the mission
enterprise in which they had worked in Burlington,
innocently rented a cosey modern house on a pleasant
street which, had they but known it, distinctly stamped
them as socially ineligible from the day of their arrival.
Mally, dreaming of nothing of the kind, entered upon
what she expected to be a somewhat brilliant life socially,
into which she saw her husband and herself conducted
easily and naturally by the Keith Burgesses.
Anna had received her old friend with most affectionate
cordiality, and had spent days of hard work in helping
her to order her house, which, as there was a baby
and but one servant, was not a small undertaking.
Madam Burgess had submitted with patience to the long
absences and the preoccupation of her daughter-in-law
183thus involved, and had even responded without demur
to Anna’s timid request that they might have her old
friends to dinner.
This dinner closed the Nichols episode from the
social point of view. The guests were full of cheerful
and unfeigned admiration, eager to please, easy to be
pleased, but their good will availed them nothing. Even
Anna could not fail now to perceive poor Mally’s
inherent provincialness, but had she been apparently to
the manner born, it would have made no difference with
Madam Burgess. The essential qualifications to entrance
into her world being lacking, her punctilious and attentive
courtesy for the occasion simply covered the inevitable
and absolute finality of it.
The Nicholses themselves, while by no means perceiving
that the social career to which they had looked
forward in Fulham was ended with this visit instead of
begun, departed from the Burgess mansion with a vague
sense of chill which all Anna’s efforts could not counteract.
They were never invited there again. Madam
Burgess had done her duty by her son’s wife’s early
friends, and the incident, as far as she was concerned,
was closed.
Anna, burning with a desire to make up to Mally for
the inevitable disappointment which she foresaw, and
hotly, although silently, resenting the social narrowness
which excluded all men and women whose lives had not
been run in the one fixed mould, devoted herself personally
to her old friend with double ardour. More than this she
could not do. Mally wondered, as the months passed
and they settled down to the undivided intercourse of
their own obscure church and neighbourhood, that Anna
made no attempt to introduce her into her own aristocratic
184circle. Over and over she bit back the question
which would reach her lips, “Why?” Her heart fermented
with bitterness and resentment, and her husband
was taxed to the utmost to subdue and sweeten the tumult
of her wounded feeling.
Another year brought Mally another baby, greatly to
her own dissatisfaction. Poor Anna, the great passion of
motherhood within her still baffled and unfulfilled, poured
out her soul upon mother and child in vicarious ecstasy,
and went home to lie awake for many nights with her
ceaseless, thwarted yearning for a child; and thus these
two women each longed passionately for what the other,
possessing, found a burden rather than a joy.
As time went on, Anna, bound to a certain outward
course of life alien to her natural bent, lived her own
life just below the surface, a life like a flame burning
beneath ice. All the master motives of her nature
unapplied; all the initial motives with which life had
begun, neutralized and made ineffective, she reached, five
years of married life over, the point which in any human
development is one of danger,—the point when great
personal forces are dammed up by barriers of external
circumstance, when the prime powers and passions are
without adequate expression.
Meanwhile Keith Burgess, his young enthusiasms
having lost their first freshness, the limitations of
physical weakness and suffering making themselves
more and more felt, settled into a narrow routine of
life and thought. As his physique gradually seemed to
shrivel and his delicacy of form and feature to increase,
a resemblance to his mother, scarcely observable in his
younger manhood, became at times striking. His missionary
activity passed from its original fresh ardour into a
185system of petty details, increasingly formal and perfunctory,
even to Anna’s reluctant perception.
Perhaps it was due to Keith’s protracted absences
from home, perhaps partly to his physical exhaustion,
which made him dull and unresponsive when with her,
but Anna felt, against her own will, a growing divergence
in thought and interest between them. He was delicately
sympathetic, chivalrously attentive, to her in all outward
ways; but when she longed with eager craving for his
participation in the life of thought and purpose which
was stirring the depths of her nature in secret, she found
scant response.
Driven inward thus at every point, Anna’s essential
life centred itself more and more upon the new message
of social brotherhood which she had found in the writings
of John Gregory; and, unconsciously to herself, the
ruling figure in her mind, as the symbol of the human
power and freedom for which she longed, was his. The
“counterfeit presentment” of this man in her dream had
ruled her girlish imagination; and now his actual presence,
though but once encountered, exercised an influence
over her maturer life no less mysterious and no less
profound. To this influence fresh strength was given by
the relation, never-so-slight, which existed between them
by reason of Gregory’s possession of the picture painted
by Everett. How she was represented was still all unknown
to her, still unasked; but must it not be that,
owning this mysterious image of her face, his thoughts
would sometimes turn to her? This thought stirred
Anna with a thrill, half of joy, half of fear.
An interruption in the routine of their Fulham life
occurred after Keith had served the missionary society
for a period of five years. An illness which manifested,
186as well as increased, his physical inability to continue in
his difficult duties brought Keith and Anna to a sudden
course of action. Keith resigned his official position,
and, as soon as he was able to travel, they sailed for
Europe for a year’s absence.
This was a year of rapid development and of abounding
happiness to Anna. Alone and unguarded in their
life together for the first time since their marriage, the
husband and wife grew together in new sympathy, and
fed their spirits on the beauty and wonder of art and the
majesty of nature in fond accord. The fulness and richness
and complexity of the working of the human spirit
throughout the ages were revealed to Anna; the grandeur
and purity of dedicated lives of creeds unlike and
even hostile to her own opened her eyes to a new and
broader view of human and divine relations. Reverence,
love, and sympathy began to usurp the place of dogma,
division, and exclusion in her mental energies. She
began to perceive that the righteous were not wholly
righteous, nor the wicked wholly wicked. The old
ground plan of the moral universe with which she had
started in life looked now a mean and narrow thing.
Larger hopes and a bolder faith awoke in her.
And so in mind, and also in body, Anna grew joyously
and freely; even her attitudes and motions expressed a new
harmony, while suavity and grace of outline succeeded to
the meagre and angular proportions of her youth.
The return to Fulham came, when it could no longer
be postponed, as an unwelcome period to their best year
of life. Madam Burgess received her children with
affectionate, albeit restrained, cordiality, and watched
Anna with keen eyes on which no change, however
slight, was lost.
187When mother and son were left alone on the night
of the return, as on the night when Keith brought his
wife home a bride, Madam Burgess spoke plainly and
directly of Anna. She had never discussed her characteristics
from that night until the present, but she felt
that another epoch was reached, and a few remarks
would be appropriate.
“My son,” she said, “do you remember the night
when you brought Anna home to this house as a
bride?”
“Perfectly, mother.”
“So do I. I have been going back continually in
thought to-night to that time. Without undue partiality,
Keith, I think we are justified in a little self-congratulation.
Anna has developed slowly, but she has now
reached the first and best bloom of her maturity. You
brought her here a shy, angular, country-bred, undeveloped
girl, although I will not deny that she had distinction,
even then; to-night you bring her again not only
a distingué but a beautiful woman,—yes, Keith, I really
mean it,—a beautiful woman, and with a certain charm
about her which makes her capable of being a social
leader, if she chooses to exert her power. I understand
she has purchased some good gowns in Paris. I have
about concluded to give a reception next month in
honour of your return, if my health permits.”
The reception, which Madam Burgess’s health was
favoured to permit, proved to be as brilliant an event
as social conditions in Fulham rendered possible. The
fine old house was radiant with flowers and wax-lights,
and the company which was gathered was the most distinguished
which the little city could muster. In the
midst of all the gay array stood Keith and Anna,—he
188with his small, slight figure, his scrupulously gentlemanly
air, his thin, worn face and nervous manner; she
tall and stately, with her characteristic repose illuminated
by new springs of thought, perception, and feeling, full
of swift and radiant response to each newcomer’s word,
overflowing with the first fresh joy of her awakened
social instinct.
Professor Ward stood with Pierce Everett aside, and,
watching Anna, said in a lowered voice:—
“Mrs. Burgess is a woman now, through and through.
Would you know her for the girl whom Keith brought
here half a dozen years ago?”
“I could not find my little maiden Mary in that
queenly creature!” exclaimed Everett.
“No; you were just in time with that mysterious disappearance
of yours, bad luck to you that you made
way with it, however you did!”
“It has taken her a good while to accept the world’s
standards and fit herself to the world’s groove, but
Madam Burgess has been patient and diligent, and I
think she has succeeded at last,” said Everett gravely;
“she will run along all right after this.”
“You think Mrs. Keith will live to sustain the family
traditions hereafter, do you? And Keith, what is to
become of him? He seems to have dropped off his
missionary enthusiasm with singular facility.”
“Precisely. You will have to create a nice little
chair for him in the university now, to keep him in the
correct line of his descent. By and by, you know, he
will have the estate to administer. That will be something
of an occupation.”
“Then he probably will take to collecting things,”
Ward added, “coins or autographs—”
189“Oh, come, Ward, you’re too bad,” laughed Everett.
“You don’t know Keith Burgess as well as I do.”
Later in the evening Anna was summoned from her
guests to speak with some one who had called on an
urgent matter which could not be put by until another
time.
The fine hall, as she passed along it, was alive
with lights, fragrance, music, and airy gayety; her own
elastic step, her exquisite dress, her joyous excitement
in the first taste of social triumph which the evening
was bringing to her, accorded well with the environment.
For the first time in her life, Anna had seen that
she was beautiful; had felt the potent charm of her own
personality; had found that she could draw to herself the
homage and admiration of her social world. These
perceptions had not excited her unduly, but they had
given her a new sense of herself, a strong exhilaration
which expressed itself in the lustre of her eyes, the
brightness of every tone and tint of her face, in the way
she held her head, in the clear, thrilling cadence of her
voice.
Once again, after long dimness and confusion, life
seemed about to declare itself to her, and the energies of
her nature to find a free channel. At last she might
move in the line of least resistance, and fill the place she
was expected to fill, without further conflict or question.
It looked a pleasant path that night, and submission a
sweet and gracious thing.
With a half smile still on her lips, and the spirit of
the hour full upon her, Anna came to the house door and
opened it upon the outer vestibule, where she had been
told the messenger would await her.
The man who stood there was John Gregory.
190Anna softly closed the door behind her, and looked up
into his face. It wore a different aspect from that which
she remembered, for it was stern and unsmiling, and
more deeply grave and worn than she had seen it. But
even more than before the person of the man seemed to
overawe her with a sense of power and command.
“Do you remember me, Mrs. Burgess?” he asked
simply.
“Yes.”
“And I know you through my friend, through the
picture he painted once of you. You must pardon my
intruding upon you to-night. I could not do otherwise. I
have a message for you, and I am here only for to-night.”
Anna did not speak, but her eyes were fixed upon his
in earnest question, as if in some mysterious way he
held destiny in his hands.
“No man could paint that picture from you now,”
he proceeded slowly, gently, and yet with a kind of
unflinching severity; “you had the vision then. You
have lost it now. You saw God once. To-night you
see the world. Once your heart ached for the sorrows
of others; now it thrills with your own joys. You
have given up great purposes, and are accepting small
ones. I have been sent to say to you: keep the word
of the kingdom and patience of Christ steadfast to the
end, and hold that fast which was given that no man
take your crown.”
These words, spoken with the solemnity of a prophetic
admonition, pierced Anna’s consciousness.
A faint cry, as if in remonstrance, broke from her
lips, but already Gregory had turned, and before she
could speak she found herself alone.
With strong control Anna returned, and mingled with
191her guests without perceptible change of manner. When,
however, the last carriage had rolled down the street,
and the house itself was dark and still, she escaped
alone to her own room to live over and over again that
strange summons and challenge of John Gregory.
Now the sense of what he had said roused her to
burning indignation and protest, and again to contrition.
She knew that she was blameless and approved if tried
by the standards of the people now about her, and they
were the irreproachable, church-going people of Fulham.
She was simply conforming to the demands of an orderly
and balanced social life, and pleasing those most interested
in her. But she also knew that, as tried by the
standards of her father, and her own early convictions,
in the social and intellectual ambitions which now
animated her, she was learning to love “the world and
the things of the world,” to know “the lust of the
flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.”
The voice of her past spoke clearly through the voice
of John Gregory and must be heard. The things which
she had thought to put away forever in the solemn
dedication of her girlhood had gradually returned, and
silently established themselves in her life in the guise of
duties, necessities, conformities to the wishes of others.
But of late she had come to regard those early scruples
almost as superstitious. Where lay the absolute right—the
truth? the will of God concerning her? Why
was life so hard? Why was it impossible to even know
the good? What right had John Gregory to spoil, as
he had spoiled, this latest development of life for her,
and give her nothing in its place? She resented his
interference, and yet felt that she should inevitably yield
herself to its influence.
192
My thwarted woman-thoughts have inward turned,
And that vain milk like acid in me eats.
Have I not in my thought trained little feet
To venture, and taught little lips to move
Until they shaped the wonder of a word?
I am long practised. O those children, mine!
Mine, doubly mine: and yet I cannot touch them,
I cannot see them, hear them—Does great God
Expect I shall clasp air and kiss the wind
For ever? And the budding cometh on,
The burgeoning, the cruel flowering:
At night the quickening splash of rain, at dawn
That muffled call of birds how like to babes;
And I amid these sights and sounds must starve—
I, with so much to give, perish of thrift!
Omitted by his casual dew!
—Stephen Phillips.
The next morning Anna was sent for to go to Mrs.
Nichols, whom she had hardly seen since her return
from Europe.
She found her sitting in her nursery with her two
little children playing about her feet. She was near her
third confinement, and in the shadow of her imminent
peril and the heavy repose laid upon body and spirit by
her condition there was an indescribable dignity about
her which Anna had never felt until now.
Before she left, Mally, with wistful eyes, looked up to
her, and said, timidly:—
“Anna, you love little children. No one that I ever
saw takes mine in her arms as you do—not even I who
am their mother.”
193“Oh, Mally!” Anna cried, sharp tears piercing their
way. “If that is true, it must be because my heart
never stops aching for a child of my own. I know now
that we shall never have children, and I try to be reconciled;
but you can never know, dear, how I envy you.”
“Do not envy me,” Mally answered, her lips trembling.
“You do not know what it means to sit here
to-day and see the shining of the sun on the children’s
hair, and touch their little heads with my hand, and
smell those roses you brought, and yet think that to-morrow
at this time I may be gone beyond breath, sight,
the sun, the children—”
“Dear, don’t, don’t,” Anna pleaded; “you must not
think so. You have been helped through safely before;
you will be again. People always have these times of
dread.”
Mally shook her head, but answered quietly:—
“I have never felt before like this, but only God
knows. But this is why I sent for you: If my little
baby lives, and is a perfect child, and I am taken away,
would you, Anna, do you think you could—take my
baby for your own, for always?”
“Oh, if I could!” and all Anna’s heart went out in
the cry, and Mally saw the love which shone in her
eyes and wondered at her strange beauty.
“I am sure you will come through safely as you have
before,” she said, “but this I promise you, Mally,”
taking her friend’s hand and holding it fast, “if you
should be taken from your children, and they will let
me,—I mean if my husband and his mother should
consent, for I am not quite free, you see,—I will take
your little baby and it shall be my very own, and I will
be its mother while we both live, God helping me.”
194A look of deep joy and relief in Mally’s poor pale
face was full response, and the two parted with a sense
of a deeper union of spirit than they had ever known
before.
Early on the following morning, after a wakeful and
anxious night, Anna hastened to the Nicholses’ home.
Mally’s husband met her with a stricken face, for a
swift and sudden blow had fallen; her trial had come
and his wife had died, hardly an hour before. There
had been no time to send for Anna, although Mally had
spoken her name almost at the last.
They stood together in the poor, gay little parlour
which Mally had adorned with high hopes of the
abundant life into which she fancied herself entering,—the
young husband with his grief-wrung, ashy face,
Anna with her heart melted in sorrow and compassion.
While neither could speak for their tears, the faint wail
of a little child smote upon the silence from a room
within.
“The baby?” Anna asked under her breath.
A deeper darkness seemed to settle upon Nichols’s
face.
“Yes, a boy. A fine little fellow, they say; but I feel
as if I could not look at him. I have not seen him.”
Anna turned and left the room, and in another moment,
in the dark inner room where she had sat with
Mally in the sunshine the day before, she took Mally’s
baby into her arms, and bent her head above it with a
great sense of motherhood breaking over her spirit like
a wave from an infinite sea.
She stood and held the tiny creature for many moments,
alone and in silence, while joy and sorrow, life and death,
passed by her and revealed themselves. Then she laid
195the baby down and went up to the room where Mally
lay, white and still, with something of the beauty of her
girlhood in her face, and the great added majesty of
motherhood and death. On her knees Anna bent over
the unanswering hand which yesterday she had seen laid
warmly on the fair curls of her little children, and, in the
hush and awe of the place, spoke again her solemn promise
of yesterday.
After that she came down to the children and their
father, and took quietly into her own hands the many
cares which the day had brought.
It was late in the evening when Anna, exhausted and
unnerved, returned home. She found Keith and his
mother waiting for her in the library,—Keith hastening
to welcome her with tender sympathy, Madam Burgess
a shade colder than usual beneath a surface of suitable
phrases of solicitude and condolence. She had been
absolutely indifferent to Mrs. Nichols in life, and did
not find her deeply interesting even in death. Furthermore,
she always resented Anna’s spending herself upon
that family, and in the present affliction she felt that
flowers and a ten-minute call would have answered every
demand.
If Anna had been steadier and less under the influence
of the piteous desolation of the home she had left, less
absorbed in her own ardent purpose, she would have
realized that this was not the time or place in which
to make that purpose known. If she had waited, if
she had talked with her husband alone, the future of
all their lives might have taken a different shape. But
with the one controlling thought in her mind, forgetting
how impossible it was for these two, not highly gifted
with imaginative sympathy, to enter into her own deep
196emotion, she spoke at once of Mally’s request that in the
event of her death she should take her baby; of her own
conditional promise, and of her deep desire to fulfil it.
There was a little silence, chill and bleak, and then
Keith said, in a half-soothing tone as if she had been an
excited child, hurrying in with a manifestly impossible
petition:—
“It was a very sweet and generous wish on your part,
Anna; so like you, dear.”
Anna looked at him in silence, her lips parted.
Madam Burgess gave a dry cough, and partook of a
troche from a small silver box which she carried in a
lace-trimmed bag.
“Yes, as Keith says, my dear, it was a kind impulse
on your part, but it certainly was a very singular action
on that of your friend. She was probably too ill, poor
thing, at the time to realize just what she was asking.
I have no doubt you were quite excusable for giving her
some sort of a conditional promise, considering all the
circumstances. But you need have no sense of responsibility
in the matter; infants left like that never live. It
will only be a question of a few weeks’ care for any
one.”
Anna turned her eyes from her mother-in-law back to
her husband in mute amazement and appeal. They could
not mean to deny her this sacred right! It was impossible.
And yet a sudden sense of the incongruity of poor
Mally’s baby in that house smote sharply upon her for
the first time.
“If it had been God’s will that we should have had
children of our own, Anna,” said Keith, in answer to
her look, “we should have learned to fit ourselves to
the many cares and responsibilities involved, I do not
197doubt, as others do; but it is very different to go out
of our way to assume such cares, not ours in any legitimate
sense. I think the question is more serious than
you realize in the very natural and proper emotion which
you are passing through in the death of your friend. We
certainly could not ask mother to take this strange child,
and all that would be involved in such a relation, into
her house; and we are, I am sure, as little prepared to
leave mother and break up our natural order of life,”
and Keith smiled with kind conviction into Anna’s face.
She rose slowly and stood with eyes fixed before her,
and a strange light was in them, which her husband had
never seen before.
“That is all perfectly true, Keith,” said Madam Burgess,
as if to finish up the case against poor Anna; “and
even if all this were not so, there would remain one insuperable
obstacle to adopting this infant—an absolutely
insuperable obstacle.”
“What is it?” asked Anna, very low.
“Blood, my dear. I believe in blood, and never, with
his mother’s consent or approval, could my son give his
name, and all that that means, to a child of alien stock.
Never.” And Madam Burgess closed her lips firmly
and folded her hands peacefully upon her grey silk gown
with the consciousness of occupying a perfectly unassailable
position.
Anna moved toward the door, a curious effect in her
step and bearing as of one physically wounded, her head
drooped slightly as if in submission, her eyes downcast.
When she reached the door, however, a swift change
passed over her; a sudden energy and power awoke in
her, and she turned, and, looking back at mother and
son, her eyes flashing light, and a smile they had never
198seen before upon her lips, said quietly, but with slow
emphasis:—
“You have decided this matter. You have each
other; you are satisfied. I shall submit, as you know.
Once more you have taken my life—its most sacred
promise and its highest purpose—out of my hands.
This time another life, too, is involved. One thing
only you must let me say, I wonder how you dare!”
Facing them for an instant in silence, she turned, and
went alone to her room.
199
One by one thou dost gather the scattered families out of the earthly light into
the heavenly glory, from the distractions and strife and weariness of time to the
peace of eternity. We thank thee for the labours and the joys of these mortal
years. We thank thee for our deep sense of the mysteries that lie beyond our
dust.—Rufus Ellis.
By Thy Rod and Thy Staff comfort us.
—Christina Rossetti.
Two days later, in response to a note from Pierce
Everett, Anna went to the studio. He wrote that John
Gregory had passed through Fulham and had left the
picture, in which she might still feel some lingering
interest.
Anna left Keith and his mother diligently occupied in
their daily task of arranging and copying Keith’s European
letters and journals, interspersing them with careful
and copious notes from Baedeker. From this laborious
undertaking, which absorbed mother and son in mutual
and sympathetic devotion, Anna was self-excluded,
simply because she found the letters of merely passing
interest, but not of marked or lasting value and concern.
Madam Burgess confessed that she could think of no
occupation more graceful or becoming a young wife
than this of putting in permanent form the beautiful
and instructive correspondence of her beloved husband,
and she found a new cause for disapproval in Anna’s
indifference to the work. In her own heart Anna hid
a great protest against the substitution of puerile and
unproductive work like this, for the serious altruistic
200endeavour to which she still felt that she and Keith were
both inwardly pledged. But this was an old issue, and
one, indeed, to-day almost forgotten before her passionate
grief concerning Mally, buried yesterday, and the
promise to her which might not be fulfilled. The pitiful
cry of Mally’s baby seemed to sound continually in her
ears.
But another, even deeper, consciousness was that of
the condemnation, brief, sharp, conclusive, of herself by
John Gregory. She believed now that his judgment of
her and of the line along which she was developing was
in a measure just—but what then? It had suddenly
become definitely declared in Anna’s thought, with no
further shading or disguise, that a life of worldly ease,
of self and sense-pleasing, of fashionable charity and
conventional religion and of intellectual stagnation, was
the only life which could be lived in harmony with the
spirit of her home. Her soul lay that day in the calm
which often falls upon strong natures when profound
passions and powers are gathering in upheaval just below
the surface. To conform, or to revolt, or to lead the
wretched life of spiritual discord which seeks to avoid
alike conformity and freedom, were the hard alternatives
before Anna, as she thought, that day.
Pierce Everett, meeting her at the door of his studio,
was startled by the pallor and sadness of her face, like
that of her earlier years, but forebore to question her.
He had expected to see her in the joyous bloom of his
last view of her; he had looked for her to fulfil his
prophecy.
The light tone of badinage and compliment with
which he had involuntarily started to receive her fell
from him now as impossible, seeing her face, and in
201almost utter silence he led her across the room and
pointed to the picture of the Girlhood of Mary.
After a few moments Anna said simply, without
turning to Everett, her eyes still on the picture:—
“Did I once look like that?”
“Yes.”
“Mr. Gregory said no one could paint this from me
now,” Anna said slowly, as if to herself, not knowing
that tears were falling down her cheeks.
“You are older, that is all,” said Everett, gently.
“No, that is not all. I have lost something which I
had then.”
“We all lose something with our child-soul, Mrs.
Burgess,” cried Everett, earnestly; “but you have gained
more than you have lost. John Gregory was not fair
to you to leave you with a word like that. You were a
child then; now you are a woman. That face in my
picture is not the face of a Madonna, yet. It did not
seek to be, but we do not blame it for that. Should we
blame the Mater Dolorosa that she has no longer the
face of a child?”
“Thank you,” Anna said humbly, and held out her
hand, which the young man caught in his and held with
reverence.
She left the studio hastily, not daring to say more, a
childless mother of sorrows. The very emptiness of her
grief, since no sweet substitution of motherhood could
be granted her, made it the more intolerable.
Instinctively she went from the Everett’s straight
across the city to the unfashionable new quarter and to
the Nicholses’ home. She found Mally’s baby properly
cared for, but coldly, by hired and unloving hands, and
took it into her own arms with yearning motherliness and
202cried over it, easing her heart and murmuring the tender
nonsense, the artless art which mothers always know,
but seldom women who have not known motherhood.
Mr. Nichols came in and she told him,—leaving the
baby that she might surely control herself,—that on
account of Madam Burgess’s feeble health it had been
found impossible for her to carry out Mally’s wish and
her own. The disappointment of the poor fellow, with
his almost impossible burden and scanty income, was
evident; but he rallied well, and showed a simple dignity
in the matter which made Anna like him even better
than she had before.
“I shall watch over the baby, you may depend, and
come as often as I can,” she said in leaving.
He thanked her, and she made him promise to send
for her without delay or hesitation if there were illness
among the children or other emergency, and so came
away.
The frail little life, unwarmed and unwelcomed by
the love which had been bestowed on the other children,
seemed to feel itself in an alien air, and failed from
week to week. Anna spent every moment she could
with the child, and sought to cherish and shield the tiny,
flickering flame of life, but in vain. The baby lingered
for a month, and then, on a bleak March evening, Anna
was sent for, to speed its spirit back into the unknown
from which it had scarcely emerged. She sat all night
with the child upon her knees, the young father asleep
in the leaden sleep of unutterable weariness on a sofa in
the room adjoining. It is not given to a man to know
the absolute annihilation of the body by love which
makes the endurance of long night watches and the
supreme skill in nursing the prerogative of women.
203The nurse came and went at decent intervals with
offers of help and of food, but Anna quietly declined
both. She knew that she was about to partake of the
sacrament of death, and she wished to receive it fasting,
and, if it might be, alone. She knew that she only on
earth loved the little child and longed to keep it, and
she meant that it should die in loving arms, if they had
been denied it for living.
In the slow hours which were yet too swift, as she
bent over the small pinched face, brooding tenderly over
the strange perfection of this miniature of humanity, the
delicately pencilled eyebrows, the fine moulding of the
forehead, the exquisite ear with soft fair hair curling
about it, the little, flower-like hands, Anna wondered,
as she never had thought to wonder before, at the
wastefulness of nature. All this exquisite organism
made perfect by months of silent upbuilding, a life of
full strength paid for its faint breath, and then, this too
cut off before the dawn of consciousness!
Harder to bear was the thought, which would not
leave her, that if she could have taken the child for her
own its life could have been saved. A photograph of
Mally on the bedroom wall in her wedding-gown
looked down upon her through the yellow gloom of the
night lamp, and the eyes seemed to Anna full of sad
upbraiding.
In bitterness of soul she groaned aloud:—
“Oh, Mally, Mally, I wanted to keep your baby, but
they would not let me! He is going back to you, dear.
Oh, if I knew that you were glad, that you forgive me!”
At the sound of her voice the child on her knees,
which had been asleep or in a stupor, opened its eyes,
and lifted them to hers. They were large blue eyes like
204Mally’s, and for a moment their look was fixed upon her
own,—a clear, direct look, and, with a thrill of awe, Anna
felt a conscious look. The instant of that mutual glance
with all of mystery, of joy, and of wonder which it held,
passed; the waxen whiteness of the lids fell again, but,
as it passed, a sense of great peace fell upon Anna’s spirit.
The last look of that newborn soul, pure and undefiled,
had searched her heart, had found her love, had shed the
glory of its passing into her bruised and cabined spirit.
“Now go, little child, go to God and be at rest; we
have known each other, and you are mine after all,” she
whispered fondly, her tears falling like spring rains upon
white blossoms.
The dawn-light came into the room, dimming the
lamp-light with which it could not blend; a tremor
passed through the tiny frame, the breath fluttered once
or twice upon the lips, and the baby died. Anna had
called the father, and he stood by, watching in heavy
oppression.
Quietly, with the great submission of spirit which
death brings, Anna washed and dressed the little body,
putting on the garments of fairylike texture and proportion
which she had seen Mally making with warm, dexterous
fingers, a few weeks before. Then, having prayed,
she left the place and walked home alone through the
silent streets, with the consecration of the hour full upon
her.
205
He who professeth to believe in one Almighty Creator, and in his Son Jesus
Christ, and is yet more intent on the honours, profits, and friendships of the
world than he is, in singleness of heart, to stand faithful to the Christian religion,
is in the channel of idolatry; while the Gentile, who, notwithstanding
some mistaken opinions, is established in the true principle of virtue, and humbly
adores an Almighty Power, may be of the number that fear God and work
righteousness.—John Woolman.
A physician’s carriage stood before the house when
Anna reached it, and within there was a stir unusual for
that early hour. Jane met her on the landing, and answered
her questions.
“Yes, ma’am; Mrs. Burgess, she was all right as far
as I could see when I helped her get to bed, but I hadn’t
got her light out when I heard her give a queer kind of
groan, and when I got to her, her face was that twisted
all to one side, that it would make your heart ache to see
her. But that isn’t so bad now; you’d hardly notice it.
And she don’t seem paralyzed; she moves ’most any way.”
“Then she is better?”
