The sunset struck its hard red light through the fringe of leafless
trees to the westward, and gave their outlines that black definition
which a French school of landscape saw a few years ago, and now seems to
see no longer. In the whole scene there was the pathetic repose which we
feel in some dying day of the dying year, and a sort of impersonal
melancholy weighed me down as I dragged myself through the woods toward
that dreary November sunset.
Presently I came in sight of the place I was seeking, and partly because
of the insensate pleasure of having found it, and partly because of the
cheerful opening in the boscage made by the pool, which cleared its
space to the sky, my heart lifted. I perceived that it was not so late
as I had thought, and that there was much more of the day left than I
had supposed from the crimson glare in the west. I threw myself down on
one of the grassy gradines of the amphitheatre, and comforted myself
with the antiquity of the work, which was so great as to involve its
origin in a somewhat impassioned question among the local authorities.
Whether it was a Norse work, a temple for the celebration of the
earliest Christian, or the latest heathen, rites among the first
discoverers of New England, or whether it was a cockpit where the
English officers who were billeted in the old tavern near by fought
their mains at the time of our Revolution, it had the charm of a ruin,
and appealed to the fancy with whatever potency belongs to the
mouldering monuments of the past. The hands that shaped it were all
dust, and there was no record of the minds that willed it to prove that
it was a hundred, or that it was a thousand, years old. There were young
oaks and pines growing up to the border of the amphitheatre on all
sides; blackberry vines and sumach bushes overran the gradines almost to
the margin of the pool which filled the centre; at the edge of the water
some clumps of willow and white birch leaned outward as if to mirror
their tracery in its steely surface. But of the life that the thing
inarticulately recorded, there was not the slightest impulse left.
I began to think how everything ends at last. Love ends, sorrow ends,
and to our mortal sense everything that is mortal ends, whether that
which is spiritual has a perpetual effect beyond these eyes or not. The
very name of things passes with the things themselves, and
"Glory is like a circle in the water,
Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself,
Till by broad spreading, it disperse to naught."
But if fame ended, did not infamy end, too? If glory, why not shame?
What was it, I mused, that made an evil deed so much more memorable than
a good one? Why should a crime have so much longer lodgment in our
minds, and be of consequences so much more lasting than the sort of
action which is the opposite of a crime, but has no precise name with
us? Was it because the want of positive quality which left it nameless,
characterized its effects with a kind of essential debility? Was evil
then a greater force than good in the moral world? I tried to recall
personalities, virtuous and vicious, and I found a fatal want of
distinctness in the return of those I classed as virtuous, and a lurid
vividness in those I classed as vicious. Images, knowledges, concepts,
zigzagged through my brain, as they do when we are thinking, or believe
we are thinking; perhaps there is no such thing as we call thinking,
except when we are talking. I did not hold myself responsible in this
will-less revery for the question which asked itself, Whether, then,
evil and not good was the lasting principle, and whether that which
should remain recognizable to all eternity was not the good effect but
the evil effect?
Something broke the perfect stillness of the pool near the opposite
shore. A fish had leaped at some unseasonable insect on the surface, or
one of the overhanging trees had dropped a dead twig upon it, and in the
lazy doubt which it might be, I lay and watched the ever-widening circle
fade out into fainter and fainter ripples toward the shore, till it
weakened to nothing in the eye, and, so far as the senses were
concerned, actually ceased to be. The want of visible agency in it made
me feel it all the more a providential illustration; and because the
thing itself was so pretty, and because it was so apt as a case in
point, I pleased myself a great deal with it. Suddenly it repeated
itself; but this time I grew a little impatient of it, before the circle
died out in the wider circle of the pool. I said whimsically to myself
that this was rubbing it in; that I was convinced already, and needed no
further proof; and at the same moment the thing happened a third time.
Then I saw that there was a man standing at the top of the amphitheatre
just across from me, who was throwing stones into the water. He cast a
fourth pebble into the centre of the pool, and then a fifth and a sixth;
I began to wonder what he was throwing at; I thought it too childish for
him to be amusing himself with the circle that dispersed itself to
naught, after it had done so several times already. I was sure that he
saw something in the pool, and was trying to hit it, or frighten it. His
figure showed black against the sunset light, and I could not make it
out very well, but it held itself something like that of a workman, and
yet with a difference, with an effect as of some sort of discipline; and
I thought of an ex-recruit, returning to civil life, after serving his
five years in the army; though I do not know why I should have gone so
far afield for this notion; I certainly had never seen an ex-recruit,
and I did not really know how one would look. I rose up, and we both
stood still, as if he were abashed in his sport by my presence. The man
made a little cast forward with his hand, and I heard the rattle as of
pebbles dropped among the dead leaves.
Then he called over to me, "Is that you, Mr. March?"
"Yes," I called back, "what is wanted?"
"Oh, nothing. I was just looking for you." He did not move, and after a
moment I began to walk round the top of the amphitheatre toward him.
When I came near him I saw that he had a clean-shaven face, and he wore
a soft hat that seemed large for his close-cropped head; he had on a
sack coat buttoned to the throat, and of one dark color with his loose
trousers. I knew him now, but I did not know what terms to put my
recognition in, and I faltered. "What do you want with me?" I asked, as
if I did not know him.
"I was at your house," he answered, "and they told me that you had
walked out this way." He hesitated a moment, and then he added, rather
huskily, "You don't know me!"
"Yes," I said. "It is Tedham," and I held out my hand, with no definite
intention, I believe, but merely because I did know him, and this was
the usual form of greeting between acquaintances after a long
separation, or even a short one, for that matter. But he seemed to find
a special significance in my civility, and he took my hand and held it
silently, while he was trying to speak. Evidently, he could not, and I
said aimlessly, "What were you throwing at?"
"Nothing. I saw you lying down, over there, and I wanted to attract your
attention." He let my hand go, and looked at me apologetically.
"Oh! was that all?" I said. "I thought you saw something in the water."
"No," he answered, as if he felt the censure which I had not been able
to keep out of my voice.
I do not know why I should have chosen to take this simple fact as proof
of an abiding want of straight-forwardness in Tedham's nature. I do not
know why I should have expected him to change, or why I should have felt
authorized at that moment to renew his punishment for it. I certainly
had said and thought very often that he had been punished enough, and
more than enough. In fact, his punishment, like all the other
punishments that I have witnessed in life, seemed to me wholly out of
proportion to the offence; it seemed monstrous, atrocious, and when I
got to talking of it I used to become so warm that my wife would warn me
people would think I wanted to do something like Tedham myself if I went
on in that way about him. Yet here I was, at my very first encounter
with the man, after his long expiation had ended, willing to add at
least a little self-reproach to his suffering. I suppose, as nearly as I
can analyse my mood, I must have been expecting, in spite of all reason
and experience, that his anguish would have wrung that foible out of
him, and left him strong where it had found him weak. Tragedy befalls
the light and foolish as well as the wise and weighty natures, but it
does not render them wise and weighty; I had often made this sage
reflection, but I failed to apply it to the case before me now.
After waiting a little for the displeasure to clear away from my face,
Tedham smiled as if in humorous appreciation, and I perceived, as
nothing else could have shown me so well, that he was still the old
Tedham. There was an offer of propitiation in this smile, too, and I did
not like that, either; but I was touched when I saw a certain hope die
out of his eye at the failure of his appeal to me.
"Who told you I was here?" I asked, more kindly. "Did you see Mrs.
March?"
"No, I think it must have been your children. I found them in front of
your house, and I asked them for you, without going to the door."
"Oh," I said, and I hid the disappointment I felt that he had not seen
my wife; for I should have liked such a leading as her behavior toward
him would have given me for my own. I was sure she would have known him
at once, and would not have told him where to find me, if she had not
wished me to be friendly with him.
"I am glad to see you," I said, in the absence of this leading; and then
I did not know what else to say. Tedham seemed to me to be looking very
well, but I could not notify this fact to him, in the circumstances; he
even looked very handsome; he had aged becomingly, and a clean-shaven
face suited him as well as the full beard he used to wear; but I could
speak of these things as little as of his apparent health. I did not
feel that I ought even to ask him what I could do for him. I did not
want to have anything to do with him, and, besides, I have always
regarded this formula as tantamount to saying that you cannot, or will
not, do anything for the man you employ it upon.
The silence which ensued was awkward, but it was better than anything I
could think of to say, and Tedham himself seemed to feel it so. He said,
presently, "Thank you. I was sure you would not take my coming to you
the wrong way. In fact I had no one else to come to—after I——" Tedham
stopped, and then, "I don't know," he went on, "whether you've kept run
of me; I don't suppose you have; I got out to-day at noon."
I could not say anything to that, either; there were very few openings
for me, it appeared, in the conversation, which remained one-sided as
before.
"I went to the cemetery," he continued. "I wanted to realize that those
who had died were dead, it was all one thing as long as I was in there;
everybody was dead; and then I came on to your house."
The house he meant was a place I had taken for the summer a little out
of town, so that I could run in to business every day, and yet have my
mornings and evenings in the country; the fall had been so mild that we
were still eking out the summer there.
"How did you know where I was staying?" I asked, with a willingness to
make any occasion serve for saying something.
Tedham hesitated. "Well, I stopped at the office in Boston on my way
out, and inquired. I was sure nobody would know me there." He said this
apologetically, as if he had been taking a liberty, and explained: "I
wanted to see you very much, and I was afraid that if I let the day go
by I should miss you somehow."
"Oh, all right," I said.
