In the bitterness of my humiliation and distress
at the perfidy of Roger Dale I came
near running away from home. My youthful
imaginations, as I have already mentioned, were
of a realistic order, and it had been a favorite
scheme with me to become a shop-girl. So
when this sorrow overwhelmed me, I thought
seriously of going out into the world to seek my
fortune in some such capacity. It was only my
father's kindness during those dreadful first days
that deterred me from carrying out some romantic
plan of escape. I felt sore and mortified,
and ready to take any steps that would separate
me from my old surroundings.
Aunt Helen did her best to comfort me, but
I was in no frame of mind to talk it all over,
which was, I knew, her main idea of solace,—that
and frequent offers of tempting food. On
the other hand, my father made no allusion to
the wretched incident during the fortnight he
remained at Tinker's Reach. He treated me
exactly as if nothing had happened, except that
every morning after breakfast he proposed a
walk through the woods or up the mountain.
Indifferent to everything as I was at the moment,
I had a consciousness that this exercise
was beneficial to me, and I was grateful at heart.
Anything was better than harping over and
over again on the same string the story of my
wrongs. Walking interrupted this in a measure,
though during the long tramps which I had
with my father we rarely talked, and I usually
in monosyllables. In this manner we explored
the outlying country within a radius of twenty
miles, and when night came I was so fatigued
that I was apt to sleep, and consequently was
spared the pale cheeks and dull eyes that for
the most part afflict those who have undergone
an experience similar to mine.
One of the reasons why I did not run away
from home was my lack of funds. I was penniless,
for all my money was with the securities I
threw into the sea. I was inclined, however,
to congratulate myself upon this extravagant
proceeding, for the reason that had I acted less
impulsively I might not have detected Roger's
selfishness until it was too late. But when just
before my father went away he handed me a
roll of bank-bills, the color rose to my cheeks,
and I began to reflect upon the enormity of my
offence. He told me that he had ordered a
saddle-horse to be sent to me from town, which
he hoped I would use regularly, and that in the
autumn he proposed to take me with him on a
journey to California.
I listened in silence; but I rode the horse, and
found him just the companion I required. He
could not talk, and yet was sufficiently spirited
to prevent me from self-absorption. My father
also sent me a box of books, which embraced
a variety of literature. Although there were
some light and amusing sketches among them,
novels of sentiment and poetry had been excluded.
On the other hand he had picked out
the latest and most authoritative publications
relating to history, science, biography, and travel,
by which I soon found myself engrossed and diverted.
I read voluminously, and when this supply
was exhausted I wrote home for more.
This was my interest during the remainder of
the summer, and when autumn came I was
conscious of having undergone a mental change.
Whereas I was formerly trusting, credulous, and
optimistic, at least toward all except myself, I
was become suspicious even of the seal of sincerity,
weighed words, and applied the scalpel of
analysis to others' motives as well as to my own.
But this cynical phase did not last long, and
gave way in turn to a much more serious view
of life than I had hitherto taken. The trip
which I made to California with my father did
much to promote this. We were absent from
home eight weeks, and we visited all the principal
cities and saw the chief sights of the West.
My father was assiduous in his kindness. He
took pains to explain to me the immense value
and importance of the wool and the wheat and
the cattle and the ore which were the staple products
of the States and Territories through which
we passed. He showed me on the map the immense
net-work of railways by means of which
these industries, if not consumed at home, were
carried to the seaboard either of the Atlantic or
the Pacific, and made profitable to the producer
by exportation to foreign lands. He tried to
interest me in such commercial and economic
questions, so that, as he said, I need not like
most women remain in entire ignorance regarding
the vital interests of the world. Although
I was still stolid and indifferent in manner, I
listened attentively to his instructions and appreciated
the service he was doing me.
One evening shortly after our return, Aunt
Helen said to me, with a prefatory cough which
was apt to be a sign that she regarded the topic
to be broached as delicate,—
"Virginia, it is time for you to be thinking
about your party dresses. Of course it is too
late now to send to Paris; but I fancy it is possible
to get tolerable things here, if one is ready
to pay a little more."
"I shall not require party dresses. I am
not going anywhere this winter," I answered
quietly.
As I have just intimated, Aunt Helen was
somewhat apprehensive regarding my plans,
owing to a few hints which I had let fall at Tinker's
Reach. She had suggested my sending
an order to Paris about a fortnight subsequent
to my last interview with Mr. Dale, but I declined
emphatically to do so. It was evident,
however, from her expression that my resolve
was a source of surprise and dismay to her.
"Not go anywhere? Why, people will think
you are ill."
"My looks will belie that, Aunt Helen."
"It will seem so odd and peculiar. A girl
always enjoys her second winter more than the
first. Just when you have come to know everybody
too! I hope you will reconsider this, dear.
You had better order the dresses at any rate,"
she continued; "you might want to go when
the time comes, and then it would be too late."
I shook my head decisively: "I am sorry to
disappoint you, but my mind is made up."
Aunt Helen coughed again. "You are not
disappointing me; it is only on your own account
that I feel badly. You will make a great
mistake, Virginia. Of course, dear, you have
passed through a very unpleasant experience,
which I am all the more able to appreciate from
having had, as you are aware, sorrows of a similar
kind. But painful as such experiences are
for those called upon to undergo them, they
are, I regret to say, far from uncommon; and
if a young person who has suffered a disappointment
were to turn his or her back on all
entertainments, what, pray, would become of
society?"
"Society will get along very well without
me," I answered.
Aunt Helen knitted rapidly in silence, and the
color mounted to her cheeks.
"You will make a great mistake, Virginia,"
she repeated,—"a great mistake. No young
lady of your age can afford to make herself
conspicuous by acting differently from other
people. Do you wish to be called eccentric
and peculiar?"
"I don't much care," said I with a spice of
wickedness. "It might be rather attractive, I
should think, to be different from everybody
else."
"I can imagine who has been putting such
ideas into your head. In my opinion one
strong-minded woman in the family is quite
enough," she said with a toss of her head.
I knew that she referred to Aunt Agnes, who
had returned from Europe a few weeks before;
therefore I said,—
"I have not exchanged a word with anybody
on the subject."
"What is the reason, then, that you persist in
being so contrary?" she exclaimed in a thoroughly
worried tone, laying down her work on
her lap.
"Because I have awakened to the fact that
the little circle in which we move does not constitute
the world," I answered, rather nettled by
her solicitude. "I live as completely hedged
about by conventions as the sleeping Beauty by
the growth of a hundred years."
She opened her eyes in amazement. "All
women in every circle except the very lowest
are hedged about by conventions," she replied
severely. "What is it you wish to do?"
"I don't know that I wish to do anything. I
am waiting for something to suggest itself."
"Does your father know of this?" she asked.
"Of what?"
"Of your intention to give up society."
"I have not thought it important enough to
mention it to him."
"Important enough? I shall feel it my duty
to inform him. We shall hear next that you
have gone on the stage, or done something
equally extraordinary."
"What do you mean?" I inquired with a
wondering laugh.
"I have merely taken you at your own words.
You have expressed dissatisfaction with the circle
in which you live, and wish to try another. The
only place where people are thoroughly unconventional
is on the stage."
It was useless to discuss the matter further.
Aunt Helen was not to be brought to look at it
from my point of view, and I was resolute in my
determination. I wished to meet and know a
different set of people from those of the fashionable
world. My ideas on the subject were
vague. I had spoken the truth in saying that
I was waiting for something to suggest itself.
There were of course plenty of earnest and
interesting people, if one knew how to discover
them. Naturally I often thought of Aunt Agnes,
but pride interdicted me from applying to her.
I felt that she had, to quote her own words,
once for all made overtures to me, which I had
declined, and that I could not bear the humiliation
of going to her and confessing my ingratitude.
When she came to spend the evening with
us just after her return from Europe, her first
remark to me had been: "Well, a pretty mess
you and your Aunt Helen have made of it!"
Beyond this she made no allusion to what had
occurred, but she answered all my questions
regarding her travels with the curtness of one
who mistrusts the interest of the questioner.
However, as we had not met since, I felt in
duty bound to pay my respects to her, and
accordingly dropped in one day about luncheon
time. She was not alone; and her visitor, who
was a young woman some five years my senior,
stopped short in her animated conversation as I
entered, and swept down upon me with a wealth
of facial expression in response to my Aunt's
guttural—
"My niece!"
"This is too pleasant, Miss Harlan. I have
heard about you so often, and wished to meet
you. Now that we are acquainted, I do hope
we shall be friends."
"This is Miss Kingsley, Virginia. You will
not do amiss to follow in her footsteps," said
Aunt Agnes, by way of setting me down where
she considered I belonged, for I had not so far
mortified the flesh as to alter my street costumes.
As a consequence I was the pink of
neatness in a new bonnet which contrasted itself
already in my mind with the over-trimmed
attire of my aunt's guest. I noticed that Miss
Kingsley looked me over from head to foot with
a sweeping glance as she spoke.
But I felt humble-minded, and disposed to
seize any straw that might help me to realize
my desire for new acquaintances. So I smiled
sweetly, as though undisturbed by my aunt's
severity, and greeted Miss Kingsley with more
effusion than it was my wont to display toward
strangers.
"I have heard that Miss Virginia Harlan is
very clever," she said, opening and shutting her
eyes in rapid succession, which I soon found
was usual with her when she wished to be
gracious, and which had much the effect of heat
lightning on the beholder. "Weren't you at
Tinker's Reach last summer?" she continued.
"She was," answered Aunt Agnes in a stern
tone.
"Then you will be able to tell me if it is Mr.
Dobbs or Dobson of Philadelphia, who is engaged
to our Miss Bentley. I wrote it Dobbs, as
seeming rather more distinguished. I agree
with Mr. Spence that monosyllables are the
most sympathetic."
"I am very sorry to say his name is Dobson,"
I answered.
Miss Kingsley sighed. "What a pity! Mere
accuracy and art come so often into collision
that it is difficult at times for us artists to do
justice to both. I expended much thought on
that item."
I felt greatly puzzled. It was evident she
took it for granted that I knew who she was.
But Aunt Agnes in attempting to enlighten me
made my confusion all the greater.
"I presume, Virginia, that you are aware that
Miss Kingsley is 'Alpha'?"
"'Alpha'?" I faltered.
"You must certainly have often read her
column in the 'Sunday Mercury'?"
I looked embarrassed, for I never had. But
the source of the item which had appeared
about me in that newspaper was now apparent.
Miss Kingsley blushed, and giggled convulsively.
"No offence. Quite natural, I'm sure.
You have much better things to do than to read
my articles, Miss Virginia. I only thought you
might have happened to read Mr. Spence's
'Sonnet to Alpha' in our last issue."
I was obliged to admit that I had not; and
feeling that it was as well to make a clean breast
of my ignorance, I acknowledged that I had
never heard of Mr. Spence.
Miss Kingsley gave a little gasp, and looked
amused.
"Virginia! I am astonished," exclaimed Aunt
Agnes. "Your father gave me to understand
that you had been spending a portion of the
summer in self-improvement. Mr. Spence is
one of the most original thinkers in the community.
I cannot believe it possible that you
have never heard of him."
"Perhaps Miss Virginia may have read some
of his poems or philosophy without knowing the
author," suggested Miss Kingsley. "You must
surely have heard of his 'Essay on the Economy
of Speech,' which in my opinion is the most
sympathetic thing he has done."
"One of the most valuable contributions to
the literature of pure thought that we have had
in many years," said Aunt Agnes.
I shook my head.
"Permit me," said Miss Kingsley, fumbling in
a little reticule on her lap and taking therefrom
one of several cards, which she handed to me.
"This is a schedule of his new course of lectures
on Moderation. He regards moderation
as the most valuable virtue of our civilization,
and is devoting his life to the promulgation of
its importance."
The printed card read as follows:—
LECTURES.
HAWTHORNE ROOMS.
SIX SUCCESSIVE SATURDAYS,
BEGINNING DECEMBER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.
BY CHARLES LIVERSAGE SPENCE.
MODERATION.
December 28. General View of the Subject.
January 4. Tension and Torpor of the Nerves.
" 11. The Economy of Speech.
" 18. The Use and Abuse of Raiment.
" 25. Overeating and Undereating.
February 1. Exuberance and Poverty in the Soul.
"They must be very interesting," said I. It
was something at any rate to get a peep into
the charmèd circle, even if I were too illiterate
to share its membership; and I was eager to
know more of the poet-philosopher, as I rightly
judged him to be from Miss Kingsley's words.
"They are eminently suggestive," said she.
"You know him well I suppose."
"Mr. Spence? Yes. If I may say so," she
simpered, with a rapid movement of her eyes,
"your aunt and I were among the first to find
him out."
"Is he young?"
"Just thirty. He celebrated his birthday only
a fortnight ago. It was on that occasion that his
'Sonnet to Alpha' first saw the light."
"Is he good-looking?" I inquired somewhat
ill advisedly, for Aunt Agnes made a gesture of
impatience.
"His face is intellectual rather than handsome,"
answered Miss Kingsley. "Its expression
is very striking and versatile. Fine, piercing
eyes and waving hair, which he wears long. An
intense individuality. But I should scarcely call
him beautiful; interesting and highly sympathetic
in appearance seems to me a more accurate
description."
"If you mean by 'good-looking' to inquire
if he is a fop, Virginia, you had better be
undeceived on that score at once," said Aunt
Agnes, with a toss of her head. "I don't suppose
Mr. Spence has ever danced the German
in his life."
"He is very particular about late hours," said
Miss Kingsley; "that is a part of his system.
He believes in moderation in all things, sleep
as well as the contrary. He almost invariably
retires before eleven, but he rises after eight
hours of rest. He considers either more or less
as deleterious to health. I am inclined to think
though, if Miss Harlan will excuse my correcting
her," she continued turning to Aunt Agnes,
"that he has once or twice in his life danced
the German; for he has told me that in order
to develop his theory intelligently he has been
obliged to study extremes. The happy mean
cannot of course be estimated so intelligently
by one who is without personal experience of
the overmuch or undermuch he reprobates.
Those are his own phrases for expressing excess
or undue limitation, and to me they seem
exquisite specimens of nomenclature. But as
I was saying, Mr. Spence has in the course of
his investigations sampled, if I may so speak,
almost every sensation or series of sensations
to which human nature is susceptible. For
instance, he once spent the night in a tomb, so
as to experience what he has so exquisitely
styled in a poem on the subject 'the extremity
of doleful comprehension.' You were alluding
to the lines only yesterday, Miss Harlan."
"They are Miltonic in their grim power," said
Aunt Agnes.
"Then again, he lived upon dog and horse
during the time of the Commune at Paris. He
says it was worth the experience of an ordinary
lifetime as illustrating the crucial test of discomfort.
So in like manner he has experienced
the extremes of luxury and pleasure. I have
been given to understand that he even felt it his
duty to intoxicate himself upon one occasion, in
order to be able to demolish more conclusively
the arguments of either form of intemperance;
for he considers total abstinence as almost, if not
quite, on a level with over indulgence. One's
instinct of course shrinks at first from the idea
of a deliberate clouding of the senses being ever
pardonable, but the more one examines the
matter the more innocent does it appear; and
I freely admit that I have come to regard an
offence against morals committed in the interest
of science as not only excusable, but in some
cases a positive duty."
"But," said Aunt Agnes, taking up the thread
of her previous remark for my further edification,
"however Mr. Spence may have conducted
himself in the past for the sake of discipline, his
habits to-day are essentially sober and serious."
"Oh, dear, yes!" exclaimed Miss Kingsley;
"he is intensely in earnest, and discountenances
all mere vanities of life. And yet, withal, it is his
aim to pursue the happy mean. He believes
in rational amusements, and is very sympathetic
in congenial society. If you have no pleasanter
engagement for next Wednesday evening, Miss
Virginia, I shall be charmed to have you take tea
with me at my rooms in the Studio Building. I
expect Mr. Spence and one or two other friends
to be present."
"With great pleasure," I answered; and I felt
quite elated by the invitation. My ambition to
form new associations was about to be realized
apparently.
"I have hopes that Mr. Spence will consent to
illustrate his theory of the Economy of Speech
on that evening," continued Miss Kingsley. "As
yet the science is in embryo, and naturally but
a very small number of people are sufficiently
familiar with the practical details of the theory
to make it advisable to adopt it in general conversation.
But with sympathetic friends he may
feel disposed to make the experiment."
"You are extremely fortunate, Virginia," said
Aunt Agnes, with emphasis.
"I should try in vain to be worthy of such an
opportunity; but I am very much obliged to
you, Miss Kingsley," I answered humbly.
"You will soon learn," she said, rising to go.
"I am so glad to have had the pleasure of meeting
you at last. I have alluded to you in my
column on one or two occasions, but this is the
first time I have had the gratification of seeing
you in person. Perhaps you can tell me," she
continued, still holding my hand, "whether there
is any truth in the reported engagement of our
Miss Leonard to Mr. Clarence Butterfield. And
if you happen to know who are to be the bridesmaids
at the wedding of Miss Newton, of Philadelphia,
to our Mr. Lester, I shall consider it
very friendly of you to tell me."
This made me feel very uncomfortable, for I
could not decide on the spur of the moment
whether it would be more charitable to my
friends to tell the truth, or to remain silent and
let their affairs be garbled.
"I want to put in something," she urged,
noticing my hesitation. "I shall either contradict
or confirm the report of the engagement
in our next issue. Of course, artistically it
makes little difference to me which; but it is
much more satisfactory to the immediate friends
to have an item correct,—just as the friends of
a person who sits for a portrait prefer to have
the likeness speaking, whereas to the painter it
is much more important whether the tout ensemble
is a work of art. To obtain a portrait one
can always have recourse to the photographer;
and so to insure mere accuracy in a social
jotting, it is easy to pay for it as an advertisement.