“Well, ma’am, I don’t know as you could say so
much better. The worst of it is, her mind ain’t right.
She looks sort of blank, and when she talks it ain’t natural,
but all confused like, and it’s hard, poor lady, for her
to get anything out; she talks thick and slow, so different
from herself.”
A moment later Anna saw Keith, and heard the verdict
of the physician. Madam Burgess had suffered a
paralytic seizure of a somewhat unusual character. He
should watch the case with great interest. There was
206evidently a small clot on the left side of the brain which
affected the mental equilibrium, and produced something
like delirium. The ultimate result could only be fatal,
and it was doubtful whether full consciousness would
return before death.
That afternoon Anna was permitted to go to her
mother-in-law’s bedside. Keith followed her, full of
eager hope that for her there might be the clear and
unquestionable recognition which had thus far been
denied him. It was a strangely painful thing to Anna
to see the familiar figure of a woman so graceful,
so precise, so secure in her high-bred self-possession, so
decided in her conscious self-direction, prostrate, dull,
lethargic; to hear in place of the cold, clear modulations
of her voice a meaningless, half-articulate muttering.
She stood for a moment beside the bed, her heart sinking
with the piteousness of the sight, herself apparently
unnoticed by the stricken woman.
At the foot of the bed Keith, standing, cried out as if
in uncontrollable pain:—
“Mother, do you see Anna? She wants to speak with
you.”
Slowly his mother turned her eyes, which had been
fixed straight before her, until they rested full upon
Anna in a curious, disconcerting stare. This continued
in silence for some throbbing seconds, and then, with thick
utterance and unaccented monotony of modulation, she
said, very slowly:—
“If you had married differently you might have had
children of your own.”
This laboured sentence, in its violent discordance with
the filial tenderness and sympathy which alone filled the
hearts of Keith and Anna at the moment, smote them
207both as if with a harsh and incredible buffet. Anna
turned away from the bed white and appalled, and left
the room at the motion of the nurse while Keith, bowing
his head upon the bed-rail, groaned aloud. Even in
the moment their mother had fallen back into unintelligible
confusion of speech. To them both this sinister and
unlooked-for expression revealed something of the weary
ways in which the clouded mind was straying. Some
haunting sense of remorse and accountability, vaguely
felt and deviously followed, was torturing the dimness
of mental twilight. Again and again during the days
following, Anna, sitting just outside the bedroom door,
heard the question reiterated in the harsh, toneless
voice:—
“Did that baby die?” And always, when answered,
there came the same response, “I said it would, I said
it would that night.”
Filled with pity and compunction as she recalled the
severity of her own utterance in that interview, the memory
of which with the sick woman had plainly outlived all
other, Anna went once more on the third night into
the sick-room, knelt by the bed, and took the hand of
the sufferer in both her own.
“Mother,” she said, in a strong, comforting voice,
“mother dear, this is Anna. Will you forgive me for
my unkindness that night?”
There was no reply.
“Dear mother,” Anna went on, with gentlest kindness,
“I wanted to tell you that the little baby has gone
to its own mother. It is all right, and I am satisfied.”
There was a faint response as of relief and acquiescence.
Then, as Anna still held the limp, unresisting, unresponding
hand and looked tenderly in the grey, changed
208face, Sarah Burgess spoke once more. Broken and falteringly
came the words:—
“I am ... sorry ... you have ... no child,”
and, as she spoke, large, slow tears rolled down her
face.
It was the first time in all their intercourse that she
had opened her heart to Anna in motherly pity. Perhaps
she could not before, the defences of pride and reserve
were sunk too deep. But the few words, the tears, the
glimpse of a heart which, whatever its hardness, itself
knew the passion of motherhood and could understand
her pain, broke down for the younger woman the last
remaining barriers which had stood between these two
who had lived together so coldly. Anna laid her head
on the pillow and kissed the face of the dying woman
again and again, their tears mingling, while pity and
tenderness overflowed the coldness and all the silent
resentments of the past.
Two days later Madam Burgess died, not having
spoken again, although she had plainly recognized
Keith and watched him with wistful eyes.
The burial and the various incidents connected with
the close of a long life, and one of social eminence, over,
Keith and Anna turned back to the home, now wholly
their own, and looked about them wondering what was
in the future. Like all men and women of gentle will,
they blotted out, at once and forever, every impression
of unworthiness or selfishness which their dead had ever
made upon them. They idealized her narrow character,
and loved her better than they ever had, perhaps, in life;
but underneath all this dutiful loyalty Anna found in
her own heart a recognition of great release, and at
times, in spite of her will, her pulses would bound and
209leap with the sense of new possibilities in life for them
both.
Just what these possibilities might be was by no
means clear to Anna, nor how far Keith would sympathize
with her own vague but dominant desires for a
return in some sort to the working motives which had
swayed their earlier lives. She was greatly encouraged
by the response which she received to her timid approach
to the subject of some slight changes in their outward
method of life in favour of simpler and more democratic
habits. The horses and carriage and liveried servants
had long been a source of distress to Anna’s conscience,
as marks of a privileged and separate class. She had
always avoided employing them as far as was possible.
She had never, since she had begun reading the social
essays of Gregory, driven in the family carriage without
longing to apologize to every working man and woman
whose glance rested upon her, for a luxury which she
felt to be in their eyes divisive, while all the time her
heart was crying out for brotherhood and burden-sharing
with the lowliest and most oppressed among them.
Somewhat to her surprise she found that Keith was
not without a similar consciousness, any expression of
which, even to Anna, he had scrupulously avoided in
his mother’s lifetime. Finding herself met here, and
thus emboldened, Anna came to her husband one evening
with a question which involved serious doubt and
difficulty for her. It was two months since the death
of Madam Burgess, and Anna was to start the following
morning for Vermont for a visit of several weeks to her
mother and Lucia. Keith was too busy with the details
of settling his mother’s estate to accompany her, but it
had been planned that he should meet her in Burlington
210on her return, late in May, and together with her make
a visit, long-promised and long-postponed, at the Ingrahams’,
whose friendship for them both had remained
unchanged by the years.
And now the postman had brought Anna a note from
Mrs. Ingraham which took her back strangely to her
girlhood, and to one March night when she had first
received a like request from the same source. This
note asked her to come, when she came for the promised
visit, prepared to give a missionary address at a
meeting which would take place at that time in Burlington.
Anna handed the note to her husband, and, as he finished
the perusal of it, she said hesitatingly:—
“Keith, I don’t know what to do.”
“Why, dear? Why not simply do as Mrs. Ingraham
asks? You would like to, would you not?”
“Once I would have, only too gladly,” and Anna
paused a moment, recalling the opposition to which she
had yielded so unwillingly in the time past. That outward
and forcible opposition was now wholly removed,
but another restraint, subtle and subjective, had gradually
taken its place, although Anna had until now
scarcely recognized the existence of it.
“I am afraid, if I tell you,” she resumed, “you will
be shocked and pained. Perhaps I cannot even put it
into words, and not overstate what is in my mind; but
the trouble is, Keith, I am afraid I don’t believe everything
just as I used to.”
Keith Burgess looked at her with his gentle smile.
“Go on,” he said quietly.
“Dear, it is very strange,” and Anna spoke with
sudden impetuousness; “but I suppose I have not
211really a right to speak for missions, for I cannot, any
more, believe that God will condemn to everlasting
torment all the heathen who do not believe in a means
of salvation of which they have never heard.”
“Neither can I.”
“Keith!” Anna felt her breath almost taken away
by this sudden admission of what, in the seventies,
was rank heresy in strictly orthodox circles. “Why
have you never let me suspect such a change in your
views? Has this had something to do with your giving
up the secretaryship? Was it not then quite all
your health? Oh, Keith, if you knew how I have been
troubled!”
The tumult of Anna’s surprise broke out in this swift
volley of questions, for which she could not wait for
answers.
“How have you been troubled? Tell me that first,
Anna.”
Anna’s colour came and went. It was not easy to
speak, but honesty and frankness were the law of
speech with her. Very seriously she said:—
“It seemed so strange to me that you grew, after the
first few years, into what often appeared a kind of
official and perfunctory way of working—letting the
details cover the great purposes. It seemed little, and
different from what I had expected. Tables and figures
and endless reports—it was all business, and almost
like other business.”
Keith Burgess nodded gravely. “Go on,” he said,
as before.
“And then, you see, all at once you dropped it.
Of course you had that illness, and I could see how
tiresome and troubling the work had come to be; but
212I used to think—forgive me, Keith; I hated myself that
I did—that you dropped the whole missionary endeavour
and purpose and point of view as easily as you might
have dropped a coat that you had worn out—”
“In short, that it was all officialism.”
“Yes, even that—that it had come to be. And you
know how different it was at first, when it was your
only life.”
“Yes, Anna,” and the delicate, sensitive face of the
man showed something of the profound pain which he
could not speak; “it has been a hard experience. I
have kept it to myself because I did not think it was
fair to lay upon you the same burden of doubt and
conflict. I see how naturally you came to look upon
the change in me as you have described. Perhaps
your view is in a measure just, too, but I think not
altogether.”
“Tell me, Keith.” Anna was waiting for him to go
on with sympathetic eagerness.
“It was simply that, some way, I hardly know how,—perhaps
it was in part worldliness and selfishness, but I
think not altogether,—my views gradually have changed.
Perhaps it was in the air, perhaps I took it in unconsciously
from what I read, and from my deeper thought
of God and his grace. What I learned of the various
forms of heathen religions influenced me somewhat, and
also observation of the workings of our own system in
our own country even under most favouring conditions.
I cannot tell, only I came definitely at last to the point
where I could no longer go before the churches and
plead with them to send their money to foreign missions
to save the heathen from immediate eternal perdition
and torment, because they did not believe in the plan of
213salvation by a Saviour of whom, as you say, they had
never heard.”
“What did you do?”
“You see,” Keith went on, not noticing her question,
“according to our confession there is no salvation
even in any ordinary knowledge of Christ, but only for
the elect few who experience personal regeneration by
conscious acceptance according to the line laid by such
men as Calvin and Edwards. Now we know that judged
by this test a very large percentage of any so-called
Christian community is doomed to eternal punishment,
and when you come to the heathen, it grows unthinkable—do
you see?”
“Yes, I feel.”
“I went very soon to Dr. Durham, and poured out a
full confession of my ‘unsoundness.’”
“What did he say?”
“Anna, that was what settled me. I almost think
that if he had said, ‘Stop where you are, and wait until
you can see it differently,’ I might have come back to
my early convictions in some sort, at least sufficiently
to give me a motive for working on. What he did say,
in his large, hearty way, was: ‘Oh, my dear fellow, there
is nothing more common than such doubts and questions!
They naturally arise from time to time with us all.
Probably not half the men who are at work in this
cause actually believe literally in the common conception
that the heathen who do not know of Christ are
all condemned. Oh, no, I ceased to hold any such
opinion long ago.’ ‘Then why don’t you say so openly?’
I asked; to which he replied impressively: ‘Don’t you
see, Burgess, that if we told our change of views to the
churches at large we should cut the very nerve of the
214missionary motive? We may hold these slightly modified
views on eschatology ourselves without detriment,
perhaps, or danger, although of course they must be held
well in hand; but if we should speak them out to the
rank and file, the result would be an instant falling off
in the receipts of our treasury, and the Lord knows they
are small enough and inadequate enough as it is. The
average man would reason, if the heathen can be saved
after all in some other way, it is not necessary for me to
deny myself in order to send them the gospel. So keep
still, my dear Burgess, just keep your views to yourself
as some of the rest of us do. Go right along as you
have been doing, and there will be no harm done.’”
“Keith, dear Dr. Durham did not know it, but that
is Jesuitism!” exclaimed Anna, with flashing eyes.
“I thought it was,” he replied quietly, “and the result
was I gave up my office, partly on account of my health,
partly because I could not continue what would actually
have been, for me, getting money under false pretences.”
“Still, Keith, it is not only to save the heathen from
everlasting punishment that we want to send the gospel,
but to give them the present salvation from sin.”
“Certainly. There are other motives left. I think
they may be sufficient to energize our work far beyond
what the Gospel of Fear could do, but they are not at
present the popular motives to which I am expected to
appeal. The future of the cause is not clear to me. If
Durham is right, and the nerve of missions will be cut
when people cease to believe that the heathen are necessarily
damned because they have not accepted Christ,
why then I have little hope, because it seems to me impossible
for thinking people to hold this view much
215longer. But I must admit that it is hard enough to get
them to give money when they believe implicitly in the
immediate and hopeless doom of every heathen soul
departing to judgment.”
“Keith, they don’t believe it! Nobody believes it! It
is monstrous. If we really believed such things as practically
taking place, we should all lose our reason. Our
only escape from insanity, I believe, is that, while with
our mouths and with our opinions we have declared such
things, in our hearts and in our deeper conviction we
have denied them, knowing that they would be treason
to God. What misleads us all, Keith, I am beginning
to believe, is that we have felt bound to accept a system
which theologians have worked out, and which has involved
a paring down of both God and man to make
them fit into the narrow grooves they have assigned
them in the hard logic of their formulas.”
“Well, let us make this question concrete; illustrate
it from life,” said Keith, leaning back languidly in his
arm-chair. “How is it with yourself? You have been
taught, and have believed until very recently, this doctrine
of universal condemnation of all heathen ‘out of
Christ,’ and now, it seems, you have begun to question
it. What is the effect on the missionary motive in your
case? Would you feel as eager as ever to go as a missionary?
Does the subject appeal to your conscience
as powerfully as before?”
Anna looked at Keith for a moment in thoughtful
silence, and then shook her head.
“No.”
“You see Dr. Durham was right,” said Keith, sadly.
“If this is true of you, who have all your life been
pledged to this work,—and I admit that it is true of
216myself,—what can be expected of the careless crowd,
indifferent at best?”
Anna had been walking restlessly up and down the
library. Now she came back to the heavy black oak table
at which her husband was sitting, sat down, and, resting
her elbows on the table, propped her chin in both hands,
and so sat silently for many moments. Then she began
to speak, but very slowly, rather as if thinking aloud:—
“I have been accustomed, and so have you, all our
lives, to the stimulus, the spur, of a piercingly powerful
motive, the most powerful possible, I should think.—To
save somebody from immediate death when the means
of rescue is in your hands is a motive to which every
human being must respond, instinctively. Suppose this
motive is shown to be, in some degree at least, based
upon a misunderstanding, and we find that we are asked
to alleviate suffering instead of to save life, why would
it not be perfectly natural, almost inevitable, that at first
there should be a reaction? Accustomed to the stronger
stimulus, just at first our motives and purposes would
languish, I think. Mine do. I can’t help owning it,
Keith. But I can imagine that deeper knowledge of
God, higher conceptions of human brotherhood, of what
they call the solidarity of the race—things like that—which
I only dimly realize yet, might reënforce our poor
wills, and knit again the nerve if it has been cut. Don’t
you think so?”
Keith watched his wife as she sat thus speaking, and
a great tenderness was in his eyes.
“You are a very wonderful woman, Anna,” he said;
“your thought always goes beyond mine.”
She did not seem to hear what he said, for she went
on in the same musing tone:—
217“In a way, it seems to me, sometimes, as if every
hope, every purpose, every controlling motive with which
I started out in life, had slipped away from me, this of
missionary work with the rest. All that I thought I
could do or become has been rendered impossible in one
way or another, and whatever capacity or force there is
in me is unapplied. I can’t even be a comfortable society
woman; other people won’t let me, even if I can
let myself, and you know how I find it impossible to fit
into conventional charities. Everywhere I seem to be
superfluous, out of harmony with my environment. I
thought once, I was vain enough to think, that God
wanted me for some special service,—that he would give
me a work for him and for his children; but I am thirty
years old now, Keith, and what have I done?”
“You have been a dear wife and a faithful child,—a
true Christian woman,—is that not enough?”
Anna smiled wistfully.
“It is not good for any one to simply be, and bring
nothing to pass. But to-night I feel that whatever new
wine life is to bring me will have to be put into new
bottles. The old motives and forces have spent themselves,
and the old hopes; and the forms which held
them, have gone with them, for me.”
Christianity has hitherto only partially, feebly, and waveringly taught its
great doctrine. Christendom has not believed its own gospel. Forsaking the
vital religion of Jesus, and of all the heroes and saints as impracticable, men have
put up with a sort of conventional Christianity, from which the great essential
ideas of the Golden Rule and the real presence of God were dropped out.
—C. F. Dole.
“I have spoken for three nights in this place, and for
three nights you have heard me patiently. I have not
regarded the favour of any man, but neither have I
wished to bruise or wound. And yet, as I stand here
now for the last time, I must declare the whole truth as
it has been given to me. I have charged upon our
present social and industrial conditions grave responsibility.
To-night I declare plainly that you who calmly
accept and profit by them, whether you know it or
whether you know it not, are rejecting Jesus of Nazareth
and his kingdom.”
The speaker was John Gregory, the place a large hall
in the city of Burlington, crowded to its utmost with
eager listeners, for the theories which he proclaimed
were new and startling in that day.
As in his earlier revival preaching, so now, Gregory’s
utterance was attended with peculiar power. There was
this difference, however, between his relation to his
audience now and in that other time: then a familiar
appeal was reënforced, even though involuntarily and
unconsciously, by the full weight of his personal and
psychic influence; now he relied wholly, it appeared,
222upon the dynamic of his message. His manner was
more impassioned than in that earlier time, but less
exciting.
Keith and Anna Burgess, from their places in the
audience with Mrs. Ingraham, whose guests they were,
watched and listened with almost breathless intensity of
interest. They had not heard it on this wise before.
“Do you remember,” continued Gregory, with searching
emphasis, “that on a certain day the Master said,
‘Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter
into the kingdom of heaven’? Do you remember how
the twelve men who followed him were said to have been
‘exceedingly amazed’? From the fourth century, when
the Church and the world formed their unhallowed union,
down to the present day, men have continued to be
‘exceedingly amazed’ at a saying so inconvenient and
so revolutionary, and have set themselves to blunt its
sharp edge or to explain it away altogether.
“To-night I am here to say to you plainly, This is a
faithful saying, worthy of all acceptation, and woe unto
him who seeks to take it away from the words of Christ.
Put with it, if you will, other like words from the lips
of Christ and his Apostles, rather than seek to abate the
force of these. But why are the rich condemned?
Surely they are the most law-abiding, most influential
class in every community! Because the riches of the
rich man are founded upon a lie! This is the lie: that
a man has the right to build up his own prosperity and enjoyment
upon the suffering and privation of his fellow-men.
“Ask yourselves, men who listen to me now, do I
tell the truth?
“You made your money in trade; very well—is trade
just? Could you, under present conditions, have made
223money, had you dealt justly and loved mercy? had you
lived the truth, shown the truth? Could your trade
have prospered if you had followed the simplest rule
of Christ, ‘Do unto others as ye would have them do
unto you?’
“Is not the very basis of your trade and of your gains
that you force other men into failure, dejection, and
poverty, and rise upon the wreck of them? Well has
it been said, ‘A rich man’s happiness is built up of a
thousand poor men’s sorrows.’
“Many men make their money in manufacture, perhaps
not largely so in this city; but the conditions are
familiar to us all. Very well, is manufacture true to
God, true to men?
“The profits, we will say of a given manufacture,
were not great enough last year; the owners had a large
income, but not as large as they wanted; some of the
rich stockholders grumbled. What did they do? They
reduced the beggarly wages of the toilers in their iron
prisons, sent them home to their wives and children
with less than sufficed to give them daily bread and
shelter, and they knew it. They sent pure girls to the
life of shame, and honest men to the black refuge of
despair. Thus they declared their dividend, and their
rich neighbours praised their business genius and pocketed
their share of the gains complacently; and the rich grew
richer, and the poor, poorer. This done, they come
before God with pious words; they pass boxes in the
churches to gather the widows’ and the orphans’ mites
whose burdens they do not lift, no, not with one finger;
they build a hospital now and then; they found a university,
and their names are exalted; they sit in their
homes with all their treasures of art, of intellect, and of
224refinement about them, and thank the Lord that they
are not as other men are, or even as that poor fellow
they hear reeling, profane and drunken, down the street,
because no home is his, no hope, no God.
“Hear the words which God hath sworn by his holy
prophets:
“‘Forasmuch, therefore, as your treading is upon the
poor, and ye take from him burdens of wheat; ye have
built houses of hewn stone, but ye shall not dwell in
them; ye have planted pleasant vineyards, but ye shall
not drink wine of them.
“‘For I know your manifold transgressions and your
mighty sins; they afflict the just, they take a bribe, and
they turn aside the poor in the gate from their right.
“‘Woe to the City of Blood!
“‘Woe unto them that join house to house, that lay
field to field, till there be no place, that they may be
placed alone in the midst of the earth!
“‘Woe to them that are at ease in Zion!... that
lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their
couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the
calves out of the midst of the stall, that chant to the
sound of the viol and invent to themselves instruments
of music, ... that drink wine in bowls and anoint
themselves with the chief ointments; but they are not
grieved for the affliction of Joseph!
“‘Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and
establisheth a city by iniquity!
“‘Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to
deliver them in the day of the Lord’s wrath.
“‘For, behold, the Lord said unto me, What seest
thou? And I said, A plumb-line. Then said the
Lord, Behold, I will set a plumb-line in the midst of
225my people Israel: I will not again pass by them any
more.
“‘For judgment will I lay to the line and righteousness
to the plumb-line: and the hail shall sweep away
the refuge of lies, and the waters shall overflow the
hiding-place.
“‘For ye have said, We have made a covenant with
death, and with hell are we at agreement; we have made
lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves.
“‘But your covenant with death shall be disannulled
and your agreement with hell shall not stand.’”
As the speaker went on marshalling and massing with
stern conviction the tremendous indictments and declarations
of the Hebrew prophets, which the people before
him had never heard thus definitely applied to their own
social conditions, the dramatic effect became irresistible.
A mighty blast of wind seemed to bow their heads, and
many trembled and grew pale.
Suddenly John Gregory, whose whole face and figure
had been rigid and set with the awe of what he spoke,
stepped out to the very edge of the platform, and, with
a gesture of gentleness and reconcilement, and a smile
which relaxed the tense mood of his hearers, cried:—
“But this is not all! Never did the prophets leave
the people without a ray of hope—never did they withhold
“‘Belief in plan of God enclosed in time and space,
Health, peace, salvation.’
“‘Is it a dream?
Nay, but the lack of it a dream,
And failing it life’s love and wealth a dream,
And all the world a dream.’”
226These words were spoken with no less conviction
than those which had gone before, but the change of
voice, of expression, of attitude and gesture, were those
which only a master of oratory could have so swiftly
effected. The audience, now wholly under his control,
felt a new thrill of comfort, of hope, even of exultation.
“The Spirit of God is brooding in the bosom of all
this chaos, and a new day dawns. Fear not, but look
within. Your own heart confesses the bond of brotherhood
which unites you to all the race. Let your heart
speak.
“Men everywhere see the new light, and confess and
deny not that it is the true light, the light which lighteth
every man coming into the world, until sin and selfishness
quench it.
“The day is come when men shall no longer greedily
seek their own salvation; the straitened individualism
of the fathers has had its day; even the passion for personal
perfection is refined selfishness from the new point
of view. Many Christian souls have been misled in the
past by the mistaken idea of self-sacrifice and renunciation,
not for their results to humanity, but for the perfecting
of self, a fruitless, joyless, Christless thing. The
continual seeking for the safety here and hereafter of the
individual—the man’s own advantage, what if spiritual?—held
up always as his chief and noblest aim,
have resulted in Christianity becoming a symbol for sublimated
selfishness.
“A greater, nobler motive is ours to-day—no new
gospel, but a right reading of the old, a deeper insight
into his purpose who said, ‘If any man serve me, let him
follow me.’
“Here may we, at last, and perhaps for the first time
227in long years of blind and baffled longing for the fellowship
of Christ our Sacrifice, learn the awful joy of dying
in our own lives that so we may not live alone.
“Your soul cannot rise toward God, my brother,
while you are treading down other souls beneath your
feet. Cease the hopeless effort. Take the world’s burden
on your heart, and you shall know Christ. Refuse
the joys which can only be for the few and the rich.
Take nothing but what you can share. Learn poverty
and simplicity and hardihood; unlearn luxury, exclusiveness,
epicureanism. Be pioneers in the new state, apostles
of the new-old gospel—the Gospel of Brotherhood,
of Fellowship, of Sacrifice.”
As Anna Mallison, in her early girlhood, had responded
with swift, unquestioning response to the simple
appeal of the missionary, and had offered herself unreservedly
to the work of seeking lost souls in the heathen
world, so now, in the maturity of her womanhood, her
inmost soul confessed that her hour had come. The
message of John Gregory, heard vaguely and partially
before, had now reached her fully, and she found its
claim upon her irresistible.
“Where this leads, I follow,” a voice said in her heart;
“I follow though I die! It is for this I have waited.”
Turning, she looked into her husband’s face, and their
eyes met. Keith Burgess read what he intuitively expected
in the deep awe of Anna’s eyes; while she read in
his a sympathy and response, real, and yet strangely sad.
Gregory had been about to leave the platform, his
address ended; but the audience sat unmoving, as if they
would hear more. A man rose up then, in the middle
of the hall, and spoke.
“Mr. Gregory,” he said, “some of the people are
228saying that, having told us so much, you ought to tell us
more. If it is true that you have some scheme or system
by which people like us could live such a life as you
describe, we want to hear about it.”
Having so said, he sat down.
John Gregory turned about and came slowly back to
his former place. Here he stood, confronting the people
with a gravely musing smile. Again, as she saw him,
there swept over Anna’s memory the sense that this was
the presence of her girlish dream, and the old indefinable
sense of joy in the power of this man was shed into her
heart.
“You want to hear me say something about Fraternia,
I suppose,” said Gregory, slowly.
“I am not here for that purpose. I covet no man’s
silver or gold for my project, let that be distinctly understood
first of all. Fraternia has not had to beg for support,
thus far. Men and women who are like-minded
with ourselves are welcome to join themselves to us.
No others need apply,” and he smiled a peculiar,
humorous smile of singular charm.
“Fraternia,” he continued, “is an experiment. It is
only a year old. Is is what may be called a coöperative
colony, I should think; that is, a little community of
people who believe that no one ought to be idle and
no one ought to overwork, and accordingly all work a
reasonable number of hours a day. We also believe
that an aristocratic, privileged class is not a good thing,
not even a necessary evil, but a mere gross product of
human selfishness. We have none, accordingly, in
Fraternia, nor anything corresponding to it. We are
all on a precisely equal footing. That bitterest and
tightest of all class distinctions, the aristocracy of money,
229is unknown among us. Those who have joined us have
thus far put their property into the common treasury, and
all fare alike. We propose to work out this social problem
on actual and practical lines. We all work and all
share alike in the results of our work.
“You will ask what we do. Fraternia lies in a valley
among the foothills of southwestern North Carolina. We
raise all kinds of fruit, some grain, and some cotton. We
have water-power, a mountain stream as beautiful as it is
useful, and so we have built a cotton mill. We have
made it as pretty as we could, this mill,—better than
any man’s house, since the house is for the individual,
and the mill for the use of all. By the same token our
church and our library are to be finer than our houses
when we advance so far as to build them. We have
nothing costly or luxurious in Fraternia, but our mill is
really very attractive. We all like to work in it. You
know it is natural to like to work under human and
decent conditions. I believe no man ever liked absolute
idleness. It is overwork and work under hideous and
unwholesome conditions against which men revolt.
“In our personal and home life, simplicity and hardihood
are the key-notes. No servants are employed, for
all serve. Our luxuries are the mountain laurel and pine,
the exquisite sky and air, the voices of the forest, the
crystal clearness of the brook. In these we all share.
So do we in the books and the few good pictures which
we are so happy as to own; in the best music we can
muster and in the service of divine worship. Life is
natural, homely, simple, joyous. Its motive: By love,
serve one another. From no one is the privilege of service
withheld. Thank God, we have no forlorn leisure
class.
230“Our mission, however, is not to ourselves alone, but
to the world outside. We are holding up, by our daily
living, a constant object-lesson. We are preaching coöperation
and social brotherhood louder than any voice
can ever preach it, and the small child and the simple
girl can preach as well as the cultured woman and the
strong man.
“Who are we? We are mostly from England, many
from the slums of London, others from its higher circles,
some Germans and Scandinavians, and thus far not more
than a dozen American families. Some of us had nothing
to begin with, and some had large property; some were
so unfortunate as to belong to the number of those who
oppress the poor in mills and mines, while others were
simple peasants. We have no difficulty in living happily
together on the broad basis of a common human nature,
a common purpose, and a common hope.
“But there is another side to this adventure, friends,”
and Gregory spoke with deeper seriousness. “Fraternia
is nothing unless it is builded on the immutable laws of
God and of righteousness. Never, never can we succeed
if sin grows little to us and self large. Our message will
be taken from us, our arm will be paralyzed, if the day
shall ever come when the lust of gold, the lust of power,
the lust of pride, shall taint the free air of our high valley.
“So then, if any among you would join our ranks, see
that you shrive your souls and come to us seeking only
the Kingdom of God and his righteousness.”
231
Sin and hedgehogs are born without spikes, but how they wound and prick
after their birth we all know. The most unhappy being is he who feels remorse
before the deed, and brings forth a sin already furnished with teeth in its birth,
the bite of which is soon prolonged into an incurable wound of conscience.
—Richter.
On the steps of the rostrum, as he descended them,
John Gregory was met by a man of singular aspect, a
man who has been encountered by us before, in the
house of Senator Ingraham,—his son, Oliver.