We had remained standing at the point where I had gone round to meet
him, and it seemed, in the awkward silence that now followed, as if I
were rooted there. I would very willingly have said something leading,
for my own sake, if not for his, but I had nothing in mind but that I
had better keep there, and so I waited for him to speak. I believed he
was beating about the bush in his own thoughts, to find some indirect or
sinuous way of getting at what he wanted to know, and that it was only
because he failed that he asked bluntly, "March, do you know where my
daughter is?"
"No, Tedham, I don't," I said, and I was glad that I could say it both
with honesty and with compassion. I was truly sorry for the man; in a
way, I did pity him; at the same time I did not wish to be mixed up in
his affairs; in washing my hands of them, I preferred that there should
be no stain of falsehood left on them.
"Where is my sister-in-law?" he asked next, and now at least I could not
censure him for indirection.
"I haven't met her for several years," I answered. "I couldn't say from
my own knowledge where she was."
"But you haven't heard of her leaving Somerville?"
"No, I haven't."
"Do you ever meet her husband?"
"Yes, sometimes, on the street; but I think not lately; we don't often
meet."
"The last time you saw her, did she speak of me?"
"I don't know—I believe—yes. It was a good many years ago."
"Was she changed toward me at all?"
This was a hard question to answer, but I thought I had better answer it
with the exact truth. "No, she seemed to feel just the same as ever
about it."
I do not believe Tedham cared for this, after all, though he made a show
of having to collect himself before he went on. "Then you think my
daughter is with her?"
"I didn't say that. I don't know anything about it."
"March," he urged, "don't you think I have a right to see my
daughter?"
"That's something I can't enter into, Tedham."
"Good God!" said the man. "If you were in my place, wouldn't you want to
see her? You know how fond I used to be of her; and she is all that I
have got left in the world."
I did indeed remember Tedham's affection for his daughter, whom I
remembered as in short frocks when I last saw them together. It was
before my own door in town. Tedham had driven up in a smart buggy behind
a slim sorrel, and I came out, at a sign he made me through the
bow-window with his whip, and saw the little maid on the seat there
beside him. They were both very well dressed, though still in mourning
for the child's mother, and the whole turnout was handsomely set up.
Tedham was then about thirty-five, and the child looked about nine. The
color of her hair was the color of his fine brown beard, which had as
yet no trace of gray in it; but the light in her eyes was another light,
and her smile, which was of the same shape as his, was of another
quality, as she leaned across him and gave me her pretty little gloved
hand with a gay laugh. "I should think you would be afraid of such a
fiery sorrel dragon as that," I said, in recognition of the colt's
lifting and twitching with impatience as we talked.
"Oh, I'm not afraid with papa!" she said, and she laughed again as he
took her hand in one of his and covered it out of sight.
I recalled, now, looking at him there in the twilight of the woods, how
happy they had both seemed that sunny afternoon in the city square, as
they flashed away from my door and glanced back at me and smiled
together. I went into the house and said to my wife with a formulation
of the case which pleased me, "If there is anything in the world that
Tedham likes better than to ride after a good horse, it is to ride after
a good horse with that little girl of his." "Yes," said my wife, "but a
good horse means a good deal of money; even when a little girl goes with
it." "That is so," I assented, "but Tedham has made a lot lately in real
estate, they say, and I don't know what better he could do with his
money; or, I don't believe he does." We said no more, but we both
felt, with the ardor of young parents, that it was a great virtue, a
saving virtue, in Tedham to love his little girl so much; I was
afterward not always sure that it was. Still, when Tedham appealed to me
now in the name of his love for her, he moved my heart, if not my
reason, in his favor; those old superstitions persist.
"Why, of course, you want to see her. But I couldn't tell you where she
is."
"You could find out for me."
"I don't see how," I said; but I did see how, and I knew as well as he
what his next approach would be. I felt strong against it, however, and
I did not perceive the necessity of being short with him in a matter not
involving my own security or comfort.
"I could find out where Hasketh is," he said, naming the husband of his
sister-in-law; "but it would be of no use for me to go there. They
wouldn't see me." He put this like a question, but I chose to let it be
its own answer, and he went on. "There is no one that I can ask to act
for me in the matter but you, and I ask you, March, to go to my
sister-in-law for me."
I shook my head. "That I can't do, Tedham."
"Ah!" he urged, "what harm could it do you?"
"Look here, Tedham!" I said. "I don't know why you feel authorized to
come to me at all. It is useless your saying that there is no one else.
You know very well that the authorities, some of them—the
chaplain—would go and see Mrs. Hasketh for you. He could have a great
deal more influence with her than any one else could, if he felt like
saying a good word for you. As far as I am concerned, you have expiated
your offence fully; but I should think you yourself would see that you
ought not to come to me with this request; or you ought to come to me
last of all men."
"It is just because of that part of my offence which concerned you that
I come to you. I knew how generous you were, and after you told me that
you had no resentment—I acknowledge that it is indelicate, if you
choose to look at it in that light, but a man like me can't afford to
let delicacy stand in his way. I don't want to flatter you, or get you
to do this thing for me on false pretences. But I thought that if you
went to Mrs. Hasketh for me, she would remember that you had overlooked
something, and she would be more disposed to—to—be considerate."
"I can't do it, Tedham," I returned. "It would be of no use. Besides, I
don't like the errand. I'm not sure that I have any business to
interfere. I am not sure that you have any right to disturb the shape
that their lives have settled into. I'm sorry for you, I pity you with
all my heart. But there are others to be considered as well as you.
And—simply, I can't."
"How do you know," he entreated, "that my daughter wouldn't be as glad
to see me as I to see her?"
"I don't know it. I don't know anything about it. That's the reason I
can't have anything to do with it. I can't justify myself in meddling
with what doesn't concern me, and in what I'm not sure but I should do
more harm than good. I must say good-night. It's getting late, and they
will be anxious about me at home." My heart smote me as I spoke the last
word, which seemed a cruel recognition of Tedham's homelessness. But I
held out my hand to him for parting, and braced myself against my inward
weakness.
He might well have failed to see my hand. At any rate he did not take
it. He turned and started to walk out of the woods by my side. We came
presently to some open fields. Beyond them was the road, and after we
had climbed the first wall, and found ourselves in a somewhat lighter
place, he began to speak again.
"I thought," he said, "that if you had forgiven me, I could take it as a
sign that I had suffered enough to satisfy everybody."
"We needn't dwell upon my share in the matter, Tedham," I answered, as
kindly as I could. "That was entirely my own affair."
"You can't think," he pursued, "how much your letter was to me. It came
when I was in perfect despair—in those awful first days when it seemed
as if I could not bear it, and yet death itself would be no relief.
Oh, they don't know how much we suffer! If they did, they would
forgive us anything, everything! Your letter was the first gleam of hope
I had. I don't know how you came to write it!"
"Why, of course, Tedham, I felt sorry for you—"
"Oh, did you, did you?" He began to cry, and as we hurried along over
the fields, he sobbed with the wrenching, rending sobs of a man. "I
knew you did, and I believe it was God himself that put it into your
heart to write me that letter and take off that much of the blame from
me. I said to myself that if I ever lived through it, I would try to
tell you how much you had done for me. I don't blame you for refusing to
do what I've asked you now. I can see how you may think it isn't best,
and I thank you all the same for that letter. I've got it here." He took
a letter out of his breast-pocket, and showed it to me. "It isn't the
first time I've cried over it."
I did not say anything, for my heart was in my throat, and we stumbled
along in silence till we climbed the last wall, and stood on the
sidewalk that skirted the suburban highway. There, under the
street-lamp, we stopped a moment, and it was he who now offered me his
hand for parting. I took it, and we said, together, "Well, good-by," and
moved in different directions. I knew very well that I should turn back,
and I had not gone a hundred feet away when I faced about. He was
shambling off into the dusk, a most hapless figure. "Tedham!" I called
after him.
"Well?" he answered, and he halted instantly; he had evidently known
what I would do as well as I had.
We reapproached each other, and when we were again under the lamp I
asked, a little awkwardly, "Are you in need of money, Tedham?"
"I've got my ten years' wages with me," he said, with a lightness that
must have come from his reviving hope in me. He drew his hand out of his
pocket, and showed me the few dollars with which the State inhumanly
turns society's outcasts back into the world again.
"Oh, that won't do." I said. "You must let me lend you something."
"Thank you," he said, with perfect simplicity. "But you know I can't
tell when I shall be able to pay you."
"Oh, that's all right." I gave him a ten-dollar note which I had loose
in my pocket; it was one that my wife had told me to get changed at the
grocery near the station, and I had walked off to the old temple, or the
old cockpit, and forgotten about it.
Tedham took the note, but he said, holding it in his hand, "I would a
million times rather you would let me go home with you and see Mrs.
March a moment."
"I can't do that, Tedham," I answered, not unkindly, I hope. "I know
what you mean, and I assure you that it wouldn't be the least use. It's
because I feel so sure that my wife wouldn't like my going to see Mrs.
Hasketh, that I—"
"Yes, I know that," said Tedham. "That is the reason why I should like
to see Mrs. March. I believe that if I could see her, I could convince
her."
"She wouldn't see you, my dear fellow," said I, strangely finding myself
on these caressing terms with him. "She entirely approved of what I did,
the letter I wrote you, but I don't believe she will ever feel just as I
do about it. Women are different, you know."
"Yes," he said, drawing a long, quivering breath.
We stood there, helpless to part. He did not offer to leave me, and I
could not find it in my heart to abandon him. After a most painful time,
he drew another long breath, and asked, "Would you be willing to let me
take the chances?"
"Why, Tedham," I began, weakly; and upon that he began walking with me
again.
I went to my wife's room, after I reached the house, and faced her with
considerable trepidation. I had to begin rather far off, but I certainly
began in a way to lead up to the fact. "Isabel," I said, "Tedham is out
at last." I had it on my tongue to say poor Tedham, but I suppressed the
qualification in actual speech as likely to prove unavailing, or worse.