But artists stand upon a different footing.
Am I clear? And I trust that you agree
with me. It will do just as well on Wednesday;
and if you should hear any other items of interest
in my line, please note them. You have
no idea of the competition I have to encounter.
Some artists go so far as to invent their material,
but it is not considered strictly professional.
Well, I must run along. Don't forget, Wednesday
at eight," and Miss Kingsley whisked out
of the room, leaving me in a dazed condition.
The collection of social gossip was apparently
her regular business, which she not only was
ready to acknowledge, but gloried in,—just as a
merchant might take pride in his bargains, or a
lawyer in his arguments. There was a certain
savor of self-reliance and proprietorship in her
use of the word "our," by which it was evident
to me, though I was sadly puzzled at first, that
she distinguished Bostonians from those who
lived elsewhere. But horrified as I was by the
general idea of such a calling, I could not help
feeling amused, and even rather admired Miss
Kingsley's independence and enterprising spirit.
She was a shade vulgar to be sure, but in my
present frame of mind I was disposed to rank
intellectual superiority above mere refinement
of manner. I believed that Miss Kingsley, although
but a few years older than myself, could
put me to the blush in the matter of literary
attainments and general information.
Aunt Agnes was plainly of that opinion, for
she aroused me from my reflections by the
remark,—
"A rare opportunity is afforded you, Virginia,
for mental discipline. I can see that Miss
Kingsley has taken a fancy to you. She is not
a person who goes off at a tangent. She must
have discerned capabilities for culture in you,
or she would never have invited you to one
of her entertainments. To you, who are accustomed
to society fine speeches that mean nothing,
it will probably occur that she is asking
you on my account. Nothing of the sort.
There is not an ounce of affectation in her.
She has asked you because she wants you; and
I can only add that if you neglect after this to
seek improvement, you will be guilty of a deliberate
sacrifice of talents for which there can be
no excuse. Yes, talents. There is no use in
mincing matters; you have talents. I have
always thought so, which is the reason why I
have taken so much trouble to keep you from
evil courses. Your father has given me to
understand that you have begun to listen to the
voice of experience. I tried to save you from
experience by counsel, but you scoffed at my
words. You have providentially had your
eyes opened before it was too late. You have
suffered, and I do not wish to add to your mortification
by reproach. Let by-gones be by-gones,
and I trust to hear no more of Mr. Gale
and his associates."
"Dale, Aunt Agnes," I said firmly.
She shrugged her shoulders impatiently.
"What difference does it make whether it is
Dale or Gale? You heard what Miss Kingsley
said just now about the unimportance of accuracy
in trivial matters. You knew perfectly
well whom I meant. Let me caution you again,
Virginia, against an undue estimate of ceremony
and form. It is the spirit that is of value, not
the mere letter. Especially should you bear
this in mind in the society of such people as
you will meet on Wednesday evening. The
world is a large place, and only in the circle
in which you have been brought up is excessive
regard paid to insignificant details. Sensible
people have other things to think about."
"Does Mr. Spence belong to Boston?" I
asked, anxious to find out all I could about
the celebrity.
But this remark was not more happy than the
last Aunt Agnes pursed up her lips and said,—
"If you mean, was he born in Beacon Street,
no, he was not. Dreadful as it may seem to
you, I know nothing of either his father or his
mother. But you will learn when you are a
little wiser, that genius in order to be recognized
and admired is not obliged to produce
parents."
"You misunderstood me, Aunt Agnes. I
merely wished to know if he were a foreigner
or not."
"He has lived everywhere I believe, and is
cosmopolitan, as all great men are. He is one
of the few characters really worth knowing in
our community. His philosophic and hygienic
thoughts surpass his poetry in worth, in the
opinion of the best judges."
"And Miss Kingsley,—does she write at all?"
"Certainly. Did she not tell you that she is
the compiler of the weekly column of fashionable
items in the 'Sunday Mercury'?"
"Yes," said I, "but that is scarcely literature."
Aunt Agnes did not answer for a moment.
"You have judged hastily, and consequently
have misjudged. If you were to ask me whether
I think Miss Kingsley's present occupation is
proportionate to her abilities, I should answer
'no.' She would herself admit that it was hack-work,—though,
mind you, even hack-work can
be redeemed by an artistic spirit, as she has so
adequately explained to you. All young women
have not independent fortunes, and such
as are without means are obliged to take whatever
they can find to do in the line of their professions.
I agree with your implication that
society items do not constitute literature, but
they are stepping stones to higher things.
Which is the more creditable, pray, to collect
and chronicle the social customs of the age in
which you live, foolish as they may be, or to be
one of the giddy and frivolous creatures whose
doings are thus compiled as a warning to posterity,
or to excite its jeers? The one is work,
earnest though humble; the other, a sheer dissipation
of the energies of life."
I felt that this was aimed at me; but as I made
no response, Aunt Agnes continued:—
"Do not mistake my meaning now, and say
that I wish you to become a collector of fashionable
information. On the contrary, I should
much regret to see you anything of the kind.
By the very circumstance that Providence has
given you the means to pick and choose, you are
marked out for work of a less superficial order.
But you must not under-value others who are
less able to consult their own preferences. Miss
Kingsley is a young woman of decided capabilities
for original composition. Mr. Spence has
spoken to me of her in terms of the highest
praise. Because she is obliged for her support
to cater to the popular taste for social
intelligence, it by no means follows that she
does not employ her spare hours to better
advantage. I shall not violate any confidences
I may have received, in saying that Miss
Kingsley is capable of literary production of
a high order."
"But," said I after a moment's silence, "you
cannot approve of the custom of putting
the private affairs of people into print, Aunt
Agnes?"
"It is preferable at least to wasting the best
years of one's life in fashionable folly," she replied
with some asperity.
As I saw it would be hopeless to pursue the
conversation on this head without danger of further
disagreement, I rose to take my leave. But
when I stooped to kiss her, she took me by the
hand and said with much seriousness, but with a
purpose to be kindly,—
"I have much greater hopes, Virginia, I
frankly confess, regarding the stability of your
character than when I last conversed with you.
You may depend on whatever assistance lies in
my power; but let me impress upon you that
the cultivation which your talents befit you to
attain, cannot be reached without strenuous
exertions on your own part."
"I shall do all I can to make the most of my advantages,
Aunt Agnes, you may depend upon it;
and I thank you heartily for your offer of help.
I hope I have done with frivolity forever."
"My niece marry a whipper-snapper like that
Mr. Gale, indeed! Tell me!"
I had not the hardihood to correct her again,
and so we parted.
Wednesday was only the day after to-morrow,
but in the interim I bought a
copy of Mr. Spence's Poems and also his volume
of Essays, which contained "The Economy of
Speech," "The Overmuch and the Undermuch,"
and "The Equipoise of Passion," the last-named
being an exposition of the selfishness of unlimited
love. His poems, which were for the most part
written in early youth, were in striking contrast
to the essays in tone. Indeed, in the extracts
from the newspaper criticisms prefixed to the
volume of verse he was in several instances
spoken of as the Baudelaire of America. They
were alternately morbid and convivial in style,
and were concerned largely with death, the
rapture of the wine-cup, or the bitterness of
unreciprocated attachment. I was inclined to
be shocked at the outset, for I had never read
anything of the sort before, as Baudelaire was
then merely a name to me. I even took the
book to my own room from an unwillingness to
leave it lying on the parlor table. But after the
first surprise and qualms I found myself rather
fascinated by the unusual nature of the man.
At one moment he appeared to be flushed with
ecstasy, and the next in the depths,—an alternative
so opposed to the tenor of his later philosophy
that I was fairly puzzled, until I reflected
that these poems had undoubtedly been composed
during his novitiate, while he was testing
the extremes of life. It was obvious, if his verse
was any criterion, that he had been very thorough
in his investigations, and that Miss Kingsley's
estimate of his offences against morality was not
an over-statement, to say the least. But my
curiosity was aroused to meet a person whose
ideas and experiences were so signally unlike
my own, especially in view of the seeming total
transition of his sentiments as portrayed in his
subsequent prose writings. I thought them a
little vague, but extremely interesting. The
skeleton of his system was unfolded in the
essay on the "Overmuch and the Undermuch."
Therein he sought to show in a general way the
advantages of moderation. Nothing overmuch
was the key-note of his theory,—an aphorism
which found an analogy in the old Greek motto
οὐδὲν ἄγαν, which he adduced to prove the
antiquity of the virtue, little as it had been practised.
He represented moderation as the great
principle upon which the future progress of
civilization depended. Without heed to the
restrictions which it imposed, human nature
must despair of perfection. He ventured to
predict that rigorous self-restraint, continued
through successive generations, would appreciably
lengthen the average duration of life, and
although without more sufficient data it would
be incautious to make extravagant claims, it
seemed to him by no means improbable that
death might in the end be conquered, or at least
indefinitely postponed. The science was as yet
embryonic, and until the general interest of the
world in its development had been awakened,
investigation in order to be trustworthy must
needs be slow.
Treating the subject in detail, he applied his
theory to various departments of life. His own
investigations he alleged to be still very incomplete,
and in this first volume he had only
touched upon two subdivisions,—conversation
and love, the presentation of his ideas regarding
which were contained in the essays already
spoken of, "The Economy of Speech," and "The
Equipoise of Passion." In the first named of
these he laid down as a broad general statement
that some people talk too much and others too
little. Here, as in other functions, either extreme
was disastrous. Prolixity of speech produced
avoidance of the offender, and silence tended to
syncope of the language. The causes of either
fault were in his opinion far to seek, and lay less
in the nature of the individual than in the essence
of orthography and diction. Tautology
was the blemish of written and vocal speech.
Too many symbols were used to express an
idea, and nothing was left to the imagination of
the reader or hearer. Redundancy of expression
was the vade mecum of the bore, and on the
other hand there was no reason to believe that
the sound of their own words was the cause why
many people were so silent. It was common to
hear that a man was afraid to hear himself talk.
By reducing therefore the signs of speech, a
stimulus would be given to the reserved and
a curb imposed upon the verbose.
The primary principle employed to effect this
was ellipsis, but an accurate understanding of
the intelligence of the hearer was requisite in
order to become proficient. The alphabet was
not disturbed or abbreviated. The radical
change was in the dismemberment of sentences.
And here it was obvious that a greater number
of words could be omitted without destroying
the sense with a clever listener than with a dull
person. His statistics showed that two individuals
thoroughly conversant with the system
could discourse rationally upon intricate topics
by the use of single words and even single monosyllables
in place of entire sentences; and this
led him to believe that as the race grew in intelligence,
speech would finally become a rudimentary
organ and cease to be. Nor was this
inconsistent with his general theory; for in his
opinion the gradual tendency of all mere physical
attributes was to coalesce with mind. In an
analogous way the time would come when mankind
instead of eating too much or too little would
not eat at all. But the first stage in this gradual
evolution must be a repression of extremes resulting
in moderation. It was to effect a recognition
of this that his labors were directed.
I expected to be even more interested in the
essay on "The Equipoise of Passion," remembering
the intense character of his amatory
verse. But the philosophical terms were so
numerous that I found myself at a loss as to his
meaning at times. His treatment of the subject
was quite different; for whereas (he explained)
speech was a physical attribute and destined to
give place to some other method of affinity,
love was psychical in its essence, and hence
immortal. But he maintained that moderation
should control spirit no less than matter, and
that either undue exaltation or a lack of sentiment
were inconsistent with the noblest type
of altruism.
Love in order to be perfect must be rational
and cognizant, as he expressed it. The beloved
object should be enthroned, but without exaggeration,
and yet with ecstasy. The defect of
love as it at present existed was that it was
either an hallucination or a bargain. This
should not be; but on the other hand the equipoise
of passion like the equipoise of religion,—of
which it was in his opinion the peer, and with
which it was in a certain sense blended,—was
attainable only by exceptional souls. The equipoise
of speech or of raiment or of appetite was
within the grasp of an average human being,
but only a few spirits in a generation enjoyed
the perfection of love. This was the crown of
his philosophy; but it was here that he felt the
need of further investigation before endeavoring
to demonstrate the remedy by means of
which this number might be increased, so as
finally to include all earnest souls. An immature
statement would impair the authority of
the more elemental truth he had sought to
establish; but he hoped in a subsequent volume
to complete the exposition of this last step in
his system.
I rapped at Miss Kingsley's door on Wednesday
evening with some trepidation, but with
a sense of pleasurable excitement. I felt that
her entertainment was sure to be very unlike
those to which I was accustomed. In the first
place, the idea of combining home and business
quarters in one apartment was new to me, and
seemed slightly incongruous. The Studio Building
was large, and she had doubtless a host of
neighbors who lived in the same manner; but
they were a class with whom I was wholly unacquainted.
Miss Kingsley's rooms were in the
top story where, as I reflected, she could enjoy
fresh air and escape the everlasting tinkling of
the horse-cars and rattle of vehicles in the street
below.
She opened the door herself, and her face
assumed its most radiant expression as she
recognized me.
"This is too delightful, Miss Harlan!"
I found myself face to face with several
people whom she hastened to introduce. The
only familiar name was that of Mr. Paul Barr,
which I instantly recollected to have seen on
the dedicatory page of Mr. Spence's volume of
poems. The inscription read, "To my soul's
brother, Paul Barr," and hence I gazed at the
stranger with interest.
From Mr. Barr I got the impression of a
handsome but dishevelled looking man of large
stature, with a coal-black beard and dark piercing
eyes, which he bent upon me ardently as he
bowed his figure in what might well be styled
a profound and lavish obeisance. He wore a
velveteen coat and a large cherry neck-tie, the
flowing ends of which added to his general
air of disorder. The other names—to which
I gave slight heed, for their owners were not
especially significant in appearance—were Mr.
Fleisch, a short, small German with eye-glasses,
and Mrs. Marsh, a fat, genial matron of five-and-forty.
All this I took in at a glance, for Miss Kingsley
conducted me immediately into her boudoir
(as she called it), to lay aside my wraps.
"Has he not soulful eyes?" she asked.
"Who?" said I, though I knew to whom she
must refer.
"Mr. Barr."
"What is he?" said I.
"A Bohemian, dear," she replied in a tone of
satisfaction.
"Really?"
I had long wished to meet a member of that
mysterious brotherhood, of which of course I
had heard and read.
"Yes. He is a poet-painter, and a great
friend of Mr. Spence. Have you never seen
his pictures? Even Mr. Spence admits that
they possess the abandon of genius, although he
disapproves of abandon. Their views to-day are
totally dissimilar, but yet their friendship is sympathetic
as ever. Is it not inspiring?"
"Mr. Spence is coming, I hope?"
"Oh, yes. I expect him every moment, and I
have made Mr. Barr promise to get him to give
us an exposition. Not knowing how you might
feel, Virginia (may I call you Virginia? It seems
so much more natural after having heard your
aunt always speak of you in that way. Thank
you, dear. And if you will call me Lucretia, I
shall feel much flattered),—not knowing how
you might feel about coming where there was
no matron, I asked Mrs. Marsh to join us. We
do not regard it of importance, and you will not
a little later; but just at first it is perhaps as
well. Do you know Mr. Fleisch by reputation?
He plays with an artistic charm, rare even in this
musical epoch. He is a follower of Mr. Spence,
and is seeking to apply his principles of moderation
to music with striking success. Ah! you
must excuse me, dear, it is his knock."
I understood that she referred to Mr. Spence,
and I waited an instant to put a finishing touch
to my toilet before following her into the other
room. For I had still something of the old
Adam, or rather of the old Eve, left in me; so
that I must confess my eagerness for culture
was not without a spice of coquetry, half unconscious
though it were.
Mr. Spence from his appearance was fairly
entitled to be called a moderationist. He had
nothing of the splendid savagery of Mr. Paul
Barr, whose luxuriant and matted head of hair
now struck my attention, nor the student-like
insignificance of Mr. Fleisch. He was neither
tall nor short, stout nor inadequately spare;
and he was in evening dress like anybody else.
Had I met him without knowing who he was,
I should never have imagined him a celebrity.
This was my first impression, but a second
look at his face revealed firm though thin
lips, and small nervous eyes that were full of
fire when in movement. It was not however
until I heard him speak that I recovered from
my disappointment. "Be it so," was all he said
in reply to some remark addressed to him; but
the enunciation of the words was so musical,
so soft and winning, yet so clear and authoritative,
that I was spell-bound for an instant and
quite lost my composure as Miss Kingsley,
becoming aware of my presence, proceeded to
make us acquainted.
The backs of all the company except Mr.
Spence had been turned to me, for Mr. Barr was
fulfilling his promise of persuading his friend to
introduce his system of speech as the order of the
evening. The ecstatic expression of Miss Kingsley's
face, as well as the few words I had heard
him utter, were sufficient to show that he had
been successful; but winking her eyes more
rapidly than ever she whispered in my ear
with an imitation as I thought of her master's
style,—
"It is to be."
Almost immediately Mr. Spence, whose bow
I had thought rather formal and like that of the
rest of the world, came up to me and said:—
"Welcome, Miss Harlan, to our circle. I
know your aunt,—a massive woman intellectually,
and my benefactor. As I think our
hostess has already intimated to you, it is the
wish of some of the company that I should
give a practical illustration of certain views regarding
the essence of speech peculiar to me,
of which it may be you have heard from your
kinswoman or others, and which are a corollary
of the general truth or virtue known to the outside
world as moderation. I have, however,
some delicacy in inflicting so great an incubus—for
it must seem such to the uninitiated—upon
one who like you is of the beau monde and
used to its smooth ways. I speak knowingly,
for I too in my day belonged to the beau monde,
and am familiar with the easy, however volatile,
flow of speech incident thereto."