As the two clergymen whom he had then addressed
had been disturbed, and even dismayed, by this strange
face and figure, the smooth, egglike face with its enormous
forehead, narrow eyes, and wide, thin-lipped
mouth, so now Gregory drew back instinctively, finding
the singular apparition thus suddenly before him.
Mr. Oliver Ingraham did not appear to notice the
movement, but, smiling his peculiarly complacent smile,
held out one long, sinuous hand, and as Gregory took
it, not over eagerly, he remarked in his high, feminine
voice:—
“I liked your line very much, Mr. Gregory. Nothing
would suit me better than to see these rich men
brought to book. They’ll get their come-uppance in the
next world, anyway; but I sometimes get tired of waiting.
It would be a satisfaction to see Dives, Esquire,
taking his torments here once in a while, don’t you
think so?” and the malevolent leer with which the question
was accompanied gave Gregory a chill of disgust.
232Oliver held in his left hand a handsomely bound
note-book and silver pencil-case which it was his custom
to carry everywhere. Gregory, now about to pass on,
and greet the crowds who were waiting to speak with
him just below, was again stopped.
“Just a moment, Mr. Gregory,” said the other, slipping
off the elastic, and opening the note-book with the
dexterity of constant habit; “I want you to help me a
little in gathering some very valuable statistics. It’s
rather in your line, I take it. I have been engaged in
this work for several years, and find it extremely interesting.”
Gregory noted the long, white, flexible fingers of the
man, and the look, half of deficient intellect and half of
cunning, in his face.
“Please make haste, Mr. Ingraham,” he said shortly,
“there are others waiting.”
“I am making a computation,” Oliver continued
imperturbably, “in fact, a carefully tabulated record, according
to nations, of the probable number of souls from
each nation now in Sheol—it is considered polite now
to call it Sheol, I believe. We used to say hell when
we were boys, didn’t we, Mr. Gregory?” and Oliver
laughed his low, cruel laugh.
“Excuse me,” exclaimed Gregory, impatiently; “I
could not give you any information on that subject. I
have never been there. Allow me to pass on, if you
please.”
Oliver closed his book as if not unaccustomed to
rebuffs; but, as Gregory’s forward movement obliged him
to retreat down the steps, he remarked slyly:—
“I had a message to you from the senator, if you only
weren’t in such a hurry. He is one of the fellows that
233will have to go to now, weep and howl. He has the
shekels, I can tell you! What he wants of you is more
than I can figure out. I should suppose Ahab would
as soon have sent for Elijah.”
“Did your father send for me?” asked Gregory,
surprised. They were now at the foot of the steps, and
the crowd was gathering about them.
“Yes; he would like to see you in his office on this
same block, next building, as soon as you can get away
from here. You work him right, and you can get something
out of him for your Utopia.” The last words were
called back aloud with a series of confidential nods, as
Oliver turned and plunged into the crowd, who seemed
to make a way for him with especial facility. Gregory
saw him go with a keen sense of heat and discomfort.
Half an hour later, Gregory found himself in the
office of Senator Ingraham, seated in a substantial office-chair
by the well-appointed desk, while Mr. Ingraham,
himself in evident and most unusual mental disturbance,
walked up and down the room. Suddenly he wheeled,
and confronted Gregory, as if with sudden, though difficult,
resolution.
“Mr. Gregory,” he said, low, and with the stern,
terse brevity of a man who finds himself forced to
speak what he would rather leave unsaid, “for over
thirty years I have carried certain facts in my personal
history shut up in my own memory. Not one other
being, to the best of my belief, has shared my knowledge.
To-night, I cannot tell how, I do not know why, I feel
that I must break silence, and before you—stranger as
you are—unload my burden. A strange compulsion
seems upon me to disclose the things I have hitherto
lived to conceal. What there is in you or in what I
234have heard you say, to bring me to this point, I cannot
understand; but I feel in you something which makes
you alone, of all men I have ever met, the one to whom
I can speaks—and must. Are you willing to hear
me?”
John Gregory noted the set, hard lines in the lawyer’s
face, the knotted cords in his hands, and the tone,
half of defiance, half of self-abasement, with which he
threw out this abrupt question. Accustomed to encounters
with men in their innermost spiritual struggles,
Gregory was in no way astonished or excited by this
surprising beginning of their interview, and simply nodded
gravely in token that Ingraham should proceed.
“I will not affront you by demanding secrecy on
your part,” the latter began haughtily; “if it were
possible for you to betray my confidence, it would have
been impossible for me to give it to you. I understand
men.”
He paused. Gregory made no remark in confirmation
of this assertion, but the direct, unflinching look with
which he met the appeal in the eyes of the speaker was
full guarantee of good faith. There was promise of
profound and sympathetic attention in Gregory’s look,
there was also judicial calmness and reserve; in fine, the
characteristics of the priest and the judge were singularly
united in him, and it was to the perception of this fact
that he owed the present interview.
“I do not know whether I am a respectable citizen
or a murderer,” Ingraham now began, turning again to
walk the floor, while an uncontrollable groan as of
physical anguish accompanied this unexpected declaration.
“Imagine, if you will, what thirty years have been
inwardly with this uncertainty as food for thought, served
235to me by conscience, or some fiend, morning and night.
If I could have forgotten for one blessed day, it has
been ingeniously rendered impossible, for sin in bodily
form is ever before me. You have seen my son.”
With this sentence, harsh and curt, Ingraham paused,
glanced aside at Gregory, who assented, and then continued
to walk and speak. His voice and manner alike
showed that he was holding himself in control by the
effort of all his will. Strange distorting lines appeared
in his face, and there was heavy sweat on his forehead.
“I was twenty-five years old when I was married,
and was alone in the world save for one brother,—Jim, we
always called him,—two years younger than I. We had
inherited a good name, strong physique, and some little
property from our parents, and started in life shoulder to
shoulder. In Burlington, where we first began business
life together, we became intimately acquainted with a
family in which there were two daughters. The elder,
Cornelia, was very pretty and singularly attractive. Men
always fell in love with her. I did, desperately. The
younger sister was a commonplace, uninteresting girl,
rather sentimental perhaps, not otherwise remarkable.
“I shall make this story as short as possible. I offered
myself to Cornelia after long wooing, and was refused.
I was bitterly wounded, angry, defiant. While I was in
that state of mind, it became apparent to me that I was
secretly an object of peculiar interest to the younger sister.
Like many another fool, half in spite and half in heart-sickness,
I sought her hand, and was at once accepted,
and our marriage followed quickly. Within the year
Cornelia and Jim became engaged. There was a hard,
silent grudge against Jim in my heart from the day I first
suspected that it was he who had stood between Cornelia
236and me, and their engagement increased the grudge to
hate.
“We had, before this, put the whole of our inheritance
into mining fields in what was then the far West, buying
up a large tract of land, divided equally between us. The
year after my marriage we moved West for a time, and I
started out on a prospecting tour of our land; Jim to follow
me when he had finished establishing a kind of business
office in pioneer quarters, in a small town as near the base
of our operations as was feasible. My wife remained in
this town.
“On horseback, with two engineers and a copper
expert and an Indian guide, I rode through our possessions.
Miners were already at work, and had pursued
the lead far enough to prove pretty distinctly that,
while Jim’s part of the tract was likely to be fairly productive,
the vein stopped short of mine, which was thus
practically worthless.
“I rode back to our camp in a black mood. Jim, it
seemed, was to succeed in everything; all that he sought
was his, and for me there was nothing but failure and
defeat. All the way back I brooded bitterly on the
contrast between us, until I was in a still frenzy of
jealousy when I reached the camp. The contrast
between Cornelia, for whom I still had a wild, hopeless
passion, and my wife, sickly, dull, indeed disagreeable
to me already, was maddening, and had been
sufficiently so before. But now, when I thought of
Jim, with Cornelia for his wife and the certain prospect
of large wealth to add to his elation, while I was without
a penny or a prospect of any sort, the rage and fury in
my mind became almost intoxicating.
“We had encountered hostile Indians on the trail as
237we returned, but our bold, dare-devil dash through this
danger made slight impression on me. I think death
would have been welcome to me that night. God
knows I wish I had met it then. My heart was evil
enough, but at least it had not the guilt that came later.
“I suppose, Mr. Gregory, that I am answerable for
my brother’s death—not in the eye of the law, but
before God. And yet—if you could tell me that I
am mistaken, that I exaggerate, that other men would
have done the same and held themselves guiltless—if
that could be—” Ingraham broke off and fixed his eyes
on Gregory’s face once more, as if in appeal for his life.
“Please go on,” was Gregory’s response, but the
words were gently spoken, as the words of a physician
when he is diagnosing a manifestly mortal disease.
“Very well,” said Ingraham, harshly. “Jim was at
the camp, and was boy enough to parade a letter from
Cornelia before me. We quarrelled fiercely, about what
I cannot remember, but I could not restrain the storm
of rage and jealousy in me. It had to break loose somewhere.
I refused to tell Jim what I had discovered
regarding the lead, and he declared he would go and find
out for himself. I said he would be a fool if he did,
but gave him no hint of the fact that there were hostile
Indians on the way. He knew nothing of the conditions,
nor the character of the people about us, having
never been in the country before. It was early in the
morning. We had ridden all night, and the men had
gone to their tents and were sleeping off the effects of
our struggle. I told Jim he could not get a guide. He
merely whistled in a light-hearted, careless way he had,
and started off to a neighbouring camp, in search, as I
inferred, of some escort. I saw him no more, and made
238no attempt to govern his actions, and did not even know
whether he had started. Who and what the guide was
whom he obtained, I learned later.
“I slept most of that day, after Jim disappeared, exhausted
in body and mind, and continued to sleep far
into the night, keeping my tent door securely closed, as
I wished to see and speak to no one. It was, perhaps,
three o’clock of the morning following when I was
roused by a strange noise at my tent door. Starting up
from my bed on the ground, I saw that some one had
cut open the fastenings, and that the flap was drawn
back. In the opening thus formed stood the shape
of an Indian rider on horseback, perfectly motionless.
The moonlight, which was unusually brilliant, fell full
upon the face of this man, and I recognized him at
once, with a horrible chill of foreboding, as a half-witted
Indian who sometimes acted as guide, but only to those
who knew no better than to accept his services, which
were worthless and treacherous. He was a half-breed,
an odious, repulsive being, with only wit enough to be
malicious, and of abnormal treachery and cruelty even
for his kind. Never can I forget that face of his in the
moonlight. He spoke not one word, but simply sat
his horse and looked at me with his narrow, gleaming
eyes, a malignant grin making his ugliness fairly fiendish.
If you want to get a faint idea of his look, recall
the face of Oliver—my son;” Ingraham’s voice sunk
to a whisper, and he added, “I can never escape it.”
Gregory’s brows knit heavily, and his face reflected
something of the tortured misery of the man before
him.
“It was not,” said Ingraham, “until I had staggered
to my feet that I saw that across his saddle-bow this
239creature carried a dead body—Jim. There was an
Indian arrow in his side.”
“No matter, no matter for the rest; I understand,”
said Gregory, hastily.
There was silence for a moment, and then Ingraham,
with a strong effort, rallied himself to conclude his story.
“I was Jim’s heir.” These words were spoken with
hard and scornful emphasis. “That was a feature of
the case which presents complications to a man in forming
a judgment. Perhaps you will believe me when I
say that this issue had not entered my mind in letting
the boy go to his death. Indeed, the whole series of
events was without deliberation, but under the influence
of blind, sullen anger.”
“I believe you,” said Gregory.
“All the same, I profited by his death. The mines
proved immensely valuable, and are even to-day. They
have made me rich—and incomparably wretched. A
word or two more, and you will know the whole story.
Jim was brought home, here, for burial, my wife and I
returning with his body. All through that journey, and
continually, for many months, I saw before me, waking
or sleeping, that face of cruelty incarnate, the half-witted
Indian guide, as I had seen him on that awful night.
That face was my Nemesis. It is still.
“Within the year my wife gave birth to a son,
Oliver,—a strange perversion, made up of moral obliquity,
mental distortion, and physical deformity, like an
embodiment of sin. On his face was stamped by some
strange trick of nature the image which had haunted
me—as if the Fates, or the Fiends, or God himself, had
feared I might forget, and know a day of respite.
“My wife died when Oliver was a few months old,—died
240of cold, I believe, the chill of our loveless marriage.
Two years later Cornelia and I were married. I
believe she has been happy. I have been prospered,
and have risen to a position of some influence, and we
have all that could be desired in our home, in our three
daughters. But when, to-night, I heard you pronounce
the judgments of God on men who had built up prosperity
upon a lie, I was like a man struck in his very
heart. I felt that I could no longer endure my hidden
load, and must confess to one human being my past, and
make restitution, if by any means it is yet possible.
The Romish Church is merciful, when it provides the
possibility of confession to sinful men.
“What have you to say to me? Have you healing
for such a sore as mine?”
With these abrupt words Ingraham threw himself
into a leather-covered arm-chair with the action of complete
exhaustion. His aspect was changed from that of
the alert, confident man of the world and of affairs, to
that of a broken down and shattered age.
241
Sin is not a monster to be mused on, but an impotence to be got rid of.
—Matthew Arnold.
Use sin as it will use you; spare it not, for it will not spare you; it is your
murderer and the murderer of the world: use it, therefore, as a murderer should
be used. Kill it before it kills you; and though it kill your bodies, it shall not
be able to kill your souls: and though it bring you to the grave, as it did your
Head, it shall not be able to keep you there.—Baxter.
John Gregory met the demand thus made upon him
with all the moral and spiritual resources of which he
was master, for all were needed. The full strength of
the man’s personality was brought into action, the lofty
severity, the unflinching hate of sin, and yet the clear
vision which could see beyond the torture and taint of it,
and sound the depth of a nature which thus agonized for
redemption and for righteousness.
“The only sin,” he said, in the words of another,
“which is unforgiven is the sin which is unrepented of.
That early yielding to a paroxysm of jealousy and rage
had a fearful, and yet it may even be a merciful, result.
There are those who have given way to worse, and, no
result following, have lived on in hardness of heart and
contempt of God’s law. Christ’s inflexible law, far
more rigorous than the old law of Moses, says he that
hateth his brother is a murderer. Murder, then, is the
commonest of social sins, rather than the rarest. Christ
also says that it was for sinners that he came to die, not
for the righteous. His love overflows all our sin, and
finds no halt at the degrees of guilt which men emphasize
242in their shallow judgment. Men judge by consequences,
by outward events; God looks upon the heart.
“Looking upon the heart, as far as we may, with
God, I say then, you have been guilty of murder, but so
have other men. Many a man has cherished a spirit of
bitter revenge and hatred against one who had injured
him, who has not suffered what you have, not having
caused or profited by the death of that person, directly
or indirectly; but before God you are perhaps equally
guilty.
“I do not count your sin slight. I would not seek to
make it small in your own eyes, but I believe that you
are released from the guilt and burden borne so long, and
should no longer stagger under it. Has not Almighty
God given to his servants power and commandment to
declare to those who are penitent the absolution and
remission of their sins?
“What did our Lord say to the leper who sought his
cleansing? ‘I will, be thou clean.’ Even this he says
to you. Throw off that old yoke of bondage. It is
your right. Go free in the liberty of the sons of God,
but go to sin no more.”
These words, spoken with the authority of a priest,
and with the solemnity of absolute conviction, brought
something of light and release to the troubled heart of
Ingraham.
The hour was late, indeed, morning was at hand,
when, lifting his face upon which a certain calmness had
settled, he said to Gregory, earnestly:—
“I believe I grasp the truth of what you say, and
that there is for me a certain peace, a partial release,
although forgetfulness never. But this is not enough;
the cry of my whole soul is to make restitution in some
243sort, somewhere, although how and to whom I cannot
see. I still have the stain that I profit by my sin.
What can you tell me? Do you see a way for me?”
John Gregory looked at Ingraham steadily for a
moment before speaking, and then said very slowly:—
“Do you remember what the Master said to a certain
ruler, ‘Sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the
poor, and come, follow me’? If you are in earnest, Mr.
Ingraham, and if you feel that, as your experience of sin
has been in no light and common form, but in a depth
of agony which few men ever know, so your repentance
should be along no mild and easy lines, but should reach
to the foundations of your life—if, I say, you see things
thus, and can bear so strong a prescription, I should repeat
to you literally what Christ said to the rich ruler.
It is a hard saying; not every man can receive it.”
The two men faced each other in silence for a moment,
and Gregory saw the leap of a sudden question in
the other’s eyes.
“No,” he said sternly, as if in answer to a spoken
inquiry, “I am not advising you with an eye on my
own advantage. My thought was not of my own cause,
but of the cause of humanity anywhere. Pardon me if
I speak plainly; I could not use a farthing of your
money, were it all at my disposal, for building up the
work I am seeking to establish in Fraternia. Recall
what you heard me say to-night of the true Kingdom
of God. I could not use your money, Mr. Ingraham,
in seeking to show forth that kingdom; but I could use
you, should you wish to come with us, if you came
empty-handed.”
The lawyer felt the pitiless severity of Gregory’s
moral standard and all that this dictum implied, but he
244did not resist it. His humiliation and submission were
sincere, and, for the time at least, controlling; but doubt
and conflict were plainly read in his face.
“Is it a hard saying?” John Gregory asked, with a
slight smile.
“Yes, harder than you know. I could do what you
say, were I alone to be considered; but to reduce my
family to beggary, to cut short my career and stain my
reputation by the cloud which would inevitably rest
upon it in the community by such an unheard-of course
of action, to take my wife and daughters from their
social world to follow me, sent like a scapegoat into
some wilderness—really, Mr. Gregory, what you name
is beyond reason!”
Gregory made absolutely no response. After a long
silence, Ingraham said thoughtfully:—
“This is about the way I see for myself: from this
time on I shall seek to live a humbler and a sincerely
Christian life, and shall strive in every way open to me
to aid and further the cause of righteousness, with my
money and with my influence. In this way I shall
bring happiness and satisfaction to my wife, to whom
I owe the highest obligation, next to God, instead of
destroying her comfort by dragging her with me into
some late missionary endeavour or eccentric experiment.
Pardon me, Mr. Gregory, if I too speak plainly.
“But this is not all. Although I feel no individual
call in the direction of your coöperative colony, and am
not over sanguine of its success, I do believe profoundly
in you, personally, as I must have shown you. Now I
want you to reconsider what you said a little while ago.
Frankly, this discriminating between money made in
one way or another savours to me of superstition. This
245money, which is mine, cannot be destroyed; even you
would hardly advise that. Why not put it to a good use,
the best possible from your point of view? I have never
given away money largely, but I am able to, and I want
to seal our interview to-night with a substantial gift.”
As he spoke, Ingraham turned to his desk and
touched a check-book which lay upon it.
“Mr. Gregory, I want to write my check for fifty
thousand dollars to be placed unconditionally in your
hands. You want a little church down there in your
settlement, and you want it beautiful, worthy of its
purpose; you want a library—both are necessary to
carry on the kind of work you project. Here they are,”
and again he touched the little leather book with his
forefinger; “let me do that much as a memorial of this
night and what you have done for me.”
John Gregory met the look of sincere and even
anxious appeal with which these words were spoken
with unyielding, although not unkindly, firmness.
“This is a generous impulse on your part, Mr. Ingraham.
Do not for a moment think I fail to appreciate
it. You are right; the money must be used, and will
be, I hope, promptly and wisely. You must pardon me
a certain over nicety perhaps in preferring not to build
my church in Fraternia, or even my library, with it.
You will find plenty of men less fastidious, and no one
but myself will, I suppose, have reason to entertain such
scruples.”
Gregory had risen, and was ready now to go. It was
four o’clock, he found, by his watch, and it had been a
long vigil; but, while Ingraham’s face was haggard and
even ghastly, that of Gregory was unchanged in its massive
firmness and its strong, fine lines.
246Ingraham stood at his desk plainly chagrined and ill at ease.
“In your eyes, I see,” he said ruefully, “I am still
in the place of the man who went away sorrowful because
he had great possessions.”
“Perhaps,” said Gregory; “it is too soon to tell.”
“Every man must judge for himself, Mr. Gregory,
when it comes to the supreme acts of his life.”
“Yes,” said the other, sadly; “to the supreme acts
or to the supreme compromises. Will you excuse me
now? I believe that I must go.” Gregory held out
his hand, which Ingraham grasped with eagerness.
“You have honoured me by your confidence and your
generosity. Count me your friend if you will. Good
night.”
247
I tire of shams, I rush to be.—Emerson.
Gertrude Ingraham was still unmarried, still
pretty, still charming in her dainty, high-bred way.
Perhaps the thought crossed Keith Burgess’s mind
as he joined her in her father’s library that evening,
after their return from Gregory’s lecture, that she
would have been, as a wife, a shade less exigeante than
Anna.
Anna, shrinking from the small coin of discussion of
so great themes, had gone directly to their room,—the
room which had been Keith’s on his first visit to Burlington.
Keith remained in the library to accept the
refreshment which Gertrude had prepared for their return,
and found the situation altogether pleasing. It
was a rest to a sensitive, nervous man like himself to
sit down with a pretty woman who had no startling
theories of life and conduct; one who had always
moved, and who would always choose to move, on the
comfortable lines of convention, instead of seeking some
other path for herself, rough and lonely.
Perhaps Keith lingered all the more willingly to-night
because he perceived a rough and lonely path opening
visibly before him, into which he must in all probability
turn full soon.
“What did you think of Mr. Gregory?” asked
Gertrude Ingraham over her tea-cups.
“He is a tremendous speaker,” said Keith, soberly;
248“I never heard a man who could mould an audience to
his will as he does. You were not there to-night.”
“No, but I heard him before you and Mrs. Burgess
came, night before last. I think he has the finest physique
of any orator I ever heard. Don’t you think that is
one source of his power? There is something absolutely
majestic about him when he is speaking. He seems to
overpower you—you must agree with him, whether you
do or not.”
“Then do you accept this new doctrine of his, Miss
Ingraham?”
“You mean that there should be no social distinctions,
no aristocratic and privileged class, no wealth and no
poverty, and all that? I do not know what he said
to-night, you see, but that is the line on which he has
been speaking.”
“Yes, that is what it all comes to.”
“Why, no, of course I don’t believe in it, when I get
away from Mr. Gregory,” said Gertrude, laughing prettily;
“because I really think he is going against the fundamental
laws of God. There have always been rich
people and poor people, and it was intended that there
always should be, I think.”
“It does seem absolutely impracticable to carry out
any such theory in actual life. Certainly it would be
under existing conditions. It can only be done by
radical, by revolutionary methods. Have you heard
what Mr. Gregory is actually doing to illustrate his
theory? Have you heard of Fraternia?”
Gertrude Ingraham lifted her chin with a roguish little
movement and nodded with a charming smile.
“Yes, I have heard of Fraternia too! Isn’t it droll?
That is why I didn’t go to-night, you see. I was afraid
249Mr. Gregory would get hold of me with that irresistible
power of his, and then I should have to go and work in
a cotton mill!” and with this Gertrude lifted her eyebrows
with an expression of plaintive self-pity which
Keith found very taking. “I’m afraid I shouldn’t like
it,” she added archly; “it would be so new, and one’s
hands would get so horrid!”
They laughed together, Keith naturally noting the
delicacy of the small white hands which were manipulating
the transparent china on the low table between
them. Then Mrs. Ingraham and others coming into
the room after them, Keith rose with graceful courtesy
to serve them and to draw them into the conversation.
But all the while Keith had a sense that he was
turning against himself the sharpest weapons which
could have been found, nothing being so instinctively
dreaded by him as to put himself in an absurd situation,
to awaken ridicule, even his own.
Just below the surface of his thought there lay two
formidable facts, like sunk, threatening rocks seen darkly
under smooth water. He knew that Anna would propose
to him that they should throw themselves into Gregory’s
enterprise, and become disciples of the new school;
and he knew that having cut off hitherto, involuntarily or
otherwise, each deepest desire of her soul for the service
of others, he should not dare to thwart her in this. If
she wished to do this thing, he must join her in it.
Keith had himself been deeply moved by Gregory.
The old passion for sacrifice and self-devotion had stirred
again within him. He felt the high courage, the generosity,
the strong initiative of Gregory; he was thrilled
at the sight of a man who could throw himself unreservedly
into a difficult and dangerous crusade, simply
250for an ideal, with all to lose and nothing to gain. He
too had once marched to that same music; his blood was
stirred, and he felt something of the enthusiasm of his
student years, rising warm within him. He perfectly
understood the motions of Anna’s spirit, and shared in
them, up to a certain point. This point was reached
when he touched the limit set by his inborn and inherited
conservatism, his constitutional preference for things as
they were, and his quick dread of making himself absurd.
And now, Gertrude Ingraham with her pretty mocking had
suddenly put the whole thing before him in the light he
dreaded most.
Anna was not thus divided in her mind, and could not
have been. Something of the steadfast simplicity of her
ancient German ancestry preserved her from this characteristically
American form of sensitiveness. She could
have adopted without hesitation, any outward forms,
however out of conformity to usage, however grotesque
in the eyes of others, if she had felt the inward call.
Gregory’s stern and lofty utterances had come to her
with full prophetic weight, and had left nothing in her
to rise up in doubt or gainsaying.
In this mood Keith found her. She was standing,
still fully dressed, before the chimney-piece, where he
had sat one night and dreamed at once of her and Gertrude
Ingraham. Her hands were clasped and hanging
before her; her face was slightly pale, and her eyes
strangely large and luminous. Standing before her,
Keith took her clasped hands between his, and looked
at her with a questioning smile.
“Well, dear,” he said, “what is it?”
“You know,” she answered softly. “Was it not to
you what it was to me? Is it not the very chance we
251wish, to redeem our poor lost hopes of service?—to
leave all the luxuries and privileges and advantages,
and share the world’s sorrows? to become poor and
humble as our Master was? to give what we have
received? Oh, Keith, is it to be, or must another hope
go by?”
As Anna thus cried out, the solemn appeal of her
nature, austere, and yet full-charged with noble passion,
breaking at last through the barriers which had long
held it back, gave her an extraordinary spiritual grandeur.
There was something of awe in the look with which
her husband regarded her. Weapons of fear and doubt
and cavil fell before that celestial sternness in her eyes,—a
look we see sometimes in the innocent eyes of
young children.
“It is to be, Anna. You shall have your way this
time, my wife.”
The words were spoken reverently, with grave gentleness,
and Keith’s own sweet courtesy. Was it Anna’s
fault that she failed, in the exaltation of her mood, to
catch the sadness in them?
Keith was hardly conscious of it himself. He was
thinking, on an unspoken parallel, that he would rather
be privileged to adore Anna Mallison in a moment like
this, even though she led him in a rough and lonely
path, than to dally with another woman in smoothness
and ease.
252
I took the power in my hand
And went against the world;
’Twas not so much as David had,
But I was twice as bold.
I aimed my pebble, but myself
Was all the one that fell.
Was it Goliath was too large,
Or only I too small?
—Emily Dickinson.
We all have need of that prayer of the Breton mariner, “Save us, O God!
Thine ocean is so large and our little boats are so small.”—Farrar.
“Trunks checked for Utopia! Direct passenger
route without change of cars! Ye gods, it doth amaze
me!”
Thus Professor Ward, with a sardonic and yet discomfited
smile, standing in the studio of his friend
Pierce Everett, in Fulham. The room was in the disorder
of a radical breaking up; packing boxes standing
about and litter strewn everywhere.
Everett in his shirt sleeves was piling on a table a
mass of draperies which he had taken from the wall.
He was covered with dust, but his face was full of
joyous excitement.
“Yes, my good friend—straight for Utopia now!
“‘Get on board, chil’en,
Get on board, chil’en,
For there’s room for many a more.’”
253Everett trolled out the old negro chorus with hilarious
enjoyment.
“Quos Deus vult perdere—” began Ward, grimly.
“Oh, we’re all mad, you know. We are simply not
so mad as the rest of you,” interrupted Everett, gayly.
“We have intervals of sanity, and are taking advantage
of one of them to get out of the mad-house, leaving
you other fellows to keep up your unprofitable strife
with phantoms by yourselves, while we actually—yes,
we even dare to believe it—live. Think of that,
Ward, if you have the imagination!” Ward shook his
head. “No, you haven’t; that is so. If you had, you
could not have listened to Gregory unmoved.”
“Confound Gregory,” muttered Ward. “What did
you ever get the man here for, turning our world upside
down!”
“That has been the occupation of seers and prophets
from the beginning, I believe,” retorted Everett, carelessly.
“Seers and prophets!” cried Ward, angrily, “that is
what I can stand least of all. This posing as a kind
of nineteenth century John the Baptist strikes me as
exquisitely ridiculous.”
Everett’s eyes flashed dangerously, but he made no
rejoinder.
“I saw your John the Baptist this morning in the
Central Station buying his railway ticket and morning
paper like any other average man. The locusts and
wild honey were not in evidence.”
“No, he doesn’t take nourishment habitually in railway
stations,” put in Everett, coolly.
“I didn’t see any leathern girdle about his loins,
either, although of course he may wear it next the skin
254for penitential purposes. His clothing appeared to be a
species of camel’s hair—”
“Falsely so called,” put in Everett; “it is really
English tweed. Very good quality.”
“Yes, I’ll venture to say that is true. Your prophet
of the wilderness strikes me as knowing a good thing
when he sees it. Plague take the fellow! He has
just that sort of brute force and sheer overbearing personal
dominance, which you idealists and credulous take
for spiritual authority.”