"Is that what kept you!" she demanded, instantly. "Have you seen him?"
"Yes," I admitted. I added, "Though I am afraid I was rather late,
anyway."
"I knew it was he, the moment you spoke," she said, rising on the lounge
where she had been lying, and sitting up on it; with the book she had
been reading shut on her thumb, she faced me across the table where her
lamp stood. "I had a presentiment when the children said there was some
strange-looking man here, asking for you, and that they had told him
where to find you. I couldn't help feeling a little uneasy about it.
What did he want with you, Basil?"
"Well, he wanted to know where his daughter was."
"You didn't tell him!"
"I didn't know. Then he wanted me to go to Mrs. Hasketh and find out."
"You didn't say you would?"
"I said most decidedly I wouldn't," I returned, and I recalled my
severity to Tedham in refusing his prayer with more satisfaction than it
had given me at the time. "I told him that I had no business to
interfere, and that I was not sure it would be right even for me to
meddle with the course things had taken." I was aware of weakening my
case as I went on; I had better left her with a dramatic conception of a
downright and relentless refusal.
"I don't see why you felt called upon to make excuses to him, Basil. His
impudence in coming to you, of all men, is perfectly intolerable. I
suppose it was that sentimental letter you wrote him."
"You didn't think it sentimental at the time, my dear. You approved of
it."
"I didn't approve of it, Basil; but if you felt so strongly that you
ought to do it, I felt that I ought to let you. I have never interfered
with your sense of duty, and I never will. But I am glad that you didn't
feel it your duty to that wretch to go and make more trouble on his
account. He has made quite enough already; and it wasn't his fault that
you were not tried and convicted in his place."
"There wasn't the slightest danger of that—"
"He tried to put the suspicion on you, and to bring the disgrace on your
wife and children."
"Well, my dear, we agreed to forget all that long ago. And I don't
think—I never thought—that Tedham would have let the suspicion rest on
me. He merely wanted to give it that turn, when the investigation began,
so as to gain time to get out to Canada."
My wife looked at me with a glance in which I saw tender affection
dangerously near contempt. "You are a very forgiving man, Basil," she
said, and I looked down sheepishly. "Well, at any rate, you have had the
sense not to mix yourself up in his business. Did he pretend that he
came straight to you, as soon as he got out? I suppose he wanted you to
believe that he appealed to you before he tried anybody else."
"Yes, he stopped at the Reciprocity office to ask for my address, and
after he had visited the cemetery he came on out here. And, if you must
know, I think Tedham is still the old Tedham. Put him behind a good
horse, with a pocketful of some one else's money, in a handsome suit of
clothes, and a game-and-fish dinner at Tafft's in immediate prospect,
and you couldn't see any difference between the Tedham of to-day and the
Tedham of ten years ago, except that the actual Tedham is clean-shaved
and wears his hair cut rather close."
"Basil!"
"Why do you object to the fact? Did you imagine he had changed
inwardly?"
"He must have suffered."
"But does suffering change people? I doubt it. Certain material
accessories of Tedham's have changed. But why should that change Tedham?
Of course, he has suffered, and he suffers still. He threw out some
hints of what he had been through that would have broken my heart if I
hadn't hardened it against him. And he loves his daughter still, and he
wants to see her, poor wretch."
"I suppose he does!" sighed my wife.
"He would hardly take no for an answer from me, when I said I wouldn't
go to the Haskeths for him; and when I fairly shook him off, he wanted
me to ask you to go."
"And what did you say?" she asked, not at all with the resentment I had
counted upon equally with the possible pathos; you never can tell in the
least how any woman will take anything, which is perhaps the reason why
men do not trust women more.
"I told him that it would not be the smallest use to ask you; that you
had forgiven that old affair as well as I had, but that women were
different, and that I knew you wouldn't even see him."
"Well, Basil, I don't know what right you had to put me in that odious
light," said my wife.
"Why, good heavens! Would you have seen him?"
"I don't know whether I would or not. That's neither here nor there. I
don't think it was very nice of you to shift the whole responsibility on
me."
"How did I do that? It seems to me that I kept the whole responsibility
myself."
"Yes, altogether too much. What became of him, then?"
"We walked along a little farther, and then—"
"Then, what? Where is the man?"
"He's down in the parlor," I answered hardily, in the voice of some one
else.
My wife stood up from the lounge, and I rose, too, for whatever penalty
she chose to inflict.
"Well, Basil, that is what I call a very cowardly thing."
"Yes, my dear, it is; I ought to have protected you against his appeal.
But you needn't see him. It's practically the same as if he had not come
here. I can send him away."
"And you call that practically the same! No, I am the one that will
have to do the refusing now, and it is all off your shoulders. And you
knew I was not feeling very well, either! Basil, how could you?"
"I don't know. The abject creature drove me out of my senses. I suppose
that if I had respected him more, or believed in him more, I should have
had more strength to refuse him. But his limpness seemed to impart
itself to me, and I—I gave way. But really you needn't see him, Isabel.
I can tell him we have talked it over, and I concluded, entirely of
myself, that it was best for you not to meet him, and—"
"He would see through that in an instant. And if he is still the false
creature you think he is, we owe him the truth, more than any other kind
of man. You must understand that, Basil!"
"Then you are going to—"
"Don't speak to me, Basil, please," she said, and with an air of high
offence she swept out of the room, and out to the landing of the stairs.
There she hesitated a moment, and put her hand to her hair,
mechanically, to feel if it were in order, and then she went on
downstairs without further faltering. It was I who descended slowly, and
with many misgivings.
Tedham was sitting in the chair I had shown him when I brought him in,
and in the half-light of one gas-burner in the chandelier he looked,
with his rough, clean clothes, and his slouch hat lying in his lap, like
some sort of decent workingman; his features, refined by the mental
suffering he had undergone, and the pallor of a complexion so seldom
exposed to the open air, gave him the effect of a workingman just out of
the hospital. His eyes were deep in their sockets, and showed fine
shadows in the overhead light, and I must say he looked very
interesting.
At the threshold my wife paused again; then she went forward, turning
the gas up full as she passed under the chandelier, and gave him her
hand, where he had risen from his chair.
"I am glad to see you, Mr. Tedham," she said; and I should have found my
astonishment overpowering, I dare say, if I had not felt that I was so
completely in the hands of Providence, when she added, "Won't you come
out to dinner with us? We were just going to sit down, when Mr. March
came in. I never know when he will be back, when he starts off on these
Saturday afternoon tramps of his."
The children seemed considerably mystified at the appearance of our
guest, but they had that superior interest in the dinner appropriate to
their years, and we got through the ordeal, in which, I believe, I
suffered more than any one else, much better than I could have hoped. I
could not help noting in Tedham a certain strangeness to the use of a
four-pronged fork, at first, but he rapidly overcame this; and if it had
not been for a terrible moment when, after one of the courses, he began,
mechanically, to scrape his plate with his knife, there would not have
been anything very odd in his behavior, or anything to show that it was
the first dinner in polite society that he had taken for so many years.
The man's mind had apparently stiffened more than his body. It used to
be very agile, if light, but it was not agile now. It worked slowly
toward the topics which we found with difficulty, in our necessity of
avoiding the only topics of real interest between us, and I could
perceive that his original egotism, intensified by the long years in
which he had only himself for company, now stood in the way of his
entering into the matters brought forward, though he tried to do so.
They were mostly in the form of reminiscences of this person and that
whom we had known in common, and even in this shape they had to be very
carefully handled so as not to develop anything leading. The thing that
did most to relieve the embarrassment of the time was the sturdy hunger
Tedham showed, and his delight in the cooking; I suppose that I cannot
make others feel the pathos I found in this.
After dinner we shut the children into the library, and kept Tedham with
us in the parlor.
My wife began at once to say, "Mr. March has told me why you wanted to
see me, Mr. Tedham."
"Yes," he said, as if he were afraid to say more lest he should injure
his cause.
"I think that it would not be the least use for me to go to Mrs.
Hasketh. In the first place I do not know her very well, and I have not
seen her for years, I am not certain she would see me."
Tedham turned the hollows of his eyes upon my wife, and asked, huskily,
"Won't you try?"
"Yes," she answered, most unexpectedly to me, "I will try to see her.
But if I do see her, and she refuses to tell me anything about your
daughter, what will you do? Of course, I shall have to tell her I come
from you, and for you."
"I thought," Tedham ventured, with a sort of timorous slyness, "that
perhaps you might approach it casually, without any reference to me."
"No, I couldn't do that," my wife said.
He went on as if he had not heard her: "If she did not know that the
inquiries were made in my behalf, she might be willing to say whether my
daughter was with her."
There was in this suggestion a quality of Tedham's old insinuation, but
coarser, inferior, as if his insinuation had degenerated into something
like mere animal cunning. I felt rather ashamed for him, but to my
surprise, my wife seemed only to feel sorry, and did not repel his
suggestion in the way I had thought she would.
"No," she said, "that wouldn't do. She has kept account of the time, you
may be sure, and she would ask me at once if I was inquiring in your
behalf, and I should have to tell her the truth."
"I didn't know," he returned, "but you might evade the point, somehow.
So much being at stake," he added, as if explaining.
Still my wife was not severe with him. "I don't understand, quite," she
said.
"Being the turning-point in my life, I can't begin to do anything, to be
anything, till I have seen my daughter. I don't know where to find
myself. If I could see her, and she did not cast me off, then I should
know where I was. Or, if she did, I should. You understand that."
"But, of course, there is another point of view."
"My daughter's?"
"Mrs. Hasketh's."