"Do not mind me, I pray," said I. "Indeed,
I have read your essays as well as your poems,
Mr. Spence, and am very anxious to understand
your system practically."
"Be it so," he replied. "I did not wish to inflict
myself unduly. Art should be sensitive.
Do you not agree with me, Miss Harlan?"
"How exquisite!" I heard Miss Kingsley
whisper to Mr. Fleisch, with whom she was
standing a few feet distant gazing at the
master.
It was Mr. Paul Barr who answered the question
for me:—
"No, Miss Harlan, Art should be aggressive;
Art should be ardent. I do not agree with
Mr. Spence. In fact, we never agree upon any
subject. But we are friends, life-long, bosom
friends. Shake, Charles, shake! we have not
given the grip and pressure of amity to-night."
He spoke in a deep, sonorous base, and extended
to his friend a hirsute hand.
"It is true we belong to different schools, Mr.
Barr and I, Miss Harlan," said Mr. Spence.
"He believes in the supremacy of the untrammelled,
as his poems and pictures show; I, on
the contrary, give my voice to equipoise. But,
as he has well said, we are devoted friends."
"You shall judge between us," continued
Paul Barr addressing me. "Which is better, the
free undulation of self, or eternal tension?"
"A fine antithesis," murmured Miss Kingsley.
"Mein Gott! but it is not true, that free
undulation of self. It deceives, it deludes:
it is a—what word is it I am seeking?—a—eh—I
have it,—boomerang,—a boomerang
that plagues the inventor," said Mr.
Fleisch.
"Refuted, well refuted!" said Mr. Spence.
"Fleisch has hit the mark. The overmuch is
indeed a boomerang. Thanks, Bernard, for the
epigram," he added, turning to the little German.
Everybody clapped their hands except myself
and Mr. Barr. I preferred to remain neutral.
As for the artist, he stood stroking his beard
fiercely with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.
At this moment the door opened, and a maidservant
announced tea.
Mr. Spence looked at Miss Kingsley interrogatively.
"From this moment, please," said she.
He shrugged his shoulders and sighed; and
as we walked in to tea together Miss Kingsley
whispered that he was about to practise
his theory.
"Of course, Virginia dear, every one will understand
that you are a novice, and you will be
at liberty to talk in your natural manner. The
rest of us are expected to assist Mr. Spence as
far as possible. I am all in a flutter; I know I
shall break down."
The room in which we took tea was a veritable
snuggery. The servant found it difficult
to get round the table, and there was a strong
smell of the frying-pan owing to the vicinity
of the tiny kitchen. But these inconveniences,
if they were so to be called, merely added to my
zest and enjoyment. Here, indeed, was agreeable
and talented society! Aunt Agnes was
right,—my associates hitherto had been frivolous
and volatile. The world of fashion was a
sham. What a contrast,—I could not help
making it,—between the insipid speeches of
my former friends and the clever talk of this
purely literary circle, where ideas and scholarship
were recognized and crowned.
Mr. Spence and Mr Barr sat on either side of
Miss Kingsley, and I glanced from the one to the
other, debating with myself whether I preferred
the bold strong beauty of the artist, or the subtile
and more delicate traits of feature of the philosopher.
For though I had begun by regarding Mr.
Spence almost as commonplace in appearance,
the earnestness of his manner and the serious
fervor of his eyes gave him an expression of having
a deep and genuine belief in his own theories,
which when compared with the impetuous but
more volatile air of Paul Barr commended him
to my respect and admiration even while I was
flattered by the gallantries of his rival.
It was Mr. Barr who first broke the silence
after we sat down to table, by asking me if I had
not passed the summer at Tinker's Reach. As
he spoke in the ordinary guise, I was surprised
until it occurred to me that as a member of
another school he could hardly be expected,
even from courtesy or friendship, to practise
doctrines to which he could not subscribe.
"Yes," said I.
"Malaria," began Mr. Spence.
There was a little murmur of expectation, and
Mr. Fleisch brimming over with excitement
said, "Bad drainage."
"No excuse. Sea near. Inhabitants should
agitate question," continued Mr. Spence.
"Everybody appearance of health notwithstanding,"
exclaimed Miss Kingsley.
"Overmuch ozone," said Mr. Spence.
"Unhealthy stimulus. Reaction later," added
the little German.
"Are we clear? Air of Tinker's Reach you
know; so clever," whispered Miss Kingsley
leaning toward me behind Mr. Spence's chair.
"Sure I shall break down."
I nodded to give her encouragement. All
this was somewhat bewildering, but I was able
to follow the conversation. I was conscious too
of Mr. Barr's eyes fixed upon me with intensity.
He would eat hurriedly for a moment, and then
fold his arms and listen with his brow almost
buried in his black bristly beard, and his glance
centred on me.
The talk went on briskly. Mrs. Marsh presently
joined in; and after the discussion of the
atmospheric conditions of Tinker's Reach was
exhausted, a criticism of a recent volume of
poetry followed, in which Mr. Fleisch and Mrs.
Marsh took sides against the other two. At
times I lost the thread of the argument, but
for the most part I understood them perfectly.
Mr. Spence was by far the most proficient. It
was wonderful how he was able to express frequently
in a single word the idea of an entire
sentence. I listened with eager and increasing
interest. Every now and then Mr. Barr interrupted
the conversation with a torrent of words,
sometimes by way of soliloquizing comment on
the views expressed, and occasionally addressed
to me. In the latter case I always put my fingers
on my lips and smiled, a course which had
the effect of silencing him for the time being.
Meanwhile everybody ate with appetite of the
good things provided; and the artist-poet, as
though to show his contempt for the doctrines
of moderation, helped himself again and again
from a crystal pitcher of claret-cup that was at
his elbow.
Of a sudden, to my great consternation, Mr.
Spence looked directly at me and said,—
"Paris?"
All my ideas seemed to desert me on the
spot. But by a rapid inspiration I shook my
head and said,—
"Never."
"There. During Commune," continued my
interrogator, and I saw from Miss Kingsley's
radiant and encouraging smile and nod that
I had been right in my assumption that he
wished to know if I had ever been there.
"Really!" I said, emboldened.
"Grisly," said he.
"Cat!" almost hissed Mr. Fleisch in his
excitement.
"Dog!" said Mrs. Marsh.
"Horse!" exclaimed Miss Kingsley.
Fortunately I recalled what Miss Kingsley
had told me regarding Mr. Spence's early experiences
in search of extremes, so that I was not
as nonplussed as might perhaps have been expected
by these ejaculations.
"Gruesome!" I said, with a determination to
acquit myself creditably.
"Unsympathetic!" added Miss Kingsley,
rather unnecessarily as I thought.
"Not so bad. Lived on them for days," said
Mr. Spence, still addressing me. "Time of my
novitiate."
"Where self undulates freely there is no novitiate,
for all is allowable," exclaimed Paul Barr
fiercely; and he filled another goblet. I almost
felt afraid of his gaze, it had become so intense
and ardent. I tried not to look in his direction,
though there was an originality and fascination
about him that made it next to impossible not
to steal an occasional glance across the table.
Mr. Spence held up his hand deprecatingly
in answer to his friend's tirade, while little
Fleisch like a trusty retainer exclaimed once
more with fierceness,—
"Boomerang!"
Mr. Spence again turned to me, "Worse;
night in tomb!"
"Beside corpse!" explained Mr. Fleisch.
The ladies shivered.
"Trifle," murmured Mr. Spence.
"Extremity of doleful comprehension!" said
Miss Kingsley.
I felt that my opportunity had come. Carried
away as I was by the interest and excitement
of the proceedings, I repeated from
memory, without embarrassment, the first five
lines of Mr. Spence's poem entitled "A Fragment
(written after a night passed in the
grave)."
"I lay a living soul within the tomb,—
A ghastly cabin damp with church-yard loam,
Where worms are rampant and where night enthrones
Darkness and horror, dust, decay, and bones;
Extremity of doleful comprehension."
There was a murmur of applause.
"Exquisitely apposite!" cried Mr. Fleisch,
and for the first time he surveyed me through
his eye-glass with evident interest.
Mr. Spence bent forward in acknowledgement
of the quotation. Mrs. Marsh repeated after
her neighbor,—
"Exquisitely apposite!"
"A fine passage and finely rendered," said
Paul Barr; and he sighed (though it was not
obvious why), and emptied his glass.
I glanced at my hostess. To my surprise she
was examining a tea-cup, and as she looked up
I saw that her face was no longer radiant. Our
eyes met, and in an instant the truth flashed
upon me. She was jealous! Without design I
had too much absorbed the attention of the lion
of the evening. Or was it Paul Barr's glances
that I had estranged?
For a moment I was both confounded and regretful,
but in the next I had decided that her
resentment, if it were real, was unjustifiable.
Any success I had won was unpremeditated,
and there was no reason why I should be otherwise
than natural, or decline to use to the best
advantage the talents which Heaven had given
me. It was Mr. Spence undoubtedly whom my
hostess considered her especial property. She
would have earlier indicated her disapproval had
the artist-poet been the offender, for his glances
had been unmistakable in their direction from
the first. I felt in no wise to blame. It was not
my intention or ambition to captivate either of
these literary gentry; but if in my endeavors to
appreciate and sympathize with their thoughts
and theories I had been able to win their regard,
was it for me to heed the envy of one who
grudged me this trifling tribute to my enthusiasm?
Assuredly not. Therefore I resolved to
act exactly as if I were unconscious of Miss
Kingsley's disapprobation.
I was aroused from these reflections by hearing
Mr. Fleisch call me by name. He informed
me in the curtailed speech we were using that
he had set to music the words of the poem from
which I had quoted, and that after tea he would,
with the permission of the company, play it to
us. From him and Mr. Spence conjointly I
then learned that he had followed out the principles
of moderation in a number of original
productions. Most musical scores were too long,
he said,—just as many people talked too much,—and
he was seeking to popularize even classical
works by abbreviating them, after the fashion
adopted by Mr. Spence in regard to conversation.
In this manner formidable pieces, like
oratorios and symphonies, could be made congenial
and instructive to those who usually found
them tedious. In music as in literature the idea
was the main consideration, and in Mr. Fleisch's
opinion the vehicle by which it was conveyed
should be as little cumbersome as possible.
Acting on this principle, he had in one instance
reduced an entire symphony to eight chords
without destroying the charm. In music compression
was possible to a greater extent, he
believed, than in any other art.
While Mr. Fleisch and Mr. Spence were devoting
their attention to making this new offshoot
of the system clear to me, I was occasionally distracted
by the behavior of Miss Kingsley, who
was audibly using my name in the course of a
whispered colloquy with Mr. Barr. The artist's
eyes still never strayed from my face, but his ear
was open to his neighbor's confidences; and I
could gather—for it is difficult to avoid listening
where one is the subject of conversation—that
she was representing me as belonging to the
world of fashion, and present merely upon sufferance.
I noticed too that, curiously enough,
Mr. Spence seemed attracted by the sound of
my name, and would now and then secretly lend
an ear to what was being said upon his other
side. In fact I soon made up my mind that
it was for his benefit Miss Kingsley was talking.
She hoped to undermine my influence by an
unflattering description of my doings in society.
It was doubtless her cue to make her guests
regard me as a frivolous character.
Naturally I was indignant, and my pride was
aroused. To be sure I was in her debt for
the opportunity she had given me of meeting
these literary friends, but that gave her no
license to misrepresent me, in a light which
in my present humor was the most distasteful
she could have selected. Under the spur of
pique I redoubled my graciousness toward
Mr. Spence and Mr. Fleisch, and likewise
watched my opportunity to court the artist
with a smile, whereupon he sighed again and
reached out his hand for the crystal pitcher;
but it was empty.
Miss Kingsley, however, was not one to quit
the field without a struggle. So successful were
my efforts that she was forced to sit silent and
with a smile on her lip, from her obligations as
a hostess; but I knew she was preparing a
revenge.
It came sooner than I expected. Taking advantage
of a pause in the conversation, caused
by Mr. Spence leaning forward to explain to
me on paper the rudiments of an attempt he
had been making to apply the principles of
the Economy of Speech to arithmetical problems,
she whispered in an aside to Paul Barr,
but so loud as to be audible to every one at
table,—
"Three millions at least."
Impertinent as this reference to my worldly
prospects was, I should not have regarded it as
of importance but for the strange behavior of
Mr. Spence, whose hand at the announcement
shook in writing like an aspen leaf. He looked
up at me with an expression of mingled pain
and inquiry, which was so completely earnest
that my own eyes drooped on meeting his. An
embarrassing silence ensued for an instant, and
then with a bound Paul Barr rose from his chair,
and flinging himself down before the piano began
to dash off a wild, exuberant production
that suggested the lawless but triumphant pæan
of some heathen divinity.
As we returned to the other room I felt instinctively
that my prestige with Mr. Spence
had been impaired by the whisper of Miss
Kingsley. His attentions ceased, and as a consequence
Mr. Fleisch also neglected me. I
took a seat on the sofa by the side of Mrs.
Marsh. In an opposite corner my rival and the
two moderationists were examining a manuscript
without apparent consciousness of my
existence. The sudden transposition of affairs
made me sensitive. Paul Barr still sat at the
piano executing his delirious fantasy, and ever
and anon looking back over his shoulder at
me. He at least was faithful. But it was not
admiration I sought. I wished for respect for
my intelligence, and to be considered a promising
proselyte of culture. I seemed a few
moments ago to have won this recognition
from the entire company, and now I was an
outcast.
As fortune would have it, the mystery was
explained a few minutes later through the
efficacy of Mrs. Marsh. We entered into conversation,
and almost immediately she volunteered
certain details regarding Miss Kingsley,
brought about primarily by my inquiring her
age.
"How old? Lucretia Kingsley will never
see thirty again, no matter how hard she tries
to look younger. She's a fine-appearing girl
though, and a stylish dresser. She makes a
pretty penny, I understand, out of the work she
does for the newspapers. Folks say,"—here she
lowered her voice; and let it be added at the
same time that I felt some compunctions at her
not continuing to use the economic system, but
in my interest to learn her secret I was weak
enough to let her go on,—"folks say that she
and Mr. Spence will hit it off together some
day. I guess she's thrifty, too, when she's not
at her books. Did you notice how worked up
he was when your three millions were spoken
of? I could see he'd taken a fancy to you, but
when that came out he had to drop you like a
hot cake."
"What do you mean?" I asked, too much
astonished to be upset by her colloquial style.
"It's the only part of his philosophy that I
don't altogether take to, for it doesn't seem
quite natural to me to turn one's back on what
Heaven sends in the way of income. I'm an
out-and-out convert to his doctrines into the
bargain. I used to believe in having a good
time, and all that sort of nonsense; but I've
come to see that what he calls equipoise is the
true road to happiness, and that it's best to
leave off a bit hungry if you want to live to a
green old age. I suppose you've heard his
lecture on 'Overeating and Undereating'? If
you haven't, don't fail to go the next time he
delivers it. There's more good sound medicine
in two sentences of that than in all the apothecary
shops in creation. I went to hear him by
accident too, for I'm not partial to lectures as a
rule. I had the dyspepsia bad, and had spent
more money on physic and the doctors than it
would take to support Mr. Spence for the rest
of his born days. They all wanted one of two
things,—either that I should stuff myself or
starve myself. One was for having me eat
every five minutes, and the next made me
weigh everything that went into my stomach.
But Mr. Spence took the bull by the horns
when he said, 'Some people eat too much,
and some eat too little. Preserve a happy
medium!' And that's what I've been doing
ever since, and the consequence is I could eat
nails if I was pressed hard."
"But eating is quite a different thing from
income," she continued, relieving at last my
impatience; "and I can't see the sense of his
idea that people shouldn't keep more than just
enough money to live on. It's a part of his
system, as he calls it, I know; and if he says
that human nature would be better with less, I
am not the one to gainsay him, for there's no
young man of his years in the city smarter than
Mr. Spence, and he may be right. I can say,
though, that before this it has stood in the way
of his marrying. Only two years ago there was
a young lady from New York just crazy to get
him. She was real elegant too, and folks say
he fancied her. But she was very rich, just as
you are; and she wasn't willing—and I don't
blame her either—to give up every blessed
cent because he wanted her to. But he is bent
on carrying his principles of moderation into
daily practice, and there's no use in resisting
him. It's rare he takes a liking so strong as he
took to you to-night, and perhaps it was best
for both of you that the truth came out when
it did."
"Very much," I answered in a dazed tone.
Mrs. Marsh's confidences had mystified me
more than ever. Of course I could no longer
doubt Miss Kingsley's jealousy; but it was not
equally apparent to me why Mr. Spence should
have felt obliged to change his behavior so
precipitately because of my wealth. Surely he
could tolerate even if he did not advocate the
possession of riches. I was young, and had
much to learn. It was possible that when I came
to hear his arguments, I might be convinced and
ready to sacrifice my prospects of a large income
to the demands of a noble philosophy. If it
were a question of marriage, I could readily
understand his insisting that his bride should
comply with his views in this respect. But I was
merely a guest of Miss Kingsley, an acquaintance
whom he might never see again. His
conduct seemed to me irrational and strange.
I could not believe that he had cast me off
because of an unwillingness to offend his hostess,
for he had appeared wholly absorbed in
my presence until her impertinent speech in
regard to my property had put an abrupt end
to his complaisance.