“Come now, Ward, we may as well keep our tempers
and treat this matter decently. Nothing is gained by
calling names. You are naturally prejudiced against a
man who attacks the existing social order, and suggests
that even the rulers of the synagogue and the great
teachers of the schools have something yet to learn.
Gregory is radical, revolutionary perhaps, but not a
whit more so than the New Testament makes him. He
is an absolutely conscientious man; he has given up
every personal ambition, wealth, position, all that most
men cling to—”
“In order to become a Dictator, in a field where
there is very little competition.”
Everett suppressed the irritation which this interposition
aroused, and continued in a lighter tone,—
“You are enough of a dictator yourself to see this
point, which had escaped the rest of us. I can see that
it is a little bitter to you to have Mrs. Burgess seeking
another spiritual and intellectual adviser,—going after
other gods, as it were.”
“Yes,” said Ward, gravely; “it makes me sick at
heart to see a woman like Mrs. Burgess, with all that
glorious power of self-devotion of hers, throwing herself
255blindly into this wild, Quixotic experiment—sure to
end in disappointment and defeat. It is mournful,
most mournful,” and Ward shook his head in melancholy
fashion. “And when it comes to Keith,” he
resumed, “alas! our brother! Poor Keith, with his lifelong
habits of luxurious ease, his conventional views
of duty, his yardstick imagination, and his wretched
health—to think of such a man being torn from all
the amenities of a refined Christian home, and carted
across lots, Government bonds and all, to be set down
in some malarial swamp to dig ditches with a set of
ploughmen, to prove, forsooth! that all men are created
free and equal,” and Ward groaned and bent his head
as if overcome by the picture he had called up.
Lifting his head suddenly, he added in a tone of pensive
rumination.
“He is one of those men Thoreau tells of, who would
not go a-huckleberrying without a medicine chest; and
he would perish, I am convinced, if deprived of improved
sanitary plumbing.”
“All very clever,” said Everett, “but I will take the
liberty of mentioning the fact that the Burgess’s physician
hails the North Carolina project as the very best
thing which could happen for Keith’s health.”
Hardly had he finished the sentence when a light
knock was heard on the half-open door of the studio,
and Anna Burgess, at Everett’s word, stepped into the
room.
She wore a thin black gown, for the day was warm,
and a broad-brimmed hat of some transparent black substance
threw the fine shape of her head and the pure
tints of her face into striking relief. A handful of white
jonquils was fastened into the front of her gown, and
256the freshness of the June day seemed to enter the dusty,
despoiled studio with her.
Both men stood at gaze before her with deference and
admiration in every line and look. With a delicate flush
rising in her cheeks, Anna gave her hand to each, and
spoke a word of greeting in which her natural shyness
and her acquired social grace were mingled to a manner
of peculiar charm.
“I ran up to hand you these papers for Mr. Gregory,”
she said to Everett, a vibration of suppressed joy in her
full, low voice which he had never heard before. “You
know he said he would like it if you would bring them,”
and she placed a long envelope in his hand. “No, I
cannot stop a moment, Keith is waiting for me in the
carriage. I did not give the papers to the maid because
I wanted to say to you, Mr. Everett, that Keith does not
see it any differently,—about the estate, you know. He
pledges the income, freely, altogether, but he feels that
the estate itself should be kept intact.”
“Thank Heaven, he has a spark of reason left!”
exclaimed Ward under his breath, adding quickly,—
“Pardon me, Mrs. Burgess, but you know I am not
a Gregorian psalm myself, yet.”
Anna turned to him with her rare smile, less brilliant
than clear and luminous.
“But I was so glad you came to the house, Professor
Ward, and heard Mr. Gregory,” she said with gracious
courtesy; “we cannot expect every one to follow out
these new theories practically as we hope to do, but at
least we want every one we care about to know really
what they are.”
“Do you think that many of those present at your
house that afternoon were inclined to accept Mr.
257Gregory’s gospel, if I may so call it?” asked Ward,
respectfully.
“Of course not,” interjected Everett, “there was no
one there but cranks and critics.”
Anna’s face clouded a little. “No,” she said simply.
“Fulham is not a good field for such a message; it was
quite different in Burlington. Most of them went away
saying it would be very fine if it were not wholly impossible.”
“And it does not occur to you, does it, Mrs. Burgess,”
Ward pressed the question with undisguised earnestness,
“that perhaps they were right? that there is something
to be said for the old order, as old as the race? that
possibly certain distinctions are inherent in the nature of
things? Such distinctions, for instance, as separate
you,” and Ward gave the pronoun a freight of significance
to carry, “from that man,” and he indicated a
labourer who had just left the room with an immense box
of merchandise on his broad, bent shoulders, and whose
slow, heavy steps could now be heard on the stairs
below.
He had struck the wrong chord.
“Professor Ward,” cried Anna, her voice even lower
than its wont, but her emphasis the more intense, “did
that man choose to be reduced to the life and little more
than the faculties of a beast of burden, to be a brother
to the ox, to live a blind, brutalized, animal existence,
with neither joy nor star?”
She paused a moment, and then added, with indescribable
pathos dimming the kindling light in her eyes:—
“It is that man, Professor Ward, and what he stands
for, that sends me to Fraternia, if perhaps I can yet
atone. It is I that have made that man what he is, and
258you, and all of us who have clung gladly to our powers
and privileges, and dared to believe that we were made
for the heights of life, and men like him for the abyss.
If we could read our New Testament once as if it were
not an old story! If we, for one moment, could lay our
social cruelties beside that pattern shown us in the
mount!”
The deep heart of her and the innermost motive
power broke forth from Anna’s usual quiet and reserve
in these last words with thrilling influence upon both
men. She was beautiful as she spoke, but with the
beauty of some Miriam or Cassandra,—a woman, as
had been said of her long before, “to die for, not to
play games with.”
Professor Ward, the irritation of his earlier mood
quite gone, stood regarding Anna as she spoke with
a sadness as profound as it was wholly unaffected.
Having spoken, she turned to go.
“Let me say one word, Mrs. Burgess,” he said, extending
his hand to detain her a moment. “I sympathize
deeply with your purposes, and I am not wholly
incapable of appreciating your motives. From my
heart I shall bid you God-speed on your way when your
time comes to go out into this new spiritual adventure.
It will be none the less noble because it is impossible.”
“Good-by,” she said, and smiled.
259
Canst drink the waters of the crispèd spring?
O sweet Content!
Swim’st thou in wealth, yet sink’st in thine own tears?
O Punishment!
Then he that patiently Want’s burden bears
No burden bears, but is a king, a king.
O sweet Content, O sweet, O sweet Content!
Work apace, apace, apace, apace,
Honest labour bears a lovely face.
—Thomas Dekker, 1600.
A valley, two thousand feet above the sea level,
narrowing at its upper or northern end to a ravine
piercing thickly wooded hills, but widening gradually
southward, until, a mile lower down the mountain
stream which issues from the gorge, it becomes a broad
sunny meadow land.
On a day in the middle of March, when the sun
shone warm and a turquoise sky arched smiling over
this valley, signs of human activity and energy prevailed
on every side. In the bottom lands men were ploughing
the broad level fields; here the river had been dammed,
forming a pond, on the bank of which stood a large
picturesque building sheathed with dark-green shingles.
From the wide and open windows of this building the
sound of whirring spindles and the joyous laughter of
girls and men issued.
Higher up the valley men were at work building a
light bridge of plank across the creek, while others were
carting newly sawed lumber, with its strong pungent
260smell, from the sawmill below. On the eastern side
of the valley, between this bridge and the mills half a
mile south, were scattered or grouped at irregular intervals,
forty or fifty small cabins, some of log, others of
unplaned boards; thatched, or covered in red tile. Men
and women were at work in the damp mould of the
gardens by which these cabins were surrounded, and
fresh green things were shooting up. On the opposite
side of the stream, on a wooded knoll, stood a large,
low, barrack-like building with a red roof, and near it
a few cabins. It was opposite this group of buildings
that the foot-bridge was in process of making, to supersede
a single plank and rail which had hitherto connected
the banks of the stream. Down the valley from
this small and separate settlement stretched fields already
under cultivation, for corn, potatoes, and cotton.
There were no streets in this rustic settlement. Footpaths
led to the cottage doors through the thin, coarse
grass, and along the eastern side of the little river; and
between its bank and the houses ran a rough wagon
road, deeply rutted now by the wheels of the lumber
wagons in the soft, red soil. To the north and east the
hills rose abruptly, covered with oak and pine, and the
aromatic fragrance of the latter was in the air, mingling
with the scent of the soil. Beyond the lower hills to
the west loomed the shoulders of dim, blue mountains,
while looking south, down the shining river, beyond a
belt of woodland, the valley broadened out to the sunny
plain stretching to the horizon line.
The limpid clearness of the air, the fragrance of the
forest and the earth, the musical flow of the little river,
the wonderful brilliancy of the sky, with the vast uplift
of the mountains, gave a sense of wild perfection to the
261ensemble. Such was Fraternia in the morning of its
second spring.
It was during that decade which saw the sudden
springing into life of so large a number of communistic
organizations and settlements throughout the country,
mainly in the south and west. Many of these experiments
were crude and obscure; most of them were
shortlived. They were founded on widely different
social conceptions, ranging from those of unlimited
license and rank anarchism up to the high ideals of the
life of Christian brotherhood set forth in the early
church.
The latter was the foundation of John Gregory’s
colony in Fraternia. Inflexible morality and blamelessness
of Christian living were his cardinal laws. Built
upon them was the superstructure of economic and
social equality, of labour sharing, and of domestic simplicity.
Thus far unusual promise attended the adventure,
and peace and good will reigned in the little community.
Toward the upper end of the village half a dozen
men were at work around a circular excavation not
more than five or six feet in diameter, which had been
lined with irregular slabs and blocks of stone patched
together with clay. In blue overalls thickly bespattered
with red mud and the sticky clay, a man was working
on his knees at the edge of this basin. It was Keith
Burgess. Near him, measuring with rule and line and
marking out the width of the coping, stood the artist,
Pierce Everett. Their fellow-workmen were two Irishmen—big, active fellows, with honest eyes—and a wiry
little black-a-vised Jew, a quondam foreman in a New
York sweat-shop. He was mixing clay and laying the
262stone of the coping, while the Irishmen were at work
in an open trench through which ran the pipe which
was to conduct the water from a spring in the ravine
above into the new reservoir.
Emerging from the woods below the dam a little
crowd of children came straying up the valley, laughing
and shouting, and jumping gayly over the pools of red
mud in the road. Their hands were full of wild flowers,—bloodroot,
and anemones, and arbutus; their hair
was blown about in the wind; their eyes were shining.
Among them, giving her hand to a little girl who
walked with a crutch, walked Anna Burgess, her face
as joyous as theirs, and a free, unhampered vigour and
grace in every line of her figure. She was the head
teacher in the village school, and was known to her
scholars, and, indeed, quite generally in the little community,
as “Sister Benigna.”
This name, “Benigna,” which had come down in
Anna’s family for generations, and had been given her
as a second name, had not been used for many years,
save by her mother, who still clung loyally to the full
“Anna Benigna.” Who it was in Fraternia who had
revived the beautiful old Moravian name was not
known, but the use of it had been quickly established,
especially among the children and the foreign folk.
The habit of using “Brother” and “Sister” with the
given name in ordinary social intercourse was common,
although not universal, in Fraternia. Anna’s assistants
in the school—a pale, little English governess, who had
apparently never known stronger food than tea and
bread until she came to Fraternia, and a rosy-cheeked
German kindergartner—were among the little flock, their
hands overflowing with wild flowers, and their faces
263with the high delight the spring day brought them. It
was Saturday morning, and a holiday.
Suddenly there was a shout from some boys who
were foremost in the company, and they came scampering
back to Anna exclaiming that the “fountain” was
almost finished, and, perhaps, the water would soon be
turned into it. By common consent the whole party
hastened on and soon encircled the workmen at the
basin with noisy questions and merry chatter. It was
to be so fine not to have to go up to the spring in the
ravine with pails and pitchers any more. Could they
surely have the water here for Sunday? Then Fräulein
Frieda told them how the girls in her country came to
such fountains with their jugs, and carried them away
full on their heads. She showed them with a tin pail,
found lying in the clay, just how it was done, walking
away with firm, balanced step, the pail unsupported on
her pretty flaxen-haired head, on which the sun shone
dazzlingly. The little girls were greatly delighted, and
all declared they should learn to carry their water pots
home on their heads from the Quelle, as Fräulein Frieda
called it.
Anna stood at the edge of the basin, Keith at her
feet, on his knees, with the trowel in his hands,
smiling up at her, the little lame girl still at her side,
a trace of wistfulness in her eyes as she watched the
others.
“We will not carry our water pails on our heads, you
and I, will we, little Judith?” Anna asked, kind and
motherly. “We want our brains to grow, and it might
crowd them down; don’t you think so?”
The swarthy Jew looked up from the clay he was
mixing with quick, instinctive gratitude. Judith was
264his child. He grinned a broad and rather hideous grin,
and exclaimed in a broken dialect:—
“Das ist so, Kleine; shust listen to our lady! She
knows. She says it right.”
Pierce Everett’s dark eyes flashed with sudden enthusiasm.
Turning to Anna he bowed profoundly and said
low to Keith, as well as to her:—
“There you have it! Barnabas has found your title—‘our
lady’!”
Anna looked into Everett’s dark eager eyes with her
quiet smile, and was about to speak, when a sudden
noise of grating and rattling and horses’ hoofs behind
them caused them all three to turn and look down the
river. A horse and stone drag were approaching rapidly,
driven by John Gregory, who stood on the drag, which
was loaded with big clean pebbles from the river-bed.
He wore a coarse grey flannel shirt, the collar turned
off a little at the throat, and rough grey trousers
tucked into high rubber boots, which reached to the
thighs. The cloth cap on his head with its vizor bore
a certain resemblance to a helmet, and altogether the
likeness of the whole appearance to that of a Roman
warrior in his chariot did not escape the three friends
who watched its approach in the motley crowd around
the basin.
Gregory drove his drag close up to the edge of the
coping, now nearly laid, greeted the company with a
courteous removal of his hat and a cordial Good-morning,
then discharged the load of pebbles in a glinting
heap on the soft red earth.
There was no conscious assumption of mastery or
direction in Gregory’s manner, nothing could have been
simpler or more democratic than the impartial comradery
265with which he joined the others, nevertheless the sense
that the master was among them was instantly communicated
throughout the little group. Up in the trench,
nearly to the base of the cliffs which marked the entrance
to the ravine, one Irishman said to the other, in
a tone of satisfaction not unmixed with good-natured
sarcasm:—
“Himsilf’s come now. The gintlemin masons will git
to rights or they’ll lose their job, d’ye mind, Patrick?”
“Oh, ay,” said the other, “an’ the same to yersilf, if
ye ivir noticed it.”
There was a little silence even among the chattering
children as Gregory stooped by Everett’s side, pulled up
with the ease of mighty muscle two or three stones,
took the trowel from Keith’s hand and a hod of mortar
from the waiting Barnabas, and set the stones over on a
truer line, laughing the while with the men and turning
aside the edge of criticism with frank self-disparagement,
as being himself but a tyro.
A curious consequence of Gregory’s appearance on
the scene after this sort, was the dwarfed effect of the
men around him, who suddenly seemed to have shrunk
in stature and proportions, and whose motions, beside
the virile force and confident freedom of his, appeared
incompetent and weak.
Anna had drawn back from her place near the basin’s
edge. Gregory had not looked at her nor she at him
directly. In fact, they habitually, for some reason they
themselves could not define, avoided each other, and yet
could not avoid a piercing consciousness, when together,
of every look and word of the other. A sudden shyness
and subduing had fallen instantly upon Anna’s bright
mood, and, while the others watched every look and
266motion of Gregory with almost breathless interest, she
stood apart and arranged little Judith’s flowers with apparent
preoccupation.
Tossing the trowel back to Keith, with whom he
exchanged a few words of question, Gregory next hastened
with long strides up the line of the trench to the
place where the Irishmen were at work. Here was a
primitive moss-grown trough, into which the water of
the spring had hitherto been conducted, and to which
all the people had been obliged to come for their supply
of drinking water. The new iron pipe already replaced
the rude wooden conduit which had done duty until
now, but the water still flowed into the trough, and
would do so until, the basin completed, the connection
might be made between the two sections of pipe.
Under Gregory’s direction this was now effected, and
the water of the spring, if there was no flaw, should
now flow unimpeded into the basin below. To test the
basin, it was Gregory’s purpose to make the experiment
at once.
Presently there was a shout, exulting and joyous, from
the company below.
“The water is here! The water! The water!”
rose the cry into the stillness of the valley. The men
at work upon the bridge left their work, and hastened
to join the little crowd.
With strides even longer than before, Gregory came
down again, the Irishmen following him in a scramble
to keep up. Joy was in all their faces, and the
deepest joy of all in that of Gregory. They stood
together and watched the jet of water as it sprang from
the mouth of the pipe, turbid at first, but gradually
becoming clear and sparkling, and fell with a gentle,
267musical plashing into the stone fountain. There was
complete silence for a little space, as they looked
intently at the increasing depth of the gathering pool,
and then, bringing down his hands with a will on the
shoulders of Keith and Everett, Gregory exclaimed:—
“Men, you have done well, all of you! It holds, do
you see? It is tight as a ship. Hurrah!”
They all joined in a great cheer, and then, swiftly
finding where she stood, or knowing, as he always
seemed to know, instinctively, Gregory’s eyes sought
Anna Burgess.
“Will Sister Benigna come up here?” he asked
quietly, with the unhesitating steadiness of the man who
knows just what he means to do.
Anna came slowly forward, and stood on the new-laid
coping, by the side of Gregory, greatly wondering.
Just beyond her was Keith, side by side with Barnabas
Rosenblatt. Meanwhile, Gregory had taken from his
pocket a small folding drinking cup of shining metal,
which he had held in the flow of the spring water until
it was thoroughly purified. Turning now to look at all
those who stood round about, he said:—
“Brothers, sisters, little children, this water is the
good gift of God. Let this fountain be now consecrated
to all pure and holy uses. By the wish which I
believe to be in every one of you, let the first who shall
drink of this living water from the new fountain be our
Sister Benigna.”
With these words Gregory filled the cup from the
sparkling outgush of the spring, the water so cold that
the polished cup was covered with frosty dimness, and
with simple seriousness handed it to Anna. Affection and
reverence were in the eyes of all the people as they
268watched her while with uncovered head, calm brow,
and the fine simplicity of unconsciousness she took the
cup and drank. But with the first touch of her lips to
the cup the hand in which she held it trembled; and
when she drained the last drop, it trembled still. As
Anna stepped back, having drunk, into the ranks, Gregory
lifted his hand, and with the gesture which commands
devotion repeated the ancient words,—
“‘O most high, almighty, good Lord God, to thee
belong praise, glory, honour, and all blessing!
“‘Praised be my Lord for our brother the wind, and
for air and cloud, calms and all weather, by the which
thou upholdest in life all creatures.
“‘Praised be my Lord for our sister, water, who is
very serviceable unto us, and humble, and precious, and
clear.’”
Then with a deeper solemnity and significance in
face and voice, he continued:—
“‘If thou knewest the gift of God and who it is
that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have
asked of him and he would have given thee living water.’
“‘Jesus said, If any man thirst, let him come to me
and drink.’”
It was noon, and turning they all dispersed, each to
his own place, a deepened gladness in their faces. But
as for Anna Burgess, a dimness was upon her joy, a
thrilling undercurrent of dread and wonder which she
could not understand; for she had drunk of the Cup
of Trembling—and knew it not.
269
We’ve toiled and failed; we spake the word;
None hearkened; dumb we lie;
Our Hope is dead, the seed we spread
Fell o’er the earth to die.
What’s this? For joy our hearts stand still,
And life is loved and dear,
The lost and found the cause hath crowned,
The Day of Days is here.
—William Morris.
The Burgesses had come to Fraternia in the preceding
December, although Keith had soon left again,
having still many business concerns to recall him to
Fulham. The house there was now closed, and the
life there for them presumably ended, and, late in February,
Keith had returned to Fraternia.
Anna had employed the months between their decision
to join the coöperative colony and their actual
journey to the South, in taking a short course in nursing
in a Fulham hospital, reviving her old knowledge of the
subject, gained in her girlhood in Burlington. She had
it in mind to fit herself thus as thoroughly as the brief
interval allowed, for the duties of a trained nurse to the
little community, this being an occupation at once congenial
to herself and important for the general good.
For uniformity of service was by no means according
to John Gregory’s plan, and Gertrude Ingraham might
not have found herself shut up to the cotton mill even
if she had done so incredible a thing as to throw in her
270fortunes with Fraternia. All must labour, and all must
labour for the general good,—one of Gregory’s prime
maxims being, If a man will not work, neither shall
he eat; but as far as practicable that labour was to be
on the line of each person’s best capacity, choice, and
development. Thus Keith Burgess’s feat of stonelaying
had not been enforced, but self-chosen, as an expression
of his good will in the sharing the coarser labours of
the people. The work to which he had been assigned
by Gregory was clerical, not manual, being that of
secretary to the colony.
Anna, thus far, had had no opportunity for any especial
use of her vocation as nurse, the families of Fraternia
being remarkably healthy under the simple and wholesome
conditions of their life, and serious illness unknown
during that winter. Her trained and well-equipped
mind obviously fitted her for a work of intellectual rather
than industrial character, and the duties of teaching
the children of the colony five hours a day—the required
time of service for the women—were given to her by
common consent.
Neither at the time when she was chosen to this
service, nor at any other, had John Gregory directly
communicated his wishes to Anna or discussed his plans
with her; and yet, from the day of her arrival in Fraternia
he had perhaps never formed a plan which was not
in some subtle manner shaped by unconscious reference
to her. In her own way, Anna’s personality was hardly
less conspicuous than his; and these two invisibly and
involuntarily modified each the other’s action and deliberation
as the orbits of two stars are influenced by
their mutual attraction and repulsion.
By the whole habit and choice of his life John Gregory
271was a purist in morals and in his personal practice
of simplicity. The most frugal fare and the simplest
domestic appliances served his turn by preference, although
he had been born and bred in comparative luxury.
He was free and fraternal with men; gently
respectful to women, whom he yet never treated as if
they were superior to men by force of their weakness,
but rather as being on a basis of accepted equality;
while to little children he always showed winning tenderness.
Socially, however, he scrupulously avoided
intercourse with women, with a curious, undeviating
persistency which almost suggested ascetic withdrawal.
The other men of the colony, several of whom were
men of some social rank and mental culture, found it
pleasant to stop on the woodland paths or by the stream,
all the more in these soft spring days, and exchange
thought and word, light or grave, with the girls and
women, but never once had Gregory been seen to do
this, or to visit the households presided over by women
on any errand whatever. Whether a line of action
which thus inevitably separated him more and more
from the domestic life of the people, was pursued by
deliberate purpose or by the accident of personal inclination
was not clear, but certain it was that the fact
contributed to the distinction and separation which
seemed inevitably to belong to Gregory. With all
his simplicity of life and democratic brotherliness of
conversation, he lived and moved in Fraternia with
an effect of one on a wholly different plane from the
others, and with the full practical exercise of a dictatorship
which no one resented because all regarded him
with a species of hero-worship as manifestly the master
of the situation.
272His residence was in one of the small cabins on the
western side of the river, to which the bridge gave convenient
access. The other cabins served, one as a
rude, temporary library, the other as storehouse, while
the large barrack-like building furnished bachelor quarters
for the unmarried men. Gregory, since Everett’s arrival,
had shared his house with the artist. Their meals
were taken in common with the other men. No one
was in the habit of entering the house, Gregory having
a kind of office, agreeably furnished, at the cotton mill,
where he was usually to be found when not at work in
field or wood. This was, however, often the case, for
he never failed to discharge the daily quota of manual
labour which he had assigned himself; and it was noticeable
to all that if any task were of an offensive or difficult
nature, he was the one to assume it first and as a matter
of course. It was owing to this characteristic, perhaps
more than to any other, save his singular personal
ascendency, that the silent dictatorship of Gregory in
the little community was so cheerfully accepted. Nominally
the government of the village was in the hands
of a board of directors, with an inner executive committee,
and of which Gregory was chairman. Several
women served on the larger board. Keith Burgess was
a director; Anna’s name had not been proposed for the
office. There had been but one vacancy in the board
on their arrival, which was sufficient reason. The
councils of the directors were held weekly in Gregory’s
office, and thus far a good degree of harmony prevailed.
Again it was Saturday morning. A week had passed
which had brought many days of heavy rain. The
river, swollen and yellow, dashed noisily down from the
gorge and filled its channel below with deep and urgent
273current. On its turbid flood appeared from time to
time newly felled logs, floated down from the regions
above, where Fraternia men were at work, taking advantage
of the swollen river for conveying their lumber to
the sawmill. A west wind, the night before, had
blown the clouds before it, and this morning the sun
shone from an effulgent sky; the wind had died to a
soft breeze laden with manifold fragrance; and in place
of the chill of the north, the air possessed the indescribable
softness and balm of the southern spring.
It was again a busy morning in Fraternia, and everywhere,
and in all the homely tasks, thrilled the unchecked
joy in simple existence of innocent hearts living out their
normal bent for mutual help and burden-sharing. In
the garden ground around their house, which was high
up the valley in a group of three others, one of which
contained the common kitchen and dining room for the
inmates of all, Anna Burgess was at work in her garden,
sowing and planting in the damp soil. Glancing down
the valley, she could see Everett hard at work with another
man, who had been an architect in Burlington,
erecting a little thatched pavilion, of original design,
graceful and rustic, to protect the new and precious
fountain from the sun, and keep its water clean and serviceable.
Across the river, in the library, Keith, she
knew, was at work at his bookkeeping, and also at the
task of collecting excerpts from the writings of social
economists for use in an address which he was preparing.
A new mental activity had been stimulated in
Keith by the change of climate and conditions, and the
influx of new ideas; and the ease and cheerfulness with
which he had adapted himself to the primitive habits of
pioneer life, would have amazed his friend Ward.
274Barnabas had been gathering one or two sizable
slabs of stone which had been left from the lining and
coping of the fountain, and Anna watched him a moment
as, having loaded them into a wheelbarrow, he
proceeded to carry them down to the new bridge, and
so across to the west side of the river. She hardly
cared to wonder what he was about to do, being otherwise
absorbed, and her eyes did not follow him as he
wheeled his burden on up the knoll on which were the
library and the house of Gregory, set in their bit of pine
wood.
The door of Gregory’s cabin stood open, as was customary
in Fraternia in mild weather. Barnabas dropped
the burden from his barrow just before the open door,
stood to wipe the sweat from his forehead, and then,
kneeling, began the self-imposed effort of placing the
stones together for a low step, which was yet lacking to
the rudely finished house. As he worked, he now and
then lifted his eyes and glanced into the interior of the
house which he had never entered. It had the walls
and ceiling of unplaned, uncovered boards of all the
Fraternia houses; the floor was absolutely bare and
absolutely clean, damp in spots and redolent of soap
from recent scrubbing. The open windows let in the
sun-warmed, piney air, but the light was obscured, the
trees growing close to the house, and a dim gold-green
twilight reigned in the silent room. A door stood open
into the second room where two narrow iron beds came
within the field of vision. There was the ordinary
chimney, built of brick, of ample proportions, with a
pine shelf running across, and in the fireplace logs of fat
pine laid for a blaze in the evening, which was still sure
to be cool. Plain wooden arm-chairs stood near the
275hearth; an uncovered table of home manufacture,
clumsy and heavy, in the middle of the room, was
thickly strewn with books and papers and writing materials.
It was the typical Fraternia interior,—bare, and
yet not comfortless, and with its own effect of simple
distinction, conveyed by absolute cleanness, order, and
the absence of the superfluous.
But it was none of these details which caught the eye
of Barnabas. Above the chimney there was fastened
by hidden screws close against the wall, so that it had
the effect of a panel, a picture, unframed, showing the
figure of a slender girl with uplifted head and solemn
eyes, set against an Oriental background. It was
Everett’s study of the Girlhood of the Virgin, and
besides it there was no picture nor decoration of any
sort in the place.
Each time he lifted his eyes from the stones before
him to the picture whose high lights gleamed strangely
through the dimness of the room within, Barnabas was
more impressed with some elusive resemblance in the
face; and at last, striking the stone with his hand, he
murmured to himself in his native tongue, “Now I
have it! The damsel there is like our lady when she
prays.”
Meanwhile the river ran between and thundered over
the dam below; the red roofs gleamed warm in the sun,
and Anna, down on her knees like Barnabas, on a bit
of board, was tending her bulbs with loving hands,
while within her was springing a very rapture of poetic
joy. Almost for the first time in her life she was conscious
of unalloyed happiness. Was it because the sky
was blue? or because the vital flood of spring beat and
surged about her in the river, in the forest, in the air?
276Not wholly; nor even because under these kindly influences
all the dormant poetic and creative instincts of her
nature were stirring into luxuriant blossoming, although
all these things filled her with throbbing delight. The
deeper root of her joy was in the satisfaction, so long
delayed, of her passion for brotherhood with lowly men
and poor; the release from the constraint of artificial
conventions, and from the painful sense, which she could
never escape in the years of her Fulham life, that she
owed to every weary toiler who passed her on the street
an apology for her own leisure, her luxury and ease.
Suddenly Anna rose, and stood facing the west, her
eyes full of light. A voice within her had called and
said:—
“I can write poetry now, and I will!” The fulness
of energy of joy and fulfilment in her spirit sought expression
as naturally as the mountain spring sought its
outlet in the fountain below.