"I don't care for Mrs. Hasketh. She did what she has done for the
child's sake. It was the best thing for the child at the time—the only
thing; I know that. But I agreed to it because I had to."
He continued: "I consider that I have expiated the wrong I did. There is
no sense in the whole thing, if I haven't. They might as well have let
me go in the beginning. Don't you think that ten years out of my life is
enough for a thing that I never intended to go as far as it did, and a
thing that I was led into, partly, for the sake of others? I have tried
to reason it out, and not from my own point of view at all, and that is
the way I feel about it. Is it to go on forever, and am I never to be
rid of the consequences of a single act? If you and Mr. March could
condone—"
"Oh, you mustn't reason from us," my wife broke in. "We are very silly
people, and we do not look at a great many things as others do. You have
got to reckon with the world at large."
"I have reckoned with the world at large, and I have paid the
reckoning. But why shouldn't my daughter look at this thing as you do?"
Instead of answering, my wife asked, "When did you hear from her last?"
Tedham took a few thin, worn letters from his breast-pocket "There is
Mr. March's letter," he said, laying one on his knee. He handed my wife
another.
She read it, and asked, "May Mr. March see it?"
Tedham nodded, and I took the little paper in turn. The letter was
written in a child's stiff, awkward hand. It was hardly more than a
piteous cry of despairing love. The address was Mrs. Hasketh's, in
Somerville, and the date was about three months after Tedham's
punishment began. "Is that the last you have heard from her?" I asked.
Tedham nodded as he took the letter from me.
"But surely you have heard something more about her in all this time?"
my wife pursued.
"Once from Mrs. Hasketh, to make me promise that I would leave the child
to her altogether, and not write to her, or ask to see her. When I went
to the cemetery to-day, I did not know but I should find her grave,
too."
"Well, it is cruel!" cried my wife. "I will go and see Mrs. Hasketh,
but—you ought to feel yourself that it's hopeless."
"Yes," he admitted. "There isn't much chance unless she should happen to
think the same way you do: that I had suffered enough, and that it was
time to stop punishing me."
My wife looked compassionately at him, and she began with a sympathy
that I have not always known her to show more deserving people, "If it
were a question of that alone it would be very easy. But suppose your
daughter were so situated that it would be—disadvantageous to her to
have it known that you were her father?"
"You mean that I have no right to mend my broken-up life—what there is
left of it—by spoiling hers? I have said that to myself. But then, on
the other hand, I have had to ask myself whether I had any right to keep
her from choosing for herself about it. I sha'n't force myself on her. I
expect to leave her free. But if the child cares for me, as she used to,
hasn't that love—not mine for her, but hers for me—got some rights
too?"
His voice sank almost to a hush, and the last word was scarcely more
than a breathing. "All I want is to know where she is, and to let her
know that I am in the world, and where she can find me. I think she
ought to have a chance to decide."
"I am afraid Mrs. Hasketh may think it would be better, for her sake,
not to have the chance," my wife sighed, and she turned her look from
Tedham upon me, as if she wished me rather than him to answer.
"The only way to find out is to ask her," I answered, non-committally,
and rather more lightly than I felt about it. In fact, the turn the
affair had taken interested me greatly. It involved that awful mystery
of the ties by which, unless we are born of our fathers and mothers for
nothing more than the animals are, we are bound to them in all the
things of life, in duty and in love transcending every question of
interest and happiness. The parents' duty to the children is obvious and
plain, but the child's duty to its parents is something subtler and more
spiritual. It is to be more delicately, more religiously, regarded. No
one, without impiety, can meddle with it from the outside, or interfere
in its fulfilment. This and much more I said to my wife when we came to
talk the matter over after Tedham left us. Above all, I urged something
that came to me so forcibly at the moment that I said I had always
thought it, and perhaps I really believed that I had. "Why should we try
to shield people from fate? Isn't that always wrong? One is fated to be
born the child of a certain father, and one can no more escape the
consequences of his father's misdeeds than the doer himself can. Perhaps
the pain and the shame come from the wish and the attempt to do so, more
than from the fact itself. The sins of the fathers shall be visited upon
the children. But the children are innocent of evil, and this visitation
must be for their good, and will be, if they bear it willingly."
"Well, don't try to be that sort of blessing to your children, Basil,"
said my wife, personalizing the case, as a woman must.
After that we tried to account to each other for having consented to do
what Tedham asked us. Perhaps we accused each other somewhat for doing
it.
"I didn't know, my dear, but you were going to ask him to come and stay
with us," I said.
"I did want to," she replied. "It seemed so forlorn, letting him go out
into the night, and find a place for himself, when we could just as well
have let him stay as not. Why shouldn't we have offered him a bed for
the night, as we would any other acquaintance?"
"Well, you must allow that the circumstances were peculiar!"
"But if he was sentenced to pay a certain penalty, and has paid it, why,
as he said, shouldn't we stop punishing him?"
"I suppose we can't. There seems to be an instinctive demand for eternal
perdition, for hell, in the human heart," I suggested.
"Well, then, I believe that your instinct, Basil—"
"Oh, I don't claim it, exclusively!"
"Is a survival of savagery, and the sooner we get rid of it the better.
How queer he seems. It is the old Tedham, but all faded in—or out."
"Yes, he affected me like an etching of himself from a wornout plate.
Still, I'm afraid there's likeness enough left to make trouble, yet. I
hope you realize what you have gone in for, Isabel?"
She answered from the effort that I could see she was making, to brace
herself already for the work before us:
"Well, we must do this because we can't help doing it, and because,
whatever happens, we had no right to refuse. You must come with me,
Basil!"
"I? To Mrs. Hasketh's?"
"Certainly. I will do the talking, but I shall depend upon your moral
support. We will go over to Somerville to-morrow afternoon. We had
better not lose any time."
"To-morrow is Sunday."
"So much the better. They will be sure to be at home, if they're there
at all, yet."
She said they, but I knew that she did not expect poor old Hasketh
really to count in the matter, any more than she expected me to do so.
The Haskeths lived in a house that withdrew itself behind tall garden
trees in a large lot sloping down the hillside, in one of the quieter
old streets of their suburb. The trees were belted in by a board fence,
painted a wornout white, as far as it was solid, which was to the height
of one's shoulder; there it opened into a panel work of sticks crossed
X-wise, which wore a coat of aged green; the strip above them was set
with a bristling row of rusty nails, which were supposed to keep out
people who could perfectly well have gone in at the gate as we did.
There was a brick walk from the gate to the door, which was not so far
back as I remembered it (perhaps because the leaves were now off the
trees), and there was a border of box on either side of the walk.
Altogether there was an old-fashioned keeping in the place which I
should have rather enjoyed if I had been coming on any other errand; but
now it imparted to me a notion of people set in their ways, of something
severe, something hopelessly forbidding.
I do not think there had ever been much intimacy between the Tedhams and
the Haskeths, before Tedham's calamity came upon him. But Mrs. Hasketh
did not refuse her share of it. She came forward, and probably made her
husband come forward, in Tedham's behalf, and do what hopelessly could
be done to defend him where there was really no defence, and the only
thing to be attempted was to show circumstances that might perhaps tend
to the mitigation of his sentence. I do not think they did. Tedham had
confessed himself and had been proven such a thorough rogue, and the
company had lately suffered so much through operations like his, that,
even if it could have had mercy, as an individual may, mercy was felt to
be bad morals, and the case was unrelentingly pushed. His sentence was
of those sentences which an eminent jurist once characterized as rather
dramatic; it was pronounced not so much in relation to his particular
offence, as with the purpose of striking terror into all offenders like
him, who were becoming altogether too common. He was made to suffer for
many other peculators, who had been, or were about to be, and was given
the full penalty. I was in court when it was pronounced with great
solemnity by the judge, who read him a lecture in doing so; I could have
read the judge another, for I could not help feeling that it was, more
than all the sentences I had ever heard pronounced, wholly out of
keeping with the offence. I met Hasketh coming out of the court-room,
and I said that I thought it was terribly severe. He agreed with me, and
as I knew that he and Tedham had never liked each other, I inferred a
kindliness in him which made me his friend, in the way one is the friend
of a man one never meets. He was a man of few words, and he now simply
said, "It was unjust," and we parted.
For several months after Tedham's conviction, I did not think we ought
to intrude upon the Haskeths; but then my wife and I both felt that we
ought, in decency, to make some effort to see them. They seemed pleased,
but they made us no formal invitation to come again, and we never did.
That day, however, I caught a glimpse of Tedham's little girl, as she
flitted through the hall, after we were seated in the parlor; she was in
black, a forlorn little shadow in the shadow; and I recalled now, as we
stood once more on the threshold of the rather dreary house, a certain
gentleness of bearing in the child, which I found infinitely pathetic,
at that early moment of her desolation. She had something of poor
Tedham's own style and grace, too, which had served him so ill, and this
heightened the pathos for me. In that figure I had thought of his
daughter ever since, as often as I had thought of her at all; which was
not very often, to tell the truth, after the first painful impression of
Tedham's affair began to die away in me, or to be effaced by the
accumulating cares and concerns of my own life. But now that we had
returned into the presence of that bitter sorrow, as it were, the little
thing reappeared vividly to me in just the way I had seen her so long
ago. My sense of her forlornness, of her most hapless orphanhood, was
intensified by the implacable hate with which Mrs. Hasketh had then
spoken of her father, in telling us that the child was henceforth to
bear her husband's name, and had resentfully scorned the merit Tedham
tried to make of giving her up to them. "And if I can help it," she had
ended, with a fierceness I had never forgotten, "she shall not hear him
mentioned again, or see him as long as I live."