Meanwhile Mr. Barr had finished his pæan
and seated himself near me. There was no mistaking
the glances he cast, and out of respect
to myself I chose to exhibit some coldness of
manner in response to his remarks, which were
an ardent defence of passion and what he called
verve in music, literature, and art. Keen enjoyment,
he said, was never to be found in restraint;
and if extremes tended to shorten
human life, a short existence crowned with
pleasure was preferable to four-score and ten
years of dull uniformity. The giant trees of
the forest, the reddest roses of the garden, and
the fairest faces in Christendom must be frowned
on as noxious if the doctrine of moderation was
to prevail. For were not they extremes? Yet
rob the world of them, and where would a recompense
be found for their loss? In ordinary
growths, in the every-day rose, in commonplace
beauty? Heaven forbid! and he pulled
at his beard, and his fine eyes flashed in the
fulness of his excitement.
Mrs. Marsh looked shocked, and took up the
cudgels against him in defence of the opposite
principles, so that I was able to keep silent and
wonder. He would fain deify passion, he said;
and there were two passions which no human
agency could stem or curb,—the passion for
wealth, and the passion of love. Thereat he
looked at me again, with so much eloquence
of expression that I had to blush and turn my
head away.
Then the little German, Mr. Fleisch, sat down
at the piano and performed a series of pieces in
illustration of what he had explained to me,
including a sonata in four bars, a symphony
in three chords, and a song without words, in
paraphrase of Mr. Spence's "fragment" in
celebration of a night passed in the tomb. I
was so thrilled and delighted by these selections
that I quite forgot my perplexities, and
revelled in the enjoyment of these new-found
theories. Presently too Miss Kingsley came
over to sit by me, radiant and expressive as
before. The coolness on her part had completely
vanished, and needless to say my heart
felt lighter.
Resolving to be natural and to obtain as
much benefit as possible from an opportunity
that I might never have again, I moved about
the room and managed to renew my conversation
with Mr. Fleisch, who after a momentary
coldness seemed gratified at my expressions of
interest in his musical ideas. We recommenced
the Economic system of speech, and presently
were joined by Miss Kingsley. I rapidly grew
proficient; and so absorbed did I become in
an attempt made by us three to carry on connectedly
an entire conversation in single words,
that I was startled at hearing a voice just
behind me say,—
"Carriage."
I turned, and found myself face to face with
Mr. Spence. I understood that he had come
to announce to me the arrival of my coupé.
"Servant," he added.
This told me that my maid was waiting at the
door.
Mr. Spence's face was courteous but grave,
and his lips were firmly set. During the time
of my conversation with Mr. Fleisch and Miss
Kingsley he had been sitting apart with Mrs.
Marsh, while Paul Barr had returned to the
piano and played a series of passionate and
ardent music, the words of which he sung in
a deep bass. But at the knock of my maid
he paused, and now sat looking back over his
shoulder at me with pathetic eyes.
"Home," I said to my hostess.
"Early."
"Horses."
"Sorry."
Her face expressed the regret at my departure
which it seemed to me any extra words would
have impaired the artistic value of, so much of
a convert to the views regarding moderation
had I become.
Miss Kingsley produced my wraps from her
boudoir, which Paul Barr with a brace of sighs
assisted me to put on. I bade good evening to
them all. Mr. Spence made me a low but formal
bow. I could see his lip tremble. The
instant after, as with Paul Barr at my side I
began to descend the stairs, a hurried step
behind told me that the master was coming
also. I went down to my carriage with one on
either hand, the artist-poet pouring out a flood
of words which I scarcely heeded, while Mr.
Spence in an occasional monosyllable endeavored
to express the hope that he might meet
me again.
Just as I reached the threshold a superb rose,
which had been the only ornament of my costume,
chanced to fall from my corsage on the
marble floor. It lay nearest to Mr. Spence,
who started to pick it up. But he hesitated,
and the consequent delay was taken advantage
of by his rival, who had darted forward
at the same moment. Mr. Barr lifted the
rose and pressed it to his lips eagerly, twice
and thrice. Then, without asking my leave, he
put it in his button-hole. It was he too who
helped me into my carriage. He bent low
over the hand I gave him, while Mr. Spence,
still irresolute, bowed from the shadow of the
door-way.
"May I have the honor of calling upon you?"
asked Paul Barr.
"Certainly, if you wish. And, Mr. Spence,
I shall be very glad to see you also," I cried
from the carriage window.
I felt next morning a little as if my experience
of the previous night were a dream.
But as I thought over all that had occurred,
what may be called the romantic features seemed
to dwindle in distinctness and importance, and
I dwelt chiefly on the mental profit I had derived
from these new associations. Once more
I deplored the existence of the vain and coquettish
notions that had led me to construe as devotion
the enthusiasm of the clever men who
had honored me with an explanation of their
original and interesting conceptions. It was
clear that I was still not wholly free from
flippancy and nonsense.
I did not attempt to decide between the
merits of the diametrically opposed schools of
thought represented by Mr. Spence and Mr.
Barr. I was sensible enough to understand that
long study and reflection would be requisite to
qualify me to take sides intelligently. But yet
I had already a distinct preference. I felt that
whatever the value of his system, Mr. Spence
was thoroughly and grandly in earnest. His
whole soul was in the spread and development
of his peculiar doctrines. To obtain their recognition
he was willing to sacrifice luxury, comfort,
and all the pleasures of life. Everything else
was a secondary consideration. Already in the
course of his thorough investigations he had
endured horrors and committed extravagances
from which a nature so palpably refined as his
must have shrunk with loathing. It was novel
and delightful to me to meet a man so completely
absorbed in a pursuit which promised
no reward beyond the amelioration of society,—a
result of which he could hope to live to see
only the beginnings. For mere dollars and
cents he cared nothing. He had no ambition to
grow rich; indeed, it was one of his tenets that
no one should retain more than a certain amount
of property,—doubtless enough to keep the
wolf from the door, and to permit the continuation
of scholarship. How much more unselfish
and ennobling a life than that of the feverish
money-getter, with all his appliances of forge and
factory, and export and import! I had found
an answer to my yearnings and my unrest in
this untiring devotion to abstract truth.
A part of this was true undoubtedly of Paul
Barr as well. Ardor and zeal were the very essence
of his philosophy; but it was easy to divine
by looking at him—at least it appeared so to me—that
he lacked the spirit of persistent, unselfish
scholarship which distinguished his rival. I felt
that he was superficial, and that he would rather
sacrifice his principles than his own interests.
All the more did I have faith in this instinctive
preference for Mr. Spence, from the fact that
from the standpoint of the picturesque and romantic
everything was on the side of the artist-poet.
Tall, dashing, handsome, and brilliant, he
was adapted and doubtless accustomed to carry
hearts by storm. No woman could receive his
admiring glances without that slight thrill and
flutter of the heart which proves the presence of
a fascinating man. On the other hand the master—I
liked to think of him as such—was, as
I have already intimated, commonplace in appearance
at the first glance, and save for his marvellous
voice distinguished for none of those
graces which attract my sex. Perhaps it would
be more just to say that he sought to repress
them rather than that they did not exist, for
when under the influence of enthusiasm for his
science his face was inspiring to look upon.
Such were the conclusions at which I arrived
after sifting my impressions. But never did my
incapacity and dearth of knowledge appear to
me in a less complimentary light than at this
time. I vowed again and again to give myself
up unreservedly to study, and first of all to
choose some special branch that would prevent
my efforts from resulting in merely desultory
work. If so, what better field could I choose
than that in which there were fellow-workers
already whom I knew, and with whom I could
sympathize? The more I thought about the
subject the stronger did the argument in favor
of this selection appear. At last one morning
in an access of enthusiasm I sat down and
wrote a note to Mr. Spence, asking if he would
be kind enough to call on me at his leisure,—"on
a matter of business," I added, so as to
preclude any possible misinterpretation on his
part.
This was about a week after Miss Kingsley's
tea. In the mean time I had been to see Aunt
Agnes twice, but had not found her at home. I
was curious to hear what Miss Kingsley would say
concerning me, for I felt by no means sure that
her remarks would be wholly complimentary.
Freely as I blamed myself for my conceited
notions at the time, regarding the attentions of
the two philosophers, I was not ready to absolve
her from the imputation of jealousy. It was
difficult to explain her conduct on any other
ground, and I remembered what Mrs. Marsh had
said as to tender relations between her and Mr.
Spence. Indeed, I felt some irritation against
her and a conviction that she was not likely to
be altogether my friend when we were not face
to face. However, she had chosen to insert my
name in the next issue of the "Mercury" as
having been present at a small gathering at her
"parlors" to meet "the distinguished scientist
and poet, Charles Liversage Spence,"—a notice
which she doubtless considered "sympathetic."
I stayed at home the whole of the day following
that on which I wrote to Mr. Spence, and
was rewarded by receiving a visit from him in
the afternoon. He seemed little at his ease
when he entered the room, and I observed a
number of details of dress and manner which
showed that he was not versed in the usages of
fashionable life despite his early experiences.
These lapses, or rather differences, did not affect
me disagreeably,—indeed, I was well content
that he should be as unlike as possible the flippant
youths of so-called society,—but they were
much more noticeable than when he was in the
midst of such artistic surroundings as he found
at Miss Kingsley's.
I judged it best to enter at once on the matter
I had at heart.
"You will pardon me I am sure, Mr. Spence,
for taking up your valuable time, when I tell you
my reason for asking you to call upon me. I
will be frank, and say that I have been for some
time anxious to find an interest to which I could
devote myself thoroughly and systematically,
and one that was wholly in sympathy with what
I feel to be my tastes and aspirations. I have a
great deal of time at my disposal, and have become
weary of the amusements of society and of
the merely superficial character of my studies
hitherto. The exercises to which I had the good
fortune to listen at Miss Kingsley's the other
evening were almost a revelation to me. They
confirmed at least the opinion I had begun to
have, that outside of what the world calls fashionable
circles there is a class of people who
like yourself find their happiness in intellectual
aims and pleasures. So much interested was I
by what I heard then, that I have decided, after
some hesitation on the score of troubling you,
to offer myself as a student of your system of
Moderation. It may be," I added, speaking
hurriedly in my desire to put the matter clearly
before him, and yet not to be prolix, "you do
not care for the co-operation of persons so little
advanced as I; for I tell you honestly that though
tolerably proficient in what are known as accomplishments,
I am ignorant of all that appertains
to serious knowledge. But believe me when I
say that I am thoroughly in earnest, and will devote
myself to the cause with all my heart, in
case you think me able to be of assistance."
Mr. Spence heard me to the end without interruption.
I had looked straight before me,
intent alone upon presenting my case in such a
light that while he knew the worst, he would not
reject my request to become one of his pupils.
Nor did he reply at once. I glanced at him,
and saw that he was blushing; but he mastered
his confusion, and said quietly:—
"Miss Harlan, I have received few compliments
in my life more acceptable than that
comprised in what you have just said to me.
It is precisely to such alert and reflective minds
as yours that I wish to make my theories interesting.
I am devoting the sum of my energies
to the propagation of what I regard as a truth
vital to the well-being of humanity. You know
the leading features of my system already. I
will not disguise from you that an advocacy of
them will expose you to publicity, it may be to
ridicule. Our converts are as yet few; and in
order to be of service, those who devote themselves
to the work must be enthusiastic. I do
not say this because I doubt your sincerity or
steadfastness; probably you have considered
these things already. But it is right that you
should be fully informed regarding the character
of the cause you propose to adopt."
"But I may decide not to adopt it in the end,
Mr. Spence," I said, not wishing to commit myself
irrevocably. "I am very much interested
in your ideas, but I should prefer to be accepted
merely as a student until I am more familiar
with them. As I have said, I am very ignorant
of all such matters, and need instruction. I
have spoken to you rather to ask your advice
as to whom to select as a teacher, than to offer
myself as an active convert. The rest will come
in time, I have no doubt, for I am greatly attracted
by what I have heard already."
"I see. You are right," said he. "Precipitation
is directly opposed to the spirit of my
theories. I should have said you were already
qualified to become an active worker, but you
are the best judge: and, as you have mentioned,
you will be able to become familiar with the
system at your leisure."
He paused, and seemed to be absorbed in
thought, as though he were debating with himself.
"Do you know of any good teacher?" I
inquired.
"I am reflecting."
"I should expect to pay any competent person
liberally."
He flushed a little, and after an instant said:
"I thought at first that I might see my way to
offering myself as an instructor, but on reflection
I find it would be difficult for me to find
time. I know of no better persons to suggest
than one of our friends of the other evening,—Mr.
Fleisch or Miss Kingsley. Either of them
is admirably well informed and intelligent."
"Oh, but if you could arrange it so, I should
much prefer you, Mr. Spence," I exclaimed with
genuine eagerness. "I did not dare to imagine
that such an arrangement was possible. But
now that you have suggested it yourself, I cannot
give up the idea without remonstrance."
I looked at him beseechingly, and he blushed
again in a manner to cause me self-consciousness.
He hesitated, and then in a decided tone, as if
he were resisting a temptation, said:—
"It is out of the question, Miss Harlan. I
have not time. Mr. Fleisch is an excellent instructor."
"Very well; Mr. Fleisch then," I answered, a
little upset by his confusion. "Will you speak
to him about it and arrange the terms?"
He assented, and the awkward pause that
followed was relieved by the entrance, at the
same moment, of Aunt Helen and Mr. Barr,
though not in company it need scarcely be
added.
Aunt Helen was in one of her richest and
most imposing street costumes, whereas the
artist-poet wore black velveteen instead of
brown, and a flowing yellow tie instead of a
cherry one. She regarded him, I could see,
with a mixture of horror and wonder, which
led me at once to perform the duties of a general
introduction, preliminary to taking possession
of Mr. Barr, and relegating to Aunt Helen
the less unconventional philosopher. Paul Barr
however bowed to her in so superb and deferential
a manner that I thought she looked rather
flattered than otherwise, which relieved my worst
apprehensions, and I found myself straightway
chatting with him in a somewhat spirited vein.
Heard, in my own drawing-room, Mr. Barr's
compliments and ardent speeches moved me to
badinage, and I saw no harm in accepting them
as the ordinary give-and-take of the would-be
lady-killer, more original and therefore more
entertaining than those of a fashionable flirt, but
still of the same general character. I affected
to be alternately irate and pleased at what he
said. Meanwhile his eyes looked unutterable
things, and he interspersed his flatteries with a
tissue of abnormal but poetic fancies. He was
undeniably fascinating, and all the more so because
I felt in his society somewhat as if I were
walking through a gunpowder vault, with a lighted
candle. But there was this difference, that in
his case the character of the possible explosion
was wrapped in mysterious uncertainty, which
added an agreeable element of curiosity to my
sensations.
Presently he drew from his breast pocket a
small volume in white vellum and gold, which
he presented to me. It was a copy of his
poems,—"The Paradise of Passion, and other
Rhythms." I glanced at the fly-leaf, and to my
astonishment and confusion perceived that underneath
the inscription, "Miss Harlan, with the
respectful homage of him who did these verses,"
was a sonnet "To Virginia," which began,—
The happy rose which lately from thy hands
I took with kisses, dry and withered lies—
I did not attempt to read farther at the moment.
Indeed, I felt inclined to draw myself
up austerely at first, but on second thought
acknowledged his presumption with the same
laughing coquetry I had hitherto displayed.
After all, it was not worth while to become angry.
His extravagance was not to be taken too
seriously. It was rather refreshing for a change.
I wondered how he would behave if he ever
really were in love.
Meanwhile I had endeavored to listen at the
same time to the conversation between Aunt
Helen and Mr. Spence. I was relieved to find
that he saw fit to avoid any allusion to his theories,
and pursued the highway of indifferent
subjects, such as the weather, the stage, and
foreign travel. Still, I could tell from Aunt
Helen's superior and as it seemed to me disdainful
tone that she by no means approved of
my new acquaintances, though I detected her
casting an occasional glance of puzzled curiosity
at Mr. Barr, whose eccentricities were,
I suppose, more amusing than the calm of her
companion.
"I don't suppose you find the differences
very marked between this country and Europe,
Mr. Spence?" I heard her inquire after learning
that he had passed much of his life abroad.
"On the contrary, very slight."
"Nice people are very much the same everywhere,"
she observed haughtily.
"To tell the truth," said Mr. Spence, "I have
been rather disappointed at finding the people,
as well as the manners and customs, of this
country so similar to those across the water. I
had been led to expect originality and independence.
That was what I was taught to believe
as a child. But after an absence from my
country of six years I came back to find nearly
the same manners and customs, and the same virtues
and vices, as I left behind me in Europe."
"Vices?" echoed Aunt Helen. "I should
say there was much less vice in this country
than in Europe."
"Not if we judge by the newspapers."
"Ah, but one can't believe all one reads in the
newspapers," she said with an air of triumph.
Mr. Spence had, unluckily for the impression
he was likely to create, the courage of his convictions
as I well knew, and as he began to reply
I felt less secure that he would not trench
upon dangerous ground.
"There is a general tendency to ape foreign
ideas, which is fast destroying our originality
as a nation," he continued.
"Foreign ideas are often the best," said my
aunt.
"We are beginning to talk and dress, and
dine and give in marriage, just like all the rest
of the world," he explained, without regarding
her comment.
Aunt Helen looked a little blank. Then with
her most stately air she said:—
"Surely you wouldn't have marriages performed
before a Justice of the Peace? It destroys
all their sentiment. I know a great
many persons who wouldn't consider themselves
married so. As to living differently, I
don't know what you mean. There are people
here who advocate cremation, co-operation, and
that sort of thing, but one doesn't meet them
in society."