Just then her neighbour, in the house on the left,—it
was the dining-house,—put her head out of the window
and said, reflectively:—
“Say, Sister Benigna, I wish I knew how to get the
dinner up into the woods to the men-folks. It’s half-past
eleven and time it went this minute, and Charley
has gone down to Spalding after the mail; but I suppose
it’s late or something. Anyway he ain’t here, and
I’ve got the rest to wait on.”
“Why, I could take the dinner pails up to them,
Sister Amanda,” answered Anna, obligingly. The
“men-folks” alluded to were of her own group of families
and were felling lumber in the woods north of the
valley.
“You couldn’t do it alone, but Fräulein Frieda,
277she’d be tickled to death to go with you. There she
is now,” and Sister Amanda flew to the cabin door
through which a neatly ordered dinner table could be
seen, and shouted down the slope to the young German
teacher who had just come over the bridge with some
books on her arm from the library.
A few moments later Anna sallied out from the house
with Frieda, both carrying well-stored dinner pails.
“No matter,” said Anna, smiling at the sudden diversion
from her poetic inspiration; “it is better to live
brotherhood than to sing brotherhood. But some day,
maybe, yet, I shall sing.”
278
Heaven’s gift takes earth’s abatement!
He who smites the rock and spreads the water,
Bidding drink and live a crowd beneath him,
Even he, the minute makes immortal,
Proves, perchance, but mortal in the minute,
Desecrates, belike, the deed in doing.
—Robert Browning.
Relays of men had been at work in the woods clothing
the steep banks of the ravine above Fraternia for
three days, even while the rain was falling in torrents.
It was absolutely necessary to secure the lumber while
the river was of a depth to carry it down stream, and for
a time all other work was in abeyance.
Gregory had worked steadily with the rest at the
wood cutting, but Keith had told Anna the night before
that on Saturday morning he would be obliged to
go down to Spalding, the small town in the plain below
the valley, on urgent business concerning notes which
were coming due and must be extended if possible.
It was therefore with great surprise that Anna, as
they approached the spot where the men were at work,
heard Frieda exclaim:—
“There is the master himself; see, Sister Benigna!”
They had had a merry scramble up the gorge, but a
hard one. The swollen stream had submerged the narrow
path by which the ascent was commonly made,
and it was only by finding the footholds cut out by the
men with their axes in the earth of the dripping, slippery
bank above, that Anna and her companion had been
279able to make their way on. Holding their pails with
one hand and clinging to overhanging branches or roots
of ferns and laurel with the other, shaking the splashes
of rain from the dripping leaves as they struck their
faces, the two had scrambled breathlessly forward; and
now, at length, the welcome sound of the axe greeted
their ears, and they saw a little beyond, strewing the
underbrush, the new chips and shining splinters of
stripped bark which told that trees had recently been
felled.
Anna had just stopped to exclaim:—
“How good it smells, Frieda,—such a wild, pure
smell!” and was laughing at her own choice of adjectives,
when Frieda had called her attention to John
Gregory. He was standing at no great distance from
them in the midst of the rapid, roaring creek where the
water reached nearly to the tops of his high boots, and,
with a strong pole in both hands, was directing the
course of the logs, which were eddying wildly about him
on the surface of the torrent, into the proper channel
which should carry them down stream.
Frieda’s voice attracted his attention to their approach,
and without pause he strode through the water, leaped
up the bank and was promptly in the path, if it could be
called such, before them, holding out both hands to
relieve them of their burdens, and smiling a cordial
greeting.
Anna’s cheeks wore a vivid flush.
“Then you did not go to Spalding?” she asked,
seeking to quiet the confusion of her surprise and
the immoderate beating of her heart. Frieda, she
saw gratefully, was quite as excited; it was so unusual
for Mr. Gregory to bestow attentions of this sort upon
280them; it was not strange that one should be a little
stirred.
“No,” he said, leading on in the now broadening
path, “I found I could send a letter by Charley, and
the men rather needed a long-legged fellow like myself
up here this morning. But I see that my doing this has
reacted unexpectedly upon you. Charley not being on
hand to bring the dinner, our ladies have had to take
his place,” and Gregory turned toward them as he
spoke with regret and apology which were evidently
sincere.
“Are you very tired?” he asked simply, looking at
Frieda but speaking to Anna.
They both declared that it had been great fun and
they were not in the least tired; and indeed the bright
bloom of their cheeks, and the laughter in their eyes,
and the elastic firmness of their steps were sufficient
reassurance.
“I think, Mr. Gregory,” said Anna, quite at her ease
now, “that Fraternia women can never know anything
of that disease of civilization, nervous prostration. It
will become extinct in one spot at least.”
“‘More honoured in the breach than the observance,’”
quoted Gregory, “we shall hail its loss.”
Soon they reached a little clearing, where, the underbrush
trampled down, the rugged steepness of the bank
declining to a gentler slope, and the sun having found
full entrance by reason of the removal of the larger trees,
there was a possibility of finding a dry place to rest.
Here they were soon joined by half a dozen men, several
of whom had brought their dinner with them, and preparations
were made for a fire to heat the coffee which
filled one of the pails brought by Anna and Frieda. The
281other was solidly packed with sweet, wholesome brown
bread and butter and thick slices of meat.
The fat pine chips and splinters burned readily in
spite of the all-pervading dampness, and the coffee-pail,
suspended over this small camp-fire from a hastily improvised
tripod, was soon sending up a deliciously fragrant
steam.
The men treated the two women as if they had been
foreign princesses, covering a great tree-trunk with
their coats for a kind of throne for them, and serving
them with coffee in tin cups with much flourish of mock
ceremony. This part of the proceedings John Gregory
watched from a little distance, leaning against a tree,
a smile of quiet pleasure in his eyes. He refused the
coffee for himself, drinking always and only water, but
ate the bread and meat they handed him with hearty
relish and a vast appetite.
By a sort of inevitable gravitation, almost before the
meal was concluded, Frieda had strayed off into the
woods with Matt Taylor, son of Anna’s neighbour,
whose devotion to her was one of the especial interests
for Fraternia folk that spring. A certain view from the
crest of the hill beyond the little clearing was by no
means to be missed. Then, one after the other, the men
took up their axes and returned to their work; but John
Gregory kept his place, and still stood leaning against the
tree, facing Anna, the smouldering embers of the fire
between.
He had been speaking on a subject in which all had
been interested,—the prayer test advocated by Mr.
Tyndall, which had attracted the attention of the
scientific and religious world of that time. The men
had gone away reluctantly, leaving the conversation to
282these two. Heretofore Anna had hardly spoken, but
now with deepening seriousness she said:—
“I feel the crude, incredible impertinence of such a
test as this which Mr. Tyndall has proposed, and yet
it brings up very keenly to me my own attitude for
many years.”
Gregory looked a question, but did not speak, and
Anna went on:—
“A good woman whom I once heard speak at Mrs.
Ingraham’s in Burlington gave me an idea of prayer,
quite new to me then, but which I at least partially
accepted, and which has had its effect on my inner life
ever since.”
“It was—?”
“That we were to pray to God for every small
material interest of life, and were to expect definite,
concrete, physical return. That if such was not our
experience it was because we were not dwelling near
God, and were out of harmony with him. This life of
answered prayer and perfect demonstrable union which
she described was called the ‘higher life.’”
“What was your own experience?”
“It has been a long experience of spiritual defeat.
I prayed for years for every temporal need, asked for
whatever I deeply desired, and—never—perhaps there
was one exception, but hardly more—received an
answer to my praying which I could fairly assume to be
such.”
Anna’s face was profoundly sad, as she spoke, with
the sense of the baffling disappointments of years.
“In the end what has been the effect on you?”
“I have ceased to pray at all, Mr. Gregory. I know
that sounds very harsh, perhaps very wrong, but I lost
283the expectation of a response, and the constant defeat
and failure made me bitter and unbelieving. God seemed
only to mock my prayers, not to fulfil. It seemed to
me at last that I was dishonouring him by praying, and
that waiting in silence and patience was shown to be my
portion. Do you think that was sinful?”
Anna raised her eyes timidly to Gregory’s face with
this question, and met the repose and steady confidence
of it with a swift presentiment of comfort.
“No,” he answered; “I think you were simply struggling
to release yourself from the meshes of the net
which a mercenary conception of prayer cannot fail to
throw over the soul. It was said of John Woolman,
and a holier man never lived, that he offered no prayers
for special personal favours. I believe the theory of
prayer of your Burlington friend not only mistaken,
but dangerous and misleading. Instead of such a habit
of mind as she described being a ‘higher life,’ I should
call it a lower one. The nearer the man comes to God,
the less he prays, not the more, for definite objective
things and externals; the more he rests on the great
good will of God. Prayer was not designed for man to
use to conform a reluctant God to his will, to get things
given him, but to conform the man’s own blind and
erring will to the divine. By this I do not mean to
say that no prayers for temporal objects are granted.
Many have been, but the soul that feeds itself on this
conception of prayer as a system of practical demand
and supply lives on husks.”
“But there are many promises?” Anna said with
hesitation.
“Yes,” said Gregory, with the emphasis of sure conviction,
crossing the space between them to stand
284directly before her, forgetting all his usual scruples;
“but you must interpret Scripture by Scripture, by the
whole tendency and purpose, not by isolated mottoes
which men like to drag out for spiritual decoration,
breaking off short all their roots which reach down into
the solid rock of universal Truth! Look at our Lord
himself—did he ask for ‘ease and rest and joys’?
It is only as we enter into his spirit that our prayers are
answered, and that almost means that we shall cease to
pray at all for personal benefits. He prayed, often,
whole nights together, but was it that he might win his
own cause with the people about him? Was it not
rather for the multitudes upon whom he had compassion,
and that God the Father should be made manifest in
himself? Ah, Sister Benigna, few of us have sounded
the depths of this great subject of prayer. It is one of
the deepest things of God; and, believe me, it is not
until we have cast out utterly the last shred of the notion
of childish coaxing of God to do what will please us,
that we can catch some small perception of its meaning.
But let me say just one thing more: you are too young
to count any prayer unanswered. At present you see
in part and interpret God’s dealings only in part. At
the end of life your interpretation will be larger, calmer
than it is now. We ‘change the cruel prayers we made,’
and even here live to praise God that they are broken
away ‘in his broad, loving will.’”
Anna sat in silence, her eyes downcast, slowly passing
in review the nature of her own most ardent prayers and
the deep anguish and doubt of their non-fulfilment.
Not one, she saw, could bear the high test of likeness to
the mind of Christ, not one but had its admixture of
selfishness, not one but seemed poor and vain in this
285new light. A nobler conception of the relation of her
soul to God seemed to dawn within her. She looked up
then, and saw upon Gregory’s face that inner illumination
which belongs to the religious genius. The look
of it smote her eyes as if with white and dazzling
light, and they fell as if it were impossible to bear it.
Then she rose, and they stood for a moment alone and
in silence, while a sense of measureless content overflowed
Anna’s spirit, and for an instant made time and
space and human relations as if they were not. So strong
upon her was the sense of uplift from the contact with
the spirit of Gregory. She hardly knew at first that the
incredible had happened. John Gregory had taken her
hand in his, with reverent gentleness, for some seconds.
He was asking her if he had been able to help her in
any wise, and asking it as if he cared very much. She
said “yes,” quite simply, and turned to go. Frieda
was coming back, and they were lingering over long.
Slowly they descended the rugged path before them, for
a strange trepidation had come over Anna,—a vague,
new, disturbing joy.
286
What went ye out into the wilderness for to see?... A man clothed in
soft raiment? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live delicately,
are in kings’ courts.—St. Luke’s Gospel.
Instead of the masterly good humour, and sense of power, and fertility of resource
in himself; instead of those strong and learned hands, those piercing and
learned eyes, that supple body, and that mighty and prevailing heart, which the
father had, whom nature loved and feared, whom snow and rain, water and land,
beast and fish, seemed all to know and to serve, we have now a puny, protected
person, guarded by walls and curtains, stoves and down-beds, coaches, and menservants
and women-servants from the earth and the sky.—R. W. Emerson.
The spring passed in Fraternia, and the summer.
Not again did John Gregory and Anna come into direct
personal communication. They went indeed their several
ways with a steadier avoidance of this than before,
from an undefined, but instinctive, sense of danger.
Nevertheless, the fact that they breathed the same air
and shared the same lot in life sufficed to yield in the
heart of each an unfailing spring of contentment; while
now and again it would happen that Anna, in her schoolroom
or cottage, and Gregory, at his work, lifting their
eyes at a footstep or a shadow, would be aware that the
other had drawn near and passed by, and contentment
would give place to nameless joy.
The poetic impulse which Anna had inherited from
both parents, but the expression of which had been
stifled by the deadening of her high desires which life in
Fulham had brought, now developed unchecked. Many
influences promoted this development: her clear child-delight
in the rich life of nature about her, the release
287of her long-cabined spiritual energy, and the stimulation
of her powers of discernment and interpretation by contact
with the strong intellectual power of Gregory.
Gregory was, in the simple system of life in Fraternia,
at once prophet, priest, and king; and his most potent
influence over the people was manifest in the Sunday
services and in the evening lectures which, for lack of
a church, were held in a large empty room on the upper
floor of the cotton mill. Anna found in these sermons
and lectures the strongest intellectual and spiritual food
upon which she had ever fared, and throve apace, having
good faculty of assimilation. The verses which she
wrote at intervals from a sudden and almost irresistible
impulsion were always, when completed, turned over to
her husband. Proud and pleased at this new gift of
Anna’s, it was Keith’s habit to take them straightway to
Gregory. Anna never knew this. She knew, however,
that her poetry found its way into print, and now and
then, she found, into the hearts of sincere people. This
was new food for unaffected gladness, and she was
glad.
The summer, although its fierce continuous heat had
been hard to bear, was yet the season par excellence for
Fraternia, and peace and plenty reigned in the valley.
But with the autumn came a change, gradual at first, but
later strongly accented. The wholesome occupations of
the spring and summer came, of necessity, to a standstill.
There was now little vent for the energy and
working force of the people, while the scant resources
of the narrow valley offered nothing to counteract a dull
ennui which settled like a palpable cloud upon them. It
had been a bad year for all their crops; the cotton crop
had been a total failure, and the mill was shut down.
288This threw nearly fifty of the little community into enforced
idleness, and a smouldering resentment was bred
by the discovery that there had never been a profit, but
rather a sustained loss, on the output of the mill by reason
of Gregory’s scruple against selling at any advance
beyond the bare cost of production. This principle
might have a fine and lofty sound from the lips of an
orator, speaking on broad, general lines; but the hard
business sense of average men and women rebelled
against the concrete results of its application to their
own isolated case.
“If other people did the same, it might work. For
one manufactory alone to attempt it is simply commercial
suicide,” they said to each other, and with justice.
It became known, moreover, throughout the community,
that a heavy mortgage had been placed on the
land, held by a rich cotton planter in South Carolina,
and that a wide chasm yet intervened between their
present condition and that of self-support. A more
serious disappointment and a more immediate difficulty,
however, lay in the inadequacy of their food products
to the needs of the people, and the consequent demand
for ready money wherewith to buy the necessities of life.
The fare, hitherto of the simplest, was gradually made
coarser and less palatable, since better could not be.
Winter was coming on; open-air life had become impossible;
fierce winds coming down through the gorge
swept the valley, and scattered the foliage of the forest,
while a grey and sullen sky hung over, and every day
brought chilly rains. There was some sickness, of a
mild nature, but it emphasized the discomfort and inconveniences
of the homes. The prospect for the coming
months in Fraternia grew grim. The enthusiasm
289of novelty had tided the little community over the two
preceding winters, but some stronger upholding must
evidently now be interposed; for the people openly murmured,
and began to say to each other sullenly, as once
another company, “Were we brought out into this wilderness
to die? As for this food, our soul loathes it.”
Keenly conscious of the criticism of which he was
now the subject, Gregory withdrew proudly more and
more within himself, and touched less and less familiarly
the life of those about him. It was well known that he
deprived himself of all better fare than coarse bread and
the water from the spring, that he had unhesitatingly
devoted his last dollar to the enterprise so near his heart,
and the patience and courage of the man were unfailing.
But what of that? It was his own enterprise, with
which he must stand or fall. Why should he not risk
everything and bear everything? For the rest it was
different. They, too, had given their money, and
they had left their ceiled houses and their goodly fleshpots
and their pleasant social commerce to further his
project! They at least expected Christian food!
Crossing the bridge from the library, on a raw afternoon
late in November, Anna Burgess met a woman of
her own age, a woman of cheerful, sensible temperament
and habit, the wife of the architect, whom she had
known in Burlington. The husband, George Hanson,
had surrendered with unconditional devotion to Gregory’s
teaching, and the wife, in loyal sympathy, although
herself by no means an idealist, had gathered her little
brood of children and a few household treasures together,
and had come to Fraternia with him.
As she approached the bridge, Mrs. Hanson, holding
up her wet skirts with both hands, cried to Anna:—
290“Oh, how I hate this red mud! Don’t you? It
seems to me I could stand it better if it were not this
horrid colour. One can never get away from it, or lose
sight of it.”
Anna, who thus far, with only a few others, still kept
heart and courage unbroken through this gloomy season,
replied cheerfully that she rather liked the colour.
Mrs. Hanson gave a mournful sigh.
“You like Fraternia anyway, don’t you, Sister Benigna?
You always did?”
Anna smiled at the naïveté of the question, and assented.
“I must like what I have chosen above all other
things.”
“Well, I confess I never did like it, and I never shall.
Oh, it will do very well for a summer vacation if one
could be sure of getting safe home at the end. But as
for a life like this! and when it comes to bringing up
children here!—” and Mrs. Hanson’s voice broke into
a suppressed sob.
“I am sorry,” said Anna, gently.
“Oh, Sister Benigna!” cried the other, letting loose
the floodgates of her tears, while they still stood on the
bridge in the piercing rain, “I never was so homesick
in my life! When I hear my children asking if they
are not going home to see grandma pretty soon, it just
breaks my heart. They have no appetite for this hard
meat and coarse bread, and they look so white and thin,
and plead so for a good old-fashioned turkey dinner!
I have a little money of my own, and I would spend
every cent of it for better food for them, but Mr. Hanson,
he says that would be unjust to the rest who cannot
have such things, and that all must share alike. He
291says it would cost a hundred dollars to give one such
dinner as the children want to the whole village.”
“I suppose that is true,” said Anna, seriously; “and
then it would only be harder to come back—”
“To prison fare,” Mrs. Hanson interjected with
unconcealed bitterness. “Well, all I have to say is
that, if this is coöperation, I’ve had all I want of it. As
for ‘the brotherhood of man,’ I wish I may never hear
of it again as long as I live! I believe we have some
duties to ourselves.”
With this she passed slowly on, and Anna hastened
homeward, a deep pang in her heart.
Entering her own house, she found Keith, pale and
dispirited, leaning with outstretched hands over the fire
in an attitude unpleasantly suggestive of decrepitude and
want. He looked up as Anna came in, and smiled
faintly.
“I think I have taken a fresh cold,” he said hoarsely;
“this climate is lovely half the year, but the other half—”
and he left the sentence unfinished, coughing sharply.
Anna sat down by the hearth and removed her mud-sodden
shoes, afterward hastening to prepare such scanty
remedies for Keith as the cabin afforded. There was a
dispensary down at the mill. She would go down for
medicine as soon as she had made him comfortable.
On the surface of her mind lay the habit of sympathy
and care for her husband’s fragile health, but in the
depth below was a sense she could not have formulated
to herself of resentment at his lack of courage and fortitude.
For Keith, although too finely courteous to share
in the open murmuring of the people, was himself in
the full swing of reaction from the comparative enthusiasm
which he had felt six months ago. The fall weather
292had brought on ague, which, added to his chronic physical
weakness, made him altogether wretched; and while
he punctiliously avoided contributing to the public discontent,
Anna perceived and understood perfectly his
weariness with the enterprise. For the first time in
their married life his patience and sweetness of temper
failed; he had grown irritable, and fretted at small inconveniences
in a way which chafed Anna’s hardier
spirit indescribably.
“I am very sorry, Keith, you are so miserable to-day,”
Anna said now, with half-mechanical commiseration.
It chanced that, as she had come on her way
home from the little conversation with Mrs. Hanson,
a new sympathy had taken possession of her for the
lonely man upon whom fell the full burden of all this
reaction, but who bore it with such unflinching patience,
albeit so silently. Almost inevitably, her mind being
thus absorbed, the sympathy with Keith in his familiar
ailments and complaints was rendered perfunctory for the
time, and by comparison his weakness wore to her some
complexion of unmanliness.
Perhaps Keith discerned a shade of coldness in her
tone, and was stirred by it.
“I am sure I do not know,” he said with significant
emphasis, “how long I can stand this condition of
things. You must see, Anna, that I am losing ground
from day to day. Look at my hands!” and he held
out his left hand to her, clammy and cold, for all the
yellow blaze, wasted and thin even to emaciation.
Anna took the hand in hers, and caressed it with
womanly gentleness, murmuring that it was too bad,
and something must be done; he certainly was not properly
nourished.
293“Why, Anna,” the poor fellow cried, warmed by her
compassion, “I would give all my ‘incomes from dreamland,’
all the fine-spun theories of economic religion and
social salvation that Gregory or any other idealist ever
dreamed of, to be for just one day in our own dear old
library, warmed all through, floor warm, walls warm—everything,
you know; to see you, beautifully dressed
again, at your own table, with its silver and damask; to
have the service we always had; and once, just once,
Anna—to have all the hot water I want for a bath!”
Anna smiled, but forebore to speak. The echo of
Mrs. Hanson’s wail was almost too much for her, and
yet she pitied and understood. Pioneers must be made
of sterner stuff, that was all; men who, like Emerson’s
genius, should “learn to eat their meals standing, and to
relish the taste of fair water and black bread.” Were
there such men? She knew one. She almost began to
doubt if there were any more. A few moments later
she brought Keith a tray containing tea and toast, served
with such little elegance as was possible, and with the
daintiness of shining linen and silver.
“We must find a way for you to spend the winter
in a different climate,” she said, as she stood beside him.
She spoke very kindly, but with the inward sense of concession
as of the stronger to the weaker. “You certainly
cannot remain here if this ague continues.”
Keith watched her gratefully, as she prepared to go
out again, sure of some effective help when her strong
determination was enlisted. The last six months had
revealed his wife to him as six years had not done
before. As she was about leaving, he said thoughtfully:—
“Anna, I am not the only one to be anxious about.
294Perhaps you do not know it fully, but the whole scheme
of Fraternia is on the edge of collapse.”
“How do you mean, dear?” she asked, alarmed.
“Through lack of funds. He says very little, but I
can see that Gregory has practically reached the end of
his resources and expectations.”
Anna’s face showed her great concern.
“I did not know it was so bad,” she answered.
“Oh, Keith, would you not be willing to help out a
little more? I know you have been wonderfully generous,
but some one must come up to the point of real
sacrifice and save the day. You could sell the Mill
Street property, you know?” and the timid tone of her
final question contrasted strangely with that in which
she had begun speaking.
It was the expression of Keith’s face which had
dashed Anna’s confidence. She had never seen him
look so much like his mother as when he replied.
“No, my dear, I shall have to stand my ground,” he
said, “and abide by the terms I first proposed. My
mother’s estate is not to be sacrificed for this doubtful
experiment. More than ever before I feel the problematic
nature of Gregory’s scheme. We must provide
for our own future as well as for his present crisis.”
It was hard, Anna felt, as she started out again alone
into the wind and rain, not to reflect that, perhaps, the
sooner the experiment proved a failure the better Keith
would be satisfied. She struggled against a rising sense
of anger which the separation of their interest from
Gregory’s gave her, at the characteristic caution, the
irritating prudence, the old familiar inflexibility, so like
his mother. Keith’s decision chafed her all the more
because something warned her, in her own despite, that
295he was after all justified in it. But the contrast between
his softness of yielding toward his own desires for luxury,
and the hardness of his withholding from the bare
needs of another, came just then into unfortunate juxtaposition.
The attitude of Keith toward Gregory was complex
and peculiar. When in the immediate presence of this
man he was brought under his personal influence to a
degree which even Anna often found surprising. Gregory’s
intensely masculine and forceful nature appeared
to exert an almost irresistible control over the younger
man so long as they were together. As soon, however,
as Keith was removed from that immediate influence,
he reverted at once to an attitude not only critical
toward Gregory, but at times, and as if instinctively,
antagonistic.
Anna went on her way down the valley to the cotton
mill with a sore and heavy heart. On other days
she could rejoice even in a leaden sky, in the muddy,
sullen stream, in the stripped branches of the forest; but
to-night, for twilight was falling now, all seemed clothed
in that oppressive ugliness of Tennyson’s picture:—
“When the rotten woodland drips,
And the leaf is stamped in clay.”
Reaching the mill, dark and silent otherwise, she noted
a light in Gregory’s office and the sound of voices, but
the door was closed. She passed through the corridor
to the small room beyond which was used as a dispensary.
Pushing open the door she found the room empty;
the young man whose charge it was seemed to have
betaken himself otherwhere over early. However,
Anna’s knowledge of drugs was not inconsiderable, and
296in this case she knew precisely what Keith needed
and where to find it. So she proceeded without delay
to place on the small polished counter which stretched
across the narrow room, the necessary ingredients for
a certain powder, and then carefully mixed these in the
proportion called for by her simple prescription. While
she was thus occupied she noticed with a sense of discomfort
that the voices in the office, only divided from
her now by a thin partition, grew louder and took on a
disagreeable quality. Presently the door of the office
was opened, and some one hastened from the building
in evident impatience, leaving the door wide open.
There was complete silence for a moment, and then
Anna heard John Gregory speak. She could not fail
to hear every word, although his voice was not raised,
and its wonted quietness and courtesy were unchanged.
“You will bear me witness, nevertheless, Mr. Hanson,”
he said, “that I never promised an easy life for
those who came with me to Fraternia. I declared
plainly that simplicity and poverty and roughness were
to be accepted as necessary conditions.”
“That is all very well,” a voice replied, which Anna
recognized as that of the Burlington architect, whose
wife had evidently been working upon him; “but
when simplicity means starvation for delicate women
and children, and poverty begins to look like bankruptcy,
the situation strikes me as pretty serious. All
I have to say is,” and the man’s voice rose to a pitch
of high excitement, “you are the dictator here, and
you are responsible; you’ve got us into this scrape, Mr.
Gregory, by working upon our emotions, and all that,
and now you’ve got to get us out of it, somehow!” and
with these words Anna heard the speaker leave the
297office with rapid steps, and a moment after the outer
door of the mill closed upon him.
Anna had dropped the powders which she was dividing
now into their papers, and had started to go to the
door and close it that she might hear no more; but
before she could do this a step in the corridor which
she knew sent her back to her place with a beating
heart, and in another instant John Gregory stood in
the doorway.
Anna had never seen his face changed by any mental
agitation, nor was it now, save for a touch of weariness
and an unwonted pallor. There was a deep, sunk glow
in his eyes, which, together with the careless sweep of
the grey hair flung off his forehead, recalled with peculiar
emphasis the leonine effect Anna had often noticed.
The habitual grave composure of his manner was in no
way disturbed; and although he could not have known
of her presence in the dispensary, it did not seem to
cause him surprise.
“Is some one ill at your house?” he asked with
evident concern but characteristic abruptness. He was
one of those few persons who do not find it necessary
to explain what is self-evident.
“Mr. Burgess is not very well,” Anna replied, hesitating
somewhat, unwilling to strike another dart into
the soreness of his spirit, which she felt distinctly, for
all his outward firmness.
“I fear,” Gregory said thoughtfully, “that Mr. Burgess
ought not to remain in Fraternia this winter. I am
very much afraid that his health will suffer. Both of
you deserve a little change,” he continued, with a slight
smile, the pathos of which Anna felt sharply. “Fraternia
is not so pleasant at this time of year. Why do you
298not go North for a few months? You would come back
to us in the spring—perhaps?”
The apparent carelessness which he wished to convey
to this question contrasted strangely with the piercing
anxiety of the look with which Gregory’s eyes searched
Anna’s face. She understood the instinctive desire to
forestall another attack, to take for granted an impending
blow.
Quietly working at her powders, laughing a little, by
sheer effort of will, since tears were near the surface, she
replied:—
“I could not be spared, Mr. Gregory, this winter. I
see you are a little disposed to undervalue my services.
There are several cases of sickness now, and I am vain
enough to think I am needed. Besides, you know, I
love Fraternia. I do not want to go away from home.”
The minor arts of coquetry were all unknown and
foreign to Anna, but the genius of her woman’s nature
and intuition was thrown into the last sentence with
full effect.
The strong spirit of Gregory, which could meet the
assaults and buffets of reproach and detraction without
shrinking, and which would have rejected express sympathy,
was mastered for a minute by the delicate comprehension
and implied fidelity of Anna’s words.
She knew better than to see the momentary suspicion
of dimness in his eyes, or to note the silence which for
a little space he did not care to break. When at last
he spoke, it was to ask, in a wholly matter-of-fact
manner:—
“Have I not heard that Mr. Burgess was a particularly
successful public speaker?” Anna looked up
quickly then.
299“You may have heard it, for I am sure it is true,”
she said. Another pause for reflection, and then Gregory
said:—
“It is becoming urgently necessary that the purpose
and future of Fraternia should be promoted by some
one capable of going about, particularly in the cities,
and presenting our aims publicly—before audiences of
people.”