My wife and I now involuntarily dropped our voices, or rather they sank
into our throats, as we sat waiting in the dim parlor, after the maid
took our cards to Mr. and Mrs. Hasketh. We tried to make talk, but we
could not, and we were funereally quiet, when Hasketh came pottering and
peering in, and shook hands with both of us. He threw open half a blind
at one of the windows, and employed himself in trying to put up the
shade, to gain time, as I thought, before he should be obliged to tell
us that his wife could not see us. Then he came to me, and asked, "Won't
you let me take your hat?" as such people do, in expression of a vague
hospitality; and I let him take it, and put it mouth down on the marble
centre-table, beside the large, gilt-edged, black-bound family Bible. He
drew a chair near me, in a row with my wife and myself, and said, "It is
quite a number of years since we met, Mrs. March," and he looked across
me at her.
"Yes, I am almost afraid to think how many," she answered.
"Family well?"
"Yes, our children are both very well, Mr. Hasketh. You seem to be
looking very well, too."
"Thank you, I have nothing to complain of. I am not so young as I was.
But that is about all."
"I hope Mrs. Hasketh is well?"
"Yes, thank you, she is quite well, for her. She is never very strong.
She will be down in a moment."
"Oh, I shall be so glad to see her."
The conversation, which might be said to have flagged from the
beginning, stopped altogether at this point, and though I was prompted
by several looks from my wife to urge it forward, I could think of
nothing to do so with, and we sat without speaking till we heard the
stir of skirts on the stairs in the hall outside, and then my wife said,
"Ah, that is Mrs. Hasketh."
I should have known it was Mrs. Hasketh without this sort of
anticipation, I think, even if I had never seen her before, she was so
like my expectation of what that sort of woman would be in the lapse of
time, with her experience of life. The severity that I had seen come and
go in her countenance in former days was now so seated that she had no
other expression, and I may say without caricature that she gave us a
frown of welcome. That is, she made us feel, in spite of a darkened
countenance, that she was really willing to see us in her house, and
that she took our coming as a sign of amity. I suppose that the
induration of her spirit was the condition of her being able to bear at
all what had been laid on her to bear, and her burden had certainly not
been light.
At her appearance her husband, without really stirring at all, had the
effect of withdrawing into the background, where, indeed, I tacitly
joined him; and the two ladies remained in charge of the drama, while he
and I conversed, as it were, in dumb show. Apart from my sympathy with
her in the matter, I was very curious to see how my wife would play her
part, which seemed to me far the more difficult of the two, since she
must make all the positive movements.
After some civilities so obviously perfunctory that I admired the force
of mind in the women who uttered them, my wife said, "Mrs. Hasketh, we
have come on an errand that I know will cause you pain, and I needn't
say that we haven't come willingly."
"Is it about Mr. Tedham?" asked Mrs. Hasketh, and I remembered now that
she had always used as much ceremony in speaking of him; it seemed
rather droll now, but still it would not have been in character with her
to call him simply Tedham, as we did, in speaking of him.
"Yes," said my wife. "I don't know whether you had kept exact account of
the time. It was a surprise to us, for we hadn't. He is out, you know."
"Yes—at noon, yesterday. I wasn't likely to forget the day, or the
hour, or the minute." Mrs. Hasketh said this without relaxing the
severity of her face at all, and I confess my heart went down.
But my wife seemed not to have lost such courage as she had come with,
at least. "He has been to see us—"
"I presumed so," said Mrs. Hasketh, and as she said nothing more, Mrs.
March took the word again.
"I shall have to tell you why he came—why we came. It was something
that we did not wish to enter into, and at first my husband refused
outright. But when I saw him, and thought it over, I did not see how we
could refuse. After all, it is something you must have expected, and
that you must have been expecting at once, if you say—"
"I presume," Mrs. Hasketh said, "that he wished you to ask after his
daughter. I can understand why he did not come to us." She let one of
those dreadful silences follow, and again my wife was forced to speak.
"It is something that we didn't mean to press at all, Mrs. Hasketh, and
I won't say anything more. Only, if you care to send any word to him he
will be at our house this evening again, and I will give him your
message." She rose, not in resentment, as I could see (and I knew that
she had not come upon this errand without making herself Tedham's
partisan in some measure) but with sincere good feeling and appreciation
of Mrs. Hasketh's position. I rose with her, and Hasketh rose too.
"Oh, don't go!" Mrs. Hasketh broke out, as if surprised. "You couldn't
help coming, and I don't blame you at all. I don't blame Mr. Tedham
even. I didn't suppose I should ever forgive him. But there! that's all
long ago, and the years do change us. They change us all, Mrs. March,
and I don't feel as if I had the right to judge anybody the way I used
to judge him. Sometimes it surprises me. I did hate him, and I don't
presume I've got very much love for him now, but I don't want to punish
him any more. That's gone out of me. I don't know how it came to go, but
it went. I wish he hadn't ever got anything more to do with us, but I'm
afraid we haven't had all our punishment yet, whatever he has. It
seems to me as if the sight of Mr. Tedham would make me sick."
I found such an insufficiency in this statement of feeling that I wanted
to laugh, but I perceived that it did not appeal to my wife's sense of
humor. She said, "I can understand how you feel about it, Mrs. Hasketh."
Mrs. Hasketh seemed grateful for the sympathy. "I presume," she went on,
and I noted how often she used the quaint old-fashioned Yankee word,
"that you feel as if you had almost as much right to hate him as I had,
and that if you could overlook what he tried to do to you, I might
overlook what he did do to his own family. But as I see it, the case is
different. He failed when he tried to put the blame on Mr. March, and he
succeeded only too well in putting the shame on his own family. You
could forgive it, and it would be all the more to your credit because
you forgave it, but his family might have forgiven it ten times over,
and still they would be in disgrace through him. That is the way I
looked at it."
"And I assure you, Mrs. Hasketh, that is the way I looked at it, too,"
said my wife.
"So, when it seems hard that I should have taken his child from him,"
the woman continued, as if still arguing her case, and she probably was
arguing it with herself, "and did what I could to make her forget him, I
think it had better be considered whose sake I was doing it for, and
whether I had any right to do different. I did not think I had at the
time, or when I had to begin to act. I knew how I felt toward Mr.
Tedham; I never liked him; I never wanted my sister to marry him; and
when his trouble came, I told Mr. Hasketh that it was no more than I had
expected all along. He was that kind of a man, and he was sure to show
it, one way or other, sooner or later; and I was not disappointed when
he did what he did. I had to guard against my own feeling, and to put
myself out of the question, and that was what I tried to do when I got
him to give up the child to us and let her take our name. It was the
same as a legal adoption, and he freely consented to it, or as freely as
he could, considering where he was. But he knew it was for her good as
well as we did. There was nobody for her to look to but us, and he knew
that; his own family had no means, and, in fact, he had no family but
his father and mother, and when they died, that same first year, there
was no one left to suffer from him but his child. The question was how
much she ought to be allowed to suffer, and whether she should be
allowed to suffer at all, if it could be helped. If it was to be
prevented, it was to be by deadening her to him, by killing out her
affection for him, and much as I hated Mr. Tedham, I could not bring
myself to do that, though I used to think I would do it. He was very
fond of her, I don't deny that; I don't think it was any merit in him to
love such a child, but it was the best thing about him, and I was
willing it should count. But then there was another thing that I
couldn't bring myself to, and that was to tell the child, up and down,
all about it; and I presume that there I was weak. Well, you may say I
was weak! But I couldn't, I simply couldn't. She was only between
seven and eight when it happened—"
"I thought she was older," I ventured to put in, remembering my
impressions as to her age the last time I saw her with her father.
"No," said Mrs. Hasketh, "she always appeared rather old for her age,
and that made me all the more anxious to know just how much of the
trouble she had taken in. I suppose it was all a kind of awful mystery
to her, as most of our trials are to children; but when her father was
taken from her, she seemed to think it was something she mustn't ask
about; there are a good many things in the world that children feel that
way about—how they come into it, for one thing, and how they go out of
it; and by and by she didn't speak of it. She had some of his lightness,
and I presume that helped her through; I was afraid it did sometimes.
Then, at other times, I thought she had got the notion he was in for
life, and that was the reason she didn't speak of him; she had given him
up. Then I used to wonder whether it wasn't my duty to take her to see
him—where he was. But when I came to find out that you had to see them
through the bars, and with the kind of clothes they wear, I felt that I
might as well kill the child at once; it was for her sake I didn't take
her. You may be sure I wasn't anxious for the responsibility of not
doing it either, the way I knew I felt toward Mr. Tedham."
I did not like her protesting so much as this; but I saw that it was a
condition of her being able to deal with herself in the matter, and I
had no doubt she was telling the truth.
"You never can know just how much of a thing children have taken in, or
how much they have understood," she continued, repeating herself, as she
did throughout, "and I had to keep this in mind when I had my talks with
Fay about her father. She wanted to write to him at first, and of course
I let her—"
My wife and I could not forbear exchanging a glance of intelligence,
which Mrs. Hasketh intercepted.
"I presume he told you?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, "he showed us the letter."
"Well, it was something that had to be done. As long as she questioned
me about him, I put her off the best way I could, and after a while she
seemed to give up questioning me of her own accord. Perhaps she really
began to understand it, or some of the cruel little things she played
with said something. I was always afraid of the other children throwing
it up to her, and that was one reason we went away for three or four
years and let our place here."
"I didn't know you were gone," I said toward Hasketh, who cleared his
throat to explain:
"I had some interests at that time in Canada. We were at Quebec."
"It shows what a rush our life is," I philosophized, with the
implication that Hasketh and I had been old friends, and I ought to have
noticed that I had not met him during the time of his absence. The fact
was we had never come so near intimacy as when we exchanged confidences
concerning the severity of Tedham's sentence in coming out of the
court-room together.