"I am no judge," said Mr. Spence coolly,
"for I never go into society."
"Indeed!" Aunt Helen surveyed him
through her eye-glass as if he were a curious animal,
and her haughtiness perceptibly increased.
"Are you—eh—in business in Boston?"
"No, madam. I am a Bohemian," replied Mr.
Spence, in whose eye I perceived a twinkle.
"A what? Ah, yes, of course. I understood
you to say you were born in this country. And
the other gentleman—eh—is he a foreigner
too?"
For an instant Mr. Spence looked bewildered;
and as for me I was inwardly convulsed, so much
so that I betrayed my feelings in a smile at the
moment when Paul Barr was reciting a bloodcurdling
piece of poetry of his own composing,—an
indiscretion which offended the artist-poet
to such an extent that in my efforts to
mollify him I failed to catch Mr. Spence's reply.
He rose to take his leave at this point; but it
chanced that just then my father entered the
room, and I was obliged to repeat the introductions.
While I was saying a few last words to
Mr. Spence in regard to the sort of instruction
I was to receive from Mr. Fleisch, Paul Barr
conversed with my father, laying down the law
in his most superb fashion regarding the immense
fortune in store for any one who would
start what he called a fig farm in this country.
Although I had never heard him broach a business
matter before, he seemed entirely familiar
with his subject, and fairly bristled with statistics
and calculations to prove the soundness of
his theory, gardeners to the contrary notwithstanding.
My father listened to him patiently,
and seemed to be amused. Aunt Helen sat
apart with a reserved, patrician air.
My two callers took their leave together;
and when the front door closed, my father said
jocosely,—
"Who are your friends, Virginia? I hope
they have not been persuading you to invest in
a fig farm."
I blushed, remembering my former design of
speculating with Mr. Dale,—of which, however,
my father had no knowledge.
"Both are literary men of high reputation,"
I answered quietly, though I had an instinctive
feeling that my father would make sport of this
assertion. But experience had taught me that
with him it was best to call a spade a spade.
"That accounts for it. I thought the gentleman
in velveteen had a screw loose somewhere,"
he said as he passed out of the room.
"Well, Virginia," exclaimed Aunt Helen
when we were alone, "whom have you picked
up now?"
"I don't understand you," said I.
"Who are those young men who were here
just now? They are foreigners, on their own
admission,—Bohemians. My own belief is that
they have gypsy blood in their veins, for what
can one know of the antecedents of persons who
come from a small German principality? They
don't even claim to be counts, and any one with
the smallest pretext to respectability in that
part of the world is a count, at least. They look
to me as if they had been on the stage, especially
the one to whom you were talking. I
will do him the justice to say he is a handsome
wretch, but like all those foreign adventurers he
has a dissipated air. As for the other, he is
simply commonplace and vulgar, with little upstart
radical notions."
I waited for her to finish before replying.
"I have already said that Mr. Spence and Mr.
Barr are both literary men of high standing.
They are neither of them foreigners, but were
born in this State. By 'Bohemian' Mr. Spence
meant the literary and artistic fraternity in general,
Aunt Helen. He is a philosopher as well
as a poet; and Mr. Barr paints pictures in addition
to his other work."
"But who are they? Where do they come
from? It is all very well to say they were born
in this country. But who and what are their
parents? Spence—Spence—I never heard
the name in my life. There were some Barrs
who used to live in the next street to us
when your mother and I were young; but
they were all girls, and, as I remember them,
ordinary."
"When men have acquired fame, it is hardly
necessary to inquire if they belong to the best
families," I rejoined, borrowing a leaf from Aunt
Agnes's book.
"It is one thing to admire the works of genius,
and another to have it trampoosing over your
house. Your acquaintances are, I dare say, well
enough as poets and philosophers, but I don't
see what that has to do with you. You are
neither a poet nor a philosopher, and you will
flatter them much more by buying their books
than by asking them to five o'clock tea. I must
say that, philosopher or no philosopher, the
young man who was talking with me has very
strange ideas. Just think of his advocating co-operative
house-keeping, and marriages before a
Justice of the Peace. I fancy too that he is lax
in his religious opinions. If he is your idea of
a desirable acquaintance to invite to your house,
I am sorry for it. You never got any such
notions from my side of the family."
"It is useless to talk with you if you go off at
a tangent, Aunt Helen," said I. "I am proud to
call both those young men my friends, and they
are vastly superior in every way to nine tenths
of those one meets in society. Mr. Spence,
whose ideas you think so peculiar, is one of
the ablest scientists in the country, and I am
going to take lessons in his philosophy from
one of his assistants. As I told you the other
day, I am tired of frittering away my time in
nonsense."
"And as I told you the other day, Virginia,
go on as you have begun, and we shall hear of
you presently on the stage. That Mr. Barr
might pass in a drawing-room on account of his
picturesqueness, if he were to brush his hair; but
the other one is simply a gawk, to be plain.
Science indeed! Don't come in a few weeks
to ask me to believe that we are all descended
from monkeys, or any other stuff, for I sha'n't do
it. That's what I call nonsense; and you will
discover some day that most people who have
any self-respect are of my way of thinking."
I had never known Aunt Helen to be so excited,
but there was nothing to be done. Society
and etiquette were her household gods; and by
ceasing to worship the same divinities I had
drawn upon myself the full energy of her displeasure.
Nothing could have offended her
so much. To be odd or different from other
people was in her estimation a cardinal sin;
whereas I parted from her with a still firmer
conviction that I had chosen wisely. The calm
unselfish wisdom and steadfastness of Mr. Spence
seemed more indisputable to me than ever; and
in the way of companionship, Paul Barr's gallantries
and sallies were vastly preferable to any
drawing-room flirtation.
It was only when I thought of my father that
I felt any concern or doubt. I knew that he
had set his heart upon my devoting myself to
the study of practical matters. He wished me
to become cultivated, but scarcely in the direction
I had chosen. What would he say if he
knew of my determination; and was it filial and
just to let him remain in ignorance of it? Yet
I reasoned that after all I had made no final
decision. I was attracted, it is true, by what
might be called a visionary theory; but when I
had given the principles of moderation further
thought, I might conclude not to devote myself
to them. It would be time enough later to
speak of the subject. At present I was only too
poorly prepared to present the ideas of Mr.
Spence in an intelligent manner, and should
probably prejudice my father against the whole
system.
However, I could not refrain from a few reflections
on the apparent hostility of practical
men to pure theory, which must after all be the
basis of all intelligent action. How much nobler
to help to establish principles serviceable to
humanity than to make later unconscious use
of those same principles to advance one's own
selfish interests! Why must there needs be
mutual disdain and coolness between those who
thought and those who acted? It had been easy
for me to perceive at a glance that there was
likely to be but little mutual sympathy between
my father and Mr. Spence, and the consciousness
grieved me.
But I did not falter in my purpose. Mr. Fleisch
called to see me the following day and laid out
an elaborate course of study. He was to come
twice a week to examine me and give me suggestions,
but he said that my progress was mainly
dependent on my own exertions. I bought a
number of books of his selection, and tried to
devote five hours each day to systematic work.
My tasks were largely of a philosophical character,
but poetry and music of a restrained sort
were also included in Mr. Fleisch's instruction;
and he said that after the foundations were laid,
I should be taught the dangers of extremes by
studying examples of the overmuch and the
undermuch.
At last I was successful one day in finding
Aunt Agnes at home, and alone. It was about
a week after my visit from Mr. Spence. I was
disturbed at seeing her brow contract at sight
of me, but my worst fears were realized when
she said:—
"I do not wonder that you have preferred to
keep away from me."
"On the contrary, Aunt Agnes, I have called
twice before, this week."
"When you knew I was out, I dare say."
There was no answering such logic as this.
"I seem never to be able to satisfy you," I
said bravely. "I had come to tell you that I
am studying hard under the direction of Mr.
Fleisch, a favorite pupil of Mr. Spence, and am
doing all I can to improve myself."
"Fiddlesticks! Tell me!"
"But, Aunt Agnes, it is so."
"I have heard all about you. You can't tell
me anything about the matter I don't know
already. We shall hear next of your carrying
your habit of flirting into the sanctuary itself.
You might almost as well coquet with a minister
of the holy Gospel as with him you have
selected to try your fascinations on. I might
have guessed what would be the result of introducing
you to sober-minded people. It
was none of my work, thank Heaven! Lucretia
Kingsley has herself to blame, for I heard her
give you the invitation from her own lips. But
I blush for you as my niece. No amount of
proficiency or cleverness can be a palliation of
your behavior."
"I have been maligned, Aunt Agnes," I cried
with flashing eyes. "Some one has told you a
pack of falsehoods. It is not true that I have
been flirting with anybody. I have given up
everything of the kind, as I said I should. Who
has been accusing me? I insist on knowing
who told you."
"No matter who told me. My authority is
of the best."
"I suppose it was your friend Miss Kingsley.
I half suspected that she would misrepresent me
in private."
"You admit, then, that you are guilty?"
"I admit nothing. If, as your words seem
to imply, Miss Kingsley says I acted unbecomingly
at her house, she does not speak the truth.
She is jealous. The long and short of it is, Mr.
Spence was polite to me, and that made her
angry. I believe she wishes to marry him herself,"
I said in the fulness of my anger.
"Virginia! I am astonished at you. It will
not mend matters to insult your benefactors.
What motive had Miss Kingsley, pray, in asking
you to her house but kindness?"
"Pshaw!" I cried, now thoroughly roused.
"She asked me because she thought I was
fashionable, and because it would read well in
the newspaper that I had been at one of her
tea-parties. She imagined I was so silly and
brainless that her friends would take no notice
of me; and when it turned out that they did
she lost her temper."
"You have lost yours, Virginia. I presume
you will tell me presently that Mr. Spence flirted
with you. I never heard such nonsense in my
life, and wicked nonsense too; for you are doing
your best to injure the character of a young
woman who is in every way your superior, and
has had none of your advantages. As I just
said, I presume you will claim that Mr. Spence
flirted with you, and that he wrote to you
first."
"Wrote to me? He has never written to me;
nor I to him, except to ask his advice about a
teacher."
"You admit so much?"
"Why shouldn't I? I was interested in his
theories, and I applied to him as the most natural
person to consult."
"It is very easy to explain it away in that
manner, but unfortunately for you my informant
adopted—"
"Why don't you say Miss Kingsley, and have
done with it, Aunt Agnes?"
"Very well then, if you prefer, Miss Kingsley
adopted a very different style in speaking of
you than you employ in speaking of her. She
tried to spare you as much as possible, and said
what she did only with great reluctance. I could
see that she was holding back, and was resolved
not to tell the whole. 'Of course,' she said, 'I
know Miss Virginia did not mean to offend, and
very likely in general society her little indiscretions
would have been quite proper; but at a
purely intellectual gathering like ours, from
which as you know all vanities are rigorously
excluded, it did seem to me unsympathetic of a
new-comer to introduce an element of coquetry.
When I say that since then she has written
notes to Mr. Spence, whose time is precious as
gold, asking him to call upon her in a social way,
you will I am sure, my dear Miss Harlan, excuse
my speaking. It is for her own good that I have
ventured to do so, as a word from you would convince
her of her thoughtlessness.'"
"The hypocrite!" I murmured, too indignant
to restrain myself.
"There you go again, vilifying her with
abusive epithets when she has simply done her
duty as a friend. Contrast for instance your
various expressions with hers. 'Jealous;' 'invited
you to her house because you were fashionable'
(a most unwarranted assumption); 'a
hypocrite;' and, worst of all, you accuse her of
trying to win the affections of a man whom she
venerates as a master, and who though he has
never taken the vow of celibacy is too much
absorbed in the life-work he is pursuing to give
a thought to marriage. And what does she
say of you? She merely calls it 'unsympathetic'
of a new-comer to disturb the harmony
of sober-minded people by the introduction of
coquetry. 'Unsympathetic'! If I were to stigmatize
such behavior, I should call it disgraceful.
I was mortified, Virginia, thoroughly mortified;
and especially as Mr. Spence had been here the
day before, and spoken of you in terms that
made me feel really proud. As Miss Kingsley
said, however, he is the last man in the world
to notice such a thing as coquetry."
I made a mental interrogation point, but I
did not dare to give utterance to the heresy lest
I should seem to be carrying out Aunt Agnes's
insinuation that I would next accuse Mr. Spence
of flirting with me. I replied with as much
quietness as I could at the moment command,—
"I can only repeat what I have already said.
Miss Kingsley has slandered me, whether intentionally
or not I do not know. But her charge
of coquetry is utterly without foundation."
"Did you not make eyes at Mr. Barr, and
give him a rose?" she interrupted. "You see
I know all."
"No, I did not," I answered, flushing. "On
the contrary, Mr. Barr made me feel excessively
uncomfortable during most of the evening by
the absurd compliments he paid me, and by the
way in which he stared at me. As for the rose,
I dropped it accidentally as I was getting into
my carriage, and I believe he picked it up."
"Accidentally!" said Aunt Agnes with a sniff.
"As my informant said, 'when a young woman
flings herself at the head of a hot-souled poet,
what is she to expect?' Human nature is human
nature, and there are not many men with
the self-control of Mr. Spence."
"Miss Kingsley seems to have given you a
great deal of information, Aunt Agnes."
"You are mistaken again, as usual. The person
who told me this is a sober-minded woman of
middle age, who could not have been influenced
by jealousy."
"Mrs. Marsh, I suppose. I might have
known it, from her choice vocabulary. Talk
of gossips, Aunt Agnes, I never heard a worse
one in any drawing-room in the city. Who is
Mrs. Marsh?"
I was glowing with indignation again, and
justly so as it seemed to me. I had been cruelly
misconstrued, and my self-control on the occasion
of Miss Kingsley's tea had been wholly
unappreciated.
"Who is Mrs. Marsh? You may well ask
who is Mrs. Marsh, after what you have said
about her. Gossip or no gossip, vocabulary
or no vocabulary, Mrs. Marsh is a very deserving
woman, who by her own unaided efforts has
risen to the position she now occupies. How
often shall I be obliged to impress upon you
that it is the spirit, not the letter, that is of importance?
As secretary of the Society for the
Practice of Moderation, Mrs. Marsh can afford
to disregard the ill-natured sneers of those who
may have enjoyed greater advantages in early
life than she. It is not by wholesale abuse of
others, Virginia, that you will persuade me of
your innocence. On your own showing, you
have written to Mr. Spence, and misconstrued
Mr. Barr's poetic impetuosity as an attempt
to flirt with you. I do not desire to discuss the
matter further. We shall soon know whether
you are sincere or not in your professions of
study. As I have told you before, your future
is in your own hands; but first and foremost you
must rid yourself of this propensity to behave
in a trivial manner."
I felt that silence would be the best palliative
for my wounds; and so discouraged was I of
being able to change Aunt Agnes's opinion, I
thought it a waste of breath at the moment
even to mention Mrs. Marsh as my authority
for the statement that Miss Kingsley had a
tender feeling for Mr. Spence.
A year passed without special incident, and
yet certain things require to be told so
that the sequel may seem consistent. Contrary
to Aunt Agnes's insinuation, I proved sincere
in my devotion to study. Mr. Fleisch came
regularly twice a week, and during the summer
months when I was away from home his instruction
was continued by means of correspondence.
I found him, as Mr. Spence had predicted, an
admirable teacher. His work was everything
to him, and he imbued me with his ability to
look at our relations as strictly impersonal. He
might have been a machine, so little was he susceptible
to any mood of mine,—a characteristic
which I deemed more and more indispensable
each day to a proper understanding between
pupil and master.
As a result of his teaching and my own industry,
I acquired before many months an intimate
knowledge of the views shared by those who
called themselves Moderationists, and moreover
without the slightest diminution of my enthusiasm.
I was able to converse intelligently with
the most proficient of the school, and there was
little of the system that failed to commend itself
to me as entitled to faith and support. I attended
meetings and lectures in advocacy of its
theories, and occasionally took part in debates
on questions relating to the management of the
Society for the Practice of Moderation, of which
I was elected treasurer. Thus it happened that
my name appeared in the newspapers as one of
the leading spirits of the movement, and among
my former acquaintances there was a general
impression that I had become very peculiar.
My old ball-room rivals, who were for the most
part waltzing as hard as ever, would stop me in
the street and say, "Virginia dear, is it true you
are going into a convent?" or, "What is this
that I hear, Virginia, about you being in favor
of female suffrage? Do you really think women
ought to vote?" Once in a while some friend,
who was either more accurate by nature or who
really felt an interest in me, would hit closer to
the mark, and perhaps with a sigh express regret
at not having the courage to become literary
too. "But it does separate one so from
other people,—that is, people one knows; don't
you think so dear?"
It certainly did. I was completely estranged
from my old associations, and spent my time,
when not employed in study, largely at the rooms
of our Society, where Mrs. Marsh presided
as secretary. There were countless circulars
and pamphlets to be mailed, setting forth our
purposes and needs. Mrs. Marsh, despite an inaccurate
acquaintance with and an overweening
curiosity regarding the doings of fashionable
people, was a model of executive ability. With
some one at hand to correct her grammar and
spelling, she could transact a greater amount of
business than half-a-dozen ordinary women. In
my zeal to see things properly done, I constituted
myself her assistant; and we managed together
the whole work of the Bureau, as Miss Kingsley
liked to call our humble quarters.