Anna had gathered up her powders now and put
them in her pocket and stood ready to go but she
stopped, and her face kindled with swift recognition
and welcome of the thought in Gregory’s mind.
“And you have thought that Mr. Burgess might do
this, and so still serve the cause and yet do it for a
while under easier conditions?” she exclaimed. “Mr.
Gregory, I cannot tell you how glad I should be if this
plan could be carried out. I am really a little anxious
about my husband. I am sure this would work well for
every one, and it might solve several problems at once.”
He smiled, a little sadly, at her confident eagerness,
said they must consider it seriously, and then stood
aside to let her pass out and go home. It was not
necessary for him to say, as he bade her good night, that
he wished it were expedient for him to walk home with
her. She understood his theory of what was wise for
himself in such matters. She approved it. Nevertheless,
she found it hard to leave him alone just then in
the deserted mill. Half-way back she met Everett,
plodding through the mud, with his hands in his pockets,
and whistling, to keep his spirits up, she fancied.
“Be extra good to Mr. Gregory to-night,” she said,
womanlike, unable to resist the longing to help, as he
paused a moment.
300“Why?” he asked, frowning; “have they been at
him again?”
Anna nodded and passed on, afraid to say more.
“Fools!” he murmured between his teeth, and
plunged on against the wind.
But Anna went home with a beatific vision to soothe
her spirit, of Keith comfortable at last in a good hotel,
with menus and waiters, bells and bathrooms, in an
infinite series.
301
“Lo, fool,” he said, “ye talk
Fool’s treason; is the king thy brother fool?”
Then little Dagonet clapt his hands and shrill’d,
“Ay, ay, my brother fool, the king of fools!
Conceits himself as God that he can make
Figs out of thistles, silk from bristles, milk
From burning spurge, honey from hornet combs,
And men from beasts—Long live the King of fools!”
—Tennyson.
But yours the cold heart and the murderous tongue,
The wintry soul that hates to hear a song,
The close-shut fist, the mean and measuring eye,
And all the little poisoned ways of wrong.
—The Rubaiyat.
Everett had improvised a studio in a low loft over
the bachelors’ quarters, contiguous to the cabin which he
and Gregory shared.
It was necessary, he said, for him to get down to
hard work now. That hedging and ditching nonsense
was great sport for a man’s holidays, but he had no
more time to play; he must paint. The work he had
produced in Fulham had not been, often, especially salable
or popular in its character, a certain mystic quality
pervading it not readily understood by casual observers.
All that, he declared, was now to be rigidly excluded
from his painting; he should paint to sell—cheap, pretty
things, picturesque, palpable. With this purpose he
had set to work with a will, and by February had a few
hundred dollars to turn over to the treasury as the fruit
302of his industry. His pictures were sold in the North
through Keith Burgess as intermediary.
He was hard at work in the studio at nine o’clock on
a night in February, laying in the outline for a bit of the
valley which he declared he could paint now with his
eyes shut, he had done it so often, having found it “a
good seller,” when he heard Gregory’s step on the stairs.
That the boy had just brought the mail up from Spalding
Everett knew, having heard the horse galloping over
the bridge, and stopping before the house.
Gregory came in now with several letters in his hand,
one open. He did not speak at first, and Everett let
him walk up and down the place undisturbed, seeing
that he was peculiarly perplexed, probably by the open
letter, which Everett noticed was in Keith Burgess’s
handwriting. After a few moments he remarked slowly,
but with an unusually incisive quality in his tone:—
“Burgess is a singularly prudent little man. Did it
ever strike you so?”
“He has some capacity, however, for the opposite
quality.” Everett threw out this remark with no manifestation
of especial interest, and it seemed to pass unnoticed.
“Having it in his power,” Gregory continued, with
the same incisive deliberation, “to extricate us from our
whole present difficulty himself, with the utmost ease,
he yet jogs about the country after a comfortable fashion,
presenting the subject publicly as occasion offers,
and sends me back such letters as this.”
Lifting the sheet in his hand, Gregory read from it:—
“I held a meeting last night in Grand Rapids, to
which I have been working up carefully for over a week
through the press, etc. The attendance was fair, and
303the people listened well. I regret, however, to be
obliged to report that the practical results of the meeting
were not all that we could have wished—” and
dropping the letter, Gregory added:—
“And so on, copiously, through nearly four pages of
matchless ambiguity and polite phrases, which could all
have been condensed to the usual sum total of his reports;
thus far, nothing!”
“Still, Mr. Gregory, we must remember that he did
pretty well for the first few weeks.”
“Yes,” said Gregory, nodding a short assent, “while
he was covering the field which was ready for harvest—seeing
the men already committed to the cause. We
can evidently expect nothing more from him. What
kind of a speaker is he, Everett?”
“Good, really very good as a special pleader. He
had very fair success when he was missionary secretary.”
“I wonder at it,” murmured Gregory,—“a mild,
prudent little man like that with his perpetual fears and
scruples; I cannot fancy his ever letting himself go.”
Everett, unwontedly sober and silent, worked on.
Gregory paced the room for a little while. He wanted
to ask Everett how Keith’s marriage with a woman like
Anna could ever have come about, but he could not
bring himself to frame the question, and presently left
the studio.
Hanging about the door below, Gregory found Barnabas
Rosenblatt, apparently waiting to speak with him.
“Hello!” said Gregory, not unkindly, but shortly.
“Do you want me?”
“Well, shust a minit, if Herr Gregory vas not too
busy,” and the little Jew shuffled along by Gregory’s
side until they reached the door of the cabin.
304Gregory brought his visitor in and gave him a chair,
then stirred up a smouldering fire and threw on a piece
of pine, which, flaring up into a sudden blaze, made
other light unnecessary. The reflection of the yellow
flames played weirdly over the walls, and Barnabas
seemed unable to withdraw his eyes from the picture
above the chimney.
“Our lady,” he said simply, nodding across at Gregory,
and closing his eyes impressively.
“Well, Barnabas, what is it you want?” asked his host.
“It’s our lady,” said Barnabas, sniffing quite vigorously;
“das is it. How she fall off!” and he shook
his head with a slow, mournful motion.
“Fall off what? I do not understand, Barnabas.
You are speaking of Sister Benigna?” Gregory’s face
changed.
“So—so—” and the little man nodded emphatically.
“She’s got awful poor! Oh, my! Her bones
comes right through zu next. My Kleine, she say our
lady don’t eat notin’s, shust only leetle, leetle milk, an’
work, work, work, like a holy angel everywheres at one
time, up an’ down the valley; sick folks an’ well folks,
all derselbe. Light come all place she come!” and
Barnabas relapsed into meditative silence, having found
his vocabulary hard tested by this prolonged statement.
“Do you mean that Sister Benigna is sick?” asked
Gregory, with slight sharpness.
“Ja, ja, Herr Gregory; she has went home sick
heut’ abend from the sew class down to der mill.
When she go, all go. Fraternia ohne Sister Benigna,”
and the little man drew his shoulders quite up to his
ears in a characteristic shrug strongly expressive of a
thing unthinkable.
305Gregory rose, Barnabas following his example.
“I will go over and inquire,” he said, taking his hat,
and they left the house at once.
The night was cold, a light fall of snow lay over the
valley, and the stars glittered from a frosty sky.
When they reached the neighbourhood of Anna’s cottage
Gregory sent Barnabas up to the door, while he
waited at a little distance. In a few moments Frieda,
who now shared Anna’s cabin, joined him, while Barnabas,
with the action of a waiting watch-dog, humble,
and yet with a due sense of responsibility, hung about
near by. Frieda’s account was reassuring, as far as
immediate solicitude for Anna was concerned; she had
come home ill from the afternoon sewing class, and had
a chill, headache, and fever. She was resting now, and
would doubtless be up again in a day or two.
“Nothing can keep her down, Mr. Gregory,” Frieda
said in conclusion. “I am not frightened just now, but
we all see plainly that Sister Benigna is killing herself
by inches. She eats hardly anything, and yet works as
if there were no limit to her strength. Sometimes I
think she is just laying down her very life for us here in
Fraternia, and we’re not worth it,” and with this Frieda’s
voice broke a little, and without stopping to say more
she hurried back.
Gregory bade Barnabas good night hastily, and then,
instead of going home, he walked rapidly down the
rough road to the mill, unlocked the door, and went into
his office and sat down at his desk. His face had
changed strangely; it had grown grey and his lips were
tightly compressed. He sat long in motionless silence,
thinking intensely. Although he had himself watched
Anna with growing uneasiness, the suggestions of
306Frieda and Barnabas came upon him with startling effect.
He asked himself now with unsparing definiteness
whether this was indeed the final turn of the wheel of
torture on which he was bound, or whether he could
wait for another. The conviction was upon him, stark
and stern, that in the end he should yield and seek the
one means of escape which was still open to him, and
which he had been holding off with almost dogged resolution.
He recalled the shaping of events in Anna’s
life during the last few months, and his face softened.
Late in November, when Keith went North, she had
accompanied him, having been sent for by her sister
Lucia. Their mother, Gulielma Mallison, upon whom
age and infirmity had increased heavily, had conceived
a controlling desire to return to her childhood home,
the Moravian town of Bethlehem, to end her days.
Anna had visited Haran therefore, and had brought her
mother back to her early home, establishing her there in
the quiet Widows’ House in peace and satisfaction.
At Christmas, when she returned alone to Fraternia,
Anna had seemed to bring with her a new infusion of
active and aggressive force. Relieved of anxiety for
Keith, whom she had left in good spirits, and from the
constant ministration to his comfort, she was now wholly
free to devote herself to the common good. With new
and contagious ardour she had thrown herself therefore
into the life of the discouraged little community, cheering
the faint-hearted and rekindling the flagging purposes
of the fickle. She taught the girls and women
quaint fashions of embroidery and work on linen which
she had learned from her mother, and inspired them
with the ambition to earn something with their needles,
thus dispelling their listlessness. She seemed at times
307to possess in her own enthusiasm and courage sufficient
motive power to energize them all; she worked and
moved among them as if no less a task had been given
her, and with a sweetness and sympathy that never
failed.
All who watched her wondered at the power in her,
and many who had murmured hitherto now declared
themselves ashamed, and responded willingly. John
Gregory marvelled more and more at the qualities of brilliant
leadership which she now developed. Within him
a voice, which he could not always silence, sometimes
whispered that if such a nature as that which had been
gradually revealed to him in Anna Burgess, in its plenitude
of power and its greatness of purpose, could have
been allied to his own, a movement far beyond what he
had even dreamed of in Fraternia might have been
possible.
But while a certain reënforcement of courage had
followed Anna’s strong initiative, and while in some
respects the domestic conditions of the people had been
improved and their murmurings for the time partially
silenced, the gravity of the situation and of the prospects
for the future as Gregory saw them remained unchanged.
Keith’s mission had proved unproductive, as the letter
just received emphasized afresh. Gregory himself could
not leave Fraternia at this juncture without manifest
peril. Only his personal influence now availed to hold
together many discordant elements which were very
actively at work and arrayed against each other. From
no quarter could he discern any hope of substantial
support.
And now, last of all, she was laid low; worse, they
told him she was laying down her life in her devotion
308to his cause—she, his one high-hearted, intrepid,
dauntless ally! Bitterly Gregory said to himself that
she who had freely left wealth and station was starving
and working to her death to save him from defeat, and
all in vain, unless—Should he calmly sit by and
permit the sacrifice? Great of heart as she was, all her
work could not avail, nor his, unless aid of another
kind could be found, and that at once.
And it could be found; of that he had little doubt.
To find it he must, indeed, make a certain compromise,
but it was one which involved only himself, his own position,—perhaps,
after all, only his own pride. Had he
not himself preached against the subtle selfishness which
underlies the passion for individual perfection? Did not
the common good and the larger interests of his cause
call for the sacrifice?
Gregory rose at last and went to the outer door of
the mill. It was five o’clock of the February morning,
and off to the east a faint yellowish light was climbing
up the sky. The mill pond lay dead in its stillness
below him; the water fell quietly, stilled with ice, over
the dam; the valley stretched out white and cold; a
mile below was the black belt of the forest, and beyond,
the dim plain, with the stars shining over. It was pure
and cold and pitiless. In sky or earth no sign of relenting,
no suggestion of a gentler day. But Gregory was
not looking for signs, or reckoning with omens, save
the omen which had come unasked and taken up its
abode in his mind. He was thinking, not of the scene
before him, nor of the sleeping village behind, nor even
of the outline of the future, nor of Anna in her pain
and patience.
An old story was repeating itself within him of the
309ancient king to whom the sibyl came bringing nine
books, which, being offered, he rejected; and of how, in
the end, it had been the fate of the king to desire the
three which alone were left, and to obtain them at a
threefold price.
Presently the door of the mill was closed, and Gregory
returned to his desk. There was sternness in his
face as he set about writing a letter, and self-disdain
and humiliation; but he wrote on, and finished the letter,
which he signed and sealed. Then, without further
hesitation or pause, he crossed the road to the mill
stables, brought out and saddled his own horse, a tall
roan, fit to carry a man of his proportions, mounted it,
and rode away down the valley toward Spalding. The
letter which he chose to mail with his own hand was
addressed to Senator Ingraham, and it stated briefly that
the writer had come to the conclusion that his rejection
of the generous gift offered him on a certain night known
to them both was ill advised, and that if the same or
any part of it were offered him now for the furtherance
of his coöperative work, it would not be refused.
A week passed, and Anna, protesting that she was as
well as ever, had returned to her regular round of cares.
The only change in her appearance was a peculiar
whiteness of the tints of her skin, such that her face at
times seemed actually to emit light. The contrast of
this whiteness of tint with the masses of her dull, dark
hair and the large, clear eyes, full of the changing lights
which lurk in hazel eyes, gave her at this time a startling
beauty, startling because it suggested evanescence.
Most marked, Fraternia people said, was this phase of
Anna’s appearance on a night near the end of another
week, when a large company was gathered in the hall
310over the mill for an entertainment. Anna had been
much interested through the winter in a series of
author’s evenings, and this chanced to be the occasion
for the closing programme of the series. The subject
was Lowell, and prose had been read and poetry declaimed;
the changes rung on all,—humorous, pathetic,
and patriotic. The little hall was full and the audience
eager for the closing number, because it was to be given
by Anna herself, who had a charming gift in rendering
poetry.
She had chosen a number of passages from the “Commemoration
Ode,” and as she stood on the platform with
its dark crimson background and drapery, dressed, as
she was habitually when indoors, in white, her eyes
kindling as she spoke the noble words of the noblest
American poem, the audience watched her face with an
attention even closer than that with which they listened
to her voice. This, indeed, showed a slight weakness,
but the eloquence and energy of her spirit subdued it to
a deeper pathos, while its impressiveness was most
marked when she reached the close of the fifth strophe,
every word of which to her meant John Gregory:—
“But then to stand beside her,
When craven churls deride her,
To front a lie in arms and never yield,
This shows, methinks, God’s plan
And measure of a stalwart man,
Limbed like the old, heroic breeds,
· · · · ·
Fed from within with all the strength he needs.”
She was half-way through the lines when a striking
and incomprehensible change passed over her. Her
311eyes dilated, then drooped, her breath almost forsook
her, and her quiet hands clasped each other hard. She
continued to speak, but her voice had lost its tone and
timbre. Almost mechanically she kept on to the close
of the part she had selected, but those who loved her
feared to see her fall before the end. When she reached
the room behind the stage, the faithful Frieda was waiting
to receive her.
What had happened? Was it merely that Sister
Benigna was still weak from her illness? As they
broke up, these questions were repeatedly asked among
the people. Some of them called attention to the fact
that while she was speaking a stranger had tiptoed into
the hall so noiselessly that only a few persons had been
aware of his coming, but he was a man of so singular
a physiognomy and an expression so repellent that a
vague connection was felt to link Anna’s agitation with
his appearance.
This man was Oliver Ingraham.
Anna, with Frieda, hurrying out of the mill alone
into the blackness of the starless and stormy night,
and turning homeward, heard steps approaching, heavy
and hard. Some one passed them. Anna knew only
by the great height and breadth of shoulder, dimly
discerned through the dark, that it was Gregory. She
stopped, and he turned, catching a glimpse of her white
face.
“Mr. Gregory,” she said, “Oliver Ingraham is here.
What can it mean?”
“Here already!” he cried almost harshly. “I have
only this moment received a despatch!” and he hastened
forward, as if he might yet interpose some obstacle to
this most unwelcome arrival.
312The words in the despatch, crumpled fiercely and
thrust into Gregory’s pocket, were these:—
“My son will be the bearer of the funds required.
Trust you will give him the opportunity he desires for
study of social problems.
“Ingraham.”
It was the first word of reply to his letter which Gregory
had received, and it was a word which made him
set hard his teeth and groan like a wounded lion.
“Perhaps it is fair,” he said to himself, as he crossed
the bridge; “but Ingraham’s Nemesis as the price is a
higher one than even I expected.”
Above, in the mill hall, Oliver was mingling with the
people who were in the habit of remaining together for
an hour of social interchange after the programme, on
these occasions. He quickly found his old townsman,
Mr. Hanson, who seemed more amazed than rejoiced to
greet him in Fraternia.
“Stopped over, eh, to see our village?” he asked.
“On your way North, I suppose?”
“Oh, no,” said Oliver, smiling complacently; “I
have come straight from home. I have a commission
for your czar from my father, and I rather look to throwing
in my fortunes with you folks. I want to see how
this experiment works; study it, you know, on all
sides. If I like it, I guess I shall stay.”
“Oh, really,” said Hanson, a little aghast.
“How are you getting on, anyway?” proceeded
Oliver, craftily. “Rose-colour washed off yet? Has it
been pretty idyllic this winter? Say, I should think
catering for a crowd up in this valley would be quite a
job. Don’t get salads and ices every day, I take it.”
313Hanson shook his head impatiently, longing to get
away from the questioner.
“Well,” said Oliver, “I suppose by this time Gregory
the Great has issued his edicts and made all the
poor people rich, hasn’t he? and all the rich people
poor? That seems to be the method of evening up. I
don’t wonder the poor fellows like it. Should think
they would.”
“You will know better about us when you have been
here awhile, Mr. Ingraham.”
Oliver nodded cheerfully. “Oh, yes, of course. I am
going to take notes, you see. Perhaps I’ll write it up
by and by,” and he tapped the neat note-book which
protruded from a pocket of his coat. “Are all the
sinners saints by this time?” he added.
“Hardly.”
“Well, then, we’ll put it the other way,” said Oliver,
with a peculiar significance in his high voice, “are the
saints all sinners yet?” The malicious leer with which
this question was accompanied seemed to turn it into
a hateful insinuation, which Hanson, with all his half-suppressed
discontent, resented hotly. He was about to
make a hasty reply when Gregory came up and spoke
to Oliver, to whom he held out his hand. His manner
was as cold as could be with decent courtesy, and when
Oliver had shaken his hand he passed his handkerchief
over it with the impulse a man has after touching a slug
or a snake.
Oliver noticed the gesture, and rubbed his long white
hands together reflectively.
314
Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been;
I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;
Unto thine ear I hold the dead sea-shell
Cast up thy Life’s foam-fretted feet between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
Which had Life’s form and Love’s, but by my spell
Is now a shaken shadow intolerable,
Of ultimate things unuttered, the frail screen.
Mark me, how still I am!
—D. G. Rossetti.
It was mid-April and the afternoon of a day of perfect
weather, of summer rather than spring.
The hills around Fraternia were covered now in sheets
of flame-colour, white and rose, from the blossoming of
the wild azalea and laurel. The air was laden with
perfume and flooded with sunshine.
It was at the close of the afternoon school when
Anna, a company of the children with her, started to
climb the eastern hill which rose a little beyond the
mill pond, to gather flowers.
Gregory, from the open window of his office in the
mill, watched the pretty troop as they threaded their
way up the steep path and were soon lost to sight in the
woods. He heard them speak of Eagle Rock as the goal
of their expedition,—a favourite point of view, less than
a mile to walk, and nearly on the crest of the hills.
Anna was dressed in the coarse white cotton of Fraternia
manufacture which was the usual dress of the girls
and women of the village in the house and out in dry,
315warm weather, simply made, easily laundered, cleanly,
and becoming. Her tall figure, the last to disappear up
the woodland path, had attracted the eyes of another, as
well as of John Gregory.
Oliver Ingraham, in these two months grown an all-too-familiar
figure in Fraternia, finding his way stealthily
and untiringly to every favourite nook and corner of the
valley, had also watched the start from some lurking-place.
It was half an hour later when Gregory noticed
him sauntering casually along the foot of the hill, and
with an air of indifference striking into the same path
which Anna and the children had taken. Gregory
watched him a moment fixedly, his eyebrows knit together,
and he bit his lip with impatience and disgust.
Of late Oliver had shown an ominous propensity to
haunt Anna, whose dislike of his presence amounted
well-nigh to terror. More than once Gregory’s watchful
eyes, which never left Oliver’s movements long unnoted,
had observed attempts on his part to follow or to
overtake her, to seek her out and attach himself to her.
Invariably Oliver found himself foiled in these attempts,
although he had no means of attributing the interference
to Gregory. Thus far the intervention had been
accomplished almost unnoticeably, but none the less
effectively.
The afternoon was a busy one for Gregory. The
mill, no longer silent and deserted, was running now on
full time; and, to the great satisfaction of a majority
of the colonists, Gregory had withdrawn his scruples
against selling the products of their manufacture at a
reasonable profit. He was finding it easier and easier
to compromise with his initial scruples. It had also
become more imperative to try to meet, in so far as
316was reasonable, the demands of the people, since already
Fraternia had suffered serious defections. A number of
substantial families had withdrawn earlier in the spring,
among them the Hansons and the Taylors, who had
taken the pretty Fräulein Frieda with them, to Anna’s
great regret. Others talked of leaving, and, in spite of
the greater financial easiness, criticism and jealousy were
at work in the little company at first so united. The
almost insuperable difficulties attending the experiment
had now fully declared themselves.
However, there was plenty of work to do, which was
a material relief. Gregory glanced now at the pile of
papers before him on his desk, and then once more
through the window at the figure of Oliver, receding up
the hill. No, he could not run the risk of allowing
him to overtake and annoy Anna. The work must
wait. Taking his hat, he left the mill hastily; but, instead
of choosing the path behind Oliver, Gregory
turned and went up the valley a little distance, struck
through behind the houses, crossed a bit of boggy ground
which lay at the foot of the hill in this part of the valley,
and so mounted the hill below Eagle Rock in a line to
intercept Oliver before he could overtake Anna, if such
were his purpose.
There was no path up this side of the hill, but Gregory
found no trouble in striding through the deep underbrush
which would have swamped the women and
children completely. Soon he reached a point from
which he commanded a sight of Eagle Rock, and a
glance showed him the fluttering dresses of the children
already on its summit. In another moment he dashed
up on a sharp climb, for the hill was very steep at this
point, and reached the path only a short distance from
317the base of the rock. He looked up, but no one was in
sight; then down the path, and in a moment Oliver
came into view walking much more rapidly than fifteen
minutes before, when he had entered the woods. He
slackened his pace as he caught sight of Gregory slowly
approaching down the path, and sought to hide a very
evident discomfiture with his evil smile.
“You got up here in pretty good time, didn’t you,
Mr. Gregory?” he asked, as he reached him. “I saw
you, seems to me, in your office when I came along.
I’ve taken my time, you see. A beautiful day for a
walk.”
Oliver’s small green-grey eyes twinkled wickedly as
he spoke these apparently harmless words, for he saw,
or felt, that beneath every one of them Gregory’s anger,
roused at last, reached a higher pitch. Oliver perfectly
understood what he was here for.
“I have a word to say to you,” said Gregory, stormily.
“You will have to stop haunting the women and children,
and annoying them with your attentions. I speak
perfectly plainly, Mr. Ingraham; they are not agreeable
and they must be stopped.”
“You rule with a rod of iron here, Gregory,” said
Oliver, his long fingers twining together; “what you
say goes. Still, you know, you might go a little too
far.”
Gregory did not reply, but stood watching him as a
lion might watch a reptile.
“I am willing to stay in Fraternia, under favourable
conditions,” Oliver proceeded, with hideous cunning;
“but I should think, as I am paying pretty well for my
accommodations, I ought, at least, to get the liberty of
the grounds. What do you say?”
318“I say, Go, this minute, or I’ll throw you neck
and crop down that bank,” said Gregory, with unmistakable
sincerity, at which Oliver, suddenly cowed, and his
weak legs trembling under him, faced about promptly
and retreated down the path. He paused at a safe distance,
while Gregory’s hands tingled to collar him, and
called back, in a loud, confidential whisper:—
“You can have her all to yourself this time. That’s
all right,” and with this he hurried off, his thin lips
writhing in a malicious smile, and his hands clenched
tightly and cruelly.
For a moment Gregory stood still in the path. A
dark flush had mounted slowly even to his forehead.
He was irresolute whether to follow and find Anna, or
to return directly to the valley. Something in Oliver’s
ugly taunt acted like a challenge upon him, it seemed,
for, turning, and catching through the trees the glimmer
of Anna’s white dress, he hastened on up the path.
He found her sitting on a mossy rock at the foot of
the cliff, where there were trees and shade and a fair
view of the valley, and the blue billowing sea of the
mountain ranges beyond. Her strength and colour had
returned with the out-door life of the spring, and she
looked to-day the embodiment of radiant health.
Greatly astonished at Gregory’s appearance, she yet
welcomed it with unaffected gladness, starting to rise
from her low seat with the impulses of social observance
which she could not quite outgrow even in the wilderness;
but he motioned to her to sit still. All around
her the children had flung their branches of laurel and
azalea, running off to gather more and bring her, and the
delicate suffusion of colour made an exquisite background
to the picture. The picture itself, Gregory thought,
319Everett ought to have painted for a Madonna; for in
Anna’s lap leaned a sturdy, fair-haired boy, with a cherub
face, a child of less than four years, his head thrust back
against her shoulder as he looked out from that vantage
ground with serene eyes at Gregory, while Anna held
one round little hand in hers and looked down upon the
child with all the wistful fondness of unfulfilled maternal
love.
“Do not smile,” said Gregory, with affected sternness
at last, as she glanced up from the child to him
with a questioning smile, expecting some explanation
for his presence here; “I have come this time to scold
you.”
“O dear!” said Anna, with a gay little laugh of surprise.
“My turn has come!”
“Yes, your turn has come,” he continued gravely.
“Do you not know that when you come away on such
long, lonely climbs as this, even with the children, you
give us anxiety for you, and trouble? I have had to
come all this distance to take care of you.”
Anna shook her head, much more puzzled than
penitent.
“What is there to be troubled about?” she cried.
Gregory did not answer at once. He found it impossible
to make mention of Oliver in her presence.
He fixed his eyes on the little child, who was on his
knees now, by Anna’s side, pouring out into her white
dress a small handful of scarlet berries, and letting
them run like jewels through his fingers, laughing to
see them roll.
“Do you not know,” he began again, very slowly,
“that we fear for your strength, for your endurance,
upon which you will never, yourself, have mercy?”
320Anna began to protest a little, her colour deepening at
some vague change in his tone and manner.
“Do you not know,” he continued, not heeding her
interruption, “that you are the very heart of our life,
here in Fraternia? that we all turn to you for our
inspiration, our hope, our ideal? Should we not
guard you, since without you we all should fade and
fail?”
Never before had Anna heard this cadence of tenderness
in Gregory’s voice, nor in the voice of man or
woman; the whole strength of his protecting manhood,
of his high reverence and his strong heart, was in it,
but there was something more. What was it? A
tremor ran through Anna’s heart. Could she dare to
know? She lifted her eyes at last to meet his look, and
what she read was what she had never dreamed of,
never feared nor hoped—the supreme human love which
a man can know. Reading this, she did not fear nor
faint nor draw her own look away, but rather her eyes
met his, full of awe and solemn joy; for at last, in that
moment, her own heart was revealed to itself.
“O Anna!—O Benigna!”
Gregory spoke at last, or rather it seemed as if the
whole deep heart of the man breathed out its life on
the syllables of those two names.
In the silence which followed Anna sat quite quiet
in her place, the sun and the soft shadows of the young
oak leaves playing over her face and figure. The child
still tossed his red berries with ripples of gleeful laughter
over the whiteness of her dress, and not far away could
be heard the busy voices of the older children as they
ruthlessly broke away the blossoms from their stems.
And in the sun and shade and the stillness Anna sat,
321while wave after wave of incredible joy broke over her
spirit. For the first time in her life she knew love,
knowing it for what it was. She had not asked to
know it, nor mourned that she had missed its full
measure, nor dreamed that it could yet be hers; but
it had come, not stayed by bonds nor stopped by vows.
It was here! The man whose strong spirit, in its
freedom and power, had cast its spell upon her mysteriously
even before she had seen his face save in a dream,
loved her, with eyes to look like that upon her and that
mighty tenderness! Life was fulfilled. Let death come
now. It was enough!
The moment, being supreme in its way, was not one
to leave room for outward excitement, for flutter and
trepidation. Anna rose now from her place with perfect
calmness, and bent to take the little, laughing child
by the hand, while she went to call the others together.
Gregory had turned away slightly, and with his arms
crossed over his breast was leaning hard against the
rugged wall of the cliff, his head thrown back against
it, his face set, his whole aspect as of some granite
figure of heroic mould, carved there in relief. Anna
heard a sound like a groan break from his lips, and
turning back, with an irresistible impulse, laid her hand,
light as a leaf, upon his arm.
From head to foot Gregory trembled then.
“Don’t,” he said sternly, under his breath.