"I hadn't any interest in Canada, except to get the child away," said
Mrs. Hasketh. "Sometimes it seemed strange we should be in Canada, and
not Mr. Tedham! She got acquainted with some little girls who were going
to a convent school there as externes—outside pupils, you know," Mrs.
Hasketh explained to my wife. "She got very fond of one of them—she is
a child of very warm affections. I never denied that Mr. Tedham had warm
affections—and when her little girl friend went into the convent to
go on with her education there, Fay wanted to go too, and—we let her.
That was when she was twelve, and Mr. Hasketh felt that he ought to come
back and look after his business here; and we left her in the convent.
Just as soon as she was out of the way, and out of the question, it
seemed as if I got to feeling differently toward Mr. Tedham. I don't
mean to say I ever got to like him, or that I do to this day; but I saw
that he had some rights, too, and for years and years I wanted to take
the child and tell her when he was coming out. I used to ask myself what
right I even had to keep the child from the suffering. The suffering was
hers by rights, and she ought to go through it. I got almost crazy
thinking it over. I got to thinking that her share of her father's shame
might be the very thing, of all things, that was to discipline her and
make her a good and useful woman; and that's much more than being a
happy one, Mrs. March; we can't any of us be truly happy, no matter
what's done for us. I tried to make believe that I was sparing her
alone, but I knew I was sparing myself, too, and that made it harder to
decide." She suddenly addressed herself to us both: "What would you
have done?"
My wife and I looked at each other in a dismay in which a glance from
old Hasketh assured us that we had his sympathy. It would have been far
simpler if Mrs. Hasketh had been up and down with us as Tedham's
emissaries, and refused to tell us anything of his daughter, and left us
to report to him that he must find her for himself if he found her at
all. This was what we had both expected, and we had come prepared to
take back that answer to Tedham, and discharge our whole duty towards
him in its delivery. This change in the woman who had hated him so
fiercely, but whose passion had worn itself down to the underlying
conscience with the lapse of time, certainly complicated the case. I was
silent; my wife said: "I don't know what I should have done, Mrs.
Hasketh;" and Mrs. Hasketh resumed:
"If I did wrong in trying to separate her life from her father's, I was
punished for it, because when I wanted to undo my work, I didn't know
how to begin; I presume that's the worst of a wrong thing. Well, I never
did begin; but now I've got to. The time's come, and I presume it's as
easy now as it ever could be; easier. He's out and it's over, as far as
the law is concerned; and if she chooses she can see him. I'll prepare
her for it as well as I can, and he can come if she wishes it."
"Do you mean that he can see her here?" my wife asked.
"Yes," said Mrs. Hasketh, with a sort of strong submission.
"At once? To-day?"
"No," Mrs. Hasketh faltered. "I didn't want him to see her just the
first day, or before I saw him; and I thought he might try to. She's
visiting at some friends in Providence; but she'll be back to-morrow. He
can come to-morrow night, if she says so. He can come and find out. But
if he was anything of a man he wouldn't want to."
"I'm afraid," I ventured, "he isn't anything of that kind of man."
"Now, how unhandsome life is!" I broke out, at one point on our way
home, after we had turned the affair over in every light, and then
dropped it, and then taken it up again. "It's so graceless, so
tasteless! Why didn't Tedham die before the expiration of his term and
solve all this knotty problem with dignity? Why should he have lived on
in this shabby way and come out and wished to see his daughter? If there
had been anything dramatic, anything artistic in the man's nature, he
would have renounced the claim his mere paternity gives him on her love,
and left word with me that he had gone away and would never be heard of
any more. That was the least he could have done. If he had wanted to do
the thing heroically—and I wouldn't have denied him that
satisfaction—he would have walked into that pool in the old cockpit and
lain down among the autumn leaves on its surface, and made an end of the
whole trouble with his own burdensome and worthless existence. That
would truly have put an end to the evil he began."
"I wouldn't be—impious, Basil," said my wife, with a moment's
hesitation for the word. Then she sighed and added, "Yes, it seems as if
that would be the only thing that could end it. There doesn't really
seem to be any provision in life for ending such things. He will have to
go on and make more and more trouble. Poor man! I feel almost as sorry
for him as I do for her. I guess he hasn't expiated his sin yet, as
fully as he thinks he has."
"And then," I went on, with a strange pleasure I always get out of the
poignancy of a despair not my own, "suppose that this isn't all. Suppose
that the girl has met some one who has become interested in her, and
whom she will have to tell of this stain upon her name?"
"Basil!" cried my wife, "that is cruel of you! You knew I was keeping
away from that point, and it seems as if you tried to make it as
afflicting as you could—the whole affair."
"Well, I don't believe it's as bad as that. Probably she hasn't met any
one in that way; at any rate, it's pure conjecture on my part, and my
conjecture doesn't make it so."
"It doesn't unmake it, either, for you to say that now," my wife
lamented.
"Well, well! Don't let's think about it, then. The case is bad enough as
it stands, Heaven knows, and we've got to grapple with it as soon as we
get home. We shall find Tedham waiting for us, I dare say, unless
something has happened to him. I wonder if anything can have been good
enough to happen to Tedham, overnight."
I got a little miserable fun out of this, but my wife would not laugh;
she would not be placated in any way; she held me in a sort responsible
for the dilemma I had conjectured, and inculpated me in some measure for
that which had really presented itself.
When we reached home she went directly to her room and had a cup of tea
sent to her there, and the children and I had rather a solemn time at
the table together. A Sunday tea-table is solemn enough at the best,
with its ghastly substitution of cold dishes or thin sliced things for
the warm abundance of the week-day dinner; with the gloom of Mrs.
March's absence added, this was a very funereal feast indeed.
We went on quite silently for a while, for the children saw I was
preoccupied; but at last I asked, "Has anybody called this afternoon?"
"I don't know exactly whether it was a call or not," said my daughter,
with a nice feeling for the social proprieties which would have amused
me at another time. "But that strange person who was here last night,
was here again."
"Oh!"
"He said he would come in the evening. I forgot to tell you. Papa, what
kind of person is he?"
"I don't know. What makes you ask?"
"Why, we think he wasn't always a workingman. Tom says he looks as if he
had been in some kind of business, and then failed."
"What makes you think that, Tom?" I asked the boy.
"Oh, I don't know. He speaks so well."
"He always spoke well, poor fellow," I said with a vague amusement. "And
you're quite right, Tom. He was in business once and he failed—badly."
I went up to my wife's room and told her what the children had said of
Tedham's call, and that he was coming back again.
"Well, then, I think I shall let you see him alone, Basil. I'm
completely worn out, and besides there's no reason why I should see him.
I hope you'll get through with him quickly. There isn't really anything
for you to say, except that we have seen the Haskeths, and that if he is
still bent upon it he can find his daughter there to-morrow evening. I
want you to promise me that you will confine yourself to that, Basil,
and not say a single word more. There is no sense in our involving
ourselves in the affair. We have done all we could, and more than he had
any right to ask of us, and now I am determined that he shall not get
anything more out of you. Will you promise?"
"You may be sure, my dear, that I don't wish to get any more involved in
this coil of sin and misery than you do," I began.
"That isn't promising," she interrupted. "I want you to promise you'll
say just that and no more."
"Oh, I'll promise fast enough, if that's all you want," I said.
"I don't trust you a bit, Basil," she lamented. "Now, I will explain to
you all about it. I've thought the whole thing over."
She did explain, at much greater length than she needed, and she was
still giving me some very solemn charges when the bell rang, and I knew
that Tedham had come. "Now, remember what I've told you," she called
after me, as I went to the door, "and be sure to tell me, when you come
back, just how he takes it and every word he says. Oh, dear, I know
you'll make the most dreadful mess of it!"
By this time I expected to do no less, but I was so curious to see
Tedham again that I should have been willing to do much worse, rather
than forego my meeting with him. I hope that there was some better
feeling than curiosity in my heart, but I will, for the present, call it
curiosity.
I met him in the hall at the foot of the stairs, and put a witless
cheeriness into the voice I bade him good-evening with, while I gave him
my hand and led the way into the parlor.
The twenty-four hours that had elapsed since I saw him there before had
estranged him in a way that I find it rather hard to describe. He had
shrunk from the approach to equality in which we had parted, and there
was a sort of consciousness of disgrace in his look, such as might have
shown itself if he had passed the time in a low debauch. But undoubtedly
he had done nothing of the kind, and this effect in him was from a
purely moral cause. He sat down on the edge of a chair, instead of
leaning back, as he had done the night before.
"Well, Tedham," I began, "we have seen your sister-in-law, and I may as
well tell you at once that, so far as she is concerned, there will be
nothing in the way of your meeting your daughter. The Haskeths are
living at their old place in Somerville, and your daughter will be with
them there to-morrow night—just at this moment she is away—and you can
find her there, then, if you wish."
Tedham kept those deep eye-hollows of his bent upon me, and listened
with a passivity which did not end when I ceased to speak. I had said
all that my wife had permitted me to say in her charge to me, and the
incident ought to have been closed, as far as we were concerned. But
Tedham's not speaking threw me off my guard. I could not let the matter
end so bluntly, and I added, in the same spirit one makes a scrawl at
the bottom of a page, "Of course, it's for you to decide whether you
will or not."
"What do you mean?" asked Tedham, feebly, but as if he were physically
laying hold of me for help.
"Why, I mean—I mean—my dear fellow, you know what I mean! Whether you
had better do it." This was the very thing I had not intended to do, for
I saw how wise my wife's plan was, and how we really had nothing more to
do with the matter, after having satisfied the utmost demands of
humanity.