My relations with Miss Kingsley were outwardly
very friendly. I had thought it best
upon reflection not to appear offended when we
met again, and she on her part greeted me with
effusive warmth and a little deprecatory look, as
if to say, "You will excuse me, I am sure, for
what I said to your aunt. It was for your good,
or I should never have spoken." Subsequently,
in our relations at the Bureau, she liked to patronize
me slightly. She would come whisking
into the rooms where Mrs. Marsh and I were
hard at work, and putter about for a few moments,
asking questions and giving us advice,
and then whisk out again with an encouraging
nod. She was apt to time her visits so as to
meet Mr. Spence, who came regularly sometime
during every forenoon, to superintend our labors.
He stayed usually about half an hour; and from
the first day I became connected with the Bureau
I made a point to avoid him as much as possible,—a
course which seemed acceptable to
him, for he always addressed his business suggestions
to Mrs. Marsh, and did not encourage
me to converse with him. Once in a while,
however, he would approach me in a constrained
fashion, and express satisfaction with
the reports Mr. Fleisch made of my progress.
It was through his silent agency also, I had
no question, that I was appointed treasurer, and
was regarded as a prominent worker in the
cause. With Miss Kingsley, on the other hand,
he was easy and familiar. It was evident that
he liked her, and he listened to her opinions; but
I could never detect what seemed to me any signs
of sentiment on his part in her regard. Miss
Kingsley must have thought differently, for on
one or two occasions she was unable to resist
the temptation, as they went out of the door
together, of looking back at me with an air of
triumph. The more Mr. Spence seemed to
avoid me, the kinder and more patronizing was
her manner; and she so far evinced her friendship
presently as to show me the manuscript of
a novel which she had written, entitled "Moderation,"
and which was dedicated "To him to
whom I owe all that in me is of worth,—Charles
Liversage Spence." It was an attempt, as she
explained to me, to return to the rational style
and improving tone of Jane Austen, whose novels
were sound educators as well as sources of
amusement. From Miss Kingsley's natural fluency
and sprightliness I expected something
"racy," to quote Paul Barr, and I was disappointed
to find "Moderation" dull and didactic.
It was however heralded and published with a
great flourish of trumpets; and Mr. Spence wrote
a review of it in one of the leading newspapers
under the symbol XXX (a signature of his known
only to the initiated), in which he called attention
to its exquisite moral tone, which had no counterpart
in fiction since the writings of Miss Edgeworth
were on every parlor table. In conclusion
he said: "Whatever the too captious critic may
say of the dramatic interest of the story, it is
indeed a triumph for a young writer, and that
writer a woman, to embody in her first novel
opinions that will make the book of value to the
student of psychology long after the craving of
human nature for fictitious narrative has ceased
to exist."
My own opinion of the novel was reinforced
by that of Paul Barr, which prevented me from
thinking, as I might otherwise have done, that I
was actuated by ill-nature in judging Miss Kingsley's
book. After the first phase of curiosity its
popularity waned, and the author adopted the
fashion of calling it an artistic success. But the
complimentary criticism of Mr. Spence gave me
food for thought, and for the first time suggested
the idea of a possible feeling on his part
for Miss Kingsley stronger than friendship. It
interested me, and at the same time annoyed me
a little. Why the latter I hardly knew, unless it
were a conviction that she was not good enough
for him. But when I thought over their daily
relations as constantly exhibited in my presence,
my former opinion that he had merely a brotherly
affection for her returned. If he had been
misled to praise her book unduly, it was by his
excessive enthusiasm for his own doctrines presented
therein, and not by the blind force of love,—which
conclusion was directly at variance with
the theory of Mrs. Marsh on the subject, who
was perpetually referring to the match between
them as a foregone conclusion.
Discreet as was my conduct in general during
these twelve months, and earnestly as I sought
to avoid in its mildest form what Aunt Agnes
called coquetry, I was not able to escape the
importunities of Mr. Barr. Absorbed as I was
in my work, and determined to consider all
attentions from my literary friends as mere
meaningless gallantries, it was very difficult to
disregard the artist-poet's protestations of devotion:
they had become little short of that.
He was a constant visitor at the rooms of our
Society, although his own principles were hostile
to those we professed; and he would spend as
much time as I would permit, lolling about my
desk and whispering all sorts of nonsense. He
brought me flowers and fruit, and now and then
some new publication,—not in sufficient quantity
to permit me to refuse them, but a single
rose or a peach, or a tiny volume of verses. He
sent me sonnets and madrigals through the post
without signature, though in his own handwriting,
and denied with asseverations their authorship
when questioned. Besides his black and
his brown, he had a green velveteen coat, and a
different-colored flowing tie for every day in the
week. His habits were in complete conformity
with his philosophy of extremes. He was apt
to tell me when he had been sitting up all night,
whether in study or what he called wassail; but
I could always guess the fact from his appearance.
His method of work was equally irregular,
and he lived from hand to mouth. He would
be idle as a forced peach on a hot-house wall
(to use a simile of his own) for weeks at a time;
and yet when he was seized with a desire to
work, it was no uncommon thing for him to paint
or compose twenty-four hours at a sitting, and
come to the Bureau or my house, almost before
I was out of bed, with dishevelled raiment and
bloodshot eyes, to exhibit or read to me the
result of his industry.
I had by this time ceased to regard him with
any seriousness as a philosopher. Indeed, it
was difficult not to consider his vagaries self-indulgence;
and from the veneration I conceived
for him at the start, I came to be his mentor in
the end. I dared to remonstrate with him on
the irresponsible life he was leading, and sought
to inculcate in him the doctrine of moderation. I
felt that I had an influence over him; and it was
the consciousness of this that prompted me not
to be too severe in the matter of his attentions
and little gifts. When I talked to him, as I often
did, on the error of his ways and the waste of
his talents, he would listen to me with tears in
his eyes, and promise better things for the future.
He would become systematic and serious in his
habits and work. Without becoming a convert
to moderation, he would develop his own scheme
of philosophy in an artistic spirit. There was a
limit even to extremes, he said; and that limit
scientifically determined would induce a perfect
happiness. When he talked thus, I felt I could
afford to be indifferent to the insinuations and
playful sallies of Miss Kingsley and Mrs. Marsh.
They might think what they chose of our relations.
If by the exercise of sympathy and
counsel I could regenerate a man of strong individuality
and striking natural gifts from the
thrall of self-indulgence, a fig for the idle voice
of gossip!
Meanwhile, I grieve to say that my intimacy
with Aunt Helen was strained. Many were the
tears she shed over my degeneracy, and no words
of mine could make her see other than a foolish
waste of golden opportunities in the course I was
pursuing. This disturbed me greatly, for my
attachment to her was very strong, and I knew
she would have cut off her right hand to serve
me. Our interviews were largely lachrymose
on her part and morose on mine, after argument
proved futile. She had none of Aunt Agnes's
downrightness, but a no less degree of persistence.
After many efforts, I succeeded in convincing
her that my friends had no connection
with the stage, and I persuaded her to accompany
me to one of Mr. Spence's lectures. It was
the one on Overeating and Undereating, and the
most likely to be fully intelligible, I thought.
But I caught her napping before the end; and
as an all-embracing condemnatory criticism, she
cautioned me to beware of homœopathy!
With Aunt Agnes, on the other hand, my relations
were more friendly than they had ever
been before. Experience had taught me that
long conversations with her were not advisable,
but I was able to test the thermometer of her
feelings toward me in other ways. She had begun
to send me books and pamphlets, relating
to various abstract theories in which she was interested;
and once or twice she read to me articles
in manuscript of her own composition, and asked
my opinion of their merit. Occasionally, too,
she paid a visit to the rooms of the Society; and
I shall never forget the expression of satisfaction
that flickered over her severe face at seeing me,
for the first time, at my desk. From that day,
a general softening of her attitude toward me
began.
But happy and absorbed as I was in this great
interest, I was never quite without a feeling that
my father might not be pleased, did he know of
my fast-growing intention to devote the energies
of my life to it. He was more busy than ever
down town, and for weeks at a time would seem
scarcely aware of my existence. His questions
at dinner regarding my doings were rarely more
definite than to ask how I had spent the day, to
which any reply seemed to be satisfactory. I
usually said that I had been studying; and had it
not been for his quiet habit of observation, with
which I was now acquainted, I should have imagined
that it went in at one ear and out at the
other. I never volunteered to tell him the character
of my studies; but though he never made
inquiries, I had a secret impression that he knew
far more than was apparent of the use I made
of my time. Nevertheless, the year passed without
his showing any signs of disapproval. I was
so bold even as to invite Paul Barr once or twice
to dinner, when I felt that he needed the moral
tonic of a glimpse of home life to fortify his
good resolutions. So, too, I did not hesitate to
practise in my daily mode of living some of the
doctrines to which I held most firmly,—such as
early hours of rising and going to bed, temperate
diet and simplicity of raiment; but as it was just
as incumbent upon me to avoid the other extreme,
the changes were not sufficiently marked
to excite attention.
The traveller who looks back at night upon a
highway sees a long trail of shadow, broken at
recurring intervals by the blaze of lamps. Such
is the effect of life in retrospect. Much of that
which we remember concerning the past is vague
and dim, yet here and there along the road some
incident stands out which explains and illumines
what follows and precedes.
It is difficult for me to analyze more closely
than I have done my feelings and thoughts during
the period in which I studied the principles
of moderation. But the events of three days
at its close are indelibly impressed upon my
memory. For several weeks during the autumn,
Paul Barr had been hard at work upon a picture
in regard to which he had seen fit to be mysterious,
although he became enthusiastic as to its
merits before it was nearly finished. No piece
of painting that he had ever attempted was so
satisfactory to him, he said, both in the way of
conception and performance. So confident was
he of its excellence, that I began at last to share
his excitement, and expressed a wish to see the
masterpiece. But he was resolute in his determination
that no one should see it until its completion,
and least of all I.
Curious as I felt concerning it,—for one could
never be sure that Paul Barr was not a genius,—I
was in no haste to have the picture finished,
for the artist's own sake. So deep and breathless
was his interest, that he had become regular
in his hours and habits. He seemed to realize
that the best work required a steady hand and
an unwearied eye. If I took some slight credit
to myself for this change in his methods, it was
not unnatural; and yet I was not so far elated as
to feel wholly confident it would last. When he
had put the finishing touch to his wonderful
creation, would he abstain from the dissipation
and self-indulgent idleness that was apt to follow
any concentration on his part? I liked to believe
that this would be the case; and as I cherished
the idea, it grew almost into absolute faith.
I have said that Aunt Agnes and I were on
pleasant terms; but there was one speck on the
mirror of her serenity which threatened at times
to mar the whole. It was my intimacy with Mr.
Barr. Some one had informed her,—I have
no doubt it was Miss Kingsley,—that he was
much in my society, and that we behaved like
lovers. I had learned by this time not to allow
my awe for Aunt Agnes to prevent me from defending
myself; but I found exculpation a
difficult matter in this instance, on account of
the character of the other offender. She styled
my attitude hypocritical, because I parleyed
with the enemy. Even assuming that there
was no flirtation between us,—of which she
was by no means convinced,—what right, she
asked, had I, as a neophyte of recent standing,
to be on terms of intimacy with the arch advocate
of the school of thought most opposed to
that which I professed?
I mention this in order to explain why I had
of late been more chary of my sympathy in my
interviews with the artist, and had given him
strict orders that he was not to send me any
more fruit and flowers. However much I might
desire his welfare, self-respect required that I
should not let our friendship become so conspicuous
as to attract general attention. It was
shortly after I issued this mandate that he began
the picture to which I have referred; but the
immediate result of my words was a fit of angry
despondency.
Two days before Christmas he came to me
and said the picture would be finished and
ready for exhibition on Christmas Eve, and that
he wished me to see it first of all. Would I
come to his rooms on that afternoon? As he
saw me hesitate, he clasped his hands with so
piteous an expression that I chose not to say
no. Why not, after all, thought I. It was unconventional
to be sure. But matrons were out
of date and superfluous in the artistic world.
Did not Miss Kingsley go about freely to studios
and wherever the needs of her profession called
her? If she were safe from familiarity, why
should not I be? I had a strong belief in the
magic circle of respect which surrounds a thoroughly
refined woman. If I refused the artist's
request, I was certain to disappoint him sorely.
It was a small enough favor, I argued, to grant
to one who had been striving bravely to overcome
his evil nature at my instigation.
Mr. Barr's studio was up seven flights of stairs
in the French roof of a building which had no
elevator, and had doubtless been chosen by him
on account of cheapness and light. Breathless,
I paused on the last landing on the afternoon of
the day before Christmas, and in response to my
knock was greeted by the black beard and large
eyes of the artist appearing round the edge of
the door. As he threw it wide open he gave a
cry of pleasure, singing the while at the top of
his lungs the air he played that evening at Miss
Kingsley's when he flung himself down before
the piano after tea.
"At last, at last, my goddess! I have prayed
for this hour," he said, bowing low.
I stopped short in the middle of the room.
"If you do not wish me to leave you instantly,
you must cease all such language and unseemly
conduct. I have come to see your picture, Mr.
Barr."
"I will. Believe me, I will. I will be quiet
as a lamb, though I am so happy I could dance
a minuet with Satan and not tire. But I will
obey you. Do not be uneasy. Sit here. No,
here. The light is better. There it is. Look,
finished! My masterpiece, my ideal! It is only
to lift that curtain, and I shall be famous."
Despite his words he was jumping about with
nervous, excited gestures. I sat in the armchair
he had indicated, and looked from him to
the picture on the easel over which a drapery
was flung, and back again to him. For an indefinable
feeling of dread was coming over me,
as I noted the disordered dress and the bloodshot
eyes of my strange host. He had failed,
then, to keep his pledges; had yielded to temptation.
My hoped-for regeneration was a failure,
and all was as it used to be with him. But yet
it might be overwork and the strain of a night
without sleep that gave him such a dissipated
aspect. I tried to think it was so. Meanwhile
he had seated himself at an old worn-out piano,
and looking across to me was pounding out bar
after bar of passionate music.
"Really, this is too much! I cannot stay and
endure this absurdity," I cried, and I walked to
the door.
But he darted at me and seized my hand with
fierceness and the grip of a vice, so that I shook
with fear.
"You shall not go, not until you have seen
her,—her I adore. Sit there!" he thundered;
and then, with an apparent sense of his own
harshness, he fell on his knees before me and
kissed my fingers with feverish frenzy. "My
queen! my own!" he cried.
I was so frightened I could not speak. What
was I to do? To scream would not have availed
me in that attic,—and yet I wonder now I did
not try to scream. I tore my hands away from
him and sprang from my seat, he not seeking to
restrain me, but still kneeling and gazing up at
me with wild but penitent eyes.
"Open the door, sir, and let me go! That is
the least return you can make for your rudeness,"
I said.
"No, no, no!" he cried with a wail of grief.
"I have insulted my goddess. I have broken
her heart. She will not speak to me. But look,
look!" he said, darting again toward the canvas
and throwing aside the drapery. "She is here!
I have her here forever. No one can rob me of
her now."
Fancy my emotions. It was a portrait of
myself!
I shall never forget the tipsy cunning of Paul
Barr's expression, as he watched the effect of his
legerdemain. The portrait was excellent; it
was, indeed, a masterpiece. I was sufficiently in
my senses to appreciate that, though my absorbing
thought was how to get out of the room.
For some moments we each kept our pose,—I
standing surveying the picture, and he with his
eyes bent upon me, leaning against the easel
which was in the pathway to the door.
Suddenly, and to my intense surprise, he
pronounced my name,—
"Virginia!"
It was a whisper almost, and spoken as one
might breathe the name of a saint.
"Virginia!"
Then with a low cry he stepped forward a
pace or two and dropped on his knees again.
"I love you, I adore you. I have broken
your heart, my angel, but it was love that
forced me to it. Forgive me, and tell me if
you can that there is hope,—a shadow is
enough. Hope that I may some day press
you to this bosom and call you mine,—mine
for eternity! Virginia, hear me!—do not look
so cold and cruel; you are a stone, while I
am burning! I have loved you since the first
moment I saw you. I wish my heart were
dust for you to trample on, if it may not
beat forever close to yours. With you as my
bride I could conquer worlds. I could become
an Angelo, a Rubens. Without you I shall
die!"
He seized my hands again and covered them
with kisses.
"Mr. Barr, Mr. Barr! I cannot listen to you
further. Let me go,—you are mad."
"Yes, I am mad,—mad with love for you,
sweet Virginia."
I tried to speak calmly, yet decisively, though
from fear and pity I was trembling like a leaf.
I told him that I could not grant what he asked.
I loved him as a friend, as a brother almost, and
would do anything to serve him but consent to
become his wife. His studio was no place for
such a conversation, I said. Let him come to
my house, after he had thought it over. He
would agree then that he had been carried away
by the impulse of the moment, by the tension
of his overstrained nerves, and that a marriage
between us would be an absurdity. Were not
our tastes and habits totally unlike?
Perhaps these were no words to address to an
overwrought soul, mastered by passion. But, as
I have said, I was terrified and bewildered. The
strong desire I felt to treat him with all the gentleness
and tender consideration I could muster,
must have been to some extent neutralized by
my anxiety to put an end to the interview. As
I spoke, his eyes seemed to grow darker and to
glow with fire, and the cunning, satyr-like expression
I had noticed before to intensify.
"Pardon me," I said, "for the pain I cause
you. My presence can only increase your suffering.
I will leave you, and if you wish, we
will talk of this to-morrow."
"To-morrow!" he answered; "there may be
no to-morrow. It is still to-day! still to-day!"
he repeated with a sort of chuckle. "I will live
to-day, though I may die to-morrow. My goddess,
my queen is here, and love—love—love!"