“What is it?” asked Anna, confused at his sudden
harshness.
“It is the end,” he said, with low distinctness and the
emphasis of finality.
Then, only then, did Anna waken to perceive that
what in that brief moment of joy she had taken for
322glory, was only shame and loss and undoing, unless
smothered at the birth.
An inarticulate cry broke from her then, so poignant,
although low, that the little child, pulling at her dress,
began to cry piteously. She stooped to comfort him,
gave him again the hand which she had laid on Gregory’s
arm, then, turning, walked slowly away.
Gregory made no motion to detain her or to follow,
but stood as she left him, braced against the rock. Anna
gathered her little flock, and they hastened down the hill
in a gay procession, with the waving branches of April
bloom, and the merry voices of the children. Only
Sister Benigna, as she walked among them, little Judith
noticed, was white and still.
323
Then fell thick rain, plume droopt and mantle clung,
And pettish cries awoke, and the wan day
Went glooming down in wet and weariness;
But under her black brows a swarthy one
Laugh’d shrilly, crying: “Praise the patient saints,
Our one white day of Innocence hath past,
Though somewhat draggled at the skirt. So be it.”
—Tennyson.
At nine o’clock that evening Barnabas Rosenblatt,
working around the mill stables, was startled at the sudden
appearance of Gregory, who passed him without
speaking, as he went hurriedly into the stall and brought
out his horse. The day had been followed by a night
of brilliant moonlight, and Barnabas saw, as distinctly as
if it had been day, that his face, usually firm and composed,
was drawn and haggard to a degree. He started
to speak to him, but an imperious gesture of Gregory
silenced him. Without a word Barnabas therefore assisted
him in saddling the horse, and then stood perplexed
as he watched him gallop away down the valley in the
moonlight.
Straight on through a narrow bridle-path which led
by a short cut through the stretch of oak wood to the
little hamlet of Spalding, Gregory galloped. He had
reached the outskirts of the woods, and was in sight of
the level meadows and the cluster of lights of the village
beyond, when he suddenly perceived the figure of a man
on foot approaching him from the direction of Spalding.
A few steps more, and Gregory saw, with surprise and
324strange perturbation, that it was Keith Burgess. He
reined up his horse and stood motionless, until Keith had
reached him, and called out a greeting as he stood in the
path, looking a pigmy beside the Titanic proportions of
the horse and rider. The moonlight showed Keith more
thin and wan than ever. He had returned to Fraternia
once before this spring, in March, but, after a week, had
been glad to go back to Baltimore, with some rather
vague commission. His return at this time was wholly
unexpected, even by Anna.
Keith had long since come to stand to Gregory for
something like a concrete embodiment of his many
disappointments and vexations, by reason of his lukewarm
participation in his own purposes, his ineffective
labours, and his continual draft upon Anna’s sympathies.
As Gregory looked down upon him, thrown at this
moment so unexpectedly in his path, a singular hardness
toward the man came upon him, for he was hard beset by
passion; and while he meant to have no mercy upon
himself, he was not in the mood to have mercy upon
another man, least of all, perhaps, upon Keith.
“You are going back to Fraternia?” he asked coldly,
his tone striking Keith with chill surprise. The latter
assented as a matter of course.
There was a moment of silence; Keith felt something
sinister in the nature of it.
“Why should you go back there?” Gregory asked
now, with the same careless coldness; “you have no
heart in Fraternia or its purposes.”
Keith was stirred, and answered pointedly:—
“I have at least a wife in Fraternia, Mr. Gregory.”
Gregory looked at him a moment with a measuring
glance, noting his wasted and feeble appearance.
325“I suppose you do need nursing,” he said slowly.
Keith Burgess turned ashy pale. Was this wanton
injury? Did Gregory wish to insult him? What did
it mean? Gregory did not know himself. He knew
only that, in the agony of that night, for he had fully
resolved himself to see Anna no more, the sight of
Keith Burgess worked like madness in his brain.
“Mrs. Burgess,” he said now, with the deliberation
of strongly suppressed excitement, “is more highly endowed
for great issues than any person I have ever
known. It is almost a pity that she should not have
freedom to use her powers in the greater activities to
which she is fitted.”
Each sentence, cruel with all the cruelty which the
climax of pride and passion could inspire, pierced the
heart of Keith like a shaft barbed with steel. He stepped
backward and leaned against a tree, breathing hard.
The occult, mysterious quality of the moment’s experience
to him was that he saw himself, distinctly and as if
by an inexorable necessity, turning away from Fraternia,
and going back by the way which he had come.
Without another word, Gregory tightened his rein
and galloped on, out through the wood’s edge and so
down to the plain. He did not see, in the high excitement
of the moment, the figure of a man lurking stealthily
among the trees at no great distance from where
Keith stood. When the sound of the horse’s hoofs had
died away, this figure stepped softly out from its shelter
and passed along the bridle-path, peering inquisitively in
the face of Keith as he still stood where Gregory had
left him. But neither did Keith observe him, nor
care who he was, and so he went on his way toward
Fraternia. He looked back once or twice. His last
326look showed him that Keith had gathered himself together
and was walking slowly away, in the direction
from which he had come.
Keith walked blindly on, not knowing why he went,
nor where he went, like a man who has suffered a heavy
blow upon his brain, and moves only automatically without
thought or will. On the outskirts of the village,
near the railroad, he passed a barn, rickety and disused,
but there was old hay in a heap on the floor of it, it
offered shelter, and shelter without the contact with
others from which he shrunk as if he were in disgrace,
and fleeing for his life. Accordingly Keith went
into this place, drawing the broken door together as far
as he could move it on its rusty hinges, threw himself
on the heap of hay, and slept until five o’clock in the
morning. The one passenger train of the day passing
through Spalding eastward was due at five o’clock.
Keith was wakened by the long whistle announcing
its approach, and came dizzily out into the chill and
wet of a miserable morning.
The train slowed down as it neared the place where
he stood. He swung himself upon it with the brief but
tense nervous energy of great exhaustion, sank into a
vacant seat in the foul, unventilated car, and was carried
on, whither he did not know or care.
Anna, coming back from the walk to Eagle Rock,
had gone to her own house alone. Here she spent the
earlier hours of the evening in the deepest travail of soul
she had ever known. The purity and unworldliness of
all her life, both the life of her girlhood and that with
Keith, had served to keep far from her familiarity with
possibilities of moral danger. She was as innocent of
certain kinds of evil as a child, and the thought that a
327temptation to a guilty love could assault her would,
until this day, have appeared to her incredible. And
now, in the fierce struggle of this passion, the only one
she had ever known, she knew herself not only capable
of sin, but caught at last in its power.
Not that for a moment she dreamed of any compromise
of outward fidelity; such a thought she rejected
with horror as inconceivable either to herself or to
Gregory, whom she firmly believed to be far stronger
than she. But the flaw in faithfulness had come
already, beyond recall, beyond repair. Her whole soul
moved toward this man, who had so long secretly dominated
her inner life, with a mighty and overwhelming
tide.
Her relation to Keith had been that of gentlest consideration,
kindliness, and affection. More it had never
been; and to-night it seemed as powerless to stay the
flood of passion as a wall of sand built on the shore of
an infinite sea by the hands of a child.
So Anna thought, so she felt. She went to the door
of her cabin with this thought mastering her, driven by
restlessness, and longing to feel the coolness of the night
air on her face. For a moment she stood in her open
door, and saw mechanically that the moonlight was shed
abroad in the valley; she heard the voices of the men
across the river singing in a strong, sweet chorus.
Then, suddenly, as if the words had been spoken in
her ear, the thought came to her, “But Keith needs me;
he needs me now!”
What was it? She did not know. She never understood.
The sense was strong upon her that Keith was
near her; that he was in some danger, and needed her.
Without pause to consider what she did, Anna flew
328down the river path and reached the mill breathless.
The pond lay in the moonlight, motionless. The air
did not stir. The mill was still and dark and deserted.
The woods were dim with their night mystery. She
looked down the valley, and up, and across the river,
and everywhere was perfect peace, save in her own
heart. Then in the silence she heard a step approaching
from the direction of the woods below. She drew
back hastily into the protection of the mill porch and
waited for the steps to pass. Whoever it was paused
for a little time above the mill, and Anna’s heart beat
hard with a sense of dread and danger. Finally she
heard the steps pass on, and when she returned to the
road she recognized the unmistakable figure of the man
now moving on in the unshadowed moonlight to the
bridge above. It was Oliver Ingraham.
Slowly Anna returned to her own cottage, not daring
to do otherwise, a heavy oppression on her heart.
Early in the morning, which was cold and rainy,
Oliver was at her door, and she answered his summons
herself, full of a vague, trembling anxiety. He scanned
her face narrowly; it was careworn and hollow-eyed,
for she had slept not at all.
In silence he handed her a letter, broken at the edges,
and soiled with long carrying about. She glanced at
the address. It was Keith’s, written by herself perhaps
a month before; not a recent letter. She looked at
Oliver in speechless perplexity.
“I found that lying on the ground down near Spalding
last night,” he said, still eying her craftily, and with
that hurried off, giving her not another word.
Anna went in, closed the door, and drew out the
letter. It was unimportant, insignificant, simply an
329ordinary letter of wifely affection and solicitude, but one
which had evidently been much read, being worn on the
folds. Who could have carried it save Keith himself?
Had he, then, been really near her the night before?
Was he really coming?
Anna knew already that it was for this she longed
supremely.
Noon brought to Everett a special messenger with
a letter from Gregory, who brought with him also the
roan horse ridden the night before to the county
town, C——, and evidently ridden fiercely. At C——
was the bank where Gregory transacted all his business.
This letter stated, first of all, that he had suddenly
reached the conclusion that it was important and imperative
that he should go at once to England in the
interests of the colony. He should not return to Fraternia
before sailing. He wished to empower Everett
to act in his place during his absence, which would not
be for more than three months.
Various items of business were enumerated, and the
letter closed with this remarkable statement: “The
funds furnished by Mr. Ingraham of Burlington have
been returned to him with the exception of the five
thousand dollars already used, which I shall restore at
my earliest opportunity. This removes the obligation
from us of counting Mr. Oliver Ingraham as one of our
number, and I beg that you will signify to him my
conviction that his continued presence in Fraternia is
impossible. Do not allow him to stay a day if you can
help yourself, and keep him under your eye while he
remains.”
330
I said farewell;
I stepped across the cracking earth and knew
’Twould yawn behind me. I must walk right on,
... Fate has carried me
’Mid the thick arrows; I will keep my stand,
Not shrink and let the shaft pass by my breast
To pierce another: oh, ’tis written large
The thing I have to do.
—George Eliot.
The following morning Anna sent for Oliver.
Word had reached her that he was about to leave
Fraternia. In the depth of her present distress and
perplexity a thought which “had no form, a suffering
which had no tongue” had arisen. Gregory, she
knew, had left the village hastily that night under stress
of powerful emotion, perhaps in a condition of mental
excitement exceeding his own control. It seemed to
her possible that somewhere on the way from Fraternia
to Spalding he might have encountered Keith. The
letter brought by Oliver indicated, she was more and
more convinced, that he had really been on his way
to her. If this were true, some event had interposed,
something had occurred to hinder his coming. What
could it have been, supposing him to have been but two
miles away, save some mysterious, unthinkable effect
of an interview with Gregory, if such there had been?
It was no longer possible, no longer justifiable, to await
events. She must herself discover all that Oliver knew,
even if the discovery were to mean despair.
331Alone, in her own cabin, she received Oliver. If
Keith had been in Fraternia, or John Gregory, it would
not have been permitted; but her intense anxiety and
suspense overbore her usual shrinking from contact with
the man, and Everett yielded to her wish to see him
alone.
Oliver entered the cabin, noting its simple appointments
with his characteristic curiosity. Anna pointed
to a chair which he took, although she herself remained
standing. Her face was as white as her dress, her eyes
deeply sunken, her manner sternly imperious.
“You are going away from Fraternia to-day?” she
asked, with swift directness.
“Yes,” said Oliver, nodding with his peculiar smile;
“this precious demigod or demagogue—whichever you
please—of yours, your imperial Gregory, has issued a
ukase against me, in short, has done me the honour to
banish me from the matchless delights and privileges
of Fraternia!” The last word was spoken with a slow
emphasis of condensed contempt.
“There is something really a little queer about it,”
Oliver continued, in a different tone. “I am on to
most of what happened between my father and Gregory,
but I’ve missed a link now somewhere. You see, the
governor, in a fit of temporary aberration, offered Gregory
a magnificent contribution for his socialist scheme
down here; but Gregory was pretty high and lofty just
then, and, ‘No, sir,’ said he—I heard him, though he
and the governor don’t know it—‘No, sir, I couldn’t
touch your money. I am just that fastidious.’ The
governor had been confessing his sins to Gregory, the
worse fool he! It seemed that his money had come to
him in a way that might make some men squeamish, and
332Gregory, oh, dear, no! he wouldn’t have touched those
ill-gotten gains as he was feeling then—not with the
tip of one finger.
“But the joke is,” Oliver went on, “that he had to
come to it. Oh, yes; he got down on his marrow bones
to the governor here about three months ago, and wrote
to him that he had reconsidered the matter, and saw his
mistake,” and Oliver gave a low chuckle; “so the
governor had to come down with the lucre, more or
less filthy as it was, and I don’t think he was quite so
much in the mood for it either as he was at the first, to
tell the truth. But he sent it all the same, and sent
me with it, don’t you see? I came as the saviour of
Fraternia, although I have never been so recognized. The
whole town has been run the last month or two on
Ingraham money, and it seems to have greased the
wheels about as well as any other money, for all I see.
But now comes the unexpected! Off goes Gregory to
England, sends back the governor’s check, so I hear
from Everett, and kindly writes me to take myself off.
What brought him to that is what I don’t quite see
through yet.”
“I have no doubt,” said Anna, concealing her dismay
at Oliver’s malign disclosure with a manner of cold
indifference, “that Mr. Gregory had good reasons for
thinking it better for you to return to Burlington.”
“You’re right there,” retorted Oliver, quickly; “oh,
yes, he had excellent reasons, the best of reasons. A
man who knows too much is often inconvenient, you
know.”
“Mr. Ingraham,” Anna asked hastily, apparently
ignoring this insinuation although she trembled now
from head to foot, “I am not interested in the business
333relations of your father and Mr. Gregory. It was
not to hear of them I sent for you. You brought me a
letter yesterday which I think must have been not long
ago in my husband’s possession. I wish you to tell me
if, on the night when you found this letter, that is the
night before last, you saw my husband in the neighbourhood
of Fraternia?”
“Oh, yes,” replied Oliver, as if it were quite a matter
of course; “were you not expecting him?”
“Where did you see him?” The question came quick
and sharp.
“Well,” said Oliver, reflectively, “you would like me
to be exact, I suppose. Let me see, how shall I describe
the place so that you will recall it—distinctly.”
There was a certain cold deliberation in the articulation
of these words which gave them a sickening cruelty.
They called up strange visions of dread and dismay to
Anna’s tortured imagination.
“Speak more quickly,” she commanded, rather than
asked, “the precise spot makes no difference.”
“It was near the edge of the woods, on the Spalding
side, that I saw him first. The night was quite bright
with moonlight, if you remember. I had taken a stroll
down to Spalding myself for some of those little luxuries
which Fraternia doesn’t furnish, and was on my way
back when I first noticed Mr. Burgess. He was just
striking into the path, there by that dead oak tree; you
may remember it. I noticed it because it stood out so
white in the moonlight, and it was just at the foot of it
that I picked up that letter. I did not know that he
had dropped it, nor whose it was until after I got
home.”
“Undoubtedly false,” thought Anna; “you had not
334had the chance to read it, that was all,” but she did not
speak. Oliver too was silent, as if he had answered her
question, and was done.
“Please go on.” Anna kept her patience and control
still.
“Oh!” exclaimed Oliver, as if surprised, “you want
to hear more, do you? All right. I guess likely I’m
the only man that can tell you, being the only witness,
in fact.”
“Witness of what?” Anna cried importunately.
“Well, that’s it. That’s what I’ve asked myself
more than once since that night, and I rather guess as
good a description as I could give would be to call it
a kind of moral murder; a moral murder,” and Oliver
repeated the phrase as if gratified by the acuteness of
his perception in forming it.
He watched her face closely, and beginning to fear
from the bluish shade which tinged her pallor that Anna
would soon be released from his power to torture by
unconsciousness, hastily took another line.
“Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about, Mrs. Burgess,
nothing at all. That was just a little fancy of mine,
just my metaphorical way of stating things. It was a
very simple little incident, nothing which need affect a
man unpleasantly in the least. It just happened, you
see, that Gregory was galloping down the path toward
Spalding, and he met your husband, and they had a little
talk together,—a mere quiet conversation for a few moments,—and
Mr. Burgess seemed to change his mind
about going to Fraternia just then, and turned back
toward the village. That was all. I watched him a
little, to be sure he didn’t need any help, you know,
afterward. Gregory galloped right along; he was going
335to catch a train, I suppose, at C——, and that made him
in something of a hurry, of course.”
“Why should my husband have needed help, Mr.
Ingraham? Will you be good enough to explain yourself
clearly, and in as few words as possible?” Anna
spoke more calmly now, but her eyes were like coals of
fire.
“Certainly, certainly. I cannot repeat Gregory’s
language, not literally, but it seemed to cut Mr. Burgess
up a good deal at the time,—at least I fancied so.
That is what I meant by that little simile of mine
awhile ago. He’s all over it now, of course. It was
only a few words anyway. Just that Gregory said, in
that short way he has once in awhile—Probably
you’ve never heard him; he wouldn’t be apt to speak
so to you,” and Oliver decorated the sentence with one
of his most insinuating smiles.
“Mr. Gregory said—?” Anna asked, looking into
his face with an unflinching directness, before which
Oliver’s eyes wandered nervously.
“Why, he seemed surprised that Mr. Burgess should
be coming back so soon, and he gave him to understand
that a man like him, who was sick all the time, and not
much of a Fraternian, either, was rather a drag on such
a woman as you, don’t you see? and it might be fully
as well if he should keep away and give you your freedom
most of the time.”
“Did my husband make any reply that you heard?”
asked Anna, huskily, this hideous distortion of unformulated
traitor thoughts which had lurked in the background
of her own consciousness confronting her now to
her terror, and her heart doubly sick with the loathing of
being forced to ask such information from such a source.
336“He said you were at least his wife, I remember that.
I guess that was about all. It struck me at the time
that there was something in what he said, with all due
respect for Gregory. He rules everything here, of
course, though, I suppose,—even to the relations between
husbands and wives.”
The last words were lost upon Anna.
“You may go now, if you please, Mr. Ingraham,”
she said calmly. Her look and an unconscious gesture
of dismissal were imperative, and Oliver, not daring to
disobey, left the place without another word.
For two days Anna sat alone and in silence, waiting
for the summons which she knew by a sure intuition
must come.
Oliver’s story had been confirmed in so far that it
had been learned that Keith had been seen in Spalding
on the night of Gregory’s departure, and had been known
to take an east-bound train on the following morning.
Nothing further was discovered regarding his movements,
and it was useless to try to follow and find him. Anna
could only wait.
When the message came it was, as she had known it
would be, urgent and ominous. Keith was in Raleigh;
he was very ill; she must go at once.
Everything was ready, and with a strange composure
and quietness as of one carrying out a line of action
fully foreseen, Anna went on her journey, so like and
yet so unlike that other journey to Keith which she had
taken in her girlhood, ten years before. That had ended
in their marriage. How would this end?
Reaching the city in the afternoon, Anna was driven
with the haste she demanded to the address named in
the message which had come, not from Keith himself,
337but from a physician. It was not that of a hotel, as she
had expected, but of a boarding-house of very moderate
pretensions in a quiet street. Even the small details of
the place, in their cheap commonness, smote her heart.
Was it in places like this that Keith had, after all, been
living, instead of in the well-appointed hotels in which
she had always fancied him?
The landlady, a kindly, careworn woman, plain of
dress and of speech, received Anna with a mournful
face, but forebore explanations, seeing that it was time
rather for silence, and led her down a long corridor to
the door of a dim and silent room.
There was a little stir as Anna stood in the open
door; the physician came out and spoke to her, and
she saw a nurse sitting quietly by a window. But Anna
did not know that she saw or heard them; her sense
took in only her husband, with eyes closed and the
shadow of death upon his face, lying upon the strange
bed in this place of strangers.
She was by his side and his hands were in hers, when
presently he opened his eyes. Seeing her, a sudden
light of clear recognition illuminated his face, a triumphant
ray of joy and satisfaction. He tried to speak,
but could not, but Anna felt the faint pressure of his
hand.
Once more his lips moved, and Anna saw rather
than heard the words:—
“Good-by, darling,” and with them the same look
of ineffable love and peace. Then his eyes closed and
he sank again into unconsciousness.
The physician, leaning over, said softly, “He will not
rouse again. This was most unexpected. He has been
unconscious since morning.”
338The end came soon after midnight, unconsciousness
falling into death without pain or struggle.
Of the days which followed Anna could never recall
a distinct or coherent impression. Detached scenes and
moments alone lived in her memory.
She knew that Everett was there and that they started
for Fulham. Somewhere on the way Professor Ward
met them, and Foster, the old family servant. Nothing
seemed strange and nothing seemed natural; all passed
to her as in a dream.
She was at Fulham; she remembered afterward that
she sat in the library which Keith had longed for so,
and his body lay beside her, below the mantelpiece
where she had so often seen him lean. The old servants,
hastily summoned for the occasion, went and
came, and looked at her, she thought, with eyes of cold
respect and mute reproach. Then Everett stood there,
and she saw that tears were on his face as he looked
upon his old friend, but she did not cry. Only when
Everett turned toward her she said, very simply, with a
motion of her hand which signified all that the place
meant:—
“Keith gave his life—for me.” Then Everett had
looked at her as if alarmed at what he saw in her face,
and had gone out hastily and sent some woman to her,
whom she did not want.
The incidents of the funeral seemed to pass by unnoticed.
She remembered the moment at the grave when
at last she fully realized that this was the end. Then
she was at the Fulham railroad station, and Professor
Ward had come to her on the train and had held her
hands strongly in his, and had said with urgent emphasis:—
339“You must always remember that Keith’s physician
and all his old friends believe that his life was prolonged
rather than shortened by your living in the South. Do
not for a moment dwell on the opposite thought.”
She had felt her dry lips tremble then and her eyes
grew dim, but she did not speak. The train had moved
out soon, and she knew that kind eyes watched her,
but she could not meet their look.
Of the journey down into the West to her mother
that night she remembered nothing, save that the incessant
jar of the train seemed to follow in a rhythmic endless
repetition the familiar refrain of the old passion hymn,—
“Was ever grief like mine?”
340
From the unhappy desire of becoming great;
Preserve us, gracious Lord and God.
—Old Moravian Liturgy.
There is a time when religion is only felt as a bridle that checks us, and
then comes another time when it is a sweet and penetrating life-blood, which
sets in motion every fibre of the soul, expands the understanding, gives us the
Infinite for our horizon, and makes all things clear to us.—Lacordaire.
On the quiet street of the hill town of Bethlehem
stands the quaint and ancient building set apart in the
Moravian economy as the Widows’ House.
In the interior of the old stone house, with its massive
walls and rows of dormer windows, are wide, low-ceiled
halls, and sunny, sweet-smelling chambers, clean
and orderly, chaste and simple, as those of a convent.
Here in mild monotony and peace the women of the
“Widows’ Choir” live their quiet life, and here in
September we find Anna Burgess, who had fled to this
haven of her mother’s abiding-place, as to a sanctuary.
The evening was warm, and the windows of Gulielma
Mallison’s room were open to the sunshine and the sweet
air. Flowers blossomed in the deep window-sills; the
bare floor was as white as scrubbing could make it; the
appointments of the room were cheerful and refined, albeit
homely, and the atmosphere was that of still repose.
By the window Gulielma Mallison sat knitting, her face
beneath its widow’s cap calm and strong in its submissive
sadness. Opposite her on the sofa lay Anna, each line
of her face and figure expressing the suffering of a
341stricken heart. There had been months of slow, wearisome
illness and of grievous mental suffering, in which
her days had been a Purgatorio and her nights an
Inferno; and now weeks of convalescence, which were
bringing life back into her wasted frame, still failed to
bring healing to her mind.
The mother’s fond eyes, glancing unperceived across
her knitting, noted the listless droop of the long white
hands upon the white dress, the marblelike pallor of the
forehead from which the hair was so closely drawn, the
hollow cheeks, the piteous sadness of the mouth,
the glassy brightness of the eyes, fixed in the long, still
gaze of habitual introspection.
“Surely,” sighed Gulielma Mallison to herself, as she
had before a hundred times, “there is more than the
bitterness of death in her face; widowhood alone to
the Christian brings not such havoc as this. It is in
some place of danger that her thoughts are dwelling. I
should fear less for her if she could only speak!”
But Anna’s grief could not find its way to words.
How could her mother, in her sober, ordered existence,
her decorous and righteous experiences of life and love
and death, comprehend what it was to live with shadows
of faithlessness, even of blood-guiltiness, for perpetual
company? For to Anna’s thought Keith had been
driven to his lonely death by the hardness of Gregory,
by words which had issued from the white heat of his
passion for her, a passion unrebuked by her,—nay,
rather, shared to the full. Was she then guiltless of
her husband’s death?
Not for a moment could Anna divide herself from
Gregory in responsibility for the action which Oliver
had characterized as “moral murder.” Unsparingly
342just to herself, she bore to the very limit of reason all
the fellowship which was imposed upon her by the
mastery of a love so long lived in its unconsciousness
and silence, so soon cut off, once perceived and acknowledged.
It has been said that “all great loves that have
ever died, dropped dead.” Anna’s mighty passion had
been stillborn, slain by the words which had sent Keith
on his dim way to death. For she had never doubted
that Oliver’s rehearsal of the scene in the woods between
Gregory and Keith had been substantially true. She
knew there had been spiritual violence done, and her
soul recoiled from the very strength and power which
had once enchained her. Something of diabolical pride
seemed to her now to invest even the austere morality
of Gregory. He would have spurned a yielding to the
weakness of the flesh, his moral fastidiousness would
have made it impossible; but he fought the fire of love
fiercely with the fire of pride, not humbly with the
weapons of prayer. No shield of faith nor sword of the
spirit had been his in the hour of temptation, for all his
high ideals, but the sheer, elemental force of human will.
He had conquered, or rather had grappled with, the one
passion; but the very force by which he had conquered
turned again and conquered him, and his very power
became his undoing.
Beside this conception of Gregory which had now
taken possession of Anna’s mind, Keith’s gentleness,
his faithful, patient life, above all, the greatness of the
silent sacrifice which he had made for her sake when he
embarked on the Fraternia adventure, became sacred
and heroic. She saw at last what his leaving his normal
life had been; she believed, as she had said to Everett,
that he had literally given his life for her, and the sense
343of his devotion, so little understood, so scantily recognized,
wore ceaselessly at her heart. Her one drop of
balm was the memory of Keith’s last smile of triumphant
love and faith; the bitterest drop in her Cup of
Trembling that not one last word had been given her to
show her by what paths his soul had fared, and whether
thoughts of peace had lightened his sufferings. Having
loved her, he had loved her to the end,—this only she
knew. His faithfulness had not failed.
Words which her father had spoken to her shortly
before his death, vaguely comprehended at the time,
haunted her now, “With greatness we have nothing at
all to do; faithfulness only is our part.”
If only she had earlier discerned their meaning!
Such shape did these two men take to Anna now;
the one who had moulded all her outward life and touched
her inner life hitherto so faintly, the other who had
mastered her in her innate longing for power and freedom,
and controlled her inner life for many years: Keith
seemed to her now like some spirit of gentle ministration,
humble, faithful, undefiled; Gregory, like some proud spirit,
even as Lucifer, son of the morning, who had said, ‘I will
ascend into heaven,’ but who had been brought down to
hell, dragging with him all that was highest and holiest.
And she had thought him so different! Like another,
her heart would cry out:—
“I thought that he was gentle, being great;
O God, that I had loved a smaller man!
I should have found in him a greater heart.”
Once, some weeks earlier, there had come to her a
brief note from Gregory, written soon after his return to
Fraternia. It said only:—
344“I have sinned deeply, against God; against him;
most of all against you. I cannot even venture to ask
you to forgive. I can only say to you, the penalty is
wholly mine to bear. You are blameless.”
Having read the note, Anna threw it into the fire, and
wrote no word in return.
And for herself—?
There was no softness of self-pity in Anna’s remorse.
Dry and tearless and despairing, she saw herself, after
long years of spiritual assurance, of established and unquestioned
righteousness, overwhelmed at last by sin; not
by the delicate and dainty and inconclusive discords
which religious experts love to examine and analyze, but
by a gross ground-swell of primitive passion, linking her
with men of violence and women of shame.
Looking back upon her girlhood, Anna thought with
sad self-scorning of her young desire for “a deeper
sense of sin.” It had come now, not as the initial stage
in a knowledge of God, and of her relation to him, but
as a tardy revelation of the possibility of her nature, undreamed
of in her long security. The cherished formulas
of the old system, its measure of rule and line applied
to the incalculable forces of the human spirit; its hard,
inflexible mould into which the great tides of personal
experience must be poured, seemed to lie in fragments
about her now, like wreckage after a storm. She remembered
that Professor Ward had once spoken to her of her
inherited religious conceptions as terrible in their power
to mislead, to deceive the heart as to itself; she saw the
danger of a belief founded not on infinite verities, but on a
narrow mediæval logic. She knew sin at last, and knew
that it was not slain in the hour of spiritual awakening.