"You think I had better not," said Tedham.
"No," I said, but I felt that I was saying it too late, "I don't think
anything about it."
"I have been thinking about it, too," said Tedham, as if I had confessed
and not denied having an opinion in the matter. "I have been thinking
about it ever since I saw you last night, and I don't believe I have
slept, for thinking of it. I know how you and Mrs. March feel about it,
and I have tried to see it from your point of view, and now I believe I
do. I am not going to see my daughter; I am going away."
He stood up, in token of his purpose, and at the same moment my wife
entered the room. She must have been hurrying to do so from the moment I
left her, for she had on a fresh dress, and her hair had the effect of
being suddenly, if very effectively, massed for the interview from the
dispersion in which I had lately seen it. She swept me with a glance of
reproach, as she went up to Tedham, in the pretence that he had risen to
meet her, and gave him her hand. I knew that she divined all that had
passed between us, but she said:
"Mr. March has told you that we have seen Mrs. Hasketh, and that you can
find your daughter at her house to-morrow evening?"
"Yes, and I have just been telling him that I am not going to see her."
"That is very foolish—very wrong!" my wife began.
"I know you must say so," Tedham replied, with more dignity and force
than I could have expected, "and I know how kind you and Mr. March have
been. But you must see that I am right—that she is the only one to be
considered at all."
"Right! How are you right? Have you been suggesting that, my dear?"
demanded my wife, with a gentle despair of me in her voice.
It almost seemed to me that I had, but Tedham came to my rescue most
unexpectedly.
"No, Mrs. March, he hasn't said anything of the kind to me; or, if he
has, I haven't heard it. But you intimated, yourself, last night, that
she might be so situated—"
"I was a wicked simpleton," cried my wife, and I forebore to triumph,
even by a glance at her; "to put my doubts between you and your daughter
in any way. It was romantic, and—and—disgusting. It's not only your
right to see her, it's your duty. At least it's your duty to let her
decide whether she will let you see her. What nonsense! Of course she
will! She must bear her part in it. She ought not to escape it, even if
she could. Now you must just drop all idea of going away, and you must
stay, and you must go to see your daughter. There is no other way to
do."
Tedham shook his head stubbornly. "She has borne her share, already, and
I won't inflict my penalty on her innocence—"
"Innocence? It's because she is innocent that it must be inflicted
upon her! That is what innocence is in the world for!"
Tedham looked back at her in a dull bewilderment. "I can't get back to
that. It seemed so once; but now it looks selfish, and I'm afraid of it.
I am not the one to take that ground. It might do for you—"
"Well, then, let it do for me!" I confess that I was astonished at this
turn, or should have been, if I could be astonished at any turn a woman
takes. "I will see her for you, if you wish, and I will tell her just
how it is with you, and then she can decide for herself. You have
certainly no right to decide for her, whether she will see you or not,
have you?"
"No," Tedham admitted.
"Well, then, sit down and listen."
He sat down, and my wife reasoned it all out with him. She convinced me,
perfectly, so that what Tedham proposed to do seemed not only
sentimental and foolish, but unnatural and impious. I confess that I
admired her casuistry, and gave it my full support. She was a woman who,
in the small affairs of the tastes and the nerves and the prejudices
could be as illogical as the best of her sex, but with a question large
enough to engage the hereditary powers of her New England nature she
showed herself a dialectician worthy of her Puritan ancestry.
Tedham rose when she had made an end; and when we both expected him to
agree with her and obey her, he said, "Very likely you are right. I once
saw it all that way myself, but I don't see it so now, and I can't do
it. Perhaps we shouldn't care for each other; at any rate, it's too much
to risk, and I can't do it. Good-by." He began sidling toward the door.
I would have detained him, but my wife made me a sign not to interfere.
"But surely, Mr. Tedham," she pleaded, "you are going to leave some word
for her—or for Mrs. Hasketh to give her?"
"No," he answered, "I don't think I will. If I don't appear, then she
won't see me, and that will be all there is of it."
"Yes, but Mrs. Hasketh will probably tell her that you have asked about
her, and will prepare her for your coming, and then if you don't come—"
"What time is it, March?" Tedham asked.
I took out my watch. "It's nine o'clock." I was surprised to find it no
later.
"I can get over to Somerville before ten, can't I? I'll go and tell Mrs.
Hasketh I am not coming."
We could not prevent his getting away, by force, and we had used all the
arguments we could have hoped to detain him with. As he opened the door
to go out into the night, "But, Tedham!" I called to him, "if anything
happens, where are we to find you, hear of you?"
He hesitated. "I will let you know. Well, good-night."
"I suppose this isn't the end, Isabel," I said, after we had turned from
looking blankly at the closed door, and listening to Tedham's steps,
fainter and fainter on the board-walk to the gate.
"There never is an end to a thing like this!" she returned, with a
passionate sigh of pity. "Oh, what a terrible thing an evil deed is! It
can't end. It has to go on and on forever. Poor wretch! He thought he
had got to the end of his misdeed, when he had suffered the punishment
for it, but it was only just beginning then! Now, you see, it has a
perfectly new lease of life. It's as if it had just happened, as far as
the worst consequences are concerned."
"Yes," I assented. "By the way, that was a great idea of yours about the
office of innocence in the world, Isabel!"
"Why, Basil!" she cried, "you don't suppose I believed in such a
monstrous thing as that, do you?"
"You made me believe in it."
"Well, then, I can tell you that I merely said it so as to convince him
that he ought to let his daughter decide whether she would see him or
not, and it had nothing whatever to do with the matter. Do you think you
could find me anything to eat, dear? I'm perfectly famishing, and it
doesn't seem as if I could stir a step till I've had a bite of
something."
She sank down on the sofa in the hall in proof of her statement, and I
went out into the culinary regions (deserted of their dwellers after our
early tea) and made her up a sandwich along with the one I had the
Sunday-night habit of myself. I found some half-bottles of ale on the
ice, and I brought one of them, too. Before we had emptied it we
resigned ourselves to what we could not help in Tedham's case; perhaps
we even saw it in a more hopeful light.
The next day was one of those lax Mondays which come before the Tuesdays
and Wednesdays when business has girded itself up for the week, and I
got home from the office rather earlier than usual. My wife met me with,
"Why, what has happened?"
"Nothing," I said; "I had a sort of presentiment that something had
happened here."
"Well, nothing at all has happened, and you have had your presentiment
for your pains, if that's what you hurried home for."
I justified myself as well as I could, and I added, "That wretched
Tedham has been in my mind all day. I think he has made a ridiculous
mistake. As if he could stop the harm by taking himself off! The harm
goes on independently of him; it is hardly his harm any more."
"That is the way it has seemed to me, too, all day," said my wife. "You
don't suppose he has been out of my mind either? I wish we had never had
anything to do with him."
A husband likes to abuse his victory, when he has his wife quite at his
mercy, but the case was so entirely in my favor that for once I forbore.
I could see that she was suffering for having put into Tedham's head the
notion which had resulted in this error, and I considered that she was
probably suffering enough. Besides, I was afraid that if I said anything
it would bring out the fact that I had myself intimated the question
again which his course had answered so mistakenly. I could well imagine
that she was grateful for my forbearance, and I left her to this
admirable state of mind while I went off to put myself a little in shape
after my day's work and my journey out of town. I kept thinking how
perfectly right in the affair Tedham's simple, selfish instinct had
been, and how our several consciences had darkened counsel; that quaint
Tuscan proverb came into ray mind: Lascia fare Iddio, ch' è un buon
vecchio. We had not been willing to let God alone, or to trust his
leading; we had thought to improve on his management of the case, and to
invent a principle for poor Tedham that should be better for him to act
upon than the love of his child, which God had put into the man's heart,
and which was probably the best thing that had ever been there. Well, we
had got our come-uppings, as the country people say, and however we
might reason it away we had made ourselves responsible for the event.
There came a ring at the door that made my own heart jump into my mouth.
I knew it was Tedham come back again, and I was still in the throes of
buttoning on my collar when my wife burst into my room. I smiled round
at her as gayly as I could with the collar-buttoning grimace on my face.
"All right, I'll be down in a minute. You just go and talk to him
till—"
"Him?" she gasped back; and I have never been quite sure of her syntax
to this day. "Them! It's Mr. and Mrs. Hasketh, and some young lady! I
saw them through the window coming up the walk."
"Good Lord! You don't suppose it's Tedham's daughter?"
"How do I know? Oh, how could you be dressing at a time like this!"
It did seem to me rather heinous, and I did not try to defend myself,
even when she added, from her access of nervousness, in something like a
whimper, "It seems to me you're always dressing, Basil!"
"I'll be right with you, my dear," I answered, penitently; and, in fact,
by the time the maid brought up the Haskeths' cards I was ready to go
down. We certainly needed each other's support, and I do not know but we
descended the stairs hand in hand, and entered the parlor leaning upon
each other's shoulders. The Haskeths, who were much more deeply
concerned, were not apparently so much moved. We shook hands with them,
and then Mrs. Hasketh said to us in succession, "My niece, Mrs. March;
Mr. March, my niece."
The young girl had risen, and stood veiled before us, and a sort of
heart-breaking appeal expressed itself in the gentle droop of her
figure, which did the whole office of her hidden face. The Haskeths were
dressed, as became their years, in a composite fashion of no particular
period; but I noticed at once, with the fondness I have for what is
pretty in the modes, that Miss Tedham wore one of the latest costumes,
and that she was not only a young girl, but a young lady, with all that
belongs to the outward seeming of one of the gentlest of the kind. It
struck me as the more monstrous, therefore, that she should be involved
in the coil of her father's inexpiable offence, which entangled her
whether he stayed or whether he went. It was well enough that the
Haskeths should still be made miserable through him; it belonged to
their years and experience; they would soon end, at any rate, and it did
not matter whether their remnant of life was dark or bright. But this
child had a right to a long stretch of unbroken sunshine. As I stood and
looked at her I felt the heart-burning, the indefinable indignation that
we feel in the presence of death when it is the young and fair who have
died. Here is a miscalculation, a mistake. It ought not to have been.