With a bound he folded me in his huge arms
and pressed my face against his lips three times
in a mad embrace.
"Coward! wretch!" I screamed; but I was
powerless as a babe.
He let me go.
"I will not hurt you, my own true love.
A kiss can do no harm. Once more!" and
he threw his arms wide open for a fresh embrace.
But another voice interrupted his purpose.
"Coward! you shall not touch a hair of her
head."
It was Mr. Spence who spoke; we had not
noticed the door open. He strode forward and
placed himself between me and the artist. On
the threshold stood Miss Kingsley, and I felt
the blood rush to my cheeks as our eyes met. I
would gladly have given half my fortune to blot
out the past few minutes.
"Is this the courtesy of Bohemia?" asked
Mr. Spence, breaking the silence that followed.
He was pale, and his lips were set, and there had
never seemed to me so little difference in stature
between him and Mr. Barr.
"It is love," was the answer. "The rapture of
those kisses will be on my lips to my dying day."
The artist began to troll the words of a mad
song of his own composition I had heard before.
"Paul Barr, though we have long differed on
many subjects, we have been friends. But after
what I have heard and seen to-day, we must
meet henceforth as strangers," said Mr. Spence,
with a fire I had never known him display
before.
"I adore her, and I am human. See there!"
he pointed to the portrait, which hitherto had
escaped their attention. "I would give even
that for another kiss."
At the sight of the picture Mr. Spence gave
a start, for the likeness was marvellous. As for
Miss Kingsley, she whispered in my ear,—
"Did you sit for it, dear?"
"No, I did not," I answered.
"Detestable philosophy!" continued Mr.
Spence, looking from the canvas to the artist.
"There was the making of a man in you,—this
portrait shows it. But it is too late. The brute
is rampant, and genius is no more."
"She could have moulded me in her hands
like clay," said Paul Barr. I could not help
feeling touched by the despair in his voice.
"How distinctly piteous!" murmured Miss
Kingsley.
"I have no more to say. You have heard
my decision, Paul Barr."
Mr. Spence seemed greatly moved and excited.
I could see him tremble. It was very
bitter to me to feel that on my account friends
of a lifetime were to be separated. The big
artist pulled at his beard, and with another of
his faun-like looks, exclaimed,—
"I understand. You want her for yourself.
But you cannot rob me of those kisses, ha! ha!
They shall lie in the grave with me, and I shall
still smile."
Mr. Spence grew paler yet. He seemed about
to speak, but controlling himself by an effort
turned to leave the room, motioning us to precede
him.
"How distinctly piteous!" repeated Miss
Kingsley, as we went downstairs. "He acted
shamefully, of course, and there is no excuse
for his conduct. But though it is impossible to
justify him, I can pity him, can't you? His nature
is so impressionable; and when he is interested
in anything there is no half way with him:
he wants the whole or nothing. If you will excuse
my saying so, several of us have been afraid
of something of this sort. I wanted to warn
you; but I said to myself, 'It may be Virginia
really likes him,' so I decided not to speak. If
I had done so, all this might have been prevented,
for it was very evident to the rest of us
that he was desperately in love with you. And
by such a man, of course the very smallest marks
of favor are construed as more significant than
open encouragement would be by a less poetic
temperament. I have no doubt the poor fellow
wears over his heart every rose-bud you ever
gave him, and knows by rote every word of
sympathy you ever said to him. And then
that portrait,—what volumes it tells of itself!
Fancy that ardent soul toiling over the canvas
to reproduce from memory your image (you
tell me you did not sit to him), and when the
masterpiece of his life was finished, inviting you
to his studio (as I suppose he did), and then
in a moment of deep and passionate love casting
himself at your feet—and—and forgetting
himself! Oh, Virginia, there is something exquisitely
pathetic in the thought! But how fortunate
too for you that we arrived when we did! In
his sober senses Paul Barr would rather die than
injure a hair of your head; but none of us, however
self-reliant, is free from dread in the presence
of a man who has been over-indulging in
stimulants, even though sure of his affection.
My poor dear, how you must have suffered!
What will your Aunt Agnes say? It was only two
days ago she said to me she hoped the affair
was at an end. I told her then that one can
never be sure of a thoroughly Bohemian nature;
it is liable to burst into flame at the moment one
least expects it. The result shows the correctness
of my prediction. Poor Mr. Barr! what
will become of him I wonder? I only hope he
will not attempt his own life,—that would be
worse than anything."
Neither Mr. Spence nor I had spoken as she
rattled on in this manner, going down the long
flights of stairs to the street. There was just
enough of truth in her remarks to make my
frame of mind still more wretched, and I could
barely refrain from requesting her to keep still.
Mr. Spence was evidently much disturbed by
what had occurred. The expression of his
face showed that he was under the influence
of violent emotions. Once or twice, too, I
saw him glance almost impatiently at Miss
Kingsley, as if her prattle annoyed him. But
she was so brimming over with volubility as to
be blind to everything but the fancies she saw
fit to evoke in regard to the scene she had
just witnessed.
When, however, we reached a crossing of
streets where her way separated from mine,
Mr. Spence said, in a tone that for him was
abrupt, "I shall see Miss Harlan home."
Miss Kingsley held my hand for a parting
shot. "You must not think me unsympathetic,
dear, because I feel sorry for poor Paul Barr. I
knew him before you did, you know; and at
one time we were quite as intimate, though in
a different way. If you feel faint, as I should
think you must after such a dreadful experience,
why don't you stop at an apothecary's and get
some salts? I always intend to carry salts with
me; they are so convenient on an occasion of
this sort. I do hope you will feel better to-morrow,
dear. I shall call the first thing in the
morning to inquire about you. Good-night."
For some minutes Mr. Spence and I remained
silent. But now that Miss Kingsley
was gone I felt an impulse to thank him, and
to explain, so far as was possible, my presence
at the studio.
"Believe me, Mr. Spence, I am very grateful
to you for your aid," I began. "It was very
inconsiderate and imprudent of me to go there
alone; but he was so anxious for me to see the
picture before any one else, that I was foolish
enough to consider it allowable. I had no idea
that it was a portrait of me, and none that he
cared for me in the way it seems he does. I
have tried to be kind to him, for I felt he was
lonely, and might be saved from excesses by a
sympathetic influence. But I see my mistake
now. I ought to have known."
An indefinable wish that Mr. Spence should
know the exact truth loosened my tongue.
"I understand—I understand perfectly," he
said in an emotional tone. "It is I that am to
blame. I might have prevented it," he added,
as though speaking to himself.
Surprise prevented me from saying more, for
I could not see how Mr. Spence was in any way
responsible. Nor did he, on his part, continue
the conversation. In five minutes we were at
my door.
"Will you not come in, Mr. Spence?"
"No, not to-night." He paused an instant.
"At what hour are you likely to be at home
and disengaged to-morrow?" he asked with
suddenness.
"To-morrow? At almost any time. Shall
we say four?"
Mr. Spence bowed by way of acquiescence.
He seemed so stiff that I feared he was offended
with me. But if so, why did he wish to come
to-morrow?
"Before you go, you must let me thank you
once more for having saved me from a very
awkward predicament," I said, holding out my
hand. "What should I have done if you had
not arrived?" I shuddered involuntarily.
"Poor girl, how you must have suffered!" he
exclaimed in a voice full of feeling. Then he
turned abruptly and left me.
As soon as I was safe at home, a terrible reaction
followed. I went to bed prostrated
physically, and sick at heart. True as it doubtless
was that Paul Barr would never voluntarily
have insulted me, I had deliberately exposed
myself to the tipsy eccentricities of a man
whose habits were not unknown. Might I not
also have discovered, if I had been wholly
candid with myself, that there was genuine
feeling in the words of devotion he had so
frequently whispered to me, and that under
the extravagance of his behavior there lurked
a vein of real sentiment? So much is apparent
and stands out in another light when one looks
back instead of forward! But this much was
true at least,—I was disillusioned forever of
the hope of successfully proselytizing Bohemia
under the guise of sympathy. Mingled with the
bitter tears of regret for the suffering of which I
had been the cause were resolves that henceforth
I would not sneer at conventionality and custom.
However much I might be devoted to thought
and study, I would practise the ordinary precautions
of my sex, and recognize the uses of
matrons.
The next day was Christmas, and before I returned
from church Miss Kingsley had called.
There was a letter from Paul Barr awaiting me,—and
such a letter! In it humiliation, despair,
poetry, and passion were intermingled. Tears
had blurred the pages, and I wept in turn as I
read the pitiful sentences. He could not hope
for pardon, he said, but he should never cease
to love. He wished to die. What would be
fame unless shared with the idol of his soul?
Existence was for him henceforth a dreary
waste; and yet his only fault had been that in
the ecstasy of heaven-sent passion he had over-leaped
the bounds imposed by human pettiness.
As I read on, his burning words seemed almost
intended as a defence. He had outraged
my feelings, and for that he was to-day suffering
exquisite torture, he said; but in the next
paragraph he railed against the social prejudices
of the age and the luke-warm character
of contemporary love. In another century, he
prophesied, the artificial barriers imposed by a
narrow and fast-rotting civilization would be
swept away by the mighty wave of passion
which, pent up in the bosoms of strong men
through a score of generations, was about to
inundate the world. Under the impulse of this
idea, the closing portions of his twelve-paged
letter became a fierce tirade against the existing
state of society; but the last sentence was so
astonishing to me individually, that I blushed
with the acuteness of my feelings. "Believing
as I do," he wrote, "in the expansion and overflow
of the human soul, I would fain have saved
you from the cramped and bloodless nature to
which you are about to ally yourself in preference
to mine. He has robbed me of you, and
thereby broken the last tie which held together
our conflicting dispositions. With him you can
never be supremely happy or supremely miserable,—which
seems to me a lot so wretched that
my heart, though heavy with the anguish of its
own sorrow, is wrung more with pity than with
pain."
His meaning was obvious, and I was still sitting
with this strange epistle in my lap when
Mr. Spence arrived. It would be affectation to
say I was greatly surprised, when, after a few
moments, he made to me a confession of his
love. From his words of the previous evening,
from a host of little indications which they had
recalled to me, and finally from the jealous suspicions
of the unhappy artist, I was not wholly
unprepared for this result. There was nothing
in the manner of his declaration that calls for
mention. It was, as he said, a confession long
deferred and struggled against, but he had been
mastered at last by a power stronger than himself.
He had come, he said, to make this acknowledgment
of his feelings, no matter what
might be the result; for there was something
he must ask me to listen to, which it would be
needful that I should know before he could dare
to ask me to become his wife, or I should be
able to answer.
I felt I knew what he was about to say, and
was not mistaken. The question with most
young people, he said, was how to find the
means upon which to marry; but in his case
those means were already provided, and a difficulty
of a precisely opposite character stood
between him and me. I must have perceived
by this time his intense devotion to the system
of philosophy of which he was the chief advocate.
He had sacrificed everything in life to
that one end, and he was prepared to do so so
long as he was spared to labor. To practise in
every way, so far as was possible, the principles
he professed was the only escape, in his opinion,
from that worst stigma of would-be-reformers,—hypocrisy.
Among the leading obstacles, in his
judgment, to a well-ordered life was the accumulation
of property beyond enough to satisfy the
common needs and comforts of life. He had
taken the vow of approximate poverty,—not
the extreme obligation of the clerical orders,
but a limited, moderate view in accordance with
the views just expressed. In seeking a partner
to aid him with her support and sympathy in
the great up-hill struggle to which he had consecrated
his powers, he had wished to make
choice of a woman with but small means, if
any; but fate had willed otherwise. Once already—he
said that he desired to conceal nothing—he
had offered himself to a young lady of
large property, for whom he felt a deep attachment.
He had asked her, as he was about to ask
me, to give herself to him in return for his love,
without her fortune. With that she was free
to do what she wished; it would be easy to
dispose of it. After debate she refused him.
This was six years ago; and until he saw me
no thought of love had refreshed his heart.
On that night at Miss Kingsley's, when he saw
me for the first time and before he knew of my
father's wealth, he loved me, he said, almost
without knowing it; but from the moment of
hearing the words that warned him of the barrier
between us, he had striven to drive my
image from his thoughts. Ever since, with all
the might and resolution of which he was capable,
he had struggled against his love, but in
vain. He had tried to avoid my presence; he
had resisted the temptation to become my
teacher at the time I consulted him on the subject;
and subsequently, when we were brought
into constant contact at the rooms of the society,
he had offended his own sense of politeness
by the reserve of his behavior toward me.
But, despite all this, he had felt the ground
gradually slipping from beneath his feet. A
chance look or smile nullified in an instant the
self-denial of weeks. He had been many times
already on the verge of an avowal. He had
seen and heard from others of the intimacy
between Mr. Barr and me, and been tortured
by the pangs of jealousy. But the events of
yesterday had made it impossible for him to remain
silent any longer. He loved me with all
the fervor of his heart, and it was vain for him
to deny it.
He paused, but I remained silent. Spoken
in his soft melodious voice his words seemed to
soothe me, by way of contrast to the storm of
passion I had listened to so recently. I did not
try to think. I felt that he had not finished, and
I wished to hear him to the end. Perhaps I
was conscious, too, that it would be impossible
for me to come to a decision on the spot.
One circumstance, he continued, had given
him hope that I might feel ready to make the
sacrifice he asked, provided that I returned his
love,—and that was the earnest spirit of interest
I had shown in the work he had undertaken.
There was no one among his followers who
seemed so completely zealous, and who had so
unreservedly labored for the cause of Moderation,
as I. If, then, my heart by chance were
interested in the founder as well as in the system,
it might seem no very serious matter to
disclaim the wealth I should inherit from my
father. It appeared to him that a nature like
mine might find a higher and more entire happiness
in the pursuit of ideal truth than in the
enjoyment of an excess of money contrary to
the whispers of a sensitive conscience. And if
at the same time this renunciation of that which
less enlightened souls esteemed as a chief good
should be abetted by the sympathy of a companion
soul, what bliss might not be in store for
two lives so wedded to progress and to love!
Such was the substance of Mr. Spence's communication;
and when he ceased, my feelings
were still so doubtful that I sat looking into space
as though to find counsel elsewhere than from my
own heart. He had spoken,—deemed it only
right to speak, he said,—before closing, of the
criticism to which so unusual an act would expose
me. I should be called eccentric, and doubtless
by many crazy; and the terms of contempt and
ridicule already cast at him would be visited, in
equal degree, upon his wife. It was this idea of
martyrdom, joined to the deep interest I had in
the doctrines of Moderation, that now took possession
of my fancy and made me incline to accede
to his request. Not that I sought ostracism
and abuse,—far from it; the very mention of
these things oppressed me with dread. But
there was to me an inspiring sense of nobility
in the thought of a man giving up his life to the
prosecution of a great truth indifferent to scoffs
and sneers, that made the blood course more
swiftly through my veins. If such a one could
be made happier, and his power of usefulness
increased by any act of mine, no sacrifice
seemed too large. For what was I, or what
was the value of anything I might do, compared
with the progress of humanity as a
whole? I could not give him love, perhaps,
and the freshness of a young heart; but sympathy
and encouragement and the co-operation
of a mind deeply interested in the cause with
which he was identified, might do much to
make the struggle more easy and success
speedier. Was I likely ever to meet with any
one more congenial? What better use could
I make of my life?
These thoughts came to me not only then,
but afterwards when Mr. Spence had gone and
I was left alone to make up my mind. I had
told him that he must give me time; it was
impossible for me to decide at the moment.
What he had said was so bewildering, and the
condition of any possible marriage between us
of so serious a character, that I was at a loss
for an answer. But I warned him not to feel
too much encouragement because I did not
give him an immediate reply; the chances
were more than likely that upon reflection I
should feel what he asked to be impossible. "I
respect you thoroughly, Mr. Spence, and I am
much interested in your work; but I do not
think I should ever love you as you would wish.
I feel quite sure of it; but if you are disposed
to let me think it over instead of giving you at
once an unfavorable reply, I am willing to do
so."
Both my aunts dined with us, it being Christmas
day, and directly upon her arrival Aunt
Helen remarked upon my paleness. It was an
unusually silent meal for a Christmas gathering.
My father, as I remembered later, seemed
absorbed and dull. Aunt Agnes had shown me
by a glance that the events of the previous day
were not unknown to her. She sat glum and
statuesque; but I did not attempt either to
brave or to mollify her displeasure, for I knew
that compared with the secret in my possession,
the wretched affair with Paul Barr would seem
to her a mere trifle. I wondered, however, what
she would think of such a match. How surprised
she would be, and how disappointed
probably in Mr. Spence!—for I had little
question that she regarded him as too much
engrossed in his work ever to think of marriage.
Indeed, she had said as much to me
when I spoke of Miss Kingsley in that connection.
Poor Miss Kingsley! it would be a cruel,
bitter blow to her. I believed her to be in
love with Mr. Spence, so far as it was possible
for any woman to be interested in a man who
had not made her an offer; and with the pardonable
sense of triumph I experienced was
mingled some pity. She was the first to detect
the infatuation I had awakened in him, but his
subsequent reserve had almost lulled her jealousy
to sleep. I knew in advance what Aunt
Helen would think. She would regard my conduct
as little short of madness, and all sympathy
between us would be at an end forever.
But it was my father's opinion on the subject
that I most feared to face. I could not doubt
what his verdict would be. It was the ambition
of his later life to see me use well the fortune
he had accumulated. By the marriage I was
contemplating I should disappoint these expectations,
for I could not suppose he would regard
as a good use of the money a disclaimer of the
fortune he wished to leave me. It was really
between him and Mr. Spence that I must
decide.