She thought of the night preceding her union with
345her father’s church, and the recoil of nameless dread
with which she had seen passing under her window the
village outcast whom she supposed to be incredibly
guilty and cut off from fellowship with all who, like
herself, were seeking God. And it was that very night
that she had first dreamed of the mighty personality,
the embodiment of power and greatness, which she had
thought to find in Gregory. Though late, she now
clearly perceived that in no human being could that ideal
of her dream find full manifestation.
Such thoughts as these were passing behind the pale
mask of Anna’s pain-worn face, which her mother’s
eyes were watching. The impress of suffering which
they gave was hard to see, and a long involuntary sigh
escaped Gulielma Mallison’s lips.
Anna looked up with eyes as sad as those of Michel
Angelo’s Fates.
“Mother dear,” she said, her voice strangely dulled
from its former clear cadence, “why do you sigh? Do I
make you unhappy?”
“I cannot comfort you, Anna Benigna,” said the
mother, sorrowfully. “It is for that I sigh.”
“No,” Anna said slowly, her eyes falling again from
her mother’s face; “you cannot do that, no one can.
No one lives who can comfort your child, mother.”
“I have often thought, Anna, that you may have
suffered,” the mother ventured almost timidly, “as many
others have, from the sad mistakes so common to people
who regard the Christian life and the married life as
ends, instead of beginnings.”
Gulielma noticed a slight quickening of interest in
Anna’s eyes, and went on thoughtfully, with her simple
philosophy of life:—
346“To read the books that are written, and to hear the
things that are said, young people can hardly help supposing
that when they become Christians they will
know no more of sin, and when they are married they
will have only joy and perfect union. To my way of
thinking, these wrong ideas are responsible for a great
deal of needless unhappiness. The Christian life is
really a school, with hard discipline and harder lessons.
As for marriage—”
“Well,” said Anna, as her mother paused, “as to
marriage?”
“It may be a crown,” said Gulielma, slowly, “but it
is sure to be in some measure a cross. It is a testing,
a trial, a discipline, like the rest of life. Only, whether
it happens to be happy, or happens to be hard, it is
equally to be borne faithfully and in the fear of God.”
There was silence for a little space, and then a laughing
voice in the street outside, called:—
“Mrs. Mallison!”
Gulielma rose and stepped to the window, looking
out over the crimson and purple asters into the street.
A young girl who stood there handed her up a letter.
“I don’t know whether it belongs to Mrs. Burgess or
not. The address has been changed so many times,
but the postmaster said I was to ask you.”
“Very well,” was the answer, and as Gulielma
turned back, a letter in her hand, she found Anna sitting
up, leaning upon her elbow, her eyes strangely
eager. She held out her hand, not speaking, and
received the letter. The upper line, which struck her
eyes instantly, was her own name, and it had been
written by Keith. She could not be mistaken. The
mother’s anxious eyes saw every trace of colour ebb away
347from Anna’s face and lips, and then stream back until
the faint flush rose to her forehead. She had not
stopped to decipher the many addresses written below,
crossed and recrossed by many pens, but, seeing her own
name written by the dear dead hand, she pressed the
letter hard against her heart and so lay a moment, silent.
Soon she looked up and met her mother’s eyes. A
wistful, heart-breaking request was in her own, which
she hardly dared to speak.
“May I be all alone, mother?” she asked faintly;
“my letter is from him. It has gone wrong, but it has
come to me, you see, at last. In the morning I will see
you. I will tell you then—all.”
In another minute, the door quietly closing, Anna
found herself alone. Breaking the seal, she saw that the
letter had been written three days before Keith’s death.
An error in the original address, doubtless due to his
exhaustion, had sent it far astray. The letter said:—
My own Anna,—I am here in Raleigh in a comfortable
house, and with kind people, but I fear that
I am very ill, and that the end is now not far away,
and I want you as soon as you can come to me. I
hope there will be no need of alarming you with a telegram,
for I know that you will start as soon as this
reaches you, and that will be in good time.
Do not think that this crisis is sudden and unforeseen.
The physician in Baltimore told me plainly that I
could have but a short time to live, and when I knew
that I hastened to reach you as quickly as I might. It
was for you only, Anna, in all the world that I longed.
I believed that a few weeks of quietness were for us,
not harder than we could bear, being together.
348I think you will know that something turned me
back almost at my journey’s end. John Gregory is
honest, and he will tell you, if indeed he knows himself.
I do not know now what he said to me, I do not
care to remember. Whatever it was it should have had
no weight, being spoken, I know, under some strong excitement,
but with it there went that strange, irresistible
influence which Gregory exerts over me, and before
which I was, or seemed to myself, powerless. I felt
his will was for me to go back, not onward to you, and
I yielded as if unable to do otherwise. I do not know,
I cannot understand. I wish it had not been so, but
rather for him than for myself, for I know that in his
higher mood the thought of that night must be hateful
to him.
I want to say now while I can that neither you nor
he must look upon these events in a way to exaggerate
or overemphasize their importance. I can see that you
with your sensitive conscience and he with his great
moral severity may judge over hardly. The difference
to me has not been great. The end was very near, and
is not hastened, and I shall see you yet before it comes.
If I had not been weak I should have kept on my way.
It was my weakness that sent me back rather than the
outward compulsion.
I shall not want to talk of this when I see you,
Anna, and so I will write to-day some things which have
come to my mind this winter, for I have come to see
many things in a new light.
John Gregory loves you. I do not blame him for
that, nor wonder. “We needs must love the highest
when we see it.” He is a man of great power and of
the highest spiritual ambition. He is far nearer to you
349in ability than I; he could enter more deeply into your
purposes and sympathize in fuller measure with your
intellectual life. I believe you could have loved him, if
you had been free, and that the union of two such
natures would have been nobly effective for good. But
I found you first, and with my fond dream that a sign
was given me, won you for my wife. What then?
It fell to my part, although not of my own will, to
give your life the shape it has taken. Sometimes I see
plainly that I, a poor, pale, colourless fellow, wholly
beneath both you and John Gregory, have maimed both
your lives, so much stronger and more potential than
mine could ever be.
And yet, Anna, for all this I cannot wish the past
undone. I claim you wholly, heartily, for my own, and
whatever the future may hold for you, and however the
past has tried you, I believe in your love for me, and in
the union of our spirits. My heart is at rest. My trust
in you is absolute and beyond hurt or harm, and all the
joy my life has known has come through you, my true
and faithful wife. Never doubt this if you love me
and would honour my name.
I wish to lay no hint of limitation or direction upon
your future. Wherever you go, the dear Lord will go
with you, and you will bring peace and consolation.
You cannot go astray, nor your work be brought to
naught, for God is with you. All that I have is yours
without reserve or condition, beyond the few legacies I
have named in a letter to my lawyer in Fulham. Use
what was ours together freely wherever you will,
whether to establish Fraternia, or in any line of effort
which appeals to you. My keenest regret is that heretofore
I have withheld from you what you desired. Forgive
350me. Those scruples look small and mean to me
to-day.
Good night, my Anna—my Benigna, my highest
grace and blessing.
Do not think of me as left comfortless. I am not
alone. The King is at the door, and I hear his voice.
He has even come in and will sup with me and I with
him.
Let his peace be upon us both.
Keith.
It was morning.
Entering her room, Gulielma Mallison found Anna
fully dressed, standing in a stream of sunshine, with a
brighter light than that of the sun upon her face.
“Oh, mother!” she cried, stretching out both her
hands, “I can live. I can sleep. I can even cry now.
Oh, these tears! how they have fallen like rain on a
thirsty ground. See, mother; after all I am young still
and strong. Feel my pulse, how full it is this morning,
how strong and steady! I am at peace. The peace
of God has come to me at last. Keith has comforted
me.”
351
Tolerant plains, that suffer the sea and the rains and the sun,
To spread and span like the catholic man who hath mightily won
God out of knowledge and good out of infinite pain
And sight out of blindness and purity out of a stain.
—Sidney Lanier.
While we are not to forget that we have fallen, we are not always to carry
the mud with us; the slough is behind, but the clean, clearly defined road
stretches ahead of us; skies are clear, and God is beyond. We were made for
purity, truth, and fidelity, and the very abhorrence of the opposite of these
qualities bears testimony that our aspirations are becoming our attainments. The
really noble thing about any man or woman is not freedom from all the stains
of the lower life, but the deathless aspirations which forever drive us forward....
Better a thousand times the eager and passionate fleeing to God from a
past of faults and weaknesses, with an irresistible longing to rest in the everlasting
verities, than the most respectable career which misses this profound impulse.
—Anon.
It was Easter morning in Bethlehem. The stars
still shone in the sky, and the little town lay in the hush
and stillness which precede the earliest dawn, when suddenly,
far off, like a whisper from the sky, the tones of
the trumpets could be heard announcing the risen
Christ.
Down through the quiet streets passed the solemn
choir, the trombones blowing their deep-breathing melody
in full and thrilling power. They stopped for a
little space upon the bridge, and as their herald choral
swelled and grew and filled the air, lights came out in
visible response here and there throughout the sleeping
town; and as they passed on down the streets, under
352the starlit sky, groups of men and women joined them
in quiet fashion until the procession grew to a great
though silent throng.
From the Widows’ House Gulielma Mallison and
Anna came out and stood together for a moment in the
dusk, watching the approaching stream of people as it
moved forward in the gloom, and listening to the strains
of music which called to their ears:—
“Rise, heart; thy Lord is risen!”
Soon the procession had reached their door, and, joining
it with humble gladness, mother and daughter followed
with the rest, greeting their friends and neighbours
in simple, heartfelt kindliness.
The church was reached, and within it a solemn service
was begun, and continued until the brightening of the
eastern sky gave token of the sunrise. Then, as with
one accord, and with the quietness of dear and familiar
custom, the great congregation streamed out into the
twilight of the early dawn, and, again forming in procession,
moved forward up the winding hill to the cemetery,
the choir with the pastor leading the way.
It was an early spring, and on the air was the thrill
of awakening life. As she stood in the midst of the
reverent throng now waiting, as if expectant, in the still
churchyard, Anna felt the deep significance of the time
as it had never been given her to feel it before.
Again the trombones poured forth their deep, yearning
music in the ancient Easter hymn, the people singing
in full chorus:—
“Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! Come, we implore thee;
With longing hearts we now are waiting for thee;
Come soon, O come!”
353Then followed, in slow, rhythmic chant, the noble
words of the old Moravian liturgy:—
“This is my Lord, who redeemed me, a lost and undone
human creature, purchased and gained me from all sin, from
death and from the power of the devil;
“Not with gold or silver, but with his holy, precious blood,
and with his innocent suffering and dying;
“To the end that I should be his own, and in his kingdom
live under him and serve him in eternal righteousness, innocence,
and happiness;
“So as he, being risen from the dead, liveth and reigneth
world without end.”
With awe and joy came back the great volume of
the response:—
“This I most certainly believe.”
“Keep us, oh Lord,” came then the prayer, “in everlasting
fellowship with those of our brethren who since
Easter Day have entered into the joy of their Lord and
with the whole Church triumphant, and let us rest
together in thy presence from our labours.”
The sun rose. The quiet God’s Acre was gilded
with its misty beams, and the pale opal tints of the
morning clouds reflected its glory. From the whole
assembly burst forth the mighty hallelujahs of the hymn
of praise, borne up by the deep diapason of the trumpets:—
“The Lord is risen. He is indeed risen.”
As Anna came out of the churchyard in the sunrise
light, the peace of God was in her look, and the victory
of the Resurrection morning shone in her eyes.
Hardly had she reached the street, when some one
354who had stood, awaiting her coming, put out his hand
and greeted her. It was Pierce Everett.
“I saw you in the churchyard,” he said. “I wish
to speak to you now, if I may.”
Anna welcomed him with quiet gladness, and they
walked on together through the street, until they were
beyond the crowd. Then Anna asked:—
“Do you come from Fulham?”
“Oh, no,” was the answer, “from Fraternia, or from
what was Fraternia. My home is there now, and will
be.”
“I did not know,” Anna said simply, not finding it
easy to say more.
“There is little left there now of the old village or
of the old life. Even the name is gone. They call it
Gregory’s now.”
“I heard that the land had gone into the hands of
the man who held the mortgage.”
“Yes, it is all gone now; all except the bit of ground
that Mr. Gregory’s house stands on. The house and
land we have kept for our own.”
“And there you live alone? Are all the others gone?”
“Nearly all. Some stay and work in the cotton mill,
which has been enlarged, but the cabins are mostly used
now by the coloured people who work the land, and are
employed also in the mill.”
They were silent for a moment, and then Everett
said:—
“We have heard that you are going soon to India.
Is it true?”
“Yes, I go next month.”
“As a teacher?”
“Yes, partly, but I am also to be connected with a
355hospital. You know that is work which I have always
liked, and this is to be a new hospital, bearing my husband’s
name.”
Everett was silent, and Anna noted as she had not
before the profound sadness of his face. Presently he
looked at her with undisguised anxiety and asked a question
which she had already begun to dread.
“Would you be willing to see Mr. Gregory before
you go?”
A painful change passed over Anna’s face.
“I cannot,” she replied quickly; “it is not necessary.
Is he here, Mr. Everett? Did he come with you?”
and he noticed that she trembled and lost colour.
“No,” he answered very gently; “do not be troubled.
He is not here. He will not seek to find or follow you.
He will never leave Fraternia again.”
Her eyes questioned his face, for it was impossible not
to detect some melancholy significance in his words.
“Mr. Gregory has received a severe injury,” Everett
went on, as if in answer to her look. “It was a month
ago. He was at work with the lumbermen up in the
ravine. He was working midway of the river, which
was unusually high, and he slipped and fell. Before he
could get to his feet, a heavy log which was carried forward
very swiftly by the current struck him with tremendous
force and stunned him. We were near enough
to reach him almost immediately, but the blow was on
the spine, and it produced instantaneous paralysis. He
will never walk again.”
Swift changes had passed over Anna’s face. In a
softened voice she said:—
“How strange, how very terrible. Is he himself in
other ways?”
356“Perfectly. His mind was never clearer nor more
active. I think he was never stronger in spirit. His
body is a magnificent wreck, that is all.”
“And he does not wish to leave Fraternia?”
“No, I think nothing could suit him so well as our
little stronghold in the solitude there. He does not
mind the changes even, as one would expect. There
is no bitterness. He is too large-minded for that. He
acknowledges himself defeated, but his faith is still
strong in his cause.”
“And how about yourself?”
“I am with him, heart and soul,” Everett answered,
with strong emphasis; “nothing could take me from
him now,—unless my presence ceased to be acceptable
to him. He is, in spite of all that has passed of failure
and defeat, my leader, and will be to the end. He is
imperfect, being human; perhaps there are men least
in the kingdom of heaven who are greater than he.
Nevertheless, he is the bravest man I have ever known
and the most sincere,—I would almost add, the humblest.
So we live on together. He writes, I paint. Barnabas
takes care of the house for us, and little Judith gives us
the touch of womanhood we need to humanize us. An
oddly assorted family perhaps, but we are satisfied.”
Anna listened with intense eagerness to every word,
and found sincere satisfaction in the simple picture
which Everett had thus drawn for her.
“And you have come to Bethlehem—” Anna hesitated,
and Everett took up the word quickly.
“I have come all the way from Fraternia to ask you
to go back with me and see John Gregory once more.
He may live for a number of years, but it is hardly
probable that you ever will see him again. He asks this
357as the greatest kindness you can do him, but he told
me to say that, if you do not feel that you can go, he
will still be perfectly sure that you are doing right.”
Something in the new note of humility, of submission,
in the implied finality of the request, most of all the
vision of the strong man in his present helplessness and
acknowledged defeat, wrought powerfully upon Anna’s
resolution.
They walked on silently for some moments, and then,
turning abruptly to retrace her steps into the town,
Anna said:—
“Yes, I will go with you. We will start to-morrow
morning.”
It was late on Tuesday afternoon when they reached
the valley. As they drove past the mill Anna gave a
sudden exclamation of dismay as she caught a passing
glimpse of a well-remembered figure which she least
expected to see again in Fraternia.
“That could not be Oliver Ingraham,” she cried,
“and yet no other man could look like him.”
“It was Oliver himself,” said Everett, smiling a little.
“How can it be? What has happened?”
“To begin with, I should tell you that Mr. Gregory
succeeded in paying back, even to the last dollar, Mr.
Ingraham’s contribution.”
Anna’s face grew brighter.
“I am glad,” she said.
“Yes, it was better, I am sure. But when this was
accomplished a sense of compunction seized him toward
Oliver for some fancied harshness in the past. Six
months ago he sent for him to come if he would, and he
appeared promptly. Mr. Gregory had conceived the
idea that something better could be made of the man
358under right influences, and he determined to make the
attempt.”
“Can you see any change?” asked Anna, still incredulous.
“It was rather hopeless for a time, only that he so
evidently, for all his former spleen and spite, came to
have a regard for Mr. Gregory, himself, approaching
worship. But when the accident happened up in the
woods and he saw Mr. Gregory helpless as he is now,
it seemed to produce an extraordinary change in the fellow.
He is softened and humanized in a marvellous degree.
He can never be wholesome exactly to ordinary
mortals. I sometimes think he is a snake still, but a snake
with its poisonous fangs drawn. Yes, Mr. Gregory has
made it possible to hope for good even from Oliver.”
“Only a great nature could have made that possible,”
said Anna, musingly.
“Yes,” responded Everett, “and only then a great
nature which had learned obedience by the things which
it suffered.”
Anna was silent. This action of Gregory’s seemed
very great to her, so wholly was it in opposition to his
deep, instinctive antipathy toward Oliver. This man
had seemed to embody in himself the evil forces which
had entered Fraternia to destroy all of highest hope and
purpose with which it had been established. And now
Gregory had stooped to lift up, even to draw to himself,
the man in all his hideous moral ugliness. Idealist as
Anna had ever been, she saw in the nature thus revealed
to her, in spite of failures and falls, a more robust virtue,
a higher spiritual efficacy, than any of which she had
known or dreamed. Again she found herself convicted
of a too narrow and partial view of the working of the
359human spirit in her passionate withdrawal from Gregory
in his time of temptation.
They had crossed the bridge now, and up the wooded
slope Anna saw Barnabas and little Judith standing
before the door of Gregory’s cabin. With simple and
unaffected delight they welcomed her, and then suffered
her to enter the house alone.
When the door had closed behind her, Barnabas came
up quietly and took his place upon the rude steps which
his hands had laid, and so sat, throughout the interview,
as one self-stationed, to keep guard.
The interior of the cabin was as it had always been,
with its rude furniture and its one picture, save that
a broad and capacious couch covered with leather stood
with its head just below the south window. On this
couch, with a rug of grey foxskin thrown over his
limbs, lay John Gregory, his head and shoulders
propped high, his powerful hands lying by his sides with
their own expression of enforced idleness.
He lifted his head as Anna entered, and leaned forward,
raising his right hand in a pathetic salutation of reverence
and gratitude.
Overcome by the new and more august repose of his
face and by the pathos of his look and gesture, Anna
crossed to where Gregory lay, and fell upon her knees
by his side, her tears bathing his hand, although this she
did not know.
For a space neither spoke nor moved. Then, as she
rose from her knees, Anna said under her breath:—
“Life is greater than I thought.”
“Life is great,” returned Gregory, “because we live
in God.” Then he asked humbly, all the fire of his
earlier habit of speech quenched,—
360“Do you then forgive me?”
“Yes, I have forgiven you,” she said softly. “I
could not until, months after my husband’s death, a
letter came to me from him, which had been lost long
in reaching me. It was so noble, so great, so reconciling,
that it sufficed for all—even that,” she added, with
unsparing truthfulness. Then, even more gently:—
“It is altogether from him that I am here to-day.
I could never have seen you again if it had not been for
that letter.”
“Then I owe to him the greatest mercy of my life,”
said John Gregory, solemnly, “and it is fitting that I
should. He was a gentler man than I, a better man. I
did not rightly appreciate him when he was among us.”
“He had no noisy virtues,” Anna said. “I think
none of us perceived fully what he was until he was
gone.”
Then with great delicacy she told Gregory all that
the letter had brought of reconcilement, and especially
the word to him. He heard it in brooding silence, and
his face grew very calm.
“I wanted you to know,” Gregory began after a
long pause, “that my feeling toward you has not been
evil or base or wholly selfish. From the time I first
saw that picture,” and he pointed to that above the fireplace,
“you became to me a kind of religion. You
stood to me for the absolute purity of my ideal, untainted
by self and sin and even sorrow. That picture
gave you to me as a virgin soul in the first dawning of
a great and noble expectation. It was a picture which
a Galahad might have worshipped. But alas! I was no
Galahad.
“I was bringing the picture back to this country, and
361it happened, although you never knew it, that I crossed
on the same ship with you.”
“How could it have been,” cried Anna, “that I never
saw you?”
“I was with my East London people in the other
part of the ship. But I used often to see you with your
husband and with the many friends who always made a
circle about you, and I fancied I saw a change in your
look,—a change which betokened a gradual dimming of
your higher vision, a fading of your ideal. I thought the
people about you were changing you to their own likeness
in some degree, and the thought haunted and disturbed
me more than I had a right to let it.
“I came to Fulham with the picture, which I had
promised to return to Everett. When I reached his
house late in the evening, his mother received me and
told me that he and ‘all the world’ were at a great reception
at your house. She further told me that your
husband’s mother had confided in her her hopes and
her confidence that a new era of social leadership was
now before you, and added that you were indeed already
quite ‘the fashion’ in Fulham’s aristocratic circle.
“I had hardly an hour in Fulham—hardly a moment
to reflect. I acted on my impulse and sought you and
called you out from your brilliant company. You know
what I said. My motive was pure, I think, whether the
action were well judged or ill. When I saw you before
me in that brief interview, in your loveliness, and in the
docility which underlay your frank and candid joy, a
strange impulse arose in me to gain some spiritual control
over you, to have an essential influence over your
thinking and to direct your development and your activity
as I believed would be noblest and best.
362“Naturally I had no opportunity to carry out such an
impulse for a long period, but I think it never left me.
When I saw you that night in the audience at Burlington,
I knew that you would go to Fraternia. I determined
in my own heart that if it could be right, you should.
There was no thought then or for many months that
anything could arise between us which could impair our
faith and duty. Indeed, I never knew myself that it
was you who had wholly mastered me rather than I you,
until that day on Eagle Rock. When I left Fraternia
that night, I knew all—to the very depth. I understood
the blindness and tyranny of my passion, and I left,
meaning never to see you again. Benigna, I did not have
it in my heart to do you wrong, least of all to do wrong
to your husband. It was the suddenness of his coming
before me, and the struggle I was myself undergoing,
which threw me at the moment into a kind of still
frenzy of evil impulse. Gladly would I have died to
atone for it.
“Now, looking back, I almost think I can see that
I was permitted, so far as my individual life was concerned,
to reach some climax of pride and passion, that I
might be brought low in my humiliation. Perhaps in no
other way could I have learned the way of the Cross
than through seeing the failure of my own strength, in
which God knew, I see now, I had taken an unconscious
pride.
“There is nothing left of it. No drop of the wormwood
and gall has gone untasted. But I believe
solemnly to-day in the forgiveness of sins, and rest
in a good hope of salvation through our Master,
Christ.”
Again silence came between them, a silence which
363was full of peace, and then, with something of his old
abruptness, Gregory said:—
“And now you will tell me about your going to India.
You are glad to go; so much I understand.”
“Yes,” Anna replied, “it is a great fulfilment. I
have lived a whole round of life since I first felt the call
to this service, and now I come back to it with a purpose
and conviction even deeper than those which first
inspired me.”
“Then the larger hopes of final destiny do not, in the
end, weaken the missionary motive, you think?”
“Oh, no. That fear belonged only to the time of
transition. The message I have now is a far mightier
and a more imperative one than I had at first. I know
something now of the reality of sin and its terrible
fellowship, and at least far more than in those old days,
both of law and of love. I have learned also a greater
reverence for man as well as for God.”
“Yes,” he said quietly; “it is true. You have been
in training for your work.”
“I am gladder than I can tell you,” continued Anna,
“that I was withheld from going out on such a mission
with the hard and narrow message which was all I had
then to give. It was you, Mr. Gregory, who opened
to me the great truth of the unity of the race, you who
taught me to see that ‘redemption is the movement of
the whole to save the part.’ I share the burden of sin
and suffering with all my fellow-men, and I simply seek
to lift that burden so far as I may where it presses most
sorely. Can there be any doubt that this is where Christ
is not known,—among pagan nations?”
John Gregory thought for a moment before he replied.
“I believe you are right,” he said finally. “The
364needs there are grosser than here, and they are actual
and intolerable; inherent in the system, not artificial.
You have the gift of high ministry. You used it without
stint for our people here in Fraternia, but the
issues were inadequate to your powers; for the conditions
were, after all, abnormal, being produced voluntarily
rather than by necessity.”
“Then do you feel, Mr. Gregory, that the message
of brotherhood, of equality, cannot be spread by such
means as we tried in Fraternia?” Anna asked timidly,
and yet without fear.
“I believe that such isolated, social experiments, for
many years at least, will be as ours has been, premature
and ineffective. They are symptoms rather than
formative agencies. They have significance as such,
but are otherwise unproductive.
“I have not learned this lesson easily,” he added
with a faint return of his rare smile, and the swift,
strong gesture with which he had always been wont to
dash the hair from his forehead. Anna knew without
words that in the fall of Fraternia his dearest hopes, his
most cherished plans, and highest pledges had fallen too.
It was not necessary to open the old wound that she
should know his pain.
“There are more steps between the clear perception
of a condition and the application of remedial measures
than I supposed before I started our colony here. I was
in a hurry, but God seems to have plenty of time.
There must be years, generations, perhaps—I sometimes
fear it—centuries still of education and training
before men understand that they are not created oppressors
by the grace of God, nor oppressed by the will of
God. I read this the other day,” he continued, taking
365a book from the table beside him; “it will show you
what I mean: ‘When a man feels in himself the upheaval
of a new moral fact, he sees plainly enough that
that fact cannot come into the actual world all at once—not
without first a destruction of the existing order of society—such
a destruction as makes him feel satanic;
then an intellectual revolution; and lastly only a new
order embodying the new impulse.’
“That is good,” he commented, laying the book
down, “but what is said there in a few sentences may,
in actual fulfilment, require several centuries.”
“It is hard to wait,” said Anna.
“Yes, it is hard,” Gregory repeated, his eyes resting
on her face with that sympathetic response to her
thought which, she was startled to find, could still stir
the old warm tremor in her heart; “but I can wait, can’t
you? You can if you believe, as we are bound to believe,
in a ‘divine event toward which the whole creation
moves.’ I believe, I thank God, also, that, unworthy and
powerless as I am in this marred soul and destroyed body
of me, I can still hope, still work, still greet the unseen
and expect the impossible.”
They talked long, and Anna rose at last to go.
“Oh, you will be leaving now!” John Gregory cried,
as if he had forgotten that she did not belong to Fraternia.
“Yes,” Anna said gently, “I am to return to Spalding
in an hour for the night, and I start home from
there in the morning.”
“Yes,” he said, “that is right. You must go;”
but with the thought all colour left his face, and his
breath came hard and fast. She saw the physical
change in him then. She had hardly seen it before.
366“Can I help you? Can I bring you anything you
need?” she asked quickly.
He pointed to a glass on the mantel, and said, smiling
faintly:—
“It is so new to make others wait on me. It is not
quite easy to lie here and submit to be served,—even
by you, Benigna.”
As she brought him the glass, the simple act of service
bore with it a peculiar power of suggestion and
produced upon Anna herself an effect far beyond its
apparent importance; for, as she thus served Gregory
in his helplessness, a wave of yearning compassion and
pure womanly tenderness broke over her heart. He
would lie here for years, perhaps, prostrate, defeated,
suffering, and she who had so loved him would go her
way and leave him alone and uncomforted! Could it
be right?
Before the imperious power of this question all other
motives lost their significance.
Gregory had recovered from the sharpest effect of his
agitation, and raised his eyes again, full of patient and
quiet sorrow.
“Tell me,” she cried low and breathlessly, “shall I
stay? I said I wished only to go where was most need
of me. Is it here? Oh, I trust you wholly now, John
Gregory! If you need my service, I will serve you
while we both live.”
Then, as they faced each other with looks of solemn
question, Anna saw into the depth of the man’s strong
spirit, and she was prepared for what would follow.
“That might have been,” he said very slowly, and as
if he were pronouncing his own doom, “even that
unspeakable joy; but I myself, my child, made it impossible.
367Do you no longer see the great gulf fixed between
you and me?”
He was holding both her hands now, and his own
were firm and steady, but his face reflected the stern
agony of the moment, while that of Anna was white as
death. A throbbing silence filled the room, and all the
air seemed to vibrate with the fierce pulsations of their
hearts, for in both the cry arose that their punishment,
self-inflicted, was greater than they could bear.
Then calmness fell, for as with one consent their eyes
met again, and each perceived the light of a final spiritual
conquest, and the shadow of an ultimate renunciation.
Again, as once before, John Gregory said, “It is the
end,” and thus, most quietly, they parted.
It was evening when Anna left Fraternia. As the
road entered the woods where the valley widened to the
plain, she turned and caught a last glimpse of the solitary
light which shone from the lowly house on the
river’s farther side.
Through all the years and changes which remained to
her, never did Anna lose the vision of that light, shining
apart in the high valley. But John Gregory she never
saw again.
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE
Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.