I thought that my wife, in the effusion of sympathy, would have perhaps
taken the girl in her arms; but probably she knew that the dropped veil
was a sign that there was to be no embracing. She put out her hand, and
the girl took it with her gloved hand; but though the outward forms of
their greeting were so cold, I fancied an instant understanding and
kindness between them.
"My niece," Mrs. Hasketh explained, when we were all seated, "came home
this afternoon, instead of this morning, when we expected her."
My wife said, "Oh, yes," and after a moment, a very painful moment, in
which I think we all tried to imagine something that would delay the
real business, Mrs. Hasketh began again.
"Mrs. March," she said, in a low voice, and with a curious, apologetic
kind of embarrassment, "we have come—Fay wanted we should come and ask
if you knew about her father—"
"Why, didn't he come to you last night?" my wife began.
"Yes, he did," said Mrs. Hasketh, in a crest-fallen sort, "But we
thought—we thought—you might know where he was. And Fay—Did he tell
you what he was going to do?"
"Yes," my wife gasped back.
The young girl put aside her veil in turning to my wife, and showed a
face which had all the ill-starred beauty of poor Tedham, with something
more in it that she never got from that handsome reprobate—conscience,
soul—whatever we choose to call a certain effluence of heaven which
blesses us with rest and faith whenever we behold it in any human
countenance. She was very young-looking, and her voice had a wistful
innocence.
"Do you think my father will be here again to-night? Oh, I must see him!"
I perceived that my wife could not speak, and I said, to gain time,
"Why, I've been expecting him to come in at any moment;" and this was
true enough.
"I guess he's not very far off," said old Hasketh. "I don't believe but
what he'll turn up." Within the comfort these words were outwardly
intended to convey to the anxious child, I felt an inner contempt of
Tedham, a tacit doubt of the man's nature, which was more to me than the
explicit faith in his return. For some reason Hasketh had not trusted
Tedham's decision, and he might very well have done this without
impugning anything but the weakness of his will.
My wife now joined our side, apparently because it was the only theory
of the case that could be openly urged. "Oh, yes, I am sure. In fact he
promised my husband to let him know later where he was. Didn't you
understand him so, my dear?"
I had not understood him precisely to this effect, but I answered, "Yes,
certainly," and we began to reassure one another more and more. We
talked on and on to one another, but all the time we talked at the young
girl, or for her encouragement; but I suppose the rest felt as I did,
that we were talking provisionally, or without any stable ground of
conviction. For my part, though I indulged that contempt of Tedham, I
still had a lurking fear that the wretch had finally and forever
disappeared, and I had a vision, very disagreeable and definite, of
Tedham lying face downward in the pool of the old cockpit and shone on
by the stars in the hushed circle of the woods. Simultaneously I heard
his daughter saying, "I can't understand why he shouldn't have come to
us, or should have put it off. He couldn't think I didn't wish to see
him." And now I looked at my wife aghast, for I perceived that the
Haskeths must have lacked the courage to tell her that her father had
decided himself not to see her again, and that they had brought her to
us that we might stay her with some hopes, false or true, of meeting him
soon. "I don't know what they mean," she went on, appealing from them to
us, "by saying that it might be better if I never saw him again!"
"I don't say that any more, child," said Mrs. Hasketh, with affecting
humility. "I'm sure there isn't any one in the whole world that I would
bless the sight of half as much."
"I could have come before, if I'd known where he was; or, if I had only
known, I might have been here Saturday!" She broke into a piteous
lamentation, with tears and sobs that wrung my heart and made me feel
like one of a conspiracy of monsters. "But he couldn't—he
couldn't—have thought I didn't want to see him!"
It was a very trying moment for us all, and I think that if we had, any
of us, had our choice, we should have preferred to be in her place
rather than our own. We miserably did what we could to comfort her, and
we at last silenced her with I do not know what pretences. The affair
was quite too much for me, and I made a feint of having heard the
children calling me, and I went out into the hall. I felt that there was
a sort of indecency in my witnessing that poor young thing's emotion;
women might see it, but a man ought not. Perhaps old Hasketh felt the
same; he followed me out, and when we were beyond hearing, even if he
had spoken aloud, he dropped his voice to a thick murmur and said, "This
has all been a mistake. We have had to get out of it with the girl the
best we could; and we don't dare to let her know that Tedham isn't
coming back any more. You noticed from what she said that my wife tried
to make believe it might be well if he didn't; but she had to drop
that; it set the girl wild. She hasn't got anything but the one idea:
that she and her father belong to each other, and that they must be
together for the rest of their lives. A curious thing about it is," and
Hasketh sank his voice still lower to say this, "that she thinks that if
he's taken the punishment that was put upon him he has atoned for what
he did; and if any one tries to make him suffer more he does worse than
Tedham did, and he's flying in the face of Providence. Perhaps it's so.
I'm afraid," Hasketh continued, with the satisfaction men take in
blaming their wives under the cover of sympathy, "that Mrs. Hasketh is
going to feel it more and more, as time goes on, unless Tedham turns up.
I was never in favor of trying to have the child forget him, or be
separated from him in any way. That kind of thing can't be made to work,
and I don't suppose, when you come to boil it down, that it's
essentially right. This universe, I take it, isn't an accident in any
particular, and if she's his daughter it's because she was meant to be,
and to bear and share with him. You see it was a great mistake not to
prepare the child for it sooner, and tell her just when Tedham would be
out, so that if she wanted to see him she could. She thinks she ought to
have been there at the prison waiting to speak to him the first one. I
thought it was a mistake to have her away, and I guess that's the way
Mrs. Hasketh looks at it herself, now."
A stir of garments made itself heard from the parlor at last, and we
knew the ladies had risen. In a loud voice Hasketh began to say that
they had a carriage down at the gate, and I said they had better let me
show them the way down; and as my wife followed the others into the
hall, I pulled open the outer door for them. On the threshold stood a
man about to ring, who let his hand drop from the bell-pull. "Why,
Tedham!" I shouted, joyfully.
The light from the hall-lamp struck full on his face; we all
involuntarily shrank back, except the girl, who looked, not at the man
before her, but first at her aunt and then at her uncle, timorously, and
murmured some inaudible question. They did not answer, and now Tedham
and his daughter looked at each other, with what feeling no one can ever
fully say.
It always seemed to me as if we had witnessed something like the return
of one from the dead, in this meeting. We were talking it over one
evening some weeks later, and "It would be all very well," I
philosophized, "if the dead came back at once, but if one came back
after ten years, it would be difficult."
"It was worse than coming back from the dead," said my wife. "But I hope
that is the end of it so far as we are concerned. I am sure I am glad to
be out of it, and I don't wish to see any of them ever again."
"Why, I don't know about that," I returned, and I began to laugh. "You
know Hubbell, our inspector of agencies?"
"What has he got to do with it?"
"Hubbell has had a romantic moment. He thinks that in view of the
restitution Tedham made as far as he could, and his excellent
record—elsewhere—it would be a fine thing for the Reciprocity to
employ him again in our office, and he wanted to suggest it to the
actuary."
"Basil! You didn't allow him to do such a cruel thing as that?"
"No, my dear, I am happy to say that I sat upon that dramatic climax."
This measurably consoled my wife, but she did not cease to denounce the
idea for some moments. When she ended, I asked her if she would allow
the company to employ Tedham in a subordinate place in another city, and
when she signified that this might be suffered, I said that this was
what would probably be done. Then I added, seriously, that I thoroughly
liked the notion of it, and that I took it for a testimony that poor old
Tedham was right, and that he had at last fully expiated his offence
against society.
His daughter continued to live with her aunt and uncle, but Tedham used
to spend his holidays with them, and, however incongruously, they got on
together very well, I believe. The girl kept the name of Hasketh, and I
do not suppose that many people knew her relation to Tedham. It appeared
that our little romantic supposition of a love affair, which the reunion
of father and child must shatter, was for the present quite gratuitous.
But if it should ever come to that, my wife and I had made up our minds
to let God manage. We said that we had already had one narrow escape in
proposing to better the divine way of doing, and we should not interfere
again. Still I cannot truly say that we gave Providence our entire
confidence as long as there remained the chance of further evil through
the sort of romance we had dreaded for the girl. Till she was married
there was an incompleteness, a potentiality of trouble, in the incident
apparently closed that haunted us with a distrustful anxiety. We had to
wait several years for the end, but it came eventually, and she was
married to a young Englishman whom she had met in Canada, and whom she
told all about her unhappy family history before she permitted herself
to accept him.
During the one brief interview I had with him, for the purpose of
further blackening her father's character (for so I understood her
insistence that I should see the young man), he seemed not only wholly
unmoved by the facts, but was apparently sorry that poor Tedham had not
done much worse things, and many more of them, that he might forgive him
for her sake.
They went to live abroad after they were married; and by and by Tedham
joined them. So far now as human vision can perceive, the trouble he
made, the evil he did, is really at an end. Love, which can alone arrest
the consequences of wrong, had ended it, and in certain luminous moments
it seemed to us that we had glimpsed, in our witness of this experience,
an infinite compassion encompassing our whole being like a sea, where
every trouble of our sins and sorrows must cease at last like a circle
in the water.