This was what presented itself to me clearly,
as my father and I sat together in the library
after my aunts had gone. It was past midnight,
and yet neither of us had thought apparently
of going to bed. He was smoking, and like
myself busy with his own reflections. It seemed
to me that he looked tired and worn. I had
observed it several times of late. Was I certain
that I was right in the choice I was tempted to
make? But if I did not marry Mr. Spence,
what was the prospect before me? What did
my father wish me to do with his money?
As though he understood my silent question,
he turned to me suddenly and said,—
"As you may remember, Virginia, I told you—it
must be more than two years ago, now—that
I was a very rich man. The same is true
to-day, though, owing to the severe depression
from which all classes of property have suffered
during that period, I am no longer as wealthy
as I was. Indeed, it has been only by unflagging
attention and care that I have been able to
avoid very serious losses. But let that pass.
Confidence is restored, and the worst is over.
My affairs are in a shape now where further
depreciation is well-nigh impossible, and you
will have all the money that you can possibly
need when I am gone."
He paused a moment, and I hastened to express
my concern that he had been worried.
"That is all done with now, I hope. I only
mentioned it in order that you should know what
you have to expect,—and because I have been
making up my accounts for the first of the year.
No one can tell what another year may bring
forth. I am not so strong as I was, I think."
He spoke without emotion; but there was
something in his tone that prompted me to
go to him, and kneeling by his side to take
his hand in mine.
"Are you not well, father?"
"Oh, yes. But when a man has worked hard
all his days and gets to be sixty-five years old, the
machine does not run so smoothly as it used.
That is all. Some day it will stop all of a sudden,
just as it did in my father's case. He was
worn out when he died; and that is what I shall
be. In this country, we most of us have only time
to get together our millions and die." He spoke
with a smile, and gently stroked my hair. "But
we expect our children to make a good use of
the leisure we have won for them. You begin
where I leave off, Virginia. I had hoped to be
able to see a great deal of you during the last
few years, but just at the moment when I was
about to lay aside the harness came the period
of depression. It is very difficult, in this
country, for parents to know their children intimately.
Neither party has time for the operation.
You have your interests, as well as I; and
what is more, I scarcely know what they are. I
am not complaining; I am merely stating facts.
If my life is spared a few years longer, we will
try to change all that. Before I die I should like
to see you happily married to some one who
is worthy of you. Nothing ever gave me so
much pain as to see you suffer at the time that
fellow deceived you,—nothing at least except
the thought of your becoming his wife. But
that is past, thank Heaven! and I think I am
right in saying that you have forgotten him long
since."
He talked in a half soliloquizing fashion,
in short, deliberate sentences, and looked up
to me as he finished, for a confirmation of
his opinion.
"A woman never forgets, father. But I am
very glad you saved me from marrying him."
"Yes, yes, it would have been madness," he
replied eagerly. "I could not have endured
the thought of that good-for-nothing squandering
my property. I should never have
relented, and I should have been in my grave
before this. But let by-gones be by-gones.
To-day you are older and wiser, and I have
confidence that you will keep the credit of our
name untarnished. It has taken three generations
of honest men to accumulate the fortune
you will inherit," he added proudly.
"But what do you wish me to do with it,
father?"
"That is for you to decide when I am gone.
I could tell you how to make money, and how
to keep it, perhaps; but how to spend it wisely
requires a different sort of talent than I possess.
I have told you, from the first, that it was to be
your life-work. Busy as I have been, I have
tried to place the means of understanding the
commercial value of money in your way, so that
you might not be wholly ignorant when the
time came to act."
"And it would be a bitter disappointment to
you, then, if I were to give it all up?"
"Give it up?" he glanced at me with a comical
expression, as though I had said something
preposterous. "You couldn't give it up if you
wanted to. It will come to you by my will. I
shall leave it all in your hands."
For a few moments I did not reply. Then I
turned to him and said:—
"You were speaking just now of wishing to
see me happily married, and you referred to Mr.
Dale."
"Well?"
"Don't be concerned, father. It is not of
him I wish to speak, except to say that though
I have been very grateful he is not my husband,
I do not believe I shall ever care for anybody
else in the same way. But I have had, this
very day, an offer of marriage from a man who
is in every sense worthy of me. Indeed, I am
not worthy of him."
"Of whom are you speaking?"
"Of Mr. Spence, father."
"Spence? I do not recall the name."
"You have met him only once, I think. He
came to the house one afternoon, about a year ago,
with that Mr. Barr who dines here sometimes."
"Oh!"
I cannot give a precise idea of that ejaculation.
It was a strange mixture of pleasantry
and consternation.
"He is by profession a poet,—and a philosopher.
His writings are highly thought of
among literary people, and he is an intimate
friend of Aunt Agnes," I said quietly.
"What answer did you give him?" asked my
father presently, with a weary air. He leaned
his head on his hand, and listened intently and
anxiously.
"I told him I would think the matter over,"
I replied.
"He is not the husband I would have chosen
for you, Virginia," he said, after a silence. "But
you must suit yourself. Now that you recall
him to me, I know who this Mr. Spence is. I
have seen his name in the newspapers, and a
few weeks ago I remember he delivered a lecture
before the Thursday Evening Club. It
was a visionary, unpractical address, I thought.
Several members spoke to me of it as such.
But there were one or two enthusiasts—as
there are everywhere—who extolled it as a
marvel of originality and cleverness. Are you
sure of his habits?"
"His habits ought to be good, for he is the
advocate of the theory of Moderation. It is to
that he devotes the greater part of his time.
Yes, father, I am sure of them."
"I remember now,—Moderation. That was
what he talked about. He is one of your so-called
reformers. He gets hold of an idea and
tries to fit the world to it. And you say you
wish to marry him, Virginia?"
"I have not said so. I don't know."
"If you take my advice, you will not. I
know nothing further of him than you have
told me. The better philosopher a man is, the
worse husband he is likely to make. Has he
anything to live upon?"
"Yes; enough to support us comfortably, I
believe. In fact, he does not wish me to take
any money from you."
"That shows him a more independent minded
fellow than I supposed. Humph! One literary
woman in the family ought to be enough.
Still, the great thing is that you should be suited.
We are not all cut after the same pattern, and if
you have a fancy for a husband of that type, I
shall not stand in the way. I interfered once,
but that was a very different matter. Satisfy
me that there is nothing objectionable against
this Mr. Spence, and if you wish to marry him
I shall not offer serious opposition. It is all
nonsense about your not being able to care for
anybody. If you like a man well enough to
become his wife, the rest will follow. I should
be glad to see you married."
"I like Mr. Spence very much; but it is his
theory of Moderation that interests me even
more than himself," I answered, uncertain how to
lead up to the condition of our marriage, which
I knew now would irritate my father greatly.
He had received the news of Mr. Spence's offer
much more favorably than I expected. It was
evident he wished me to marry some one.
"As you have said, father, I have interests of
my own of which you do not know. I have
given five hours almost every day during the
past year to the study of the principles of this
philosophy. I have found my field of usefulness
there, it seems to me. By continuing this
work and becoming the wife of Mr. Spence, I
feel that I shall be doing more good in the world
than I could in any other way. If you ask me
if I love Mr. Spence, candor compels me to say
that I do not. If you ask if I am particularly
happy at the prospect of marrying him, I must
say that I am not. But it seems to me the best
chance that is likely to offer. I respect him
thoroughly, and, as you say, the rest may follow.
A life devoted to a noble theory is better
suited to my tastes and capacities than the control
of a large fortune."
"You are a little morbid, Virginia," he interrupted.
"My original impression is confirmed.
This is no match for you. I warn you against
the danger of becoming addicted to fads and
isms. Your Aunt Agnes has made herself ridiculous
and alienated all her friends by just such
a course. I have not a word to say against
a thorough education, as you must well know;
but when a woman begins to talk about devoting
her life to the principles of philosophy,
'Look out!' say I. It is not natural. She needs
a new bonnet, and a few balls and parties. But
even supposing you marry this Socrates and become
as learned as he, how is that inconsistent
with taking care of your fortune?"
"I thought I told you, father," I said.
"Told me what?"
"That Mr. Spence objected to my fortune."
"Objected, did he? How is he to help himself?
Besides, the money is mine until I am
dead. If he is so infernally proud, he needn't
touch any of it until then. I fancy he might get
tired of waiting."
"You don't understand, father. Mr. Spence
wants me to agree never to touch any of it. He
doesn't think it right for people to keep more
than a certain amount, just enough to provide for
their actual needs. It is one of the principles
he believes in. It is a part of his system."
"Principles! System! Is the girl crazy?"
"It is opposed to all your ideas, I know," I
exclaimed earnestly, determined now that I had
entered on the matter to dispute it with vigor.
"But are you sure that you are in the right?
What is the use of so much money to a woman?
You want me to make the most of the fortune
it has taken you all your life to get together.
Is it not possible that in renouncing it I should
be doing that? New ideas have to encounter
opposition, but they are not all to be presumed
unsound on that account. There may be more
sense in those of Mr. Spence than you suppose.
By setting this example of moderation, I
may be able to give an impetus to truth that
will be of real service to mankind. Besides,
women are different from men, father. They
find more comfort and happiness in devotion to
something like this than in the practical details
of life. I have had some experience. I have
seen society, and know the weariness of a merely
social existence. As I have already told you,
I believe I should be more content with Mr.
Spence than with any one else. I need sympathy
and an interest. I am morbid, perhaps;
but there is every chance of my becoming
more so unless you let me have my way in
this matter. Leave your money to some deserving
charity or college, father, and let me marry
Mr. Spence."
"Deserving charity or college! That from
the lips of my own daughter! I have wanted
to interrupt you a dozen times to tell you how
foolish and senseless is the rubbish you were
talking. And now that I have heard you to the
end, I am speechless. You are crazy! I repeat it,
crazy! You are fit only for a convent or a lunatic
asylum. I had better find another heir."
He covered his face with his hands, and I
could see his whole form tremble.
"Father," I cried, "if I were only sure that
you are not mistaken!"
We sat without another word being spoken
for many minutes. At last he lay back in his
chair with the weary air intensified which I had
noticed when I told him of Mr. Spence's offer,
and said in a tone in harmony with that,—
"You have been brought up, Virginia, like
all American girls, to have your own way. I
have given you every indulgence and liberty.
Your smallest wish has been regarded. If I
could wipe out the past and begin anew, I feel
that I should act very differently. I should
wield a rod of iron, and teach my own flesh and
blood to obey by saying, 'Do this!' and 'You
shall not do that!' The result could be no worse
than it has been under the other system. Is the
judgment of the new generation so infallible," he
continued, "that it can afford to dispense with
obedience and filial respect altogether? You
have had one lesson already, Virginia, but you
have failed to profit by it. When that fortune-hunting,
idle dandy was whispering his pretty
speeches in your ear, was it your own good
sense that saved you from a miserable alliance?
No; if I had not for once in my life stepped in
and said, 'You do this thing at your own peril,'
and proved to you the paltry soul of the fellow,
what would you be to-day? Broken-hearted
and old before your time. But that was when
you were almost a child, and without experience.
I was made very unhappy, but I said to myself,
'She will grow wiser as she grows older.' And
I thought you had. In the multitude of my
business cares I have merely had time to observe
you in a general way. But I supposed the serious
and absorbed air which your face has worn
came from the interest of your studies, and that
those studies were fitting you for the work I
had planned for you. I wish now that you had
never touched a book in your life. Better in
my opinion to be the careless butterfly of society
than the fanatic. I never expected to live
to see my only child so blind to common-sense
as to wish to follow such a monstrous theory
as you have described. Money! Why, it is
the power and possibility of the world. But
what good are words? If you cannot see the
folly and unsoundness of it at a glance, it is
useless for me to talk. Go your own ways.
Marry whom you like. Not a dollar of my
money—"
He stopped as he realized the futility of his
threat, and covered his face again with his
hands.
Looking back over many years, it seems to
me at times incredible that I should have held
out so long against such entreaty and distress;
but it is to be said on the other hand that my
whole future happiness was involved in the
decision of the question. My natural obstinacy
had deepened as I listened to his words, and had
tended to counteract the affection and pity I felt
for him.
"If I were only sure that you are right!" I
repeated. "What you say about my education
is perfectly true. I have been brought up to have
my own way, but also, father, to have no counsel
but my own. If so much freedom has been given
me, was it not with the idea of teaching me to
make up my own mind about things? And if I
have made up my mind, and I feel my conscience
urge me to take a step which involves my happiness
for the rest of my life, why is it unfilial of
me to follow my own judgment? I have been
alone, and thrown upon my own responsibility,
ever since I was a child. I am not complaining.
I have had no mother; you have been busy
down-town, and my aunts never agree in their
advice. I have tried to think for myself. I have
chosen an interest in life to which I am ready
to devote my best energies, and in order to do
so more completely should, if you did not forbid,
marry a man who is in every way my
superior, and whom I thoroughly respect. I
am willing to give this all up to please you.
But I do not mean, father, that I think you
are in the right. I am no longer the child
I was when I wished to disobey you before.
Then I refused to yield, until you convinced
me that I was wrong. To-day I am prepared
to sacrifice my own wishes for your sake, but I
remain unconvinced. I will write to Mr. Spence
to-night, and tell him that I cannot be his wife.
I will resign my position as secretary of his Society,
and give up what you call fads and isms.
Only I shall expect for the future, father, that
you will tell me precisely what you wish me to
do, and let me do it. You must not deprive
me of my liberty of choice, and then treat me
just as if I were free. Do with me what you
will. Marry me to whom you please. I will
obey,—implicitly, unhesitatingly. Only take
away from me the responsibility once and for
all. I am weary of it."
I had spoken with anger and excitement.
My nerves were all unstrung by the events of
the past two days; and as I finished, my tears
burst forth. I wept with passionate sobs. My
father made no effort to comfort me. He sat
with his chin resting on his breast, weary and
sad.
"I did not mean to be disrespectful," I murmured
at last. "I am willing to do all that
you desire."
"You have said that you do not love this
man, Virginia."
"I love him as much as I shall ever love any
one else," I answered.
"I accept your sacrifice, my child. Some day
you will thank me. But write to-night. I shall
sleep better if I feel that it is done. Promise
me," he added, looking at me with a strange
eagerness that was pathetic, and made the tears
return to my eyes, but this time out of tenderness,—"promise
me that whatever happens, you
will accept the trust I am going to leave you."
I ran to his side, and kneeling, raised my eyes
to his,—"Forgive me, father! I promise faithfully."
Only a few words more need to be said concerning
this phase of my life. That night I wrote
to Mr. Spence. Gratitude and friendship will not
make up for the absence of love, but whatever
there can be of consolation in these substitutes I
sent to him. Why was it that as I penned the
lines which were to disappoint his hopes, I was
vaguely conscious that my interest in his theories
was already less? So difficult is it in life
to determine precisely how far our beliefs are
decided by our associations! But it is not to be
supposed that because I admit this after the lapse
of years, the consciousness of which I speak was
at that time more than a secret one, which I
shrank from confessing even to myself. Genuine
were the tears I shed in private for many
days. My life seemed to me a blank, and I had
lost the motive of action. For allowing my
father to be right, and the principles advocated
by Mr. Spence to be monstrous and absurd, I
had been too intimately connected with the system
not to feel a great void in my existence at
severing my relations with it. What was to take
its place?
I had to undergo, moreover, one or two disagreeable
interviews with my Aunt Agnes before
the matter was finally settled. In the intensity
of his disappointment, Mr. Spence applied to her
and asked her to endeavor to alter my resolution.
She sent for me, and though she did not disguise
her surprise that her favorite should wish to
marry at all, she was unequivocal in the expression
of her opinion that I should never get such
another chance. As I remained obdurate, she
accused me of a deliberate attempt to trifle with
his affections. I had already ruined the life of
one man of genius, she said, who though a wanderer
from the right path might reasonably have
become a noble worker but for my influence; and
now I was about to blight the happiness of one
whose equal was to be found only a few times in a
century. She even went to my father, and represented
to him the folly I would commit in refusing
such an offer. I was not present at the
interview; but Aunt Agnes, as she came out of
the library into the room where I was sitting,
looked angry and severe.
"Money, money, money! That is all your
father thinks of from morning until night. It
is wearing on him too. It is killing him by
inches."
"You are right, Aunt Agnes; he needs rest;
he looks tired out," I said, ignoring the first part
of her speech.
"It is his own fault. And now he wants to
educate you in the same school. Lucretia
Kingsley is correct,—oil and water are more
fit to be mated than you and Mr. Spence. You
have broken her heart, too, by your wanton
conduct, Virginia. Her sympathy for Mr.
Spence is very affecting."
"Pooh!" I answered, angered by her indifference
regarding my father; "she is crazy to
marry him herself. That is all the matter with
her."
This was the last effort Aunt Agnes made to
alter my resolution, but she saw fit to tell Aunt
Helen of my escapade at Mr. Barr's studio, who
came to me in horror. Her predictions were
about to be realized, she said. Notwithstanding
all her warnings, my name was associated with
a vulgar adventurer. "A handsome wretch as
I remember him," she added, "but—even on
your aunt's admission, who is none too nice in
her estimate of people—unprincipled, and with
low agrarian tastes."
A fortnight after my dismissal of Mr. Spence,
a misfortune befell me that banished all thoughts
save those of grief. My father was seized with
a sudden illness, and died within a few hours.
The doctors said the cause of his death was
disease of the heart, and that he had been
aware of the existence of the disorder for some
time. It was many days before I thought again
of what I was told after the funeral,—that I
was left by my father's will sole heiress to four
million dollars.